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pluto-writes · 4 years

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Drunken Confessions| Haru Kato

A/n: I needed a drunk, blushing Haru in my life, say thank you to episode four everyone. Also, I just realized my birthday lands on the same day ep 5 comes out (〃^∇^)ﾉ very happy about that. (I know I said requests are closed but;;; if any Haru fans wanna... you can.) Not proof read, I’m tired and just wanted this done.

Words: 3k

It has officially been two years since you’ve joined the Modern Crime division, and to celebrate your accomplishment, your colleagues decided to have a small gathering for you.

Everyone was congratulating you, and praising you for your service and dedication for the past couple years. It warmed your heart knowing how much everybody cared about you. Mahoro even brought you some of your favorites candies as well, and it definitely made your night so much better.

It all ended too soon for your liking, but it was getting late and everyone still had to go to work early the next morning. The only person who hasn’t left yet was Kato Haru, a fellow co-worker of yours who started working in the same division not that long before you. You guys had that in common, and naturally drifted towards each other.

Now that you think about it, you hadn’t seen much of him tonight. You didn’t realize that earlier since you were too busy being surrounded by people.

“You’re not leaving, (L/n)-san?”

“No,” you answered, walking around the room collecting the leftover trash left laying about, “I’m gonna hang back and clean up. It’s the least I can do since everyone was kind enough to host a party for me.”

“Then I’ll help you too,” you heard the sound of wood clattering. You looked over to where you heard it and saw Kato grabbing a broom and dust pan.

Dumping the empty cans and used napkins into the garbage, you went over to him and attempted to take the supplies from him, “It’s fine, Kato-san. Really. I can do this myself.”

“It’s no problem,” he shook his head at you. “Plus, I can’t ignore someone in need of help!” He flashed you a pure smile as he continued to sweep the floor. You can’t believe how generous he was sometimes.

He always made a point of helping others, even when it wasn’t necessary, or didn’t benefit him in any way. Maybe that’s why you fell for him so hard.

Taking a deep breath to calm your beating heart, you responded with a simple, “Thank you.” And continued with your cleaning. You tried your best to not invade his personal space, being alone with him and doing something so domestic as cleaning reminded you of things old married couples would do together.

After a couple minutes, the room was back in its original state. You had to admit, if Kato didn’t help you, it would've taken you longer to finish.

“You did a good job cleaning,” you commented. He was both fast and efficient, it wasn’t a half assed job.

His face grew red from the compliment, “It’s nothing. Just something I learned since I live alone,” he rubbed the nape of his neck nervously.

“I see…” The atmosphere grew slightly awkward since you couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Well, I’ll be going now, Kato-san. Thank you for all your hard work.”

“Actually…” He called out right before you left, “I was wondering if you’d want to come to my place.” You stared back at him, confused as to why he would suddenly invite you to his apartment. Unless he meant- “N-not in tha-that way, o-of course! It’s just that…” He cleared his throat before speaking again. “I have a bottle of soju for you and I left it home.”

“Is that all? Then you can just give it to me tomorrow, there’s no need to trouble yourself.”

“It won’t be any trouble at all. Besides, it’s for you to celebrate this occasion. Wouldn’t be much of a gift if I don’t give it to you the day of.”

Knowing how stubborn he was, and how he won’t let this go, you agreed with him and followed him back home. The walk there was peaceful, and conversation seemed to flow more easily now that you were out of work.

There were a few times where you caught yourself walking too close to him that you felt his hands graze past yours, you had the urge to hold his hand and keep walking like nothing happened. But you refrained yourself from doing so, he was a co-worker, and it would be unprofessional to do so.

The two of you finally made it to his apartment, you trailed behind him as you walked up the stairs. It was a normal apartment complex, rightfully sized for someone who lived alone.

Once you reached the door, Kato unlocked it and stepped inside. “You can wait here, it’s too cold to wait outside.” He started to take off his shoes, and placed them on the floor, then ventured further into his apartment.

You listened and waited for him at the entrance hall. This was your first time at his place despite knowing him for two years, it had just never come up. You took everything in, it was a tad messy but you knew that just meant it was well lived in.

Looking around more you saw some magazines laying on the table, and all his pots and pans hanging on the kitchen wall. ‘That’s right… he can cook too. I wonder if I’ll be able to try it one day.’

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” his voice broke you out from your thoughts. “Here you go.” He handed the bottle of soju in a bag over to you with a smile. You smiled back at him.

“Thank you, Kato-san.” You peered into the bag, and saw how much he had actually given you. The bottle was huge! You thought it would be those 12-ounce bottles.

Your shock must have been visible since he asked you, “Do you not like the flavor I picked out?”

“No, no. That’s not it all. It’s just a lot of alcohol. Especially considering that I don’t think I’ll be able to drink all of this by myself.”

“Let’s open the bottle now then! It’ll be a lot less lonely if we drink it together. And I can see your reaction when you try it too!” He got himself excited thinking about it. “You can leave your shoes here, and wait for me at the table. I’ll bring some shot glasses and something to snack on as well.” He walked off towards his kitchen.

You checked the time on your phone, ‘Just one drink won’t hurt, would it?’ You thought as you bent down to take off your shoes, and left them neatly against the wall.

You walked to the table and sat down on the floor. Curious, you opened the bottle and took a whiff. It didn’t smell strongly of alcohol, it smelled more like something fruity. But you knew that was deceiving and wouldn’t want to drink too much of it.

Turning the bottle around, it revealed the sticker on the front that showed a picture of a strawberry. “So it’s strawberry flavored… hm…”

“Yeah,” Kato came back, placing a plate filled with snacks on the table, then put a shot glass in front of you and one in front of him. “Have you tried it before?”

“No. I don’t drink that much, so this will be my first time drinking soju too.” You gave the bottle to Kato, and allowed him to pour some into your cup. Once it was filled, you took the cup and waited for him to fill his own.

“Then I’m honored to share your first drink of soju. This stuff is really good.” After his cup was filled, he lifted the glass towards you, “For two years!”

“For two years!” You cheered after him and clicked your glasses together. You drank the liquid, and felt it run down your throat. It didn’t give you a burning sensation as other drinks do, and tasted pleasant. You could totally see yourself drinking more, but you knew that if you did you’d regret it the next day. “This tastes really good!”

“Right!?” He began to pour himself a second cup, “I usually don’t get this one for myself, but I figured you’d like it.” You were still on your first cup, you wanted to take it slow and savor it. You could always drink more another day. You could feel yourself start to loosen up with the alcohol in your system.

You continued talking with Kato, and saw him slowly start to lose his filter. You were right to not drink too much, he seemed like the type to handle his alcohol, but his face got flushed with each couple sips and his words began to slur together.

It was cute seeing his composer dissolve, since he’s always professional at work and took his job seriously. Getting to see this side of him was worth

“Ugh.. And don’t get me started on Kambe… He’s insufferable.” He mumbled into his glass as he drank more, “Thinks money is the answer to everything.” You guys somehow got onto the topic of your colleagues, giving your opinions on them and retelling stories about them that made both of you laugh.

Before he could rant more about Kambe, you interrupted him. “Can I ask you something, Kato-san?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve been thinking, we’ve worked together for a while. And we’re somewhat close, right?” He nodded along to what you were saying. “Can I call you by your first name?” He froze as you said that, and covered his face with his hand.

“Ah! Uhm…” His face grew hotter.

“I understand if that’s too much! It’s just that, the Chief calls you by your given name. You can call me by my first name too!”

He averted his eyes, “D-don’t… Don’t tease me like that…”

“What do you mean?”

“When you say stuff like that... It gives me hope.” He laid his head on the table, his cheek resting against the cool wood. “It makes me think that I’m not reading anything wrong… That you might like me back…”

“You like me!?” You asked, shocked. “I’m sure there are other people who are much better than me.”

“Tha-that’s not true! Not one… one bit! You are an amazing person!” He sat up in his seat, and used his hands to prop himself on the table. “You make me want to improve myself.. And do right by you…”

He leaned over the table, his face closing in on yours, close enough that you can smell the faint scent of alcohol from his breath. “There are too many reasons to list…” With him directly in front of you, you could see how clouded he eyes looked from the liquor.

He brought his face in front of yours, and closed the remaining distance between your lips. His lips locked onto yours, and he pressed deeper into the kiss. Stunned by the abrupt kiss, your mind didn’t register what was happening until a couple seconds later.

“Wa-wait!” You shoved him off of you. He whined at the loss of contact, and breathed heavily as he regained his breath. “We shouldn’t be doing this! You’re drunk right now! I don’t want to take advantage of that.”

“Ah…” He touched his lips, “Your lips felt so soft…” The blush on his face intensified. Deciding that enough was enough, and that you wanted to stop anything further from happening, you stood up and went to his side.

“Haru.” You said sternly, your eyes strict, clearly showing you meant business.

“Y-yes!?”

“I think it’s time you went to bed.”

“Bed!?” His eyes widened. “(L/n)-san! Don’t you think this is going too fast!?”

“Not us. Just you. You’ll thank me later when you’re more sober.” You picked him up from under his arm and guided him to his bed, and gently laid him there. “Go to sleep.”

“Huh? But I’m … I’m not tired…” Knowing that was bullshit with the amount he drank, you humored him until he eventually fell into a drunken stupor.

You pulled out your phone and looked at the time, “It’s way too late to leave now…” You said to yourself. “I guess I can fix things up around here.” You checked on Kato again to make sure he was sleeping before you cleaned up the table and carefully stashed the strawberry soju, just in case he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to drink more.

Once you finished clearing the table, you headed towards the kitchen. “Pardon the intrusion.” You looked in the cabinets to find a cup and to hopefully find a cloth of some sorts. After you found a cup, you filled it up with water and placed it on the table next to his bed.

“I still need to find something to put on his head…” You whispered to yourself, “The bathroom maybe? And I could probably find some painkillers as well.”

You opened the door to his bathroom, then opened the mirror cabinet that was above the sink. You ended up finding a bottle of Advils. ‘Jackpot.’ Twisting the cap open with a satisfying pop, you took out two gel pills. As you were putting everything back in its place, you caught sight of a hand towel laying on top of the rim of the bathtub.

You grabbed the towel too, so that you can use it to cool him down. Now back at his side again, you placed the two pills next to the glass of water, so when he woke up he’ll see it and take them.

With a sigh, you walked back into the kitchen and ran the hand towel under cold water. You yawned as you made it back to Kato, and gently sat the cool towel on his forehead. He was still knocked out, and lightly snored with every exhale.

Tired from everything that had happened today, you became drowsy, and watched as his chest rises and falls as he breathes. You eventually fell asleep, your head resting on his mattress.

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Sunlight shined past the curtains and hit Kato directly in the face, “Ugh..” He groaned as he sat up. “My head is killing me…” He rubbed his face, trying to collect his thoughts from last night. His eyes then landed on you, your body was splayed across the floor next to his bed. “(L/n)-san...?”

He got out of his bed too fast, causing his blood to rush to his head and face plant onto the floor next to you. The thud of his body woke you up from your slumber. “Mmh…? You up yet, Kato-san?”

“You can say that…” He sat up straight on the floor, “My head hurts even more now…”

“Oh,” you peeled yourself off the floor and picked up the water and pills, “here.”

“Thank you,” he quickly popped the pills into his mouth and drank the water.

“You probably won’t feel better for another hour or so... “

“It’s fine…”

You shuffled in your spot, feeling awkward by what had taken place the night before. “Uhm… Kato-san, can I borrow your kitchen? I can make you something to help with your hangover.”

“Hangover…? That’s right, we drank together didn’t we?”

“Mhm,” you agreed. “You more so than me though.” You stood up and walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what you could make.

“What do you mean?”

Choosing to at least spare him of the embarrassment, you left some of the truth out. “You got really drunk, and started ranting about our co-workers.”

“I- I didn’t say anything weird, did I?” He asked you worriedly.

You pretended to think about it, “Hm...No. I don’t think so.” You took out a few ingredients before you spoke again. “You can go take a bath while I cook. You wouldn’t want to show up to work smelling like alcohol.”

“Right… I’ll go wash up.”

He left his spot and headed towards the bathroom. After he left, you let out a deep breath. “Ahhh!” You covered your face with your hands, “How am I supposed to face Kato-san now!?” You graced your bottom lip with your finger, “His lips… were soft too… But I can’t tell him about that! I’d die due to humiliation!”

While you were contemplating on what to do, you failed to notice the footsteps closing in on you. “(L/n)-san?”

Startled by his voice, you jumped. “K-kato-san! What are you doing?”

“Oh, I forgot to take my clothes with me,” he gestured by shaking them in his hand, “and I wanted to make sure you were able to find what you needed.”

“Yeah, I found what I needed. Thank you for checking in on me.” He went back into the bathroom, and you heard the sound of the water running follow after. “I can’t make it obvious, or he’ll catch on. He’s really good at reading people. All I can do now is finish cooking breakfast, head to work, and throw myself into the void, to never be seen again.”

A few minutes later, Kato came out of the bath with a towel around his neck, his hair was still dripping. “You were right, (L/n)-san. I did thank you later.”

You glanced over to him, “See, I told you so.” You arranged the food neatly on the plate and placed it on the table.

He put his hands together, “Thanks for the food!”

You repeated after him, “Thanks for the food.”

Kato took a few bites of the food and smiled at the taste, “This is really good! You really are an amazing person.” You dropped your food as he said that. ‘Shit, he knew. He had to have known.’

“Umm… Kato-san… I-”

“I hope you know I really meant it, even if I was drunk. And what happened about calling me Haru,” he smirked at you, “(Y/n).”

“H-haru…” You tested his name out, still nervous about everything that’s happening. “I think you’re an amazing person too…”

“Glad we’re on the same page now. Let’s finish the food before it gets too cold, I wouldn’t want to put your cooking to waste.”

#fugou keiji balance: unlimited #Haru Kato #kato haru #fugou keiji balance: unlimited x reader #haru kato x reader #haru katou x reader #haru katou #fugou keiji x reader #plutowrites #the things I do for you haru :/#alternate caption was gonna be; no thoughts head empty only haru kato #rip to my 2 request I'm sorry but it's haru....#kato haru x reader #katou haru x reader #sidenote: i dont like fish and i dont think i ever will but #if he made me his kato family special with the tuna and bonita flakes i will greatfully eat that #thanks for coming to my tedtalk

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rubidusmagnet · 4 years

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Dirty Things Kept Secret 18+ KidLaw-> LawKid (1/2) ch

Just Bi guys being Bi, nothing to see here unless you want too.... anyways, this idea stems from the recent thread with @ikkaku-of-heart (It’s Thanks to you this came out) So If you read through that, you’ll get to see what Kid does to Law’s tats among other things in as great a detail I could manage. Naughty stuff under the cut If it actually works this time around.

"The fuck is this crap?" Eustass Kid spit his mouthful of booze all over the bar counter he sat at, angrily swinging the mug in the air to indicate openly to the bartender his unsatisfaction of the quality or rather lack of, their alcohol flavoring. Clearly scared by the Redheads rant, the scared witless young man hurried over with a rag to clean the mess up before skittering back to other customers who gave Kid a wide berth in stool room. 'Screw them for pissing their pants over me, If they can't even handle the likes of me, they'll never hope to handle worse customers.' As if the gods above heard his angry mutterings of cowardly patrons, a certain smooth baritone reached his ears from near the entrance of the tavern. "Oi Eustass-ya I see your ugly mug still repels everyone around you."

lifting his gaze so that he can meet Trafalgars golden one, Kid grinned, "Its's bout time your ass showed up, I almost thought you dropped dead or something." merely amused at the jab to his tardiness, law explained "It couldn't bet helped, It was hard enough being able to get away from my crew so that we could rendezvous here."

It really couldn't, just recently because both crews have been meeting each other frequently on islands leading up to the end of paradise, both captains had declared the beginning of their secret trysts in order to let off any steam or frustration they might have from being on the seas for a while. They had agreed that the details of these meetings would not be revealed even though Kid at least wanted to be able to brag about how he banged the Heart Pirates captain it was considered a moot point and so he reluctantly dropped the topic in favor of maintaining a sexually beneficial relationship.

Both scarlet and gold eyes flashed in knowing of the fun that was about to begin. "So shall we take this 'discussion' elsewhere Eustass-ya?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth, but you're still as mannerless as always bastard."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Both men hardly entered the rented hotel room before Kid swiftly turned to harshly shove Laws back up against the door, being sure to use his other hand to lock the door behind him so that they wouldn't potentially have any interruptions. And just as harsh as the shove, Kid ducked down to crash their lips together aggressively. dark lipstick meshing with smooth tan lips and a rough rub of a scratchy goatee. Both tongues met in the middle in a battle for dominance, Kid knew he had the better physical strength so he continued to tease Trafalgar with the idea of winning by allowing his tongue to slip somewhat into his own mouth before turning the tide and shoving his back into the others mouth.

Reluctantly pulling away from the other, Kid moved further into the room, paying very little attention to the bland furniture the room had to offer when some of it was likely to get broken anyway. 'That poor bed won't know what hit it.' He was abruptly interrupted in his thoughts by hands grabbing him around the waist to spin him around and abruptly push him onto his back on the bed.

Looking up in barely hidden surprise, He saw a rather annoyingly smug Law standing at the foot of the bed with his yellow and black hoodie and tank top already stripped off to reveal a plethora of tribal patterned tattoos. And even though they've done this old song and dance a few times already, he still couldn't help but admire the ink over tanned skin, paving a picture over a skin canvas.

As always, Law had a snarky remark in response, "Keep staring at me like that Eustass-ya and I might think you have feelings for me." Sneering in disbelief, Kid jeered back exactly how he thought about such a blasphemous accusation. "In your dreams Trafalgar, all this talk makes me think the same of you, you know the only thing ya got going for ya is that tight ass of yours."

"Yeah Yeah, if you're done talking, I think there is much better uses for that loud mouth of yours." Getting, back up off the bed, Kid reversed the situation by promptly tossing Law onto the bed with an 'oomph!' "Like hell I'm gonna do anything from down there while you get to stand, I know what your game is, you were hoping I suck ya off or even let ya fuck my throat you bastard! just because I have an oral fixation doesn't mean you get to abuse it!"

Turning so that Kid could move to crawl onto the bed over Law he stated with a salacious sneer. "If I'm gonna do that, your gonna just have to take it my way." Having figured out by now that the controlling little shit would protest to that, He made damn sure to use one of his arms to keep him pinned. It was also a way for Kid to show off his superior strength to the other, since these little 'meetings' always held a power struggle.

Both men held large egos that came to blows whenever they met, leading either to a fight where both exasperated crews had to separate them to avoid too much injury. Or in the satisfaction of a good fuck when both gave their all in a different form of battle.

Law responded with a huff after finally forfeiting the struggle for now at least. "You've always been such a brute Eustass-ya and you fuck like one too." Kid gave his rival one last wild leer before turning his attention to the tanned skin of the others chest. "And yet you love it dont'cha? being fucked by this wild beast." Whatever smart-assed comment the surgeon of death was about to make was caught in his throat in a surprised cry when Eustass dragged his attentive mouth over a dusky nipple to give it a sharp nip, leaving the bud to instantly harden at the attention laved on it.

As long as Kid would prefer it, he hopes to keep that smart mouth of his either shut or too busy spouting pleasured sounds to do anything, but he can't have his way can he? As he he gave the other nipple the same attention, he felt a hand palm the back of his head, threading fingers through the flaming locks before abruptly tightening their hold to give a sharp tug on them. The reaction was almost instant as the sensation travelled down Kid's spine, leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

"Fuck off Trafalgar, you know how sensitive my scalp is!" not that he was really gonna complain because after all, such a sensation was actually extremely pleasurable to him but like hell he would ever admit it out loud to one of his fellow rivals and super rookie. The only response he got was a unapologetic smirk from a certain surgeon, an all too knowing glint reflecting off of those golden irises.

To get back at him, Kid left a bite hard enough to draw some blood and to leave a nice mark over the stupidly grinning jolly roger in the middle of the large heart tattoo. an almost unbecoming yelp tore out of the others mouth, leaving a victorious grin to decorate Kid's face. "What the hell! are you some kind of fucking vampire or what?" after recovering from the pain the smug bastard had to add. "Well now that I think of it you do pull off the image quite well considering how pale you are."

Unfortunately for Kid, he walked right into that one by also laving at the spot, cleaning up the blood he spilled. He wasn't someone who enjoyed the taste of blood especially from himself, he just didn't want blood to get on the bed sheets because then questions would really be raised by the hotel staff. "Just shut up and let me do my thing, unless you want me to bite your dick off when I get to it?" hearing no response from the other, Kid continued on his path all the way down to the surgeons navel, where a short thin trail of dark hairs lead down to the intended prize currently pushing an impressive tent in spotted jeans.

Undoing the others belt buckle and absentmindedly unzipping the fly, Kid spent a brief time nosing the others smooth tan skin, feeling little twitches from the muscles beneath at the stimulation. Finally exposing the dark briefs the other was wearing, Kid roughly palmed it in his left hand while moving to tug those pesky jeans off with his right. The smart ass finally moved to help by lifting his hips to help it along while also groaning at the friction increase he got from doing so.

Once it got down to his knees, kid swiftly and roughly yanked the pants off the other to a cry of "Hey!' before moving in for the kill. He lowered himself down, using both arms to spread Law's legs apart for better access he ducked down to nuzzle the straining bulge at the impatient mutterings of man ahead of him. Just as he felt another hand move to grab his head and press his face down, Kid swatted the offending appendage away in annoyance. "Keep ya paws off until I get to the goods damnit!"

With that said, Kid finally made to roughly remove Law's briefs in a manner which garnered yet another fit of whining from the other. "Watch how you handle that you damned brute! you almost tore them!" "Oh those aren't what you should be worried about me tearing Trafalgar." Instead of emphasizing what he meant to the other mans inquiry. He instead chose to begin what he was planning to do, which was making this smug bastard come apart from his mouth alone, with little help from his hands.

He gave teasing little kitten licks to the head of Law's cock, lapping up the little excess of precum that was leaking out of the tip. Having enough with teasing since he wasn't as nearly as much of a bastard as Law in that department, Kid took the whole head in his mouth giving a generously hard suck which only resulted in said bastard getting grabby again and tugging harshly on crimson locks, which without even asking, pulled the elastic of his goggles off to toss god knows where in order to push untamed bangs back in a fistful.

In response, Kid snarled around the mouthful of cock, threatening with a graze of sharp canines before pulling away to give a sharp response. "You watch where you throw those you bastard! They are-" "Yes I know already Eustass-ya, they're some sort of family treasure to you but by now you should know how little I care about that with you, now if you don't mind why don't you get back to sucking me off like a good boy hm?

Growling animalistically at the others half-lidded arrogant face, but unwilling to just drop the sexual tension they had going. Kid went back to where he was but not before declaring darkly to the other male. "If I see so much as a CRACKin those lenses I'll make you pay asshat." "Yeah yeah you say that now but- Oh fuck~."

Whatever comment Law was about to make was abruptly cut off as Kid dove to immediately take half of his length in one go, which was no easy feat considering the size, but Kid always considered himself quite orally talented which was exactly why the other chose to take advantage of such skills for his own use whenever possible.

Considering how his anger from the treatment of his goggles had yet to abate, Kid briefly considered reaching up with one hand to grasp Trafalgar's balls before crushing them to bits in a fist. He immediately crossed such a suicidal idea from his mind because as much as he would enjoy the look of sheer agony from having his most precious jewels crushed, he knew all he had to do was reach for his Nodachi leant against the night stand and decapitate him, most likely without the use of his powers.

Instead, since such a thought was so vivid, Kid did in fact reach with his right arm to cup the others balls, but gently, and with a little fondling mixed in with his fingers. Hearing another pleased sigh escape the others lips at the action, Kid briefly looked up to only see Law's goatee covered chin with his head thrown back against the arm he was now laying his head on. taking the chance, he nervously eyed the Nodachi that ruined his brief brutal desire with a comical drop of sweat dripping down his forehead.

Refocusing himself on the task at hand. Kid slowly continued his downwards ascent until finally, his nose reached the patch of dark pubic curls at the base of Law's shaft. Having recovered from the earlier surprise deep throat, Law kept a tattooed hand atop red locks, putting a little pressure in order to ensure the other kept his head in place like that. He purred at the lewd picture Kid made, fiery eyes looking up at him in defiance despite having a throbbing cock lodged as deeply as it could go down his throat. "Who would've though the mighty Eustass 'Captain' Kid to be such a cockslut?"

To put emphasis on the meaning, Law allowed Kid to raise his head slightly before abruptly thrusting upwards, causing the man to choke suddenly, which Law enjoyed the sudden tightening around his cock very much. Pressing against a non-too resisting hand in order to take deep gulps of air, Kid looked absolutely wrecked already with the saliva mixed in precum dripping from his smeared lips and chin. "That was a dirty move shithead." The surgeon gave a calm lazy response in contradiction to Kids panting. "A dirty move which you should be used to by now Eustass-ya unless you mean to tell me you can't handle it?"

With the clear challenge given, Kid's pride would not allow the other the smug satisfaction in assuming things of him, and any challenge given was to be completed ten fold!

With new determination alighting his expression, Kid dove back down to suck with fervor, occasionally bobbing his head deeply to briefly touch the base before starting the whole process again, limiting his hands to either hold down tanned hips more firmly or to fondle and caress the balls beneath. Law himself was beginning to feel the effects of such efforts it seemed as Kid could feel the other's cock begin to twitch more frequently to hit the roof of his mouth.

It didn't stop however, the flow of filthy words the cocky surgeon threw down at him. "Now that I think of it, hah~ you look much better like this Eustass-ya with a dick shoved down your tight throat, I wonder what would everyone think of you if they knew this side of you, they most certainly would lose their fear for you I'm certain of it."

As much as it angered Kid's dominant side to be demeaned verbally like this, it did absolutely everything to bring an inferno into his painfully tight pants by this point. Absentmindedly, Kid moved a hand not assisting him in pleasuring the other down to unzip his fly in order to yank his own hardon out to stroke away some of the unbearable tension pooling there as Law continued on." I know I prefer you like this, significantly less yapping then before. Maybe I should do this to shut you up whenever you get on my nerves, I won't have to hear any of your ridiculous drivel and I get to release sexual tension all at once."

As Law grew closer to the end, Kid moved both hands to hold the other down, preventing anymore hip movement as he had learned from before. However doing so meant Law had all the control over his head from above which the little shit took advantage of quickly. Placing both palms on either side of Kids face, Law made to slam him down all the way onto his cock as it throbbed wildly now. "Swallow every last drop Eustass-ya."

As this was said, Kid could do nothing but take the load that was being shot down the back of his throat, tempted as he was to keep some of the seed pooling in his mouth in order to spit it back at the bastards face, He knew better than to do something that would likely start a fight when he too needed to take care of his own needs. So once the jets of white fluid finally slowed to a twitching stop, Kid made to pull away as soon as possible in order to swallow down the surprisingly large amount of seed left over. 'So it seems he must be really pent up too then'.

Unfortunately for him, Law wouldn't allow him a moment to get the salty taste out of his mouth completely, taking advantage of the daze he was in in order to roughly pull him up to smash their lips together and gaining dominance for the first time tonight by being able to explore Kids mouth without being pushed out, taking in the taste of his own salty liquid clinging to teeth. Pulling away He had the gall to smirk at Kid. "Should I take this daze to mean I get to top this time around."

Making a recovery in order to spat back "Like hell you will after the stunt you pulled I'll have to punish you for that." Kid roughly manhandled Law's body but not before catching a glimpse of a certain slightly lipstick smeared appendage. "Have fun cleaning that up jerk." A little confused at what he meant, Law looked down there before giving the other a vicious glare.

Which for all intents and purposes of intimidating lesser foes, did absolutely nothing in deterring Kid from fully maneuvering the other onto his hands and knees.

"Now why don't you be a good boy and keep your ass up in the air for me eh?" Kid guffawed when he saw the other look over his shoulder to glare at him once more, this time accompanied by the old middle finger salute. Pulling back to sit on his knees, Kid finally got to undressing himself fully, removing his coat to toss it aside along with his vest and weapons belts too. He took a second to retrieve the necessary lube and condom from a pants pocket before quickly discarding that and his boxers as well.

Moving to kneel behind the other, Kid opened up the cap before pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. using his left hand, he settled over the massive jolly roger adorning his rivals back to balance him self.

Without any verbal warning, Kid roughly shoved a thick finger into the others hole on the first go at it. Hearing a sharp hiss in response to the intrusion, Kid could only smirk as it was his way of getting back at the other for treating him like some disposable street whore earlier. From what he could see, Law had his head bent low, with both hands clenching the sheets like a lifeline, significantly wrinkling the fabric in the process.

And because Kid is not known to be a very kind person especially to certain rivals that get under his skin a lot, Kid shoved yet another slicked finger in after only thrusting the singular digit a few times, deeming the twitching orifice more than ready for another.

Gradually, Kid was rewarded with muffled groans which Kid tsked at, annoyed that Law was trying to hold back on him. To fix this, He used the hand laying over his back to grab a fistful of dark blue locks and yank his head up off the pillow. "It's no good if I can't hear you ya know? someone like you shouldn't be afraid to get a little noisy."

Hackles raised by the taunt, The lanky surgeon immediately hissed back in a dark tone. "Well maybe you should consider the fact that you aren't doing enough to please me Eustass-ya." and yet another challenge was posed by the other, 'I bet the bastards doing this on purpose to maximize his pleasure but damnit all if it isn't working!'

Keeping the internal struggle to himself, but not hiding the dark fiery look taking over his eyes. Kid's physical response was to hammer home three fingers, his typical maximum for partners considering the thickness of his fingers. And THATbrought an immediate and keening loud response from Law, one the other could not hide even if he wanted to. This time it was Kid's turn for some dirty talk of his own.

"Well look at that, it looks like that got you going jackass. As cool and collected as you like to act, seeing you moan unrestrained paints such a pretty picture. I'll have to think of this the next time I jack off."

After a while of hammering the others prostate, Kid finally pulled his fingers free with a lewd 'shlick' sound accompanying the withdrawal. At the same time, Kid finally let go of the others head, deeming it time to get on with the main event sooner rather than later.

Moving so that he hovered over the smaller males back, he took the time to trace the black lines of that damning Tattoo over with his tongue before leaving a nice bite mark over the smiley portion on the tanned skin so that it could be seen in a mirror later.

Lining himself up with the slick entrance. Kid only gave one warning in the form of his own challenge to the other male. "If you can even still move after I'm through with you, Then maybe I'll let you take the reigns Law." said man's eyes widened as that was the first time Kid had chosen to call him by his first name.

He had little time to process that though as without hesitation, Kid took one hard thrust until his hips pressed flush with Laws ass. "You see? If you really didn't like being fucked so much your ass wouldn't be trying to devour my cock like this eh, Trafalgar?" ah, there he goes back to the last name again he knew it wouldn't last.

After sitting still for a little bit due to the force with which Law's walls were clamping down on Kid's dick, He finally began to move starting with slow but heavy thrusts that left a resounding 'Slap' of skin meeting skin each time their hips met.

For a while, all that could be heard aside from that was the rythmic creaking of the bed frame and the low grunts and growls both men gave. That temporary non-verbal silence was broken when Kid swung a hand down to smack one of Law's ass cheeks hard enough to leave a reddening imprint. This resulted in a surprised shout from law who, if looks could kill, Kid would be dead on the floor now.

But once again, Kid was impervious to that stare, knowing that as Law was now, he wouldn't dare do anything unless he wants to give himself a case blue balls. To check just to be certain, Kid reached the same hand down between the others thighs to grasp the leaking hard shaft he found there. Grinning at this Kid couldn't resist a little prodding.

"Look at this, Your eyes are telling me to go fuck myself but I can clearly tell whose the one that really wants to get fucked here. Starting his thrusts up again, this time harder and faster so that the headboard of the bed now began to clang against the wall. Kid also moved to stroke Law in time to his thrusts as now it wouldn't be long until they both hit their highs.

And right on time too, he felt the shaft in his hand give a tell tale twitch in preparation for the second orgasm of the night, while Kid was quickly approaching his first. It didn't mean he was out of it yet, it would just take a short bit until he could hopefully initiate another round knowing that his rival could keep up with his impressive stamina.

The first to come undone was Law, who came with a shout all over the sheets below them, Kid made a mental note to toss those aside when they inevitably continued, because neither really planned to stick around long enough to snuggle over night. The mere thought almost had kid choking back bile coming up his throat. A mutually beneficial relationship such as theirs had no room to grow with prides far too big to be pushed aside.

It took a few more hard thrusts before Kid finally began to come undone as well with a louder groan, Quickly removing himself from the pliant body beneath him, Kid was fast in removing the condom in order to jerk himself off to completion. The result of which was in painting the now thoroughly marked up jolly roger on Law's back in shades of white, black, and reddened tan skin. It made for a beautiful portrait in Kids eyes, it was a shame he had no way of taking a picture for later use.

As his cock began to soften and shrink, Kid made to properly dispose of the used condom in his other hand, aiming just right with his toss to the nearby trash bin before collapsing down to rest himself, burying his face into a soft pillow for a brief while.

However unbeknownst to him, Law laid beside him, having turned over on his back after wiping his himself off, stared at the ceiling before a wicked smirk came over his face with a particularly evil gleam in his golden eyes. Softly summoning a 'Room' so that Kid couldn't hear in his drowsy state, Law quickly teleported a silky black band up to his hands along with his own lube and condom (because like hell he would ever use that grease Kid called lube.) He dismissed the room and mentally prepared himself for the due revenge he intended on exacting on Kid while also taking this next opportunity to take control for himself.

#Here's the Monstrosity #II'm kinda strangely proud of this first smut fic #Kidlaw #LawKid #Fanfic #Slash #Eustass Kid #Trafalgar law

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justgottafinishthischapter · 5 years

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Writing Romance: Ted and Robin

Originally, I was going to talk about this pair in a post about the “Will They or Won’t They” trope, but this pairing in particular felt like it needed its own separate topic because this is less a discussion about the “will they won’t they” and everything to do with narrative tension.

In the pilot episode, everything seems to be lining up perfectly for a great series. The romantic leads are cute, have great chemistry, and it manages to capture a genuine feeling of being young and out on your own trying to make a name for yourself in the big city. Ted is a perfect protagonist for this sort of series, as he’s a hopeless romantic boy-next-door-type that is made of 100% boyfriend material. Robin acts as a very nice counter to Ted. Ted is a bit more timid and cautious and open, whereas Robin is more confident, outspoken, and snarky. They form a great romantic foil to each other. By the end of episode 1, the writers have done a great job to set up a compelling romance in a show called How I Met Your Mother. We have our narrator, Ted, telling his children how he met their Mother, and Robin is being set up to be that Mother, as Ted recounts the ups and downs of their relationship. Everything feels perfect, until one line ruins everything. “And that’s how I met your Aunt Robin.”

Now, had Robin essentially been a one-off crush and Ted moved on, never feeling those feelings for Robin ever again, it would have been fine. The first episode would have been a psyche-out which would drastically reduce the rewatchability, but the series could have gone on ahead. Ted and Robin would not have been the first or last pair of main characters to date for a short time and then realize they just don’t work together. Somewhat recently, Nick and Jessi in Netflix’s Bigmouth dated for about the first three episodes of season 1 before breaking up, and have never shown any interest in each other since, choosing to just stay friends. Ted and Robin would have been a cliffnote found only in the pilot episode, and we would greet each of Ted’s lady love’s as the potential eponymous mother. However, the show chose to push Ted and Robin, and that’s a problem.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Ted and Robin have a great relationship and good chemistry. But the problem is: the tension has been broken in the very first episode. They are a Will They or Won’t They that has already spoiled that They Won’t. Because Ted is recounting this story, a story about his children’s mother and how he met her, the mother is in essence the focus of the story. The reason he’s telling it. But for most of the series, that focus isn’t on their birth mother, it’s on Robin. Aunt Robin. The woman who is not the mother. And thus, can’t be the woman Ted ends up with. Even after the very first episode, every single time Ted goes after Robin, there’s always the conscious fact in the back of the view’s mind that this is not the mother. That this won’t work. Because it has been spoiled. We know that Robin is not the mother, therefore any attempts by Ted to woo her automatically fall flat because all of the narrative tension has leaked out. If Ted asks Robin on a date, it doesn’t matter how good or bad the date goes. Because the end result is already known. No matter how great a date is, the relationship will fail. No matter how bad the date, the relationship would have failed regardless. Thus, it can be hard for the audience to get invested in a relationship that they already know is doomed to fail. Because we know Ted and Robin won’t end up together, most of the series where he’s pining after her feels pointless because we already know it won’t happen. And then it does.

This was a major sucker punch to those who had been watching the show. This show which was all about The Mother, who I think was only in the last season (forgive me, I have not watched every single episode, it’s a long series) only to kill The Mother off and have Future Narrator Ted run to Robin. There’s a very good reason why this ending was troublesome with viewers. The show just broke its own rule. Aunt Robin didn’t win. Ted and Robin didn’t get together. The audience went through an entire series with the understanding that no matter what these two do, they will never end up together. And then this rule is broken. Beyond that, The Mother, who was supposed to be the focus of the story, is completely thrown away as a second thought to allow Ted and Robin to break this rule. The character that the entire series is built around, the fundamental core of the entire narrative is rendered irrelevant because she’s getting in the way of the romantic leads.

I hope my little rant about How I Met Your Mother has helped highlight the importance of narrative tension. Without that tension, the narrative stakes are too low. No matter what is done, the probability of changing the outcome is low, and thus, it’s hard for your audience to get invested. While Ted and Robin are a cute couple, the narrative is stacked against them. It wasn’t completely broken,as there were ways to fix this problem. 1. Have Ted and Robin only be interested in each other during the pilot episode. This would render Robin a one-time fling, and move on from the option we already know won’t happen. 2. Let Ted and Robin pursue each other without telling the audience that she’s Aunt Robin. If we hadn’t been told that she’s Aunt Robin, we the audience could always hold out hope that she could be the mother, and that Ted and Robin could finally make it work and get that happy ending. By removing the thing that spoils the ending, the narrative gets its tension back, and we’re able to be more invested in the Will They or Won’t They of their dynamic. 3. Introduce The Mother earlier and replace all of Ted and Robin’s romantic moments after the pilot with The Mother character. Robin can continue to be Aunt Robin so long as Ted’s pining after someone other than the character we already know won’t work out. Even if The Mother only shows up in the final season, just let the show conclude with Ted and The Mother still together with no lingering affection for Robin. So remember that whether you’re writing a romance or a slasher flick, you must keep in mind the narrative tension and the stakes. If the tension is low, the audience will have a hard time feeling invested. You want your audience to care. To sweat over every uncertainty and wonder what’s going to happen next. If they already know the twist, the entire immersion is already spoiled. No matter how well-written, sweet, genuine, or endearing Ted and Robin were, it was always doomed to sink. And all because of the words, “And that’s how I met your Aunt Robin.”

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fasterthanmydemons · 4 years

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How would Alive!Pietro react to losing Wanda in the Snap? I mean, I don't think the two of them would die simply because they're twins. The Snap wouldn't care, it would just tear families apart. And Clint, who is like a father figure to Pietro, would be too busy angsting over his own family in Japan to be there for him. Feel free to go on a long rant if you need to! Your blog does justice to Pietro.

{out of breath} So this is an interesting question, and I’ll warn you right off the bat that the answer is going to be very depressing. Trigger warnings ahead for mention of suicidal tendencies and self-destructive behavior.

If you’re the same person who already asked me about what would happen if Pietro lost Wanda after Ultron instead of the other way around, you can ignore what I’m gonna say next because you’ve already probably read all this, haha, but I’ll draw your attention to these three posts. Two of them are starters and one is an answer to an anon who asked me to elaborate on one of them. Pietro would have one of two reactions to losing Wanda in pretty much every scenario you can imagine, regardless of when it is in his timeline: 1) anger, 2) despair. The two starters deal with each of those overwhelming emotions. So even though it’s not the exact scenario you are asking about, you might find them interesting to read:

“Nothing Left” Starter

Ask Answer About “Nothing Left” Pietro

“Carrying On” Starter

With regard to what you asked about specifically... I feel like his reaction would be the same, but by that point, he’d probably have a lot more support than he would after Ultron, for example. He will have been with the Avengers for... what 2 years? 3 years? I see him staying close to Clint as well as making friends with Natasha. That doesn’t mean his reaction to Wanda dying is going to be any less intense, but it might mean that either Clint or Natasha (more likely Nat given how Clint reacted to his own family being snapped) might try to actively keep Pietro from hurting himself, whether in the literal suicide sense or just by getting into fights and reckless behavior.

Anytime Pietro loses Wanda, no matter the circumstances, he’s going to blame himself. He’s the big brother, he’s supposed to protect her. If she’s dead, then he failed her. That failure would be compounded even more by losing her in the snap, because like all the other Avengers, he’d feel like he failed the world, didn’t try hard enough, didn’t do enough, could have done more, etc. So... huge let down ego-wise and morale-wise, and he’s losing the most important person in his life. It’s all downhill from here.

Anger is a natural thing for Pietro to express at this time, because in a lot of ways it’s easier for him to be angry, explosive, and self-destructive than it is for him to cry and be sad. For someone who grew up with a somewhat antiquated notion of men, Pietro feels like there’s more strength in anger than sadness. So covering up his grief with explosive temper is a natural path for him to go down. Combine that with guilt and him feeling like he deserves to be punished for failing her, and you have a Pietro who is starting fights with everyone hoping to be hurt, doing dangerous parkour to burn off energy and oh, maybe he’ll fall and die. Just very reckless behavior in which he doesn’t care and almost would prefer if he got seriously injured. Because what’s the point? Wanda’s gone, and she was his life.

It’s a very sad outlook, but as I've said many times in the past on this blog, I have always headcanoned that Wanda is stronger than Pietro emotionally. He’s stronger physically... and he appears to be stronger emotionally, but we all know Wanda can survive without Pietro. I headcanon that there is a good chance Pietro would not survive losing Wanda. Suicide is a real thing he would consider, unfortunately, and it would take very persistent and patient intervention from someone he trusts (Clint, Nat, maybe Sam or Steve if he got close with them) to help him through his grief in a more constructive manner.

Let’s say he is helped by Nat or Steve or a similar friend in the Avengers. Fights will probably happen, both shouting matches and physical ones. They might have to kick his ass a few times or at least tire him out to get him to calm down and listen to them. It sounds cruel, but this actually isn’t a bad way to get Pietro to listen, as long as he isn’t seriously injured in the fights. It tires him out, expends a lot of that rage he’s using as a coping mechanism, and gets past it. He’s more likely to break down and cry once he’s tired/spent enough, but that’s actually a good thing because he’s not suppressing his sadness anymore. At that point, he’d be more conducive to listening to them. What would they say? It’s not his fault. That they’re all in the same boat, they all lost someone they cared about. Maybe that they’ll work to find a way to reverse it. That Wanda wouldn’t want him to hurt himself or to just self-destruct because of her. Things like that. It would take several times of getting him down to a more open and vulnerable state enough to learn that they’re not going to judge him, take advantage of him, or mock him in that condition. That’s when the healing begins.

But before we get too optimistic, I will say that even if Pietro is able to be saved from himself after losing Wanda, he will never be the same. Ever. A light, a happiness, a spark he had inside him will be gone forever, and even if Wanda is brought back to him after the events of Endgame, something will still be broken in him. He might be able to get back to 95% of who he was before, but the scarring and traumatic experience of losing his sister is something that will permanently effect him, even if he gets her back.

Now... there is one more way he could be saved from his rage benders and other destructive behaviors. Well, sort of. He does trust and respect Clint as a father figure by this time (I headcanon anyway, that their relationship would only deepen the longer Pietro is with the Avengers), so he might follow suit when Clint decides to go rogue and become Ronin. I could easily see them bonding over their grief by basically adopting a “screw everything” kind of attitude. Like, they’ve lost their families and there’s a feeling of well... we don’t care what happens to us, we may as well make various assholes pay. I can see Pietro jumping on that bandwagon real fast and helping Clint take down various mafia, Yakuza, crime syndicates. They’d become a duo, taking matters into their own hands and staying off the grid.

That would be a satisfying outlet for his anger, however, not a healthy outlet for his grief overall. Like Clint, he would be suppressing things like grief, sadness, and guilt in favor of anger, self-righteousness, and a misguided sense of vigilante justice. It might serve to keep Pietro from becoming completely suicidal, but it also will do next to nothing to help him process his grief and begin to move on in a healthy fashion.

Okay, so I think I’ve dished out most of my headcanons on this topic, but if there’s anything else you want to ask or if I raised more questions in your mind, please feel free to send in more. I love asks like this because they really help me to flesh him out if I don’t have headcanons on the subject, or to get them all written out “on paper” so to speak so that I don’t forget them. Thanks for sending this in! =) Also thank you do much for saying I do justice to Pietro! That’s the best compliment the mun of a canon character can get. <3

#about the muse #pietro maximoff #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: self-destructive behavior

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batboys-and-other-messes · 6 years

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Phones and Panic (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yupp Request: Hello! Can I request a Jason Todd x reader where the reader forgets her phone at home and goes out to do something meanwhile Jason is freaking out because she doesn’t answer her phone A/N: Thanks for the request! I honestly hope you like it. Word count: 1645 Warning(s): Sex mentioned, Cursing Tagged: @jason-todd-rh

[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

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At first, you thought your day would be uneventful.

That was until your friend suddenly showed up on your doorstep, basically kidnapping you for a lady’s night out. But it wasn’t the fancy kind. It started with messy food, movies, more food and ended with her leaving you behind to hook up with a taxi-driver.

Sometimes you asked yourself how you ended up with so many crazy people in your life. But who were you to judge? You dated a self-proclaimed “outlaw”. How much crazier could it get?

You had only noticed that you didn’t have your phone with you when your friend was gone, and you couldn’t call a cab, so you decided to walk home. It had been a long and busy day and you appreciated the evening breeze.

Gotham, as scary as it could be, sometimes even seemed to be somewhat peaceful.

You stopped on a quick Starbucks run before you walked down the street, watching the sunset as you saw a flash of red and black drop down next to you, scaring the living shit out of you.

“The Hell, Tim?!” you said as Red Robin raised his hands in defense.

“Are you okay?” he asked sheepishly.

“Yeah, you just scared me.”

“No, I mean... are you okay? In general?” Of course, the answer was obvious, you were alive and okay, but the question confused you nonetheless.

“Yeah? … Why?” you asked.

“Because Jason is currently raising hell as if you’ve been kidnapped and tortured collectively by the whole Gotham underground.” He said matter-of-factly and started typing something on his weird wrist-watch-thingy.

You stopped in the middle of taking a sip of your drink.

“What??”

“Yeah… He said you haven’t answered your phone all day and you were ‘nowhere to be found’. Bruce put him in time out because he threatened to shoot something up.” He looked at the position of the setting sun to guess how long ago this was. Thirty minutes? An hour? Maybe? What day was it?

“But he’s probably left the cave by now.”

“What? Then why are you so calm?? What the- Tim, could you please tell him that I’m okay and on the way home?”

“Already done.” He said and looked at your drink and you took an educated guess at where his next stop would be.

“Here” you handed him the spare coffee that was meant for your boyfriend, but Jason probably didn’t need the energy boost anymore. You both started walking towards your apartment as you knew that he would’ve followed you home anyways.

It seemed to be one of these weird rules in this family to make sure everybody got home safe.

“Wait, how many people are looking for me right now? Or… you know, were looking for me until now?” you asked, afraid of the answer as the teen just stared ahead for a moment.

“Dick, the Outlaws, Steph, and Cass.” He said. “And Alfred is in the cave monitoring.”

“And Bruce?” you asked, more interested to know who would search for you in case you were really in danger. Besides the fact that your boyfriend is apparently having a meltdown right now.

“He’s busy.”

“Figured”

“And the demon spawn has no soul, so he refused to.”

“Oh.”

“And we all knew that Jason was just over-reacting.”

“And yet here you are.”

His hand went up to scratch the back of his head. “To be honest I was just on a coffee run.”

You nodded, understandingly.

“Did he reply? “ you asked after a few seconds of silence. You honestly missed your phone by now.

“Just a bunch of gibberish.” He looked at his wrist and took a sip of the coffee.

“He’s probably mad.” You said and Red Robin nodded.

“Shouldn’t be so surprising considering its Jason we’re talking about.”

And with that you both fell into silence.

___

A few minutes later you stood in front of your apartment door, alone, keys in hand and ready to unlock the door when it swung open and a strong hand pulled you in, the door slamming shut behind you. Your back leaned against the closed door but not because of balance but purely out of lack of space as your boyfriend, Jason Todd, hovered above you in all his fully-geared-up-but-helmetless glory.

His hands caged you in and you eyed him like a deer caught in headlights.

About a hundred different emotions washed over his face from obvious worry to anger and frustration until he finally sighed and gave way to the most prominent emotion – Relief.

You simply stared at him as he hung his head, trying to get over the initial shock from the multiple heart and panic attacks you made him go through.

On the first look you could understand why people thought he was intimidating but right now he just looked like a sad puppy whose owner has just left and locked the door.

Slowly you lifted your cup, pointing the straw at his direction as an offering of peace accompanied by a hesitant smile on your part.

He lifted his head, the frown back at his face, as he practically glared through you.

You lowered the cup again out of eyesight.

Another second of silence passed.

"You are so grounded.” He finally spoke and even though his expression was as stoic as ever, the tension has been finally cut and you couldn’t help but smile in relief.

He wanted to yell, to rant and to tell you exactly how goddamn stupid your stupid actions on this stupid day where but he couldn’t. Not when you were safe at home. Not with your scared expression so fresh on his mind and especially not when you looked so damn innocent, standing there.

“I’m sorry.” You finally offered.

Despite the now lighter atmosphere, you couldn’t even start to imagine what he thought had happened to you. You knew he had witnessed horrible things in his life and probably even on this day and you never wanted to be part of any of these scenarios.

But at the end of the day, it was just a forgotten phone.

Right?

Suddenly, with a single sigh, he looked as if he had just lost seven years of his lifespan before he rested his forehead on your shoulder, defeated.

You defeated Red Hood.

“Hey.” You said softly, placing your free hand on his hair as you slowly started to run your fingers through it. “I’m sorry I worried you.” You said, lifting your cup again as an offering and you felt him take a sip through the straw.

Ha. You knew it.

“Tori made a surprise visit and we went to the movies. She was so hectic that I completely forgot to take my phone with me.” You tried to explain. You hoped that knowing how your day actually looked like would replace whatever images he had already constructed in his head.

“You are still grounded.” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“And how was your day?” you tried to steer the conversation away from the topic while you still stood caged against the door. Not that you minded that much.

“Oh, the usual. A few rapists broke out, a human trafficking ring settled in fucking Gotham and the woman I love was suddenly fucking gone.” He said bitterly and you knew he wouldn’t let you live that down anytime soon.

“The woman you love, huh? As in present tense?”

He pushed himself off the door to glare at you again as you immediately missed running your fingers through his hair.

“Watch it. You are on thin fucking ice right now.”

“Jason.” You said, ignoring the fact that he had just stolen you Starbucks cup as you continued to talk. “Look, I made a mistake and it was stupid. I should’ve known better.”

“Damn right, you should have!”

“All I am asking for is a chance to make it up to you.” You said, your voice hung in the air with a hint of… seduction? You couldn’t help the effect he had on you, standing so close. And truth be told, you wanted to replace his angst with something more... nice.

Jason squinted at your words. “I don’t know, (Y/N).” he said, taking a sip before continuing, his face still only inches away from yours. “You really did a number on me.”

“And I’m fully repentant.” you said.

“So, what are you suggesting?” he asked and you knew that he had already forgiven you.

“Make-up sex?” you answered, and his expression didn’t change.

“No.”

This genuinely surprised you.

“No?”

“I’m not your whore.” He said and it took every ounce of willpower for you not to laugh.

“I never said that.” You said, biting your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling.

“I really don’t like your tone here.”

“Okay.” You said. “What are you suggesting then?” you asked and he looked pleased with this question.

“Make-up sex.” He answered.

“That’s exactly what I said.”

“Yeah. But I didn’t like the way you said it.”

“Jason.”

“(Y/N).”

You both stared at each other for a moment and you wondered how you possessed the willpower to not kiss him with his face so close to yours.

“So… Are we going to… you know?” you slowly said before he grabbed you and threw you casually over his shoulder like a very delicate duffel bag.

“Really?” you sighed, shaking your head with a smile and you only heard him chuckle and put down the drink before he carried you through the living room.

“Gotta make sure you don’t disappear again.”

“I won’t. I already said I’m fully repentant.” You said as you heard his guns hit the floor and the sound left you tingling in excitement before he threw you on the bed, kicking the bedroom door close behind him.

“We’re gonna see how true that is.”

#my writing #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #batboy x reader #batboy imagine #tim drake #red hood #red robin

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exxar1 · 3 years

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Episode 7: New Year, New Project (Sort Of)

1/11/2021

Happy new year!

Things aren’t looking so good for the nation right now, but I’m pleased to say my new year is off to a good start. Sticking to my resolutions has been pretty easy thus far, especially the first one. Thanks to the Bible app on my phone and iPad, I’m able to keep up with my daily devotions on my lunch break. I also bought myself a Bible and a cover for it on Amazon as a Christmas present to myself. While I normally enjoy reading books on my Kindle or iPad, I decided that I prefer to read my Bible the old fashioned way. So I use that one for my devotions right before bed.

This week I also began work on one of my other resolutions. Last month, as I was browsing Amazon, I stumbled across a book titled “Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity”. It’s by a young man named Gregory Coles. Both the title and synopsis intrigued me, so I bought it for reading later. This week, I decided to use my lunch break to read instead of just playing games or surfing social media on my phone. I started Greg’s book on Monday and finished it by Friday.

And…wow.

This is the synopsis from Greg’s website:

Let’s make a deal, you and me. Let’s make promises to each other.

I promise to tell you my story. The whole story. I’ll tell you about a boy in love with Jesus who, at the fateful onset of puberty, realized his sexual attractions were persistently and exclusively for other guys. I’ll tell you how I lay on my bed in the middle of the night and whispered to myself the words I’ve whispered a thousand times since: “I’m gay.”

Is it possible to be gay and still follow Jesus? And if so, what happens next? If you believe the Bible calls you to celibacy, is it possible to embrace that calling without feeling like a divine typo?

Single, Gay, Christian is the story of one person’s journey through these questions. It’s about acting like your own alter ego, about getting epiphanies from mosquitoes, about singing happy birthday to yourself while literally hiding in a closet. It’s about being gay, loving Jesus, and choosing singleness in a world that fears all three.

Greg is only in his late twenties, and he published his story just four years ago. I was immediately captivated by his writing as he put into words so many thoughts, feelings, doubts, questions, and fears that I wrestled with in my teen years and, again, have started grappling with after reaffirming my salvation and faith in God four months ago. Like him, I was terrified of anyone discovering my secret. Like him, I questioned why God had made me this way. But unlike Greg, the only way that I could reconcile my conflict was to reject God, the church and the Bible altogether. I chose to walk into adulthood on my own, living my truth as I saw fit.

Greg, however, stuck it out with God. The end result is that he came to believe it was God’s will for him to remain celibate. He’s currently serving as worship leader in his local church while teaching English part time at the university as well as writing a second book. As for me, I’m about to start the very same journey that Greg just completed.

Four months ago, when I finally surrendered to God in a heartfelt, pleading, somewhat awkward prayer on a quiet car ride home from work late one night, I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to have to return to the very same issue that I had wrestled with in high school. That was one reason I created this blog, and I’ve spent the last four months mentally preparing myself by slowly opening various doors to my past and peeking hesitantly behind them. The first door was episode two of this blog.

This week, as I read Greg’s story, I slowly realized two things. One, it was time to tell my story, and two, it needed to be more than just a blog. One of my new year’s resolutions was to tackle the issue of homosexuality and Christian faith, to reconcile this once and for all so that I could move on with the rest of my life. Greg’s story gave me the realization that the best way to tell my story was to also write a book. So that’s what I’m going to do.

But then something else occurred to me. I don’t want to tell just my story. I want to broaden the scope of the book to discuss this issue in more detail. I want to interview pastors and church leaders of different denominations to hear their interpretations of God’s view on this issue. I also want to talk to others like me who have been struggling with reconciling their faith in God with being gay. I want to deep dive on Google and Amazon to find books and other resources that will help me learn the history of the church and its relationship to the issue of homosexuality. My story is going to provide the frame. All of my interviews and research will be the painted portrait. I’ve even come up with a title: Living Beneath the Rainbow: Reconciling my Homosexuality with my Christian Faith.

Early in my senior year of high school, as part of a joint assignment for my Bible and English classes, my teachers assigned my class a religious topic that we had to research and write up in a term paper. In addition to the usual library research, we were required to interview the pastor and other leaders in our church. As with everything else in high school I did the absolute bare minimum required to complete this assignment. I loved English but despised Bible class, and I can’t even remember the topic my partner and I were assigned. I think it was predestination. Whatever the case, I did the library research, we both sat down for all of 10 minutes with the pastor, and then I wrote the paper. I have no doubt that our teachers gave us a “B” at best, or, more likely, a “C”.

Mrs. Tutty, I know you’re a regular reader of my blog postings, so I want you to know that I’m here for my makeup assignment. This time it’s just me, and this time I promise to do more than just the bare minimum. This project will require my heart and soul. In addition to the various research methods, Bible reading and prayer, I will be returning to my own past. There’s a scared, angry, frustrated, lonely – so desperately lonely – kid that’s been waiting 25 years for me to talk to him. I am going to have to peel away the faded scars of old wounds that I assumed were healed long ago. I need to reconcile with myself before I can start reconciling and building my new relationship with God. I know already that this is going to be painful, and part of me really doesn’t want to do this. I would rather just focus on the main issue and go from here.

But, in the last couple months, as I’ve been my Bible and learning all over again how to pray, I have felt God strongly reminding me of that burden that I thought I had thrown away years ago. In many ways, I’m right back where I started as a freshman in high school. How do I reconcile my faith with being gay?

But that’s not the only reason I need to write this book. Last year I decided that I wanted to get a boyfriend. I was tired of living the single life, and I had felt a need for quite some time to find that “special guy”. That was back in June when I created the Tinder profile and I met “Alfred”. And those of you who read my blog already know how that turned out. But that didn’t stop me from continuing my search for true love.

But, right about that same time is when God started to actively work within me, flipping all kinds of switches that woke me from my 23-year-long selfish complacency. I gave myself back to Him started this new journey.

Sometimes irony can be a real bitch.

After finishing Greg’s book, I have been having all kinds of new inner conflict. The main question now is, what if God’s will for the rest of my life is that I remain celibate? Just when I have begun experiencing a new kind of loneliness and the accompanying desire to satisfy that romantic hunger, I am now faced with the prospect that that hope will be forever denied me. My secret hope for this new project that I’m embarking on is that I will find the answers I’m looking for. That I will find a new peace with God and I can finally put to rest this issue once and for all.

But, deep down in my soul, my super-secret hope is that not only will I resolve and reconcile this issue, but that I will also be rewarded with finding love in a lifelong relationship with another Christian man. I desperately want to experience that love that my parents and all my brothers and so many other people in this world – especially other gay Christians – have already had the joy of living and experiencing.

But…

But what if I reach the end of this particular journey and I get the answer I don’t want to hear?

I promised God four months ago that I was His completely – heart, mind, body and soul. I will do whatever He asks of me. And in my head I know that He will give me the strength and resolve to follow through on that promise when He finally gives me answer to His will. But in my heart, I just don’t know if I can accept the answer if it’s one I don’t want to hear.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. In my typical, type-A personality fashion I’m listing all the things that can wrong with the car before I even begin the road trip. It’s time to just get in, turn the key, and start driving.

There’s also one more good reason to embark on a project like this one. I came back from Christmas vacation transformed. Not only did I feel well rested and refreshed, I also felt a very distinct sense of inner calm and centeredness as I jumped right back into a full time work schedule at both jobs. I hadn’t realized until now, looking back over the last seven months, just how angry, frustrated, and downright hostile I’d become, thanks to all the shenanigans of this country’s citizenry. I spent most of my free time surfing social media, arguing with strangers, ranting and raving like Chicken Little on speed and steroids, and most of it was for very little real result, except maybe fueling my own warped sense of righteous indignation and moral superiority. (But, for the record, I was right about almost all of it.) It also didn’t help that I was charging through most of my days on just 4 ½ hours sleep per night, thanks to the two full time jobs.

My ten day vacation was a Godsend, in more ways than one. Not only did I catch up on sleep, but I also took the time to do some serious reflection and prayer. When I returned to Las Vegas last week, I felt an eerie mixture of calm and peace, as if my whole self was enveloped in a nice, warm invisible blanket. Even that whole, crazy shitstorm on Wednesday at the capitol didn’t ruffle me. I completely ignored the TV in the break room at Walmart as I devoured Greg Coles’ story on my Kindle app. Even my interactions with the customers at both jobs were different. The old me would have been silently judging and cursing all the annoying people – the ones who take forever to do a simple task like printing off a bank statement for a loan application, or they ask dumb questions about common sense stuff, or they want to give me their whole life’s story while the ten people in line behind them silently glare at both of us.

But not the new me. I came into the new year with a new attitude. I knew I needed an adjustment. That’s why one of my resolutions was to be more kind, sympathetic and understanding to the people I interact with daily. But I think my calm, peaceful state of mind is also due to my renewed faith in Christ. I know that no matter how shitty the world around me is going to get, I have faith in the One who’s really in control of it all. And now, thanks to my new writing project, I have something into which I can pour all of my free time, my energy, my passion and my creativity.

I don’t know how long this will take. I’m hoping no more than a year, at most. I’ve already made contact with someone I found on Twitter who runs a ministry in Nashville, TN, that helps churches to create their own ministries specifically to help LGTBQ Christian teens who are struggling with their sexual identity and their service to God. I also contacted Greg Coles via his website to thank him for his book and I asked him if he would be willing to correspond with me to discuss his story – and my own project – further. No response as of yet.

But now I have a special request for all you out there reading this. If you know of someone like me who’s going through this same struggle and is willing to talk about it, or if you belong to a church that is either gay friendly or not, or if you know of any resources that you can point me to that will help in my study and research on this topic, I would greatly appreciate the assistance. I especially would like to speak to pastors or church leaders of the Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopalian or Methodist denominations. (I already have a Baptist pastor in mind for my first interview, hopefully later this week.)

Happy New Year, folks! It’s going to be a good one! I can feel it!

As my brothers would say, “Hoo-Rah!”

#single #gay #Christian #life #writing

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sneakyhomunculous · 4 years

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RPT Phoenix Report: Back to Back!

Part 1: Preparation

“How should I begin this? I’m just so offended; how am I even mentioned by all these fucking beginners?”

Let’s back up a bit.

I’m coming into this half season fresh off a 5th place finish in the last MC, which means I’m qualified for RPT1/2 and PTFinal 1.

From what I could make of the shoddy convoluted details at the beginning of this year; I believed I had a serious upper hand in the Rivals race.

Only 4 tournaments count. The 3 I am qualified for and the 2nd PT final which I’ll have multiple chances to que for as well.

Almost everyone else has at most 1 RPT Q and a pipe dream.

With this info, I decide I am going to go for it. I know I am still an underdog, but I believe I am one of the few people in the world in this spot to somewhat reasonably set this goal of top 12 paper rivals for myself.

At the same time, the world we live in is an Arena dominated one.

I hate it of course.

Like most of you reading this; I play the game for mostly 1 big reason [the fierce competition]. Arena is severely lacking in this department.

Only standard, a mindless ladder with the only reward being a single lottery ticket into a ~15k USD 0.5% equity drawing. (that requires you to play standard for 8 hours on a saturday there will assuredly be a GP you want to play.)

A petty, infuriating chore.

Bc standard is so chalked and flooded with players anyway; You are forced to play casual [but ranked] drafts against the bots.

Slamming BO1 games with 15 land decks until your eyes bleed and the mythic achievement is reached!

Then you close the unbearable program down not to be touched again until the next time this chore is required; or the lottery drawing is happening.

Nice system!

All that being said, I’m still not going to handicap myself, and so I decide I will go for Arena as well.

Unfortunately I have no early advantage there, and the spots are obviously unbelievably high variance.

There are only 2 Invys and 2 Mythic point challenges, and if you miss the first invy you are almost drawing dead at a 1-12 spot. Especially with special invites and re-ques for top finishers all factored in.

So far I am failing on the Arena front.

I was too attached to my beautiful Urza Oko deck (I didn’t prepare enough for the first MCQW I would be double queing along side the modern GP in Austin. It cost me as I woke up and played poorly to a swift 2-2 exit with Jetski Fires before heading over to the GP)

I lost a win and in and got 17th there. Never have I played a tournament with a bigger edge over all non mirrors in the field! Unfortunately I played 7 mirrors and managed a lowly 4-2-1 in them.

I can’t make it through these gauntlets on autopilot anymore.

I’m only 27, but my seemingly rapid reduction in processing speed has made me feel like I’m somehow getting too old for this grind.

The way I have dealt with it?

Accepting it.

As much as I hate to admit it; I am not the same 17 year old wunderkind anymore and the young guns have a big edge on me.

I have to take all the necessary steps to take care of myself and do everything in my power to make sure when I’m in the trenches; inside the matches in the important tournaments; I can be as focused on the games as possible. This is just so I can make the playing field close to level.

Otherwise I am going to be reading cards, and playing slow unconfident magic.

This is a big one; I believe.

I think one thing a lot of players are lacking in pushing themselves to higher levels is the confidence in their decisions. I used to struggle with this a lot (still do sometimes) and I would constantly second guess things multiple times every turn.

Over time, I’ve learned that if you put in the work...

You practice;

Play actual games and learn the interactions;

You can really lean on your instincts and exude confidence in yourself that goes a long way in winning matches of Magic the Gathering.

(Look at almost all of the best players. They are confident in their decisions in the games, even when they end up making mistakes.)

But enough with the nonsense; let’s get to the tournament prep so we can blaze through that boring shit and get to the sweet 16 PT rounds

(spoilers: there may be more than 16)

Collin Rountree is torn between testing with Me Ty Will and the Houston Slack, and testing with team 5% captained by Allen “The Process” Wu.

Of course the choice is obvious, but Collin doesn’t want to leave all the local bangers in the dust.

He lobbies on our behalf, and Me Ty Will and Eddie all join team 5%.

I am not a stranger to large testing teams.

I spent four PTs testing with team TCG/SCG and we averaged around 15 people. The difference was that we always met up in person a week or more ahead of time for an intense testing period, and also I guess we had more dueling personalities.

Shoutout to everyone on those squads those were great times.

But when you have Steve Rubin Seth Manfield Corey Burkhart Andrea Mengucii mixed with Brad BBD Martell Kibler mixed with Me Fennell GerryT Josh Cho mixed with Ari Lax trying to organize everything for everyone.....

Anyone who knows these people can see how this led to some logistics issues and some heated arguments about who is not pulling their weight, or who is just showing up late and mooching, or who keeps brewing decks with no mana bases and sideboards and bringing them to Brad telling them they are great and we have to play games with them (another shoutout to Fennell, hope he reads this and fires up a modo draft tonight. And shoutout to Brad for creating the no 75, no games rule. You can’t fucking say you made a deck if you don’t have a manabase or a sideboard, and some brewers out there may need to hear that again.)

Team 5% (7.1673746%) is all online testing.

We use a discord with dedicated channels to all the constructed decks, all the limited topics, logistics, and chalkdiesel/washed bad beat/rant rooms/RIP Rimrock Knight etc. etc. so you can see how it stays pretty clean, organized, and simple.

But no really, having so many people gives us an edge on many fronts.

There is usually always someone available to battle. We can cover a lot of ground really quickly. Multiple people are brewing and many people are tuning the known decks. Lots of different opinions and we end up covering all the limited archetypes quickly as the drafts pile in.

All of this being said, my best two PT results from the past are when I worked alone.

I usually draft infinite (75-100) times (when I lose I drop and draft again. And sometimes I drop when winning just to draft again) and I just try to play the best deck in constructed.

This I have learned is a recipe for success for me.

But I was happy to join this team. My intention was to just do the same thing, but have some people to talk to while I drafted 75-100 times and tuned the best deck.

I worked with a few of these players back in the TCG days (shoutout to Ari and Corey, and again to Corey for winning the PT let’s gooooooo) and everyone that I heard was currently on this 5% team; I liked.

So for my testing I did almost purely magic online.

I did around 60 drafts after all was said and done. In constructed, I played a ton of UW control and small amounts of all the other stock decks, and watched a lot of streams.

I wanted to be familiar with the format but not go too hard until the days leading up to; during; and right after the first 2 RPTs.

What a weird dynamic, having 2 pro tours 5 days before deck submission for your pro tour.

It really worked out in our favor because our team is so big and we were able to quickly attack the new and perceived future metagame.

Nothing at those two tournaments made me waiver from wanting to register UW control.

I was still beating everything, and I predicted the metagame would be 20%ish UB invertor and then spirits, red, black, and sultai delerium/invertor uro decks would be all around 10%.

When I say I was beating everything, I was beating everything.

Granted these were in leagues, but it was mostly all against real decks and my constructed rating was skyrocketing above my limited.

Not a thing I am accustomed to.

I had a 17-1 record against mono red, and no cap. I had a 12-2 record against mono black. I had a 8-1 record against UB invertor.

I crushed Collin so badly with our teams current front running mono white devotion that he decided to add 4 Gideon Ally of Zendikar to the maindeck and try again.

A 4-0 for me later in which he resolved 5 Gideons led to him telling the discord he is off it. “Bursavich just beat me every single game and I resolved gideon in all of them.”

The only deck I ever lost matches to was spirits but I still won more than I lost against it.

Around Monday our team was all piling on to the breach deck realizing how good it was, and I joined in to.

I played a prelim and a league and immediately bought all of the cards from cardkingdom. But after my next few matches I was feeling very conflicted.

I was very worried how bad UW was against breach, but I didn’t think breach would break 7-8% or the metagame anyway. And I can tweak UW some to have a shot I tell myself.

The breach deck is obviously busted, but it’s a combo deck with a weird puzzle-like 3 step combo.

First you have to get 2 lands into play and then play lotus field, then u have to play a thespians stage and copy it, and then u have to kill your opponent with ur huge amounts of mana.

But the deck is so consistent and sort of resilient that I found myself trying to play it like a midrange deck.

I have these faes and grazers and pores and viziers, I can block! And Fae for planeswalkers and grind people out or take all these weird dynamic lines... and then I realized I was fucking up a lot.

The games are not always intuitive to me, and I won’t be able to live with myself if I register this and play horribly to lose games I should win, considering there will likely be some number of games my deck fails and I can’t win (or my opponent is prepared with damping sphere or one of the other 1-2 cards that do anything at all to stop this abomination of a deck)

So a few hours after ordering the breach cards I am going to bed Monday night and I know I’m going to play UW control...

Shoutout to the squad though!

They really crushed it over these few days and perfected the breach list and had all the matchups figured out down to the T.

Our limited meetings were great and I believe they really helped everyone a lot and we had an overall great showing in limited.

I spend all day Tuesday and Wednesday with magic online open and the discord on my other monitor.

I occasionally jam some games with teammates but for many many hours I just stare at my UW decklist while catching up on the latest breach tech.

I just stare at the deck.....

For hours

I went to get lunch and came back and stared some more.

It was perfect and there was just nothing to cut.

I wanted another hard counter in my deck but could not find the space.

I have been moving 1 card around here and there, swapping 3rd field of ruin for the 4th Glacial, swapping back, then swapping back again. going down to 1 absorb and back to the 2/2 split back to 1. Moving around seal away D sphere narset lantern thassas intervention Mystical Dispute elspeth etc. etc. but mostly keeping the same core 73-75 cards the same.

With a few hours left in submission and all the data pouring in, we realize that LSV Huey and a large swath of great players have all been spotted in leagues today playing breach.

I am suddenly panicked bc the matchup is still quite bad.

I have a few good cards, but nothing to swing it past like a 33% matchup at best.

I know damping sphere is my only real option if I want to respect it, and I’m of the mindset that doing so is normally a bit silly.

While the deck is obviously busted, it’s been 5 days and many players are uncomfortable playing decks of this style.

My general guess is that it breaking 6-7% of the field will still be unlikely, and I think it pushing above 10% would be crazy.

So I can expect to play vs it once on average??

Not so fast.

This is a new RPT with a wide open field, but still a lot of goats at the top.

Turns out you almost always have to defeat multiple goats to get the trophy in PT’s...

And I didn’t fly to Phoenix just to have a good ole time and settle for 6th place, so I man up and delete 2 Monastery Mentor for 2 Damping Sphere.

This will hurt me in mirrors and vs Invertor, but I am confident I will be fine anyway.

With 10 minutes left in submission I consider adding a 3rd sphere but am too lazy to open back up my laptop and know I won’t be able to cut any of the beautiful cards in my sideboard for it anyway.

Enough with the boring shit; let’s get to the tournament!!!

Part2 coming tomorrow!

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seraphimagick-blog · 7 years

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Unlocking the Code: Part One

They ask which came first: the chicken or the egg. In her novels, award winning author J.K. Rowling presents us all with an interesting answer: that a cycle has no beginning. And so this is where we must start; by acknowledging that our life is a complex code, with no start or finish. We as humans are a matrix of complex DNA, a question of nature vs. nurture, and a fight for survival.

In my short time upon this earth, I have come to many startling realizations and epiphanies, but one that I know to be true is that personal opinion is not as valuable as science, reason, fact, or logic. The weight of the majority must not counterweigh the importance of the individual so much so, as to cause social, or cognitive dissonance.

In our day-to-day lives, we are presented with options… And many only seem to effect us personally: what we wear, or eat for example. However there is something deeper many of us don't realize: that no individual dwells on an island… And that there truly is a butterfly effect. Think deeper about this subject for a brief moment, and meditate on the topic. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and recognize, how much the world around you seems to hold you down.

Think today of all of the things you have done thus far, have done, or could do. You may be weighed down with all of the anxiety of things you must do, people you must meet… You may be depressed about things that occurred long ago… You might be angry about issues you are having. Perhaps you are frustrated about issues at work, or home… Upset, or scared about an upcoming test or surgery, nervous for a friend or coworker…

Think of all of the invisible threads that connect us as people, living and deceased… Even pets, or plants… Maybe food, or hobbies? All of the things that tie you to this universe, and to this earth… Things that you chose… Or others chose for you… A cycle? Nobody knows where it started, or when it will stop… It just is…

Some of it… The beautiful meals with family you may have had, or nights out with friends… Are incredible. Other parts like war, death, poverty, disease… Are painful to bear witness to and seem neverending. The power of one individual may seem too small to make that much of a difference… THIS IS A LIE!

Everything is connected: evey living, and nonliving being… It truly doesn't matter how it came to be, or what you believe in the end. If you choose to believe in God, satan, Alah, Jehovah, or any other religious deity or nothing af all, that is a personal choice. While yes, obviously something (or someone) created the heavens, earth, and everything on them… Why should we fight over the logistics of how it occurred?

If the bible, or Quran, or any other religious text is correct… Does that mean all others are totally incorrect? Are we all so totally conceited that we are willing to start wars, kill families and children, drop bombs that destroy countries, and ruin the lives of entire civililizations over what we believe to be true? Yes, it may be true. But are we such animals, that we are willing to slaughter each other over what someone else believes?

Whether it was a Big Bang, or Jesus Christ, or the Greek gods, is strikingly irrelevant. Look around you! War, death, poverty, disease, drug addiction, people dying in the streets… It is something that any higher power would look at and in my view, would call upon any individual to treat people kindly, and with peace, love, and understanding.

We are connected in a very deep way, and this is obvious… Whether it is due to some form of magick, evolution, divine intervention, governmental conspiracy… I don't care. I just wish for people to truly achieve what they are capable of. I have watched many go from rags to riches… And how they did it. I observed their mistakes, and how they managed to turn it around…

The strategies, methods of thinking, opinions, and tools outlined in these pages are my own personal beliefs. I consider myself somewhat of a teacher… A shaman, an author, a bit of an eccentric… But mosty, I just want to make a positive impact on the world. Before we continue… I must warn you that this book can, and will change your life. I know everyone says that. I know it sounds like some kind of sales gimmick. People lie all the time, and wear masks because they feel it helps them get by in their day-to-day life.

I am just someone who happens to be extremely observant, and is trying to document what I feel has helped me, and so many others to turn their lives around. This isn't a religious (or anti-religious) book. It isn't a secular rant about how much trans people deserve our rights (while yes, we should have our rights, and anyone who believes differently can kindly return this book to its shelf, and keep your money and transphobic nonsense to yourself). I am not after fame, or fortune (although a small loan of a million dollars would be nice).This is not about politics, or anything similar. I am merely looking to help others, and make a positive impact in the only way I know I am good at (which happens to be writing).

This book: “Unlocking the Code”, is my honest attempt to explain how people like myself who are INFJ-T personality types, organize our thoughts, and also give a deeper look into a more universal and neutral philosophical viewpoint. I will explain how changing your thought process, daily routine, and thus editing the code that is you and the world around you, can change the program that is your life… And create a better operating system: the world

I know that this sounds totally lofty, and hopeful, but I know it can be done. Time and time again, I have witnessed what others have thought to be crazy occur, due to the processes outlined in this book. I once saw a meme that said “If someone tells you that you're crazy, just remember there's some rich jerk out there, laughing their head off who invented the pool noodle”.

One small event or idea can change a lot not just for others, but for you personally. Rome was not built in a day but that doesn't mean that you cannot make something amazing happen in a day! This is 2017, and we have technology. Ther are almost 8 billion people on this planet… Even without money, resources, etc… There is always a way. Sometimes, we have to acknowledge our options, and figure out a positive strategy to move ahead.

To better explain what I mean, let me first break down what an INFJ-T even is. INFJ-T, is a Myers-Briggs type that is extremely rare… And I happen to fall right on the cusp between two types: “the advocate” and “the architect”. I would highly recommend that anyone who is struggling with personal thought process organization, learn their personality type, as it can help bring clarity to how your brain works, and how you interact with others, the world around you, and even yourself.

My personal type… Basically breaks down to: I-Introvered this means that I prefer to be alone, require quiet, and get social anxiety. I perform best when I make plans for myself, and can think on my own terms. N-Needs I am needs based… I see what myself, and others need. I try to figure out ways to fill them. My biggest problem is that I cannot figure out all of them at once, and get overwhelmed with anxiety around people. F-Feelings I am extremely empathic… I let my feelings rule me at times.Sometimes I let my heart overrule my head, and get in my way… However, I see very clearly and read what other people are feeling as well. J-Judgements I wait and pass judgment only when I have to. But once I am at a conclusion, I make a decision, I know what I have to do, and I do it. I don't care how crazy it looks or sounds, or if it bothers someone, so long as it doesn't hurt them, or me. T-thinking I think constantly… My mind is like a supercomputer… constant buzzing, and taking down data… As I take in data of needs, feelings, and judgements… I assess, reevaluate, and make plans… Then construct what I can for the future.

Overall, I construct ways to help others… This book, is an attempt to document how my brain works, so that others can hopefully gain something from the knowlege, experience, strength, and hope, that I have gathered over time.

Please have paper and pen (or something to write and draw with) handy. I would recommend that you allot yourself around an hour per day to yourself (however you have to do that) to be alone with just you, this book, and whatever else you may need (any required texts, tools, etc. will be outlined at the beginning of each chapter)

Before you go any further, please stop and think. Think of the things that you have done today, and truly reflect on them… Really think… Think as hard as you can, and truly focus. Let me explain, and demonstrate what I mean. Say you were reading this in the morning, right after a shower… where did the water come from? Was it purified? What is in it? What is in your soap? How did it react with your skin?

While all of these things may seem irrelevant, they all have an impact, and an effect on how the code of your body, and (by butterfly effect) the world work and run. Take for example your shower. Close your eyes, and envision your routine, just today… How could something as small as purifying the water, changing the soap, or altering the temperature of the water make that large an impact on your (or anyone else’s) life? Well… The answer lies in the butterfly effect, and how It effects your body's code, and the systems of everything around you… If may sound totally crazy, but hear me out:

Say you have to pay for hot water, or that there is a weird chemical in your water that is irritating your skin. Say your body wash has a fragrance that bothers your boss, or someone who you had a job interview with (causing you not to get that job), Obviously you cannot control what bothers them, but, you can control what keeps you afloat, happy, healthy, safe, and secure.

If you couldn't afford hot water, maybe you could take a bath instead, or explore cheaper soaps? If it bugs your interviewer, maybe offer to change it, of ask if they have asthma or a problem with strong smells? You could try looking online for other jobs, and see about posting your resume (maybe make one while you were online looking at those soaps), and email that interviewer? Make a mental, or physical checklist. If you have to, boil water for a bath. If you're short on cash, and your skin is irritated, look into things that may help, whether you have to go to a DR. or have to look it up on your phone, in a library, on a computer, etc. Reflect on your personal power to change what is bothering you and causing problems, and how you can make it better.

Much of the time, I find that we allow ourselves to become our own worst enemies: thinking that we have hit a brick wall, when in reality we are just beginning. We make excuses, procrastinate, or come up with a million reasons why we can't do something. Many times, it is as simple as taking a step back, taking a few steadying breaths, and letting ourselves think of our options.

While many of us are capable and able to do great things, we get bogged down by what others say, worry about what others are doing, and allow others to have power over us that is completely unjustified. Even those of us with “handicaps”, or “disabilities”, can find a successful path with hard work,

Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, and other mental illnesses are a perfect example of what I mean. They are an invisible illness. It is hard, but not impossible to manage. You just have to adjust accordingly, and make sure you set a routine, or you can fall back into unhealthy habits (not taking meds, poor self-care, hospitalizations)... And while this may seem an extreme, or bigoted example, I only use it because I feel that to a certain extent, everyone suffers from some degree of mental illness. It is more that it (like everything else in life) is a spectrum. Some people are extremely anxious, or depressed. Some people have intense anger issues, or sleep problems.

Learning to control what goes on in your brain and body, is of crucial importance. It isn't a “everyone needs to take this medication, or do this” kind of thing. It is a “everyone is a unique person, with a unique body and brain structure, a unique set of experiences, and a individual set of beliefs. Therefore, everyone has specific needs that they must attend to.” Kind of thing.

In this book, I hope to help people find themselves, and the tools they need to achieve happiness, and success. I don't care if I help all of 2 people… Because quite frankly I am one person, and my life is worth no more than anyone else's.

I know that many may be skeptical to read this book due to “she's trans”, or “she's so young”, or, “how does it actually work?”. Skepticism, and lack of trust are normal. You probably have never met me in person, you may not have even met a trans person before. You may be wondering what I am truly after in writing this book, or if it is worth the price near the barcode.

I honestly don't give two craps if you were to find it online for a dollar. I don't care if you're reading a copy you stole online, or illegally downloaded. It is merely to help others, and hopefully bring myself some further clarity.

Before we delve into the hard work that is unraveling the complex code of the universe (god I love saying that), I will leave you with some words of wisdom for the next chapter.

Self-care is crucial. Your body is like a battery: it requires certain chemicals and processes to stay charged. Once it is charged, you can start worrying about others. You will notice how easy it is to change something seemingly small, but how big of an effect it can have.

At first this can be baffling. Many may think they are hallucinating, or it is too good to be true. Some may think it is divine intervention, or else wait for something bad to happen. This is the number one mistake many of us make. Stagnancy and procrastination are humanities worst enemy: we allow ourselves to think we cannot do something. The solution is to truly push ourselves, but also to take time for ourselve, and be kind to one another.

In the end, we must realize that every day, is a new beginning. Every moment, every nanosecond… Is a new moment. Time cannot be calculated accurately (at least not 100%), so why worry? We just need to do the best we can for us, and those around us. Everything has the power to change for the better, or worse.

The world, is a complex operating system, as is the human body. We have the power to edit it as we please. The problem many of us face, is we don't use that power to its fullest potential, or we allow others to take control and start spiraling. We slip and fall, and don't get back up (or when we do, we don't know what to do). We feel we are forced to rely on others, when in reality, we only truly need ourselves, and the power of our own will to achieve whatever we must do to alter our own personal code in the way we see fit.

In the next chapter, I will discuss personal, professional, and social interactions. I will outline how to recognize toxicity in relationships, various mental and physical disorders, how to read people, how to nail job interviews, and more. Please enjoy.

Solaris A. Moreau -Official Solaris Code

#unlockingthecode selfhelp philosophy

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artloife · 7 years

Text

For the prompt 'Smile'

A/N: This is part wish fulfillment, part my reaction to the frankly amazing recent chapters by Nakamura-Sensei. This is my own kind of headcanon that’s developed about these two characters and is rather heavily dependent on all the character development that has occurred since the Dark Moon Wrap Party until the most recent chapter. This is for the Skip Beat celebration of KyokoxRen week on tumblr. For the prompt ‘Smile’

Also, I use the Japanese honorifics as I’m most used to hearing that from learning conversational Japanese. Additionally, Nakamura-sensei utilizes the inner thoughts of her characters to great effect, so I’ve done that as well. It's denoted with ‘_’.

This clocks in at around 9k so yeah.... Enjoy!

Five Times Tsuruga Ren Slipped & Then Covered with a Smile

1. Of Momose-san & an Interview

The Dark Moon Wrap Party was well underway and Momose-san was currently enjoying answering the in-depth questions of her interviewer. She was so delighted by how insightful her reporter was that she perhaps let slip something she otherwise wouldn’t have.

“Momose-san, I’m quite curious, with such a wonderfully talented cast and crew, what surprised you the most while being a part of those dynamics behind the scenes of this production?”

Momose-san perhaps could have mentioned the talented musicians they consulted with, as acknowledging more rarely-spoken of aspects of producing television was always appreciated, but what really had stuck with her most throughout shooting the show was the dichotomy of Mogami-san. So struck by how the younger actress acted during daily life, she instead replied:

“This might be silly to say, but Mogami-san, oh, who you all would know as Kyoko-san, when not in character, is astonishingly gentle and kind. And so funny! Her and Tsuruga-san were sometimes so silly together they appeared like a manzai duo! I am so glad Tsuruga-san vouched for her in the beginning, as the time we spent together not in front of the cameras, we had quite a bit of fun! And she’s just such a professional in general as well.”

Her interviewer, a little startled by her enthusiasm, nevertheless filed away that fascinating nugget of information.

“Okay, next question, what was the scene most memorable to you?” …

As Yashiro-san would snark later, Ren could have very easily avoided this misstep. However, in his opinion, he believed he covered with remarkable aplomb and so all’s well that ends well. Ren, unexpectedly and unfortunately, relearned a particular lesson today that he really should have known better than to have had to relearn. That is, he draws attention he doesn’t even know he does at the most inopportune times. ‘Boss would get a kick out of this’, he mused to himself, exasperated and still irritated on some levels.

To provide some context, a certain crew member, underling to a certain interviewer, had been struggling to find his boss’ next two interviewees after one Iizuka-san’s interview was finished. As his search met the ten minute mark, he finally spotted an odd event occurring next to an odd decoration. ‘Egyptian?? Why Egyptian?’ Then, ‘Tsuruga-san! Why are you embarrassing that nice looking lady?!’

He politely coughed to gain the couple’s attention, “Tsuruga-san, please follow me, we’re ready for you.”

The tall actor straightened up to gesture towards the interviewing space, “After you Mogami-san.”

The crew member now recognized the glamorous young woman as Kyoko-san, who then promptly ducked her head and scurried towards the seating area. The crew member shook his head to divest himself of his surprise at how chameleon-like the young actress was. Then he hurried on ahead to whisper to his boss about what he just saw. She was not even gonna believe it but he totally saw it with his own two eyes; Tsuruga-san liked to tease.

Ren, throughout the beginning of the interview, couldn’t help but kick himself for his behavior. ‘You’re getting sloppy Kuon. Tsuruga Ren is always a gentleman. What are you even doing? Mogami-san became so embarrassed that that crew member glared at me even as he felt embarrassed for her too! Get it together!’

“I know I’m a curious one, and I’m sure the fans are too, however did you think up your style for this evening? So glamorous!”

Ren suppressed a twitch at the interviewer’s question while Kyoko blushed brightly.

“Ahha, actually, it’s a bit of a funny story. Since I’m younger than everyone, and this was my first real event like this, I was a tad self-conscious about it. But actually Kijima-san was so nice, when I mentioned it, he introduced me to some stylists and they just kind of went wild. I was a bit surprised but he helped me out a lot with it.”

Ren again attempted to rein in his temper as the chatter continued in this vein for the next couple minutes. Really, his more physically-inclined urges to rearrange Kijima-san’s face and/or to outright speak ill of him was slightly hypocritical after all that had just happened. Nevertheless, Ren had to take a calming breath and bite his tongue.

“You’re such an interesting topic of conversation tonight Mogami-san! First Momose-san, and now Kijima-san, and, from what I hear, even Tsuruga-san, they all really seem have great relationships with you in particular out of this cast. Tsuruga-san, I’m dying to know, has Mogami-san always captivated you, or have you two developed such a wonderful relationship for a different reason?”

For a half second, Ren stopped breathing and his eyes widened in shock. The miniscule reactions were his only tell, fortunately, and he smoothly transitioned into his trademark media smile.

“Apologies, but I’m not quite sure I understand the question?” Ren’s voice came out as smoothly as ever, and he breathed a sigh of relief. God, where did this even come from??!

If the interviewer’s smile became more shark-like, Ren was positive he was imagining it. “Well Momose-san compared your behind-the-scenes antics to that of a manzai duo, I confess I am intrigued. You’ve never really been one for comedy such as that, as far as we the public know, so is it Kyoko-san’s influence, or are you two just that comfortable with each other?”

Ren attempted to control his urge to clench his fists in frustration but replied, “Ah, that’s a bit of humorous take from Momose-san, I’m sure. We’re just from the same company is all, so we know each other from meeting at the office on occasion.”

Kyoko was nodding along a bit too frantically, “Ah, yes! Tsuruga-san and I have just come across each other on occasion at the office. Other than working on Dark Moon together, we don’t have too much else in common.”

“Hmm, how surprising, and Momose-san mentioned that you had to vouch for Mogami-san here at the beginning of production, Tsuruga-san. Can you explain that a little more? What gave you that confidence?”

Ren suppressed his want to reach out to settle Kyoko’s slightly bouncing knee. This interviewer had definitely gotten off track some, perhaps he could manage to wrangle it back on course to soothe Kyoko’s nerves a little.

“It’s quite simple really. There were concerns Kyoko-san didn’t have enough experience for such a vital role. However, the director was positive she was right for the job, and I know our company president had vouched for this production, and what little I had known at the time of Kyoko-san’s professionalism were all enough for me to have that confidence.” He risked sending Kyoko a reassuring smile which did seem to settle the bouncing knee.

Kyoko smiled back up in return before turning her gaze back to the interviewer, “Really, it was only with all of my costars’ faith and help that I managed to create a Mio I was proud of.”

Promptly diverted by this part of the topic, the interviewer returned to the normal questioning about the production process. Ren let out a sigh of relief, Thank God. You need to cool it Kuon. Ren, with his temper now controlled, began to rebuild his character defenses but still felt the looming threat of Kuon’s fury.

After the interview Yashiro shot Ren an unimpressed look that got his hackles up. “What Yashiro-san?”

Yashiro sighed and shook his head, “Honestly Ren, all of this could very easily have been avoided. I know you know that. I’ve told you. The president’s told you. Be careful. This role you currently have is making you slip up. The rest of the people here might not have noticed how angry you were throughout that entire interview, but Kyoko-chan and I have noticed your temper all evening. I’m sure the president, were he here, would have as well.”

Ren’s jaw muscle jumped as he clenched his teeth before replying, “I can handle it. And besides, that interviewer just got some fluff about cast dynamics. It’ll be a hit. While I understand your concerns, my issues don’t ever interfere with my work. I don’t let them.”

(Ren will come to regret those words later.)

2. Guam; Tsuruga-san on the Day of Kyoko’s Departure

Ren was very quietly basking in how he and Kyoko were able to talk somewhat normally. She might have been scolding him about eating but after all that had occurred here in Guam, he could only feel relief that she was talking to him. That she was talking to him at all after the way he’d treated her throughout the past weeks was a miracle in his opinion. But, he had a niggling guilty feeling he didn’t think he could keep his silence about.

“Mogami-san,” Ren interrupted her mid-rant hesitantly, “I appreciate that you want to make sure I’m eating while I finish up here. But-”

He quieted for long enough that Kyoko cocked her head to the side, “Tsuruga-san?”

He raised his head to shoot her a faint smile, “I just really wanted to apologize.”

“Tsuruga-san? I’m not sure what you mean?”

Ren took a deep breath, “My behavior as Cain and BJ has been the cause of an inordinate amount of issues for you.”

Growing increasingly alarmed at this unexpected turn of events, Kyoko started to say, “Tsuruga-san, please don’t-!”

“Please let me finish. I have caused you a great deal of issues in the past weeks. I recognize that I have had difficulty with this task. I’ve been overly possessive, overly aggressive, and have broken character several times.” He paused for a second trying to control his embarrassment but then continued.

“I am but a man. I make mistakes. That you have had the patience and fortitude to put up with it is amazing and you have my everlasting gratitude.” To better accent this, Ren gave her a partial bow in the traditional style she preferred. Straightening back up, he caught sight of her very red face and the fingers she twisted nervously in her lap. ‘My God, but she’s so adorable she leaves me breathless’.

“Please look at me Mogami-san.” She shyly started looking up but had to duck her eyes again as she saw his dazzling smile.

“Please never forget how amazing you are Mogami-san. Of your own willpower and grace, you have made it through this very trying task of ours. I am not exaggerating when I acknowledge how wonderful you were at that.”

“Tsuruga-san, please, I do appreciate this, really, but please stop talking.” Kyoko had to bury her face in her hands to calm down for a minute or two. Then, once she felt she could, she turned her gaze back to him.

“I have only been able to do this because of your support. As a fellow actor, you constantly push me to be better. I had to do my best. I had to. Do you get it?”

Ren, now relieved he was able to apologize well enough, shot her another smile. “That is indeed quite the praise coming from you. Thank you again.”

(Once his door is shut after seeing her off a little while later, Ren will take a deep breath, straighten his backbone and swear to not disappoint her.)

3. Lory & the Box’R Incident

Ren let out a frustrated sigh in his Cain getup as he followed Ten-san into Lory’s office, “I thought we’d decided to not have me do promo work for Tragic Marker? For the mystery?”

Lory, finishing up a phone call, just waved them further into the office, “Don’t worry about it Director-san, I’ll arrange transportation for her. Thanks for the notice, you can be at ease now.”

He finished up his goodbyes and then turned to Ren, “I know, I know, but things change. Don’t worry, it’s still all hush hush. The movie’s studio marketing team just wanted some stills just in case it became necessary. However I do need to come with you to hammer out details, so please follow me out.” Miss Woods waved them off as Lory and Ren strode out to a waiting car, attempting to be as unobtrusive as possible.

“The studio should be set up by the time we get there, no worries. I know you and Yashiro-san are on a tight schedule. I just happen to need to kill two birds with one stone.” Lory remarked cheerfully while on the way to the studio. Ren sighed and shook his head but kept his thoughts to himself as they reached their destination.

They walked through the building, heading towards Tragic Marker’s marketing and publicity office, but Lory became distracted by a hallway marked off and labeled as “Box'R Shooting”. Ren shot Lory a suspicious glance but Lory ignored him and ducked into the hallway.

“Director Anna, what seems to be the hold up here?” The Box’R director whipped around in surprise as he saw Lory Takarada approach him on his set. Motioning for his Assistant Director to take over, the director met him halfway.

“Takarada-sama! I’m so sorry to interrupt your day!”

Lory put a finger to his mouth to motion for a quieter tone of voice. “I’m going for secrecy and the element of surprise today. I confess, once you had called me about about her needing a ride tonight, I’d been curious to see what my talent had been doing. She’s a bit of a pet project for me. This was a good excuse for me to check it out.”

As Lory settled into a chair next to him, the director leaned back in his own and happened to catch sight of an intimidating figure cloaked in ragged black clothing. He paused for a moment, and then decided not to ask. Company presidents such as these tended to be…eccentric to say the least.

He turned his attention back to LME’s president. “Well, Kyoko-chan is doing decently at the moment. But in this scene I’m trying to capture a certain dynamic. Natsu’s supposed to be more possessive of Rumi-chan’s character here as Rumi-chan is trying to tell a boy she likes him, but maybe Kyoko-chan is unused to feeling possessive of toys because she’s not quite capturing that air.” The director paused a moment to eye the cloaked figure again as he could have sworn he heard a faint chuckle come from that direction.

Lory spoke up, “Let me see if I follow, the boy there is who is being confessed to, and Natsu is supposed to come across the scene and then perhaps interrupt because she doesn’t want Rumi-chan’s character to pay attention to someone else? She’s used to always being able to play with her whenever she likes? That kind of thing?”

“Something like that. We’re working on different takes as most of of the blocking is improvised by Kyoko-chan so we get more natural reactions to her bullying by everyone else around her. It’s somewhat experimental on my end, for sure. But Natsu is the spark everyone else needs to react against. So, unfortunately for this scene in particular, until I get what I’m looking for in her, we’re not gonna get the right reaction from everyone else.”

Ren, situated behind Lory and leaning against the wall of the studio, was people watching. He wondered if anybody had some cigarettes and maybe a lighter. He could really use a smoke break. Yashiro-san has been so thoughtful to rearrange his schedule as this had come up and he had such a limited window of time before he had to return to the shooting in Guam. But now they were probably going to be late to his final dinner meeting because the president had yet again gotten distracted and dragged him along in his wake.

He sighed. At least he got to watch Kyoko work. He so very rarely got the chance to watch her in her element without a running commentary by Yashiro-san. It was quite a wonderful thing to experience. His gaze zeroed in on the young man and woman near Kyoko. ‘Her costars I imagine. But what’s that boy doing?’

He straightened up a little and looked closer. He might have been imagining it, but the boy kept touching Kyoko’s arm to get her attention. He frowned. But then it happened again. His frown deepened as Kyoko made more of an effort to step back out of the boy’s space and physically focus her attention more on what the crew was saying. The movement seemed almost unconsciously done. As if she’d had to do it before.

Ren was momentarily distracted by a tech crew member stepping off the set and patting his left jacket pocket. ‘Ah, bingo, some smokes’. He waited for the crew member to get a little closer to where he was at before he stepped towards him. ‘Discreet and quiet, yes I am paying attention to your instructions Boss, but also, I could use a smoke break’.

“Hey, do you mind if I bum a light and cigarette off ya?” Ren made sure to speak in Cain’s deeper and huskier voice but with an effort to be polite and quiet. The crew member was startled to be approached by such a figure but soon relaxed and handed them over. Ren nodded in thanks and turned back to eye the contained chaos that was the set, making sure to keep track of where Kyoko was.

Lory watched idly as crew and the cast members rearranged things for another run through, turning a few thoughts over in his head. Possessiveness huh…he mused and then smiled. “Director Anna, I may have an idea for you. Have you cleared people’s schedules this evening? Would I be imposing upon your schedule too much if you indulge me in this?”

“I would really appreciate it, actually. This may be out of my reach if I’m just not communicating well,” the director confessed.

Lory turned a bit in his chair and gestured at Ren to come forward. Ren sighed mournfully but he put away the cigarette and lighter in his inner jacket pocket.

“Boss?”

Director Anna warily eyed the taller man and the President as he heard the English being spoken.

“Cain, go greet your sister. She must be missing you.”

Ren froze and quietly began to panic. ‘Shit, what on earth is he thinking? Mogami-san was only comfortable because we were the Heels around people we didn’t know. How is she going to explain this?’

“Boss, I’m not sure… - “

“Please, indulge me.”

Ren sighed but straightened up and headed towards the set. ‘Maybe I should have been paying attention…’

He focused more on bringing Cain out and tuned Lory out, who was currently asking the director for the assistant director to make sure the cameras didn’t start rolling.

He faintly heard a, “It’s just a little secret project of mine after all. Can’t have anything leaked yet.” from Lory’s direction but by then he was already mostly Cain wanting to see his sister.

Cain took a step closer to the set, trying to not grab too much attention as he tried to sneak a little closer to his sister. He was somewhat successful and got only a few odd looks before he made it close enough.

“Setsu.” His voice came out as a command.

Kyoko stilled, heart in her throat as Natsu flew away from her by virtue of one simple word. In the next heartbeat she was Setsu. Setsu, who hadn’t seen her brother in what seemed like so long and desperately missed that voice. She started looking around, thoroughly distracting the people around her.

Rumi-chan, having caught sight of Kyoko’s face changing, was rather surprised. This caught the attention of her co-star Aoki-kun. They both turned to follow where Kyoko was going.

“Big brother?” Setsu’s brother suddenly seemed to appear in her line of vision. She quickly stepped off the set and headed towards him.

“Big brother! Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

Cain shrugged, opening up his arms to get a hug, “I was lonely without you. Didn’t you miss me too?” His face started sliding into puppy-dog eyes the longer Setsu stood still.

Kyoko wasn’t too terribly surprised as Cain often acted like this but at the same time she was attempting to corral Setsu’s feelings as they were in public. Ultimately, the puppy dog eyes won out. Kyoko blushed but stepped into his waiting arms. ‘So warm…’she sighed gratefully.

“Of course I missed you. Anytime I’m not with you is the worst time of my life.” Setsu murmured.

Cain patted her head and smiled gently, “Also, I’m missing my lighter. Did you take it with you?”

She stepped back, hands on her hips, “Why on earth wouldn’t you just buy another one?”

The puppy dog look was back, “But you picked that one out.”

Setsu stomped her foot in exasperation, “Fine, fine. But if I check that pocket, and it’s there, you’re never living this down.”

Rumi-chan, Aoki-kun and the onlookers were utterly flabbergasted at the behavior, the language, and the now apparent lack of respect for personal space of these two individuals.

“Um, Rumi-chan, who is that? Why are they speaking English?!” Aoki-kun whispered to Rumi.

“Rumi-chan has no idea…” And then she blushed as Kyoko started opening the other man’s jacket and appeared to be searching the pocket for something. ‘So forward! Why isn’t she intimidated by him? So amazing!’

“This is so rude! We’re in the middle of a job!” Aoki-kun was no longer whispering. A couple of crew members overheard but motioned to where the director was sitting and watching.

“I don’t think the director cares actually…” Aoki huffed at the crew member’s sidebar to him.

“Cain! Honestly, you’re never living this down! You have it right here!” Setsu shook her head at her brother as she produced the lighter and cigarette.

Cain just shrugged and smiled, “Wanna join me for a smoke?”

Setsu raised an eyebrow, “You never let me smoke with you, even though I’ve been doing it for ages. You don’t want your precious sister near that nasty stuff is what I believe you’ve said.”

Cain’s eyes flicked to something behind her as he moved in closer, “But I miss you. Don’t you want to spend time with me?” He placed a proprietary hand on her hip as he stepped nearer to her. Kyoko felt a thrill go up her spine as she felt his body heat.

“Well…, I haven’t had a break yet, so I don’t see why not.” She cast her gaze downward shyly as she tucked a couple fingers into his coat’s outer pocket.

At this point in time, Aoki had had about enough, “Hey! We’re kind of busy here! Why don’t you go wait til we’re done?”

The snarl that came across Cain’s face as he tucked Setsu closer to him frightened Aoki-kun out of his wits enough to stop speaking. Kyoko whipped her head around and shot him her murderous Setsu glare.

In Japanese, she snapped back angrily, “Don’t you dare be so rude to my nii-san! You’re not even worthy to breathe the same air as he, you trumped up toad!” Kyoko had to bite back other angry words but really, Aoki-kun’s lack of respect for personal space had irritated her one too many times today and she relished in indulging Setsu’s anger.

Aoki’s face turned bright red but he stormed away. Rumi-chan looked between his retreating back to the two scarier individuals in front of her. She timidly tried to speak up, “Um, Kyoko-san. I’m not sure what’s going on, but would you like to uh, introduce your nii-san to the rest of us?”

In her ear she heard Cain mutter, “Ugh, just like the rodent.”

Setsu’s eyes blazed in remembered anger. Kyoko tried to control it but it came out anyway. She sneered back in response, “Certainly not! This is my nii-san! He only cares about me and I only care about him!”

She turned on her heel, grabbed Cain’s hand and tossed over her shoulder, “I’m taking a break!” The delighted smile Cain wore on his face as she did this very much disturbed the crowd of onlookers, who were making no secret of the fact that they were fascinated by these turn of events. Kyoko went to continue stomping out but then heard a deep voice ring out:

“Cut!!”

Cain promptly stopped their exit, dragging Setsu to a stop as well. Kyoko felt her blood slowly turn to ice in her veins as she recognized that voice. She was immediately horrified at her behavior. She swung around to face the president’s direction and bowed deeply.

“I am so sorry president! Director Anna! I meant no disrespect!”

She was astonished to hear a deep laugh, “No worries at all Kyoko-chan. Director Anna was just indulging in an idea of mine!” He faced the director, “Do you see?”

Director Anna was simply stunned into nodding dumbly. Lory clapped his hands enthusiastically, “Very well done, all around!”

Ren shot Kyoko a small but reassuring smile. Kyoko sagged in relief. ‘Just another crazy bit of hijinx by the president. Thank the heavens’. She caught Ren’s eye again and tilted her head in question. In return, he held a finger to his lips and mouthed to her, “Talk later?”

She smiled brightly and nodded her assurance. She hadn’t even thought she’d be able to see him so soon. Maybe talk to him on the phone, but not actually see him until he returned from Guam for good. Oh she could hardly contain her excitement.

Lory clapped a hand onto the director’s shoulder as he stood up, ‘Well Director-san, I believe I’m needed elsewhere, I hope this was helpful.”

The director continued to nod in a bit of a dazed fashion. Lory let out another laugh and gestured for Ren to follow him back out. Ren bowed to the Box’R cast and crew and smiled, then turned to follow Lory.

He stopped once as he couldn’t resist the urge to ruffle Kyoko’s hair. After smiling at her once more and getting one in return, Ren continued on. Unfortunately, as he was exiting, he also caught sight of the young man from earlier. Ren allowed another snarl to cross his face. The boy seemed both infuriated and terrified. ‘Good, he deserves it. Disrespectful whelp’. Lory turned at the doorway of the studio to check if Ren was following him, but by then Ren’s trademark sunny smile was already back in place.

Lory rolled his eyes, “You ain’t foolin no one boy.”

“Yes Boss.”

(When Kyoko and Ren next talk on their ride home that evening, she will delightedly tell him about how she nailed her scene in the very next run through. He will smile and ruffle her hair.)

4. Morizumi-san & the Day of Kyoko’s Audition

Morizumi had been berating Kyoko for sometime in between breaks of this audition as other actresses went through the reaction test. Kyoko had just stepped out to get some air after the intensity of her own, but she was doomed to have the girl follow her out. Boy did spoiled brats grind her gears. She attempted to keep quiet and withstand this most recent, and bewildering behavior, in an effort to keep professional.

Erika-san was depending on her to make it through. And Kyoko felt she had to so she could do this role justice. And naturally, she very badly wanted to act with Moko-san. Come on girl, this’ll be worth it later! Her half-hearted attempts at pepping herself up seemed weak in comparison to the rant of one Morizumi-san.

At the same time, Ren, having returned finally from Guam and the shooting of Tragic Marker, had had a little bird (Yashiro, it was Yashiro), tell him where he could find Kyoko. He may have been a little bit unreasonably excited to see her. But finally, he’d have the time to take her out for White Day now that TraMa was done shooting. He couldn’t wait to ask her.

He pulled onto the location set, hoping he could have Yashiro just bring her out so he could ask her without causing too much of a hassle for the other people on set. He pulled onto the ditch of the road, and parked his car offset and out of the way. Stepping out of the car, he meandered up to the nearest building but caught a voice coming around the other side of the building.

He went unnoticed enough that he caught the tail end of some harsh words. He frowned and peeked around the corner. The surprise turned quickly to a softly simmering anger as he saw a woman berating Kyoko. He quickly disregarded the woman’s disdain and gently tried to catch Kyoko’s attention, “Mogami-san, how is everything going?”

Kyoko, utterly shocked at his appearance, was stopped from answering as Morizumi immediately recognized Ren. Completely distracted from her rant, she latched onto his arm excitedly, and reintroduced herself as a previous costar.

Ren threw a partially concealed smirk to Kyoko, who appeared slightly startled by it, and said as a sidebar to Morizumi’s inane chattering, in English, “Emmental?”

Kyoko quickly hid a snicker. Morizumi looked between them, confused. But she knew she’d just been made fun of even if she couldn’t figure out how.

She replied angrily in the same language, “Excuse me?!” She stepped back from Ren, frowned and added in Japanese, “I would never have expected such rudeness from you Tsuruga-san.”

Ren switched to his more gentlemanly manner and smile, not letting his anger show, (even as Kyoko’s grudge’s started peeking out and happily gazed at his look) and softly remarked, “Nor I you, Morizumi-san, what on earth could my kouhai have done to you to deserve such vitriol?”

Morizumi, embarrassed at the call-out, stepped back and let go of his arm. She had no appropriate response and so turned and hurried back inside, with one parting shot, “Mogami-san, don’t expect to win this, I have it locked down.”

Kyoko’s brow furrowed as she withstood the sense of irritation that flared up inside at that.

Ren stepped closer to her as he put a hand on his hip and sighed, “It is unfortunate, but sometimes nepotism gets people quite far in this industry. I’m sure this is tough for you Mogami-san, but please don’t give up. Your Momiji will be worth the trials it’ll take to make her a success.”

Kyoko smiled up at him, “I appreciate that very much Tsuruga-san, it seems you always know just what to say. You and Moko-san and Yashiro-san. You’re all rooting for me. I promise I won’t let you down!”

Ren shot her an indulgent smile and ruffled her hair, “You definitely won’t, but also, I did come here for another reason besides this.”

Kyoko batted away his hand. “Tsuruga-san, you’re slipping into nii-san. Please be more careful.”

Ren smothered his frustration and tried again. “Mogaaaami-san. I’m back two whole days early and you haven’t even said ‘welcome back’ to me yet. Is that how you’re supposed to treat an honored sempai?”

“We-Welcome back!” Kyoko stuttered with a red face as she bowed in greeting. Suddenly, she popped back upright, “Tsuruga-san, why are you back early?”

“Oh things were completed quicker than expected. It’s actually just that boring of a thing. But, more importantly, I’ve had to wait until shooting has been completed due to time constraints to ask this. I wanted to treat you to dinner for your return gift. You were so considerate in my gift I’m obligated to return the favor. What do you say? When would you be free?”

Kyoko was not quite recovered from her first bout with embarrassment and she struggled painfully with cramming all of her emotions into a mask of neutrality.

“Ahhhh… that’s a good question. Yashiro-san would know my schedule better than I do I believe…”

Ren smiled and urged her with a hand on her waist to go ahead of him back into the building, “Let’s go find him then, shall we?”

Kyoko was attempting to survive her acute embarrassment at his courteousness as she searched for Yashiro once they entered. “So, shooting went well? No one, um, bothered you too much?”

Ren gazed down at her fondly, “No, nothing like that happened. Everyone made sure to keep their distance. I’m sure the director helped with that.”

Kyoko smiled weakly back up at him and was rather relieved to pick Yashiro out of the other people in the lobby in that next instant. She waved him over once she caught his eye while Ren tried to not stand out too much.

Yashiro hurried over, “Ren! We didn’t expect you back so soon!”

“Yes, it’s quite nice to finish ahead of schedule. Now then, I need to take up some of Mogami-san’s time. When is she next free?”

Yashiro was a little startled at his forwardness but quickly opened up his planner, “Well, let’s see here, ah, perhaps tomorrow evening? She seems to be free after seven it looks like.”

“Excellent! Where shall I pick you up at Mogami-san?”

“Eh heh…ah, perhaps just LME? I think I’ll be coming from a meeting about a commercial?” Kyoko was now willing herself to make it through this encounter on straight politeness. ‘Really Tsuruga-san, you’ll give a girl ideas. That’s dangerous didn’t you know’.

“I quite appreciate you helping me out with this Mogami-san. I do so hope you wear your Princess Rosa. This is supposed to be fun after all. She should be there with you.”

Kyoko shot him a confused look at his enthusiasm and effusiveness, “I will make sure to do so Tsuruga-san.”

Ren stuffed his hands into his pockets to make them behave, “Well then I leave you two to it. I’m headed home for some much needed sleep.” He turned to walk away but did not get very far.

“Tsuruga-san.

He tilted his head back to look at Kyoko, “Yes?”

“I expect to see videos tomorrow. Please don’t forget to eat tonight also.”

He shot her the smile that her grudges wailed about, “As you wish Mogami-san. As I’ve said, no matter how odd it sounds, if it’s from you, I will obey.” He bowed slightly and made it out the exit before she could respond.

(Kyoko in fact, will not be able to answer, as Yashiro will be squealing too loudly for her to hear herself think anything else other than, ‘damn that man and his playboy ways’.)

5. Of a Date that is Definitely not a Date but an Obligation

“Director Kurosaki!” Kyoko stopped short right in the doorway of the meeting room.

“Kyoko-san. Nice to see you again. How have things been?” The director stood and offered a slight bow that Kyoko returned.

“Oh, not bad. Busier now than they used to be.”

Kurosaki chuckled,”I’m sure, please, have a seat. The marketing execs for this company just pulled me in today and I decided to come along to the meeting to get a feel for everything. Also, I thought it might be a good idea to have someone in on this that’s rather familiar with how you work already.”

Kyoko bowed to the rest of people at the table and hurried into a seat so as not to keep them waiting. Kurosaki’s silence seemed to prompt an older gentleman to start speaking.

“Thank you for meeting with us Kyoko-san. We’re very happy you’ve accepted our proposal. Our team first noticed you as Mio and we were eagerly looking forward to your next big role. When Box'R began airing, our dear assistant here immediately recognized you even with how different you looked. After that, we simply had to put this offer forward to you.”

Kyoko swept her gaze in the direction of said assistant and saw a shy looking young lady who peeked up at her, blushed, and then turned her gaze away again. Kyoko almost forgot her surprise at his words so amusing was the reaction. Kyoko spoke up.

“I’m quite pleased my work is getting recognition. Thank you very much sir.”

“Please, you can call me Sakichi-san, everyone else does.”

The last couple of people in the group then introduced themselves and they quickly delved into what they had planned out so far.

Sakichi-san folded his hands as he excitedly leaned forward, “So I really want you as part of our group of style models, so that’s what I’m planning long term for this company. The ultimate decision will be based on how well this commercial deal pans out. But, Saishi Style is quite interested in having this pan out long-term.”

Kyoko tried her best to calm down her rising excitement so she kept her professional air. This offer was sounding better and better by the minute. She nodded thoughtfully as Sakichi-san continued laying out his ideas while Kurosaki began jumping in with some of his own.

So diverted did the small team become while discussing ideas of the style of commercial that they lost track of time. Which, on any other day, wouldn’t have been a problem. … Ren had had a full eight hours sleep for the first time since he couldn’t even remember when. He woke up the day after returning from Guam feeling refreshed, and a bit befuddled. Then he remembered the day before and what he had planned for that night. It was that thought that woke him all the way up in the middle of brushing his teeth. ‘Ah, shit, forgot to set up a quiet corner at Narisawa’s where we won’t be noticed’.

He hurried to finish getting ready for the day so he could call up his current favorite restaurant to see if he couldn’t make reservations for that night. Once that was done he decided to relax until he had to pick up Kyoko and just flipped on the television to see what he’d had recorded. Box’R was on the list and he had to chuckle as remembered their escapade under Lory’s direction. Although, now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure he’d never gotten the full story of that disrespectful boy out of Kyoko. ‘Well, doesn’t matter at the moment’, he pushed that train of thought away as decided to turn the show on. He could always ask that evening. … Ren checked his watch again. It was pushing a quarter after seven. He very rarely knew Kyoko to be late. Unless she’d been held up somewhere. He straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the LME lobby wall and decided to go searching. They had a reservation after all. He knocked slightly against the door of Sawara’s office to get his attention once he got there.

“Sawara-san, I apologize if I’m interrupting, but I’m looking for Mogami-san.”

Sawara’s eyebrows raised at that but he checked the time and when he saw how late it’d gotten he raised himself up from behind his desk.

“You’re fine Tsuruga-san, it looks like the meeting is just running behind. I’ll go let them know.”

Ren waved him back down, “It’s alright, she’s expecting me as we had an appointment. I can go and get her. No need for us to further interrupt your work.”

Sawara smiled gratefully, he’d been almost done with the last ream of paperwork.

“I appreciate that. She’s actually just down the hall, third door on the left.”

Ren nodded in thanks as he left. Attempting to not be too disruptive, he quietly knocked on the door in question. Typically, assistants were close enough to hear that and would peek out to see what was up.

Indeed, Ren was in luck and the door opened slightly. The assistant’s eyes widened to see who knocked.

“Tsuruga-san! Ho-how may we help you?” She stuttered.

Ren gestured for her to come a little closer so he could be not too loud or distracting to the group inside.

“Mogami-san and I have an appointment we need to keep” He spoke quietly, “Will you please let her know the time?”

The assistant nodded and closed the door again. She turned and swiftly walked to where Kyoko sat chatting with Director Kurosaki. She tapped on her shoulder and leaned down to whisper.

“Tsuruga-san is outside Mogami-san. He says you have an appointment to keep?”

Kurosaki and his assistant then had the privilege of witnessing a very red-faced Mogami-san make her apologies about needing to go at the same time as insisting that yes, she really needed to leave right then. Rather amused at the flustered behavior, Kurosaki watched the door shut behind her and swiftly stood up to peek outside to see what she’d had to leave for.

He was not prepared to see the infamous Tsuruga-san, heartbreaker extraordinaire, smiling indulgently down at a very embarrassed-sounding Kyoko making heartfelt apologies.

“Mogami-san, you don’t have to keep apologizing. We’ll be able to leave in plenty of time to meet our reservation time. And besides, Narisawa isn’t the kind of place to blacklist you for something so silly.” Kurosaki was amazed to see Kyoko let him tuck a fly away bit of hair behind her ear. “Now then, we need to stop by Ten-san’s first. Please keep up.” Kurosaki, still dumbfounded by this behavior, watched as they walked away.

He stirred when he felt his assistant at his elbow, “Kurosaki-san, are they dating?”

“Maybe?” Kurosaki slipped his phone out his pocket and shot a text off to a buddy. ‘Hey, Shin-kun, Narisawa’s tonight. My treat.’ He had the sudden urge to satisfy his curiosity. …. “Why are we going to Ten-san’s? Kyoko asked as she hurried behind Ren’s larger stride.

He laughed a little and then said, “She wanted to treat you in return for her gift, and we thought you’d like it after a hard day’s work.”

“Oh, well, thank you very much for thinking of me.”

Ren pushed open Ten-san’s door as he replied, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Ren-kun! Kyoko-chan! Wonderful to see you again!” Ten directed Kyoko to a closet further inside her work area. “Come along, and Ren, wait out here.”

Ren waited patiently, amused by the excited squealing of Kyoko inside as she got to watch Ten work. About fifteen minutes later Ten-san stepped back out and presented a much more refreshed looking and fashionable Kyoko. Ren watched fondly as she bowed her thanks several times over before coming back to Ren’s side so they could leave.

Ren placed a hand at her waist to escort her back out to his car. “And do you feel fashionably beautiful now Mogami-san? Because you certainly look it.”

Kyoko ducked her head, embarrassed at the compliment, but quietly affirmed that yes she did. The sooner Tsuruga-san could get the compliment out of the way the less on guard she had to be about it.

It was a mostly quiet car ride as Kyoko attempted to settle her nerves and shore up her defenses. Ren looked over at her a couple of times trying to gauge her mood but let her relax a little. He didn’t want her uncomfortable. It was supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable evening.

By the time Ren was escorting her in with a hand on her waist into the restaurant, she was almost used to him doing so. The host, as soon as they walked in, made sure to swiftly seat them at an out of the way corner table.

“The chef will be out shortly Tsuruga-san, we know you wanted to keep a low-profile so he will come to you. May I take a drink order?” The host asked as Ren and Kyoko seated themselves.

“I’d like a bottle of moscato, whichever the chef thinks would be best.” Ren replied.

Kyoko fidgeted a bit trying to decide but eventually just asked for a water. The host bowed and left them to it. They waited a little bit longer in silence before the host returned and then whisked himself away again. Confident that he had a little time before the chef could tear himself away, Ren decided to speak up.

“How was your meeting?”

“Both exciting and rather simple. Exciting for the potential, but a simple scheduling and production planning meeting.” Kyoko sent him a small smile that he returned before he caught sight of the chef headed towards them.

The chef introduced himself and Ren turned to Kyoko and said, “Do you trust me to order? This is one of my favorite places.”

The chef beamed to hear the compliment and Kyoko felt she shouldn’t say no after that, even as suspicious as she was about Ren having a favorite place to eat, and so nodded her assent. Once the order was placed Ren turned back to Kyoko and decided to lob the hard ball right off the bat.

“Mogami-san, I’ve been meaning to ask, why do we not discuss things as we used to?”

Blinking rapidly, Kyoko responded hesitantly, “I’m sorry?”

“I told you how I felt your last day in Guam. That I really, truly appreciate all you do for me. Why, when I ask to reciprocate that support, can I not get that same regard from you?”

Kyoko quietly began to panic, “Um Tsuruga-san, I surely could never impose on you like that. You’re my respected sempai who has already helped me so much on work matters. I couldn’t possibly impose further. It’d be disrespectful.”

Ren frowned as he drummed his fingers on the table. “I’m afraid we’re having a miscommunication here. I have asked you a few times in the past couple weeks to let me be able to return the support you have shown me. Is it not more disrespectful to continue to disregard my feelings on this? You’re leaving me in a state that takes advantage of your emotional support without me being able to do that in return.”

Kyoko was stunned into silence as she contemplated this. Ren continued.

“I would not bring it up, however, this is a distinct change in attitude from how we used to be free to discuss things as we pleased. I’m not going to demand to be able to help you as you need, but I do demand the respect of you at least telling me why this has changed. Have I truly caused so many issues for you that you decided that this relationship wasn’t worth the emotional support we gained from being friends?”

Kyoko almost couldn’t believe her ears. Not only had her efforts to have a more walled off self been disrespectful, but she was actively hurting Ren’s feelings. This was the worst scenario possible.

“Tsuruga-san, I do apologize. I had not realized how I had been behaving. I could not tell you how or where or why it began, but if you truly consider us friends, I will do my utmost to treasure you as not only a respected sempai but also as a friend.”

Ren, having released some of his pent-up frustration, gently smiled at her downturned head. “Please look at me Mogami-san.” She shyly raised her gaze. “I consider you one of my best and truest friends. Please don’t forget that.”

Kyoko blushed at the compliment, (and she feared that she’d never really be not embarrassed around him by this point) but she smiled back at him, “I promise I won’t Tsuruga-san.”

“That’s all I ask for. Now, what have you been up to recently?” The conversation soon turned to lighter topics. (Kyoko had done quite well in school recently and was quite proud. Ren found it adorable.) But then they were soon distracted by being served their meal.

“This is so good Tsuruga-san, thank you!” Kyoko was delighted by the taste of her beef dish.

“I’m glad I have your trust in this aspect of my eating habits at least,” he teased. Kyoko shot him a look and promptly held out her hand.

“Speaking of, your phone please.”

“Yes ma'am.” He snickered and happily turned it over to her. As she watched his videos, he cast his eyes about the restaurant. He’d planned for it to be a later dinner as it was a weeknight and he thought it might be less busy. It seemed he was in luck again. He saw maybe a couple groups of diners near him so there would be few public witnesses to this.

He rummaged in his coat pocket for the jewelry box he’d stashed in it. As he heard Kyoko finishing up the last video he pushed the long box across the table. Startled, she gazed down at it in disbelief.

“Tsuruga-san, you didn’t.” He whistled innocently as outrage began to cross her face.

“Tsuruga-san!”

“Tusuruga-!“ He leaned forward and covered her mouth with his hand as her outrage made her voice start to get louder.

“We can do this the hard way, or we can do it the easy, less public way. What do you say?” he had to grin at the fire that blazed in her eyes as she remembered where they were. ‘My God do I love a woman with a temper.’ Trying to tuck his urge to tease away, he continued, “This is truly what I got you as a gift. I just used the dinner as an excuse to get to spend time with you not discussing work.”

Kyoko’s eyes widened over his hand. She quickly slipped her hand over his to tug it off her mouth. “Tsuruga-san!”

“Words other than you calling my name please, Mogami-san.” The urge to tease was definitely winning.

After a bit more huffing Kyoko finally ground out the words, “How do you possibly think I can accept this after everything else you’ve done for me today?”

“May I ask you instead, why do you feel unable to do so?”

Kyoko stared for a second, “Because you already did so much for me.”

Ren smiled, “Please, do you think you could list what specifically I did?”

“Well, you set this all up with the chef, and the restaurant. You and Ten-san made me look nice. You picked me up, when I was late, and drove me.”

“To elaborate, anyone can call this establishment and ask for that. That’s nothing special. Ten-san had been wanting to dress you up just for fun for a while. Because you treat her well and she wanted to return that regard. As I asked you a favor to meet with me tonight, I would naturally take care of the expenses and arranging to get you there and back. It’s only polite. Now what in this list of things have you deemed as something of so high value that you won’t let me give you your actual gift?”

Kyoko, throughout Ren’s speech, had wilted further and further into her chair. “You are cruel today Tsuruga-san.”

Ren eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I fail to see how refusing to allow your excessive inferiority complex affect actual social convention is cruel Mogami-san.”

“Was this all just an excuse for you to lambast me for my behavior?”

“Mogami-san, please, would you open your gift?”

“Answer me Tsuruga-san. I think I deserve that much.”

Ren groaned and rubbed at the crease this discussion was causing to appear between his eyebrows. “No Mogami-san, I did not, I apologize for giving you reason to believe that. But, as you may already be aware, I find myself not being able to control my tongue when you get me riled up”

He blew out a frustrated breath, and tried to soldier on, “To be perfectly frank, I do find your lack of acceptance of what I would to give you be it my attention, or help, or even gifts, frustrating. You seem to be able to accept these things from your other friends with little resistance. Can you see where I’m coming from?“

Kyoko picked at her food, shifted her gaze back to the box, and then back up to his worried face. He might have had a point there about that. He may have seen it as going back on her promise of considering him a friend. Friends had certain privileges, she knew that very well. She stuffed back her grumpiness and reached out to take the box.

She was glad to see Ren’s face clear up at the action. She flipped open the lid and promptly dropped it back down on the table once she saw what was inside.

“Tsuruga-san!“

With a voice heavy with irony, he leaned over the table and mimicked, “Mogami-san!”

Letting out a faint groan she let the back of her chair catch her exasperated self. Ren chuckled a bit to see such a dramatic thing come out of the typically reserved Mogami-san. He risked taking her hand and pulling it closer to him. She cracked open an eye just in time to see him flip the box open and take out the bracelet inside. The delicate gems were exactly like Princess Rosa in shade and depth of color but much tinier in size as they were spread out across the chain work of the bracelet.

Ren motioned between her wrist and the bracelet, “May I?“

Kyoko, grumbled unhappily but nodded her acquiescence. She struggled mightily with containing the words she wanted to say about playboy ways. ‘He’s already explained this. This is a gift because I was thoughtful in my gift. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.’

Ren promptly blew that out of the water as he finished clasping her bracelet on her wrist by giving her hand a brief kiss. He smiled up at her as she snatched her hand back, “For your perseverance Mogami-san. Any prince will be lucky to have you.”

Kyoko sniffed as she held her hand close to her, “You know I’m not interested in that Tsuruga-san. I’m focusing on my work so I can bet the best actress I can be. So I can be the number one actress in Japan!“

Ren sent her back a fond smile, “Regardless Mogami-san, you deserve to be treated well. Don’t let any man take advantage of your pragmatic attitude and have them say that you don’t deserve to be treated the best they can treat you. That, Mogami-san, is self-respect.”

Kyoko suddenly felt incredibly, incredibly dumb and felt every bit of the naivety of her seventeen years.

“I am so deeply sorry Tsuruga-san. Have you been trying to make that point this entire time?”

He chuckled and held up a hand, his forefinger and thumb close together, “Just a little bit.”

Kyoko felt a truly content smile spread across her face and bowed slightly in her chair in thanks, “I truly do appreciate what seems to be your neverending wisdom and patience Tsuruga-san.”

“I’m glad to hear that but more importantly. How do you like it?”

She smiled at him brightly, “I love it! It’s the perfect matching set.” She continued in the vein for some time, babbling about beauty and grace and fairies galore. Ren could only smile at her indulgently behind his glass of wine.

Two tables ahead of them and to the right, Shingai-san, Kurosaki’s buddy and sempai from their college's motion picture program, turned away from the couple’s table and could only say to Kurosaki’s smug face, “Damn. I guess I owe you that thousand yen.”

(When Kyoko wakes up in the morning she will first see her bracelet and necklace. It will leave her with a smile for the rest of the day.)

~Fin

A/N: Any feedback is welcome! Thank you everyone that participated in this week of KyokoxRen prompts. Your work inspired me throughout this week! It gave me the passion to get this completed, so thank you all. Regards, Artsy

#skip beat #kyokoren #kyokoren week #RenxKyoko #kyoko mogami #ren tsuruga #my stuff #kyokoren fic

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