#‘oh shit it sucks that we have all this organizations. we need to make one to unite them all!’ total organizations: +1

[applestorms]

clawed my way through (some of) the epilogues and hs^2 again for dirkjake crumbs and i think there is a Genuine place for ultimate jake to fit into canon (or at the very least, lord jake english) since meat timeline jake never actually shows up visually in hs^2 and his final appearance in that timeline (minus a phone call or something w/ roxy? or was it kanaya fuck) is giving ult. dirk his spaceship and then proclaiming his undying love while desperately trying to get dirk to let him join him, to which dirk responds that he’ll “never let [jake] break [his] heart again” (ch39). agony.

two interesting things about the end of his arc in meat actually: for one thing, it’s kinda implied that along with giving dirk a spaceship, he also gave dave/karkat/roxy/kanaya/etc a spaceship to chase after him, so he’s at least taken some action to try to stop him. again though, we never see him after that point so like. the idea that he could just hope himself into becoming an ultimate self in the background is actually kind of a possibility?? like while the others try to chase dirk down, jake is figuring out how to brute force himself into ascension as a backup plan. second thing, dirk is very snarky in the narration about the fact that this dramatic goodbye he’s giving jake is the last time he’ll ever get to see him (jake see dirk, i mean) but ult. dirk also seems to lack power against alt. calliope when they fight over the narrative so jake ascending would actually pose a serious threat and might be able to override that, assuming dirk’s power over the narrative extends that far in the first place (thinking about that post talking about how narration is also a reflection of characters’ thoughts…)

candy timeline jake is also pretty interesting since he very notably starts being advised by BGD to be a kind of spy on the inside against jane’s. whole thing in that timeline. i actually completely cannot remember what jane does in the meat timeline, i think also some presidency bullshit, right?? that’s what the davekat thing was about??? but anyway BGD sounds pretty normal in all his dialogue, or normal for BGD at least, and is aware of both the game over timeline and ult. dirk’s bullshit enough to make fun of it so. idk maybe i’m just misunderstanding how ultimate selves work, but the fact that BGD wasn’t really “integrated” into ult. dirk feels significant to me, especially considering the fact that we can see caliborn/LE’s influence on ult. dirk so much (his narration in ch39 gives AR too, frankly, like the epilogues are obvs way more openly horny than hs proper but AR was always kinda like that too, especially about jake). hs^2 also ends super abruptly with some lore shit i skimmed half heartedly between calliope, roxy, and john again talking about his initial decision between candy and meat. that whole conversation pretty deliberately frames the decision between meat and candy as being parallel to terezi’s coin flip about whether or not to kill vriska, and roxycallie even tell john straight up that he needs to get vriska again to fix the story, perhaps assuming that’ll work again since it did when he was retconning the timeline? but imo, though maybe i’m biased cause i didn’t really review what vriska does post-canon again, it seems more fitting to me that jake would be the one to fix the bullshit timelines, considering 1. dirk is the one going bananas out of his fucking mind w/ control of the narrative, 2. thematically, pumpkins are the most logical, healthy alternative to meat and candy, fitting since caliborn explicitly aligns dirk and jake’s color scheme with them in the smut-drawing conversation and since (in the same breath) he establishes that he hates them and prefers meat/candy. but that’s getting into sherlock secret final episode levels of conspiracy, and i’m not sure i’m ready for that one

#hs #astronaut rambles #i really hate the concept of an ultimate self actually have i mentioned that before #it kind of just feels Bad like #ok weird parallel but you know how it kind of sucks major ass that all of those *other* sons of dio are introduced in jojo pt 6? #cause it takes away from giorno’s significant kinda #it’s like that this idea of an “ultimate” self just kinda #implies that the true version we’ve been following isn’t actually the truly authentic one #which idk i just dislike that #like it works for davepeta (ish) but. for dirk? #when his whole thing is that the true dirk is different from his splinters? #how’s that joke go again? #‘oh shit it sucks that we have all this organizations. we need to make one to unite them all!’ total organizations: +1 #how tf did i write actual quotes in the tags earlier jesus #okay 3 am i need to sleep now nobody read this ok promise kisses #dirkjake

[minervas-hand]

Right to fear, wrong to believe

Just had a horrible realization and needed to meta it out.

How different they were before Edinburgh, when Crowley was sucked down into Hell.

Look at this flirty babygirl in the Bastille:

I mean could he climb that tree any faster?

(This is why I really like fics that place a more physical relationship here, pre-Bastille or just post-Bastille, because c'mon look at them. )

In S1 the next thing is 1862 and Crowley asking for insurance (with a cane ffs). And Aziraphale freaking out with his "fraternizing" BS. It's jarring, until we get 1827 filled in for us in S2.

@takeme-totheworld notes in this post:

Crowley sure went from "our respective head offices don't actually care how things get done" and "nobody ever has to know" to "walls have ears" FAST after Edinburgh. And Aziraphale went from looking at Crowley with hearts in his eyes to "I've been FrAtErNiZiNg" just as quickly. I'm more convinced than ever that Edinburgh was the first time Crowley ever actually got caught and punished for fucking around with Aziraphale/doing good deeds/whatever it was they yanked him back down to Hell for, and it scared the absolute shit out of both of them and changed the whole tone of their relationship after that.

Yes! - it's clear to me as well that the Edinburgh graveyard was a very bad turning point, where they both saw that Hell was listening and would intervene. And it did change their relationship drastically, for over a century and a half (really, until looming Armageddon loosened up the stakes for them).

But what about Heaven?

See the thing is, we know Azi's been worried about Heaven watching him for the past 6000 years.

But they haven't.

[GIFs posted by starrose17]

All this time, and Heaven had not seen them together. Hadn't noticed. Had not even LOOKED.

I want to mention what @starrose17 says about this here in this post:

What I love about this is her choice of words, “went back through the Earth Observation files.” This implies that these photos were already filed somewhere meaning somebody had to have been watching them which meant somewhere in the depths of the bureaucratic heaven there’s an underpaid angel clerk tasked with watching angels on Earth, and he’s been hording photos of his favourite Angel/Demon couple not reporting them to Michael because he wants to see what happens.

And that's exactly what this fic covers!: Spying Omens by @ednav

(Give this a read, it's fabulous.)

While I am here for this being exactly how that happens, the other scenario is colder and worse - there's no one watching, at all. It's just filing automatically and never seen until some Scrivener is called to pull a file.

From @fuckyeahisawthatat's comment here :

I found this scene to be quite chilling, actually. Not only is the idea of Heaven as a surveillance state brilliant (way to make “God is always watching” sound way more ominous) but this is exactly how modern surveillance states work. They don’t actively watch everybody all the time. That’s not physically possible for humans, and even if it is metaphysically possible for Heaven, it’s not a very efficient use of resources. Surveillance states watch people they deem “suspicious.” And once you’ve been put in the category of “suspicious,” they have massive amounts of data that they can comb through to collect a lot of information about you–to retroactively build a case justifying why you’re suspicious, to collect information about where you go and who you associate with, etc.

Yes.

So we either have secret collusion in the rank and file, or we have a surveillance state that is constantly reinforced to its subjects for fear's sake, for control.

(Well, it obviously could be both.)

BUT my point is… Up until Edinburgh, Hell has not been watching (or caring at least). And up until near the end of Armageddon't, neither has Heaven.

Oh, my poor Angel. Thousands of years, of denying yourself, of pushing Crowley away, of carrying around a tension that is it's own constellation.

After 1827 you might have reason, but for the 5000+ years before that?

Thousands of years and Heaven was not watching nor cared.

You were right to fear. And you were wrong to believe.

And that just breaks my heart.

#okay gonna go reread Spying Omens again because that's my headcanon now #I hope Azi tears out the Earth Observation cams or servers or whatever it is #where's Murderbot when you need a good hack #good omens meta #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens

[bowsellie]

we have chemistry

warnings: college!ellie x college!reader, stoner!ellie, chronically ill reader (not specific, just mentions of fatigue and a medical accommodation for a single room for plot reasons lol), weed usage (Ellie and reader), mild language, briefly proofread, no use of y/n minors dni! smut in 3rd section! top!ellie, some degradation, praise (reader called a good girl, pretty girl, etc., ellie told she's doing a good job), SO MUCH CONSENT WE <3 CONSENT, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), aftercare.

💗💗💗

You didn't want to be taking organic chemistry. Nobody in that class did--not even the chemistry majors. But as finals season rolled around, you found yourself spending extra time to make sure that it would at least be worth your while. Needless to say, not everybody shared the same drive.

As the clock hit 8:49am on the last class before the exam, everybody started shoving their laptops away despite the professor's continuing drone. To your right there was an extra loud snap! as the student beside you--an auburn-haired girl you'd never seen before--shut the screen with finality. You shot her a glare, gently closing your notebook as people began to trickle out.

"You're smart, right?"

You angled your face towards the sound, assuming somebody was having a side conversation close by. Instead, you found yourself face to face with striking green eyes leaning to reach your line of sight.

"Hi. Yeah, you. You're using an actual notebook and have all the fancy pens and shit, so...are you smart?"

Your eyebrows drew together slightly as you shrugged with one shoulder. "I try, I guess. Um...why?"

One corner of the girl's mouth picked up. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've literally never been to this class before. My grade sucks. But I really don't want to retake this shit. Do you think you could help me?"

You stared at her incredulously, mentally calculating the equation of audacity and arrogance it must take to expect a complete stranger to help despite a clear lack of effort.

You opened your mouth slightly to say some variation of hell fucking no, who do you think you are anyways?, maybe you should have considered that before skipping literally every other class meeting when she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ellie, by the way. I'll pay you for helping me." When you hesitated to shake it, she added a "please".

You rolled your eyes, shaking the girl--Ellie's--hand with slightly too much force. "Fine. Whatever. Give me your number." You slid your phone across the table, already open to the contacts app, and watched as she typed.

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you..." she asked, pausing for your name. You gave it. "Thank you."

💗💗💗

Getting back to your dorm and settling into bed for a nap, you briefly texted the number now in your phone as "Ellie" with the last name "Wehavechemistry".

hey

Almost immediately, three dots popped up.

hey there. do you like my contact? lmao

i mean, we do have chemistry together. so like...sure?

no no no. i meant like...we have chemistry. wink wink nudge nudge. and my last name starts with a w so it's funny. do you get it?

...

it's funny.

yeah yeah sure. very funny. hahaha. anyways.

when did you want to come over? i'm free all weekend, and the final's monday. sooooo

oh shit

didn't realize the final was monday

ummmmmmmm how does tomorrow at 8pm work? do you have a roommate or something we need to accommodate for?

no, no roommate. tomorrow at 8pm works fine for me. see you then, ellie.

:)

Turns out, texting with Ellie wasn't all that insufferable. She was friendlier than you expected, and every time you put your phone down to try and fall asleep you found your heart beating too fast at every notification to actually put it down.

Instead, you kept the conversation going until 8pm the next day rolled around, when instead of a text you got three loud raps at the door.

Opening it up, you saw Ellie in the same hoodie as yesterday. This time, her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like...old spice and something pungent and earthy. Did she shower already?

"Hey," you said, suddenly feeling awkward and over dressed in your jean shorts and crop top, hair still done from that afternoon. "You can come in."

Ellie grinned at you as she slid in the door. "We have a semester of schoolwork to cover. Hope you're prepared for a long night," she said.

"Trust me, I am. Did you bring anything?" You asked, looking for a bag as she climbed on to your bed.

"Nope. Not school stuff, anyways." Curious, you tossed your notebook towards her and watched as she pulled a pre-rolled joint and lighter from her hoodie pocket. "I'm assuming you don't smoke since you're like, a nerd, but do you mind if I do?"

You shook your head, dropping your jaw in false offense. "How lame do you think I am? Just because I actually go to class doesn't mean I'm a nerd."

Ellie shot you a disbelieving look, but handed you the joint anyways as you joined her on the bed. "Here, have the first hit. As a thank you for helping me out."

She lit it for you as you inhaled, passing her the weed and opening your notebook. "If this keeps you from retaining information that's not my fault. Just saying."

"Trust me, I'm so alert right now it's crazy. All of tonight is gonna be stuck in my memory for a while."

💗💗💗

The room gradually grew darker, lit only by your adjusting lamp and the last smoldering ashes of the joint as you reached halfway through the notebook.

You breathed heavily through your nose, looking at Ellie seriously. "It's so late. We're not going to finish this tonight."

As she looked up at you, you suddenly noticed how much closer you two had moved over the course of the night. Had your thighs been touching the whole time? Has her breath always been so close it's hitting your cheek? Why did she have to smell so good?

Your own breath caught in your throat as she leaned even closer to you, placing a hand so close to your leg you could feel the fabric of her sweatshirt against her bare thigh. Almost imperceptibly, her gaze flickered down to your chest, now rapidly rising and falling.

"How set do you think I am for this stupid final?" Ellie asked seriously, a rasp in her voice either from smoke or the lowered pitch.

"You picked up on everything really well, so at least the first half I think you'll do fine."

She grabbed your left hand in both of hers, causing your breath to catch again. Her eyes flickered down again, this time lingering longer. Following her gaze, you noticed the top of your bra peeking out.

"Sorry," you said, quickly adjusting your shirt to cover it as heat spread through your body.

"No, no, you're fine. Sorry for looking," she said. You looked at her face, watching as her eyes seemed to trace the shape of your shoulders and the line of your throat.

The air thickened with tension, but you found yourself not wanting Ellie to leave yet. "So, why did you take this class anyways? If you didn't want to go?"

Finally, she met your eyes. "I need a chemistry for my major. Astronomy. I thought I would like this one, but didn't realize it was a fucking 8am when I signed up. By the time I realized I wasn't going to make it up that early it was too late to drop." She shrugged. "What about you? Big chemistry fan?"

You snorted. "Not really, but I also needed a chemistry for my major. I like the 8ams, it lets me have afternoons free to sleep. That's why I don't have a roommate--medical accommodations for fatigue or whatever." She nodded along, genuinely listening.

"Well, hopefully I don't have to retake this class. Next time there probably won't be a pretty girl willing to help me out."

You smiled at her, breathing sharply out of your nose in a laugh. "We'll see what we can do."

A beat of silence washed over you before Ellie pointed towards the pride flag on your wall with her chin. "So...are you..." She began, causing you to laugh full out this time.

"Yeah. Obviously, I'd hope, but if you're feminine people tend to assume otherwise I guess." You smiled and looked at her. "Are you?"

Ellie placed a hand on her chest. "I'm hurt you had to ask. I've been trying to flirt with you since I got your number, babe."

Oh.

"Oh."

She leaned back a little. "I can cut it out, if you want. I couldn't tell if you were into it or not."

Without giving her time to continue doubting, you sprung forward and attached your lips to hers. Threading your fingers in her hair and breathing in as you pulled back.

"So...you are into it?"

"I'm a little dense, Ellie. Don't let the color-coded notes fool you. But yes. Now that I know...I'm into it."

She smiled at you with one side of her mouth again, this time leaning forward to kiss you first. Lips opening slightly, you felt her body around yours as her hands found the bed and pushed you on to your back.

Ellie pushed her tongue gently into your mouth, settling between your legs as they fell open. As you felt her weight between your hips, you groaned a little.

Whining a little as she pulled away, your eyes fluttered shut as Ellie threaded her fingers through the hair by your ear. "Is this supposed to be my payment?" you asked, leaning into her touch.

"Shut up," she said playfully, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it was more forceful, teeth bumping against teeth as your tongues chased each other. Too focused on the overwhelming sensation of Ellie's mouth on your own, you broke the kiss to moan in surprise when you felt her knee push against your core.

Using the opportunity to trail her mouth down your cheek, to your jaw, to your neck, Ellie asked "is this okay, baby?" between kisses. You nodded before remembering she couldn't see you, instead responding with a slightly choked "yes."

In response, her lips attached right behind your ear as her teeth sunk into you and she began to suck. You groaned, bucking your hips against her knee. Kindly, she began to push it back into you, laughing into your neck as you continued whimpering.

"What?" you asked. "Why are you laughing?"

Ellie pulled away from the spot she had been working into your collarbone, meeting your eyes. "You're just so pretty. Can't believe I have you falling apart for me and I've barely touched you."

Your mouth fell open at her words, groaning. Ellie's mouth found yours again, her hands reaching for your tits over your shirt. "Can't blame me for looking at these," she said between kisses, "You look so good in this shirt."

"Take it off, then," you said. You sounded braver than you felt, your stomach doing absolute flips as the girl over you quickly complied to reveal your lacy nude bra.

"I like this," she said softly. "I want it off, though. Is that okay, pretty?" You nodded. The bra was nothing special--just comfy and the right color. If Ellie liked it, though, it was now one of your favorites.

Her mouth moved down your chin and neck to attach to your left nipple, bringing a hand to your opposite hip as she sucked and licked lightly. Your hips continued to buck against her knee, which was now stationary as you essentially rode her thigh.

Chuckling a little, Ellie looked up at you and began unbuttoning your shorts. "Knew you'd be needy. What kind of thoughts are you hiding from me?" she asked, pulling off your bottoms and panties in one go when you lifted your hips to help.

You smiled a little watching her eyes attach themselves to the spot between your legs. "What can I say?" you said. "Maybe I'm a little slutty if the right girl has me under her."

This seemed to light something in Ellie, who watched your face as she brought your face down to your pussy. Close enough to feel her breath, her eyes gleamed as she moved away from your hips chasing her.

"Please," you asked, voice breaking. "Please, Ellie."

"Guess you are a slut, huh? Begging for me already." Whatever response you had was cut off by a screaming moan as her mouth attached itself to you, immediately lapping at your clit before interspersing it with longer licks. Your legs shut around her face as your hands grabbed into her hair, pulling a little as you noticed the groan she made at the pressure.

"That feels so good, Ellie." Her motions sped up at this, and you hurriedly repeated the phrase as she focused more attention on your clit. Feeling everything tighten, you wrapped your ankles around her back as your hips lifted almost completely off the bed. Still attached to you, Ellie fully moaned as you pulled her hair and came over her face.

Whimpering softly as she pulled away, you audibly groaned when she looked up at you and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. "You did so good, baby. Do you have another one in you?"

You quickly nodded, feeling words escape you. All you wanted was for her to say you did good again.

Ellie leaned into you, placing her head into the crook of your neck as her fingers ghosted lightly over your hips, stomach, and thighs. Finally, you felt them dip into the pool of wet that had collected in your cunt. Spreading the mix of saliva, cum, and arousal up to your clit and around your hole, she slowly pushed a slender finger into you. Your back arched off the bed when she began pumping it in and out, chuckling against your neck.

"Such a pretty girl. You're doing so good," she whispered. Your moans grew louder at her words and she pushed another finger in. "Good girl," she breathed, kissing your neck and jaw as she worked into you.

"Ellie," you gasped. "Ellie, please."

"What, baby?"

"Please, Ellie, please. Wanna cum."

You felt her lips quirk up against your collarbone as she added a thumb to your clit and a curl to her fingers. Quicker than you'd ever been able to get there yourself, you felt the tightening of your gut. She swallowed your moans with a sloppy kiss, gently catching your bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. She used her other hand to hold on to your hair at the scalp as you writhed, second orgasm shuddering through your body.

"Good girl," she said as she worked you through it. Sitting up, she wiped her fingers on your thighs before moving up up to let you rest your head on her chest. "You did so good, baby. My smart, pretty, good girl."

You whimpered a little, not prepared to speak just yet. Ellie seemed to understand and didn't push you, holding you and playing with your hair until you leaned back to smile at her.

"That was good. Thank you," you told her, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of your sweat and pussy.

Ellie broke away, moving the hand wrapped around your waist to grab something out of your back pocket. She placed it on your bare chest, tucking it between your tits.

"What do I look like, a prostitute?" you asked. "Much love to them, but..."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I mean, you fuck like a professional, but this is for helping me study."

You grabbed the bill and pushed it back into her pocket. "Save it for next time. We need to finish that notebook if you want to actually pass this class."

Ellie kissed the top of your head. "How does tomorrow work?"

A/N this is basically a self insert...my bad. tried to make it as inclusive to different readers as possible. let me know if there's anything I can improve on!! <3

#Ellie smut #Ellie williams smut #Ellie williams #Ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #Ellie williams x you #Ellie williams oneshot #stoner!ellie #college!ellie #she's astronomy major coded prove me wrong

[thebisexualdogdad]

Dating Sanji and Zoro (Male!reader)

● oh the amount of arguments you have to break up between your boyfriends

● they love purposely doing things that will annoy the shit out of each other

● and you are stuck in the middle playing mediator

● “Sanj maybe you don't need to use Zoro's sword to cut those tomatoes”

● “Zoro please don't swap the labels on Sanji's spices… again”

● it's a real shit show when one of them grabs your bo staff to hit the other one over the head with it

● Zoro is a master swordsman, Sanji is skilled in black leg style fighting where you are a pro with a bo staff

● and you've learned to expertly fight alongside one another to become practically unbeatable

● Sanji is much more affectionate than Zoro

● he's all over you, hugging you and kissing you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and putting his hand in your back pocket while Zoro prefers to do those things in private

● though Sanji will purposely kiss Zoro in public just to fluster him which makes you laugh

● "wha- sanji I- I told you not to do that"

● "to late, already did it lover boy"

● and he will forever deny that he gets butterflies whenever he hears either of you refer to each other as your ‘boyfriends’

● but you better believe Zoro gets so soft when you or Sanji get hurt/sick

● you could just have a common cold and Zoro will not leave your side until you feel better

● Zoro's love language is acts of service

● so without telling you he will clean up the kitchen for Sanji or fix any dents in your staff

● Sanji “Hey do you know who organized all the food by what's closest to expiration?”

● or you “does anyone know how all the chips in my staff are gone?”

● Zoro just shrugs and pretends to not know despite staying up all night to do those kind of things

● and Sanji's love language is making sure his boys are always fed

● he's constantly asking you guys if you've eaten or if you're hungry

● “Sanj we ate dinner like an hour ago we're stuffed”

● “yes but I can still make you dessert”

● Sanji and Zoro are both switches

● but Zoro refuses to let Sanji top him

● because the one time Sanji did he hasn't let him forget it

● they will be in the middle of an argument and Sanji will say “you weren't so tough when I had you on your back begging for me”

● Zoro “Shut up Sanji!”

● you chuckle “well you are a beggar”

● when Zoro bottoms for you he becomes a moaning begging mess

● chanting your name as he gets closer to his release

● where bottom Sanji is a total brat who loves to push buttons to get punished

● when they top you they get so competitive of who can fuck you better

● “I'm the one who made Y/N cum last night”

● “yeah but I'm the one who made him cum twice this morning”

● and when they are both on their knees sucking you off it's a sight to see

● one will be taking your cock all the way to the back of their throat while the other is sucking on your balls

● Sanji loves having his nipples played with

● he's in heaven when one of you is eating his ass while the other is sucking and licking his nipples

● and Zoro loves having his hair pulled

● if you have him on his hands and knees fucking him from behind while you pull his hair he's putty in your hands

● you and Sanji regularly worship Zoro's muscles

● if you see Zoro flexing his biceps you two can't resist dragging him somewhere private

● his abs are always covered in hickies

● you love seeing his stomach uncontrollably flex while you're teasing his v lines

● you and Sanji making dumb jokes about hot guys like Shanks and Mihawk

● you “I could take them”

● Zoro “in a fight right?”

● Sanji “sure, that's what we are talking about”

#one piece imagine #roronoa zoro imagine #roronoa zoro x reader #sanji imagine #sanji x reader #zoro x sanji x reader #x male reader #headcanons

[undreaming-fanfiction]

For A Handful of Bandaids

This is my entry for SpicySixWinterFanworksChallenge organized by the lovely @thefreakandthehair.

“Hey Steve, do you know where we’ve got some bandaids?”

In hindsight, Eddie should have known that a simple question like that would never prompt a simple response from his boyfriend. Steve was many things - brave, loyal, a great cook, wonderful in bed, but most of all - he tool Eddie’s well-being very seriously. He was a raging bull whose red flag was anything related to health, injury, sickness or danger, no matter how small.

Well. Not really raging. More like anxious, caring and always ready to whip out half of a pharmacy.

So of course, the answer wasn’t “they’re in the second drawer,” nope.

Instead, Steve stood up, grabbed Eddie by his shoulders and started checking him for injuries. “Eddie, are you hurt? Did someone in town attack you again? Shit, I thought things’ve calmed down, did you recognize them?”

It would have been hilarious if Eddie hadn’t hated making Steve worried.

He reached for Steve’s hands, still on his shoulders, and put on his most persuasive voice. “Steve, baby, I swear I’m fine! No attacks, no black eyes, no broken bones. I’m completely fine!” He even grabbed his collar and moved it to the side so Steve could check. “See? No strangulation marks. Uh...no new strangulation marks, post-bat.”

Steve seemed to be calming down, good. Fantastic. “So...” he said slowly, “...you don’t need them for yourself? Did one one of the kids get hurt? Wayne?”

Eddie really wanted to punch himself in the face now. Why hadn’t he spent those five extra minutes looking for the bandaids himself?!

“No. Look, Steve. I need them for myself, but for something small. Something very very VERY tiny. I just made a not-so-ideal decision and now I want to treat the consequences.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed and his stare traveled directly into Eddie’s soul. “Eddie. What. Did. You. Do?”

“...I think it would be easier to show you.”

---

In another hindsight, it would have been easier to tell Steve. If Eddie thought seeing the crime scene would calm his boyfriend down, he was dead wrong.

Steve’s eyes traveled over the destruction. Eddie’s books, neatly arranged on bookshelves that morning, were now lying everywhere. The books from the bookcase didn’t fare any better - except the bookcase was now lying on them, over their bed. Speaking of the bed, the plant that they saved from a local dumpster and nurtured back to health? That plant was now depotted over Eddie’s pillow.

He sucked in a breath through his front teeth. “Did someone break in?”

Eddie shook his head so fast his hair became a tangled mess. “No. Nono. Steve. No one invaded our wonderful home. No one damaged our property. I mean, someone did, but it was...very much deserved.”

“Eddie. Explain. Now.”

“Oh yeah. Sure. Will do. Um...how long a version do you want?”

“Concise.”

“Right. In short - Ozzy did this.” Noticing Steve’s disbelieving stare, Eddie quickly added: “But I deserved it. Totally.”

Steve sat down onto the single clean and empty spot on their bed. “Are you telling me that our cat knocked over a full bookcase?”

Eddie had the decency to look guilty. “Oh no, that was me.”

“I take back the “concise” request. Tell me everything. Step by step.”

“Right.” Eddie’s eyes darted between each aspect of the crime scene, trying to put together a reasonable explanation. “So. I was sitting on the bed with Ozzy. He didn’t like something I did and decided to run away, but I was...sort of connected to him.”

“Sort of connected...?”

Eddie waved his hand. “I’ll explain. But as he was escaping, I had to go after him, because you know...connected. And he really didn’t like that. So he jumped up that bookcase and we were still-”

“-connected?” Steve didn’t seem to understand or believe any of it, but he was certainly entertained.

“Yep. So I tried to climb the bookcase and get him down.”

Steve’s palm connected with his forehead with a resounding slap. “Eddie. Do you know how physics work?”

Snorting, Eddie shook his head. “Of course I don’t, Steve. Failed high school twice, remember? But I also know your grades and because of that I dare to say - neither do you. Not that physics would have gotten Ozzy down.”

“That part is true.” Steve was grinning back at him, imagining the chaos. “So, you climbed the bookcase and it fell on you. What next?”

Eddie pointed at the sad remains of Steve’s plant. “I knew how much you love that plant, so I decided to save it. Since it was on that bookshelf. I heroically leapt from the bookcase and towards the plant, but I have miscalculated my daring rescue.”

Steve’s eyebrows did that adorable confused scrunch. “You what?”

“I jumped too fast and it fell on my head.”

“Oh.”

Eddie nodded, touching a sore spot on his nape. “Yeah. And my head gave it that extra bounce to land on the pillow. Wrong side up, I’m afraid.”

Steve reached out to the plant and picked it up, examining its leaves. “I think she’ll live. She’s a strong girl. Continue.”

“Not much more to tell,” Eddie shrugged. “Ozzy used the commotion to disconnect himself from me and darted outside. I got soil out of my hair and went to ask you for bandaids.

Steve was stroking the plant’s leaves, checking for damage. “The one thing I don’t understand is this. How didn’t I hear it happening?”

“Oh, it was much faster than it sounds. And I believe you were washing the dishes.”

“That explains it,” Steve nodded and set the plant into its miraculously unharmed flower pot. “One more question then. How were you connected?”

Eddie started chewing on his hair and looking at the ground instead of Steve. “You know...it’s almost Christmas, right?” he asked in a quiet voice. “And you love Christmas. Everyone knows you love Christmas, so...”

“Eddie. How were you connected?” he repeated slowly, carefully.

He smiled sheepishly, pulling something colorful from his pocket. “Do you know how they say that fate connects you with a red string? Something like that. The rest shall be revealed when we find Ozzy. I think he’s hiding under the sink again.”

Steve stood up and sighed the deepest sigh Eddie had heard in ages. “I have no clue where this is going,”

---

Ozzy was, as Eddie had predicted, hiding under the sink. He was hiding really well, 10/10 would not find the cat, except for the red wool that led from the corridor directly to the bathroom. And when they finally got the unhappy cat out with promises of treats and even more treats, Steve finally saw it and laughed.

“Really, this is what you did?” he asked and reached out to free Ozzy.

Despite his prompt escape, Ozzy still bore wounds from his brave fight against Eddie. Except those weren’t wounds, it was a half-unraveled red Christmas sweater. Steve thought he recognized Claudia Henderson’s work. No matter who knitted it, Ozzy obviously hated the idea.

Eddie was, just like the sweater, bright red. “See, it was nearly finished and I promised to try it on him, just to see if it fits. And when he decided he didn’t like it, which was pretty much immediately, I think one of the loose threads got caught on my rings. So...yeah.”

 Steve pulled him into a kiss and scratched Ozzy’s back, now free from the wooly prison.

“You really thought you could get that sweater on our cat? You’re adorable. I’ll get those bandaids.”

#SpicySixWinterFanworksChallenge #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fanfiction

[thatharringrovehoe]

I'm thinking of an AU where Billy wasn't involved in the shenanigans/horrors of season three at all. He worked at the pool, picked up extra shifts ever since Heather stopped showing up, went to scoops every chance he got just to see Steve Harrington's fat ass in those tiny shorts. He has a night off for once and decides to go and see that new sci-fi movie playing at the mall. Near the end he swears he can hear Harrington laughing like a lunatic with some girl down in the front row, but when the movie ends Billy doesn't see him in the que to leave, just the girl he works with huddled around a bucket of popcorn and giggling to herself while she wanders towards the water fountain. He needs to piss, so Billy makes his way to the bathroom, stopping short outside the entrance when the sound of someone wretching up what must be all of their internal organs filters through the door. He debates just going home, but he actually *really* has to go. So.

Billy pushes open the door, ignoring the painful vomiting sounds three doors down and takes care of business. It's not until he saunters up to wash his hands that he notices a pair of very familiar Nike's sticking out across the floor. And there sits Harrington, hugging the toilet like a lifeline and panting into the crook of his elbow.

"Harrington? Shit, you alright?"

And normally he'd poke fun. Pretty boy is obviously on something, evident by his blown out pupils and glassy stare. But he's also sweating buckets and shaking, tears and snot running down his face. And Jesus ever loving *fuck*, whoever worked over pretty boy's face wasn't pulling any punches.

Steve squints, eyes traveling slowly from Billy's boots up to his face. He smiles, dopey and high and Billy winces at how it pulls the purple black swelling of his cheek.

"Yeah, I feel way better now."

Which. *Okaaaaay*.

"I'll bet. What the fuck happened to your face?"

"I was integrated-..inter...interror-...I was tortured by Russian spies"

Billy snorts, amused despite himself.

"Oh yeah? That why you weren't at the counter today, sailor?"

Steve scrunches up his nose, and damn, Billy's gunna have to ask Harrington what he took when he's a bit more sober. It's some potent stuff if he's not even flinching moving an obviously broken nose like that.

"You know my shift schedule?"

*Shit*. Billy feels the tips of his ears go hot. Clearing his throat awkwardly as he glances down at his boots.

Time to change the subject.

"Why were you being *interrogated* by Russian spies, pretty boy?"

Steve sucks his teeth.

"Cuz the monsters came back and Robin cracked Dustin's code and then we went under the mall in an elevator to a secret Russian Army base and got caught and then they beat me up and shot me and Robin up with truth syrup and-...umm....I think that's it."

Billy blinks.

Once.

Twice.

And. *Huh*.

"That right?"

Steve nods, swaying dangerously forward before catching himself on the stall doorway.

Whatever he's on, Steve obviously *believes* what he's saying. There might even be something to that 'truth serum' element considering how he's answered all of Billy's questions so easily. And Billy never once in his life claimed to be a good person.

"Why were you with my sister at the Byers' house last winter?"

Steve's head shoots up, eyes wide as saucers and for one horrifying moment Billy's sure the guy is going to start crying. Thankfully he doesn't, just slumps even heavier against the toilet with a sigh.

"Because there are monsters in the dark. And I was supposed to protect them. I *had* to protect them. Hopper said to *stay*. And then you showed up and Max said you were gonna kill her and I was supposed to keep them *safe*"

Billy tries to parse through whatever make believe bullshit Steve is spouting before getting caught on the whole *killing his sister* part.

"What, and you believed her?"

Steve gives him a considering look. Barring the rest of *whatever the fuck* Steve is talking about, Billy isn't sure he wants to hear the answer the guy is obviously mulling over.

Finally, he settles on "I don't anymore", and something sharp and hurt in Billy's chest settles.

"Hmm. Alright. If you've been *shot up with truth syrup*" Billy huffs a laugh "tell me a secret. Something you specifically don't want me to know."

Again, Billy's never claimed to be a good person.

Somewhere under all that blood and bruising, Billy thinks he sees a flush creep up Harrington's neck.

*Jackpot*

"I'm the one who keeps stealing your photo from the pool corkboard"

He-..

Wait

What?

"That's-. Uh. Not what I thought you were gonna say."

Steve shrugs, embarrassed and looking anywhere but Billy. And Billy *has to know*. Has to ask.

"Why?"

Harrington looks up at him, not a trace of a lie in his eyes.

"Cuz every time I go to the pool to ask you on a date I chicken out."

Billy can't feel his fucking *face*. He has no idea what to say.

It's at this exact moment one of Max's nerd friends kicks down the bathroom door, holding Scoops girl by the shirt while Sinclair's little sister levels Billy with a challenging glare that has shame curling hot and acrid in his gut.

"STEVE! We've been looking *everywhere* for you! C'mon buddy, we have to get outta here before the Russian guys find us."

These hicks are fucking insane.

After helping Steve up to rinse out his mouth in the sink, Billy walks out of the bathroom with Harrington hanging off his shoulder when a bullet whizzes past his nose to embed itself in the cement wall.

Henderson is screaming "Shit, they found us!" while two men in black combat gear come charging up the escalator, armed to the teeth. They bark orders out in what is obviously Russian before a show car *flies through the air* and crushes them against the wall.

After Billy is introduced to a little girl with God damn *superpowers*, he's given a bare bones explanation while Steve plays with one of Billy's stray curls like it's the most interesting thing in the world. And monsters are real and there's a spider made of people out to get them and apparently Heather is possessed and all Billy can hear is

***Cuz every time I go to the pool to ask you on a date I chicken out***

#that hoe writes #billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things #season 3 rewrite #i just love to put Billy in these wacky situations

[orphicrose]

The co-host (Alastor x FemReader) IV

< >

Summary: You are Alastors Co host in life, perhaps more. But are separated by a sudden death. When you are finally reunited in the under world, it is up to Alastor to figure out why you don’t remember him.

@cannibalcoyote @kahlan170 @sugxryratz

_______________𖤐

Red hand marks were imprinted on y/n's face from leaning on them all night, body folded up on the lounge chair she must have passed out on last night. Was it all just a bad dream? she wondered. Throughout the night, her fire had died and left embers, muddy footprints sat in front of the metal gate shielding her from them. Confirming that last night, in fact, was not a bad dream. Letters had made a pile in her hallway, falling in from her letter box. Satans "W" stamp in the corner of each one. Today was going to be fun. 

"Fill me in on every sacrifice, mister" Y/N said to the fishy sinner below her, rushing to her office all the while struggling to finish tying her red bow around their neck. 

"We have had very few that are worth while this morning. A Mister Valentino performed a seance an hour ago, wanting money" He adjusted his monocle, trying to read the tiny writing on the paper slipping from fin to fin. "He seems to be a big drug lord, i think humans refer to them as "pimps" these days". 

"Interesting, and very easy. Lets start with that for today" Y/n grabs the file, slamming the door of her office into her assistants face. 

"Again...?" He mumbles under his breath, nose slamming into the hard frame.

After a second of scanning the file, y/n nodded to herself. Now sitting in her spinny chair at her desk. "Okay, first one of the day. Lets get those numbers up for you Boss" She mumbled, tying her hair into a bun to organize herself for business. Purple mist surrounded her, filtering through the furniture and pouring outside the room like a floor filling her office. Mere seconds passed, before her body melted into it and became an atom in the air. Vents in her space inhaled the air, making a vile sucking sound like it had taken a hit of a cigarette. She was gone.

In another world, another country, with blue skies and a full moon. She appeared in another office, similar to hers. Only there was natural light filled to the brim, and a rather ugly satanic star under her. How tacky, she thought. "You know, valentino, you don't need all these props to summon me" Her voice came across rather menacing to the tall man sat at his desk. 

"Satan?!" He half yelled, almost forgetting he basically called her into his office. His accent taking her a little by surprise. 

"Of sorts, i supposed. Don't act so surprised."

"i... i didn't think it would actually work" His gold tooth shined through his smile that had creeped onto his face.

"uh huh, uh huh. You wanted money? Am i correct?" She sounded bored, they were bored. It was the same shit every time. 

"Yes... oh! And a bigger name for myself!" He added

"That all?" he nodded hastily in response to her question. "I assume you know what i need in return?" Again, he nodded to the question, hand already stretched out to receive hers. As soon at they connected, he felt a rush of adrenaline surge through his body, as if the life was being sucked away from him. When his eyes flung open, he only just caught a glimpse of the purple aura she faded into. Back in hell again. Not even 10 minutes later. 

"Thats a start i suppose" She mumbled, back at her desk again. The rest of her day consisted of hundreds of souls being taken from greedy humans. Some of them really freaked y/n out. They weren't all money or power hungry. Some just wanted help to hide a body. Which is a lot worse than you think. 

On the other side of hell, sat the radio demon in his tower. Broadcasting another voice for sinners to hear in their nightmares later that night. His dinner distracting him from thoughts that had been eating at him. Why doesn't she remember him? Didn't she ever care? He didn't look vastly different than he did when he was alive... other than the red hair, and antlers, and red eyes, and hooves.... and deer ears. But other than that, he was the same. 

"Stop it! Al!" Y/n hit him playfully as he kissed her cheek. "We are live any second!" She stifled a giggle as the ticker counted down. He smiles at her warm expressions, struggling to look away. They had a 'thing' for a while. Never really giving it a label. They wanted to, but there was so much going on they never had the time to prioritize a relationship. Oh how he regrets it now. 

The broadcast aired, mainly giving updates on the weather and the uprising war in Europe. Trying their best to offer some comedic relief to the distressed citizens, and telling them "Not to worry! Things get worse before they get better folks, look at me!" Alastor bellowed down the line, chuckles following behind him. The broadcasts always ended with a small, catchy jingle to sign them off. 

"You think things will get better soon?" Y/n questioned as the red light indicated they are done for the day. A moment of silent speaks for Alastor's thoughts, waiting for the right words to pop into his head. "The depression can't last forever, dear. Besides, as long as we are with the right people, nothing can go wrong" His hand ended up holding hers without a second thought, a soft expression washing over his face whilst their eyes connected in a shared feeling. "Thank you" She says.

She cared. She really did. Something must have happened to her down here. He refused to believe nothing could be done. Perhaps he just needed to make her fall in love all over again. 

"Good afternoon, sacrificial demon" He appeared from the floor next to her, resulting in her body jolting back and almost having an outer body experience. 

"Don't call me that" A scowl was thrown at him, clutching at her coat harder as the temperature for the day started its nightly decline. "What do you want now? Didn't already find someone for lunch?" She began walking again.

"Actually, i had quite a pleasant lunch" He responded cheerfully, she knows. She heard the broadcast. "No, I'm here to make amends"

She stops in front of him in the middle of the almost deserted street. Sinners giving them space when the sight of them makes their knees want to give out. "What is your game?" she throws an accusing finger at him. "You are either playing a long game with your future prey, or you have another goal in mind. So what is it? I'm sick of playing guess who with you. What do you want with me?" Her voice escalates to frustration.

"To get to know you, dear"

"What makes me any different from the other overlords you've made your midnight snack? Hm?" She cuts him off, her face getting closer to his in attempts to read him. The usual smile not daring to flinch from its position made it hard to. His static fell silent for a millisecond before his sharp teeth moved to speak. "You remind me of someone I used to care for" A softer voice scared her, almost genuine she felt. A uncanny sense of familiarity washed over her like a kiss wakening her from imminent slumber. "If i wanted to kill you i-"

"Already would have. I know, I know." She cuts him off again, looking at the floor in thought. "How do i know i can trust you enough to allow myself not to kill you?" Her eyes find his and his heart hits the floor.

"I suppose you don't know. But it doesn't seem like you have much to lose" She did have a lot to lose, but she couldn't care less about the empire she had been forced to take. A second was taken to think this through. It would be nice to have another friend. Or another purpose other than sinful business. 

"Do you like tea?" She began walking again, not waiting long for him to jog a little to catch up with her walking speed.

"Actually, i like coffee. No milk or sugar"

"Hail lucifer, you really are a sociopath aren't you?" Their voices faded down the the streets, his chuckle echoing behind them. Maybe he did have a chance. 

#alastor fluff #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #hazbin x y/n #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #Hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust

[timetobeaghost]

The Noah hate mob is so much worse than I thought. Finally saw the story pic going through someone's blog. Cluelessly I had kinda figured a "sticker" is something you can add to your pic, like a filter. And I thought he might have made a dumb sexy pose maybe with a hot dude and put "zionism is sexy" on it. I thought he might have been somewhat douchy and insensitive, because that seemed IC to me, making a dumb post in a serious situation.

But no. He is making a selfie with a friend who seems to be involved in anti-antisemitism activism and wears a (literal, yeah everyone but me knows what a sticker is, I guess) "Hamas is ISIS" sticker, which is a very important message (because people did not use to like islamists cutting off people's heads and raping girls back when it wasn't happening in Israel, maybe they could remember that feeling) and holding Stickers in her hand that apparently read "Zionism is sexy", which is meant to proudly support Israel and Israeli jews, which is healthy and understandable considering it is a reaction to a horrible terror attack on Israel and to a reminder that its very existence in in danger. No, Zionism does NOT mean war! Zionism does NOT mean ethnic cleansing. To say this is antisemitic trash. Jews wanting the tiniest bit of land to live in peace and thrive is the farthest thing from evil. Do you know how many Jews used to live in the Middle East. Do you know where their offspring is now? ISRAEL. And nowhere else because they were ethnically cleansed out of everywhere else.

And no Israel is not perfect, radical settlers and a right wing government supporting them and all that. That needs to be solved. That in no way means Israel's existence and with that Zionism is evil.

Now still those ZiS stickers could be criticized as dumb, I guess. As flippant in a serious matter, but any hate boner can only be explained by antisemitism, and Noah really didn't do shit to deserve anything. And then he was told he should be put in a blender by Hamas. Hamas being a terror organization who really does specialize in slaughtering jews in creative ways. For context.

The only proper reaction is 💯 support for Noah!

If you are part of a hate mob you are those people, oh they had good reasons for their spontaneous anger, I am told. Spoiler alert: history has already decided you suck. And I can guarantee you the Duffer brothers deepest revulsion. No one dreams of appeasing you people! Leave ST fandom and enjoy your jihadism fandom, if that's where your priorities lie.

If you are on the side of: "Yes I know he kinda deserves criticism, but lets not overdo it. Bullying is not nice either", congratulations for being human, but you are the majority Germans in the mid 1930s and you can do better.

Because someone asked me what I say to a 6-year -old Palestinian being murdered in the US, I say this is utterly VILE. It was a crazy, violent murderer's reaction to the terror attack and it is endlessly tragic that this happened. It was not a reaction to solidarity with Israel's people. The pos was reacting to the actual event. Peaceful, loving support for the victims is the antitheses to that. I wanna ask back what you think of hundreds of children being brutally murdered or kidnapped in Israel on October 7th. Can we agree that this shit is utterly vile as well? Can we agree THOSE HOSTAGES NEED TO BE BROUGHT HOME? Btw?

#noah schnapp #byler #antisemitism #guess I wasn't done #i stand with israel #hamas is isis #support noah schnapp

[likeabulldigidigibombombombom]

sorry i think fake dating for felix not arranged marriage

Title: "Boyfriend"

This is a great request TYSM😻😻😻

I’m hoping that you’re a girl because I’m better at writing for fem readers

If you're not I'm so sorry💀

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader 

Trope/Genre: Fake dating, fluff

Warnings: They make fun of each other a lot, Felix is a bit of an ass for shits and giggles, its fine though because he can do no wrong, bad flirting, some suggestive comments at the end so MINORS DNI, Ignore my non-american English (It’s because I’m not from america🙀)

Felix is not an idol in this fic. 

1,634 words 

Summary: Your Mum assumes that you have a boyfriend. Since you are desperate for approval, you invite a friend to the family reunion to pose as your boyfriend. Shit gets wild. Turns out it was for the better.

For years, you’ve never been able to find a relationship anywhere. Guys weren’t interested, girls weren’t interested, absolutely no one has ever been interested in you romantically. Growing up, this wasn’t a problem, since your parents didn’t want their “Sweet little girl” to be dating. But you were getting older, and your house was slowly getting lonelier.

One day, your parents called you to organize a family gathering. “Oh and also!” Your Mum stated. “You can bring a date. I’m sure you’ve found someone by now! Hasn’t your best friend gotten a partner?” You sighed. “Yes Mum, all of my friends are in relationships now.” “So, when are we gonna meet him?” “Meet who?” “Your boyfriend, I’m sure you’re just hiding him from us because you’re scared of our reaction. I’ll assure you, we aren’t judgemental at all!” You rolled your eyes as your Mum kept talking. “Bring him to the family reunion! It’ll be fun!” As you were about to interrupt, your Mum continued. “Oh no! I have to go pick up something from the shops before it gets dark! I love you! Bye!” 

You pressed the hangup button. Your brain started to spiral. ‘How am I gonna do this? There’s no way I’m going to be able to find a boyfriend in time.’ Your eyes lit up. ‘What if I don’t need an actual partner? I just need someone to pretend to be my actual partner!’ You thought about all of your friends, trying to think of one that was single. Your brain instantly went to Felix, a friend who you didn’t know extremely well, but you knew him well enough that you’d be able to ask him for this favour without it being super weird. 

Both of you met at a bus stop. It was raining heavily. Sadly, the stop didn’t have a shelter so you stood there under your little umbrella. Felix was in the same situation as you, except he didn’t have an umbrella. He was getting drenched. When he let out a small “achoo” you decided that you had to work up all of the courage in your body and ask if he wanted to share an umbrella. His eyes lit up and he smiled. You thought it was the brightest smile in the world. His eyes looked like two perfect crescent moons. He stood under your umbrella and you started talking. The bus was 30 minutes away and you were both taking the same bus. Conversations between you two flowed easily. When he got to his stop, you exchanged numbers.

 You’ve hung out alone and in groups a couple of times with him and he at least knows what your family dynamic is like and how expecting your parents are. That is the reason why he wasn’t surprised when he was told to come to your house because of an emergency and he was told that he was now your fake ‘boyfriend’. 

“So when’s the family reunion?” “October 6th” “Oh I can totally come to that! This is gonna be fun.” “Fun? You know that we’re gonna have to make up stories and kiss and cuddle and shit right?” “I’m not totally opposed to that.” “Well that’s because you’re super cuddly, I’m not like that.” “Well, you’re gonna have to pretend now!” “This is annoying, thanks for helping though. You’re like, an insanely good friend.” “I’m not just a friend anymore” He made kissy faces at you and you felt your face heat up. “You suck.”

When you arrived, Felix grabbed your hand. You felt butterflies flutter around your stomach. He rang the doorbell. “You’re blushing.” “What?” “Never mind!” Your Mum swung open the door with a fake smile plastered on her face, her smile quickly became genuine when she saw your hand interlaced with Felix’s. “Oh my gosh! Hello! Come in! What’s your name?” “My name is Felix! Nice to meet you.” He and your Mum hugged as she led you into the kitch(ive😨)en where you and your other family members sat around plates of food.

You and Felix were being bombarded with questions at the speed of light. He was mainly the one answering them, since he was better at making up answers. You just sat there and wondered how this fever dream happened. “Felix?” One of your Aunts spoke up. “Hmm?” “How long have you and Y/N been dating?” He looked at you with a smirk and you realised he was gonna say something that would fuck up the rest of the conversation. 

“A year.” He replied. Gasps could be heard from around the room. “And you aren’t living together yet?!” Your grandma asked with a horrified look on her face. “We’re actually moving in together soon, she’s packing right now.” “Are you moving into her house or is she moving into yours?” “She’s moving into mine since mine is bigger.” “You need to tell us your address once Y/N moves in! We would love to visit. We can also help you pack!” Your Dad said. Felix’s hand was sitting comfortably on your thigh as he looked at you evilly. ‘This is gonna go badly’ You thought.

Once you and Felix got into his car he immediately bursted out laughing. “Oh my god, they actually believed it!” You spoke up. “Why did you say I’m moving into your house?” “For fun.” “You suck. I’m actually gonna have to move in with you now because my parents want to visit.” “I’ve been wanting a roommate.” 

When you got home, he asked if he could stay over and discuss everything further. You hesitated, but you realised that you really needed to set some ground rules, so you let him stay. “You’re so scared of PDA it’s funny, it’s like you think you’re gonna fall in love with me if you hug me.” He said. “I’m not afraid of hugs, you’re just annoying.” “You are so mean.” “Says the guy who purposely screwed me over in front of my family” “Are you actually mad at me? I’m so sorry we can stage a fake break-up if that would make you comfortable! I didn’t mean to annoy you-” “Felix, it’s fine! Chill. I can move in with you and we can stay in separate rooms. Even though it’s a huge fucking process just for my parents to think that I can get bitches.” “There’s one problem with that.” “Oh no, what is it this time?” “There’s only one bedroom.”

4 weeks later

You were sitting in the living room while Felix brought you some hot chocolate. Living with him wasn’t as bad as expected. Some days he slept on the couch and some days you slept on the couch. Felix’s shitty flirting wasn’t ever too much of a problem, because he made up for it with his sweet personality. You had spent one night playing board games with him, and you looked at him and he looked perfect. Like everything you ever wanted, until he made you pick up eight cards in UNO flip. Your parents had come over a couple of times to check on you and spend time with Felix. They liked him more than they liked you honestly. He was kind and charismatic which made his parents fall in love with him. 

“You know what we should do?” Felix said. You put down your phone and took a sip of your hot chocolate. “What? “We should practice kissing.” You choked on your hot chocolate as Felix affectionately rubbed your back. “What?!” You yelled. “You seem too scared to kiss me, and I don’t want to break any boundaries. So I thought we could practice for the first time in the privacy of our own home.” “Oh.” “Are you okay? Do you not like kissing? It’s obviously fine if you don’t, I just think it would be a good way to sell our relationship” As Felix took a sip of his own hot chocolate, you said, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

It was his turn to choke. You laughed at him and he looked at you with wide eyes. “You’ve never kissed anyone?!” “What do you mean by that?” “I mean, someone who looks like you has never even kissed someone?! You’ve got to be kidding! I mean you’re super hot, cute, pretty, and stunning. How has no one kissed you?!” You blushed at his words, earning a smile from him. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just haven’t found the right person.” “What if I’m the right person?” He moved closer to you and his pinky interlaced with yours. “Can I kiss you Y/N?” You nodded. 

Your eyes closed as you felt soft lips meet yours. You could feel his heart beating in his chest, which was comforting because you could tell he was as nervous as you. He brought one of his hands up to your head and started to play with your hair. It was so cute. He was so cute. Everything about him was cute. The kiss was gentle and short, but you didn’t want it to end. He pulled away, and his face was flushed. “You’re so fucking cute.” You said. “I was gonna say the same to you.” There was a pause in the conversation until you spoke up. 

“You have really tiny hands.” You held his palm next to yours and laughed at the difference. “That’s true, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to use them.” He smirked at you and the tips of your ears turned red. “Stop flirting with me or I’m gonna start thinking that you actually want to be my real boyfriend.” “Maybe I do.” 

That night, when you complained about how uncomfortable the couch was, Felix offered to let you sleep in his bed with him.

 You took the opportunity immediately.

Author note: Thank you so much for the request! I loved writing this so much! Like always, constructive criticism is wanted! If you liked this, please follow me for more fanfics like this one <3 Thank you!

Masterlist

#skz imagines #skz headcanons #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #felix x reader #straykids fanfic #stray kids x female reader #lee felix x reader #felix x y/n #likeabulldigidigibombombombom

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Thanks for your response. I was the anon who ended the ask with 'the fandom can suck it'. When I saw that anon who you and twinanimatronics had assumed to be the one that keeps you know starting shit with you, I really hated that they labeled us as shipbrain or whatever they said. I am aroace who finds comfort in shipping characters and that doesn't make me any less aroace. Can't people like them just let us have this, let us share it and stop taping our mouths? God. We are not even hurting anyone. I posted a solarxmoon and solarxearth mini comic thing yesterday and behold, I believe that same anon found it and is looking adamantly through the solarxmoon and even solarxearth because I didn't use the tsams tag for my comic. I took the comic down fast and turned off anon messages so quick because God that anon was quick to leave nasty messages, six in total and that was panic attack inducing. I'm sorry for rambling about this. I don't know anyone else who got that same anon on their back. It looks like they are persistent for lack of better term and it annoys me+scares me. Can't even share things I like about here anymore. Hoping solarxmoon becomes canon so that anon can shut up already

If Solar Moon became canon, they don't even need to change anything.

The actors don't even need to pretend to kiss or be romanically involved at all.

It's literally as simple as "Oh yeah, we were dating for months, anyway..."

OH AND... FUCK THAT ANON. I know the user you are talking about, I think there's around two or three of them... and it seems like they're dead set on hunting down people who use that Solarmoon or Solar x Moon tag.

Going into popular users in the tsams fandom that I personally don't know... and spreading bad lies and rumors about me.

Like, they typically try to keep it as vague as possible, like "oh I am not talking about dana-chan-the-control-brain specifically....." but they often steal the exact wording and turn of phrase I use.

Cause I have an overly wordy way of talking on the internet.

I've always been this way since I was 15, so I feel my style of speaking is pretty overly wordy, rambly and long compared to most people just because I don't have a lot to share with my opinions with in real life. And I also misspell things a lot cus spellcheck has gotten worse since it became AI trained and it doesn't help my dyslexia.

But how sad is that? That someone is searching out the tag for a ship that they don't like, claim that "it's everywhere" and I'm "poisoning the fanbase" when I'm just.... here... playing with my own dolls, doing my own thing.... and not bothering anyone... Not even putting the ship in the tags publicly because I have Such respect and love for the silly little youtube show, who also plays with fnaf characters like they're dolls.

(just saying.. "bio-organic" and interdimensional travel did NOT come from fnaf I can tell you that much. )

And yeah, if they're really stumbling across Solarmoon or these ships on accident.......Blacklist the tags and move on? Don't come to my messages... Don't harass my friends...

And don't harass other people I DON'T EVEN KNOW because someone just said "hehe but what if they kissed" on the internet?

Like blocklist the tag, and move on.

I know the blocklisting tagging system sucks sometimes, so maybe it's picking up "Solar" like in that case? Just scroll super fast and don't look at it?

And yeah. You don't deserve those nasty messages sent your way at all!

Oh, and if you feel brave enough to reupload your art to tumblr and DM me, I will gladly reblog it here. <3

#danachan's rants #danachan's replies #danachan's asks

[cottoncandyopinions]

If this is such a free fucking country, why the fuck can't we apply informed consent to more things? Why the fuck do I have to beg a doctor and convince him I'm not insane just to get a medication that has a chance at helping me?

Like. I have PCOS. Spironolactone is prescribed for PCOS symptoms caused by androgens, like hair loss, hirsutism, and acne. I have PCOS and I have those symptoms. So why the fuck do I have to debate my doctor into offering it because "Oh but have you tried to lose weight? Here's nutrition guidelines, ask me again in a few months."

Like yeah. Medications have fucking risks. The estrogen in my fucking birth control puts me at a higher risk of stroke and raises my blood pressure, but going on the med that can balance my hormones and lower my blood pressure? Oooooh we gotta think about that.

And what about diagnostic shit too! Not even just medicines! Like yeah I get that you can't give an exploratory major surgery every time someone fucking asks, but why the hell can't I just walk up and just ask for an MRI scan? Or an x-ray? Fucking ultrasound? We gotta have daddy doctor's permission just to CHECK?

And what about fucking CPAP machines? My partner has sleep apnea and it's horrific to learn. You basically have to pay out of pocket for the fucking things even with insurance, but YOU HAVE TO GET A PRESCRIPTION. Okay listen. No one is going to be fucking harmed if they use a machine to help them breathe better at night, even if they don't need it like what the fuck is it gonna do that's a problem?

The claim there is "Oh but you want to be sure you get the right one because some people need extra features" and all I can think is like. Is it BETTER for someone with sleep apnea to have NOTHING AT ALL? That's like denying someone a basic rescue inhaler when there's a formulation that works better, like maybe it's best they DON'T choke.

I just. Idk. I'm not anti medical or anti science. I'm just fucking chronically ill and tired, and there's no help out there. I'm tired of having to deal with doctors making decisions that involve leaving me to suffer when I can't do anything about it.

Like. The main barrier to treatment for my longest term condition is a fucking diagnostic test. I have a muscle condition that makes it impossible for me as is, and physical therapy confirmed it was likely worsened by the pain and inflammation, and the muscle work alone wouldn't fix it.

And they could accommodate me. I've met so many people shocked that they won't, because they were accommodated. A muscle relaxer, a xanax, topical numbing, laughing gas, even putting me under are all options that others in my position have been offered. And I get denied any of those options because "it's not standard" and "you need to suck it up" over involuntary muscle spasms...

I don't care about fucking risks anymore, because is it really any less of a risk to live in pain, feel my body weaken from fatigue and dysfunction, all while there's something in my body actively causing harm to me and I have no way of even knowing how far it's spread, how serious it is, if it's harming my internal organs, anything...

Why the fuck can't I just sign a form saying I understand all the risks and then just ask for what I fucking need? I don't want to sound like I have a big head, but I've never been wrong about this shit. Every fucking issue or problem I spent years trying to convince doctors to listen and look into my concerns, and consistently when they eventually finally do, I turn out to be right. I hate it.

#Endometriosis #Vaginismus #chronic illness #Disability #Chronic pain #Doctors

[yowyowyaoi]

Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Zetsu

If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??

Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.

A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!

Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.

I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.

It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.

From Itachi

It was so good, thank you!

I appreciate the touch of color.

Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓

Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.

The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒

Define “too much” cake 🤔

He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.

I can take them in small doses. 

From Sasori

Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.

You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.

I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.

If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.

I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.

Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.

You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.

Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.

You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.

From Kakuzu

I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.

Thank you, my dear.

Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.

Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.

Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.

Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.

I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.

Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.

If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.

From Deidara

I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛

Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!

We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣

We can both make birds. Paper and clay. 

Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼‍♂️

My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!

Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁

I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.

He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.

From Kisame

There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.

My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.

Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?

No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.

I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.

Please join us for tea?

It’s outside your door. Thank you again.

Zetsu got to him first 😤

Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.

From Tobi

He bit me first!

Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔

He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!

Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?

I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓

Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!

Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌

Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?

No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago 

From Hidan

Yeah but my intentions were good for once!

Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓

Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it 

You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!

Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷‍♂️

We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!

Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍

I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤

Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy 

I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!

From Nagato

The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️

Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.

Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!

Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂

Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.

Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞

No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉

What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?

If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.

My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!

I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what. 

Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊

#konan #text message #texting #the akatsuki #nagakona #nagato x konan #Akatsuki Daily Texts Series #nagato uzumaki #deidara #sasori #kakuzu #hidan #zetsu #tobi #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha

[utilitycaster]

A lot of people who try to analyze religion in Exandria need to watch the Adventuring Academy episode where Brennan and Matt talked about worldbuilding, specifically when Matt said “In a game like dungeons and dragons, or a lot of role playing games where ultimately part of the game is to overcome villains and rise up and become a hero, there has to be some level of universal antagonism… there is a pure and defined entity or force that is evil, it may not be realistic to some stories out there, but that’s [how it works in DND].”

This is true, and it's really interesting to watch this happen because Matt will make a huge, unambiguous evil like Lucien or the Vanguard, or Brennan will do so with Asmodeus and people will do everything they can to try to come up with reasons to woobify them or argue why they're justified...but I haven't seen this happen in most of the D20 seasons, and I think it's because the villains in most D20 seasons have been things that reinforce people's beliefs, namely, capitalism and abuse of religious power. And to be clear, capitalism and abuse of religious power fucking suck, but it's telling that people assume the villain is capitalism in places where that doesn't apply on a wide scale, or in some cases, exist (EXU Calamity, Neverafter); or that the Ruby Vanguard or Tomb Takers, both of which have pretty much every single hallmark of a cult but just aren't affiliated with the main pantheon, are actually the good guys.

Incidentally: this is like, quite literally how people get sucked into cults. One of the leading cult researchers in the world, Janja Lalich, is a survivor of a now dissolved explicitly leftist/anti-capitalist cult. Abuses of power, which is, ultimately, what both Brennan and Matt lean on as their Universal Antagonist traits, rely on confirming people's existing biases and exploiting them - even if those biases are broadly good! This is in fact why I can get so fucking adamant about what is mostly silly fandom shit, because I do, on some level, look at some takes that completely lack critical thinking and am like oh you'd 100% buy into all kinds of dangerous patterns of thought if someone packaged it nicely; even something as stupid as the Caleb Werewolf Theory relied on circumstantial evidence and false information that you could easily verify was false. And it's annoying but mostly harmless in the context of fandom, but it always makes me wonder - does this person do this with political posts on social media?

Anyway getting back to the main point, I think watching/listening to Brennan commentary on Adventuring Academy is generally a really good idea because he is a very smart guy with a philosophy degree and has a strong grasp of the genres in which he works as well as TTRPGs as a storytelling medium, and talks to other people who also have a good understanding of the morality of fantasy stories. And if you listen to this, you will in fact get that the basis of evil in these stories is not something as specific as "capitalism" or "religion"; it's quite literally as basic as "exploiting other people simply because that is an option available to you and you don't care about them." And obviously that's the whole basis of capitalism, and it's a serious problem that exists within organized religion, but like...not to repeat myself from this weekend but I keep thinking about the "Suvi without the imperialism" and it's like...she is a 20 year old woman whose parents died for a cause and we have had ONE episode with her as an adult. We know nothing about the Empire except that it's an empire and it is at war. Like, can you look at imperialism and understand why it's bad? Can you separate the concept of imperalism - which, to be clear, is based on power structures - from say, your 21st century understanding of empires in the real world? Or do you see the word Empire and go "Bad Thing" without any capacity to analyze because that's how you end up looking at two flawed things in a story (well, if we're lucky; see the middle paragraph) and deciding one is perfect and correct for no reason other than because it opposes the thing you think is worse. And Brennan is REALLY good at skewering that, and Matt is REALLY good at portraying multiple complicated and flawed perspectives, but you do have to like, use your brain slightly.

#answered #Anonymous #i'm having flashbacks to when people were like The Dynasty (theocracy ruled by the same person for a millennium) is perfect no notes #simply bc the dwendalian empire was ALSO bad #cr tag #long post

[pintsizemama]

Decorate the Tree

Day 3

Summary: It’s your first official Christmas with your four lovers, and you want it to be special.

Pairings: Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Oberyn Martell, Dave York, & Max Phillips x You, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Oberyn Martell, Dave York, & Max Phillips x Female Reader

Fandom: Triple Frontier, Game of Thrones, The Equalizer 2, & Bloodsucking Bastards

Rating: Mature

Warnings: reference to drinking blood (vampire), polyamorous relationship

Word Count: 743

A/N: This is a continuation of Surprise Trip from the 2021 Christmas Writing Challenge.

Day 2 Day 4 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You glanced tiredly around your now very cluttered living room. You had spent half the day pulling out Christmas decorations, and then shopping for even more. You were excited. This was the first year you were spending Christmas with all the guys. It had been two years since the five of you hooked up in that hotel room. You had held to the decision to meet regularly for more trysts. For over a year the five of you got together at least monthly—more if you could. Sometimes it wasn’t all four of the men, work and life got in the way, but you hadn’t gone more than a few weeks without seeing at least one of them.

After that first year something shifted. Deeper feelings developed, and you all realized you wanted this to be a more permanent arrangement. Basically, a guy at work started to show interest, and you told the guys. You had no interest in your coworker, but you never kept secrets from these men, so you let them know someone was pursuing you while out to dinner one night. They all went very still and quiet. You knew they discussed it when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom because when you went back to Oberyn’s house, they immediately proposed a plan.

They hated the idea of anyone else with you. You were theirs. So, despite all four men being devout bachelors, they committed to you right then and there. A few months ago you all moved in together, and it was absolute bliss.

Oberyn and Dave didn’t have their kids this year for the holidays, so you wanted to make it extra special to take their minds off not being with their children…hence the decoration overload currently inhabiting your living room.

“Holy shit,” a deep male voice startled you from your thoughts. You turned to see Max and Santi had arrived home.

“Oh, thank God you’re here!” You exclaimed in relief. You kissed them both in greeting.

“What happened in here?” Max asked.

“I need your help,” you began. “I want to get this all sorted and the tree up before Oberyn and Dave get home. Then we can all decorate the tree together.”

“You know what? I’m not even gonna ask,” Santi chuckled. “Just tell me what you need me to do.” A little over an hour later the three of you had made a lot of progress. The tree was up and almost everything was organized.

“I’m gonna order some dinner,” Santi said as he glanced at his watch. “They’ll be home soon, and I’m sure they’ll be as hungry as we are.”

“Good idea,” you agreed.

“Max, you eating what we’re having or…something else?” Santi asked.

“I’ll eat with you guys,” he answered. His hot gaze fell on you. “I’ll have ‘something else’ for dessert.” You shivered in anticipation. Max didn’t always feed off of you. He was afraid of going too far and hurting you. But when he did, it felt so damn good. You felt strong arms wrap around you from behind.

“Would you like that, sweet cheeks?” Max whispered in your ear. He ran his nose up the side of your neck. “You want me to suck on this beautiful throat later?”

“Mmm, yes please,” you moaned. Just then you heard the front door open. Dave and Oberyn walked in, their eyes widening slightly at the scene before them.

“Wow,” Oberyn said. “You’ve been busy.” Max dropped his arms so you could rush forward to greet the others. After kissing them both you stepped back and surveyed them. They looked tired, but relieved to be home.

“Are you guys up for some tree trimming?” You asked.

“Of course, baby girl,” Dave said as Oberyn nodded. You clapped in excitement.

“Yay!” You cheered. “This is going to be so much fun.”

“Dinner’s ordered and on the way!” Santi called out. You assigned tasks to everyone, and the five of you got to work. Elf played on the tv and in no time at all the tree was done. Dinner arrived, and you decided to eat in the family room so you could admire the tree. You all sat on floor around the coffee table while you enjoyed dinner.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Your life had changed so much in the last 2 years, and you couldn’t wait to see how much better it would get.

Day 4

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Taglist:

@alexxavicry @amneris21 @awhitewyvern @burrito-stuffs @dreedhudson @fatimaisabelpascal @gioispunk @greeneyedblondie44 @harriedandharassed @hayley-the-comet @hnt-escape @just-here-for-the-moment @kirsteng42 @loompyinaway @maxwell--lord @mishasminion360 @mswarriorbabe80 @my-sweetheart1776 @peach-child @pedrostories @sherala007 @stevie75 @wakaladjarin @xocalliexo @emilianamason @holb32 @mendes-bae @mymindfuckery @nobody @slyterinstuff @trinkets01 @wildmoonflower @wanderlustnightwanderer @wildmoonflower

#Pedro pascal #triple frontier #oscar isaac #bloodsucking bastards #game of thrones #au #equalizer 2 #Dave york #Oberyn martell #santiago pope garcia #max phillips #polyamorous #poly fic #fluff

[the-cookie-of-doom]

im so tired of my school.

There is absolutely no support for the students, we're left to drown at every possible turn. So myself and a few others, after we finished out first year, went hey! Let's start a mentorship program for the new students! (my school only admits on a once-yearly basis).

We were immediately shut down. Because oh, a club being started by one of the assistant instructors (that you have to pay a membership to join) is going to handle that.

Shocker of fucking shocks, 6 months later that still hasn't happened.

I'm the class rep so I have to go to all the faculty meetings, and the rep for the class below mine was there, and specifically asked for a mentorship program bc they are, predictably, drowning. I'm just sitting here like :) baby girl you have no idea :) I'm trying :)

Directly called out that teacher because I hate her, and she was like oh yeah, it's just been super hectic, but dw we're still going to do it! Like Maam, we graduate this year, if you don't get your shit together, there won't be anyone to mentor. And these kids need it now bc after we graduate, we won't be here to help them when things get soul-crushingly hard. The first year is the easy part.

Sigh. So now I'm adopting 27 children, I guess. I just went fuck it and gave everyone my contact info, told them the school sucked, and to reach out. The other rep and I are going to try and organize some king of get together so everyone can really meet each other outside of school nonsense, which I'm sure will be a nightmare bc my classmates are self-centered bitches that don't believe in helping anyone outside of themselves, and the one other person I know would want to get involved, I can't fucking stand.

My school makes things so damn difficult, I stg.

#cookie speaks #i want to help these new students #why does it have to be so hard

[necromancer-4-hire]

Legacy of Kain for fun: Kids Planned, Oops, Denial

(This post is for entertainment purposes; I'm fully aware that vampires in LOK are sterile... Raziel obviously as a wraith. Either way enjoy.)

Kain: Isn't interested in being a father; considering he literally raised six lieutenants from death. Outcome: "Oh you're expecting...well shit fine." You're in good hands and expect to see a new banner hanging from the rafters if you have a son.

Raziel: "Yes have my babies." As a vampire he wants them to carry on his sexy superior genes. Big ass baby shower; swans and freaking servants tending to your every need. (As a wraith Raziel is perplexed...but he does not object your pregnancy... Very laid back but pleased. "I hope they get to keep their jaw and organs at least...")

Turel: This one is definitely planned. Turel won't consummate your relationship and take parental duties until he's sure both of you can handle it. Little does he know that no matter how much he plans you never know what parenthood is going to throw at you. (Outcome: "Congrats Turel you have twins.")

Dumah: "Who wants kids when you have me?" That's Dumah's way of thinking anyhow. Until one steamy night he forgets to be careful. Yes big oops on his part. He freaks out at first but gradually warms up to the idea. Happiest man of the year award.

Rahab: Planned but not stubborn about it. Things happen and if you end up carrying his child then he takes responsibility and marries you on the spot. Responsible but let's nature run it's course. He did choose you after all.

Zephon: DENIAL all the way. "No way that's mine!" As many fledglings as he has you'd think he'd be okay with the idea... Nope. He comes around eventually and sucks it up. That dad that gives his child a motorcycle their first birthday. If you're carrying his child then Zephon knows to step up and take care of what's his.

Melchiah: No way... really??? He's beyond belief but ecstatic. Welcomes the news with open arms and he's not ashamed one bit. He's so happy you're his... Definitely the kind of guy that says: "Let's have another."

Bonus:

Vorador: Are you kidding? He's got babies everywhere. But these are special babies. Since you're his main you will be taken care of and doted on. Not planned and not an accident. Vorador is known to be a good father.

Janos: Planned. Period. Are we ready? Man of tradition and devotional mate. Does everything he can to make you comfortable for when that time comes but freaks out when you're in labor. Pulls a Ricky Ricardo and heads to the hospital and forgets to take you with him.

Sebastian: Oops... considering his busy schedule he doesn't know your carrying his child until your far enough along. He's not object to the result of your love making but that just means he's got to do double time to support that extra mouth to feed. He marries you eventually but just know Sebastian means business and won't let you and his fledgling down.

Marcus: Denial... your mind shouts truth. But Denial. He can't believe it; how could he be so stupid?! Yes he runs... but he looked up to Vorador so much he owns up to the truth. He apologizes and takes care of you and the new addition to your lives.

Faustus: Doesn't take you seriously but caves when he realizes your telling him the truth. He's in shock but accepts the result without any issues. Surprisingly responsible and pleased with himself and you better believe he's not letting you go. Already planned on calling them Faustus II...

Magnus: Definitely an oops. But since he knew he wanted you to begin with it's no surprise that you're expecting. He's a man of his word and will marry you... expect lots of babies though. Absolute family man.

#legacy of kain #lok for fun #Kain #Raziel #Turel #Dumah #Rahab #Zephon #Melchiah #janos audron #Vorador #Sebastian #Marcus #Faustus #Magnus #Babies