#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do

[fandoms-spamdom]

Go to the smart school they said it’ll be fun they said

#my biology teacher had to leave mid class #and we have to do a graph thing #and I genuinely don’t know what to do #and I asked the kids in my class and no one knew what to do #the sub and TA were talking about Harry Styles the whole time #just #💀🙏

[autism-alley]

do i have… Opinions abt the pjo show?? maybe. in private amongst close confidants, i might. but publicly?? as a fan who wants all 5 seasons?? incredible. five shiny stars! the best show i’ve ever fucking seen im showing it 2 everyone i know

#genuinely i do fucking love this show #well. do i. #if i stew on my takes long enough maybe i’ll verbalize them #bc i wanna talk abt what i love abt it too #i just don’t know if i can talk abt them w/o touching on what i think needs improvement #might just wait until the season is over we’ll see #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #rick riordan #ris raves #pjo show crit

[femmeconomics]

hate to say it, but part of ending the stigma around sexual assault means not assuming every woman blames herself. yes, female socialization encourages it, but that doesn’t make it a given, and the goal of all of these campaigns is to eventually diminish the proportion of women who do blame themselves. it is entirely possible, and increasingly common, for women to experience sexual assault and not feel shame or guilt, which we should be happy about. but instead, there are only so many times you can hear “you know it’s not your fault, right?” before it sounds like “it was your fault”. and there’s only so many times you can hear “don’t blame yourself” before it sounds like “you should blame yourself”. because it feels good to say, doesn’t it? sure, you don’t believe she’s guilty, but you do believe she should feel guilty, so that you can disabuse her of the notion. just something to consider.

#i think we are very pleased with the idea of female shame #even among people who genuinely do not believe women are at fault for being assaulted #you are still meant to pay the penance of suffering and self destruction #god fucking knows why #“i got mugged” “aww don’t blame yourself for walking around with those fancy shoes and visible wallet okay? it’s not your fault” #you’d be like girl what. i didn’t fucking say it was my fault but your mind sure jumped there fast 🤨 #“my mom died” “wow. do you feel terrible crippling shame for everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life? #up to and including causing your mom’s death? because that would be totally wrong if you did” #like how could that possibly be an appropriate response #genuinely i think the feeling that i was going completely insane post-being raped because no one would believe i didn’t blame myself #was like. solidly half as traumatic as the actual event #like. it is okay not to feel guilty and shameful. it’s great actually. you’re not having the wrong response.

[foreverdolly]

this is a self pitying post and i’ll probably delete it later- but when i’m sad i tend to write it out. i’ve used this blog like a diary of sorts for the last two and a half years. i’ve developed a relationship with a lot of you on here and i appreciate all the love i’ve received so far on my last post. my friends that i have in real life, no matter how long i’ve known them, don’t know too much about my upbringing or my parents. i hate the idea of trauma dumping- it’s uncomfortable for other people: so don’t read this if you don’t want to. i wouldn’t blame you.

my dad died from cirrhosis due to alcoholism. he died miserable and alone. he had no friends. his family was sick of him. i tried to call him as often as i could but sometimes he could be mean if he was drunk. i knew not to call him after 11:00 in the afternoon because he would start to drink. he lived in his youngest brother’s basement and almost never came upstairs because he was embarrassed. i haven’t seen him in three years because he lives fourteen hours from me, but i tried my hardest to call him every week and keep him involved in my life. he never saw any of my homes, never met any of my friends, and never even saw me drive a car (i’ve been licensed since i was eighteen). i cried to him almost every week, begging him to get sober.

he never recovered from my parent’s divorce, and for that i feel so sorry. he called my mother his soulmate and always spoke in past tense- talking about when me and my brother were little. he would tear up when talking about the first time he ever saw me in the hospital after my mother gave birth, and he was vocal about the fact that i was his favorite. we shared a lot of the the same interests and always had fun when talking.

when my mom made a suicide attempt two years ago he was there for me almost everyday, calling me despite the demons he was battling with himself.

the last time i spoke to him was thursday- a week from the day he died. he told me that he almost called a treatment facility but he got tired and took a nap instead. his doctors appointment was today at one and he was going to ask to be admitted and then go to a rehab facility. i told him i’d send him money while he was in there- he hasn’t been able to hold a job since i was still in high school.

my dad was a chef. a damn good cook- classically trained in french cooking. he had the loudest laugh i’ve ever heard, so much so that it used to make me cry when i was a baby. we used to wear matching costumes and he’d sign me out from school on halloween and call me out the day after. he took me to my first concert, but he couldn’t afford both the gas and the tickets (so i paid for the gas with my pocket change at the age of thirteen). he wore adidas strictly- shell toe was his favorite.

when i was little my dad was on night duty while my mom was away: tucking us in, reading us books. he refused to read to me and walked out the door but not before saying “bed bugs and stuff”. i thought it was so funny. it became our saying. every night we spent with each other we said “bed bugs and stuff”. so that was my last send off to him. i hope he’s finally resting well and isn’t depressed, ashamed or lonely anymore where he is.

he died in his sleep. they found a solo cup filled with vodka next to his bed and i can’t stop thinking about the fact that he was going to get help today. he was yellow due to jaundice. what a cruel world.

#i genuinely don’t know what to do

[lipt-97]

came back just to post these. okay bye

#gbf #belifaa #did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for #e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my #feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon. #Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE #WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl #dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his #robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT #LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO #SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL #LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL #BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure #out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but #I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023

[turtleblogatlast]

Headcanon that the boys were first introduced to Lou Jitsu through Splinter scrounging up an old movie to watch through a grainy projector. Splinter wanted to hype himself up at the time, to see a version of himself - however fictional - succeeding and being happy.

He watches, and smiles, mouthing along to the dialogue and outright whisper-shouting “HOT SOUUUP!” whenever it comes up.

Nestled in his lap are his four new sons, still learning the world around them and heavily reliant on their new father. They watch with wide eyes how lively their guardian looks, how happy he sounds, and they turn to watch the movie closely. Because, for as young as they were, they could recognize the source of their father’s joy.

So naturally, they come to associate Lou Jitsu with their father’s smile, and in turn, they feel happy themselves. To them, Lou Jitsu will always be a source of joy, and always make them smile, even if they forget why as they grow.

They’re not just movies for the four of them - they’re the distant memories of a warm lap and a smiling face.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise splinter #rottmnt splinter #I’m in a turtle tot mood #the babiessss #I know a lot of people like to criticize Splinter’s parenting and like yeah he’s not the BEST #but despite his mistakes I genuinely think he did better than what could or should have been expected of him #like anyone else would not have been able to do it #he can be a little negligent and hurtful at times but I don’t think he was as absent a parent as a lot of you say he is #his flaws are there true but again - he loves his boys so much #that being said it’s no excuse for his mistakes and he should be rightfully called out for them #but sometimes I feel like people really overblow his flaws

[sabertoothwalrus]

do you know PricklyAlpaca on youtube / instagram? they just posted a video where they designed a bunch of cursed circus performers which i thought you might like :) https://youtu.be/WIlfk10YHlE?si=m62T8GCM67gJCMwQ

you didn’t know this so I can’t fault you for it but I feel bad because people send me clown stuff all the time and it’s SO SWEET that people, especially strangers, see things and think of me, but I actually kind of hate edgy clowns 🙈 I’m actually kinda picky about what “clowncore” stuff I like and it’s so frustrating that everything from horror clowns to birthday clowns falls under it even though they’re totally different. If there’s blood or knives or smeared makeup I want that as far away from my clowns as possible. it’s not even that I don’t like horror!! I just don’t want clowns in my horror. clowns should be silly and cheer people up :o)

but it’s not just edgy clowns I’m also not really into like, heavily ornamented lacy beaded embroidered “clowns”. They’re pretty, but they’re barely clowns to me. I tend to like ones that look more like clown plushies made for babies. or troll dolls. or muppets.

like look at these lil guys

#clowns #dolls #AUGHHH sorry answering this way feels rude but I never know what to say when I get these kinds of messages 😭 #the thing is even clowns like this will have stupid edgelord quotes like ‘all my friends are dead’ like shut UP. get your irony out of here #can we be genuine. for once. do people only like jesters or harlequins or pierrot because they Don’t Actully Like clowns that much #do you have to make it creepy to make it palettable? i don’t get it. why can’t we like them as they are #you is directed at people in general not question asker

[mumblesplash]

my favorite thing about comics specifically is how much it checks your ego if you think you know how to draw characters. like i’m pretty sure people who don’t do comics assume the hard part would be how *many* drawings are involved in making a comic, and sure that’s part of it, but i think the real challenge is having to accept you’re not as good at drawing characters as you think you are. being able to depict a convincing character, a dynamic pose, or even an expressive face out of context as opposed to within a narrative is such a different skill set in ways i don’t think a lot of people realize

#mumbling #i can only assume animating dials this up even further #i think a good example of what i’m talking about here would be like. how many angles can you draw a face at #bc if you primarily do single page illustrations you genuinely don’t *need* to know how to do that many #like there are not many compositions where being able to draw a worm’s eye view of a human face is necessary #hell you could probably get away with nothing but 3/4ths view and front view if your focus isn’t on pose work #but with comics there’s a lot more elements to account for and weird angles are going to come up more often #and then in animation like. ideally you’re able to do a full character turnaround before you even attempt it

[messiahzzz]

When I came across that "joke" from Tav to Quill and Z'rell's comment (plus Halsin), I had to take a minute to process what happened. Gale might be a bit silly and eccentric but he's the kindest, sweetest and most passionate character in that party. No wonder the poor man has deep insecurities to solve, so many people reduce him to an easy target! Ofc one of the side effects would be overconfidence and ambition as a defense mechanism. He's obv lonely; only Tara and Morena ever loved him for him.

his eccentric nature might be a part of it. he is loquacious, outgoing, and doesn’t see the point in hiding his enthusiasm. he is considered to be the weird one. naturally, wizards in general being seen as somewhat squishy and physically weak might also add to it.

personally, i really don’t like the implications of the (widely considered) autistic-coded character being the one who faces the most ridicule by far by other characters and fans (and larian) alike.

some might disagree with me on that, but i don’t find it funny by any means either. mostly it just makes me feel bad. “he deserves it. cocky, arrogant, hubris-ridden wizard needs to be taken down a peg” like he isn’t… y’know… already at his lowest. it also disregards the fact that much of his bravado is part of his carefully curated Great Wizard of Waterdeep™ persona that he has skillfully adopted to mask his general feeling of being defective. being fiercely proud of your skill and knowledge and being doubtful of having something truly worthwhile to offer are mindsets that can coexist. according to fandom, gale is either secret hubris incarnate that is only waiting to be unleashed upon the world or pure baby that can do no wrong. instead of a character that is just as flawed and traumatized as all the others, but no less deserving of genuine love.

to me, the constant ridicule just reads as further feeding into his deep-rooted insecurities and his belief that he (as gale, the person) isn’t someone who holds inherent worth. it really, really doesn’t sit well with me.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #but then again i believe that fandom still has a hard time grasping his character as a whole #we always talk about wanting complex and complicated characters that contain multitudes #but once we get them we don’t know what to do with them #and proceed to try our hardest to reduce them to a few select traits #gale is a kind and good-hearted person. that is not up for debate. #anyway gale deserves people around him who respect and cherish him and are genuinely supportive #protect that wizard and shower him in all the adoration. he needs it. #and i get you anon!!! i also really wish we could call out our companions & npcs #my tav would always keep a spray bottle on hand just in case #someone is being mean to gale again? [pssssht pssshhht] u stop that right this instant #on that note i also don’t like the undertone tav has when they have the option to talk about gale to other parties #what’s with the hesitancy and the derisive undercurrent??? #am i supposed to pretend that my tav wouldn’t turn into the personification of the will smith meme whenever they had the option to #talk about their bf/husband???? lies and slander #larian critical #it speaks

[xeymol]

My contribution to the rainworld fandom today is hatsune rivku, I’d like to apologize

#rain world #rw rivulet #i don’t know what else to tag this as💀 #genuinely questioning what I’m doing with my life

[sea-jello]

M UH MORRO ENJOYERS DOYOU REMEMBER ME

more versions with the slightest difference plus no bg and shading

listen they have a difference. to me

#COMPLETE artstyle change but also not #i did this with zero reference so my bad if it’s a little disproportionate #this was just mainly a warmup to coming back #idk what the green stuff is my thought process was wind and it just evolved into that i guess #i never figured out how to do lighting and shading so here you go #i was working on this before my post yesterday #i genuinely don’t know what to draw i might do some dtiys or something #I FORGOT NINJAGO TUMBLR DOES DTIYS I CAN TOTALLY MAKE ONE MYSELF #would anyone be interested #i kinda wanna redo alos dtiys just so i can have a first and latest comparison #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago morro #morro ninjago #morro wu #jellos scribbles #yupp

[shima-draws]

My dad is so fucking awkward when it comes to giving emotional support it’s so funny,,

My mom must have told him I’m having a rough day bc he texted me like 10 minutes after like. Hey are you okay. Come home this weekend if you want to play dominos or something. Like a game of dominos is the magic cure to my spiraling mental health. LMAOOOO

#It’s sweet tho like I do appreciate it genuinely #He is right tho a game of dominos may just fix me. If I WIN that is #(Dominos is very fun and I only ever really get to play it with them lol) #Might just go to my parents for that. AND to see my doggies #Shima speaks #Anyway I love my mom so much and it’s frustrating bc she knows me SO well #She doesn’t try to coddle me. She knows exactly what’s going on and she told me right to my face and I was like #😬😬😬 Okay yeah you don’t gotta call me out like that tho…MAN. #SHE’S RIGHT AND I’M SO MAD. WHY does she have to be right. #SIGHS it’s Friday it’s Friday I can do this. I can make it through

[communistkenobi]

now that I haven’t lived with my parents for almost two years I’m starting to come to terms with myself as a full human being. and like idk I can’t really complain about my parents too much in terms of their overall parenting of me, I feel like I’m lucky in a lot of respects just based on the horrific shit some of my friends/family have gone through, but I feel like one consequence of how much my parents fucking hated each other for my entire life is that I feel like I have no reference point for showing affection or being emotionally considerate/vulnerable, those things tend to make me deeply uncomfortable and disempower me to do nice things for the people I love. I feel like I have to really concentrate and spend time on emotional reciprocity and spontaneous gifts/gestures of love. genuinely just kind of sucks how much my parents despise one another and how their constant fighting and days-long silent treatments over the course of 25 years has made me feel inadequate to the task of showing the people I care about how much I love them

#also protestantism will do this to you which is definitely some of it #my therapy insurance renewed for this year maybe I should do a couple sessions about this lol #I feel like I’m making progress on it but it genuinely feels really difficult. It’s like I don’t know what to do with myself #also the middle class thing of just buying shit to express affection #it’s so hollow and meaningless & it’s given me a really cynical and utilitarian perspective on giving gifts #which sucks! I don’t like having that view of gifts. possibly one of the oldest human social practices in all of history #aside from maybe art

[mintharasthrone]

more “gay” pages posting complete homophobic garbage claiming bisexual women are lesbians

#tra homophobia #drop the t & b #of course there’s a comment calling us actual lesbians trans/biphobic 🙄 #all lesbians are terfs bc homosexuality is only real if a woman is a feminist or political like what kind of homophobic logic #they think they’re so different than het men who argue all lesbians aren’t real and want a male and piv #the obsession with also equating toys to wanting a man is never ending #and i remember the poll here that showed most lesbians of course want to eat pussy most of all #and bi women wanted to use toys #like lesbians don’t want anything that looks like a dick when they have sex only bi women do and i know from experience #why the fuck would we #i wish people would stop fucking obsessing over and disecting how lesbians have sex and why #they always have to make it about males and dick #it’s socially acceptable to make creepy perverted comments always talking about or mocking lesbian sex #bi women are like why do lesbians hate us? you literally are with whole ass men calling yourselves lesbians and dykes and bonding over how #much you hate real lesbians and insinuating we aren’t real and can be fixed with conversion #therapy #people hate us so deeply for loving only women and only the female anatomy #they genuinely believe we can’t be happy being homosexuals and bring up toys as some kind of proof #the same people who can’t make women come unlike us

[worstloki]

My issue with Thor not ‘realizing’ why Loki was acting off in Avengers 1 isn’t that Thor didn’t recognise Loki was acting unlike himself—Thor did note that—or that Thor didn’t figure out what was wrong—he did try asking—it’s more along the lines of Thor giving up, and that he accepted Loki was bad now within two days while knowing something was off when Thor himself behaved just as bad for much longer before without any specific compromising event.

#Thor was happy go kill for so long and Loki waited for Thor to get better and then Thor KNOWS something is up #and he still accepts Loki is evil now and never questions or visits Loki in prison again #he moped around about it because of duty and depression but that he had such little faith in Loki #like either his little brother really did go mad out of jealousy and rage AND is permanently like that with no resolution between them #it’s ridiculous #I like the Thor in my head who never believed Loki had actually gone mad and went after the infinity stones bc he suspected #the one that would not only trust Loki to get them off Asgard in TDW but knew Loki had the throne after and let it be that way #bc he knows his brother and wouldn’t stop believing Loki can ‘get better’ even if he’d truly gone mad #like I get that Thor in Avengers 1 would have been conflicted and could’ve taken everything at face value #Loki was DEAD and now he’s not of course Thor isn’t going to be thinking straight #it’s easy to look at Loki and assume he spent a year plotting revenge after faking his death #but Thor had time after to cool down and only gave Loki a chance in TDW when there was no other option #like did he genuinely think Loki will try to kill him #is Thor scared of Loki now or what #Thor’s spending so much time thinking of what he’s lost that he develops depression but doesn’t ever voice or support the idea that maybe #Loki was forced to do the invasion #AFTER he asks ‘who controls the would-be king’ like come on Thor just ask a follow-up question #Thor autistic king distracted by ‘YOUR father’ discourse fr #T-T #I simply don’t think Thor would have given up on Loki even if Loki stabbed him sorry #it wouldn’t even be bc he’s naive it’d be because he knows and loves his brother #and he’d keep hoping for a change of heart #he wouldn’t ditch the issue unless it was to go under the radar and that’s never explicitly implied #unfortunately #:(

[thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid]

What if I told you I’m doing another portrait style?

#tehee #I’m going to do it for at least all three sisters #but I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing for feyre’s #I just don’t want her to be just night splendid #any suggestions thrown my way is appreciated #digital art #art #my art #rowan’s art #elain archeron #elain acotar #elain art #solely elain archeron #curvy elain #wip #the tulips in her hands will multiple #trust