#*there were two brides but i’m referring to the bride whose wedding party i was a member of

[natroze]

Two independent friends of the bride* both told me they found me intimidating??? From my perspective I am terminally awkward, generally neurotic, and suffer chronically from “just a little guy” syndrome, where do we find intimidating in there???

#*there were two brides but i’m referring to the bride whose wedding party i was a member of #hi ariel multiple of your college friends think im intimidating #i still don’t know why #nat chats

[ot3-watch]

Episode 3: The Wedding Job

And so we begin the “The Network Fucked Up” saga with episode 7 which is SUPPOSED to be episode 3. 

Huge men drinking out of tiny teacups is hilarious and will never stop being so. 

Nate, stop being such a control freak. “I thought I pick the clients” DUDE CHILL

“No more, no less” honey you getting much more

“We’ll get back to you” FUCK YOU NATE

PARKER LOVES KIDS EPISODE 1

NATE IF YOU HAD FOUND THIS CASE YOU’D TAKE IT IN AN INSTANT YOU’RE JUST MAD YOU DIDN’T FIND IT

FBI!!! TAGGERT AND MCSWEETEN!! AHH OKAY I LOVE THEM

“They just need validation” BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

TODAY IN THEY MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNNECESSARILY STUPID

Hardison is so gregarious it’s so amazing to watch

“I don’t have to type anything right” oh my god

TAPES! “HARDISON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT OF THE FBI OFFICES WITH A BOX FULL OF TAPES?” “pUNCH someBODY!” “oh I’m gonna PUNCH SOMEBODY” God i love them

Jersey Boys I can’t, it’s terrible guys. Do mobsters have no taste

Oh look, it’s that woman who’s in EVERYTHING

What is Parker wearing on her head

Everyone talks about bridezillas, but no one talks about mother of the bridezillas. 

WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER IN THE FIRST PLACE

SOPHIE FOCUSING ON HER PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH NATE INSTEAD OF THE JOB EPISODE 1

ELIOT THE CHEF EPISODE 1

HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM

ELIOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO HIS COVER STORY AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE JOB EPISODE 1

He’s so mad that she doesn’t like it I lovehim I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE ELIOT SPENCER

“Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house” WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU

How the fuck is the dress so ugly? WHY IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT? WHO WEARS PINK RUCHED SATIN WITH BLUE FLOWERS

I mean, other than, like, me @6 years old. But really, no one should be wearing the clothes I wore at 6 years old. 

Also it’s just.. the worst length. Like if it was a long dress it might be better. 

Nate the pastor episode 1

God that future son in law seems like a dream guy I love him

Maria Moscone deserves better than her scumbag parents let’s be real

SOPHIE TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY AND GETTING THE WAY OF THE JOB

THIS!!! THIS IS WHY THE NETWORK ORDER MAKES NO SENSE!!! THIS HERE’S AN AIMEE REFERENCE BUT IF THEY’D ALREADY DONE THE TWO HORSE JOB, HARDISON WOULD’VE KNOWN ABOUT HER AND NOT ASKED

“What did you do?” “Me? I liberated CROATIA!” *angry apple bite* i CAN’T I LOVE HIM

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW PARKER ISN’T A BRIDESMAID? HOW IS THAT DRESS FOOLING ANYONE

Hardison in love with Parker is so pure

… Okay but shouldn’t maria and blonde n’ bitchy know that Parker isn’t a bridesmaid? Wouldn’t the other bridesmaids know? Why does no one in the wedding party question ANYTHING?

HARDISON’S SCARF THOUGH

WHY IS HER MOTHER WEARING WHITE?? WHO WEARS WHITE TO A WEDDING WTF

MARIA MOSCONE DESERVES BETTER

SOPHIE FUCK OFF!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?? THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT SOPHIE!! SOPHIE STOP IT!! SOPHIE SHUT UP!

M A R I A M O S C O N E D E S E R V E S B E T T E R

The Butcher of Kiev is the best subplot of this episode but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY ALL KNOW HE AND ELIOT HAD A PAST

Sophie is so fucking annoying in this episode I hate her right now

THESE PEACHES AREN’T GONNA POACH THEMSELVES PARKER

OH MY GOD NATE SHUT UP

NATE SHUT UP

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS NATE

SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU NATE

“In my day, no one would do business at their daughter’s wedding” WELL THEN DON’T DO BUSINESS 

Parker’s face smushed against the glass is great

Ahh yes, you don’t get the money so you SHOOT THE BRIDE. Because THAT’s not gonna cause a scene and get you arrested. 

OK be honest is there anyone who was surprised by the wife being responsible? Bc I’m not

Eliot’s face is like “TFW the guy whose face you burned shows up at a wedding you’re supposed to be pretending to but actually are catering with a cleaver and backup and the overwhelming urge to kill you”

I know that’s super specific but that’s what it is

Parker’s really good at playing drunk

But also, why did they not question what she was doing behind the curtain

Like she just happened to appear after they were finished talking about VERY ILLEGAL THINGS and they aren’t at all suspicious?

Also, Parker using Hardison as a cover is just… I love it. 

You’re laughing. Eliot brought a whisk to a knife fight and you’re laughing. 

The saddest part is Eliot has any sort of cooking implement. You should be terrified right now

Okay so let me get this straight. A guy is StrANGLING you, you get your hands on a rolling pin, and your instinct isn’t, “hey, I can use this rolling pin to clobber him over the head,” the instinct is “Let me use this rolling pin to get my hands on the appetizers?” Like, yes, lemon juice, but also ROLLING PINS ARE HEAVY AND YOU COULD AT LEAST KNOCK THE GUY OUT

But no, let me shove fucking MUSHROOMS in his eyes because otherwise how else would we get the symmetry of the butcher yelling “IT BUUUURRRNNNNSS” both times he fights Eliot

And then he uses the fucking serving tray to bonk him on the head INSTEAD OF THE DUCKING ROLLING PIN

LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU EVER USED A ROLLING PIN AS A WEAPON

I’M NOT SAYING I HAVE BUT OUCH

Like, just… If I had a choice between being hit over the head with a thin sheet of metal or a log of wood with metal inside it, I’d pick the sheet, because at least that one has some give. 

“It’s the lemon juice” How does Eliot make that sound badass

“You just kill a guy with an appetizer?” How the FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT??

WHY DOES NO ONE ASSUME A ROLLING PIN WOULD BE AN OKAY WEAPON

Or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN THAT KITCHEN. THERE ARE CAST IRON PANS IN THAT KITCHEN. Or just liek… regular pans. HAVE YOU EVER DROPPED A NONSTICK PAN ON YOUR FOOT? IT FUCKING HURTS?? WHY IS THE APPETIZER YOUR FIRST INSTINCT NATE

Also, he’s clearly not dead. What the fuck

“I don’t know, maybe” I KNOW AND tHE ANSWER IS NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN”T

...who honeymoons in Kansas? Is that a thing? 

They are a very cute couple i’ve gotta be honest

“Exactly what denomination are you reverend?” He isn’t

“You’re not Mary Poppins, youre a bitch” Okay pot. Okay. 

LITERALLY THAT FUCKING HANDBAG WOULD AHVE MADE A BETTER WEAPON THAN THE MUSHROOMS

How does Hardison remember all those numbers? He didn’t even hear a bunch of them, but he takes the book out so slowly? DOES HARDISON HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY? WHY IS THAT NOT A PLOT POINT MORE OFTEN

Like I’m just saying, someone tries to tell me their phone number more than 3-4 numbers at a time and I get confused. But hardison just… remembers

What happened to the cash? The daughter gets the fucking wedding present she DESERVES for putting up with her awful parents that’s what

Hardison appreciating Eliot’s cooking is EVERYTHING

“I left him five dollars for socks” Well everyone needs socks. 

Okay wait I just had a thought

If Nate isn’t an actual Reverend, is that marriage even legal? Does Nate just happen to also be a legally ordained minister? Did they have to get him an online ordainment? WhY did we not see that scene? WHAT IF HE’S NOT AND THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY MARRIED

And today on “I clearly think far too much about these things”

PARKER WIth KIDS IS EVERYTHING

Eliot cooking for his family I love it

ELIOT IN A TANK TOP I LOVE IT

Was Eliot’s arms the most important part of this scene? Probably not

Is it the only thing I care about? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

I”M A SIMPLE GIRL AND HE HAS VERY NICE ARMS OKAY

Final thoughts: 9/10. I love this episode so much guys. Points off because really who the fuck wears white to a wedding. I know that’s the point but its very off putting. Also for the bridesmaid dresses because they were ugly as sin. Actual point off for the wife secretly being awful. Very predictable, ew. Extra points for Chef!Eliot. Extra points for Eliot’s arms. Points off for Nate and Sophie being completely insufferable. Extra points for Parker being great in this episode. Points off for the FUCKING ROLLING PIN YES I’M STILL ANGRY DONT @ ME. Extra points for Eliot killing a man with an appetizer because it’s still funny. Extra points for no IYS or Sam references THANK THE FUCKING LORD. Or, at least, if there was, i didn’t notice, meaning it wasn’t egregious so whatever. So yeah, anyway I really fucking love this episode. 

IYS Count: 2/3

Sam Count: 2/3  AND WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF FOR IT

#leverage #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker #sophie devereaux #nathan ford #ot3 #leverage ot3 #the wedding job

[jovialyouthmusic]

Double Trouble

Bastien’s foster parents come to meet the twins, and he receives a gift that brings back painful memories...

Word count 2774

A/N You may need a tissue at hand for this one, Bastien is reduced to tears himself. There are a few Greek words here, but I’ve tried to make them obvious or translated immediately afterwards. My favourite was the word for grandmother, which is pronounced ‘ya ya’. You may notice I’ve chickened out from writing a chapter devoted to their wedding - at least for now...

5 Parents, old and new...

‘They’re here – the guards at the gate just rang through’ Bastien announced. Sophia cast an eye around the apartment to check all was spick and span.

‘Does it look right?’ she queried. ‘If it’s too tidy it will look like we’re not taking enough time with the twins, but if it’s untidy it looks like we can’t cope.’ Bastien walked over to her and kissed her forehead.

‘Don’t worry, theà mou’ he soothed ‘Althea will understand. She’s fostered plenty of babies as well as older children. She knows a little disorder isn’t a bad sign’

‘Did you ever get drafted in to looking after any younger ones?’ she asked.

‘One or two, but she never left me alone with them. Being totally responsible for small babies is a task for an adult.’ He went to the door just as a wail started up on the baby monitor. Sophia grimaced.

‘They certainly have a good sense of timing’ she said ‘I’ll go and see who it is and what they need.’

‘I’ll go down and greet our visitors. Don’t be worried about feeding them, they wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but if you want to stay private, stay in the nursery and I’ll check with you.’ He kissed her again and went to greet his foster parents, there to see the twins for the first time.

They lived only a few hours drive away in Greece but said they’d wait until the couple had settled into parenthood. Sophia’s parents had booked their flight from the Channel Islands and would be there the next month. If it hadn’t been for various video calls, her mother might well have demanded that she and Bob move lock stock and barrel to Cordonia, but Sophia had told them they weren’t sure they would be staying in the tiny European country for good. She had received a job offer from Edinburgh and had deferred it until the twins were older, and there was a lot of support at the Palace. They didn’t have to worry about cooking, laundry or cleaning, and Hana had volunteered to help too. She had experience with Savannah’s children, and would most likely go on to help the Queen when she gave birth to the heir.

She went into the nursery to discover that Theo needed a nappy change, and she was in time to get that done before his wailing woke his sister, who was a determined and deep sleeper. Changing him was an easy task compared to his sisters indignation at being messed around.

As she worked, she remembered that the last time she’d seen her own parents was at their wedding. It was a small affair, and her mind went further back to when they’d discussed getting married, some time after Bastien had proposed. They were taking a break at the villa in Greece that Costa and Althea owned, this time entirely on their own. They lay out in the sun after a swim in the clear blue sea.

‘Mum asked me when we’re getting married.’ Sophia said, reaching for a cool drink.

‘Then we should probably set a date’ Bastien replied. ‘That is, if you think we should do it’

‘It’s odd’ she said ‘I like the idea, but we’ve made our commitment to each other already. I don’t need a ceremony to know we intend to be together for the rest of our lives’

‘But perhaps other people have to acknowledge it’ Bastien pointed out ‘Plus it’s better legally, if anything should happen to one of us’

‘I could never understand my friends who started planning their weddings when they were teens’ she had said. ‘My best friend had a scrapbook and she’d collect pictures of dresses, think about venues and colour schemes and so on. I don’t think she cared who she married, and she expected it to happen before she was twenty’

‘How did that turn out?’

‘She did actually find a really nice guy to marry, but she was the original Bridezilla. He got fed up with her tantrums and stood her up at the altar – or in her case, at the beach. In Jamaica. He’d never even got on the plane to go there. Her family and friends had a wonderful holiday, but she spent the whole time crying and cursing him until one of the waiters caught her eye’ Bastien sucked his breath in between his teeth.

‘Did that put you off, theà mou?’

‘Just a little. But my wedding day wasn’t the apex of my expectations. I wanted to find someone to share my life with – and I have’

‘So what do you think we should do? What do you want?’

‘I don’t want a big wedding. A registry office would do – and a minimum of guests. In fact, just you, me and a witness would be enough. But my mother would never forgive me’

‘May I make a suggestion, then?’

‘’Of course, Bas. Fire away’

‘Why don’t we get married in Guernsey? That would please Edith, and it would keep the guest list down. We could always have a reception back here after a short honeymoon’

‘That might work. Wouldn’t Costa and Althea want to come to the wedding though?’

‘Hmmm. They’d understand if I told them we’d want to keep it small’

‘We, Bas? Are you happy with that?’

‘I think the same as you. It’s a formality – a legal piece of paper. It doesn’t compare to what we already have together. I’m happy to do whatever you want’

‘Well aren’t we a pair’ she had laughed ‘The reluctant bride and groom’

‘But enthusiastic lovers’ he joked, and swooped down on her, kissing her and picking her up to carry her inside.

So it was that they travelled to the tiny island where they had a small ceremony at the registry office with a reception at a four star hotel, arranged by her father. Some of his work colleagues attended as many of them had been impromptu Uncles when she was growing up, and a few of her school friends went too. Drake went as Bastien’s best man and representative of the Crown, being the third party in King Brad’s Cordonian marriage. It had been decided that he and Lucy would not attend, to keep the wedding low key. They had a short honeymoon on one of the smaller islands, and on their return King Brad had insisted on a lavish reception party in the Palace Ballroom. He had flown the happy couple back for the occasion in the Royal jet along with Bob and Edith.

After that, they had briefly discussed having children and decided to try as soon as they could, due to their age. Bastien had visited a sperm bank when he had a vasectomy on joining the Guard, and they were advised to try using that whilst waiting for his medical procedure to heal and his count to go up. Despite being told it would most likely take a few tries, the very first treatment worked, and Sophia had to defer taking up a job offer at Edinburgh University.

As she buttoned up Theo’s romper suit she heard the apartment door close and there was the babble of conversation in the main room.

‘You don’t look hungry, little man’ she cooed to the baby ‘Come and meet your pappous and giagià’ She picked him up, peeking into Beatrice’s cot, but she slept soundly. She resolved to come back for her, to keep the twins in synch with their naps. She had barely entered the lounge before Althea had plucked Theo from her arms with cries of delight.

‘Oh, mikros’ little one she gushed ‘I giagiá sou eínai edó’ your grandmother is here ‘Aren’t you such a delicious creature, I could eat you all up’ She turned to her husband ‘See how he looks like his father’ Costa nodded gravely, pursing his lips.

‘He does’ he said shortly, leaning over to appraise the baby. He looked up at Sophia.

‘And here is his mitera’ he smiled, and walked over to kiss her cheek. Althea only had eyes for Theo, rocking him and speaking in rapid Greek. Theo was mesmerised and gazed at her, entranced. ‘You look well, Sophia’ he said ‘I hope our Antras is looking after you and his mikra’

‘He’s very attentive. It’s good to see you, Costa. I hope the journey was okay’

‘It was very quiet – when Althea fell asleep’ he said, dropping his voice to a stage whisper.

‘You think I don’t hear you, old man?’ Althea cried ‘You’re lucky I’m holding our foster grandson. And where is his sister?’

‘I’ll get her’ Sophia said.

‘Let me come with you.’ Costa offered, and she led the way.

‘I’m sorry you can’t stay with us’ Sophia said as they went. ‘As you see, our spare room is occupied.’

‘Don’t worry my dear’ Costa boomed in his deep voice. ‘I know better than anyone how tiring Althea is to have around. We won’t stay long, we have friends to visit in the Capitol.’ As they entered the nursery Beatrice was stirring. Costa made a cooing noise as soon as he saw her.

‘Oh mikros – little princess.’ he clucked ‘Here, come to Pappous.’ and leaned over the cot, tenderly picking her up. Sophia held her breath, not knowing how she would react. She made little squeaking noises as she woke, her eyes opening to an unfamiliar face. She squinted and opened her mouth to protest but the sound of his voice lulled her as he crooned to her. He turned to Sophia.

‘They are both so dark.’ he said, referring to the shock of black hair that both children sported. ‘Your lovely blonde hair has not come through.’

‘It’s only natural.’ she smiled ‘We knew they would probably take after Bastien.’ They returned to the lounge, where Althea declared she would have to split in two in order to make the most of the babies. Costa stood facing her, and they rocked and sang to them together, doing a little dance. Bastien looked over at Sophia, whose face had lit up with joy to see the charming interaction. Theo gazed at his entertainers with fascination while Beatrice made odd little expressions and noises, waving her little starfish fingers randomly.

‘This one is musical, see?’ Althea said ‘She has a sense of rhythm. She will be a great singer or a concert pianist, just you see.’ Costa laughed.

‘Theodore is quiet and stoic like his father. Perhaps he too will be Captain of the Guard’

‘It’s a dangerous job, Pateràs. I wouldn’t wish it on him.’ Bastien commented. At that moment Beatrice decided she’d had enough of being joggled about and started to grizzle.

‘Your little princess needs her materà.’ Costa said, handing her over carefully. She made a face as if she was searching for a nipple.

‘Do you mind…?’ Sophia asked.

‘Go right ahead, I may never have fed one myself, but I would have if I could.’ Althea replied, so Sophia settled down to nurse. Theo remained in Althea’s arms, sucking his fingers and gazing back at her. ‘You need your strength, Sophia, so I brought some food for you.’ Althea sat close to her. ‘I know the palace kitchens cook for you, but I don’t think they make proper Greek food. It’s like medicine – my pastitsio will cure anything, and my moussaka would satisfy a giant.’ She nodded toward Bastien’s broad frame ‘Even our àntras there. How do you think he grew to be such a mountain of a man?’ Bastien rolled his eyes.

‘I think we might have to get a freezer of our own to store all the food Althea brought for us.’ he said drily. She turned toward him.

‘Look in the cooler bag – there’s Greek salad and dolmades and olives, and bread I baked this morning.’ Bastien shook his head, smiling.

‘You shouldn’t have, Althea’ he laughed ‘But it’s very welcome’

Before too long the dining table was set with a Greek feast, and Costa sat with Beatrice resting on his chest, making little circles on her back to bring up any wind, and Bastien had given him a napkin in case of accidents. Sophia sat nursing Theo, and Althea hovered over her with a plate full of finger food.

‘Eat, eat’ Althea urged her ‘The babies will grow fast. Start getting bigger clothes for them, you will see’ Soon it was Bastien holding Beatrice to wind her while Sophia sat at the table to eat, and Althea fussed with plates and food as if she was the host, not her foster son and partner.

At last they had done justice to the food, and Costa was the one to wash the plates while Althea played with Theo.

‘Oh, I almost forgot.’ she said suddenly, addressing Bastien. ‘I brought you something.’

‘Althea…’ he protested, but she had already handed the baby to Sophia and was rummaging in a bag. She brought out a small package and handed it over. Bastien took it curiously, and carefully unwrapped it. It was a small piece of fabric – a flowered pattern with a satin edge. He stared at it for a moment, and Sophia was shocked to see his eyes watering, hand resting on his cheek in shock.

‘Materà.’ he said, choking with emotion, struggling to keep his composure ‘I didn’t know you still had this.’ Althea went to him and put her hand on his arm. He grabbed it and kissed her fingers, tears running down his cheeks.

‘We found it when we cleared out some old boxes. I knew you’d want it.’ Her usual brusque tone was soft and tender.

‘I thought – I thought it was lost’ Bastien choked. Sophia was baffled, and she suddenly found Costa at her elbow, patting her arm. She put her hand on his, looking up in query. He spoke quietly as Bastien covered his face, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

‘It’s from a dress that his mother wore.’ he said in a low tone. ‘He kept it under his pillow until it got lost – we’re not sure exactly when. It’s the only thing that belonged to her that he had.’ Sophia already knew that Bastien had been fostered when his mother had become a drug addict and died tragically when he was a teenager.

Bastien got to his feet and shakily left the room. Costa went on to tell her that Althea had made the keepsake for him and quietly left it in his room when he was a surly and unruly teenager. They had noticed an improvement in his behaviour soon after, even though he had never acknowledged her kind action.

‘Go, he needs you.’ Althea said softly ‘The twins will be fine with us.’ Sophia handed Beatrice to her and got to her feet to follow him to the bedroom, where he sat holding the piece of fabric, tears still silently flowing down his cheeks. She sat next to him and handed him a tissue. He slowly calmed and mopped his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

‘I hated her when I was younger.’ he said hoarsely ‘But later on I realised it was a sickness that changed her, bad people who made her make the wrong choices. She never meant to hurt me.’ He turned the fabric over in his hands. ‘I wish every day she’d been stronger, been around to meet you. Now I feel as if she’s here.’ She took his hand and squeezed it.

‘She’d have been proud of you, I’m sure. I’m only just starting to understand what it’s like being a mother. I know if anyone tried to hurt our babies, I’d go out of my mind.’ He nodded.

‘Not everyone can cope with being a parent, even with the best intentions.’

‘You never had any doubt about whether you’d be a good father?’ she asked gently.

‘Of course I did, but I had Costa and Jackson to emulate’ He blew his nose. ‘And you had good examples, so I never had any doubt about you.’  

‘Althea should have been more sensitive.’ Bastien smiled weakly, his eyes red but dry.

‘It’s okay Sophia, it needed to be done. They’re here to look after the twins while I process it’ He took her hand and squeezed it ‘and while you support me. It was a good time to do it’ He got up and held out his hand. ‘Speaking of which, we should get back before they need a nappy change’

‘Something tells me that wouldn’t phase either of them’ she smiled, and rose to embrace him and kiss his cheek.

@sirbeepsalot @katedrakeohd @fluffyfirewhiskey @kingliam2019 @rainbowsinthestorm @camillemontespan @texaskitten30 @bascmve01 @nomadics-stuff​

​

#trr bastien #bastien lykel #Bastien x OC #sophia x bastien #bastien x sophia #double trouble

[twrites1]

“Another Woman’s Treasure”

Sam threw the glass of whiskey back, hissing at the stinging sensation as he sat it back on the tray, asking for another refill. Tonight, he wasn’t in the mood for this engagement party. He looked over to his future wife, a spoiled brat indeed. She started off as a good friend of the family, someone who he didn’t see more than that but fell victim of their mothers interference and nagging. He wasn’t going to engage into the foolery, but he prematurely proposed to her under the influence of alcohol and pure horniness. He wasn’t going to lie, he tried to get out of it but only gave up the fight due to belief that it wouldn’t be that bad. She wasn’t a bad girl, but there just wasn’t no romantic feelings nor love there. It was more of a long distance friendship type of love but even that was a reach.

“Here you go, Mr. Evans.”

Sam came out of his thoughts when the woman appeared with him a new drink, downing that immediately and sat it on the tray before picking up the second glass as well. He looked at her and smiled, “Keep them coming, sweetheart.”

“Will do.”

He turned his attention back to the guest, who were mingling, when he caught his mother’s eyes. He forced a smile once she sent one to him, she was his mother, so she probably knew that it wasn’t a real one but then again, she had been busying herself with her future daughter in law and the wedding planning. This was going to be a long night. Feeling someone come beside him, he knew who it was without even looking, “I’m surprised you showed up, Sarah.”

“Almost didn’t.” The woman spoke as she moved her straight brunette hair back behind her right ear, “It’s not too late to call this sham off because you and I both know she’s not the one for you and you’re definitely not in love like you’re pretending to be.”

“How you know I‘m not?”

“Please Sam.” His sister said without another fit of explanation, picking up the champagne flute and thanking the man with a smile before she began to scan the room, “How they are isn’t even close to how we are. That bitch and her family are no good.”

“Don’t be like that. She’s a sweet girl.”

“If that lie doesn’t keep you up at night, why should it for me?” Sarah chuckled as she pressed her lips against the glass, shaking her head before walking off, “Mark my words, this thing won’t go beyond this tonight. Just wait, big brother.”

Back in the kitchen, the caterers were busing around getting trays of drinks and hors d’oeuvres out for the crowd in their normal routine, but for some reason tonight, they were a tad bit more busier with the alcoholic drinks going out.

“Who’s in charge?”

The woman, who sitting the glasses on the tray for one of the severs, turned her head towards the entrance door of the kitchen, raising a brow at the woman, “I am.”

The rich woman stared at the girl, giving a cold glare for no apparent reason other than the fact that she could, “Don’t send anymore appetizers out. The main dishes need to be prepped and out in the next thirty minutes. No guest should have anything cold on their plate.”

“Do I hear a please in there? Matter of fact your rudeness needs to be cut from the tone you miserable bit-” A boy mumbled, causing the woman next to him to distinctly step on his foot, prompting him to speak in the full volume of his voice, “Ouch Mercedes.”

Mercedes gave him a look before her eyes turned back to the woman, giving her a respectful nod. Usually she didn’t take anyone talking to her in the way she did but her boss told her that this particular job tonight, she needed to bite her tongue because they were all going to get a healthy bump in their paycheck. She didn’t put money before verbal aggression but in this case, she would because she needed it.

“Miserable Bitch.” He said loudly once the woman was out of sight, “That’s what I was trying to call that hag. I try to respect my elders and never call women out of their name but she’s been pushing it all night. And plus, she’s acting like she’s the one who’s paying us.”

“I know, we only have a few more hours.” Mercedes reassured the youngest of the staff, watching as he huffed out before picking up the tray and heading back out, “Hang in there baby.”

Zachary, Mercedes’ best friend and colleague, met him coming into the kitchen, heading over to her, “All I know is that we better be getting a good bonus because I have bit my tongue so much, I might have to go to the ER.”

Mercedes gave him a sympathetic look before setting the glasses on two more trays, “Yeah, I’m about ready to go at this point, but I need the check bad this month. Things haven’t been good.”

“I know you don’t want to ask your family, but you know you have me and Kels, right? Put the pride aside, we got you.”

“I know.” She told him with a small frown, “I’m grateful but I can’t because you guys have your own family.”

“Shut the hell up with all that.” Zachary said in a way he told her all the time when he saw her stressed and refused help. Him and Mercedes have been friends since they were in pampers, and every since he has known her, she has always had to stubborn, independent stance within herself. He hated it, “We got you. End of discussion. What’s ours is yours, you know that. Now give me the damn tray.”

“Yes sir.” Mercedes mumbled as she handed one off to him then the other server, watching as the walked out.

The next hour had went by without a hitch, thankfully, for the the crew. Mercedes was leaned against the wall, watching as the speeches were made and the interactions between the couple. Usually, after dinner was served, this was her favorite part. Seeing the love between others always brought a smile to her face, but tonight, something felt so inorganic this time around. The groom for one seemed uninterested in everything, and the bride was too busy showing off her ring to everyone more than anything else. Most couples couldn’t be apart from one another on this joyous occasion. It just felt wrong. Hearing the applauses, she saw the groom’s sister come and announce that she had a special video for the couple.

What started off as innocent pictures of them from their childhood, turned into something unimaginable. Mercedes’ mouth went wide as she stared in horror at the video, her eyes traveling to find to Zachary, who was standing next to her in the same position, then the groom, who’s face was unreadable.

You couldn’t hear a pin drop when the video finally shut off. On it was photos of the bride, which looked taken by a PI, making out with some man numerous times that was obviously not her fiancé. What made it even worse was that the same man was here, due to the picture of her dressed in what she was now. Lily, Sam’s fiancée, looked at him in horror, making her way to him, “Babe...it’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh, it is.” Sam glared at her before moving away, a mixture of joy, anguish, and pity in the eyes of the guest, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, “Party’s over. Engagement’s off. Everyone have a great night.”

Mercedes watched as he walked out the room, his ex-fiancé and their parents following closely behind as well. The mumblings about what just happened rose amongst the guest as the started to file out of the venue. She came out of her thoughts when she heard one of her colleagues speak.

“Guess it’s a short night for us. Let’s get to packing up.”

Mercedes started to head to the back, busing herself to get things in order so they could leave expeditiously and that they did within the hour. Her and Zachary were the only ones left, finishing up the last of the kitchen, which wasn’t much.

Zachary looked at his watch and eyes went wide, “Shit, Kelsey’s going to kill me. I was so wrapped in this drama.”

“Go, I can manage the rest.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Zachary kissed her on her forehead before heading out, “I love you.”

“Tell her I said hi.” She called after him, shaking her head when he told her he would and was going to tell about her situation. She shook her head as she moved the dolly towards the counter. Turning back around, she gasped when she ran into someone, eyes going up and seeing it was the man of the night, “I’m sorry, Mr. Evans.”

“Sam, just call me Sam and there’s no need to apologize.” Sam told her, making his way to the other side of the counter, grabbing a paper towel to dry his hands. Truthfully, Sam was hoping that everyone was gone and had accidentally left a bottle of anything brown down there.

Mercedes eyed him carefully before gathering up the cork screws and placing them in the bag.

Sam’s attention was on her. Seeing the uniform, he took obvious note that she was part of the catering crew. He had used them last year but has never seen her before, “I bet this was one of the most entertaining receptions you’ve ever worked.”

“Nothing’s entertaining about what happened.” Mercedes told the man truthfully as she threw the unusable cling wrap in the trash, “You didn’t deserve that.”

Sam watched her movements closely, seeing her at ease as she quickly straighten up the counter. She then moved over to grab the leftover, never opened champagne bottles, stopping her, “Leave one.”

Mercedes glanced at him and nodded, sitting one of the bottles down before she grabbed four, a talent in Sam’s eyes, and placed them in the box.

Sam grabbed two champagne flutes from behind him, sitting them on the counter before swooping the bottle up. He opened the top, somehow avoiding the dramatic spill that comes along with it and poured the liquid into the flutes. He looked at Mercedes once she turned back around, picking up one and gesturing to her, “Have a drink with me.”

“Mr. Eva-urm, Sam.” She corrected as she shook her head, refusing the drink, “I’m still at work.”

“I’ll handle Laura if she so happens to pop up.” He sent her a lopsided grin in reference to her boss, pleading eyes, “Please, for a poor man whose heart just got broken.”

Mercedes pursed her lips and raised a brow, muttering and not realizing that she was that loud when she spoke, “You’re not torn up about it like one would expect.”

Guilty. Sam stared at her seriously, speaking honestly, “Maybe I just want to have a drink with the one genuine, beautiful soul I have met tonight. Who, may I add, have been nothing but nice and professional for the past ten minutes. Hard work pays off and this is your pay off.”

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the guilt trip, mumbling but not admitting how his words made her feel some type of way, “Fine.”

Sam smiled triumphantly as she took the flute, clinking his glass again hers before moving back and taking a sip.

Mercedes did the same, the bubbling alcohol stinging as it went down her throat. To be honest, she wasn’t much of a drinker but she would indulge in the kindness of the client.

“Not a drinker, aye?” Sam took note from the features on her face, laughing a bit when she shook her head and sat the glass down.

“Far form it.” She managed to get out with a snort.

“Maybe I should’ve ask if you’re even old to drink.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Mercedes laughed a bit before resuming back to her work, “I’m old enough to rent a car then add seven more years.”

“Wow.” Was all he said, causing the woman to look at him with a raised brow, he shook his head, “A good wow.”

Mercedes smiled as she leaned against the counter, “Is there anything...” she stopped when she heard her phone ring, grabbing from her pocket to look at the screen, “Excuse me for a second.”

Sam watched as she left out, his eyes wandering over to the platters that was wrapped up. He took a seat and grabbed one, placing it in his lap and picking one. He haven’t even gotten a chance to eat due to all the drama that went on. He powered through three of the delicious croissant sandwiches when Mercedes came, her phone call taking a littler longer than expected, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, my babysitter was just checking in.” She said absently as she looked at him, seeing the surprised look on his face puzzled her, “What?”

“You have a kid?”

“Kids. Six month old twin girls, Bronx and Brooklynn.”

Sam caught her smile get bigger at the mention of her daughters, watching as she showed him her lock screen. Present were two brown skinned, hazel doe-eyed, chubby cheeked little girls giving gummy smiles, “They’re beautiful.” Sam complimented, his eyes going back to her to ask a question, “Is the father in the picture...oh shit, I’m just all in your business, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Mercedes giggled as tucked her phone back into her pocket, going back over to finish stacking the things on the dolly, “Their father was a cheating bastard. Slept with someone, who I thought was my friend, during my whole pregnancy and ended up getting her pregnant. He’s with her now, raising their child and don’t acknowledge my girls.”

“That’s....that’s fucked up.” Sam said bluntly, a frown plastered on his face. He had known this woman all of twenty minutes and was pissed that anyone would treat her and her innocent children like that.

Mercedes shrugged as she moved around, placing a few napkins in front of him so he can use, “It is what it is. I didn’t and will never dwell on it. I’m just trying to make a living for me and my babies. It’s hard, but I’m doing what I need to do.”

“And from what I can tell, you’re doing a hell of a job. Seriously. I commend you for it because having a child, let alone twins, is a lot.“

Mercedes smiled at him, “Thank you.”

Before Sam could respond and ask her some more about herself, he heard the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood, a familiar face appearing as her voice ran out.

“Mercedes, you were suppose to check in thirty minutes ago.” Laura stopped when she noticed that Sam was in the kitchen too, “Oh, Mr. Evans, I didn’t know you were in here. Hopefully Mercedes wasn’t bothering you.”

“She wasn’t.” Sam spoke before Mercedes could, giving the woman a pointed look, “Matter of fact, I was the one bothering her with my venting and held her up.”

“Oh, well that’s quite alright.” She waved off, earning a side eye from Mercedes, “I’m sorry for tonight.”

“Don’t be.” He pulled an envelope from inside of his suit jacket, handing it over to her, “Here’s the rest of your payment, plus some extra for the staff for the snobbish attitudes that they may have encountered from her side.”

“That’s very generous of you, Mr. Evans. Thank you.” Laura smiled at him before her eyes darted to Mercedes then him again, “And I’m sorry once more, but I kind of need my employee back so we can get going.”

“No, it’s okay.” He pushed off the counter, grabbing the platter and champagne to take with him, giving Mercedes a smile, “Thank you for being a listening ear and feeding my stomach.”

“It wasn’t a problem. You try to have a wonderful rest of the night, Mr. Evans.”

“I kind of already did talking to you.” Sam sent her a wink before heading out, leaving the two women alone.

Laura’s eyes back to Mercedes with a raised brow, opening her mouth for a question but Mercedes beat her to it.

“I’m done in here.” She grabbed the dolly and headed out, trying to avoid any questions that the woman may have had for her.

Mercedes mumbled as she headed through the crowded grocery store, cursing at there literally being no baskets left. She didn’t know why she just didn’t do this earlier and was regretting not bringing the stroller with her, prematurely thinking that she would’ve had a basket for the two girls occupying both sides of her hips. She sighed as she looked at them, “Looks like Mommy is going to have to just come back tomorrow.”

“Or not.” A voice came behind her, causing the woman with the children to whip around, familiar green eyes staring back at her with a smile, “You can have mine.”

Mercedes smiled at the man, who she last saw a month ago at his disastrous party, “Sam, hi.”

“Hi.” He had saw her when she first came in. He knew that the baskets were gone because he had grabbed the last one, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too and you don’t have to give me your basket. I’m sure you have things to get too.” She chuckled softly as one of her antsy daughter’s, Bronx, started to wiggle in her arms.

“It’s quite alright, you obviously need it more.” He commented as he looked at the little girls, who were a tad bit older from the picture he saw last month, “So, these are the little cherubs that were on your lock screen?”

“Yes, the one who is trying to escape my arm is Bronx and the always so calm one on my left is Brooklynn.” She watched as Bronx stared at the man curiously, a smile breaking out of her face as she leaned out of her mother’s arm for him, catching the woman by surprise. She never did that for anyone, especially strangers.

“May I?” Sam asked first, watching as the mother nodded before he picked her up, “Hey there cutie pie.”

Mercedes felt sudden relief of the extra weight being lifted but abandonment at the same time. She adjusted Brooklyn on her hip, shaking her head, “She usually doesn’t like people.”

“Guess I’m an exception.” Sam laughed as his eyes went back to hers, “But really, the basket, you can have. I can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Thank you.” She told the man, shaking her head, “I’m sorry, how rude of me, how have you been?”

“Good.” He responded as he walked forward a bit, sitting the little girl in the seat part of the basket, watching as a pout took over her lips but she didn’t cry. He watched as Mercedes placed Brooklyn in there as well, thankful that this was the basket that was capable of sitting them both, “I’m going to be honest here, I’m glad I ran into you because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.”

The keys that occupied her hand slipped but Sam was quicker, catching them before they fell to the ground. Her eyes were shocked at the admission, not knowing what to say, “Huh?”

Sam knew he caught her off guard but it was nothing but the truth. That night, Mercedes had made it worth the pretense of it all and he was really grateful that it turned out the way it did. Her presence drew him to her and he knew exactly why. This woman, only talking to her for the short amount of time he did, was the one. Something he didn’t feel with any of his exes, “I fought for a whole month on whether to call Laura and ask for your number. Funny enough, today was going to be the day I did but look at fate interfering. I want to ask if you would like to go out on a date sometime.”

Mercedes looked at him in surprise at his words, not believing that this was happening, “Me?”

“Yes you.”

Mercedes gave him a skeptical stare, shaking her head, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that this man was asking her out, “You can have any girl you want. You’re in your prime, newly single, handsome, have a great job, and no children. I’m a single mother with twins, who gets paid minimal wage. Why?”

“Why not?” Sam watched as she ducked her head shyly, a smile tugging on his lips when he saw the realization on her face that she didn’t have a comeback, “One thing you should know about me, I’m not like them. You’re beautiful, smart, caring, real, hardworking and a great mother to your daughters. What more can a guy ask for?”

Mercedes lifted her head. No man, besides her father, had spoken so highly of her. And here he was. After that night, he left an impression on her and it was more than the act of him being so nonchalant about being cheated on. He was right, he wasn’t like anybody there, snotty, nor belittled the staff, he treated her and she would guess everyone else as equals. That’s what drew her to him, but she didn’t act on it for the simple fact that he probably wouldn’t see her in a romantic way. Deading that idea that night, she went on about her life, until those thoughts and feelings she had resurfaced in this moment. The sincerity in his voice and eyes was all she needed to know that he was serious and because of that, she was willing to give him a chance, “Okay.”

The smile spread so wide on the man’s lips, repeating her words, “Okay.”

Mercedes couldn’t help the heat of cheeks as she stared underneath his gaze, the only thing breaking their trance was her daughter reaching over and throwing the chips down, “Bronx, no.”

The little girl looked at her and giggled, causing Sam to do so as well as he picked it up and placing it back on the shelf, “How about this count as a predate? While we’re shopping, we’ll get to know each other better. What’d you say?”

The smile couldn’t leave Mercedes’ face if she wanted it to, “I’d like that.”

As she shopped, Sam stayed beside her every step of the way doing exactly what he intended to do. Get to know her and vice versa. This grocery trip was full of information and laughter between the two, and the unnecessary need for ease because it was already there.

#samcedes #samcedes fanfiction #samcedes one shot

[joelmillerthirstqz]

Fill for this ask~

(slight liberty taken with request for reader to get excited about the shop; Ellie's working through sixteen-year-old, new-to-commitment-as-a-concept with Cat, pre-dina tattoo girlfriend, so i went with that)

Joel, y/n, and Ellie are all out on patrol and come across a small town. In the town, there’s an abandoned wedding dress shop. Y/n gets all excited and goes inside to see there are untouched wedding dresses. Joel’s slightly annoyed when y/n and Ellie want to try some on for fun. But then he sees y/n in a wedding dress and realizes he sees her as more than a friend.

yeah, of course I wrote with reference images up:

texture/sheerness/skirt shape/front dress ref back of dress ref, specifically the window-back with the little covered buttons up over the lower part of the hips

[I evade y/n as a convention like the plague, it’s really immersion crushing for me. However, I’ll edit it for your OC’s name if you hit the ask box, so.]

There's already a second chapter if you we want to get into this, comment or kudos and I'll get brave!

----

Ellie grimaces, scrunching her whole face. She looks across the main street of the town you’d come to scout out, Joel taciturn on his horse a few yards away, scanning storefronts and alleys.

“What?” you jerk your head to her sightline and back at her, unholstering your revolver on reflex. Your horse snuffles below you, hoofing at the ground. You can never tell if the creature is clueless, indifferent, or confident in his rider, but he would certainly be perturbed if there were infected.

“Dude, people had whole shops just for weddings?” Ellie asks, snorting derisively.

You follow her extended arm to the storefront she points to, a frilly off-white dress draped over a sunken model, glass from the smashed display window embedded.

“I mean, you had to have seen them in Boston, plenty of bored people with money,” you supply warmly. You’d grown up there, a cataclysm between the city you’d known and Ellie’s birthplace. Weddings were for people who’d given up, who’d aged out of chasing their dreams, settled into dull domesticity. People, usually the woman-coded partner, whose parents had quarter of a million to drop on a party with lifelong implications.

You’d been a little relieved when social ritual had been mostly taken off the table by the apocalypse, so the wedding pressure never reached you. Hadn’t thought about the concept in years.

You wondered who in Victor, Idaho, just over the border from Jackson, had kept a bridal shop open even before the outbreak. The demand just couldn’t match thousands of dollars of dress.

“Oh, no,” Ellie said softly.

“Well, it was a whole thing. Get some champagne, drag a bunch of girls with you, try on all the shapes and get yelled at by your mom, make jokes about the wedding night. Mostly pointless rituals,” you explain.

“You ever go to one?” Ellie asks.

“I mean, I was my cousin’s bridesmaid, so I got drunk in one and shoved into a blue satin thing, if that counts,” you clarify, shifting in your saddle.

Ellie nudges Shimmer forward, Joel drawing up to your position with a helpless shrug to you.

“It was strange. Were you in Jackson for Tommy’s?” you ask. Maria and Tommy still have that thing where they see each other and tune everything else out, even for a beat, seeming like every sense recognizes the other, no matter what else they’re doing. It feels so belligerently normal, and you watch the younger couples in the town taking note to emulate it, like they knew what they were doing because they were born before.

“No,” Joel says, looking wistful. “Seen pictures,” he adds.

“Imagine they were a bigger deal in Texas,” you say, your horses trotting a few paces behind Ellie.

Joel looks at you, face cycling through the decision to keep speaking, the same circuit you always saw him loop before he bit down on a memory and fell silent. You let the afterimage of a smile cross your face before looking down, feeling like he needs the same privacy he’d proven skilled at respecting in your own expression.

—Yesterday—

“Ask you a favor?” you feel your bones leave your body and slam back into place with fear, registering Joel’s low drawl. You’d groggily found your way into the stables to start patrol, hoodie tucked over a beanie, praying not to be seen. Nobody was supposed to be awake this early—you were avoiding a less experienced, loquacious patrolmate you’d been sentenced to and your throat clasps around itself to find that the previous night’s team, Joel’s, was only just returning.

“How bad was it?” you tip your head at the blood spatter on the side of his jacket, reddened bucket and sponge set where he’d been cleaning the infected byproduct off of his horse.

“Oh, I straggled, rest gone home. Patrol route’s quiet now, though,” he non-explains. You’re not sure if he’s trying to keep his voice low out of respect for the early hour or if that’s just his usual rumbling tone resounding it in the stark, chilly air.

“Mhm. What’s the favor?” you ask, busying yourself with saddling your own horse.

“About scouting that town for the group to search, tomorrow. Ellie’s comin’ and…” he trails off, looking at the wood-plank wall, blinking an eye at the fierce early morning sun beaming through a sliver.

You’ve learned not to rush him, learned he’s easier to talk to with his hands full, and he finishes scrubbing off his horse’s bridle while you tack up your own.

“She talks to you, easier,” Joel admits, face obscured behind his horse, taking his time to brush through the animal’s fur, obliviously slurping hay into its mouth before crinkling it in its teeth.

“Huh?” you ask, marvel of articulation that you are.

“Ellie, she’s more talkative,” he repeats himself.

“No, I mean, what?”

You hear a sigh and he leans around his horse, hands on his hips.

“Please?” he asks, slightest edge of irritation at having to say more than he’d practiced. It's all insecurity, not directed at you, but you bristle anyway.

“Alright. It’s your business, but I’ll lend my girl talk instinct,” you prod with bite, stuffing your foot into a stirrup and swinging a leg up onto Clover, who’d been named before you got to Jackson. Your emotional labor threshold never existed, and Joel was fucking pushing it.

“That’s not what I meant,” he sounds defeated as you look down at him, Clover slowing helpfully. His eyes look full, and you peer at him. He looks a little vulnerable—even if your worst anxieties read it as him noticing that you squint to avoid looking at his mouth—which is parted a little, black beard flecked with, for you, exactly the correct amount of grey. Joel rubs his lips together three times, quick, the way you’d seen when he wanted to stop talking at town meetings, shy of the eyes on him.

You soften, aware you’re irritable from lack of sleep and scarcity of good caffeine. You look ahead, reins creaking in your gloves conspicuously in the still space.

“Owe me a beer when I’m back tonight, okay?” you nod at him and press into Clover’s flank as Joel silently assents, focus snapping back to brushing out his horse. You risk looking back as Clover picks up, relieved and let down to see Joel doggedly focused on his task. You’d taken to drinking with the other patrolmen in the Tipsy Bison, edging into something resembling a social life borne of something like mutual responsibility. The group repeatedly made plain his welcome over the last few months until Joel had started to show up routinely, even murmuring a few words here and there, coming to the point that you’d notice when he wasn’t there.

—

“Okay but, why, though?” Ellie paws at a veil as you enter the store, pompous fabric ballooning halfway down the mannequin’s back.

“Dunno, it’s what people wore. I think that was for modesty, symbolically. Only went to a couple. My friends never hit the ‘wedding season’ stride. Too young,” you explain, your senior year of college on outbreak day. A look crosses Joel’s face and he spins the barrel of his revolver, leaning against the counter, trying to look busy checking the register, just in case something helpful lingered.

“Go try one on, Ellie,” you try, unsure what the sixteen-year-old is working through. Her attention hasn’t drifted to the next shops to explore, yet, so it clearly matters.

“Not for me,” she protests, hands raised. “Will you?”

You laugh ruefully, years away from the last time you’d put on something close to a dress, much less something formal, and you'd certainly never thought about being a bride. Not materially.

“C’mon, I’ve never seen like, a normal human in one,” Ellie pouts. You narrow your eyes for a second, lightly dubious.

“That’s not the best idea,” Joel grouses next to you, looking over both his shoulders like he was expecting an ambush even though it had been placid the whole way up here. Two of your three horses nudge each other for space near the tree you’ve secured them too, whinnying.

“I’ll keep my boots on for running. And you’ll keep a lookout,” you reply blithely, rolling your eyes at him.

“Yell for help!’ Ellie still discovering nuptial detritus she’d seen alluded to in comics at most.

You busy yourself finding something not set through with rot, moving towards the back of the store. Ellie swings open a display case and picks up a circular, springy fabric, a pale blue garter, squinting with the effort of discernment.

“Were the hair tie things a thing for a reason?” Ellie asks Joel, looping the blue-ribboned elastic around her wrist for later. Joel’s eyes widen in horror, ready to run towards the nearest infected to avoid explaining the whole garter thing to Ellie.

A second, more frigid wave hits him, remembering his own wedding day, Tommy helping him get just drunk enough to go through with the embarrassing ritual that complemented the bouquet toss. Sarah’s mom had loved all the stupid little wedding-day-things, though, so he’d accepted the shot(s) his brother snuck him and was grateful his red face would be under a skirt. He’d barely been eighteen, doing the right thing with Sarah’s mom pregnant, and two-years-younger Tommy held it together for him the whole day. He thought of not being here for the day his little brother had gotten hitched, a candid Polaroid in focus in the reel of guilt he’d built for himself these last twenty-some years. Tommy looked like his brother as he was before in it, looking up Maria with rapt awe as he accepted her hand to be led back to the dance floor. The crinkling at the corner of his eyes, though older, looked like Tommy again, and the joy Joel felt for him was dulled by the impossibility of ever speaking enough words to draw a partner near.

“Joel?” she pokes, twanging the elastic a little to jar him. He eyes it warily, expression the most intimidated you'd ever seen him.

You trudge past Ellie, awkwardly dragging a plastic-encased parcel of a voluminous dress, the best-preserved and least yellowed you’d found. You really didn’t relish the idea of figuring out how to get it on alone, but seeing their exchange, you fully self-preserved your way away from that particular explanation to the changing space.

“Fuck me,” you grimace, noticing the trail of covered buttons leading from the open mid-back to the very last point it could presentably grace between the dimples on your back. Wrestling this on would be a chore.

Before you shuck everything but your boots and socks, you try to smooth your hair down, the moss-flecked mirror of the changing space indicating how hopeless it is. You re-strap your pistol holster to your thigh, an overabundance of caution rubbing off on you from Joel's mere anxious proximity.

You look at your reflection a minute, appraising heavy breasts, softer hips than before. You’re proud that your abdomen and arms remain taut and toned from a combination of riding and patrolling, sprinting for your life, and helping around Jackson. For once in your life, you fall asleep at night when you hit the pillow, naked and alone, no longer captive of the ceiling’s backlighting of unidentifiable darting thoughts. Blinking your musing away, you remember how your cousin’s bridal attendant had made a circle of the dress for her to step into, and do your best to prepare it so you can slide it up and ask Ellie to help.

—

Ellie slingshotted the something-blue at Joel’s face as he finished explaining the garter tradition, hushing her ferociously and finally placing both palms over his whole face, crossing and re-crossing his ankles where he leant against the counter, rifle over his shoulder.

Ellie rolled her eyes, haughtily full of recent knowledge of thighs and what they connect to from Cat, fern and moth tattoo freshly peeling over her acid burn.

—

“Ellie!” you call once the skirt is over your hips, bodice with laced cap sleeves over your shoulders. You feel a little bad stepping past the carefully sewn fabric in your hiking boots and high socks, grimy from the trail’s dust, trying to hold it up while keeping the bodice straight.

She smiles wryly as her head pokes around the corner.

“I’ll help if you tell me if people really launched their bouquets at people and one person really pulled a—uh, shit, uh, thigh lingerie thing—off of the bride in front of everyone?”

You honk a laugh, a horrible sound, thinking of the velocity with which you’d seen Ellie launch bricks, knowing she has no sense of the soft lob of flowers at friends that she refers to. You guess she's picturing a full-bodied overarm spike ending in flower shrapnel instead of the over-the-shoulder choreography towards the bride's most single friend that happened in reality. You clasp the delicate buttons at your lower back together as best you can with your palms.

“Sounds like that was regionally universal in America, yeah, but—”

“Holy shit,” Ellie comments, suddenly shuddering in a very teenage, possibly exaggerated ripple of disgust. “Looked like a hair tie,” she mutters.

“Just—please help,” you hold the tulle and hand-cut lace near the buttons out to her.

“Wow, this was for everyone to see you in?” Ellie asks, alluding to the sheer fabric that gave the impression that the lace filigrees were directly applied to your skin. Asymmetrical, hand-sewn flowers cinch around your breasts and middle when she finally secures it.

You turn to the angled three-part mirror, noticing where your epaulet tattoo complicates the sheer effect the designers intended by the lace, nose bunching up. Not the flesh of the intended buyer of this thing, for sure.

“Come on, in the light!” Ellie goads gently.

Bracing to self-deprecate, you tuck your hair up in one hand and hold the front of the dress up and away from your muddy boots. You and outward, finding the weird little podium that was apparently customary—you remember your cousin twirling on it a similar one in delight when she’d found the right dress.

“Yeah, fuck, I can’t do this for long,” you bristle, feeling ungainly in the garment, dropping the skirts around your feet.

“And you’d just walk up to someone and kiss them in front of everyone and that worked?” Ellie prattles, tailing you closely.

Joel’s retreated to the store entrance, hunting rifle comfortable in his hands but pointedly ready.

He turns in the middle of running some sort of ten foot patrol route along the length of the store’s entrance, inevitable that he’d face you eventually. You realize he’s just pacing, the town quiet, stuck in a situation he accidentally created.

Ellie gives you a look that looks through you, and you recognize the contemplation in it. She’s thinking of someone, and what formalizing intimacy means, probably. Certainly where your mind was at around her age. Fuck, you’d not go back to sixteen for all the pre-outbreak world.

“I’m gonna go check the horses,” she mumbles, maybe in her own head, maybe more deliberate than that.

Your eyes bulge as you realize you’re stuck in this fucking thing and Ellie’s across the street.

You turn to Joel with a prepared face, tugging your dimples into a self-effacing “look at this shit” face.

“Wanna try one on?” you jab first, trying to get there before Joel can make this worse, more stupid. He’d kind of asked you, or asked for a favor that led to this, so you felt contented blaming him for it. You definitely will if his slight over-caution is vindicated and you get rushed by anything hostile while you're wearing this. Your holster may feel comforting, but the weight of the skirt would put a real drag on any reflexes you had if you actually needed your pistol.

Joel halted at the midpoint of his circling, rifle slack in his hands, hanging limp before him. The light from outside rings his form, broad shoulders and imposing frame worn uneasily in his posture.

His mouth parts the way it had when you’d ridden past him in the stables, chest expanding and falling in quick iterations, hazel eyes stranded on you.

You breathe as you hold his eyes, unable to back down from any time he proved capable of holding direct eye contact. Now that you had it, you realized you’d been teasing it out of him for months, forcing him to look right at you, any creative way you could, driving him up the wall.

Joel might as well have been waist-deep in water for how slowly he moves towards you.

“Sorry, not meaning to bring up anything—” you swallow the word painful, revising quickly, “from before,” you finish weakly. Gold star, idiot. You had no idea, but what if it had been a wife he’d lost? Fuck’s sake. Though, Ellie wouldn't be cruel like that—

Joel shakes his head absently, dismissive. He was run aground, captive to taking you in. The dress made no overtures to performative modesty, sheer tulle slits up to the edge of your hipbones, catching on your holster where you shift. Joel assesses the fabric spread over your chest quickly, mouth upturning too subtly for you to feel 100% confident you’d seen him do it. You’d seen him get the lay of a whole horde in a split second, and stood curious what it was he’d noted from the two and a half seconds his eyes drifted over you.

“‘m here, now,” he mumbles, looking down and pulling the bolt back, a dull click as it confirmed he’d chambered this particular round ten times in the last five minutes. If a weapon could sound exasperated with him, it did, and he jerks his head without turning it to Ellie’s retreating form.

Joel’s mind sprints between stations, picking up an artifact of your expression at each one: your body, your easy conversations on patrol, fumbling between them all, not sure where to start.

Ellie wasn’t far enough away for Joel to start this now, to cross the shop and kiss you, podium leveling you to the perfect height for him to lean into, hands on your face. Something in his posture looks ready to move quickly, and it's not to use the weapon his knuckles whiten around.

The edges of his eyes pinch, like he’s struggling to make sense of an indescribable noise. The tendon running from your ear to collarbone stands out as you look to the side, pretending to appraise the way the dress fits over your hips, snugly buttoned. Joel’s face shifts from startled to starved while you take reprieve from his focus.

Your furrowed brows while you watch Joel watch you spark understanding of the mechanics of a constant, firm draw towards your person. He’s recognizing you as more than a formidable shot he can be at ease with, not just a pleasant confidante with different but complementary pre-outbreak life experiences and a healthy sense of privacy.

Joel glances down one more time, catching your eyes on the way back up as he clears his throat, finding you looking at him sheepishly. He hadn’t tried to say a word in minutes.

“I’m. I’m stuck in here. Ellie—” you stammer, face reddening viciously. This was going to be a long, tiring patrol excursion, and you worried you had already made it weird.

You idly wonder where he might put his hands on you if you were alone, right now, and your terror is visible as the thought drifts by. If he would.

Joel doesn’t look back at Ellie where you’d normally expect a concerned jolt at her name, hazel eyes heatedly dark. You can chalk it up to the dimmed interior of the shop, but enough sunlight streams in to make you doubt its just the environment.

Grimacing at a clearly out-of-earshot Ellie, you need to be out of this fucking thing and redouble.

“Joel, can you? I feel bad ripping it and would really like my jeans again,” you offer weakly.

Joel’s fingertips, fingertips you wish you didn’t know were callused and so goddamn cautious when they’d had the occasion to meet yours, flex on his gun.

“Not sure I know how to, I mean, those seem—special?” he stammers at the prospect, you having turned to bare your back to him.

Joel breathes in a way you can hear on the silent street, usually so contained.

She’s just helping you see the buttons. Joel thinks, counting out twelve of them, in total.

Joel steadies his gaze, tipping his head forward and choosing to take in the slope of your back, mostly bare and deep-dipping expanse scantly wreathed in lace. His face looks like he’s staring something potentially fatal down, gritted jaw muscles pulsing. He steps towards you, though. He’d never done anything in the right order, not Sarah, not with Tess, not a bit, one single time. Might as well get you dress off before he can even get the courage to kiss you.

Slinging his rifle’s strap over his shoulder, Joel keeps his fingers at a careful angle, purposefully not against your skin. Pushing the top button through the satin loop containing it, he steps up on the podium with you, only because it puts his lips well out of an easy distance to drag along the nape of your neck. Hoping he can feel his way down the buttons without touching or looking at you, he fails three buttons down, knuckles brushing the bottom of your spine.

You laugh nervously, looking back at Joel. Every part of your core is twining into a spiral, abdomen first, then a layer deeper, then a clench you won’t register because then you’d have to admit that something was going on.

For his part, his dark brows are furrowed in effort, decidedly back in the realm of watching every movement to avoid the electrocution he’d just experienced from grazing you. Now was the time for accuracy, not speed.

Joel takes in your little cap sleeves between buttons, down to the eighth of twelve. The hand-cut lace outlines your shoulders, leading to lean skin below, dipping lower in the front than he should be noticing now that you’ve turned away from him—but he’s too tall to miss it once you’re standing on level ground. He wonders what you would do if he pulled you against him now, back pressed to his front, his mouth on your neck before your own.

‘Thank you,” Joel says.

You crane your head to meet his eyes again, hands pressed to opposite shoulders to prevent the now-loosened dress from slipping all the way. Maybe you didn’t need the rest of the buttons, but there they went. You blink at him, wondering what would happen if you leaned against him.

“What?” you feel all wrapped in half-fabric, half-suggestion, no idea what the fuck he means.

“For comin’,” he gives. “Didn’t, uh, thanks for…” he trails off, so unaccustomed to indirectness and illocution that he doesn’t know what to call it. He clears his throat.

Joels hits the tenth button and breathes deep, flicking through the last two like he’s reloading, stepping back to reclaim his rifle and get so, so many feet away from you.

You turn to him, holding the weighty dress flush against your skin with both hands.

Joel’s chest is rising and falling every three seconds in rapid cycles, peculiar as you’d patrolled enough together to hear how he can silence his breath, the infrequent draws of someone yards underwater. He either can’t control this or made a choice to stop, and you can only think that the rust colored plaid he’d worn today was truly nice on him.

The rest of your scouting trip is deafeningly quiet, like Joel riding next to you and his surly expression produce volume equivalent to standing under a roaring set of falls. Ellie punctures it every few minutes with an attempted joke and you can almost feel Joel groan before you hear it each time, thoughtful.

Notes:

Here's the meta you didn't ask for

In current 2020, hard to see in weddings as anything other than class signifiers/routes to wife-n’ up, but:

holy shit does the apocalypse , esp. Tommy’s hope-imperative thing, make room for meaningfully coded rituals and aspirational ideologies not hijacked by the wedding industry’s profit motive.

Joel’s coming from the context of a wife who left Joel alone because having Sarah ruined her young life, so his view of it is understandably dismissive. Reader was more interesting to make opposite—college-aged asshole without responsibilities on Outbreak Day, less room for traditions.

But: Jackson is frozen in time and CRAVES ritual. Where it was meaningless in a world of abundance, you need markers of the years and ways to say “that person is my person;" it's joy as resistance.

For instance, something about Christmas hits different when you’re not fist fighting consumers for prelit trees after scuttling past a Salvation Army Santa in a mall. Jackson feels so sincere, every decoration scavenged or hewn with love, with purpose and forethought.

There’s joy in scarcity and glut in abundance is my point, I guess. Joel gets that on a basic level, even though he’s obstinate as hell about letting himself have anything good or even open to the idea.

#prompt fills #joel tlou #tlou #tlou ii #dumb epiphanies #joel miller #joel x reader #joel miller x reader #the last of us joel #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us ii #the last of us 2 #asks #filled prompts #prompts #joel/reader

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 7

• More YEEHAW with a dash of bachelorette action, a sprinkle of rollin'-in-the-hay (literally) and one big dollop of "oh we're poor" to set up for next week's chapter.

• Screenshot credits:

Hana: @pixieferry

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and BizzysChoices YouTube channel (@thefirstcourtesan also sent screenshots for Penelope's dancing scene from her Liam MC playthrough).

Maxwell: @thethots-plicken

• These are the tags you can block if you don’t want to see these posts: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• This is the only chapter that could potentially have no men in it, and you deliberately force the focus away from Hana? Now if that doesn't sound like the TRR writing team then I don't know what does.

• Why is Madeleine here? Go climb a pine tree in Fydelia or something.

• If you're going to give Drake a whole extended family, PB, at least get the family straight? Who is Leona, is she Bianca's sister? Jackson's sister? WHOSE SISTER IS SHE.

• Title: A Night Out In the Town

Alternative Title: The Mandatory Annual Courtly Maidens Meetup

Alternative to the Alternative Title: Hana Lee and the Audacity of this Bitch

(you know which one)

• This chapter works mostly for the nostalgia factor. There's plenty of it in these scenes.

• Bachelor parties and bachelorettes have pretty much been a long-standing tradition in TRR - there's always going to be that one chapter where someone gets a sendoff via a wild party (exactly how wild really depends on whoever is throwing it). The MC meets most of the original gang (except Hana) at Liam's bachelor party, and there have been at least 5 bachelor/bachelorette parties in the series so far (counting this one). I won't be surprised if they gave Penelope a dude in TRR Book 3 just for the express purpose of having another excuse to have another bachelorette party next book.

• The one really good thing about this chapter? It's that Hana will not stand for any nonsense from Madeleine:

She's not going to pretend Madeleine deserves to hold any space among her circle of friends, or even of acquaintances. She's not going to allow Madeleine to get away with not following the rules of an event she's planned, not when Madeleine failed to show the same courtesy to women in her court. If Madeleine insists on badgering the MC about her 'pregnancy', Hana is here to defend you. The message is loud and clear. This is Hana Lee's show, she is running it, and if you can't listen to what she says you can fall on a cactus.

• I only wish we were able to give her the kind of loyalty and protection from Madeleine, that Hana deserved. She did not deserve for us to allow the bullying done to her, to be brushed aside as a hazing ritual. Hell, even while knowing what Madeleine did to her, we didn't even get to check up on her.

Hana did not deserve for us to pretend that never happened to her, and she definitely did not deserve to have her own pain be treated over and over in the narrative like it didn't matter. Even now, her no-nonsense behaviour is rooted firmly in her concern for other people, like the MC and Savannah. Why can't the team ever allow Hana to do this for herself? Why can't the other characters ever step in to defend her the same way? Why am I allowed to (optionally) coddle Penelope twice in today's chapter in a way I never can for Hana?? Why should Hana always be the one protecting but hardly ever the one protected??

• So the ladies of the court have arrived, leaving a puzzled Bianca and a perpetually pissed-off Leona in their wake. Hana explains the situation: she invited Kiara, Olivia and Penelope along. Madeleine invited herself for the sole purpose of being nosy.

• ...in what universe is Madeleine a "public relations angel". Have you SEEN how badly you did your own job the last book??

• Olivia and Madeleine can't last two minutes without sniping at each other and this makes Savannah sad (not that they care, they're enjoying the back-and-forth banter) The MC elicits a promise from the two that Olivia will not stab Madeleine, and Madeleine will not "mentally and emotionally break Olivia". What's with Madeleine and constantly wanting to break people?

• Also you really think you can emotionally break Olivia??? She's from Lythikos, you pineapple!

• Hana mentions shopping to Bianca and Leona, and we have yet another hint that all is not well at the ranch.

• The ladies change at a store nearby, to outfits that suit the rustic theme for the event. Which means Savannah gets the opportunity to dress a little more glam on this day, and the ladies of the court get to dress down a bit. Well...except for Olivia, who prefers to change into her red Coronation gown. Here are the girls in order of preference:

Okay first off - I have to say this - FULL BODY SPRITES FOR THE LADIES FINALLY OMG!!! It's the first time I'm actually seeing them all like this: the last time we managed to see a change of outfits was when we had to choose their outfits for the wedding, and even then only the half-body sprites were used. The fact that we never get to see Olivia in a different outfit kind of makes me feel like they might be saving her sprite for a bigger diamond scene? Idk.

• Also how did no one either notice nor point out that Olivia was still wearing a gown?

• Hana stays in the outfit she wore the previous day, and you get to choose whether she keeps the hat or not. The denim short skirt and brown shrug is a lovely outfit on Kiara, and I like the necklace Penelope has on. I think my favourite is Savannah's? I love the rhinestones, the embellished belt, the flower design, and it's a beautiful silver colour that compliments Savannah's skin tone.

• Savannah may annoy the hell out of me but one thing you can't deny about her is she's HELLA fashionable (remember the Drake engagement scene where he says the lavender coloured dress was her choice? That dress was super pretty).

• The MC wearing gold for bachelorettes is kind of a theme with her now lol. Started with the gold theme for Madeleine's bachelorette, then a theme where she wore gold and everyone else was supposed to wear black for her own, and now every going country - but she and Savannah get to bring on the bling.

(Fun Fact: Both Madeleine's and Savannah's bachelorettes take place in Chapter 7 of their respective books, with very different outcomes)

• Our first stop after the country makeover is the bar! Which is Hana's choice, because she is the kind of lovely, wholesome human being who will fully commit to research for her friend's sister's bachelorette party.

Why are you lying Hana.

• So the MC helps Hana out first my selecting drinks. You have 5 options to choose from: beer, cocktails, champagne, one of those fire drinks, and sparkling water. Savannah is doubtful and then excited to try the fire drinks, loves fruity cocktails and enjoys the bubbly. Olivia is impressed when Savannah chugs her fire drink. Kiara is amazed at the sight of beer coming in bottles. Penelope is disappointed if we decide to order a very tame sparkling water. Madeleine raises her eyebrows if you try to take anything even remotely alcoholic because she has already decreed you pregnant.

• Next stop: dancing! You get to choose which lady you'd like to dance with, and if you're romancing Hana this opens up to a romantic scene!

Hana: is happy and enthusiastic if you're friends, whoops and giggles as you spin her. More slow dancing happening if you're married to her...definitely more romantic.

Kiara: is nervous at first because she doesn't know "the social mores of this establishment", but when the MC reassures her that no one cares, she lets go of her inhibitions and shakes her hips, enjoying herself.

Olivia: very competitive, is confident she can dance circles around the MC, starts doing martial arts instead. Savannah reminds her it's not a duel and Olivia's like "EVERYTHING'S A DUEL". I should take her to Kerala and have her learn kalaripayattu 😁 (also I'd be interested in seeing a three-way dance battle between Hana, Maxwell and Olivia plsthnx).

Savannah: Also enthusiastic and excited, v much the 'happy bride'. Both Savannah and the MC are comfortable in this setting.

Penelope: This comes with a reference to her social anxiety, because her initial nervousness has to do with the crowds. The MC makes space for her through dancing, and she winds up having fun while still feeling comfortable. Madeleine tries to make a smart-alec comment but pretty much no one gives a shit about her so it's okay.

Madeleine: does not exist.

• After this, Savannah shows the girls how to do a Texas Two-Step, which is baffling to them. Hana gets it down in like two minutes, and the MC depending on options can either do it perfectly, go off-beat then claim she created her own trend lol, or trip over herself and hurt her feet, following which Hana assumes she is doing the robot, and does it alongside her. Apparently she learned it during a summer class she took while her embroidery instructor was sick.

• I don't get it, what's with all these random embroidery references they keep throwing at Hana these days.

• Olivia and Kiki are still baffled by the two-step dance, so Savannah recommends more drinking! Madeleine and Olivia are competitive with each other and loving it, and Penelope and Kiara are confused about how they're supposed to drink tequila. The MC gets to show them how it's done. She can either do it right (pour the salt, drink the shot, suck the lime), or get it wrong (pour the shot, suck the salt, drink the lime). The highlight of this is definitely the last one (pour the salt, drink the salt, suck the salt!). Like, the MC actually tips the contents of an entire salt shaker into her mouth! Failplay MC is the very definition of chaotic energy.

• Kiki, like the awesome friend she is, asks Savannah if she'd like to flirt or do anything hot-guy-related, which Savannah laughs and refuses. The topic then comes around to her relationship with Bertrand and his insecurities regarding Chuck. She says she barely had a thing with him but she's afraid Bertrand might do something stupid (he might, actually). The MC can choose to reassure her.

• I don't get it like...okay? Why am I the one you're telling this to rather than your own fiancé? If he's the one having the insecurities, and you know they're there, what are you doing to alleviate that? I mean as far as I can see your aunt is pretty much dragging him the whole time for not magically acquiring ranch skills and I hardly see you even talking about that. I don't see you actually trying to talk to him. So why tell me all these things - go tell him and sort it out yourself.

• Because Savannah speaks about wanting a happy family in the wake of this conversation, the topic then returns to that of the MC's ongoing attempts to get pregnant.

• Madeleine is a nosy, entitled piece of shit. She just is. Raises her eyebrows at me when I'm drinking, makes terrible apple puns for a fetus that probably isn't even there yet, comes for a trip she's not even been fucking invited to so she can poke her entitled nose into my business. Even her show of 'sympathy' revolves around her and her problems. All this while she acts like a martyr for following a dress code (remember how she dragged Penelope for not getting a metallic dress on time and 'ruining' her dress code, but came to our bachelorette making excuses for not following our dress code?). I'm glad Hana was having none of it at least now.

The only differences between this scene in a Hana playthrough vs in the others is that Hana tries to get Madeleine to stop before the MC gets to give her answer ("Madeleine, please..."), and that she reacts sadly to the MC if she chooses to be openly sad about it.

• ...so the scene in the hotel in Chapter 5 (where the MC and Hana could talk about what Dr Ramirez said, if Hana was your LI) always had a "there, we spoke about it, now shut up" feel to me. Because now they've given the MC a voice regarding how she feels about this pregnancy (we can either deem it invasive, speak normally about it or be very, very sad and spill out how disappointed we are. The last option's dialogues is the one I put up).

It's surreal...to see an MC who can say this openly while Hana's condition and how it's affecting her is barely even addressed. It's even more surreal that even now we're still coddling Penelope to the high heavens, and how a lot of aggressive importance is still given to Olivia, while still ignoring what could be happening to Hana if she's married...or making even a chapter that has potentially no men in it about literally anyone but her.

• The nice thing is Savannah is quite supportive in all three options. Olivia diffuses the tension/seriousness by suggesting we have more drinks.

• Aha! Queen Amalas.

• So she claims she came down not to pressurize us into anything but to see the MC in an environment outside of the palace/estate and court, including how she behaves with other people. She has no friends but treats her servants well (and apparently tipped her waiter a thousand). But the little bits she adds in about our origins can be a little unnerving. While offering a Sarzac she mentions our home state New York and asks if we'd prefer a Manhattan, and suggests we would know about how important a good tip is since we worked as a waitress. The MC's reactions can range between friendly, curious or accusatory. Overall the general impression is that she's mysterious and alluring, but there's something about her that spells danger.

This is me rn:

• Anyway...so we leave with our drinks, and join the girls. Penelope is drunk and talking to a mechanical bull, Kiara is drunk and trying really hard to talk country to the same bull. Savannah deeply (I'm kidding) regrets not returning Kiara's kindness in teaching her French by teaching her American English, coz it would have saved her this moment of cringing in a bar rn.

• They raise a toast to either Savannah, or friendship, or "putting the past behind us". I don't want to raise a toast to any of these options.

• Savannah is emotional and speaks of how hard it was to fit in and how much she missed Cordonia and the people she knew in court when she was away bringing up Bartie, and how the MC "changed all that" (how??? Again, a lot of what she does is optional, not default! Plus a bulk of the work of finding her went to her own brother, and later a fumbling Bertrand - not the MC unless she really chose to help. My MC Esther gets these dialogues despite not bothering to help Savannah in any way) and how she is now friends with all of them.

• Diamond scene! The ladies of the court have never had sleepovers (for various reasons), so MC-who-had-a-way-more-normal-life to the rescue!

• We start off with a drink. Three are on offer and we get to choose one: Hana's special Hot Chocolate recipe ("like drinking a minty chocolaty hug"), Olivia's Lythikos Nog ("like drinking a buttery, spiced cloud") or the traditional Walker Hot Toddies from Savannah (basically hot water and whiskey made with lemon, honey and spices).

• Once that's out of the way, we start off with, as the MC calls it, "gossiping about our love lives". Penelope is asked first, and she gets to tell us about her ongoing relationship with Kiara's brother Ezekiel. Olivia is next, and depending on your choices she can openly speak about the fact that Liam didn't choose her, twice, and how she needs to move on. She can also choose not to talk about it if the MC tells the other ladies of the court to back off (which is funny, because the whole thing was her idea to begin with). There's not a lot of change to this dialogue in all the playthroughs, except for mentions of whether Liam was engaged to the MC or not.

• After this, the MC can choose to ask either Madeleine or Kiara the same question:

- Madeleine is defensive and reminds the MC that she "interfered" with her relationship status (wasn't even much of a relationship to begin with), but eventually makes it known that she doesn't believe in "sappy romance" and would rather marry to benefit her house or country instead (nice save there, PB).

- Kiara is surprised and fumbles with her answers, speaking at first about how busy her life currently is. But eventually she does tell you she has a type. The dialogue differs depending on whether the MC is married to Drake or not:

(Screenshots on the left are from my playthrough, and the ones on the right are from @thefirstcourtesan's Drake playthrough).

...I look at Madeleine's dialogue in this scene and need to remind myself that even broken clocks can be right twice a day.

• Repeat after me, Kiki: I deserve way better than a dude who might throw me under the bus just so he can kiss a Duchess' ass.

• Also most guys in Cordonia must have rippling abs, right. Considering that 90% of the male LIs in PB have six-pack abs.

• Interestingly, Olivia is allowed her feelings - and the confusion and mess that comes along with loving someone and not having that love returned - across playthroughs, but Kiara's has to be adjusted and shrouded in vagueness according to which MC she is speaking to. There are two factors at play there:

1. More often than not the narrative has taken Olivia's feelings more seriously than it has ever taken Kiara's. Of course part of it could be the childhood memories and the amount of time she spent with Liam, but we need to remember that the general attitude in the narrative towards Kiara's feelings constantly bordered on dismissiveness - and that wasn't even the worst of the treatment meted out to her.

2. Have you seen the amount of hate Kiara got from some Drake stans for as little as looking in the man's direction?? They'd tear her apart if she dared to even mention her crush in a Drake MC's playthrough!

• The ladies of the court now want to play literally anything else, so the MC pulls out the tried-and-tested Truth and Dare game out of her fancy cowboy hat. Here's the way it goes:

- The MC nominates Savannah, since she's the bride-to-be. Savannah goes for dare, and has to go by a nickname for the rest of the night (default: Bridechilla. I was really craving something so I went for Fried Chicken 🤣), or pose for a sexy photo which she can text to Bertrand. No response, but you can hear him faint upstairs. When asked to nominate someone, she nominates Penelope to ask a question.

- Penelope chooses Kiara, who picks 'truth'. She makes the MC choose for her instead. The MC does what the Choices universe calls a Wed, Bed or Dead which is really a way of saying FMK without having to write the F. You can give her an option between three women (Olivia, Penelope and Madeleine) or three men. Based on your playthrough, Kiara's list of men will vary (Liam, Maxwell and Bastien in a Drake playthrough, and Bradshaw, Bastien and Drake in other playthroughs). Her 'bed's are Olivia, Maxwell and Bastien, her 'wed's are Penelope (obviously), Liam (to be Queen) and Drake (also obviously), and her 'dead's are Madeleine (but obviously), Bastien and Bradshaw (coz CORDONIA RULEZ!). It's interesting to note that Kiara seems surprised/shocked by the idea when you ask her to choose between the girls, and Hana eases her into it by stating that they're all friends here. Which I found really sweet. Kiara then nominates Madeleine to choose someone.

(note: why is Savannah acting so shocked about Kiara choosing her brother for 'marry' when she spoke about liking him barely ten minutes ago???)

- Madeleine chooses Olivia, hoping to wriggle out any information about the mysterious mission Olivia seems to be on. Olivia cleverly tricks her, by reminding Madeleine that she didn't say truth or dare, and picking dare. With no option she asks Olivia to prank call someone. Olivia has three options:

1. Give Maxwell a phone call pretending to have tickets for a Celine Dion concert. He has to choose the best noble house. Sweet Maxwell cannot choose between his own house and ours, but loses out because the correct answer (obviously) is House Nevrakis lol. Savannah's best line comes from here: "Don't worry, his heart will go on" 🤣

2. Give Bertrand a call claiming to be a representative from the Cordonia Philharmonic Orchestra, and Olivia asks the same question to him. His answer is House Beaumont, without question, and Olivia gives him the same answer. The nice thing about this option is that it's coded such that if you chose Savannah's 'sexy photo' option, the narrative mentions that his voice is 'woozy' and he sounds like he recently came back to consciousness. Whereas if you chose the nickname option, these lines would not be included.

3. Give Drake a call claiming to be from a "secret whiskey enthusiast society". Drake somehow figures out that the caller is Olivia, thus leaving her very, very annoyed.

Once this is done, Madeleine nominates the MC, who chooses truth or dare instead of a person like the others did. Hana makes the suggestions this time.

If you choose dare to a single Hana, she asks you to pretend to lasso Savannah.

If you choose dare to a married Hana, she will ask you to kiss her.

If you choose truth, she asks you what law you'd pass if you had a chance, and you have to choose between a serious one like "restrictions on paparazzi", or jokey ones like naming a day after the MC or getting fancy hats from her subjects. The last one yields this adorable exchange:

- Before we can go any further, the girls notice Savannah feeling drowsy and decide to call it a night. The only people who have basically not been asked anything are Penelope (but she already did get to speak about her beau) and Hana (because no one bothers to ask her anything, she isn't even nominated).

• We return to the kitchen, where our LI is waiting for us. The MC tells them about the visit from Amalas, which the LI also views as suspicious, and the MC has a choice again in how she wants to react to this (the visit was invasive, she is impressed with Amalas' guts, she doesn't know what to make of her). They assure the MC that they'll alert the Walkers.

• LI Diamond scene! A cute scene at the hayloft where the MC and LI can have some private time away from the ranch. Those walls must be paper-thin. The first half deals with the couple talking about loving this glimpse of simplicity, and the second half has the MC choosing how she would have them seduce her. The closing bit mostly has the couple talking about how they feel at home with each other no matter where they are.

Liam: Gets a bit of a hero moment at the start of the scene, where a stray beam almost falls on the MC and he catches it. They joke about a couple of things, such as how 'adventurous' the barn is, and whether or not a rendezvous in a barn would qualify as being in the 'outdoors' 😂 In the second half of the scene, the MC can choose between a 'rough-and-tumble', or have Liam sleep with her in his usual tender way. He clearly has a preference for the second, but is more than game if the MC wants to try the first.

The music for Liam's scene, for some reason, is different (his background score for the first half is the romantic one from High School Story, and Drake's and Hana's is the romantic one from Big Sky Country. I'm not sure what Maxwell's is like because I have only seen screenshots of the scene) and he is the only LI who gets the option to keep his hat.

Ending Caption: Hay-pilly Ever After

Hana: The MC notices that Hana seems happy and at home at the ranch, and Hana points out how different the environment of the countryside ("cows outside, open air, no display cupboards") is so different from her home, where "there's gilt on the walls and silver in the display cupboards", and how she loves this space. The couple imagine together how it might have been if they met in a more humble setting (with the MC as a cowgirl and Hana as a salon owner), and how they would fall in love. In the second half, Hana expresses her desire to go a little wild, and the MC can choose between having her hands bound, or being blindfolded.

This scene tells us that Hana does an amazing impression of a Southern accent and I personally would love it if she could coach Kiara on doing one xD

Ending Caption: Country Courting

Maxwell: As he leads her to the loft, the MC has the option to point out that they have a bed, to which he quips that she's obviously not had as much camping experience as he does. They do a little dance in the barn, and they admit that they missed each other while she was gone. In the second half of the scene, the MC has the opportunity to tease Maxwell, beckoning him to chase her around the barn and catch her. I think he also tells her to "use your words" at one point.

I think this scene has the cutest ending, because they both have an impromptu yodelling duet after that.

Ending Caption: Oh, Darlin'

Drake: This scene is more nostalgic in nature because Drake is reliving his childhood, and admits that he didn't know how this trip back would turn out, or feel. He had no idea how different everything would be, nor what his emotions returning to the ranch would be like - and which Valtoria will always be home to him in some ways, the ranch's simple charm means something special to him. The couple can imagine this place to be either perfect for romance, or for bringing back their future children. In the second half of the scene, he confesses to fantasizing about the MC in the palace stables, and the couple indulge in a bit of role play. This also includes an option to take her against a wall.

The end of the scene has Drake tell the MC that being with her itself feels like a fantasy, one that sometimes still feels too good to be true....and therefore he never wants to take it for granted.

Ending Caption: Making Hay.

• We then see the couple going downstairs the next morning, where the MC manages to overhear a conversation between Leona and Bianca that indicates the ranch has no helpers before an auction that is supposed to bring in money for the wedding, and is in deep, deep trouble.

• So our next chapter will probably involve the people of the court working together to help save the ranch, perhaps some flashbacks? Idk. And perhaps because of their contributions, Leona may thaw a little. Who knows.

General Thoughts:

• Plenty of callbacks this chapter!!

- The bachelorette party itself has plenty parallels and could almost be seen as an inverse of Madeleine's bachelorette. Back then, the ladies of the court each began to express frustration and hurt at her controlling, bullying behaviour, Hana's confidence was left in tatters, Olivia was an outsider to the court not bound by their rules.

Here, Madeleine is a largely unwanted presence and pretty much everyone makes it clear that what she thinks no longer matters. Hana is at the peak of her confidence here. She makes it clear that if Madeleine wants to stay she has to follow their rules. Olivia still manifests as a mysterious outside figure, but more out of choice than out of necessity.

- The other indicator of this parallel is what Amalas tells the MC about wanting to know who she is dealing with. She mentions that she wants to see how the MC interacts with her "friends and servants", and it kind of gets me wondering just how much trouble Madeleine would have been in if a figure like Amalas managed to see her behaviour in Italy with courtiers like Penelope and Hana.

- The fire drink which the MC can optionally suggest for both Drake and Savannah to drink. Drake drinks it in a competitive spirit in his birthday party scene in Book 1, Savannah looks doubtful at first but sees it through, to which the MC will remark that "your brother would be proud".

- Savannah mentioning Bertrand giving someone at Cordonia Philharmonic Orchestra a "severe tongue lashing" 🤣 Which kinda was a term Bertrand used for himself in Book 2.

- Lady 'I didn't know I could dance until I actually did it' Kiara. In Book 2 Hana can compliment Kiara on her dancing skills, to which Kiara laughs and mentions that she had no idea she could dance either. She was super drunk back then, now she knows it while she's sober too! 😅

- Some bits in this chapter remind me of our time with the Beaumonts in Book 1? Like the scene where Penelope speaks to the mechanical bull while drunk, while kiiiinda resembles her drunken behaviour at the Beaumont Bash. Also the whole situation of helpers/staff dropping off at the last minute seems a little parallel to what happened twice to the Beaumonts? Once with the MC's boat and then with the Beaumont Bash to host the court. I kinda find that interesting because Bertrand has been in a similar situation and hopefully could feel...somewhat...useful? If he can manage to string more words together, that is.

- Hana daring her wife to kiss her during Truth and Dare, which is (if you bought that scene and actually picked that option) exactly how their first kiss happened 😁😁😁

• I kinda like it when we have chapters like these where the women of the court have a chapter to themselves, because the dynamics are fun and the women are all different in ways that tend to complement each other.

• Honestly, Savannah asking my MC to become her maid of honour was pretty jarring considering my MC doesn't care a single bit about her and has honestly done very very little (if at all) to help her. I mean I can kiiiiinda understand if the MC is her sister-in-law/future SIL via Drake or Maxwell maybe...but otherwise why couldn't Kiara be an option? How is it that Savannah mentions her struggles to fit in, yet Kiara genuinely helping her never even features? Not even once?

I honestly think that Kiara could have been as good a choice to be MoH - we could have either coded it based on our diamond choices with Savannah, or split it between MC for Drake and Maxwell stans, and Kiki for Hana and Liam stans. Or at least more of an acknowledgement of how they were friends before she left? Beyond an offhand "oh yeah you taught me French, not like that helped me in that completely foreign place where I was bringing up my baby, maybe I should have taught you to speak country". Because having Savannah give me a grand speech about how amazing I've been to her was nothing short of weird and it would have felt a lot more natural to see her at least remembering the friendship(s) she did make in court.

• In at least two points in the chapter, Penelope requires someone to handhold her into certain things. You have to create the space for her while dancing. You have to decide on what questions to ask Kiara coz Penelope doesn't want to decide those herself. I'd actually be glad about their commitment to writing her that way, if I didn't understand how much they've let Penelope get away with, and how much other characters in similar positions have to suffer because the same amount of thought is never given to them.

The failplay I did of all three books brought up a couple interesting (but also disheartening) points about how they dealt with Penelope's condition, and how they dealt with difficult situations other characters had to go through (esp Kiara and Hana). At this point Penelope just sounds extremely entitled to good treatment, without wanting to really give back much in return.

• Kiara...well...I love her in this. She was fun, tried new things out, got out of her comfort zone, and she had some marvellous lines in this chapter. I just think it's funny how huge the differences between the way Olivia's feelings are acknowledged regardless vs the way Kiara's can only be acknowledged if it doesn't affect the MC...and it kind of says something about how those feelings are viewed by those writers. Because as a reader who has been following this story thread closesly, I know the writers have either conveniently forgotten - or take very lightly - how shitty Drake has been to her.

• I mean...had it been just about him not being interested, I probably wouldn't have cared much. I would have either turned to fanfic to change that around a bit, that's something you can always do for a pair you want to see but know you can't in canon. But realizing that the man could openly suspect a woman he knew was stabbed at the same event he was shot, optionally pander to the MC's whims and dismiss what she was going through in the process, and to not feel any fucking remorse for it...I mean, Kiara doesn't deserve better just because Drake doesn't isn't interested in her - because no one should have to be obligated to show interest for another person...Kiara deserves better because this man has done very little for her in their few exchanges (esp Book 3) besides ridicule, mock, act rudely and unfairly to her, and finally getting away with the worst possible behaviour without any consequence (some of it is optional, but the suspicion was definitely default). And I know the writing will never admit that because Drake is their golden boy.

• Madeleine causes minimal damage this time and Hana totally owned her a couple times today...so I'm kinda happy with that. At least they made sure never to bring back any hints of that story they were planning with her for Hana...if there is one thing I'm only too happy they are retconning, it's that!

• Speaking of Hana - there are maybe a couple of things I'm happy about and a lot that I'm not. I like that that she can throw shade (though I wish to God they would have let her do it much earlier) at Madeleine, and my favourite bits involve Hana not allowing that woman to get away with shit that she never allowed other people to get away with when she was in power.

But there's also the fact that she's pretty much treated like the least important person in that room? Like I would have personally loved to see her be asked a cute fun question. I mean, by now both Liam and Drake have gotten individual character scenes, and I only get to see Hana in the context of a group scene with the ladies where she is mostly helping the others? I loved that we got the barn scene afterwards...but let's be honest the barn scene was mostly about the sex.

I honestly just found it weird that the one chapter with (optionally) no men in it still couldn't have some focus on her, or much effort put into her. Is asking for more than scraps for her, too much to ask for? (I feel like the answer to that would be yes).

• Olivia is upto something, and the livestream apparently hinted at her being important to the story. I mean what's new about that? Olivia is a favourite of the writers and they will continue to favour her while Hana is still relegated to the sidelines (and so will a huge chunk of this fandom). No lie, I really like Olivia, but why the heck aren't you giving the lone female LI that much attention?

• I also wonder how much of her mysterious work has to do with the reading up she was telling us about in the last book's epilogue.

• Queen Amalas...I still don't know what to make of her - she's a pretty interesting mix of intrigue and invasiveness I think. She's flirty and teasing, but the way she slipped in those tidbits about our past definitely raised my hackles a little bit. Could be a red herring...could be more. Who knows.

• The Olivia and Madeleine dynamics were great...Kiara is still an awesome, encouraging friend to Penelope, but for me the highlight was Hana and Kiara's bonding (that exchange about hats definitely was a winner).

(Is part of my joy because I ship them? Yes. Yes it is. You can pry that ship outta my cold dead hands PB!)

• The barn scene was lovely: it was nice that the couples got to explore their more adventurous/homely sides in the first half of the scene, and were able to go completely wild for the second half of it. I think it's nice we got to see what they'd mostly like to experiment with in bed from time to time.

• I guess that's all for this chapter. Texas might possibly take a week or two more? Idk. Let's see. Rescuing the ranch may take a chapter, and so will the wedding...there may be one in between probably to figure out BertVannah's relationship but I'm not going to spend diamonds to make them talk to each other, no.

• I kinda like the subtle shift to childhood experiences to certain scenes in this book, because it gives the MC who doesn't know what the place is like for a child an idea of what the others had to grow up with...and therefore how she may need to approach her parenting. A number of the group scenes in this half of the book have had to do with childhood experiences the royals and nobles may have missed out on (pets, sleepovers) and the return-to-childhood narrative is a smart way to deal with that, I think.

• That's it for this chapter, guys! See you on Friday (hopefully) with a Book 1 QT, and next week with the next chapter!

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #hana lee #olivia nevrakis #trr kiara #trr penelope #trr madeleine #savannah walker #king liam #maxwell beaumont #drake walker #bertrand beaumont

[50shadesofmittens]

Princess Bride AU

Last list of ideas I finally put down through conversations with the wonderful @coaxionunlimited​

The Princess Bride AU

And Oh GOD this one isn’t even all the details, nor is it in any order so much as a bunch of ideas slapped together

To start I cannot imagine it any way except with Cato Sicarius as Vizzini- more versatile roles include Magnus as Buttercup, CG as Westley and Tzeentch as Humperdink

And yes Cato Sicarius as Vizzini is indeed more important than the roles of our main leads

Part of what makes this idea so much fun is that CG has to find unique creative ways to overcome all the challenges Westley faces- he can’t exactly find a poison that Sicarius’ OP-ness won’t be immune to if he’s also going to be immune

Yes, even promethium-based alcohol won’t cut it

I feel like the only way to beat Sicarius is to do something similar to what Westley did by letting Sicarius’ enthusiasm get him killed

Somehow leading him into a trap

My best guess so far is CG brings up that he once defeated a literal god in contest of Vostroyan-whatever and uses misspoken words to trick Sicarius into thinking the goal of the game is to get to Ultramar- Sicarius would them go to ultramar ASAP before the card game even starts

And Sicarius somehow warps himself there and is this unaware that the challenge hasn’t started, a full galaxy away from where CG and Magnus (in the Box still of course) were left behind

(Alternatively, the deception can be unintentional, as CG genuinely thought that the best way to respond to Sicarius’ long list of achievements was to list a few of his own achievements, which prompted Sicarius to demand to know HOW CG bested a god so he could prove himself by doing the same, and then Sicarius jumped to his own conclusions and portaled to Ultramar while CG was still trying to explain Vostroyan-whatever)

Then Sicarius would probably go brag about winning the contest, which would lead to Calgar learning and being pissed off that Sicarius forgot to bring the Primarch along

By which time CG and Magnus are well into the forest of death if not captured/recaptured by Tzeentch

Despite these roles I imagine Tzeentch as the one screeching Inconcievable! When CG turns out to be alive (again) after torture-death

Instead of a wheelbarrow being what gets them into the castle/into Tzeentch’s realm’s inner sanctum, it’s a camel

This is in a reference to the scene when Westley is just revived when he’s coming up with a plan to get into the castle. First he says it’s impossible, then when he finds out they have access to a wheelbarrow he has a plan (the wheelbarrow being the critical piece), ie this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeO3jMZphhs

Once Magnus realizes it was CG who he just pushed down a ravine/banished to another dimension/etc he just says “oh shit” before jumping in after

In reference to the ravine/recognition scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzO-sv0mtZ4

My version of the rescue would have less CG lying and more him having found a really really really good psyker scrambler/blocker and being shocked that it works well enough to confuse Magnus, not realizing that Magnus doesn't know who he is until after some hilarious miscommunication

Honestly? I keep seeing Vulcan as Fezzik and Corvus as Inigo

Just based on their personalities

The bit where Inigo gets all drunk and depressed and shouting for his ex-employer to come find him and beating the guards sent to harass him senseless like I can 100% imagine Corvus doing just that

Also Fezzik’s General love of rhymes, and his all around gentle kindness while still not being Soft but also being huge is very Vulcan

And when Fezzik is tending to Inigo by dumbing him in water, imagine Vulcan bringing out a few buckets of lava and Corvus flings himself away screaming “I’m up! I’m up!”

Yes this means Sicarius acted like he was the boss when traveling with two Primarchs because you KNOW he would

Which makes Fucking Horus the six fingered man (who killed Corvus’ father)

And Vulcan's father, but Corvus is the one who’s laser-focused on revenge and has the whole speech planned out

Also in the style of the book (the Princess Bride was a book before it was a movie), I want to go through all the people who were the most beautiful human in the galaxy before Magnus and what happened to them to make them lose their status

In order: the Emperor (died), Sanguinius (died too), Fulgrim (too much drugs & partying with Slaanesh), ANGRON (got daemonified), and a handful of random humans whose lifespans were mortal and thus have died over the centuries naturally

Also I don’t want to spoil the Princess Bride for anyone, but the method Westley uses to defeat Humperdink is very similar to the one I see CG using to finally get Tzeentch off his and Magnus’ backs

Also for Miracle Max I cant help but envision Cegoratch as Max and Ephrael Stern as Max’s wife

That pairing changes the entire tone of all their scenes, but it’s hilarious in its own way so I want to do it

For reference on miracle max and his wife: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4ftmOI5NnI

Stern is completely deadpan in her delivery. “I smelled deception, so I came out to see if some of the wretches of the fallen sorcerous legion required more destruction to their dust-coated wretches and annoying hats in order to flee. But I see it’s just my husband, making an ass of himself again. Though not unexpected, such a sight is still disappointing.”

*Nervous laughter* “Ah, all guests are reminded that it is none of their business what-”

“One cannot be a guest when one has wed the owner of the property.”

And later when Corvus asks how Stern can be a warrior of the Emperor when she’s married to a Xeno, she first gives a long speech on what she’s learned about various Xenos races and a full explanation of her reasoning behind thinking that miscegenation is in fact furthering the emperor’s will. When Corvus asks for clarity on her marrying a Xeno God she replies:

“HERETIC! I have done no such thing.”

“But you just said that you two were-”

“The only being I will ever acknowledge as a God is the one and only Emperor of Mankind. As recent reports from the Emperor himself dictate, he is a Manemperor, not a god. Therefore, I am an atheist.”

“But... then... what else do you call your husband? What is he, if not a god?”

“A librarian.”

“He’s bringing back the dead!”

“A librarian with a diverse skill-set. Albeit, one that unfortunately excludes the conception of decent punchlines.”

*Note that Stern started attacking Corvus for that accusation after the first ‘HERETIC’ so there’s also fighting hijinks throughout this dialogue*

Now I have a new crack pairing and it’s Ephrael/Cegoratch

Oh and Magnus does find some Primarch-level poison made from Perturabo’s geneseed, which he’s fiddling with when CG makes his dramatic entrance (in reference to the scene where Buttercup is about to stab herself on her wedding night before Westley interrupts)

Granted Magnus’ motives are less loss of true love and more despair after Tzeentch has destroyed any chance of him getting free, and recognizing that any hope he has of getting free is just giving Tzeentch more ways to control him

I feel that the gatekeeper who Fezzik, Inigo and Westley intimidate while storming the castle could be Karstodes. IDK why he’s on team Chaos now, I just love his style of badly trying to lie

Whatever the equivalent of the Rodent of Unusual Size is, Magnus is the one who kills it

#fic ideas #princess bride au #Mittens #crack pairings #help I have a new crack pairing what do #tts

[jonsafan-blog]

Bran, the future, and wedding dresses

This post has potential spoilers.

There has been a running headcanon in the GOT community that Bran might be able to see the future. It’s never been confirmed, so it’s only been a tentative theory.

One aspect the jonsa fandom has explored is that when Bran told Sansa she looked pretty in her white wedding dress, he was not actually referring to her second wedding to Ramsay, but a future wedding. His comments to Sansa were so rude in contrast to what she suffered (and what he knew she suffered) that it seemed out of place, even for his muted self.

But he specifically said he saw the past and the present, but that it was all in fragments and he needed to learn to see better. However, we know from experience that Bran has seen visions of the future before, famously his vision (unseen, but mentioned) of the sea coming to Winterfell. That came true. He didn’t realize at the time what he was seeing.

Bran can see the future, he just doesn’t realize he can see the future. He is the three-eyed raven because each eye represents the past, the present, or the future.

You know the stunning thing about what Bran said?

He doesn’t clarify where the wedding happen. When he says it, Sansa is reminded of her second wedding and is horrified... walking away. but Bran only said he saw her in her white wedding dress, that it was snowing, and she was beautiful.

There is not a single line indicating where it happens. We as an audience just assumed it was the Godswood with Ramsay.

This speculation was honestly more fandom-hope than expectation, but I think we have reason to suspect he does see the future...

Because Sansa has another wedding dress coming up.

There has been some chatter that these are just artist mockups, but it is interesting that they chose white dresses related to Sansa for the premiere party. This one in particular is on display with clear indications of Sansa-related glory.

First, there is the obvious lemoncake background that reminds one of a wedding feast. They are a food eaten in social gatherings by women of the nobility... meaning it is likely a treat for special occasions - like a wedding.

Feathers are also a running motif for Sansa, as well as that weird circle thingy. However, what is especially interesting about this dress is that she no longer has a needle. In fact, this entire dress spells festivity, not the reserve of her Alayne dress nor the cloaked nature of her second wedding dress. There is just a lot of peace with this dress, and she no longer has the needle.

There are two more dresses on display, but this dress appears to be the UBER dress, and I can’t help but think of the wedding dresses they put on display for Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, both famous dresses.

Here is the second wedding-like dress:

This is an interesting dress because it is more restrained than the others. While it reminds me of Sansa, I can’t imagine Sansa would wear it (though I could see her sewing it).

There is a particular dress I am reminded of though when looking at this dress... and it’s the other dress. The dress we forget was worn but was part of one of the best scenes in GOT. The Pink Bear Dress:

Think I’m joking? Go look at the detail around the waist, and at the simplicity of the hem on the white dress and compare it to the image below.

The waist belt actually seems like a very Brienne accent:

My point is that the second wedding dress appears plain because it is meant for a bride who doesn’t care so much for finery, while the first dress definitely looks like a dress meant for a lady of the highest order... and it can only be Sansa. It is not a Daenerys dress nor a Cersei dress. There is no equal.

We spend so much time thinking... three random artist mock-up dresses for weddings? What if it is not three random mockups... but three mockups of three future weddings?

So whose dress is the third one I mentioned?

The confusing one.

Until you realize where I’m going with this:

When you look at that dress... who do you think of?

Arya.

You are supposed to think Arya.

I don’t know if these will be their actual wedding dresses, but if you put each dress to the correct character, the pieces start pulling together.

We know that Sophie seems happy with the ending and was apparently the first cast member to get back to the writers about the ending. There was also a recent interview with Gwendoline Christie and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau which possibly contains a major spoiler... because Nikolaj all but admitted Gwendoline messed up.

We know that Nikolaj isn’t a big fan of Daenerys and seems pleased with the ending. He is also a big fan of the dynamic of Brienne and Jaime.

In this interview, Gwendoline wishes they can have another show twenty years from now so they can all have jobs again.

They have some oh shit looks after that. AND WHAT DOES NIKOLAJ SAY? “THAT WAS A SPOILER!”

When she says this, Nikolaj looks a little surprised... because Gwendoline spoiled that there would be essentially a happy ending, and that Brienne and Jaime are going to make it.

I know. I thought he was going to die too.

But I really think these wedding dresses are meant to represent the future of Westeros in three major character pairings: Jon/Sansa, Brienne/Jaime, and Arya/Gendry.

It just makes sense.

#jon snow #sansa stark #jonsa

[cheelchan]

reality is harsh (M)

rating: M genre/warning: smut, slight daddy kink, swearing word count: 1.4k pairing: Namjoon x reader summary: “because reality is a bitch.”

You felt a chill behind your spine, feeling someone’s gaze upon you. For some reason, it suddenly felt like you were going to get devoured anytime if he wished to. You turned around and spotted whose eyes were staring at you. It was as if those eyes were actually undressing you to the least amount of clothes possible up to the point that there was actually none. You tried to play it off, deciding to take a sip from your champagne.

Maybe, it was just the alcohol speaking. There shouldn’t be anyone who should actually make you feel this way at the moment. You were invited to a party celebrating your childhood friend’s wedding to someone you only had the chance to meet once. And in fact, it was by chance that you were invited, considering that you saw them by accident while you were out eating in a restaurant in town. Anyhow, aside from the bride, the other people you knew at the celebration were people you considered as family or married. Thus, aside from the bride’s side, you knew nobody else.

You were seated by the bar since you didn’t want to partake in the festive activities like your other friends. They were probably dancing with their spouses with the newly-wedded couple, after all. Plus, what sucked more was the fact that while weddings were celebrations of love, they were also a constant reminder that you were going to be alone for the rest of your life. You sighed, taking another sip from your champagne, wondering if you should go for the harder drinks instead.

“One whiskey on the rocks,” you said, turning to the bartender.

“Make that two,” a low, sultry voice said behind you, making you turn away from the bartender. You recognized him as one of the groomsmen, the childhood friend of the groom who apparently was also a famous rapper from an idol group. “Is this seat taken?” He asked, motioning towards the seat beside you.

You shook your head, knowing that there was nothing wrong with talking to someone. Besides, the night was still pretty long.

“You’re not taking part in there?” He asked, referring to what was taking place in the dance floor. You didn’t need to turn around to see what he was referring to. After all, that was the reason why you decided to stand up from your seat and head to the bar.

“You aren’t?” You returned the question to him as he smirked, realizing that you didn’t want to answer his question.

“I’m not really a dancer, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” you smiled against your glass of whiskey before you took another sip.

“But, I can dance well in bed, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he said as you choked on your drink before he laughed at your misery and patting you lightly on your back. You regained your posture as you glared at him, but he was just smirking, making you realize that maybe, there was one pair of eyes who could actually do the things you denied earlier.

You decided to humor the idea as the two of you continued to talk the entire night. You learned that his name was Namjoon and that he made some of the songs that they perform as a group. Unlike the groom who turned out to be a doctor, Namjoon always wanted to be a rapper since he was young, even if he ranked higher than most of his classmates in high school. You noted, too, that the way he carried himself was very dignified and that he was definitely proud of the work that he made. However, at the same time, you didn’t fail to notice the way his hand were resting on your thigh, trailing higher as time passed by. You didn’t seem to mind, anyway.

The two of you were on your third round of whiskey when you heard him whisper against your ears. “My place is nearby. Do you want to visit my place?”

You turned to him, a tantalizing look present on his face, tempting you to not say no. But, you know deep down yourself that you didn’t need any tempting from him because you would’ve done it yourself if he didn’t beat you first.

“Shall we?” You returned the question to him as he smirked and stood up from the bar, telling the bartender to charge it on the groom’s tab. You laughed over what he did.

“What? The groom owes me quite a lot, you know. The two of us have been thick and thin back when we were kids.”

You nodded at his petty excuse as your heart skipped a beat on the way he grabbed your wrist all the way outside to the reception. The two of you rode a taxi since the two of you were feeling the effects of the whiskey that you downed earlier, but you could see the fire on his eyes, waiting to undress you out of your red dress and take you right there and then. However, he constantly reminded himself that he was a public figure and that his group couldn’t afford the scandal that it would tantamount to.

“This is my place,” he said as you entered his apartment, taking in the apartment that seemed pretty big for one person. “I share this with the other boys, actually, but they’re all away for the holidays. So, nobody would disturbing us tonight, babe,” he scooted near you, just enough so you can feel his breath against your ear.

“So, am I a baby now?” You asked him, a teasing grin at the last part.

“Only if you call me daddy.”

You gasped as he pulled you towards him, crashing his lips against yours, while you immediately reciprocated his actions. His lips were soft, an exact opposite to the way he kissed - hard and heavy. Every swipe of his tongue against yours made you feel lighter, even if you know that the effect of the whiskey you drank earlier was already gone by the time you reached his apartment. You pulled him closer against you as you wrapped your arms around his neck, eagerly returning the kisses he gave you.

You could feel warmth pooling around you abdomen as you felt his hand slide down on your chest, grabbing on to your right breast, making you moan from the sensation. “N-Namjoon,” you moaned his name as he smirked against your neck before sucking on a sensitive portion.

“Yes, baby?”

“I need you now,” you moaned out loud as he continued to massage your breasts through your red dress. You were simply wearing bra pads, since a bra would definitely show through your backless red dress.

“Of course, you decided to forego a bra tonight, huh? Were you expecting to get a fuck tonight?” He teased you as you moaned his name out loud, your eyes clenching as you felt the euphoria from the way his lips were sucking on your neck.

“Let’s go to your room,” you told him as he took a final lick on your neck.

“M-My room?”

You nodded as he lifted you, wrapping your legs around his waist, shaking his head. You could feel his hardness pressing against your core. “Why not here, baby girl? I’m so hard that I just want to take you right here and then,” he murmured against you as you shook your head.

“Bed, Namjoon,” you insisted.

Namjoon gave in as he carried you to his room, your legs still wrapped around his waist. However, you couldn’t see a single thing in his room as he decided not to turn on the lights, but you didn’t mind since his lips were once again on yours, kissing you more fervently and deeply, his tongue swirling against yours.

"Take it off," he murmured in between kisses, motioning to your red dress as you started to take it off slowly, deciding to tease him in the process. He chuckled sultrily before he pushed you on his bed, making you gasp in surprise.

However, you didn’t gasp because you were caught off guard. You gasped because as you landed on his bed, you felt something behind your back. You decided to get whatever it was behind you as you saw the embarrassed look on Namjoon’s face.

It was a Ryan plushie.

#bangtanwriters-net #bts writing squad #kwritersnet #bts fic #bts drabble #bts smut #bts comedy #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon parody #bts parody #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon scenario

[wtffundiefamilies]

@redwhirlwind89

Bet she's texting Austin, just like Jinger texted at the rudest times and got away with it because apparently getting a boyfriend automatically disabled all of your empathy and social cues.

And when you land a man you no longer have to do any household chores because you’re too busy thinking about him!  Not that I’m not glad the girls are cut loose from their servitude, but the notion of “Well, you have a man so your life is complete now, he is now the focus of EVERYTHING you think and do!” is so gross.  No need to pretend to be interested in your sister’s wedding once you have a man - she’ll understand that he’s the only thing you can focus on now! 

standupandsayow

Josh was there and would have done it again, too, had he not been outcast for the brute he is.

I hope he was impotently furious the entire time Anna was near Hot Groomsman.  

        @redwhirlwind89

And why would anyone WANT to copy something Josh did? I swear Derick has been stepping up like whoa lately to be the new jerk male Duggar, now that Josh is in exile and Ben has been outed as gay af for Flame..

     Ugh, so true.  Mrs. WTF was just saying the other day that Jeremy actually seems okay/not too controlling/etc, and I just kept saying “Yeah, but we said all this about Derick.”  God let this one be okay because I have no hope at all for Austin.

@halo-noel

We all know Jill tries to bring everything back to her. She can’t let someone have the spotlight for two seconds

Now that you put it that way, I wouldn’t be shocked if she were the one who planned that movie.  I’m sure both of them just loved the idea no matter whose it was.

@redwhirlwind89

Ugh, the smooch was just as bad as all the others. I was hoping because there was no way Jeremy was a virgin that he'd. you know, not suck at it.

I didn’t think it was all that awkward compared to the others.  I mean, after Josh and Gayvid my standards might be super-low at this point.  He didn’t try to vacuum her face into his mouth so I’ll call it a success.

@nothingelsemakessense

So this means that Michelle contributed nothing to their marriage and therefore it doesn't have to be anything like hers, right?

:O OH MY GOD QUICK SOMEONE TELL JINGER.  Seriously, good catch.

@redwhirlwind89

I have to be honest, I would've smacked him if he told my groom during our vows A- to love me like a servant, and B- that I'm going to be very hard to love sometimes. Way to imply that marriage is a chore, Daddy-O. Then again, it's pretty much a trade agreement with this crowd. Lucky he didn't tell Jeremy to love her like a goat in estrus.

Ha!  I took it as Chucknuts saying “Love her as though you are here to serve her,” but maybe I’m giving him too much credit.  And the emphasis ALL of them put on “Remember to love each other when you can’t stand each other” makes me wonder what fundie marriages are like behind closed doors.  (I mean, it’s important for sure, because those days do happen and you need to be aware of it, but why constantly put it IN THE VOWS?!  I laughed for days when Jessa mentioned the times she would be disappointed in Ben in the vows she’d written.)

@happymealwithlegs

Does he also say it's a moo point? Please say yes.

...I just realized how many opportunities I missed to use this when Michelle was blathering about what SHE wanted out of Jinger’s wedding day.  Goddammit. 

      @redwhirlwind89

I hated this speech. "Their love was like...he looked at her and liked her. And she looked at him too. And then he, like, loved her, and she, like, loved him and stuff. Whoa..." A regular Lin Manuel Miranda, this guy.

Yeah, I wasn’t terribly impressed.  You’d think his speech wouldn’t sound so generic at his own son’s wedding, and we can all see where Jeremy gets his great eloquence.  (+1 for the LMM reference.  I bet he wrote his own vows and they were AMAZING.)

@redwhirlwind89

Couldn't they find someone outside the family...isn't the whole point of counseling to feel free to speak openly because the person you're venting to is a neutral third party? "Yeah Dad, I'm totally a virgin."

     Yeah, I feel like counseling doesn’t work as well if you’re both desperate to make a good impression on him because he’ll be an immediate and permanent part of your lives.

@nothingelsemakessense

In my experience the ushers are generally all males who are important to the bride (such as her brothers) but not close enough to the groom to be a groomsman. In the last three conservative Christian weddings I've been involved in at least one of the groom's grandparents was escorted by the bride's brother.

Makes sense!  For some reason I thought ushers were the groom’s choice.

#counting on: jinger's wedding #jill and jessa: counting on #2016 #Jinger Duggar #Jeremy Vuolo #Chuck Vuolo #Jill Duggar Dillard #Derick Dillard #Michelle Duggar #Joy Anna Duggar #'well behaved children' my ass #duggar family #dillard family #vuolo family #courtship #jender roles #Austin Forsyth

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/02/17/bbc-keep-sex-abuse-dads-name-off-my-wedding-certificate-10/

BBC: 'Keep sex abuse dad's name off my wedding certificate'

If Jenny ever gets married, there will be no dad walking her down the aisle and, if she gets her way, no mention of him on her marriage certificate either.

This is because, according to the twenty-something professional, the man who sexually abused her for 18 months from the age of seven “lost any right to be called my father”.

Despite his horrific betrayal of the relationship between father and daughter, under current law it is only his name and occupation that can be recorded on her future marriage certificate – not that of her mother “who has been mum and dad all wrapped up in one”.

This system, of recording only the names of the father of the bride and groom on the certificate, dates back to the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign.

It is an issue that has provoked anger among MPs from all parties, who have spent several years attempting to bring about a change in the law to allow both parents to have their names and occupations recorded.

Image copyright Getty Images

Their campaign was given a boost when a petition on Change.org, calling for mothers’ names to be added to marriage certificates, collected 70,600 signatures in January 2014. The petition said “marriage should not be seen as a business transaction between the father of the bride and the father of the groom”.

Former Prime Minister David Cameron said later that year that he would address this “inequality in marriage”, adding that the exclusion of mothers’ names from marriage registers in England and Wales did “not reflect modern Britain”.

Mr Cameron was gone from Downing Street before any action was taken and it now seems that Conservative MP Edward Argar’s Registration of Marriage Bill is the most likely vehicle to overturn the law.

A brief history of marriage:

Marriage Act of 1836 – allowed non-conformists and Catholics to be married in their own places of worship

Ages of Marriage Act 1929 – Parliament raised the age limit to 16 for both sexes

Civil Partnership Act 2004 – granted civil partnerships to same-sex couples in the UK with rights and responsibilities identical to civil marriage

Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 – introduced civil marriage for same-sex couples in England and Wales

There were 240,854 marriages in 2013, a decrease of 8.6% compared with 2012 and the first decline since 2009

The average age for a first marriage was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women in 2013

His bill, which would update the Marriage Act of 1949, would move the solely paper-based system to a central electronic register online, which would allow the mother’s name to be included.

It would also bring England and Wales into line with the rest of the UK. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, couples are asked to give the names of both parents on marriage documentation. The same applies for those entering a civil partnership.

Similar attempts by Labour and Conservative MPs to change the law fell in 2015 after failing to get ministers’ support. Labour frontbencher Christina Rees’ private member’s bill focused on the narrow point about putting the mother on the certificate. Former Conservative cabinet minister Dame Caroline Spelman’s bill wanted marriages listed in a single electronic register instead of in marriage register books.

Former home office minister Richard Harrington said at the time “a combination” of the two bills “could deal with things quickly”.

Unlike his predecessors’, Mr Argar’s bill – which is more like Dame Caroline’s attempt – has succeeded in getting government backing because it will create a more secure system for keeping marriage records.

“The whole point of this bill is the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom will be registered,” said the Charnwood MP. “In the great scheme of things it’s a minor change, but it’s symbolically very important for a large number of people who want a recognition of the role their mother played in their upbringing.”

Image copyright Conservative Party

Image caption Mr Argar hopes for a change in the law by the summer

He added: “It will also give victims of abuse, children of single mothers or errant fathers, the choice over whether to include their mother’s names and not their father’s.

“You will see virtually no outward change in the form of the marriage ceremony, just in the manner that things are recorded. By moving to an online schedule system, we can easily amend the paper documentation – and it’s more secure because it doesn’t rely on the old parish register that is at risk of theft from the village church.

“The church is supportive of the move, and over time it will save the taxpayer millions of pounds in administrative costs.”

The bill is set to return to the Commons for its detailed committee stage after the half-term recess, and Mr Argar is hopeful it will receive Royal Assent – and so become law – by the summer.

A spokesman for the Home Office said it wanted to see mothers’ names recorded on marriage certificates “as soon as possible”.

Mum’s done everything

For Jenny, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, the law change cannot come soon enough.

“My dad’s a rapist and he abused me and my sisters, so I never want any reference to him appearing on anything about my future,” she said. “He has no right to that – he lost that right many years ago.

“I was only seven when the attacks started, and my siblings were much younger. It ended after I told my mother when I was eight and a half.

“I’ve tried to block out what he did to me.

“I have a partner and I’m sure we will get married eventually, but I don’t want my father involved in any way. I’d only want my mum’s name on the marriage certificate because as far as I’m concerned she’s done everything for us.”

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/02/17/bbc-keep-sex-abuse-dads-name-off-my-wedding-certificate-9/

BBC: 'Keep sex abuse dad's name off my wedding certificate'

If Jenny ever gets married, there will be no dad walking her down the aisle and, if she gets her way, no mention of him on her marriage certificate either.

This is because, according to the twenty-something professional, the man who sexually abused her for 18 months from the age of seven “lost any right to be called my father”.

Despite his horrific betrayal of the relationship between father and daughter, under current law it is only his name and occupation that can be recorded on her future marriage certificate – not that of her mother “who has been mum and dad all wrapped up in one”.

This system, of recording only the names of the father of the bride and groom on the certificate, dates back to the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign.

It is an issue that has provoked anger among MPs from all parties, who have spent several years attempting to bring about a change in the law to allow both parents to have their names and occupations recorded.

Image copyright Getty Images

Their campaign was given a boost when a petition on Change.org, calling for mothers’ names to be added to marriage certificates, collected 70,600 signatures in January 2014. The petition said “marriage should not be seen as a business transaction between the father of the bride and the father of the groom”.

Former Prime Minister David Cameron said later that year that he would address this “inequality in marriage”, adding that the exclusion of mothers’ names from marriage registers in England and Wales did “not reflect modern Britain”.

Mr Cameron was gone from Downing Street before any action was taken and it now seems that Conservative MP Edward Argar’s Registration of Marriage Bill is the most likely vehicle to overturn the law.

A brief history of marriage:

Marriage Act of 1836 – allowed non-conformists and Catholics to be married in their own places of worship

Ages of Marriage Act 1929 – Parliament raised the age limit to 16 for both sexes

Civil Partnership Act 2004 – granted civil partnerships to same-sex couples in the UK with rights and responsibilities identical to civil marriage

Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 – introduced civil marriage for same-sex couples in England and Wales

There were 240,854 marriages in 2013, a decrease of 8.6% compared with 2012 and the first decline since 2009

The average age for a first marriage was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women in 2013

His bill, which would update the Marriage Act of 1949, would move the solely paper-based system to a central electronic register online, which would allow the mother’s name to be included.

It would also bring England and Wales into line with the rest of the UK. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, couples are asked to give the names of both parents on marriage documentation. The same applies for those entering a civil partnership.

Similar attempts by Labour and Conservative MPs to change the law fell in 2015 after failing to get ministers’ support. Labour frontbencher Christina Rees’ private member’s bill focused on the narrow point about putting the mother on the certificate. Former Conservative cabinet minister Dame Caroline Spelman’s bill wanted marriages listed in a single electronic register instead of in marriage register books.

Former home office minister Richard Harrington said at the time “a combination” of the two bills “could deal with things quickly”.

Unlike his predecessors’, Mr Argar’s bill – which is more like Dame Caroline’s attempt – has succeeded in getting government backing because it will create a more secure system for keeping marriage records.

“The whole point of this bill is the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom will be registered,” said the Charnwood MP. “In the great scheme of things it’s a minor change, but it’s symbolically very important for a large number of people who want a recognition of the role their mother played in their upbringing.”

Image copyright Conservative Party

Image caption Mr Argar hopes for a change in the law by the summer

He added: “It will also give victims of abuse, children of single mothers or errant fathers, the choice over whether to include their mother’s names and not their father’s.

“You will see virtually no outward change in the form of the marriage ceremony, just in the manner that things are recorded. By moving to an online schedule system, we can easily amend the paper documentation – and it’s more secure because it doesn’t rely on the old parish register that is at risk of theft from the village church.

“The church is supportive of the move, and over time it will save the taxpayer millions of pounds in administrative costs.”

The bill is set to return to the Commons for its detailed committee stage after the half-term recess, and Mr Argar is hopeful it will receive Royal Assent – and so become law – by the summer.

A spokesman for the Home Office said it wanted to see mothers’ names recorded on marriage certificates “as soon as possible”.

Mum’s done everything

For Jenny, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, the law change cannot come soon enough.

“My dad’s a rapist and he abused me and my sisters, so I never want any reference to him appearing on anything about my future,” she said. “He has no right to that – he lost that right many years ago.

“I was only seven when the attacks started, and my siblings were much younger. It ended after I told my mother when I was eight and a half.

“I’ve tried to block out what he did to me.

“I have a partner and I’m sure we will get married eventually, but I don’t want my father involved in any way. I’d only want my mum’s name on the marriage certificate because as far as I’m concerned she’s done everything for us.”

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/02/17/bbc-keep-sex-abuse-dads-name-off-my-wedding-certificate-8/

BBC: 'Keep sex abuse dad's name off my wedding certificate'

If Jenny ever gets married, there will be no dad walking her down the aisle and, if she gets her way, no mention of him on her marriage certificate either.

This is because, according to the twenty-something professional, the man who sexually abused her for 18 months from the age of seven “lost any right to be called my father”.

Despite his horrific betrayal of the relationship between father and daughter, under current law it is only his name and occupation that can be recorded on her future marriage certificate – not that of her mother “who has been mum and dad all wrapped up in one”.

This system, of recording only the names of the father of the bride and groom on the certificate, dates back to the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign.

It is an issue that has provoked anger among MPs from all parties, who have spent several years attempting to bring about a change in the law to allow both parents to have their names and occupations recorded.

Image copyright Getty Images

Their campaign was given a boost when a petition on Change.org, calling for mothers’ names to be added to marriage certificates, collected 70,600 signatures in January 2014. The petition said “marriage should not be seen as a business transaction between the father of the bride and the father of the groom”.

Former Prime Minister David Cameron said later that year that he would address this “inequality in marriage”, adding that the exclusion of mothers’ names from marriage registers in England and Wales did “not reflect modern Britain”.

Mr Cameron was gone from Downing Street before any action was taken and it now seems that Conservative MP Edward Argar’s Registration of Marriage Bill is the most likely vehicle to overturn the law.

A brief history of marriage:

Marriage Act of 1836 – allowed non-conformists and Catholics to be married in their own places of worship

Ages of Marriage Act 1929 – Parliament raised the age limit to 16 for both sexes

Civil Partnership Act 2004 – granted civil partnerships to same-sex couples in the UK with rights and responsibilities identical to civil marriage

Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 – introduced civil marriage for same-sex couples in England and Wales

There were 240,854 marriages in 2013, a decrease of 8.6% compared with 2012 and the first decline since 2009

The average age for a first marriage was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women in 2013

His bill, which would update the Marriage Act of 1949, would move the solely paper-based system to a central electronic register online, which would allow the mother’s name to be included.

It would also bring England and Wales into line with the rest of the UK. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, couples are asked to give the names of both parents on marriage documentation. The same applies for those entering a civil partnership.

Similar attempts by Labour and Conservative MPs to change the law fell in 2015 after failing to get ministers’ support. Labour frontbencher Christina Rees’ private member’s bill focused on the narrow point about putting the mother on the certificate. Former Conservative cabinet minister Dame Caroline Spelman’s bill wanted marriages listed in a single electronic register instead of in marriage register books.

Former home office minister Richard Harrington said at the time “a combination” of the two bills “could deal with things quickly”.

Unlike his predecessors’, Mr Argar’s bill – which is more like Dame Caroline’s attempt – has succeeded in getting government backing because it will create a more secure system for keeping marriage records.

“The whole point of this bill is the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom will be registered,” said the Charnwood MP. “In the great scheme of things it’s a minor change, but it’s symbolically very important for a large number of people who want a recognition of the role their mother played in their upbringing.”

Image copyright Conservative Party

Image caption Mr Argar hopes for a change in the law by the summer

He added: “It will also give victims of abuse, children of single mothers or errant fathers, the choice over whether to include their mother’s names and not their father’s.

“You will see virtually no outward change in the form of the marriage ceremony, just in the manner that things are recorded. By moving to an online schedule system, we can easily amend the paper documentation – and it’s more secure because it doesn’t rely on the old parish register that is at risk of theft from the village church.

“The church is supportive of the move, and over time it will save the taxpayer millions of pounds in administrative costs.”

The bill is set to return to the Commons for its detailed committee stage after the half-term recess, and Mr Argar is hopeful it will receive Royal Assent – and so become law – by the summer.

A spokesman for the Home Office said it wanted to see mothers’ names recorded on marriage certificates “as soon as possible”.

Mum’s done everything

For Jenny, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, the law change cannot come soon enough.

“My dad’s a rapist and he abused me and my sisters, so I never want any reference to him appearing on anything about my future,” she said. “He has no right to that – he lost that right many years ago.

“I was only seven when the attacks started, and my siblings were much younger. It ended after I told my mother when I was eight and a half.

“I’ve tried to block out what he did to me.

“I have a partner and I’m sure we will get married eventually, but I don’t want my father involved in any way. I’d only want my mum’s name on the marriage certificate because as far as I’m concerned she’s done everything for us.”

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/02/17/bbc-keep-sex-abuse-dads-name-off-my-wedding-certificate-7/

BBC: 'Keep sex abuse dad's name off my wedding certificate'

If Jenny ever gets married, there will be no dad walking her down the aisle and, if she gets her way, no mention of him on her marriage certificate either.

This is because, according to the twenty-something professional, the man who sexually abused her for 18 months from the age of seven “lost any right to be called my father”.

Despite his horrific betrayal of the relationship between father and daughter, under current law it is only his name and occupation that can be recorded on her future marriage certificate – not that of her mother “who has been mum and dad all wrapped up in one”.

This system, of recording only the names of the father of the bride and groom on the certificate, dates back to the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign.

It is an issue that has provoked anger among MPs from all parties, who have spent several years attempting to bring about a change in the law to allow both parents to have their names and occupations recorded.

Image copyright Getty Images

Their campaign was given a boost when a petition on Change.org, calling for mothers’ names to be added to marriage certificates, collected 70,600 signatures in January 2014. The petition said “marriage should not be seen as a business transaction between the father of the bride and the father of the groom”.

Former Prime Minister David Cameron said later that year that he would address this “inequality in marriage”, adding that the exclusion of mothers’ names from marriage registers in England and Wales did “not reflect modern Britain”.

Mr Cameron was gone from Downing Street before any action was taken and it now seems that Conservative MP Edward Argar’s Registration of Marriage Bill is the most likely vehicle to overturn the law.

A brief history of marriage:

Marriage Act of 1836 – allowed non-conformists and Catholics to be married in their own places of worship

Ages of Marriage Act 1929 – Parliament raised the age limit to 16 for both sexes

Civil Partnership Act 2004 – granted civil partnerships to same-sex couples in the UK with rights and responsibilities identical to civil marriage

Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 – introduced civil marriage for same-sex couples in England and Wales

There were 240,854 marriages in 2013, a decrease of 8.6% compared with 2012 and the first decline since 2009

The average age for a first marriage was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women in 2013

His bill, which would update the Marriage Act of 1949, would move the solely paper-based system to a central electronic register online, which would allow the mother’s name to be included.

It would also bring England and Wales into line with the rest of the UK. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, couples are asked to give the names of both parents on marriage documentation. The same applies for those entering a civil partnership.

Similar attempts by Labour and Conservative MPs to change the law fell in 2015 after failing to get ministers’ support. Labour frontbencher Christina Rees’ private member’s bill focused on the narrow point about putting the mother on the certificate. Former Conservative cabinet minister Dame Caroline Spelman’s bill wanted marriages listed in a single electronic register instead of in marriage register books.

Former home office minister Richard Harrington said at the time “a combination” of the two bills “could deal with things quickly”.

Unlike his predecessors’, Mr Argar’s bill – which is more like Dame Caroline’s attempt – has succeeded in getting government backing because it will create a more secure system for keeping marriage records.

“The whole point of this bill is the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom will be registered,” said the Charnwood MP. “In the great scheme of things it’s a minor change, but it’s symbolically very important for a large number of people who want a recognition of the role their mother played in their upbringing.”

Image copyright Conservative Party

Image caption Mr Argar hopes for a change in the law by the summer

He added: “It will also give victims of abuse, children of single mothers or errant fathers, the choice over whether to include their mother’s names and not their father’s.

“You will see virtually no outward change in the form of the marriage ceremony, just in the manner that things are recorded. By moving to an online schedule system, we can easily amend the paper documentation – and it’s more secure because it doesn’t rely on the old parish register that is at risk of theft from the village church.

“The church is supportive of the move, and over time it will save the taxpayer millions of pounds in administrative costs.”

The bill is set to return to the Commons for its detailed committee stage after the half-term recess, and Mr Argar is hopeful it will receive Royal Assent – and so become law – by the summer.

A spokesman for the Home Office said it wanted to see mothers’ names recorded on marriage certificates “as soon as possible”.

Mum’s done everything

For Jenny, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, the law change cannot come soon enough.

“My dad’s a rapist and he abused me and my sisters, so I never want any reference to him appearing on anything about my future,” she said. “He has no right to that – he lost that right many years ago.

“I was only seven when the attacks started, and my siblings were much younger. It ended after I told my mother when I was eight and a half.

“I’ve tried to block out what he did to me.

“I have a partner and I’m sure we will get married eventually, but I don’t want my father involved in any way. I’d only want my mum’s name on the marriage certificate because as far as I’m concerned she’s done everything for us.”

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/02/17/bbc-keep-sex-abuse-dads-name-off-my-wedding-certificate-6/

BBC: 'Keep sex abuse dad's name off my wedding certificate'

If Jenny ever gets married, there will be no dad walking her down the aisle and, if she gets her way, no mention of him on her marriage certificate either.

This is because, according to the twenty-something professional, the man who sexually abused her for 18 months from the age of seven “lost any right to be called my father”.

Despite his horrific betrayal of the relationship between father and daughter, under current law it is only his name and occupation that can be recorded on her future marriage certificate – not that of her mother “who has been mum and dad all wrapped up in one”.

This system, of recording only the names of the father of the bride and groom on the certificate, dates back to the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign.

It is an issue that has provoked anger among MPs from all parties, who have spent several years attempting to bring about a change in the law to allow both parents to have their names and occupations recorded.

Image copyright Getty Images

Their campaign was given a boost when a petition on Change.org, calling for mothers’ names to be added to marriage certificates, collected 70,600 signatures in January 2014. The petition said “marriage should not be seen as a business transaction between the father of the bride and the father of the groom”.

Former Prime Minister David Cameron said later that year that he would address this “inequality in marriage”, adding that the exclusion of mothers’ names from marriage registers in England and Wales did “not reflect modern Britain”.

Mr Cameron was gone from Downing Street before any action was taken and it now seems that Conservative MP Edward Argar’s Registration of Marriage Bill is the most likely vehicle to overturn the law.

A brief history of marriage:

Marriage Act of 1836 – allowed non-conformists and Catholics to be married in their own places of worship

Ages of Marriage Act 1929 – Parliament raised the age limit to 16 for both sexes

Civil Partnership Act 2004 – granted civil partnerships to same-sex couples in the UK with rights and responsibilities identical to civil marriage

Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 – introduced civil marriage for same-sex couples in England and Wales

There were 240,854 marriages in 2013, a decrease of 8.6% compared with 2012 and the first decline since 2009

The average age for a first marriage was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women in 2013

His bill, which would update the Marriage Act of 1949, would move the solely paper-based system to a central electronic register online, which would allow the mother’s name to be included.

It would also bring England and Wales into line with the rest of the UK. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, couples are asked to give the names of both parents on marriage documentation. The same applies for those entering a civil partnership.

Similar attempts by Labour and Conservative MPs to change the law fell in 2015 after failing to get ministers’ support. Labour frontbencher Christina Rees’ private member’s bill focused on the narrow point about putting the mother on the certificate. Former Conservative cabinet minister Dame Caroline Spelman’s bill wanted marriages listed in a single electronic register instead of in marriage register books.

Former home office minister Richard Harrington said at the time “a combination” of the two bills “could deal with things quickly”.

Unlike his predecessors’, Mr Argar’s bill – which is more like Dame Caroline’s attempt – has succeeded in getting government backing because it will create a more secure system for keeping marriage records.

“The whole point of this bill is the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom will be registered,” said the Charnwood MP. “In the great scheme of things it’s a minor change, but it’s symbolically very important for a large number of people who want a recognition of the role their mother played in their upbringing.”

Image copyright Conservative Party

Image caption Mr Argar hopes for a change in the law by the summer

He added: “It will also give victims of abuse, children of single mothers or errant fathers, the choice over whether to include their mother’s names and not their father’s.

“You will see virtually no outward change in the form of the marriage ceremony, just in the manner that things are recorded. By moving to an online schedule system, we can easily amend the paper documentation – and it’s more secure because it doesn’t rely on the old parish register that is at risk of theft from the village church.

“The church is supportive of the move, and over time it will save the taxpayer millions of pounds in administrative costs.”

The bill is set to return to the Commons for its detailed committee stage after the half-term recess, and Mr Argar is hopeful it will receive Royal Assent – and so become law – by the summer.

A spokesman for the Home Office said it wanted to see mothers’ names recorded on marriage certificates “as soon as possible”.

Mum’s done everything

For Jenny, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, the law change cannot come soon enough.

“My dad’s a rapist and he abused me and my sisters, so I never want any reference to him appearing on anything about my future,” she said. “He has no right to that – he lost that right many years ago.

“I was only seven when the attacks started, and my siblings were much younger. It ended after I told my mother when I was eight and a half.

“I’ve tried to block out what he did to me.

“I have a partner and I’m sure we will get married eventually, but I don’t want my father involved in any way. I’d only want my mum’s name on the marriage certificate because as far as I’m concerned she’s done everything for us.”

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