#AND TELL ME THERES NO INNUENDO THERE

[sinclairstarz]

im a hosegate believer btw. i think its really fucking funny

#YALL ARE WEIRD FOR BEING SO MAD AT IT!! #nancy was around the same age in s1 when she literally had sex on screen #but god forbid theres a gay sex innuendo 💀💀 #u r PURITANS.. #gay people have sex too sorry this is inherently more dirty and innapropriate than straifht sex to most people #LIKE UR GONNA GIVE ME WILL TURNING ON THE HOSE LIKE THAT #WITH AN UPWARD SHOT OF MIKE W THE WATER #AND TELL ME THERES NO INNUENDO THERE #PLS I GIGGLED SO BAD WHEN I SAW THAT #stranger things #byler #hosegate

[dilutedconfusion]

A Moth to a Flame

Eustass Kid x F!Reader (Part 3)

UMMM SOOOO YA’LL ARE LIKE THE NICEST PEOPLE EVER. Kisses and hugs to everyone who gives a semi-shit about what I write. I wrote this BEHEMOTH of a chapter and I personally think plot wise its my best yet. So get out your forks and knifes cause we eatin good today!

Summary: Having just found out Kid is a super big time murder machine Y/N is left in shock whilst sitting at the bar. Kid and Y/N finally have a coherent and tangible conversation. Emotions arise but Kid is still a total grump. In a fit of stupidity and some grief Y/N does something that I would not advise doing if you’re not like a professional idiot or something.

Warnings: Gore, NSFW (nothing actually happen theres just some sweet innuendos and mentions of NSFW related things)

Word Count: 6.3K

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Tags: @st4rfevrr @archangelshavethetardis @likeeliterallywtf @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @tulipps-maehem (At this point, if you comment something I’m smacking ya right in the tag lists. If you don’t want that just tell me! I’m totes fine with it.)

Kid took a sip of his rum. The cool yet bitter liquid burned his throat and swirled in the deep parts of his gut. Leaning back against the pleather booth he let out a little sigh. His arm was still throbbing like a bitch. Another sign that a strong wave of phantom pain would soon be coming on. But he tried not to think about it. Hoping his brain would stop the onslaught of pain if he got it drunk enough.

Killer was sitting across from him. Using a straw to take periodic sips of his beer. They had been sitting here for a good bit but hadn’t talked too much. A comfortable silence sat between them as it usually did. Kid’s stump randomly twitching now and then though he kept his eyes closed as he tried oh-so desperately to relax.

Watching him quietly Killer noticed the small twitching movement of his partners arm. “Is it hurting again?” He asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible despite his worry.

Trying to hold himself back from being a total asshole, Kid spoke. Opening one eye and letting out a dry sigh. “I lost a fucking arm. What do you think?”

Was that the nicest reply? No. But if anyone other than Killer would have asked that question Kid would’ve just punched them. So he was getting off easy in Kid's terms.

Killer stayed quiet for a moment, grimacing under the space of his mask. “Well, you look a little strained. Is the liquor helping or making it worse?”

Kid finally opened both his eyes, leaning forward and putting an elbow up on the table in front of him. “Helping. Now quit pestering me about this shit.” Kid grabbed his glass and took another long chug of his rum. Finishing out the last bottle he had asked the bartender to make him.

Letting out a hearty burp he felt his torso sway a bit as he sat. He wasn’t drunk but he could feel that warm goopy feeling building up in his brain. Staring blankly at the rest of the vacant and dimly lit room. Listening quietly to the sounds of people in the front room of the bar. The waiter who had taken his order was working the bar itself so he knew she was going to take a while to make an extra round.

“Want me to go get ya some more? I’ll order some food so you don’t crash as hard later.” Killer murmured out, already slightly sliding to the left to get on his feet.

That made Kid's red-painted lips scrunch up, waving his hand at Killer to stop. “Get your ass back on that seat. I got it.” Kid let out a grunt and started sliding off the booth to a stand. His body swayed just slightly but he stood up normally. His huge fur coat lay discarded on the booth seat.

Kid turned towards it and picked it up. His body felt stiff like an old piece of wood. Nearly groaning at even the slightest movement and it annoyed the shit out of him. Feeling light-headed he swung his coat over his shoulders. It was a bit difficult considering the lack of an arm but Kid has since gotten used to it. Making sure that his stump was at least halfway hidden by the fur of his coat. The bandages and torn scars running along his chest were mostly hidden, though he couldn’t hide the fresh scars on his face.

“Ya know…you don’t need to hide it. They are proof that you made it through something shitty after all.” Killer whispered to Kid, knowing it was a sensitive spot on his poor Captain's mind.

Kid’s face stayed sharp and demeaning but Killer's words had gotten to him even if just a little. Letting out a huff of air he responded, “Ya don’t think I know that? I just want everything to heal a bit more. Then I’ll show it off.” With that Kid started walking away from the table, leaving Killer in his lonesome.

He bounded past the other booths. His boots hitting the wooden floor below loudly as he made his way to the other part of the building. The sounds of casual conversation floating towards him along with the satisfying sound of taps being drawn while the bartender siphoned out beer.

Walking up the two small steps that separated the rooms he could feel the air around him get just a tiny bit warmer. The low crackling fire tracing the room with a rich wooden scent and faint smoke. Walking up to the bar he paid no mind to those around him. Leaning up against the wood as another much stronger wave of pain shot up through his stump.

Shit. He thought, gritting his teeth. He would give anything to start rubbing his arm. Soothing the muscles trying to avert whatever pain would come next. But as that same waiter came up to him he had no choice but to deal with it.

She had that same polite smile on her face. Standing on the other side of the bar, her hands filling up beer glasses as she talked. “Run out? Sorry, I didn’t make a round back there. We’re pretty short-staffed right now. What can I get ya?”

“More of the same. And…some fried chicken.” Kid mumbled out, settling down onto the barstool nearest to him. The woman looked him over for a moment. Glancing at his stump and bandages for only a second. Her face turned a bit contorted in what Kid could only assume was disgust before brightening up once again.

Never seen a guy with some wounds eh? Kid thought, almost wanting to say that out loud. If he wasn’t so tired and beat up he would’ve.

Well in truth if he wasn’t in pain he'd be drinking his ass off and winning bar fights. But he was in pain, his throbbing stump a reminder of that.

“Sounds good. I can walk it back there when it’s ready.” She said in that same sweet customer service tone.

Kid just rolled his eyes at her. “I sat down. I’ll stay here and wait. Can’t go back expecting you to remember to bring the damn food.”

The bartender cringed a bit at that but remained neutral regardless. “Sounds good. Let me go get that started for you.” She said awkwardly. Walking away from Kid in a bit of a rush and heading towards what he supposed was the kitchen door.

Kid eyes watched her as she disappeared, letting out a soft tongue click in annoyance. Eventually, his eyes just started drifting. His right hand once again itching to rub his poor stump but he held back. He looked down the line of the barstools absentmindedly to take note of the few people littering the room.

However, something made his eyes pause. They hovered over a girl. She was sitting at the other end of the bar, holding up a newspaper and looking it over as if it were the most important thing in the world.

Wait a fucking minute. I’ve seen her before.

It’s not like he didn’t expect it to some extent but a part of him had already forgotten what a weird little stalker you were. He glanced over your body, seeing the same clothes, jacket, and satchel he’d seen earlier.

Damn, it is the same chick.

He just kept staring at you wondering exactly when you were going to notice him. Your eyes were so glued to the newspaper your damn nose was nearly shoved in it. Even though Kid didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, he couldn’t help but rub your face in your obvious fuck-up.

“So you really-”

“WAH!” Your body jerked randomly hearing that deep voice once again. The newspaper crinkled as your fingers dug into it. Your whole body turned towards Kid at the other end of the bar but leaned away as if he was diseased. “Goddamn it! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“What the fuck?” Kid mumbled out, brow furrowed in confusion as he stared at your beet-red face. Soft eyelashes blinking over and over at him again as if you couldn’t tell if he was real or not.

“What do you mean what the fuck? You snuck up on me!” You yelled, voice faltering a tiny bit as you realized just how LOUD you were being. Covering your mouth with one hand to almost suppress the sheer adrenaline running through your veins.

You hadn’t expected to be talking to him, especially since he was the one to initiate it. The mortifying news about him on the paper mixed with his sudden appearance and this lunging feeling in your gut was a lot to handle.

Kid narrowed his eyes at you, face more bemused than annoyed by what an idiot you were being. “I didn’t fucking sneak up on you. I’ve been sitting here for like 5 minutes just starin’ at your ugly ass and you didn’t even notice me.” He turned the barstool a bit more towards you, leaning his good arm against the bar gingerly.

Taking your hand off your mouth you leaned forward towards him. The multiple chairs between the two of you made the distance of the conversation a bit awkward but that wasn’t going to stop you from being an asshole. “Well if my ass is so ugly, why were you staring?”

Kid's lip twitched at that, his cheeks almost daring to blush red but he held it back. He didn’t like that you had taken his insult in that way. But before he could let it affect him he let the first thing he thought of slip past his tongue.“Cause it's so damn horrific I couldn’t look away. Plus you might as well have been licking that newspaper by the way you were holding it. Following my order like a good little puppy eh?”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly, still holding onto the newspaper rather tightly in one hand. Looking down at it for a moment like you should be ashamed before frowning at him. Kid watched and bathed in your reaction, a condescending smile on his lips. It made you reel with anger. Wanting to slap that shit-eating grin off him until he was black and blue.

“I ain’t looking at this 'cause you told me to! I wanted to do this because you wouldn’t tell me who you are. Just so happens that I know who you are now and if my calculations are correct, you’re a total asshole and a lunatic. Though I probably didn’t need the newspaper to figure that first one out.” You told him, voice quiet enough so the whole bar didn’t hear but your tone was condescendingly lethal.

Again Kid just stared at you for a moment. If anyone else would’ve given him even one-quarter of a verbal punch that you just gave him they would’ve been dead on the ground. But he was tired and though he would never admit it, your comeback was good. Letting out a strong puff of air through his sharp nose to calm his urges he decided to take the argument in a different route. One that would give him the advantage over someone who had just a tiny bit of bite to them.

“I get it, sweetcheeks. You’re desperate to know me. To get my attention. Thought you could read up on me so you could handle the real thing easier but clearly you can’t.” Kid said, raising his hand in the air so ‘matter of factly’ though his tone was anything but serious. The glint of his teeth as he smiled and the way his low voice rumbled just made you angrier by the second.

A small tint of red rising on your cheeks out of pure embarrassment. Making mouth go agape for just a moment before you concocted a comeback.

“Q-Quit acting like you're the shit, you glorified puffball. I figured out who you are and if you’re anything like how this newspaper is portraying you in real life, then I should go get a pitchfork and a torch to exile your ass.” You flipped open the newspaper and pointed it towards him. Showing him the two pictures of him committing crimes aplenty.

Hearing you call him a puffball made Kids lack of eyebrows raise in confusion, wondering why in the hell you thought he looked like a puffball. You could see the gears in his head turning as he looked down at his chest to notice the large fur coat he was wearing. Yet still, after another second of mental debriefing, he put two and two together.

“Hey don’t fucking call me a puffball!” Kid said in a slight snarl, a tiny bit of red gracing his cheeks at your comparison. Leaning forward he eye’d the pictures you were holding up. “And I look great there so I don’t know what you’re getting at. They got all my best angles. Even a good picture of me back in my start-up.”

This time it was your turn to be confused, pointing sharply at the pictures of him and even raising out your arm so he could see it better. “So we're just going to ignore all the murder. Ya know, like right here and here and here.” You pointed at the dead crucified bodies hanging limply on their crosses. Blood and splattered guts dripped out of the slightly blue and cold-looking bodies.

Kid rolled his eyes, looking at you as if you’d just said the earth was flat. He rubbed his chin almost to feign boredom as he spoke. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

And with that, you smacked yourself in the face with your palm. Rubbing a hand over your temple and scrunching your face in a mesh of lines that represented pure annoyed disbelief. Taking a deep breath you responded, “Look, I ain’t your mommy and I ain’t going to tell you what you can and cannot do. But, this is my island. You do this shit here and don’t think you’ll be leaving with all your vital organs intact.”

“Well by the sounds of it maybe I should do just that. Give me some entertainment with a good little fight.” Kid immediately quipped back, his face returning to that patronizing smile you oh-so hated.

At this point, it felt like maybe you were talking to a wall. One that was so caught up in having an argument with you he didn’t want to take you seriously. “You are just a complete fucking menace aren’t you?” That was all you could say, almost dumbfounded by his stupidity.

“I am and the people dig it. Can’t say a little danger doesn’t get ‘em all hot and bothered.” He remarked, his shit-eating grin growing even wider as he tilted his head and leaned towards you a bit more. Your face just went completely flat. Void of all emotion except annoyance and the painstaking wish he had said anything but that.

“I love it when people lie through their teeth to my face.” You said so flat and lifeless a robot might as well have said it.

Kid's eyebrows scrunched up a tiny bit, not at all pleased he didn’t get the reaction out of you he wanted. He wasn’t flirting with you, or at least that's what he thought when he said it. In all honesty, Kid has the same flirting skills as goldfish. Just making bubbles and floating by expecting someone to get drawn in by how shiny his scales were. So when he said that he actually just wanted to see you embarrassed like you had made him feel. Little to say it was the first time he felt genuinely peeved by you.

“I ain’t lyin'. I’m a big-time pirate that’s big in more places than one. What more could someone want?” He clamored out, trying to lean into his more cocky attitude. Again his innuendo is less about stroking his ego and more about getting a reaction out of you. He didn’t need confirmation that his dick was big. But he wanted you to blush because he told you.

Your eyes twitched a bit when he said that. Not knowing exactly how to interpret why he was bragging to you and most definitely not taking it as flirting at all.

As if a cocky asshole like him would ever flirt with me, he just wants me to feel small and worthless doesn’t he?

Giving him a blank dead stare you spoke, “What more could a person want? Well…I don’t know, maybe literally anyone but you.”

Kid would never in a million fucking years admit it but that shit stung. He usually never lets people's opinions cloud his view of himself. They were nobody to him so why care?

Then why the fuck am I taking what she said seriously? He mulled over this thought for a moment feeling almost ashamed that he let anything you say get through his impenetrable skin.

But he beat himself out of that thought, scowling harder than ever before and clenching his one good hand until his knuckles turned white.

You noticed this despite the multiple barstools that took up the space between the two of you. Face once dead of emotion now alight in a wave of slight nervousness and even a bit of regret.

Why the fuck did I say that? To a murderer of all people? Do I want to get killed that badly?

Kid felt his stump throb in pain once again like a hammer cast in flames slamming into every single nerve. He grits his teeth hoping you didn’t notice before responding. “Like your opinion of me matters. Quit acting like you know me. You’re nothing compared to what I am.”

You watched him carefully, eyeing the way his muscles uncomfortably tensed underneath his fur coat. The slight sheen of sweat on his brow became a bit more noticeable in the low light. It made a strange feeling of guilt swirl deep in your core seeing him like that. He was a total douchebag but it felt wrong kicking him when he was down.

“I don’t know you but I’ve met people like you. More than I’d like to admit.” Your tone was soft as you spoke, not looking him in the eye as you held on to the newspaper in an almost delicate way. “I’m just saying I don’t trust you. And…if I’m right then I have every reason to be cautious. Reading this newspaper gives you a ‘I’ll kill everyone’ air.”

Kid watched you as you spoke. His amber eyes were sharp and clear as he noticed the change in tone. It didn’t bother him but in his opinion, it sounded like the most truthful thing you’ve said so far. “I don’t just kill everybody. I have some restraint ya know.”

“Well according to this newspaper, you kill pretty much anyone all the time. To the point that it's what you are known for. I mean, look at this headline, it says slaughtering right there.” You pointed to the headline once more, laying the newspaper flat on the bar before picking up your glass. The sight of rotting flesh in the pictures forcing your heart to lurch each time you even glance at it.

“Well, all of the people I kill fucking deserve it. Do you think I hand out mercy out of sympathy for worthless people? The motherfuckers get in my way so they deserve to be in the ground.”

Kid’s voice was harsh with conviction as he spoke. As if he's said this same thing nearly a thousand times. You took another quick sip of your daiquiri. Licking the sugar off your lips with a quick swipe before glancing back over at him.

“So…are you going to do that here? On this island? String me up by my belly and let my intestines slip out?” You asked him quietly, eyes boring into him with an intensity he hadn’t seen from you before. It felt raw and almost threatening. Like you were daring him to try because you knew he would lose.

He wanted to be annoyed and he wanted to punch you right in the jaw. Snap you out of whatever diluted sense of power you seemed to be feeling. But his stump was still soaring with pain. He was managing it sure but he knew if he started moving around too much he’d topple over. So instead he resorted to using his words, which was his least favorite thing to do. “Well…I’m thinking about it but…I’m not in the mood. It's too worthless to kill someone so weak. I have bigger fish to fry.”

Your eyes narrowed, reading into him for even a sliver of deception. You didn’t know what kind of man he was. Supposing he was a liar and cheat like most of the men who traveled the sea were. So you prodded him deeper, trying to find the root of his honesty. “Could your lack of motivation to kill me…have anything to do with those injuries of yours?”

You glanced at his stump and bandages running across his chest. The scabbed-over and healing scars on his face were still red and puffy from their recent affliction. Kid's eyes widened and he leaned back away from you ever so slightly. Hating the fact that you dare mention his injuries. Hating the fact that you thought they were making him weak. That they were holding him back.

That rage he had been holding in ever since it happened started to bubble up. The same rage that he felt for his crew members when they pitied him. The same rage he felt for himself. He had to look away, trying to regain himself. Control his overwhelming urges to not only split your face open but break every piece of furniture within ten feet of him.

He finally looked back at you, ready to scream his head off, “Don’t you dare-”, but he paused.

It was surprising to see your face like that.

It stopped him dead in his tracks, his once boiling rage now a soft simmer within only a second.

Kid didn’t know how to describe it. It was like you weren’t looking at him for who he was. For the scars he held. Those eyes of yours were looking at him for what he is. Deep somber orbs filled with nothing but…empathy?

No…that’s not the right word. It doesn’t feel…like it’s meant to be helpful or caring. Not an ounce of pity.

Familiarity. She knows how I feel.

Kid wasn’t good at reading people's emotions. He could barely understand his own emotions most of the time. So it was strange how he met you in the middle with just a glance.

Even though it didn’t last more than a few seconds.

“I have another pitcher of beer, a tall glass of rum, and that chicken you ordered.” Came the voice of the waiter. Walking through the swinging door with a large tray in hand carrying all the contents she mentioned.

Your face contorted to embarrassment as you watched the waiter stride up towards Kid. He had to force himself to look away from you, wanting to continue the conversation with you despite himself.

What the fuck has gotten into me?

Kid nearly rolled his eyes at himself. Feeling a pang of heat cross his cheeks he let out a grumbling cough to mask it. The waiter placed the tray carefully in front of Kid at the bar.

“Sorry for the wait but does everything look good?” She asked, sliding her body behind the bar and eyeing both Kid and you. Her eyes were bouncing between the two of you a bit, clearly wondering the origins of the tension floating in the air.

Oh god. She even knows I was researching him. You thought to yourself. Feeling like you’d been caught in the act of doing something reckless and stupid.

Kid stared down at the tray, his jaw tight as he let out a deep breath of air he’d been holding in. “It’s fine.” He grumbled, again that ache in his stump making his eye twitch.

Sliding his weight down onto the floor he stood up. His back cracked a bit as he rolled his shoulders trying to subside the ache. You watched him silently. Gliding your eyes gently across his wide shoulders. How the strong muscles there tensed and rolled as he moved. His smooth pale mounds of warm skin with bandages on every other inch lingering in your mind. His height was just as demeaning as you remember it though you still were a good ten feet away.

Always close enough to talk but not close enough to be considered next to him.

His hand tugged his coat around his shoulders a bit more, before he haphazardly tried to pick up the tray. His thick and lacquer-covered fingertips tried to dig under the tray without spilling anything. His one-handed skills at doing pretty much anything got in the way of even the simplest tasks of his life.

“You sure…you don’t need a little help?” The waiter softly asked. Watching Kid as she cleaned off the countertops with a rag.

“Say that again and don’t expect to be going home tonight with a tongue.” Kid spat back, his voice dripping with venom.

The waiter again nearly clammed up but backed off almost immediately. She was used to dealing with pirates but…this man was on a whole other level. Staying quiet and walking over towards your side of the bar instead.

She glanced at you but you didn’t pay much attention. Instead, you were trying to slyly watch as Kid finally wound his large hand underneath the tray. Holding it up easily on his palm at shoulder level before starting to walk away. Disappearing through a doorway without even a second glance towards you.

You let out a small displeased huff of air. At least expecting a glance or chance to continue that conversation. You felt like you were getting somewhere with that. Getting to know him a bit better. It was interesting beyond belief and if someone asked you if you’d rather stay at home in safety or talk to a scary pirate. Well…you would choose a scary pirate every time.

It felt nostalgic and it made your boring life more lively. That is until the waiter got in the way.

“You okay hun? He didn’t threaten you right?” She asked softly, giving you a sympathetic smile as she continued to wipe the bar.

You gave her a little quirk of a smile purely just for show. Not willing to give her a hard time for breaking up your conversation with that man. “Yeah, I’m fine. He did nothing wrong.”

“Well that I don’t believe. Seems to me like he's nothing but a walking pile of wrong.”

You stayed silent at first. Fiddling with your glass a tiny bit before finally picking it up to your lips and finishing the last of it off. Gulping it down and feeling the smooth taste of it run down to swirl in your gut.

“Well sometimes…a whole lotta wrong is just right.”

__________

No matter how much you wanted to, you couldn’t force yourself to stand up and walk into the back room of the bar. To go face that redhead again and his masked friend.

His name is not redhead, it's Kid. Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid. That thought dawned upon you as you thought over your conversation with him. You knew his name but hadn’t spoken it out loud even once. Even now his name stays within the confines of your mind. You had learned it while reading the newspaper along with the aforementioned Massacre Soldier, that blondie that’s with him.

Mulling over the idea of going and talking to them you tried to hype yourself up multiple times to gain the courage.

Come up with a catchy one-liner that would make you just a bit more likable. Maybe say nothing and sit down next to one of them like you own the place.

Assert dominance. Yeah….no.

You had no reason that wasn’t deathly embarrassing when explaining WHY you wanted to sit with them.

I’m just…bored, which would lead them to joke about my small, stupid, and uninteresting life. Maybe even lead Kid into bragging about how ‘important’ and ‘amazing’ he is compared to me.

Even thinking about that made your face sour. Rolling your eyes at nothing like you had just heard the worst joke imaginable.

I could…tell them that I have this strong gut feeling and it's dragging me towards them like a fish on a hook, which would lead to them being confused, taking it as flirting or calling me…ugh desperate.

That word crawled on your skin and sunk into your flesh. Like a tick taking root so one way or another you’d end up with Lyme disease or even worse, a bruised self-image.

You weren’t about to let that happen but this longing in your gut was almost incurable.

You even tried to calm down and look at your situation in a simpler light.

It’s just two men. Two pirates. You’ve dealt with pirates. You know how they work. You told yourself, hands feeling clammy as they gripped the edge of the bar. I already talked to one of them and it went…okay. Or maybe I’m just lying to myself and it went horribly.

You slouched in your chair and frowned. Nearly slamming your head down on the bar but you held back. Remembering you were indeed, still in public and if you wanted to wallow in your self-loathing you needed to go home for that.

I don’t need more people thinking I’m crazy.

You eventually stood up, walking to the point where you were just at the precipice of the doorway before panic struck you and you turned around just to walk straight out of the bar.

Red as a tomato and filled with shame you retreated into the night.

Did I even tell him my name?

You chewed your lips, the pleasant sounds of raindrops hitting the hood of your jacket and filling up your ears. It was a dark walk home. One that felt unmotivated to return home. You’d rather be out here, at night. The barren surroundings, whirring trees in the wind, and the rain pleasant yet cold. So you started meandering, walking as slow as you could despite the late hours.

Now and then the moon would peek through the clouds as if to say hello. A far-off lantern leaving a cool milky glow on your surroundings before being swallowed up by darkness once again.

Thank god my jacket is waterproof. You thought, watching the raindrops slip off the edge of your hood and in front of your face. It wasn’t a downpour just yet but it was not the best walking weather in most people's minds.

Yet even so you started making a detour.

What the fuck am I even doing?

At some point, while walking along the slightly muddy but managing trail to your home you made a hard 90-degree turn. Walking away from the direction of the little cabin your father had built when you were born, deep on the west side of the island.

It took about a half hour to walk through those woods to your house. Strong iron lanterns hung up on a few trees so you didn't get lost in the night. The animals are far too afraid to even step foot near your trail ever since your father claimed this portion of land.

So you were safe thankfully but what you weren’t safe from was yourself.

The trail you turned off onto led straight to the ocean. It was a bit muddier and more overgrown with thick roots and ferns but you have walked on this trial nearly half of your life. You knew it better than anyone because you were the one who made it.

Now and then you could hear the low rumble of lightning in the distance. Not too close but not entirely far off. The evergreens, birch and a few sparing oaks protecting you from the onslaught of the wind. As the wind cascaded through their branches it sounded like the raw howl of banshee. It creeped you out a bit but it was something you’ve heard before. This forest home even in the looming hours of the night.

Eventually, you breached the forest and reached the shoreline. The rain had died down a little, just a light pitter-patter against your jacket. The sand was wet but solid as you stepped down onto it. Your feet sunk in just a bit held against your weight regardless.

Looking out you noticed the ocean was in havoc. Waves nearly half your height would roll in and crash down like a bomb along the shore. The ocean tugged the water back in a greedy fashion as if it wanted to consume the land. Tall white-tipped waves stretching far out into the bay. The scent of salt, seaweed, and something oh-so comforting gliding in the space between you and the water.

Gosh if it's this bad here, I wonder what it’s like out on the open sea right now.

You looked down the shoreline, spotting the docks more towards the middle of the bay off to your left. There lay a few fishing ships, all bobbing up and down like pelicans in the water. But of course those weren’t the boats your eyes stayed glued to.

The contrast between those boats and the absolute behemoth that was the Kid Pirates ship was amazing. It was a good distance away, much bigger looking than it had originally been when you first spotted it. Squinting your eyes you could still make out a few shadows of people walking along its deck.

Your memory started floating into the forefront of your mind. Days on a deck like that. Nights spent harboring the seas as you tossed and turned in your bed. It felt like ages ago. That part of your life was now foreign to you the second the incident happened.

I wonder what he would’ve wanted for me.

Grief sunk deep into the root of your being. Covering the very base of who you are in a thick, oily, and dark substance. One that no matter how many times you tried to wash it off, it just wouldn’t go away.

“Goddamn it,” You muttered, trying to will yourself out of the feelings you held. You looked over at the sea once again, eyes trailing off towards your right. A long line of huge boulders stretched out into the waters. Built to elongate the bay and protect the land from bigger waves.

Without a thought, you walked towards it. The jetty calling your name as it has done a million times.

Climbing up onto the slick boulders you made sure to stay towards the shoreline side. The other side of the boulders, facing towards the open ocean, getting berated with large waves. You could barely hear yourself think with how loud it was. The light spritz of water landed on you periodically as you slowly and carefully traversed the boulders. Algae, kelp, starfish, and mussels littered around you. Wanting to trip you up whenever they could.

This is stupid, I can’t see shit. You thought, using your hands to steady yourself on any taller outcroppings of rock as your feet trembled underneath you. It wasn’t out of fear though, it was excitement. Excitement to do something dangerous. Excitement to try something so stupid.

Why am I like this? It’s cold and wet and I could fall into the ocean, get thrashed, and drown.

But you knew why you were like this. You knew exactly why and yet you still didn’t understand yourself. Feet moving without a thought. Your brain so focused on feeling something more than yourself that you don't care to stop.

At first, you didn’t even notice them. The pair of eyes watching you from a distance. Red-painted lips frowned in confusion as they eyed the familiar image of a girl seemingly trying to get herself killed.

In the cacophony of the waves and how they thrashed you heard another noise. A low deep whine of something in the distance. Your head perked up, blinking as if you had heard a ghost. As if the wind and waves were trying to talk to you. Thinking it was nothing you continued along until a second later you heard it again.

You looked out onto the sea towards your left, swallowing hard as you stared at the rocking waves just a few feet below you. You pressed your back up against a flat boulder at your side. Gripping onto it to keep your balance you finally glanced back at the shore.

What the-

An image of a man, a puffball-shaped man to be exact, standing at the edge of the shore right next to the jetty. You couldn’t make out his features but there was no denying who it was. His one intact arm waving and pointing toward something in your vicinity.

What the fuck?

The second you finished this thought something hit you.

Something dangerously cold and heavy enveloping you. Starting from the top of your head down to your toes. It burned your eyes as the cold sunk deep into your marrow.

Scraping your hands against the rock as you tried to stay upright, though the second it broke skin you were forced to let go. Your knees caving in under the insurmountable weight thrashed upon you.

One second you were standing and in the next you were getting sucked into the dark and desolate ocean below.

A/N: SHIT IS GETTING REAL YA’LL. BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING. I wrote this with my eyes comically wide the whole time. Sorry to leave ya’ll on like a cliffhanger but it makes for good story telling so have fun suffering. Quirky reminder but Kid can’t swim. So like….yeah shes fucked. I mean she did it to herself but still. RIP Y/N 🙏 or a least RIP until the next chapter.

#eustass kid #eustass kid x reader #eustasscaptainkid #kid pirates #killer one piece #massacre soldier killer #one piece #one piece eustass #one piece x reader #x reader

[actualbird]

Hey zak!

Marius is a pansexual mess, how do you think the NXX is going to react when they realize he has a massive crush on Artem's frying pan?

jkjk fdhasjkfhdjaskf

Okay seriously: How do you think the NXX is going to react if they overhear Marius making a flirty comment about them?

For instance: Luke shows Marius a picture of Vyn and Marius makes a comment like "The worst thing about Vyn is how hot he is, it drives me insane."

Not knowing that Vyn was outside the room and heard that.

well first off, i want it known that everybody in the nxx actually probably has a crush on artem's frying pan, and FOR GOOD REASON. artem's kitchen utensils, tools, and appliances are of the Highest Quality and also theyre SEXY. actually, marius has a crush on the pan (artem looks really good flambe-ing stuff), luke has crush on the knives (he loves a good weapon....uh he meant kitchen apparatus, totally), mc has a crush on the pots (love is stored in the SOUP), and vyn has a crush on the stand mixer (NOT on artem, he would like to make that clear) (marius, luke, and mc dont believe him, they think this is vyn being a tsundere about how he secretly wants to hate-kiss artem into oblivion)

......sorry, what was this ask response about again? OH RIGHT

the nxx team's reactions to overhearing marius making flirty comments about them

i wont delve too much into mc because we already know how she'd react given we see it in-game whenever marius says flirty things right to her Face: she gets all blushy -> she gets unimpressed -> "MARIUS! VON!! HAGEN!!!"

and she is so cute for that. frankly, her overhearing comments like this instead of being told it outright (oftentimes with a teasing expression) would make her feel more flattered, because "oh, he really thinks im attractive? it's not just a tease to rile me up? O////O"

which brings me to

-

luke, who i think would have a reaction rather similar to mc's: he overhears -> he gets all blushy -> he mentally backpedals with "OH HES JUST TEASING, HE MUST JUST BE MESSING WITH ME, HAHA, OH MARIUS, YOU JOKER!!!"

but given that this is an Overheard Instance of Flirting, luke's logic would then say "but if hes messing with you, why is he telling someone else instead of You (the person he is allegedly messing with)", to which luke would internally reply with "i dont know!! but theres no way he actually thinks im cute because!! WHAT!!! i-im not cute, im just—not that i WISH he thought i was cute, it's just! yknow!!! //frantic and aimless gesticulating" and then

vyn, walking past where luke is in the nxx hallway: what on earth are you doing there just muttering to yourself and waving your hands around?

luke: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS //pulls out a smoke bomb from nowhere, throws it on the ground, and runs away

-

meanwhile, it takes artem a While to even realize that marius was being flirty in the comment he overheard. like im imagining it was something that, if you were an Ace (as in asexual) Attorney like artem is, the comment was either innocuous or metaphorical enough that it TOTALLY flies over artem's head

until days later when artem mentions it to someone else and it's like

mc: artem. oh my god. that means he thinks youre SEXY

artem: What.

mc: like, marius was making an Innuendo

artem, ears going a bit red: W h a t.

and then he just goes silent as his brain bluescreens VKJHSFSD

-

vyn is the one who would take it most in stride, and also affectionately use this against marius whenever the situation and ambiance permits. like, he'll overhear that exact line u mention in your ask and then vyn will just

stride into the room with a shit-eating grin on his face

vyn: do not let my looks distract you too much, i do need your mind working at some sort of standard of quality during our sessions

marius, mocking vyn immediately bc hes not one to back down from a bitch-off: ohhhhh look at me im vynnn i know im hot shittt~ get over yourself!!

vyn: i dont have to, seeing as you definitely are not getting over me any time soon :)

luke, watching with metaphorical popcorn: ooh, that was a good burn. sorry, man

marius: //screeches into his hands because even when vyn is being a bitch, hes STILL hot to marius. probably even HOTTER

ahh, the trials and tribulations of marius von hagen, in a team of comprised of people who are so infuriating (in different ways) but also so so pretty. VLAKJFSFA

#tears of themis #asks #roshie-writes #sorry for fixating on the literal pans but i cannot stress enough how artem's raw sex appeal goes up by 8232987698% when hes in the kitchen #tears of themis headcanons #marius von hagen #luke pearce #artem wing #vyn richter #tot rosa

[edonee]

Hiii I need some advice and I don't know who to ask. Sorry If this is a lot.

So, theres this trans identified male who thinks that we are friends, I have been kind to them since we have friends in common and "she" didn't seem like a bad person at the start. But now he's starting to make me extremely uncomfortable. Everything started a couple months ago when he started making jokes about me having kids knowing full well that I don't want any, I told him that his jokes made me uncomfortable but he ignored me and even had the nerve to incite my friends to do that kind of jokes as well (I told them to stop and almost everyone except "her" understood), since then I feel like he's using me to project trad visions (talks about me marrying, the kids bullshit, even told me to throw my cat because I can't have kids if I have him in my apt) hes extremely disrespectful towards any woman: mocked some ladies that he knows because of their hobbys, talks a lot about hating "ugly women", laughed at other friend's clothes and so on. In general I feel like he doesn't respect me and he just keeps crossing boundaries every other day, I don't know how else tell him to stop without exploding and telling how he's just such a misoginist envious prick who enjoys making women uncomfortable. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this because they will treat me like a bigot and side with her but I'm genuinely uncomfortable and just want this to stop without losing my friends.

I had a similar experience in my old friendgroup. "She" was the only male, he was friend of a friend so we let him hang out with us sometimes. Me and my friends always used to make sexual jokes and innuendos (all in good fun, and no one ever got upset because we were all in on the joke), but this guy started saying the most unhinged shit istg. And he only targeted me & one other girl in his "jokes". Obviously, jokes about r*pe, breeding, and typical porn-brainrot bullshit. He was also very verbally violent when one of us criticized him. Every man (TIMs included, although they think they are so different) I've ever been "friends" with has been the same. I advise you tell your friends how you feel, and if they defend him and his misogynistic behavior that means they were never good friends to begin with. You always need to prioritize your peace and safety above all friendships. Although I'm sure that if you tell your friends what you told me, even the most passionate TRA will agree that he's a creep.

#answered #radblr #terfsafe

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Lost Girl

Summary: Scarlet was left in charge of you, obviously it hasn't gone well and Wanda's just returned home

Words: 1,060

Warnings: 18+ even though its not that bad but yeah 18+, swearing errr not much else maybe an innuendo or two

"Wanda do you know where Y/n is?" Scarlet had walked through the whole house looking for you and came up empty, she was slightly worried, you've never been away from them for long "are you telling me you've lost Y/n?" Wanda glared at the witch in front of her as she entered the house "I left you alone for 4 hours? How do you lose a woman?!"

"you forget the cherish her?" She smirked a little making the brunette roll her eyes "you're not funny" she walked past Scarlet and made a beeline for your game room "did you check the game room?!" Wanda shouted behind her with the other witch running after her "that was the first place I checked!"

Wanda opened the door and immediately stepped back "Jesus she needs to clean this place theres food and energy drinks all over the floor!" Wanda started wondering around the room which you clearly weren't in but she felt compelled to start cleaning up "Wanda we don't have time for this! Our girlfriend is missing!"

"You're the one that lost her! You go looking for her while I burn everything in here"

Suddenly the door opened and the pair ran through the house to the door to see you standing there with a bag of food and a few new stuffies in your other hand "why are you guys so red? Did you play without me?? Because thats so not cool you know I like joining in, or at least watching so I can give Scar pointers"

Scarlet breathed a huge sigh of relief and fell to the floor "fuck me Y/n why did you run off?"

"I didn't run off, I clearly came into the office and said 'hey Scar I'm going out for McDonalds do you want anything and I'll be back in an hour" you closed the door behind you with your hips, since your hands were preoccupied, then Wanda took the bag of food from you placing it on the counter "I thought we agreed on no more junk food?" she said and you just shrugged "I felt like I deserved it"

Scarlet was still on the floor trying to calm herself down but raised her head to look at you "she's been in your gaming room"

The colour drained from your face knowing exactly what that meant "okayyy-"

Wanda shushed you and picked you up placing you on the counter "you told me you were keeping that room clean, now I don't like to pry so I trusted you to keep it clean, so why isn't it?"

You refused to say anything instead shrugging and lowering your head but Wanda wasn't having it "ah ah ah princess" she lifted your head up to look at her "now you're going to clean the room and make it spotless, and well in the mean time Scar and I will be enjoying ourselves without you, got it?"

The redhead on the floor finally lifted herself up and looked to Wanda "okay but like I'm meeting Nat in an hour for a little stealth mission thing so could we reschedule the "punishment fun" later or tomorrow if I'm too tired tonight?"

Wanda glared at the witch "I'm trying to punish her here and you're not helping"

"But Nat will kill me if I don't go, and she's as scary in this universe as she was in my own"

Wanda groaned "okay! Fine" she looked back at you "you don't get to cum for week"

You gasped "that isn't fair! All because my personal gaming room is a mess? I clean this whole house once a week doesn't that make up for anything??"

Wanda pretended to think about it for a little bit "nope! Now go on, clean the room while I make dinner"

You jumped off the counter but pointed to the bag of food "what about the McDonalds?"

"Scarlet can take it for her on Nat on the mission, you're having beef stew" she handed the bag to Scar "oh hell yeah! Nat will love it"

You jumped off of the counter mumbling to yourself and Wanda stopped you "if you clean I'll let you have ice cream later"

"Hmm okay then" you left without another word to go and clean leaving the witches alone.

"That was harsh Wands"

"I'll make it up to her later" Wanda took a burger out of the bag biting into it "this is good, shame she wont have it for a while"

Scarlet laughed "wow, and I thought I was evil, maybe you should have the black fingertips"

Wanda nodded "I don't think they'd go with my nails"

Both women talked for a while until a large shout got their attention, it was you, "what the hell was that?" Scar said but Wanda was already up the stairs to your room "Y/n what happened?!"

You were lay on the floor with your eyes closed "I saw a spider and collapsed, I can't continue on to clean with a spider around"

Wanda was flabbergasted "what in the fuck does that even mean?? You hang around with Peter and Nat"

You shrugged "and?"

"You aren't scared of spiders Y/n now get up and clean!" Wanda left the room leaving you groaning and getting up "its not even that bad"

Scarlet picked up a bag peering inside "this chicken is green and smells"

"Yeah okay I guess that's pretty gross" you agreed taking the bag from her and throwing it in the bin "go on and enjoy your mission"

Scarlet brought you into hug and kissed you "my love, you clean this room and I'll let you come with Nat and I on our next mission, okay?"

"Hell yeah! Do you think Wanda would let me?"

Scarlet laughed "no, no she won't but we won't tell her will we?"

You smirked "you're so sneaky babe"

"Yeah well, you already can't cum for a week what else could she do?"

You thought about it and yeah she couldn't do anything to you but Scar on the other hand "what if she does the same to you?"

The witch snorted "please, she wouldn't be able to stay away from me for more than a few days, I'm too irresistible"

"More like pestering" you mumbled and Scarlet just laughed "yes yes I am but you both love it"

#marvel #mcu #MCU #marvel imagine #marvel drabble #marvel AU #marvel fanfiction #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximov #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel au #the scarlet witch x reader x wanda maximoff #the scarlet witch x wanda maximoff #the scarlet witch x reader #the scarlet witch imagine #the scarlet witch

[khanaclysm]

Cinnamon-roll in war criminal clothing! Synopsis; just headcanons about how ghost found out the most lethal woman on the the planet is obsessed with sanrio, now he just has to find out wtf that is.

𝐂𝐖 ; fluff,call sing!jaguar,innuendos, slight angst.

Successful but disastrous mission making you wonder if all this was even worth it. You sit back pressed to the front part of the truck seat, currently ghost was looking for a designated safe house, barely remembering any in the area. It's not as if we could go to lasswell— she was to close to shepherd at the moment.

Price said something threw the eliminated laptop screen making the area much brighter despite the night sky, hues of blue and green flow like water in the sky.

" jaguar, you've aournd here correct?" Price says, soap lying in crutches in the background, gaz resting soundly in your chair, but you nag him about it later.

"Aw come on cap, don't wanna invade the lady's privacy?" You and ghost roll your eyes in synchrony, earning a scoff out of him, or ghost's version of a laugh.

"Don't mind him, I'm not mistaken?" Price looks at you for conformation.

"No your not captain, I do infact have a house around here."

That's where the saga beings, you ask ghost to get your phone for you which happens to be in your bedroom.

Pastels everywhere, literally everywhere, how many fucking plushies do you have?

Not a gun in sight, well you must keep them some where.

He doesn't speak about until your realize while cutting some vegetables for tonight's dinner.

"Did you see my room?!"

"Yeah." He say as walks by the kitchen

Doesn't really care tbh, he dose find it a lil cute

If you like cutesy stuff because you never got a child hood you guys will probably trama bound. You guys r just;

Trama made me shut down emotionally and gave me touch aversion. Trama made me in love with Japanese animal cartoons.

Simon doesn't give presents, but if you ask him he will buy you that one sanrio bouquet.

Thinks your genuinely disappointed/embarrassed with yourself for liking this stuff, so he never mentions it to the rest of team, not like he talks that much.

Now you'd think he'd hate watching some sanrio cartoons with you, but honestly he really doesn't care. Will watch anything you wanna watch along as it doesn't have graphic depictions of child abuse (will not tell you this by the way, but you can safely assume)

Surprisingly his favourite character is Keroppi.

Will buy you themed clothing, it's not a gift it's something I bought for you, theres a difference- ghost.

Eventually tell you something "embarrassing" that he likes, probably something like table tennis(as much as I love ghost table tennis is lame)

Probably broke a few paddles.

He got curious of were you his your guns and began looking around, eventually found pastel pink and white vib, soooo

(I'll elaborate further if yall want me too)

Overall doesn't make a big deal out of it but gets a bit smoshy over it (as smoshy as ghost can get)

#🏈.𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 #mw2 x reader #cod x reader #cod #cod mw22 #fanfic #mw2 x you #cod x you #cod x y/n #cod mw2 fanfic #cod mw2 imagine #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #ghost fanfiction #ghost x y/n #ghost x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #ghost imagine #simon riley imagine

[hemlockyy]

started 9-1-1 and got to the second season you're telling me there's an entire episode about love innuendos and family and finding yourself after someone leaves you that somehow focus on the overly hetero goofy guy and his newfound homoerotic friendship with the hot latino rookie of the team that he initially had a grudge with? AND theres found family involved?

get me whoever wrote that episode i need their ao3 account asap

#911 show #the way my head kept whiplashing every TWO SECONDS

[asherlockstudy]

Hey! Im a recent anon and I wanted to react to what youve been discussing with the anon who agrees with you. Personally, Ive had phases about what I believe about Rhett and Link and the nature of their relationship. I have found the idea of these two attractive, weird, charismatic, creative men being into each other quite appealing, but I dont think Ive ever truly believed it without the help of fan speculation and overinterpretation of giffed moments. Especially after the reveal about their religious background… Without the fan content to feed the nice fantasy, I go back to the presented reality of their unique, brotherly friendship. You believe something that is extreme, even within a tumblr fandom that fixates on the idea of them as a couple. You do you, I dont even have to tell you that! What I find frustrating, just for me, is that I can’t easily refute your view. But I really do believe, without much doubt, that theres nothing between them, like they’ve repeatedly said, and, moreover, that theyre just not physically attracted to each other, despite the moments that may be interpreted as flirting (or… as mind-in-the-gutter banter, you know!). The one thing that I could concede is that, if there is any kind of sexual tension between them, it’s mostly subconscious or repressed, and they don’t want to explore that and only feel comfortable with their current, deep, but platonic friendship. I think that your interpretations, the ‘signs’ you notice in their videos, while beautifully packed with meaning, are not necessarily there. But once again, I can’t really prove it to you, and I find that frustrating. It’s about what feels like a plausible conclusion, an ‘inference to the best explanation’ as philosophers would say. My current opinion is a conventional one, but certainly not within the tumblr fandom, which is full of people that seem to at least believe that there’s something there even if not acted upon. I just think that their interactions could be what they say they are: two lifelong straight male friends connecting, having fun, learning about each other and the world, performing for an audience, often winding each other up, showing us their strange humor, their fascination with awkwardness and love of silly innuendos. And here we are, chronically misinterpreting it to maintain our delightful fantasy, a fantasy shared by many other fandoms built around two apparently straight men that have good chemistry, by the way. This is what I think is happening, and Im not going to judge, because as I said, the fantasy is really nice. As for the overarching themes and methaphors you have identified in their scripted content… I think alternative interpretations are definitely possible. The digging a hole video, for example, might be about collaborative endeavors in general, about the dramatic structure that is still exciting without normal dramatic content, about the joy of absurdist concepts and doing things just to do them, together… not the specific situation you imagined about them wanting to come out of the closet eventually, and navigating their relationship. I have to say, I was impressed and entertained by your interpretation of their puzzle video. I also think that there’s a lot of basic ‘if our characters did this somewhat suggestive or odd thing this would be funny’ reasons behind their scripted content… and not necessarily the cohesive story about viagra that you believe has happened to them. I think that sadly, they might be more boring or random than what you give them credit for, as far as cleverly hidden messages go. But yeah, I dont know how we could definitely know who’s right about this... If they never come out as you suspect they are planning to, if they stand by their no-homo claims, would you give up on your theory, or do you think there’s a chance that, in your worldview, they might never ‘fully come clean’, rendering both our theories basically impossible to prove or disprove? What do you expect from the TV show they’re going to release, for example (sorry if you already shared that before)?

Hello, thank you for analysing your different perspective in a polite way. I have been having a lot in my mind these days and I delayed answering. I was about to explain why I support some things regarding the videos and the puzzle video but somehow in this crazy world I didn’t answer before the brolinoscopy episode and I feel like R&L answered for me before me in this video!

After 9 years, Rhett brought up the reference by saying “you can even find missing puzzle pieces inside rectums”. It’s not even the first time they suddenly bring up the puzzle video after a silence nearly a decade long. Link as Sandy had a small puzzle tattoo in the Brown Diamond too. But today’s insinuation was so much more straightforward. As you understand, after this development, I am once more convinced I cannot find a more suitable explanation than the one I had in the puzzle post (the viagra thing might be a stretch or made up story by them but I stand by all the main and crucial points I made there). And that reference is generally nothing compared to all the things Rhett (also Link) said (supposedly I guess, but wild if true) incoherently in the brolinoscopy.

However, I do not intend to make an analysis here, neither do I plan to try to convince you, I am kinda over that in general and I don’t want to push something down the throats of people who find it unlikely or uncomfortable. I have figured out some people consider me extreme and… it doesn’t resonate well with me. If I am proven correct, will I have been extreme then all this time? Of course I will definitely keep doing my own thing in my original posts but I don’t want to try to change anyone’s mind anymore. Therefore I am curious - you said it is frustrating that you can’t refute me. Is this about me (I don’t think I matter, I am just an anonymous randomer blabbing potential nonsense) or is it about the possibility of Rhett and Link truly being more than friends? Or is it just because you are so convinced you are right that it would be frustrating to be proven wrong? I would understand that last sentiment (I am often the same way), less so if it’s a case of any of the former two scenarios though.

The only thing I want to stress again is that for me all my ships have started as an observation and then some became a pleasant fantasy. I have never liked a ship because I liked the idea of it first and then tried to force it into my reasoning and conclusions. It has always been the opposite with me - I see cues I consider very clearly there and then I decide whether I like that ship or not. Which is why I never liked fanon ships. Save for the Sherlock fiasco, I have a record of 100% canon ships and 0% fanon or slash. In fact, I almost have a personal aversion to them, idk why. As for Sherlock, the entire fanbase was essentially proven wrong and it wasn’t that we were all wrong but that apparently something happened and bombed this show and they wrapped up one season earlier than intended with enstranged actors . Still, many many fans were sure there was no case the show could end like it did and waited for another season. Not me. I realised the plot and show was bombed for good and I was done with it very quickly. I was proven right. I am saying all this only to explain that this “aw it’s a nice fantasy I am having so now I am misinterpreting gifs” is not representing me accurately. I was perfectly happy with Rhett and Link as platonic friends and I would be very happy with this image in my mind forever. I value deep friendship and, you know, being loyal to your spouse extremely. It’s just that it’s been quite a few years this is not the image I am getting from them at all. Of course I could be wrong but even if I am, it’s not because I try to make my fantasies reality out of nowhere.

I agree many people misinterpret gifs. There are gifs and gifs though. And some leave very little room for misinterpretation.

Regarding your question, I do doubt from time to time that they will get on with it. But then shit like today’s happens. There is always the chance that they will get scared for good before the end. But since November-December, I think something has shifted inside Rhett and he has made his decisions. But who knows. I definitely think there is a possibility they never come out, not even in the show they prepare, and keep hiding forever but I consider it a very very very small possibility. I could also eventually give up on my theory but for this to happen, there’s a shitload of undoing they would have to do first!

#rhink #rhett and link #randl #anon #mail #R&L #brolinoscopy

[aclairvoyant]

i think trg s1 couldve been slightly more compelling if gideon and scottie were actually dating. theyre already in an abusive (platonic) relationship, but theres definitely a lot of. tension? innuendos? gay jokes about them.

scottie telling gideon he broke his heart was a line that always stood out to me as kind of out of place. like, why did gideon break his heart? is he really that emotionally torn up over gideon of all people? similarly, why is gideon so insistent on helping and staying around scottie? scottie is horrible to him, constantly berating him and even physically harming him on multiple occasions. why is gideon so hellbent on risking the livelihood of his family for this guy??

also also, even jesse thinks theyre dating. and despite all his dumbassery in the series, jesse is not an unintelligent character. if he was, the church wouldve crumbled years ago. theres so much emphasis on him telling his son he accepts him as gay, on easter sunday of all days, and then its played off like a joke?

i just really feel like if they were going to go as far to have jesse assume their relationship AND have scottie say so many things with romantic undertones AND have gideon act Like That around his family when scottie is brought up then they shouldve just had them be in a relationship.

#let gideon be bisexual. danny mcbride. do you hear me. LET HIM BE BISEXUAL #the righteous gemstones #personal

[shrug-em0ji]

had not intended to readmorepost but this is long and rambly and has some sensitive stuff i think?

i mentioned to my coworkers the other day that my mom was a pathological liar (it was relevant, i promise) and neither of them dug for further details but i got caught in this loop of wanting to explain and justify it, probably because its a thing that i used to do a LOT and have only recently gotten better about. but i was thinking about like. why people lie. and my mom and i in particular. and about how when you are hurt profoundly, especially over a prolonged period of time, in ways that people cant see and often dont acknowledge as being worthy of consideration, it becomes really easy to just. fudge the details a little bit. add in an extra pinch of violence. make it sound just a little worse so that when people react their response is proportional to how you felt rather than to what happened.

i have a story that i have often used as an example of the things that happened a lot when i was growing up - i was supposed to be cleaning my room, but i was a kid, and i was bored and overwhelmed by the mess, so i sat down on the floor, on a pile of clothes, and spent 45 minutes daydreaming about my toys coming to life and helping me. when my dad came upstairs to check on me and saw that i hadnt cleaned at all, he got really angry and picked up a little armchair that i had in my room and threw it at my wall hard enough to leave a decently big hole.

for a long time, when i told this story, i said that he threw the chair at me and missed, that i didnt hear him come in, that i had been working and he just wasnt happy with how far id gotten. and i used to get really angry at myself for lying about it - obviously, if im lying to make it sound worse it must not have been that bad, im making a huge deal out of nothing, theres no reason for this to even be a thing that i tell anyone ever. but it was the opposite. i was on the floor, in the only place that i felt safe or like i had any modicum of control over, and someone who was supposed to care for me came in, towered over me, made me feel small and helpless, and then intentionally picked up a large heavy object and threw it across the room because he knew it would scare me. he wanted me to be very very aware at all times how big and strong and angry he was, and how helpless i was to stop him. "even in this safe quiet space that is yours i can break your stuff and hurt you, you are not really safe here at all, i am always in control"

but like!!! i was a kid!!! i didnt understand the concept of subtext! now, when i tell people that my dad threw stuff a lot when i was a kid, im usually talking to people who understand that throwing things is inherently threatening. it is a thing that abusive people do to scare you and let you know that they want to hurt you and they can hurt you if you make them. but when i was growing up this was very much not the case! if i told an adult my dad threw stuff their response would be "well you didnt get hurt so you're fine, nothing to complain about"

so i lied about it, because i was terrified of him and needed people to believe that he was terrifying.

i was reading a book recently - one of the big abuse books that everyone recommends, though i dont recall precisely which - and i got to a bit about incest and immediately felt so unbelievably guilty. i never accused anyone in my family of sexual abuse but i wanted to so badly, and i never understood why. i just felt like id been taken advantage of, like my body didnt belong to me, like i was tainted and ruined somehow, but no one had ever really done anything so i had no reason to feel that way.

and then i kept reading and the author specifically started drawing attention to specific behaviors - not illegal behaviors, not behaviors that get you barred from having custody of your kids, just... weird stuff. a parent drawing attention to their kids body, making sexual innuendos about them, commenting on their imagined sexual activity. stuff my dad did. "you'll probably be really good at sex someday, just make sure you dont end up a whore like your mom" "i miss when you were a little kid, now youre ready to start popping out babies" "people will say anything to make me look bad, i bet theyre spreading rumors about us sleeping together" "youre almost like a wife, theres just a few really important things you cant do"

it made me feel....... gross. and i didnt know why. i didnt understand it. i wanted very badly to not feel that way, but not as much as i wanted someone to understand that i felt that way.

i stopped showering regularly in middle school, when i moved back in with my dad, because i didnt want to be naked in the same house as him and my brothers (for related reasons) but i could never explain it to anyone. i spent a lot of time in the guidance counselors office being questioned about what the problem was and utterly unable to find the words, or really understand it myself. so it got chalked up to being lazy. and i just spent several years absolutely hating myself and not understanding why i felt the way that i did. i wanted to lie to explain it and could never quite get there. and then the other thing happened and gave me a plausible explanation so i ran with it, and have continued running with it for years now, despite the fact that the worst symptoms predate it by 3 years.

im not.... entirely certain why i wrote this out. i think its just been stuck in my head for a while now? and i wanted to say it. i wanted to be able to say "here is a real thing that happened to me and here is how i felt and feel about it and actually i dont care if you think my feelings arent proportional to the events, i need to be able to accept this as a thing that happened if im ever gonna get over it"

so fuck it.

#probably dont read this

[leejinkie]

hi! could u possibly link to sources explaining who mhj is/ her history? (im not saying this in a "let me see receipts way", i have just never heard of this before and had a passing interest in nwjns, so I'm incredibly disgusted

helloo yes! i dont think most people realise tbf which is unfortunate ,, and also the fact that shes quietly deleted the ig posts in question after the outrage.. its really telling

most of my sources were from pannchoa and the disqus comments, ill link a few articles (warnings for lolita movies, suggestive pics of underage girls, prostitution mentions, sexual innuendos, child exploitation and ofc pedophilia)

– Knets debate over whether Min Heejin is glamorizing p**dophilia

- TALKS GOING AROUND MIN HEEJIN AND NEWJEANS RIGHT NOW ft. OUTRAGE ABOUT OUTFITS

- MIN HEEJIN P*DO ACCUSATIONS CONTROVERSY DUMP ft. HYBE

- NEWJEANS COOKIE LYRICS CONTROVERSY TAKES OVER KOREA DUMP

these are the most in depth things i can find as the other twitter thread i saw has since been deleted. this covers pretty much everything til date, however theres this which is also very very weird

#newjeans #<- jic #ask

[lilbreed1ngdoll]

i cant tell if this one cook likes my sexual innuendos because he always just gives me a look and idk if theres an amused twinkle in his eye or if hes genuinely annoyed bc i tell a lot of them

#i literally made two today #and tbh im pretty proud of them

[fataleefemmee]

me.

if there is one thing that will drive me mad, its the people who claim to know me so well when they dont even know the surface of me. they will sit here and try to dissect my emotions and think that they have me all figured out. they will even go as far as to tell me how i am feeling, as if they know what runs through my head.

the surface layer: always smiling. the perception of her is always happy, she makes jokes any chance she gets. she gazes at you with her eyes wide and filled with flirtatious innuendos. she knows how to make you feel like its only you two in a crowded room. she listens, she asks the right questions, shes curious yet passionate with you in what you have to say. she will draw you in with her body language, giving you the pedestal to spew any nonsense you want, and she will make you feel as if you just solved all the problems in this world. you look at her and wonder where her energy radiates from, how does she wake up and manage to stay in the best mood? she lights up your day with her quirky fun fun-loving personality. you want to stop everything youre doing to talk to her, she relates with you on so many levels. shes open minded, doesnt argue, and makes 5 minutes feel like hours. you become obsessed with her presence, constantly craving her attention. but is that who she really is?

the inner layer: she hurts. she is numb, and there is a sadness lurking constantly in the back of her head. she jokes her way through conversation as a means of coping with her inner demons. she cant take anything seriously, because what is there to be serious about. she has experienced a lot in her short lifetime that will forever change her future, she tries her hardest each day to not let it affect her but she is an overthinker.. she questions everything, constantly expecting the worst, because when you expect the worst and it doesnt happen, youve already accepted the worst possible outcome and are now left with something much better. she listens because shes never heard, she list'll ens when no one asks her how she is. she rather take your burden than be the burden. she knows to wear her surface layer proud, because if she were to slip into her inner layer, theres a chance she wont come out. she hides her pain to herself, she rather be closed off and bottle it up to tuck it away than to be laid out on the open for everyone to see, she has a hard time processing the many thoughts that occupy her mind. she finds peace in music and writing, but no one knows its a mere distraction to the inevitable. she wont let you know you bothered her until it gets to the point of her losing it all and having to walk away. she hates tapping into her emotions because its a rabbit hole effect, and once shes down it can be hard to find the ladder. dont underestimate her smile, her laugh, you'll never see her cry... and if you do, then it truly is a shame on you.. to get her to cry is not something to ever be proud of. its her at her breaking point, contemplating to throw it all away... once that thought is there, it can be hard for it to go away.

[hannahsmusings]

Matt

*Martin gave you a warm smile as you thanked him, always liking that about you, you always thanked him even for doing the bare minimum things that were required of his job, nodding his head at you politely* Ever since that storm, I can brave any road. I needed to make sure you arrived in style, Hannah. *he smiled at you, watching as you and Matt climbed in before shutting the door and walking around to the driver’s side, finding it quite odd to see you and someone else sitting in the backseat, so used to seeing you and Jackson and the permeating chemistry and tension that was so obvious between the two of you, the car usually filled with such electric chemistry that Martin sometimes wanted to yell at you both to get it together*

*Matt’s head was held a bit higher as the driver referred to him as ‘sir’, that feeling insanely ridiculous but also made him feel like a proper adult, no one ever referring to him that way and he had to admit that he did like it* So fancy. *he mutters a bit as he climbs into the back of the car, it being the newest Rolls Royce’s, it feeling so luxurious and wealthy, Matt in pure awe as he took everything in* *he glance down at your hand as you took his, smiling and he interlocked your fingers, bringing your knuckles up to his lips and kissing them softly* *he hated with you for the ride, his nervous energy getting worse the closer you got to the venue, his jaw dropped and eyes nearly bulging out of his sockets as he sees the house in the distance as Martin turns to drive up the winding driveway, looking over at you* Wait… someone lives here? This is somebody’s home? We’re going in there? I imagined a conference hall or something, not… not this! *he was still dumbstruck as Martin got out of the car and came around to open the door, looking back at you, all the trepidation and anxiety clear in his eyes* What do I do? How do I act? There are photographers, Hannah! There are famous people here! *his hand squeezed yours a bit tighter, wanting you to tell him what to do, this being your world and he wanted to do the right thing*

_______________________________

*you were becoming jittery the closer you got, looking over at you curiously and squeezing your hand in reassurance as we pull up, still not quite used to places like this but my reaction wasn’t like yours, smiling a little as you panic and finding it endearing, glad you were seeing my job properly and understanding the stress that came with it* *looks up at Martin as he opens the door, squeezing your hand as you freak a bit* Hey, it’s okay. We’re not that important, I doubt they’ll take photos. Just smile and be polite and I’ll lead you in okay? It’ll be fine I promise. *smiles, realising in this moment how much of a natural Jackson was to do events like this all the time without even blinking, pressing a reassuring kiss to your cheek before I step out, thanking Martin as I squeeze your hand as you step beside me* Thanks again Martin, We’ll see you later? *nods at him before turning to you as we begin to approach* Ready? *asks with a smile before we head towards the steps, photographers turning to us and not paying much attention before they begin snapping photos, one of them shouting ‘that’s the assistant, Ford’s assistant!’* *theres a few snaps of me, hiding the surprise on my face as I hold your hand and walk up the stairs, offering them polite smiles before one calls out to me* ‘Can we credit you to the reason Jackson’s been smiling so much recently? Helping him manage his load?’ *the innuendo was clear, looking up at the comment and seeing the kinda creepy male photographer, having not realised the media had noticed Jackson’s change in mood, unaware of all the articles out there speculating his pleasantness and smile recently, him always being cold and abrupt before* *feels Matt tense and squeezing his hand, leading him up more urgently and turning to whisper to him* Don’t react. They’re looking for a headline shot. 

#hannah plot

[ceilingpancake]

Posting this here because im over them and dont want to have it in my phone anymore but also dont want to delete it because i don’t think it should be gone forever. This was a list of things i wrote that i missed about my ex while we were still together while i was on vacation. i told them id show it to them the next time we hung out in person, but we broke up before then. enjoy ! or don’t! i just need to have this somewhere i can find it

I missed you so much this month. I missed getting to be the only person who can stare at you and appreciate how beautiful you are and resting our foreheads together. holding you and being held and feeling your skin against mine and kissing you. listening to you ramble about your day and rambling back to you and laying next to you and holding your hand and hearing you breathe. Im going to be so insufferable and clingy when i get back. I miss getting to look in your eyes and watching them glimmer and shine in excitement anytime something makes you happy and i miss seeing your smile and watching you be so bouncy and giddy and seeing you cuddle badger. I miss your tight hugs and subtle touches and our nightly calls. Going to the park and the mall or hanging out with our friends. I miss hearing you try not to offend me when talking about people or things i care about and listening when i talk about things i care about even though you may not care because you know theyre important to me. i miss your bad jokes and innuendos and “vroom“ noises in the car. I miss you singing to music and your “mouth trumpet” and your road rage. I miss your sporadically placed sappy sweet cheesy moments and you talking about your never ending care for noah. i miss you divorcing lucas and being silly. i miss your obsession with jack black and capybaras and your willingness to forgive people when i never could. I miss your fake pouts and you buying the most wack ass energy drinks you find. i miss hearing about whatever new thing youve bought and you saying how youre feeling but saying that its how badger is feeling instead. I miss hearing you call me baby or hun or love and your little rants about how much you love me. I miss your eyelashes and your clinginess. Your rings and you fidgeting and talking about dnd campaign ideas and plans. Talking about theater and classes and your friends. You being insanely artistically talented and intelligent and going into in depth explanations about things youre doing or books youve read and hearing you talk about them like youve never been able to before, like theres so much excitement and information about it in your mind like if you dont share it you might explode. Hearing you make jokes about JFK’s ass in Clone High and telling me about Regular Show. You and Keira being morons together and your willingness to try almost any food (even when your allergic). I miss your non-offensive racist (that sounds so hypocritical) jokes. Your voice because its not the same over the phone. I miss your big gestures and movements and how loud and exaggerated you are. I miss your flannels and your lips. i miss you

[nonamem9]

warning: pdf file, very long not recommend to read

slept after eating lugaw this morning, got this vivid and very long and detailed dream

stepping to zack jerryringeverything's store, a place that appeared in a previous dream i felt like few or several years ago

he acts and looks a bit odd than his youtube persona as if he's hiding his disability, and he is starting to close down his shop because of lower sales, i asked about the sales pre pandemic vs now, it was 440k vs 110k. he talked about flash games are becoming popular again since theyre a bit easy and faster to download.

met this one kid (2d animated) and his blue floating animated bean friend (3d animation that looks like 2d)

i mentally called the bean guy an "imaginary friend" when he's physically real and can interact the world around him, just a lack of a better term at the moment.

we spotted a tricycle nearby us and inside the passenger area ifound tin can of tuna that shows a flash game called "s[something something here] x madelline" a giant futa fucking a tiny madeline, theres a note saying about the creator might've regretting this making it public before he got caught

this is where the plot starts to kick in

the animated kid and the animated bean dude talks about this mysterious guy being a fuckin weirdo to his friend that is a girl, she is dead

this is now an episodic tv show that the kid and the bean are the main character/narrator telling a story about the protagonist, i am merely the listener "reliving" the horrible memories of the crime that he witness slowly unfold, sometimes i am in there sometimes im just a reacting voice

back at the jerryrigeverything shop where other people just hang out and discuss stuff, back at the flash game talk and someone is playing one h flash game and the grandma knows the details and makes innuendos

we felt very weird so the 3 of us fuckin left and run, the blue bean esaping first in the speed of sound, then the kid, after him its me runnin

almost irrelevant cgi scene sequence on new york's grid city formation that doesn't stylistically fit the "real life/live action and 2d and 3d animation" aesthetic, spinning slowly built buildings with the name of the tower/complex like "twitchy city building" which is pathetically short for a "skyscraper"

back to the normal show

some flashbacks to the friend that became a victim and died

we're at what seems to be a store on a mixed use area, in the store is a photoshoot place of 3 people who are vtubers, one of them is the pdf file criminal, they're all 3d animated in this live action world, in the background tv behind the 3 i see mori calliope and silvervale, theyre likely not related to the three

i was holding a thin square box where it reflects and stuff, trying to hide n shit for some reason i dont remember, this scene is where we felt uncomfortable knowing that the disgusting guy is alive and still here, nobody knowing the past except us 3. (blue bean guy isnt in the photo iirc)

we got out

cut, that's it, a cut

other episode where i dont appear and is just a voice,kid retelling of the first day of school, for visualization's sake the school is just a grass field with tables, chairs, and other school supplies. i think this episode is just about meeting the girl and the friends they have, they're all in the same 2d animated style, nothing horrible happened its just another episode of meeting the characters from the past. kinda like the previous one is meeting the cast of the present times.

another episode that was supposedly in this dream, the 3rd one, didnt really appear or i didint remember

oh yeah the kid (in the present) is 14-15 and the victim girl is 16?? i think. i think as they get older they get more "detailed" and more refined sets of colours??? idk theyre more definitive as time goes on thats the gist, not really sure about the color part

woke up 11:04: am

what a heavy show concept, with an interesting look for some reason??

ive never had a dream this so long, vivid, and most importantly, conceptually consistent in my life what the hell.

#dreams