#ALAKAZAM BITCH

[the-colorator]

i cast spell of fermented coochie juice! woe be upon ye!

#i’m a magician #for my next trick i’m gonna eat a cheese stick in one bite #abracadabra alakazam bitch

[rius-cave]

I have a new AU everyone!!

So, Charlie IS Adam and Lucifer’s daughter. They did the wap bap boom at Eden and ALAKAZAM! There is a ducking little kid coming out of Lucifer’s hat. Heaven decides to seperate them instead of throwing them at the same place, Lucifer takes the responsibility saying it was all his fault, that Adam was drunk or whatever and falls to hell with Char-char -where Lilith is for disobeying God’s orders and she isn’t a bitch btw there is just no romance between them- And they do not let Adam get away and also decide to throw him to Earth where Eve was because she ate the apple before. And she is angry at Adam. Not a happy marriage if you’d ask me.

Then he dies. Becomes one of the leaders of exterminators even though he doesn’t want to -Other one is Eve- and stumbles to his son, Cain during one.

“Shit I can’t just- Go the fuck away Cain”

“Oh, still a ball of sentiment I see. It’s a shame we don’t allow those HERE!”

Now he’s in hell. Lucifer finds him. They all raise Charlie together with Lilith being the cool aunt and Lucifer & Adam being the gay dads

And I worked on this shit for 2 hours

Ooooh! Alrighty, that's definitely a telenovela right here lmao! A lot of things happening to them. I also love the "they did the wap bap boom" LMAO

Eve as an exterminator is also interesting, I wonder how she'd look... Probably hot let's be real

#hazbin hotel #adam #ask

[ittybittyluci]

WHY IS LUCI THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN?

- Took the entire Hazbin Hotel fandom by storm faster than you can say “magic-tastical back flippingrubber duck! Haha! That spits fire!”

- Obsessed with rubber ducks

- The best dad who loves his daughter so much

- Short King. Enough said.

- So many good nicknames: Short King, Apple Daddy, Duck Lord, Snek Boi

- Man wears a top hat to make himself look taller. I mean COME ON

- Neurodivergent coded

- Hella depressed (pun intended)

- Ultimate Rizz

- Quite literally an Angel (fallen but whatever)

- Hot asf demon form that he still manages to look adorable in

- Supportive father

- Protective father

- Most powerful being in all of Hell

- One-shot bitch slapped Adam into submission after a full minute of fucking around

- “Take that depression!”

- “Wap. Bap. Boom. Alakazam”

- This:

- And this:

- Andthisandthisandthisandthisandthis:

Oh, and finally, incase I haven’t convinced you

- This:

I rest my case

#hazbin hotel lucifer #i love luci #lucifer #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #tumblr sexyman #nomination #you can’t tell me he’s not #he is #adorable #sexy #apple daddy #short king #duck lord #superstar #the MVP #my world #best dad

[art-strix]

she alone is the honoured one. alakazam bitch

#alfis #aasimar #wizard #those are magic missiles in the making btw

[emmettkane]

Stuff

Hey, reminder that I make stuff! (and if you like that stuff here's my Ko-fi) ✨Boom✨ - The Little Paragons - A horror/thriller short story exploring life in a supernatural cult from the point of view of several of its members. ✨Bam✨ - The Redhaven Delegate - Biweekly drama/horror series set in my cool, kickass dieselpunk setting, Redhaven! ✨Alakazam✨ - A SECRET NEW THING???

THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT POST!

Now introducing: Ghost Bricks, the first in a two part post-apocalyptic fiction series!

--- Between the apocalypse(s), actual magic, nature-defying mutant monstrosities, and hordes of opportunistic mercenaries and bandits, very little makes sense in the world today. Tiberius, Asher, and Sloan, a trio of young scavengers bound by common loss, do their best to make it work anyway. ---

Ghost Bricks will be releasing late Summer/early Fall of this year, so be on the lookout for updates! (Or sign up to my mailing list here)

#writing #writblr #announcement #big update #self promo #trd #the redhaven delegate #emmett kane #tlp #the little paragons

[melonthesprigatito]

Is anyone else still mad at the Pokémon Square townsfolk?

That whole "Pikachu is actually a human and the Ninetales legend says that when the human wakes up as a Pokémon, the world's balance will be upset and the apocalypse will happen. So we should """"get rid of""" Pikachu and the world will be saved, right?" thing.

Like, they take what Gengar, leader of Team Meanies, (and THE ACTUAL HUMAN TURNED POKÉMON FROM THE ACTUAL LEGEND) says at face value and immediately decide that murdering Pikachu is the only way to solve their problems.

They turn on the poor little Sugar the Pikachu and Sprinkles the Eevee who have been peacefully going about their lives doing their rescue work and have been nothing but friendly and conversing with everyone.

Rescue Team Sweetheart becomes public enemy number one and the townsfolk and every Rescue Team in existence chase two innocent Pokémon to the literal end of the continent, and Sugar and Sprinkles suffer from exhaustion, constant threat of attack, possible starvation, possible hypothermia, SPRINKLES DOES CATCH A COLD AT SOME POINT ("Eww, my nose is running!") for a period that is implied to last weeks or months. They also nearly get killed by TWO Legendary Birds!

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEAM A.C.T. Alakazam, the Gold Rank explorer with the IQ of 5000 gives into peer pressure and decides to join the lynch mob. Alakazam who is already aware of the Ninetales legend. How come Mr Big Shot Smart Explorer didn't try to diffuse the situation and find another solution?

Everyone trusts Alakazam enough that him being an eyewitness to Ninetales confirming that Sugar ain't evil in her past life and telling everyone she has nothing to do with the disasters is enough to clear her name. He could have said "Hey, how about we DON'T kill the supposed human who's causing the disasters? She has no motive, she lost her memories, we have no guarantee she's even the same human from the Ninetales legend that's causing the natural disasters, we should look into this and come up with a better solution."

But NOOOOO, Alakazam's all like "We came to a consensus, we must get rid of you." Charizard taunts Sprinkles before their battle on Mt Freeze like "I don't know how to show mercy" and all three of them would have killed Sugar and Sprinkles if Ninetales intervene.

Gengar receives no punishment for starting an international manhunt. All the townsfolk except for Caterpie, Metapod, Diglett, Jumpluff, Pelipper and Kangaskhan basically say "Sorry for suspecting you, I was 100% sure you were guilty, I had no faith in you at all."

Fucking Shiftry over there is like "I joined the chase with a heavy heart but only stopped going after them once they ran into Doomed Desolation Mt Blaze (actual way Mt Blaze is described in game) because I'm a Grass Type and fire doesn't agree with me." BITCH, I RISKED MY LIFE TO SAVE YOU FROM ZAPDOS. Why would you go along with the "Let's Kill Sugar" plan???

The townsfolk go back to acting like everything is normal and the rest of the rescue teams gather in the Square when Team A.C.T goes missing and I'm supposed to be courteous to the people who subjected me and Sprinkles to months of horrors based on the words of one individual who's famously untrustworthy.

I know it's a video game, but holy shit. If I were actually Sugar, I would never trust any of these people again. I would have left Alakazam's ass to melt in the Magma Cavern.

Behold the Beast of The Apocalypse and her sympathisers

#pokémon #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokémon mystery dungeon rescue team dx #PMD RTDX #pokemon mystery dungeon rescue team DX #pokemon #pikachu #eevee

[lovepmd]

What if the Rescue Team!Hero died during the fugitive arc to Team ACT and only to come back as a Yamask right after Ninetales vehemently denied they were the human from the legend?

Hero, right after rising up as a Yamask:…

Partner who’s glaring at Team ACT: >:(

Alakazam who is speechless.

Charizard who is awkwardly standing off to the side after having been the one to deal the deadly blow.

Tyranitar of Team ACT: …Well, we fucked up.

Yamask!Hero: Oh really, ya think? You think you fucked up? You thought listening to the words of a Pokémon who has stated he intends to rule the world one day was a reliable source! It was fucking Gengar who was ready to force a young Caterpie to join his team and force his parent to reward him handsomely for saving a Metapod. For a Gold Rank team, that was a pretty poor investigation you conducted. Chasing us half way across the damn continent! I am—was a grass type, who had to go through a volcano and a freaking tundra.

Alakazam: In hindsight—

Hero, in an otherworldly voice: Ssssave it! You don’t get to go “oh we didn’t know any better”. I am dead, I died, I am fully a ghost.

Safe to say when the Hero finds out Gengar was the human from the myth—they are pretty pissed.

asdfghjkl

this is both sad and hilarious at the same time, I love it

yanmask!hero about to strangle a bitch (or two)

#ask #anon #rescueteam spoilers

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

I like the sound of "The Alakazam Friend" tho lol

It sounds like a character stereotype from an anime or something that like tries to be cool or badass or whatever but just ends up constantly making a fool of emself.

Their catchphrase would "Alakazam BITCH" then stumbles out of frame while various stock crash sounds play

from now on you'll be the alakazam friend XD

wait it does XD I feel like lucifer would fit into that archtype lol CALLED IT /silly i wish i could animate that

#the alakazam friend #ask #FRIEND!!! #the-alakazam-attraction #<-last time im using it #The Alakazam Friend #hm #lowercase might be better

[omgahgase]

i'm on my hazbin hotel shit so i can't stop thinking of tommy and ellie bonding over the show.

like tommy loves cartoons, both the kind intended for adults and the ones for kids—spongebob especially bc he thinks that show is comedic genius—and ellie loves anything tommy's into, so of course she'll binge watch the first season with him in one sitting (it's actually tommy's 12th time rewatching the show and he still gets excited every rewatch).

sarah tried to get into it bc she always wants to talk about her uncle's interests, but it's more ellie's speed, so she'll stick to her k-dramas and let them have fun. which they do.

ellie's memorized almost every joke in there and she thinks vaggie is kickass bc, hello? an ex-exterminator angel who went and fell in love with the princess of hell? yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. her favorite songs are "hell is forever" bc adam may have been a little bitch but he had a catchy as hell song, and "hell's greatest dad" bc she thinks lucifer if a silly little guy. she hasn't stopped saying "i wap-bam-boom, alakazam" for 6 days straight and sarah is about to duct tape her little sister's mouth shut lmao

her and tommy rewatch their favorite episodes a lot, specifically ep 4 bc they're angel dust lovers, and they've learned the choreography to "loser, baby" much to joel's absolute displeasure bc they won't stop singing "you're a fucked up little whiny bitch" anytime he's in the room. they do it even when they're not watching the show and he's about to break the roku remote he's so goddamn serious—

on a serious note, tho, joel's actually so happy his daughter and brother love spending time together and that they have similar interests, even if the first time ellie watched hazbin, joel was in the room when husker appeared and all she did was point and laugh bc "joel! you didn't tell me you were in this show! look, look, he's exactly like you! old and grumpy!" it was funny the first time but now he's learned to stay far, far away from them whenever he hears the opening jingle blare from the living room tv

#ellie is actually trying to get joel to watch it with them but joel would rather watch bar rescue lmao #tommy is over the moon that his feral little niece wants to hang out with him #sarah indulges and listens to a few of the songs and yeah she also thinks lucifer is a silly lil guy #ellie also now wants a pet pig so she can name him fat nuggets bc 'i need one joel or else i'm gonna DIE' #hazbin hotel #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #joel miller #sarah miller #tommy miller #joel tlou #ellie tlou #tommy tlou #sarah tlou #omgahgase writes

[sunnyyyyyyyynnus]

Your first "I Love You" ---------------------------------------

---------------------------------------

With Minhoe:

. It's bonfire night

. You're chatting with ol' misunderstood Benny 

. You both laugh at one of his pathetic jokes

. And suddenly, abracadabra alakazam, Minho(e) appears out of thin air right next to you

. And, of course, he's giving Ben a stare that plainly tells him he's one joke away from not being a runner anymore

. Wait, is that jealousy you sense?

. Awww, he's jelly

. Of ol' Benny

(hey, I rhymed!)

. "Sorry Ben but I need to talk to Y/n, if you don't mind. It's important." Ooof, if looks could kill.

. To add to it, Ben is smirking at you both, like he can read Min Min's mind

. "Well, see you both tomorrow." Benny walks off to where Gally is as MeanHoe pulls you in the direction of the map room

. "So, what's so important?"

. "Emergency meeting." is all he has to say. Like, wtf boi, you think I'm stupid?!

. You scoff "You really think I'm that stupid? Why didn't you tell Ben to come then? Huh?" 

. You see him smirk. Oh hell no you don't, bitch.

. He opens the door to the map room and pushes you inside the dark room. He enters and closes the door behind him. What, you trying to kidnap me?

. It's really dark in here. Literally the only source of light is the tiny, tiny window set way up high in the wall (guys, I don't remember if there was a window or not) 

. You turn to look at Minho and you can just make out his smirk before he has you shoved up against the wall.

. Ah shit, your back's definitely gonna give you problems in the morning 

. "Flirting with Ben, huh?" he kisses you roughly before you get a chance to answer. 

. Your arms are around his neck, your legs around his waist, and the butterflies in your stomach feel good. But, why not tease him?

. You pull back, leaning your head against the wall, breathing heavily. You look at him and raise an eyebrow "Maybe. So? It's not like we're officially dating or anything ." You smirk at the small flash of anger across his face, but the smirk disappears when you see the hurt twisting his features.

. He slowly lets you back down and makes to pull away but you won't budge. "Minho. Hey, Minho, look at me!" you force him to look you in the eyes.

. "I was joking, 'kay? I would never, never, do that to you." you can see that he still has his doubts so you whisper to him, looking down at the floor, suddenly nervous "I love you, MeanHoe, okay? I love you." 

. You look up to see the shock on his face before a grin spreads across it. "No shit?" he asks and you know he's being genuine.

. "Yes you shank, YES of course I love you!" You kiss him, rather passionately if I must say. 

. He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours "I love you too. So much." Awwwww so sweet

#tmr #the maze runner incorrect quotes #the maze runner #tmr headcanons #minho #minho x reader #tmr minho #minho x you #minho x y/n #maze runner x reader #tmr minho x reader #Sunny writes

[polyamorouspunk]

Luvdisc Swablu Nidoqueen Nidoking Ninetales Wooper Alakazam Minun Lopunny Unown Meloetta Swirlix Pichu Metagross Shaymin Dwebble Exploud Bibarel Absol Slowking Zoroark Porygon

Luvdisc- I love your blog

Lol thanks

Swablu- I want to hug you

I like huuugs

Nidoqueen- I want to date you

I mean I’d be open to more partners

Nidoking-I want to battle you

Fuckin’ fight me bitch

Ninetales- You’re beautiful

Aaaaah

Wooper- You make me smile

With cringe?

Alakazam- You’re really smart

ahdkdhajs not with math

Minun- I wish I was your friend

Do it do it do it

Lopunny- You’re sexy

:3

Unown- I love your writing

Have you read my fics? Or you mean like my posts?

Meloetta- I love your music

Thank you, as you should

Swirlix- You’re really sweet

Dozens of tumblr users beg to differ-

Pichu- You’re really cute

:3

Metagross- I want to get to know you more

Do it it’s so easy I promise

Shaymin- I am grateful to know you

Man right back at you

Dwebble- I wish I could talk to you but am too shy

Literally just talk to me about my crush I won’t shut up problem solved

Exploud- You scare me

Good

Bibarel- You’re silly

:3

Absol- Your blog is a disaster

THATS BECAUSE IM A DISASTER

Slowking- You’re wise

Said no one ever lmao

Zoroark- You should post more pictures of yourself

I will when I actually look more like myself

Porygon- You should post more

Is the amount of dumb posts I make not enough for you already???

#punk gets mail

[kokorowoutsu]

-- RP: @skullboneandunown

skullboneandunown:

He forgot that she's so little, so he sheepishly stops spinning. "Sorry Willow." His pride swells a bit at her wanting to see him battle. "Oh, you'll be amazed. I am Johto's strongest trainer for a reason-Ow!" He's cut off by Ashe flicking his forehead. He mouths the word 'bitch' in a playful manner, and pats Willow. "All good now?" Professor Xavier smiles, and points to Donovan. "To be fair, Donovan has ADHD. He's had in under control for a long time, but he slips every now and then. His job has done wonders for his focus." He and his Alakazam lead them out of his office and out into the school. "Let's start the tour with the library, then we'll show you one of our science labs." They lead the group down the halls, which are thankfully empty now that classes were in session. "I've made it a point to have up to date history books, and books of every subject really. My personal favorite subject is history." His Alakazam opens some double doors, revealing a library that goes down to the first floor. Donovan crouches down to let Willow down. "Ah, I remember this place. I fell asleep studying at that table over there!" He points to a table by the window that a teenager is reading at.

Following the Professor's lead, snorting at Donovan's use of 'bitch' and whispering 'I've been called worse', the group depart after him. The mention of a library had Ashe's eyes twinkling as well as history being his favorite subject. "Really? That was the only subject I was good in. Although I preferred World History, not Unovan History." She admitted with a sigh. "Boring as it is."

During all this, Willow held onto Donovan until he let her down. Leon had been keeping his distance for now but he finally stepped up to his daughter's side, a look of amusement on his features as Donovan explained where he often fell asleep and Willow leaning over to whisper rather loudly; "D'es th't me'n I c'n f'll as'e'p th're t'o?" Leon reached over to ruffle his daughter's already unruly hair. "No, sunshine. Make sure you pay attention in class. You never know what you might find useful here."

Yep, he was one of the students who did ace his classes.

#skullboneandunown #ashe ;; ic #leon ;; ic #willow ;; ic

[crystalelemental]

@patchun did it, so now I'm doing it. Apparently it's just a big grid of your favorites, if anyone else wants to play along. I tried to be more honest with myself about pre-evolutions, but we all know how that can go.

GEN 1 There were no Dark types, and only one Steel type, so that's a little lame. Otherwise, Gen 1 has a lot of "my favorite is a pre-evo." Eevee, yes Vulpix over Ninetales in this moment, and most critically, Kadabra over Alakazam. Kadabra is, at least at present, my favorite Gen 1 mon again. Just like when I was a lad. I loved Kadabra. One that I think might stand out is Nidoran-Male. There are plenty of Poison types, but truth be told? I always just thought Nidoran-Male was super cute. I love its big ears. It's not the same when it starts evolving.

GEN 2 I feel like none of this should be surprising, and I'm sleepy, so moving on.

GEN 3 Gen 3 has excellent Pokemon, I love them. Illumise is a bit of an odd pick, but I had a really fun AlphaSapphire run one time that ran Illumise and it did pretty well, endearing it to me. Otherwise...yeah, actually, Mega Mawile is preferred over Gardevoir at this time. I miss it so bad...

GEN 4 Despite my love of Gen 4, I feel like a large draw is its legends. A lot of these feel like filling in a box. That said, Mesprit. There are so many good legends, but I'm tired of pretending Mesprit isn't my favorite.

GEN 5 Lilligant Sweep. Honestly, looking back at how much I love so many Gen 5 designs, it's nuts to think that people hated on it. Also we're back to having pre-evos as favorites. Frillish is better than Jellicent, with the pink one being my favorite, while I also just like Dewott better than Samurott, and think it's the best starter form of the generation.

GEN 6 Okay, so at this point, I should mention: I decided to put something different in each box, to avoid just spamming certain favorites. That was ill advised when you get to gens 6-8, given how few new additions there really were. So much of this feels like picking something. That said, special shoutouts to Gourgeist, who is legitimately one of my favorites ever, but cannot compete with Lilligant.

GEN 7 UB Sweep. Also, I love Pikipek. I love Trumbeak. I don't really love Toucannon. I loved woodpeckers, and was really excited by having one, but then it evolves and it's like sure, this makes sense. Morelull was the worse outcome, but the short is Gen 7 really did not endear itself to me with the evolution decisions. It did, however, endear itself via Moon Bat and the Ultra Beasts. Nihilego being the easy favorite. Like, come on.

GEN 8 Man, thank god for Legends Arceus, am I right? If it's from legends, safe to assume it's actually my favorite. If it's from Galar, it's like a 50/50 I was just filling a spot. That said, I am here to pick fights right now. Thievul is cute, y'all are just mean, and I fucking love Indeedee. Great shit.

GEN 9 I happen to like Paldea quite a lot. That said, wow do Ice and Bug not have much going on. Ice is especially painful, but I actually do like Frigibax. I saw it first in the evolution line and was like oh hey, that's a pretty cool dragon thing, and it's Ice type that's crazy! And then I saw its pre-evo form and was like oh, that's not so good. And then I saw its final form and was like "well that's not too bad" until I saw it move. It's not great. But the rest I legitimately love. Arboliva, Ceruledge, Espathra, Glimmora, Bellibolt, and yes all of the Meowscarada line. They're really good.

MISCELLANEOUS Not a ton to mention in the special section, but I'll comment on a bit. Spearow line is great, they're just vilified because of the anime. But if you think about it, Pidgey spams Sand Attack and is a little punk-ass bitch with Whirlwind when it evolves, while Spearow is an honorable warrior. Chingling is probably my favorite baby? I briefly debated Smoochum solely for being not-Jynx, before decided I didn't really like that one either. Flareon is my favorite Eeveelution but couldn't win over Vulpix, so it just...never got to appear. I'm sorry, I just love the Vulpix line so much.

OVERALL I assume none of these final decisions are surprising, so instead, here's the official ranking of each within the favorites (just the 18 types):

Lilligant - Absolute favorite, I adore Lilligant.

Nihilego - Very, very close second, I love this space jellyfish that deletes your personality.

Gardevoir - I can't help myself, I just love Gardevoir. It's such a good design.

Mawile - While Mega Mawile won out over Gardevoir overall, I think that's as much sadness over losing it as actually preferring it. They're pretty evenly matched, but without the mega, I think Gardevoir pulls ahead.

Mesprit - Emotion gremlin, I love you Mesprit, it's so cute and I am instantly drawn to emotion things.

Kingdra - I actually really love Kingdra. I think it's the Johto thing, and the strong association with Clair, who is a favorite. It's also just a cool dragon, like look at that thing.

Glaceon - Eeveelutions suck so bad, and I'm so mad about it, but I love you Glaceon, you and Flareon are hot garbage but you're my favorites.

Iron Valiant - Iron Valiant is so goddamn cool, what a good Paradox Pokemon. I just...wish I had more time with it, you know? Maybe over time it'll climb up, but I think it's just too...locked to one of the very last things you can do to attach.

Mismagius - Super cool ghost witch. Love this thing.

Milotic - It's very pretty, and it's one of the few Water types I stronly respect. I'm sorry, I don't love Water types.

Indeedee - Look, Indeedee's my girl. It's such a cute little design, I love that it got Psychic Terrain on entry, I'm dying for Pokemon Masters to give Caitlin or Darach one of these things. It's so good.

Braixen - Fennekin is the best starter ever designed, and Braixen is therefore the best by virtue of being the best iteration within that evolutionary line. REALLY wish it were Psychic type.

Krookodile - It's just a really cool thing. I wind up using Krookodile like every time I play Gen 5, it's just such a cool thing.

Diancie - You should be higher, but Pokemon is terrible with how mythic Pokemon are distributed so I just don't have enough direct engagement with it.

Vespiquen - This is the coolest bug. And it's also one of the shittiest. Life's not fair, is it?

Meowscarada - I actually do really like Meowscarada. I think it's a cool concept, and for a humanoid creature like we feared, it actually didn't turn out as bad as I expected.

Ampharos - Electric is one of my least favorites types, but Ampharos line is just so cute. Look at this thing. That is a friend.

Noctowl - I just think it's the coolest regional bird, and deserves more respect.

#pokemon #pokemon tier list

[flittle-fanatic]

this you bitch?

//pretend this is anon please :3

Oh! An alakazam, I love those guys! Should I try growing a beard too? Would that look cool?

#pokemon irl #pkmn irl #flittle boy questions

[bloodied-sullied]

rp sentence starters but its from my friends discord server quotes channel

"the french language is a slur."

"square up, child."

"ive come to a conclusion that dads that dance are a master race"

"well, alright buddy. ill be in hell."

"eh, theyre poker cards, not tarot cards. whatever. give me your money."

"i accidentally misspelled compliment as continent."

"i had to stop eating my ice cream and contemplate that, you ass."

"i could drink 60 gallons a day and my medicine will still slurp every drop of water out of me."

"of all hills to die on, you choose the ant hill."

"thanks for NOT coming to my TEDTalk. if you wouldve come to my TEDTalk, i wouldve killed you."

"so long, rainbow dash!"

"you have a lot of time to prepare for horse cock."

"do you wear joxers or jriefs under your jorts?"

"okay... lets say i was my uncle..."

"id like some mike & ikes, hold the ikes."

"dont let the doctor steal your dick in surgery."

"dating is just like chess!"

"oh my god we thought you were dead. can you go back to that?"

"mmm yum catgirl water"

"my balls are like stickers because theyre scratch and sniff."

"yeah so you know how i said i dont like killing children? yeah, i lied."

"hey, youre gonna love whats on your roof tomorrow."

"my dick is the 18karat run of bad luck."

"im going to start your balls up with an electric motor."

"STOP BEING CONFUSED!!!"

"i cannot discern the gender of this monkey but i know that its french."

"put me on the do not call unless you are steve list."

"im abusing the straw. pummeling the wheat."

"oh my god i feel like my nose is on its period."

"abracadabra, alakazam, you are now a ham."

"i need to marry off my sisters."

"i have a pipebomb."

"dont do that because ill be blamed because im the adult."

"im gonna shit my pants crying."

"buddy, you backed yourself into a corner, did a handstand, and now youre saying you cant walk?"

"oh my god youre not funny."

"i need you to know that was incredibly unfunny."

"did i walk into foreplay???"

"you seem like the kind of guy to like head."

"i used to have a friend and now i have a pokemon."

"am i a whore for feeling love?"

"oh no! theyve got guns and theyre very angry!"

"fricking swearword."

"i need a hearse."

"hear me out on the dimensional horror..."

"the fuck is a kilometer."

"oh my god thats so funny i wanna body slam you."

"hey i found the good knife!"

"I CAUGHT YOU IN 4K BITCH"

"where are your bones..."

#roleplay sentence starters #sentence starters #ooc #back to my regularly scheduled silence

[what-if-nct]

Doja Cat Lyrics That Remind me of Bangchan

"Damn papa, you a rare breed, no comparing And it's motherfuckin' scary. Tryna keep him 'cause I found him. Let a hoe know I ain't motherfuckin' sharing. I could take you to the parents, then to Paris. Plan a motherfuckin' wedding. You the type I wanna marry and keep you merry. I'll put the ring on when you ready. We play our fantasies out in real life ways and. No Final Fantasy, can we end these games though? You give me energy, make me feel lightweight. Like the birds of a feather, baby We real life made for each other And it's hard to keep my cool. When other bitches tryna get with my dude and. When other chickens tryna get in my coop' Cause you're a one in a million There ain't no man like you" - Streets

"Tryna see if you could handle this ass, Prolly give his ass a panic attack. Sorry if I gave a random erection. Prolly thinkin' I'm a telekinetic. Oh, wait, you a fan of the magic? Poof, pussy like an Alakazam. I heard from a friend of a friend. That that dick was a ten out of ten. I can't stand it, just one night me. Clink with the drink, gimme a sip. Tell me what's your kink, gimme the dick. Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me. Uh, wait, I can take it. Give a fuck 'bout what your wifey's sayin'" - Need To Know

"He need a sex symbol, he need some sexual. I need a who be fuckin' up my edge control. He need a stripper-type of body, need it flexible. He like it thick like she ignorin' all her vegetables" - Handstand

"If you could see it from the front, wait 'til you see it from the Back, back, back, back, back (wait 'til you see it from the) Back, back, yeah, back, back, back (wait 'til you see it from the) Back, back, back, back, back (wait 'til you see it from the) If you could see it from the front, wait 'til you see it from the back" - Juicy

#bangchan #stray kids