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#Back Yard Recordings
trevlad-sounds · 1 month
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Penguin Prison Animal Animal Sebastien Tellier Benny Jean Tonique Dynomite Chromeo Don’t Walk Away Pacific! Hot lips Chromeo Needy Girl (Zdar dub mix) Pacific! Break Your Social System Laid Back Cocaine Cool - Lulu Rouge Edit The Books Beautiful People Mika We Are Golden Siriusmo Gummiband Breakbot Baby I'm Yours (feat. Irfane) The Samps Peppergood MillionYoung Hammock Sebastien Tellier Kilometer
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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months
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so because nick was able to almost raise lucifer from the empty, we really have to assume that anyone could do it. like all he had was some determination and a hammer, and he could have pulled it off. so. what im saying is that this leads us to assume that in-universe, dean just didnt feel like it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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theatomicpsychotic · 3 months
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Gotta say, not a fan of people flying their drones in the damn suburbs
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forbodium · 4 months
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had a nightmare where my dad and i were stalked by the ghost of a serial killer called "bonny john" aubrey
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raviniaraven · 6 months
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Just found this on a free table at my old apartment. I cannot explain how psyched I am to play a 20 year old children's computer edutainment game, this yeeted me fully back into grade school
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moongothic · 1 year
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MCM Shelf Saga
Part 1 - Introduction, Commencing Stripping Hell
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Spring has come, which can only mean one thing. It's time for another furniture refinishing project.
So you might remember this chair I've refinished before, and you might remember how I mentioned in the backstory of that post that my late mother had painted three pieces of furniture (a chair, a desk and a shelf) in matching colors, the three having been left to collect dust in one of our attic closets for the past few decades.
Indeed, this is one of the three furniture pieces, and just like with the chair, I ain't keeping it if it looks like that. It's either getting refinished or yeeted, and since I don't want to waste perfectly good furniture, it's the former. And since the weather now allows it, it's time for me to get started on working on this beast of a project.
Now there's actually two things I had to do before I could begin this project. Step one was disassemble the entire unit because, TL:DR; we could not move it out of the tiny ass closet without either moving a fuck ton of furniture and storaged items out of the way and maybe break something while hauling this outside, OR just disassemble it 'cause it needed to get dissambled anyways.
So, with dad's help we did just that (with relative success, we did have to break some of the original screws because they had dug into the wood and made disassembly impossible otherwise, but it's fine that hardware can be replaced) and brought it to the patio where I can work on it.
The other thing I had to do was actually quickly check if the shelf was safe for me to work on. If you want more info you can read the chair post but long story short, I was worried there could be toxic car paint under this paint layer and if there was, I was going to refuse to refinish this piece. But all I did was gently sand some paint off a shelf to see what was underneath and it was wood so! Safe it is!
So this is probably somekinda MCM shelf, the style looks like it and the color of the wood could suggest it. The main unit of it is made of just veneered chipboard but hey, it's vintage chipboard, and there's nothing wrong with it, so it's still worth giving a second (a third?) life to
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Didn't take a photo of it with the drawers and the sliding door still inside but I doubt that matters. Parts of the inside of the unit did get painted over which is. Not great for me, but it is what it is
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Intrestingly, the sides of the shelf (that make both the feet of the unit as well as where the shelves hook onto) seem to have been black originally, as the inside facing parts never got painted over. Meanwhile the main unit has some veneer damage right where the sides were... Like it's not great but since that part does get completely covered it's not a huge deal
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And the shelves of the shelf. As you can see, I did a quick test on them to see what was under the paint and it looked safe to work on
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So I actually kinda started by testing my paint removal methods on one of the shelves. When I did the above check up, I noticed the paint was quite hard to just sand through, so just sanding it didn't seem like a great option. I did also soon discover the paint was quite hard to scrape.
Now, I did't want to use paint stripper since it causes me that severe nausea, so I decided to try out a hot air gun to remove it. And it did work! However
First off I just wasn't excited about using electricity 'cause. Energy crisis. Y'know. Shit's expensive.
While it worked it wasn't super effective? It might've been just poor technique on my part but I felt like I had to stand there blowing hot air onto the paint for a long time for it to start reacting before quickly sweeping in to scrape a tiny section clean before starting again on another tiny tiny section
And the main thing... Under the paint there seemed to be an old finish of some kind. Probably a poly coat, IDK. But I was getting worried of how it was reacting to the heat. Like. IDK I was worried it might melt and damage the wood or something
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So. I had to go crawling back to the paint stripper. Because in the end, it felt like the safest option for me to use (nausea aside). From the chair project I knew it would be able to remove the paint easily and knowing this whole thing has a lot of thin veneer all over it, it'd probably be the best way for me to ensure I didn't damage the veneer too much.
Goop time it is
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I did one coat of paint stripper and let it sit over night (plastic wrapped so it wouldn't dry out)
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Here's what the sides were looking like after one round of paint stripper. It really wasn't going to be enough so what I ended up doing was that I applied another coat of paint to the top and let it do it's thing for like an hour (while I was walking my cat), before coming back. I then did another round of stripper on both sides while I finished removing the paint residue from the top
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So here's what two rounds of paint stripper did to the top, as well as one round to the inside bits. It seems like the paint may have permanently strained parts of the inside where the wood was raw as it did not want to come off at all, though fortunately the worst parts are the parts that'll end up getting covered by the drawers so it could be worse
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Now the paint stripper did not make the old finish come off the main unit really. It did soften it, but that didn't make it easier to remove, it made it just kinda goopy and unpleasant to remove but, since I had no other choise, I kept on going at it and scraped it away along with the remaining paint residue
After I finished working on the top I went back to remove the rest of the paint from the sides and the old finish. Eventually getting to this point
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The veneer is not in great shape, there seems to be some possible water damage marks on the wood (possibly from the stripper??) OR there might be just more of the old finish there that I haven't managed to remove yet
The veneer is super thin. I could keep on scraping and sanding it, but I'm just really afraid I might go through the veneer and do some really bad damage, so... I kinda wan tto try using oxalic acid first. If there's water stains, the acid should be able to remove the stains, meaning there's less sanding for me to do in general and less of a chance of me sanding through that veneer.
But I don't have oxalic acid at the moment, and I kinda wanna finish stripping the paint off from the entire unit first, so this first part is coming to an unsatisfying end.
The main unit has been put to the side while I finish stripping the rest of the unit, starting with the drawer fronts!
((Sidenote: I am planning on staining the wood dark/black so the stains aren't super worrysome for me, the dark stain would end up hiding most of them I'm sure))
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Finale)
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transxfiles · 1 year
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lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"
meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction
(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)
we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off
he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"
doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"
[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]
"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool
candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"
ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"
candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"
we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."
the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"
it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.
the court case continues.
meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.
back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.
meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.
isabella gets her fireside girls badge.
candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.
mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.
back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.
roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"
this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.
doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.
perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"
the end.
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woewriting · 5 months
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SINBOUND (G!P) tara carpenter x reader
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tags. mdni, +18 only! no ghostface au, reader has a dick but no pronous were used, cheating, adultery, voyeurism, semi public sex, shower sex, breeding, exhibitionism and if you squint really hard, there's a bit of size kink... tara's a sinner and so are you. word count. 5358 a/n. i cant believe i finally finished this one, a huge thanks to @alkivm and @wesstars for helping me out, this one is for you two. | masterlist.
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You never really thought of Tara as more than just a good friend, you really didn’t, but the moment you witnessed her being ruined by her boyfriend’s dick, mascara running down her cheeks, lipstick smudged all around her plump lips, and the way she smiled at you with half open lids, your mind became clouded with Tara.
Her moans, so soft and whiny.
Her hands grabbing her boyfriend’s arms, short nails digging into the muscle and tracing red marks on the tanned skin.
Her smile, so different from the ones she always greets you with when you meet for breakfast before classes. This one was small, almost like a smirk that turned into perfectly ‘o’ shaped when he bit her neck, covering her petite body with his big one.
You couldn't move, petrified with the scene rolling in front of your eyes. You watched as her nails scratched the skin of his back, pulling him impossibly closer, holding him in place so he wouldn’t see you standing there, blatantly watching them fuck. The sounds she was making wouldn’t leave your mind, the image of Tara being fucked raw while staring at you engraved in every single muscle memory of your brain.
And it did.
You stood there for what it felt like hours, watching with focused eyes the heart-giving performance Tara was putting on for you until she came, teeth sinking in the others’ shoulder to suffocate the scream that would tear her throat in pieces.
That’s when you left, your face burning red and an uncomfortable ache between your legs that you wished would disappear, twitching inside your boxers and begging for release.
With a quick wave of your hand towards your friend’s group, you left the frat house, jumping over drunken bodies sprawled in the front yard and walking back to your dorm only a few blocks away. You could still hear the loud electronic music and you smelled like alcohol mixed with different perfumes from every person that hugged you during the night.
Kicking your shoes before stepping inside — following your roommate’s number one rule, you leaned against the closed door, the image of Tara burned into your brain like a tattoo, the soft sounds she was making playing in your head like a broken record that was slowly driving you crazy, a tight knot in your stomach that made your heart beat faster.
Your hand automatically covering the volume in your pants, squeezing your length as you tried to easy down. Deep down, you wanted to open up your pants and pull your cock out, watching the way it twitched with the vivid image of Tara on her knees, sucking you off; or with her legs wrapped around your waist as you fucked her against the door frame, fast and rude, like Chad was doing it. But you couldn’t, you felt dirty already for not turning around and drinking every single solo cup, with a colorful, sparkly drink and dubious alcohol, offered to you by Mindy or Amber to erase what you had witnessed, but no, you froze in place.
With one last hard squeeze, you took a deep breath, deciding to take a cold shower to force yourself to calm down, even if the knot in your stomach was painful, like a little red devil on your shoulder, whispering lustful things into your ear like it’s the most beautiful melody that was hard to ignore. For a split of seconds, you almost listened to him, unbuttoning your pants and pulling the zipper down, removing enough pressure of you, but your phone ranged in your back pocket.
Shaking your head, you took the hardest path, the one that led you to the bathroom. Picking up your phone, Sam’s name blinking on the screen with a picture of you and her together, you gulped, declining the call and deciding to text her instead with the excuse of a migraine that was making you dizzy.
As the water hit your head and your shoulder, your muscles tensed up and you stop breathing, every single body hair standing on end with goosebumps, your member still hard against your belly. You sighed, closing your eyes to focus on the cold water that ran over your body so you could sleep and forget whatever the hell this day was.
It didn’t work, your eye bags the next morning was reason enough for your roommate to ask what happened that kept you up all night.
To be honest, you didn’t want to be here, sitting in your usual table waiting for them to show up, ignoring a completely enthusiastic Amber. You wanted to be under your blankets, with doors locked, phone on airplane mode and away and safe from the girl that took over your thoughts over the weekend. It’s been two days since the little “incident” at the party, you ignored every single message in the group chat claiming you “needed to study for finals”, which wasn’t a full lie but you really did not need to spend your entire weekend locked in your dorm.
“Yo, dumbass,” you blinked when a blurry hand stepped in your vision, followed by Amber’s furred eyebrows. “you’ve been weird since Friday, what’s wrong with you?”
Before you could answer, the little bell above the door rang, your eyes automatically linking with the brown ones you saw roll to the back of her head when she came all over her boyfriend. Tara was under Chad’s arm, smiling at something the taller boy said as they walked into the small cafe, coming in your direction.
You wanted to flee, leaving all your belongings back and rush to classes, but the table in front of you and the two girls, Amber and Sam, sitting on each side of you, made that wish a little bit impossible to come true, and if you tried, it would draw too much attention to yourself and that was the least thing you wanted at the moment.
You’d have to endure the torture you had set inside your own brain.
Tara was a really good actress, you thought to yourself, as the minutes went by, she, somehow, manage to keep the same image as always, the perfect girlfriend/sister/friend that is constantly smiling and pays attention to everyone and everything that surrounded her.
While you, on the other side, kept your eyes focused on the drawing that swam in your coffee mug until it slowly melted away, not paying much attention to the conversation. You made a disgusted face when you realized it turned cold under your fingertips.
“Want me to get you a new one?”
“Uh?”
Tara smiled, oh so sweet as always, placing her hand on top of yours, her thumb caressing the skin, ready to take your mug and order a new one for you. “I asked if you want me to order you a new coffee? I know you don’t like cold coffee in the morning.”
“No, uh…” You avoided her soft eyes, removing your hand and starting to pack your things to leave. “Actually, I have to go to, it’s uh… I have to take some notes before class. Can you move a little, Amber? Thank you.”
Without looking at them and feeling your heartbeat on your throat, stumbling a few times on a confused Freeman as you passed in front of her, you left your group of friends behind, ignoring the way Sam was saying your name as you walked out of the small cafe.
Once your feet hit the soft grass in front of the university, you exhaled the air that was stuck inside your lungs all the way here. Leaning forward, you took a deep breath, feeling the burning spread through your veins like poison.
“Are you okay?” A familiar voice came behind you. Sam’s hand on the lower of your back.
“Yeah, I am,” You turned to her. “I just have too much on my head right now.”
The older Carpenter analyzed you, her dark eyes roaming around your features like she always did, looking for any sign of lie.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
You shook your head, clenching your hands around the strap of the bag over your shoulder. “I’ll feel better after the finals, don’t worry, Sammy.”
The nickname earned you a soft smile, followed by a protective arm wrapped around your shoulders, leading you to the main building where your first class took place. Sam made sure to walk with you until you were both standing in front of the opened door, the classroom still empty when you two arrived.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?”
You nodded; eyes focused on her hands holding yours. You wanted to tell everything you saw at the party, but how would you say you saw her little sister, and your best friend, getting fucked and were starting to question how you felt about your friendship with Tara? That you feel an ache in between your legs every time you share the same space with her? It would be like throwing a bucket of cold water on her, and then the bucket itself… instead, you just smiled.
After Sam gave you a forehead kiss, she left you, walking to the other side of the campus for classes; you watched her from afar through the big window next to where you usual sat since first day, a high chair, not too far from the teacher but away enough from the troublemakers that enjoyed chatting during lessons, disturbing those who were interested in actually learning.
Through the same big window, your eyes recognized a pair that was getting near the building’s entrance. You gulped, secretly watching them kiss, your cheeks gaining a pinkish tone and a burning feeling in the pit of your stomach. The way Chad had his hands possessively on her thin waist, pulling her impossibly closer and keeping her in place, while Tara had her arms wrapped around his head, tiptoeing to reach his lips.
It was a daily thing that always got your attention even though you never really cared about the affection between them, but this time, you felt dirty, your pupils dilating to absorb every single trace of light, almost as if you were taking a picture of it, the way the wind was subtly blowing her skirt up. You pressed your legs together, the small pain seeming enough to calm down your throbbing cock. Maybe it was a terrible idea to wear sweatpants as it was easy to see the volume you were desperately trying to hide since you saw Tara entering the coffee shop in such short skirt.
When they broke the kiss, the small girl waved her boyfriend goodbye, turning on her heels to enter the same building you were.
At least we don’t have classes together today… — you thought to yourself once again, sighing in relief as you slid down on your chair and plugged your earphones in, waiting for the teacher to come in.
The classes were full of revisions for the finals, your knuckles hurting from taking notes as fast as the teacher was talking, writing down what you considered important — right now, everything. It had a good side though; Tara had left your thoughts for you to focus on what really mattered at the moment.
After an entire morning of non-stop writing, you were ready to pack everything and clear your mind at the gym near the campus, working off all the bothered you felt the past 3 days.
The space was empty, considering that it was an hour that usually was packed with students, the finals probably taking all the time. Like them, you should also be studying, but you figured it was time to let something else burn your muscles other than notes badly written on your notebook. Walking past a few faces you were familiar with, you greeted them with a smile and a small head motion, the wireless earphone blasting some random Taylor Swift song inside your head.
Just like the training area, the lock room was empty, a girl passed by you when you entered and left you alone in silence, the energetic music that played on the gym’s speakers taking over once you removed your earphones, holding them for a few seconds until you heard a robotic voice saying “power off”. Placing them inside the pocket of your backpack, you tossed the object on the top shelf of your paid lock, removing the warm jacket that hugged your body and folded it, placing it inside. Kicking your shoes off, you managed to remove your socks without falling before storing it too, the cement cold under your bare feet.
“Are you going to ignore me until when? Do I gotta put on another show for you so you can pay attention to me?” A small Tara appeared behind you, resting her chin on your right shoulder, feeling your chest rise and fall with the deep breath you took. You closed the metal door slowly.
“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend to give you attention?”
She rolled her eyes, sneaky hands climbing on your back and coming back down to rest on your waist, sending shivers down your spine. The tip of her fingers playing with the hem of your pants. “Because I want your pretty eyes on me, not his.”
Feeling a burn escalating from your chest all the way up to your neck, you turned on your heels, now facing a doe-eyed Tara.
How could you still see her so adorably after what you witnessed?
“What do you want, Tara?” You asked with a sighed, crossing your arms in an attempt to keep her away from you — even if it was millimeters.
“I want you.”
“Be for real.”
“I am.”
You analyzed her expressions. Dark brown eyes not leaving yours for even a second, those adorable freckles spread across her small nose bridge and cheeks, lower lip trapped between her teeth. She wasn’t lying, Tara couldn’t keep eye contact when she was lying.
Taking a step back and leaning against the locker behind you, you watched as she took a step closer and uncrossed your arms; you didn’t even try to stop her.
Ghostly fingers tracing your forearm, up to your biceps, resting on your neck, her thumb softly caressing your jawline.
“Tara… don’t.” You tried to sound firm, but as she was closing the gap between you two, your voice lowered a few octaves, betraying you.
“Why not?” It was all she whispered before you felt her lips softly pressing against your own, giving you a chance to push her away and go back to training, if that was what you wished.
You didn’t. Again, your body betrayed you, and so did your thoughts, the images from Friday night clouding up your mind.
The arms that were once crossed to keep her away were now enlacing her waist, pulling her against your own body, desperately trying to feel her warmth.
It was a soft press of lips, but it lasted long enough for you both to sigh, holding onto each other as if something would pull you apart.
“Did I ever tell you you’re so fucking hot in those sweatpants? God! I love when you wear those, I can see you perfectly.” She exhaled against your lips, shaking breath, hands grabbing on your biceps, nails digging the skin before covering your semi-hard member, grabbing the length over the thick cotton fabric.
You had no time to reply, her tongue licking yours so deliciously that was hard to even think of speaking something and break that moment, so you did like Tara, grabbing every muscle you could get your hands on, dartling from her lower back, down to her ass, under her skirt, pulling her up, thighs tightly wrapped around your waist as you reversed positions, aggressively pressing her against the metal locker, a painful moan escaping her lips that sounded like music to your ears.
Unable to keep your mouth away from hers, you pressed your lips again. Aggressively, needy, desperate, like you’ve been longing this for too long, and now, she was giving you the most delicious kiss you’ve ever had. Tara was delicious all over, from her honey voice, to her minty breath, intoxicating your senses with how sweet her perfume was, matching perfectly with the fake persona she wears in front of everyone. It was definitely going to stick to your shirt.
Her breath hitching, soft moans scaping from her lips whenever you moved your head to the other side, kiss fitting deliciously.
A loud laugh coming from the hallway that connected the gym’s open space and the lock room, you were quick to walk towards the shower area, entering the last stall and closing the door behind you with a violent swing, easily opening the water register to mask the sounds Tara was making.
When the icy water hit your body, a moment of guilty took over your senses and you pulled back, breaking the kiss.
“Why did you stop?” Carpenter whined, opening her eyes.
“We can’t do this, Tar.”
“But you know you want this. You know that. Tell me that you don’t. Tell me you didn’t enjoy watching the way Chad was fucking me, or the way he kisses me before going to class.” Your eyes widened, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to another. “What? You think I don’t know you watch me through the window? Why do you think I always kiss him in that same spot?”
“I…”
“You’re so cute… all flustered and embarrassed.”
The tip of her index finger traced your jawline all the way down your neck, slightly peeking through the loosen white shirt that was slowly becoming transparent as the water hit your back, revealing the strap of your bra. She smiled; bottom lip trapped in between her teeth as she pressed herself down on the volume under her, a moan trapped in your throat at the sudden contact.
“For someone that doesn’t want this, your dick shows the opposite.” Tara moved her hips on you, the pressure of your clothed member on her clit getting her to drip on the fabric of your pants. “You’re such a liar.”
“You’re full of bullshit, did you know that?” You moved your hips up, earning a surprised moan.
The girls in the room were loud, talking and laughing about something you didn’t care about, all you wanted to hear was your best friend’s moans, loving the way she whispers your name as her hips continued to roll against you, eyes closed and a small smirk tugging on the corner of her lips.
“And you’re dying to fuck me.”
It was your turn to let out a huff, fingers squeezing the soft flesh of her bare thighs, the short skirt brushing against your hands.
“How long have you been planning this, huh?”
In a teasy tone, you close the gap between her neck and your lips, languid kisses being placed all over, goosebumps forming on the soft skin. You smiled, loving the way she squeezed her legs around your waist.
“Since I saw you kissing that blondie at the party.” She easily confessed; eyes closing to focus on the ghostly contact of your lips on her neck. “The way your hands were on her waist, your leg in between hers, the way she was bouncing on your thigh,” Tara chocked on her breath when you bit her pulse point, heartbeat fast on the tip of your tongue. “your lips on her neck, leaving bruises everywhere… It was so fucking hot I couldn’t take it anymore, so I dragged Chad upstairs and made him fuck me while I was thinking of you.” It was her turn to smile when she felt you twitch under her. “I bet you can go deeper than he can, that you can fuck me so good, ruin me… can you do that for me?”
You smiled, swiftly pulling down the hem of your sweatpants enough for your dick to pop out, hitting your belly, a relieved sigh leaving your parted lips. You brought Tara against you again, a low moan escaping her lips as her clit pressed on your length, the damp fabric of her underwear creating a pleasant friction.
“You’re sure you want this?” You asked, once again the guilt threatening to fill your thoughts, but smaller, a lot smaller than the first time, and a lot easier to make it go away; one look from Tara’s dark-brown eyes and it was gone.
Pulling her drenched panties to the side, your fingers found her warmth, loving the way she clutched around them, rubbing it up and down her slit before positioning the tip of your cock in her entrance, forcing your way in, her hips buckling it up as you stretched her out.
“Fuck, you’re so thick,” Tara breathed out, nails digging in the back of your neck as you slowly pushed yourself inside her, the velvety walls clutching around you.
Trying to ease the moment, you brought your mouth down her neck, licking all the way up to her jawline, softly biting the spot once you were all inside. Her head tilted back against the sweaty tile as water fell around the both of you, mostly hitting your back as your body protect hers from the cold temperature.
“Look at me,” you demanded, trying to keep yourself calm, allowing her to adjust first. “Tara, look at me. I want your eyes on me.”
Tara was tight around you, her warmth embracing you as deliciously as her legs wrapped your waist or as her fingers intertwined in your hair.
It took her a minute to open her eyes, pupils completely dilated as she leaned in, licking your lips with a mischievous smile before taking your bottom lip in a hurtful bite, easing the pain with the tip of her tongue.
“What are you waiting for? Just fuck me already.” She breathed out, purposefully clenching around you.
You huffed, amused by this version of Tara you never knew was hidden behind sweet smiles and kind personality; she was a slut. And you were loving every second of this, the way the back of her converses were pressed on your thighs, keeping you impossibly closer to her. Or the way she looked at you with dark, half-opened eyes, completely focused on your features.
You pulled back slowly, her mouth hanging open and eyes threatening to close, but you stopped when loud and messy conversation filled the lock room.
Tara pulled you closer by instinct, causing you to enter her in a fast move, your hand fast to cover her mouth, a low shhh falling from your lips when a struggled moan scaped hers, her throat vibrating, eyes rolling to the back of her head.
The view you had was sinful, your hand covering Tara’s mouth, some drops of water sprawling on her face, the mascara starting to run down her cheeks as the heat got too much, not even the coldest temperature couldn’t cool down the two of you, and neither the girls that were chitchatting outside the closed stall.
You started to move, slowly and careful, testing her, your other hand firmly keeping her against the wall.
"Fuck, you're clenching so hard around me." You breathed out with hoarse voice.
Tara covered your hand with hers, caressing gently before pulling it away, lips wrapping around your thumb in, your mind wondering how it would feel to have her mouth wrapped around your cock, sucking you off with the same eager she was sucking on your thumb. 
“I can feel you throbbing inside me,” she whispered, slowly bouncing her body up, using your broad shoulders as support. “it’s so good. Now, fuck me.”
You huffed, the doe, adorable, innocent eyes staring at you was a perfect contrast to the situation you found yourself at, buried deep inside her, controlling every single nerve inside your body to wait instead of fucking her raw, but the request made you smile, hand wrapping around her throat in a slight squeeze as you moved your hip down, leaving only the tip inside before forcing your way in. Tara’s lips fell apart in a silent moan, short nails digging the flesh on your wrist, an overwhelming sensation spreading all over your body to be fully inside her again.
If Tara knew you’d feel this good inside her, she would’ve done it a lot sooner.
Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, mouth open trying to catch a breath as she felt every single centimeter of your dick move inside her, stretching her out in a delicious way, goosebumps all over her body every time she felt the blood running through your veins, pulsating inside her.
You stopped, taking a small step to the side, getting away from the door as you heard steps coming closer. The door loudly closing next to where you were.
“Be a good girl and keep your eyes on me, would you?”
“I’m starting to think you love having my eyes on you.” She teased back, brown eyes staring at you the same second.
“I do, I want to see them when you fall apart with me inside you.” She gulped, the simple words affecting her more than she would admit. You leaned closer, kissing her jawline, waiting for the person on the stall next to you to turn the water on. “Is this what you had in mind? When you picture me with that other girl?”
Tara wasn’t the jealous type, but now that she actually had you inside, she did feel a twinge of it inside her chest.
“No,” black painted nails grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at her. “this is what I pictured when I was with Chad, with him deep inside me… unlike you, he’d be ruining me right now.”
Your tongued slid on your bottom lip, the teasing failing to cause something in you.
“Want me to fuck you, Tara? Want everyone around us hearing how good I am making you feel, instead of your perfect boyfriend?”
“At least he wouldn’t be afraid to break me.”
You tilted your head slightly to the side, hearing more water running behind your back. Taking a strong grip on her waist, you slid inside in one swift move, covering her lips with yours. Once you were all inside her, it was hard to pull out, it was warm and soft, fitting just right.
Tara moaned against your lips, feeling every inch being pulled out only to slowly go in the next second, a steady pace that felt complete with the delicious taste of your tongue on hers. After a few more testing thrusts, you began to speed up your pace, filling her to the brim and making her toes curl, head falling back against the wall, not being able to hold back as your body was begging for release.
Removing her hands from your neck, her finger gripped the top of the wall behind her, pulling her weight up as much as she could, allowing you to wrap your arms under her knees, pushing her body against the tile.
This new position made you go deeper, hitting every sensitive spot inside her, teeth chewing on her lip bottom violently enough to almost draw blood, afraid that if she stopped doing that, everyone would hear how desperate she was for you and the running water wasn’t loud enough to cover it.
You wouldn’t last longer, not with how tight Tara was clenching around you and the way she had her eyes locked to your, pupils fully blown, darkening the doe eyes. You leaned closer, sucking the plump lip once you saw a drop of blood nearly falling to the floor, soothing the bruised skin with your tongue.
In a wrong move, your cock slipped out, standing proudly between the two bodies. Tara whined; eyes half-open at the feeling of being empty. She shook her head in a silent request. You smiled, caressing her cheeks. One hand of hers came down to meet you, scratching the nape of your neck, a clear sign that was close.
“What is it, love? Need something?”
Teasingly, you held your shaft, rubbing it along her sticky slit, teasing her aching hole a few times. The small girl was desperate, the knot in the pit of her stomach turning into tears, running down her face along with fainted black mascara.
“Please, please, please, I need you inside now, I’m so close…” She cried out, trying to pull you closer.
“Look at you, so pathetic, all you can do is beg. Aren’t you ashamed to be such a slut, Tara?” Your knuckle brushed the hair off of her face, allowing you to admire the red color that filled cheeks, stained by the ruined mascara.
She nodded to your question, unable to form a single sentence as you changed positions before sliding inside her once again, keeping a slow pace, allowing her to adjust, the velvety walls welcoming you tightly. Your grip on her waist was bruising the soft skin, no longer giving a single thought about the marks you shouldn’t left on her body, you wanted her to look at them when Chad fucks her and think of you, on how good it felt to have you buried deep inside her.
With your fingers still glued to her hip bones, you fastened your pace, the wet sounds coming from your bodies and her whiny moans barely being muffled by the running water, deep down you wanted everyone to hear the way she was saying your name like a sacred mantra. It was so fucking sexy the way her nose scrunched when you hit the sweet spot inside her or the way the tip of her tongue licked on her lips, throat dry from all the deep breaths she took.
Your name falling from her lips, getting you to look at her, “I want… fuck,” she closed her eyes, holding back as long as she could, prolonging this moment. “I want you to come deep inside me. Can you do that for me?”
You couldn’t see it, but with her request, you were sure your pupils were blown out, because the smile she let out watching your expression change, was reason enough for you to fuck the life out of her. Your nails sank in the flesh of her ass, forcefully moving her body up and down your throbbing cock, the knot in the pit of your stomach getting as tighter as Tara’s walls around you.
She was close, you both were, her hands in the back of your head bringing your mouth to her neck, peppering soft kisses on the wet skin, the faint smell of her perfume filling your lungs, her moans whispered straight to your ears like the most addictive song you heard before.
When she came, her teeth sunk on your shoulder with a hard bite, nails digging the nape of your neck. You followed her, coming deep inside like she asked you to. Your legs trembled, hands gripping the top of the wall to maintain balance while the other held her waist, the small body violently twitching against yours.
Opening your eyes, little stars shone in front of you. You took deep breaths, Tara holding onto you like her life depended on it — at this point, it did. She had 0 strength to stand on her own.
When she finally let go of your shoulder, a satisfied hummed left her lips followed by a smirk-like smile, hands now delicately caressing the sides of your neck and jawline, fingers removing a few strains of wet hair from your face.
“It feels so good,” she whispered, movies her hips in a perfect circle. You chocked on your breath. “you’re all inside me and it’s so good.”
“Is this how you fantasized?”
“It’s far better.” She laughed, weakly. “You’re much better than...”
You stopped her from finishing the sentence, kissing her with ease and care, “Can you take another one for me?” Tara gave you a sly smile, the heels of her converses pulling you closer. “That’s my good girl.”
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gallusrostromegalus · 2 years
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Herschel Has Discovered Tool Use. Again.
In january of 2021, deep in the throes of pandemic psychosis, we acquired a Corgi Puppy.
I would like to go on the record that we did not get a Corgi because they're cute. We got a Corgi because they're criminally brilliant and enthusiastic working dogs that were bred to bully cattle, which is the exact temperment a dog living in a house with three ADHD adults should have. Herschel does commit a lot of crime, but he also does his appinted service-dog job of "make everyone wake up, eat meals and go to bed at a reasonable and consistent time" extremely well, as well as his bonus jobs of "Keep the squirrels the hell out of the garden" and "Yell every time the cat does something". I didn't actually ask him to do that last job but it has helped in the "teach the cat to stay the hell off the stove" area.
But even with having a whole pack of humans another dog, and a cat to manage, this pales in comparison to his genetic capacity to manage several hundred sheep or cattle across the fields of Wales, and thus, Herschel has decided on further intellectual pursuits to occupy himself, namely, speedrunning the early phases of human tool use and terraforming.
I realized he has the brains of an entire hunter-gatherer tribe shortly after he got fixed, and within 24 hours and still dpey from anesthesia, he'd figured out that his plastic cone could be used to monopolize the water bowl and his favorite chew toys, and within a week, had learned how to carry three toys at once while leaving his mouth open by tucking the toys behind his enormous ears and under his chin. He also figured out that he could wiggle the cone to rest against his shoulders, and started using it as a shovel by literally running the bottom edge into the ground. But that wasn't making holes effeicently enough, apparently, and I ended up watching him figure out how to rotate the cone around so the two pieces of overlapping plastic were under his chin, then use his chin and the stairs to the deck to pinch both ends into a much more efficient V-Shape that let him gouge huge strips of dirt up in seconds. The anthropologists and animal behaviorists in the audience may recognize this as Tool Creation, a behavior normally only seen in higher primates, crows, and some parrots. Once a hole of suitable length, depth and temperature had been achieved, he very carefully rolled the cone around so the digging side was over his head and the smooth side under his chin, and splooted into his hole to cool his little tummy and stitches off. It was at that point that I realized that I was going to have to teach him how to garden, or he was going to teach himself.
He no longer has the cone (He was beginning to experiment with it as a battering ram), but his morning ritual is now "Wake everyone up at 8AM by screaming, locate everyone in house and jam my nose up theirs to make sure they're alive, go outside and scream at the squirrels. Now that Yard is Secure, go get Fun Parent who has hopefully taken their meds by now, and supervise them while they rifle through the plants (this is apparently KEY to their mental health), eating any pest animals Fun Parent points out, chase squirrel AGAIN, go inside and get Breakfast cookie." and BY GOD if we deviate from it there will be much screaming and destruction. If I am not home, it has been reported that he walks round the garden beds and sniffs the plants in the order I usually check them in before he will agree to come in. He doesn't quite know what the deal with the melons is, just that they need to be checked.
But we're out of the labor-intensive parts of gardening and now into Harvesting Season, and this is a bit boring except when I give him snap peas right off the vine, and he has decided to work on the complex physics problem that is Doorknobs.
And last week, he had a breakthrough.
Sometime in 2020, my mom sort-of taught her horrible crime herding dog Arwen how to open the back door so she could let herself out as she pleased during the day and stop interrupting Mom's Zoom calls. Arwen is a Kelpie, which means she's about 60lbs with full-length legs and horrible monkey paws that are one joint away from being hands, so when Arwen wants to open the back door, she sits up, leans on the door for purchase/to push it, and uses her terrible crime hands to *push* on the knob until it turns. She can pull the knob open by pawing and catching it on her toes, but she's 11-13 years old now and has mild arthritis, so she prefers to catch it on her central pad instead. She taught Charlie, the other equally brilliant but less criminally inclined dog, to do this but he doesn't like to go outside alone, so he rarely does this.
Herschel, ever the observant student, immediately tried copying them, but even though he is actually tall enough to reach the knob, his toes are just too stubby to get a decent grip on the knob, pushing or pulling, and the first few times, gave up and sat down to scream until one of the fullsize dogs or humans came to open the door for him.
Last week, we were up at my parent's again, and I watched him hunt around the living room until he found his slightly-sticky orange rubber ball (It's clean, it's just a kind of rubber that's always a bit tacky), carry it across the house, stand up on his hind legs at the back door, put the rubber ball on top of the gap between the knob and the wall, and then push down on the ball, which caught the doorknob and turned it for him, thus opening the door. He let himself out, had a merry time yelling at the squirrels, came back in, stopped a few feet inside the door, went back out, grabbed his ball, and brought it back into his kennel, a place he can leave toys if he doesn't want the other dogs playing with them.
This means he somehow worked out how doorknobs work, how fucking levers work, and that his orange rubber ball specifically was the one that would work (none of his other toys are the correct size/texture), that he'd need that ball specifically to open the door again, and yesterday he did the same trick with the bedroom door, so he knows that the rubber ball/skeleton key can be used on all doorknobs, not just that one.
I wonder if I can teach him to sweep.
___
If you want to fund Herschel's research into Tool Use and/or get me therapy for the ensuing chaos, please feel free to donate to my Ko-Fi, or get further Dog Content by subscribing to my Patreon.
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vivwritesfics · 1 month
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Best Dad Ever
Lando is the best girl dad. When his little girl wants to ride horses, he makes it happen
For @nurse-buckley for studying
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Lando didn't have many regrets in life. He didn't regret karting from a young age, he didn't regret joining McLaren. He didn't regret getting married young or having a child either.
Actually, those last two were the best decisions of his life.
What he did regret was letting his four year old meet his sisters horses.
Lola fell in love. Lando hoped that she'd find Flo's huge horses terrifying and scary. But she loved them. She really really loved them. She giggled as the horse took the treat from her hand. Auntie flow had shown her exactly how to do it
She didn't get to ride Flo's horses. They were top show jumpers, Flo didn't want to put her niece at risk like that. Something Lando was incredibly grateful for.
But soon, Lando was strapping her into her car seat and driving her home. "Papa," she began as she looked out of the window, at the horses in the passing fields. "Can I start riding ponies?"
Lando should have seen it coming. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Lola had found love for those great big beasts in the same way his sister had. "Let me speak to your mother, yeah Lols?"
"Okay daddy."
Her mother didn't need a lot of convincing. "Hell yes she can go riding!" Y/N insisted. "I always wanted to as a girl but I never could," she said as she cuddled up to her husband.
"But, what if she realises she want to do karting like her father?" He pouted.
She held his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "I promise, Lan. The next one we have you can introduce to karting."
Lando really liked the sound of that.
***
For Lolas first riding lesson, Lando was there, watching. He arranged it for a date he wasn't at a race and held his wife's hand as he watched. He was so incredibly nervous. Even if all Lola had to do was sit there, he was still terrified.
Soon she was riding every week. Lando desperately wanted to be at every lesson, but, before he knew it, he was at a race.
He wasn't there for the first time she trotted. "Please video it, baby," he said to his wife as they spoke on the phone.
She did just that, recording as she sat tall, the little pony beneath her trotting. Lando watched the video again and again, showing it to anybody that would watch.
He was there for her first lesson off the lead rope. He couldn't stop the smile on his face as she steered the small grey pony over the set of poles.
Lola kept up her riding lessons for a year. Lando attended as many as he could.
When that year of riding lessons was up,y Lando was on a mission to do something big.
It arrived at his location in the mid morning. As soon as it did, Lando put his phone to his ear. "Baby, bring Lola to the yard," he said.
Without questioning him, she got Lola into her riding boots, strapped her into the car and set off for the stables.
"Where's daddy?" Lola asked as they drove.
"He's gonna meet us there, sweety," Y/N said as she drove.
Lola frowned. "Why?"
"I don't know, Lol's."
As soon as Lola was out of the car, she was running towards her father. "What's going on, Daddy?" She asked.
Taking her hand, Lando walked Lola towards the barn. "I got you something, Lol's, " she said.
Lola gasped when Lando pointed to a stable. In that stable was a black pony, wearing a pink headcollar. "Lola, baby, I'd like you to meet Raven," said Lando. "He's your new pony."
Lola let out a little, quiet scream. "Really, daddy?! He's all mine?"
"He is, baby."
Lola through her arms around her father, squeezing him as tight as she could.
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bewarethecircles · 9 months
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After a vacation in Alpha Centauri, Gabriel and Beelzebub come back to earth and move in together. They proceed to be the worst and most baffling neighbors anyone in the neighborhood has ever experienced. 
They introduced themselves as Bee and Jim, but immediately started laughing about it, so people are pretty sure those aren't their real names. 
Neither of them seem to have jobs, but they must be rich, because their house is massive and they're always wearing fancy clothes, and their wallets are bursting with money. Maybe they’re in the mafia?
Speaking of fancy clothes, “Jim” is always wearing designer suits. There is an ongoing game where people attempt to take a picture of him in any other clothes. One time, an enterprising teenager went so far as to sneak over in the middle of the night to look into his bedroom (hoping he’d be in pajamas), and saw him still in a suit, Standing on Top of the Bed, eyes wide open and Smiling Brightly. (Gabriel has not gotten the hang of sleeping yet.) (The teenager refuses to go near the house ever again.)
The short one, “Bee,” is consistently trailed by flies. This is alarming to everyone. They say that they're a “fly-keeper,” but people are pretty sure that's not a thing. Do they carry rotting meat around or something?
Bee also seems to be constantly changing appearances. One day they have a buzz cut, the next day their hair goes to their mid-back. Their eyes are a different colour every time you see them. People have set up cameras to take pictures of them on different days, and upon comparing them they are Definitely almost 6 inches taller this week. Even their facial features shift. 
It gets to the point where people decide Jim must just have multiple partners, and be lying about it. (“Multiple partners that all look similar and are never seen together?” the opposition will point out. When asked if they have a better theory, they can never answer.)
The two of them will have romantic moments Anywhere, including standing in the middle of the highway staring into each others eyes. By all rights they should have been run over, but in a bizarre coincidence every car in the area ran out of fuel and stopped moving at that exact moment. People want to blame Jim for it (he did make a strange hand movement, after all), but that would just be absurd.
They use the absolute worst pet names for each other. A list of overheard ones is being recorded. “My rotten cabbage?” “My hell-bringer?” “Dearest packet of crisps??” 
You cannot let them notice that you're disgusted by their lovey-doveyness. They will either get exponentially more cringey, or straight up insult you until you run away crying. Or both. 
“Everyday” by Buddy Holly will be audible to the whole block at all times. Do they know other songs exist? Don't they get bored of this one?? Why is it so loud???
There’s a statue of Jim in the front yard. Its 20 feet tall and definitely a HOA violation, but people are too scared to mention it. Both Bee and Jim will come out at different times and spend hours staring at it dreamily. 
People would hate them, but ever since they moved in the weather has been perfect, crime is at an all time low, and there’s little trucks that go around selling hot chocolate, and those things Probably cant be because of them, but still...
Plus, Jim doesn’t understand how money works at all, so he’ll give you $300 for a bag of chips. It's endearing, even if he is sometimes a jerk.
Bee does seem to know how money works, but they’ll frequently pay even more than Jim, especially if the person seems overworked and the place is under-staffed. They say they have experience with it.
After a month of them living there, most of the neighborhood is in a group chat created to discuss the two of them. Beelzebub is secretly in the chat, and reads their favourite theories to Gabriel. 
A rumour starts going around that they're an angel and a demon in disguise, but no one can agree which one is which. 
Beelzebub is the one who started the rumour. 
If anyone writes a fic with any of this by all means tag me I'd love to see it!!
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inkskinned · 8 months
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we heard that you were very disappointed in us both as a generation and specifically as a generation of women (emphasis yours), how we had let ourselves go and now we were slutty and ill-tempered and holding onto notions of feminism like "having a savings account" and "equality."
we were very sorry about it, we didn't realize. it is very hard for you, in your life, because your entire definition was centered around the word providing, and that's a really vague and undulating word. it is hard to be a provider. for your purposes, the word provider here can be defined as "having a job", although it sometimes also extends to "doing yard work", "grilling on occasion," and "knowing basic car anatomy."
we had to do some reading but we divided it out. do not worry. high-value women will fill in the rest of the gaps of your life - all those silly feminine things like doing the dishes. we didn't realize we had asked too much when we asked you to pick up after yourself. we did not realize you were rendered small and scared and crying about the possibility of doing the laundry. here is a joke to lighten the sentiment: a man that listens when you talk to him.
we heard about how we had fallen from glory and it sickened us and made us very, very sad. lindsey had to cut all her hair off and tara threw up. we lit one million candles and we are going to have a vigil about it tonight. all of the people in this world that you do not approve of are going to be there and we will all be in mourning colors because we have lost your respect which is of course the only thing that any of us were looking for.
we searched around our bedrooms and our closets and for some of us it took a while but we all found the pricetag that we were originally born with, the one that gave our listing offer, the one that smells like rot and pine needles. we were horrified because many of us had taken deductions and hadn't realized it. i had scraped my knees and decided to be a lesbian so they had to take my voicebox out so i could never call home again. janice had been with too many people overall so we had to put her into the big squisher that will hopefully collapse her walls so that when you're with her, you'll feel so big and powerful. it will be like you're conquering something instead of being close with someone.
we are all going to the funeral of feminism and we will tear at our bodies and fall over ourselves. we will invite you onstage for a live recording of your podcast about the occasional minor inconvenience of self-reflection. you will talk about how we have targeted you and made you feel the sweat slick down your back, and we will teach you basic self-defense out of solidarity.
do not worry, we are seeing to all the outliers. taylor asked to be taken seriously so we have shipped her off to prison. laura asked you to accept her femininity regardless of her presentation. you will be happy to hear all women are now and forever going to have to be small and thin and pretty and white and ablebodied and quiet and unassuming and ladylike, which is different than how society has previously told us to act.
i am going to have to shave off my jawline, which is a little masculine, and they are going to have to reshape my hands, which are very square and thick - all the work i've done with them has made their veins stand out, so we're just going to have to exsanguinate me. i am horrified to have been out in public like this.
we are going to sit around the campfire and we will talk about being weird little girls that made potions in pink teacups. we will talk about the first time we made a difference. we will talk about the private lives of crickets, and then, at the stroke of three in the morning (the witching hour, obviously) - we will all promptly shut up.
and this will be your beautiful world. this silence that spans every corner of every street and every zoom meeting and every alley. i do not think you'll notice at first - it will be the same as every television show and movie and book. we will all just simply sit there in our doll dresses and smile blithely at your advances and none of us will do you the dishonor of answering and none of us will appear to be in distress and none of us will nag you or make a fuss or get hysterical about it. it will just be quiet, and you will say finally, some peace for once! and we will smell of smoke and our teeth will be white and the next day will come.
tonight we are going to bury the last little bits of our humanity. you are not invited. it is going to be ugly.
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evilminji · 7 months
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...Wait. ACTUALLY???
The Portal is basically a doorway right? Big ol solid and sustained gateway from Realm A to Universe B? Unlike the brief blips of natural portals?
As IN... a Ring could therefore, theoretically, send out it's Search For Willpower. EXE vibes? Hit the portal -> go THROUGH the portal -> and continue expanding as the search continued until it hit a Confirmed Match(tm)?
You know... somebody INCREDIBLY SUPER LIKELY to match? Like... say... a Dead Green Lantern who? Had the WILL to continue on as a Ghost? Probably would get priority over any untested "new" Lantern candidates? Since they are somehow both in the system and not?
Recognized, yet a different species somehow?
The Rings records mark them deceased. Yet here they are, without a Ring. Which they OBVIOUSLY need, as Lanterns. Because once a Lantern, always a Lantern. Nyooom~ off it goes.
Off? Probably a whole SHIT TON of them go. Like? A truely, TRUELY alarming amount.
Think hundreds of thousands, suddenly wrenching themselves free of their stands and SHOOTING into the sky. Yes, a few at a time is normal. Day in, day out. Hundreds a day.
Not upwards of millions.
Not all at once.
A SEA of green orbs shooting up into the night sky like shooting stars. So many it chokes the sky. Drives everything to a stand still. All of them going the same direction. Some... EVENT... has just happened and no one knows what it is.
You have no choice but to follow them. Figure out where they are going and what's DRAWING them. You fly for weeks. Take shifts, following them. Alarm countless innocent people and more then a few governments.
It's....? Earth? Fuck. Of COURSE it had to be that God forsaken rock. EVERYTHING seems to come from there! Do you have ANY IDEA how many Lanterns they have stationed there by now? Multiple times the amount ENTIRE QUADRENTS usually take.
Why is it ALWAYS that planet?? Someone call Hal and his merry band of migraines. They're coming in hot. And NO, we CANT stop them. Don't bother asking. We ALSO have no idea where they're headed.
Think about being in Amity. Quiet day for once. You don't trust it. Something gonna happen, you can FEEL it.
A ring shoots past you. Then another. And another. Then dozens. Hundreds. THOUSANDS. Green, glowing, and like they were shot from a gun. The sky hailing ghost jewelry because God hate Amity specifically, apparently, and FUCK your premiums. You dive for your car.
Watch, baffled, at the Fenton house is SWARMED. The local crack pots are trying to shoot at RINGS. Failing to hit a single one. The swarm organized, writhing, and gracefully ALIVE somehow.
Aliens shoot past your car. They're wearing LANTERN get ups. Fighting the local crackpots. The sky is FULL of Lanterns now. Oh god, first Ghosts, now Aliens. Your mother was right. You SHOULD have stayed in Ohio with her sister.
The Rings break the Fenton's door down. The clattering is CACOPHONOUS as they push and shove to race inside. You watch the doorway. Some instinct telling you not to look away. Even as Lanterns and crazy people are shooting at each other not yards away.
Watch. The. Door.
Ghosts come back out. ALIEN Ghosts. Wearing LANTERN rings. Your jaw drops as they just... just KEEP coming. Every last one of them wearing a ring. You struggle to remember how many there WERE. As the sky turns GREEN. As Amity truely DOES become the most haunted place... anywhere.
You're pretty sure in the oceans of GREEN you spot the Justice League. You DEFINITELY spot Phantom. Thank god. No Spooks ever get away with shady nonsense on HIS watch, so whatever happening? 'S gonna get sorted.
And JUST? As you think... maybe, JUST maybe... you could just? Inch your car into drive, and sloooowly get the fuck out of whatever THIS mess it? Those white suited crazy people from the Feds show up and start trying to ARREST the SPACE COPS. For not letting them take unprovoked attacks on OTHER Space Cops!
Oh Shit(tm).
@hdgnj @ailithnight @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes
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xxsabitoxx · 3 months
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Fusiguro Toji NSFW A-Z
Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)
Warnings: if it isn’t abundantly clear, this is smut :)
A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 12 :)
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Toji can go one of two ways after sex… either he’s snoring before you can even find the strength to push yourself into a sitting position or he’s already up and getting things to clean you. His aftercare depends wholeheartedly on how much he likes you to be honest. If you’re just a hookup, don’t expect anything from him in return. But if you’re together, he has feelings for you? He’ll make sure you’re cleaned up and comfortable and even ask if you want pain meds because he’s sure you’ll be sore in the morning if you don’t take anything now. He cares, as gruff as he can be, he does care and wants to make sure you’re good after. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Toji is an ass man all the way, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules. He loves you ass, he loves to hold it, squeeze it, smack it, the whole nine yards. He loves how it looks when he fucks you, how it recoils and jiggles every time his hips slam into it. He loves how it looks in cute underwear and tight pants, he loves how it feels when you sit on his lap or grind against his cock. He’s shameless in his love for your ass, often sliding his hand in your back pocket when you’re in public… and if you don’t have a back pocket he’s just going to grab your ass and hold it. 
On himself, Toji is quite proud of all of his body, he worked pretty hard on it. He’s buff, broad, built, and has a slutty little waist. Though he has to admit, he’s pretty fond of his shoulders and biceps. The sheer size of them is enough to have men and women looking twice as you two walk pass. They’re huge, covered in muscles, and way too tempting to touch… he knows you love them too. Especially with the way you cling to them as he fucks you, the way your nails rake down them as he nearly forces you up the bed with his thrusts.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Toji is fucking filthy, he will cum where ever you allow him to and he will make sure to ruin you thoroughly. He is partial to coming on your ass, pulling out during doggy to paint your lower back and ass in his pearly white cum before plunging back into your tight heat because he never goes down after one load. He’ll creampie you if you ask him to, but he needs to make sure you’re on proper preventative medication if you’re able to get pregnant. He also likes coming on your chest and face but damn is he into coming on your ass and back. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
This man has a scent kink… yeah. He loves the way you smell… yeah sure the perfume or cologne is nice and the body lotion smells good but… he loves the smell of your natural musk. If you’re working out together and he gets horny because you’re teasing him by doing squats? He’ll nearly pounce on you because he knows you're sweaty. He is addicted to it, shamelessly dipping his head between your thighs and running his nose along your inner thighs, inhaling so deeply it makes you squirm because you know what he’s doing but you can’t get the words out. I’m telling you, he’s a filthy, freaky mother fucker… the dirtier the better… but not too dirty, ya know? 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Considering the man is a father, it’s safe to say that he knows what he is doing. Toji knows his way around the male and female body and he can navigate it with ease. He’s able to hit all the right places without even needing to be guided. He can tell simply from the noises you make and the expressions that cross your face. He’s able to make you cum in record time, to the point it feels like your head is spinning from the intensity and speed he was able to push you over the edge. It’s utterly fascinating and will leave you weak in the knees.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Toji is all about doggy style in any form. Either the typical on your hands and knees, or with your face pressed into the mattress below you, hands limp by your sides and back arched. Truthfully, he loves anything that lets him grab your ass, so cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also up there for him. Toji is a sucker for face sitting, 69-ing and bending you over any surface. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He can be unintentionally funny but for the most part Toji is 100% serious during sex. Anything related to humor is usually a snarky, sarcastic, or teasing comment. He’s more into dirty talk than anything so really you won’t get a joke or laugh out of him when he’s balls deep.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
It’s mildly unruly down there I won’t lie to you. He washes it when he showers but he doesn’t really trim it… he hasn’t since his wife passed honestly. But if he finds himself in a new relationship with someone he really cares for, he’ll take the time to clean himself up down there. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Toji gets kind of awkward with the romantic aspect of sex, he usually expresses it through praising you and dirty talk but that’s about it. He’s not really one to sputter out an “I love you” while he’s fucking you… he’s not really an “I love you” kind of guy in general. That’s not to say he never says it, he just has his ways of showing it more so than speaking it out loud. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Any day, any time, doesn’t matter. If he needs to get off and you aren’t present, he’s grabbing your lotion and he’s looking through videos he’s taken of the two of you fucking and he’s jerking himself off to them. You’ve come home to him mid-masturbation and teased him for it, but he gets his revenge pretty quick by pinning you to the wall or mattress and getting the both of you off opposed to lamely jerking himself with his own hand. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Dom/Sub, BDSM, spanking, choking, cock and ball torture… yeah I said it. Toji totally enjoys the pain realm of sex and is not afraid to admit it. Hell he’d go and get his nipples pierced if he didn’t think he’d pop a boner while it was happening. As mentioned above, he has a scent kink, so olfactophilia. Toji likes to gag you and be gagged, along with breathplay like I said above. He enjoys humiliating you but doesn’t like to be on the receiving end. He’s also a voyeur.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Your bed. But also anywhere private or not. Toji will totally fuck you on any surface in your home, he will fuck you in your car if you have one, he’ll fuck you on public transportation and in public spaces. He does not give a fuck about where he fucks you to be honest… but his personal favorite is your bed. People may not be able to see you… but they’ll certainly hear you. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Breathing… I’m just fucking with you. Toji really likes when you do mundane things together, like cooking dinner or watching TV together (sir then care for your son–) for some reason those mundane tasks get him going. Maybe it’s because of the simplicity of those actions that allow his mind to wander, but yeah they really get him going. He also enjoys when he walks in on you in the shower or fresh out of the shower or just about to get in the shower… you naked turns him on okay? He’s a simple man with simple needs. Don’t ask him why, but something about red lipstick on your pretty lips gets him going too, he really doesn’t know why. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
No age play, no daddy kink, no breeding if there is a potential it could actually work. This man is a father, he does not see the appeal in age play, nor does he like the daddy kink. He’ll totally breed you if you’re unable to get pregnant or are taking proper preventative measures but even then he’s not really fucking you with the idea of breeding you in mind, if that makes sense. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Oral-giving-god to be honest. Toji’s tongue is long and mobile, he knows how to use it and loves using it. He’ll spend hours below your waist pleasuring you if you let him, he uses it as a way to unwind from the stress of the day. He likes when you go down on him too of course but honestly he prefers giving rather than receiving… kinda shocking, no? 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Another man that can and will break the bed frame. Toji’s pace is naturally rough and hard, so hard that you’ll often have bruises where his hands are holding you as he thrusts into you. Not only that, if you bruise easily you’ll likely see some bruising around where his hips are meeting the back of your thighs. Bringing a whole new meaning to being unable to sit the next day. You didn’t even know something like that was possible until meeting and sleeping with Toji. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not a fan, but will never decline. He’s not one to decline your request because you’re usually pestering him while out in public, being cheeky just to get a rise out of him. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he really doesn’t like quickies because he knows he can’t hold back. Sure, go ahead and tease him while clothes shopping. Yeah, he’ll follow you into the dressing room and take care of your little attitude. But no, you will not be walking out of there. Rather you’ll be limping, which makes it all the more embarrassing for you. That’s his main reason for disliking quickies, because you’ll bitch and whine after (he loves it who the fuck is he kidding?) 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Toji isn’t one for experimenting, he knows what he likes and he is hesitant to stray away from that. Sure he’ll take a risk, I mean fucking you in public is already risky enough. But experiment wise? Toji isn’t really into trying new crazy things. If you whine enough and bat your lashes at him, you may just get him to cave. But overall, Toji is sticking to what he likes. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Toji has had enough practice to build his stamina. On average this man can go anywhere from 6-12 minutes and even then he doesn’t always soften after coming once. You like to joke around and call him an old man, saying he must have taken a pill for that to happen. To which he smirks and plays along. Toji can also go about 3 or 4 rounds before calling it quits because he’s tired. The man is honestly a force to be reckoned with and you learned the hard way. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He’s not against them but he’s also not for them. He doesn’t really see the appeal in them until you bring one into the bedroom and show him how versatile they can be. Toji can’t lie, he was pretty damn amused by the suction cups and vibrators. Even the “suckers” piqued his interest. He understood your interest in them after nearly torturing you for two hours with a “magic wand” vibrator… one that plugs in so you didn’t have the saving grace of the battery dying. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh he’s evil. If you didn’t get that idea from what I just said above, Toji will damn near torture you just for his own satisfaction. He’s so mean to you in bed but he’ll make sure you cum. So I guess you can’t necessarily say he’s “unfair” in that aspect. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He groans and moans but you really can’t get a breathier noise than that. He’ll curse and whisper in your ear as he fucks you, making you squirm from the varying sensations. Toji definitely won’t try and silence his noises, letting them come out as loud as they want to but that’s really it. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Toji records the two of you fucking and uploads them to pornhub for extra money. He’s careful with them though, making sure neither your face or his are present in any of the videos for the sake of anonymity. Honestly, the two of you are quite popular on the site and manage to bring in some decent checks for your “home made” tapes. You’ll spend hours reading the comments on the videos and laughing at the people getting off to the two of you. Though, somewhere amid all the creepy “Fuck them even harder” and “Bet his cock feels amazing” comments are people with genuine suggestions for new videos that you and Toji can’t help but try out. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
This man is hung… in my humble opinion. When soft, Toji is just shy of 6 inches when soft and when he’s hard he’s just shy of 8.4 inches. He knows he has a big cock and he’s even prouder of the fact that he knows how to use it. He’s still got his foreskin, but please ignore the stinky allegations, he at least cleans under it I swear. He’s tan and girthy with pretty veins running along his shaft and his tip is a pink/mauve color (think #c26d83 … yeah I’m going in on Toji idk)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Wild and not at the same time. He prefers to have sex every night but he also won’t throw a hissy fit if you aren’t in the mood. He can control his needs pretty well and even then if he really wants to get off, he’ll just take a quick shower to handle his issue. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Toji can knock out in 10 seconds or 10 minutes. It depends on how rough he was with you because he’s trying to get better with aftercare. He wants to at least clean you up and make sure you’re okay before knocking out and snoring like a bear for the next eight hours. 
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morganbritton132 · 8 days
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Eddie’s live-streaming from the front porch where he’s sitting on their porch swing, playing guitar. So Eddie did not bring his followers into their neighborhood drama. Steve did.
You can see Steve pass in front of the camera a few times before you hear him loudly ask, “What?”
There’s a pause and then he’s like, “I can’t hear you!”
Eddie looks up and over towards the yard but he doesn’t stop playing. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in the conversation going on at all. His chat on the other hand are thrilled to be able to hear Dan say, “Got myself a ring camera. It records the porch and the driveway and sends the video to my phone if it detects movement. So if any vandalism happens…I’ll know.”
Steve: Okay…? And I have a gun
Eddie: *experiences twelve different flavors of ‘what now?’*
Dan: Is that a threat?
Steve: No. I thought we were both just stating facts about home security no one cares about.
Steve: You can go now. Bye.
Eddie, stopping Steve before he goes back inside: Babe, you don’t actually have a gun, right?
Steve:
Eddie: Stevie, you once almost took my head off with a baseball bat full of nails in your sleep. You did NOT buy a gun.
Steve:
Steve: Are you stupid? Why would buy a gun when I could borrow one from Nancy?
Steve: *goes inside*
Eddie:
Eddie: That didn’t answer my question, Steve!
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coeurify · 8 months
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actually on my knees begging for a girl next door blurb with Ellie
like imagine moving into the house next to her’s and her being all grumbly and closed off because she cannot physically face the reader because she’s just a loser lesbian and OMG THE UNKNOWN PINING SUJDJSNSNDB
I NEED HER I CANT-
WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR LOSER GND!ELLIE ⁉️
giggles.. cause like.. yea.
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if we r talking modern!ellie, oh god would it be the most cliche shit ever (plz tell me if u want jackson!ellie version cause i’d be happy to do that too. or jus more of this concept) [not edited]
⋆˚✿˖° im talking, ellie looking out from her window in her old house, eyes narrowing as a moving truck pulled into the pretty blue house next door. the neighborhood had been recently taken over by young families, which ellie hated— cause why was she being interrupted in her ‘laying in her bed while blasting music and complaining to herself’ alone time by a bunch of kids screaming outside? either way. she expected another one of these cases.
⋆˚✿˖° but then you popped out, trying to handle three boxes all on your own, cheek pressed against the cardboard as you yelled something ellie couldn’t hear to whoever else was in moving truck. you had glanced over at ellie’s house, maybe even up at her window. and maybe ellie was just dramatic, but she flipped away from that window and face down onto her bed so quickly she was pretty sure it was a new record. because fuck you were pretty.
⋆˚✿˖° and it only got worse later, when el was pulling her hair down from its bun, glancing the sun pressing below the clouds. her fingers moved to close the curtains of her window, and there you were, standing at the window directly across from hers. like— shit straight from a taylor swift music video or something.
⋆˚✿˖° and you, almost as awkward as her, let your hands fall down from their place above your head. you had been putting up shades, but once you caught the gaze of your messy haired neighbor, you smiled at her. fuck, you smiled and waved and ellie just turned away and shut her curtains. you know, like the master at social interactions she was.
⋆˚✿˖° a twin frown painted both your lips at the interaction that night, and at the same time you both huffed out, “god, why’d i do that?”
⋆˚✿˖° nothing really got better from there. not when your family forced you over to ellie’s house with a plate of cookies, your sweet smile the first sight ellie had seen that day as she turned the doorknob to shoo away some girl scout selling something. “we don’t need— oh— oh hi.”
⋆˚✿˖° you looked so fucking pretty. ellie was sure it was fake. maybe she was still in bed dreaming. maybe this was about to turn into one of those really weird s- never mind. you were talking now, and not asking to borrow sugar, so definitely real. “hi! uh— I just, we— i mean, my family, we just wanted to introduce ourselves. and give a gift i guess,” you glance to the plate of wrapped up treats and chuckle lightly. because really, cookies?
⋆˚✿˖° ellie was about red as the shirt she was wearing, stammering a thank you as joel creeped behind her at the door. “you the new neighbors kid?” joel had asked, making ellie clam right up. she backed away from the door, like— just side shuffled out of your view with an awkward wave.
⋆˚✿˖° your eyes followed her, fighting back the odd sense of disappointment that you were no longer staring at the freckled and flushed face of your new neighbor. “uh, yea—yes sir.” you eventually spoke again, offering your grin to joel instead.
⋆˚✿˖° one time joel was doing yard work the same time your family was outside working on the garden. you were fanning your sweating cheek with your hand, the warmth from the sun along with carrying in and out heavy tools was not exactly ideal, and you only felt more heated when ellie came outside the door at the exact moment joel ended up making conversation with your mother.
⋆˚✿˖° “your girl in college?” you could hear him ask, but it was lightly muffled, your attention instead on watching as ellie struggled to bend over and tie her converse against the wall. what an odd way to do it. she was balancing some sort of notebook between arm.. maybe pencils too? did she draw? or maybe write? why couldn’t you stop wondering about it?
⋆˚✿˖° your mom answered joel’s question with some version of the story she always does, gushing about how you were doing so well in school, how she was so proud of you. you didn’t tune back in until joel was speaking again, “ah yea, my — well, ellie, she’s in school too. physics major. but she’s got this thing for astronomy too. kid’s always talking about double majoring.”
⋆˚✿˖° god, she was cute and smart? and her name was ellie? you swore the sun got even hotter at the thought of her talking to you about quantum something-or-other, just nodding along. god you could see it now. a hand in that pretty auburn hair.. mumbling ‘mhm.. whatever you say ellie.’
⋆˚✿˖° then you saw her trip down the stairs on her porch as she looked over. full on hand on the side of the stairs to keep her from eating shit on the rocks there. you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, stifling a giggle as you wave her way. only to be given a tight lipped smile as she quickly moved away to her car. god. what an odd girl.
⋆˚✿˖° ellie simply lost it the moment she sat in her car, groaning loudly as she slammed her sketch book on her face. “stupid fucking shoes!” she muttered, as if it was the shoes fault for tripping, and not the way she had been intently staring at your face from across the yard. definitely not.
⋆˚✿˖° but really she couldn’t help it, you looked so good, you were wearing shorts, and ellie was happily taking in the sight of skin before that evil fucking creaky porch board got her tumbling down. fuck. she couldn’t ever talk to you again. not ever. she let her head fall to the steering wheel as she went through a million and one ways to simply become invisible and escape any way of running into you. maybe she should become nocturnal.
⋆˚✿˖° but when she let her head fall to the steering wheel, it honked. like a loud, drawn out honk that had you, joel, and your mother’s head turning to the direction of the sound.
⋆˚✿˖° ellie screeched, and you pressed fingers to your lips to contain another smile. you were pretty sure living here was going to be kind of great.
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