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freedomseeker91 · 2 years

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The Choices We Make....

Chapter: One-Shot Based In The More Than Good Enough Universe

Title: The Choices We Make

Summary: As the Supreme Court overturns Roe -v- Wade, Beca finds herself reliving a painful memory from her past

Rating: T for Angst.

Warning: This one-shot deals with the topic of abortion. Please proceed with care.

Author Note: I’ve tried to be as sensitive as possible with this topic and apologise in advance if anyone takes any kind of offence. It is not my intention.

Beca literally felt the ground beneath her feet move as the news filtered out from the tv screen. It felt like a scene from a horror movie. How could this possibly be 2022 when it felt like the world around her was moving backwards? The Supreme Court had overturned Roe -v- Wade and all Beca could think about was the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. The gnawing in the back of her mind as she felt ghosts from the past begin to creep to the forefront.

Her emotions were all over the place, understandably considering she had just given birth a week and a half ago and was currently recovering from an emergency c-section, but this, this was a different type of tidal wave. It was a tsunami of emotions Beca had somehow managed to repress for most of her adult life.

She stood there stoically facing the tv, watching as camera links projected images of gatherings of men and women across the US. Some ecstatic at the decision, their American flags waving proudly, but others were outraged. How could a seemingly modern society take such a monumental step backwards?

The right to choose had always been a contentious topic, it was to be expected in a country that consisted of so many staunchly conservative Christians on one side and liberal progressives on the other. It was a constant push and pull, back and forth, one upmanship. Basic human rights were tossed about as political currency and subjected to scrutiny based on religious or social beliefs.

Too often the actual core point of it all was lost in debates designed to skew narratives. But the reality of Roe -v- Wade was that there were no winners or losers irrespective of its place in society. Abortion was not something to be politicised nor should it ever be used to emotionally manipulate. The humanity of the process was often lost in a game of whose rights are more important.

The right of the father, who shared 50% of his DNA? The right of the unborn? Was it something that should be legally considered based on religious beliefs?

It seemed everyone else’s rights and opinions mattered, except for those of the woman. The person who was mentally, emotionally and physically responsible for carrying the child? The one whose reproductive health was dependent on standards that didn’t seem to take female reproduction all that seriously.

What, you’re expected to bleed throughout most of your life and be taxed for products designed to help? Expected to be the most responsible with regards to contraception and the expense attached. The pill, the coil, the bar, the morning after pill. On and on and on. Expected to reproduce and raise children in a society that wasn’t cost effective for people who lived below a certain wage line. That provided little help in the way of relief with regards to food, rent, formula, clothing, medical care.

People often talked about Pro-Life but Beca couldn’t exactly see how that was possible when there was seemingly no interest in helping to protect that life post birth.

Beca was so caught up in her internal musings, she failed to hear the sound of the front door opening, nor the sound of Chloe, her parents and Aubrey entering into the living room, Chloe pushing a stroller ahead of her.

“Hey babe, did you have a good nap?” Chloe asked as she removed her handbag and placed it on the couch.

Gazing at her wife, Chloe noticed that she seemed to be locked on whatever was on the screen. Suddenly everyone was watching, exasperated expressions on their faces. Chloe glanced towards her wife and could see the anguish hidden behind her eyes.

“Bec,” she whispered, not wanting to draw attention to her.

Just then, AJ began to stir and Chloe had never been more grateful for her daughters timing.

“Hey Mom, could you give AJ a bottle. There’s plenty of expressed milk. I just need to help Beca clean her incision before we grab lunch,’ Chloe said, her mother more than happy to get to spend time with her granddaughter.

Lacing her hand with her wife’s, Chloe guided her out of the living room and down the hall towards their master bedroom, Aubrey watching them out of curiosity sensing something was up. Stepping inside, Chloe closed the bedroom door shut behind her and when she turned around Beca was sitting on the edge of their bed, head in her hand the faint sound of a sob wrenching free from her chest.

Chloe instantly eliminated the distance between them and sat down next to her, her arm wrapping around her wife’s shoulders as she pressed her lips to the side of Beca’s head.

“Oh Bec’s” Chloe cooed as Beca wiped at her tears.

“I’m so- I’m sorry,” Beca wept as she inhaled a couple of deep breaths to try and regulate herself.

Chloe just shook her head peppering kisses against her wife’s head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Chloe said, squeezing and rubbing her wife’s shoulder for good measure.

The topic of abortion had always been a sensitive one to Beca, because to her, the subject wasn’t something trivial, it had been her reality.

Even now she could still remember being that same scared, barely 17 year old girl crippled with shame. Having struggled with the passing of her mother, and dealing with a fractured relationship with her father, she had found herself desperately lost. And within that darkness she had found herself making reckless decisions. The kind that you only understood the consequences of with the benefit of hindsight.

Beca hadn’t expected a drunken night out at a high school party to turn into a one-night stand that, looking back on it Beca wasn’t even fully sure she was comfortable with even then. But this was back in a time when the lines of consent were still often blurred, misconceived and even violated with the excuse being ‘you were totally into it.’

Back in a time when Beca didn’t realise that no could mean no and not just be considered a negotiation tactic for guys to navigate around. That wasn’t to say the guy she had been with had completely taken advantage of her, but had she been in possession of her full senses, she probably wouldn’t have gone through with it.

But years of internalised pain had built up within her and messed with her head. She had made a mistake, a big one with massive consequences that she was ill prepared to deal with. Beca was in no way ready for a baby, she couldn’t even take care of herself.

Eventually, she had gone to her dad and stepmother and revealed all. Her father had been understandably upset, but it was Beca’s stepmother who had actually been the one to defuse the situation. She had seen how much the young woman had been hurting and that her actions weren’t some frivolous mistake for a bit of fun.

When Beca ultimately decided that she didn’t want to continue the pregnancy, they supported her, but they had also been adamant that she went to counselling to deal with her problems.

Having an abortion was not an experience Beca would ever wish on anyone. Contrary to ignorant belief, it wasn’t just a quickie procedure to fix a mistake that people bounced back from. It had been painful and emotionally draining and even with counselling, Beca always lived with the shame it instilled within her and often times found herself wondering, what if?

Ultimately Beca knew she wasn’t ready to be a parent at 17, she had to do what was right for her and she still had so much she wanted to accomplish at that time. Things she felt she would end up missing out on. She also knew that mentally she wasn’t fit to be a parent. How could she possibly raise a child when she could barely find it within herself to get out of bed in the morning and keep living.

But even though she didn’t regret choosing to have an abortion she would be lying if she said the stigma didn’t still sting.

When Beca had eventually opened up Chloe about it a couple of years later when they were getting serious, the redhead couldn’t have been more supportive or caring. She never judged Beca, never considered her selfish. She understood that everyone’s decisions, needs and circumstance were individual to them and that they couldn’t be boxed into a one size fits all mentality.

It was a deeply complex and personal decision, one that woman should feel they have the right to navigate themselves however they so choose. If anything, Chloe had been grateful for the fact that Beca had been in a position to be able to make that choice.

Chloe knew Beca still lived with the impact of her decision, and that while she was ultimately happy with how her life turned out, that one moment in time would be something that would always stick with her.

And as she sat there allowing Beca to work through her grief for the countless women who would be affected by this ruling, she couldn’t help but lay her own thoughts bare.

“You know the one thing I regret in life, is that I didn’t know you then,” Chloe said as she stroked Beca’s hair, the brunette turning her head to face her, a questioning look in her eye as Chloe gently stroked her cheek, softly wiping away her tears.

“I wish I could’ve been there to hold your hand, to comfort you, to tell you that everything would be okay,” Chloe sighed, before gently smiling.

“But we have an incredible life now Bec’s. You made one of the hardest and bravest decisions anyone should ever have to make and because of it we’re here now, together, living our dreams and raising our beautiful daughter. You did what you had to do to get here now and be the amazing mom that you are. And I know that no matter what, we’ll both make sure that AJ grows up with all the love and support she could ever need.”

Beca reached up her hand and cupped it around Chloe’s neck, pulling her in as close as she could for a hug whilst being conscious of her own still healing belly and buried her face in the crook of her wife’s neck.

“I love you so much,” Beca mumbled against Chloe’s neck. And the redhead beamed as she stroked her hand up and down her wife’s back.

“Unconditionally,” Chloe replied, echoing back to Beca the words from the brunettes’ own vows. A promise to love and care deeply, no matter what, without restrictions or limits.

Pulling back, Chloe tucked a strand of hair behind Beca’s ear and noticed how emotionally drained she looked and took the initiative in that moment to put her own family first.

“Why don’t I send everyone home and we just veg out on the couch today. You, me and AJ. We can do lunch another day,” Chloe said.

Beca nodded her agreement, more than grateful that Chloe was so attuned to her emotions. With everything else going on Beca didn’t feel much like socialising, not when her mind was drifting in and out between a peaceful and mentally blurred state of being.

Chloe pressed a kiss to her forehead and disappeared out of the room and down the hall, as Beca decided to take a quick shower and change into some more comfortable maternity sweats and a flannel shirt. She needed to wash off the lingering feeling of shame that had embedded itself in her skin.

By the time she arrived out of the ensuite, Chloe was already laying on their bed propped up by some pillows, a mountain of snacks and, drinks and sandwiches on a tray at the foot of the bed and AJ laying against her bent knees. Beca beamed at the sight as Chloe cradled her daughters tiny hands in her own and chatted away with her baby daughter as if AJ was verbally responding to her. In that moment, Beca suddenly felt the weight in her chest lift as she realised that sometimes difficult decisions did in fact pave the way for brighter days.

She would never know what could’ve been had she made a different decision all those years ago, but what she did know, was that the choice she made led her to this, and gazing at her wife and daughter she realised, there was no where else she would rather be.

#Bechloe #Pitch Perfect #FanFic #One-Shot #More Than Good Enough Universe #The Choices We Make

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ofstoriesandstardust · 1 year

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NOT TO BE BACK ON MY UMBRELLA ACADEMY BULLSHIT BUT I MISS LUTHER AND ELENA

#me writing an svu and tua crossover only i care about #elena and sonny i miss you #what if i just #skipped s3 #and kept writing #s3 was never gonna have any impact anyways #kylie rambles #the choices we make #the umbrella academy

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tresdem · 1 year

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Just thinky thoughts as I am writing this fic [[Never Shall We Die, complex backstory fic dealing with Ed becoming Blackbeard, check it out comment/like if you enjoy it etc]] is that:

Man, Ed is pretty tender really. Sure he's a ruthless bloodthirsty pirate sometimes, but within his own sphere of people he likes, he spends so much time giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Like he knows Izzy can be an angry little bastard man, but not to him. Izzy is his. And yeah, even when Izzy offers a double fingered resignation, I think Ed knows that he just has to weather the storm (or is depressed and sick enough of everything to see if this time- this time, Izzy really will leave). But then he goes back to gently rope Izzy to his side. (and then at the end more forcefully tying him there but sacrificing a lot to do it) He gives Jack the benefit of the doubt too and thinks that Jack has good intentions - and that he's just an idiot. He does break a little when Jack betrays him but it takes so damn long to get there. And even Jack has plenty of room to wiggle out of it, only his own stupidity gets him cannonballed in the gut which he'll oddly survive from {like to charge, reblog to cast} (and look, I come from the One Piece fandom and if Pell can do it...)

[[And in the fic, this is present too as Jack does run roughshod over him but despite Ed being younger, Ed looks out for him and his emotional and mental well being (which the same can't be said for Jack, at least not as much.) and this is by and large a commentary about how under privileged kids have to grow up sooner and are not allowed as much leeway]] He gives Stede so much benefit of the doubt and trusts him so much and then...

But Ed is always getting betrayed and just sort of dealing with it until he really can't any more. Because he doesn't know how to move on and he can't lose the people he loves and while he doesn't really handle it in what I would call an emotionally healthy way, but then he doesn't have the tools to do so either.

Bring it home, Season 2 (but not so much as we don't get a season three, like to charge, reblog to cast etc)

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absentlyabbie · 2 months

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taking my life into my hands to resurrect this godawful hellpoll and let it run for a week this time

#tumblr polls #my polls #poll #rice v potato #let's see if we can avoid getting weirdly and vehemently racial with it this time!#i am making this choice while sick and brain muddle-y so let's hope i don't regret it #last attempt at this seven months ago managed to get over 6k votes in 24 hours #let's see if this will once again be rip my notifications

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devilfruitdyke · 1 year

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we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric...#... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages'#that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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realtalkwithmattycom · 1 year

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The decisions we make

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#The choices we make

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fuckyeahisawthat · 1 month

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Oh I realized a thing about the Paul/Feyd-Rautha fight. So usually if you have a big fight scene, but especially if you do something like have a character get injured in a way that would definitely be fatal if they weren't cursed with inescapable Main Character Energy, you follow up the fight scene with some moment of comfort or relief or something, which serves to release the tension for the audience and let them know whew, that was scary, but it's okay now. Your character is hurt but they're gonna survive. (Or alternately, if they're dying heroically, it was worth it and what the narrative demanded.)

But here there's nothing. Paul is surrounded by devoted followers; his mother; his lover; one of his oldest teachers and a loyal servant of House Atreides. No one steps forward to offer a shoulder to lean on or help him to his feet. He's left them all behind. He's not a person who got hurt in a fight anymore; he's a myth that people shrink back from. So he pulls the knife out by himself. He stands up by himself. Other than the emperor very begrudgingly touching his hand to kiss the ring, I don't think anyone touches him at all for the rest of the movie. He's completely alone. They never release that tension, because Paul's alive but it is very much not going to be okay.

#dune #dune part two #paul atreides #action #to be clear i think this is a fucking excellent choice #it's a big part of what makes the ending feel Like That even if we don't consciously register the missing emotional beat #been thinking a lot about the choice to let paul get like. severely injured during the final fight and what the effects are #and this is a big one #dune spoilers

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trans-axolotl · 1 year

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saw a post the other day that said that psych survivors were overexaggerating and fearmongering for saying that people should be aware that having diagnoses on your record can be a danger + impede your life. and the more i think about it the more annoyed i am. because i think people need to know that there are exceptions to health privacy laws that can make having psych diagnoses and psych hospitalization history on your record risky depending on your circumstances. diagnoses follow you through your health interactions-you do not have to consent to have your information shared between providers. judicial proceedings are also an exception to the HIPAA privacy rule, so for things like custody battles, guardianship, getting orders of protection--the court can petition for medical records. there's so many other situations where even if they can't legally access your information without your authorization, people will require you to disclose diagnoses, records, previous hospitalizations and refuse to give you services/hire you/whatever unless you share that information with them. for example in many states anyone (a provider, a cop, friends and family) can disclose that you have certain psych diagnoses like bipolar to the DMV which then might require that you undergo drivers license review as frequently as every 3 months. my university is actively trying to kick me out right now because i had to disclose my medical record, psych diagnoses, and hospitalization history to them as a requirement to stay enrolled.

and i don't want to scare people or make people think that having a diagnosis on their records is automatically going to mean that it is weaponized against us. because i do know plenty of people who have never faced issues with their records. but i do expect that the community supports the people speaking out about the ways that we have been harmed by diagnoses creating barriers to accessing necessary parts of our life. instead of attacking us or saying that we're lying about things we are currently experiencing.

#personal #antipsych #antipsychiatry #mad pride #mad liberation #saneism #it's just like. i think we need to be realistic! and not deny people who are literally talking about things happening to them #and also allow people who have the option. to make informed choices about seeking diagnosis #bc for many of us that isn't up to us. but if you are considering seeking formal diagnosis. there can absolutley be some good and helpful #things that come from that! im not denying that at all! but there's also some negatives #and i think also like. if people refuse to acknowlege the ways this is structurally a problem #how are we going to make it better so that we don't have to deal with thsi stuff

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