Fruit Sniper (Crosshair)
-imagine tbb as cadets for this one :) -
Crosshair was on the brink of insanity. These regs can't shoot basic targets yet they had the balls to claim he was the defective one. Okay granted not many ten year olds could shoot like a trained hitman and he was practically mute most of the time but it was the principle of it!
"Heya, Crosshair!" Wrecker on the other hand was beaming.
"Have you got to bring that stupid toy to the mess?" He sighed.
"Hey!" The big clone pouted, "Lula is apart of this team to! Where we go, she goes! And I know it was you who made her for me."
"Did."
"Didn't."
"Did."
"Didn't."
"Anyway, doesn't it drive you insane?" Crosshair said through gritted teeth, he had indirectly started a staring contest with a reg and he was not losing.
"What insane? What ya lookin at?"
"These stupid regs."
"Reg are just regs," he shrugged, "not worth worrying about them."
The reg in particular was rapidly losing this contest. From the other side of the mess, Crosshair could see that his eyes were beginning to go red and water. Red like... oh... what a wonderful idea. Petty, yes. But petty enough to turn the insanity tables.
"Wrecker... how many watermelons can you carry?"
"Haha! More than you! .... Umm.... Why?"
"Break into the kitchen and steal as much fruit as you possibly can."
"Well what's in it for me?"
He gave a satisfactory smirk as the reg couldn't take anymore and lost the game, "you get to watch me put these Shebs in their place."
About an hour later, Wrecker and Crosshair were hiding in the kaminoans viewing platform of the mess, curtains only slightly ajar so Crosshair could see what he was doing. Was this severely breaking the rules? Yes. Did they care? No of course they didn't, it's only a crime if you get caught after all ;). The door was locked and at this point anyone in the bad batch knew the ventilation layout like the back of their hand.
"So what exactly is it you're gonna do with a sniper and fruit?" Wrecker questioned.
"Prove that regs are stupid?" Crosshair focused on the point he needed, if he short this right...
This didn't exactly provide Wrecker with much clarity.
"So what do you want me to do then?"
"Go to the vent in the mess ceiling and drop the melons of course."
"Of course." Wrecker imitated, rolling his eyes and climbed back into the vent.
As expected, Wrecker was having a growth spurt earlier than his fellow defective counterparts and the vent seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. Tech predicted that in a couple months he wouldn't be able to fit anymore. Sure he took pride in being the strong one but it suddenly made him more different than his friends; more different than he was comfortable with. But it made the vent cover easier to take off so it was a 50/50 situation.
The first water melon was casually rolled out the ceiling. Now was was crosshair going to-
A singular shot was fired, hitting the melon and making it burst with a loud bang and spraying the floor dwelling regs in a red watery mess. The cadets would have mistaken it for blood if one of them didn't get it in their mouth. The confused wails were a melody to Crosshairs ears. Nobody shall dis his squad!
Besides the one cheering Hardcase he could hear in the background.
"WOO SOMETHING INTERESTING!"
"Hardcase shut up!"
"HOW ABOUT NO?!"
"There's watermelon all over my revision notes I have a heart exam in less than an hour."
"THEY GOT HELMETS ON THEIR HEADS! BUT I GOT A WATER MELON INSTEAD! B-)"
Wrecker had a Birds Eye view on the whole scene and could see Crosshair had covered a significant amount of surface area. This was too good, their faces looked so confused! Now what if he threw down another?
It would have helped if his grey haired companion was actually looking out of the window rather than giggling into the sniper. It was only by chance he saw a large amount of green move rapidly across his peripheral vision.
"Sheb!" He cussed as he quickly leapt up to the window, barely getting the shot in time.
BANG
The pieces came at the regs this time with much more velocity, one of them being physically blown back from melon to the face. This was pure gold. He knew he was going to get in some form of trouble for this but it was totally worth it
—————————
"There's another one." Tech cocked his head towards Hunter.
"Yeah, are we being attacked or something?"
The pair of them were in the barracks, in a mutual stale mate of 'this noise is really overwhelming me but I'm not going to tell you that'.
As much as he didn't want to, Hunter concentrated on the noise's whereabouts.
"I... I think... it's coming from the mess hall."
"Didn't Crosshair and Wrecker go there?"
"Oh no?" Hunter went pale, not expecting it to be their creativity causing the ruckus, "we gotta go."
He made his way for the door but was pulled back by a concerned Tech.
"If it really is an attack we shouldn't go through the corridors!"
"Yeah," Hunter agreed, "take the vent."
There were multiple vents into the mess hall. Having more common sense than the other two, they went for the one that was closest to the floor.
"What do you see?" Tech asked.
"There seems to be no droids," Hunter surveyed the scene, "but they're all panicking about something or other. And they're... covered in fruit?"
"Pardon?"
"I'm not joking."
They clambered out of the vent, only to get hounded by the newly painted red regs.
"You!" One pointed at them accusingly, "I bet you freaks had something to do with this!"
Hunter raised his hands, "hey calm down, soldier. We just came to investigate. What's going on up here?"
"Guys!" Another reg bounced over to them, assumably Hardcase.
Despite Hunters heightened senses, he still couldn't tell him apart from the others. He felt bad about it but the guy was so hyper he could tell off personality. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.
"There's watermelons exploding everywhere, it's hilarious!"
Tech raised an eyebrow, "water melons?"
"Yes!" The angry reg butted back in, "and you can't tell me otherwise that it's you!"
"We may be more skilled than you but defying the law of gravity may be difficult even for us." He shot back in a deadpan tone.
"Well then where's q-tip and smooth brain?"
Hardcase glared at him, "they have names you know?"
"You're just as bad as them you little traitor."
"OH YEAH?!"
While Hunter tried his best to stop Hardcase going ham, Tech went about figuring out what on Kamino was going on. Melons from the ceiling? Well there was a vent... oh- OH! The vent was open with a clear face poking out the shadows and conveniently half a face behind observation deck curtains. The face in the ceiling also gave a little wave to him. Impressive. As funny as he thought this was, there was a high chance it would damage their reputation more than it was already.
"Hunter, can you do me a favour?"
"I'm a little busy right now!"
"Just go check on a ceiling vent, will you?"
Hardcases medic batch mate had now joined the fray. They had an arm each on Hardcase with the medic silently begging Hunter to not let go.
"You go!" Hunter shouted back.
Tech let out a sigh as he crawled back into the unsanitary vent. Why was it him always doing everything? It wasn't easy to scale up a vertical vent but the skill might come in handy one day. The vent was pitch black so he had to make some very well educated guesses on where he was but he was a Tech so this was fine.
Fine until he heard a "Wait Tech no-"
He had crawled straight into the melons causing one to dislodge.
"No no no oh no..." all Wrecker could do was hope that-
"I had to dip," Crosshair was coming up behind him, "The Kaminoans were breaking down the door-" he froze as he heard a loud thump.
"I don't wanna look..."
"Wrecker just look down."
He looked, "well... I don't think Hunter is going to remember any of this again."
And he was right. All Hunter remembered after the incident was a large amount of green then darkness. The melon had knocked him out cold.
———————
"Yeah and that's how the glorious Sargent was defeated by a watermelon." Crosshair smirked, Omega looked spellbound.
"Wow."
"CROSSHAIR STOP TELLING OMEGA-"
21 notes
·
View notes