nagichi-boop

[nagichi-boop]

So assuming that Sonic 3 will at least partially follow the plot line of Sonic Adventure 2, here are some of my thoughts/predictions about things that will happen in the movie to fit Shadow’s lore into the movie universe;

• In regards to Shadow’s motivation for disliking Sonic, either (a) he resents him for having a human family while his was lost, (b) he thinks Sonic and his friends are stupid for getting close to humans as they are ‘inferior’, or (c) he doesn’t really care about any of that, but just that Sonic gets in his way. • Similar-ish to the last point, but I want Shadow to come to respect the Wachowski’s. Maybe not fully like them, but at least acknowledge they are good people. Whether that happens gradually or after he gets his real memory of Maria’s wish back, I want him to soften a little to them.

• I don’t think Shadow will be adopted into the Wachowski family. Not because they don’t want him, but rather I think he will become a free spirit, similar to how he is in Sonic 06.

• Although in SA2 Amy is the one to talk Shadow into helping stop the ARK hitting earth, I think Sonic could work well as the one to talk him down. He lost family, but he found a new one. He could convince Shadow that not all of humanity is evil. That, or maybe even Tom could talk to him? Who knows. I think Amy would also be a great option to match what happens in the games and I’d love to see that moment recreated, but I worry since we have had no word of her actually appearing in Sonic 3. That and I feel like they’d want the moment to be between Shadow and a ‘main’ character instead, especially with Sonic’s backstory being much different in this universe. • I also think it would be kinda cool if Sonic saved Shadow in space instead of him falling to earth. Not only does this avoid potentially rehashing the whole “I forgot again” storyline that Heroes and ShTH covered, but it also might make him more accepting of Sonic as a friend, or at least someone to respect.

• This is very much wishful thinking, but if Rouge and Omega return (either in this movie or in the future), please please PLEASE let them be a trio again, or at the very least friends. I don’t want any of this “Shadow can’t have friends” nonsense. TMOSTH proves how much more likeable he is when he isn’t just edgy and mean.

I think overall, I just really really hope that if Shadow is kept in the series after the third movie, he becomes an anti-hero instead of a villain. I want that version of Shadow back, not the “I’m edgy and I hate everyone” version. We saw a bit of his older self in TMOSTH and Prime (which I need to catch up on), so it gives me a little hope that Shadow in the movie will be more like his old self. And as a side note, I hope he’s like that in Sonic x Shadow Generations. Given its rehashing his backstory, maybe that’s a sign that he will be written to be like his previous characterisation? Who knows. A girl can only dream.

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic 3 #sonic movie 3 #nagichi talks

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A Star That’s Out of Reach (Chapter 9)

[Previous] - [x]

[Masterlist]

It’s been a while since I updated this, huh? I saw the news about Keanu Reeves and it kickstarted another hyperfixation, so I decided now would be a good time to try and get at least a few chapters out. I can’t say my posting for this fic (or any fic) will ever be fully consistent though, sorry. ^^;;

Anyways, hope you enjoy~

— x —

Shadow quietly opened the door to the house, his ears drooped and his face pointed to the ground. Much to his dismay, Rouge was still awake and sat on the couch despite it being late. She immediately turned to look at Shadow, seemingly excited about his return, but her disposition shifted as she read Shadow’s body language.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked worriedly, quickly flying over to him. Shadow remained silent and simply shook his head, feeling too emotional to respond verbally. “I see that you may not be up to talk about it. For now, why don’t you join me on the couch?” Shadow nodded compliantly, still refusing to make eye contact. Shadow laid on his side, resting his head against the armrest. Rouge took her seat next to him, occasionally glancing over at him to make sure he was okay. To her discomfort, he simply stared at the screen, showing no intention of falling asleep or moving. After a couple hours had passed, Rouge paused the tv.

“Shadow honey, I am happy to keep the show on, but maybe you should consider resting your eyes while you watch? You’ll wear yourself out if you don’t.” Shadow let out a small grunt and then closed his eyes compliantly, which brought Rouge a bit of comfort. She resumed the program and after checking on Shadow a few times and finding his eyes still closed, she allowed herself to fall asleep too.

Amy opened her eyes as the sun crept into her room. She rubbed her eyes, still incredibly tired from a restless night's sleep. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t get her mind to calm down enough for her to sleep. Sighing defeatedly, she rose from her bed and drowsily wandered to her calendar. Her eyes widened and she read what she had scheduled for the day.

“Oh, that’s right,” Amy spoke to herself. “Silver and Blaze are coming to visit. Given everything that’s been happening, I sort of forgot.” She then stretched her arms out and exhaled again. “Right, I need to get myself ready.” She dressed herself and then headed outside, joining her friends outside Tails’ workshop where they had agreed to meet. They waved her over, then seemed to become uncomfortable as she approached.

“Woah Ames, are you okay?” Sonic asked worriedly.

“Of course I am! Why?” Amy panicked a little. “Is something wrong with my outfit?”

“No, it’s not that,” Tails interjected. “It’s just…uhm…”

“You look suuuper tired,” Knuckles added tactlessly, warranting an angry stare from both Sonic and Tails. “What? Am I wrong?”

Amy became flustered and shifted nervously in place, trying to decide what to do. “L-let me go back and change and-” Before Amy could even finish her thought, Silver and Blaze arrived in unison.

“Hey guys,” Silver called out, waving enthusiastically. Amy panicked and turned the other way, but then realised Blaze had come from that way.

“Hello everyone,” Blaze greeted politely. She almost immediately noticed that Amy was worried about something, then took note of her tired appearance. She decided, however, not to comment on it for the time being.

“It’s so good to see you both again,” Sonic beamed, high-fiving Silver as he approached. “How have you been?”

“Busy,” Blaze sighed. “I’ve been looking forward to this little vacation.”

“Pretty good on my end,” Silver added. “Though as much as I love the peace, I will admit I’ve been rather restless because of it. I’m happy for the distraction.”

“Is that your way of saying you want me to cause some future-altering disaster for you to help me fix?” Sonic teased, jabbing Silver gently with his elbow.

“I don’t feel like I can answer that without landing myself in hot water,” Silver replied anxiously, taking Sonic a little too seriously. The group laughed cheerily at this exchange, all energised by each others’ company.

“I’m starving,” Sonic then continued. “Let’s go get some breakfast.”

Blaze smirked as she sceptically placed her hands on her hips. “I hope by that you don’t mean chilli dogs.” Sonic looked away and whistled, to which Blaze softly chuckled in amusement.

“Don’t worry,” Tails chimed in. “When Vanilla heard you two were coming, she offered to host breakfast for us. I’m sure Cream will be excited to see you again, Blaze!”

“Well then,” Blaze spoke as she began to lead the group. “Let’s get going!”

The group of them made their way to Vanilla’s house, everyone chattering away except for Amy, who lagged behind the group a little. Blaze looked over her shoulder, observing the vacant expression on her face. Blaze slowed her pace to match Amy’s, now walking alongside her.

“Is everything okay, Amy?” she asked softly. Amy took a moment to respond, then appeared more attentive.

“Oh...y-yeah, I’m okay,” Amy stuttered in reply, her voice lacking conviction. Blaze raised a sceptical eyebrow at her. “I just didn’t sleep very well, that’s all,” she confessed due to nerves.

“Is there a particular reason for that?” Blaze enquired, causing Amy to tense up a little.

“No no, nothing!” Amy insisted, flailing her arms. She noticed Blaze staring at her doubtfully, then sighed defeatedly.

“If you insist,” Blaze conceded. “But I’m here to listen if and when you decide you would like to talk about it.”

Amy smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”

The group eventually made there way to Vanilla’s. Cream excitedly greeted Blaze with a hug, which was hesitantly but warmly reciprocated. They then all made their way into the house and enjoyed eating breakfast together, with Blaze, who was sat next to Amy, occasionally nudging Amy back to consciousness as she drifted in and out of deep thought. After some time, the group left the house, content from their fill of food.

“Man, I could really use a nap right about now,” Sonic spoke as he stretched out.

Blaze’s ear twitched as an idea formed in her mind. “Why don’t we take an hour to rest and then meet up later?” she suggested, which surprised the rest of the group. “No point in us doing anything heavy after such a large meal.” The group looked at one another then nodded in agreement with the plan. Blaze then looked over at Amy, which startled the pink hedgehog. “Amy, perhaps I can come over and help you set up for my stay tonight?” Blaze asked, hoping Amy would pick up on her ulterior motive. Amy stared blankly for a moment, then realised what Blaze meant.

“Oh sure, that’s a good idea!” Amy replied, mustering as much enthusiasm as she could.

“Can I come too?” Silver asked, waving his arm energetically. Blaze glared at him, causing him to flinch a little.

“I don’t mind,” Amy assured, giving Blaze a comforting look. “Did you want to spend your first night with Blaze and I?”

Silver beamed. “Yeah, that would be awesome!”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Blaze reiterated, unsure of Amy’s thought process.

Amy placed a hand on Blaze’s shoulder. “It’s fine, I honestly don’t mind.”

“I actually have something I need to work on, so I’ll catch up with you all later,” Tails announced before turning and flying away, waving as he left.

“That settles that then,” Sonic sighed contently, then let out a yawn. “Smell ya later.” Sonic then dashed away in an instant.

“I’ll go check on the Master Emerald,” Knuckles stated before he excused himself.

“Well, I guess we should go too, then,” Amy thought aloud. “Did you guys bring any gear with you?” Blaze and Silver looked at one another, then shook their heads.

“I apologise, Amy, but this is actually my first slumber party,” Blaze confessed. “Being a princess doesn’t exactly accommodate this sort of tradition.”

“I’m usually on my own,” Silver followed up, scratching the back of his head nervously. “This is the first time I’ve ever been invited to one.”

“That’s okay,” Amy spoke. “I actually somewhat expected this, so I got some spares for you. Though I will admit, I was expecting Silver to sleep over with Sonic and the others.”

Silver tilted his head. “Is there a reason you don’t want me there?”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” Amy panicked. “It’s just…unexpected. I wasn’t sure you’d want to sleep over with a couple of girls.”

Silver’s confused expression grew. “I still don’t get it.”

“Let’s just leave it at that,” Blaze suggested, keen to move along. “Amy, lead the way.”

The three of them made their way to Amy’s house, casually chattering along the way. They quickly arrived, then began to set up for later. Silver moved the furniture with ease using his telekinesis, following Amy’s instruction. Blaze rolled out the sleeping bags next to each other, placing a pillow at the head of each one. Once they’d finished, they all sat on the now moved couch.

“So,” Blaze spoke up. “Care to explain what kept you up last night?”

Amy’s cheek tinted red, then looked at Silver and Blaze, who were sat next to each other. “You promise not to tell anyone about this?”

“Of course not,” Silver immediately promised. “An important component to friendship is trust, right?” Silver’s expression shifted to one of sincerity and keen interest. “I know I may not seem like it, but I’m very good at keeping secrets.”

“You have my word that what is spoken of here shall not be uttered again,” Blaze assured. “Please speak your mind with confidence.”

Amy looked away, hesitating anxiously. “I think there’s someone that I like,” she confessed, twirling her fingers around one another.

“Do you mean Sonic?” Silver asked curiously, to which Amy shook her head.

“Well, I mean,” she stammered. “I do like Sonic, but I confessed to him a while ago.” Amy’s ears drooped a little. “He rejected me.” Blaze and Silver began to look concerned.

“I’m so sorry, Amy,” Blaze comforted.

Amy shook her head again and smiled. “It’s fine. I was anticipating it anyway.” She looked up sombrely. “This isn’t about him, anyway.” This peaked both Blaze and Silver’s curiosity.

“Who is it then?” Silver asked with blunt curiosity, though it was without a hint of malice.

“I’m…not comfortable saying,” Amy admitted as her face became redder. “It makes no sense.”

“Come on, we won’t judge!”

“Silver,” Blaze snapped sternly, causing Silver to recoil a little. She then sighed. “The ‘who’ isn’t what’s important.”

“Oh, you’re right,” Silver acknowledged, realising his misstep. “Sorry Amy. Please continue!”

“It’s just,” Amy continued. “He is such a nice guy despite what other people think. I have only ever seen him as a friend up until now.” Amy leaned forward in her seat, resting her chin in her hands. “But as soon as he confessed to me, I felt so overwhelmed. I was so sure I only viewed him platonically, but now…now I’m not so sure.”

“Is there something wrong with liking this person?” Silver asked genuinely.

“Not necessarily,” Amy answered. “I guess it’s just a bit…strange, from an outside perspective at least. I doubt he would be the first person you’d think of when you imagine someone compatible with me.” Blaze had a sudden look of realisation, but quickly stifled it.

“Just because something is unconventional, that doesn’t necessarily make it wrong,” Blaze commented.

“I know. I guess I’m just worried what would happen if people found out about us.”

“But they’re your feelings, right?” Silver noted. “It doesn’t really matter what other people think.”

“It matters to me!” Amy snapped accidentally, quickly covering her mouth in shock. She then looked at the ground, seemingly conflicted. “I get what you’re saying, I’m just worried what it would mean for everyone if we ever dated.” Silver seemed deep in thought, then suddenly lit up.

“Wait, is it-” Silver started, but was interrupted as Blaze made a cutting gesture at her throat. “Uhm, what I mean is, wouldn’t your friends want to support you regardless of who it is? Besides, knowing you, I’m sure there’s a very strong reason who liking this person.”

Amy remained silent for a moment, twirling her thumbs around each other. “I guess they’d be supportive, even if it takes some time. And this person is remarkably sweet, despite their cold exterior. I guess I’m just worried. It all feels so sudden.”

“You don’t have to rush into anything, right?” Blaze pointed out. “Should you both decide to date, there’s no reason that you have to rush the relationship. You can take it at your own pace. You don’t even have to label your relationship as romantic at first if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Amy acknowledged. “I guess I’m also worried that I might hurt him. I know he’s strong, but deep down I know he has a delicate heart.”

“I’m sure he feels the same way,” Blaze spoke softly. “But that’s something that you’ll only find out if you talk to him. The fact he even confessed to you shows how much he cares about you. I doubt he’d want to do anything to hurt you, just as much as you don’t want to hurt him.”

“Everyone hurts their friends at some point, right?” Silver noted. “No one’s perfect.”

Amy chuckled a little. “It’s funny. I remember saying something similar to him once before.” Amy took a deep breath. “I guess I really should talk to him. But not tonight – tonight is about you guys.”

“By all means, don’t hold back on seeing him on our accounts,” Blaze assured. “Equally though, please take your time. I want you to be comfortable in your decision.”

“I’m sure Shadow will understand and accept your choice either way,” Silver added. “I’m sure he just wants to be by your side in whatever capacity he can.”

Amy smiled. “Thank you both. Speaking to you both has been very helpful.” Amy’s eyes widened and she suddenly sprung up, her face burning red. “W-wait, how did you know it was Shadow?”

“Oops,” Silver croaked nervously.

“Apologies, Amy,” Blaze spoke up, raising her hand. “I also deduced who it was.” Amy stood stunned for a moment, then dived onto the couch face first, hiding her face and kicking her legs restlessly as she squealed from embarrassment.

“I-if its any consolation,” Silver nervously stuttered. “I think Shadow is an amazing person, so I don’t blame you for wanting to date him!” Instead of comforting Amy like he’d hope, he only furthered Amy’s embarrassment. Blaze glanced at the clock, hoping to find a way to bail both of her friends out of this uncomfortable situation, when she noticed the time.

“Oh, it appears our time is up,” she announced, causing the both of them to look at the clock as well. She then smiled warmly at the two of them. “Shall we meet up with the others?” Silver hopped out of the seat excitedly.

“I’m ready!”

Blaze stood up, then turned and offered her hand to Amy. The pink hedgehog sighed, then smiled and took her hand and was lifted onto her feet.

“Let’s go and have some fun, shall we?” Blaze suggested, hoping to ease Amy’s stress.

“Okay,” Amy responded. “Let’s do this!”

#shadow #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #shadamy #silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #tails the fox #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #rouge the bat #sonic fanfic #nagichi writes

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Another day, another chance for my family to talk down about me because I don’t work.

#I’m so sick and tired of this #I’d prefer they just murder me instead of treating me like an emotional punching bag #I’m apparently not allowed to have holidays because I don’t work #and unless I’m not doing something productive (eg cleaning the house) every second of a day I’ve actually not been productive at all #not sure if these tags are appropriate but yolo > #emotional abuse #emotional neglect #toxic family #toxic parents #cptsd #c-ptsd #chronic illness #chronically ill #disabled #physically disabled #mentally disabled #vent #nagichi talks

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I’m not sure if this is something anyone else has picked up on, but after watching reactions to Itsuomi’s confession to Yuki, a lot of people got confused as to why she kept asking why Itsuomi even wanted to date her. I want to offer my two cents, but please note that there’s a degree of projection in my opinion, so maybe y'all will have a different viewpoint. As another disclaimer, I haven’t read the manga (yet!!), so my assessment of the characters is based on episodes 1-9 of the anime.

Yuki, for the most part, is a somewhat self-assured character. She’s a little insecure, but she also isn’t afraid to take chances on developing her relationship with Itsuomi. But she has also never experienced a romantic relationship with anyone. On top of that, she has grown up only being able to talk to very few people. One of the only people she could talk to, Oushi, has only used sign language to be mean to her. Sure, maybe on the outside it doesn’t get to her. But if you hear negative thoughts over and over throughout your life, it can influence you subtly.

If you’ll indulge me for a moment, I’d like to share my experiences briefly so that hopefully my viewpoints on Yuki’s behaviour makes sense. I myself am disabled. I’m not deaf, but I am mentally and physically disabled. As it stands right now, I feel I am growing to accept myself more and I’m working on treating myself with more kindness. However, when I think about someone liking me romantically, my biggest fear is that they won’t be able to tolerate my disabilities. It affects my communication, my independence, my tolerance for activity, among other things. In my mind, there are so many better and easier options than me. Even before I watched this anime, I always imagined that if someone I liked confessed to me, I’d be compelled to ask them why, not because I doubted the person being genuine, but because I am clouded by my own negative self-perception.

Going back to Yuki, I can totally see her having a similar line of thought. She views Itsuomi as someone who is popular; she even makes a comment about how anyone would fall for him if they were treated the way he treated her, since she assumed his treatment of her wasn’t special. She also, multiple times, becomes insecure about his relationship with Emma, despite being assured by multiple people (including Itsuomi) that they aren’t romantically involved. And despite doing so much that would indicate his affection for Yuki - the gentle way he talks to her, the fact he repeatedly wraps his arm around her, pats her head, smiles at her (despite being an otherwise inexpressive person) and literally kisses her hand - she still doesn’t realise that maybe her feelings are reciprocated. Why? Because of her own self-doubt.

When she asks Itsuomi why he wants to date her, I don’t think she is confused by what he means. I think there’s a part of her that can’t believe why, out of everyone he has met, he would choose her specifically. She needed Itsuomi to convince her that he genuinely wanted to be with her. Even after they start dating, she still needs to clarify with Rin that it’s okay for her to call him her boyfriend. These things are perhaps givens, but she is an anxious person by nature, so of course she struggles a little to understand the ‘rules’ of being in a relationship are.

Anyways uhh, thanks for reading this ramble! Let me know what y'all think. There’s a chance this won’t be the last post about A Sign of Affection that I make. I want to talk about my thoughts on Itsuomi (and maybe Oushi) in more depth at some point, but I’d like to catch up on the manga first.

#yuki itose #itose yuki #itsuomi nagi #nagi itsuomi #itsuomi x yuki #yuki x itsuomi #a sign of affection #yubisaki to renren #anime #long post #nagichi talks

[nagichi-boop]

I love how A Sign of Affection portrays Oushi's ableism. It's not in-your-face like people seem to think ableism is, it's subtler; a side-effect of systematic ableism and the patriarchy.

He thinks all deaf people should go somewhere out of the way to be "safe", doesn't understand why Yuki would go to college when she's deaf, assumes he knows Yuki's situations and relationships better than her, and thinks it's up to him to help and protect her without asking if she needs or even wants it.

Plus, "All he does is say mean things to me in sign"... why learn sign if he's just gonna be a jerk to her with it? You might argue that he's just being "realistic", but to someone who doesn't ask for it, it's being an ass. Not to mention he's incredibly dense and dismissive of how Yuki feels about his actions. HE might think he's being helpful, but it's clear that Yuki doesn't think so, and he either doesn't see it or doesn't care.

It very much reflects the ableism that disabled people experience all the time in the real world and you can REALLY tell who experiences ableism by people's opinions on Oushi because I'm seeing a LOT of people defending his actions, even calling them "romantic". But to people who know what ableism looks like, all we see is possessiveness, controlling, condescending ableism.

I'm curious to see how the series tackles it going forward; and whether they have him grow as a character and or get worse, I hope that more people recognize his actions and opinions for what they are: ableism, and a very accurate depiction of it.

#ashioki oushi #oushi ashioki #a sign of affection #yubisaki to renren #disability #disabled #cw ableism

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It Wasn’t A Joke

February 14th 2024

This sucks sm lol

(Plain text under cut)

He asked me how I view my brother 

I told him we were practically roommates  

He laughed, he found it funny

But it wasn’t a joke. 

She listened as I talked 

I brought up the scarring things I’d seen

I laughed and played it off as silly

But it wasn’t a joke. 

Mother spoke to me in a café

In a moment of spontaneity, she jested;

“You don’t like me”

I smiled…

But it wasn’t a joke. 

I smile for peace,

I smile to be polite,

I smile to make it easier for them,

But it is never a joke. 

I treat my life as a joke. 

It’s easier that way. 

Isn’t that funny?

#trying to properly get into poetry #even if it’s not technical or anything #I guess I just want an outlet #trauma #emotional neglect #poetry #vent #nagichi writes

[nagichi-boop]

So…does having narcolepsy increase your chance of having parasomnias? I have a reoccurring dream that feels so realistic that I genuinely can’t tell if I’m acting out in my sleep while it’s happening. I am seriously begging and hoping that what I experience is just a dream cuz I hate the idea of acting out in my sleep and not having control over it. It also only happens during naps afaik, or at least that I’m aware of. I’m in the process of trying to get my doctor to refer me for a sleep study/MSLT or to a sleep specialist who can do those for me. But now I’m worried that my potential narcolepsy will impact more than just me if in the future I have a bed partner. (I haven’t had one before, but if I’m ever in a relationship, I would want them to know if I do act out in my sleep.)

#I won’t go into specifics about what I mean when I say ‘acting out’ but I feel like some people might guess #I just rly don’t like the idea of doing stuff without my awareness of it #maybe that’s the trauma (tm) but I hate the idea of not being in control of myself #and the idea that it could impact others I care about in the future kills me #narcolepsy #parasomnia #sleep disorder #nagichi talks

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I don't know who needs to hear this but:

-"it only hurts a little" is still pain

-"I can ignore it" is still pain

-"I can cope with/manage it" is still pain

-"it's bearable" is still pain

-"I can push through it" is still pain

-"it doesn't hurt that much" is still pain

-"it doesn't stop me from doing x" is still pain

You don't need to be in agonizing pain to be in pain.

#reminders #chronic pain #chronic illness #disabled #physically disabled

[nagichi-boop]

Trying to remind myself that im allowed to take painkillers even if the pain is "my fault".

A migraine is a result of, not a punishment for forgetting to eat - take the painkillers.

Back pain is a result of, not a punishment for poor posture - take the painkillers.

Sore joints are a result of, not a punishment for overexertion - take the painkillers.

Pain is not a punishment for a mistake. Painkillers are there to ease suffering. There is no glory in misery. There is no virtue in agony.

#reminders #chronic pain #chronic illness #disabled #physically disabled

[nagichi-boop]

have you joined the chronic pain club today? it's not too late!

#relatable #chronic pain #disabled #physically disabled #chronic illness #art #comic

[nagichi-boop]

Old post but I wanna second the grip advice! I recently switched to a bigger phone, and I already knew my old phone caused my pinkie finger a bunch of pain after holding it for too long. I ended up buying a pop socket for my current phone and it works super well for me! Mine is a MagSafe one and I was worried it wouldn’t stay on my phone, but it does! I can literally carry my phone by the pop socket and it will stay put, no issue.

😟😳😳😳

#informative #physical disability #physically disabled #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic pain #arthritis #disability #disabled #long post #nagichi talks

[nagichi-boop]

I posted something on Reddit a few days ago and two people said I should look into ME/CFS. I have in the past, but I ruled it out cuz “I’m not that bad”. I think a part of me also doesn’t want to think I have it because my parents are both really ableist towards people with it (and are already not very agreeable/supportive towards me probably having POTS and they usually downplay/invalidate me when I have a migraine or stomach ache).

One of the people also said I should look into fibromyalgia, but again, I’m like “I hurt all the time but it’s not that bad, so I’m probably fine”. Plus I sort of just blame myself for my pain. I’m just assuming somehow it’s my fault - like bad posture or something. Though the other day I went out and did like 5.5-6 miles of walking and my whole body aches like 4 days after (neck, shoulders, back, arms, knees and legs).

#me/cfs #myalgic encephalomyelitis #chronic fatigue syndrome #fibromyalgia #chronic pain #chronic illness #physically disabled #disabled #vent #nagichi talks

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The love/hate relationship with naptime as a disabled person could fuel the galaxy for millennia

#relatable

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Image text: Considering everyone thinks narcolepsy is randomly just falling over like you're a bag of cement all the time, I find jokes about it extremely distasteful and frankly a huge contributor as to why more people don't get diagnosed.

Take it from someone whose had symptoms since I was 10 but couldn't get diagnosed until I was 24 because every healthcare professional wanted to blame something else or just straight up say "well you aren't sleeping while you're driving so why bother?".

WHAT NARCOLEPSY CAN BE (because everyone's symptoms are slightly different):

1. Suddenly feeling a huge, powerful wave of fatigue out of the blue

2. EXTREMELY vivid and detailed dreams

3. Wanting to sleep 10+ hours a day when there's no other reasonable explanation (poor vitamins ruled out, poor thyroid ruled out, etc.)

4. Unable to concentrate on work or school because of the mental fatigue

5. Feeling your muscles physically hurt around your eyes

6. Wanting to doze off at very inappropriate times (driving, at a social party, at a restaurant, etc.)

7. Feeling trapped between being fully awake and fully asleep (known as sleep paralysis) which can be terrifying depending on the circumstances of the dream

We aren't just randomly falling over in public or falling face first into our food. This severe level of narcolepsy is extremely rare in the real world.

#informative #narcolepsy #sleep disorder #hidden disability #invisible disability

[nagichi-boop]

a lot of people think narcolepsy is just ‘being sleepy’ or even ‘being lazy’ but it’s so much more than that. symptoms of narcolepsy include:

extremely intense, vivid dreams/nightmares. narcolepsy is defined as a disorder in which most of, if not all of your sleep is REM sleep. this is what causes daytime sleepiness; your body is NOT RESTING CORRECTLY and is physically incapable of doing so. we have little, if any deep sleep.

sleep paralysis and hallucinations.

cataplexy, found in type 1 narcoleptics. cataplexy is very similar to a seizure, though it is not classified as one. episodes of cataplexy are usually (but not always) brought on by strong emotions, and cause you to lose control of different parts of your body, ranging from muscle limpness to full on collapse.

EDS, or excessive daytime sleepiness. often times, narcoleptics will suffer from something called a sleep attack, where they fall asleep uncontrollably. this can happen while working, driving, or doing hobbies.

increased risk of all cancers and other (yes, narcolepsy is suspected to be an autoimmune disease!) autoimmune diseases, as well as an increased rate of mental health issues. ADHD, diabetes, heart disease, and depression are often co-morbid with narcolepsy. tying in with this, we have an increased rate of suicide.

insomnia due to the nature of extremely fragmented and disrupted sleep. intense and vivid nightmares can often make WANTING to go to sleep difficult as well. pretty much any other sleep disorder can be co-morbid with narcolepsy.

decreased cognitive function. memory issues are common in people with narcolepsy; even a mild case of narcolepsy can be compared to going 48-72 hours without sleep in a normal person…except its every day.

extremely poor quality of life. [1] [2]

not a symptom, but it often takes narcoleptics several years to be diagnosed w this disability; it is EXTREMELY under-diagnosed, and testing and treatment are very expensive even with insurance.

there is no cure for narcolepsy, only treatments. the only treatments we currently have are various stimulants (adderall, modafinil, ritalin, etc) or just straight up GHB. many people cannot tolerate these medicines, making treatment even more difficult.

(keep in mind that i am writing this post from an american perspective; i know treatment is often more accessible in some ways in other countries, though i also know it can be worse/harder in different ways too.)

#informative #narcolepsy #sleep disorder #hidden disability #invisible disability

[nagichi-boop]

Becoming self aware is really annoying when you’re not thinking or feeling rationally in a situation. I’ll know my response is disproportionate to a situation, but that just makes me feel even worse and I become mad at myself for it.

#bpd #eupd #borderline personality disorder #emotionally unstable personality disorder #I’m sure this applies to other things but I’m tired and idk what to tag #vent #nagichi talks

[nagichi-boop]

Oh cool, the UK is gonna force disabled and mentally ill people to work or they’ll stop paying them benefits. Ahaha…ah…kill me.

#I’m not okay lol #disabled #mentally disabled #physically disabled #vent #nagichi talks