#'you want to try some joy

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[hajihiko]

🌤hello again, happiness🌤

(That AU where the boys help Hajime rediscover his feelings, prompted on Instagram)

#Idk what else to call it so I'm just reusing the insta caption #Hajime hinata #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Kazuichi Souda #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #Kuzuhinasouda #Based on a real even where I almost cried on the bus bc I was watching all the people out in the sun and about to see my friends #And I got Happy Emotions (rare) and sometimes the body just responds with Liquids. #A gross way to say: why dont you try absorbing the friendship and nature around you and maybe you'll start to relearn joy. #Do NOT say anything about Hajime looking like a pokemon trainer. I swear I will delete this and recolour it #SOME OF US NEVER PLAYED OK I WANTED HIM TO WEAR A CAP #Lost and Found AU

[aurosoulart]

one of the things I wasn't prepared for as a trans person in a big industry was the absolutely OVERWHELMING emotions around being accepted for who I am. ;__; some highlights from the past couple months:

a prominent speaker at a UK media company showing my work to his son, casually saying: "Do you like this picture? Ewan drew it." I've never spoken to this man, but he respects me enough to not only show my work to his child - but to future students as well. these kids are going to grow up knowing the work of a publicly trans artist, and with any luck it will be normal to them.

Tilt Five publicly replying to my TDOV post with THIS, from their official corporate account.

Tilt Five also featuring me in a blog post on their website, and using they/them pronouns!!!!

and even more Tilt Five positivity: being INVITED TO DEMO IN-PERSON AT GDC FOR HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. I'm in this picture but you can barely see me because of the crowd. again, I'm visibly trans here - long hair, stubble, voice deepened by testosterone... and it was a non-issue.

and lastly: not only being able to publicly fundraise for LGBTQ+ causes like the Club Q healing fund without fear, but actually receiving support & donations from my employer while I do so. technically, I get PAID to fundraise as long as I use Figmin XR, like with Cover The World With Flowers!

and that's just a handful of examples!!! there was also the whole getting accepted into AR House thing (where I'm one of MULTIPLE trans people in the community), and then PERFORMING LIVE at the Marriott HQ, and then my art making it onto Adam Savage's youtube channel???!?!

I keep saying this, but I legitimately don't have words for the level of gratitude I feel. I've had other trans folks reach out and say that my visibility gives them courage, which makes me want to fight even harder to show that trans joy is REAL and POSSIBLE and that there is still so much love, despite everything.

I don't want to take for granted that it is still very much radical to just exist publicly as a trans person - and even more radical to exist publicly as a HAPPY trans person. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared being in this position, but at least I know I'm not alone. there are still so many good people fighting for us.

#auropost #lgbtq #lgbt #trans #trans pride #trans joy #trans positivity #idk what else to tag this as i'm just feelin Feels yknow #thank you if you've read this far it means a lot to me #i've been wanting to make this post for awhile but kept getting overwhelmed thinking about it #but the news about what's happening in florida and also like. other red states and anti-trans legislation #just totally took me out last week #so i wanted to try and put some good out there to fight how hopeless it made me feel #things hurt but there's still love. there's always love!!!!!!!

[electricmaimer]

"i dont care if people who havent read the books get spoiled for the show" <- words of a person i now want to bite and yell at

#BE FUCKING NICE #A LOT OF THEM ARE CHILDREN??? THEY EITHER HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO READING THE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO YET #OR #ADDITIONALLY IT IS 2023. THE WORLD IS DIFFERENT AND MEDIA IS BEING ADAPTED FOR NEW GENERATIONS #TRY HOLDING SOME WONDER AND JOY IN YOUR HEART AND THINK ABOUT HOWW FUN IT IS TO EXPERIENCE A STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME #STOP SPOILING SHIT ON PURPOSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT CRIMES❤️ #literally dont be a spiteful dick and stop ruining things for fun or because you want to gatekeep and have a superiority complex #fuck uou i would personally give ANYTHING to get to experience this story for the first time again #and watching people ruin in in real time for people experiencing it for the firdt time. i hate you #ypure all extremely selfish and shortsighted for doing this whole 'yeah but the books have been out for forever.. :/' bs #absolutely giving yourself away as a fucking clown with no ability to gain anything positive from shared joy. get well soon #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo show #percy jackson show #pjo tv show #eeanpost #ALSO THE FUCKING AUDACITY FOR THE FANBASE OF A BOOK SERIES ABOUT KIDS STRUGGLING WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES TO YELL AT PEOPLE FOR NOTREADING #DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YPURSELVES ???? WHAT THE FUCK??? THE STORY IS MORE ACCESSIBLE NOW. THAT IS A GOOD THING. HTJSJJTJFJG

[ganondoodle]

in all honesty, im feeling a bit burned out on totk, the more i think about it the more i dislike its story and lore, i dont know what to make of it it being so loved by everyone else makes me feel like theres something wrong about me :/ gonna try and take a step back from it all

#ganondoodles talks #i also feel kinda dumb #bc i feel like im both not reading as much into everything as smarter people can #but also am trying to look into it all too deep #like i know nintendy made the game with lots of love and care but i #i cant help but sometiems even feel outright insulted by some of the choices they made #like the continuity problems with botw #man i loved botw so much and i feel kinda stepped on for caring so much about it #is this whats it always like when a new thing for your hyperfixation releases? #its happened with multiple of my past interests... #if i wrote an more about it i just feel like im being hateful - which im not trying to be #i just feel like -fuck me for caring this much- #part of why i was hyped about totk was bc i thought theres gonna be lore and design stuff i can use for my fanworks #but honestly i feel like i dont want to use anything of it #i know usually when you feel like you are the only one feeling like that you are not #but still i feel like im the only one that thinks this game is so .... weirdly disconnected #...almost like spinoff dare i say #nothing fits together #..... i miss koga #everytime i met him i was filled with joy #:(

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[taz-clark]

there's an dinosaur MMO i like playing (Path of Titans) and with most games like that, the global in-game chat gets pretty fucking toxic.

so i've been running a lil experiment the last two weeks whenever i play.

there are ways within the game that you can help other players. for sure you can ignore those and just go out and fight/kill everyone you come across, killing other players is a major factor of the game and one im not trying to stop. the combat is fun. But i've been purposefully going out of my way to help ppl. most times, its at a loss to myself, as the best way to help is to let other players kill me. this gives them a reward which helps in the long run.

it took a few days for ppl to start catching on that i was indeed there to help and not lead them into a trap. a week and i had ppl actively seeking me out whenever i log in, politely asking if i could help them.

now, a little over two weeks later, the trend of kindness i've been streaming ahead with has caught on. there are now others doing the same as me. offering up themselves to help ppl, encouraging fellow players. dozens of ppl will now speak up to confirm that I am indeed there to help whenever a player has doubts about my intentions. I see ppl having friendly conversations in chat instead of just swearing at each other. I can now go to some of the most "asshole" players that everyone knows for being ruthless and just peacefully hang out with them.

the server as a whole is just much nicer.

are there still toxic ppl? for sure. but ppl are just as willing to show each other kindness as they are to knock each other down.

take from this what you will. but its shown me that my efforts arent a waste. that kindness is not a waste of time.

#you can say im wasting my time all you want #but im going to keep being nice to others #it brings me joy #and fuck it all i need some fucking joy #i might not be doing well but im not letting that stop me from trying #path of titans #dino mmo #kindness

[dailykugisaki]

Day 127 | id in alt

They hangin out on a building fr.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #tokyo trio #PEEP THE NAILS YALL #i had to draw Kugisaki with a watermelon sometime it's a thing of its plus i just wanted to state the obvious of where i stand again #i got into an argument with the politician major again yall #i dont wanna say anything out of context but they just said something extremely tasteless and it pissed me off a bit #thinking about the fact i watched a fucked up rose bush strangle another plant and thinking about Kugisaki like a freak #all plants can be a little weird #i enjoy drawing Kugisaki with scars. she deserves them #a friend drew Kugisaki earlier and i had never felt so much joy before. #everyday i am taken aback because i think of Kugisaki in lost beloved one movie scenes its dumb as shit #I DO NOT WANT KUGISAKI TO JUST SHOW UP OUT THE DAMN BLUE I WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING INSANE AND THEN SHOW UP #i cant elaborate because idk soul cannibalism for some reason idk ifk #Kugisaki's fit is like just a different colored fit of what i saw megan thee stallion wearing #famous people can rock shit if you find the right ones #im trying to do backgrounds more and i do refrence but what i do is called “getting references and then fucking it up” #i dont get down yall i fuck up #Nanami cameo because i just wanted to draw him looking technologically incompetent when it comes to face timing #ive just been tweaking as of late #ive been reading too much where people think Kugisaki barely knows anything due to her origin #YALL THINK SHE WOULDN'T DO A BUNCH OF SHIT OR LEARN SHIT JUST FOR FUMI??? WILDING OUT HERE #just realized why i can't do backgrounds in a certain way. its bc i dont do lineart.....

[tricoufamily]

once again thinking about how easy it would be for me to be in a relationship if i was cis

#cis woman cis man either way #dude in the neighborhood has a crush on me telling me i'm beautiful like 'thanks! i will go home and cry now' #i fucking hate being trans i wish i wasn't lol #and sometimes i feel like i can't talk about this anywhere bc in a lot of trans spaces it's like. taboo? to express anything but positivity #as if me being honest about how i feel about myself is somehow how i feel about every single trans person jesus christ but whatever whateve #like listen peace and love but i need you to do me a favor and promise me you will not come at me with any 'transness should be about joy' #i know you mean well i know you're right. but transness for me /is/ pain and sorrow. that's all it's ever caused me my entire life #you have to remember that i'm from rural appalachian tennessee with a transphobic family #some of the most deeply rooted self hating repression for years just for. more honest self hatred #i've never admitted this before but i've considered detransitioning and repressing because of transphobia many times #i'm not brave i'm not strong i'm not trying to make some grand statement or be the voice of a generation. i just want to Be. you know #i just got really really unlucky #but i can't repress. i know that would be even more miserable so i'm just. trapped. forever #who i want to be forever out of reach like tantalus or something i don't know #i want to be loved #or maybe i should just watch the batman again

[willowser]

Random question but how many asks do u get on average? I’m asking a bunch of other blogs too

so—i'm not going to answer this question !! quite simply bc i think that, in the era we're in within our fandom and in our community and in our niche, i think that numbers have the potential to cause more grief than good, and on the off-chance that someone sees a number in our little corner here and ever uses it as a comparison to their little space—i would be devastated.

but !! i do want to take the time to say that i try to answer every ask i get with similar levels of enthusiasm, and if i haven't answered your question and you know that it sent—i am coming !!! i am on the way !!! i want to chat with you about your ideas !! but it just takes me a lil more time bc i want to make sure i'm returning the effort that you gave me 🩷 and a lot of times, i like to keep some of the sweet things yall take the time to say to me—to myself ! before i share them with everyone 🩷 so if i haven't responded yet, i'm holding your hand in mine !! and thinking of what to say 😌

#a lot of times i am also trying to figure out something to write back in response #like little multi-part things i will sometimes specifically continue in asks #like the kidnapped one !! #i have so many asks about it and i want to continue our thoughts in your messages #so i'm writing too !! #but back to the main point #the numbers game is dangerous i think !! #it has the potential to cause some joy #but i think it is ultimately fleeting #and the sadness that it can bring sticks around a lot longer 🥺 #anon dear i'm not intending to use you as any example and i'm sorry if it comes across that way !! #i just wanted to use this little moment to share something related that has been on my mind a lot lately #✿ ask willow

[weepylucifer]

It's fascinating to me that the phasmid was apparently able to plant suggestions in Dros's mind but she somehow never suggested he should just stop doing all this bullshit and go talk to other human people

#posts by me #i have evidence for the suggestion planting but i can't be assed to go on fayde rn. maybe tomorrow #the things she seems to have suggested that i noticed are: #''bring klaasje some flowers to console her abt killing her boyfriend (a thing you independently did)'' #''steal klaasje's passport'' MAYBE (either the phasmid made dros steal it or took it herself it's unclear) #and ''do not kill yourself'' (this one was repeated as often as it took) #at NO point did she say hey you might want to go spend some time with other people #or she did try and his mind resisted #imagine tho. ms phasmid being like ''what about that man you watch play petanque all the time. don't you want to go play with him'' #and dros being all ''NO i want to KILL HIM and NOTHING ELSE stop NAGGING ME'' #ah yes the joys of bug wife and human husband

[soldier-poet-king]

Wahhhhhh

The tldr is my boss couldn't go to this meeting today so I got sent to represent our archive, and I was the only archivist there in a group of professors and PhD students (whose research is tangentially related to the contents of the archive) and I'm just ahhhh

On the one hand, it was great, sitting around a table talking research for a few hours over lunch, it's all the best parts of grad school seminars and I've missed having those kinds of discussions IMMENSELY and it feels like a missing piece of myself has been returned. Even just from mostly listening for the duration.

On the other hand. The sense of imposter syndrome not being a Real Academic. And the sense of loss and regret. Yes yes I didn't go for my PhD because health, finances, awful job prospects for classicists. But I LOVED grad school. I love my MA and learning and studying and being a student. I miss it terribly, even though I'm good at and enjoy my profession.

Even had health/finances not been a concern, I'd never have been able to decide on a focused research topic for a dissertation. My interests are too broad. They're not even limited to classics. I'm bouncing between life changing academic interests constantly, and each one is foundational and obsessive, in its own way. I joked to Atlas this week that I was supposed to be born a foppish renaissance dilettante, but it's not even really a joke.

I know. I KNOW. My unlived lives aren't real. They shouldn't haunt me. The me that exists is de facto the best version of me because it's the ONLY me that exists. And life doesn't have to be perfect it just has to be Good. And it is good. But also. Why can't I be a full-time student just learning, never having to publish, but also an archivist and information professional, but also a mutual aid volunteer and praxis oriented person, and Also have time for hobbies like crafting and novel reading and video games, and things like cooking and gardening and strength training.

I'm aware that harmonizing and coming to peace with the multitudinous aspects of the self is the work of a lifetime but also I want it to happen /now/

#the duality of fran #your probably asking. fran. can you got THREE DAYS without the navel gazing obsession with your own selfhood and realization as a person #and without obsessing about the purpode and telos and fulfillment of ur own existence #the answer is. no ❤️ #ahhh itll be ok im just. boooooo reminded of all the things i try not to think abt #life is so short! life is so long! #i am so tired. too tired for even a fraction of the life i want to live #yknow the usual typical person who didnt think they would live this long and would definitely kms before this #so now its like. i gotta learn to live. i have to find out what i want. and the answer is apparently. i want everything #yes its part pride and ambition #but its also wonder and joy and awe and curiosity #why do i have to pick ONE thing. where there is SO much out there #life is too short for all the marvels of the universe #and i am too much a dilettante for it all #oh it is a good world and good life #some days i am just. afraid of the hunger for it all

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Here’s my messed up attempt at a horse (without references)

The legs tho

I mean

You're right about the legs going on for days lmao

I love your horse sdfsfs

#you see they are an anatomical nightmare #haha nightMARE lmao #I wanted to be on my laptop to answer this both to add a picture of an actual horse #and to add my own first attempt from before I said I was gonna learn to draw horses properly #(and then only tried like twice) #however I realised that I've. done a lot of horse stuff in my life and that was not the first time I'd broken it down into basic shapes- #and stuff so like. I realised it wouldn't be a fair comparison dsfdsf #I have a first otter attempt though from when I'd never drawn an otter before! #looks like a fuckin' dog! #drawing things you've never drawn before blind is really fun honestly #it's a laugh!! and then you try again after some tracing and some references and you're like #'wow... that looks SO much better' and it's great #but that first drawing is always fun to make I personally find it hilarious when I'm doing it #god I love this stuff ddgdfsg #i love your leggy horse it very much sparks joy #pop rox answers #friend art

[iqmmir]

i dont think i did much today except study and talk to maybe three people.... hmm....

#i also drew a little.. #im trying to draw my ocs more #ive mainly shown mimigram characters here but i think my interest in milgram is um. dying #well my interest in everything is dying so whats new #and being the self absorbed person that i am only the what i have created is bringing me any sort of joy #and even then i hate it #sighh #do you the main reason i don't want anyone to know my birthday is cause i am an incredibly selfish and horrible person?? #anyways thats not important #whats important is um #idk #go drink some water thats important #.mimiming ❜

[victoriartdrawings]

fanfic rec post tomorrow maybe???👀

me to all my fandom ships knowing perfectly i wont have the time to do even 1 for at least one pairing til next week 🤡

#percabeth #snowbaird #anidala #zutara #hiccstrid #so much more ships name to add (like REALLY) these tagged ships are just some my brain is currently obsessed with this week #my next obsession next month???? idk yet 💀 my head is weird. like often #rn im mostly frustated with myself and feel a little bit useless be.cause. it takes so much time!!! but i want to do it #but i dont #so my brain says to me DWE IT YOU LAZY USELESS PROCASTINATING ASS!!!! #like first i have to remember the fic #then scroll through my 7000 downloaded fic folder. a nightmare 💀most of the time i dont remember the title but only the period #where i was obsessed with them (also hell because my multiple obsession with a ship always leave and then come back 2 or 6 months later 🤡 #so sometimes I find myself downloading 2 or 3 times the same fic🤡) #(ALSO some its been 4/5 years since i read them so i let u imagine the headache i get trying to remember lol) #then class them by long fic one shot - theme etc...while re-reading fast some of them bc my memory is shit #and AFTER ALL THAT i write the actual commentary for each one of them and remembering what my experience reading it was like #because personal commentary that made people laugh and want to read the fic recommended make me so happy for the author!!!! #ALSO I MOSTLY JUST LOVE SHARING MY READING EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS!!!!! SO MUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS! #but then real life is like no.not today. and indeed. not today. #fanfic rec #fanfic #reader #fandom

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes