lola-bs-bl0g

[lola-bs-bl0g]

The other day my aunt, my two cousins and I had an interesting conversation and it went like this. Fyi I am Mexican and black and my cousins are Mexican and white. My aunt;they're mom doesn't speak Spanish (Important to the story)

Me: well you know you are half Mexican

7 yr old and 9 yr old: we are!!!

Me and my aunt look at each other shocked

My aunt: yes your half Mexican

Me (unable to hold it in): look at your mother. You've met nana right? (my nana has a very heavy accent)

9yr old: we didn't notice!

7yr old closer now: what's the other half?

Me about to implode at the impossibly of this question: think about your blue eyed blond haired father and make an educated guess

9 yr old: Mexican

My aunt: face palm

Me cracking up : you think your half Mexican and half Mexican that's not how that works

7 yr old:what is it then?

Me: white, your Mexican and white (now curious beyond belief at what they'll say I ask) so what am I? We know I'm half Mexican because my mom is your mom's sister so what's the other half?

7 yr old stares at me for a moment: White!?!

Me cracking up about to tell him no then

9yr old: no she's Tan

Me still cracking up : yes!!! I'm tan and Mexican This is the best conversation I've ever been apart of.

#funny story #idk how to tag stuff #best stories #kids say the funniest things #kids say the darndest things #kids say the best things #hilarious

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Okay so you know those teacher/school chaperone people that go "um no thank you!" And just keep repeating that when they want kids to stop doing stuff well my aunt came to me the other day saying she hates that because it doesn't really make any sense and all that. Which is a valid argument and okay fair enough I agree but also I don't know why she would tell ME such a thing because the first thing I did as the upstanding 20 yr old I am was teach my 4yr old cousin (her son) how to use the phrase. Which then resulted in hilarity for me and irritation for her you'd just hear "Guy, no don't do that" then "uh no thank you mom no thank you" and she told me later she hopes it comes back to bite me in the ass which yeah it probably will but for now 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

#funny jokes #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk lmao #idk what im doing #smh lol #lol post #funny story #funny post

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Has it ever occurred to anyone that almost all animals are bastards like I don't feel bad when I call a annoying rat dog a "f*cking bastard" because that's what he/she is I mean their parents weren't married.

#idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk lmao #idk what im doing #funny post #funny jokes

[lola-bs-bl0g]

So I was telling my aunt about a meme I saw and thought was funny but she wasn't listening the first time I said it and I got a little irritated so to make sure I had her attention/to kinda annoy her I burped then proceeded to say the first thing I thought of the burp which was " oh that was a good one, felt good deep inside of me" 😥😤🙃🤪 omg I need help I'm so embarrassed she just cracked up laughing at me and said " no more Bridgerton for you"

#idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk lmao #idk what im doing #funnyshit #funny story #funny post #funny #bridgerton

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Me and my uncle were at the grocery store in the sausage aisle and he goes "german sausage is the wurst" and without missing a beat in the most dead pan way I said "if you were just gonna make puns this entire time you shouldn't have brat me" and I have never been prouder 🙃

#very punny #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #funnyshit #idk lmao #idk what im doing #dumb story

[lola-bs-bl0g]

I just choked and my younger brother and my older brother stood there and just argued about not knowing the heimlich maneuver before I was able to breathe again then when I was able to ask them why they didn't help me my little brother just says "it's not cool to just start choking like that" honestly I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment

Edit:

I choked again like 2 days later and my older brother just blinks and goes "seriously it's really inconsiderate to just start choking like that" and apparently that's now how we respond when I choke

#its not even funny #funny post #funny jokes #funny stories #funny #funnyshit #i seriously need help #someone help #send help #i dont deserve this

[lola-bs-bl0g]

I was talking to my aunt and we got an idea for a group of superheroes called the "Unjustified League"

So one of them can see the future but only small things like here's a convo they may have

Someone: "(name) how could you not have seen there was gonna be a level 10 earthquake"

(name): well I just didn't get the feeling but your cat is gonna puke in the toilet in like 5 seconds sorry

Or

(Name): oh was there a volcano eruption today how peculiar, I got a vision of someone named Yolanda spilling her juice on a date so I went to prevent that from happening..... Sorry about the volcano

Also there'd be :

a pyro who can only create flames on the tip of his fingers and only one finger at a time basically just a glorified lighter

A cold person who can only cool down food or chill drinks

And lastly my favorite

A speedster who can only run fast on water. So on any other surface he's basically useless. So unless every fight happens on or near water he's just a man

My aunt suggested he move to California because of all the pools which I thought would be hilarious could you imagine this guy running lightning fast in your pool then meandering slow as shit to your neighbors pool before booking it across only to meander again once his feet touch solid ground

Anyway that's my idea for the unjustified league because there is no justifiable reason for any of them to think they could save the world

#superheores #idk how to tag this #idk anymore #idk man #just my theory #just my thoughts #just my 2 cents #just my random thoughts #just my opinion #just my imagination #just my rambling #funny post #its not even funny #funny stories #funny

[lola-bs-bl0g]

One of the saying people say that has always baffled me is that "respect is earned" which isn't true. Like I've always thought you're born as a living creature that deserves respect. Like that is something everyone is entitled too. Disrespect should be earned. Listening, paying attention, not interrupting people should be the default. Why are we teaching kids and others that you have to do something amazing or glory worthy to have respect it's just not true. I respect everyone in the same way I'm nice to everyone until they give me a damn good reason not to be. It's worked out well for me so far

#just my rant #just my theory #just my thoughts #just my 2 cents #just my random thoughts #just my opinion #just my rambling #idk how to tag this #idk anymore #idk man #idk lmao #idk what to do #idk yet #respect #true words #words of wisdom #inspirational words #my words #motivational words #words of mine

[lola-bs-bl0g]

It's May 1st everyone. Congratulations you've made it to month 5 of the year from hell. Remember April depressions bring May therapy sessions. Stay mentally safe everyone 😊

#its not even funny #funny post #funny #idk anymore #idk man #idk how to tag this #idk idk #idk lmao #idk lol #idk yet #im bored #staysafe #congratulations

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Do you ever just think about the stories someone never had the chance to tell

Like people who had a crazier time than van Gogh, that came up with crazier/better shit than Shakespeare, that could have waged a better war than George Washington, someone that made Einstein look like an idiot but we'll just never know because they didn't share it

They locked themselves up and decided they didn't need the world to know

even though the world needed to know

Idk it to late and my brain is on a hamster wheel 

#i should be asleep #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk what im doing #idk lmao #just a random thought #just my random thoughts #random #late nite #words of wisdom #true words #words of mine #lol #lol post #sorry lol #idk lol

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Do you ever just think about how like everyone's life is just as fucking complex as yours.

And like in your story you're the main character but in everyone else's your just a side character but like you're not the same type of side character for everyone

Like to some people you're a enemy but to others you're the reason their even alive 

Like your always Mario in your story but like occasionally you're luigi or a fucking mushroom in other people's story 

Maybe on special occasions you're someone princess peach or Bowser

Like wtf maybe sometimes you're a sunflower that makes them shoot fire balls 

Life's crazy and my brain is still going 

#i should be asleep #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk what im doing #idk lmao #idk anymore #just my random thoughts #random #just a random thought #im weird #words of wisdom #true words

[lola-bs-bl0g]

Why do we always want what we can't have or whatever 

Like if we lived in the clouds we'd long for life on Earth 

If we touched the sun we cry for the moon 

We always want stuff but once we get it 

It's not enough 

Is humanities unquenchable thirst for knowledge a curse that was unleashed by Eve biting that apple 

Maybe that's the real punishment 

Never knowing contentment 

Having the knowledge we gain kill us 

Never knowing when knowing is enough 

God's a sneaky bastard 

He gave us a dangerous life threatening need for knowledge 

Then trapped us in a universe of mystery

#just a random thought #just my random thoughts #random #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk what im doing #idk lmao #idk anymore #maybe idk #but idk #i should be asleep #smh lol #idk lol #lol post #just my thoughts #just a thought #just saying #words of wisdom

[lola-bs-bl0g]

I was like 15 and I was in a psychiatric hospital. We had a fire extinguisher on the unit hallway in a LOCKED case (this is a very important detail) One of the other patients there was telling a story about how a kid had popped open and sprayed the  fire extinguisher at another hospital and I wasn't really impressed. The girl noticed and was daring me to do it then, if I thought it's was that easy. Honestly my life was boring and I had ABSOLUTELY  nothing to lose. So I snuck a pencil and got to work on the case. Just as I had got it open a nurse noticed and like charged at me. I wasn't really gonna pull the pin at first but it felt like a challenge so me and the nurse start scuffling over the extinguisher and I pull the pin. Powder everywhere and 20 girls screaming and hollering.it is honestly almost 💯 what I imagine Pompeii was like without the lava of course. I kinda was caught up in the adrenaline rush by the time 2 workers had hauled me to my room so all I could do was laugh. Then when they gave me calm down pills and thought I was subdued, I ran straight out the door and out another door into an empty nook kinda but they found me and everyone on my unit had to sleep in the gym and i thought it was all hilarious until of course they held me down and gave me a shot in my arm

But long story short I am on the never come back list at a hospital in NC

#idk lmao #spilled words #story ideas #short story #story time #my story #storyofthestreet #dumb story #storytelling #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk what im doing #maybe idk #just my opinion #just my bullshit #just my thoughts #funny stories #funny #funny post #its not even funny

[lola-bs-bl0g]

All these people who haven't talked to me in years need to slide the hell out my DMs if I wasn't good enough before quarantine you definitely aren't good enough now BYE

#quarantine #idk tbh #me tbh #fuck you #fucked up #fuckcorona #fuck them #idk honestly #idk how to tag stuff #idk what im doing #idk lmao #but idk #just my opinion #just my bullshit #just my thoughts #just a thought #just saying #get out

[lola-bs-bl0g]

I've come to the conclusion that I am not crazy I'm an excentric billionaire that hasn't made my billions yet

#words of wisdom #the truth #idk honestly #just a random thought #ifk #idk how to tag stuff #but idk #idk what im doing #idk lmao #excentricos

[lola-bs-bl0g]

So i got a Ticket to see Louis Tomlinson for my birthday. I just bought it today because I figured the universe wants me to go because 1. it's on my birthday and 2. only 40mins from my house. This Coronavirus shit better be done with by July 21 because I swear if that shit gets cancelled i seriously might fuckin lose it. I've been waiting to hear his fookin accent in person since I was 12 and I will not let no dumbass wannabe flu ruin this for me

#louis tomlinson #louis tommo #concert #coronavirus #just saying #thats all #just my opinion #just my bullshit #just my rant #just my 2 cents

[lola-bs-bl0g]

i’m 100% uploading this because i can’t find it on youtube or in the tracked tags and i wanted to reference it in a fic and it’s so ~~unknown~~ that i feel like i’ll probably need to link to a listenable version somewhere in the notes whoops