#And I love that he invited Sonny to come see his play & Sonny falling in love with his words | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

navalcriminalimagines · 3 years

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Birthday girl

I can't believe I did that, but here we are. This fits the "Multiple partners/gangbang" square from the Summer Bingo. With our favorite boys; Mike, Rafael, Sonny & Mike.

Words count: 3,9k

Warnings: Gangbang, p in v, creampie, spanking (slightly)

Sorry if there's any typos...

@thatesqcrush

You had a lot of hopes for your 30th birthday. Not just for the celebration itself but also in general. You thought that by now, you would be in a serious relationship, maybe with a kid or two, or at least planning on having one. You had many things you wanted to do before you were 30, but now that you think about it, you didn’t do much of those things. You’re actually far from it.

It just hurts to see people around you having their life together. Your best friend is married to a lovely man, she has a two year old boy and is pregnant with a second and she owns her business. Your sister - older than you - is traveling all around the world with her husband and their dog. And everytime you meet with your mother, it’s like she has to put pressure where it hurts. Every single time.

The only thing you can’t complain about is your job, and the people you work with. Being a detective at SVU is hard, it’s challenging, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. And you have the most amazing squad with you. Also, the most handsome men you ever met. Seriously. Mike, Sonny, Rafael, Nick. How could you not like your job when you see those faces 24/7?

You had expectations for your celebration party. You invited the squad to a beach house that you rented. They became your family, they are the ones you want to celebrate with. But little by little, it was falling apart. First, Amanda had to cancel since her sister is in town, and everyone knows Kim is a handful. Then, it was Liv turn. The day before, Noah got sick, so she decided to stay at home with him. That’s fair, Noah’s health first. And last but not least, your best friend and her husband canceled too. “No one to take care of the kid,” apparently. Is that what it is to have kids? Not having fun anymore? Cause if that’s it, maybe you don’t want one.

So, in the end, it’s just you and the boys. Not that you mind that thought at all.

You left early in the morning with Sonny. He offered to help you prepare the house, and go grocery shopping. “How’s the birthday girl?” he asked, gently as always.

“Kinda upset that everyone canceled. But I won’t let this ruin my day!”

“You’ll have fun anyway. We planned a few things with the guys,” he teased.

You spent the entire day annoying Sonny so he would talk. But he didn’t say a damn thing. Whatever they have prepared, you have no clue. It does stress you out a little but one thing is sure; you can trust them with your life.

Everything was ready when Mike, Nick and Rafael arrived. When Sonny opened the door to them, their arms were full. You saw booze, food, and gifts. Way too many gifts for one person. “What the hell is all of that?” you exclaimed when they dropped everything on the floor, in the living area.

“Everything we need to celebrate your 30th birthday. You will remember this weekend,” Mike said with a huge grin on his face. He walked up to you and hugged you softly. “Happy birthday Y/N,” he kissed your forehead.

Nick and Rafael did the same as Mike. Then, they quickly put their stuff in the bedrooms, before joining you and Sonny on the terrace, facing the ocean. The weather wasn’t the best, but you couldn’t care less.

“One rule for this weekend; not shop talk,” Nick warned and everyone agreed with it.

The evening started pretty smoothly. You were having drinks, eating the apéritif you and Sonny prepared earlier and chatting about nothing and everything. At some point, Rafael came back with a bottle of champagne and poured everyone a glass. “To our amazing Y/N,” he said, holding his glass in the air. “You probably have no idea what you mean to all of us and that’s actually what makes you even more lovable. We care about you more than you know. Happy birthday, querida,” he smiled and toast with you.

You looked at Rafael with puppy eyes. He and the three others know you’re not used to being praised like this, even though you deserve any less.

“This is nice! Mike, your turn,”

The sergeant obliged. He stood up and cleared his throat, “Everyone knows that me joining SVU was my dad’s idea, but honestly, I can’t thank him enough for making me. Cause now you’re in my life and girl, you won’t get rid of me. I can’t imagine my life without you, Y/N,” he paused, “and without those idiots either, but that’s not their birthdays,”

“You said it anyway,” Nick teased Mike.

“Shut up, Nick! Let him finish,” you elbowed Nick.

“Well, I was done actually. Happy birthday, honey,” he bent over to kiss your cheek and then toasted with you.

“I love you,” you mouthed to him. “Nick, now you can talk,” you were excited about this. The past weeks before your birthday hadn’t been easy, you overthink a lot about your life. You actually cried yourself to sleep the night before, but none of them know. Their words make you feel much better. You’re lucky to have them.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” he said before standing up, “We didn’t start on the right foot, you and me, probably because you never chewed your words with me and I hated it. But you were right on most of the things you ever told me. You’re - without a shadow of a doubt - the best friend I ever had. I can’t wait for us to fight like cats and dogs at the nursery home. Feliz cumpleaños, cariño,” he smiled at you and extended his glass so you could toast together, “Also, you’re hot as hell,”

It was an understatement to be honest, but Nick added this comment because he saw the tears forming in your eyes and he refused to see you cry on your birthday, because of something he said. Fortunately, it worked and you laughed instead of crying. “He’s right,” Rafael added with a wink. Of course, none of them missed how your cheeks turned bright red, even if you tried to play it cool.

“I guess it’s my turn now,” Sonny spoke and stood up. But he stayed silent for a moment, “What they said,” he simply said before sitting again.

Mike, Nick and Rafael immediately started to playfully boo him, “You suck man!” Nick exclaimed.

“You usually can’t shut up and now, that’s all you have to say?” Rafael teased him.

“Y/N should have the right to punish you,” Mike added.

“Oh yes, please! Can I punish you?” you eagerly asked.

“Oh honey,” Rafael grabbed your attention, “you don’t ask someone if you can punish them. You just do it,”

“I know, Rafi. But he’s a good catholic boy, remember? We can’t have him running out of the house, praying for our souls,”

“Y/N. You know Sonny is worse then all of us reunited,” Rafael said this so casually, he didn’t realize how it sounded.

“Dominick Carisi, you’re such a liar!” Mike shouted, “you told me you and Raf didn’t hook up!”

“Yeah well, about that? I lied,”

Sonny and Rafael exchanged sweet looks, while you were silently drinking your glass of champagne.. “Are you two dating or something?” Nick asked.

Rafael was about to say something, but Mike stood up in one quick motion and shouted even louder, “Oh my god!” The four of you looked at him, “I think what you should be asking, Nick, is if the three of them are a thing!”

One thing you hate about Mike is how he can read you like an open book. It was hard to hide from him, the night you had with Sonny and Rafael a few months ago. Now, there was no point to lie.

“I can’t believe you three hook up and didn’t say a damn thing,” Nick said.

“To be honest, I’m more offended about not being invited,” Mike added.

That’s how the night took a very different turn.

*****

“I think all the attention should be on the birthday girl,” Rafael said as he was unbuttoning his shirt. You and Sonny were kissing on one side of the couch while Mike and Nick were making out on the other side.

“Raf is right. To be fair, we have an entire weekend in this house,” Mike added.

In a matter of seconds, you were standing in the middle of the master bedroom, with the four men around you. “Mike and Nick need to know the safe word.” Rafael commented, and Sonny took his tongue out of your month to let you speak.

“Armadillo,” you said.

You can’t even begin to describe how you feel about all of this. Those four men just for you? All of their attention on you? That thought only could make cum on the spot. You had to remember the ground rules you had with Sonny and Rafael a few months ago, and the first one is not to overthink. You all know you can trust one another. You’re more safe with those four guys than with one single random guy.

Once the safe word was known to everyone, Sonny remained kissing you. You immediately granted access to his tongue, it was sloppy but passionate. Meanwhile, you felt a pair of hands taking off your top and another one taking care of your pants. “Matching underwear,” Mike commented, as he was the one staring, “You hoped for this, didn’t you?” You smiled against Sonny. You didn’t hope for a gangbang, but yes, you did hope to get lucky. But this was better than anything you hoped for.

“Of course, she did,” you heard Nick’s voice coming from behind you. He gently unhook your bra, freeing your tits and he didn’t waste a second before playing with them. Your nipples were already hard, craving for attention. “She knew she could have any of us,”

“Oh Nick, that’s worse than that. She knew she could have the four of us,” Rafael added, as one of his hands slided in your panties, feeling how hot and wet you were. “Guys, she is dripping,” he let the others know, and he gently started to tease your clit with his thumb.

As Sonny kept kissing you, Nick kept playing with your tits, and Rafael kept teasing your drenched entrance, Mike got undressed. You saw him from the corner of your eyes, and your attention quickly fell on his rock hard erection. He smiled when he noticed where you were looking and started to stroke himself. You locked eyes with him while tentatively trying to touch one of the guy's cock. Your hand landed on Sonny’s crotch and he groaned at the sensation, even through the fabric of his jeans. But Rafael used his free hand to grab your wrist. “Such a needy cock slut,” he said, right next to your ear.

“Maybe Sonny should replace his tongue with his cock,” Nick offered and he felt you nodding. So Sonny stopped kissing you, he briefly took a look at your swollen lips, and your naked body being taken care of by Rafael and Nick.

“Well, Mike, get closer,” Sonny said as he undressed himself, “She loves having two cocks in her mouth. Am I right, Y/N?”

Everything that was happening was too much, you struggled to find your words, so you nodded. But it wasn’t enough for them. “You want to hear you say it,” Mike said after he finally got closer to you.

“I--I want your cocks--” you moaned as Rafael finally entered your core with one finger, “in my month,” you moaned even more when Nick pinched both of your nipples, just enough to make it hurt, “All of them,” you finally added.

To make sure Rafael and Nick could still work on your body, Mike and Sonny stood up on the edge of the bed. Your face was right at their crotch. You took one cock in each hand, gently stroking them, “I think Mike should be first. I already know how your mouth feels,” you agreed and focused on Mike’s cock, but with your other hand still stroking Sonny’s. You softly licked the head, tasting the precum coming out, before taking him in your mouth. Mike let out a huge groan at the feeling, “Man, when was the last time you had a blowjob?” Nick joked.

“Way too long,” he managed to say.

You have to admit, it’s hard to give a good blowjob to a man, while two others are worshipping your body. But Rafael decided to withdraw his hand from your panties and quickly after, you felt a cold breeze as Nick’s hands and body drift away from you. “Don’t forget about Sonny, babygirl,” you heard from the other side of the room.

Your jaw is going to be sore as fuck in the morning as you opened your mouth as much as you could, to take both Sonny’s and Mike’s cocks in. Obviously, they can’t both fit in but it is mostly about playing with the heads and your tongue.

You jolted when you felt a very warm body against your back. You recognized Rafael’s smell. He was fully naked. He held your hips strongly, sliding his hard cock in your panties and stroking it against your ass. You felt his hot breath in your neck before he planted a few wet kisses there.

Your face was a mess. It was a mix of saliva and precum from both men. Your pussy was a mess too. You were so wet, you could feel it on your thighs. You kept sucking Sonny and Mike for a short moment before they made you stop. Mike got down from the bed and kissed you deeply, enjoying the mixture that was there.

Someone finally took your panties off, you don’t know who and you couldn’t care less. You were desperate to be fucked.

*****

The first to get inside you was Nick. You were lying on the bed, a complete mess already, and Nick got on top of you. He gently kissed you, teased your entrance for a short moment before sinking inside your pussy in a slow motion. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned as he bottomed out. He started to thrust you, slow and deep at first.

The sounds you were making were such a turn on to the four men. As Nick was fucking you good, you had no idea where Mike, Sonny and Rafael were, until you felt someone climbing on the bed. When you opened your eyes, you saw Rafael’s face above you and his cock was a few inches from your mouth. “Open that pretty mouth for me,” he said and you obliged. As Nick was fucking your pussy, Rafael was facefucking you. And this was a lot to handle. It didn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm coming up. Your cries were muffled by Rafael’s thick cock as you came, and it brought him an overwhelming sensation that made him groan hard. “Such a good girl, creaming my cock like this,” Nick said. He wasn’t far from coming either. He buried his face in your neck, and he felt your nails crashing on his skull. It took a few more thrusts before he loaded his hot cum inside you, crying out your name.

He stayed on top of you for a moment before pulling out, at the same time Rafael stopped facefucking you and you cried at the emptiness.

“Someone doesn’t like to feel empty?” It was Sonny who talked. He was sitting next to you and he pushed two fingers inside your pussy, taking Nick’s cum back where it belonged. Your body arched at the feeling and you moaned deeply. “So worked up already. But we’re not done with you,”

“You better not,” you laughed.

“Oh, she’s teasing!” Mike exclaimed. “Babygirl, when we're done with you, you won’t be able to sit for weeks. Everyone at the precinct will wonder what happened during the weekend,” he kissed you while Sonny added a third finger inside your core. You felt a second orgams building inside your belly.

“You better not come on Sonny’s fingers,” Rafael warned you, “You’re only allowed to come on our cocks,” you found him in the room and locked eyes with him.

You knew from his expression what he was waiting for, “Yes, sir,” you agreed.

“That’s our good girl,”

Then it was Sonny’s. The man has a soft spot for a good doggy style, so he ordered you to get on all fours and you obeyed. He stroked his cock between your ass cheeks for a moment before sliding inside you so easily. “God, you take us so well, baby,” he said as he started to thrust. He was faster than Nick, and you know from experience that Sonny has incredible stamina. He can rock inside you hard and fast for a long moment.

“You feel so good inside me,” you moaned, “Fuck, Sonny! Yes!”

“That’s right, take that cock, doll,” he said, slamming harder.

As you grabbed the sheets into your fists, you felt someone crawling under you. It was Nick. He laid down and brought your mouth to his in an eager kiss. Sonny kept fucking you, his hands were strongly holding your hips, so you understood it was someone else that spank you. Mike or Rafael, you didn’t know - although, you had an idea; Rafael does love to spank you - and you cried inside Nick’s mouth. Then you felt someone grabbing your arms to lock them in your back. Nick held you close against him, stroking your hair as your second orgasm hit you hard.

Feeling your pussy clenching around his cock, and hearing you cursing non sense, sent Sonny over the edge. He almost collapsed on you as he came deep inside you.

You felt the emptiness when Sonny took his cock out of you but it was quickly filled by someone’s fingers. You were just a pile of lambs on Nick, but you jolted when one of them curled two fingers inside your pussy. “You love that, don’t you? Nick’s and Sonny’s cum mixing inside you,” You don’t know if that’s Rafael that is fingering you but he’s the one talking. You were still catching your breath when the fingers were replaced by a cock teasing your entrance.

“Do you want to keep going, babygirl? We can st--”

“I didn’t say the word, did I, Mike?” you shot.

“Right. Then it’s my turn to fill that pussy,” he didn’t give you the time to answer, he shoved his cock inside your cunt.

“Oh fuck! Mike, yes!”” you cried.

Nick stayed under you as Mike fucked you hard. Mike’s short nails scratched your back as he went in and out of you. He withdrew completely before sinking back and bottoming down. He did that a few times, enjoying your noises every time he hit your sweet spot. “Damn, that pussy is so perfect,” he growled.

“It was made for us,” Sonny said.

On your left, you saw Rafael standing there, stroking his cock as he watched Mike fucking you. You extended your hand to replace his and he let you. “You can’t get enough,” he teased you.

“Never,” you grinned.

Mike grabbed your hair in his fist, bringing your back to his chest. That new angle almost sent you over the edge again. “Holy shit, this feels amazing,” you breathed out. You didn’t notice the look Rafael and Sonny exchanged. You sloppily kept stroking Rafael, while Sonny’s hand found its way to your clit. Mike had to hold you close to him as a third orgasm arrived.

Nick was still laying on the bed, an arm under his head. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s like my very own porn movie,”

“Get ready to take a new part in it,” Sonny winked at him.

“Working on it,” he said, stroking his semi hard cock.

Sonny chuckled before burying his face in your chest. He sucked on your nipples, and kept playing with your clit. “Jesus, fuck! I--I’m--coming,” you managed to say as your third orgasm hit. You held onto Sonny’s shoulder for dear life, Mike was slamming so hard and fast inside you, chasing his own orgasm. He bit your shoulder as he emptied himself deep inside you, adding his semence to Sonny’s and Nick’s.

You collapsed in Sonny’s arms and he gently laid you on the bed, next to Nick. Mike was catching his breath on the edge of the bed. “Water,” you managed to say.

Not that it mattered, but Nick seems to be the best for the aftercare. He gently stroked your hair, and planted sweet kisses all over your face. Sonny came back with water for everyone. All of this is more than amazing, this can’t be compared to anything you ever experienced before but you gladly enjoyed the water break.

As you were sitting on the bed, Rafael grabbed your face to kiss you. It was soft, almost loving. Your hands traveled his hairy chest as you granted access to his tongue. You fell on your back, taking him with you. “You okay?” he whispered.

“Never better. Fuck me, Raf,”

On the other side of the bed, Nick chuckled. “Three cocks, three orgasms and she is still asking for it. You’re such a pretty slut, Y/N, aren't you?”

“I’m your slut. To the four of you,” you smiled at him.

Rafael teased your entrance with his cock as he was kissing and nipping your neck. Your pussy was a wet and sticky mess. The other men fucked you open, Rafael slided inside you so easily. To be honest, he wasn’t far from coming already after everything he witnessed and you wrapped him so perfectly, it was overwhelming.

You moaned loudly in his ear, your nails digging in his skull. As he thrusted into you, he couldn’t help but to slap your thigh, since he can’t reach your ass for a proper spank. But you could reach his, so you returned the favor. It took him by surprise, so did the growl he let out. “Someone likes to be spank,” Sonny commented, before duplicating your action on Rafael’s ass.

Another spank, but this time from Mike. And one from Nick. You loved having all the attention from the guys, but you have to admit that this brings something else to you. Hopefully this will be repeated before you go back to New York, but this time, this will be an orgy, instead of a gangbang.

You bit Rafael’s bottom lip, as he thrusted fast and hard inside you. “Give it to me, Raf. I need you to cum inside me, just like them,” he crashed his lips on yours, as a hand traveled between the two of you to play with your clit. You were oversensitive, and exhausted, you weren’t sure you could have a fourth orgasm before it hit you. You wrapped your arms around Rafael’s neck, “That’s right, babygirl, let it go. Cum on my cock,” he said in your ear, huskily.

That was exactly what you needed to cum one more time. Rafael’s thrusts became sloppy as he chased his relief. Finally, he added his liquid to the mixture and collapsed on you.

*****

“I have to admit, I’m so glad everyone else canceled,” you confessed, laying like a sea star on the bed. Obviously, the four men agreed with you.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” they all said at the same time.

Best fucking birthday ever.

#thatesqcrushsummerbingo #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader #nick amaro x reader #mike dodds x reader

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plaidbooks · 3 years

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Cabin Life - First Time

A/N: Here’s a part three to woodsman!Sonny! I love him so much, okay? Once again, a special shoutout to @berniesilvas who spawned all of this and kept the thought process going! This also loosely covers the Fireplace square in @storiesofsvu fall bingo (I hope haha!)

Tags: smut, p in v sex, very little bit of cum play/eating, but not much

Words: 1980

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

As the months turned chillier and snowier, you found yourself drawn to Sonny for warmth. He, of course, wouldn’t make you walk to his place in that cold; he had an ATV that he’d ride to pick you up, with an extra helmet for you. Sometimes, you went into town, eating at a local diner together, or watching a movie. Other times, you went to his place. He’d make you dinner, and you’d both talk about life, philosophy, your hopes and dreams, anything really.

You noticed that all of his utensils were made of wood, and you finally asked, “did you make these?”

He glanced at the wooden spoon in his hand that he was currently using to stir some sort of heavenly-smelling gravy. “Oh, uh, yeah, I did. My pa taught me to woodwork as a kid. I love whittlin’ more than anything else.” Besides you…he didn’t say it out loud, but you could still hear the words.

You and Sonny still hadn’t said that little four lettered word yet, but you knew it was true. It was there in the way he smiled at you, the way he draped his jacket over your shoulders when you shivered, the way he kissed your cheek.

“That’s adorable; I love that. Have you tried selling anything you’ve whittled?” you asked.

He shook his head, glancing at you before going back to cooking. “Nah; no one here needs any of these things. Besides, I don’t feel right sellin’ ‘em; they’re somethin’ personal, made as gifts for specific people.”

Your heart fluttered; that was probably the cutest thing you’d ever heard.

************************

Dinner was delicious; Sonny had cooked fish from the stream by his cabin, seasoning it with his own herbs and a sauce he had made from scratch. The side dish was sauteed vegetables from his garden. You wished that you could eat it all again as soon as you finished.

If I marry him, I could eat his meals for the rest of my life…you thought, then felt heat in your cheeks.

“Are ya okay? Too warm?” he asked, moving to pull the blanket from your lap. You were nestled with him on the couch, staying warm by the fireplace and the blanket.

“O-oh! No, I’m fine, sorry—”

“Are ya cold? I have another blanket on my bed that I can go grab—”

“Really, I’m fine. Thank you,” you replied, flustered. Desperate to change the subject, you asked, “wait, do you only have one blanket besides your bedding?”

He blinked at you. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes! Sonny, babe, it gets cold here! I know it’s only been light snow, but it’ll get heavier,” you explained.

He grinned. “That’s why I have the fireplace, blanket, and heavy jackets.”

You rolled your eyes in exasperation. “That might not be enough.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

You wanted to argue more, but you already had an idea forming in your mind. So, you let it go, resolving to visit your supply of wool from the last sheep shearing your parents did.

*************************

It was hard keeping your project a secret from Sonny, especially since you were determined to see him before the blizzards started. Your time was spent either at your loom, or with Sonny at his place. But finally, your gift to him was done, and just before the weather took a turn.

A huge storm was said to be coming through, so you spent the last supposedly clear night at his place, intending to hunker down at home throughout the blizzard. You showed up on his doorstep with a huge bundle of wool material in your arms.

“What’s all this?” Sonny asked as you came inside. He had an open-door policy; he didn’t lock his door during the day, inviting people to just come on in. You were sure he wouldn’t lock it at night, either, if it wasn’t for bears.

You dropped the material on the back of his couch. “I thought you may like some of these during the storm,” you explained. You lifted a blue blanket—you had blue like his eyes, green, red, and yellow—to show him, and he took it, running his fingers over the softness.

“I—I don’t want ya family to be without….”

You smiled at him. “Oh no; we have so many blankets. Besides, I made them for you; there’s four total.”

“Wait…ya made these?”

Your grin grew. “I did; my parents are sheep shepherds. I have a loom, and I make my own dyes. I love making blankets, curtains, jackets—”

“I love ya,” Sonny said, awe filling his voice. He placed the blanket back on his couch, turning to face you, your eyes wide at his confession. “I love ya, doll. I really do; I love ya more than anythin’—”

You cut him off with a hug that almost knocked him off his feet. “Do you love me more than whittling?” you teased, leaning back to smirk at him.

“Absolutely, I do—”

He didn’t get much more to say before you were lifting to your tiptoes, kissing him deeply. He leaned forward into you, crushing your lips in a bruising kiss, his arms wrapping around you.

“Thank ya fer the blankets,” he murmured against your lips before kissing you again. You hummed back, your hand trailing from his chest, heading south. When you cupped his growing bulge, he leaned back, searching your face through heavily lidded eyes.

“Bedroom?” he huffed out.

“Here, now,” you replied, kissing him again. He groaned into your mouth as you rubbed him, fingers gripping him gently.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from you. “I can wash these blankets, right?” he asked.

Confused, you nodded. He took one blanket, placing it on the couch cushions. Then he took two more, laying them down on the floor in front of the fireplace. Finally, he shrugged out of his shirt and jacket, and your eyes widened at the corded muscles in his lean body. He had always worn such baggy clothing, you had no idea what he looked like underneath it all…outside of your first date, when he had a tight shirt on.

Sonny caught you staring and smirked, eyes watching you as he undid his belt. You suddenly felt over dressed, and you quickly stripped your clothes as he pulled his pants and underwear down and off. He froze when he saw you, eyes obviously scanning your body, your eyes doing the same to him. You felt your mouth water at the sight of his long cock standing erect.

“Ya look beautiful…absolutely stunning, doll,” he murmured. Your heart fluttered as your cheeks heated. “Lay by the fire,” he ordered softly. You did as he asked, and he took the last blanket, wrapping it around his bare shoulders. You had made sure to make the blankets huge, and you were happy to see it was long enough for his tall body.

Slowly, Sonny came to stand by your feet before lowering his body down over you. He cocooned your body in warmth from him and from the blanket, the wool soft on your skin. He smiled down at you, cupping your cheek, before he kissed you deeply. You wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you.

You didn’t need to beg for him; it was like he could sense what you needed, and what you needed was him inside you. He angled his hips so that the tip was pushing through your folds, and you spread your legs wider for him. He nipped your lip, then leaned back to watch your face as he pushed inch after inch into you. Your jaw dropped open at the feel of him stretching you, and you gasped his name, your nails leaving little crescent marks in his skin.

He stopped once he was fully inside you, waiting for you to give him the okay. You nodded, breathing out a soft, “I’m ready,” before he pulled out slowly, and gingerly pushed back in.

Your body was like a livewire, jolting with every touch he gave you. And boy, did he not stop touching you. His pace was slow, sensual, like he wanted to make love to you all night long. And his mouth was everywhere, kissing and licking your skin, sucking marks into you, his beard creating a delicious burn everywhere it touched.

He whispered sweet words to you, praising your very existence, and telling you how much he loves you. He gushed about what he wants his future to be, and every moment of it involved you in some way.

“I want ta grow old with ya, doll. I knew from the moment I met ya that I wanted ta be ya husband. I want ta support ya, make all ya dreams come true. I want ya, now and forever,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, and you gasped. “Ya don’t haveta say it back yet—”

“I love you, Sonny. Fuck, I love you so much. And I would be honored to marry s—someone like you,” you choked out, a moan escaping your lips.

He rose himself onto his elbow to look down at you before he kissed you, swallowing your moans as he moved faster. One of his hands wiggled between your bodies, and the rough pad of his thumb found your swollen clit. His lips stayed on yours as he stroked you, your orgasm building quickly.

Sonny leaned back just enough to whisper against your lips, “let go fer me, doll; I’m there, too.” He continued stroking you, kissing your jaw, and you squeezed your eyes shut, gasping and moaning as he coaxed your orgasm from you. You gripped his biceps hard enough to bruise, and just as you started to come down, he huffed out a breath, along with your name. His cock twitched inside you, and he quickly pulled out. He barely wrapped his hand around himself before he was shooting his release onto your belly, his jaw dropping in a silent moan. You panted as his hot seed landed on your skin, and he stroked out every last drop.

“L—let me get a washcloth,” he muttered, but before he could so much as lean back, you ran your finger through his release, then licked it, moaning softly at the taste. His eyes darkened, and you thought he was about to shove you onto the floor and fuck your brains out, but he instead stood, heading for his bathroom.

The fire burning next to you was warm, but even that couldn’t stop the chill that ran through you from the cold, winter air. You suddenly realized why he had put that blanket on the couch cushions, and you reached for it just as he came back.

“Hold on; lemme clean ya before I bundle ya up,” he said, squatting down. He had soaked the washcloth in hot water, and the warmth as he wiped his release from you made goosebumps appear. Once done, he helped you stand.

“Hold,” he ordered, giving you an end of the blanket. You took it, and he walked around you, wrapping you tightly in the material. Sonny gestured for you to sit, and you did, collapsing onto his couch, swaddled, warm, and in love. He wrapped himself in the other blanket before sitting down next to you.

“I love you, Sonny,” you muttered, leaning against him.

He grinned, nuzzling as well as he could against you. “I love ya, too, doll. Let’s just relax for a little bit ‘fore I take ya home fer the night.”

You agreed, then unwrapped yourself. He rose an eyebrow to look at you, and you opened his blanket before scooting against his naked body, then rewrapped the blankets around you. His smile grew, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his side.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #storiesofsvufallbingo

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darktammy · 4 years

Text

It’s My Decision (part 4)

Don’t own this gif

Warning: Depression break ups in this chapter.

@beenlovingromansincedayoneish @sassymox @living-the-life-1996 @bluepunkrock @moxslilangel2020 @moxleybabe @moxleymaniac @hoodiemox @wrestlingxbalorxrollins @jazzy-tzw @ilovesamizayn @thatwrestlingfan91

You had less than two weeks for your wedding with Amy. You got your wedding dress ready as for the guest list you already had all the names down and where they were going to be. “Must be hard to set things up uh sweet thing?” You look up to see Sonny kiss. “Yeah I mean it’s hard I have my dress Amy has her white suit, I have the flowers, I mean everything is going to be all white.” Sonny laugh, sweetie I’m going to be the only one who’s going to be wearing pink cuz nuh uh.” You both laugh. “Ok you can wear pink. I don’t care as long as you're happy I’m happy.” You said with a little sassy in your voice.

You and Jon were walking backstage ready for his match. “So yeah I got the wedding invitation from your finance Amy. I can’t wait to see how this goes.” You smiled looking up at Jon. “Yeah me too. I mean it’s all so fast and I mean I was not ready for it, but Jon I love Amy so much. I’ll die for her.” You said with passion in your voice. Jon smiled as he gave you a side hug. The both of you started to walk as his music hits. You were so happy to see him with that title and he was a long time champion with the title.

After the show was over you made it back to the hotel. Once you made it inside by surprise you looked in and saw Amy sitting on the bed wearing her favorite black two piece bra and panty. You smile as you walk right in. “Now baby did you miss me.” Amy said. You drop your bag as you smile and walk up to her. “You're damn right I did.” You said with a smile. “Does my little princess want me to please her.” She said standing up. You smile as you start to take your clothes off. “Yes my queen, I want you, I want you so bad.” You got down on all four as you looked up at Amy. She smiled at you until you both heard some noise outside your door. “Yo, keep it down, the fun is about to start.” You got up and walked to the door opening it seeing Jon, Chris, and Brian cage all fall into the room. “Really you guys!” you yelled. They got up and walked out of the room. “Hey you know if you need anyone to judge how you ladies work we’re here…” Jericho said as you slam the door on their face making Amy laugh. “Now back what we were doing.

Seth was sitting in his coffee shop waiting for Murphy to come in with some news about Amy. “Hey there buddy how’s Becky and the baby?” he asked. “She’s fine, all she keeps talking about is how she can’t wait to get back into the ring. But anyways what you got on Amy?” Seth asks. Murphy smiled as he showed Seth some pictures of Amy with another man. “Dude this is her cousin Tony.” Seth looked at Murphy. “Nah look who’s next to her very closely.” Murphy points at none other than Adam page.” Seth stood up with a smile as he looked at the other pictures of them hugging. “You did great Murphy, this is what I need to expose Amy for who she is.” Seth pat him in the back.

You were walking backstage getting ready to walk out with Jon until you heard a voice, a voice that made you walk a little fast just to stop and see her. “Renee?” You said making her look back at you. She too was in shock as she saw you in person. “You little bitch!” Making everyone look at the both of you. You left me for some guy right? Right after you us me to get away from Finn Balor right?!” you yelled out loud. Everyone including Tony looks at you. “Yeah I know because I spoke to Finn, you know what he said to me?” You were filled with anger. “You know Finn was a liar. I did nothing with him, just like how I have no idea what you're talking about Y/n!” Renee yelled. “Don’t you lie you whore you got fuck by Finn then you ran to me, use me just so Finn can leave you alone, because of what? All because you ruin a happy relationship with him and Cathy Kelly!” Renee slapped you across the face. You look back at her with rage in your eyes as you slapped her right back in her face this time with force behind it. You were so mad that you even attacked her, making everyone, even Tony, get involved by separating the both of you.

“Enough the both of Y/n just stop it alright! Tony said holding you back. Jon ran in as he saw what happened to Renee. “Babe are you alright?” Jon said. You stop just to realize that Renee left you for him, your best friend Jon. “You know what fuck the both of you.” You scream out loud as you pull away from Tony. Then you walk away heading back to the hotel.

Amy was at home making plans for the wedding when she saw her phone ring. It was Tony calling. “Hey.” She said. “Yeah Amy it’s Y/n I’m just going to tell straight up, I’m gonna have to suspend her for two week.” Tony told Amy. “What why? What did she do?” Amy asks. Tony explains what happened with Y/n and Renee. “Oh god I knew this would happen she told me what happened with her and Renee. Alright Tony thank you for telling me.” Amy said as she ended the call. Amy sighs, “Oh Y/n why now?” She said to herself.

You had all your things pack up and ready to go until you heard a knock at your door. You walk to the door opening to see an angry Jon Moxley. You on the other hand was in the mood so you tried to close the door on Jon only for him to stop the door from closing on him. “I’m not in the fucking mood Jon.” You said walking away from him. He walks into your as he slams the door behind him making you jump a little. “Why in the fuck did you attack my fiance for uh?” You look up at Jon as you walk up to him. “She used me to get away from Finn, or did she not tell you that?” Jon shook his head. “Finn uses her?” You look back as you yelled from the top of your lungs. “She ended their relationship then used me to get away from Finn. Do you know why, because Finn called it quits with Cathy!” You yelled, making Jon stop and look at you. “Then she left me for you.” You said trying not to cry as you grab your bags. “You know if you want to hear the rest of the story you should talk to Renee, I have to go now.” Jon grabs you by the arm. “Tell me everything that happens with you and Renee.” He asked.

You remember when Renee was walking fast, so fast that she bumped right into you making you drop your coffee on the floor. “Uh really?” You look down then back up at the women with short blond hair with brown eyes. She smiled at you and she hugged you. “Ok what’s going on?” You asked. She looked into your eyes then she gave you a soft kiss on your lips. Not even thinking you kiss her back. Then you stop as you look at her with a smile. “Ok now there has to be something really going on here.” Renee shook her head, “No not really just really like you when I first saw you, I...i just didn’t know how to say it or do it I guess.” You laugh as you take her hand and walk with her. You told everyone backstage in nxt about what happened with you and Renee and how much you're in love with her. Some don’t buy that Renee was bi, but you didn’t listen to them.

You were walking in the park one time waiting for Renee to meet up with you. It was already a month in your relationship, you had flowers with a card in it about how much she made your world. Then you saw him Finn walking up. “Oh Y/n we need to talk about Renee.” With a deep Irish accent. You sigh as you stop. “Look Finn, she doesn't want you anymore ok just let her go.” You begged him. He shook his head as he looked down at you. “She’s only using your love just so she can get away from me. Sooner or later she is going to leave you for someone else. I broke it off with Cathy for her.” You shook your head as you looked up at him. “Finn, that was on you for ending what you had, and to make it worse Cathy left the company after that. Finn Renee loves me. She tells me that everyday, she shows me that everyday we even made love with each other.” Finn looked down at you, “I’m telling you right now the day she breaks your heart just remember I told you so.” Finn said walking away from you.

You were sitting backstage after your match with Shayna, the both of you were laughing having a good time talking about the match. “So did you hear what happened with Renee, she left.” You look up at her, “What?” You asked. “Yeah she left right after a few of the other guys left the company.” You were in shock from the news. You made it back home you tried to call her but it said the number you had dialed was no longer in serves. Finn was right, she only used you to get away from him. You started to cry as you looked down at the floor in your bedroom. “That bitch!” was all you could say over and over again. You were in the back of the locker room trying your hardest not to cry. How could Renee just use you then get rid of you like rag cloth. You were in tears then you felt some strong hands hug you from behind. “It’s ok love I know the feeling.” Finn with a soft voice easing your pain. “I told you Y/n she was only using us and now we're both broken.” You turn around to face him with tears in your eyes. You gave Finn a tight hug as he did the same.

“So you see Jon that’s why I was so mad at her. Renee fuck me over and ruined someone else happiness.” You said trying to hold back your tears. Jon gave you a hug. “I’m so sorry to hear about that Y/n. I wish I knew at that time she was playing the both of us.” You look up at him confused. “You see while she was dating you, she was seeing me behind your back.” You covered your face with your hands as you started to cry. “I know Y/n, I should have known something was up with her. Every time she had to go to florida because they said so, but really it was to see you.” Jon got down on his knees just to face you, he slowly pulled both of your hands away from your face. “Y/n I’m so sorry for what happened to you and Finn.” You nodded your head a little. “I’m so sorry too Jon. I’m sorry for hurting your..” without warning Jon lean in kissing you on the lips. You were surprised by him, but you fought it off. “Jon! What the hell is wrong with you?” You said getting up. He got up as he started to look around. “I don’t know I’m sorry Y/n I really am.” You shook your head as you grabbed your bags. “Jon just go home ok we won’t speak about this.” He agreed by nodding his head then you walked out the door.

Becky was looking for some baby clothes online when she heard Seth laughing in the living space of their home. She got up just to walk out of the bedroom to hear what Seth was talking about. “Yeah good job Murphy now let’s see if that bitch Amy gets what’s coming to her. Let’s see how faithful she really is. Once Y/n see’s those pictures of Amy and Adam page.” He started to laugh. While Becky just had a smile on her. “Good job love.” she said walking back into the bedroom.

Jon and Renee made home. The both didn’t even speak to one another. “Jon can you talk to me please.” Renee said as she looked back at him. All Jon did was walk up the stairs and in the bathroom. She sighs as she walks up to the bedroom. After Jon was done all he had on was his shorts. Renee uses the other bathroom just so she can freshen up. After she was done she looked to see Jon was not in the same room as her. “Jon!” Renee yelled as she walked out of their bedroom. Jon was sitting on the couch watching tv as Renee walked up to him. “I’m just watching tv get some sleep.” He told her. She sat down next to him while keeping her eyes on him. “Jon what is wrong with you? Talk to me honey what’s wrong?” Jon sat up then he turned his head to her. “Did you sleep with Finn?” Renee’s eyes widened from those words that came out of his mouth. “Renee just answered the question.” He asked. “I can’t believe you Jon, why would you even ask something like that?” Renee asked. “Jon nodded his head as he got up. “Jon wait.” She said, making him sit back down. “OK it’s true me and Finn had a one night stand, but I didn’t know he was dating Cathay at the time.” Jon looked down for a moment. “What happened after you and Finn Renee?” She looked down, “I started seeing Y/n, I didn’t know she was going to fall in love with me. Yeah she said it a few times, but I thought she was just kidding about it.” Renee looks back at Jon to see what his reaction would be. All Jon did was get up and walk into the kitchen.

Jon grabs a beer from the fridge, cracks it open and starts to drink from it. Renee follows him as she stands here. “Jon you have not said a word what’s wrong?!” she yelled. He slams his beer bottle on the table. “You lied Renee! That’s what it was. I had an idea you were seeing Y/n behind my back!” Jon said walk out of the kitchen. “I told you Jon I didn’t know she was for real about it.” Jon looked back at Renee, “So you were using her right? To get away from Finn right? Then you got with me just so you can get away from Y/n am I right Renee?” She stops as she looks at, Jon not saying a word. “I guess silence is the answer.” Jon spoke his words, then he walked up the bedroom. Renee walked back into the living space sitting down as she started to think about what she had told Jon. “I know it was Y/n, she just could let this shit go! I swear I’m going to kill that bitch.” She said to herself.

Amy was walking back and forth most of the night wondering if you were ok. She keeps looking at her phone to see if you saw any of the missed calls that she left you. “Come on where are you babe?” She keeps asking herself. A knock came at the door Amy ran to the door she opened it just to see you standing there holding a brown envelope. Big enough to hold pictures. “I’m done with you Amy.” You told her handing her the envelope. Amy was in shock from your words. “What are you talking about Y/n?” All you did was walk back to the car, Amy started to run after you. “Now stop it Y/n why are you saying that.” As she grabs you by your arm. You look at her trying not to get mad. “You slept with Adam didn’t you?” You asked her. Amy eyes widen then she looks at the envelope. “Yeah those pictures, those the both of you going out then walking into a hotel, together!” You yelled. “I’m sorry Y/n, but it was not what you think.” Amy begged. You had heard enough, you got back into your car and drove off. Leaving poor Amy to cry in the drive away.

Next morning Tony, Kenny, Cody, Brandi, and Adam were all at Amy’s house. “Someone took these pictures of me and you Adam, and it made her think we had an affair.” Adam looks at the pictures then he passes them to Tony. “Do you have anyone who could have done this?” Kenny asks. Amy shook her head. “Hold on here for a second.” Brandi said. “How come we were not in the photo babe?” Brandi showing Cody one of the pictures of Amy standing next Adam. Tony looked at one of the photos to see some of them were edited to where it was just Amy and Adam. “Someone really hates you Amy, and I think I might know who that someone is.” Tony looked at her. “Who then?” She begged for the answer. All of them said it at once. “Seth!”

You were still laying in bed looking out the window as you started to think about what to do now. You left your old apartment, you're now suspended for two weeks, maybe even worse fired, because Tony is her cousin. Too many things were running through your head. Then you heard a knock on your door. “Come in.” The door opens as you turn. “Hey there sweet cheeks are you alright?” Shane asks. You smiled at him as you sat up in bed. “Yeah i’ll be ok, thanks for letting me stay for a little while. Until I get my own place that is.” Shane smiled as he walked into the room. “Hey it’s ok Y/n, were good friends I mean after what happened with my dad and all, but were good friends.” You smiled a little. “Hey come down stairs and let's eat some breakfast alright? That might cheer you up.” You smiled as you got up with Shane.

Roman got the call from Jon about what happened with you and he too started to worry about you. “Alright right now I just told a few of my buddies about this, and right now Seth keeps on saying he has nothing to do with this.” Roman sat back down putting his hands over his face. “Hey laid she’ll come up, all we have to do is ask around to see if anyone has ever spoken with her.” Finn said in a smooth Irish accent. “Yeah she was family before she got fired.” Bayley told Roman. “Hey if me and Bayley hear from her we'll call as fast as we can ok.” Sasha told Roman. He nodded his head as he watched them leave. “Damn it Y/n where are you?” Roman asked himself.

A Week has gone, and you were looking at your phone seeing pictures of you and Amy and you thought to yourself how much you miss her, but you don’t know if you can believe in her again. You saw your phone rang again showing her name and you didn’t answer it. “Hey there baby girl.” You look up to see Shane. “Hey there what’s up.” You need to stay in, my dad is down stairs.” You stood up as you looked around. “Hey shut off your phone and just wait until the coast is clear alright?” You nodded as you put your phone on vibrate. Shane left the room closing your door. “Damn it.” You said.

Amy was sitting at home feeling depressed from all this mess. “Maybe it was karma.” Tony looked at her. “What do you mean?” She looked at him. “I was only trying to use Y/n Tony.” Tony's eyes widened. “What?” Amy nodded her head. “I was trying to marry her so that way I won’t marry this man that mom & dad set up for me. I guess now I have no choice, but to walk down the aisle with him.” Tony was confused and mad at the same time. “Really Amy you knew she was heart broken from an asshole no i’m sorry from two assholes from her past. Now you are the third?” Amy looked down with tears falling from her eyes. “You know what you're right, it's karma. I love ya, but this I’m sorry I’m out.” Tony said as he got up and walked out the door. Amy started balling as Tony walked out now seeing that she was all alone.

#tony khan #shane mcmahon #roman reigns #jon moxely x reader #jon moxley #seth rollins #seth rollins x becky lynch #renee young x reader #Renee Young #dean ambrose x renee young #cody rhodes #brandi rhodes #aew fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #sonnykiss #adam page #Kenny Omega #finn balor x reader

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redthreadoffate · 4 years

Text

fluttering [sonny carisi]

relationship: sonny carisi x reader

warnings: mistakes here and there, i have never been married

requested by: anon

notes: hello dear anon! okay, so last non-confident fic, i swear. i may have focused on y/n a bit too much but i swear the latter parts are really cute. i think. if you don’t like it, please tell me so i know what i can work on! thank you!

summary: you didn’t see y/n y/l/n. you saw y/n carisi.

It was a big day. The big day. As in, the wedding day. Your wedding day, to be exact. It was the start of a new life for you.

And hell were you never so nervous your whole life.

It wasn't a bad kind of nervousness. It was a good one. You were going to marry the love of your life! You've been waiting for this!

Sure, you were a little younger than him, and maybe some people would say that you don't deserve such a man, but that didn't matter. Okay, that’s a lie, maybe it did to you. But not to Sonny. He loved you, and you knew that.

You got out of bed and didn't bother looking at yourself in the mirror. You were going to get fixed later anyway. As you were about to turn the knob of your door, you realized your hand was shaking.

"It's going to be okay," you whispered. "It's going to be okay."

When you've calmed, you opened the door and headed down the stairs. For the wedding, you decided to stay at your parents' home. It would look nice in the photos. And really, you loved them.

You entered the kitchen and saw everyone hustling and bustling around. Your parents were walking around and your older brother was eating cereal, his back hunched as he dug his spoon inside the bowl to eat.

Your mom had her cellphone in hand, dialing some numbers and muttering words you couldn't hear, while your dad was trying his best to keep her calm.

Sitting in front of your brother and getting some cereals from the box he left on the table, you asked, "What's up?"

He swallowed. "Mom's been contacting everyone. Camera crew, caterer, gown maker, Church, the works," he answered with a shrug. "Don't ask me why."

You nodded and looked at her. She was fiddling with her phone while your dad looked at her, exasperated. "Mom," you called. "What's wrong?"

She looked at you, surprised. "Oh, honey!" She walked to you and gave you a kiss on your forehead. "I didn't realize you've come down already. Are you okay?"

"Of course," you said, half-lying. "Y/br/n said that you were calling the works."

"Yes, I was," she admitted.

You smiled. "Mom, thank you for your help but you know that's my job, right?"

She smiled softly. "I know, dear. And I know Sonny and his family are also doing their part. I just want to help."

You stood up and hugged her. "And you are, Mom. Let me help then."

Your dad kissed your Temple and said, "You'll need it, y/m/n.”

“But I want her to relax. She’s been overworked the past months,” your mother replied. “Let her have the day.”

“You've been overworking yourself the whole morning."

You blinked and looked at your brother's food. "What time is it?"

"It's ten," your brother replied.

You cursed. "I should be getting ready now, shouldn't I? I'll be using the bathtub." You excused yourself but your dad pulled you back. "Dad."

"Eat," he said. "You still have time."

Later, you really did have to clean yourself up. As you lay inside the tub, you began to ponder.

Sonny loved you. But what if he sees that you're not fit to be his wife? Or he gets bored with you and looks for someone else? Or maybe he…

You shook your head. "Stop thinking that, y/n," you muttered bitterly. "He won't do that. He's not doing that. He loves you for goodness sake."

Bringing your legs up to your chest, you rested your chin on your knees and sighed. "This is going to be a long life." But one that you wouldn't regret.

A knock on the door woke you from your thoughts. "Y/n?" you heard your mother call. "It's almost time to get ready. The cameras and make-up artist will be here soon."

"I'm almost done!" you told her, trying to reach your voice to the other side of the door. "Just need some rinsing!"

"I'll be waiting, dear." You could practically hear her smile. And that made you smile. You were so happy to have your family's full support. You were a very lucky lady.

After your relaxing bath, you quickly dried yourself and dressed into a simple sleeveless shirt and shorts, and you topped it off with a white robe. Your vanity was cleared for the bright lights that the make-up artist would be bringing, and the chair that came with the wood furniture was put aside for the coming director's chair.

You felt those butterflies in your stomach.

You sat on your bed and stared at the floor. Stop overthinking.

"Y/n, Ms. Harrison is here." The make-up artist. "You ready?"

You stood up and fixed the ribbon of your robe. You took a deep breath and exhaled through your lips slowly. "Ready!"

The door opened and in came your mother, Ms. Harrison, and two others, a man and a woman. "Ms. Y/l/n! Hello!" Ms. Harrison greeted. "The future Mrs….?"

"Carisi." And you felt yourself grinning from ear to ear.

"And it suits you perfectly!" she cooed. Her male companion unfolded a director's chair while the female readied the cases. "Sit, sit," she ushered.

You lifted yourself and tried to get comfortable on the chair. "Anything I have to do?" you asked, unsure.

Your mother brought in the photographer and videographer and another lady who introduced herself as the director.

"Just relax, honey," the male companion told her. "We'll do all the work."

And so, the magic began. Your hair was pulled up in a big bun with a variety of flowers, all in perfect sizes, inserted into it. A few strands of your hair on the right side of your forehead were curved to the side, making an effect similar to loose hair. Your make-up wasn't overdone, as you have requested.

The camera crew headed out as you fit into your wedding dress. It was an off-shoulder, white dress, with a snowflake design that covered your cleavage. There were tiny snowflakes embroidered after one-fourth of the skirt until the hem.

People would be wondering why the theme of the wedding was baby blue and white with a hint of light gray, especially on a day like March 15.

But they wouldn't know, not until later.

When everything was done, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't see Y/n Y/l/n. You saw Y/n Carisi. And you knew then, nothing will stop you from marrying him. You weren't scared anymore, not nervous.

You were ready.

Finally, it was your turn to walk down the aisle. A veil that reached up to your neck covered your face. You giggled at the thought that you were nervous about the fabric ruining your hair.

The infamous song played and you began the long, agonizing march to the front. You had your eyes set on Sonny as you walked in synchronization with your parents, both your arms hooked to either one.

You reached the front and Sonny kissed your mom's cheek and shook your dad's hand. He offered his arm to you and you both walked up the steps to the middle.

"Hi," he greeted with a smile.

"Hey," you returned.

You could tell he was nervous, and even if you said you wouldn't be any longer, the butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

"You can back out anytime," you murmured.

"And miss being your devoted husband?" he chuckled softly as you reached your seats. "I don't think so."

And an hour later, you both said the words you've been longing to say.

“I do.”

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Cheers erupted in the Church as Sonny lifted the veil aside and leaned down to give you a chaste kiss. You were now officially Mrs. Carisi. And God did you love it.

The reception was filled with dances and laughter. Carisi's cousin, Kris, had been the best man and your best friend, y/bf/n, was your maid of honor. They both said their speeches and then it was yours and Sonny's turn to greet the guests.

"Thank you so much," Sonny started, "for those who came to celebrate this beautiful day with us. Y/n and I are so happy and blessed to share this special day with you.

"Kris and Y/bf/n had already given a few details of Y/n's and my love story. Yes, we met during the winter season, and it was snowing a bit. We met because we were both following a snowflake that was falling. Y/n loved snowflakes and I was dazed as I was on my way home from a hard day's work. Our eyes met and she smiled at me.

"We talked a bit, had some coffee together, but we parted ways without further contact. I was really disappointed but I had a feeling inside me that I would be meeting her again.

"Two months have passed Kris invited me to this gathering, where it turns out he's friends with Y/bf/n and she brought Y/n. Of course, I immediately tried to get her attention and it worked after three agonizing hours."

"You were trying too hard," you joked. People laughed.

"At least I was trying. Unlike someone who was trying to play hard to get." People laughed some more. "And I started falling for her from then on." He shrugged. "Now I'm stuck with her." Then he looked at you with a smile. "Forever."

The crowd began to tink their wine glasses with their utensils. "Kiss!" they chanted. "Kiss! Kiss!"

Sonny raised his arms. "Let's not disappoint."

You rolled your eyes and leaned forward. The guests giggled and cooed. "You better not disappoint me," you whispered. "Because I promise to never disappoint you."

"I'll never disappoint you," he said. "Never."

When the night was done, you and Sonny were breathless from the loving activity you had just done.

"You're really good at this," you said.

He smirked. "Only because I'm with the one I want to do it with."

"You are so corny." You stuck out your tongue.

He leaned down and kissed you. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Stay with me."

"I will," you said. "I'm yours."

"And I'm yours." He kissed your forehead. "’Til forever and a day."

tagging: i have no idea

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #sonny carisi x y/n #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi imagines #sonny carisi fanfiction #carisi wedding #misc: cherish writes

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angelicdestieldemon · 3 years

Text

Hot Chocolate (Day 2 of Christmas)

Prompt was Hot Chocolate, as you will see it kinda got away from me.

SHIP: Barisi

Requests are open for the next 23 days, I write for Barson, Bangan, Barisi and potentially other Rafael Barba ships (even other Raúl Esparza characters too), just talk to me on asks or private messages.

It was a bad morning, first Rafael slept in, then the hot water was out in his apartment and he was forced to take a cold shower. Then, his coffee machine decided this was going to be the morning it didn’t brew coffee even when he knew the timer had been set. The line was too long at his back-up coffee shop due to his lateness which meant he was arriving at the office on a bad morning without coffee. Queue an angry Cuban with snow in his hair and a tired expression stomping his way through Hogan Place to his office where his assistant Carmen was sitting at her desk talking with the one person Rafael was not in the mood to deal with, former detective now ADA Carisi. The happiest man alive.

Rafael is about to walk straight through to his office when he stops short at the sight of three coffee cups sitting on Carmen’s desk. Before he can stop himself Rafael almost slumps in relief.

“Please, please tell me one of those is for me?” Rafael pleads, foregoing any semblance of pride, frankly, he was lucky he wasn’t already on his knees.

Carisi turns to face him, that sunny smile directed his way is a punch in the chest and Rafael is definitely fighting to keep his knees steady. Carisi grabs the largest coffee cup and holds it out for Rafael to take, and Rafael leaps across the floor to take it from him, he doesn’t even realise until the cup is finished that in his haste, Rafael had trapped Carisi’s hand around the cup with his own. Rafael freezes refusing to make eye contact with the ADA.

“Can I have my hand back, please?” Carisi asks although it sounds more like a tease than anything else.

Rafael releases his grip around the cup and Carisi’s hand as if burned, willing himself to forget the warmth of the other man’s hands against his own hands, cold from the freezing weather outside.

“Anything for me this morning, Carmen?” Rafael diverts his attention from the grinning Italian to his assistant who is wearing a look of pure amusement, he glares at her with a tilt of his head, her smirk widens.

“Just your meeting with ADA Carisi,” she grins.

Rafael takes a deep breath and walks over to his office door, gesturing for Carisi to follow, “Come on, then Carisi, I don’t have all day.”

Rafael has lost track of how many times he has paced the room, trying to will himself to stay awake, Liv is sitting across the room from him equally as tired, her head resting in her hand.

“How much longer is this going to take?” He grumbles, his voice low and raw, this day has been far too long, all he wants to do is go to bed, but until the Sting has been completed, all they can do is wait.

The rest of the team is undercover, Carisi nipped out a while ago to answer his mobile and hasn’t returned which leaves Rafael and Olivia in her office, waiting for a phone call to let them go home.

Giving up on the relentless pacing, he collapses on the couch and before he can stop himself, he is leaning back to rest his head in Liv’s lap. Only after he’s closed his eyes does he realise what he’s done. However, before he can build the energy to move, one of Liv’s hands is in his hair, petting the mess of brown locks that he didn’t bother to put any product in this morning, in his haste to get ready.

“Do you want me to move, I think I have just enough energy to get myself back up?” He mumbles, feeling himself falling asleep more and more by the second.

The movement of her shaking silent laughter wakes him up again, but he still feels drowsy. “I don’t think you can go anywhere without coffee, and seeing as I’m stuck here, I think neither of us going anywhere to get some any time soon.” Rafael can hear the smile in her words. “You’re out of luck today, Rafa, the coffee fairy has taken the rest of the night off.”

He opens his eyes, to meet Liv’s looking down on him, her nails gently scratching across his scalp, “You’re a cat, Rafa, I’m surprised you aren’t purring.”

If it didn’t feel so good, he’d bat her hand away.

“How’s Noah, is he excited for Christmas?” He asks instead.

Rafael had been thinking about Noah a lot lately, mostly while passing toy stores on his days off, few and far between as they are, but it’s also impossible to think about this time of year without thinking about children and unlike his cousin’s kids and Amanda’s, Noah is the only child he knows well. Like a Christmas tree, Liv lights up in a way only discussion or sight of Noah can manage.

“He’s good, he’s currently working on his list to Santa. If I hear the word puppy one more time I may explode so- don’t you dare,” she scolds as he opens his mouth, Liv clamps her hand over it, a grin playing on her lips at his childishness, but he merely quirks an eyebrow until she removes her hand. “He’s been asking after his favourite Uncle… and you of course,” this time Rafael does swat her hand away but then moves it back to his head after he’s made his point.

“I miss him, but I’m glad he’s happy, let me know what’s on his list to Santa, I’d like to get him something he wants,” he asks, usually shopping for children makes him nervous but for Noah, Rafael is looking forward to the prospect.

“He’d love that, what are your plans for Christmas, are you spending it with your mother?” She asks, her nails moving down to his neck, softly scratching as his skin.

“No, she’s going on a cruise with some of my cousins, they invited me along but being stuck on a boat with my family for two weeks sounds more like hell than a holiday, I’ll just watch movies and get some work done,” he replies.

As much as he loves his family, it would be a solid two weeks of questioning his love life, why he doesn’t have any children? If he’s seeing anyone and everything in between.

Suddenly his hair is being gripped hard enough to sting but not enough to really hurt, “You’re planning on spending Christmas alone? Why didn’t you tell me?” She sounds hurt.

“I didn’t want to bother you, you have enough to worry about with Noah, I didn’t want you worrying about me as well,” he reasons, raising a hand to smooth over the stinging part of his scalp.

“You, Rafael Barba, are an idiot. I’m not letting you spend Christmas alone; you’re coming to mine; you can give Noah his present and we’ll have a large dinner that makes us incapable of doing anything other than watching Christmas movies on the couch.” Rafael doesn’t even need to think about it, how could he argue with that, spending Christmas day with his best friend and her son?

Rafael nods his head, and they stay like than in silence for a while, he’s beginning to feel sleepy again when Carisi barrels through the door, the only way he can at three AM, a smile on his face, although even he looks tired.

“Looks like the coffee fairy heard our prayers,” Liv mutters, and Rafael's chest shakes in silent laughter.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Carisi asks, his expression not matching his confusion if anything Rafael would say he’s upset about something, but that isn’t reflected in his voice.

“Just waiting for that magic phone call that will send us home, anyway, is that coffee, it doesn’t smell like coffee?” Rafael mumbles, the energy he had earlier to move is gone, he’s moving for no one at this point.

“Not exactly, I figured we all might be slowly losing the will to stay awake but given the fact we may be able to go home at any moment I figured hot chocolate was the way to go,” he says, handing a cup to Olivia, pausing before handing Rafael a cup, “However, I also know that if I gave you anything without caffeine, you’d never talk to me again so I asked them to put half a shot of coffee in yours,” Rafael melts at the cheeky but still tired smile Carisi shoots him, even exhausted at three in the morning, Carisi’s smile shines like the sun, it makes Rafael’s heart hurt.

“Thank you, Sonny,” Liv says, breaking the silent tension in the room, a knowing grin on her face that Rafael chooses to ignore, he takes a draw of the drink and sighs as the caffeine hits his tongue, his lips twitching up in a half-smile.

In a brief moment of a caffeine euphoria, he uses the little energy he has to move his legs, letting Carisi sit on the couch with the two of them before placing his legs back in the ADA’s lap. The man shoots him an amused smile, which Rafael responds with only a quirked eyebrow. The room is silent once again, only the softened sounds from the city below disrupting it, but having lived in the city long enough, each of them can reduce it to white noise. The peaceful ambience makes it harder to ignore the warmth Carisi radiates though, he can feel it through where his legs are resting on the man’s lap, and the large hand resting on Rafael’s ankle.

That train of thought leads Rafael down a spiral of wondering how that warmth would feel pressed against his back when he wakes up in the mornings, or how Carisi’s hand would warm his while they walked through the winter streets together. Rafael can’t help but stare at the man, how far he has come from touring precincts to finding a home here in the Manhattan SVU team. From shadowing Rafael to becoming an ADA, the feeling of pride and that little something else that Rafael refuses to name burns in his chest every time he lays his eyes on the man.

Carisi looks up from his phone in time to catch Rafael’s gaze and instead of looking away, Rafael just looks back. There is something between them, but Rafael can’t bring himself to act on it, maybe he’s a coward, but there is too much at risk, or so he tells himself. He doesn’t want to lose the friendship but call it old age, he wants someone to come home to on nights like these. Rafael can see a future with Carisi, he can see it all, the late nights watching films on the couch, days in the office bickering and debating, smirks prominent on their faces.

Rafael is looking forward to spending Christmas Day with Liv and Noah but there is a part of him, bigger than he’s ready to admit to himself, that wishes he could at least wake up in the arms of someone he cares about. Hell, the reason he woke up so late this morning was that he couldn’t bring himself to leave the dream of Carisi’s arms wrapped around him.

Carisi’s gaze is still locked on Rafael’s when Liv’s phone finally rings to tell them the sting was successful, and they can go home to their beds for a precious few hours before coming back in to finish off this case in time for Christmas.

Rafael grabs his stuff with the little energy he has left from the hot chocolate and orders an Uber on his phone, Liv locks up her office behind them and heads home, leaving Rafael and Carisi alone outside the building, the cold air already making Rafael wish the driver would hurry up.

“You don’t have to wait you know? Only one of us has to freeze tonight,” Rafael jokes, but Carisi just sends him a look that says he isn’t going anywhere until Rafael’s car has arrived. For someone who talks a lot, Carisi has been surprisingly quiet tonight, there must be something on his mind, Rafael wonders.

Rafael rolls his eyes in response to Carisi’s expression. A few minutes pass before he sees his Uber pull up, Carisi walks over with him, even going as far as opening the door, like a gentleman. Carisi must see the smirk Rafael is sporting and rolls his own eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips.

Rafael is about to get in the car when he feels a hand on his arm, he turns just in time to see a moment of hesitation pass over Carisi’s face before he’s being kissed.

Rafael’s mind goes blank, his eyes shut automatically, and he finds himself gripping Carisi’s elbow to hold him in place before they break apart. The kiss was chaste and yet utterly perfect, Rafael can’t bring himself to speak but he waves any worry Carisi might have with a smile, a genuinely happy if a little tired, smile.

“Goodnight, Rafael.”

“Goodnight… Sonny.” And there’s that sunshine smile once again.

#rafael barba #Raul Esparza #sonny carisi #Law & Order SVU #barisi #Olivia Benson #Peter Scanavino #mariska hartigay #Raúl Esparza

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enamoured-x · 4 years

Text

Lover

Sonny Carisi x Reader

Summary: You and Sonny became quick friends when he joined SVU but when your feelings become more than friendly, you struggle to decide if you want to finally tell him or to keep them bottled up in fear of losing him.

Word count: 1,829

Part 12

“Go sit down and I’ll serve us.” He smiles and places a kiss to your temple before going to the table to sit down. You plated the food and went over to the table to set them down.

“You should do the cooking more often.” He says after you clink your glasses and start to dig in.

“God no, If I don’t have your famous Carisi chicken marsala at least once a week, I might actually die.” He laughs at that.

“Noted, I’ll make sure to make it once every week. Any other requests?” He teases and you pretend to think about it.

“Maybe your manicotti and zeppole wouldn’t hurt either.” You point out and you both laugh.

“I’ll make you whatever you want, doll.” He says sincerely and your heart skips a beat. You lean over a place a kiss on his cheek. You both carry on a conversation and he talks about how his mom is inviting you both to Sunday brunch again.

“Can’t wait, I missed your mom and your crazy ass sisters.” You tell him. You actually got along well with his sisters, they were practically your sisters but they were crazy nonetheless and always wanting you to participate in their crazy, and most of the time, you did. His mom was always so dotting and you loved it, she always expressed how much she loved you and the feeling was mutual.

“They missed you, Ma said she didn’t want me there if you weren’t coming.” He jokes.

“Well no need for that, I’ll be there. I love your family.” He smiles at that and you both finish up.

“I’m washing dishes.” He says before you could start in on the dishes you both placed in the sink.

“Sonny—”

“Nope. Here,” he grabs your wine glass and fills it with more wine and then hands it back to you.

“Just sit there, drink your wine and look pretty.” You kiss his shoulder and hop on the counter as he starts the dishes. Once he’s just about done he starts to dry his hands and comes to stand between your legs.

“Sorry, I didn’t make dessert. I did buy a tub of your favorite ice cream though, Butter Pecan.” You explain once he kisses your cheek and then trails kisses down your neck.

“Don’t apologize, dinner was enough. Besides, I think I found something sweeter.” He says as his open mouthed kisses go down to your collarbone. You couldn’t help but giggle and push him away.

“Not so fast, I have a surprise for you.” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“A surprise?”

“Yes, now go sit down in the living room.” You push him a bit and he just smirks.

“Am I getting a private show?” You can’t help but throw you head back laughing.

“Maybe some other time.” You tell him as you hop off the counter.

“Now go.” You say and he follows your directions. You go into the hallway closet and pull out two boxes, one small one and one big one. You make your way to the living room to see Sonny sitting up waiting. When he sees what you’re holding he looks even more confused.

“What are those?” He asks as you sit down next to him and place the boxes on the coffee table in front of you.

“Your gifts.” You state and you can’t fight the smile on your face as Sonny still looks confused.

“For me?”

“Yes you, you dork.” You laugh and he shakes his head.

“Did I miss my birthday?” He questions and you roll your eyes.

“They’re your ADA gifts.”

“What?”

“I got you something to celebrate you working as an ADA now.” You explain.

“Doll… You didn’t have to do that.” He shakes his head.

“Dominick, you’re crazy if you think I didn’t get you something for your new job.” Granted, it had been a month since he had started working at the DA’s office but with everything that happened while he was just starting out, between you telling him how you feel and then ignoring him and fighting, there wasn’t a right time to give him the gifts. But somehow the one month mark seemed a good place to hand them over.

“But—”

You shake your head, “no buts.” You grab the smaller box first and hand it to him.

He shakes his head with a smile and opens the box. Inside tucked in the black velvet were silver rectangle cufflinks with his initials engraved on them. His mouth falls open and his eyes widen, he picks one of them up to look at it closer.

“Do you like them?” You ask, getting impatient. You know he only had one pair of cufflinks and he didn’t wear them often because he felt it was too much for a detective but now that he was an ADA you wanted to get him a nicer pair.

“Are you kidding? I love them, m’gonna wear them everyday. Baby, you didn’t have to do this…” He shakes his head and puts the silver back into the box. He pulls you in for a kiss and you smile.

“I wanted to. Now you still have one more.” You nod to the big box.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He doesn’t look at you when he says it and he mostly whispers it. This was barely anything but you know in past relationships Sonny was always made to feel undeserving and most of the women he was with expected him to shower them with things and love and they never returned it.

“You’re just you, Sonny.” You hoped he knew how deserving he really was.

You pick up the big box with the bow and handed it to him. You were more excited about this gift just because you know how long he’s been wanting them. He told you about the ADA opening around three months ago and although you were upset and dealing with the fact that he wouldn’t be your partner anymore, you were extremely happy for him and immediately set out to find the perfect gift. Luckily, with a little help from his sister, Theresa, you were able to get him the gift without ruining the surprise.

The bow on the box was put there for a reason, the name of the brand was on the top and you wanted to see his face when he realized what it was. Once he undid the bow he looked shocked and looked at you before he even opened the box. You understood why, the brand was an italian shoe maker in the city. But not just any old place, this place tailored these shoes to fit your exact size and Sonny has been dying to get a pair since forever.

You decided to put him out of his confusion.

“You know a few months back when Theresa asked you to go to a tailor with her to get rough estimates of Johnny’s measurements?” You ask him. You and Theresa had come up with a plan on how the hell you were going to get Sonny’s feet measurements. It included paying the lady extra who worked at the shoe place to go to where Sonny and Theresa were and pretend to take measurements for a suit for Theresa’s fiance, Johnny because she wanted to surprise him. Luckily for you, the older lady was more than happy to do it and from what Theresa told you, she was very believable. And good thing that Theresa had a friend who owned a suit store to let them use it. The lady took Sonny’s suit measurements to make it look real and then got all the measurements she needed for his feet. Theresa had told you that Sonny was actually confused when she needed his feet measured but she had made a bullshit excuse about getting a pair of shoes for Johnny and she was able to change the subject quickly. Maybe it was a bit much to go through just to keep it a surprise but you know Sonny would never let you buy them if it wasn’t and you were excited to see how he would react.

“Yeah?” He answers, still not understanding what’s happening. You couldn’t blame him, you and Theresa made it seem as real as possible.

“Yeah, well, that was all bullshit. She didn’t need you for Johnny’s measurements. The lady who did it was a lady from the shoe place, I paid her to help me surprise you. That’s why she measured your feet.” You explain and it all starts to click in his head and that’s when he shakes his head.

“Doll, no…” He says despite not having even opened the box yet.

“Please tell me you didn’t.” He almost looks upset but you didn’t take it to heart, you knew it was because he didn’t want you spending money on him, especially something this expensive.

“Just open the box.” You tell him, he takes a second before opening the box and moving the beige cloth out of the way. They were black, sleek, and just his style.

His breathe hitches when he sees them and he slowly takes them out to examine them. He runs his fingers along the sides of one of them and turns it to see it from all sides.

“It’s too much. I can’t accept these.” He turns to you and says.

“It’s not. Besides, they’re tailored, it’s not like you can return them.” You explain.

“Try them on.” You add. He places both shoes on the ground and slides into them and then ties them up. He stands up and walks around in them and shakes his head.

“Good fit?” You ask.

“Perfect fit.” He says as he looks down at them. He looks so hot with his suit still on sans the jacket. The shoes go well and not only do they look nice but you can just tell they’re not just any shoe.

“You sure can rock them.” You compliment him and he takes them off before putting them back in the box. Then he throws himself on you making you yelp and fall back as his body covers yours completely.

“Sonny!” You yell but can’t help but laugh as he places kisses all over your face.

“You’re my everything, you know that right? Even before us, I would’ve done anything for you. I would do anything for you. You’re perfect and I really don’t deserve you, doll, but I have you now and I’m never letting you go.” He says once he pulls away. You swallow hard at his confession and the idea of forever.

“Oh, Sonny. I’d do anything for you without question.” You place your hands at the nape of his neck as you play with his hair there.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You whisper as he leans his forehead against yours and then he connects your lips.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #Sonny Carisi x You #law and order svu #svu

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barisifictionarchive · 4 years

Text

Author: Juniperhoot

Preferred Name: Jenny

Have any events in your personal life ever influenced the things that you've written? Absolutely. STRAP IN.

Sometimes I rework something that happened to me, or to someone I know, and use it as a template for filling in personal details. See also: Carisi’s tale of molten aluminum burning holes in his ma’s kitchen flooring. That’s something that actually happened to me (well, it happened to my second husband, who got distracted while playing CounterStrike and let the pan boil dry). In one of my Stony stories, Steve tells Tony about a comforting gesture he learned from his mother - three squeezes of the hand, to silently say “I love you.” That’s something I learned from my Mema.

Beyond those bits of color, there are things that have made their way into my writing that come directly from my experiences. My interest in Sonny as a queer Catholic who once considered the religious life is something deeply personal to me, because that was my life, too. Even though I’m an atheist now, the church still holds some fascination for me, and I’m keenly interested in people who find a way to walk that line, and retain some belief while also retaining their autonomy and sense of self. The way I write Sonny is, in many ways, the way I think I would be, if I still believed. Okay, if I still believed AND were also a tall, noodly, bisexual man.

The way I write Rafael’s overthinking interior life is partly me, partly the things I’ve observed in people I’ve loved. The carefully chosen words, the moments of retreating from revealing too much of himself, the guardedness and tendency toward self-preservation that comes from growing up in an abusive home… all very relatable and possibly part of why I mostly write from his perspective, even though I generally consider myself more like Sonny. The shadows in Rafael’s heart are in my heart, too. My empathy is built on those shadows.

I wrote a Stony breakup fic years ago during a difficult time in my life. I’d reached a point where I had to remove some people from my life, because my priorities and theirs were so radically divergent. It felt like a big breakup. It reopened some feelings from my second divorce, and compounded what I was going through with another more recent breakup. Somehow, I used the pain and disillusionment of all that to write about two dudes in love, who found themselves in a crisis of trust and faith in one another. Of course, I also wrote them coming back together, and the work it takes to do that, because in my heart, I want to see good people work things out, if possible. And at least in my story, and in the way I view both of those characters, they ARE good people. In real life, some people really do need to be cut loose, when their values are wholly incompatible with your own. Some relationships can’t be mended. Some friendships turn out to be mostly one-sided. But hey, if they can be mined for material, they were worth it, right?

I’m in a less volatile emotional space these days, so my fics tend to reflect that. I’m the queen of domesticity and cute banter, and love that I’m getting to explore the quieter side of drama. I know I’ve said this before, but it’s worth saying again. It’s not all slamming doors and WE’RE THROUGH!, you know? There’s a marvelous sense of drama in the ways we try to negotiate cohabitation, or meeting the families of our romantic partners. There’s drama in supporting one another’s goals and ideals. At least, I think there is? And I hope my stories achieve that.

Do you have a favorite movie? I have a few, and they’re very different movies, because they reflect different aspects of my heart.

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985) is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen, and it still makes me laugh, 35 years after its release. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it. The stupid characters, the kitschy aesthetic, the score… it’s so very silly. I love it.

Singin’ in the Rain (1952) is, in my opinion, the most perfect Hollywood movie musical of all time. Everything about it works. The entire cast is outrageously talented, and attractive, and the songs are all memorable. The title song and dance routine never fails to elicit chills and a thrill of giddy joy in my heart. When Gene Kelly does that spin in the street, with the umbrella held out before him like a dance partner? Aaaaaiiiieeee. This is the movie that makes me wish I could dance.

A Room With A View (1985) is the sort of quiet, clever, understated romantic (in every sense of the word) movie I turn to again and again. It’s a gorgeous adaptation of a really smart, surprising book that left a mark on me when I first encountered it in high school. The score is lush and inviting, the cast is beautiful (and oh, those costumes!), the script is just fucking delicious, and of course, the scenery, from Florence to Kent, is exquisite. Plus, we get interplay between sincere humanism (the Emersons), religious belief (the Reverends Beebe and Eager), and the religious-by-default stances of so many of the other characters, whose participation in the religious life of the community seems to be more for societal expectations than anything else. It’s just beautiful, and one of the only movies I urge everyone to sit through to the very end, not because there’s a post-credits scene, but because the closing track that plays over the credits is fantastic.

Who is your favorite author? E.M. Forster, partly because of what I said above about A Room With A View. The novel is short, but crammed with interesting ideas and engaging dialogue. He has a unique voice that spoke to me as a teenager, and my appreciation for his writing has only increased over the many years since. Read Howards End. Read Maurice. Read Where Angels Fear to Tread. Read A Passage to India. But start with A Room With A View.

I know a lot of people would say Howards End is his masterpiece, and they’re probably right about that, but I’m telling you, the book that has meant the most to me over the years is A Room With A View. I’ve kept a copy of it with me since I first read it in 1985, and it’s traveled with me from Minnesota to Seattle and back again. Lucy Honeychurch’s ongoing muddle is something I’ve lived, and survived, and it means more to me every time I read the book. More than anything, it’s a book about authenticity vs hypocrisy, and that just fucking speaks to me, you know?

How did you start getting involved in fanfiction? Several years ago, I read a Sherlock fic called “The Road Less Traveled.” It was during the long, painful, post-Reichenbach Fall hiatus between series 2 and 3, and I found myself looking for something to read that would fill the gap. I’d never had much interest in fanfic before, but this thing did something to me.

I didn’t start writing fanfic until I saw an episode of Supernatural that I found upsetting. (Don’t get me started…) I started writing a little thing to try to fix the stupidity. I wrote a couple of things, but the show did everything in its power to kill my interest in it, so I drifted away. (That said, I am very proud of my short Destiel Christmas fic, which I still think is very cute and makes me wish things had played out differently.)

From there, I started writing Stony (Steve/Tony, mostly based on the MCU, but with some elements of various Marvel comics I’ve read over the years). I wrote several things in that fandom, and most of it was extremely stupid, but there are bits and pieces that I’m still rather fond of. I still want to finish my long fic that’s been gathering dust for a couple of years now. Oops.

How did you get involved with Barisi? Barisi is probably the first fandom that I’ve written for that really seemed to embrace me and encourage me to keep doing this. A friend of mine has been watching SVU forever, and would reference things occasionally on chat while she was watching it. (See also: SEX PARTY MEASLES BABY, an intriguing statement that I didn’t actually understand for YEARS.) I started watching SVU off and on, a few episodes here or there, sometime in 2018. I started at the beginning, and worked my way through the whole thing. When I started it, I was mostly in it for Olivia Benson. But I knew Raúl Esparza had been on the show at some point, and at the time, I was in the “oh, I think I remember seeing him in something, he’s good” camp.

It wasn’t until I got to season 14 that I lost my mind over the show. Rafael Barba is one of the greatest characters ever written for tv, and I’m so thrilled he came along and blew my frickin’ mind. My appreciation for Raúl Esparza went through the roof, and it made me go look for him in other things, which fed into my spiraling appreciation.

Fast forward to season 16. Sonny Carisi walks in, and is… a beautiful, mustachioed mess. I love him from the moment I see him, and I say, “Oh shit, this is the love of Rafael Barba’s life, isn’t it?” This is even before they’ve shared a scene. This is before they’ve blatantly checked each other out. This is just me recognizing the potential, and craving it. Then he shaves that stache and starts dressing better, and he’s shadowing Barba and they’re working cases together and Barba’s being KIND TO HIM? COME ON.

Naturally, I started thinking about writing them. And it wasn’t coming from a place of “I need to fix this episode” or “I need to work out a recent trauma” driving me. It was just “ugh, they have an amazing dynamic and I want to explore it and I want to see what their home life would look like.” That’s how I ended up writing Carisi’s Goddamn Legs. Suddenly I was being bombarded with thoughtful comments from readers. In one such comment, Maxi (mforpaul) asked me where I could be reached on other platforms, and messaged me privately about the story, and made a big deal out of tracking me down on Twitter, introducing me to the rest of the fandom. And that fandom turned out to be filled with really amazing people, who think about big issues like justice and queerness and representation. Those same people are also wonderfully silly and down to earth. The power of this fandom!

What inspires you to write? Lots of things. Life, because it is weird and messy and wonderful. My closest friend, who is a springboard for a lot of my nonsense, is always eager for me to write something new. My love of a ridiculous turn of phrase. The quest for dialogue that sounds in-character and natural. Sometimes, it’s just the seed of an idea, a thought that won’t leave me alone, like, “I bet a short king would be obsessed with those long, noodly legs.” Because I, a short queen, am similarly obsessed.

Sometimes, when the writing fever is upon me, it’s hard to sleep, hard to think of anything other than the story I’m working on. I just want to get it all out and done. If I’m writing something that I really enjoy, or feel very closely connected to, I physically tremble as I write. When that happens, I know I’m on the right track, and I don’t want to stop writing. I just want to inhabit that space, and wallow in that feeling.

What is your favorite fic that you have written? Carisi's Goddamn Legs is really something. The pining, the uncertainty, the slowly dawning realization, but most of all, that scene at Lorenzo’s, where it all comes to a head and the way it creeps to the edge of intimacy and then is interrupted by Lorenzo and a retreat to the casual, only to be sent right back to the edge… I’ve re-read the damn thing several times since I wrote it, and that scene gets to me every time. I really like it a lot. I like the dynamic between them so very much, and the way the truth tumbles out of Carisi literally makes me shake.

What is your favorite quote from a fic of yours? Ooh, yikes, this is hard. I have a couple of lines I really like. One is short, one is longer. Just like Barisi.

One of them (from Carisi's Goddamn Legs ) was something I gave to Olivia, as she tries to counsel Rafael on his worries that his emotional armor isn’t protecting him the way it used to.

“Wear and tear, I guess. Armor was never meant to be worn all the time.”

It’s a line that means something to me, personally, because I spent a substantial chunk of my life in armor, hiding who I was and trying to settle for “the best you can expect” rather than my actual heart’s desire. When I dismantled that wall, things got chaotic for a while, but I also realized I was capable of emotional depths and soaring heights I didn’t think possible for me. It’s something that the Jenny of today wants to whisper (or shout) at the Jenny of 25-30 years ago, and it’s that part of me that relates to Rafael’s journey from a lifetime of SHIELDS UP! to embracing vulnerability and intimacy. (I actually really like that whole scene between them, because I love their friendship and think it’s beautiful, and crave more of that dynamic. Platonic intimacy is gorgeous, and woefully underappreciated in most entertainment. I could go on for hours about that, but I won’t. Not right now, anyway.)

And from Staten Island Serenade, this passage of Rafael gazing at a sleeping Sonny really gets to me.

“As hard as it was some days, Rafael knew without question he wanted to be right here with him, because Sonny was worth the effort. He was a bewildering mess of contradictions and weirdness, too smart for his own good but capable of saying the most ridiculous shit Rafael had ever heard. Somehow everything about him was beautiful, and inspired something in Rafael that felt pure, and almost holy, or would be if he believed in holiness. Like Cymon of old, transformed in every way by the exquisite sight of sleeping Iphigenia, Rafael found himself similarly transformed; ennobled by the nearness of Sonny Carisi, someone so decent, so kind, so truly beautiful inside and out that it would have been a sacrilege not to strive to be a better man.”

What is your personal favorite fanfic?

Again with the hard questions. I don’t even know where to begin. I honestly can’t point to ONE and say, “This is it! THE FAVE.” I’m so sorry I’m not able to narrow down my faves on anything. I’m terrible at this.

There are several Sherlock fics that I’ve read and re-read over the years, which I think really nailed their voices and their characters, and gave me things to think about. The Road Less Traveled will always be a favorite of mine, because it was the first, and because it is beautiful.

Pass Here And Go On by abogadobarba hits all the right notes for me. It rocketed to the top of my list the moment I read it. I’ve read it about ten times so far. I am ridiculous.

So Far in a Few Blocks by PhillyStrega is one of the only AUs I’ve ever read and loved. I’m not really an AU person, but shut UP, I love this story.

You Made Them Feel Like They Had the Devil Inside Them by cypress_tree really got to me. It’s about one of those issues that hits very close to home, and I think it’s a beautifully-written story about something that matters.

Anything else you would like to add?

I just want to say how much I love this fandom. I love my fellow inhabitants of Barisi Nation. I love that I get to obsess over things like the intersections of faith and queerness and humanism and sex and domesticity and justice and goodness. Even if nobody else wanted to read my stories, I think I’d still be over here, writing like mad, because I love these characters and it’s a genuine joy for me to spend time in their heads. But gosh, it’s gratifying to know the hours I spend on this silliness actually pay off for other people, too. I love hearing from people who’ve read my stories and found something meaningful in them, or giggled at something ridiculous Sonny said, or thought a sex scene was… well, anyway. You know.

I’m so grateful to get to do this. And I appreciate the hell out of all you lovely humans. You make me happy.

#barisi #Author of the month #Author recommendation #Juniperhoot

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swanslieutenant · 5 years

Text

from the sea - chapter seven

Summary: When Emma becomes sheriff, the pressure of running a department with a dwindling budget becomes nothing but an exercise in frustration. That is, until she finds an unlikely ally in the town treasurer, a man who her kid Henry is convinced is not an ally at all, but rather a villainous enemy. Season 1 AU, Cursed!Killian.

Rating and Warnings: Teen.

Catch up: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6

Read on AO3

_________

Hot, scorching sunlight beats down on Wes as he stands on creaking oak boards of a ship, squinting against the bright reflection of the sunlight off the glimmering blue ocean all around him. He feels abruptly out of place; the last thing he remembers was closing his eyes in the darkness of his room. And yet, here he is, standing here, on the moored ship, the waves lapping gently against the hull, rocking it back and forth like a mother rocking her child.

He glances around him, trying to get a sense of his bearings. He’s on a ship, half-leaning against the base of the tall mast, and as he shifts slightly, he winces at the sharp pain radiating down his right side. A dark-haired woman standing in front of him, long curls cascading down around her shoulders, her patterned skirt tight around her waist, glances back over to him with concerned eyes.

As she shifts, he catches sight of a man, if he could even be called that, opposite her. Wes recoils – he is more gremlin than human, skin scaly, eyes yellow and demonic. The monster is leering at the woman, a cold hatred in his expression, but she isn’t intimidated, her stance confident and cool.

Wes blinks hard several times, trying to focus on what is happening around him. The pair are exchanging a heated lobby of words, biting and cold back and forth, and he focuses in just as the monster hisses, “And why were you so miserable?”

The woman’s face twists into a snarl, and she spits, “Because I never loved you.”

The monster’s face contorts in fury, a flash of pure evil in his eyes. He lunges forward, plunging his hand directly into the woman’s chest, sending her stumbling backwards with a yelp of pain, and a scream rips free from him.

No, Milah!

Wes darts forward, desperate to reach her, but the monster flicks his wrist as if he’s nothing more than an irritating gnat and he is thrown back, flying through the air and striking the large mast behind him. His head cracks painfully against the wood, making him see stars. As he blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision, the rigging swoops down under the monster’s control, strapping him tightly against the mast and holding him in place.

He thrashes against the ropes as the monster withdraws his hand from the woman’s chest a bright red and pulsating orb in his hand. At the sight of it, of her heart in the monster’s hand, he screams out again, and finally rips himself free, ropes and fastening hooks falling hard onto the deck of the ship, clattering loudly away.

He is at her side as she begins to crumble, hands blindly reaching out for him. He catches her, lowering her slowly to the deck of the ship as her bright jade eyes begin to fade, a hand reaching out to caress his cheek, her fingers warm against his cold, wind-burnt cheek.

“I love you,” she whispers.

The monster’s face twists in anger at that, and his fingers tighten around her heart, crushing it between his fingers. She gasps once in pain, but then her body goes limp in his grip and she is gone, gone as quickly as the dust from her heart scattering in the sea breeze.

No, no, no, no –

He hears himself murmuring denials over and over again as he lays her down on the deck, but there is nothing he can do. Nothing to save her, nothing to change what has just happened, nothing but avenge her.

“You may be more powerful now, demon, but you're no less a coward!” he shouts as he rises, rage magnifying and mounting with each moment, a roil like a storm at sea rushing over him, making him shake and vibrate with pure hatred and rage.

The monster doesn’t react, dust still escaping his fingers as he shakes his hand airily. He takes a step closer, his eyes glittering, and he holds his hand out.

“I’ll have what I came for now.”

“You’ll have to kill me first,” he snarls, and the monster smirks, his lips twisting in a cruel imitation of a smile.

“Ah, ah. I’m afraid that’s not in the cards for you, sonny boy.”

In a swift motion, so quickly there’s no time to move away or cry out, the monster draws a sword from his belt, and, with a bright flash of searing silver metal, strikes out at his hand.

The pain is instantaneous, white hot and torturous, each millisecond that the blade slices through the flesh, muscle, and bone of his left wrist more excruciating than the last. He drops to his knees, a scream of agony ripping from his mouth as he clutches at his hand, blood pouring through his other fingers, pooling around where he crouches, a sea of crimson and pain, a hot, swirling whirlpool of fury and rage and revenge –

_________

Wes starts awake from the dream as suddenly as he’d fallen into it, kicking and throwing the covers away from himself, the scream from his nightmare echoing around him. He is covered in a cold sweat, his entire body trembling. The clock on his bedside declares it to be 2:42 a.m., the bedroom still cloaked in darkness around him, and he relaxes slightly back against his pillows.

Ah, a dream.

Already the memories of the dream, so vivid and realistic, are fading as his mind slowly returns to reality. He grimaces, rubbing at the stumped end of his left arm, over the scars. The phantom pains from the loss of his hand have long since faded, but the pain he felt in his dream was so intense it feels as if it has just happened all over again.

There is pain in his right side too, a lingering echo from the dream. He runs his hand along his side, under his shirt, massaging the sore muscle. To his surprise there is a thin, raised bit of scar tissue that he has never noticed before. His fingers pause over it, hesitant and confused, but then he pulls away, roughly tugging his shirt down. A scar he doesn’t remember is nothing to worry about; he had a rough childhood, it’s not uncommon for him to discover some new scar he never noticed before.

But as soon as he thinks that, he realizes he can’t really remember much about his youth at all. There are blurs and images that seem true – huddling under the covers during a thunderstorm, working a dead-end job that left his hands rough and bruised, a tough adoptive father with an iron fist. But there is an emptiness to the memories, a nagging feeling that what little he does remember isn’t quite right.

He shakes his head, leaning down to gather the scattered bedcovers. He’s working too much. He shouldn’t have gone into the office today, especially not after the incident at the market. He’s had too much work, too much stress, and not near enough sleep.

He scrubs at his eyes, his head hitting the pillow hard as he falls back horizontally. Blinking up at the dark ceiling several times, his mind returning to the faint memories of the dream that still remain. It had felt so real, the rough wooden planks beneath his feet, the warm sun on his face, the woman standing in front of him with her dark curls and warm eyes.

It’s been a while since he dreamt of her, even though there’s a thought of her every day, a pained clench of his heart when he passes her drawings that litter his apartment or when he sees the tattoo on his arm. His dreams are usually restricted to the night she died, all those years ago now, and he shakes his head, rolling over in bed. Henry’s story about pirates have clearly gotten to him, twisting her death and his memories of it to fit into his elaborate story of Wes’s real past. Because that’s all it is, after all – a story.

_________

Emma jogs up the path to the Mayor’s house at quarter to ten the following morning. She reaches out to knock, but the door cracks open before she has the chance, Henry poking his head out.

“Is Mr. Newport with you?” he whispers.

“No,” Emma replies, a bit amused at Henry’s wide-eyed expression. “He said he’ll meet us there.” Then, she frowns, wondering if he’s changed his mind about inviting the treasurer along. “Why do you ask?”

“Just making sure.”

He opens the door enough for Emma to step into the large foyer, and she obliges, though sends Henry another curious glance.

“Why’d you even invite him along? I thought you didn’t like him.”

Henry sends a quick, panicked look to the closed door that leads to the kitchen, but it is still firmly closed, and then he turns back to her. “I don’t,” he says, voice hushed. “But this is for Operation Cobra.”

Emma blinks back at him. “What?”

“I’m trying to make him remember, Emma,” Henry says, as if it’s obvious. “If anything should trigger his memories, seeing his ship should.”

Emma closes her eyes briefly, biting back her rebuff. All right, I’ll play along.

“I thought you said Captain Hook was a villain,” she says, her own voice a whisper now. “Wouldn’t it be bad if he remembered?”

“Maybe, but he’s the closest we’ve come so far, and if he really does remember, you’ll just have to arrest him so he can’t do any harm until we figure out a way for you to break the curse on everyone else too.”

Emma can just imagine filling out the arrest report. NAME: CAPTAIN HOOK. CRIME: PIRACY AND GENERAL VILLAINY. SUGGESTED HOLDING TIME: UNTIL THE EVIL QUEEN’S CURSE BREAKS.

As if summoned by Emma’s thoughts, the kitchen door opens then to reveal Regina, a glare on her face and she sniffs when she sees Emma, standing in her pristine foyer with Henry.

“Ah, you’re here, Miss Swan. Henry told me you want to take him to the Maritime Museum?”

Emma nods, and prays Regina is in a good enough mood this morning to actually let her. “He mentioned he had lots of fun there on his field trip, and I thought he’d like to see some of the exhibits again.”

A perfect eyebrow raises, and Regina regards her coldly. “Museums don’t seem like your kind of place, Miss Swan. They’re cultured.”

Emma ignores the jab, though her hand curls into a fist at her side. “I’m always up for museums,” she says tightly. “Especially if Henry wants to go.”

Regina is unimpressed, and Henry quickly pipes up, “Please? I really want to see the museum again before I get too busy at school. This weekend is perfect. Please, Mom?”

Maybe it’s Henry use of Mom in front of Emma that softens the cold mayor, because a small sigh escapes her lips and she smiles at Henry.

“Fine. I suppose it is educational after all.”

Henry nods eagerly and even wraps his arms around Regina in a hug. “Thanks! See you later!”

And before Regina gets a chance to change her mind, Henry has released Regina and is grabbing Emma and pulling her out the door, slamming the front door shut behind them.

Once they're in the car, Henry spots the storybook that Emma had brought back for him from the diner and he excitedly pulls it towards him.

“Okay,” he says seriously, and when Emma glances over to him, she sees that he’s opened the book again to the page where the man – Captain Hook – stands at the helm of the ship. “The museum opens at 10, but the outside part – where the ship is – doesn’t open till 11. So, we’ve got lots of time to look through the stuff in the museum before going out. I didn’t recognize any of it from the book, but I was also trying to finish my worksheet, so I could have missed something. Anything there could be a trigger for Mr. Newport to remember too.”

Emma nods along as Henry lays out his plan for the day, which just mostly involves a lot of subtly quizzing Newport about anything that catches his interest, and when Emma pulls the bug to a stop at the museum, she is sure she’s heard the plan about twelve times by now.

Newport’s car isn’t in the parking lot, but the day is warm and bright, and she assumes he’s walking instead of driving. The instant the thought crosses her mind, Emma comes to a dead stop; the thought that she would just assume something already about this man she’s only really known for a couple weeks freaks Emma right the hell out.

“Emma?” Henry calls, giving her a curious look, and she shakes herself. She has enough to deal with today, mainly trying to not let Henry offend Newport with his Captain Hook talk, let alone dwell on whatever it means that she’s already easily predicting Newport’s preferences.

“Sorry, kid, coming.”

As she predicted, beside the entrance to the museum, leaning up against the old wooden building, is Newport. He’s dressed more casually today, like he was at the farmer’s market, in a grey sweater and dark pants, and he’s holding a coffee tray, three styrofoam cups with Granny’s written across them. He grins at them as they approach, waving his gloved prosthetic hand in greeting.

“Hi!” Henry shouts back, bounding up to him. “I’m glad you came!”

“Of course, I said I would,” Newport replies, and he taps one of the cups with his prosthetic hand. “A hot chocolate for you, Henry.” He accepts it eagerly, and Newport holds out the tray to Emma too. “And a coffee for you, Swan. Two cream, two sugar.”

His smile is warm, but it makes Emma freeze; she’s not the only one easily able to predict the other’s preferences it seems.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” she says, her voice coming out cooler than she intended, and she plucks the cup from the tray. His smile falters, and Emma turns away, gripping the coffee tightly as she focuses on Henry. “Let’s go, kid.”

There are a few other people in the museum already, browsing and paying them no attention. Emma sticks close to Henry through the first exhibit, which is focused on lighthouses around Storybrooke. There are old photographs of the lighthouses and the artifacts from them, including lanterns, lighthouse keepers’ journals, and old telescopes.

Newport follows them, nodding along with Henry as he chatters excitedly at the different cases of items and photographs. Henry drops the stray comment here and there about sailors and ships, followed by a furtive glance to Newport, but Newport’s expression remains neutral, interested but not overly so.

“A beacon of hope to many a lost sailor,” he murmurs, staring at the brass lantern, old and worn by time. He glances behind him, smiling at Emma, who doesn’t return his smile, still stuck on what it means that she knew he would walk here and he knows her coffee order.

He straightens, tugging at the collar of his sweater uncomfortably, and says, “Right. Shall we continue?”

Oblivious to the tension, Henry bounds excitedly after Newport into the next exhibit, Emma dragging her feet behind them. Henry half-drags Newport over to a glass case full of knotted ropes, and as Newport smiles in amusement at Henry’s explanation of the different types of knots, a jolt of guilt hits her hard in the gut.

Goddamn it. She’s hardly spoken two words to him since they arrived, giving him the cold shoulder cause of her own issues, and yet here he is, as pleasant as can be, spending his Sunday with his boss’s kid at a fricking museum of all places.

Goddamn it, Emma.

She swallows heavily, grinding her teeth together. She’s got her own issues, yeah, but that’s not Newport’s fault. It’s not his fault she gets freaked out by even the thought that he knows her well enough to get her coffee order right.

She trails behind Henry and Newport into the next room, hardly listening to Henry’s excited chatter about the room full of artifacts from early sailors and pioneers, and as he bounds ahead to one of the cases, she falls into step beside Newport.

“Thanks for coming with us,” Emma says, smiling as warmly as she can muster. “I know this probably isn’t the most ideal way to spend a Sunday afternoon, but –”

Newport shoots her a surprised look. “Oh, no, Emma. This is a marvelous way to spend a day.”

“Wandering around a museum with a kid you barely know?” she says, forcing her voice light and joking. “Your idea of marvelous is very different than mine.”

Instantly, Emma freezes, realizing that could be interpreted as her not enjoying being here with Henry, because, after all, he’s a kid she barely knows, and she quickly adds, “I – I don’t mean I’m not having a good time with Henry, I – you know, I was just saying –”

“I know, Swan.”

She glances to him, flustered, but finds him looking away, down at one of the cases with an old compass, his brow furrowed. Emma wasn’t looking too closely before, for said ‘issues’, but now that she’s looking at him, she notices dark circles under his eyes, his face paler than usual, his eyes slightly bloodshot.

“Are you okay, Wes? You look tired.”

“I’m fine,” he replies quickly, looking away from the compass and clearing his throat at her expression. “I, uh – had trouble sleeping last night.” He lifts his coffee cup up as if in salute, forcing a smile onto his face that comes nowhere close to reaching his eyes. “But that’s what this is for.”

Emma frowns, unsatisfied with that answer, but Henry appears then, dragging them towards the next room. There’s an eager gleam to Henry’s eyes and Emma soon realizes why – this next room is the key attracting feature of the museum, at least, in Henry’s eyes.

Pirates.

The room is full of glass cases, each with a bright light shining down on the artifacts within, making them glow throughout the room. The smaller cases are full of gleaming silver chains, thick round gold coins and worn pieces of parchment, with paintings and portraits on the wall of famous (and infamous) pirates and their ships. A large case in the centre of the room is full of swords, each with different handles and curves to their blades, while the largest display in the centre of the room holds an actual cannon, aimed as if to shoot them as they enter the room.

Emma may not be cultured as Regina put it, but she does know how to appreciate a good museum display, and this is one of the most fascinating rooms Emma has ever seen.

“Wow,” Newport says, echoing her thoughts, and Henry shoots Emma a triumphant look, and grabs onto his arm.

“Come look at this case, Mr. Newport!”

Henry drags Newport from case to case, watching him like a hawk as they move through the room. He’s practically bouncing on his heels, waiting for any indication that something will trigger his ‘cursed’ memories. But like at the previous cases, Newport’s interest remains neutral, positive but nothing extreme or reminiscent of someone ‘remembering’ a past life or whatever Henry thinks is going to happen.

At the fourth case, when they’re looking at the collection of swords, Newport clues into Henry’s game. Henry’s asking him about what sword he would like to use if he was a pirate or if he’d like another weapon, like a hook.

His voice is ever so innocent, but Newport raises an eyebrow at him, exchanging a quick look with Emma over Henry’s head. Emma feels another twinge in her stomach; not only is he spending the day with a kid he doesn’t really know, it just so happens to be a kid who thinks he’s the actual incarnation of a Disney villain in cahoots with his evil mother.

“Ah, I don’t know,” Newport says to Henry, his voice giving nothing away, looking back to the case of swords. He taps the lid, and continues, “This one here is, uh, sharp.”

Henry blinks, a flash of disappointment across his face. “Sharp? Is – is that it?” He lets out a hard sigh, but then steels himself, determination replacing his momentary disappointment. “Right. Okay, well, come look at this next case. There’s some stuff in here I think you’ll like.”

Henry leads them eagerly to more display cases, one after another, watching Newport carefully for any sign an item might mean something to him. They look at displays with old trunks, empty liquor bottles, ripped flags, dusty hats. Newport maintains a polite interest in the items as they go on, and it’s apparent Henry is becoming increasingly desperate and frustrated.

“Hey, kid,” Emma starts, deciding that it’s time she put an end to this. What was she thinking, allowing Henry to go on like this, dragging a man he actually thinks is a pirate through an exhibit of pirate artifacts? “I think – I think that we’ve been here long enough, what do you think? I bet Mr. Newport wants to see some of the pioneer stuff again, that was really cool, right, Wes?”

Henry speaks before Newport has a chance, shaking his head vigorously. “No, no! Come on, Mr. Newport, look at this stuff, this is the last case here –”

Newport sends Emma an apologetic shrug as Henry pulls him onwards, stopping him in front of a case full of old jewellery. It’s crowded with rows upon rows of rings and necklaces and bracelets. Newport dutifully looks down at the case, and though he’s appeared politely interested before, this time a strange expression crosses his face.

Henry sends Emma a triumphant look, and asks, “Anything – anything stand out to you?”

Newport doesn’t reply immediately. His gaze is lingering on a thick banded silver ring, a single glittering garnet set between two raised flower emblems, but when he straightens, his expression is impassive and cool again.

“Uh, no. It’s all very interesting.”

Henry regards him silently for a long moment, his brow scrunched in through, before he nods once, a trace of grin appearing on his lips. “Alright. That’s okay. Well, that’s the last exhibit here, but the outside part is gonna open soon, so we have to go see that. It’s my favourite part, I bet you’ll love it too.”

He casts a significant look to Emma at that, and she resists the urge to roll her eyes. The outside portion of the museum is where they keep the pirate ship that ‘apparently’ belonged to Newport.

Since they still have a few minutes to wait, Newport excuses himself to wander around the exhibit again, and he’s hardly five feet away from them before Henry turns to her, tugging on her arm excitedly.

“Did you see that, Emma? His reaction to the ring? I knew that would, I saw that ring in the book – but, it wasn’t enough, that’s okay – wait till he sees the ship outside!”

Emma grits her teeth, trying to bite her tongue and failing. “Henry –”

He ignores her, continuing, with a furtive glance over to Newport, “I need to look at my book again before we go outside to check if there’s anything else here we need to look at. Distract him, okay?”

“Henry,” Emma says again, warningly, but he’s already scampering away, off to a bench near the archway to the next room. He looks back to her significantly, jerking his head towards Newport, and Emma mutters a swear, finally moving over to join Newport.

He’s back at one of the cases, peering down at the handful of ripped flags in this one. He turns at her presence, his eyes finding Henry sitting down a few feet away.

“Everything alright, Swan?”

“Yeah, it’s all good. Listen, sorry about all this.” She glances behind her, but Henry’s head is buried in his book, and she lowers her voice even further as she says, “Henry – he really believes this stuff. But hopefully if he sees that you don’t suddenly remember that you’re actually a pirate, it might – well, it might do him some good.”

Newport nods, and his smile is genuine, if not a little sad. “I hope so too.”

She glances back to Henry, but his head is still buried in his book, and she sighs. “Well, I’ve been instructed to distract you until we can go outside – want to have another look around?”

Henry’s dragged them through most of the cases already, but as they make a loop around the room, Newport notices one they didn’t look at before. It features a bright, golden instrument, emblazoned with an elaborate chart on one side, some if it pinpointed with delicate clear crystals with adjoining sharp white lines.

“Cool,” Emma says, thinking it looks like a strange combination of a toy boat and a telescope. “What the hell is it?”

“It’s a sextant,” Newport replies, and Emma glances to him, eyes narrowing. For a wild moment, her mind falls down the rabbit hole of how the hell could he know that until she notices the card in front of the golden object: golden sextant – a sailor’s tool for navigation.

Oh. Of course.

“Well, it’s certainly bejewelled enough to belong to a pirate,” Emma comments, a bit wryly, but Newport doesn’t react to her comment.

He’s looking at the sextant with a furrowed brow, a slight twist to his lips. His frown deepens as he peers closer at the sextant, hand coming to rest on the glass separating it from them. For a moment, his eyes narrow in confusion, but then he removes his hand and shrugs, as if shaking off a chill.

Emma herself feels goosebumps rising on the back of her neck and her arms, unexpectedly taken aback by his reaction.

“You okay, Wes?”

“Hmm?” he replies, tearing his gaze away from the sextant. “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”

Henry bounds back up to them, then, his storybook clutched tightly in his arms, and he grins widely. “Come on, the outside part is open now! Let’s go!”

Newport’s reaction to the sextant lurks in Emma’s mind as they follow Henry towards the harbour door, but as they exit the museum and out onto the adjoining dock, the thought disappears at the sight of a massive pirate ship right in front of her.

“Holy crap.”

Even Emma has to admit, this ship does look a great deal like the book’s drawing. Sleek brown timbers, with bright yellows, reds, and blues painted along the hull that stand a vibrant contrast to the pure white keel. The ship has white sails too, but they’re still tied up in bunches around the masts, and countless ropes and weights hang in the free air. Even without the huge white sails unfurled, it still looks majestic and the sight of it there, in little Storybrooke’s harbour, takes her breath away.

She’s not the only one; Newport is staring up at the ship, eyes wide in astonishment.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

Henry’s words snap them both out of it, a knowing grin on his face. Emma shoots him a look, and Newport quickly schools his features into a neutral, only vaguely interested expression.

“Aye,” he says, but he’s not so easily able to mask his voice – it’s strained, uncomfortable, and he clears his throat quickly. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

“Really?” Henry says at once, almost daring him to deny it. “You’ve never seen it before?”

Newport glances over to Henry, and his expression is sad, almost disappointed, as if some part of him was hoping for a different answer, and he shakes his head.

“No, never.”

Though he’s kept up a good amount of determination up until now, through all the exhibits of Newport’s muted responses, at the reaction to the ship, Henry deflates, all his excitement and hope draining out of him in an instant.

“Oh. I thought – oh.”

Newport and Emma exchange a look, Newport looking uncomfortable and apologetic. Emma bends down so she can see Henry eye-to-eye, swallowing back her own discomfort at not knowing what to say to him. She was hoping for this outcome, in a twisted way, that he’d see Newport doesn’t know anything, but she hates the look it has created on Henry’s face. It may all be a fantasy, but Henry believes it, and was sincerely hoping this would reveal that his life isn’t as he thought it was. And after all, Emma knows exactly how it feels to wish your reality was different than it truly is.

“Want to keep looking, Henry?” she asks, as gently as she can. “It looks like we can go onto the ship.”

He shakes his head, shifting his storybook so he’s hugging it tighter against his chest, turning away from the ship. “No. If this didn’t work … the curse is stronger than I thought.” He pauses, and then shrugs, looking sad and lost. “I’m tired. Can we go home now?”

“Yeah,” Emma replies, and she grips his shoulder tightly in what she hopes is comforting. “Of course.”

She steers Henry back inside, Newport a few steps behind them, after casting one final look back towards the ship. They navigate their way through the exhibits again, and when they’re back outside at the front of the museum, Emma turns to Newport before heading to her car. “Do you want a ride home?”

He doesn’t answer, frowning to himself. He’s been quiet since they left the ship and it takes Emma saying his name twice before he jolts, as if shaking himself as if out of a trance.

“Sorry, love. My thoughts are out to sea. What did you say?”

“Do you want a ride back to your place? It’s on the way to Regina’s.”

He shakes his head slowly, looking vaguely out behind her, to the lapping waters of the harbour, to the tall masts of the pirate ship still visible over the building. “No, thank you, love. I – I think I’d like a walk along the water.”

Emma frowns, slight goosebumps raising on her neck again. But he’s turning to Henry, bending down to be at his level.

“Goodbye, Henry. Thank you for inviting me today. I had a lovely time.”

Henry nods, unconvinced, saying “Bye, Mr. Newport” as he turns towards the car.

Newport and Emma exchange another look, before Emma waves goodbye and turns to follow Henry. She glances back before getting into the car; Newport is where she left him, staring out at the harbour.

Emma shakes her head, pushing aside her own lingering questions for now, and gets into the car. Henry is quiet the entire ride back to Regina’s house, staring out the window with a frown.

It makes Emma’s heart twinge. Though she was hoping Henry would see that Newport is a normal guy, not some storybook pirate, the fact that this is hurting Henry so much – well, Emma finds herself almost wishing there had been some truth to the story, if only not to see the sad expression on her kid’s face.

But that’s the thing about Henry believing these stories, Emma reasons, her resolve turning to steel. It’s only going to keep hurting him – and she needs to get him back to reality.

#cs ff #cs mc ff #the line break things don't work anymore so excuse the formatting #also idk about this chapter and emma in it but alas #cs fic #from the sea #captain swan

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drsilverfish · 5 years

Text

The Riddle of the Sphinx: 14x12 Prophet and Loss

First, thanks to @verobatto-angelxhunter @gneisscastiel @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @mrsaquaman187 for inviting me to guest this week, as part of their ongoing SPN #Metafest project @metafest

along with several other guests: @bluephoenixrises @poorreputation @agusvedder @amwritingmeta @savannadarkbaby @prairiedust and

@norahastuff

I’m going to guest meta about the Riddle of the Sphinx.

Here is creepy Tony Alvarez drowning his first victim.

Despite an opening dose of Bucklemming torture-porn (ugh - although tbf there was a narrative point, as the drowned girl was a mirror for Dean, just like the slain first-born son and the dude who almost got barbecued were - more on that later...)... So, yeah, despite that, I was thrilled to see this in the visual narrative architecture - the Sphinx Machine Shop, where Tony does his mangled prophecy induced killing.

The Sphinx, as you know, is a fearsome part-woman, part winged-lion beastie, in Greek mythology, who was famous for guarding the entrance to Thebes and asking travellers to solve the answer to a riddle in order to gain safe passage to the city. If they failed, she devoured them.

She is tied in mythology not just to puzzles and their solutions, but to fate...

Here is the Sphynx of Naxos, from the Temple of Apollo at Delphi (560 BCE)

Image from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphinx_of_Naxos

The Temple of Delphi was the site of the Oracle of Delphi, who was the High Priestess Pythia (a transferrable role) famous for her prophesies, which came to her in trance-states, supposedly from the God Apollo.

You see the link to SPN’s own Prophet role here....

The Sphinx also, famously, appears in Sophocles’ play Oedipus Rex, which became the basis for Freud’s also famous (and relevant a bit later) “Oedipus complex”. Sophocles didn’t invent the myth, but his telling is its most famous rendition.

Despite his other misfortunes, Oedipus doesn’t get devoured by the Sphinx, because he solves her riddle, a popular rendition of which is:

“What goes on four legs, on two legs, on three, and the more legs it goes on, the weaker it be?”

The answer, is - a human (baby, adult, old person with a stick).

Oedipus’ story is a classic story about fate, just like Appointment in Samara (re-worked in an SPN episode, 6x11, but originally an old Mesopotamian tale) which @mittensmorgul and I were talking about just recently, in relation to themes of fate vs free will in SPN (specifically in relation to the role played by Death - see here for the discussion:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182454009599/mittensmorgul-drsilverfish-mittensmorgul )

Oedipus’ story is a (f-d up) family drama - rather relevant to our very own Family Winchester [no, NOT because this is all about either of the boys wanting to sleep with Mary Winchester - thanks Dr. Freud - although, come to think of it, Dean did say she was hot in 4x03 In The Beginning :-)]

14x13 Lebanon promo shot

When baby Oedipus is born, his father King Laius receives a prophecy that his son will grow up to kill him, and so, he sends a shepherd to expose the baby on the mountainside to die, before that can happen. The shepherd however, not being an asshole, saves the baby, and raises him secretly as his own.

Oedipus grows up, and he eventually learns from the Oracle at Delphi herself (see above) that he is fated to kill his father and marry his mother. Believing the shepherd and his wife are his true mother and father, whom he loves, he leaves his home in the mountains for the city of Thebes, determined to defy the prophecy.

On the way, he meets a quarrelsome old man on the road, they fight, and Oedipus kills him:

When he gets to Thebes, he finds the King has been slain, by persons unknown, and the town is at the mercy of the Sphinx. Oedipus, by guessing the Sphinx’s riddle, obtains safety for the town and is, in gratitude, appointed King himself and given the widowed Queen, Jocasta’s, hand in marriage.

All is well for a bit, until a plague descends on Thebes, and Oedipus is told that to save the city, he must avenge King Laius’ death. So, he goes sleuthing, with the extremely relucant help of his seer Tiresius, and to his horror, discovers that he is the one who killed the King (that old dude on the road to Thebes all those years ago), that he is the King’s true son, and has, therefore, killed his father and, in marrying Queen Jocasta, married his mother and committed incest, fulfilling the prophecy he set out to escape from. He promptly blinds himself in horror. Poor ancient Greek dude.

The Chorus laments the power of fate

O heavy hand of fate! Who now more desolate, Whose tale more sad than thine, whose lot more dire? O Oedipus, discrowned head, Thy cradle was thy marriage bed;

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/31/31-h/31-h.htm - Project Gutenberg translation of Oedipus Rex.

A reference to the story of Oedipus and the Sphinx is extremely pregnant right now in the SPN narrative, for two reasons:

1) Fate vs Free Will

2) The Ghost of John Winchester

1) Fate vs Free Will

Dean thinks his interpretation of the book Billie handed him in 14x10 Nihilism - apparently the only death of his in which AU!Michael doesn’t take over his meat-suit and burn the world - means he has to sink himself to the bottom of the ocean, in the Ma’lak (angel) box and that’s “fate”.

Like Oedipus, there is no escape.

However, 14x12 tells us two things. Firstly, by analogy - the prophecy is wrong. Alvarez thinks he is carrying out the prophetic Word of God TM by recreating a twisted version of the Plagues of Egypt sent by God in Exodus:

1) The slaughter of a first-born son

2) Drowning in the Red Sea

3) Fire out of Heaven

(all of which are mirrors for what Dean thinks is his “fate” right now: death of a first born son; being drowned forever at the bottom of the ocean in the Ma’lak box; being consumed by the AU Archangel Michael’s Heavenly grace/fire).

But it’s a garbled message, received as a result of Prophet Donatello’s comatose scramblings.

Secondly, screw prophecy - against the odds, Dr. Sexy of the Lord (yeah - you know Dean thought it) is able to revive Donatello, thus preventing further scramblings (aka wrong prophesies).

CASTIEL: “Dean - if there is a spark, a hope, then I have to try.... you taught me that!”

I loved that line, with its resonance all the way back, like a skein of blue grace, to the Apocalypse Mark One, when Dean convinced Castiel, in Zacharia’s (also due to return in 14x13 Lebanon) “green room” in 4x22 Lucifer Rising, to disobey Heaven for the sake of humanity (Yes, Dean, an angel did fall for you...).

In other words, just as the Winchesters beat their “fate” to be “angel condoms” for Michael and Lucifer last time around, by “tearing up the script” and “making it up as they go” (4x22 Lucifer Rising) thanks to the help of rebel angel Castiel, so they can do so again.

2) The Ghost of John Winchester

In the SPN world’s worst kept spoiler, we know John will return next week in 14x13 Lebanon. We’ve been meta’ing about the ghost of John Winchester haunting the SPN narrative for... forever.

Here is some meta of mine on the subject from S12:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/158388550099/john-winchesters-ghost-and-the-haunting-of-s12

John is explicitly recalled, during the brothers’ (beautifully rendered) car conversation in 14x12:

DEAN: “You ever think about when we were kids?”

SAM: “Maybe, yeah, sure, sometimes, why?”

DEAN: “I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother to you.”

SAM: “Dean, you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. I mean, you practically raised me.”

DEAN: “I know things got dicey, you know with Dad, the way he was... and I just.... I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should of. I mean, I had my own stuff, y’know, and in order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes, when I was away, you know it wasn’t cos I just ran out, right? Dad would, he would send me away, when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.”

SAM: “Man I left that behind a long time ago, I had to.”

AU!Michael, I’ve been arguing since the start of the season, is a mirror for Dean’s self-repression and for John Winchester. See:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179463975289/shirtlesssammy-14x03the-scar-meta-writers

John was one of the major causes of Dean’s self-repression, as illustrated in the convo above, where it’s clear Dean had to grow up too fast to become a substitute-parent to Sam, where he was often obedient to their father to “keep the peace”, and where he was also often, unreasonably, punished by his father in the process (such as, as we already know, when he was sent to Sonny’s after stealing food for Sam in 9x07 Bad Boys).

According to psychoanalysis, we always internalise psychological constructs of our parents - Freud calls them imagos. So the Riddle of the Sphinx, for Dean, is how to kill (or rather, lay to rest) the ghost of his father (whom AU! Michael is a mirror for) and with it, the self-repression which has wounded him so much, psychically, since childhood, without letting it kill him too.

Nick, of course (general shudder) also serves as a John Winchester mirror in the episode - his obsessive revenge quest for the slaughter of his wife (aka mirror Mary Winchester) by Abraxas, led to something she never wanted - damage to innocents along the way (aka mirror innocents, Sam and Dean).

To Conclude

The answer to the Sphinx’s riddle, the one that helped Oedipus avoid being devoured by her was.... humanity.

Light Sphinx, 2015-2016, Mixed media (inc. foam, hand stitched fabrics, LEDs, beads, synthetic hair), 74 x 32 x 54 cm by Tarryn Gill

https://tarryngill.com/Light-Sphinx-Shadow-Sphinx-2015-16

Dean IS the symbolic representation of humanity (which is why Amara was so fascinated by him, and let’s not forget Metatron’s words about Castiel in 9x22 Stairway to Heaven - “He’s in love with.... humanity”).

Our first-born Winchester son just has to believe what this episode showed him - prophecy can be wrong.

His “fate” - to die, to drown forever, to be consumed by holy grace/fire, to remain trapped by the ghost of his father, by his own self-repression, by AU!Michael, by the Ma’lak box (aka, in subtext, the closet) is NOT the “Word of God”.

And killing one’s father doesn’t (as it did for Oedipus) have to mean damnation, if, the way one does it, is symbolically, by laying his ghost to rest in one’s heart and mind (hello upcoming SPN 300 14x13 Lebanon).

Freud believed the resolution of the Oedipus complex (for boys) was identification with the father (and no, we don’t have to concur with Dr. Freud). Dean has actually been on an oppositve journey, to get out from under his father’s shadow.

The Jungian solution, which the S14 narrative is offering to the metaphorical Riddle of the Sphinx, is, to turn around and embrace the Shadow-self (the parts of oneself one has repressed) and in so doing, to evolve - to become more fully human.

So, a final salute to Jerry Wanek and team, and the ever wonderful SPN set dressing narrative, for The Sphinx Machine shop!

NB:

You can read my Jungian Meta series here, if you’re interested:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration

And if, you want to read more of my SPN meta in general, go visit my blog and look under the “Meta” sidebar tag: http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/tagged/Meta

Plus, if you want to read lots of other people’s fabulous SPN meta, go check out the “SPN Meta” sidebar tag: http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/tagged/SPN%20Meta

Thanks for having me @metafest !

DrSphinx out.

#Supernatural #SPN meta #Metafest #14x12 #Prophet and Loss #Winchester Family Dynamics #Dean vs repression #Fate vs Free Will #Set dressing narrative #Jerry Wanek #SPN spoilers #Meta

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plaidbooks · 3 years

Text

Liquid Courage

A/N: Okay, so, this Sonny Carisi x reader fic was literally just an excuse to write drunk!Sonny. Idk how it got so long, but here we are. My headcanon is that Sonny is...touch starved is the wrong adjective. Affectionate? Touchy? Something. Hope y'all enjoy!

Tags: SVU talk, alcohol mention

Words: 3270

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @storiesofsvu @lv7867 @cycat4077 @barbasimp @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @reading--mermaid @glimmerglittergirl @alwaysachorusgirl @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

You were standing in the vast hallways of the courthouse, waiting to hear if your testimony helped at all. You were a Medical Examiner for the Manhattan NYPD, meaning you couldn’t tailor your statements like the detectives or victims could; you only spoke about the facts. And the facts were simple; with the injuries the deceased sustained, they died from asphyxiation. Could it have been caused by their husband wrapping a soft material around their throat? Of course. Could it also have been caused by the victim hanging herself in her room? Yes, it could. The same could be said for a thousand other scenarios. The difference was the husband was found to be abusive, and it was highly suspected that he killed her. But that was the detective’s job. Yours was to give them the facts. Did you want the sick fuck behind bars? Of course, but that wasn’t what you were called for—no opinions, just facts.

The SVU squad caught up with you quickly; Olivia, Amanda, Fin, and Sonny. You adverted your eyes when you saw Sonny; you had a crush on him, though you were only friends. At first, you were just the ME, hardly talking to him…or any of the squad, really, outside of work-related things. But he was charming and made it a point to talk to you every time he visited about, well, everything. Soon enough, you knew all about his family, and he knew about yours. He even invited you over for game night with the squad a few times.

“Jury back yet?” you asked as they got closer. You asked Olivia, but your eyes darted to Sonny a few times, your cheeks burning. He, of course, decided to stand right next to you, close enough to touch.

“Not yet; it’s only been a few hours—” Olivia was cut off as her phone pinged. She pulled it out of her pocket, glancing at the screen. “Never mind; jury’s back now.” You followed them to the courtroom, and congratulated them all, including Barba, when the jury came back with a guilty conviction.

“Celebratory drinks?” Amanda asked, grinning. Everyone agreed with that…except for you.

Sonny looked to you expectantly, but you shook your head. “I’d love to, but I’d rather decompress at home,” you replied, smiling sheepishly.

The detectives all nodded in understanding. Sonny patted your arm lightly, muttering a, “you’ll be missed. See ya on Monday,” before following his coworkers. You trailed behind before splitting from the group, heading home while they headed in the direction of Forlini’s.

*****************

You were at home, reading a book while soft piano music played softly on your speakers. You jumped as your phone rang. Looking at the id, you cocked an eyebrow. Sonny was calling you?

“Hey, Sonny; everything okay?” you asked as you answered.

There was loud music playing and voices before Sonny’s voice overpowered them all. “Heyyyy doll! I hope you’re doing okaaaay.”

Oh god, he was drunk. You let out a little huff of laughter, shaking your head. “I’m doing just fine, Son. How’re you?”

“I-I miss you,” he hiccupped, and your cheeks burned. “I wanted to l-let you know….” He pulled away from the phone for a moment, talking to someone before he was back. “I app-appreciate all you do, and I-I looooove youuuu~.” He dragged out the last two words, saying them in a sing-song voice.

Your heart leapt into your throat. He was obviously drunk; he didn’t mean it like that…or did he? “Do you need me to come pick you up?” you asked, concerned.

Sonny’s words all melded together and you couldn’t understand what he was saying anymore.

“Okay, I’ll be right there. Stay. There,” you ordered, pulling your shoes on. At least he was with his squad. He slurred something else unintelligible before hanging up, and you rolled your eyes, a small grin on your lips.

********************

You made it to Forlini’s in record time, glancing around at the patrons, looking for the lanky detective. He wasn’t too hard to find; in the corner of the bar was the whole SVU squad, and Sonny was loud. He was laughing at something, pounding his hand on the table, his head thrown back as he guffawed. Picking out a path towards him, you weaved through the crowded bar feeling completely out-of-place in your sweats and loose shirt.

Once close enough, you reached a hand out, laying your hand on Sonny’s elbow. He jumped, whipping around to look at you and almost falling off his seat in the process. His cheeks were rosy, and he had the widest grin on his face as his watery eyes focused on you.

“You came! Can I b-buy you a drink?” Sonny asked loudly, his voice carrying over the rest of the cacophony in the bar.

You gave him a soft smile. “Actually, I think it’s time to take you home, Son,” you replied. The rest of the squad seemed to be in various states of sober or tipsy, but Sonny was obviously the one that was gone. He didn’t object as you helped him stand, waving a goodbye to the rest of the squad, and pulling him through the bar.

“Guys! The hot ME is taking me home!” Sonny yelled, and you ducked your head, your face on fire. Other drunks in the bar congratulated him, and you as well, as you made your way through the throng. You just wrapped an arm tighter around Sonny’s waist, pulling him towards the exit.

Once outside, Sonny wrapped his arms around your midsection, pulling you close to him. “Have I told you how much I love you?” he asked, resting his head on top of yours.

“You may have mentioned it on the phone,” you commented, trying to drag him towards your car.

Sonny was having trouble walking straight, mostly because he was trying to wrap himself around you. “I mean it, d-doll. You’re so fuckin’ smm-art and pretty and funny and cute and beautiful…” he trailed off, leaning almost completely on you now, his weight crushing you.

“Uh huh,” you replied, smiling despite yourself. You knew he was only saying this because he was drunk; sober-Sonny would never be like this. It left a pang of sadness in your heart, because you really did like him. But come tomorrow, he’d remember none of it, and life would go back to normal.

You made it to your car and deposited him in the passenger seat, buckling him in. Sonny attempted to get out, but the seatbelt held him down. He seemed confused, pulling at the material across his chest as you slid into the driver’s seat. You cracked his window so that he’d get some fresh air and pulled away from the curb. You knew where he lived, so you headed in that direction.

“Love you,” Sonny muttered, his eyes glued to your face. You smiled, ignoring the fluttering those words made burst forth. Only in your wildest dreams did Sonny say those words to you, but he’s said it so much tonight...at least it would fuel some late night fantasies. You jumped as his hand connected gently with your head. You were about to ask what he was doing until you realized; he was petting your hair.

“So soft…” he breathed, his fingers twining through the strands of hair. Your breathing hitched slightly, and you tried to focus on the road.

“Is there a reason you’re petting me?” you asked, chuckling lightly.

“Cause your hair is so soft, so pretty…feels so nice,” Sonny replied. You were thankfully getting close to his place when you noticed him moving; it seemed like he was trying to fight the seatbelt, but couldn’t quite figure it out.

“What are you doing?” you asked, alarmed.

Sonny grunted against the impossible belt holding him down. “Wanna cuddle. Wanna hold you.” He said it almost angrily, but that was directed more at the damned seatbelt holding him from you.

“Sonny, stop struggling; wait until we’re not in the car,” you instructed. He let out a huff of defeat, sinking into the seat grumpily before dissolving into giggles.

You pulled up in front of his apartment complex shortly after. As you got out and came around to his side, you let out a chuckle, watching Sonny fight and lose against the seatbelt. You hurried to open his door, leaning across him, and clicking his seatbelt off.

“Freedom!” Sonny cheered as you helped him out of the car. Though, now free of the car, nothing stopped him from draping his body over yours, leaning over your back.

“Sonny, this isn’t helpful—” you started before he cut you off.

“Mmm cuddles,” he murmured, his voice directly in your ear, slurring even worse than before.

You struggled under his weight as he forced more of himself on you, wrapping his arms completely around your torso and arms, leaning almost completely on top of you, forcing you to bend forwards under his weight. “S-Sonny…I need you to walk with me, man,” you huffed, trying to take the few steps into his building.

“Can we cuddle, though?” Sonny asked, wrapping a leg around your waist.

You had to stop walking, spreading your legs so that he didn’t completely throw you off balance. “Oh my god; yes, we can cuddle. But let’s get inside first.”

Reluctantly, he peeled himself off you…mostly. He kept his arms around you as you tried to hurry to his door, before he changed his mind and rewrapped around you.

“Keys?” you asked as you made it to his apartment.

Sonny seemed barely conscious at this point, leaning fully on you again, but from the side this time. You had to lean partly against the wall to keep from falling. “You’rrrrre prettyyy,” he hummed in your ear.

“Yes, thank you. Where’s your keys?” you repeated. Sonny swayed on his feet, blinking slowly, showing no signs of hearing you. You sighed, reaching into his pockets, searching for any kind of jingling. You found his phone and wallet easily enough before your fingers closed around his keyring.

As you pulled your hand out of his pants pocket, he said in a low voice, “I like when you touch me.”

Heat rushed to your face, and you ignored him, as well as the rush of arousal you felt, and unlocked the door. “Come on,” you grunted, dragging him over the threshold. You half led, half carried Sonny back to his bedroom. Once his bed was in sight, Sonny extracted himself from you, moving to collapse onto the mattress, face-first and laying diagonally across it, legs dangling off the side. Bending down, you were able to get his shoes off quickly before he rolled onto his back.

He reached out for you, muttering, “cuddles” over and over again as you shook your head at him.

“Hold on, Son. Let me go to the bathroom really quick,” you lied. You had no intentions of cuddling with him, nervous about what he may do. Sonny was a good guy, but alcohol was a hell of a drug.

He nodded to you, letting his arms fall to his sides. You quickly leaned over him, loosening his tie and pulling it off. “Be right back,” you said, leaving his room and closing the door behind you.

Searching in his kitchen, you quickly found glasses. You filled one with water before heading back towards his room. You debated finding food for him, but water seemed more important right now. That is, until you opened his bedroom door and found him passed out. Sighing once more, you deposited the glass on his nightstand, then reached into his pockets, pulling out his wallet and phone. His charger was laying on the floor by the nightstand, and you plugged in his phone while he snored loudly. Then, as gently as you could, you lifted his legs and pulled them to the bed, angling him so that his head was on the pillows…more or less.

Shaking your head slightly and fighting a smile, you crept out of his room, letting him sleep it off. You wondered if you should just go home, but you were worried about him; he had gotten pretty drunk. Making your way back to the kitchen, you glanced in his fridge. He kept it well-stocked, and you vaguely remembered him telling you he liked to cook. Nodding to yourself, you went to the couch in the living room, making yourself comfortable, and falling asleep quickly.

********************

You awoke early in the morning. The apartment was silent, and you stretched before getting up. After splashing some water in your face while in the bathroom, you made your way to the kitchen. You took out the eggs, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, cheese, and salsa you had found the previous night. You weren’t a whiz in the kitchen, but you could make an omelet easily enough. Searching through cabinets for pans, you also found a cheese grater. You glanced at the potatoes in a basket on the counter, deciding to add some hash browns to the mix. Greasy food was the best for hangovers. Finding the pans, you started grating the potatoes, letting them cook a bit before starting on the meat.

There was a beep behind you, and you jumped before you realized it was the automatic coffeemaker. You searched until you found mugs, then made yourself a cup as you cooked. Once the meat and potatoes were done, you turned everything to low, waiting for Sonny to wake up. Eggs don’t take much to cook, and you could make them as he showered or drank coffee.

As if your thoughts summoned him, you could hear Sonny shuffling about in his room. The door slowly opened, and a very disgruntled-looking Sonny stumbled out of his room. Since waking, he had stripped down to his boxers and undershirt, making your cheeks burn. His eyes were barely open, and his hair hung limply on his face as he rubbed his head.

When he caught you in his kitchen, he froze, eyes going wide. “Wh-what are you doing here?” he muttered. His eyes traveled over the various pans on the stove before coming back to your face. “Wait…please tell me we didn’t….”

“N-no! I just gave you a ride home last night, then slept on your couch to make sure you didn’t die from alcohol poisoning,” you explained. Though, you were slightly disappointed with how upset he seemed about potentially sleeping with you.

Sonny nodded, moving to make himself a cup of coffee. “And the breakfast is just a bonus?”

“I figured you’d need the help. You were pretty…fucked up last night,” you smiled, and he groaned.

“Please tell me I didn’t do anything too embarrassing,” he mumbled as you cracked the eggs into the pan.

You salted and peppered the eggs, then moved to poke at the hash browns, making sure they weren’t sticking to the pan. “I wasn’t there at the bar, so you’d have to ask your squad for that story. But, uh, I did watch you lose a fight to a seatbelt.”

“Fucking fantastic,” he replied, letting out a soft chuckle. He came over to you as you flipped the eggs, watching you work. “That it? Nothing else? Because I did wake up fully clothed, minus shoes and a tie.”

Your cheeks burned and you kept your eyes on the eggs as you put the mushrooms on top. “I’ve learned you really want cuddles when drunk…and that you think my hair is soft.” You didn’t dare look at him as you sprinkled some cheese on the mushrooms, then folded half the eggs on top of it. You plated the omelet, pouring some salsa on top and adding more cheese. “The tie just seemed like a safety precaution.”

You kept your eyes on the food, even as you felt Sonny staring at you. Once you had scooped hash browns, sausage, and bacon onto the plate, you chanced a glance at him, offering him the plate. Sonny’s eyes bored into yours, holding you there for what seemed like forever before he took the plate from you.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

You gave him a small smile. “Anytime,” you breathed back. Sonny moved to a free spot on the counter, taking small bites of food. But his eyes went wide as he tasted it, and he started shoveling food into his mouth. Grinning, you scooped the rest of the food onto another plate before moving to soak the pans.

You ate in silence, pausing only to drink coffee. Having less food, you finished first, then moved to start doing the dishes.

“No, no. You made this amazing food; I’ll do dishes,” Sonny said, swallowing hard.

You shook your head. “It’s fine, Son; I made a mess of your kitchen. I’ll clean it—”

“Like hell you will. First, you made sure I made it home safe. Second, you stayed the night to make sure I didn’t die. And third, you made me the best breakfast I’ve had in a long time—I swear my hangover is gone. You are not doing dishes.”

You smirked. “Okay fine, you win.” Instead, you finished your coffee, rinsing the mug out in the sink. Sonny continued eating, and you felt awkward standing in his kitchen. “So…I guess I’ll see you at work?” you said as a way of goodbye. You grabbed your phone off the counter, slowly making your way to his door.

“Wait!” Sonny called out, following you out of the kitchen. You cocked an eyebrow at him, and he shifted on his feet. “I-I feel like I should give you a better thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

“It’s fine, Sonny, really. That’s what friends are for, right?” you shrugged.

Sonny seemed to fight with himself for a moment before he muttered, barely audible for you to hear, “what if…I don’t want to be just friends?”

“What?” you asked, your heart racing. He wasn’t drunk anymore, and if what he was saying was true….

He came closer to you. “What if I don’t want to be just friends?” he repeated. “It seems like…drunk me was at least trying to flirt with you…. Something sober me is too damn nervous to even attempt.” When you still didn’t respond, he let out a huff. “What I mean is, I-I like you…a lot. And I’d, uh, I’d like to get to know you better?”

“You’re not still drunk, are you?” you asked, half-joking. Sonny shook his head, eyes wide. “Okay, good. Because you kinda did profess your love to me last night…but I was afraid that it was only because you were drunk.”

Sonny ran a hand over his face. “Did I really? I’m…so sorry if I made you uncomfortable—”

“No, it’s fine, really. I, uh…I’ve liked you for a while now. I was just worried that it was your drunk self that liked me, and not, uh, you,” you explained.

Sonny smiled sarcastically. “Drunk me says what sober me is thinking…most of the time.” He rubbed his neck anxiously. “So, uh, can we go on a date? No alcohol, I promise.”

You chuckled. “I’d like that. You obviously have my number—call me?”

“Of course. Let me clean up here—myself as well as the sink—and then I’ll give you a call,” Sonny grinned genuinely this time, and you melted.

“Sounds good. Talk to you soon.” You made your way out of his apartment, giving him a small wave. As he closed the door behind you, you broke out in a wide grin, excited for a date with Detective Carisi.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #I need to hang out with drunk Sonny

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eclecticminded · 5 years

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Stripping Bare

@madpanda75 asked: Ok! I finally picked an idea for the giveaway story request! What if you’re working undercover as a stripper during a stakeout and Barba (who you’ve always had a thing for) sees the footage which leads to the two of you hooking up 😉 Maybe the reader shows Barba some of her moves??

Girl yes! This was fun to write, and makes me want to invest in a pole for my fat ass. Here we go! Hope you like!

Words: 1940

You go undercover as a stripper, Rafael likes what he sees.

Warnings: Sex. Brief mention of torture and murder. Creep guys.

Tags: @southsiderepresent @glimmerglittergirl @madpanda75 @southern-magnolia @katmstanton @esparza-army @sweetsummertime99 @obfuscateyummy @lifeisbetterwithbarba @lyssa1385 @hux-me-up @bowieisawizard @sleepylunarwolf @mrsrafaelbarba anyone else ask! Also I have a Kofi (link in blog description) if anyone wants to donate!

When you took the pole dancing for fitness class while in college, you never expected to love it so much. Never expected to have one installed in your apartment. And you sure as hell never expected to be going under cover as one. But you had the skill set and could kick ass, so here you were. Ricky Rogers, Double R as he was known on the street, owned a less than reputable strip joint. He was selling his girls to be a part of torture snuff films, and one of them barely made it. Barely.

Elise was no longer able to speak but she wrote pages upon pages of what happened to her, and what dirty dealing Double R was up to. Only problem, you needed cold hard facts, not just her words. Fin was trying to use his old vice connections to get a girl to go under for the squad, but no one wanted to work Double R’s joint. That’s where you came in.

It started off as a joke, you mentioned you took a pole dancing class and befor you knew it you were out buying pasties and fishnets. Fin went undercover with you as a patron, you had a camera in the necklace you wore, but he was there for back up and additional surveillance. He was essentially your handler. Every night you worked, Fin got a private lap dance and you updated each other on the situation.

Rumor had it that Double R was posting about having a new perky toy for sale, and wouldn’t you know it, the ad fit your description. After that night you noticed Nick, Mike, and Sonny occasionally in the crowd. All four men had camera glasses, and Liv was watching nearby with Amanda. Hell even Rafael was there, making sure everything was by the book. At least that’s what he said; really he wanted to see you in action.

Towards closing before your set, Double R told you there was a special private dance for you after you left stage. It was go time. Once you were on stage with Lana Del Rey blaring around you, that stress faded away. For the next thirty minutes you got to live it up one last time. You spun around the pole teasing the audience, getting them ready. Climbing to the top of the pole, you slowly slide down while money fell around you.

Once you were back on the ground, you bent over, grasping the pole and shaking your ass. With a leap and a little luck, your legs held you up while you leaned backwards and spun slowly. The bright flashing lights made you dizzy and you dropped to your knees during your second to last song. Fin caught your eye and you sexily crawled towards him, he raised and eye when you pulled him forward by his tie.

“I’m meeting a special client after this, its go time,” you whispered in his ear and he nodded.

“Liv says be careful and remember we got your back,” he tucked a few ones in your thong and you went back to performing for the crowd. As you put on your grand finale, you saw Mike head to the bathrooms, and back entrance. Nick was hanging by the private dance booths. Sonny was by the front at the bar. And Fin stood his ground next to the stage.

After you were off stage and the money tucked away safe, Double R came for you. His grip was rough and made your skin crawl. Every instinct said to punch him and run, but you pushed forward. Had to keep all the other girls safe that could fall into his trap. He pulled you past Nick, past Mike even, and out the back door and shoved you into a waiting SVU. It pulled off and you internally panicked.

“Even better in person,” a venomous voice called from the dark, it made you want to vomit.

“You must be my private dance, can’t do much in here baby,” you batted your eyes and calmed when you saw the van holding Olivia, Amanda, and Rafael follow you. Behind them were the guys and you knew you’d be fine.

“Thought we’d take this somewhere more private,” the greasy man licked his lips and your stomach turned. What a gross slimy mother fucker! He pulled you onto his lap and you spent the ride grinding against him, trying not to throw up.

Thankfully it was a short drive to a warehouse, upon entering you knew it was his torture chamber. Cameras, medical equipment, medieval torture devices, and the like all lined the floor space. There was even an audience. Perfect, you’d get to bring down more skeevy motherfuckers.

“What the hell is this,” you popped your hip and tried to form a plan, “I wasn’t told about an audience.”

“Doesn’t matter what you want,” the man gripped your hair in a panful fist and jerked you to the table. You were strapped onto an exam table and people circling when they finally burst in to save you. It all went by in a blur. You were freed, people arrested, and Rafael had you in a NYPD wind breaker.

“Saved this one for you,” Fin had the skeevy man on his knees and handed you a pair of cuffs.

“What took you so long,” you glared.

“Had to wait for SWAT, they were dragging their feet,” Fin laughed.

“Figures, probably jacking off to my dancing,” you rolled your eyes and read the man his rights. It took several hours but everyone was processed and awaiting arraignment, it was Friday night and they had to wait until Monday. Perfect, it meant you got a break.

After the initial checks in, everyone gave you space to decompress. Except for Rafael, but you didn’t mind; you’d had a thing for him since you’d met. He insisted on riding home with you. Insisted that while you showered he run around the corner for takeout. Hell he nearly invited himself to spend the night, he didn’t like that you’d been put in a position to almost be hurt. He had a thing for you too, not that you knew.

The trial flew by and everything back to normal, Elise was thankful you’d avenged her and you were back to dancing on your own pole. You and Rafael had grown closer since the operation, best friends even. Neither of you admitting to the other your feelings, afraid it’d ruin what you had.

One night you dropped past his office to ask if he wanted to grab a late dinner and you caught him with his pants down. Literally. He was at his desk, cock in his hand, jacking off to something on his computer. You both stared at each other frozen while Lana Del Rey played from his computer.

“Are you jacking off to me stripping Rafi,” your hand clamped over your eyes while he put himself away.

“Noooo,” he slammed his laptop shut and fumbled with his pants.

“You can’t lie to me,” you peeked at him.

“Maaayyybbbeee,” he was reduced to one word responses from the embarrassment of being caught.

“Ah screw it,” you marched across the room to him and kissed him. His stubbled cheeks were rough against your palms, his lips soft and warm.

“You’re not slapping me,” Rafael raised an eyebrow when you pulled away, clearly confused.

“Nope,” you pecked his lips again, “I like you Rafael. Like like you. I want to fuck you.”

“You what,” his eye widened and you started back peddling.

“Forget I said anything,” you stumbled backwards to escape, but he pulled you back to him.

“I want you too,” he kissed you, his hands roaming your body, gripping and grabbing whatever he could latch on to.

“I came to ask you to dinner,” you panted, “But I don’t want food anymore.”

“Food after,” he nipped your neck.

“Come on Rafi,” you rushed him through grabbing his things, “I’m giving you a private dance.”

The mood was set with Christmas lights and flickering candles while Lana Del Rey played. You came strutting out in tall black heels, a fishnet body suit, red thong, and heart shaped nipple tassels. Rafael nearly came in his pants right then and there. Using the pole to hold you up, you spread your legs and danced down to squatting. A quick turn and you were standing up, your ass shaking in his face. He grabbed at your hips and you swatted him away.

“No touching,” you pulled away and jumped onto the pole to spin. Holding yourself up with your thighs, you humped the pole and palmed your chest.

“You interrupted me before I finished,” Rafael growled, “I want to taste you.”

“Come get it,” you dropped to the ground and leaned backwards against the pole. Rafael dropped to the ground in front of you and spread your legs. Staring into your soul, he ripped the fishnets and pushed the thong aside. His broad tongue lapped up and down your folds, sending shivers up your spine.

“Hold on,” he demanded and lifted your leg to lay over his shoulder. You gripped the pole behind you to stay upright, the other hand tight in his hair while he ate you to completion. He was spinning you around the second your foot hit the floor, his pants dropped, and the sound of a condom being ripped open made you smirk.

“Fuck me papi,” you wiggled your ass and he did just that. He slipped into you so effortlessly; it was like you were made for each other. He hammered into you and you pushed back on him, giving as good as you got. While you held onto the pole for dear life, one of his hands bruised your hip and the other rubbed furiously at your swollen bundle of nerves. All too soon he was cumming, but his fingers didn’t stop until you were clenching around him.

“Rafi,” you were drawing circles on his chest while you laid in a heap on your living room floor. Half eaten take out was on the coffee table while you recovered from round two. Or was it three?

“Yes,” he kissed your temple.

“I don’t want this to be a onetime thing,” you sat up abruptly, “I want all of you.”

“I’m yours. All of me. As long as I get all of you too,” he pulled you back down against him.

“Of course,” you breathed a sigh of relief.

“You gave Fin really bad dances,” Rafael was laughing hysterically.

“I wasn’t trying to fuck Fin,” you poked his side and reached for your phone, “But if you think I should give him a better show…”

“Don’t you dare,” he snatched your phone and threw it onto the sofa, “You’re mine.”

“What was that,” you played innocently.

“You. Are. Mine,” each word was punctuated with a hard bite to your neck, chest, and stomach. He kept the bites and chanting of ‘mine’ up until you relented.

“You’re mine too,” you growled and attacked his neck with bites and sucking.

“No private dances for anyone else,” Rafael was back to his sweet self.

“Of course not,” you stood up and stretched, reaching for a forgotten container of rice.

“I need a shower,” he groaned as he climbed to his feet beside you.

“Shower and cuddles,” you dropped the rice to the table.

“Sounds perfect,” he helped you gather the leftovers and followed you to the shower. You never expected the pole dancing class to bring you the love of your life, but here you were.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfic #law and order special victims unit #law and order special victims unit fanfic #law and order special victims unit imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #law and order svu imagine #svu imagine #svu fanfic #mine #my writing

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acebarba · 5 years

Text

Alleviation

/əˌlēvēˈāSH(ə)n/ (n)

The action or process of making suffering, deficiency, or a problem less severe.

Words: 1080

Sonny opened the door to his apartment tiredly, tears still falling down his face after the entire trip back to Manhattan. It'd honestly been a mistake to go see his parents after church, just as he always did, though he kept trying to tell himself he couldn't have known any better.

The worst thing was it had started out like a perfectly normal Sunday afternoon. Almost every week, Sonny went to the church of a small parish in Staten Island, the same one he'd gone to ever since he was a little kid. After mass, he went to his parents' house to catch up, to talk about what they and his sisters were getting up to. But after some tense string of words or another, he and his father ended up getting into a argument. Sonny hated engaging in fights with his family, especially his parents, and at this point he couldn't even remember what they were arguing about in the first place.

All he could remember was yelling. Icy words he didn't really mean. His mother's attempts at intervening.

And a name he hadn't heard in literal years. A name he wanted to forget. 'Daffodil.'

He could see the dawning look of horror on his mother's face after she'd realized what he said but Sonny wasn't able to take it anymore. Before his father could even open his mouth to say anything else, Sonny wordlessly grabbed his coat and stormed out of the house, trying to blink away tears throughout his hour drive home and full on sobbing about halfway in.

He pushed off his shoes as he made it inside, closing the door with a slam that inadvertently startled himself. He let out a pained groan, not even bothering to turn on the lights as he shuffled his way to his room and flopped down on his bed, laying face down with all his clothes still on. After a few minutes he fished out his phone and opened his messaging app.

☀️: Please come over

Rafi Taffy: omw, what happened?

☀️: My dad happened

Rafi Taffy: be there in 10. love you.

☀️: Love you too ♥️

Sonny weakly smiled at his boyfriend's impromptu willingness, reaching over to put his phone on the side table before resuming his previous position.

He didn't know how much time had passed until Rafael had arrived, hell he didn't even hear him come into the apartment, just the faint sound of footsteps and the soft knock on his open bedroom door.

Sonny made a vague noise to signal to Rafael he knew he was there, the other man going over and sitting on the bed next to him.

"You know, you're going to suffocate if you keep doing that," Rafael mused quietly, stroking Sonny's back. No snark, no bite, his voice was sweet and inviting and everything Sonny needed to hear right then. Sonny rolled over and held his hands out, prompting Rafael to stand and pull him up. His face no longer smothered by bedsheets, he could see Rafael was in his pajamas, an old Harvard sweatshirt and the shorts with little hearts on them that Sonny'd given him as a joke two Christmases ago.

"Did you come all the way here dressed like that?" He snorted as Rafael wiped away some of the remaining tears from his face.

"You should've seen the look on the face of your building's night watch when I came in wearing pajama shorts in 38 degree weather," He smirked, Sonny smiling despite himself.

Rafael proceeded to take Sonny's coat off for him, placing it on the end of the bed before moving on to unbuttoning his shirt. Sonny made no protest, shivering a little as he shrugged it off. After folding the shirt and placing it on top of his coat, Rafael turned to Sonny and gave him a kiss, followed by one on his jaw and another on the side of his neck. Sonny melted into his touch, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes once more when Rafael leaned down and kissed both of his top surgery scars before looking into his eyes with utter adoration. It was a rare sight, even after all the months they'd been dating, and Sonny could feel his face getting warmer. He pulled him closer, burying his face into his sweatshirt and squeezing his eyes shut as Rafael carefully ran his fingers through Sonny's hair. They stayed like that for a while, until Sonny felt he was able to look at his boyfriend without feeling like he'd burst into tears at any given moment. When he pulled away, he stood up, Rafael cupping his face in both hands and standing on his toes so he could kiss Sonny's nose.

"You finish changing, I'll go get more blankets, ok?" Rafael said softly, Sonny nodding. He gave him one last kiss before leaving the room, Sonny opening his dresser and pulling out a change of clothes.

By the time Rafael got back, Sonny was sitting on top of his bed, Netflix already pulled up on the TV while he hugged a pillow. He sniffled a little as Rafael sat next to him, throwing a blanket around the both of their shoulders and placing another in their laps as he switched through the browsing section. Sonny ended up picking some rom com they'd watched several times already, Rafael not making his usual protest when the opening scene started playing and laying his head on Sonny's shoulder.

Eventually, Sonny started to fall asleep, head jerking back up when he'd realized. Rafael wordlessly paused the movie and got up, stretching a bit before tugging gently on Sonny's arm so they could go brush their teeth.

When they'd returned, Sonny climbed info bed and under the layers of blanket, Rafael playing the movie again before following suit. Sonny sighed contentedly, once again, burying his face into Rafael's sweatshirt which, now that he wasn't as distraught, he'd realized smelled like coffee and fabric softener. Meanwhile, Rafael had one hand in Sonny's hair, playing with it absentmindedly while the other hugged him tightly. When Sonny had finally fallen asleep, Rafael's own eyes began to betray him, closing only to flutter open again a few moments later. He sighed, shifting to give Sonny a kiss on the forehead.

"Good night Sonnshine. Sleep well," He mumbled, closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him for the night as the movie continued to play in the background.

#dominick sonny carisi #sonny carisi #rafael barba #barisi #law and order svu #svu #.fic #.txt #trans sonny

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thefreshfinds · 5 years

Text

Summer In Jersey - The Garden State Hip Hop Hour’s Richard Scott

By: Natalee Gilbert

In a land full of snakes, the Garden State is far from one.

Composed of only free spirits who "ride that wave" at all cost, New Jerseyans put on for their hometowns. As a union, they mostly have sleepless nights and quick snooze sessions throughout the day. But alone, they come from different backgrounds that helped them grow.

Even so, there is one thing that all residents can agree on: Summer In Jersey lives up to all of New Jersey's hype.

When you tune into Summer In Jersey, expect songs that highlight New Jersey's undying pride and summer functions. As one part of the compilation references to the club (or klerb as others might say), the others fall in line as beach, flex or nightclub anthems. Besides this, Summer In Jersey carries a three-part skit by The Infinite Nudist. Essentially its all about a friend who is convincing another to go with him to the beach. Then, a girl whos fed up with his distant ways as they go to the shore and it closes off with a late-night "You Up?" call from a friend who tries to convince the other to leave and go to a lituation.

A few notable tracks like "Mexico Bity (Cliquot Mix)", "Dollar Sign Malc", "Sorry Not Sorry", "Maria", "Can I Call You', "Black Pool Party" and "Invited" help tourist get the jist of what it's like to live in a goal-driven yet party oriented state. The 21 piece collective is curated by The Garden State Hip Hop Hour's boss man, Richard Scott who sought to make a timeless summer tape that everyone can enjoy.

Cued into a section of every song, Siri does her part in announcing that it's a "Garden State Hi-Hop Hour Exclusive."

The first song "Valentino" by Chad B is moreso a flex track that seperates itself with self-reflection and words of encouragement. One reason why he's able to shine is because of the daily grind. Still, his success mostly stems from an undeniable skill with rhyme schemes and autotune. Following in unison is a "diamond-in-the-rough" beat that embellishes on the obstacles he's encountered. But Chad B teaches all that there is a silver lining if you just believe and focus on yourself.

"Bad Girls Only” by Melo V is a salute to all those women working 9 to 5s! The beat is influenced by pop, techno even some R&B but the power of the track is held by Melo's strong, melodic vocal play. "Bad Girls Only" really allows women to let loose and enjoy themselves.

Fourth in line, "No Way" by Trophy Hitta Sage keeps up the momentum especially with this one liner, "Wearing yellow in the summer, you're a bright catch." Like Chad B. she uses auto-tune but its a bit more airy and passionate. At most "No Way" is a techno/hip-hop track. Trophy Hitta Sage uses the beat to speak about a girl whos got her going crazy and she just wants to know whats up.

Then theres "Invited" by BUMPPRO, a track thats quite infectious and falls as an anthem to those who don't get invited to the "off-the-wall" parties. Sonically "Invited" dabbles into rock but then carries on with futuristic synthesizers, techno and auto-tune. The song speaks about a party next door that BUMPPRO has heard about but he wasn't invited to. Nevertheless he's with the hype and is going anyway because everyone needs to let loose every now and then. The best line thus far from "Invited" is "Sounds like a sick party bouncing off the wall/ I got a case, I got a bottle. But I look fly, I came to party/f*ck those problems."

In pursuit "Act Up" by Rich Smiles stresses the projects care-free flair. It's hard to fit "Act Up" 's genre into one because of the R&B vocals at hand with a dancehall and caribbean feel. Here, he sings about a women has caught his attention but he's not looking for commitment. To have her for one night is enough and he won't let anything (or anyone) stand in his way. The highlight of "Act Up" is when Rich Smiles does a vocal run on the phrases "back up" in chorus and "act up". He really cranks up the heat with his ability to alter R&B's main focal point on love.

'Intentions" by Ganja Killz and "Zaya" take a similar approach. Driven by latin and caribbean vibes, they both use soothing vocals so listeners can feel at ease. Besides this, their native tongue pays homage to where they’re from. It’s nothing but tropical slashed with a whole lot of sultry energy.

Next, “Mexico Bity (Cliquot City)” by Killa Klerk Cobain travels back to Spanish Harlem. Killa Klerk Cobain gives glory to Jersey Club and uses it to drive the beat selection. But really, its to show listeners that people in New Jersey “really just be vibin’.” This track is solely for those who are looking to have a good time. So the tango might as well go on!

Fast forward and "Jersey Anthem" by GrooveBoyPut ft. Dougie F., Tsu Surf, Sonny Breeze, Crunch Calhoun, Albee Al Daddy pave the way for all New Jersey artists to keep going! Just like them, they've been through the struggle but still conquered. Now they're realistically living their dreams. For those who weren't there for the long haul, just know these emcees hold weight. They're coming with the pounds and don't care what others think regardless!

"For The Low" by $uper Drug$ ft.Threat Digga says it all in the title. Proficient in the ways of trapping and counting blue faces, these two only wreak havoc when someone disturbs their peace. Beat wise, "For The Low" takes the aggressive approach. These two do justice in being blunt, flexing and collecting their coins discreetly.

Now if there comes a time when a jam for night drives is needed, then "All Summer" by Dollar Sign Malc is the perfect fit. Because it gives off a 90's vibe, "All Summer" will be the only thing that shines this season. To summarize, this song fits all occasions like going to the beach or riding around the town with a shawty. Same applies for "Can I Call You?" by Najir. Even though it leans more towards a early 2000's sound, its still something with hype due to the Jersey Club influence. Najir in this song speaks about how hes in need for love and doesn't want to lose his girl.

Funnily enough, "Maria" by Smooch also speaks on a love whos got the artist stuck. Like “Mexico Bity (Cliquot City)” the beat takes a trip to South America and uses some boom bap flair. On a vocal standpoint, he hits more notes than rhymes but he excels when dabbling into the two.

"Te Fallo" by Lilskrt4k feat. Chris Cruz is similar to 'Intentions" and "Zaya". Same tropical sound with a bit of reggaeton but theres more energy and switch between Spanish and English. Seems like this song is speaking about doing anything for love also. The part that gets me is the ad-libs. It really makes one feel like they're on an island.

To say the least, "We Jus" by Bulletproof Belv tells all about summer flings. Although they're great in the moment, it's really short-lived once the leaves turn brown. "We Jus" beat leans into the trap side. But because of the background drums and snares, it distinguishes itself as a summer vibe. Overall "We Jus" is a song to play when it's just too hard to say "this is a DTF situation."

On the other hand, "Sorry Not Sorry" by GrooveBoyPut and Smoove The Rapper goes in the opposite direction. GrooveBoyPut and Smoove The Rapper are really feeling this girl but shes done them dirty so now they've started to care less. Because of the drums in back and xclophone, it categorizes itself as a summer anthem. Still, "Sorry Not Sorry" has some trap influence and can easily be mistaken as another flex or derogatory song. All in all "Sorry Not Sorry" is a song for the heartbroken. It goes hard on self-liberation and leaves no room for tears or empathy.

"See This" by DOMS is worth all the hype. Trap-ridden at its own leisure, DOMS dares anyone to step up because it'll be them against him and his boys. Equally important, DOMS flexes at an all time high. One line that speaks volume is, "Gotta make those sacrifices if you want to beat them."

Like the last track, "To the 6ix" by A-Money$ is a trap song. Aside from highlighting his luxurious trips around the world, "To the 6ix" doesn't forget to talk about the exotic women and drip that he easily obtains.

Next to last, "Can't Be" by Honey gives off a bittersweet feeling. A once mutual love, Honey catches on to her mans sneaky ways. Thus she can’t help but to be hard on herself for not noticing sooner. Following is Honey's emotionally captivating vocals and a beat that pulls heart strings.

Finally, Summer In Jersey closes off with a lucid song called "Black Pool Party (CLICQUOT MIX)" by Clicquot Geno and Jet Lyte. Contrary to the beat, these two go all in with smooth sailing vocals and confidence. Some can even go so far as to say that "Black Pool Party" is making waves. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself. This song basically speaks on how they have no time for the B.S. and how certain individuals are now trying to swim on their stream of fortune. To summarize, the R&B and hip-hop influences run deep.

Go and stream Summer In Jersey now. It's available on DatPiff.

Link(s):

1. Summer in Jersey: https://www.datpiff.com/Various-NJ-Artists-Summer-In-Jersey-mixtape.941839.html

2. Instagram of Richard Scott: @itsrichz

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madpanda75 · 6 years

Text

A Second Chance: Part Two

Co written with @amirightcounsellor!

The angsty/smutty part two!

Part One

Sonny Carisi X Reader NSFW

Word Count: 5420

Snow fell outside, the first real blizzard of the season. It covered everything in sight-streets, cars, the rooftops of surrounding buildings. The city felt quiet, peaceful.

And you felt peaceful.

Head resting on Sonny’s chest, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath you. His fingers traced along your exposed spine like an intricate dance, causing you to shiver and nestle closer. Sonny’s arms tightened around you, pressing a loving kiss to your temple.

“Doll, what do you think about coming home with me for Christmas?” He offered quietly, words hanging in the air.

An uneasy sigh left your chest. You wanted nothing more than to spend Christmas with Sonny. Hot chocolate, watching the snow fall as Christmas carols played in the background. Watching his nieces and nephews open gifts while his siblings took pictures and laughed.

“I’d love to, Sonny. But uh, you know it’s just my mom and me. I don’t want to leave her alone.”

Sonny tensed before relaxing again. “Is that what you really want?”

Laughing, you shook your head. “She’s sick. The drugs, the different boyfriends. I don’t know. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. But...it hasn’t all been bad. You know she’s the reason I went to law school? Work somewhere like SVU. So I can help people, be there for someone when no one was there for me.”

Sonny sat up, essentially bringing you with him. Lifting your chin so that you could look at him, he tucked your hair behind your ear, eyes swimming with concern.

“This isn’t for pity. I’m telling you this because if it wasn’t for her being the way she is, for everything I had to go through, I wouldn’t be where I am now. With you. Maybe it’s all just a giant coincidence or maybe it’s how everything was always supposed to be but I swear, it was all worth it. Because it all led me to you.” You breathed out, feeling a bit vulnerable. You and Sonny had been dating for over a year now and had already exchanged I love yous early into your relationship, but you had always remained a bit guarded. There was still that deep rooted need to shield yourself, to protect yourself from getting hurt.

Right now though, with Sonny’s arms wrapped around you and the snow lightning up the night sky, you never felt more safe.

“I, uh.” You heard yourself stutter, not sure how you were going to put everything you were feeling, everything you were hoping, into words. How did I get from there to here, you wondered.

“Jeez, what time is it?” Sonny asked in a gravelly voice.

“I know it’s like two in the morning and I’m wearing this stupid fancy dress and I’m a little drunk but today was my cousin's wedding and seeing everyone happy and in love was killing me because that could’ve been us if I didn’t mess it all up” You rambled, voice muffled by both trying not to cry and your body racked with shivers. “Your seat was empty the entire time and my shrew of a grandmother asked me how you were and I had to tell her we weren’t together anymore and she blamed me and she’s right, you know” You rambled off.

Sonny’s eyebrows raised in surprise, motioning for you to come in, placing a hand on your lower back as he gently led you into the living room. “Jesus, you’re freezing,” He exclaimed, grabbing a blanket for you to wrap yourself up in.

Placing it over your shoulders, you awkwardly stood in front of where Sonny was sitting on the couch before he motioned for you to join him.

The two of you sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity. You stared down at the floor, afraid you would burst into tears the minute you stared into those blue eyes.

The cold pane of the car window felt refreshing against your warm skin, opening your eyes you stared at the cookie cutter houses lining the streets. Snow blanketed front lawns, still adorned with Christmas decorations in January. Sonny glanced at you from the driver seat, his brow furrowed with concern. “You ok, doll? Seem pretty quiet tonight.” Plastering a smile on your face, you nodded your head, the two of you were on your way to the Carisi house for Sunday dinner. You liked Sonny’s family, the Carisi clan were warm and friendly, at times they were a little overbearing but they always welcomed you into their home.

Tonight you wished Sonny would have cancelled, a week ago your mother had checked into an in patient rehabilitation center, yet another attempt to get sober. Driving her to the facility, your mind was flooded with memories of your past. The tears you would cry when your mom would leave in search of a fix, the chair you would push against your bedroom door when you were afraid of your mom’s latest drug dealing boyfriend. The images haunted you, the anxiety and fear seeping into your body. You thought that part of your life was over, that you had gone through the fire, coming out the other side a stronger person, but maybe you were wrong.

The car came to a sudden halt, having reached its destination. Sonny unbuckled his seatbelt and looked over at you. Ever since your mom left for rehab, you seemed distant, distracted. It worried him, but whenever he brought up the subject, you would just smile and brush him off. Not wanting to push you to talk, he decided the next best thing was to just be there for you during this time, support you as best he could.

You stared at the house, the lights coming from the windows made it look so cheery and inviting. Thoughts began to fill your head, “What was it like to grow up in a home like this? Is this what Sonny wants? Could I give that to him?” Closing your eyes, you braced yourself for the evening, the noise, the people, the not so subtle hints of marriage and children. “Not tonight. I can’t do this tonight.” You thought, reaching for Sonny’s hand as he opened the door. “Sonny,” you said, trying to suppress your panic.

Before he could answer, there was a loud bang on the window, making you jump. Sonny laughed, as his nieces and nephews pummeled the car in snowballs, shouting his name, “Uncle Sonny! Uncle Sonny!” He got out of the car, promptly getting hit with a snowball, “Hey c’mon kids! Not the car!” They ran back into the house to announce your arrival. He dusted the snow off his coat, laughing as he walked around to your side of the car.

Opening the passenger door for you, he took your hand, intertwining your fingers. “What were you sayin’ earlier doll?” He looked so happy, grinning from ear to ear as you both walked up to the house, you pushed down the uneasy feeling settling in your stomach. “It’s nothing, never mind.” You said, plastering a smile on your face once again.

“So, Y/N, when are ya gonna make an honest man out of my little brother.” Sonny’s sister casually asked at the dinner table, making you drop your fork with a clang. You had barely sat down to eat and the questions on marriage and family were already starting.

“Teresa, seriously. C’mon!” Sonny replied.

“What? What’d I say? Ya know everyone has been thinking it. Ma’ is dyin’ over here waitin’ for her baby boy to settle down.”

Bella Carisi threw a piece of bread at her sister from across the table, “Teresa mind your own damn business. They’ll get married when they get married.” Sonny placed his hand under the table, giving your knee a tight squeeze. He could feel your body tense up next to him as the two sisters bickered over your nuptials.

Mrs. Carisi took a sip of wine before reprimanding her daughters. “Girls! Manners please! It’s Sunday, can’t we just have a nice family meal?” Once everyone had settled down, she turned her attention to you. “You know, Y/N. I was cleaning out the attic this weekend and guess what I found? Nonna Carisi’s old wedding dress. It’s beautiful, you should see it. I would be happy to save it for you….if you and Sonny ever decide to…....”

You wanted to run out of that house screaming, the pressure of getting married, having kids, settling down was bearing down on you like a vice. You clenched your fist, your nails digging into the flesh of your palm as you listened to the woman. “Ya know, Sonny was Nonna Carisi’s favorite.” She winked at Sonny, making him blush. “It would mean so much if you wore that dress. Maybe later tonight we can go try it on, just for fun.”

Sonny interjected, throwing his hands up in the air with exasperation, even he was getting a little annoyed with them. “Ma, please. Let’s just eat and enjoy the evening.”

“See….what I’d tell ya?” Teresa said motioning over to her mother. The rest of the dinner continued as such, family members talking about children, PTAs, marriages, and mortgages. You sat there trying to join the conversation but your head was somewhere else.

After dinner, you excused yourself to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face before meandering your way into the living room. Walking up to the fireplace, you looked at all the pictures gracing the mantle. Photos of vacations, graduations, new babies, marriages, these beautiful moments frozen in time. It was almost as if they were taunting you.

What were you doing here? You didn’t belong here with this perfect little family. Suddenly, the room felt too hot, you took big gulps of air trying to keep the bile from rising up in your throat before walking out the front door. Standing on the front lawn, the white snow crunching under your feet, you stopped and closed your eyes, letting the cold air wash over you.

“Doll? What are you doin’?” Sonny walked over to you. “It’s freezing out here.” He rubbed your arms, trying to bring some warmth back into your body.

“I’m ok….just needed some air.” He nodded his head before motioning to the door, “You coming back in?”

“Yeah…..just give me a minute. Please?” He looked at you for a second, his face etched with worry before leaning forward and giving you a quick kiss. “Don’t stay out here too long.” He said before stepping back inside.

The cold numbed your body, you embraced it, focusing on the sharp stinging sensation, rather than the pain you felt in your heart. You stood there, listening to the sound of laughter coming from inside the house, feeling like an outsider, a fraud. The walls that Sonny had broken down were beginning to rebuild themselves. This is where you belong, not inside, not with Sonny. You belong out here, alone where you can’t mess anything up, where you can’t get hurt. With a heavy heart you walked back into the house, you now knew what you had to do next.

The drive back was silent, no noise except for the hum of the engine. Sonny turned his head a few times, mouth opening as if he was about to speak, but the look on your face stopped him. You stared straight ahead, watching the tail lights of other cars while you mulled over what you would tell Sonny.

You both entered the apartment, peeling off your jackets and snow crusted boots. Sonny followed you into the living room, the calm before the inevitable storm lingered in the air. “Ok, doll. You gotta say somethin’, I’m going crazy over here. What’s goin’ on?”

You stared at the floor, not knowing where to even begin. “Is that what you want?” You mumbled.

Sonny walked towards you, cocking his head to the side in confusion. “You’re gonna have to be more specific here.”

“The house! The wife! The 2.5 kids with the collie!” You shouted, feeling exasperated. Sonny smirked, trying to make light of the conversation. He knew his family had put the pressure on you both about your future together. “Well personally I never got where that “.5” came from and we don’t have to get a collie. We can adopt from a shelter or whatever.”

You shook your head, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. “Please don’t joke right now. I’m serious, do you want to get married and settle down?”

Sonny sighed, moving to sit on the couch, running a hand through his wind messed hair. Of course he wanted to get married and have children, he wanted that with you, but there was always an underlying fear to admit it. “Well….yeah I do…..and…. I want that with you. Don’t you?”

You joined him on the couch, staring into his eyes filled with such hope about your future together. “I don’t know…...I don’t know if that’s something I can give you right now.”

For a split second, a look of disappointment flashed across his face before he masked it with a nervous smile. “Well hey, that’s ok. We’ve got time.”

“What if I can’t ever give that to you.” You whispered. Sonny furrowed his eyebrows, watching you with concern. “What do you mean?”

“I mean….maybe I’m not the right person for you.”

He gently reached for your hand, afraid that you would crumble under his touch. “Come on don’t say that. I love you, we have a good thing goin’ on.” You pulled away, afraid if he touched you further, you wouldn’t have the strength to continue.

“It’s been great but let’s face it, sooner or later you’re going to want something more and I just can’t do that.” The tears you tried so hard to hold back began streaming down your cheeks, you truly meant what you said. You both were from two different worlds, you didn't believe you were capable of giving Sonny what he wanted. “I mean what are we doing together? You have this perfect wonderful family and this fairytale image of what life is like and I don’t. That’s not where I come from, that’s not who I am.”

He shook his head vehemently, beginning to get upset at your words. As if you were assuming what he wanted and expected of this relationship. “You know I don’t expect a fairytale life. I just want you.” Your heart crumbled hearing the pleading tone in his voice.

“We’re just too different Sonny. It’s not you it’s-,” Sonny interrupted you, angry and frustrated. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare use some bullshit cliche like that on me!”

“Well it’s true isn’t it?!” You lept off the couch, turning to face him. “We can keep up this facade for a while but those differences are going to become more apparent and pull us apart.” Sonny stood, reaching out for you, his hands cupping your face. You tried to struggle, to break free, but you just couldn’t. Your heart wouldn’t let you. “That’s not true. We love each other, isn’t that enough?” Sonny wiped the tears from your face, feeling his own eyes begin to water up. “We love each other, Y/N.” He kept repeating the phrase, desperately trying to convince you. “We love each other…...right?” He whispered, the pain audible in his voice.

Standing there in silence, you wanted to scream, “Yes, I love you!” Instead, you did the hardest thing you ever had to do, you kept telling yourself it was the right thing to do, Sonny deserved better. You stepped away from his hold, “It’s not enough. I just can’t do this anymore. Let’s be happy with what we had and just end this now before it’s too late.”

You walked to the door, silently crying as you put your jacket and boots back on. Sonny ran after you, practically pulling you towards him. He clutched your shoulders, making you stare into his blue eyes now filled with tears. “You don’t mean that. Come on, this is just a fight and we’ll get over it and it’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think so, Sonny. Not this time.” You tugged yourself free and opened the door before hearing him call your name, one last desperate attempt to get you back. “Y/N…...please….don’t.” Your whole body shook as you choked back a sob. You turned around one last time, unable to help yourself, “I’m sorry. Goodbye.” You left him standing in the foyer, quietly closing the door behind you.

“I miss you, Sonny.”

Sonny nodded his head. He had missed you so much this last month-your smile, your laugh, the smell of your shampoo, even. The apartment wasn’t the same without you, it wasn’t home without you. “I miss you too.”

You finally looked up at him, those four words giving you a glimmer of hope. “Please tell me it’s not too late, that I can still fix this.”

He frowned at your words. Sonny had always worn his heart on his sleeve, he was an open book. The love he felt for you was different than anything he had ever experienced before. When you left, you took a part of him with you, leaving him feeling vulnerable and exposed.

“You left before, Y/N. How do I know you won’t do it again? I don’t-“ he paused, bending forwards to rest in his head in his hands, tugging at the ends of his hair and sighing. “I don’t think I could take it if you left me again, doll.” He admitted, voice cracking at the end.

Furiously shaking your head, you tentatively reached out for his hand and a wave of relief crashed over you when he didn’t pull away. “I won’t. I-“ pausing, you tried to find the right words to say. “I thought maybe if I left, you’d find someone who could make you happier. Someone who could give you everything you deserve-a marriage, kids.”

Your whole body was shaking as adrenaline coursed through your veins trying to save whatever was left of the relationship you had damaged. “I’m so scared of you realizing that I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. All I know is that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you. I should have had more faith. In us. In what we have.”

“I always believed in us. I always believed in you. I just wish you could have too.” He sadly said. You took a moment and looked at the man who had stolen your heart completely. He looked tired, worn, the bags under his once bright blue eyes showed he hadn’t been sleeping well. It just about broke you to know that you were the one who caused that pain.

Taking your free hand, you gently cupped his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “I never really had a home growing up, and then I met you and everything changed. It seemed too good to be true. But you are my home, Sonny. I don’t want to let that go. I can’t let you go.”

You felt the tears begin to pool in your eyes, desperation clawing at your insides. “I’ll leave, if you want me to. But I’m begging you, please don’t let me go,” you whispered.

He leaned his head into your touch, kissing your palm. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll always be here for you.” Moving closer, he took your face in his hands, kissing your tear streaked cheeks before softly kissing you on the lips.

“Besides, this isn’t all on you. I should’ve realized you were struggling. I never meant to rush you into anythin’, I hope you know that. The last thing I want is for you to feel like we’re not in this together. I would love nothing more than to marry you, to start a family together. But If you’re not ready, if you’re never ready, it’s not a sacrifice. Just bein’ with you is more than enough for me.”

You felt lighter than you had in months, the laugh escaping your body one of both relief and disbelief.

“I can’t believe you’re the one apologizing here.” You shook your head, turning towards Sonny to run a finger across his lips. You missed the way they felt, they way he tasted.

Quietly, you inched forward, allowing yourself to press your own lips to his, Sonny sinking into the kiss almost instantly.

“I love you, Sonny,” you whispered.

“I love you too, doll.” Turning his head to deepen the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck. You were like a moth to flame, unable to tear yourself away from him for even a moment.

The room felt electrified as Sonny’s tongue sought entrance into your mouth, making you moan softly at his eagerness. His hands moved to your waist, gently pulling you into his lap to which you lifted your dress and straddled him, continuing the kiss, not wanting to come up for air. His hands rested on your thighs, gently squeezing them as you began to grind against him. You could feel your lace panties growing wet as Sonny’s thick, hard length pressed against your center, leaving Sonny groaning as he began to lick and kiss a trail down your neck, tongue tracing your clavicle.

Sonny’s hands roamed your form, slowly reaching behind you to unzip your dress. “Is this ok, doll?”

Nodding your head, you stood up to let your dress pool around your feet. Sonny got off the couch, staring at you with such an intensity that you couldn’t help but blush under his gaze. You could feel his hot breath on your skin, his fingertips ghosting over your body sending a jolt straight to your core, your chest rising and falling rapidly with each uneven breath you took.

“Take me to bed.” You whispered. Sonny reached around your body to cup your ass as you wrapped your legs around his waist, kissing him hard and whimpering when he pulled your lower lip between his teeth, carrying you to the bedroom with fervor.

The two of you barely made it past the doorway before Sonny had you pressed against the wall, fumbling to lower your bra straps quick enough. “I’ve missed you so much,” He panted, pressing small kisses to the now exposed skin. You squirmed under his touch, desperate to have him inside you but willing yourself to take your time, to savor every moment.

“Think I know a way I can show you.” You exhaled, begging Sonny to let you down so that you could sink onto your knees.

He didn’t take much convincing.

Staring up at the man in front of you, you felt your mouth start to water in anticipation. He looked so good like this, eyes dark and focused, the muscles twitching in his arm as he held your hair back.

Kissing his length that was straining against his sweats, you watched Sonny’s head fall back as he let out the neediest moan. Knowing that you had such an effect on him left you feeling hot all over, wanted in the best way.

Freeing Sonny from the confines of his clothes, you took him into your mouth, tasting the flood of saltiness from his precum.

“Oh fuck.” He cursed as you lowered your head further, your hand stroking him in tune with your motions. “Feels so good.” Smiling at his words, you sped up, hands falling to rub his thighs as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, giving him control. Sonny groaned, stroking your check with his thumb as he thrusted into your mouth. You knew he was getting close by the way his legs were shaking, breaths coming in short and uneven.

With one last thrust, Sonny withdrew himself and guided you back onto your feet and towards the bed where he laid you down, his own body surrounding you with warmth as he held you close. You could feel his hardened length pressing along your thigh as he kissed down your neck, the sensation driving you wild with need.

“Sonny, please.” You whimpered, desperate with need while he continued his descent down your body. He chuckled against your skin, “It’s my turn now doll.”

Taking his tongue, he flicked it against your nipple before pulling the hardened bud into his mouth, tugging lightly with his teeth while he pinched the other. You gasped, arching into his touch while you threaded your hands through his hair. Releasing with a pop, he moved to the other breast to repeat his actions.

He licked a trail down to your hips, the wet marks provided a cooling sensation against your warm skin. Gently biting down on one hip, he kissed his way across to your other hip, his fingers running up and down your slit through the lace of your panties. Sonny pulled them off, looking down at your glistening core, groaning before settling himself between your thighs.

His tongue ran up your center before he took your clit in his mouth, massaging it with his tongue, moaning as he continued to lick you with enthusiasm.

He pulled away, biting down on your inner thigh, “Fuck, I missed this so much.” Sonny dove back in, eating you as if it was his last meal. The noises you made combined with the taste of your essence was intoxicating. His head nodded between your thighs, the sound of your wetness smacking against his lips along with your moans and whimpers filled the room. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you took in large gulps of air, you felt as if your whole body was on fire.

“Oh God, Sonny…..so good.” You sat up watching him devour you, his blue eyes boring into your eyes, hooded with lust as he nibbled on your nub.

Moving two of his fingers beneath his chin, he slowly plunged them into your sheath, thrusting into your core. You fell back on the bed, your eyes rolling back in your head as he crooked his fingers to find your sweet spot. Grabbing him by the hair, you grinded down against him, it had been so long since you felt his touch, your heart felt like it would implode in your chest. You clung to the headboard with one hand, needing to steady yourself as you felt your orgasm quickly approaching, “Fuck, I’m so close.”

His tongue swirled around you faster while his fingers stroked the inside your walls. Sonny hummed as he sucked hard on your clit, the vibrations sending you over the edge. Your thighs clenched around his head as you arched your back, practically screaming his name. Draping his forearm across your hips, he held you down, his fingertips digging hard into your skin while you bucked up against his face. Releasing you from his mouth, he licked the evidence of your arousal off your thighs and lower lips, before giving your feminine core one final kiss.

Crawling back up to meet you, you took Sonny’s face into your hands, kissing him deeply and sighing at the taste of yourself on his tongue. “Need to feel you, please.”

Smiling softly, Sonny took one hand to guide himself inside you, the other resting beside your head for support. Every moment Sonny took filling you up felt like the sweetest torture, the raw need and relief evident in both of your voices as soon as he buried himself to the hilt.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Sonny groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and facing the ceiling. You ran your hands down his chest, feeling his muscles tense and relax underneath pale, smooth skin.

Sonny opened his eyes, blue eyes clouded with lust but staring at you so sweetly, he lowered himself back on top of you, cradling your head in his hands as he continued his movements. His pace so dangerously slow, he watched in amusement as you wrapped your legs around him, desperately reaching out for him as if to say I need more.

“Tell me what you want.” He teased, one hand reaching down to circle your clit as he fucked you, causing you to lose all train of thought. Instead of words, the only sounds leaving your mouth were a string of curses and oh Gods, followed by you screaming out Sonny’s name the second he sped up his pace.

You didn’t think you could take it much longer. You needed him, wanted him in every way possible.

Lifting your hips off the bed, you met Sonny thrust for thrust, pushing against his chest with your hands. Sonny knew what you wanted without you having to say it, and soon he was flipping the two of you over, you sitting in Sonny’s lap as he rested against the headboard.

You waited until Sonny tried to catch his breath to lift yourself off of him, grinning in satisfaction when he groaned, fingers digging into your hips so hard they were turning white as you sank back down.

“So wet, baby.” He tried to say between shaky breaks, “this all for me?” Nodding, you let your head fall back, hands firmly planted on Sonny’s sweat slicked chest, realizing you were soaking Sonny’s thighs and the bedsheets with your arousal.

“No, wanna see you.” He commanded, and you whimpered at the hoarse, rough edge in his voice. “Wanna see your face when you cum.”

“Cum with me?” You panted, leaning forward to wrap your arms around Sonny’s neck as you continued to ride him, harder and faster with desperation.

Sonny laughed, cut off by a strangled cry as you squeezed around him. “Christ, what are you doin’ to me? I’m not gonna last, love.” Hands flying everywhere, Sonny used one to grip onto the soft flesh of your bottom as he fucked up into you, the other fondling your breast as he pulled you closer, sucking your hardened nipple into his mouth and teasing the bud with his tongue.

Soon, the stimulation became too much, and you were whimpering into Sonny’s shoulder, body shaking as you felt your release quickly approaching. Biting down on his shoulder, you felt your walls begin to flutter against his cock while his thrusts became more erratic. Sonny pulled you off his shoulder, placing his hand on your neck, forcing you to meet his eyes. He stared at you, pupils blown, his brow furrowed, mouth open and breaths coming in short pants, sweat beading on his forehead.

Your nails dug into his skin, leaving half moon indentations. “Sonny, I’m,” you gasped, that familiar coil in the pit of your stomach tightening, ready to explode. He took his thumb and brushed it lightly against your lips, “Let go for me baby girl. Let me hear you.”

His words sent you over the edge, crying out before kissing Sonny hard, your release overtaking you. He quickly followed, moaning against your lips, pulsating inside you as he spilled his seed. You both clung to each other as waves of pleasure consumed your bodies, he continued to move against you, prolonging your orgasms before slowing his thrusts. Tucking your face into the crook of his neck, you softly moaned, peppering him with light kisses while you came back down to earth.

Sonny kissed your shoulder before resting his head against it, trying to catch his breath. “Fuck….that was amazing.” You nodded, still tucked away against his skin, the exhaustion of the day combined with the intensity of your orgasm began to overwhelm you. Tears fell down your cheeks, dropping onto Sonny’s neck. He pulled away when he heard you sniffle, cupping your face in his hands, “What’s wrong? Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s not that….. I’m just so happy. I love you so much.” He smiled, resting his forehead against yours, “I love you too...so much.” Sonny kissed away your tears before laying back in the bed, bringing you down with him. He rested his cheek against the top of your head, the smell of your shampoo still lingering, he inhaled deeply, the scent bringing him comfort before closing his eyes. Laying your head against Sonny’s chest, you could hear his heart beating, the rhythmic sound lulling you into a peaceful sleep.

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