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#...im kidding
clown-owo · 9 months
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I couldn't get this out of my head
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mamaangiwine · 3 months
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"Somebody needs to do something about Sephora 10-year-olds...these i-pad babies are so rude and don't do what they're told....oh my God, these kids can't read and have no social skills...Ugh, look at these little consumers and their Stanley Cups."
I am, in fact, actively worried for these children and I refuse to hate them for the ways that society, as a whole, has failed them.
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wrishwrosh · 5 months
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one neat bonus of being a picky eater as a child is that adult life is filled with so many beautiful discoveries. have you guys heard about caesar salad? im turning 26 this week
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
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bosspigeon · 9 months
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so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it
so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this
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chase-prairie · 9 months
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Loving reminder from your land history auntie:
North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.
Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.
Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.
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divorcetual · 8 months
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I am actually so serious I think it really messes with a childs creativity and joy to tell them to never make a mary sue OC. Like that unbridaled form of joy where you make a self insert OC who super cool and everyone loves them and they have every superpower in the world SHOULD be something a kid makes, it nourishes their ability to create things for fun and not be stifled by "oh but what if my character is too overpowered and cringey...". whatever
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
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edains · 3 months
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Rick Riordan constantly trashing the movies for not sticking to his books then releasing a show in which he rewrites everything and loses the spirit of the books entirely
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payasita · 11 months
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being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent
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heedra · 9 months
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talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.
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Yall remember how Texas had that "report an abortion" form that they had to take down after a week?
Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.
Comrades. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. You know what to do.
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nova-rpv · 3 months
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death leech shadoo.....
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design by @galaxylover06
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whumpshaped · 5 months
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on the topic of villains redeemed or whatever... i also dislike that whenever a villain joins the good side they suddenly become weak as fuck. KEEP THEM VICIOUS. KEEP THEM SCARY. ALLOW THEM TO BE TERRIFYING AT TIMES SO THE HEROES CAN JUST EXCHANGE LOOKS OF "holy fucking shit i am so glad theyre on our side now"
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If tumblr dies we should all regroup on vivino the wine-rating app. Can follow, can like, can post pictures, can post text. Just mention a Pinot and Chianti for the first few months until we outnumber the genuine wine people
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huskerdust-loover · 3 months
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Okay I've been thinking about this little stupid detail all fucking week.
I love how Husk grabs all four of Angel's hands.
He's just being so sweet and just accepting Angel for all that he is and I'm crying.
BUT THEN IT GETS EVEN CRAZIER CUZ
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Angel literally puts his extra arms away just so that it will be easier for Husk to dance with him 😭😭😭😭😭
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THIS SHIP!! THEY MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!
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