#'i will pretend it's only for the sex'

[carrotkicks]

cupid depression edition

#doodles #soukoku #skk #so i started thinking about lore!! #chuuya is a very sad little angel boy who very much wants someone who will love and cherish him #so he starts shooting people with his love spell to see if they'll be the right fit #and he gets dazai who is. incidently. immune to love spells. Dazai's originally in it for the *benefits* but actually likes chuuya soon #so chuuya's worried that dazai's only pretending to like him bc the love spell didn't actually work. #while also trying to grapple the ethics of brainwashing someone into loving him and his own.. dubious morality. #also skk have loads of sex LOL #ahhhh au born from some niche valentines art and the need to see much angel chuuya wings art. #cupid!chuuya vs poor sod he shot!dazai

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

#valyrianscrolls #ned stark #sansa stark #getting on my soap box #there’s something here too about romanticism. like shelley and coleridge and whitman. the need to return to nature to undo society’s harm. #especially with the way various romance movements and romantic tropes are played with by their characters. #i can’t even remember who said it which just shows u how shitty an english major i am aksjd but about how. #like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong. #the gender war makes corpses of us all #gender politics in asoiaf #obviously you can point to several moments for both of them. sansa calling petyr father. ned’s relationship with theon. wherein they both #are clearly performing something for an audience. #there’s like 12 other branches of this in my head. jaime’s romanticism. being knighted bloody & the sacrilegious nature of the sept sex. #and his inability to escape his gender performance the way ned & sansa do. ned being willing to cry in front of others but robb only ever #crying in the dark with his baby brother after he loses ned. cat’s tower stuff & finding solace in sewing. #i’m gonna try to write up something about loras & renly here too. tomorrow. #also i wrote this at the train station after work so if there’s errors or it makes no sense just pretend u never saw it skskdj

[motherfucker-unlimited]

#GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT #Live A Live #only ones left are Gay Sex Kid and Steve the shinobi. and I guess the 8th guy they're pretending doesn't exist

[sweetpapercroissant]

“dean winchester is a misogynist because he lies to women to get them to sleep with him and therefore clearly doesn’t respect them”

then you actually watch the show and every time dean sleeps with a woman he’s soft and there’s a gentleness even in his passion and he always makes sure his partner’s satisfied/comfortable and he does form genuine connections with the women he sleeps with even if he lies about his name and job (which is completely understandable and actually the sane thing to do considering most of america knows him as a serial killer and there’s not a lot of people around who’d bother talking to a guy who claims he hunts monsters for a living) (or for fun ig since there’s not a lot of ‘living’ in this profession) and he spends time getting to know them and offers the little bits of himself that he can and most of the time that dean has sex with a woman he sleeps over and they see him off in the morning with a goodbye kiss and genuine affection for him and if they ever run into him again they’re clearly fond and look back on their shared memories with satisfaction if nothing else and. this is the guy who doesn’t respect women? how? by believing they are adults who can want and enjoy a night of sex with no strings attached (something he’s always straightforward about btw)?? and more importantly it’s always consensual and they like him as a person and they’re clearly both enthusiastic about it (in fact there’s actually instances where dean isn’t completely enthusiastic but never the other way around).

also any time he’s been in a serious relationship where he was going to be a part of the other person’s life he tells them the whole truth, about hunting and monsters and his role in it and what being with him would entail. so i’d say he respects women just fine but maybe you need to seriously evaluate why you feel having casual sex with women is inherently disrespectful of them.

not to mention that the sex does mean something to him. even if he didn’t it wouldn’t be “wrong” or “misogynistic” to want to have sex with a woman without a relationship BUT. the sex does mean something to him. because he craves intimacy and human contact and affection and being liked and wanted and so often when he’s going through something he’ll open up to these women (jaime, anna) and they’re willing to listen to him without judgment and they’re gentle with him, with his grief, his trauma and the sex is a way for him to connect on a deeper level with them and it helps him and he’s spent almost his entire life isolated from society and can’t form long lasting relationships for much of his childhood and youth but he actually cares about them as human beings and he feels affection for them and it fulfills his desire for tenderness that he can’t expect from anyone else. and there’s nothing wrong with any of that.

#this has to be one of the dumbest things i’ve seen people say about it #i mean sure it raises some questions about consent #but even when he lies about his job he never pretends to be a different person than who he is #what you see is what you get with him #and even when he lies about his job with #motive (???) beyond that. information or just flirting (although let’s be honest it’s the former WAY more often than the latter) he never #actually has sex with someone who he thinks might want to sleep with him just because of his job. #that has never happened #sometimes he just likes playing different parts because it’s fun #and there’s nothing wrong with that either #and he isn’t the only character on spn who’s done this so why is this question only raised when it comes to dean? #and #some of y’all straight up have a weird relationship with sex #supernatural #dean winchester #dean and sex #dean meta #.txt

[captainofthetidesbreath]

on some level, you're all kind of lucky I don't talk more about what I think Fjord and Jester's sex life is like

on another level, you're all kind of unlucky I don't talk more about what I think Fjord and Jester's sex life is like

#I have a whole system of thoughts about this #I maintain that they have some of THE nastiest sex in the Nein and that only the Brenattos really can compete there #I think Fjord and Jester have a negotiation list longer than many in the fandom think it is lmao #I believe they're willing to try most things at least once more than some of the other couples (again only Brenattos really compete there) #(relatedly I personally think the other two couples are way more vanilla than the fandom thinks they are) #I also maintain that they have really complex roleplay scenarios that take all day and have a long list of them #Like in my mind Fjord and Jester are that one post about Craig and Weisz #I also fully believe Fjord and Jester love that thing where they go to a bar separately to pretend to be strangers and pick one another up #but with the added thing of disguise self and they have to flirt around to find one another #Critical Role things

[leatherbookmark]

"modern au in which jgy is poor and oppressed" okay, i'm listening! "--and everyone feels bad for him and tries to help him, which is why everyone's shocked and hurt when their favourite Good Guy turns out to be a toxic and phony asshole who's been preying on their good instincts all along" insert that one gif of mark hamill yeeting the lightsaber away over his shoulder because that's precisely what i'm doing with your post/fic in my mind 😔

#shrimp thoughts #i know it's super easy to just take jgy as this guy who has everything under control and only pretends to be affected by the opinion #of the public. BUT HE GREW UP IN POVERTY‚ PEOPLE. if he was rich all along? sure! i'd believe he's faking everything and cheer him on. #BUT HIS MOM WAS A SEX WORKER. can we please agree‚ like on a principle‚ we don't even have to pay attention to all the little details #that the novel peppers in here and there to show you that jgy is NOT liked by everyone‚ can we please agree that it's a bit Rough #to live in a classist society made up of snotty rich people when you're a bastard child with a sex worker as a mother. can we. can we pleas #in anno domini 2024... next year md/zs will be ten years old... come ooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnn

[redysetdare]

Some people don't seem to understand why it's not okay to constantly add on "As long as you're not sex/romance negative" onto every repulsed "positivity" post and I think the best way I can explain it is this:

Remember what Straight people say? "I'm supportive of gay people as long as they don't shove it down my throat!"? Yeah, we all know that's homophobic as shit right? Ok, so I'm going to ask you to look at a repulse "positivity" post and replace Repulsed with gay and sex/romance negativity with straight negativity or something similar. Suddenly it doesn't read so nice, now does it? Suddenly it's "Gay people are valid but make sure you're not shaming people for being straight!" So let me ask: what makes the sentence above worse than people saying the same shit but to repulsed people, On every single post.

The fact so many people feel like they need to Remind repulsed people to "not be dicks" and they never do it to literally any other identity because they would obviously be called out for being hateful... so tell me again, what makes it ok to say that to repulsed people every single time we speak up or get any sort of "positive" post?

#text #aro #ace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #I'm probably gonna get into hot water for this one #but it is the only way I can think of to get it into some ppls heads #at how fucked up constantly doing this to a marginalized identity is #the fact is that it IS done by homophobes and rightfully people call it out #but when people use the same wording but against repulsed folks? suddenly it's fine? it's not a big deal #hon your aphobia is showing. we can tell you don't like repulsed people so stop pretending.

[lover-of-mine]

No but reformed self diagnosed sex addict who's actually just a bisexual disaster that uses sex as a bad coping mechanism to have someone pay attention to him even if only temporarily falling in love with his demisexual best friend who craves the stability of a partnership like the one they have before anything else is actually yet another way Buck and Eddie complete each other's lifes and abandonment issues.

#i haven't posted a delusional 1 am thought in a while #actually is close to 2 #i was legit falling asleep and i had a: #omg buck spent a long time thinking hes only worth was in sex and with eddie and the whole concept of demisexuality #sex is not the goal #it's about everything else that makes Buck Buck before he gets to the sex part #and i was like oh thats a nice thought i need to share #so here #911 #buddie #buddie thoughts #otp: you don't need to pretend with me

[post-futurism]

It is very disappointing to be connected to Australians on this website only to quickly discover they are terfs.

#terfs are so close to discovering that abolishing the gender binary is actually a good thing #this one i just blocked came up with the idea that in a future where there was no gender there would only be sex #and went on to 'support' their argument by saying there would be no pronouns only people with penis or vagina #like how do they not understand those are still pronouns lmao #terfs are so caught up with hating trans women and despairing over trans men that they have forgotten what a pronoun actually is #like this person didn't realise they were creating a binary again based on this fictional idea that there are only ppl with penis or vagina #that there is no inbetween or ability to change whether naturally or socially #and it's so funny because they'll think the binary sex is normalised by nature when it's not!!!! #God #insert that meme where it's a guy on a fashion show criticising someone calling s colour a fancy name #'in a world post gender there wd be no need for nb or trans p bc it wouldn't make sense there would only be two sexes' #shut up. you mean you want to trade one binary for another #you want to revert back to when we didn't fully understand the expansive breadth of being #and pretend that there are no intersex people or even a social contract #terfs are so blind imagine living in a world so restrictive #like abolishing any social binary in a way that recognises multitudes of being is the outcome that will benefit society #not abolishing the gender binary only to fall back on the sex binary #it's the same thing!!! it's the same thing!!!

[bumblingbabooshka]

write to me

#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago) #bee doodles #Tuvok/Janeway #Janeway/Tuvok #st voyager #st voyager art #letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages #Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you #ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night #because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of #hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep) #because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a #tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too #selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against #each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something #steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright) #two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and #to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then #the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make #up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes #to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.) #When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok

[paralien]

The worst thing in the entire world isn't waiting for a planned Talk™; It's having waited for A Talk™ for days and then less than 24hrs before it, the person who planned it asks if you can do a rain check and take it another day

#Im going to tear my skin off. #I'd put away all of tmrw to having my heart (most likely) shattered and now its been delayed to tuesday so now i have to just #pretend monday is a normal day and not the day i thought i was going to (figuratively) die #Feel kind of bad for only replying to all of his texts w just. one liners. no emojis. but im just. so emotionally tired #hes been ignoring me for 2 months. and now he suddenly wants to have a talk and i bet i already know what hes going to say #which isnt going to be “hey ive been worse than awful” which he has been #but instead he'll most likely just say hey sorry i need to work on myswlf and also im moving away and like #i swear i wasnt ignoring you bc i thought abt u while we didnt see eachother for 2 months #and then completely ignore the elepahnt in the room which is that he cant just say. hey im not ready for a relationship. but then: #flirt with me. kiss me. constantly cuddle w me. initiate sex. and then ignore me for 2 whole months and pretend any of that was ok or normal #im just. tired and anxious and feeling so pessimistic. like theres no way up from here

[soldier-poet-king]

WAILS

#it certainly is a monday..... #worried about [redacted] #brain keeps giving me the softest kindest dreams only to wake up and be like. well. time for work #its dark and cold and rainy #usual family bullshit. careee bullshit. etc #im MAYBE getting sick which cant happen i have tattoo work scheduled for Saturday #bro1 (aged 23) is getting his ears pierced and i was giving him advice #and he straight up was like oh im getting both done because just one ear is gay #He said that. to my face. im. #i need to move out. i need to get a s/o. i need to hold hands and go on cutesy little dates SO BAD #i love romance ok. im tired of pretending i dont #i don't really care abt the sex bits like sure itd be nice #but i dont yearn and pine for it like i do the casual romantic intimacy of it all im. im. #WHY IS IT NOT SOFT AND KIND. LIFE SHOULD BE SOFT AND KIND TO ME OK. I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT ROMANCE-FRIENDSHIP #just like. the gentleness. the kindness. the fun. im. going to be SICK #im also sosososo sleepy and sad. #oh the national on repeat for hours we're really in it now #wish we could invent a way to be lonely and wanting that isnt completely cringe!!! #and guilt inducing bc there's bigger problems and i should be helping and doing and not navel gazing about love #and yet!!!!!!!!!!

[furoruisa]

Also Eric was hurt about the cheating so he gets a free pass

BUT THE GIRLS! REALLY AFTER S1 WHITNEY WITH THE CREEPY COACH THEY JUST SAID "don't tell him" "was he drunk?" Like bfr girls, Dan was telling everyone about he and Bela having sex, she's 18/19!! That man is 30 or more!! Aren't we seeing the problem here?

#i know they're young but girls this happened to Whitney!!! #like the red flags let's see the red flags #i need a break #tslocg spoilers #i love them but girls pls see the full picture #also people really saying is what Eric deserves #yeah and Bela? Bela deserves better that to feel like she is a thing and that sex is her only tool #the sex lives of college girls #bela malhotra #sorry guys I'm losing my mind over this #is realistic to ignore your trauma and pretend?yes but i don't want realistic i want Bela to heal

[rey-mazing]

Working on my Obey Me boys designs :> Still deciding how to draw curls for Mammon (the bald one 💀)/Simeon/Raph/Dia and just generally deciding how to draw Beel. Once I'm comfy enough to do some more digital art I'll make the details clearer

#and then. deciding if i want to unwhitewash Solomon or pretend he just stole some white twinks body 💀👍 #cuz if we're going w him being from the bible then bros middle eastern #the sun out there would turn him into a white boy CRISP. be fr solmare #but i also do enjoy his design soooo #also hc that demon teeth regrow/continue growing and are worth good money to witches (canines/fangs esp) #not detailed in the sketches are some non human eye things like asmo hearts etc #satan actually has big fangs but when he bites anyone the bros make him shave them down #yes it gives him a complex. sorry #mammon occasionally has to trade his canines to witches to pay off debt so has gold caps/temps #angels + lucifer all have some extra eyes sometimes (luci only in demon form) #kinda wanna fuck w demon sex anatomy too but we'll see #rn planning to draw Simeon w double sets of feather ears. one set that moves and can cover his face #also gills for levi raaaa #i wanna make my mc a little less human too but still debating how to go abt the whole nephalim thing #also not sm a design thing but to me Satan was born zeus -> athena style and thats part of the cause of lucys chronic migraines 💀👍 #ok done rambling. for now #art wip #my art #🍇 #obey me #obey me fanart #obey me shall we date