obsessive--owl

[obsessive--owl]

I am so proud of you, I hope you’re doing okay right now. Recovery is a hard thing, any glimmer of progress is a tremendous feat!!!!!

thank you so so so much

#:) #i am doing better atm #sugarspicesnapper

[obsessive--owl]

i just almost killed myself 😰

#i was about 3 seconds away from unconsciousness #and some tiny unexplainable capsule of hope stopped me #so i think this will be the last post i ever make on this blog #because i have discovered that i have hope #and a motivation to live #and that i will someday be happy #unfollow me if you call me a fake for this #recovery is.... #believe it or not......not bad #😳 #its hard itll be so so hard #and long #and exhausting #but deep down i think it can be accomplished #even if i am jealous of those who dont have to deal with it along the way #:D #gn!!

[obsessive--owl]

oh for the record im still alive

#i just haven't been active on here #follow my main @imaginawy if you want any sort of content from me at all

[obsessive--owl]

who am i

[obsessive--owl]

9/23/18

#but I've been coping #my post #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallytraumatized #trauma #actuallydissociative #dissociation #actuallyabused #abuse #ocd #actuallyocd #actuallydpdr #im just tagging this with all of my mental illnesses bc this is #just a congregation of all of em in this picture #actuallybipolar #bipolar #suicide / #depression #im just tired

[obsessive--owl]

oh shit! 4,000 followers i don’t deserve this sknfakjsdfndsf

#no but seriously thank y'all #i hope this blog has helped you guys even if i don't post a lot anymore

[obsessive--owl]

update: broke my red pen

#AAAAAA #i have another one but the one i was using was that one with multiple different colors #:(

[obsessive--owl]

i know when people say “draw all over your arm!! :) it will keep you from self-harming!!11!!” it sounds like bullshit but i just scribbled all over my arms with red pens and it actually satisfied my urge temporarily pretty well. i just have one next to my bed so when i want to cut i scribble in the place i want to. i probably press down harder than i should but a little sting satisfies the need for a little bit of pain and that’s better than cutting

#self harm / #cutting / #look at me #trying new coping skills #2018 mood #big tw though #but please try it the next time you have an urge #you can press as hard as you want but try to not break the skin too much #red works best

[obsessive--owl]

im contaminated !!

#actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallytraumatized #trauma #actuallydissociative #dissociation #actuallyabused #abuse #actuallyptsd #ptsd #self harm / #unreality / #vent art #flashbacks #csa #cocsa

[obsessive--owl]

#here we go babey! #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallyabused #abuse #actuallyparanoid #paranoia #actuallydissociative #dissociation #actuallytraumatized #trauma #depression #suicide /

[obsessive--owl]

oh my god i want to kill myself

#i want to stop existing #i won't have to feel anything when I'm gone #if I'm gone then i cant regret killing myself #if I'm gone maybe ill break out of this simulation #maybe I'm in a coma #BIG TW #how would i do it? #have a few ideas #please don't try and talk to me #i need to be alone with myself right now

[obsessive--owl]

#different font #don't know what got into me on this traumatic evening #csa #cocsa #actuallytraumatized #trauma #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallyabused #abuse #actuallydissociative #dissociation #vent post #mine

[obsessive--owl]

journal entry 7/26/18

#caption ok to delete #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallytraumatized #trauma #actuallyabused #abuse #actuallyocd #ocd #actuallydissociative #dissociation #depression #anxiety #vent art #my post #traditional art #I'm very shaky today

[obsessive--owl]

☹

#my post #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #actuallytraumatized #trauma #actuallydissociative #dissociation #depression #actuallyabused #abuse #vent post #dpdr #derealization #depersonalization #unreality #actuallydpdr #i don't know what else to tag this #my edit

[obsessive--owl]

my therapist: so, how have you been feeling lately?

my dissociative ass:

#sorry i haven't been active but here's a meme

[obsessive--owl]

i’m just sitting out here on the beach, aggressively dissociating

#it be like that sometimes

[obsessive--owl]

i can’t feel anything

#i have no energy #i can barely move #can barely stand