homeiswherethe-artis

[homeiswherethe-artis]

Hi everyone this is important!!

I’ve moved to the account @pearlmoney so follow me there <33

[homeiswherethe-artis]

The Haunting of Miss Caroline Marsden (snippet)

The audience’s applause could be heard two storeys down, everyone knew the name Caroline Marsden. She stepped from behind the tall black curtains putting on her best smile, she had practised everyday since she was ten for this exact moment. Her sleek black heels clacked on the hardwood floor, she felt as if she would slip with every step she took. It seemed like their cheering would never stop, this stage was so big, it would take at least twenty seconds to walk to the desk. Caroline kept her performed smile on, waving back to the hundreds of staring faces who claimed to know everything about her; who all adored her. Finally, Caroline was on the other side of the stage, shaking hands with an equally, but not quite as, famous TV host. She sat down on the bouncy red couch, feeling the bumpy rhinestones on her dress under her. 

‘Welcome Caroline, it’s so lovely to have you here! Can we all give her another big round of applause?’ Oh god not again. Their hands must be red at this point. Did she even care though? The applause is what she lived for, she needed it. Caroline continued smiling, her face still like stone on the brink of collapse. The clapping slowly faded and Caroline locked eyes with the host once again.

‘So, Please Let Go, huh? Coming to theatres on March 10th; What an amazing piece of work this is!’

‘Oh yes, thank you John.’

‘Why don’t you tell us a little bit more about this film?’

As soon as that question is asked it feels as though everything fades, all sounds are muffled and her vision subsides, Caroline is only able to see her memories and her art.

‘Well, Please Let Go is a drama piece about a girl, Rachael, who is in a difficult first relationship and doesn’t know how to get out of it because she’s afraid of what her partner will say or do. It’s a very important piece of film that I think a lot of young people can relate to and find comfort in.’ she talked so highly of her work it made her want to vomit. Caroline never wanted to be one of those directors who were stuck up and talked freely about how amazing they were. She knew she and her art were perfect but no one was allowed to use that against her, so she had to be perceived as humble. But the applause gets to her, and she can’t help but talk like she’s the only person in the world. 

‘That’s amazing. Now what’s the backstory to this film? How did you come to create it?’

Caroline smiled wider than she thought possible and let out a breath of satisfaction. This was her favourite question. She sat up and fixed her posture, wanting to look her absolute best.

‘Well it’s actually based on the book my partner wrote with the same name. I remember reading it the first time and being so moved by it, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.’

‘Did you two write this together?’

‘Oh my partner Rose definitely helped me a lot, I mean it was based on their book, of course I’d look to her for guidance.’

There were soft ‘aaw’s in the crowd as Caroline spoke of Rose, someone these fans should be quite familiar with by now. The amount Caroline talks about them online and in interviews was astounding, she was shocked no one told her to be quiet by now.

‘That’s lovely, and where is Rose tonight?’

‘She’s in Seattle on her book tour, promoting her new limited edition version of Please Let Go. I hope they’re watching me in their hotel room tonight.’ Caroline spoke with a less forced and more fond smile, thinking about her loved partner watching her from afar. Caroline looked right down the barrel of one of the huge film cameras on set, ‘I love you Rosey, I hope you’re having a good time over there.’ The audience erupted in cheers once again, Caroline’s ears didn’t respond to it, blocking it out as she dreamt of her partner being here with her talking about their new movie.

The loud applause was cut short by the TV switching off, leaving Caroline in a dark, cold, empty room. Tissues, wrappers, bottles, anything else that would’ve been cleaned off the floor in an instant stayed there in a depressing tableau, almost waiting to be put away, watching in judgement at Caroline’s newly found state. Caroline stared at the black screen, just able to see her now rejected reflection. Before she could think too hard on that, she pulled herself up from her chair and dragged her feet to the kitchen. She sighed, opening the fridge to find another drink, but she had already wasted them all. She hung her head in shame before turning to the clock on the microwave. ‘7:09AM’ it read, that familiar pit sat in her stomach realising she’s gone another night without sleep. How long has it been now? 75 hours? It was hard to keep track, Caroline had more important things to think about, like her premiere in two weeks, her fitting tomorrow, or well today. And the funeral on Friday. Before she could even stop herself she let out a quiet chuckle.

‘What kind of heartless bastard holds a funeral on a Friday? Like come on Jill, we all have better things to be doing, I’d rather spend my Friday dressed in a bikini on the beach with a drink in one hand and a woman in the other! Not standing around people I hate, mourning a person who shouldn’t even be having this so called fucking celebration!’ Caroline shouted to no one, throwing her half empty bottle at the wall opposite her, gasping as it shattered against the paint. She stared at the wet stain on the wall, trying to slow her breathing back to normal but failing completely. She left the glass pile on the floor, too distressed to even think about cleaning it. She slowly walked back to her chair and slumped down, giving a long dramatic sigh. Caroline hadn’t felt like this since college. Excessive depression and nothing to help it, not a single thing could pull her out of her ‘funk’ as her mom would call it. Well there was one thing, but she was gone now.

Thank you for reading a section of my book The Haunting of Miss Caroline Marsden!! If you have any questions or want to see more let me know, I do want to start posting more about my books and actual content in them. 

#original story #writer #young writer #original character #my book #WIP book #wip #book teaser #book snippet #ghost story #mystery book #new writer

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I held a funeral for you

I held a funeral for you in my back yard

A mound of dirt

A cross of wood made by me

A picture of you

I sung the songs made for you

I whispered prayers

I waited by your side

Trying to grasp your hand

I clawed at dirt

Filth in my nails

I dug for hours

But you’ve decomposed

The skeleton of you left

-Mason Gilbert

#poem #poet #poetry #original poetry #queer poetry #original poem #queer poet #bpd poetry #fp poem #i got broken up with lolz

[homeiswherethe-artis]

My mother deserved to be an artist

#poem #not really a poem idk #i love my mum

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I’ve been working super hard on my book The Dead End and I’m so excited to share this with people!! if anyone’s interested, I might post little snippets from what I’m writing so I can stop harassing my boyfriend with them lmao 

#writer #writers on tumblr #im gonna post it anyway but like interact with me its fun lol

[homeiswherethe-artis]

She Lives in the Skin, And the Skin is Her Favourite

I slice into your body

a warm

wet

burning

home for me to live in

concealed by the tissue growing over me

no one knows where I reside

but you feel me squirm under your skin

like the parasite I am

and the parasite I told you I’d be

-Mason Gilbert

#bpd poetry #npd poetry #poem #poetry #I dont like how i love people #i am she #Love poem #poet #original poetry

[homeiswherethe-artis]

Writing commission help lol

Anyone got any tips on starting writing commissions? I’m thinking of opening some and need some help, I’ve never done commissions lol

#writer #writing commissions #help how do commissions work #commissions

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I Don’t Have a Brain

Why does the brain do this?

Why does it lie and deceive

It seems to do things on its own

Without me

It speaks without me

It doesn’t feel like mine

#poetry #poem #queer poetry #original poem #original poetry #queer poet #bpd problems #bpd poetry #bpd poem

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Do you want to help me write a chapter?

Hello!! I’m writing a book that will include scenes inside a mental hospital/psych ward, I have no personal experiences with such places and would like to depict them and the people within them as well as I can. So with the help of you and this handy google form, you could tell me your personal experience with psych wards completely anonymously! Please answer the questions with as much detail as you are comfortable with, just whatever you may think help :) thank you so much to anyone who participates!! If you would like to learn a little more about the book, it’s in my pinned post :3 (the haunting of miss Caroline Marsden) Google Form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe7Re98TVWxKh3XTZX5obuF8OZBID3ztSw9RIDsrOhJysoqwA/viewform?usp=sf_link

#writer #help me write #psych ward #psych ward stories #google form #mental hospital #mental illness #bpd #mentally ill characters #how am I meant to tag this #beginner writer #idk if this is good

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I think of writing letters

TW// suicide

I think of writing you all letters

Each of you

Telling you how I felt

How this wasn’t your fault

I’d write you all poetry

Buy you all gifts

Make you happy in a time that would break your heart

I don’t think of how you’d react though

I never want to think about that

Bloody wrists with hand written notes in a box next to me

You crying and gasping

Hoping and praying there’s a small part of my soul still there

I’ll watch over you all once I’m gone

Even the ones I didn’t like

I’ll make sure you’re all okay

Because I love you

- Mason Gilbert

#poetry #poem #queer poetry #original poem #original poetry #queer poet #suicide prevention #mental heath support #mental health poem #mentally ill poem

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Something is wrong with me

There is pure hate in my body

And I fear it

I don’t want it to be mine

It is a parasite

It is contagious

My hate grows and clings to people who don’t deserve it,

It seeps into their veins and infects their minds

And my hate becomes theirs

And I feel what they felt

-Mason Gilbert

#poetry #poem #queer poetry #original poem #original poetry #queer poet #queer writer #vent poetry #gd help me #bpd poetry

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I could write you a thousand poems

But not one of them

Could describe just how much I truly love you

-Mason Gilbert

#poetry #poem #love poem #original poem #original poetry #queer poetry #queer writer #i love my boyfriend #wow I miss him I wanna be with him forever

[homeiswherethe-artis]

I love being in love with you

I love being in love with you

You are the ice in my water

The flower in my fields

You’re so beautiful

You’re the cold summer sheets on my bed in December, welcoming, calming, a reminder

That life is worth it

You are the music I listen to and the lyrics I sing

The beat, the tempo, the symphony

You make up what art is

You’re the beginning sunrise and the afternoon chill

You are my bookmark in my pages

The straw in my cup

My clothes

My smile

My home

I do not need you

But I wouldn’t be happy without you

-Mason Gilbert

#poetry #my poem #love poem #i really love my partner #i need to post love poems more #queer poetry #queer poet #queer writer #poem #original poem #neurodivergent writer

[homeiswherethe-artis]

“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”

I saw a girl on my feed and thought “I wish I was a pretty girl”

But I know I’m a pretty girl

A pretty something

She had blonde hair and blue eyes just like me, so why didn’t I think I was pretty then?

I wear makeup like her, our teeth are similar, I have bumps on my face like her

Her collarbones were like tall mountains, her jaw like a knife

But mine? Mine are hidden under a sea, a jaw soft like sheep, a world of bones and edges that will not be seen

and for that, why aren’t I pretty?

I’m “unique” they say

“Different” they declare

But never pretty I suppose

Sure I’ve been called pretty, beautiful, gorgeous but it’s always with its partner “different” and her sister “unique”

I’m pretty for a fat girl

But never just a pretty girl

Maybe I haven’t been told that upfront but it’s been said to girls like me and sang to me in a different melody

“No matter your fat, I still love you”

But you don’t, do you? My shape is what makes me different front the other pretty girls,

my body is your trophy, your message to the world that you believe in equality

I am but your token, a ticket to the good side

The more of me, the more you show to others

I share my experiences and you share it to your friends who caused such experiences to happen

“See? She’s not like other fat girls, she loves being fat”

That is not for you to say, I am other fat girls

I am a sister to them, holding their hands while we cry and scream for something more, for a taste of true love and acceptance

But you’re too busy looking at our figure, salivating then slashing

What do you want?

You search for my body being used but when I present it to you it’s nothing but blubber and oil

We are water and oil, so often paired but you refuse to mix, what is it?

I am not on display in a sex shop, specially designed to please you with my womanly curves

I am a person built for winter and comfort, a body filled by mother nature, why can’t you love me like her?

I saw a girl on my feed and thought, “why aren’t I a pretty girl?”

This poem is my answer.

-Mason Gilbert ~ 3/5/23

#poetry #fat girls #plus size #poem #queer poet #young poet #original poetry

[homeiswherethe-artis]

Hello hello hellooo~!

My name is Mason! I’m a 16 year old queer trans person living in Aotearoa 🇳🇿 audhd + other neurodivergencies

I am a writer, beginner poet and working towards film making. I write fictional stories and sloppy moody poetry because what else is a teen drop out going to do?? I’m currently in the process of writing two books which I will expand on later. Here I’ll be posting short stories, poems, updates and short excerpts from my books and probably other things.

A lot of my writing stems from my own experiences in life as a queer and mentally ill/disordered person, trying to create stories and characters people can find comfort and safety in. Growing up, and even now, it was hard seeing people like me be represented probably in all kinds of media, driving me to be a creator so young people frowning up can feel happy and accepted in beautiful worlds unlike ours

But most of it is half-thought ideas with half-baked deep meanings so I don’t seem like an idiot.

WIP Books

The Haunting of Miss Caroline Marsden

After abruptly losing her partner Rose, Caroline Marsden, an up and coming Director, falls into a deep depression and alcoholism. While trying to keep her public image and fulfilling her lifelong dreams, Caroline begins to experience unusual and paranormal activity in her home. Items going missing, phantom smells and books writing themselves are all things this young celebrity is experiencing in her now lonely home.

The Dead End

Valorie can’t handle her life anymore, low school grades, no friends and a lacking relationship with her family, are just a few reasons written in her suicide note.

Poppy is a newly employed Grim Reaper, sent to collect the soul of a young suicidal girl. But she can’t just stand there and watch someone waste their life and decides to step in.

Poppy guides Valorie through the afterlife, meeting new friends and walking different lands, all to get access to her butterfly, a blessed item made personally for each living creature to view the life they could’ve lead if they stayed alive. Valorie is left to decide if she wants to continue her dull life, or join the entities in The Dead End.

I really hope you enjoy my page and I really will try post here I promise lol thank you!!

#writers and poets #queer writers #writer #poetry #queer poetry #fantasy writing #ghost stories #queer books #new writer #nz writer #introducing post