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mariposainthemoonlight · 11 days

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mariposainthemoonlight · 12 days

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"It's not fair. I would do anything. Why does it have to be the one thing I can't change about myself?"

Heartbreak High have done it again. Ca$h Piggott is the most beautiful asexual representation. I have never related to anything more. He is trying so hard, but he's staying true to who he is.

And that is so important to see.

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mariposainthemoonlight · 12 days

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CA$H PIGGOTT.

I need to talk about Cash Piggott and how important his character is to the asexual community.

I absolutely adore the fact that Cash calls people out on their acephobia and never, ever apologises for who he is. He doesn't think he's broken.

In season one, we see Darren say "you know what, I think there's something really fucking wrong with you, Cash," and Cash immediately, with no hesitation, screams "well fuck you then".

In season two, we see Dusty say that he's being selfish asking Darren to give up sex and he immediately stands up and says "fuck this" because he knows he doesn't have to listen to people making him feel bad about his sexuality.

And when he's talking to his nan about it, Cash says "it's not fair, I would do anything, why does it have to be the one thing I can't change about myself?"

In every single one of these scenes, we never see Heartbreak High blame Cash for his sexuality. We never see him apologise to anyone for not feeling sexual attraction, and we never see him feel guilty about it, or try to change who he is.

CA$H recognises that his sexuality might be difficult for people to accept and understand, but he never lets other people make him feel like he's broken, or flawed. And that's so powerful to see.

Because asexual people are not broken. And we can't be fixed. And we are not being selfish for putting in boundaries.

I absolutely adore Douglas Piggott. He means the world to me, and this representation is so, so important.

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mariposainthemoonlight · 3 months

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My LGBT+ Headcanons for One Of Us Are Lying (the tv show):

Addy (she/her) - pansexual

Janae (they/she/he (canon)) - genderfluid lesbian (canon) demisexual

Maeve (she/they) - bisexual slightly enby

Nate (he/they) - unlabelled both sexuality and gender dude couldn’t care less

Kris (he/him) - gay (canon)

Cooper (he/him) - gay (canon)

I was SO happy when I saw the genderfluid lesbian rep in this show. I think my mom (homophobe and transphobic) took it well. Meaning she didn’t comment on it which she usually does when she disapproves. Instead she commented on the fact Janae wasn’t ready for sex saying it was a good angle (that an out queer person is still unsure and inexperienced with the thing that people say helps define your sexuality)

#lgbt #asexual #ace #headcanons #lgbt headcanons #queer #gender headcanons #headcanon #queer headcanons #pronoun headcanons

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mariposainthemoonlight · 3 months

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I relate to this so much. I’m ace which makes it hard for me to understand the difference between noticing someone’s attractive and feeling attraction towards them cause people always put it down to “would you want to kiss/have sex with them” but my answer being sex repulsed is always no. I don’t know how to tell if something is romantic attraction or platonic attraction but noticing that person’s aesthetic beauty.

I’m also scared to use the lesbian label because I’m genderfluid and although I’m fine with being seen as a woman (I’m afab) I don’t know if it’s right to use a label that many like to keep between the genders that never align with men so I use the word queer. Which is fine and I guess it’s good to not restrict myself too by using a specific label but i have found so many examples of me experiencing comp het in my life that I don’t think I do like men at all. So staying unrestricted can lead to me experiencing more and more comp het and leaning into it again. I grew up (and am still) in a very homophobic household and so it was very hard for me to accept myself (I’m still struggling) but my friends have helped me to understand myself. However barley any of my friends are ace and I don’t know if any even experience the same thing I do so it’s hard to know who I am if I don’t have anyone to relate to as it makes me feel like I’m (not making it up but) wrong because I stick out so much and the parts of me that I know are ones that most people don’t even believe are real (including some people in the community)

Sorry about the length of this post

When I was 17 and trying to figure out what the heck my sexuality was, the main, if not only, piece of advice I found online, even when I directly asked people, was to go out and experiment sexually with various people and see what gender I enjoyed sex with most. And years later, that still seems to be the advice most of us give when someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with doing that, and if that's what helped you, great. But I do think there's issues with this being the most prevalent advice.

There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to do this, various personal or religious reasons, comfort levels, a lack of interest in sex, not experiencing much or any sexual attraction, or simply being too young for this to be applicable.

I found the advice unhelpful for many of the reasons I just mentioned, and it left me feeling lost on how I was supposed to find out what my orientation was. It also left me with thoughts like how can I be a part of queer culture if I don't want to experiment sexually or be sexually active? Even looking at articles with advice on dating as a queer woman I saw bullet points like "It's okay to have sex on the first date!" there was so much emphasis on how it's okay to have very active sex lives that it left me feeling like if I didn't want that, I'd never be able to have relationships because there'd be an expectation of sex right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, sex positivity is important and we shouldn't shame people for their sex lives. But I feel like we don't don't talk about not being into that kind of thing enough.

I also didn't know at the time that I was asexual, and while I'm sex neutral and open to the idea of sex with a trusted partner, I don't have any desire to seek out sexual relationships. Not experiencing sexual attraction made figuring out my attraction a thousand times harder. I still don't know if I'm bi/pan or lesbian. I do refer to myself as gay or lesbian in some instances, but sometimes I say queer or just shrug and say "I like girls" or "I'm not straight" and some days I'm okay with the vagueness of that, but other days I feel the stress and pressure of having to pick an identity in order to have a community to belong to and be accepted. That stress and pressure doesn't get better when all the advice I can find on the subject just tells me to have sex and that'll clear everything up.

We put a lot of focus on finding out exactly "what" you are. And I don't think sex is the best way to do that. Lots of people have varying interest in sexual or physical intimacy, not just queers. My cishet friend told me she got a boyfriend but she wasn't entirely sure if what she was feeling was romantic, and that the idea of kissing made her uncomfortable. She doesn't identify as ace or aro, and she shouldn't have to. People can have a lack of interest in these things without a lack of attraction.

Another issue with this advice is that sexual and romantic attraction doesn't always line up for everyone. You may enjoy sex with all genders, but find you only have a desire to date one. So sexual experimenting wouldn't necessarily answer the question for you. Orientation is really complicated. I did mostly consider myself lesbian, but I occasionally find men aesthetically attractive, and I'm honestly starting to wonder if I'm actually bi but still feel uncomfortable using the term.

All this needlessly long and ramble-y text to say, this advice is simply useless to a lot of people. And while I can't speak personally for this part, I'd bet at least some people who enjoy sexual experimentation still weren't sure of their orientation at the end of it. This advice shouldn't be presented as the one size fits all solution.

If you're uncomfortable or uninterested in figuring out your identity this way, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with not knowing. You don't have to know right now, or ever if you'd prefer that. It's okay to use vague terms. It's also okay to use whatever label feels closest even if it's not perfect. And remember, you're not locked into anything. You can always change labels.

There is no right way to determine your orientation. Everyone discovers themself in different ways and at different ages. It's not a race or a checklist. The most important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself and whatever you do to figure yourself out, be safe.

#i'm so sorry this is so long #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lesbian #asexual #nonbinary #genderfluid #ace problems #ace #asexual thoughts

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mariposainthemoonlight · 3 months

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This post ate

It’s the Arianators thinking they ate with the “yes, and?” when people bring up the fact about her being a proud home wrecker like even the song didn’t eat, but yk who’s homewrecker song did? Marina! It also helps that her Homewrecker is satire🥰

#marina #marina and the diamonds #electra heart

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mariposainthemoonlight · 3 months

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Haven’t been on here for a while. If anyone has any headcanon requests or anything to talk about then feel free to ask :)

#i’m back #lgbt #headcanons #lgbt headcanons #queer headcanons #sexuality headcanons #gender headcanons #pronoun headcanons #headcanon #asexual #ace #queer

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mariposainthemoonlight · 4 months

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i always try to shove myself into a "normalized" box. to be just one gender. to be something tangible to the people around me. because, the one time i tried to admit my genderfluidity, i was laughed at. i was asked, "what? do you want to make a calendar of what to call you?" that shame lasted. it's been about 5 years since then. i use labels that are lies, i pretend to like my body, i take other's validation as a reason not to have my own autonomy.

we're not a freakshow. we're not here to be normal for you. we're here because we simply just exist. our gender isn't "your problem." our gender is our gender and, if you're confused about it, get onto google and research it. we are going to keep existing. we aren't just a fad. even if you don't understand why we're this way, just address us how we'd like to be addressed and quit being a loudmouth.

to everyone else here with similar feelings, regardless of if you're multigendered or not, you're completely valid and deserving of love too <3 everyone deserves to be seen for who they are

.

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mariposainthemoonlight · 4 months

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trying to put a pin in my pronouns as a genderfluid person (AFAB) has been really confusing but i think i might have finally figured out how to put it into words

I like all pronouns. I like them to be used interchangeably and weirdly and confusingly. "They're a pretty boy," "He's my girlfriend," etc. But I leave my pronouns as they/he because I know that people who call me "she" are perceiving me as a girl.

I want people to call me "she" in the way we call crowley and azi "she." Like, oh, look at this gender-shaped being. We acknowledge they are very gender and so we shall use any and all pronouns because they are so gender. - When we say "she" we know she's not a girl. When we say "he" we know he's not a boy. Maybe because she's both. Maybe because he's neither. That's all I want, to be perceived as truly and genuinely gender. All of them, none of them.

But I can't have that because I'm AFAB.

And that's kind of sad to think about.

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mariposainthemoonlight · 8 months

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Why is uk weather so unhinged? It’s autumn, we want Gilmore Girls and Evermore with a mug of hot coco or pumpkin spice latte not a horribly humid extent of summer.

#uk weather #autumn #Gilmore girls #evermore #hot coco #pumpkin spice latte #side note #didn’t it also snow in March once

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mariposainthemoonlight · 8 months

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Who else cried to Logical and Teenage Dream?

May I just say as a Teenage Dream person, I did also cry to Matilda and I know your pain.

And as a Logical person, I am also a Movies person so I know your pain too.

#olivia rodrigo #guts album #guts olivia rodrigo #logical #teenage dream #harry styles #matilda harry styles #conan gray #movies conan gray #relatable

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mariposainthemoonlight · 8 months

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As an apothisexual all I want to see on my tumblr feed is cute pictures of different aesthetics, incorrect quotes with my fav characters/shows, cute/interesting short/mini fics about characters I like/ship, lgbt pride posts, animals, art and anything to do with music.

To the people that make these posts, please make more ily.