Art piece that came to me in a dream
Grian with the imagery of being forced to the ground his arms and wings in chains
each chain being held by the different people he's loved and hurt
Scars chain is old and worn down, but in the crack are lilacs and poppies pushed in between, trying to mend to chain or break it more who knows, the handle itself is gripped tight, and Scars knuckles are scraped and bruised, but still he holds tight, the chain itself hangs loose, but its cutting into scar, hurting him, its at Grians neck, never to forget what he's done
Mumbos chain is new and shines brightly it holds grians wings down. Mumbo's back is turned away, and his grip on the chain is slipping. Mumbo's hands are clean. Grians wings are torn and frayed feathers falling away
BigB’s chain is one of gold, different from the others, one forged on promises and gifts one formed not on trust or love but on mutual deceit. BigB holds the handle of the chain in the air. It covers Grian's mouth, punishment for the lies he's told
Jimmy and Joel share one chain, which wraps around Grian's legs, not tightly they loosely lay there. They are not new, but they are not damaged Jimmy and Joel's hands hold each other as well the chain is wrapped around their hands as well with no handle to hold
and finally Cleo and Etho hold separate chains, holding his arms tight, the chains link to each other but are still wholly different, a mother and a father protecting their son, Cleo and Etho are linked by a chain too, it feels more light and airy than the rest, but the chain is still there. And Grian is not free
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i've been having more thoughts about c!jimmy, and.
i feel like the part he hates the most, more than dying first, is he never seems to matter until he dies. his death is the catalyst, it kickstarts the ending, it means everything is about to go to chaos. but before that? nothing he does seems important. he never really changes the story.
the thing that bothers him, much more than his curse, is how he's always overshadowed by his teammates. he never has the spotlight, he's nowhere near the main character. he's the comic relief, the group idiot, good for a laugh and not much else.
and he loves his teammates, and he loves the time he spent with them, but he wishes he could be more. he wishes he could affect the story like they do, that he could matter like they do. he wishes they saw him as more. he feels caged, stuck watching them play the game from a tiny window.
he doesn't care if the gas gets him, he just wants to fly free.
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Flower husbands big long over-analysis rant because I'm insane. This is very angsty tbh so no fluff here, even though in my heart they are the softest and most in love couple ever, that's still true they just also happened to go through death games so-
Overall
They make me miserable knowing they’ll never get to be happy because Jimmy keeps running away from the relationship, maybe because he doesn’t want to commit or he’s just happier leaving it in the past while it was literally Scott’s everything and seeing him still teasingly trying to bring it up to Jimmy. Like in a "haha I’m so over it aren’t I so over it look at how over it I am’" way when he’s definitely, joking about it with Jimmy just so that Scott isn’t the only one with memories of what once was a perfect marriage. They got to be in love in third life and Jimmy hadn't been so occupied with Tango or anything (Not Ranchers hate just thinking about flower husbands)
He's hoping those times of peace and love aren’t so far gone that he will forever be the only one to hold them. Because Scott still remembers burying his husband, Scott still remembers arriving at the desert just a second too late. Scott remembers the anger he felt from its loss. Jimmy remembers the happy times, the teasing the loving the smothering the tender love and gentle care for each other yet he still doesn’t want to go back. Jimmy wasn’t alive for the bad times, Scott was, and maybe something about those bad times makes Scott cherish what they had ever dearer. Maybe because Jimmy doesn’t remember, he takes it all for granted, that if he came back, if he ever decided to, it would always be that way, and if he moved onward to someone else, it would be that way too.
The thing is with love is that Scott's only been hurt by it. Except for when he was with Jimmy. Scott’s love came with 3rd life only to have it ripped from him by a husband taken too soon. Scott’s love came with last life only for that loved to be tainted by the nightmare of winning. Scott’s love came with double life, a love so strained and painful that it could hardly be counted as a love at all, the fighting and spite the swords held at each others throats both seeking revenge for their tarnished relationship. Both never willing to sit and understand each other. Scott’s love came with limited life, where he gave and he gave and he gave, and the only thing he received was the scorching hot bucket of lava that covered his skin. And Scott’s love came with secret life, where he trusted and was betrayed, where he forgave and was used, where he loved and he let himself be killed. Jimmy constantly surrounded by people trying to save him and Scott by people who try to use him. Jimmy is the only ever love Scott had that was gentle and it is something that he will never get back.
But Jimmy doesn't have malicious intentions, Jimmy also is just trying to find a way to live. The canary curse affecting everything that happens to him, maybe it's because he knows he'll die before everyone he both wants to live that time to the fullest and not get peoples expectations up because he doesn't wanna hurt people when they lose him.
3rd Life
Jimmy’s 3rd life death I will never ever get over. The last thing he gets to see is his husband being shot down in front of him after fighting for both their lives. And then Jimmy can’t even live for him, he tries to, he tries his best. He’s shot right at the escape tunnel, and somehow Scar who’s been on red for much longer and is much more reckless is still alive. The man who has double-crossed everyone on the server lives, yet the man who only ever wanted to protect his husband was cruelly shot down.
Scott running back to the desert to see everything in ruins, and he finds out that Scar pulled the TNT too late, that all of that was for nothing, and the only one who actually died was his husband.
Scott not even being there to see it happen, he wasn’t there in his husbands final moments neither of them got to say goodbye.
And then Scott being so fucking distraught about it that all of his grief crystallises around his head, so that he can keep his grief with him and out of the grasp of the watchers of which grief they love to feed out. Maybe one last desperate attempt to keep their love untainted.
Double Life
There’s something about how Scott went out of his way to build a ranch. Like he could have called it anything else at all, but he decided to make it a ranch. The same thing Jimmy and Tango called their base. And not only did he do that but he made it basically a couples counselling but so he could break up pairings. So he could break up pairings like the ranchers. Maybe he misses his husband so much he's willing to do things he would never normally do. Because he doesn't want to hurt people or hurt their relationships, but he also wants his husband back
Limited Life
Limited life flower husbands ruins me the most because of what could have been. Scott trying so hard to get Jimmy to say literally anything that could be taken in an “I still care for you sense” and Jimmy just giving him nothing to work with. ‘I gave you a pufferish of peace, Jimmy’ ‘Yeah, someone took it. i don't know where it is anymore, I lost it.’
The whole ‘Love you’ thing, the fact he didn’t even have to mean it but he still wouldn’t bring himself to say it.
BUT ALSO!!! Why wouldn’t he say it? If he really didn’t love Scott, then he surely would have no problem lying to him or just saying it was platonic. I mean Scott was offering up a whole 30 minutes for something so simple, but he didn’t. He just outright refused. Which makes me think maybe he does still love Scott; he didn’t say love you back because he knows he means it and he can’t risk loving anyone in a death game.
Maybe Jimmy is avoiding all of this and purposefully trying to sever ties so he doesn’t have to worry about the pain that comes with watching someone you love die. He doesn’t say ‘love you’ back because giving Scott that hope when Jimmy knows they can’t have anything like that is cruel, so in his own way, it’s a sort of mercy. They could love each other, though I mean Scott shows that constantly that he isn’t really worried about the consequences. Jimmy just sees how everyone else has suffered because they’ve loved and doesn’t want that for himself. Which is okay, that doesn't make him bad, he just cares.
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They're both just trying to love each other in a way that keeps them both safe. They love each other too much and neither of them can love the other in the same way. Both are so longing and hoping for third life back.
Tbh I have hope for flower husbands redemption in season 6
But yeah 3rd life flower husbands peak and I am so third life brainrotted it's officially the only season for me
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