#Daniel Park x Fem reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haknom · 4 months

Text

STARS AND RAINDROPS — PARK JAY

꒰ PLAY’S SCRIPT ꒱ ⪩ Park Jay was well aware of the rivalry between his basketball team and the drama club, yet he couldn’t bring himself to hate them. He loved drama, and of course, he couldn’t express that to anyone. Upon hearing about the auditions for their new play, he only felt thrilled. He was good at hiding secrets, so signing up wouldn’t be that hard, right? Well, it wouldn't be if you, the club leader, weren’t practically everywhere.

꒰ CASTING ꒱ ⪩ bball-team-leader!jay x drama-club-leader-fem!reader (ft. k from &team, sohee and seunghan from riize, eric, younghoon, sangyeon, and juyeon from the boyz, danielle from newjeans, kazuha and eunchae from le sserafim, jisung and mark from nct, ricky from zb1, enha’s jungwon, heeseung, jay, and jake, songyee from woo!ah!)

꒰ GENRES ꒱ ⪩ highschool au, performing arts au, sports au, highschool musical inspired, strangers to lovers, love at first sight, fluff, angst, crack, (kinda) self discovery, and nonidol au.

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ ⪩ profanity, lotsss of arguing, jay has a nightmare, club/team rivalry, lying, k is like really mean, crying, kissing, y/n gets injured for a bit, mentions of possibly being sick, lmk if i missed anything!

꒰ SOUNDTRACK ꒱ ⪩ CLICK HERE!

꒰ PLAY’S DURATION ꒱ ⪩ 23717 words

꒰ AUTHOR NOTE ꒱ ⪩ first fic of the year!! honestly, this fic has existed for the last three years and went through the most craziest revamps in history... So recently I've been rewatching hsm with my older sister and forgot the plot of the old 'mansae' fic so here comes the new and improved mansae fic yall!!! — ps, thank sona for FIGHTING for this fic 😭 and ty to hana for proofreading!!

PERM TAGLIST — @soov @ox1-lovesick @urszn @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl @jennaissantes @yenqa @yeokii @yyunari @wvnkoi @isoobie @strwberrydinosaur @gibbysupremeacyisreal @rikizm @teddywonss @simp4jongseong @100203s @yizhoutv @yuviqik @itsactuallylina @i-yeseo @y6qiso @flwoie @shinrjj @rikibun

ACT ONE.

“So, practice is still on tomorrow?” K asked while throwing his blazer over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m down.” Eric said with a smile, wrapping his arm around Jay’s shoulder.

“What about you? I’m sure everyone else is okay with it.” Eric asked the exhausted boy beside him, tightening his arm around Jay’s shoulder.

Jay hummed in response, a yawn breaking through midway. They arrived at K’s locker as he unlocked his own, and Jay pressed his back into the locker beside K’s. Today’s practice was enough for him.

He was ready to fall asleep and wake up the next day, discarding all his assigned work. His eyes fell shut at the sounds of K’s locker interior clashing with his personal belongings.

“Excuse me.” someone said, gaining the attention of the three boys. Jay slightly opened one eye, glancing at the sight before him. Nakamura Kazuha, a member of the drama club, looked annoyed more than ever.

Eric scoffed at the sight, alongside him, Jay pushed himself off the locker he was resting on and moved out of her way. She proceeded to tape up a flyer that promoted their club’s newest attraction—a play.

“Wizard of Oz? Really?” K retorted, shutting his locker at the same time.

“What’s it to you?” Kazuha said with a raised brow.

“Nobody’s going to watch that.”

“It’s optional. Either they watch the live action or the play.” Kazuha said, leaving K confused.

“Aren’t those the same thing?” K asked.

“One needs effort, and one doesn’t. For example, you look identical to an Oompa Loompa, so therefore, no costume will be needed.” She insulted him as K’s brows furrowed.

Eric snorted at the sudden insult, immediately clearing his throat once he felt K’s glare. Jay cracked a smile at her words, his gaze shifting to the poster beside him. His attention was drawn away from the conversation and onto the colourful poster before him. It was quite eye-catching.

Everyone in Decelis was aware of the rivalry between the two groups. It wasn’t anything new and stayed every school year, to the point where even newcomers heard about it.

It all started with a misunderstanding. Back in sophomore year, the drama club had just finished designing one of their new set pieces, only for a group of rowdy boys to ruin it right after. A basketball came flying into the center of their backdrop, breaking it immediately.

Of course, your first instinct would be to confront the basketball team. The basketball had a signature on it. One that anyone could recognize immediately; ‘DECELIS BBALL TEAM’ in bolded letters, slightly smudged from the number of sweaty hands that held the ball in many games.

The gym doors busted open, revealing a group of furious students who caught the team’s attention. “That’s where the ball went!” Sohee exclaimed while jogging towards the group of students.

He reached out for the basketball with a smile.

“Thank you—”

“You guys broke our set,” Danielle said, moving the ball out of his reach.

“What?” Sohee questioned, turning to look at his team members and then back at the students in front of him. His team members were just as confused as him. What did they mean by breaking their set?

“Is this your way of sabotaging us? We understand that your game is on the same day as our play, but that wouldn’t differentiate the number of viewers for both events.” Jungwon explained, leaving the group of boys even more confused.

K approached Sohee’s side with furrowed brows. “Why are you guys accusing us of something we didn’t do?” He asked as Eunchae sighed.

“How are we the ones accusing you when your team’s ball is enough to prove our point?” She said, taking the ball from Danielle’s hold.

“It came flying into our set pieces. Everyone in our school knows about the rules with your team’s ball, which is only reserved for tournament and practice services. Nothing else.” She explained. She wasn’t wrong about that. Definitely not. But still, the basketball team did nothing.

“If you guys don’t want to answer truthfully, then that’s fine. Keep whatever reputation you have to uphold, I guess. Stay away from the drama club room, or we will inform the principal.” Juyeon said, glaring into K’s eyes.

K felt furious. He had a history of bad anger management, and his teammates knew. He lurched at the group of students, but Sohee put an arm in front of him, halting his movements. K looked at Sohee as he shook his head.

“Let them be.” He mumbled as the group of students walked away, dropping the ball on the ground and leaving it to dribble as it rolled toward the two boys.

The changing room doors opened, revealing a confused Jay.

“What was all that commotion?” He asked the boys, taking in the scene before him. All the boys turned around to stare at their captain, including K, who was still mad.

He stormed off into the changing room, pushing past Jay, who blocked the entrance slightly.

“What’s up with him?” He asked, pointing behind him with his thumb.

“The drama club accused us of ruining their set pieces and trying to sabotage their play all because of our missing basketball. I don’t even know how it ended up in the halls in the first place.” Sohee explained while walking over to pick up the ball.

“That’s weird…” Jay mumbled, running his fingers through his hair.

“Whatever, let’s continue with the practice.” He changed the topic as everyone went back to what they were doing.

“Jay, what are you doing?” Eric asked as Jay’s attention shifted away from the poster from earlier.

“What? Oh, nothing…” He mumbled, trying to play it off yet failed completely.

Jay looked around, registering that Kazuha had left to put up more posters around their school hallways a while ago and it was only the three of them together.

“Aren’t you coming?” K asked, leaving Jay unsure of what he was referring to.

“Yeah, of course.” He said, hoping it was the right answer.

“Sweet, let’s go!” Eric cheered as the two walked ahead with Jay trailing behind.

Jay didn’t know if he should regret agreeing or be glad that he agreed. He had no clue where they were and was even more confused once he realized they were standing in front of the doors to the drama club room.

“What are we doing here?” Jay asked nervously.

“You weren’t listening were you…” Eric said with a sigh.

“We’re here to get revenge.” He explained as Jay’s eyes widened.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be bad. Just a little warning.” He teased and reached for the doorknob.

“I’m aware of our so-called hatred for their club but isn’t this too much? I mean, what if we get caught? We can’t be benched for our upcoming game. Plus, the season’s almost done. We can’t risk any silly behaviour.” Jay sternly said as he held onto Eric’s arm.

“You’re worrying too much. There’s no way Coach would bench any of us, we have to be the starters no matter what.” He reassured Jay and removed his hand from his arm.

“Follow through with the plan. If we get caught, one of us goes and tries to drive the person out of the room. I’d say, Eric, you’re a good sweet talker.” K said as Eric nodded.

“Alright…” Jay mumbled, still nervous. He didn’t want to bother the club anymore. Plus, what if this ruined his chances of ever joining one of their plays?

Auditions were in less than a week, he couldn’t blow them now.

They checked the halls before opening the door silently. The coast was clear, it was nearing the end of lunch anyway. Usually, nobody’s in the clubrooms during lunchtime. After a few weeks of observing, it was something Jay realized. He wouldn’t get caught signing up at this rate.

They walked into the club room, closing the door behind them. “What should we take? A camera?” K asked while holding one of their cameras in his hands. He examined the other options, including their lens as well.

“I doubt they’d care, it’s a drama club, not a photography club,” Eric said while approaching their other belongings. Jay’s grip tightened on the coat in his hands and gulped. Although he was sure they wouldn’t get caught, he was still nervous about it.

What if it really did happen? Then what?

“A play script sounds better. I heard they’re handwritten too, then proofread to make more copies.” Eric said with a smirk.

“The Wizard of Oz…what a silly name,” Eric said while thumbing the stapled stack of papers he held.

“I doubt they printed any of this. It looks freshly written.” He said and looked at Jay and K.

“Yeah—” K silenced himself at the sound of footsteps.

They quickly looked around the room, trying to find a place to hide. Eric passed K the script as he quietly walked towards the door. K pulled Jay into a nearby room that stored some of their smaller set pieces, shutting it slowly.

“Shh,” K whispered to Jay as his harsh breathing grew quiet. There was a silence between them as they tried listening to what was happening on the other side of the door.

“Hello?” A voice called, catching their attention. Jay’s brows furrowed as he tried to pinpoint whom the voice belonged to.

“Oh, hi.” Eric turned around, smiling at the person.

“Y/N, I was wondering about something, so I decided to wait for one of you to return.” He lied.

“It’s their club leader,” K whispered to Jay as he nodded. Why did their name sound so familiar if that was their club leader whom he never met?

“What is it?” You asked as Eric tried to think of an excuse.

“I know I’m on the basketball team and whatnot, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in drama.” He said, trying to stall more time.

“Here, why don’t we walk outside and talk?” Eric suggested. “I’m feeling a little cramped in here due to the amount of items your club has…” He said while looking around the room.

“Okay…” You said as he smiled and led you two out of the clubroom.

Once the door shut, Jay and K let out a heavy sigh. They opened the storage room door and exited.

“It’s like 50°C in there!” K exclaimed while wiping the sweat that dribbled down his face.

“I know,” Jay mumbled in agreement while trying to catch his breath.

“I’m surprised he managed to convince her to leave. I told you he’s a sweet talker.” K said as the two left the clubroom in silence.

They walked away from the doors as if they weren’t just in there as K held the script under his arm.

“Hopefully, we can last a few days.” He said as they approached his locker. He unlocked his locker as Jay examined the empty halls.

“Wait…” Jay mumbled while pulling out his phone immediately.

“K, we’re late.” He said and looked at the boy in front of him.

“Shit,” K muttered, placing the script in his locker hastily.

“Go, I’ll catch up later. Make a believable excuse for Mrs. Jang. I’m sure she’ll believe you out of all her students.”

Jay nodded and hurried to their English class. It’s true that he’s one of Mrs. Jang’s favourite students and was rarely ever late to class. Of course, she’d believe anything he’d say.

ACT TWO.

P.E. has always been one of Jay’s favourite classes. It was almost like a break from his other boring classes. He loved it and also loved being active.

The voices that cheered his name throughout the gym sounded like distant cries. His only focus was the ball that bounced in front of him and those he was opposing. He caught the ball in his hands as he searched around the gymnasium for his teammate.

“Chenle!” Jay called out, alerting the dark-haired boy. He passed the ball to Chenle who stood only a few meters away from him and ran closer to the net.

“He’s quite good,” your classmate whispered to her friend.

“Who? Chenle?” The friend whispered back with raised brows.

“No, silly! I’m talking about Jay." Her chin rested in her palm as she watched Jay with narrowed eyes.

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’re seeing him play… But I agree, no wonder the team made him their captain.”

You looked away from the two classmates, who continued to converse with each other. The floor everyone sat on was pretty uncomfortable. If it were the bleachers, that would be way better.

It was well-known how serious Jay became once he was on the court with an orange ball in his hands. He was way different from his normal calm aura.

Your eyes trailed over Jay’s figure; his eyes were focused on the ball and the court, sweat droplets visible on his body as his blue hair strands stuck to his damped forehead, and he was breathing heavily. Even with how far you were seated, you could still see quite a lot.

But not the ball that headed your way.

“Look out!” The voices of the boys on the court yelled in unison, scattering all your old thoughts and replacing them with new ones. You prepared yourself to be hit since there was no other spot for you to move, but instead, nothing came your way aside from the tall figure that overshadowed yours.

“Watch your surroundings, if I wasn’t able to catch that you would’ve gotten—hurt…” His harsh tone changed into a shocked one as his voice lowered in volume. His eyes were stuck on you, and he wouldn’t move, despite the number of times his teammates called his name.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your friend from beside you called out.

“I’m fine,” you reassured her as she glared at the boy in front of you two.

“We get it, you guys hate the drama club but that doesn’t mean you have to injure their club leader too.” She said as both you and Jay stayed silent.

“Jay, dude? We need the ball, focus!” Sangyeon shouted from across the gym but Jay didn’t move.

“Thank you.” You muttered.

“Right, no problem.” He responded awkwardly as his hand hit the basketball again.

He ran back to the court, throwing the ball into play. “My fault, whose ball is it?” He questioned while jogging into place.

“It was ours, idiot!” Sohee exclaimed while chasing after the ball.

“Why’d you even throw it here? There’s nobody there!” He said, standing at the other end of the court.

Jay apologized with an embarrassed smile. “Oh, sorry. That was my fault!”

“Jeez, what’s up with him now?” Sohee mumbled as he picked up the basketball, passing it towards their other teammate, Taehyun.

Instead of focusing on the ball and the match in front of him, his thoughts were clouded with you. So, that’s where he’s heard your name, in his P.E. class.

The only thing is, how come he’s never noticed someone as pretty as you?

Waking up on weekdays felt natural to Jay. It meant he would go through his same old everyday routine; wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast with his family, and then go to school.

But today was different.

His alarm rang like usual, he got out of bed, proceeded with his morning routine, and even made himself a quick breakfast. It was something he did every day, but as said before, today was different.

You wouldn’t leave his mind and it was bothering him.

He ran his fingers through his blue strands as he walked down the halls of Decelis. They had an upcoming game, he couldn’t let you distract him. His schedule for today was busier than usual; he had double basketball practice, a test in English, and a test review first period. It was terrible.

He mentally prepared himself for whatever he was about to go through, hoping that’ll all be over soon.

“Hey,” Jay’s friend greeted.

“Hey, Younghoon.” He’d greet back as Younghoon moved beside him.

“Woah, you look exhausted… Did you sleep at all last night?” Younghoon said, worry laced in his voice.

“I’m fine, I just didn’t get enough as usual,” Jay explained, which wasn’t a lie.

He was bothered by the same constant dream—which was more of a nightmare, to him at least—his arms around you as you stared up at him with eyes filled with adoration. If this wasn’t him going crazy then what was?

“I’m sure you’ll be able to sleep for a bit after the test review in Chem today.”

Jay at his words and nodded with a smile. “Hopefully.” He said, a yawn completing his sentence. He’d stretch out his arms as the two walked to Jay’s locker in a comfortable silence.

His eyes glanced at the freshly taped-up poster that advertised the drama club’s new play. That wasn’t there previously.

“Gross, now they’re using our belongings as canvas space?” A familiar voice said while reaching out for the taped-up paper.

Jay looked behind the door of his locker, eyes slightly widening at the sight before him. K was ripping their poster off of Jay’s locker.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jay began but was interrupted by another voice who finished his sentence for him. The three boys turned their attention toward the girl before them.

“Great,” K muttered. The drama club’s leader was practically everywhere. He couldn’t get away with anything.

You’d approach K, grabbing the now crumpled-up piece of paper in his hand with an unsatisfied look. “Why are you wrecking the properties of others?” You said, earning a scoff from K.

“Why are you ‘claiming’ the properties of others by taping up useless posters?” He retorted with a raised brow as you furrowed yours.

“Fine then.” You’d say as you moved to the nearest trash can, throwing out the balled-up poster.

“If you don’t want us to put things on your lockers, maybe invest in some name tags. Nobody would want to waste their time and remember every irrelevant member of the basketball team’s locker number anyway.” You walked away from the three boys, leaving Jay and Younghoon stunned. Although Jay was supposed to be offended by your words, he was impressed.

K gritted his teeth in annoyance, knowing he couldn’t do anything to you. He looked at Jay with narrowed eyes. “She’s really annoying.” He muttered in pure annoyance as Jay shut his locker.

As much as he wanted to tell K that he was in the wrong, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Instead, he looked at the time on his watch and then back at the friends beside him. “Period one starts in 5 minutes. We should get going.” He’d suggest as the two boys nodded in agreement. All Jay had to do was get through his first two periods and then he could rest during lunch practice.

That’s all he had to do.

Yet that didn’t explain the thrilled feeling he was currently experiencing in his seat. Chemistry never had him feeling thrilled—and never will.

“I repeat,” the student’s voice on the PA system said, catching Jay’s attention.

“Auditions for Decelis’ drama club’s The Wizard of Oz play will begin in a week! Please, sign up on the signup sheet near the school’s entrance.” She’d continue.

“For more information, please ask the drama club members if needed!” The mic was handed over to someone else, causing quite a commotion over the PA system.

“You heard them, sign up now before it’s too late!” Another student said before beginning their own set of announcements.

“Eunchae has a real warming voice.” One of Jay’s classmates complimented her.

“I agree. I understand why she’s always on the PA system.” Another said.

The rest of their conversation went through one of Jay’s ears and out the other. He was too distracted in trying to think of ways to sign up for their auditions secretly. He’d never done this before and never planned on doing so, but it was their last year of high school. He needed to have the so-called high school experience.

He already had enough things to worry about. He still had time to continue this after his whole day of school. Delaying his plan-making wouldn’t hurt.

But they sure did become more difficult. Jay cautiously approached the signup sheet that was located near the school’s entrance, acting as casually as possible. He had only 10 minutes to figure out something before he had to be at the gymnasium for practice.

There was a whole crowd that surrounded the signup sheet which made his attempt to approach impossible. He sighed, trying to peek over the crowd of students who rushed to write their names down on the sheet of paper.

“Hey, Jay!” Ricky exclaimed while swinging an arm over his team captain.

“Hey.” He said, startled by his sudden appearance. Ricky looked ahead of him, grimacing at the sight.

“There’s no way this many people actually like drama… It’s so boring! I hated that class last year.” He whispered.

“Anyways, practice begins in five. How come you’re not early like always?” He’d ask, catching Jay off guard.

5 minutes of him struggling had already gone by within a blink of an eye. “Oh, uh, I was trying but the crowd blocked off my shortcut.” Jay lied, mentally scolding himself for how bad it was.

“No worries, I got you covered.” Ricky winked and clicked his tongue while pointing a finger gun at Jay with his free hand.

The two began to walk towards the gymnasium together as Jay felt his soul leaving his body. He definitely wasn’t going to succeed with signing up today. But he had a week to do so, eventually, he should succeed, right?

Maybe?

“Alright, gather around!” Their coach said while clapping his hands together. The 10 sweaty boys made their way towards their coach, all breathing heavily.

“I know you’re tired, but let’s do a quick practice match.” He suggested, earning disappointed sighs from every single one of them.

“Hey, hey. It’ll be beneficial. Your game is in 2 days, don’t forget.” He said, reminding them all. They nodded and proceeded to split themselves into two teams. Both teams sent their tallest members on both sides to the center for the tip–off.

“First team to score 10 wins.” Said their coach. He’d blow his whistle, throwing the ball up in the air as both team members rushed up to grab it, but eventually, the red team had the ball in possession.

“It’s okay, you’ll get it next time!” Jay reassured Ricky as he jogged back out in the open.

The ball dribbling echoed through the quiet gymnasium that only picked up on the sounds of their shoes squeaking against the polished floors and whistle-blowing.

“Get open!” Heeseung said to his team members as they spread out across the court.

He searched for an open teammate, sending the ball straight to Mark’s hands. He’d take this opportunity to dribble the ball, trying to get free from Ricky’s defence but kept failing. His eyes shifted to K’s free figure as he attempted a bouncing ball pass to only be blocked by Ricky.

Ricky caught the ball once Mark threw it to the ground and began to dribble it once more while sprinting to the opposing team’s key.

“Nice one!” Their coach cheered as Ricky passed the ball to Jake immediately who took the opportunity to shoot a 2-pointer, making it in, flawlessly.

Jake smiled in satisfaction while high-fiving his team members.

“Keep it up, Ricky. That was a good steal.” Heeseung said.

“Woah! Isn’t this cross-teaming?” Jisung was quick to address it in a teasing manner as they all laughed and waved it off.

“Okay, 2 points for the blue team! Red team, inbound.” Their coach instructed as they all followed through. They got into their positions, Jay guarding Heeseung, Eric guarding K, Jake guarding Jisung, and Ricky guarding Mark. Sohee stood outside of the out-of-bounds line while figuring out the many outcomes if he inbounded the basketball to a certain team member.

Eventually, the whistle blew as he threw it to Mark who managed to get free from Ricky’s guarding this time. He dribbled the ball to the other side of the court, stopping when needed. He then proceeded to turn without moving his pivot foot in an attempt to see who was free and who wasn’t.

His plan didn’t go as well as he’d thought it would due to the difference in their heights, causing him to sigh in frustration.

“Dude, I can’t see anything. You’re too tall.” He mumbled, making Ricky chuckle at his sudden confession.

“I get that a lot, actually,” Ricky said back as Mark rolled his eyes and passed the ball to his nearest teammate, Heeseung, who managed to run up towards him, leaving Jay behind.

Jay followed through and immediately began guarding Heeseung, there was no way he’d let his opponents get a point like that.

His eyes focused on the ball in Heeseung’s hand, watching its every movement. It kept a constant routine; dribble, hit Heeseung’s hand, and dribble again.

Jay then looked up at Heeseung, making eye contact with him. Heeseung looked away in search of his teammates as Jay followed his eyes. He’d grit his teeth in frustration, realizing that none of his team members were able to get free.

So, instead of passing the ball around, he went in. He’d dribble the ball while sprinting toward the opposing team’s net, performing a layup shot as Jay jumped up in hopes of blocking him and did so with force.

The ball goes dashing down to the ground, alerting the others who rushed to the ball. Ricky caught the ball, running his fastest to the opposite side of the court while Sohee chased after him. The two rose to the top of the net as Ricky reached up to tip the ball into the net but was abruptly interrupted by the sudden stinging of his wrist.

The whistle blew, gaining their attention as the two landed back onto the court, the ball dribbling away from them.

“Sohee, try to avoid fouling, okay?” Their coach said as Sohee nodded. They were all exhausted, breathing heavily as sweat droplets dribbled down their temples. 3 more points were needed.

Only three and the blue team would win. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?

Gladly, it wasn’t. The boys sighed out of exhaustion while taking their seats on the benches of their changing room.

“Nice play, guys. I’m sure we’ll do even better when we’re on the actual court.” Jay reassured them as they all smiled.

He got up from the bench and headed towards his assigned locker. He was ready to go home, especially after his long day of school. In a hurry, he removed the towel that rested around his neck, followed by his sweat-drenched t-shirt.

He then picked up the towel, dapping away at the sweat droplets that trickled from his jawline to his neck and around his collarbone, releasing a relaxed sigh.

“Yo, Jay,” called Mark as Jay looked over at the said boy.

“Hm?” He hummed, looking away afterwards.

“Are you free after school tomorrow?” Mark asked.

“I believe so. Why?” Jay replied while rummaging through his backpack for his necessities.

“I was wondering if you wanted to study together, then go out and play some video games. It's been a while since we last did so.” Mark explained while putting on his shoes.

"Sure, why not—”

“Which one of you did it?"

ACT THREE.

The sudden commotion made all their heads turn to its location. Most of them sighed and rolled their eyes at the sight as Jay stayed quiet. What was going on?

“Don’t you just love barging into our own private spaces?" K teased, approaching the doorway while buttoning up the last few buttons of his undershirt.

“I wonder if you guys also rehearse these moments in your drama meetings,” he started.

“Well, I mean, you are the club’s leader, right? I’m sure you’d know.” He said, but you remained silent and furious.

You never understand why your club members hated the basketball team in the first place. Yes, they were quite rowdy, but the same day your set pieces were broken, they lost their basketball. Which truly meant they couldn’t have been the cause of the incident, right?

Of course, that's what you believed, but the more you searched for the script for your club’s play, the more you doubted yourself. You felt enraged. There wasn’t anyone else who’d try to sabotage your club except for the basketball team. So you went to ask them for yourself.

You were already in a bad mood and didn’t want to put up with any of K’s antics, but he wasn’t helping. You didn’t care that you were currently facing a group of boys; some were shirtless while others sat on the benches, switching shoes or calming themselves down.

“What is it now?” K asked, resting on a row of lockers.

“Our script for our play is missing. Which one of you took it?” You’d ask again as Jay’s eyes slightly widened.

“Why would we take your club’s script? We have better things to focus on.” K said while crossing his arms.

He was a good liar—quite amazing, actually. Jay was surprised that K was able to lie easily without hesitating when it came to you. Maybe that was Jay’s own problem…

Eric minded his own business and continued to pack things into his backpack. He knew he’d slip up if he were to join in the argument, blowing their cover away.

Jay grabbed his tank top, slipping it on before his undershirt in an attempt to distract himself and drown out the conversation nearby. He gulped nervously and slipped his arms through the designated holes of his undershirt, glancing over at the two who argued.

“Once again, we didn’t steal anything. You guys are always accusing us of this.” K sighed, looking over at Jay, who looked away immediately.

“Right, Jay? We didn’t take anything.” K asked, causing Jay to stiffen.

He looked over at the two, making eye contact with you, then K. He signalled a look to Jay, hoping he understood its meaning. Jay was good at lying and could lie without hesitation, but how come he couldn’t do it with you?

“Yeah, we didn’t.” He managed to let out after hesitating many times before. Normally, after he told a lie, he didn’t feel any sort of way. He always found them as a way to save himself in certain situations, but he felt tremendously guilty telling a lie to you.

The two of you only exchanged a few words and a few moments of eye contact with each other, yet he felt like he was committing a crime. It was weird and confusing to him, at least.

“See, even proof from our captain. If that’s all you need, please shoo—or whatever you drama freaks say during your plays.” K said while pushing himself off the lockers and heading towards his backpack. You looked around the changing room, making eye contact with Jay once more, before leaving, still as enraged as when you first arrived.

Once you were out of the gymnasium, Jay rushed over to K with no hesitation.

“Dude? You know you took the script, so why did you lie?” He asked as K looked up at him.

“What do you mean, I took the script? You were with Eric and I, so it wasn’t only my doing.” He said back, making Jay frustrated.

He was so frustrated over nothing.

The other boys in the changing room turned their heads to look at where the voices were coming from.

“I tried to say no, but you guys made me go either way. I knew we’d get caught, yet you both insisted on doing so.” Jay’s words caused K’s eyebrows to rise slightly.

“Why the fuck are you so mad? You’re acting as if this is anything new. Plus, I’m not even the only one who lied, you did too.” He said, still confused as to why Jay was so mad, but began getting a little irritated at Jay’s sudden anger.

“Because you made me! Why would you put me in a spot like that in the first place? Like you said before, it wasn’t just me who was with you. Eric was there too, and still, you only called on me?” Jay asked while pointing at Eric and then at K.

K furrowed his brows. Jay was practically arguing with him for no reason, and it wasn’t making K feel any calmer.

“Bro, did someone piss in your cereal this morning or something? Why are you so mad over a simple incident that happens almost all the time?" K asked, as mad as Jay.

K stared into Jay’s eyes as he remained silent. Ricky took out an earbud, looking up at the sight of his team captain and one of their star players staring at each other in rage. He looked around the room, noticing that nobody said anything as all eyes were on the two from earlier.

“Woah, Jay, what’s up with you today?” Ricky asked while walking over to the two arguing boys. Jay was never one to pick arguments with friends, teammates, opponents, teachers, you name it. So, seeing this was not a regular sight.

Jay ignored Ricky, walked back to his locker to grab his belongings, and left the changing room while pushing past Ricky and K.

“What’s up with him? It’s almost like he’s against us and stands with the drama club.” K said while calming down.

“I doubt it,” Sohee said while tying his laces.

“It probably was pent-up stress from everything he had going on today. His schedule was pretty packed, so…” Heeseung added as the other boys nodded in agreement.

“Probably,” K said under his breath.

Even Jay hoped that was the reason. Ever since he laid eyes on you, he’s seen you practically everywhere; in the halls, the school’s garden, his dreams at night, during the day, and much more. At this rate, he couldn’t escape you at all.

As he made his way to the school entrance, the signup sheet caught his attention. School was out, and there was no one but his team members and you in the school. It wouldn’t hurt to at least attempt signing up before it was too late, right?

He approached the sign-up sheet while looking around the empty halls for any bystanders. There were already names written down on the sheet, and space was almost gone. He picked up the pen, going in to write his name in a tiny font, but was then startled by a distressed scream.

The scream didn’t scare Jay. What scared Jay was the fact that he was almost caught. He backed away from the signup sheet and looked down the hallway, revealing an angry you in the process. You looked up from your shoes, making eye contact with him as you glared.

He looked away, unsure of what to do or say, and speed-walked out of the school doors. There was no way their club leader, who was already mad enough, was going to catch Jay doing the unthinkable.

You rolled your eyes and made your way back to the clubroom to clean up the mess you made in search of the script. What were you going to tell your club members? You were supposed to proofread it today. Everything was planned, but the script suddenly missing ruined it all.

You’d sigh while running your fingers through your hair in frustration. Maybe you misplaced it somewhere, and maybe the basketball team was just misunderstood. It couldn’t be that hard to find.

You pulled out your phone and opened your reminders app. “Make an announcement about the missing script,” you mumbled as you typed away at your phone’s keyboard. You turned off your phone, slipping it back into your blazer’s pocket.

Hopefully, you can sleep this stress away.

Jay woke up in a sweat. His heart was racing as ragged breaths exited his lips. He sat up in an attempt to calm his breathing and racing heart. He’d glance at the bright light his phone emitted due to a new notification. The clock read 6:02 AM, way earlier than he normally wakes up.

He rubbed his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep after that ‘dream’ of his. He got out of bed, slipped into his slippers, and approached the door to his bathroom. It was still quite dark outside, which felt off.

Normally, Jay would be awake by 7:40 AM, around the time the sun would rise. He also rarely had nightmares, but last night was weird. He doesn’t know why he even considered this a nightmare. You two weren’t even close, yet seeing you fall for someone else scared him.

He felt jealous even when he had no reason to feel so. The bathroom light was brighter than usual, causing his eyes to have a harder time adjusting to the sudden brightness. He squinted while looking at himself in the mirror.

He sure looked like a mess.

He picked up his toothbrush, followed by his toothpaste, and squeezed a bit onto the rough bristles. He’d place his toothbrush in his mouth with a sigh as he continued to stare at himself through the mirror.

What has gotten into him? Even throughout his crushes at the start of his high school years, he didn’t feel like this at all. He’s only laid eyes on you a few times and barely exchanged words with you to be able to develop a crush. So, what were all these dreams—and nightmares—all about? He spat into the sink, staring at the running faucet as his grip tightened on the edge of the sink.

Maybe shooting some hoops would get his mind off of this, which explains why he was at school an hour earlier than usual.

He slipped off his backpack, placed it beside the net pole, and went to crack open a window to get rid of the humid feeling. He then grabbed the nearest basketball in the process. He made his way towards the free-throw line, dribbling the basketball on his way there.

Once he arrived, he spun the ball in his hands to get a better grip and focused his attention on the net before him. He positioned his arms, getting comfortable with the ball and the distance between him and the basketball hoop.

Suddenly, as he let the ball slip from his fingertips, his thoughts became filled with you. The sound of the basketball ricocheting off of the net’s rim brought him back to reality. For some reason, he couldn’t escape you.

Luckily, the ball made its way back to Jay’s feet, making his job way easier. He picked up the ball, discarding the thoughts from earlier as he prepared to shoot again. This time, he dribbled the ball a few times before letting it slip from his grip.

He watched as the ball bounced off the backboard and back into his hands. Usually, he doesn’t miss his shots like this, even if his mind is filled with many distracting things. Immediately after catching the ball, he let it loose again, missing completely.

Again, he immediately shot the ball after picking it up, but of course, he missed. And again, and again, and again, and again… He even tried doing different types of shots; a layup, a three-pointer, another free throw, a 1-pointer, and missed every single one of them.

He paused, holding the ball in his hands. He was exhausted. Panting from all the previous shots he attempted to only end up missing every 14 throws. He took a seat, sighing in disappointment. He was frustrated, very frustrated.

He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket, checking the time in the process. Only 20 minutes had gone by since he first arrived at the school’s gym meaning he had another 40 minutes to pass.

Well, that would be hard. He might as well try practicing again.

In all honesty, you didn’t mean to arrive at school this early. You woke up, panicking. Your alarm didn’t go off, and the clock on your wall read 8:05 AM. You were late—very late.

Or so you thought.

Once you hopped onto the bus, wondering if it could drive any faster, you pulled out your phone, checking the time once more, only to be disappointed.

It was 7:20 AM, not 8:20 AM. Screw you for not checking your phone when you first woke up.

You sighed and facepalmed in an attempt to contain your frustration. As the bus pulled up to your stop, you mentally scolded yourself while walking off, after thanking the bus driver, of course. In your defence, you were too busy worrying about the missing script for your club, distracting yourself from taking care of your own mind.

The more you thought about the script incident, the more you began to feel bad for your outburst on the basketball team. Your grip tightened on the straps of your backpack as you walked down the school’s halls in silence.

You had no clue where your feet were taking you, but with every step, you finally reached the gym doors. You hesitated. What if they weren’t in there? There could be a possibility that they had a morning practice, but there was a high chance they wouldn’t want to see you even more after yesterday’s incident.

You were ready to walk away, but your feet weren’t. You looked down at your shoes, waiting for one of them to take the first steps, because, for some reason, you couldn’t do it on your own. The sound of a basketball bouncing off the polished wooden floors echoed on your side of the door. You looked over at the blue doors in silence, debating if you should take the chance.

Suddenly, one thing happened and then another, leaving your mind confused. Your mind had no time to register what was happening, leaving your body to move on its own.

The sound of the basketball bouncing off the gym floor came to a stop as you realized what had just happened; you opened the doors to the gym without your knowledge.

You stared at the person who stood in the middle of the court, trying to pinpoint who it was. It was dark in the gymnasium, the only light being the rising sun that slightly seeped through the blocked windows.

ACT FOUR.

Jay looked at the entrance, just as confused as they were. He had no clue who was standing at the entrance and couldn’t see much due to the limited access to lighting.

“I…” You mumbled, removing your hand from the doorknob immediately.

“I, um, I’m sorry if I interrupted something.” You said, looking away.

“No, it’s fine…” Jay replied, clearly out of breath.

You looked back, genuinely curious to find out who it was and why they were alone, unaware that you were approaching the court. Their voice sounded familiar to you. It was as if you heard it quite a lot throughout an average school day.

“Did you need something?” Jay asked, dribbling the ball as they got closer to him.

“Not really,” you said as you began to walk around the court, trying your best to avoid the person before you.

He repositioned the ball in his hold, throwing it into the hoop once more.

“You seem like you do,” Jay said, causing their brows to furrow.

“How? You can’t even see me.” You joked, earning a small laugh from them.

“You know what I meant,” Jay replied, holding a smile while making his way to the rolling basketball. You two became silent; the only sound that filled the gymnasium was their shoes rubbing against the floor with the bouncing basketball noises to back it up.

You fiddled with your fingers as you watched their silhouette run up to the net, letting the ball roll off their fingers as it found its way into the hoop. Although you couldn’t see much, you were still impressed. The sunlight that seeped through the blinds shined on their features, flashing the vibrant blue hair colour and their fit build.

From this observation, you couldn’t hold back the question that slipped through your lips, “Do you play basketball?” You asked as they stopped moving.

“Yeah, I came early to shoot some hoops. I had to get my mind off of things.” Jay replied, dribbling the ball as he approached the three-point line.

He was satisfied with the shot he just took—he finally made it in. After the last 30 minutes he was there for, he finally got one of his many shots in. He smiled as he looked up from the line and turned around.

He faced the net, positioning the ball in his hands, hoping that whatever miracle happened a moment ago would happen again.

You watched from the bleachers, taking in every detail of their movements; they bent their knees and moved their arms as well as the ball in the process, eyes were focused on the net’s backboard, arms pulled back slightly, and suddenly, the ball was in the air.

The ball successfully went inside the hoop another time, and you began to clap in excitement. They turned around with what you hoped was a smile (and was) as you returned it. A sudden breeze from the slightly cracked opened window blew the blinds around, revealing the sunlight that was previously seeping through them as it shined on both of you.

“I’m sorry.” You blurted after realizing who you were speaking to. The leader of the basketball team—the main reason you came here.

The ball rolled to his feet as he stared back at you with wide eyes.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“I’m sorry. That’s what I originally came here for—to apologize.” You explained. You looked around and then checked the time on your phone.

“I have to go prepare for the club today, but I’m sorry for yesterday’s outburst.” You said, grabbing your stuff to leave.

Jay stood in silence, the ball still at his feet, and you were now gone. He was unsure as to what you were apologizing for but didn’t ask many questions. Yesterday’s outburst… That was all he needed to know.

He picked up the basketball, threw it into the hoop, and of course, it didn’t go in.

Why?

Because you still haven’t left his mind.

ACT FIVE.

Jay stared at the locker before him. It read the number 734.

K’s locker.

He gulped nervously, wondering if he’d regret doing this later.

If he got caught, would that continue to ruin the relationship between him and his teammates, or would doing this be beneficial and help him get into The Wizard of Oz?

Maybe the first option.

He looked around the empty halls, double-checking that he was alone. He gripped the hall pass in his left hand as he reached out for the lock with his right. He had to hurry. The excuse of ‘using the bathroom’ wouldn’t work for long until others started to think he had the runs.

Honestly, he didn’t know why he cared so much about your club. Yes, he liked drama, but he never cared for the club, mainly before he found out about their club leader—you.

Jay turned the wheel on the lock, following the same pattern K executed when unlocking his locker; pass 0 three times, then turn the wheel to your first number, 16. Spin counter-clockwise, passing the previous number twice, and arrive at your next number, 34. Lastly, turn the wheel to your final number, 4, and yank on the lock with the hope that you made no mistakes.

The code had all even numbers, and as weird as it was, the code suited K very well. On the court, he was very persistent and strategic, his plans always included all the teammates since all the roles evened out perfectly.

Jay opened the locker, scanning the hallways once more before reaching for in what he came here for, the play script. He shut the locker, and a loud slam echoed through the empty hallways, startling Jay at the same time.

Either he was just really nervous or the locker was truly loud.

He held the script close to his chest, letting his feet take him wherever. His plan only focused on retrieving the script, not what came after. Suddenly, he stood in front of the Drama clubroom, a wave of nostalgia washing over him.

He crouched down, unsure of what he should do next. Should he slip the script from underneath or between the cracks of the door? Jay looked at the thickness of the script and shook his head. There was no way it’d fit in between.

So, he went with plan A, slipping it from underneath the door. He used his index fingers to slip the script in slowly, hoping it wouldn’t disturb anyone on the other side—not that he wanted anyone there. He’d hate that.

He was so focused on being quiet that he didn’t take note of the footsteps behind him.

“Park Jongseong.” The voice was deep and very familiar. A hall monitor—Seungcheol. He was the only person who called Jay by his government name, the one on his student files. Jay froze in panic and slowly turned around.

“Hey…” He greeted, cautiously. Luckily for him, Seungcheol stood quite far from his spot on the ground. Jay rose, hiding the script behind him.

“What are you doing out of class?” He asked, searching his hidden hands for a hall pass.

“I was excused,” Jay began but paused.

“For?” Seungcheol asked, but Jay remained silent. His mouth opened and closed, like a fish out of water, as he thought of his next words. He couldn’t lie and say he was excused to use the bathroom, right? How would that explain why he was currently standing in front of the Drama clubroom anyway?

He stared at Seungcheol as Seungcheol stared back. “Jongseong, what are you doing out of class?” He asked once again, but Jay still didn’t have an answer. How could he lie in a situation like this?

Yes, he was good at lying, but not under pressure.

In silence, Jay’s eyes shifted over to a spot behind Seungcheol.

“What is that?” He asked with genuinely concerned eyes. Seungcheol turned around, worried, while Jay took it as a sign to proceed with his plan.

He let go of the script, letting it fall to the floor and kicked it with his heel, causing it to slide under the door completely from the impact. Perfect.

“What are we looking at?” Seungcheol asked, turning around to face Jay who smiled at him.

“Ah, I must’ve been mistaken.” He apologized, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I’m sorry.” He added, completing the apology. “I should head back to class now, shouldn’t I?” Jay said to a confused Seungcheol.

“See you later.” Jay waved goodbye, walking past the hall monitor and in the opposite direction his class was located.

Seungcheol was suspicious of him, but there wasn’t much he could do. He was aware of Jay’s reputation as the boys’ basketball team leader. But he was also aware of the rivalry between the team and the Drama club.

Maybe he shouldn’t question much of it, right?

Seungcheol sighed and rubbed at his temples in an attempt to soothe away these useless thoughts, which, spoiler alert, did work.

Jay quickly turned into a random corridor in the hallway he walked in, exhaling a heavy breath. One he held in and wasn’t aware of. His hand rested on the wall beside him as his eyes closed. Why was he nervous? He never was when lying.

It was scary knowing how much of an effect you had on him.

“Excuse me.” A voice called. He opened one of his eyes, glancing at the figure before him, and flinched once he recognized them. He straightened up immediately and cleared his throat. He stared into their eyes as they stared back into his eyes in silence.

“You’re in my way…” You said, hoping that would help his clueless self.

“Oh, right.” He blurted and moved out of your way. Before leaving, you gave him an awkward smile, still not over this morning’s incident.

Both of you weren’t. It wasn’t something to worry about too, but for some reason, you both did. It was weird.

Jay’s thoughts were clouded with the conversations from this morning. If only he had known you were the one talking to him, just maybe he would’ve purposely tried harder on his shots. And if you were lucky enough, you could’ve seen his trick shots. But instead, he held back. It was only a warmup, after all.

“Jay,” you called, making his stomach twist and turn. Why did your voice saying his name have such an effect on him? He had no clue either.

“Jay.” You called again, turning around to stare at him.

Either he was dreaming or going crazy, there was no way you’d say his name a second time while staring into his eyes. What was going to happen next? Perhaps something more?

“Could you let go?” You asked, shaking your hand to avert his attention from the movement.

“Oh,” Jay whispered.

Oh.

Jay let go of your hand, looking away while doing so. He was embarrassed. Very embarrassed. He glanced at you for a split moment, catching the same awkward smile you sent him before.

Great, he embarrassed himself badly.

You walked away, continuing your route from before, leaving Jay behind. Once you were out of his sight, he gripped at his scalp, pulling at his blue strands. Why did he do that? He had no clue. He wasn’t even aware of his sudden action.

Was it because of his so-called nightmare from last night? None of this made sense.

Especially the way Jay’s heart raced while butterflies danced in his stomach.

What the hell was happening to him?

“Is he okay?” Sohee asked from the other side of the court.

“I have no clue,” Mark replied, staring at their team captain alongside Sohee.

“Our game is tomorrow, how the hell is he going to play in this condition?” K exclaimed to the two boys.

“Hey, Jay!” K shouted, heading the boy's way. Mark and Sohee’s eyes widened at the sight, already imagining what would go down.

The two argued only a day ago and never made up—or at least that’s what their teammates thought—this would only escalate to something worse than the locker room incident.

Mark and Sohee ran after K in hopes of stopping him, but instead, K pushed them off of him. They failed miserably.

Jay looked up at K in silence. His fingers pinched at the palm of his right hand out of habit. His mind was elsewhere, not focused on the practice he attended.

He missed all his practice shots and game shots, constantly fouled, and played terribly overall. It was hard to watch.

“What’s wrong with you today—fuck that, what’s wrong with you lately?” K asked, staring down at Jay.

“What are you on about?” Jay asked cluelessly.

He knew exactly what K was referring to. But he couldn’t answer because he had no clue himself. His mind was so full of you that he couldn’t even comprehend what their coach was explaining today.

“What am I on about? Dude, you’re missing all your shots, fouling us like crazy, and even tripping over the ball! This is basketball, not soccer!” K explained, his anger slowly getting to him. He was frustrated.

Very frustrated.

“I don’t know either,” Jay said. He wasn’t lying, it was the full truth.

“Well, figure it out and straighten up. Our game is tomorrow, we can’t lose the second last game of the season.” K warned in a stern tone. It was almost as if he was the team leader instead of Jay.

“I’ll try,” Jay mumbled, turning away to the locker room. “You’ll try?” K asked, even more frustrated at his response.

“How are you going to try on the court if you can’t even try at practice?!” K exclaimed.

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out,” Jay said with a sigh. He was tired, so tired. He went through enough today, and dealing with K’s frustration wasn’t on his to-do list.

He walked away, making his way to the locker room. K’s footsteps approached him from behind. They were harsh and loud. Every single one almost sounded like a full stop in a sentence.

“Hey!” K shouted, forcefully turning Jay around by his shoulder. They stared into each other’s eyes, K searching Jay’s for whatever he yearned for while Jay just stared.

He wasn’t looking for anything, all of K’s emotions were prominent on their own; anger, frustration, and a hint of sadness.

“You’ve been acting weird lately. First, you get all defensive about the script stealing, then you get all mad that we lied to Y/N about stealing the script.” K paused.

“Are you betraying us right now?” He asked, causing Jay’s brows to furrow. At this point, all eyes were on them. Their coach went to grab some cleaning supplies for the basketballs from his office but hasn’t returned since. He always misses arguments.

“Betraying you?” Jay was confused. “What does any of that have to do with me ‘betraying’ you guys?” Jay asked the boy in front of him.

“Why do you care for the Drama club so much? You’re aware of our hatred for them, aren’t you?” K’s words hit like an arrow.

“Jay, be honest, have you ever hated them?” K asked, causing Jay to stiffen. It was obvious he stiffened, even K noticed it. K scoffed at the sight, looking away for a moment.

“You can’t be serious. Those stuck-up brats blamed us for something we didn’t even do, yet you’re fine with them?” K said, and Jay opened his mouth to reply but was silenced by K’s voice.

"Kazuha, that annoying little girl and Y/N’s snotty little attitude—”

“Her attitude isn’t snotty.” Jay sternly interrupted K’s sentence.

“Why should you care if it is or not? She and her minions know how to do nothing but accuse and insult.” K insulted, rolling his eyes at the memories.

“They’re terrible people, especially Jungwon and Y/N—”

Jay’s hand bunched up K’s collar, silencing him immediately. K was shocked by Jay’s sudden movements but regained his composure soon after.

The two stared into each other’s eyes again, Jay’s showcasing his anger as K’s did the same. Eric rushed over before things could escalate, forcing Jay’s hand off of K’s collar.

“You need to chill out. Honestly, I don’t know what has gotten into you or what you’re going through right now, but please, talk it out with someone. Or even better, talk it out with us.” Eric suggested, but Jay ignored him and walked off into the locker room as K fixed his top.

K’s eyes narrowed while his brows furrowed. He hated the look in Jay’s eyes just now. It was something he had never seen before.

Truly, what the hell was wrong with him? Jay still couldn’t answer.

ACT SIX.

The sound of the tap water running echoed throughout Jay’s washroom. He stood there in silence, watching how it pooled up in the sink and then disappeared as his grip tightened on the ledge.

“Mom says if you’re going to use the water, use it. It’s been running for the last 20 minutes. It can’t possibly take you that long to wash up.” A knock and a voice emitted from the doorway, causing Jay to look over, revealing the sight of his younger sister, Songyee.

“Okay,” Jay said, turning off the tap water as Songyee left. He grabbed a towel nearby to dry his drenched face, water droplets dripping down from his chin and onto the marble counters.

The footsteps on the staircase caught his attention as he looked over at the door once more. “Songyee!” He exclaimed, calling her back to the washroom. She sighed and made her way over, resting on the doorframe once she arrived.

“What?” She asked, waiting for Jay to speak.

“Would you do something your friends wouldn’t be happy with?” He asked, hoping she would give a proper answer, but instead, her brows furrowed. She relaxed after a few moments of silence and crossed her arms.

“Depends,” she said, her words slipping out as a sigh. Jay looked at her, confused, waiting for her to elaborate.

Depends? That was not what he wanted to hear.

“I would, of course, tell them. They should be mad after you tell them, instead of them being mad after finding out you kept it a secret.” She emphasized, causing Jay to pause his movements.

He brought the towel away from his face and stared at himself in the mirror. His sister’s words replayed in his head, with a bigger emphasis on the word secret. He was good at keeping secrets. Maybe that was a problem.

“Songyee,” he started as she hummed in response.

“What if I quit the team?” He asked, his words startling her.

“Are you crazy?! Jongseong, this is literally an opportunity for your scholarship. It’s an easier way out than Mom and Dad paying for your tuition fee.” She shouted while Jay hung up the towel again, slightly tensing at the use of his government name.

“There’s two more games and the season’s done. All you have to do is win them both. Why are you thinking about this? What has gotten into you?” She asked, genuinely concerned.

“I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know!” He said in a harsh tone. Songyee was taken aback by his sudden harsh tone. What did she say to trigger something within him?

“Everyone keeps asking me the same question. How am I supposed to answer if I don’t know myself?” He asked with the same harsh tone, looking straight at her.

His eyes stared into her wide ones as he came back to his senses. He cursed under his breath, looking away.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” He added, running his fingers through his blue strands.

“It’s okay,” Songyee whispered. “Sleep well, okay? Whatever you’re stressing over, don’t think about it too much. Take my advice when you can.” She said, followed by a quiet goodnight, and left the doorway.

Jay was tired. He was tired of how he reacted to K’s words, your presence, and his sister’s question. He had a game tomorrow, that’s truly all he had to focus on.

The second last game of the season. All he had to do was quickly sign up for the play and rush over to the gymnasium to prepare for his game.

Easy, right?

He turned off the bathroom light and headed to his room. He could finalize his plan in the morning because he was too tired to think logically right now. He turned off the lights in his bedroom and made his way to his bed.

His eyes fell shut as he drifted off to dreamland. Hopefully, he can have a good rest.

His alarm woke him up, the bright light read 6:45 AM. He rubbed his eyes while turning it off. You could say he had a somewhat good sleep.

The whole time, while Jay got ready, he recited his plan; arrive at school on time, during lunch he’ll sign up for the play and take note of the audition day, then head to his basketball match after school. Those were only the main points of his day, even if attending class was always included in his plans, it was never mentioned.

He got off the bus after thanking the driver and walked towards the entrance of Decelis.

If he was being honest, there was a slight awkward tension between him and Songyee during breakfast, but he didn’t pay much attention to it as she did the same, focusing on eating their meal.

He adjusted the straps of his backpack, blending in with the many other students who walked into the school. His eyes glanced at the pillar the audition sheet hung on, smiling. His plan would definitely work.

He’d look back in front of him, pausing abruptly. “Oh, sorry,” he apologized at the sudden collision.

“It’s okay,” you replied, causing Jay’s eyes to widen.

“Also, I apologize to your team once again. We found the play script, I guess someone returned it.” You said, smiling at the memory.

“Other than that, good luck on your game today.” Your smile grew as you waved at him and walked away.

To be honest, his heart was racing. He had no clue why. You were just doing the bare minimum, yet he was going crazy. He shook his head, inhaling and exhaling to calm his racing heart.

In the process, he looked down the crowded halls, making eye contact with a familiar boy, K. Usually, they’d be alongside him while walking down the hallways, but their group chat was quiet all evening and morning. They couldn’t plan their daily meetup in this condition.

K rested his back on his locker with his backpack swung over one shoulder—his signature look. Eric’s lips moved while staring at K. He was most likely rambling about an incident in the video game he played the night before. It was something he did often. The morning wouldn’t feel complete if he didn’t.

K rolled his eyes, scoffing, once Jay looked over at the two.

“Let’s go,” K said as Eric nodded, confused, but didn’t think much about it. He continued rambling about the video game as they made their way to class.

Jay sighed, regretting yesterday’s argument. It was obvious K was still mad at him for it. Was Jay really betraying his teammates over a play? He had no clue.

He shrugged it off, making his way to his first-period class that he shared with the two boys. English. Good luck to him, for sure.

Throughout all of his morning classes, Jay anxiously bounced his leg. He was impatient, wanting lunch to arrive faster.

English was quite awkward, mainly due to the seating plans; K sat behind Jay, who sat in the middle, and Eric sat in front of him. It was something they begged their teacher to do so they could talk whenever, but today wasn’t the case.

Eric even got up from his seat, sitting beside K, to chat with him and him alone. There were even moments when K would call Eric’s name from behind Jay, causing them to talk with Jay sitting in the middle.

It was very awkward, but he managed to deal with it for a whole hour and 15 minutes.

He waited until the end of lunch so the hallways could clear up a bit more before cautiously making his way to the signup sheet. He threw on his hood from the hoodie under his blazer, tying the strings to shield his blue hair.

Nobody could notice him at this rate.

He slowly reached out for the pen that hung on a thread, ready to write his name as small as possible in the corner.

“Jay?” Someone called from behind him as he stiffened. Their voice sounded too familiar.

Fuck. This wasn’t supposed to happen. How did they even recognize him with his hood like this?

“Oh, it is you.” Their voice said, their head peeking around his shoulder. Jay looked away, quickly dropping his hand to his side.

“What are you doing here?” They asked, but Jay stayed silent. What the hell was he supposed to say?

“I was just wondering who signed up…” He whispered, still loud enough for them to hear.

“Why? Doesn’t your team hate us?” They asked.

Us?

“Don’t tell me they sent you here to scribble all over the names or something.” Their tone was quite harsh as Jay shook his head. He turned his head to look at the person beside him, regretting his choice immediately.

It was you. No wonder your voice sounded familiar to him.

“Then what are you doing here?” You asked.

“I said I was just wondering who signed up.”

You hummed in response, reaching out your arms to the list of names. Jay backed up slightly, giving you more space.

“Wait, how did you even know it was me?” He asked, words coming out of his mouth without him knowing.

“Your blazer has your initials on it on the back... The whole basketball team has that feature, did you forget?” You said while skimming through the list of names.

Right, he did. He removed his hood, embarrassed.

The disguise was useless. She still could’ve thought he was Jisung, but that wouldn’t have worked. They purposely made Jay’s blazer read ‘PJY’ so they could tell each other apart.

Jay sighed, ruffling his messy hair with his hand. The bell went, catching both of your attention.

“Oh. I gotta go.” You said, waving goodbye at him as he did the same. He walked away from the pillar, heading to his next class.

His plan failed, but there was still another chance after school. Yes, it’ll mess up the plan he made this morning, but it should work.

Hopefully.

It was 2:45 PM. Jay was finally excused from class for his game in the gymnasium, but that’s not where he headed. He rushed over to the pillar upfront, hoping that the signup sheet was still there. It should be.

He watched you place it back before leaving, right? Or was that a hallucination? He couldn’t remember.

Once he arrived, his questions were answered. It was definitely a hallucination because the list of names wasn’t there.

Shit, what should he do? Either he headed to the gymnasium for his warmup and was on time, or he rushed over to the auditorium with the hope he could still participate.

Of course, he went with the second option. The school’s gymnasium was the last place he wanted to be. He rushed over to the auditorium, his duffel bag moving with his rushed footsteps. He pushed open the doors, walking through the hallway.

It was quiet. Too quiet. How late was he?

He caught his breath, scanning the auditorium for any signs.

“What are you doing here?” Jay turned around at the sound of a voice. Nakamura Kazuha, but this time she was disgusted.

“Are you here to sabotage our auditions now? Too bad, you’re too late.” She said, her words hitting Jay like a bullet.

Does he know how that feels? Nope, but it was a good word to use.

“Leave him alone, Zuha.” Another voice spoke, causing the two to face the entrance as you walked in.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Jay in a much nicer tone, a smile making its way to your face.

His face felt warm as the butterflies in his stomach moved to the beat of his heart—fast.

“Are you here to audition?” You asked as Kazuha’s eyes widened.

“Don’t you dare say yes, you fool—"

“Zuha.” You sternly called her name, silencing her.

“Well,” Jay started. This was his only chance, he couldn’t miss out on it. If he chickened out on admitting his true feelings once again, he knew he would regret it the moment he went home.

You never know what could happen after he admitted his true emotions. The words that were normally caught in his throat making it almost impossible to breathe finally escaped his lips.

"Yeah," Jay said, straightening up.

The heavy weight on his shoulders was lifted as Kazuha’s eyes widened, and yours did too, but you regained your composure quickly.

“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that. But auditions are over.” You explained, searching Jay’s eyes for any change in emotion.

Was he being genuine, or was this a dare from his teammates?

“Oh,” Jay mumbled.

Great. His plan was ruined, and he was going to be late for his game.

Was God ever on his side at this point?

He gave the two girls a slight smile, saying his goodbyes.

"Good luck on your game,” you whispered, and he nodded. He left the auditorium, checking his watch while doing so.

It was 2:55 PM. Their game started at 3:00 PM. His teammates would definitely be mad at him. He rushed over to the gymnasium, out of breath once again. He was lucky the auditorium and gymnasium were near each other, leaving him with 3 minutes to change.

He didn’t even get to warm up.

He rushed into the locker room, being met with his angered teammates, especially K.

“Where were you? Weren’t you excused at 2:45 PM? Why didn’t you come here like everyone else?” K asked, following Jay to his locker.

“I’m sorry,” Jay apologized, placing his duffel bag on the bench in front of his locker. He removed his shirt, throwing it into his locker while rummaging around in his bag for his uniform.

“The fuck is an apology going to do? There’s 2 minutes left until our game starts. Hell, it would’ve been worse if everyone had to wait even longer for you.” K said as Jay slipped on his jersey.

Luckily for him, he wore his shorts underneath his uniform pants, slipping them off in haste.

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? Stop complaining,” Jay replied, annoyed at K’s words.

“You’re a terrible leader.” K spat, walking out of the locker room and pushing past the teammates who blocked the doorway, leaving the awkward and intense atmosphere behind.

He made his way to the team’s bench, taking his seat immediately.

“Is Jay here?” Their coach asked K.

“That asshole excuse of a leader? Yeah, he is.” K insulted, eyes still on the court.

“Watch your mouth.” Their coach warned as K rolled his eyes.

Right now, he didn’t care how harsh his words might’ve been. It felt like Jay was neglecting the team even while being their leader. He should be someone the team could rely on, and he was. But recently, he wasn’t. The team was all over the place, it was obvious they weren’t ready for today’s game.

The rest of the team members made their way out of the locker room, joining K on the bench.

“Starters for today’s match are K, Jay, Heeseung, Mark, and Eric.” Their coach explained, flipping through the sheets in his hand.

“You all know your positions, right?”

The group of boys nodded, some stretching in the process.

“Okay, go out there. Play hard.” He said with a smile.

The five boys made their way onto the court, taking their places, with K in the center like always.

“Focus,” K said to everyone, turning his head to Jay, who stood beside him.

“Especially you.” He said, glaring at him.

That was Jay’s line. He usually told the team to focus, then turned his head at one of their teammates, saying those exact words in a teasing manner. But the only difference with K’s words was that he wasn’t teasing Jay.

He was being serious.

As much as Jay wanted to respond to his words, he kept quiet, looking away from K.

“One member from each time, please step forward for tip-off.” One of the referees said, holding a ball with his unstretched arm in the middle of the court. K made his way to the center, meeting the opposing team member who was sent for tip-off as well.

They both glared at each other, getting into their defensive positions. The referee stretched his arm up, catching K and the opponent’s attention as they both looked up. He blew his whistle, throwing up the ball as the two boys jumped up towards it.

K tipped it over towards his teammates as Mark went after the ball. He dribbled, scoping the scenery while his guard made his way over. He’d pass the ball over to Heeseung, who ran across the court to the opposing team’s net.

Heeseung paused after catching the ball, shooting it into the net, and of course, he made it in, erupting cheers from the crowd.

2 down, and many more to go.

ACT SEVEN.

It’s honestly been a while since the match started. Decelis was doing great at the beginning until Jay touched the ball.

As much as it hurt to admit, he was ruining the momentum of the team. He fumbled with his dribbles, making it easier to steal the ball from him, missed his shots terribly, and even threw the ball at the referee.

He was embarrassing himself so badly.

The whistle blew, catching the players' attention. Jay was out of breath, using the bottom of his jersey to dab at the sweat line on his forehead.

“Time,” their coach said, calling the boys over.

“Dude, can you focus?” K said, walking beside Jay.

“I’m focusing,” Jay replied, lying straight through his teeth.

He’s been seeing you too much lately. You two were on proper terms to at least talk with each other, but that was worse for Jay.

Whatever he was feeling only got worse.

“You and I both know you’re not,” K said as they reached the team bench. Jay picked up a clean, folded towel, using it to dab at the rest of his sweat.

“What’s up with you and the Drama club leader?” K asked, wanting an answer.

“Nothing is going on between us,” Jay said, hesitating for a few moments.

“Yeah right,” K scoffed, looking away.

“Stop arguing.” Their coach said as the two stopped talking.

“Jay, I don't think you’re in a good condition to play.” He said, gaining Jay’s attention.

Those on the bench and those around him knew what was coming next, yet they were still shocked. They couldn’t believe their team leader and one of their star players were about to go through this.

“I’m sitting you out for the rest of the match.” He said, causing Jay’s eyes to widen.

“What?” He asked, confused. Genuinely confused.

“You’re messing up the team’s chemistry. We can’t have that happening right now.” Their coach explained and turned to call over the referee.

He explained to the referee that he was subbing out #1, Jay, for #19, Jisung. Switching out one PJ for another PJ.

What a classic move.

If the school’s newspaper club saw this, he only wondered what their headline would be; Decelis boys basketball team leader Park Jay, who’s also known as one of their star players, was benched during the second last game of the season?

He’d take that to his grave.

Jay took his seat on the bench in shame. This may be for the better. Who knows? Hell, he did.

Watching the team play without him was something he hated. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, they were doing way better with Jisung.

There was no awkward tension between the members, they all got along while smiling if someone stole some points and comforting each other if one of them made a mistake.

Just by the looks of it, this was definitely for the better. Maybe he was right. Maybe the team is better without him.

They don’t need a silly little captain like him to lead them around to do well, it was obvious they were good on their own.

What if his thought from last night was more than a thought? What if it was the truth? Should he really quit the team for the better? They probably all hated him at this point, especially K.

Someone who used to always be by his side hated the thought of having to stand in the same room as him—Jay’s words, not K’s.

His eyes became a light shade of red, he wanted to cry. Could he cry? Of course not, that was too embarrassing, especially with how many people were near him at the moment.

However, he did it. Warm tears fell onto his hand, which rested on his knee. He was good at holding them in for the whole week, so why did he fail to do so just now?

How come something so stupid like this happened to be what triggered his tears? Why didn’t any of the arguments with K do anything either?

It was so obvious that he had no clue. He had too many questions to find answers to, yet he couldn’t.

He couldn’t do anything recently, it was terrible. He couldn’t play basketball properly, he couldn’t sign up for the play, he couldn’t express his feelings, he couldn’t hang out with those he loved most, and he couldn’t understand why he cared so much for you.

He couldn’t understand why you were always on his mind 24/7. He couldn’t understand why his heart raced while the butterflies in his stomach swayed at the sound of your name.

Nothing made sense to him, and he hated that. He raised his hand, wiping at the tears before they became too much for him.

Jay sat at the edge of the team bench, far away from his teammates. Did he even have the right to call them teammates in the first place? Did they see him as a teammate?

He felt as though he didn’t deserve to be in the same room as them at all. He was a terrible person. Someone who was afraid to admit a stupid secret to his friends because he was afraid they’d turn their backs on him.

If he told them at the start that he didn’t hate the Drama Club and actually found them cool, then he wouldn’t have been here. It was his fault for worrying about what people would think of him.

It was his biggest flaw.

He wiped at his tears, now using the towel from earlier, hoping it was enough, and luckily, it was. The thing is, was he really crying over the incident with the team, or was he crying over you?

He still had no clue.

ACT EIGHT.

After yesterday’s game, Jay went straight into the locker room to grab his stuff and leave. He didn’t stay for the celebration portion nor did he congratulate the team.

He just left.

Even during P.E. class, Jay didn’t talk to Sohee. He felt like he had no right to, even if Sohee didn’t hate him. He still felt guilty. They almost lost the first quarter because of him.

Once he arrived in P.E. class, their teacher announced that they would be going on a hike for marks—something about getting a chance to boost your grade if you were failing.

He had a 97 in this class, what was the point of him participating? He shrugged it off, deciding it would be a good way to ease his mind for a bit.

A great distraction.

As he climbed the hill, he thought to himself. Did he really change like everyone said he did? Was he a terrible leader? Did he still have his normal calm aura? Was he still serious when he was on the court? Did he possibly fall in love with you? Were you the cause of his problems?

He exhaled and continued his walk up the hill, wondering if he’d ever find an answer.

“Jay!”

He turned around to the sound of his name, revealing the crowd before him. All his classmates, including Sohee, stood in a circle as their teacher faced Jay’s way.

He motioned for Jay to come over, and he did. His eyes widened at the scene, worry washing over him almost immediately.

“You’re passing the class the most. So, don’t worry about this mark. But, can you take her to a nearby bench?” His teacher asked, signalling at your injured figure.

Jay looked down at you as you looked up, making eye contact with him. Your hands gripped onto your ankle, questioning why it hurt so much.

“Okay.” That was all Jay said before walking through the crowd and crouching down in front of you.

He wondered if he truly had the highest grade in his class. So many other students could’ve done his job, but his teacher picked him.

He was thankful that he did. It gives him more of an excuse to be close to you.

In silence, you got on his back, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck. He stood up, pushing you up to adjust your position on his back.

“Alright, thank you, Jay.” His teacher said as Jay smiled.

“Everyone else, let’s continue.” Their teacher led the other students to the route.

Jay watched them all walk past, making eye contact with Sohee, Jay’s smile faltering. Sohee looked like he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. Sohee looked away, jogging after the group of students, as Jay sighed.

He pushed the scene back in his mind, proceeding with his more important task, bringing you to a nearby bench.

He followed his class, hoping one was ahead because he didn’t want to go downhill.

“You can grip tighter, you know?” He said, hinting at your loose arms.

“I don’t want to choke you or anything.” You replied, refusing to do so.

“You won’t though, don’t worry.” He said while stepping over a tree branch. Is this how you injured yourself?

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

You followed through with his request, tightening your arms a bit more around his neck. You were quite embarrassed to be in a position like this one, hiding your face in his neck.

For some reason, you suddenly forgot about the aching pain in your ankle. All you cared about was the warmth of Jay’s back, how he delicately held onto your legs and the strong but easing scent of his detergent and cologne.

Due to how close you two are currently, you prayed that he couldn’t hear your racing heart. It raced just like that time you saw him in the gymnasium.

You weren’t sure what caught your attention—his blue hair or the way his eyes glistened in the distance due to the sunrise.

Or was the first time you felt this way when you met him on the first day of school in sophomore year? You doubt he would remember your first interaction with each other—just a quick collision that caused you to drop your belongings.

He was with his teammates, K and Eric who sent you glares, but was still nice enough to help you pick up the fallen items. It was the bare minimum, so how come you felt that way?

“We’re here,” Jay said, bringing you out of your thoughts. He turned around, crouching down in front of the bench. You took it as a sign to slip off his back, taking a seat on the wooden park bench behind you.

“What happened?” Jay asked, wondering how you injured yourself. You looked down at him, grip tightening on the edge of the bench. After a questionable amount of silence went by, he looked up at you, questioning your silence.

“Oh,” you said.

“I rolled my ankle on a root in the ground. I couldn’t walk afterwards because it hurt so bad, but I didn’t know why.” You explained, hoping it was enough.

He tapped on your shoe, silently asking for consent as you nodded. He looked back down at your shoe, removing it gently.

“Either you sprained your ankle or you just needed a break.” He said as he put your shoe to the side. He took your covered foot into his hold, slowly moving it around.

“Does this hurt?”

“No.”

“That’s good.” He said, chuckling softly with a smile. Once again, butterflies spawned in your stomach, your face became warm, and your heart began to race.

You could listen to him laugh and watch him smile for days.

“Jay,” you called as he hummed in response. You hesitated to ask your question. He looked up, questioning your silence.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with worried eyes.

“Do you really want to audition? It wasn’t a dare from your teammates, right?” You asked, staring straight into his eyes, searching them for any emotions they might’ve held. Jay’s movements paused on your foot as he stared back at you in silence.

“I do,” Jay began.

“I really do, seriously.” He said, looking back down at your foot.

“I just, can’t bring myself to do so…you know, my team hates you guys and your club hates us. It’ll feel like I’m betraying my team and our bond is already as broken as it is…” He explained, still softly toying with your foot.

You were distracted by his words, unprepared for the sudden shock of pain, causing you to wince quite loudly. Jay abruptly stopped his movements, looking straight at you with worried eyes.

“Did that hurt? I’m sorry.” He said worriedly, removing his hands from your foot and you raised your hand, waving it off immediately.

“It wasn’t your fault. I was just unprepared, sorry.” You apologized in an attempt to calm him down.

“But, what do you mean your bond is already broken as it is?” You quoted him, hoping it wasn’t invading his privacy.

“Oh,” he whispered, placing his hands back on your foot. He didn’t know how he should explain it, a lot happened anyway.

“Well, K and I have been arguing a lot recently… I also feel really guilty about making them almost lose the first quarter of yesterday’s game.” He explained, looking at the dirt on the ground.

“I even thought about leaving the team at some point. Everything is too much for me to handle right now. My mind isn’t in its right state, you know?” He said with a soft chuckle and smile.

You were very much aware of how serious this conversation was, truly. But, god you couldn’t stop looking at the way his dimple appeared once he smiled, the way his soft and gentle hands held your foot as if it was a piece of glass that would break at any sudden movements, the way he softly chuckled, and the sincerity behind all his words.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, you’ve been there before too. Losing a play’s script was something that you feared most. It would prove how irresponsible you were as the club leader—a title you thought you didn’t deserve in that moment.

You were thrilled after finding it once again but still worried for a moment like that to repeat. You had to be prepared, you couldn’t let your guard down.

“Me too.” You said, biting your bottom lip in hesitation. Should you be admitting to one of your most embarrassing flaws right now? Not to mention it was to someone you only spoke with recently.

It was weird.

You felt oddly close to Jay. Even if you had a few—many accidental encounters with each other, they only proceeded to build a bond you didn’t know you two had. You hoped he felt the same.

“I’ve second-guessed myself being the club leader many times. Whenever I was stressed about something and couldn’t get the club’s tasks done on time, couldn’t keep the smiles on my club members bright, and when I lost the play’s script.” You explained, causing Jay to stiffen.

It was almost like hearing the words ‘play’s script’ could flip off a switch in his body, making him malfunction. He knew he wasn’t fully in the wrong for that situation but still felt guilty.

“It was something I feared most. I hate making mistakes and losing the only copy of the play’s script made me realize how unorganized I can be. It was my fault, really, I should’ve kept it somewhere I would remember.” You elaborated.

He nodded, tight-lipped and stiffer than ever. Of course, eventually, he would have to come clean. He didn’t know how you would react to the news though, not wanting to ruin whatever bond you two had built so far. Maybe it was better this way. He was good at keeping secrets anyway, right?

“I think you should be good for a bit. Try and see if you can walk on it now.” He said while slowly slipping on your shoe.

“If it still hurts, don’t worry, I can carry you down the whole way.” He reassured you as you nodded.

Hey, if this was his only chance to be this close to you, of course, he was going to take it and use it to his extent.

Surely, you might’ve been on the same page as him, staggering over your feet after rising from your seat on the bench. Your ankle was perfectly fine, but your heart wasn’t. You didn’t want this moment to end. It was obvious you wouldn’t get another chance like this one, so, why not put up a lie to keep it going?

“I don’t think I can…” You winced, putting your acting skills to use. You weren’t the Drama Club leader for nothing. You ‘attempted’ another step, stumbling over your feet once again. Jay was quick to grab you by your arm before you had the chance to ‘fall’.

“That’s okay,” he said, secretly cheering internally. He guided you back to the bench, letting you take a seat before crouching in front of you, silently signalling for you to hop on. You bit back your smile, also cheering internally.

You were very glad that your acting worked.

You got onto his back, wrapping your arms around him the same as before. The warmth of his back engulfed your slightly cold figure as the comforting tang of detergent and his cologne filled your nostrils. You smiled, placing your chin on Jay’s shoulder. You wanted this moment to last forever and he did too.

“Hey,” you said, gaining his attention. He hummed in response, too focused on climbing the hill to catch up to the rest of your classmates.

“You said you wanted to audition, right? I don’t think you’ll be able to get a major role since it’s quite late. But, I’m sure you can become a substitute in case someone can't make it.” You explained, hoping it wasn’t too much information for him to comprehend.

He nodded, unsure of what you really said. All he could focus on was the bumpy trail ahead of him and how close your voice was to his ear. He felt his face warm up as he cleared his throat, trying to forget about the feeling.

“If you want, we could—I mean, I could help you rehearse before the final play?” You asked. An odd silence fell between you two as you bit your bottom lips out of embarrassment. You weren’t sure whether or not that was the right move.

“Sure,” he began, catching your attention.

“I’d like that.” He smiled as you smiled, fighting back the sigh of relief.

You were glad you didn’t make things awkward between you two. Jay pushed you up, adjusting his hold on you, and continuing the walk in a comfortable silence, both of your hearts beating in sync.

ACT NINE.

Jay constantly stared at his phone all practice. He had given you his number the other day, just so you two could plan out a meetup, but you haven’t texted him at all. He thought maybe you were busy or you were too nervous to do so.

This wouldn’t be the first time he had been told he was unapproachable.

Due to his calm yet serious demeanour, there were many incidents where people told him they were too scared to talk to him—his blue hair did not make it any better—even during class. Many students were afraid to be paired up with him, unaware of how sweet of a person he really was. Once they got to know him better, they stopped fearing him, but that didn’t go for students who hadn’t gotten to know him.

He sighed deeply and grabbed his packed duffle bag. It would be best to leave it alone for now. Maybe yesterday’s interaction was a fluke. He couldn’t get his hopes up in case you never texted.

“Jay,” Sohee called. Jay looked over at the boy who leaned against the pole of a net. He motioned for him to come over as Jay followed through.

“What’s up with you and Y/N?” He asked, crossing his arms in the process.

What did he mean? Nothing was up, judging by how you weren’t texting him like you said you would.

“Nothing, why?” Jay replied, more disappointed than ever. He didn’t want to say those words but had no choice.

“It’s just, that you two were all buddy-buddy with each other for the rest of P.E. class,” Sohee explained. Jay’s mouth opened and closed a few times. No response. It was true that you were pretty close yesterday, but today? Not much.

“Ah, I was just worried, that’s all…” Jay said, regretting his words right after. He was supposed to be nonchalant about it. He couldn’t let his teammates know anything about his little ‘thing’ for you.

Was it even a ‘little thing’ at this point? He didn’t know himself.

“What about her asking about an audition?” Sohee asked, causing Jay to freeze. His arm dropped to his side, grip loosening on his phone but not enough for it to fall out completely.

What did Sohee mean? Did he overhear them? Jay tried so hard to keep this a secret but was still caught in the end.

“Don’t tell me…” Sohee paused. “You were thinking of signing up weren’t you?” He asked still Jay remained silent.

He couldn’t blow his cover. Especially after all how much he tried to keep it a secret, from you, his teammates, your club members. Everyone.

“So, it is true! No wonder you’ve been acting so out of place lately.” Sohee said, pushing himself off the pole as realization hit him. Jay looked around, hoping nobody overheard whatever he was saying.

Luckily, there wasn’t anyone around—or so he thought there wasn’t.

K emerged from the storage room, making his way over to the two boys. Jay looked over, eyes slightly widening. K was the last person that Jay wanted to overhear this conversation.

“You’ve been ditching us, giving us cold shoulders, and everything for that club of freaks?” K asked, baffled.

“Fair play, leader. So much for being there for us 24/7.” He said, rolling his eyes and scoffing.

Jay gulped. Although he was mad, he was unsure of what right words to use at this moment.

“They aren’t that bad,” Jay said, hoping those words were okay.

“Yeah, because they’re terrible! Did they brainwash you or something?” K’s eyes narrowed. Jay couldn’t hold back anymore. He didn’t want things to get physical, but they could’ve.

“See, this is why I didn’t tell you guys anything. Of course, I felt terrible for taking an interest in it. I didn’t want to ‘betray’ you guys, and K only made those thoughts worse.” Jay blamed, staring at K whose jaw dropped while he pointed at himself in disbelief.

“Me?” K asked, walking towards Jay.

“I’m the one who made your thoughts worse? I was just telling you the truth and how I felt about everything.” He admitted, but his words meant nothing to Jay.

“Exactly why I couldn’t tell you guys anything, especially you, K. I’m aware I haven’t been in the right state of mind, but do I know why? Not at all.” Jay said, adjusting his backpack.

“Nothing is making sense to me anymore, do I know why? Nope. I’m just as confused as you two.” Jay’s tone was quite harsh and irritating. He was frustrated and annoyed at what K had to say, causing his own words to flow out with no hesitation.

“Whatever. Go ahead, spread the word for all I care.” Jay said with an eye roll that was mainly directed at K.

K swore he felt his eye twitch as Jay turned around, walking away. How could he end his sentence that way?

“K, loosen up,” Sohee said, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“If Jay wants to do something he can, you don’t have any say in it. You have to calm down, you’re so controlling over him. No wonder he couldn’t tell us about it.” Sohee ranted and K stood still.

He was shocked that even Sohee took Jay’s side. Of course, they were all mad at him and how he distanced himself away from the team, especially K.

Still, was he really in the wrong? K sighed, letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he had in him.

Jay walked through the school’s courtyard, eyes focused on his phone. There was still no message or call from you. Normally, you were everywhere around the school. He always managed to run into you, but today, you were nowhere to be found.

He had no clue where to look either.

He sighed, looking up from his phone, eyes meeting a sight he didn’t expect—your back facing him. He put his phone into his pocket, jogging towards you. He couldn’t lose you. It took him almost the whole day to find you anyway.

“Y/N.” Jay called, hand reaching out to yours. You stiffened at the familiar voice, pausing in your tracks. The soft gentle hold on your hand made you turn around, being met with a face you didn’t want to see.

Well, you would’ve if you didn’t find out about the news earlier.

“Finally, I found you. Is the plan from yesterday still up?” He asked, a slight smile making its way to his features. You couldn’t fall for it, especially with the way his dimple slowly appeared, you couldn’t fall for it.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, brows furrowing. You stared at Jay’s face, he seemed worried. As if he had a reason to be, he was the cause of it all. You reached for the hand that held onto yours, removing it yourself, making his furrowed brows deepen.

You turned away, taking your leave in his silence. As you walked away, the distance between you and Jay didn’t change. His constant footsteps that increased in sound as he chased after you was all that you needed to stop.

“What?” You asked, abruptly stopping and turning around, causing him to stumble over his feet.

“What do you mean, what? What’s wrong with you?” He asked, confused. Why were you suddenly giving him attitude after ignoring his concerns and leaving him hanging? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

You stayed silent. As much as you didn’t want to face him right now, he wasn’t giving you a choice not to. So, you might as well pop the question.

“Did you really do it?”

ACT TEN.

Jay’s pencil tapped against the surface of his desk as he stared out the window. He sneezed, attracting all the attention to him.

“Bless you,” Mrs. Jang said as he sent her a sheepish smile. He whispered a soft thanks before returning his attention to the notes in front of him. He couldn’t come down with a cold, not before the team’s next game. The sudden downpour yesterday must’ve caused his little sneeze attacks. Although it was a bad rainstorm, it wasn’t as bad as his argument with you.

“Did you do it?” You asked, grip tightening on the straps of your backpack.

“Do what?” He asked, becoming more confused. You bit your bottom lips, hesitating. You didn’t want to believe whatever you were told before, but it would still be best to hear it directly from him.

“Did you take the play’s script?” You asked, looking at your shoes and then at him. He stiffened at the question. This wasn’t the first time it happened. He also stiffened during the time you mentioned your fear of losing the play script on the park bench.

The sun that shined on the two of you before, disappeared behind dark grey clouds. It was almost as if this conversation took place in a play due to the perfect timing of the rain. Jay’s eyes were wide. The thing he was afraid of most happened. He knew he should’ve told you sooner.

“So, you did? Wow—”

“I didn’t.” He interrupted you, his words coming out so suddenly. “Well, I was there, but I tried to stop them.” He explained, brows raising slightly.

“You were still part of it,” you started, brows furrowing. “Weren’t you?” You asked as he gulped.

“What’s next? Did you purposely get close to me with the hope that I wouldn’t find out about this? And if I did, did you think I would have mercy on you?” You asked, hurt at the thought.

“To be honest, I trusted you and told you about how I would feel if the play’s script ever went missing, yet you didn’t bother to speak up during that moment.” You explained, now looking at him. His mouth opened and closed constantly, but nothing came out.

“Y/N,” Jay called, softly. It was almost like he was trying to swoon you over instead of addressing your accusations. If the situation was different, it might’ve worked.

“Listen, I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t.” He said, searching your eyes for any change of emotion.

“Why didn’t you?” You asked, raising a brow at him.

“Because I didn’t want you to hate me.” Jay began.

“Plus, I already felt bad enough when you told me about the fear and stuff, I didn’t want to make anything worse.”

“You didn’t want me to hate you?” You asked, scoffing.

“You made me doubt myself as a leader for a moment, Jay. As childish as it might be, losing the script made me feel terrible. And you knew about it but didn’t bother to tell me? Do you know what spot you put yourself in?” You ranted, leaving Jay no time to answer any questions.

“Y/N,” Jay paused. He didn’t know if the words he would say next would make matters worse or better.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. Truly, I never really cared about the Drama club or took in my team’s hatred for them. They were just… there. But once you came along, I swear my life did a whole 180.” He said, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

“Do you want me to pity you?” You asked and he shook his head fervently.

“Of course not. I’m just saying you’re always on my mind for whatever reason and I can’t even function because of that. As we grew ‘closer’ I always wanted to admit that incident, but I knew what the possible outcomes were. I never felt this way about anything, but ruining whatever we had between us made me feel as if the world was ending.” He continued as you listened.

“So, instead of speaking up. I returned the script in silence. Remember the day we ran into each other in the corridor? Yeah, I was running from Seungcheol. I know that was the wrong move and I should’ve told you instead of keeping quiet, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” As Jay finished his sentence, droplets of rain began falling down from the grey clouds.

You stayed quiet, remembering back to the time you ran into Jay in the corridor. The way he held your hand made your heart race. You couldn’t bear with the increase in speed, so, you asked him to let go.

You knew if he didn’t, your face would’ve definitely changed shades, making your supposed crush on him quite obvious.

“Still not a smart choice.” You said before walking away as the rain became more heavier. Jay stood there in silence, staring at your back, his blue strands sticking onto his skin.

He breathed in and out, eyes slowly opening and closing as he watched you leave. He couldn’t do anything about this. It was as if everything he took an interest in or did, ruined the relationships between him and those he was close to, including you and his teammates.

You held your hand up to your chest, unsure if the racing in your heart was caused by Jay’s words or how fast you walked down the steps. You were mad at him, that was for sure, but he seemed genuine with his words and due to being the weak person you were, you would be lying if you said you didn’t fall for him even more.

Jay stood up, eyes wide, and his hands on his desk. Once again, all the attention was on him, including their teacher’s. His chair scraping on the floor was definitely the cause of that.

“Are you okay, Jay?” Mrs. Jang asked, catching him off guard.

“Huh? Oh, yeah…” He mumbled while taking his seat.

He couldn’t believe he uttered those words yesterday. He practically confessed to you and you made no reaction. Great, he embarrassed himself. Why was he so in love with you to the point where he couldn’t function straight?

“Jay,” a voice called gaining his attention. He looked up, noticing the many students who packed up their belongings and the two boys in front of him.

“Are you coming?” Eric asked, gesturing behind him with his thumb. Jay raised a brow at him, genuinely confused as to what he meant.

“...For lunch? We always eat together on the day of our games. Remember?” He elaborated, causing Jay to ‘ah’ in realization. It would be a lie if said he didn’t forget about today’s game. It was the last one of the season. He couldn’t play as sloppily as before.

He began to pack up his belongings, glancing at the two boys while doing so.

K stood beside Eric, a scowl present on his features. Clearly, he was forced to face him. The intense tension engulfed Jay as he cleared his throat, hoping it would clear the tension too. Sadly, it didn’t, but it did gain Eric’s attention.

“You’re done?” He asked and Jay nodded while swinging his backpack over a shoulder.

“Do you think Coach will let you play today?” Eric asked Jay as the three walked down the halls.

“Probably not. But, we will have to see.” Jay said with his words coming out as a sigh. K tensed beside him, quieter than ever. Usually, he would chat with them, but it was too awkward to do so.

Did he feel awkward because of yesterday’s chat? What if Jay and Sohee’s words really got to him?

“K!” Eric shouted, startling K out of his thoughts. K turned around, noticing he missed the whole entrance to the cafeteria due to his distracted thoughts.

“My bad,” he mumbled, making his way back to the two boys and then into the cafeteria without giving them another glance. Eric and Jay looked at each other and then shrugged, but before walking in, Jay spoke up.

“Wait,” he began, causing Eric to pause. “I thought you hated me? Why are you talking to me as if nothing happened?” He asked.

“Not sure, but I never hated you. Yeah, there was a moment of disappointment, but we can’t decide your choices.” Eric flashed Jay a smile before walking into the cafeteria and making his way to the team’s table. The one Jay picked out back in freshman year. Although most were mad at him, at least they didn’t switch tables.

Jay caught up with Eric as they both took their seats at the filled table. The mood wasn’t as bad as Jay intended it to be. At practice, it was awkward and heavy, but right now, it was light and comforting. Truly, he missed days like these and his best friends, especially K.

But clearly, it would take at least 1 light-year to build their previous bond again.

“So, Jay,” Sohee called, causing Jay’s eyes to shift over to the male. Jay wasn’t even aware that he was staring at K who sat opposite Jay at the table. Sohee took a bite of his food before continuing his sentence.

“Did things escalate with Y/N?” He asked. Jay’s gaze briefly shifted over to K, his tensing figure not going unnoticed by the blue-haired boy. “What do you mean?” Jay asked, his eyes now on Sohee.

“I heard she found out about the script issue…” He explained as everyone at the table looked at the two, excluding K.

“Shit, really?” Mark asked while stabbing his fork into today’s meal—pork chops. Sohee nodded at Mark’s question as K abruptly stood up, silencing Jay before he had the chance to reply. He grabbed his belongings and his untouched tray of food.

“I’m not hungry. See you guys at the game.” He said before leaving them behind. Jay watched as K walked away, not sparing a glance at the team as he exited the cafeteria.

“Ignore him. He’s been like that ever since we all found out about you and Y/N.” Heeseung reassured Jay, causing him to look back in front of him. Jay nodded, smiling awkwardly before taking another bite of his bowl of rice.

The atmosphere became quite awkward as Jay tried to avoid the question as much as possible by staying silent. It worked but ruined the comforting mood that was present earlier.

He wondered if you were still mad at him. Of course, he messed up, but he tried to stop them and still returned the script in the end. Although it took him a week to do so, he understood he should’ve confronted you about it once you two became close.

But for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He hated confrontation.

His last period wasn’t anything fun. It was just as boring as his other classes. Many classmates wished him good luck on his game while teachers excused him from their homework assignments.

“Land a big one on them!” Mr. Lee exclaimed as Jay laughed awkwardly. He left his classroom at the same time as before—2:45 PM—and made his way to his locker. He promised his teammates he wouldn’t be late this time. There was nothing to distract him from doing so too. You were absent today.

Or so he thought.

Right when he shut his locker, he saw your figure a few meters away from his. His eyes widened as you rummaged through your locker. If that was your locker, how come he’s never seen you there?

“Y/N?” Jay called, biting his lip right after. He didn’t mean for it to slip out.

You froze at the voice, pausing your movements as well. You then hurriedly grabbed your books and shut your locker while swiftly slipping on your lock before rushing away. You were avoiding him for a reason, so, why did you see him in the most unnecessary spot possible?

“Wait!” Jay exclaimed, jogging after you. You must be a fool if you thought you could escape an athlete like him. You stopped running and turned around, exhausted while Jay looked as if he didn’t move an inch.

Wow, he was lucky.

“What?” You asked in a bitter tone. Jay looked at his phone, the clock reading 2:47 PM.

“I have three minutes to do this, so please don’t interrupt me” He pleaded as you stared at him. Although you showcased that you were unamused, you secretly were.

“I’m sorry.” Jay began with a sigh.

“I understand what I’ve done wrong. Even if I tried to stop them and returned the script, it can’t excuse my mistake, okay? I’m sorry if you felt as if I was taking advantage of you. I swear I wasn’t.” He explained as every word that escaped his mouth lingered with sympathy.

“I believe you’re an amazing leader and that you should never doubt yourself, especially over a mistake like that one. It happens to the best of us.”

“Don’t forgive me, it’s fine. We can restart whenever you’re ready.” He finished off with a slight smile, checking his phone once more. There was only a minute left to hear your response.

“So, what do you say?” He asked, a little panicky. You sighed while shaking your head.

“You make it really hard to stay mad at you, you know? Why do your words have to be so heartfelt and picked out oh so carefully?” You said as a smile made its way to his face again.

“I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hold that mistake against you. One more mistake and whatever this is will end.” You warned while motioning between you both. He nodded and chuckled.

You were well aware of his feelings for you. Yesterday’s argument was enough to confirm that he supposedly felt the same way you did. The only difference was, he didn’t know you felt the same way. Hopefully, he could find out before another mistake was made.

“You’re going to be late, go to your match. You need to at least warm up.” You ushered him down the hallway towards the gymnasium and waved him goodbye as he did the same.

Now that everything was cleared up between you two, he would definitely do better in this match.

ACT ELEVEN.

“Starters for today, Ricky, Mark, Sohee, Jisung, and Jake.” Their coach said, causing the team to gasp.

“What about K, Jay, and Eric?” Asked Jisung. He looked at the three who sat on the bench quieter than ever. This was the first time their coach had ever done this, of course, everyone was shocked.

“You guys will be fine. Today’s team isn’t that difficult, so let’s preserve their energy until it is needed.” He explained while marking something off on his clipboard.

“Jay, are you in proper condition to play today?” He asked while making his way over to the boy. Jay looked up from his shoes and nodded at their coach's words. Their coach smiled, checking something off once again.

“Perfect,” he began.

“Okay, go out there and play well.” He said to the teammates who were said to play first. They followed through with his instructions and made their way to the court. Although there wasn’t any backup with their three-star players, they still had hope they could win.

Chemistry was all their team needed to win. So, K and Jay better make up before they had to step foot on the court.

Jay held out his fist that hid a wrapped-up peppermint in front of K’s view. K looked up from the ground at Jay’s hand and then his eyes shifted over to Jay who sat beside him. Jay opened his hand, revealing the peppermint to K.

“What?” K asked, staring at the sweet confused. Jay ushered him to take it as he followed through.

“Good, now eat it,” Jay ordered as K’s brows furrowed. “Did you poison it or something? I wouldn’t be shocked if you did, I’ve been an ass lately.” K said while hesitating to unravel the sweet.

Jay chuckled while looking at the players on the court getting into position. “At least you’re self-aware, but I have been one too. Still, I wouldn’t poison anything.” He said, rubbing his hands together.

“Listen, when we go on the court, we need to at least work together,” Jay explained, gaining K’s attention.

“Just because we had multiple arguments and not the best friendship lately doesn’t mean we can let our team lose, and that doesn’t mean I fully forgive you.”

“I would take your advice for yourself if I were you,” K said, referring to the last time Jay played on the court. Jay sent him a glare.

“I’m in a good mood right now, do not blow it,” Jay warned while pointing at him which only made K burst out laughing.

“Anyways, I wouldn’t dare to let our team lose. Glad, you’re finally acting like the team’s captain.” K teased as Jay softly punched him in the gut. K winced in pain as Jay playfully rolled his eyes and continued watching the game.

Jisung had the ball, tossing it up in the air as it made its way into the net. An easy 3-pointer only a minute into the game was all they needed to kickstart their desire to win.

Perfect.

Eventually, Jay, K, and Eric were subbed in for the last two quarters. The new lineup included the three boys and Mark who seemed to be in great shape even after 24 minutes of playing.

His stamina was insane.

“Focus,” Jay said from his spot in the key, turning his head to Mark across from him.

“Don’t beat yourself up if you’re tired. Just ask Coach to sub you off, okay?” He reassured the boy as Mark nodded.

The referee blew his whistle, passing the ball to the opposing team’s side. It was their ball when the second quarter ended anyway.

Decelis’ boys were now spaced out on the court, guarding their opponents. The points were at a good distance with Jay’s team being at 36 and the other team being at 24. Still, there was no knowing when they’d catch up.

It could happen at any time.

The referee blew his whistle again as the opposing team inbounded their ball. Mark failed to block his opponent as they ran down the court to their goal, it was obvious he was soon going to reach his limit.

Mark’s opponent passed the ball toward the player K was guarding—a rookie mistake. Never pass the ball if K was around.

With that said, K caught the ball, shocking the opponent behind him. He dribbled the ball, dashing to the other side of the court as his teammates followed behind him.

He paused at the three-point line, looking around for an open teammate. Mark was busy trying to get free from his defender and Jay did the same.

Eric sprinted towards K’s spot with his blocker trailing behind him. Once Eric was practically beside K, they did a quick handoff, leaving Eric with no other option but to dribble toward the net and perform a neat lay-up.

“Nice!” K exclaimed, high-fiving Eric as they both jogged towards the half point of the court. The boys were all beaming with satisfaction as all of their eyes held an intense desire to win.

A few points into the third quarter, Mark asked their coach to sub him out for Heeseung. It was obvious how exhausted he was, but nobody blamed him.

He played amazingly anyway.

The current score read 54-40. Clearly, they were catching up, but Decelis was still far ahead.

“I can’t believe you managed to convince me to come watch,” Kazuha said with her arm interlocked with yours as you guys walked through the bleachers.

“It’ll be fun. Maybe you’ll learn not to hate them as much.” You explained as you both took a seat in front.

“I hate being surrounded by basketball fans. They’re all sweaty and smelly, especially that one.” Kazuha said while pointing at K. You swatted at her hand, forcing her to lower it from the impact as K sent you guys a glare. Kazuha raised her fist and mouthed a curse word at his angry face as you laughed.

Was she really loud or was his hearing just really good?

Your eyes attentively watched Jay who wiped at the sweat that dribbled down his jawline. The gaze he held was the same gaze from the day you two finally spoke after two years. You will never forget that P.E. class.

He was very different than how he was off the court. Off the court, he’s a cold guy who is really clumsy while on the court, he seems unapproachable. It would be like having a death wish if you wanted to talk to him.

“Y/N,” Kazuha started while watching your eyes beam at the sight of Jay playing.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“What?” You asked, chuckling nervously.

“Do you like their team captain? You won’t take your eyes off of him even while talking to me.” Kazuha explained as you turned to look at her.

“Here, I’m looking.” You said as she smirked and pointed at you. “You’re blushing. You do like him!” She exclaimed as your eyes widened. You covered your cheeks with your hands while swatting at her teasing finger.

“Enough!” You whisper-shouted not wanting to attract any more attention to you two, but failed. Jay’s eyes were already on you as a silly smile made its way to his face.

The sight he saw answered all his questions. It was an obvious one, yet he denied it continuously. There was only one reason why you were always on his mind.

He was definitely in love with you.

The next day, the game was all everyone spoke about. The winning shot performed by K and Jay would definitely go down in Decelis's history. Jay threw the ball into the air as K came out of nowhere, dunking it into the hoop, the buzzer going off right after.

Everyone including their opposing team was shocked. No wonder they were part of the ‘star-players lineup’.

Slowly, K and Jay’s friendship began to be restored. Even if they were becoming friends again, the incidents from before weren’t forgotten, and K was very aware of that. It’ll take quite a while to make up for the things he has said and done.

“Wow, they weren’t playing,” Eric joked while eyeing K’s decorated locker.

“Ours must be worse…” Eric mumbled internally filled with excitement. He wondered what his locker looked like.

“They got you too,” K said pointing at Jay’s locker down the hall, “And Jisung.” K chuckled.

Their school must love them a lot to take time out of their day to decorate. It did make sense to do so, they won the whole season.

Eric boasted about a game he played when they got home yesterday. Even after the exhausting match, he still had enough energy to check out his favourite game’s new update.

To Jay, it felt nice to be included in things like this again. There were no more nasty glares being sent his way as he watched from afar. Things were slowly starting to go back to normal.

“Jay, your phone’s ringing,” Eric said, pausing his conversation topic. Jay looked at the boy confused then down at his vibrating pocket.

He removed his phone from his pocket, eyeing the contact name with wide eyes. “I’ll be back,” Jay said before walking away from his friends and picking up the phone.

He stood in front of his locker, leaning against the decorations.

“Hey.” Jay greeted, waiting for a response back. He slowly became anxious at the quietness. Did you

“Hey.” You greeted on the other line, causing Jay’s heart to flutter. He mentally cursed at his heart, hoping the beating would slow, but it didn’t.

“So… I was wondering if that deal was still up?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, “I mean, as long as you’re free!” Jay exclaimed. He didn’t want his words to sound forceful.

You smiled at his words, writing down some words in your notebook. “Anything is fine with me. I’m free tomorrow… How about 12 PM?” You asked while clicking your pen shut.

It was a Saturday after all. What plans did Jay really have on a Saturday?

He hummed in agreement, turning around to unlock his locker with a smile. K and Eric grimaced at the sight as K shut his locker closed.

“Who has him smiling like a dork…?” K asked, brows furrowing. He’s never seen their captain like this before.

“I wonder…” Eric muttered, mirroring the exact expression as K.

They both paused, looking over at each other with slightly wide eyes, “Y/N.”

ACT TWELVE.

Jay rocked back and forth on the soles of his feet anxiously. The clock read 11:55 AM, 5 minutes before the two were supposed to meet. He was a punctual person, of course, he wasn’t early on purpose…

“Jay!” Your voice brought him out of his thoughts as his eyes looked in your direction quickly. You were smiling at him.

At him.

“Wow, you look happy.” He teased while making his way towards you. You were smiling from ear to ear because you were finally able to hang out with him, of course, you were happy.

“I received great news.” You cheered, clasping your hands together. He stared at you a slight smile on his own features with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his sweater as he teasingly raised a brow.

“Which is?” He asked.

“I was chosen to be this year’s valedictorian!” You said, your smile growing even more. Jay’s eyes widened in shock.

That was truly great news.

“Really? That’s great, Y/N.” He smiled with that dimple you hated oh so much showing. You hated how it made your face warm and butterflies in your stomach swarm.

But wait… Valedictorian?

“Wait, graduation is in a month, right?” He asked, the thought of this being his final year completely forgotten. You nodded at his question, confused yourself.

“Did you forget?”

“...Yeah.” He mumbled in embarrassment. You laughed at his sheepishness, waving your hand in the air.

“That’s fine. It happens, honestly. Anyway, our play is in a week. Everyone has been practicing like crazy, I don’t think anyone won’t be able to make it, but we can still practice if you want.” You said, playing with the felt of your clothes.

Jay nodded. Anything was fine with him. Although he really wanted to participate in your club’s play previously, due to all the commotion that happened within these two months, he wasn’t sure if he felt the same way.

He was still glad he met you at least.

You two strolled through the garden you suggested as the meeting place. This was a good way to clear your mind and prepare yourselves for the script reading.

The garden was a very pretty sight. You pulled out your phone, positioning your camera in front of any pretty flower you crouched before.

“It’s pretty, right?” You asked, eyeing the pink flower in front of you.

A Hibiscus.

“Yes, it’s very pretty,” Jay replied, crouching behind you, “Just like you.” He whispered, startling you.

Immediately, you turned around, flinching and falling backwards due to how close he was. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you back up before you could fall into the field of flowers.

You both stared into each other’s eyes as the wind rustled through the pedals on every flower in the field. You cleared your throat as Jay’s arm unravelled from your waist, but you caught your balance before you could fall over.

“My bad, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized while standing up. You shook your head, trying to shake away the butterflies as well.

“It’s okay.” You muttered, eyes going back to your phone. The photo you took by accident was blurry and was most likely taken when you were falling. You couldn’t recognize anything aside from the vibrant pink blur.

You swiped backwards, satisfied with this photo instead. It showed the flowers, picking up the different shades of pink and the fading droplets of water. Jay looked around in an attempt to distract himself from the encounter from earlier.

It was a mistake, he swore it was, yet part of him wanted it to happen again.

“Do you want to get something to eat? I’m pretty sure there’s a cafe nearby. We can read over the script there.” You suggested, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Ah, sure, why not.” He said, giving you an awkward smile. You stood up, dusting off your pants as Jay did the same. He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and followed you out of the field of flowers.

The walkout was silent. A little too silent for Jay’s liking.

“To be honest,” he started, gaining your attention. You hummed in response, eyes examining any flowers in your sight.

“You’re as beautiful as an orange flower,” he said, “If you were in a garden, I would definitely choose you first.”

You laughed at his words, thinking they were silly even if they made you flustered.

“I’m serious.”

You paused and turned around to face him, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“Why an orange flower? What about blue flowers?” You asked, genuinely curious. Was orange his favourite colour or something? If it was… wouldn’t he have dyed his hair orange instead of blue?

“Because,” he began, “It’s scientifically proven that orange is an eye-catching colour. To prove my point, you caught my eye that same day in P.E. class.”

Your eyes slightly widened at his sudden confession, but you then regained your composure. A sly smile made its way onto your features as you looked at Jay with narrowed eyes.

“Are you confessing to me again?” You asked and he nodded. Without hesitation, he nodded.

“You didn’t say anything to the first one…” He explained as you shook your head. It’s not that you didn’t say anything. You just didn’t know how to formulate words at that exact moment. You grabbed his hand, interlocking it with yours and dragged him towards the entrance at a faster pace.

“Let’s make a deal.” You said once you reached the arched entry. “Can you wait an extra month?” You asked as his brows furrowed.

“A month? What for?” He asked, leaving your question unanswered.

“Yes or no?” You asked, this time leaving his question unanswered.

Jay hesitated. He didn’t want to choose the wrong answer. This only reminded him of the time K and Eric dragged him to the club room—the start of everything. Back then, he regretted agreeing with the boys and he worried if that would happen with you. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to take a risk, right?

“Yes.” He said as you smiled in return.

“Good.”

ACT THIRTEEN.

The final month of being a senior went by faster than Jay expected. Ever since that day you and Jay hung out, you never brought up your question. He still had no clue what you meant by waiting a month, but he did it anyway.

There were many moments where he uttered the words ‘I love you’ or complimented you numerous times. He didn’t have anything to hide anymore, right? You knew he loved you and he made sure you did almost every single day.

That didn’t mean you said the three words back to him. You never did. Although it bothered him a little bit and caused him to doubt if what he was doing was right, you always managed to make him fall head over heels for you all over again.

Here he was, standing on stage with his coach and principal who presented him with the scholarship he waited his whole life for. He didn’t start playing basketball at the age of 7 for nothing.

As he listened to the principal speak, he was reminded of his freshman days. It felt like he was filling out that scholarship form just yesterday. It was still shocking that this was his last day in Decelis.

“Thank you,” he said while bowing and smiling at his principal as he took the envelope in hand. He then turned to look at his coach who seemed more emotional than ever, leaving Jay baffled.

“Shouldn’t I be the emotional one?” Jay asked while walking off the stage with his coach.

“There’s just something in my eye.” He said.

What a lie. Nobody would believe that one.

Jay scoffed and shook his head as he made his way back to his seat. He was congratulated by a few classmates on his way there, stopping a few times to high-five some of them. There was a bright smile on his face, feeling satisfied that he finally accomplished his dream.

Younghoon gave Jay a proud pat on the back from his seat behind Jay, feeling like a proud dad. It was something he always did when he felt proud of Jay.

“Now, please welcome this year’s valedictorian, L/N Y/N.” The school’s principal announced through the mic as you rose from your seat, making your way to the stage.

As you walked past Jay’s seat, you glanced over at him flashing him a smile as he did the same.

You adjusted the mic, levelling it to your desire, and turning it on in the process. You flipped through the script on the podium, finding your speech that you’ve practiced a ton of times.

“Good evening, staff, my fellow seniors, and most importantly, family members.” You began, gripping the sides of the podium as a smile made its way to your face.

“I’m L/N Y/N, your valedictorian for this ceremony. First, I want to start by congratulating this year’s graduating class. Time flew by faster than we all expected, right? To me, it still feels like I was preparing for my first day as a freshman in Decelis just yesterday, worrying about what I should wear even if this is a uniform school.” You joked, making a few students hum in agreement and laugh at your words as Jay watched with an adoring smile.

“I know how much it may hurt to say goodbye to those you adored, but take this as an opportunity to branch out and explore new things. I had an amazing time with this school’s Drama Club and enjoyed being the leader. It taught me a lot more than I intended to learn.” You said, gaze shifting to Jay.

“It taught me how fun taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone can be. How fun exploring the personalities of others can be even while going against the established yet unconfirmed rule that says you must hate each other.”

It was obvious that you were referring to the Drama club and Basketball team rivalry and the unsaid person was obviously Jay. Who else broke that unconfirmed rule with you?

“The events that occurred this year really brought me an enjoyable and exciting final year of high school, so I’m very grateful for it.” You finished off your speech with a closing sentence that thanked everyone for coming and wished all the graduating students the best of luck for their future.

Soon after your speech, all students received their diplomas and medals, meaning they were no longer high school students.

You and Jay were no longer the leaders of the Drama club and Basketball team or classmates from P.E. class.

“You were great.” Jay complimented you after finding you in the school’s courtyard. You turned around, smiling at his words.

“Congrats on the scholarship!” You cheered, a smile appearing on his face. Before he could reply, you were already dragging him by the hand through the crowds of people, and running towards the steps you guys last argued on.

“What are we doing here?” He asked, looking around, noticing how nobody was there. They were all taking pictures to reminisce about the moment a few years later.

“So—”

He was silenced by the sudden kiss planted on his cheek, causing him to look at you faster than ever. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was slightly agape at the sudden movement. You looked into his wide eyes with your curious ones.

“What was that about?” He asked in utter shock.

“I love you,” you confessed, his wide eyes becoming even wider. He blinked continuously, thinking this was all a dream.

“What?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

“Am I going crazy, or did you really say I love you?” He asked as your eyes widened.

“You must be going crazy. I said no such thing.” You lied, putting on your best poker face. Your hand removed his cap, feeling his forehead temperature to complete the act.

“Your temperature is fine though… Did you not sleep enough?” You asked, concerned. You loved being able to pull these types of tricks on him. His reactions were always cute to you.

“I’m kidding, I did.” You said, smiling. You couldn’t keep up the lie anymore, especially with this way his brows furrowed in disappointment.

“It has been a month. I waited it out until today. I didn’t want to interrupt our studies if we ever started anything, you know,” you said while letting go of his hand, “And it would’ve been a mistake if I didn’t confess the same place you first did.” You said while looking around the area you stood in.

It really was your last time walking down these steps.

Out of nowhere, your face was cupped by slightly rough hands that brought warmth to your cheek, turning your head to face Jay’s direction. You had no time to register anything, his soft lips on yours.

Although you weren’t prepared, you still sunk into the kiss, but Jay pulled away before anything could escalate. His hands still cupped your face as you both looked into each other’s eyes, ‘sneaking’ small glances at each other’s lips.

“I love you too.” He said, his words filled with genuine adoration.

“Cool,” you muttered in disappointment. It was too short for your liking. Jay was shocked, wondering why you didn’t say it back. He waited so long just for you to say it once?

“I love you too, okay? Stop overthinking it.” You said, playfully rolling your eyes. His facial expression made it quite obvious as to what he was thinking.

“Now, come here.” You said, pulling him into another kiss while dropping his cap on the concrete ground beside him. Luckily, this one lasted much longer than before.

Even if he didn’t participate in anything related to the Drama club, he still got himself involved with one of their members, right?

That should at least count.

Ξ © HAKNOM, 2024

746 notes · View notes

miinatozakiii · 28 days

Text

wishing on you

park jihyo x fem!reader ; angst, fluff

synopsis: no matter what path is avoided, which turn is taken, it always leads the two you back to each other.

wc: 13.2k

warnings: alcohol ; cursing ; reader is part of twice ; men… ; kang daniel mentioned ; april's naeun mentioned ; jealousy!! ; pining!!! ; woooowww slowburn(?) ; lots of slowburn ; they're oblivious ; only half of it is proofread ; wtv else i didn’t mention

a/n: hey... sorry for the fake news, this is to make up for it. april fools!

you’re two raspberry beers in, there’s no way you’re backing down now, especially not with your stubborn attitude. jeongyeon pours you a shot of some strawberry soju and you gladly accept with a bright smile and loud chuckle.

how could you not drink more, to be fair, you had just won another award for fancy, you deserved this.

half the members are laughing as you drink more, you were always one to be a heavy weight anyway, always able to take twice as much as the members could. it was entertaining to see you down another two shots of that same soju, and even after all that, you still had room to have a bit of the makgeolli that nayeon had brought.

it’s clear that the rice wine from the eldest is what fucked you over; the flush of crimson on your cheeks made it evident that you couldn’t think clearly anymore, so was the swarm of giggles that filled the air. the members—either drunk or on the verge of that—watched you, they cheered and laughed themselves, especially jeongyeon.

jihyo simply rolled her eyes, taking another sip of the beer that she didn’t necessarily fancy. she watched half the members laugh along with you and placed her chin on her palm, her lips turning up into a soft smile.

momo and nayeon argue about something dumb, then jeongyeon butts in and chaeyoung starts laughing until tears start to spill. out of nowhere, jihyo feels a weight on her shoulder, then turns to see you smiling and all flushed.

your eyes seem like they’re sparkling, and maybe that’s the light reflecting off your eyes, or maybe it’s because the leader of your group is all you can see in your hazy state. maybe all of the above.

“jihyo… you’re so pretty” it’s slurred coming from you, but the truth nonetheless. jihyo laughs at your statement and leans back against the wall behind you two.

“and you— are drunk” she responds, “i’ve seen you drink a lot but this is… well, a lot”

“i like… yes, strawberry.” you mutter against her, closing your eyes. “and you park jihyo!” you add with a giggle.

“yeah… whatever you say.” jihyo responds hesitantly. the leader of your group giggles again, it’s the kind of giggle that brushes off a joke, but this isn’t a joke at all. you pout, then shake your head while closing your eyes unnecessarily tight.

“you think i’m joking?” you ask, the tone of your voice sounding like you’re a kid that’s been declined candy. jihyo smiles weakly at your response.

“you’re just drunk silly, let’s get you someplace else before you start saying things you don’t want to.”

“hey… why don’t you believe me…” you sigh, lifting your head away from her shoulder and facing her fully. you place your hands on jihyos shoulders and firmly hold them, then affirm, “i like you, lots.”

drunk words are sober thoughts. every word that spills from your lips is laced with the raw honesty of pent-up emotions that have been brewing inside you for years. from the moment you first laid eyes on her, you were captivated by her beauty. minute after minute, day after day, year after year, your admiration for her only deepened. you've become adept at concealing these feelings, but now, in your drunken state, all pretenses have fallen away, leaving you completely transparent and vulnerable.

despite your best efforts to bury your emotions, they've finally bubbled to the surface, laid bare for all to see. but still, jihyo’s trying to figure out whether this is real or if the alcohol is making you say all this.

jihyo chuckles nervously when your voice raises, afraid that you’ll draw attention from the rest—who, are all too invested in their bickering to even notice.

“you’be been drinking quite a bit y/n, let’s get you someplace else.” jihyo says, smiling.

she places a hand on your cheek, feeling the warmth of it leak into her own hand. jihyo takes her hand off and stands up, making you frown in the in process.

“alright, i’m going to get going. i don’t want to drink too much, i’m already tipsy myself.” jihyo announces to the table, then looks down at you. “y/n here needs to go back to the dorms, i’m gonna take her back and take care of her before she goes ballistic.” she adds, giggling lightheartedly.

the rest of the girls laugh, then nod before teasing you a bit. your arms find their way around jihyos torso, hugging onto her loosely as you try to comprehend the overwhelming environment. the world spins a little and you’re afraid to get up, scared that if you let go of jihyo, you’ll lose balance and fall.

“please stay, don’t leave…” you say, clinging tighter.

the leader of your group feels her cheeks warm up as you cling on, you’re not one to get too clingy, and even if you do, it’s rare— and reserved for your leader.

as you follow her out the room, she holds the handbag that you entered the little gathering with, making sure it’s safe with her.

jihyo’s hand is also holding yours, sending an electric, warm feeling throughout your body with each step you take out the building and towards the uber she had called.

you get inside first, then jihyo follows and sits right down next to you. as soon as the door shuts, you’re quick to lean right into her again. it seems that being so close to her eases your overwhelmed, alcohol-infested senses.

throughout the whole car ride to the dorms, you’re clinging to her and surprisingly silent, but your gaze is on her the entire time. jihyo shrinks in her place under your hazy look.

jihyo helps you out the car and into your shared dorm; you cling onto her arm the whole time. she fumbles for her keys and manages to unlock the door, surprisingly.

she helps you over to your room, walking past mina and nayeon’sj, then places you down on your bed, watching you lie down lazily before sighing.

“what did i say about getting carried away.” she mutters, then walks over to your closet to grab a large hoodie of yours. she helps you put it on, given you’re probably not in the right mind to really do much on your own.

when she slips it over you, the hood falls over your head, covering your eyes. jihyo chuckles softly before fixing it up so that your vision isn’t covered by the material, revealing your tired eyes. your gaze is fixed on her lips, almost glued to them, and your hands reach for her forearm.

“you’re so pretty.” you mumble, making full eye contact with her now. “so pretty since i've laid eyes on you.”

before jihyo can even process your words, she’s taken aback by your sudden movement, feeling the soft touch of your lips against the corner of her own. it's a gentle, innocent kiss, clearly not meant to be anything more—right? she feels you fall limp against her, your face falling to where the base of her neck meets her collarbone. as you rest against her, she can feel the weight of your body against hers, your arms loosely wrapping around her form. in your drowsy state, you pull her closer to you, causing her heart to quicken its pace.

there's this weird feeling in jihyo’s heart that is amplified when you lazily mutter against her neck, still, she decides to ignore it. she doesn't feel like adding another weight to her shoulders, especially not when it involves you.

your head hurts like crazy as soon as you wake up, and you want nothing more than to fall right back asleep. you're wearing an old hoodie and the blanket you have on is wrapped messily on your body, limbs peaking out from the cloth.

opening your eyes a little wider and scanning the environment, you take in your surroundings. you’re in the comfort of your own room, thankfully you made it out alive.

trying to slow your actions to adjust to the hangover, you sit up slowly, but it makes your head ring even more. you groan as you lean against the headboard, trying to recollect yourself.

in the corner of your eye, you notice a bottle of water and a packet of hangover pills. you reach for the water bottle, taking a small sip to quench your parched throat. the cool liquid soothes your dry mouth, prompting you to take a few more gulps in hopes of easing the pounding in your head. then you grab the packet of pills, but your hands fumble with the packaging, hindered by fatigue and grogginess. you let out a small, frustrated groan of annoyance before deciding to give up on the pills. with a sigh, you sink back into bed, curling up beneath the covers and closing your eyes once more, hoping to find some relief from whatever you had consumed carelessly the night before.

the knock at your door disrupts your attempt at going back to sleep, making you grumble. you hear the sound of it opening and hide yourself in your sheets more, trying to make yourself invisible from whoever it is that’s in your room now.

“hey, wake up.” jihyo says—you don��t respond or budge, instead grumbling again in response.

jihyo frowns before sitting down next to you, placing her hand on your shoulder that’s covered by the blanket. she looks at the packet of pills she had put on your bedside the night before, shaking her head at how crinkled they looked from your failed attempts at opening them.

“i bet you feel terrible, sit up and take the pills.” she reaches over to open the pills on the bedside table.

you roll over and jihyo sees your puffy face, squinted eyes, and messy hair from rolling around while your hoodie was over your head. she laughs at the sight, then helps you sit up against the headboard.

“how bad was it?” you ask, earning a tilted head from your leader.

“what?”

“did i do anything dumb?”

jihyo ponders, deciding to not mention the memory of you almost kissing her completely on the lips.

“no, you were just all tired and mopey.” jihyo teases, giggling. “you drank a lot.”

“did you take me home? i can’t remember much but i remember your face from last night.”

“yeah, i did.”

“sorry for the trouble.”

jihyo shakes her head at your apology, then hands you two pills and a water bottle. “just drink, breakfast is ready.”

something is off, something is very off.

jihyo's been growing distant. initially subtle, it’s clear now that she's been withdrawing from you, and it's breaking your heart. you find yourself questioning whether it was something you said or did. up until now, everything seemed fine between you two, leaving you at a loss to pinpoint any specific reason for her sudden change in behavior.

sharing a dorm with her only makes this worse. each interaction feels strained, despite her occasional smiles and giggles. it's clear that she's making an effort to keep things short and simple, adding to the discomfort and tension between you two.

it's aggravating, the interviews and forced smiles, the way jihyo flees from your eye contact; everything kills you. the members don’t really notice, you’re still acting like evrything is alright – since it is with everyone but jihyo – and so is your leader.

but sometihng is up, so you take matters into your own hands.

“mina.”

“yes?”

mina's laid down on her bed, the blanket enveloping her as she plays on her switch. she looks at you with a raised brow, curious as to why you’re in her room at this time.

“did you need something?” she asks.

“can i stay here for a bit?”

mina hums, scooting over to give you space on the bed. she watches you sit down and put your face in your hands, groaning before you lay down flat on the bed. you take one of her pillows and hug it tightly before mina sits up to look at you.

“alright, what’s going on?” she questions, “this isn’t like you. are you okay?”

“i think jihyo hates me.” you sigh, hugging the pillow tighter.

“what? why would jihyo hate you? you guys seem to be fine to me.”

you sit up again, looking at her with a pout.

“remember last month? that night after the awards we won? the night i got drunk?” you ask, mina nods and waits for you to continue. “well, i think something happened that night. jihyo's been distant ever since and— ugh, i just don’t know. i had to have done something.”

“all i remember is you two going back early, nothing really happened but you were really clingy.”

“like, how clingy?”

mina turns away and ponders, making a little “hmm” noise.

“i was completely sober, i remember seeing you cling onto her from the waist. your arms were wrapped around her waist, that’s all i remember. you were just really close to her, almost as clingy as sana is normally—without any alcohol in her system.” mina explains, shrugging.

“is that why she’s been distant? because i've been clingy? that doesn't make any sense.”

“you should talk to her.” mina suggests, “it’s the only way, and jihyo is understanding, it can’t be that bad.”

you fall back onto the bed and groan, covering your face with your hands. mina places a hand on your shoulder and shoots you an apologetic smile.

“what if she hates me and i only make it worse?” you mutter into your hands.

“only one way to find out y/n.”

after sulking in mina’s bed while she played her little game for an hour, you decided to get up and do something about the problem. mina gave you a little thumbs up before you left her room, wishing you the best and muttering a “close the door on the way out.”

you've never been so scared in your life, even the sixteen elimnations didn’t make you this nervous.

thinking to yourself for a moment you try to think of anything that could’ve happened that night. the lack of memory only adds to your anxiety, leaving you to question if you were too clingy or overly affectionate. did you say something that crossed the line? the uncertainty gnaws at you, and the only way to ease your worries is to talk to the worry.

jihyo hears a knock at her door, brows creasing when she looks over at it.

“come in.” she says, then she sees the woman who opens it, stiffening upon your arrival.

“hey ji.”

“y/n, hi.” she says, smiling at you. “did you need something?”

“can we talk?” you close the door, “we should talk.”

jihyo looks at your pleading eyes, then gives in.

“yeah, okay.”

you sit down on the chair in front of her bed, right in front of where she’s sitting. your posture is straight, jaw clenched, and fingers fidgety. shaking off your nerves, you begin to speak.

“have you been avoiding me on purpose? i feel like you’ve been distant, things are different than before.”

she looks down at her hands, then back at you.

“it’s not that i want to, y/n. i really, truly love and adore you as a member. as a friend.” the way she says friend makes your heart sting a little, but it’s fine, as long as you don’t lose her. “do you remember anything from that night after the awards for fancy?”

you pause.

“um, only karaoke with the rest. anything after that i... i can’t remember. i’ve been trying to because you’ve been distant since that night, did i do something?”

“y/n, i've been talking to someone.” jihyo starts, “i haven’t told the rest, but i plan to tell them when—or if things get serious with him.”

him.

“oh.” you simply respond. “is that why you’ve been distant?”

“that night, y/n. i don’t mind, you know, when you’re clingy and affectionate. it's flattering and makes me laugh but, i've also been wanting to talk to you about something else.” you nod at her, continuing to listen closely. “you kept saying these things like i'm pretty and... you even said you—you liked me?”

shit. you think, that’s all you can think of as soon as you hear it. of course, your crush on jihyo was there, but you pushed it down because hell, you were in the same group, you couldn’t let your stupid feelings get in the way.

“is it true?” jihyo asks you, breaking you from your short trance. “y/n, do you like me?”

“i mean, i used to, a lot. i mean i--”

“y/n, do you or do you not like me. i'm talking about right now, and that night, because i don’t know about you, but even if you were drunk, you tried to kiss me—you did kiss me, on the corner of my lips. even sana hasn’t been like that with any of the members.”

shit

“oh, oh my god. i’m so sorry, i— i wasn’t in the right mind, i don’t even remember--”

“it’s fine, but i'm just telling you this because you know, if you do like me and all that, it’s fine. we just—we can’t. look, you’ve been there for me all these years, we’ve been there for each other and i love you and appreciate you dearly, i do.” jihyo says, looking at you all stiff in your seat.

you feel like crying, it makes no sense to but gosh is this whole thing grueling. yet, despite the turmoil, you're determined to find resolution and mend whatever rift has formed between you and jihyo. your hands shake from nervousness, jihyo notices and reaches out, placing her hands gently over yours. she knows how to calm you down, she’s a natural leader after all.

“being with you, especially now—it’ll make things really complicated and difficult, and if things go wrong then our relationship with each other could affect twice you know? y/n, i care about you lots, and we need to keep this professional.”

“yeah, i get that.” you say, relaxing just barely as her thumb grazes your knuckle. “i’m sorry for kissing you and making you uncomfortable, gosh, i'm an idiot. i'm really sorry.”

“it’s fine y/n, i'm sorry for not addressing this. i should’ve said something sooner instead of not confronting you. let's always be true with each other from now on, yeah?”

“yeah. thanks. i really want what we had—well, what we have to just be normal. i really love you and want the best for you.”

“likewise.” jihyo agrees, smiling. she holds your hand, squeezing it lightly before getting up. “wanna go grab something to snack on? i'm hungry.”

you laugh at her, easing the tension. “it’s like, eleven.”

“you act like you didn’t sneak out at two in the morning when we were trainees, c’mon, you don’t want a little treat? the convenience store is right down the street~”

you roll your eyes at her and stand up. “alright, let me get my coat. you're paying though.”

after clearing up things with jihyo, things seem to go back to normal.

you two joke and laugh and have deep conversations as before, your feelings seem to die down too. along with this, she reveals more about the guy she’s talking to: kang daniel.

he's also an idol, pretty well-known – though not nearly as much as jihyo – and it seems that he’s one to attract. but sitll, he appears to be just a regular guy, he’s really just a guy—there's not much to him. yet, learning more about him still stings a little, you know you could offer jihyo so much more. but your priority is her happiness, and as long as she's content, you're willing to set aside your own feelings. the agreement to maintain a professional and uncomplicated relationship remains intact, even though it tugs at your heartstrings to see her with someone else.

you feel like you’re benched, relegated to the sidelines while watching your leader and daniel take center stage. there's an undeniable urge to be in the game, to replace him on the field. you can't shake the feeling that with you in the lineup, more points would be scored, the team would triumph, and everything would align perfectly. yet, for now, you're resigned to watch from the sidelines, silently yearning for your chance.

this whole relationship screws you over, but you have other things to worry about while being an idol and friend to your other members. you can’t let him win, so you’ll pretend to be fine, even if it tears you apart in the slightest.

you wonder if time with jihyo is worth it these days, what do you even gain out of it?

jihyo realizes she’s made a big mistake.

her relationship with kang daniel is public now, but as soon as it’s revealed, there’s an uneasiness in her heart.

this is all real, the public knows it, her members know it, and especially you.

she spends more time with you and daniel simultaneously, but there’s this weird feeling when she’s with him. while in daniel's company, there's a strange tension that she can't quite shake off, but when she's with you? it's a different story altogether.

she finds herself laughing more freely, smiling more genuinely, and experiencing an unprecedented sense of relaxation. just being around you feels effortless and natural, it reminds her how grateful she is with you.

everytime she’s with daniel, part of her – all of her – is itching to get away and find herself back to you. she sees you in places and people she’s not with, it’s weird, it’s eating her up inside.

as daniel sits next to her on his couch, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, she can't help but feel a sense of disconnection. despite his attempts at intimacy, her thoughts are consumed by you. it's a strange sensation, one she can't quite shake off. the scent of daniel's cologne pales in comparison to the aroma of lavender and vanilla from the fragrance you use.

and there he goes again, he starts to talk and it’s always about him, he never asks her about herself much. if jihyo’s ever talking about herself, it’s always her who initiates it. you were always one to ask about her day, how she’s doing, and you were simply attentive. daniel's rambles, words, and overall attempts at conversation these days—though well-intentioned, they fail to captivate her attention like yours do. she finds herself yearning for the moments when she can listen to your voice ramble on about anything and everything, or when she can ramble to you.

it feels like shes censoring or restraining a part of herself to daniel, but with you? it's the complete opposite.

it's strange, the uncertain feeling isn’t something she experiences when she's with friends or group members. only in daniel's presence does she find herself immersed in thoughts of you.

the preparation for more and more was rough on everyone, the choreo especially was difficult.

the choreo was exhausting, tearing the members apart at times. still, as the group you are, you all managed to persevere.

during one of the final dance practices, you catch from the corner of your eye jihyo leaning against the mirror, lips parted, hair sticking to her forehead, and staring into space daydreaming. she puts her head down for a moment before recollecting herself and standing back up, acting as if nothing had happened.

she stands in front of the mirror and sips on her water, staring at herself for a bit. it seems like she has a lot on her mind.

you walk over and put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump slightly before turning to you.

“oh, y/n. you scared me!” she says, laughing lightly. “did you need something?”

“you okay ji?” you ask her, “you looked really dead earlier.”

your leader doesn’t answer, too distracted by how you look at her. as she observes you, she notices the intensity in your eyes, the sweat glistening on your face, and in that moment, she's struck by your beauty. despite being sweaty and exhausted from the physically demanding choreography, your concerned expression and the tone of your voice have her speechless.

“hey,” you interupt her trance with your voice. using the small towel in your hand, you tap away at some of the sweat on her forehead. “you need to rest a bit more, take a longer break.”

“oh, yeah, sure.” her response is rushed, it slips from her lips without her thinking.

you pull out a water bottle and hand it to her, urging her to take a sip. “i think we’ve got it down pretty well, but it’s your call next time we run it again. take a break for now, i noticed you were fatigued during the dance break.”

jihyo looks at you a bit more, head tilted up just a bit to meet you. she scans your face again, brows creasing just barely as she takes in your visuals. you raise a brow at her sudden look, tilting your head a bit.

“yeah, you should definitely take a break.” you giggle, “you look so out of it.”

jihyo finds her cheeks warming up, it’s not from being exhausted and sweaty, something else brings a rush of warmth.

“sorry, just tired.”

“yeah, okay.” you laugh, rubbing away the sweat on the side of her face now with the towel in your hand. “you look funny like that.”

your leader watches you trudge away after the small interaction, perplexed at the sudden appeal in you. she's thinking about daniel, has he ever been that attentive? now that jihyo thinks about it, he’s never really done much about her stress or worries. he'd usually kiss her once and talk about himself in an attempt to distract her from her feelings. when you really take time to pay attention to her, it makes her feel all bubbly inside—daniel never evoked much of that.

jihyo wonders what it would be like if you were in daniel’s place.

“being with you, especially now—it’ll make things really complicated and difficult.”

her own words ring in her head as she watches you sit down next to chaeyoung, leaning on her and pulling out your phone to scroll.

jihyo feels conflicted, but there’s no time for that. especially not now, not when the comeback is soon.

you and your group situate yourselves for the inkigayo interview. minhyuk, jaehyun, and naeun are set to be the mc’s.

everything goes as planned, they introduce themselves before twice does, overall, the interview goes just as it should, but something irks jihyo.

the way you’re all situated makes it so that you stand next to naeun, who keeps glancing at you. jihyo can't shake the feeling of discomfort as she notices naeun’s behavior; the frequent glances, questions, and giggles directed at you make jihyo uneasy. the way you grow nervous and giggly in response to naeun’s attention strikes a nerve with jihyo, but she attempts to push down her weird feelings.

there's a subtle tension building within jihyo, she tries to maintain her composure with nods and forced smiles.

after the interview, all of you step out of the stage. the group gets together with the managers, but you’re pulled aside by naeun.

about three members pay attention to the interaction: sana and nayeon, who are the ones that stand closest to you, and jihyo is eavesdropping, trying to subtly listen in.

naeun tugs on the fabric of your top, earning your attention and a warm smile.

“hi y/n, i’m a big fan of you—and your groups’ music.” she says, grin spread across her face.

“oh, thank you so much.” you respond, bowing down slightly at her.

“i was just wondering, um, i think you’re beautiful.” she says shyly, “and you seem sweet too. would it be alright if we exchanged numbers? i'd love to talk to you more.”

your cheeks flush at the sudden question, you nod eagerly, nonetheless. naeun hands you her phone and you type your number in, making her smile brightly at you. you smile back the same.

“thanks y/n, you’re cute. we should grab a coffee sometime?”

“oh, yeah, i'd love that. sure, yes.” you answer.

naeun smiles at you once more before waving and heading back to jaehyun. when you turn around, sana and nayeon are raising their brows at you teasingly.

sana nudges your shoulder with hers and giggles, making an “ooo” sound. you roll your eyes at her, then nayeon joins in on the teasing.

“oh she was totally hitting on you. look's like y/n has some admirers?” nayeon’s remark earns a wave of dismissal.

“she probably just wanted to be friends and stuff, stop thinking so hard.”

“or maybe you need to think harder. she called you beautiful and wants to take you out, basically.” hearing sana say that earns a dust of pink on your cheeks, you shove her playfully. “y/n is blushing~”

“i’m not! stop that.” you groan, but the smile on your face makes it evident that the idea interests you.

jihyo eyes the three of you bickering, a frown finding its way to her lips. could naeun really be asking you out? and you—are you really going to do it? the thoughts frustrate jihyo, she decides to turn away and focus on anything else, joining in on the maknae’s conversations.

but the thought lingers in her mind: could you really be considering this? and why does it bother jihyo so much?

daniel invites jihyo over again and everything is the same as always. jihyo steps in and he kisses her as a greeting, jihyo kisses him back, placing a hand on his shoulder. she pulls away first, she always does.

he suggests a movie and some snacks, to which jihyo responds with a “sure,” because she doesn’t know what else she could possibly do with him these days. he sits down on his couch, turns on the tv, and pats down a space for jihyo. it's weird, she doesn’t immediately lean into his touch, instead he initiates something and jihyo tends to reciprocate.

daniel talks over the movie playing, something about the solo he’s working on and some recent schedule changes, but the woman in his arms isn’t listening. daniel frowns, bringing a hand to her cheek and turning her face so that she’s facing him.

jihyo almost flinches, pulls away from his touch.

(but she doesn’t, because what would that mean for them?)

“you alright? is something on your mind?” he asks, snapping her back to reality.

jihyo's eyes widen slightly, she eases away from his hand, then shakes her head.

“oh, sorry, just... the recent comeback.”

“ah, i see, i get it.” daniel says, giving her a little look of sympathy – jihyo can’t tell if it’s genuine, though. he smirks, the corner of his lip tugs up a bit, then suggests something as he puts a hand back on her cheek, “i know a way to get your mind off things, to get our minds out the gutter.”

and just like almost every moment with him, jihyo finds his lips on hers. she reciprocates – hesitantly – then gives in. it’s slow and whatnot at first, then daniel starts to get bold and plays with the hem of her shirt. before he can get further, jihyo pulls away, her hand on his chest and eyes partially closed.

“daniel i—um, we should take it slow. can we continue the movie?”

he looks at her confused, then furrows his brows. “oh, okay?”

daniel gets off of her and fights back a frown, but still, he settles by putting an arm back around her and pulling her close. the movie still plays, it’s not the most interesting but it’s better than anything with daniel. thirty minutes fly by and the movie still plays, though jihyo’s mind is elsewhere, probably thinking of you. when she turns to the left, she notices that daniel is asleep, almost too quickly despite what had just happened.

jihyo shrinks away from him, she fights back tears, wanting to leave and return to the dorms—anyplace where you’re nearby.

—

a book is in your hand, you’re reading some novel that your friend had shipped from the states. thankfully, you could read more than just literature in korean, works in english are great.

you're hunched over a bit, reading the book that sits under the glow of the lamp at your desk until you hear a knock. when you open the door, jihyo stands there, looking terrible.

“jihyo? what are you—hey, are you okay?”

she sighs, then looks at you pleadingly. you let her in with no questions asked, sitting down on your bed and patting down a space for her. she sits down next to you, leaning against your shoulder, a tear spills from her right eye. with your thumb, you rub it away, cupping her face gently.

“do you want to talk about it?”

“later.”

“okay. do you want to stay here tonight?”

...

“yes.”

“okay.”

you turn off the lamp on your desk and place a bookmark in between the pages of your book, then close it. jihyo lies down first, and then you slip into the sheets no later.

“come closer, please.” jihyo practically pleads, to which you respond with a hum.

the two of you stare at each other, barely able to see each other in the dark, but still making out features and expressions. there's no words exchanged throughout any of it, jihyo just stares and stares until she puts a hand on your forearm. and then you feel that it’s right to dip a foot in the water, placing your hand above her waist and applying a little pressure to move her closer to you. jihyo scoots over a bit, then moves her hand over your body, pushign herself closer and into the crook of her neck.

she feels herself relax in your presence, not wanting to let go or create more distance between the two of you. the warmth in her chest is completely foreign from whatever she feels around daniel, she wants to stay in this position with you forever, she’d much rather be like this with you than daniel.

and then she hears you mutter a, “goodnight,” the tremor of your voice sending a shiver down her spine and making her feel all tingly. jihyo thinks that she could spend years in your embrace, just this moment alone makes her think that all that time with daniel was a waste if she had the ability to just barge into your room and stay close.

—

when jihyo wakes up, she catches you applying a light layer of makeup. you're focused on the mirror, attentive to the detail.

she watches you for a moment more and decides to sit up when you rummage for some jewelry in your drawer. you catch her in the corner of your eye and turn to her, smiling.

“good morning.”

“are you headed somewhere?” jihyo asks, because it’s only eight thirty in the morning when she checks her phone and you’re already up and running, despite having nothing on your schedules.

“remember naeun? she invited me out for breakfast, then we were going to... i don’t know, just spend until the afternoon together.” jihyo might cry, she feels her heart sink at your words.

you look beautiful, and the thought of naeun seeing you like this, spending time with you, making you laugh? it strikes something in the leader. she watches you put on a necklace, silently processing everything. too many possibilities and worries run through jihyo’s head. you've just held her in your arms, comforted her and slept in the same bed with her, practically tangled together—and now, you’re going on a little date.

“hey, you alright? you look like you’re in a daze.” you say, looking at jihyo curiously.

“sorry, just tired still.”

“then you should sleep more.” you suggest, “sleep in, you can stay in my bed.”

“when are you going out with naeun?”

“soon, like basically now—oh, did you want to talk about what was troubling you? i’ll postpone or cancel if you--”

“no, no.” jihyo says. she shakes her head and purses her lips. “go have fun, i'm just going to sleep a little more.”

you examine her a little, narrowing your eyes at the woman in your bed and trying to pinpoint any hint of, well, anything. you can’t really pick out what’s going on or what might be troubling her, so you decide to let it go for now.

“let me know if you need anything, okay? i’ll respond right away.” your response kills her inside, knowing that you’re out of reach, despite your words, and who else is she supposed to tell about her troubles? how she felt about daniel and you; she can’t even figure out her own feelings.

you sit down on the bed and brush a strand of hair back, fixing her tousled hair. your eyes go from her eyes to her lips, then to her hand that you now hold. you squeeze lightly, then look her in the eye again.

“i’ll be back in the afternoon, okay? let me know if you need anything. just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you don’t have your own feelings. text me, love you.”

jihyo gulps, and when you let go of her hand, she fights the instinct to reach back for yours.

naeun shows up wearing her hair up in a ponytail. she has on a long black coat over her white top, beige slacks, and whtie sneakers. she's pretty, there’s no doubt.

breakfast with her goes smoothly. you order fluffy pancakes with fruit, a simple latte, and indulge in two pieces of dark chocolate on the side. naeun opts for two pieces of french toast, a side of fruit, and a cup of tea. as you engage in small talk, you find her anecdotes and jokes genuinely amusing, often catching yourself covering your mouth to stifle laughter. her occasional flirtatious remarks elicit smiles from you, though you can't help but notice a slight detachment from the warmth you'd normally feel in such situations—but at the same time, this is your first... date?

the two of you walk down the streets and find yourself in alleyways, simply talking and taking a few pictures here and there. time with her is nice, but it’s weird feeling so... normal with her. your heart doesn’t do flips, you’re not blushing as much as you figured you would, and it feels like you’re hanging out with a friend rather than on a date. maybe that’s what this is.

naeun calls a ride around noon, saying something is on her schedule at two. you nod, understanding her reason of departure. she smiles at you, you smile back, and then she furrows her brows a bit, still grinning.

“i spotted some cameras around us, we’ll probably be on some headlines.” she says, fixing her bangs absentmindedly. “i’d kiss you if they weren’t here, you look adorable right now.”

maybe it was a date.

you smile shyly, feeling your face burn at the bold statement. “probably, that’s fine though. and thank you.”

she laughs softly and it has a nice ring to it. “let’s see each other again sometime, i enjoyed this.”

“me too.”

“i’ll see you, y/n.”

“yeah, see you.”

when she gets into the car, you wave at her, then immediately, your attention is back on your phone. jihyo had lingered in the back of your mind the whole date, you figure it’s because she seemed to have a hard time earlier. there are no new messages other than a text from your mom, a few notifications from the group chat with your members, and texts from naeun that you never got to read—she found you right after she texted anyway, there was no need to respond.

nothing from jihyo, unfortunately. you find it strange that you went all this time (three hours) without hearing a single thing from her. it makes you frown slightly, but you shake it off for the time being and call a ride back to the dorms.

when you get back to the dorms, jihyo isn’t there. you're dissapointed after hearing mina tell you that she’s out for lunch with daniel, jihyo never told you she’d be out for lunch.

mina eyes you while you take off your jacket. “you were out on a date?”

“how’d you know?”

“little article or something that nayeon sent to the group chat, ‘april’s naeun and twice’s y/n spotted grabbing brunch together.’” she says, reading off her phone. “nayeon and sana were teasing you as well.”

you sigh. “of course they were.”

“well, did you have fun?” mina asks you, raising a brow. “do you like her?”

it takes you a moment to respond, you have to think about it.

“she’s nice.”

“so you like her...?”

“maybe. i guess we’ll have to go out more to figure that out.”

“hm.” she looks at you, it seems that she’s trying to figure out something. “okay.”

you don’t question the uncertainty in her look; instead, you walk over to your room, deciding to lie down and reenergize.

as your outings with naeun become more frequent, you find yourself with fewer opportunities to engage in meaningful conversations with jihyo, or anything jihyo related. likewise, jihyo's increased outings with daniel and her focus on work leave her with little time to dwell on the uneasy feeling in her chest whenever she sees another headline about you and naeun. it's not like you two are public about your relationship, of course you weren’t, the media would be at your throats. but still, your members know, and if jihyo knew you’d feel a little guilty.

(you don’t know why, but that’s how you think.)

the next comeback takes your attention away from a lot of things, takes your energy away, takes time away from only the two of you – you and jihyo – not anyone else.

the distance between you and jihyo seems to grow with each passing day, overshadowed by the presence of others in your lives. there's a weird gap between you two, you seem to talk to anyone but each other these days.

[1:05am]

you: are you awake?

jihyo looks at her phone after it buzzes, wondering who could possibly be texting her at this hour. she’s in the living room watching some movie, the tv there is better than her laptop. she picks up her phone, looking at your contact and the contact photo of you that she had set – a picture of you before blowing out candles on your first birthday while in twice – then responds.

[1:07am]

jihyo: yes

you: what are you doing?

jihyo: on the couch watching a movie, why are you up?

you: just not tired. had an americano earlier.

part of you wants to mention that it was when you were with naeun, but you decide to leave it out. you don’t like to mention naeun really, not with jihyo at least. you don’t really know why, but it feels right not to.

you: can i join?

jihyo stares at the phone for a bit, she wouldn’t mind your company, if anything—it's been a while since the two of you have been alone.

jihyo: come.

you smile at your phone, you don’t usually smile at messages.

jihyo looks away from the tv once she spots you, you’re dressed in an oversized hoodie and shorts that cut off five or six centimeters above your knee. a smile is thrown her way and that same smile tugs at the leaders' lips.

you settle down next to her, a small, evident space in between that neither of you want there. jihyo continues the movie, pressing the “play” button and you sink back a bit, moving your hips up and lounging against the cushion. your body moves a bit when you do so, in a way that makes it so that your shoulders are touching. the small detail makes both of you concentrate on the movie more than necessary.

a few minutes pass, then you decide that’s enough silence. your turn your head and ask, “how have you been?” it’s a simple question, really, but it still catches jihyo off guard.

“good, you?”

“i’m good.” you answer, and then you look at her for a moment more. “how are things with daniel?”

jihyo tenses up a bit, the last thing she wants to think about is him. “alright. what about you and naeun?”

“oh, yeah we’re alright.”

the two of you stare at each other for a bit, unsure of what to say for a bit.

your head falls to the cushion of the couch, you lean against it, keeping eye contact with jihyo before your gaze softens.

“are we okay?”

“what do you mean y/n?”

“i just, miss talking to you. it feels like forever since we’ve been... alone.”

she chuckles nervously. “i mean, i guess. the comeback has been... tiring. i'm glad we have this day off. plus, we’ve been spending time with... well, you know, our...” she wants to say lovers, but it throws her off. is lover the right word for daniel? boyfriend is, maybe, but that’s just a label. still, she doesn’t want to say that.

"yeah," you respond, the word heavy with a tinge of disappointment. and then you stare hard at jihyo, studying her under the soft glow of the living room lights. you take in every detail—the gentle curve and sparkle of her eyes under the dimmed lights, the natural beauty of her bare face—and commit it to memory, because who knows when you’ll have time to look at her like this again.

you realize that wow, you’ve missed this view – her, park jihyo – and part of you feels bad because you and your girlfriend naeun have spent so much time together lately, yet nothing about naeun makes you pause in place like this. your brain is tangled in a knot, you don’t know why.

“you look really good with the red hair.” your voice is soft, it’s gentle. “you look beautiful with anything.”

as the memory of you drunkenly complimenting her flashes through her mind, jihyo experiences a sense of déjà vu. this time you're sober, and the words you speak hold genuine sincerity.

“thanks.” her tone appreciative. she leans into the cushion, and now your heads are at the same level, the eye contact much more... intense.

jihyo doesn’t say half of what she’s thinking. you look great too, you always look astonishing. your current hairstyle, particularly the shorter, dark hair from this comeback, suits you remarkably well. the way the stylists style your hair, you, and just everything, jihyo tries not to stare too hard during rehearsals and filming. and now, god, especially now, now with your slightly disheveled hair, your sleepy eyes, bare face and leisured look. now with that voice of yours coaxing her to relaxation; you’re as captivating as ever.

she feels her voice grow fainter as she answers, “you look pretty too.”

“thanks miss leader.” you mutter lowly, which earns a giggle from the two of you. the little remark earns a dying tension that was in the air, and now your shoulders are fully touching after you scoot closer.

your arms are linked after you make the bold move, excusing the action with an “i’m cold,” but there’s no need for an excuse because jihyo’s fine with it. if anything, jihyo’s glad that you’re all touchy like this (even if it’s just a linked arm).

the movie that’s playing has already been ignored, acting as background noise as the two of you converse about who knows what. the only thing that matters is that you’re giggling like you used to, your cheeks are warm, and you’re starting to get a little sleepy.

when your words start to slur, jihyo shortens her answers and talks a little less, watching as your head falls to her shoulder and feeling you shuffle into a more comfortable position. when you fall asleep jihyo doesn’t budge, instead glancing at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world and—

it hits jihyo. there’s a striking, obvious reason that she feels the way she does towards you, why she’s been distant and hesitant with her interactions. never has her heart felt this warm or right with daniel.

her brows crease a little when she realizes, but for now, you’re asleep and content, so maybe she should be too instead of adding another worry on top of the comeback.

besides, she’s comfy right there with you, and you’re clearly feeling the same.

she closes her eyes, sighing quietly, allowing one of your arms to slip behind her back and the other over her lap so you can loosely wrap around her waist. her head gently falls to rest against yours, and soon she's fast asleep, one hand nestled in your hair while the other rests against your forearm. in this peaceful moment, she finds solace in your presence, feeling content for the first time in a while.

nayeon is still tired when she walks into the living room, but the sight of your arms lazily wrapped around jihyo’s waist, your legs messily laid out on the couch, and jihyo laid down at an awkward angle seems to wake the older member up.

taking her phone out, she giggles, then snaps a picture that’ll be used against the two of you in the groupchat.

(and little do you know, when both of you wake up to see the picture that’s sent, you’ll save it even if you act annoyed, both of you adding it to your favorites without letting anyone know.)

the comeback takes up all your time and energy, having to wake up for the pre recordings, interviews, and then trying to go about your day normally like you’re not about to pass out any moment takes a toll on you.

you've been seeing naeun for a couple of months now, of course you enjoyed spending time with her and whatnot, but when you kissed her, touched her intimately those few times or did anything romantic? it just felt... off. you didn’t mind, you’d initiate some of it, but that didn’t get rid of the fact that something was missing.

there was the thought of jihyo doing these things with you, and you had to shake your head to get rid of that thought. jihyo doesn’t like you, not like that, and she’s with daniel. she’s probably on cloud nine with him, maybe all sappy and romantic, happy. the though of him making her feel like that makes you frown. you felt terrible when you thought like this, of jihyo – so you felt terrible most of the time – because naeun was with you, and she should be enough. she is enough, but that didn’t stop you from wishing she were jihyo sometimes.

(all the time.)

spending time with naeun takes a lot too, and you’re much more cranky, less talkative, and just being around her feels like it’s hurting both of you. there’s no spark anymore, even when you kiss her or when she kisses you. making out with her feels like a chore because there’s worries in the back of your mind and stress piling up. your troubles take a toll, it goes on for almost a month before naeun decides to leave what you two have as just friends. you agree without hesitation, realizing it’s the best for both of you, but you wonder why you’re not as... emotional.

in return, jihyo knew her schedule would take the time with daniel away from her – not that she minded – which led her to make the same decision that naeun had made (but with daniel, of course. if she were with you, what could possibly lead her to break things off with you? who would ever do that?)

when she unties the knot with daniel, it’s like a weight is lifted of her shoulders, and now the comeback doesn’t seem half as bad, it’s almost as if daniel were the reason she’s been so uptight and stressed. jihyo thinks that can’t be because—well, the person you’re with shouldn’t make you feel like that, they should make you feel relaxed and bubbly and sappy and as if your head is in the clouds.

and that’s exactly how she feels when she gets those small moments alone with you.

both of you are aware of the realization, yet neither wants to confront it directly, opting instead to push the mutual feelings aside.

it lingers between you, unspoken yet palpable, as you both silently grapple with its implications, unwilling to acknowledge its weight.

“it’ll make things really complicated and difficult, and if things go wrong then our relationship with each other could affect twice you know?”

for the next couple of months until your next comeback, your relationship with your leader seems to creep back to its normal self.

with the other members you’re found inching closer to the leader, it’s honestly not on purpose but by default. it just happens.

then there’s those times where you’re alone, giggling and talking like nothing matters, like life as an idol is a breeze because really, it is when you have someone like jihyo by your side. someone you can reveal your deepest worries to, somone you can talk to without judgement, just someone you can lean on. jihyo is exactly that.

of course the members notice, but that could just be another mina and chaeyoung situation, where you’re both close and that’s it. of course, there’s much more than just being close, hell, mina and chaeyoung are more than close these days – you’ve caught them being a little too touchy and affectionate for it to be something that’s just friends – but that’s just how they are. you and jihyo on the other hand, that’s a different case, but everyone is too occupied to really look into it, so the two of you continue to be close, closer than ever without thinking much of it. afraid to think more about what it is.

alone time with jihyo becomes more frequent, including outings that used to be with naeun, dinner that used to be with naeun, laying in bed that used to be with naeun and... well, everything that used to be done with naeun. except each time it feels much more rewarding and tender.

your heart does more flips than it ever did with naeun, and jihyo could say the same in regard to daniel.

“alcohol free” is a hit, there’s no doubt about that. when there’s a hit, there's wins, and when there are wins, there is a night of celebrating.

(karaoke for hours, drinks, more drinks, and even mrore, and then meaningless laughs and conversations between you and your members.)

jihyo sits next to you with her second beer of the night, she can feel herself growing loose and looser. you’re still on your first beer, despite it being half full, you’re eyeing the soju on the table.

mina's the only one not drinking, while tzuyu takes just a few sips before passing her strawberry-flavored beer to you, her eyes wary of getting too tipsy. jeongyeon, already pretty drunk, leans heavily on momo, slurring random words. everyone seems to be on their way to wasted, or simply having a great time.

you turn to the left to see jihyo laughing away, about what? who knows. all you know is that she looks effortlessly pretty, smile lighting up the room and eyes all squinty in a way that makes your heart ache, yearn, scream, all of the above. you think that she’s looked the best this comeback (you always think that with each comeback); her cheeks are a little sun kissed from filming the music video, she seems brighter, and especially with her mid length hair, the way it frames her face so nicely, you could kiss her, maybe just a press to her cheek, and if she lets you, maybe a little more—

nope. you can’t do that. you stop yourself from thinking further. you turn away, cheeks burning from something else that’s not alcohol, something that you don’t want to acknowledge.

there’s the sinking feeling in your chest and now you’re a little scared that what you’ve had to drink will amplify it – it basically already has – so you slow down a bit, trying to get down from that temporary high. the pit in your stomach gets worse when you glance back at jihyo, who’s already looking at you with stars in her eyes.

your skin tanned during the shoot, drawing some flak from a handful of netizens, but also garnering heaps of adoring, and a couple suggestive comments from others online. jihyo understands the appeal when looking at you, the tanned skin, nice features, and the dark, wavy, long hair that you’re pulling off for this album. of course, jihyo loves tzuyu, adores her really, and cares for the youngest, yet, whenever she glances your way, she can't help but think you'd fit the "visual" title just as well. maybe even better.

she leans over a bit, just enough so that her lips graze your ear before she says, “you look cute, y/n.”

“oh, thank you.” a giggle is added to mask the uneasiness in you before you distance yourself a bit. “i don’t feel the best, i think i might head back earlier.”

“so soon?” she tugs at your arm, pouting. “what am i supposed to do without you here?”

don't say that.

you grin, it’s forced. “c’mon, you’ll be fine without me. you look like you’re having fun already.”

“only because you’re here.” her words are a little slurred. “you make everything so... nice. yeah, that’s right, that’s the word.”

“well, i'm glad—but i really am tired. i gotta go, you have fun okay? just think of me and... things will be nice. you're not very alcohol free.” the stupid joke is followed by a giggle, and despite how corny it is – usually jihyo would punch you lightly and roll her eyes – jihyo feels like she’s just been punched in the gut.

you stand up and jihyo fights back the urge to pull you back, maybe into her, just close, that’s all she knows. the space next to her feels cold now, and the room feels darker as soon as you say your goodbyes. jihyo thinks it can’t get any worse, but then you move over so your lips are centimeters away from her ear, muttering a “think of me, i'll be at home” which definitely amplifies the ache in her heart.

home, that’s where jihyo wants to be as soon as you leave the room. she wants to be with you, maybe that’s what—or who home is.

when you get into your cab, you can’t help but think abotu jihyo more. the hurt in her face as you left, and the thought that she might like you too crosses your mind, but that can’t be, she rejected you a few years ago.

there's still that chance that her feelings changed, just maybe she feels even the slight attraction you feel with her. your feelings never really died down, adn you realize that maybe it was wrong to get into a relationship with naeun while your feelings for jihyo were still under the surface.

after you shower and get ready for bed – mind in a flurry the whole time – you’re bascially completely sober. you're still alone in the dorm, opting to try to organize your thoughts and conflicted feelings until you get a little notifcation on your phone.

you reach over, squinting at the screen.

[12:00am]

jihyo: i wish you would’ve stayed. miss you.

...

[1:30am]

y/n: miss you too.

jihyo’s flustered and nervous, cursing at herself and practically pulling her hair out as soon as she reads the text she sent. she's at your door before you even wake up the next morning to apologize to your half-asleep self. you wave her off and mutter a sleepy “it’s fine, really,” which soothes her.

the two of you pretend that night never happened after the apology, and then for the next year you run in circles. run around your feelings, run away from them. it's better, less complicated.

when the two of you manage to finally come to a point in your lives where the mutual feeling isn’t eating you two up, something else decides to swoop in and bring you back to square one.

“dates?” nayeon laughs a little. “like, wine and dine? or...”

you laugh too because, what, a date? a vlog of... a date with one of your members. it sounds silly, but also fun at the same time. you're already on board to this “2wice date” idea that the director had suggested, and it’s one of those things that makes your job much more amusing.

the rest of the members seem to be on board, and then you’re given the pairings, which renders you stiff in your seat.

“nayeon and tzuyu,” the director says, making the rest of the member's giggle. the oldest and the youngest, that would be fun to watch, fun to poke at and think about.

“mina and chaeyoung,” well, they’ve already been on dates, practically (probably) already a couple whether they know it or not. you watch chaeyoung smile like a little kid, a smile taking over. mina looks at her and a small smile tugs at her lips too. you only poke at chaeyoung.

“sana and momo.” alright, that would obviously go fine, they’re already attached to the hip anyway and—

the realization hits you: there’s only one pairing left. all the others are paired up, leaving you and jihyo.

jihyo's gaze lingers on you, and for half a second you catch her eyes widening in realization before she quickly composes herself. meanwhile, you're doing your utmost to keep it together. just when you believed you had moved on from her, or at least accepted that it wasn't going to happen, all those emotions come rushing back. you're certain this revelation will keep you tossing and turning at night until the date finally arrives.

the idea of going on a real date with her feels like cupid taking aim at your heart—but not in the traditional romantic sense. it's more like cupid wielding a gun instead of a bow, the bullet tearing your heart wide open. yeah, that's a better comparison.

the members tease each other after everything, but out of all the pairings it’s you and jihyo who get poked at the most. you feel like your heart might burst, and jihyo feels the same.

both of you sit on jihyo’s bed for a bit, trying to think of an idea for your date. neither of you want to admit it, but you’re both equally as giddy for this little episode.

jihyo suggests going for a drive, some coffee, and then a garden. it seems romantic, so romantic that you wonder if it’s alright taking on this whole thing.

“that sounds great.” you end up responding, smiling at jihyo as you say it. she purses her lips together and forms something that’s also a smile, the two of you laugh for no reason and a little spark starts a flame in your heart.

the cameras roll, it’s time to act like you’re not about to lose your mind. you're officially on this date with the prettiest, most charming woman you know, right as that recording button had been pressed.

“alright, let’s go for a drive.” and with that you follow jihyo, getting into the white car on the passengers side.

you observe jihyo starting the car, paying no mind to the managers awkwardly third-wheeling in the backseat. she shoots you a smile, and all you can do is laugh, raising the camera in your hand and pointing it at her as she maneuvers out of the parking spot and hits the road.

the car ride remains eerily quiet for a significant stretch because you simply can’t stop looking at her. jihyo doesn't seem to mind much (although deep down she does, but with cameras rolling, she has to keep her cool), and she keeps the conversation flowing, steering it towards simple, everyday topics. you manage to slip in brief responses while your eyes drink in the contours of her side profile, her beauty laid bare before you.

“y/n, you and i. we used to spend so much time together, alone.” the sudden switch from teasing nayeon and tzuyu’s date catches you off guard.

“yeah, especially before alcohol free, we still spend time together, no?”

“you’ve been straying away from me these days.” of course she’s saying it jokingly, but deep down you both know that there’s a small rift starting to form as you try to run away from your feelings. “do you remember what we’d do?”

looking out the window, you nod and say, “yeah, i remember we’d watch a lot of your shows. i never was a big movie or show person, but jihyo always managed to have me finishing multiple series’ and movies in a week.”

the two of you giggle. “you enjoyed them though.”

“some. you've made me sit through questionable things. it was always late at night though and i knew you had issues with sleeping, so i always said yes because i just wanted you to be well rested.”

a small silence envelops the air before jihyo breaks it.

“wow,” she turns to you since the light is red, her eyes appreciative. “thank you.”

“anything for twice’s leader.” your words manage to break the ice.

when you two get to the cafe, jihyo links her arms with yours and you almost drop the tripod holding the camera.

your cheeks flush as you place your order, and then jihyo steps in, graciously paying for both of you with the corporate card, causing your blush to deepen. thankfully, you're wearing a mask; otherwise, fans would have a field day with this. they'd find a way to capture your flustered moments regardless, probably compiling them into a youtube compilation.

there's a little outside area of the cafe, so of course, the two of you find your way out there.

“it’s so pretty outside, but my date is prettier.” jihyo says to the camera, making you push her gently.

“oh god, you’re being quite the romantic.”

“why wouldn’t i my love?” jihyo teases, using the pet name that makes you cringe inwardly. but deep down, you can't deny that a part of you secretly adores it, even though you all pretend to be grossed out by it when the cameras are rolling.

you roll your eyes before posing on a bench for jihyo, laughing at the way she positions herself in order to get a perfect angle of you.

(jihyo thinks that every angle of you is more than perfect.)

after jihyo finishes snapping pictures and showering you with compliments as if she's actually your girlfriend—though she isn't, and you have to constantly remind yourself that this is all for the sake of that little date episode—you switch roles. now, you're the one capturing moments, aiming your camera at her. you're in awe, wanting to preserve each shot you take on your little film camera, each one is worthy of being framed in a museum.

“you’re beautiful,” you accidentally say out loud, which makes jihyo blush in return. there's no chance that’s getting cut out.

and then you’re back in the car, but before you walked over you made sure your arms were linked, locking them tightly as if she’ll float away. jihyo gets into the driver's side and you make a small comment about being her passenger princess.

“passenger princess?”

“it’s a funny little thing, never heard of it?”

"you can be a princess all the time, not just when you're my passenger, my love," jihyo says, but immediately cringes as the words leave her mouth—not because she dislikes the term of endearment, but because it feels a bit too intimate in front of the cameras. then, the two of you burst into laughter, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. you figure the more she says “my love” the more you’ll get used to it, maybe even crave hearing it when the cameras aren’t rolling and in your dorms, as normal.

the final destination is some water garden, it’s beautiful out. the two of you find a little table to sit on and decide to have a deeper conversation there.

your heart does a flip, a tumble, and almost beats out your chest when jihyo says, “i’ve always been really captivated by you.”

“what?”

“i’m serious. i mean, all of twice, they’re all special to me, but you’ve always stood out, especially these days.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” jihyo affirms.

you flash her a grin, then quickly turn away, attempting to compose yourself. deep down, you know the editors will have a field day with how much of a nervous wreck you are, but you try not to let it show.

“you’re one of the prettiest people i've laid eyes on, you know? ever since i first met you on sixteen.” you admit suddenly, looking down. “everything about you has caught my attention since then, you’ve only grown brighter these days.”

“is that so?”

you nod. “i mean, everyone has been brighter. these days, everyone seems to be close and happy, i'm glad.” you pause, and jihyo waits for you to continue. “i’m just really glad we’re happy these days. i've done everything i can to keep everything from being complicated.”

the realization hits, she makes complete eye contact with you as you say it. your eyes stare hard into hers, like daggers pointing at her. and then you look down again, playing with your hands.

"sometimes, i don't know, i feel a little overwhelmed with how i feel and everything, but after spending time with you like this," your words now directed solely at jihyo, a shift she can clearly sense as her heart tightens. "i start to think that maybe... maybe it's okay if things are complicated. because we've dealt with complicated stuff before and managed to work through it. but sometimes i still avoid things and it makes the feelings worse. sometimes, you have to complicate things to reach an outcome that'll make everything alright. i think about that a lot, but i'm not sure if i'm wording it right. i think i want to complicate things now that i think about it.”

you're not sure if any of what you're saying will make the final cut, and even if it does, the viewers might not grasp the real meaning. but as jihyo's eyes soften while she looks at you, you find yourself locking eyes with her again. there's a silent understanding passing between you, and suddenly, your words seem to resonate on a deeper level, shifting the atmosphere. jihyo understands, and in that moment, it's as if her heart breaks free from its constraints.

“i think you’re right y/n. maybe complicating things is worth the trouble.”

“yeah.” is all you can say.

a brief silence settles, but it's far from uncomfortable. you share a smile with jihyo, and a few seconds pass before the two of you effortlessly shift the conversation back to discussing your fellow members and how both of you have grown over time.

in that lingering silence, there's a final understanding, unspoken yet palpable. you realize that this moment, right here, is probably the most content you've felt in a while. and judging by the serene expression on jihyo's face, she feels the same way too.

minutes later, you snap the final pictures, finding a swinging seat by the water to settle on. jihyo leans against your shoulder, and a sense of warmth and contentment washes over you. as the managers stand in front of the two of you, holding your film camera and waiting for a pose, jihyo moves away slightly and then leans her head back against you. with a soft smile, she puts up a little peace sign, and you instinctively mirror her gesture as your heads gently touch.

a rush of confidence floods through you, emboldening your actions. you turn your head slightly so you can whisper into jihyo's ear, "can i kiss you? on the cheek."

she turns to you in surprise, her face almost meeting yours due to the proximity, then nods with a slight flush on her face. "yes, of course you can."

for the next picture, your lips gently land on jihyo's cheek, your hand instinctively cupping the other side of her face to draw her closer. jihyo smiles big, the happiness evident in her expression and pink cheeks. there's no doubt that once this picture is developed, the two of you will spend a good amount of time gazing at it, admiring the moment captured on film.

“i’m happy we got paired.” you admit, the camera capturing your words.

“me too, i'm really glad.” jihyo responds

you and jihyo don’t talk much after the date, when you reach the dorms, jihyo is afraid to say anything really. this is the first time she’s had to think so much about, well, the two of you for the first time in a while.

“that was a lot of fun.” you simply say trying to ease the tension. “it was lovely.”

“i liked it a lot.”

you nod, and look at her, searching in her eyes for something. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine, y/n.” her tone is unsure, a little apprehensive.

“right, okay.” you narrow your eyes at her, then sigh. “i’ll be in my room, if you... need anything.”

jihyo doesn’t utter a word, instead she lets you walk away, watching you turn back to meet her as you step inside.

a wave of emotions crashes over you, and a part of you—perhaps all of you—wants to cry. the date wasn't bad, but now everything feels... strange. it's not uncomfortable, but you can't shake the feeling that maybe jihyo didn't quite understand what you were trying to say during your ramblings. maybe she was just being polite, playing along, and she'll give you a gentle talk later.

flopping onto your bed, you close your eyes and rub your face with your hands, feeling the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. you resist the urge to tear your hair out, but the turmoil inside you remains, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of what comes next. what could possibly happen after this? after acknowledging years of these unspoken feelings, you really can’t pinpoint a—

you shoot up from your bed at the sound of a knock on your door. you quickly run through the possibilities—nayeon is out with momo, and tzuyu has a shoot—leaving you with one answer.

it's jihyo, it’s definitely jihyo.

unsure why, you’re a bit scared. she's at your door waiting, all you have to do is open it and figure out what might happen next. the anticipation grills you.

you open it, looking down a bit to see jihyo.

“y/n.”

“hey, are you—”

“i can’t keep doing this anymore.” she says, looking and sounding conflicted. “after today i realized that, i don’t know, i really love you.” she pauses, waiting for you to say something, anything. when you don’t, she continues. “all these years, i was a fool for saying all that, you know, the professionalism and complications. i realize now that it only made things worse and, gosh, years, years, i've been fighting back how i felt about you. how i still feel about you and, this whole date thing—y/n, i can’t imagine waiting any longer or fighting back anything any longer.”

everything that jihyo says seems like a fever dream, part of you doesn’t believe she’s saying all of this. you're frozen in place, staring at her with your jaw dropped a little, wanting to say something, anything, but you can’t.

“please say something, i know you felt this way about me initially and--”

“kiss me.” you interject, shakign your head in disbelief. “just--”

jihyo doesn’t wait for another word from you. in an instant, she closes the distance between you, and oh my god, her lips are soft, she's perfect. it's surreal— you're kissing park jihyo, the culmination of years of inner turmoil, fighting against your own desires. everything you've daydreamed of and hoped for is finally happening, and it's even more incredible than you imagined. it's all so right.

you close your eyes tight, afraid that if you open them she’ll be gone and this will all unfold into a dream. but you feel her hands on your cheek and it proves that yeah, this is all real. you can’t help but smile, jihyo feels it as you kiss her. she feels herself smiling against you too.

stumbling back a little, jihyo closes the door behind the two of you before you both fall backwards onto your bed. she pulls away from the kiss to catch her breath properly, and you can barely open your eyes in the haze of the moment. but when you finally manage to, you see her smiling down at you like you're the most precious thing in the world, like you're everything she's needed this whole time and honestly, you are.

all those years of uncertainty, but she was always certain about you. no matter how hard she tried to push it down, it was you she needed. and now, it's real—nothing is complicated anymore, who cares if it’s anything even close to unprofessional or complicated. you don’t, that’s for sure.

you hold her in place by her hips, gently keeping her in place before eagerly catching her lips again, cupping her cheek as you kiss her deeply. you never want to pull away, never want to stay apart from her from now on.

all those years of pining, and despite how conflicted you felt, it was all worth it if it meant jihyo kissing you now, and by the end of the night: in your arms.

everything was worth it if it meant her in the end.

#miinatozakiii #twice imagines #twice x reader #kpop x reader #jihyo x reader #park jihyo x reader #twice jihyo #park jihyo #jihyo imagines

396 notes · View notes

dilemmaontwolegs · 4 months

Text

Not A Verstappen: Lights Out {4}

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: The triple header is turbulent with some serious bad luck hitting your Monégasque man. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, fluff, angst, smut WC: 3k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten NAV: Lights Out One || Two || Three || Four || Five

The Triple Header - Austin

Between the distraction of Lando and Charles arriving together, and Daniel making his grand return for Alpha Tauri, you were able to sneak into the paddock through the secondary staff entrance. You were sweating beneath the hoodie that swamped you but as soon as you were in the McLaren garage you took it off.

“This feels weird,” you murmured as you watched Lando get into his racing gear.

“It will probably take a while to get used to,” he said, kissing you as he reached for his balaclava. “But you heard what the doctors said, it’s a miracle we didn’t lose her with what happened. You know how hard the races are on our bodies.”

“I understand that, but it still feels weird. I don’t like missing out on things.” You sighed and opened the door for Jon who was waiting for Lando to start his warm up. “I’m going to check in on Charles. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Though you could hide in Charles’ garage for the race there was nowhere to hide when Lando pulled into the third place parking spot. There was nothing that was going to stop you from waiting with the rest of his team and between your mother and his father, they kept you safe from the jostling engineers eager to clap their driver on the back.

Everything seemed to be going great and you had avoided all the media crews wanting to get a statement. You had to admit it was satisfying to watch Aston Martin struggle to pull 9th place for Lance and a DNF for Fernando so it was a good thing a microphone didn’t come close to you.

Everything was going great as you and Charles watched Lando take the podium before they both went to shower and change. Unfortunately word came that there had been two disqualifications. Charles seemed to have a sixth sense when bad news was coming and his smile dimmed before his engineer even relayed the information. Charles and Lewis were both disqualified.

Sinking into the couch in Lando’s room, he hung his head in his hands and sighed. The sound made your heart ache and you could feel all the pressure he was under in that heavy exhale. He was already concerned about how his points compared to his teammates but this would make the gap even closer and add to that worry.

“I’m sorry, babe,” you said as you sat beside him, lacing your fingers with his while Lando took his other hand.

“This sucks,” he groaned before looking at Lando. “At least you’re second place now.”

“Suppose,” he murmured. “Doesn’t feel like I earned it though.”

“You don’t know how much Lewis’ car could have been affected by the worn plank, it might have been a matter of tenths off the second without the proper weight,” you reminded him before biting your lip and looking at Charles. “No offence. It wasn’t your fault anyway, you’re the driver, it’s your mechanics who should be checking that the car meets the regs.”

“I know,” he murmured as rose to his feet. “I’m going to the pit then I’ll head back to the hotel.”

Lando had more media duties expected of him and he nodded his head towards Charles’s back. “Go with him, love, I’ll catch up after.”

You hung back in the shadows while Charles gave a statement in the media pit. You could feel the disappointment in his words but he tried to be positive for his fans and you knew he was a better person than you, because there was no way you could have praised your team in that moment like he did.

Thinking about your team, you looked over to Fernando who was able to smile despite his DNF. He was just happy to be back in a race car after finding his brief retirement too boring for his liking. Unfortunately the two disqualifications had bumped Lance up higher in the points and he spotted you watching their interview, sending you a cocky smile that had your fist closing.

“Ready to go?” Charles asked as he was finally free of his duty.

You tore your eyes away from the green uniform across the pit and nodded, grateful for the distraction. “Yeah, glad to go.”

Charles sighed and kissed your forehead as he draped an arm over your shoulder and led the way to the exit. “Me too, mon amour.”

The Triple Header - Mexico

“You look like you could do with a drink,” Lewis said as he joined you on the balcony above the pitland and offered a glass of amber liquid. “Don’t worry, it’s non-alcoholic tequila. It’s the first batch, reserved for special occasions only.”

You took the glass with a small smile. “Thanks, Lewis.”

“Congrats, by the way,” he whispered.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you almost choked on the smooth drink you had sipped. “For what?” you tried to play off the shock with coyness.

Lewis shrugged and looked down at Charles pacing in the pit lane. The two drivers had bonded over their DQ and it was Lewis who had been able to talk Charles into going out to celebrate Lando’s second place in Austin last week.

“They aren’t exactly the best at keeping secrets,” he chuckled, turning around to rest his elbows against the rail. “Especially once they’ve had a few drinks.”

“Trust me, I know. It’s only a matter of time until everyone else does too.” You swirled the liquid around the glass, amazed at how much it tasted and looked like the real thing. “I just want to enjoy the little bit of privacy we get for as long as possible.” Lewis coughed a laugh and you rolled your eyes. “I know it’s impossible, but I’m still going to try. ”

“I wish you all the luck in the world, honestly,” he said with a sincere smile. “And if you want any more ‘tequila’ to keep up the ruse, let me know.”

“Thanks.” You smiled at the offer as he pushed off from the rail and made his way down to Mercedes for the race. You felt the cameras on you and couldn’t help raising the glass to them before swallowing the last mouthful. Rumours had been swirling around social media since Fernando replaced you, but that photograph should at least put the brakes on the pregnancy rumours - even if they were true.

“Aren’t you meant to be keeping a low profile?” Lando asked when you stepped into the garage. He nodded his head to the footage of the pit lane on F1 TV and cocked a brow at the shot you took.

“Relax, it’s Lewis’ Agave. It’s really nice too,” you said as you velcroed his collar into place. “It was a gift, along with his congratulations.”

Lando took your hands and held them against his chest. “I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

“Mhmm, I’ve heard that a few times now,” you chuckled. “I’ll see you after the race, be safe.”

“Always,” he promised, letting you go so you could speak to Charles before he disappeared into the grid.

Your throat was hoarse by the time the race finished and you hardly looked ladylike like the other WAGs when you celebrated Charles’ third place on the podium. It felt like it had been too long since he last stood up there with Max and you were ecstatic for him after the fight he put up.

“I’m so proud of you,” you gushed as you sat on Charles’ lap in the bar. The atmosphere was charged with excitement and you could see Lando and Max were well on their way to being drunk but Charles was happier to take it slow with a few beers. “You do realise you have a permanent sober driver for the next six months, you can drink, babe.”

“I know,” Charles chuckled as he watched Lando dance wildly. “But I am happy like this, seeing you and Lando happy.”

“Of course I am happy, I have you and him, and little bean, and Fernando DNF’d…”

You both watched Lando for a few minutes before Max clamped a hand over his mouth and started to drag him towards the booth you had taken. “Shhh, stop telling people. Ow, did you just bite me?” Max stared at his palm and saw the teeth marks in his skin.

“Mon cher, ça va?”

“I’m fine,” Lando grinned as he unbuttoned one of the few remaining ones on his shirt, baring even more skin that was flushed with colour. “I’m fucking amazing.”

“He was about to tell the whole club about your little surprise,” Max explained as he shook his sore hand out.

“I hate keeping secrets,” he whined as he shuffled across the booth and under Charles’ arm. You combed your fingers through his damp hair and he pulled your legs over his lap as he snuggled closer. “I just want to scream it to the world.”

“I know you do, mon cher, but not yet. Just a few more weeks and the season is over,” Charles reassured him. “It’s safer this way, you know how crazy it can get with fans.”

He sighed and dropped his head into nook between your neck and Charles, mumbling his agreement but that it still sucked. His racing heart slowed with the hand running calmingly up and down his spine and he eventually looked up with sleepy eyes. “Can we go? My tummy hurts.”

Charles smiled softly and nodded. “I think your head is going to hurt more in the morning.”

The Triple Header - Brazil

One week's good luck was all Charles was given. It was almost as if he was too happy and the universe needed to balance that happiness out. Starting from pole should have given him the best possible chance of holding the lead but then he disappeared from your view on the formation lap. One moment he was in the camera’s view as it panned around the corner and then he was gone, even the cameraman looked confused as he searched for the bright red Ferrari.

“Why the fuck am I so unlucky?!”

The voice in your headset was absolutely broken and the cameraman finally found Charles crashed out - yellow flags flying before the race even began. You only listened long enough to hear that Charles was uninjured before you left the Ferrari garage that you had been watching from.

The back paths were empty with the race gearing up to start without Charles so it was easy to break into a jog. You met him halfway around the track, his helmet still adorning his head that was bent down. He didn’t notice you at first, walking straight past you as he continued his walk of shame back to the pit lane. When you fell into step beside him he almost growled thinking you were a marshal trying to kick up a conversation to get an autograph.

He stumbled to a stop when he saw your face in the narrow slit of his visor. “Amour, what are you doing here?”

You reached for the buckle under the helmet and pulled it over his head, tucking it under your arm while he tugged the balaclava off his face. “I thought you might want some company.”

The whine of the engines spurring their cars off the starting line had Charles flinching and you cradled his face in your palms. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Not your fault the car is a piece of shit,” he murmured as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours until the cars had passed. “We should get back, the team will be wanting a debrief.”

“No, fuck the team. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, find a priest?”

You chuckled at the seriousness in his tone and shook your head. “I don’t think god has that power. He might have turned water into wine but turning your tractor into a race car might be beyond his capabilities.”

Charles snorted a laugh, taking his helmet back with one hand and holding your hand in the other. “Fine, let’s hope our man has better luck then.”

It was easier to dodge the few fans around the obscure ends of the track but Charles still chose to traipse through the trees instead of the footpath. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone and you respected that as you walked quietly beside him, catching glimpses of the red flags through the mesh fence until you got back to the garages and saw the carnage that had opened the race.

“Where did you want to watch from?”

He looked down the pit lane where Redbull separated McLaren and Ferrari. He was torn between loyalties and your heart ached for him before you made the choice that would hurt least.

“Come on, there’s spare clothes in Lando’s room.”

He kept his head down as you led him into the back of the McLaren motorhome, waving off anyone who attempted to approach him. “It will take a while for them to clean up the mess on the track. Why don’t you shower and change before we go back?”

Charles nodded sullenly while you locked the door to Lando’s driver room but he made no attempt to undress as he stood looking lost and broken. He barely breathed as you dragged the zip down his body, pushing the suit over his shoulders before pulling his fireproof shirt off.

“I wish I knew the magic words to make you feel better,” you murmured as you kissed his collarbone. He hadn’t even started the race but the suits were so hot that his skin tasted salty on your lips. “But, I do know one way to distract you…”

His chest finally moved as your hands dragged the rest of his suit down his muscular legs and you dropped to your knees in front of him. Green eyes darkened as he watched you lick your palm before wrapping your fingers around his cock and stroking him to life. His lips parted when you moistened yours and sealing them around his tip and a soft moan filled the room.

The sounds slowly grew louder as you took him deeper in your mouth and you revelled in the sweet praise he gave. His large hand gripped the back of your head as he surrendered himself to the escape from reality that you offered and you moaned when his cock pulsed with his release. The taste of his come coated your tongue and you swallowed it down before licking your lips clean of the saliva that had run down them.

“Shit,” Charles groaned as the door handle rattled, but it was Lando’s voice on the other side and he relaxed at the sound.

Charles reluctantly stepped into the shower cubicle as you opened the door and Lando stole a kiss as a greeting when he entered. He hadn’t seen Charles but his eyes darted around the room as he tasted the lingering musky residue on your lips, pouting at missing out. “You started without me.”

“You still have a race,” Charles pointed out as he turned on the shower.

Lando’s lips turned down and he took a seat on the couch, pulling you onto his lap so you could both watch Charles shower through the glass window.

“He was rather miserable,” you whispered. “He can’t wait for the season to end.”

Lando could understand why. It was an odd position he found himself in because the more points he scored then the more stress was placed on Charles’ shoulders. It was a double edged sword that he hadn’t quite thought about when he envisioned dating a driver.

“I can’t blame him,” Lando muttered. “Just two more races. Hopefully his team manages to fix the car for them. It sucked seeing him spin off like that. I knew he was fine, but it still freaked me out.”

You saw his worry in the form of a frown and forgot that he had been behind the crash. “We have been lucky there hasn’t been any serious crashes this season,” you mused as you rubbed his frown away. “It was bad enough before, but now…” You placed a hand on your stomach and shook your head. “I never want to know that kind of worry.”

There weren’t any words of solace he could find without lying so instead he distracted you from the thoughts with a searing kiss. Soon Charles stepped out of the shower with a towel slung low on his hips and Lando debated staying longer, but he reluctantly shifted you to his side so he could stand.

“You can watch from upstairs if you want,” Lando offered Charles as he watched the water droplets run down his chest. “Or hide in here.”

Charles chuckled knowing ‘hide’ was absolutely a euphemism for what you would actually do. “We will watch you, mon cher,” he assured him with a kiss. “Go and fight Max for first.”

Lando grinned at the thought, loving the challenge that was unlikely but still something to aim for. “Will do, but it should have been you, love.”

Charles shrugged, feeling a little lighter after blowing off some steam and the shower. “It is what it is.”

You heard the announcement over the PA system and checked your watch to see how long there was until the restart time. “Go, your team will be waiting. I’ll take care of Charles.”

“Again?” Lando laughed as he stepped back to the door. “Give the man time to rejuice, baby.”

“Focus on the race,” you reminded him as you opened the door. “I’ll still be here when you finish and then you can think about my mouth all you want.”

You enjoyed the soft groan that clawed up his throat at the thought but you closed the door with a laugh before he could step back in. “Go. We love you!”

“Love you too,” he replied before testing the door handle one last time and finding it locked. “Fine, I’m going.”

Click here for next part.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #formula one imagine #formula one fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 x reader

648 notes · View notes

thef1diary · 5 months

Text

What You Need | D. Ricciardo

Requested by @imacutiepatootie “thought about Daniel with what you need by the weeknd, like maybe with smut idk just him and the weeknd 🤭”

Warnings: 18+ smut, daniel and his filthy fucking mouth, mature language, fingering, reader cheats on unnamed bf with daniel, penetrative sex.

Pairing: daniel x fem!reader

wc: 2450

Note: literally had no idea how to summarize this

Looking back at your house one last time for the night, you focused your gaze ahead of you.

I just want to take you there

You spotted the bright blue McLaren parked further ahead, away from your house and already had a smile gracing your face.

As many times as you told him to drive a less flashy, unrecognizable car whenever he's coming around to your place, he would never listen.

You walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. As soon as you turned to greet him, he was already looking at you with the most beautiful smile you've ever seen.

Before you could utter a word, his lips were already on yours, but you weren't complaining at all. A small groan left your lips, having missed the feeling of his soft lips.

He don't gotta know where

"Hi Danny," you muttered against his lips once you separated but your foreheads were still touching.

"Hey sweetheart," he whispered back, placing a brief kiss on your forehead before parting away completely.

As he began to drive and focused his gaze on the road, yours was still on him.

"You had to bring this car?" You asked, attempting to look stern but he just chuckled.

"Only the best for my girl," he held your hand, bringing it closer to his lips before placing a light lingering kiss.

Does he touch you here like this, this, this, this?

"What if someone sees? Or worse what if he sees?" You ask, still suspicious of being caught by the person who was your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend was unfortunately not the one sitting next to you, but he was at home, already sleeping due to an early morning shift at work tomorrow.

Daniel sighed but didn't say a word. Stopping at a red light and spotting no other cars around, he placed both of his hands on your cheeks, bringing you in for another kiss.

Let me take the friction from your lips

This time, it was slow and sensual. He knew you well enough to know he could make you forget about your lover you left at home with a simple kiss from him.

There was some light music in the background, but all you could hear were his low grunts as you lightly grazed his bottom lip with your teeth. You teased him further by slightly pulling it, before letting go and pressing your lips harder against his.

There were few streetlights around, making the sin you're committing with him seem more enticing in the dark.

The red turned into green, and Daniel parted away. Fortunately, there weren't any cars as he looked at you for a moment too long before releasing the brake.

And I'ma love you girl

"you were saying?" Daniel asked, a cheeky grin on his face as you failed to remember the topic you were speaking of moments ago.

"It's not important if I forgot," you shrugged, sitting back in your seat properly but your sights never moved away from his face.

As he continued to drive, the streetlights illuminated his face perfectly.

The way you need

You trailed your eyes from the curve of his nose, to his sweet soft lips that you just can't get enough of, down to his neck.

You couldn't help yourself but reach over to his side and place one of your hands behind his neck before attaching your lips right underneath his pulse.

For a moment, he was allowing your actions but then he blinked and realized that he wouldn't be able to drive in a straight line if you continued.

Ain't no one gon' stop us

"Baby," his voice had deepened and you internally smiled at how your actions affected him. But you didn't stop.

You grazed your teeth down his soft skin before using your tongue to drag back upwards. "I missed you so much, darling," you muttered in his ear.

While one of his hands remained on the steering wheel, the other settled on the back of your neck to pull you away.

"Behave," he instructed sharply, but both of you knew how much it affected him as he shifted in his seat.

"Where are you taking me?" You asked, choosing to behave for now, but you would resume your ministrations later.

His hand that held the back of your neck was now resting on your thigh as you sat back down properly. "Are you in the mood for some ice cream?"

Ain't no one gon' stop us

You nodded, "I'm also in the mood for something else."

"I know, but unless you want me bending you over the hood and fucking you while everyone around us watches, be patient."

You clenched your thighs together, forgetting that his hand was resting there until it was too late. He smirked, "you want that? Want to show everyone how fucking wet you get for me?"

"Only you," you shook your head and slid your hand down to cover his, slowly moving it closer to where you need him the most.

And I'm gon' give you girl

Although he riled you up further, he continued driving until he reached the drive-thru line, a few cars up ahead.

Once he started strumming his fingers on the steering wheel, matching the beats to the music playing, you knew he was intentionally ignoring you.

You should've been used to it by now. At how he riles you up til your soaking and needy for him, and then he praises you for doing so well.

But you weren't. You just needed him and your patience was running thin.

What you fiend

His hand inched towards the inside of your thigh, moving higher. You held your breath, not wanting to say anything that would make him move away.

Four cars were queued up in front of Daniel's McLaren.

His fingers lightly skimmed over your clothed pussy, feeling the heat through your shorts.

You couldn't help but whine as he retracted his touch, instead teasing his fingers across the waistband. He pulled it away before letting it snap back in place.

"Danny," if he didn't do anything soon, you were convinced that you'd combust.

He looked over at the pout hiding your smile, and laughed at your state. "That desperate?"

You closed your eyes before nodding, giving him what he wanted. But then, your eyes quickly snapped open when you felt his fingers slip underneath the waistband, teasing your folds over your panties.

I'm the drug in your veins

"Fuck, you're so hot," he almost gasped once he felt the damp patch, wishing he could see it.

Three cars ahead, and Daniel didn't even stop moving his fingers as he released the brake pedal for a brief moment.

His own restraint was slowly breaking apart, especially after feeling what he did to you.

His fingers skillfully moved your panties to the side, finally dipping the tips of his fingers in your wetness as he glides through your folds.

The back of your head hit the headrest, eyes rolling back as you tried moving your hips closer to his hand.

You shifted your hips forward, giving him more access to your body. This allowed him to dip his finger deeper, almost to the second knuckle.

"Fuck Danny," you moaned, your hands eager to hold onto something as the pleasure radiated through your body.

Just fight through the pain

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, his gaze stuck on the way your pleasure takes over your expressions. The heat rising on your cheeks, reddening them. The little bead of sweat forming on your forehead.

"Spread your legs," Danny swiped his finger through your folds once more before stopping his movements until you listened to him.

You brought your right leg up, the heel of your foot against the edge of the seat while spreading your other leg.

Despite spreading your legs, Daniel could feel how your pussy was attempting to clench around his fingers, wanting to envelope them.

He gave in, not inserting only one but two fingers. One of your hands grabbed his arm to ensure he doesn't pull away while the other made its way to the headrest.

He's what you want, he's what you want

Only two cars in front, and Daniel looked at you with a mischievous smile as an idea popped into his mind.

"Cum on my fingers before I order, or I won't let you cum at all tonight."

Your eyes widened as your head snapped to look at him but before you could protest, his fingers curled just right, making you let out a loud moan.

He laughed at your desperation when you started grinding yourself on his fingers.

While his fingers were deep inside you, his palm teased your clit. Moving ever so slightly in circles, making your vision blurry as you fought to keep your eyes open.

"Please Danny," you pleaded, wanting his help.

I'm what you need, what you need, what you need

"What do you need sweetheart?" He asked even though he knew the answer, he just needed to hear it from you.

"I need you, your fingers," your voice was beginning to become hoarse.

As soon as those words left your lips, he slipped in a third finger without any resistance.

He couldn't thrust his fingers faster due to your shorts restricting his movements so he resorted to thrusting deeper.

He's what you want, he's what you want

There was only one car remaining before it was his turn to order.

Daniel replaced his palm with his thumb rubbing your clit, bringing you oh so close to your sweet release.

You groaned his name, "so close, 'm so close" you muttered, not being able to string a proper sentence together.

"I know baby, let go," he dragged his middle finger against the inside of your walls, finding the spot that made you quite literally see stars.

As Daniel pulled up to the drive-thru speaker, you had become putty in your seat. His fingers remained inside you, stilling, while his thumb continued rubbing your abused clit in slower circles.

He looked at you once he ordered the ice creams, pulling his hand out before lightly tapping your lips with his wet fingers.

You eagerly opened your mouth and lapped your tongue around his finger, tasting every last drop of your own cum.

He reached over quickly to press a kiss to your lips. "You were so fucking good for me," he whispered in your ear before driving forward to the window.

I'm what you need, what you need, what you need

Your mind was wandering in the blissful nothingness with a smile on your face so you didn't realize when he paid until he held the ice cream cone in front of you.

He continued driving until he found a secluded spot surrounded by nature. Daniel turned to face you, a smile growing on his face as he listened to you speak, and a small part of him hoped that he could have you like this everyday.

But he quickly dismissed that thought knowing that if he mentioned it, it would ruin the mood for the rest of the night.

Instead he focused on your tongue darting out to lick the ice cream, the white creamy sweetness gathering in your mouth.

If you weren’t looking at him as you did the action, he would’ve thought it was unintentional. But your teasing smile told him otherwise.

You flattened your tongue against the cream, making direct eye contact as you dragged it upwards. You watched as his own eyes darkened, and he brought his face closer to yours.

“Do you want some of my ice cream?” You asked him, seeing as he already finished his.

He nodded, but instead of taking the cone you offered, he kissed you and used his tongue to take the melted ice cream gathered on your tongue.

“You’re so fucking needy, made you cum and you still want more?” He gripped the back of your neck, his thumb right on your pulse point feeling the beats quicken.

I'm what you need, what you need, what you need

“Fuck yes, I need you so bad, don’t you want me?” You looked up at him with the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen.

He didn’t respond, pulling away and opening the car door. You watched him with confusion but it all made sense once he opened the passenger door and helped you out.

“Need you so bad I can’t wait anymore,” he placed his hand on your lower back before pulling you into him.

He trailed his lips down the side of your neck, inhaling the familiar scent of your body wash. Your arms rested on his shoulders, a hand crawling into his hair.

I got everything you want with me

Daniel grasped your hips, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist and you obeyed easily.

You hadn’t adjusted your panties back in place, so your wetness stained your cotton shorts making it stick to your skin. He settled you on the hood of his McLaren, pulling you even closer.

You tilted your head back to look at him, your hands teasing the waistband of his pants.

I do everything he does times three

As the light rose, the darkness began to fade. The sin you had committed many times before with Daniel was hidden in the darkness, but for the first time, you had spent the entire night until early dawn with the man you had begun to love.

Daniel had bent you over the hood of his car wearing nothing but your shirt barely covering your ass as he thrusted in and out at a steady pace.

You rested your cheek against the warm hood, but it was quickly pulled back as Daniel had wrapped your hair around his fingers.

“So good, fuck you feel so good Danny,” you whined, feeling your pleasure tenfold as you forgot how many times he made you cum.

He leaned over you, bringing his lips near your ear as he whispered, “better than him?”

Your eyes rolled back as he thrusted deeper, and you nodded. “Yes, better than him,” there was no doubt that Daniel was better than your boyfriend in so many ways, and now you began to question why you’re still with him.

And he don't gotta know

Unbeknownst to you, your phone had been buzzing incessantly on the car seat. Loads of messages and a few calls, all from your boyfriend as he only had one question; where are you?

#daniel ricciardo #formula 1 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #thef1diary fic #f1 x reader #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel riccardo imagine #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo fanfic #f1 smut #smut #request #f1

610 notes · View notes

lookismfanfics · 1 year

Note

Jay x Daniel Older sister (they are about 10 mins apart)

So when Daniel and the reader transfer to the school, Jay takes notice to both of them. Jay and Daniel become best friends and he slowly sees himself falling in love with his best friends sister. Daniel is slightly overprotective of the reader since he had such a deep relationship with her but realizes Jay is genuinely nice and allows him to date his sister.

Can you please write so people with colored-skin can apply to it as well? So just mainly no blushing? Thank you! Love your writing by the way ❤️

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞...?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

Warnings: Jealousy, mentions of bullying, sibling-ness. Also… the POV switches from 3rd to 2nd POV.

Jay Hong x Fem!Reader (who is also Daniel Park’s twin~)

𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐯 ❦ It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Daniel Park was different.

❦ Good-looking, charming… even a little secretive.

❦ From the moment we walked into the room all eyes were on him… ranging from the cautious, steely eyes of the jocks; to the love-stuck, infatuated gazes of the girls.

❦ Jay was one of the people to notice Daniel. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.

❦ Daniel was handsome. He seemed like to guy to have resources at his disposal, like Jay. And yet he was kind to everyone… protective of girls and outcasts… a very confusing person.

❦ And maybe Jay had noticed his clothes were a little rough… but when it was really pointed out and suddenly Daniel’s dignity was on the line, Jay affirmed he would do something about it.

�� Of course he was interested in this new transfer student.

❦ …Of course he was fascinated by his selflessness and seemingly endless kindness.

❦ So that day when Jay decided he would make a move— show Daniel that he wanted to be friends, he was surprised.

❦ The street glowed orange and yellow, the sun’s rays gently warming Jay’s numb hands that clasped around the duffel bag.

❦ He sees Daniel walking down the pavement, his impressive form highlighted by the sunset’s colors. Even if he hardly knows him, Jay wants Daniel to have a decent birthday. He’s not certain why… but he needs this to work out.

❦ And Daniel perks up, eyes widening with recognition. He smiles, and calls out in a voice that Jay senses will become a source of comfort:

(aYo why is this turning into Daniel x Jay…?)

❦ “Oh… Jay! You live around here too…?”

❦ Jay doesn’t say anything, just tosses the bag on the ground and smiles.

❦ And there’s the real birthday surprise…

❦ “Daniel?”

❦ A girl’s voice.

❦ “Who’s this?”

❦ Daniel is crouched on the ground, rummaging through the bag and exclaiming surprised comments. And as much as Jay wants reply to him- he’s all of a sudden distracted.

❦ “O-Oh… (Y/N)! This is Jay, from my class.”

❦ Jay feels his stomach drop. Who’s (Y/N)?

❦ She stands behind Daniel, glancing down dubiously at the duffel bag before glancing up at Jay. She’s pretty.

❦ “What’s this for…?” She asks quietly, staring at the back of Daniel’s head.

❦ “Jay, you knew it was our birthday…?”

❦ “…”

❦ Jay is panicking-

❦ 🚨 🚨 🚨

❦ “Our” birthday? What does he mean…? Jay can feel his lips parting, his mouth intaking the warm air as he tries to steady his breathing.

❦ “…” “Huh? Oh! You didn’t know I had a sister? Ah- she’s in a different class… beauty department.”

❦ Beauty department… it suits her.

❦ “Oh, you think so?” Daniel laughs. Beside him, still eyeing Jay with suspicion, is (Y/N).

❦ “I’m a little hurt you didn’t mention me… but anyway. I’m sorry Jay, but we really can’t accept this…”

❦ Jay nods his head rapidly.

❦ Her previous look of confusion is slowly molded into one of tentative understanding. Glossy lips tilting upwards into a soft smile.

❦ “You were throwing them out…?”

❦ Daniel starts translating then… all to which Jay nods.

❦ And as much as he wishes he could say something else… or watch him try on the clothes… or genuinely ask if they could be friends…

❦ Jay can’t stay. Suddenly he feels a drop of guilt in his stomach.

❦ No birthday gift for (Y/N)…

❦ No birthday gift for Daniel’s twin…

𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐯

❦ After that… Jay caught himself staring during lunch breaks.

❦ He was getting close with Daniel… really close actually. There was a warm weight in his chest knowing that he had a friend.

❦ And although Daniel was great, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself for not knowing about you.

❦ I mean… really? How was he supposed to know?

❦ He hadn’t noticed that you two walked together after school, or exchanged hushed whispers in the hall. Why would he…?

❦ But now that he was aware, Jay couldn’t make eye contact. Honestly— he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not even when you called him out on it.

❦ You found Jay endearing… he was a nice boy. Now you didn’t see any harm in him being Danny’s friend.

❦ He started hanging around more often… tagging along on your walk homewards. Studying with your idiot of a brother, who blatantly refused your help. (You’re still siblings after all.)

❦ Jay found himself in the middle of several sibling banters. You would most commonly get on him for sleeping in class… telling him how irresponsible and unfair it was. Whatever that meant.

❦ Even if he never said anything, you found Jay’s company to be very enjoyable. By the day you were beginning to understand what he was trying to say more and more.

❦ Deciphering his mannerisms and translating them into words hadn’t come to you as easily as it had to Danny.

❦ But you and your brother were used to exchanging silent words.

❦ You had done it before… back home with Eomma. Whenever your brother wanted to hide something… or didn’t want your mother to worry.

❦ Silent words were exchanged, looks that said “are you sure?” and “please don’t tell.”

❦ You had told Daniel how guilty you were for not doing anything… and for not standing up for him. But Daniel, as imperfect as he was, never wanted to drag you into his messes.

❦ He never, ever, wanted you to get hurt.

❦ Maybe it was a twin thing… “telepathy” or whatever. You could understand Danny’s silent sentences, and he could understand yours.

❦ So it was natural that you began to pick up onto Jay’s own wordless language.

❦ As previously stated… Daniel doesn’t want his sister to get hurt.

❦ He was the man of the house (sort of) and he should be the one to take the bullets for her.

❦ Especially now that he had two bodies, and his twin was the only person he could confide in.

❦ You disagree… “Danny, I’m older. I can handle myself.”

❦ You smirk to yourself, shouldering your backpack and walking forward with more confidence.

❦ Daniel watches as your curls bounce in rhythm with your step. He tries to control his smile by forming it into a frown.

❦ “That’s not a fair excuse. And I’m serious… I don’t want you walking home by yourself.”

❦ Your pace slows and matches up with your little hyeongje.

❦ “Fine…” some silence lapses between the two of you. “Are you and Jay still hanging out?”

❦ It feels weird for you to look up at your brother… seeing as he’s now a six-foot monster. To be fair, you know he’s still growing in his alter ego, but it feels odd nonetheless.

❦ Daniel casts you a weird side-eye, feeling a drop to his stomach. “Yeah, we are. Why wouldn’t we be?”

❦ You shrug your shoulders and keep waking forward, “You just never invite him over. It’s weird… aren’t pretty-boys supposed to hang out at the mall or each others houses?”

❦ Danny shrugs his shoulders, staring down at the pavement.

❦ “I wouldn’t know…” he trails off as you walk ahead into the house. And then as he’s kicking off his shoes, it dawns on him.

❦ Did… his sister… just call Jay… his new best friend… a pretty boy…?

❦ 👺👺

❦ “Hey (Y/N)—” “Shut it imposter-boy.”

❦ You shake his original body’s shoulders, paying little attention to his new body that slumps sleepily to the floor.

❦ Little Danny blinks up at you, and you hand him his glasses, “There’s my little brother.”

❦ Daniel cares about you too much to let you go without a fight. After all, it’s his twin sister. The only person he can be open with. One of the only people he feels obligated to protect.

❦ Jay also cares too much about you to let you get hurt. After all, you are his best friend’s twin sister. One of the only people who understands him. One of the only people he wants to let in to his secrets.

❦ He can’t pin the moment when he began viewing you differently. At first you were just Daniel’s sister. And then you were his friend, too.

❦ After a while, he caught himself thinking of you. You specifically.

❦ Shyness accompanied these random daydreams of hanging out with you. And the slowly shyness dissolved into realization that he just really cared for you.

❦ Caring turned into attraction; Jay was attracted to you. How…? When…? Why…? He wasn’t sure.

❦ He caught himself falling deep slowly, surely; almost subconsciously…

❦ “Hey Jay!” Daniel greets, sliding into his seat beside him in the cafeteria.

❦ The afternoon sun and luminescent lights still manage to hone in on Daniels “natural” beauty. He still receives stares from other classes… much to Jay’s distaste.

❦ He doesn’t say anything, just smiling in slight embarrassment and turning back to his already-empty food tray.

❦ “…?”

❦ “Where’s (Y/N)?” Jay watches as Daniel’s eyes scan over the cafeteria, flickering between the different girls at the beauty table.

❦ “Ah~ I’m not sure. She must be in the bathrooms or something.”

❦ Daniel turns back to his food, but his apparent unconcern only spurs on the faux-blonde’s worries.

❦ Daniel picks up on Jay’s hyperactive urges to make sure you’re in eyesight. Of course he’s aware that Jay is protective of him… but it’s different when he’s looking around the room frantically for you.

❦ Daniel feels a warmth in his chest- a slight pain in his forehead like his eyebrows are subtly being forced together.

❦ He almost feels annoyed, although he’s never caught himself feeling irritated with Jay. You’re probably the only person who could provoke him at random.

❦ It’s different than just plain annoyance or anger. He almost feels jealous of Jay for being so worried about you. Especially when you walk in, completely unharmed, just like Daniel knew you’d be. Daniel feels hot in his face and body when he catches Jay releasing a tiny sigh, lips curving upwards into a smile.

❦ Daniel asks for time to sort out his new-found overprotectiveness. And you give him time.

❦ To be honest… you need time to sort out your own feelings.

❦ You weren’t always on-board with your brothers new friend.

❦ Why would you be?

❦ You had both transferred from your old school for the sake of protecting Daniel. You had taken on the task of monitoring your twin for the sake of your Eomma.

❦ There was no way you were letting anyone bully your brother. Not even in his new body. (Of course you knew he felt the same way about you.)

❦ So you were a bit skeptical of the apparently mute, rich, and secretive boy who extended his friendship towards your Danny.

❦ A dark undercut bleached blonde, aristocratic features and perfectly molded pink-lips; expensive brands and a flawless grade sheet. Jay Hong had it all. What could he possibly want from your brother?

❦ You searched for an alternative motive…

❦ Regarding Jay with upmost suspicion during your encounters… calculating what he could gain from his every action.

❦ Your searches came up empty… you couldn’t find anything “dirty” about Jay.

❦ The only thing you gained from watching his every move and translating his silent words… was admiration.

❦ You admired Jay’s selflessness that mirrored your brothers. Kindness that mimicked your Eomma. Protectiveness… that probably reflected someone you knew (yourself and your twin).

❦ He was charming. He was thoughtful. Sweet. Endearing.

❦ Jay’s hand brushes against yours, and a booming swarm of butterflies erupt in your stomach. Happiness chokes in your throat; you’re forced to bashfully avoid eye-contact and pull your hand away from his.

❦ Jay smiles at you from across the hall, and suddenly you’re fighting back a grin. You conform that grin you want to let out into a tiny smile and an acknowledging nod, even though your head feels light your stomach feels empty.

❦ You come to realize what these feelings are… the fatigue you feel after encountering that boy; the way your heart lurches towards him whenever he’s in the room.

❦ It stopped being plain hormones a long time ago. It’s developing into more than a crush…

❦ You’d do anything to keep Danny safe. And now… you feel your protective circle broadening to let Jay in.

❦ Meanwhile Daniel’s protective grip on you seemed to be tightening.

❦ He was starting to regard the potential of you having a partner with hostility.

❦ He wouldn’t let you get hurt. He wouldn’t let himself be the one to introduce you to that sort of pain.

❦ If Jay was a really… really… really good guy… then maybe…

❦ As for Jay; he felt himself growing warm at the thought of you. That damn smile of yours.

❦ He smiles pleasurably as he relaxes into his bed, running his hand down his face.

❦ His guilt of not getting you a birthday gift is soon to be repelled. He glances over at the bag that rests on his desk.

❦ A hue of red taints his cheeks.

❦ Jay has done his own personal-sorting.

❦ After he watched Daniel; chiseled physique, radiating personality, magnetic charisma, reserved introversion; he decided he wanted to get to know him. And then he wanted to be friends.

❦ Then he met Daniel’s twin. His sister. He was enchanted by your aloof disregard for him, a facade of rudeness that soon gave way to your warm interior. He wanted to be greeted by your smile the way you beamed at your brother. He wanted to feel the touch the way you clasped your hands with Daniels. Hell… he wouldn’t mind if you dragged him by the collar the way you did with your twin.

❦ Jay felt his face heating up even more as he thought over his new revelation.

❦ He wanted to be more than just friends with (Y/N) Park.

❦ His gaze on the gift bag only intensified.

❦ “Will she like it…? I hope so. (Y/N) isn’t the type of girl to be picky about these sorts of things anyway… right?”

❦ “Will she want to stay friends? Probably. I mean- she’s nice to everybody. Me and her are nothing special…”

❦ Jay’s smile faded into a frown. Even if she did reject him, he always had to fall back onto his personal resolve. He was going to do this.

❦ A flustered mess. Jay Hong was a flustered mess.

❦ (Jay: 😰😰😰)

❦ “…!”

❦ “Like it? Of course I’ll like it Jay, you don’t need to be so nervous about it…”

❦ Daniel walks in to this rom-com of a scene.

❦ You sit there, smiling warmly at the boy in front of you. Jay slouches in front of you as though he’s trying to make himself smaller, pursing his lips tightly, his cheeks flushing a peachy pink.

❦ Daniel just stands there, staring into the empty classroom, save for his best friend and his twin sister, watching wordlessly as your hands pull out the tissue paper stuffed in the gift bag.

❦ You pull out an article of clothing… a jacket. Daniel can tell by the looks of it that it’s expensive. How much money was Jay willing to spend on you?

❦ “I love it Jay…” you smile, “but you already know I can’t accept this.”

❦ Jay frowns, nervousness still radiating from his demeanor. “…”

(So you don’t like it?)

❦ Daniel picks up on what it means, but he watches as his sister’s face morphs into understanding.

❦ “No I do— but it’s too much Jay. Huh…? If I’m happy with it then I can keep— no Jay that’s not how it works, I’m serious.”

❦ Daniel can see something. A warm spark that kindles as you hold each other’s gaze. You smile, even as Jay’s lips mold into a pout. Your eyes gloss in reflection with the sunlight; your gaze looks softer than Danny has ever seen it.

❦ He feels the heated pit in his chest extinguishing… his own gaze softening.

❦ Jay just wanted you to be happy…?

❦ “…”

❦ “Okay I’ll try it on… but only for size. I’m telling you I’m not accepting this gift— because friends don’t give each other expensive gifts like this! And you can’t tell me these are old clothes… because there is no way your sister would ever let you.”

❦ Jay is smiling broadly, helping you into the jacket (even though you can clearly manage on your own).

❦ Daniel coughs, walking through the doorway. “(Y/N) we better get home… or other Daniel will start to worry.”

❦ You conclude: you like Jay. He concludes: He likes you.

❦ Daniel concludes: Jay is a nice guy. He won’t hurt his beloved twin sister.

❦ Later on… Daniel sits beside Jay outside of the school building. He rubs the back of his neck nervously, releasing a shaky sigh.

❦ “Ah… Jay? Can I ask you a serious question?”

❦ Jay nods rapidly, an easygoing smile adorning his features.

❦ “Do you like my sister?”

❦ “…”

❦ This time Jay nods with less eagerness, like he’s guiltily admitting defeat. Daniel huffs turning away from Jay with a conflicted expression.

❦ “Well… if you want to I guess… you could ask her out. I mean- I’m not against it…”

❦ Jay: 😳

❦ “….”

❦ Translation: Thanks.

❦ A week later. You and Jay are going on your first date.

Fluff 😩 ❤️

I hope this was good :)

It for sure was the longest thing I’ve published on this blog. Requests are open! So keep giving me ideas! <3

#FLUFFY FLUFFY #JAY IS A SWEET BBB #Jay Hong #jay hong #park daniel #daniel park #daniel park’s sister #Daniel Park’s twin #fem!reader #Jay x Reader #Jay x f!reader #jay x y/n #lookism webtoon #lookism #lookism x reader #Lookism x female reader

215 notes · View notes

filmbyjy · 2 years

Text

BUSINESS PROPOSAL

PAIRING > park sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis > being the amazing friend you were, you had helped your friend who desperately did not want to go on the blind date so you went as her. however, you were dumbfounded to find out that the CEO was your friend’s blind date! hopefully, he doesn’t recognise you.

GENRE > ceo au, staff!reader, fake dating au, girlboss reader because that’s how kim hari was in business proposal😌 hot CEO sunghoon (ahah but you must be asking why not secretary when there is a sunghoon in business proposal that was hot and kinky😏 well idk)

FEATURING > K from &team, yujin and wonyoung from ive, danielle from newjeans, harvey from XG and romin from e'last. of course the enhypen members too and if on occasions I may add new idols into the smau ^_^

WARNING > there isn't much warnings but like I FEEL BAD FOR MAKING MY LOVE FROM E'LAST AS MINWOO THE RED FLAG T_T

SCHEDULE > updated whenever I can…

TAGLIST > series has officially ended. thank you for joining this whole ride🫶🏻

START: 20 October 2022 | END: 12 February 2023

NOTE: 4th SMAU WOOOO. well technically there is only ‘jam out’ here…EHEM I’ll just exit🚪I know I’ve written in my original that the reader will be sunghoon’s secretary but I ultimately decided to stick to how the original ‘business proposal’ went. BUT I may make you the secretary maybe later on in the episodes😉 oh and I aged up everyone except jungwon and ni-ki bc I like the aspect of them being sunghoon’s bodyguards even though they are high schoolers😀

profile: CEO and his minions | cosmetic whores😛

prologue: the contrasts of friend groups

one: love hurts [written]

two: no head, no possay

three: damn😨

four: they are just friends

five: THATS AGAINST THE LAW

– placing this bc the previous read more messed up –

six: he just self inserted

seven: makeover montage😍😍

eight: LET YOUR TITS FREE🗣️🗣️

nine: who tf is harvard and one letter hyung?

ten: dave and juan🥺 [written + pictures]

eleven: tell us what you know old man👹

twelve: I wanna kick some shins😍😍

thirteen: curby

fourteen: snorting my sorrows away

fifteen: elavatoe

sixteen: plot hole once again

seventeen: sunoo finds out! [written]

eighteen: alpha female raptor

nineteen: FOR FREE???

twenty: grippers and snatchers

twenty-one: ZAYUM DADDAË

twenty-two: velociraptor speaks

twenty-three: happy birthday, here is a gift❤️

twenty-four: meeting the grandmother😵‍💫 [written]

twenty-five: the english to australian translator

twenty-six: love you too hyung🥰

twenty-seven: they’re dating…again

twenty-eight: hentai tentacles

twenty-nine: happy anniversary? [written]

thirty: she’s a fraud

thirty-one: let’s drink the night away!

thirty-two: christian minecraft server era

thirty-three: jay hyung male wife era

thirty-four: YOU KNEW HE KNEW??

thirty-five: SOUND THE ALARM

thirty-six: they flirting

thirty-seven: 3 step guide [written]

thirty-eight: the censored pic

thirty-nine: we good time👍🏻

fourty: kiss me [written]

fourty-one: post-kiss feelings??

fourty-two: paper work. what else?

fourty-three: failed secret dating

fourty-four: b-b-but :(

fourty-five: she’s a fighter [written]

fourty-six: how about…naur

fourty-seven: NO BUTS🧌 JUST GO

fourty-eight: that’s a pervert!

fourty-nine: the devil’s cha cha cha💃🏻🕺🏻

fifty: r.i.p that pus- [written]

special episodes!

baby name website

the many FaceTime sessions

youngmi and her little sibling

ask business proposal casts

author asks | business proposal cast

4K notes · View notes

zreamy · 1 year

Text

nothing to lose

pairing: jay park x fem!reader

summary: after a hockey party, a football game, and a near perfect first kiss, jay is humbled by his (practically silent) friend sunghoon, who reminds him that he has nothing to lose.

genres: university / college au, friends (uni crushes) to lovers, smut, fluff

warnings: minors dni, vaguely (very?) british undertones..

word count: 24,064 .. sorry.

playlist: awkward sza, do you like me? daniel caesar

author's note: please just be nice to me and let me know your thoughts (positive / negative / anything as long as ur not mean abt it) .. thank u @asahicore my rock, my bestie, my beta reader .. <333 hope u enjoy !!!

When you pair his kind eyes and charming smile with his ever-positive outlook on life, it’s easy to see why Park Jongseong is heavily popular amongst the student body; even described by your flatmates (and the rest of his fan club) as the stuff of dreams. And in your dreams, you know exactly why he’s staring in your direction with a sweet smile on his face. In real life, however, you have absolutely no idea and it’s kind of weird. Not his smile itself, no, his smile is.. really pretty, but it’s kind of weird in the sense that it’s directed at you.

You think.

Most of the library’s population sits across the room in the computer lab and based on your seat, at an empty table, in the (also empty) far corner, he’s either smiling at you or at the wall that your head is resting on. It’s not until the two of you lock eyes that you feel you should smile back, though your brows knit together at the way he whips his head around in the other direction when you do – a move that seems out of character for the Park Jongseong that you know. Or rather, the Park Jongseong Jay that you knew.

The Jay you knew was a (more than) pleasant enough guy who grinned in a way that pushed a dimple into his cheek every time he got to class and sidled his way through the aisle to sit in the seat next to you. The very first time he did it he’d mistaken you for someone else, his smile faltering slightly as he sat down anyway, a large hand extended to you.

“Jay,” he introduced himself, nodding thoughtfully when you told him your name and holding on to your hand for a split second longer than what was comfortable. And even though it was clear that he’d been sitting in the wrong seat, at Na Jaemin’s end-of-year party months later, you acted shocked when he told you about how he’d forgotten to put his contacts in that morning. Nonetheless, he continued sitting next to you in that class for the rest of the semester.

From your current seat in the library, you watch him curiously, wondering if he might look over again. For two minutes, he leans against a shelf in the reference section, completely unaware of his audience (you) as he types on his phone. You can’t take your eyes off him until the sudden vibration of your phone startles you, your hand reaching for it immediately thinking (hoping?) it might be a text from him.

yj: hockey mixer tn

yj: what are you guys wearing

You feel relieved to see that it’s just Yunjin in the group chat, though, as you read the messages, you struggle not to roll your eyes seeing that she (captain of the hockey team) is still trying to convince you (non-member of the hockey team) to go to the hockey mixer. By the looks of things, the field hockey team is the last to take advantage of the space that the student union building has to offer. Functioning as a nightclub over the weekend (and on select weeknights), The U is the place to be if you’re looking for a good time for a good price.

Unlike the other club parties, tonight’s hockey mixer is Yunjin’s answer to concerns raised by members of the students’ union about binge drinking on campus. According to her: “A mixer is an informal gathering where people mingle, interact, and get to know each other. And a party is,” she paused, fixing her eyes on the ceiling as if waiting for divine inspiration to strike. “Fun.” She didn’t seem pleased when you asked if this meant that the mixer would be boring and eventually confessed that the hockey party would be a mixer in name only.

You lock your phone without responding and lift your gaze back to references only to find that Jay is gone; stuck to the part of the bookshelf he was leaning on, you notice a lopsided poster featuring two crossed field hockey sticks and a ball over a green gradient, and a chill runs down your spine. If Yunjin is one thing, she’s bad at graphic design persistent.

Unfortunately, in all your time spent not working, you find that your laptop hasn’t begun doing your research paper for you, and the Google Doc looks exactly the same as it did when you last edited it one hour ago, with only the intro from the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals website pasted into it. In the bottom left corner of your screen, a white box tells you that it’s 467 words long, and, feeling a rare bout of motivation, you get to work paraphrasing and attempting to condense the text.

As morning turns into afternoon, the library starts to get busier and busier, and despite the low hum of several different conversations creeping in through your earphones, you’ve gotten into a flow with your work and don’t let anything distract you. That is until Jay himself lets his backpack thud onto the table across from you, brows raising a little at the sudden noise, before pulling out the chair and sitting down.

“Need a study buddy?” he asks, a tentative hand on the zipper of his jacket.

You take a moment to observe him; the way he asked to join you after having already joined you, settling into the seat before you’d had a chance to say anything. A part of you wants to say “no,” just to see how he reacts, but, with a smile on your face, you take out your earphones and say, “Sure.”

A grin spreads over his lips as he mumbles the word sweet, shrugging off the oversized coat and letting it drape over the back of his chair, revealing a chunky pair of headphones sitting around his neck and a thin gold chain with a hook pendant on it. His dark hair sits flat on his forehead and he rakes a hand through it twice before taking a textbook out of his bag. He doesn’t touch it, though. Instead, he lets his elbows rest on the table in front of him, biceps flexing slightly under his sleeves as he crosses his forearms. “What are you working on?” he asks.

“A report on the integration of renewable technology in buildings, for my sustainable development class.”

Jay hums, brows raising slightly. “Renewable tech like solar panels and shit, right?”

“Right.”

Another grin, pretty, sincere. “It’s cool you’re getting to learn about the stuff you care about,” he tells you, and even if you hadn’t been looking at him, you’d have been able to hear the smile in his voice, light, sweet. Jay is sweet. The statement trickled out of his mouth so simply, so casually, a small detail that you have to rack your brain to recall sharing with him; still just as attentive as you remember. “Really.”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling too. “Exactly.”

There’s a distinct comfort that rolls off of Jay in waves as the two of you chat, and the scene feels familiar. It’s reminiscent of the nights you’d spend together last term, at a table like this one with the notes from your shared Property Law lecture sprawled out in front of you while pretending to study. The two of you would find anything else to talk about, and constantly received dirty looks from the laughter you’d struggle to stifle.

It’s not until Jay reaches for his textbook that you properly check it out, and as a non-fashion student, you’re not expecting to know what subject he’s studying but you’re pretty sure that Nutrition, Energy, and Human Performance are not part of his curriculum. “Excercise Physiology?” you ask, reading its title.

“I picked it up earlier for Sunghoon. He’s at the rink all morning,” he nods.

“So why are you studying it?”

Jay laughs, shifting in his seat. “It’s, like, the only thing I have in my backpack. I just came over here ‘cause I wanted to say hey.”

It takes everything in you not to say “aww” out loud; his sweetness palpable, his smile contagious, and his eyes so bright and warm that your heart soars in your chest when you look at them. “Hey,” you say after a beat.

“Hey,” he chuckles. “How was your break?”

“It was good! I went home for a week, or so, and then I got bored and came back to hang out with Chaewon,” you tell him, grinning despite yourself at the memory of poorly mixed cocktails and days spent lounging by the pool at her family’s holiday home. “85% of the summer was just us running around being stupid.”

“And the other 15?”

You feel more than a little awkward about telling him that you spent the other 15% fooling around with Jaemin, so with a forced smile you tell him, “Just more running around being stupid.” Hopefully, he can’t sense your mild discomfort and thinks you’re scratching your neck because it’s itchy and not because of the slight guilt you feel. “How was yours?”

“Minus Chaewon, I had, like, the exact same break.” He pauses, breaking out into the widest grin you’ve ever seen. “Oh, and I went to the Yuuri show! It was crazy.” He runs a hand through his hair, sitting up a little straighter in his seat. “I was gonna text you but I didn’t wanna bother you during break or anything.”

“Oh,” you say, dragging the vowel. “Right. So you’re bothering me during term time instead?” You tease, though with the way Jay’s eyes widen and his brows knit together, it doesn’t seem like he’s caught on to your joking tone. “I’m kidding, tell me all about it,” you add as quickly as you can manage, a huge smile on your face.

Relief washes over you as Jay laughs, his shoulders shaking, and his nose crinkling, showing off the scar across its bridge that you’ve come to like so much. After calming down, he watches you carefully, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Right,” he finally says, taking a breath before talking with excitement and at great length about the concert.

But it isn’t without slight interruption: Jay’s phone vibrates against the table a few times, and he ignores it, eventually turning it on do not disturb before squinting at you. “You’re not allowed to laugh. Pinky promise me you won’t laugh.” He holds his hand out to you, wagging his pinky finger in your face. There’s a smile on his lips when you link your finger with his, his skin rough against your own when he squeezes your pinky. As much as his tight grip is starting to hurt, you (unsuccessfully) fight off a smile when you realise that the two of you are effectively holding hands.

“I’m not gonna laugh,” you promise.

A beat passes before Jay lets out a chuckle. “That’s my girl,” he says, voice low as if he didn’t want you to hear him. You wish you didn’t hear him.

When you try to let go, he doesn’t budge, only easing up a little so he’s not cutting off your circulation anymore; just holding it lightly with his. Across the table from you, struggling to meet your eyes, Jay wears a sheepish look. “He threw his pick out into the crowd at the end of the show, and I caught it!” he tells you, looking away. “And I cried..” His voice thins out into practically nothing though you think you hear the words “home,” and “Heeseung,” before he stops talking completely.

Jay’s sentimental side has tugged at your heart for as long as you’ve known him, and given the way he’d sobbed quietly in his seat at the cinemas when you’d gone out to watch a late showing of Spider-Man 2 together, you find it easy to imagine him welling up over catching Yuuri’s guitar pick.

For some reason, much like the tears he’d shed over Peter Parker, you find the thought quite cute, and a smile teases at the corners of your mouth as you make a mental note to finally listen to some Yuuri songs later on. Jay looks at you expectantly, and before you have the chance to speak his phone starts to ring, vibrating incessantly against the table, though Jay doesn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Do you need to get that?” you ask, unable to suppress the snort that makes its way out.

Jay shakes his head. “You promised me. You’re still promising me,” he says, lips curving into a frown as he makes a show of waving your still-linked hands.

“No, it’s cute that you cried.”

He seems shocked by this. “Really?”

“A little.”

His mouth falls open in a silent gasp as he furrows his brows at you. “A li—” He’s cut off by his phone vibrating once again, and he releases your pinky to check it. Jay sighs lightly, reading the messages from his screen and picking up the textbook. “Sorry, Hoon’s on my ass about this thing. I gotta go.”

Disappointment weighs lightly on your shoulders at his words, though you do feel better when you see the little pout on his lips, hoping that it means he doesn’t want your conversation to end either. “I get it,” you say, shooting him a smile that you hope is convincing as he puts the book in his bag before pulling his jacket back on, and standing up from his seat.

“I’ll text you,” he says cheerfully, waving at you before leaving. He looks over his shoulder a few moments later, waving again with the same smile from earlier on his face.

You can’t help but watch as he retreats, captivated by the air of confidence he somehow exudes even without showing his face, until he disappears into the mix of students by the entrance, becoming just another bag and shoulders in the crowd.

Without Jay to chat to, the idea of sitting in the library becomes jarring, and suddenly it’s time for you to leave too. You don’t hesitate to grab your phone when it vibrates twice next to you, an odd combination of the relief from earlier and slight disappointment hitting you when you see that it’s Yunjin — texting you directly this time.

yj: if you wanna ignore me turn off read receipts

yj: open bar for girls on the team

you: sounds like the hockey girls are gonna have a good night

yj: i’ll get you a jacket

you: don’t bother i’m not going.

SWANG rattles through tinny speakers in the student union and with every free drink you knock back, it gets harder and harder to pretend to Yunjin that you’re not having a good time. The team jacket she snagged for you and Chaewon to share fits a little big over your shoulders as you conclude that Number 20 is a lot more popular than you thought if the vaguely disappointed look on many faces when they see your face is anything to go by.

Sitting in a booth towards the back of The U, you and Yunjin mumble along to the song with a shot in each hand as she starts a countdown from 3! and you wonder whether or not you’ll be able to make it to class in the morn—2!—ing given how much you’ve had to drink and how much of the night is still left to happen 1! The formerly rancid tequila goes down like water the first time around, and gets caught in your throat the second time.

“I’m so happy you came tonight!” she yells in your ear, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, choosing to gush while you cough into the crook of your elbow. “I always have the most fun with you but you never come out.” Her drunkenness is evident in the slightly higher pitch that her words take on and the way most of the consonants come out almost the same way the vowels do.

As sweet as she’s being, you can’t ignore the alarms blaring in your head hearing that your best friend would describe going out (at least) two nights a week as “never” going out, but you chuckle along anyway, locking your hand with hers.

With a smile on his face, Lee Jeno brings Chaewon back to the booth in one piece, ruffling her hair a little before raising a hand to salute you and Yunjin, and disappearing back into the crowd.

“The period at the end of that last text almost convinced us,” she says as she takes her seat beside you. “But I new your little crush on Jay wouldn’t let you miss a chance to see him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes, backing a shot before leaning over you to get closer to Yunjin. “She’s pretending again.”

With a scoff, Yunjin unlocks her phone and pulls up her camera roll to an album titled with an unfortunately cute ship name. “I can’t stop thinki–” You cut her off, snatching the phone from her hands and placing it under your thigh.

“Okay, okay,” you relent, letting your head fall back as you groan. “I may have had a.. thing for him last semester but I’m over it now.”

“Do you think he’ll swipe up if I post a song he likes?” Chaewon reads between laughs.

Flustered, you sink into your seat after hearing the text that you sent two nights ago, hoping with all your might that the booth will open up to swallow you whole.

To your utter devastation, it does not.

The universe chooses to soothe you in a different way by sending an angel Kazuha to drag you all out onto the dance floor. With intertwined hands, the four of you “excuse me” and “sorry” your way over to where Sakura and her friend Mark are dancing a little closer than usual with one another.

His hands are on her hips as he holds her back to his front, the two of them grinding to the music, but she’s quick to smack his hands off of her and break away from him when she sees you guys approaching. Using a hand to push hair out of her face, Sakura laughs at nothing, smacking Mark’s chest playfully while he glues his eyes to the floor.

“We missed you at pres,” you say, wrapping her in a hug.

“Right, sorry, Mark had a thing at his place!”

Despite understanding why she does, you ignore Chaewon when she nudges you at the mention of Mark and his place before hugging him too, agreeing when he says that you guys should come next time.

The six of you form a circle after greeting one another, jumping around while yelling obnoxiously to the music blaring into your ears. Over Mark’s shoulder, you see Jay nodding at a friend before leaving the clu—“I’m actually gonna go get some air,” you blurt out. “Alone!” you add before Yunjin can offer to come with.

Despite the way the breeze nips at your legs, the fresh air is a welcome slap in the face when it hits you; the previously ear-splitting music reduced to a pathetic mumble now that you’re outside. A few girls that you recognise from some of your classes stand opposite the, now short, entry queue, waving you towards them and blowing cigarette smoke over their shoulders. You shake your head when they offer you a draw, though (against your better judgement) you do accept a few hits of a polar menthol flavoured juul while chatting distractedly about your “new spot” on the hockey team and trying to find Jay — which doesn’t take you very long.

Not too far from where you’re standing, he leans against the building’s grey brick while looking at his phone. Its OLED display casts a slight glow over his features, showing off the crease of his brow, the slope of his nose, and the tiny little pout set on his lips as he types.

You can’t help but stare as Jimin and Minjeong plan the rest of their night, which includes afters at Yizhuo’s if she doesn’t pass out, and extend an invitation to you and your friends — “I mean, we’re still gonna go. She’ll probably need us more if she does,” Minjeong says, stubbing out a cigarette under her shoe before both girls head inside.

Waving goodbye, you let yourself find Jay again and take a deep breath. For a moment, you attempt to strategise in the way you and the girls always do together. A few possibilities play out in your head and right when you think you’ve found a good opener—“Hello!” You find yourself saying as you stumble walk over to him.

As you’ve come to expect, his mouth curves into a smile when he looks up at you. “Hello,” he says, laughing through the word. In the short time it takes you to reach him, and lean about an arm’s length away on the same wall, he slips his phone into his jacket pocket. “Since when are you a hockey girl?”

With a smile of your own, you roll up your left sleeve to refer to a watch that you’re not wearing. “It’s been a few hours.”

Jay’s teeth press down on his bottom lip as he chuckles, before mumbling an apology and pulling his phone back out. You don’t mean to peek at his screen when he opens the messages app, but you do anyway. And can’t help but feel bad at the sight of your name at the top of the second message thread — the memory of Yunjin taking your phone so you couldn’t text back forcing your stomach to turn a little.

Lifting your gaze back up to him, you sort of hate how pretty he looks as he ruffles his hair before putting his phone back in his pock—You turn your head immediately, finding sudden interest in the lamp post that irregularly flickers a pale yellow over his shoulder. For a split second, it seems like you managed to stare at him without being caught, but if the little laugh he lets out is anything to go by, your neck jerk wasn’t as subtle as you’d hoped.

“You’re cute,” he grins, stepping a little closer. “It suits you.”

It’s a struggle to backtrack and remember what the two of you were even talking about as the faint scent of his cologne hits your nostrils. “F-field hockey?” you offer.

“The jacket,” he clarifies, a sweet laugh slipping past his lips as he speaks.

“Ohh, you too.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You think this suits me?”

His hand comes to one side of his denim jacket, holding it out slightly and allowing you to catch a proper whiff of his cologne and a glimpse of his bare shoulder. You worry a little about what might come out of your mouth if you open it, deciding for everyone’s sake just to nod and pray that he’ll leave the damn jacket alone.

“It’d probably look better on you.”

An audible smile tugs at your lips. “No way.” You shake your head, trying and failing to keep your giggles to yourself.

“You wanna prove me wrong?”

With a tilt of your head, you turn the offer around in your mind; a pros and cons list starting to take shape.

Pros: getting to wear Jay’s jacket, having an almost permanent reason to keep chatting with him throughout the night, and getting to see Jay in a vest — arguably the biggest pro of them all, given the amount of IG stories he’s posted in the gym recently.

Con: losing free drinks privileges; which doesn’t really seem like a huge deal because Chaewon can just wear the hockey jacket and get drinks for you like she’s been doing for half of the night so far.

Under the weight of Jay’s stare, you shift on your feet, realising that he’s clearing his throat for the second time since he stopped speaking and you still haven't said anything. “But then I’d have to pay for my drinks,” you say in an attempt not to seem too eager. The words slur a bit on their way out, though you’re too caught up in the way Jay’s lips tug into a grin to fuss over it.

“Not if you stick wi—” He stops short, cut off by a voice from a few metres away. “Jongsaaaaaaeeeeeeng!” it yells. And if not for his silver head of hair, you’d never have believed it was Park Sunghoon screaming like that.

“Poor guy kept icing himself,” Lee Heeseung calmly explains, walking ahead of Sunghoon and, what looks like, Sim Jake who’ve been giggling with one another since the cry left the younger’s mouth.

Despite not knowing Sunghoon very well, from what you’ve heard about him, it’s easy to imagine him hiding bottles of Smirnoff Ice to ice one of his friends, only to lose track of where he’d put them and find them himself later on, thinking one of his friends was icing him. The thought makes you stifle your laughter; you like the fact that Jay laughs too.

Before dapping Jay up, Heeseung offers him the confiscated Smirnoff Ice that Sunghoon had made quite a dent in, only shrugging when he declines. Jay watches as his friend wraps an arm around your shoulder in a polite side hug while asking if you want to finish the “smice”. You let a beat pass before telling him that you’ll think about it.

For a while, you listen as he fills Jay in on what he missed at pres, smiling at Jake and Sunghoon as they get closer, and wondering when it would be appropriate if at all, to introduce yourself to the three boys that you’ve only ever walked by at parties or on campus. You find a window when the two arrive, waving a little when you tell them your name.

Jake’s lips curve into what looks like a smirk as he looks over at you. “We know,” he says, eyes darting quickly over to Jay before looking back at you.

Sunghoon says nothing.

The boys are quick to get back to their conversation, and Heeseung glances in Jay’s direction, nodding his head before making a show of unscrewing the cap on the smice and skying it. After an impressive chug, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, holding up the empty bottle like a trophy before putting it in the bin.

With a slight frown, you realise that you didn’t even get to tell him that you didn’t want it.

There’s a grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Jake and Sunghoon’s shoulders. “See you guys in there!” he says before guiding the two boys away and into the club.

With the two of you on your own again, you become hyperaware of your proximity, of the fact that if you moved your hand even a centimetre it would brush his. The heat from his body is dizzying, and with his body leaning down towards you, Jay is already watching you when you look up at him. His lips rest in a small smile that only widens at the sight of your face, seeming unbothered that you’d caught him staring. That it wouldn’t take much to bridge the gap between your faces. Between your lips.

“The offer still stands,” he says. “To wear my jacket and drink for free.”

A somewhat familiar 808 beat rattles through tinny speakers in the student union.Jay’s jacket fits pretty big over your shoulders as you try not to say anything ridiculous while he holds your hand, leading you through the crowd. Now that your hands are actually clasped, the butterflies you’d felt over having linked fingers for a pinky promise seem silly, completely eclipsed by the feeling of your heart clattering against your ribs. After every few steps, he looks over his shoulder at you, your cheeks burning hotter and hotter with each smile he throws your way.

Upon your return to the booth, you drop the team jacket in Chaewon’s lap, praying that your friends won’t say anything about Jay or the fact that you’re wearing his jacket — or the fact that despite having reached your friends safely the two of you are still holding hands. By the looks of things it seems as though telling her to move up isn’t enough of a signal to her that you’d like to sit down; though maybe she’s just too busy trying to shrug the jacket back on to move up. You tell yourself that she’s just too busy trying to shrug the jacket back on to move up.

Chaewon wears a wicked grin on her face, making no effort to be discreet about staring at your intertwined fingers. “YN? Why aren’t you dancing? You love this song!” she says, opening her mouth to wink obnoxiously at you and nudging Yunjin.

“I don’t know this song,” you say, liking the way Jay laughs beside you, squeezing your hand a little.

For reasons unbeknownst to you, Yunjin sees this as the best opportunity to chime in, tilting her head before saying, “Whaaaaaaat? This is your favourite song! Trust me, Jay, she loves this song!”

“And she’s such a good dancer,” Chaewon adds. “Have you seen her dance, Jay?”

You stand around dumbly, mouthing the word “stop,” at your friends and leaning up towards Jay when he leans down to you. “How about a drink?” he asks with a voice as smooth as velvet, soft lips grazing the shell of your ear.

“Please.”

After telling the girls that you’ll be back, and flipping them off with your free hand, you let Jay lead you back through the dance floor to the bar, letting an elbow rest on its surface. When you look at him, he’s watching you, his lips quirked up ever so slightly while he does so.

Letting your nails drum against the bar, you smile back. “Sorry about my friends,” you say, unsure as to why you’re apologising but feeling like it’s the right thing to say.

“Sorry about your friends?” Jay asks. He grins. “Sorry about mine.”

You want to tell him that you liked his friends, that they seemed nice. Even though Sunghoon didn’t speak, and Heeseung finished the drink he offered you before you even had a chance to let him know that you wanted it. But he’s already distracted.

His eyes scan the bottles that line the shelves behind the bar, and you busy yourself doing the same thing, the sight of almost every rum brand bringing up memories of past nights out with your friends. Two palm trees on a white bottle of “MarkLeebu” leave you suppressing your laughter as you think about Sakura’s friend falling asleep - standing up - against the wall of a club after drinking two bottles of Malibu to himself on a dare.

Jay’s breath fans your ear when he speaks, “What are you having?”

“A jäger bomb.”

With a nod, he orders your drink and a whiskey for himself, and as per his suggestion, the two of you toast “to third year” before drinking.

Jay makes good on his promise. One shot becomes two becomes three, and a cocktail in a comically large pitcher before you wake up the next morning to Sakura hogging the duvet, and no memory of anything beyond sitting down at the bar.

While lying on your back you curse two versions of yourself: the first for leaving the window open before you left, and the second for having so much to drink. Staring up at the ceiling, you attempt to go over your interactions with Jay using a fine-tooth comb to figure out just how badly you humiliated yourself last night. Given the fact that you don’t remember what happened after 1 a.m. (or so), this doesn’t take too long, and the corners of your lips quirk up into a smile as you think about the way his hand felt in yours.

Your memory tells you that he smiled a lot, but this seems like an insignificant detail because Jay always smiles a lot. There was a pitcher. A big one. Inside it was a vibrant, sweet, too cheap to be true cocktail that you sipped, blinked, and opened your eyes to find yourself in bed. The unaccounted-for period fills you with a visceral sense of dread, leaving you unsure if you shiver because of the temperature in your room or out of sheer embarrassment.

The notifications you find on your phone only make you feel more nervous, so you cover your eyes with your hand before checking them. You were mentioned in Chaewon’s Instagram story (which means you behaved catastrophically), and you have a text from Jay (which .. well you’re not quite sure what to make of this). Through the gap in your fingers, you start by looking at the story, uncontrollable butterflies in your stomach from what you see. A picture (on close friends) of you sitting in Jay’s lap with his arms wrapped around your wairs, and his chin resting on your shoulder; the two of you donning wide grins with THESE TWOOOOOOO 😍😍😍 written over it.

Jay’s text is simple yet sweet: hope u got home okay, was realy nice getting to chill w u again <3. You don’t even realise that you’re giggling until Sakura stirs next to you.

you: i did thank uuuuuuu

you: sorry if i was weird though haha

You say. Although all things considered, you can’t really think of anything to be haha-ing about but Jay’s reply comes so quickly that you barely have the time to dwell on this fact. “Nahhhh you were so cute dw,” he texts back.

With your stomach doing somersaults, you turn over in the bed, burying your head in the pillow to muffle a squeal.

Sakura wakes up.

While in the shower, you let the water hit you directly in the face for a bit with your eyes screwed tightly shut under the stream. And not a single thought occurs to you other than how cute Jay seems to think you are.

jay: do you have class today

you: slept in

jay: L

jay: for me.. i wanted to see you again

Your jaw falls open as you read the message, and over your shoulder, Yunjin lets out the gasp that you hadn’t been able to. “Oh, my God!” she says, watching as a cheek-aching smile creeps up on your lips. A small celebration ensues while the two of you squeal and kick your feet like children. And then your phone vibrates again.

jay: could still link if ur down?

jay: hold up

Yunjin pulls air through her teeth. “Could still link if you’re down,” she reads before taking the phone from your hand. “Fuckboy text, ignore.”

Knowing you’re not likely to win the argument that Jay’s not a fuckboy — even though he’s not one, you think — you roll your eyes. “So what if he’s a fuckboy?” you frown, pulling your knees to your chest.

“If a fuckboy was supposed to be liked he’d be called a like boy,” Yunjin says as if reciting scripture. “Text Jaemin back if you want a fuckboy.”

You don’t mean to groan out loud at her tone. “Jaemin’s not a fuckboy, he’s just.. a guy. Who.. likes to fuck.”

The sound of the front door opening prompts you to pause the TV, and the two of you crane your necks towards the open doorway to hear what’s going on. It’s Chaewon giggling loudly before speaking.

“Thanks for bringing me home.”

A deep chuckle sounds through the hall. Jeno. Of course. “You’re my girl,” he says and his smile is audible through his words. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Chaewon giggles at this too, and, pressing play on the remote, you share a look with Yunjin as you hear the beginning of a wet kiss. Brooklyn Nine-Nine gets through an entire cold open and the theme song before she – looking fresher than ever in her boyfriend’s sweatpants – joins you both on the couch.

“What’d I miss?” she asks.

“Yunjin thinks Jay’s a fuckboy.”

Chaewon lets out a snort. “Well, yeah, anyone could’ve told you that, dude’s best friend is Lee Heeseung,” she says, though quickly changes her tune as if remembering her audience. “It’s all just rumours though, people see a good-looking guy who’s overly friendly and flirts with everybody, and posts obvious thirst traps to his Snapchat story, and just assume he’s a fuck boy..” she trails off, sinking a little in her seat.

Somewhat disheartened, you nod your head. “Right.”

“So what did I miss?” Chaewon asks again, pointing at the TV this time.

Still in Yunjin’s custody, your phone vibrates in her lap and she gasps as she reads the screen. “A reformed fuck boy?” she says, holding the phone up for you and Chaewon to read.

jay: would you like to hang out with me later?

You grin despite yourself, reading the message and reading it again before telling him “yes”, and later can’t come soon enough. The time slips by like molasses and you finally meet up with Jay -four decades- two hours later, with no set plan, at the library where he approaches you with Jake and a smile on his face.

Friendly as ever, Jake chats with you and keeps a pretty smile on his lips the whole time. “If you ever have a hard time with physics or math based classes, I’ve got you,” he offers, clearly happy to hear that you’re in STEM too.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you tell him, grateful as you remember the tears you’d shed over a Construction Mathematics lecture last year.

With a wave, Jake leaves the two of you alone, saying “See you later” before walking away. He excitedly glances over his shoulder to where you stand with Jay a few times.

After telling you that he “knows a spot,” Jay takes you on a bit of a walk, successfully distracting you from the distance by keeping you talking. He listens enthusiastically while you ramble about a show you started, and you like the feeling in your chest when he says he’ll check it out.

With a “ta-da,” Jay extends an arm to the gate in front of you. A play park. “We’re here!” he says, struggling to mask the excitement in his voice as he walks towards the empty play area. “It’s no fun when there’s kids here so I brought us the long way.”

As you follow him through the gate, you can’t help but feel a bit nervous. The last time you’d been sober at a play park you were probably 15 or so, cutting through the park on your walk home from school with your friends. You’d spin the roundabout at lightspeed cackling at the screams of terror coming from those sitting on it, and talk about your crushes while calming down on the swings.

Jay sits on one of the swings and watches you, and even though you’re not too sure what to talk about, you’re pretty sure confessing your crush on him as you sit next to him might send him running in the opposite direction. Instead, you clear your throat and look over at him. “So your “spot” is a play park?” you ask, using your feet to rock you back and forth.

He pulls air through his teeth, scrunching his nose and tilting his head. “Would you prefer it if I took you to CP in the Sky?”

If Jay had his car with him, you might have hoped for that. Most of the boys in your city who drive, including Jaemin, have been known to take girls to a spot they know. Super quiet, private, and almost as pretty as you, they’ll say, and take you up to ‘Car Park in the Sky’; the city’s most notorious hook-up spot. Though, Jaemin hadn’t exactly been secretive about wanting to hook up and actually only drove there after you’d told him about it.

You shake your head. “The park is good, it’s great.”

Conversation ebbs and flows between the two of you, the sounds of nature and the swings creaking keeping you company. It’s nice spending time with Jay like this. Sober. And not holed up in the library or a cafe with assignments and deadlines on your mind.

You don’t mean to gain momentum but you do, swinging about as high as you can, gasping when you see a car over the top of a climbing frame.

“What is it?” he asks, laughing to himself when you jump off the swing.

“I wanna take a drive!” you call out over your shoulder, jogging over to the wooden stationary car you saw.

Jay’s footsteps sound after yours, and he grabs you by the wrist before you climb into the driver’s side. “Did you get your licence yet?”

You shake your head, watching as his mouth falls open, bracing yourself for a lecture on how a girl of your age should be driving already.

He looks aghast, in genuine distress before he speaks. “What makes you think I’m gonna let you drive?” Jay nods his head to the other side of the car. “Go.”

Letting out the most exaggerated sigh you can manage, you comply, dragging your feet to the passenger side and climbing in. Jay follows suit, sitting down next to you on the small connected seat built with kids in mind, and his thigh presses up against yours.

“Don’t be upset, everyone knows passenger princess is way more fun than actually driving.”

And rationally, you know he’s not specifically calling you a princess but your tummy turns nonetheless.

“Whatever,” you mumble, faking a sigh and struggling to suppress your laughter when he buckles a fake seat belt. Jay gives you a disapproving look when you don’t move to do the same. “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he says solemnly, though you can see the smile teasing at his lips. “Better safe than sorry, that’s what I always say.”

There’s nothing behind his words, no hidden meaning but you read into them anyway, hoping he can’t hear the way you gulp at the thought that plagues you. For some reason, you’ve chosen this hill to die on, shrugging at him and turning to look straight ahead.

Jay sighs dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose before leaning over you to grab your ‘seat belt’ and buckle in by himself. He takes his time though, and the way he looks you dead in the eye makes you wish you’d just done it yourself. His face is close to yours, his breath warm against your skin, creating a welcome contrast to the cold air around you. He lingers for a beat before sitting up straight and clicking the belt into place.

“Finally,” he whispers, putting an imaginary gear stick into reverse and draping his arm over the back of your connected seat. You can’t help but watch as he looks over your shoulders before moving the car, liking the way his side profile looks under the rapidly setting sun. Something stops him, he looks at you. “I can’t focus with you staring at me like that,” he says, taking his hand from the wheel to touch your cheek.

Your breath catches in your throat. Jay grins, gently turning your face away from him. You stare over at the roundabout and feel just as dizzy as you would have if you’d taken him up on his offer to spin you on it.

Jay gets on with all the necessary checks before ‘starting’ the car and ‘driving’ off. “What are you thinking about?”

It probably wouldn’t be appropriate to tell him that you’re thinking about the way it felt when he put his fingers to your cheek. Or how gentle he was with you, only pushing you a little bit and then guiding you the rest of the way. So you keep that to yourself. “The movies.”

You hear Jay chuckling next to you. “All of them?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “The drive-in kind. Have you been?”

“I went once.”

You gasp, excited. “Really? What did you see?”

Jay thinks about it for a while. He thinks about it really hard before shaking his head, “You know, I don’t think I was paying much attention.”

“You spent all that money on a ticket and didn’t even pay attention? What were you doing?” The words rush out before you can stop them and you cringe a little thinking about the possible answers.

He turns his gaze back out on the road. “Sleeping,” he mumbles, swallowing thickly.

You wish you could go back in time to stop yourself from asking, finding an answer to the question: “Is it better to speak or to die?”

“Hey, we can go to the drive-in right now! I just need to put this thing in park and we can watch any movie you want!” he says, stopping the car and turning as much as he can in his seat to face you. “Any movie that’s available with a Netflix subscription!” he adds, smiling when you do.

Cramped together in the front seat of the stationary car, the two of you watch The Devil Wears Prada and get about halfway through before Jay’s phone hits 10% — and it’s probably the best movie watching experience you’ve ever had.

You take Jay up on his offer to walk you home, and he chats with you about the movie, telling you how much he thinks it totally blows that Miranda Priestly isn’t a real person that he can work for after graduation, but he seems happy enough when you suggest that he could become Miranda Priestly.

Reaching the familiar crossing by the student union, you look up at him. “If it’s easier, you can just head your way from here. I can literally see my building,” you offer, feeling bad about him walking so far out of his way.

Jay scoffs like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “I’m not gonna make you walk by yourself.”

“It’s barely five minutes,” you tell him, shaking your head. “You don’t have to.”

“YN?”

“Hm?”

A pretty smile spreads across his lips. “I want to, let’s go.” And Jay hardly gets to start telling you about his upcoming mock trial before you reach your flat.

“This is me,” you say, pointing at the door to your building.

He lets out a dry chuckle. “You’re kidding.”

You shake your head. He frowns, looking terribly cute with his lips turned down like that. Though it doesn’t last for long and he raises his brows when you gasp. “You know, we came from a place I’ve never been before, and I’m starting to think this might be the wrong street,” you say, struck by the sudden realisation. “We should probably walk around the block a couple more times, just to really be sure.”

Listening to your words, Jay beams at you and it’s heavenly. “I heard it can actually take, like, 4 or 5 walks around the block if you want 100% certainty.”

“Oh yeah,” you giggle. “I think I’ve heard that too. Should we make it 6?”

“Perfect.”

To your surprise, you’d both been wrong. As it would turn out, the required number of, very slow, walks around a student housing complex to be 100% sure, completely beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re at the right place is ten.

“Hey, uh, how about we do one more lap? Just to make sure? For the absolute best measure,” Jay suggests, eyes twinkling under the streetlamp. He almost looks a little nervous, burying his hands in his pockets as he watches you.

“Sounds good.”

Just like your last few walks around the student housing block, fallen leaves rustle under your footsteps, and the back of Jay’s hand still brushes against yours, but this time feels different. Maybe because there’s a finality to this; the last lap. You couldn’t possibly ask him to spend any more time walking around here. Could you?

“This neighbourhood is so cute, all the student apartments clustered together like this, I love it,” he says, looking over at you.

“It’s nice knowing that some of my friends, and the people I like partying with, live so close, but it’s always so noisy around here,” you tell him, continuing when he doesn’t speak. “‘Cause it’s all just a bunch of 18–20–somethings that live here, and The U’s just down the street. The noise is fun when I’m part of it, but when I’m studying or just trying to sleep it’s annoying.”

“Don’t you think it’s kinda cool though? There’s always something happening. So even if the girls aren’t down to go out, you’re not exactly short on plans.”

You’d never really thought of it like that. Probably because Yunjin is always down to go out. But you like the way he puts it. You nod, reminded of your classmates who live in the building right next to where you’re walking. “Yeah, I should probably text Minjeong more.”

“And if not you can always hit me and see what I’m doing,” he says at the same time.

You stop walking, and your heart — feels like it — stops beating.

Jay, noticing this, stands in front of you, hands help up defensively as he shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that, obviously. I just thought it’d be cool if you weren’t doing anything and I wasn’t doing anything, maybe we could link and do nothing together,” he explains. “I’m stupid, sorry.”

This might be the first time you’ve ever heard Jay ramble like this, and your heart does a twirl just seeing his worried expression. “I think if I’m not doing anything, and you’re not doing anything, then it’d be cool for us to link and do nothing together, Jay,” you smile, liking the way he visibly relaxes, his shoulders falling slightly and an exhale curling out of his mouth and into the air.

“Cool.”

When, for the 11th time, you reach your building, you turn to Jay and hesitate a little, unsure of what to say. Glancing at him, it looks as though he’s feeling the same way. A silence falls over the two of you.

Finally, Jay speaks. “Goodnight,” he says, pulling you into a hug.

Despite your surprise, you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him close. You hope he can’t feel the way your heart is racing. Or the way it starts to pick up when you catch a whiff of his scent. Warm and cosy, tempting in a strange way that you can’t quite put your finger on but you like all the same.

When Jay lets go of you, you look up at him almost instinctively. You don’t mean to stare at his lips but you do, gulping at how close they are. You want to kiss him. Not any more than usual, but the urge is there. “Goodnight,” you say, taking a step back and walking up the path to the door.

Using your key fob, you unlock the door, turning to look over your shoulder and thankfully finding Jay still standing there, watching you with a stomach-turning smile on his face. “I had a really nice time tonight,” you say, smiling back.

“Yeah?”

You nod. “We should hang out more.”

“I think so too.”

“Cool,” you smile, biting your lip. “Goodnight, Jay.”

“Goodnight, YN.”

“Could you, text me? When you get home, so I know you’re, like, safe.”

Jay beams at you, nodding his head. “Of course.”

After a week (eleven days) of texting and hanging out with Jay when you can, you find yourself spending 3 hours of your Friday afternoon taking notes in your Sustainable Development lecture, and coming to the realisation that none of the course content is relevant to the report you’re trying to get through.

Seeing Jay leaning on the wall outside your class when you leave is a welcome surprise; he wears a thin pair of glasses and a smile that makes your heart stutter a bit as he stands up straighter, greeting you when he sees you and quickly falling into your step. “I meant to ask you earlier, are you going to the game on Saturday?” A beat passes. “Football,” he clarifies. “First home game of the season.”

“Maybe if my friends are going.”

Jay seems to think about this for a moment as you round the corner at the end of the corridor and he holds the door to the stairwell open. “After you.”

You mumble a thank you and count six steps before he speaks again.

“I’m going,” Jay informs you, his hand meeting the back of his neck to scratch awkwardly at it. “I mean, I’m gonna be on the pitch but.. I’ll be there.”

A breathy laugh slips from your lips at this added information; how sweet of the football team’s captain to let you know that he’ll be at his team’s football game on Saturday. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I just think it’d be cool to see a friendly face in the crowd when I score the winning goal.”

Given Jay’s unending kindness, you imagine that most of the faces in the crowd — or at least the ones from your uni — will be friendly, especially if he scores the winning goal. The thought causes a smile to itch at your lips as you consider that maybe he means that it’d be cool to see your friendly face in the crowd. And who could say no to that?

The rest of the conversation goes smoothly and Jay slows down when you reach the second floor. “I have some admin shit to work out, but I’ll see you at the game?” he asks, watching you with hopeful eyes and chewing on his bottom lip.

Knowing full well that you’ll be there, you pretend to think about it for a moment. “Maybe.”

Jay chuckles at this, tilting his head. “Please?”

“Maybe,” you repeat, despite already planning your outfit. Did you wash your white shirt or will you be doing laundry tonight? You wave at Jay when he waves and make your way down the rest of the stairs while clicking mindlessly through Instagram stories.

Nothing interests you until you reach IG user onyourm__ark's story; a picture of IG user 39saku_chan in his football jersey. You hit the like button and pretend to believe that the song choice (Infrunami by Steve Lacy) was made purely out of sheer enjoyment of the artist’s early work.

With a smile on your face, you text the group chat to solidify your weekend plans.

you: are u going to the football game tmrw

cw: not even if u paid me

yj: hard no

yj: i’m going to the party AFTER the game though

yj: why?

you: it’s nothing dw

cw: ???

you: jay invited me..

The chill of October’s first evening is unkind on your face as you sit amongst the rowdiness of drunk uni kids, cheering and groaning in unison as the game trudges on, and somehow Kazuha manages to sleep through it all with her head on your shoulder.

“Fuuuuck,” Yunjin groans, shivering in the seat next to you. “I hate sports.”

“Says the captain of the hockey team,” you say, voice coming out muffled behind the top of your jacket.

“Playing and watching are, like, completely different.”

You’re sure Yunjin’s right, she has to be, but you have to admit that there’s something more than slightly entertaining about watching a group of boys chasing a ball around and yelling expletives at one another, all while number 99 keeps a huge grin on his face, laughing at his teammate’s temper. Or lack thereof.

However, the novelty wears off at around 8:45 when the ref calls for half-time; a chill runs down your spine as you’re struck with the realisation that university football games are full-length. But other than Yunjin’s teasing, there’s no use pretending that you hate the sight of Jay lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face.

As the players retreat from the pitch and some students start to clear the stands, Yunjin gets up to stretch. She hums along to the song playing while you watch from your seat with aching knees, slightly envious and trying not to move too much and wake up Kazuha who sleeps soundly on your shoulder.

With her arms above her head, Yunjin lets out a yawn. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’d really rather be doing a reading for marketing than be here any longer.”

“And I’d rather be helping you out,” you say, frowning a little when Kazuha stirs. “Hey, what do you think they do during half-time?” you ask distractedly.

She thinks about it for a beat, eyes flicking to the pitch before looking back to you. “We usually strategise, use the bathroom, get water — quick things like that,” she says, raking a hand through her hair, watching as you shift a little in your seat to get your phone from your pocket when it vibrates. “They have a lot longer than we do though.”

jay: are you having fun?

you: yeah you guys are great, good game so far :)

Yunjin scrunches up her nose as she reads the exchange. “God, you’re so boring,” she sighs, taking the phone from your hands, and typing something before showing the screen to you.

“We should link at the party later,” you read, scoffing as you take it back and delete the message. “I’d never say that.” In those words.

jay: hahaha i think you might be my good luck charm

A dramatic gasp comes from a now-awake Kazuha. “Don’t reply!”

You heed this advice, joining her as she stands up to stretch as well.

“Look how much fun they’re having,” Kazuha sighs, pointing over at Sakura and Chaewon in their seats close to the pitch. They dance along to the music blaring through the speakers and laugh so loudly you can hear them despite their distance. “Why didn’t we join them?”

You think about it for a bit, filled with regret. “At the time, pregaming before the game and then pregaming again before the party seemed intense but..” you trail off, watching your friends clutch their stomachs in laughter. “Next time.”

“Next time,” Kazuha repeats, slouching in her seat. “I’m clearing your drink supply when we get back.” There’s a frown on her face when she speaks but she’s quick to perk up at the sound of your text tone, grabbing the phone for herself.

jay: are you coming tn? got a feeling that congrats will be in order

you (technically kazuha): wouldn’t miss it !!!

“Three exclamation points? I’m not that desperate,” you say defensively, nudging her in the ribs.

As if on cue, Yunjin reads another text. “I saw his notes again, his handwriting is so cute and ugly, agh I’m literally clutching my chest, he’s perfect,” she says, her voice high-pitched and mocking.

Hearing your typed words out loud from someone else’s mouth is troubling, especially because “It never seems that bad when I’m typing,” you frown, immediately checking your phone when it goes off.

jay: awesome :) see u there

jay: !!!

The game’s second half goes by much quicker and in the end, they lose 5-3, leaving you and Yunjin struggling to keep your laughter to yourselves at the sight of the FIRST W OF THE SEASON banner hanging up in the living room of the house that most of the footballers share. With linked arms, the two of you make your way to the kitchen to get something to drink. Already feeling the buzz from pregaming, you settle on a cup of lemonade which Yunjin rolls her eyes at.

“Shut up,” you say, eyeing her over the rim of your cup.

Yunjin holds her hands up defensively, spilling a few drops of her tequila-vodka concoction. “I didn’t even say anything.” For a couple of minutes, you pretend to listen as Yunjin tries to come up with a game plan for the night, nodding and humming along when she pauses, and trying to decipher the animal code names she’s using. A gasp. “I see him! Black cat and penguin sitting out on the half wall.”

You watch as she leans over the sink to get a closer look out of the window. “I feel like saying exactly where they are makes the code names redundant.”

“I feel like you’re redundant.” A beat passes. “Just be yourself, and if he says something funny, laugh and put your hand on his bicep while you do.”

“Noted.”

Yunjin doesn’t let you go outside without taking a sip (or three) of the poison in her cup, and after you gag over the sink, the two of you make your way into the garden, sights set on the half wall where “black cat” now sits alone. A potent mixture of the scent of tobacco and weed hits you the second you open the back door, and the two of you leave the house to make a beeline to Jay, apparently to Yunjin’s displeasure, given the way she asks you three times to play beer pong with her when some of the basketball boys start setting up cups for the next round.

“No,” you say. Three times.

As if sensing your presence, Jay whips his head around right before the two of you reach him, a bright smile gracing his face as he waves at you with his whole arm. He seems to glow against the darkness of the night, bright, dreamy, an unreal quality that leaves you feeling fuzzy around the edges. Jay, you think, over and over and it starts to sound made up. Jay. Jay. Jay. Until you reach him. He stands up when you guys are close enough. “You’re here,” Jay says with a smile, pulling you into a hug. With his arms around your waist, his hold is somehow both tight and gentle. Secure. Safe.

“Hey,” you say, voice muffled by the fabric of his hoodie. A whiff of his scent hits you, flooding your senses. Fresh, citrusy, and undeniably Jay. A dizzying combination, so light, and distinctly him in a way that makes your heart beat a bit faster.

When Jay lets go of you to hug Yunjin, you take the last sip of your drink and almost wish you’d taken her cup instead; your lemonade is sweet to the tongue but does absolutely nothing to boost your confidence. You watch as they greet each other while Jay sits back down. Standing in front of him with your arm against Yunjin’s, you feel as though you've missed the window to sit down too and opt to continue standing next to her.

“We like your banner,” you say, pointing in the direction of the house behind him.

Following your finger, Jay lets his head whip around towards the back of the house. Yunjin uses the time he spends looking over his shoulder to nudge you, nod her head in his direction, and mouth the word “sit” at you. So you do.

If he’s surprised to turn back around barely a second later and find you right beside him, Jay doesn’t show it. He gives you a warm smile and knocks his knee against yours before speaking. “What, first w of the season?” He tilts his head. “And here I thought you were a good luck charm, twenty,” he says with a chuckle when you nod.

Yunjin’s brows raise, and you feel yours rise too. “Twenty?” she asks.

“The hockey jacket,” he answers without missing a beat. “Speaking of, when’s your next game?”

“Oh, we’re playing the Foxes next week,” Yunjin rakes a hand through her hair. “TDU, you know?”

Jay nods, turning his attention back to you. “Can I look forward to seeing you on the field, twenty?”

Tilting your head, you pull air through your teeth. “You know what, I actually just got benched, like, right now,” you say, liking the way Jay laughs. “I’m out for the rest of the season.”

After clapping a hand to his mouth, Jay points at you. “Did they get you on a drunk and disorderly after the mixer?” he asks through a laugh.

In horror, you watch while Yunjin’s head falls back with laughter as she lets out cackles that only unsettle you. “That’s exactly what happened!”

“I was not.. disorderly,” you say meekly, finding sudden interest in the hem of your skirt.

It sounds as though Jay says: “You didn’t tell her how she got back home?” though you’re finding it difficult to focus on much other than trying to recover your missed hours after the hockey mixer.

You’ve gone on countless nights out, spent many mornings after vowing never to drink again, and, on multiple occasions, have gotten too drunk to enter the club. But even then, in the past, your memory has only ever been.. spotty, nonlinear. Never completely void for hours at a time, and it’s concerning. After tonight, you really won’t drink again.

Except on birthdays.

And when you go to the club. Or to parties. Or when you’re bored with the girls. But again, apart from that? Never.

“How did I g—” you start, though Yunjin cuts you off.

“I think Zuha’s lifting her leg again, hold on,” she groans, looking over Jay’s shoulder at the glass doors leading to the kitchen. Yunjin disappears back into the house and it’s not until you watch her slide the back door shut behind her that you remember Kazuha having too much to drink at pres and having to stay in with Chaewon.

When you look at Jay, he watches you with knitted brows. “Kazuha’s doing what?” he asks.

“Ballet,” you explain. He nods.

Neither of you speak for a moment. While you chew on the inside of your cheek, you can’t help but wonder if you should’ve followed Yunjin, or if you should’ve had less to drink at the mixer. You reckon the fact that Jay’s still talking to you must mean you didn’t do anything that you can’t recover from, but you can’t shake the feeling that your trip home that night was less than pleasant.

“Hey,” Jay says quietly, catching your attention with concern lacing his features. “What do you look so down for?” he asks.

Though terrified of the answer, you repeat your earlier question. “How did I get home?” you ask, wondering if the Earth usually opened up to swallow people whole or if you’d have to put in a special request.

Jay licks his lips, using his hand to push your shoulder playfully. “I have no idea,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I was talking to Yunjin at the library on Tuesday, I think, and she told me you can’t remember anything. I just wanted to freak you out.”

You feel heat under his touch and relief from his words, though something about him talking with Yunjin seems to jostle you slightly. “Yunjin was at the library?”

Briefly, what looks like disappointment flashes across Jay’s face, replaced quickly with a pretty smile, light, playful. “You care more about Yunjin being at the library than me asking your friend about you?” he asks.

“You were asking my friend about me?”

“Yeah, I think you’re cute,” Jay says sweetly, smiling at you in a way that makes your cheeks burn even when you look down at your lap.

There’s something about the way he says it, so casually as if telling you the time or today’s date, that throws you off. It doesn’t make any sense to you that some of the most vivid sensations that Jay makes you feel are just that: sensations. You know that your stomach doesn’t actually have butterflies in it and that your heart isn’t really twirling in your chest, but it sure feels like it. You wonder if he also feels like that sometimes. You earnestly hope that if he does, it’s because of you.

He seems nearer than before when you look at him, and for fear that you might kiss him if he gets any closer, you bring your empty cup to your lips, lean back a little, and pretend to sip. Its emptiness isn’t lost on Jay, however, who chuckles, asking if you want a refill. While walking towards the house, you listen as he tells you what the team normally get up to during half-time (mostly strategising and pretending not to hear Heeseung’s snores), and silently beg your cheeks to cool down. His hand is heavy on the small of your back as he ushers you inside first, sliding the door shut behind him, and gently pushing you towards the kitchen island.

You let yourself lean against the counter, ignoring the fluttering in your stomach as you watch him reach for a visibly sticky bottle of your favourite drink without asking what you’d like. Though before actually touching it, his eyes widen. “Wait, I have something for you,” he says, holding out a hand for you to take. “Come on.”

Jay weaves his fingers with yours, leading you through the house and up the stairs into a bedroom. He closes the door gently behind you, stepping over a couple of backpacks before sitting on the end of the bed, and tugging at the zipper on one of them.

For a moment you watch as veins appear on his hands and have to physically tell yourself to drag your eyes to anything else, eventually settling on the walls. Walls that are covered in countless glossy 4x6 prints, some shots of landscapes, groups of people, out-of-focus beer bottles and.. “You have a lot of photos of Mark Lee in here,” you comment, scanning the room around you. “And it doesn’t look like you’re.. in any of them,” you continue as you notice a grainy polaroid stuck to the wall next to the light switch — a picture of Mark making out with his best friend, Sakura “give me a break, a boy and a girl can be just friends” Miyawaki, and make a mental note to bring it up later.

Jay glances at you as if you’re the one sleeping in a Markkura shrine. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s his room,” he chuckles. “You can sit down, you know,” he adds after a beat, moving over a bit on the bed.

With a nod, you look at some more of the pictures as you make your way over to the spot next to him, a photo of Mark and Jake with their middle fingers to the camera catching your eye. And holding it for so long that you trip a little over one of the backpacks before sitting down and pretending nothing happened. Thankfully, Jay doesn’t seem to notice.

“It’s not much by the way, don’t get your hopes up,” he warns, his hand still hidden by the fabric of his bag.

“Got it.”

Despite his earlier disclaimer, he makes a show of the whole thing. “Ta-da!” His voice is a little singsong as he brings the obje—bottle of Smirnoff Ice into view.

“Thank you?” The bottle is cold in your hands when you take it from him, reading the ABV 4% on its label and wondering how many of these Sunghoon must have had to drink to have been stumbling the way he was that night. You also can’t help but wonder what reason Jay has for buying you a bottle and then taking you into the privacy of Mark’s bedroom to give it to you.

“Yeah,” he trails off a little, letting his hand come up to scratch the back of his neck. “You looked pretty crushed the other night when Heeseung finished that one bottle.”

You can’t help the scoff that comes out. “Crushed? I mean, I might’ve frowned.”

“Frowned? You were near tears, I was worried about you.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious, every time I looked at you, you had this.. upset look on your face.”

“Well, maybe you should stop looking at me so much.”

Jay’s eyes sparkle under the light, flicking back and forth from your eyes to your lips as he brings a hand up to your face, tucking some hair behind your ear, his fingers hot on your skin, unmoving. His eyes lock with yours. “Come on,” he says in a low voice. “You know there’s no stopping that.”

A smile tugs at your lips. Jay bites his. His gaze drops back down to your mouth. Lingers. And in what almost seems like an alcohol-induced hallucination, he leans in. Slightly. As if testing the waters. As if waiting for a sign that you want him to stop. A sign that you want him to continue. Anything. His hand is heavy on your cheek when he cups it in his palm, skin rough against yours.

Mere inches away, Jay’s lips seem more tempting than ever. Separated only by the distance of a breath and your nerves, you try to settle yourself. To put your heart at ease. But how could you relax when he looks at you like that; his gaze soft, tender, all of his attention on y—The bottle slips from your hands, cool against your thighs, reminding you of its existence. Jay flinches when you do.

“Let’s have a drink!” you suggest, though the absence you feel when he takes his hand from your face makes you wish you hadn’t.

“Sure.”

The cap screws off the bottle with a few satisfying clicks, and Jay, amused, shakes his head when you offer him the first sip. “After you,” he says.

Without a second thought, the bottle touches your lips and the sweet, sweet taste of Smirnoff Ice touches your tongue, coating your mouth and leaving you wishing the alcohol content was higher.

“Do you mind if I put my lips on it?” he asks while you pass the drink to him.

You shake your head, determined not to think of a double meaning, and watch as his lips connect with the bottle’s opening, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat while he drinks. When Jay pulls it from his mouth, he lets his tongue dart out to wet his lips. You wonder if it will taste different in his mouth, if his lips, wet from the drink, taste as sweet as they look.

Now that you realise you’ve shared an indirect kiss, you kick yourself for passing up the chance at a direct one, deciding that if you want him to kiss you, you’ll need to get closer. Step up your game a little. Maybe you’ll say something about his necklace, ask to get a better look.. And hopefully, he’ll take the hint and kiss you because you’re not really sure what else you could say.

Of course, you could opt to skip words altogether, taking his face in your hands, and pressing your lips to his. You’re sure that’s what Yunjin would do. And you’re sure that would be her advice to you if you asked her.

Jay hands the bottle back to you and you close it, determined to feel his lips on yours if it’s the last thing you do. And you quickly open the bottle again, one last sip for good luck. The soft laugh he lets out is breathy, and it’s hard to tell if the heat in your stomach is coming from the drink, or from the way you see him looking at you in your peripheral.

His straight teeth bite at his bottom lip, and he shakes his head when you offer him another sip. This time when you close the bottle, you do it for good, setting the glass on the floor so it doesn’t interrupt you again.

“I really like your necklace,” you say, off to a good start, following the plan.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Aw.. thanks,” he says, choosing now, of all times, to stop being a conversationalist.

In the quiet of the room, you realise that you hadn’t planned anything beyond the compliment. You let your eyes focus back on the charm hanging from his neck, trying to picture him with a fishing rod in his hand, and wellington boots on his feet. It doesn’t really work. “I didn’t realise you were so into fishing,” you blurt out, and the way he knits his brows together makes you wish you’d just grabbed him and planted a kiss on the lips he purses to the side while watching you.

“Me?”

“Yeah you, with your cute little hook on a chain.”

Jay squints at you. “Hook on a chain?” he repeats.

You let a hand reach up and press on the hook pendant on his necklace.

His shoulders rise and fall dramatically as he sighs, his hand coming up to wrap around yours, holding it to the base of his neck as the small (not) hook warms in your fist. “Why does everybody think it’s a hook?”

“It isn’t?”

“It’s the letter J.” He lets go of your hand to lift the charm. “See?”

You squint your eyes, leaning a little closer to him, gaze fixed on the little gold hook letter sitting near the base of his neck. “Ohhhh, right,” you say, but even from a few inches away, it still looks like a hook, and from this close, you can hear the way his breath hitches in his throat.

With an inhale, you find yourself lingering. Sticking around just long enough to make out the woodier notes of his cologne before moving back a little. Finally, you draw your eyes away from his neck, wanting to meet his gaze but finding yourself stuck on his lips instead. They sit slightly ajar, pink, pretty, sort of chapped in the way they always seem to be. His breath tickles your forehead. You sit straighter, noticing the way his eyes burn holes into you.

“Quit staring,” you mumble hypocritically.

Jay’s brows quirk up for a split second as he sits back on his hands. “I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Well, you’d have to be staring at me to know.”

“Do you want me to stop staring?”

He seems to consider this for a second before shaking his head. “No,” he tells you.

“What do you want then?” Your voice is soft when you ask.

“I wanna kiss you.”

Jay’s lips don’t move but you hear the word “really” being spoken out into the room like a question. Your voice doesn’t feel like your own and doesn’t fully register until Jay says: “Yeah,” so softly that it’s practically a whisper.

Jay wants.. to kiss you. You feel your breath catch in your throat and it seems even more ridiculous to think it than to have heard it from him. To see his lips move to form the words. I wanna kiss you, he’d said. You’d heard it. You’d seen it. It happened. He wants.. to kiss you.

“Do you want me to do that?” he asks, leaning in slightly, his hand rising to cup your cheek. Slower, gentler than last time.

You let your gaze meet his; regret flooding you immediately. Just as kind and soft as the rest of him, Jay’s eyes stare into yours, warm, and inviting, but, still, you can’t shake off your nerves. More than anything, you want to say yes; to say of course, can’t you tell? but you don’t trust yourself enough to open your mouth and speak to him. Instead, you nod, so slightly that for a moment you wonder if he even noticed. And then, there, in the dim privacy of Mark Lee’s bedroom, while your heart beats out of your chest, Jay kisses you for the first time.

His lips are warm against yours, the sweet taste of Smirnoff Ice only amplified as he holds you close. Soft, gentle, kissing Jay is everything you’d imagined it would be. You feel as though you might melt under his touch as his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer. So close that you’re nearly in his lap as he deepens the kiss, his tongue moving along yours.

It doesn’t feel real, it can’t be.

As if thrown by your thoughts, Jay pulls away. While attempting to form a coherent thought, you catch your breath, once again, regretting looking at him. He looks down the bridge of his nose at you with half-lidded eyes, and his pretty, pink lips sit parted, wet and plump from kissing. Jay leans in almost immediately, the moment cut short by his lips on yours once again.

It’s tangible this time; you couldn’t possibly make up the way his hand grips your ass or the way he groans softly when you whine into his mouth. He’s real, and he’s kissing you, and you only feel yourself growing dizzier, and dizzier the longer his lips move against yours. A gasp pulls you out of it and the two of you separate.

Looking in the direction of the now open door you see Sakura and Mark hand in hand. You can’t help the slight embarrassment that hits you at first, hating that, of all people, it had to be Mark to walk in and find you making out with someone on his bed.

Though you get a bit distracted seeing him and Sakura like this, they look cute together. His football hoodie covers her form completely, much longer than the dress she has on, as she leans into him, and a giggle slips from her lips when he lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around her waist instead.

Somewhat belatedly, and needlessly, Mark apologises, his eyes focused on you when he speaks but you can’t get the words out to respond to him. Jay chuckles at this, shaking his head and telling him not to worry about it as he stands up from the bed. You follow suit. Jay picks up your drink from the floor and takes you by the hand, telling Mark he’ll text him later while leading you out of the room. When you glance at Sakura, she’s grinning at you, mouthing: “Sorry,” before smacking your butt.

Jay hands you the bottle when the door closes, his hand slipping out of yours. A beat passes. And then another. He chews at his bottom lip. You clear your throat and the silence continues. It’s a shame to be standing around like idiots on the landing like this, you think.

“I..” he trails off, wiping his hands on his pants. He points over his shoulder with his thumb. “I should get back to the boys.”

Your heart sinks as you hesitate, unsure how to respond. Slowly, you nod. “Right, yeah,” you say.

“Later,” he mumbles, holding up his hand to wave stiffly at you before turning around to leave.

Deflated, you lean against Mark’s door while you search for your phone to ask Yunjin where she is. Maybe if you’d waited for a moment, you’d have seen the way Jay stopped at the top of the stairs to look over at you, seen the frown on his face when he saw that you weren’t looking at him. But instead, you read 2 texts from Yunjin.

yj: dude heso into u

yj: flirt more = hv fun upstairs

You spend the next three days pretending nothing happened at the party, avoiding Jay, and dreading going to uni. It’s just unfortunate that for you, pretending nothing happened looks like zoning out in the library while replaying the kiss in your head until your elbow slips off the desk. And avoiding Jay seems near impossible, given his tendency to show up everywhere. Or rather, your tendency to see Jay in everything.

Like the tiny little black cat you saw perched on the fence outside your apartment building, and the busker singing Harry Styles in the city centre. And the half-full bottle of Smirnoff Ice from that night that sits on your dresser with your perfume and jewellery, displayed with about as much sentiment as a trophy won at school for a random achievement.

Impulsively, you post a selfie to your Instagram story before hiding your phone under your pillow and leaving the room entirely, making yourself comfortable atop the kitchen counter and waiting for someone to come back home.

Chaewon gets home first, and quickly, arriving with a groan as she shrugs her jacket off and shuts the door behind her. “I hate uni,” she mutters. “I hate studying, I ha— Hey.” She jumps a little when she sees you in the kitchen. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, where’ve you been hiding?”

“My room.”

She nods, leaning comfortably against the doorframe. “You’re not going out tonight, right?”

You shake your head, amused by the look of relief that paints Chaewon’s features as she whispers thank God. “I’m gonna shower, and take a nap,” she informs you. “But when I wake up, it’s you, me, pizza, and whatever story Yunjin has from practice.”

“Can’t wait,” you say sincerely, stepping down from the counter.

With a wide smile on her face, she salutes you before dragging her feet to the bathroom. Completely endeared, you decide not to comment on the salute even though you think it’s sweet that she’s starting to copy her boyfriend.

The sounds of student housing on a Wednesday evening seep in through the open window as you pour yourself a glass of water, unable to stop wondering if Jay saw your story; and what he thought about it if he did. Wondering if he’d notice that the picture was from Saturday night.

Filling up your glass again, you take it to your room and pull your phone out of hiding. Along with a message from Yunjin telling you and Chaewon to order your food so it comes shortly after she gets home, you find that Jay hit like on your story. Then sent a reply ten minutes later saying: you’re sooo gorgeous.

With a smile on your face, you type out various forms of “thank you so much, you’re perfect,” before settling on a simple: thank uuu :D, and Jay’s response is immediate.

jay: i don’t think i’ve said that before

jay: how prettty i think you are

The heat that rises to your cheeks is troubling, yet despite your best efforts, you can’t get it to pass. Especially not when you read and reread Jay’s message. You press your eyes shut, willing the heat to pass, willing the grin on your face to fade. Neither works, in fact, they only worsen when you open your eyes to see the new messages waiting for you in the chat.

jay: it’s a lot bte

jay: *btw

You let out a romcom-worthy sigh, clutching the phone to your chest and laying down on the bed. A glow-in-the-dark sticker stares back at you from its spot on your ceiling, a single star that you’d won as a set of two at the arcade with Kazuha in December. The memory brings a smile to your face, even though you remember being a little annoyed after she turned down the other star when you tried giving it to her.

Another message from Jay makes your phone vibrate in your hands.

jay: sorrry

you: it’s okay

You tell him. Even though you’re not sure what he’s apologising for. Just like before, Jay reads the message immediately though this time his reply never comes.

With Yunjin now home from practice, and freshly showered, you sit on the couch with your flatmates, talking and laughing over the sound of the TV for hours until Netflix asks if you’re still watching, and Yunjin’s passed out with her cold, wet hair on your shoulder.

Pressing a wet kiss to your cheek, Chaewon retires to bed, whispering “Goodniiiiiiiiight,” in your ear before abandoning you. Tired as you are, a part of you feels bad about waking Yunjin so you decide to sit a while longer, moving the blanket from your lap to cover her up properly. But of course, this is the movement that wakes her up.

In a soft voice, you tell her goodnight, standing up from the couch to stretch your arms above your head.

“You never told me what happened on Saturday,” Yunjin says tiredly. “Kkura told me you and Jay were busy in Mark’s room.”

The mention of his name takes you back to that night. Back to Jay and the way his lips felt against yours, the way his hand held your waist, and the way he’d ditched you outside Mark’s room. A pit forms in your stomach; and as if reading your mind, Yunjin asks if you’re okay.

You sit down on the other end of the couch, bringing your knees up to your chest and telling the story from top to bottom. After recounting the night in detail from after she left you guys alone, you find yourself hyperaware of the differences between you and Yunjin. For you, the highlight of Saturday night was Jay kissing you and then running away after.

“Wait, Sakura and who?” she asks when you’re done.

For Yunjin, the highlight of the story seems to be Mark’s presence.

“Mark.”

“She told me she went on her own, what were they doing?”

Although you have some idea, you think it best to keep your knowledge to yourself. “They were looking for her phone,” you say, pleased to see that Yunjin accepts your answer and moves on.

“So then what?”

“He texted me hey on Sunday morning, which I ignored, and then a couple hours ago he replied to my story and told me how pretty he thinks I am,” you say, pausing to take a breath. “Then ignored my response.”

Yunjin sits silently, seeming to take in everything she’d just been told. Her eyes are focused on the TV screen ahead so you look over at it too. It had gone into standby mode, displaying nothing but an indistinct impression of the two of you.

And the silence continues.

In the TV’s cast, you can just about make out the way she tilts and then turns her head to look at you. “Maybe he’s just.. frazzled, or something, from being walked in on. How did you feel?”

The answer takes a while to come up with because for you, the night exists in two parts — Before kissing Jay, and everything else that happened when you left the room. This whole time, you’ve been so focused on him leaving, that you’ve barely given any thought to how you felt when Sakura opened the door. Frazzled, you think. Probably the best word to use. Embarrassed suits a bit better though.

“I was embarrassed about it, but only because it was Mark. If it had been you, or Chaewon, whoever, it would’ve been different because they’d walk in and go “oh sorry” or something and leave, but obviously, when it’s Mark going into his own room, he’s there for something, you know?” you explain, chewing at your bottom lip.

“Maybe that’s how he feels too.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t embarrassing enough to leave and never talk to him again.”

Yunjin exhales heavily. “I want to be on your side, really, I do, but isn’t that kinda what you did?” she asks, her voice hesitant as she tilts her head. “He texted you the next day and you didn’t reply, what do you think he’s thinking about right now?”

“He’s the one who said he should get back to the boys.”

“What if that’s just because he spoke first?” she suggests. “Obviously we don’t know what you would’ve said if you spoke first, because you didn’t, but I feel like you would’ve been like “I-I’m gonna get back to the girls” and ran away.”

Always correct, Yunjin is your worst enemy and your best friend rolled into one. Oh, how you hate her. Well, she’s correct about the fact that you would have said the same thing. You think. You press your lips together in a straight line and sink into your seat.

She sighs when you don’t speak. “Look, he talked to you today, and told you how pretty you are, which is a win, right?”

You nod reluctantly.

“So let’s celebrate that, celebrate the fact that you kissed Jay! Even better, the fact that he kissed you.” Yunjin pauses, for what you think is dramatic effect, before speaking again. “Just.. don’t sweat the small stuff, okay?” She stops again to yawn. “And text him back if he reaches out, or, text him first.”

Leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, you brush your teeth, watching as Yunjin does the same, sitting on the edge of the tub with her eyes shut. While gargling mouthwash, you think about the conversation you’ve just had and decide to take matters into your own hands. By pleading with God to put Jay in front of you and have him tell you that he likes you back.

Once again, the higher powers seem to be on your side. Kind of. Jay does end up in front of you to tell you that he likes you back. Kind of. But only after learning that you’ll have to start your report again; which, given that you’d only gotten through 800 of the required 4000 words, wasn't exactly criminal. It was an irritation that settled in you, mainly, as all of your research and the sources you’d found were now redundant in the face of such adversity.

Nonetheless, with heavy feet, you leave the lecture hall, trying to come up with a way to fake your graduation ceremony next year so you can secretly drop out. You draw a blank and find Jay waiting in line at the vending machine near the library’s entrance.

Even though you’d spoken with her on Tuesday night, here, today, on Friday afternoon, Yunjin’s words echo so clearly in your mind you almost want to peer over your shoulder to see if she’s there. You do. She isn’t.

Your formerly heavy feet lead you right over to Jay, who greets you with a smile. “How’s the report coming?” he asks, his tone light, easygoing, and clearly oblivious to the fact that his question strikes you like a knife to the gut.

The two of you shuffle forward slightly, now at the front of the queue. Waiting for your response, he punches E6 into the machine that rattles loudly, delivering his bottle of Lipton lemon.

“Not great,” you tell him, feigning nonchalance and watching as he presses E4 before squatting down to collect both drinks. “Are you heading to class?”

Standing up straight, Jay holds out the new(er) bottle of Lipton peach towards you. “What happened?”

Holding the drink in your hands, you fall into step with him and sigh despite yourself. “I have to start over.”

Jay’s eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly at your words. Dramatic. Cute. “Nooo,” he says sincerely. “How come?”

“I read the question wrong.”

“Oh,” he says. “That’s okay, at least you found out now rather than later. And you still have until December to get it done, that’s almost two months! I’m sure most people haven’t even read the question,” he tells you in a gentle voice.

There’s a fuzziness in your chest, and Jay’s words make you feel like everything will be alright. Even though you weren’t exactly cut up about the report, something about talking with him about it leaves you feeling soothed when you look up to give him a warm smile.

“I don’t have classes today, I’m just here to study,” he says, answering your earlier question as he leads you to a table.

You watch as Jay sits down, and decide to take a seat across from him, dumping your bag on the floor at your feet. His brows quirk up when you put the drink down on his side of the table, confusion evident in his voice when he says: “You don’t like peach tea anymore?”

All of a sudden your heart is pounding, and you grin despite yourself. Oh, Jay, you think. “It’s my favourite.”

Matching your smile Jay slides the bottle over to you. “It’s yours,” he says.

You can’t explain the overwhelming sense of gratitude you feel over a barely cold, 500ml bottle of tea, but it beams brightly on the table between you; radiant, glowy, the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. “Thank you,” you say sincerely in a soft voice, lest you knock the bottle out of its haze.

The deepest part of your brain romanticises the scene around you even further, and the table you sit at, in the smallest library on campus, starts to seem like something from a kid’s storybook. From a mythical land where the iced tea is luminescent, and you get to study with an angel who wears Chrome Hearts pants and olive green 6s.

“Can I read it when you’re done?” His question cuts through your thoughts. Surprised by how genuine Jay sounds, you glance back over at him to find him already looking at you, his lips pushed up into a soft smile that spreads flutters around your chest.

It takes you longer than you’d like to admit to realise what he’s talking about, but you tilt your head when you do. “You wanna read my paper on wind turbines and solar farms?” you ask.

Jay’s eyes widen briefly as if shocked that you’re even asking him that. “Of course I do,” he says, sounding almost offended, defensive maybe.

You eye him from across the table, sceptical. Jay seems to pick up on this. “Why wouldn’t I want to know about the UN’s advances towards net zero by 2030?” he asks, chuckling to himself when you raise a brow. He shrugs. “I got curious after you mentioned it.”

With burning cheeks, you watch him as he continues to talk, neither of you making any effort to start on the work you’re there to do. As much as you feel it’d be useful to get work done in the library — because it’ll allow you to go home and do nothing without guilt — you don’t see the point in half-assing your research and absentmindedly chatting with Jay, when you could ditch the research completely and fixate over the way his lips move to form his words.

“I lost my student card so I need to read while I’m in here. I think it’s better though; easier to stay focused, less distractions,” Jay tells you when you ask what brought him to uni just to study alone. “Usually,” he adds, gaze flicking up to meet yours with a teasing smile crossing his lips.

Jay’s words hold a flirtatious undertone that isn’t lost on you or the butterflies that take flight in your stomach. “I’m not a distraction,” you say, frowning slightly.

“I never said you were, but I had no problem getting my work done until you got here.”

Jay’s words remind you of your first test for Property Law in February. The two of you sat together at a table in the campus cafe, empty mugs and printed slides scattered across the space between you. For four hours, you highlighted sentences and rewrote notes to keep your hands busy until Jay walked you back to your flat, where you pulled an all-nighter so you could actually study. You got a 61 and slept for twelve hours afterwards.

“If it’s getting to you that much, I can go,” you offer, really, really, hoping he doesn’t take you up on it.

“No, please stay. I like spending time with you,” Jay admits with a slight downturn at the corners of his lips.

You try to work out how to echo his sentiment without sounding like a lovestruck fool, though you draw a blank, distracted by the way he– “Are you batting your lashes at me?” you ask through a chuckle.

Jay squints. “Is it working?”

You shake your head.

“Well, neither are you,” he points out, crossing his arms over his chest in a way that almost makes you feel scolded despite his light tone. You think you like it.

An overly dramatic sigh huffs its way out of your mouth as you roll your eyes at him, fighting a smile at the sound of his breathy laughter. “Whatever. Starting now, I’ll work on my paper. You focus on your reading, no distractions,” you suggest.

“Right, no distractions,” Jay repeats, his eyes falling to your lips.

Sticking to your word proves much easier than you’d initially thought and you manage to sit, mostly undistracted, for more than a little while, putting the paragraphs that can stay in italics, the bits that need to be amended in bold, and deleting the rest.

Your workflow is broken only when Jay speaks softly, “Is it cool if Heeseung works with us?” he asks, sending a text after you tell him that it’s okay.

And as if he’d been waiting around the corner, Heeseung shows up seconds later. “Jongseongieeeeee,” he coos when he sees Jay, extending a hand to pat his head and ruffle his hair.

Unable to hide his irritation, Jay’s face scrunches up at the interaction and in an attempt to stop the sudden attack, he grabs Heeseung by the wrist, seeming shocked when it works. You watch him fix his hair in his phone camera.

In the same playful tone, Heeseung says your name too, sitting down in the seat next to Jay. “I feel like I haven’t seen you since the hockey mixer.”

You can’t help the breathy laugh that comes out at the cute pout on his lips. “Because you haven’t seen me since the hockey mixer,” you say, smiling at Jay when you notice him looking at you.

“You weren’t at the football party, were you?” Heeseung asks, his eyes widening right when the words leave his mouth. “Riiiiiiiight, you were.” He mumbles to himself before covering his mouth with his hand. “I’m just..” he trails off, pointing at his laptop with his index finger before opening it and sinking in his seat.

There’s a nasty pit forming in your stomach while you watch Heeseung all but disappear behind his screen. And in the black screen of your laptop, you stare at yourself, pretending that: 1. The fingerprints and smudges don’t bother you, and 2. That you don’t notice the way Jay’s looking at you. Or rather, the fact that Jay’s looking at you. If you’d noticed the way he was looking at you, you might have picked up on the softness of his gaze. But you didn't, so you don’t.

Instead, the fact that Jay’s watching you only makes you feel worse. Though at least it looks like your hair is sitting nicely today, you think, glad to have at least one thing working for you rather than against you. Like the pit in your stomach, or the Lipton peach that tastes like nothing when you take the first sip.

In the presence of Heeseung - and the things he said - the three of you manage to get on with your work, free of conversation.

Reluctantly, you let the two boys walk you back to your place when you’re ready to go home. Heeseung leads the conversation, thankfully, with no more mention of the football party and even hugs you goodbye while Jay watches from a few feet away. Judging by the expression on his face, you’d think the person he’d liked for months kissed him and then ran away.

“Sorry,” Heeseung whispers, pressing his lips into a straight line.

With your key in the lock, you watch as they retreat, Heeseung nudging Jay when he reaches him and mumbling something that you can’t quite make out. Neither of the girls are home when you get inside and, sprawling out on the couch, you look for your phone to make plans.

you: we should go out tn

cw: tmrw ! i have a deadline

yj: broke friday or .. j*emins party

Too broke for broke Friday, the two of you find yourselves stepping over the legs of a sleeping Sunghoon to reach the open door to Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment. There are people everywhere, including the hall outside, but you suppose this is the benefit of student housing; none of your neighbours can complain about noise because they’re too busy being part of the commotion.

Jake almost spills his drink when he sees you both, saying “heyyyyy,” with a giggle and eyes that linger on Yunjin while he talks though he quickly excuses himself to take water to poor Sunghoonie.

The night is largely uneventful, much the same as every other night out you’ve had since starting college. Except for the part where Jay shows up,a massive grin on his face to greet your friends. Sakura, Yunjin, and Kazuha all get a “hey” and a brief hug. Jay regards you with a nod and a small smile. At least Kazuha seems to believe you when you tell her that you’re crying in Jaemin’s bathroom because you hate your outfit.

After a weekend of self-pity, you spend Monday at a coffee shop with Sakura, watching as she studi—“You could at least pretend to study, you know?” she sighs. “Every time I look up you’re either staring at me or using your phone, it’s distracting.”

With a frown on your face, you touch your mug to see if your coffee is cool enough to drink yet — it’s not — before flipping your notebook to a blank page and trying to write out some of the key points that you remember from Friday’s lecture. A part of you feels bad for neglecting your Architectural Practice class but it’s just not as interesting, and you tell yourself that you’ll dedicate all of your time to it after finishing your report. You definitely will not come to regret leaving three months worth of work to the very last minute.

You study with Sakura for a few hours until deciding that you simply cannot continue, and the two of you leave the cafe in favour of a Mcdonald’s drive-thru, eating your dinner in the dark parking lot before she drops you off.

On Tuesday night, you’re thankful that Yunjin and Kazuha don’t push you to go out with them when you say you’re tired, but when Netflix asks if you’re still watching Modern Family at almost 3 a.m., you wish they had.

You push yourself out of bed to do your skincare, and hear the two girls coming back home as you apply your last pimple patch. After Kazuha all but yells something about a huge pair of shoes by the door, it seems like they settle in the kitchen.

They’re sharing a bowl of cereal at the table when you get there. Feeling bad, you make instant noodles for them while Yunjin hugs you from behind. Both of you try your best to laugh quietly at Kazuha’s story about some box blond figure skater who completely blanked her when she tried flirting despite staring at her all night.

Once the food is ready, you sit up on the counter, watching them eat straight from the pot. Trying to talk to those two while they’re so invested in dinner is a waste of energy so you busy yourself on your phone instead, scrolling aimlessly until both girls kiss you on the cheek to thank you for looking after them. Kazuha gratefully drinks the glass of water you give her, and Yunjin, as you expect, is stubborn about it; taking three small sips before running away to her room.

The argument you can hear through the open window keeps you entertained as you wash the dishes, and you check your phone on the way to your room, finding two texts from Jay.

jay: i know it’s late but can we talk in person if you’re up

jay: it’ s important

They came in four minutes ago and you chew on your lip trying to figure out what he wants to talk about.

you: are you okay?

jay: can you come outside

With not even enough time to hit send on the three question marks you’d typed out, the distinct ring of a FaceTime call surprises you. Though what you find more surprising is the sight of your building’s door behind Jay’s face which just about fills the screen. Lit dramatically by an orange street light, he looks beautiful. Looks cute when his lips pout slightly around the words: come quickly and dress warm, as he successfully convinces you to leave the comfort of your bed.

Through the glass in the main door, you see him. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he looks up towards the sky and puffs visible breaths into the air above him. Jay turns around at the sound of the door opening. You feel your stomach lurch because he doesn’t smile when he sees you.

“Hey,” he says after a while, watching you intently, inspecting almost, as you shut the door softly behind you. His face softens, the smile he hadn’t given earlier coming through now. “Are you wearing my jacket?” His voice is soft too when he speaks, breathy enough for the smell of alcohol and vague peppermint to hit your nose.

“I thought I should probably give it back,” you nod. “Sorry I kept it so long.”

Jay shakes his head, hair shifting on his forehead from the motion. “No, I love it on you. Please keep it,” he pauses, taking a step towards you. “I want you to keep it.”

Thank God, you think. You hadn’t really been meaning to give it back, and you weren’t really sorry to have kept it so long, it just felt like the right thing to say.

The space between you is so small that you wonder if he can hear the way your heart rate starts to pick up. In the time you hadn’t talked, you’d seen him around campus, in the corners of story posts, but seeing him here in front of you is almost overwhelming. A gust of wind ruffles the jacket Jay has on and his scent unfurls right under your nose; warm, lived in, mixed with faint sweat and what you think might be tobacco. It creates a musk that leaves you weak at the knees.

“It was milk and cookies night,” Jay continues when you don’t respond, digging into his pocket and holding a plastic-wrapped cookie out towards you. “You like white chocolate chip, right?”

Hearing that it was milk and cookies night makes you wonder if you’d been too hasty when you turned down the girls’ invitation.

Despite the cold, Jay’s hand is warm when your fingers graze his. Letting your touch linger, you thank him sincerely, touched by the little things he seems to remember about you.

Even though you’re aware of the other students coming home from various nights out, and end up having to move out of the way so some of them can enter your building, it feels like the two of you are in your own world. You notice that his sights are locked on the cookie, on the spot where your fingers touch, allowing you to admire him freely.

Standing almost directly under the lamppost now, you notice that his cheeks and the tips of his ears are dusted with red. You feel a little bad, he must be freezing, you think. Your gaze falls to his lips that sit parted, chapped like you expect, and now you’re thinking of kissing him.

Clearing his throat, Jay moves his hand from yours to put it in his pocket. You do the same.

“I know I said I wanted to talk, but I just wanted to see you,” he says, looking you right in the eyes. “I wasn’t sure you’d come if I said that.”

You frown, wondering if this whole time he’s been avoiding you because he thought you didn’t want to see him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Jay only shrugs in response.

From over your shoulder, you hear the door opening. Jay’s eyes flicker in its direction. You turn your head to look too. A boy with pink hair frowns when both of you tell him you don’t have the lighter he’d been looking to borrow.

“I’m sorry about leaving after we kissed. And for avoiding you. That was stupid,” Jay says as soon as the door closes. “It was childish of me to do that instead of just telling you how I feel. I wasn’t gonna say anything, because I know you only see me as a friend, but I have to let you know that I like you, a lot.”

You stand around limply for a beat, staring up at Jay and trying to take in every single detail about this moment before you inevitably wake up. But this ‘dream’ doesn’t cut off where you’d been expecting it to. Instead, you feel your heart thudding against your ribs, your stomach flipping. The only thing you can get yourself to do is blink at the boy in front of you. The boy who likes you.

A lot.

“It’s just that, after Heeseung said that shit in the library and you couldn’t even look at me, I knew I didn’t have a chance with you and I just.. am trying to figure out how to be near you and pretend like I don’t want to drop everything and kiss you.”

“What’s stopping you?” you ask, surprised that your voice even comes out properly.

Jay’s gaze drops to your lips. Without noticing, the two of you had gotten so close that your chests are barely an inch apart; they’d probably touch if either of you took just one deep inhale. A beat passes. His gaze flicks up to meet yours and your breath hitches in your throat. You want to kiss him. You must. Right when you start to lean up towards him, to put your lips on his, he steps back.

“Fuck,” Jay mumbles, his brows knitting together as he shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

The ability to hold his liquor is something that Jay sees as both a blessing and a curse.

On the bright side, he can drink as much as he wants and won’t say or do anything he wouldn’t say or do when sober. His delivery might be a little off when he’s drunk but the point still stands.

On the not-so-bright, catastrophically dim side, however, Jay wakes up the morning after drinking with a vivid memory of everything that happened to him at whatever party he’d been to. Plus a killer migraine.

And so, since drunkenly showing up at your place with a cookie in his pocket and his heart on his sleeve two weeks ago, Jay’s been quietly pitying himself and gently encouraging Jake to work harder on physics so he can get some sort of time machine up and running.

Though it seems like you’ve been able to go on as normal. So normal, in fact, that Jay starts to believe the whole thing was just an elaborate dream. So elaborate that when he scrolls through your text thread, he finds the messages that you’d ‘exchanged’ that night. He finds the thought of having developed self-awareness in a two-week-long dream to be a greater comfort than the reality that you don’t like him back.

You would have said if you did. Right? Or at least brought up what he’d said. Asked if you could talk about it. You’d be so excited to see him again, sober, that you wouldn’t even be able to say anything except: “I like you too!” Right?

But you haven’t. So unless you’re going through trauma-inflicted amnesia, or someone has finally come up with the technology to invent The Neuralyzer, you really don’t like him back.

Jay had been so sure, certain that you liked him back. It just seemed so obvious; like the way you seemed to find him at every party, and how anytime you saw Jake in the engineering block you’d ask about him. Surely it wasn’t all in his head. The way that Chaewon and Yunjin had been teasing you at the hockey mixer, and how Yunjin made up that excuse to leave the two of you alone at the football party. It was all so.. like-y.

Even today, when you texted him asking to hang out. He was sure that you were finally (finally!) going to tell him you liked him too. So sure, he’d even told the boys that he’d be coming back home as someone’s boyfriend. As your boyfriend.

But instead, Jay finds himself climbing the stairs of his apartment complex wondering how the fuck he’d been so delusional. In his back pocket, his phone vibrates. Twice. Texts; both from you.

you: i forgot to say but lmk when u get home lol

you: and if u have time to hang out before ur game tmrw !

His heart twists in his chest as he reads your messages.

jay: okayyyyyyyyyyyyy, i can chill for a bit

jay: what did you have in mind?

After fishing his house key from his jacket, he twists it in the lock and crosses the threshold before texting you once more: home now :). You heart the message immediately. The laughter that Jay could hear in the hall quiets as soon as he closes the door, and heavy footsteps thud towards the living room’s open doorway. Sunghoon.

“It’s Mr YN YL—” he stops short. “Oh.” It’s not until Sunghoon looks over his shoulder and shakes his head that Jay even notices the stupid shutter shades he’s wearing. And when Jay joins his friends in the living room, he smiles despite himself seeing the way they’d decorated the space. Streamers dangle from the ceiling, hand-drawn A4 posters with both of your names written in lopsided hearts are stuck to the wall, and Jay ignores the thought of losing the security deposit to appreciate his friends; they’re good to him.

On the way to his usual seat, an armchair in the corner of the room, Jay stops to wrestle a bottle of Desperados from the open six back sitting atop the coffee table and kicks a balloon that was in his path before sinking into his chair.

Knowing there’s no use giving them a play-by-play, Jay recounts the last few hours as briefly as he can. He makes sure to leave out small details; like how he felt weak at the knees when you hugged him and told him you loved him after he won you a Hello Kitty plushie from the claw machine that you swore was rigged. Or how you’d worn his jacket out and his heart started racing when he noticed that your perfume had started to mix with his cologne. Unexpectedly, the guys seem hooked on the story right until its end. “So it’s not like it went badly or anything, I just.. didn’t tell her.”

Somehow, all three of them speak at the same time: “What do you mean you didn’t tell her?”

Jay stares at a spot on the floor, noticing a hole in the toe of Jake’s sock. He’ll make fun of that later. “I just couldn’t get the words out,” he mumbles, shoulders drooping as he slumps further and further into his seat before taking the first sip of his bitter drink a—“Fuck, why does anybody drink these?”

“Cheap,” Sunghoon mumbles, scowling after sipping from his own.

Clearly.

“Unless I’m missing something, this doesn’t seem like the end of the world. Just tell her tomorrow, tell her now, text her,” Heeseung sighs, letting his eyes fall shut.

The other two boys seem to agree, echoing the sentiment and adding their own ad libs to it. Jay watches as Sunghoon leans over to get another drink from the table, admiring his commitment to beer drinking even though he doesn’t like it. He waits for silence before speaking again: “I already know she doesn’t like me that way. And it’s only been two weeks so it doesn’t make sense to confess again so soon when I know the answer.”

“Again?” Sunghoon asks, raising a brow.

Ahhh, Jay knew there was something he’d forgotten to do. Though he's struggling to figure out how he’d withheld this information, considering it was the main thing on his mind at all hours. “Yeah, after milk and cookies I went to hers and told her I like her,” he says, attempting to feign nonchalance, shoulders rising and falling in a stiff shrug.

“And you kept that to yourself because..”

Jay scrunches up his nose, genuinely unsure. “I didn’t go there to confess, I just wanted to see her and give her the cookie I got for her,” he admits. “But then she came outside, and she had my jacket on, and she just looked so pretty. The only thing on my mind was oh, my God, I can’t go any longer without telling you I’m in love with you.” Jay pauses, taking a long sip of beer before telling them what happened outside your building.

As if he wasn’t feeling bad enough already, Heeseung bursts out laughing. Hard. It’s not long before Jake and Sunghoon join in and Jay wants to vanish into thin air. Feeling slightly left out, he also wants to ask what’s so funny, but the fear of being slated holds him back.

It’s the eldest who calms down first, sitting up straight in his seat. “So you go to YN’s door, tell her you like her, almost kiss her, then explicitly tell her not to say she likes you back, run away from her, again, and you’re wondering why she didn’t say she likes you back?”

With the story being laid out so simply, Jay starts to see the flaws in his logic. Though too stubborn to admit that he’s wrong in front of Jake, he nods his head. “Exactly.”

He presses his lips into a straight line when the boys call him chronically stupid.

“You need to call her, talk to her, figure your shit out before it’s too late,” Heeseung says with a firm tone.

Jay thinks about it, biting at his bottom lip before replying, asking in a small voice: “But what if she says she doesn’t like me?”

As much as not having confirmation is killing him, there’s a part of Jay that likes not knowing how you feel about him because it lets him play into his delusions. Lets him feed himself with thoughts of you being excited to see him because you like him and not because he makes great platonic company. The thought of you checking up on him through Jake because you’ve been thinking about him, but feel too shy to ask directly. And Jay knows when you properly reject him, he won’t be comforted by such thoughts anymore. They’ll only hurt him.

Though after hearing what may be the wisest thing he thinks Sunghoon has ever said, Jay starts to see the situation a little differently. It’s casual. Spoken through a yawn. “You already don’t have a girlfriend. Nothing to lose, right?”

The walk to your apartment building is longer than he remembers, but the cool air feels good on his neck as he tries to figure out what exactly he should say. Jay only starts to consider that this may not be the best idea when he stands face to face with your apartment building and feels a little too nervous to buzz your flat. What is he doing?

A grating screech comes from the heavy door when it opens, and Chaewon’s boyfriend steps outside with squinted eyes. “Jay?” he asks as the door thuds shut behind him. “YN didn’t say you were coming over.”

An awkward chuckle slips from Jay’s lips and (for the first time in his life) he does jazz hands. “Surprise?”

Jay feels better when Jeno’s lips spread into a grin. “Ohhhh,” he says, nodding and extending an almost empty deck of cigarettes in his direction.

“I’m good,” Jay declines, shaking his head.

Though if things go poorly up there he might have to take Jeno up on his offer.

Holding his cigarette between his lips, Jeno uses a fob to open the door for him, and Jay can’t help but feel comforted by the way Jeno pats him on the back and says: “I’m rooting for you.”

Standing at the door to your apartment only unleashes a new sense of nervousness. His hand rests on it, balled into a fist, waiting to be pulled back. But something stops him. Jay lets his hand slip down the door and takes a step away from it. He’d been standing too close. Now, he stands shifting his weight from foot to foot, and the toes of his shoes are just touching the doormat.

Reminding himself that knocking isn’t the hard part, Jay takes a deep breath and knocks three times.

A few minutes pass and it’s now that he remembers he doesn’t even know for sure that you’re home, or awake. He counts ten seconds before knocking again and the second his fist touches the door, he hears the sound of a lock clicking and the door creaks open.

Like something from a dream, you stand in the doorway, looking so beautiful with his hoodie on that Jay has to put in effort to keep his jaw from falling to the ground.

“Jay?” you say quietly, brows furrowed. “Is everything alright?”

“Do you like me?” Jay blurts out, pressing his eyes shut immediately as all plans of a proper conversation go to the wind. From his spot on your doormat, he can hear the sound of the TV quieting and a terrible silence settles over the two of you; lasting eight whole seconds before you speak.

“Do you wanna come in?”

Jay steps into the apartment, taking off his shoes at the door while mumbling a greeting to Yunjin and Chaewon who (definitely heard him) lay on the couch with wide grins on their faces, and follows you to your room where you close the door behind him.

“Sorry, I had, like, a speech ready and then I saw you and I just..” he trails off, standing awkwardly near the door and looking at everything in the room except for you; he struggles to tear his eyes away from a polaroid picture of the two of you with huge grins. It’s only when you talk that he manages to look over at you instead.

“You can sit down,” you say, patting a spot on the bed next to you. Without saying anything, Jay crosses the room to sit beside you — if sitting at arm’s length can be considered as beside you. “Tell me about the speech,” you say, and Jay shakes his head while trying to convince himself that your chuckle isn’t patronising.

“Do you like me?” he asks again, not wanting to waste any more time.

“I like you.”

Your words, simple and quiet, leave Jay winded.

“You look surprised,” you say, tilting your head. “You really didn’t know?”

Immediately, he relaxes his face. Clears his throat. Jay’s not entirely sure what he did and didn’t know, but he doesn’t think it matters. Nothing could possibly matter more than you do right now. “Doesn’t matter,” he says, letting out a sigh of relief. “I like you too.” The words sound regular when he says them, though he does like the lightness in his chest knowing for sure that the feeling is mutual. “Can you say it again?”

“Jay,” you start, resting your hand on his knee. Jay wonders if this is supposed to comfort him and clasps his hands over his lap as discreetly as he can manage. “I like you,” you tell him again.

Under the weight of your words, Jay feels his heart cinch a little in his chest. Why does everything sound so perfect coming from you? He can’t help but lean in, finally kissing you after what feels like an eternity. Jay didn’t think anything would feel better than your first kiss, but having your lips move softly against his, and knowing that you like him back, might just be the best thing ever. How did he go so long without this? Dazed and lovestruck, he lets his forehead rest against yours to calm down, to catch his breath. “Again?” he whispers, hopeful, one step away from begging.

You let out a chuckle, soft, breathy, fanning his lips. “I like you,” you say after a while, quietly, a whisper, just for him before kissing him again.

Jay’s not sure when it happened, he’s not even sure he notices that you’re sitting in his lap until you grind down on him; the feeling overwhelming despite all of the layers between you. A whine slips from your mouth into his when he rolls his hips up towards yours, and he can’t help but hate himself a bit for not just confessing sooner.

You pull away from him, a smile on your face as he chases your kiss. “Please touch me,” you whisper, hiding your face in his neck when he chuckles at your request, calling you cute under his breath.

He feels oddly thankful that you’re not grinding on him any longer because he was about two more movements away from cumming in his pants. His hand slips under your shorts, finding your clit and pressing on it through your underwear, liking the way your breath fans his skin when you sigh. The wet patch on the fabric only starts to spread when he starts rubbing you. “You like that?”

“Yeah,” you tell him on an exhale, letting your hips roll against his hand, whimpering at the friction.

Your mouth quickly finds his again, and you let your hand clutch at his shirt, balling it up in your first before tugging at it, parting to take it off of him. With wide eyes, you gape at his torso, the word “Shit,” falling from your mouth while you let a hand rest on his stomach.

When he tries pushing your panties to the side, the soaked material sticks to your slit slightly, and Jay groans despite himself. You’re absolutely drenched in slick, sopping wet to the core as you let out a broken whine from the feeling of his finger slipping into you. Curling his finger towards your belly button, his eyes fall shut, cock throbbing against his thigh when he thinks about how you’d feel around his shaft, how you’d look under him.

“You’re so good,” you whisper, awestruck and trembling in his lap.

The way you watch him makes him feel a little under pressure when he opens his eyes, but, determined to make you feel good, Jay attaches his thumb to your clit and everything is so slick that his finger slips around a bit before he can help it. You squirm in his lap, your head falling forward into the crook of his neck, forcing Jay to hiss when you bite on the skin of his shoulder. Your whimpers turn into cries and you mumble that you’re close, your walls tensing around him a moment later as if to prove your point.

Jay pulls his fingers out, holding back a moan at the way they glisten in the light, coated in you— “Nooo,” you whine, sounding audibly distraught.

Though he’s too busy tasting your cunt on his fingers to grace you with a response. In the quiet of the room, you sit up properly to look at him, watching with parted lips as Jay sucks on his fingers, humming at the way you taste. You barely give him a chance to put his hand back down before pressing your lips to his, moaning into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue.

Getting a tight grip on your waist, he moves around a bit to lay you down on the bed. Resting on his forearm, Jay leans over you, kissing you again. He lets his hand trail down your body, liking the way you spread your legs when he dips his fingers into your waistband. You nod eagerly when he asks if he can take them off, and his cock throbs when you tell him to take your panties off too.

With no unnecessary fabric in his way, his finger drags up and down the length of your pussy. Already close, it doesn’t take long for you to start whimpering and squirming underneath him, your walls stuttering once again as you cum, hot and hard on his hand.

Ever the gentleman, Jay stands up to place himself between your legs, groaning at the sight of you, pulsing and wet. “Such a pretty pussy,” he says. Deciding not to waste another second, he uses his thumbs to spread your lips a little before burying his face in your cunt.

It doesn’t take much for you to writhe under his tongue, and as soon as he kisses your clit it’s a wrap. He feels his cock leaking a little when your clit starts to throb between his lips, and he can’t help but groan when you tug at his hair.

You stutter through the words: “Too much,” and Jay tears his mouth away from you, letting his forehead rest on your inner thigh while he catches his breath, savouring your taste on his tongue. It doesn’t last long though; your scent drives him crazy. When Jay leans back over your face, he presses kisses to your cheek, mumbling to you about how pretty you are, and how good you taste, all while playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie.

He likes the way it looks on you, way better than it does on him. Likes it so much, he almost objects when you sit up to pull it over your head. Jay’s glad he doesn’t. He gulps at the sight of your breasts, surprised to see that you weren’t wearing anything under his hoodie, his dick somehow growing harder just from looking at you.

Jay feels an intense desperation to suck on them, but your hands reach back up to his face, pulling him towards you to kiss him again. He settles (ecstatically) for holding one in his hand, pinching your nipple with his fingers. He’s relaxed, he’s happy; not torn up about it because he has all the time in the world to feel your tits in his mouth.

He thinks.

Jay pulls away from you. “Wait,” he says, feeling butterflies when you smile up at him. “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your giggle sounds like music and he feels warm all over when you say, “Of course,” the words somewhat muffled by his lips on yours again, he could make out with you all day. But he stops for a moment, looking down at you, into your eyes and revelling in this moment. Revelling in you, his girlfriend, and the way you look at him. Like he put the stars in the sky or moved mountains; like you want him just as much as he’s wanted you all this time. And he wonders what he’s done to deserve it.

Overwhelmed by emotion, Jay kisses you, lets his tongue run along the seam of your lips as he considers just kissing you for the rest of the night. It almost seems like he’s trying to, and you speak once more against his mouth.

“Are you gonna fuck me?” you ask, moving your head to the side. “It’s okay if you’re not, but I’d like to know.”

Jay smirks at you — pretty cocky for a guy whose dick is throbbing against his thigh just from hearing you talk. “You want that?”

“Mhm,” you hum, nodding. “Need it.” Your gaze burns into his as he tries to process your words. You look distractingly beautiful with a thin sheen of sweat on your forehead, lidded eyes, and kiss-plumped lips that you press up against his once more. “There’s condoms in the second drawer.”

Leaning up off of you, Jay reaches into his back pocket to show off the two condoms he’d brought with him.

“Classy,” you tease, though there’s an excitement in your eyes that drives him mad.

“Responsible,” he corrects, standing up to pull his pants and underwear down. Slapping against his stomach, his cock throbs when he hears you gasp. Jay lifts his head in your direction, trying not to cum on the spot from the sight of you leaning up on your elbows, staring at his dick with an open mouth.

Taking a deep breath, Jay reminds himself that he has all the time in the world to find out what your pretty lips will feel like around him, choosing to busy himself with putting the condom on instead. “How do you want it?”

If the way you stop and stammer through the word “However” is anything to go by, the question seems to catch you off guard. Making his way back over to you, Jay racks his brain trying to figure out how he wants this to go, but seeing you on your back with your legs spread for him makes it clear. He hovers over you, lips drawn to yours like a magnet, using his hand to run the tip of his cock up and down your pussy, all while you whine against his mouth every time he pushes past your clit.

“Don’t want to wait any longer.”

Your words make his stomach turn. He pulls away, his brows knitted together. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Months, Jay,” you say, voice barely above a whisper, eyes screwed shut in a tortured expression. “Please.”

Satisfied with your answer, Jay guides his cock to your slit. Pushes just a little. “I won’t make you wait like that again,” he tells you, and he means it, pushing in as much as he can before you cry out.

Worried, Jay stops, leaning close to press a kiss to your cheek. “You okay?”

“I just need a sec,” you tell him breathlessly.

Jay nods. As good as he feels, quitting while he’s ahead seems like the better option at the minute — he needs a sec too, but with the way your walls clench around him, it doesn’t really feel like much has changed. He finds himself having to hold his hips back after a while, as you get used to the feeling of him inside, your pretty little cunt starts trying to suck him in and his breath hitches in his throat when you look him in the eye.

With a hand on the back of his neck, you pull his face back down to yours. “I’m good,” you mumble into his ear.

“Yeah?” he asks, grinning when you nod in response.

You stretch around him so easily that Jay whines as you take him in, deeper and deeper, inch by inch until he bottoms out. “Shit,” he mutters. How did he go so long without this? The sting of your nails digging into his bicep makes him hiss and he all but passes out when you moan. Falling from your mouth on a loop with every move he makes, his name is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard; you cut yourself off with a gasp, breath hitching in your throat.

“There?” Jay asks, even though he knows he’s hitting your spot.

You look up at him through fluttering eyelids, becoming more and more dazed each time his hips smack yours. “Mhm, I—close,” you mumble.

Jay takes this as a sign to hike your leg up around his waist, making sure to hit it each time he pumps into you. It seems like it’s working. “Cum for me, baby,” he whispers, using his free hand to push some of your hair out of your face.

Your whines turn into broken sobs and you hide your face in the pillow next to you, muffling your screams. Although he thinks your consideration for your flatmates is coming a bit late, he leaves you be, finding the sight sexier than he cares to admit.

Sexier still is the way your body tenses before squirming again, your walls pulsing uncontrollably around him while you cum. Jay’s stomach starts to tighten as he fucks you, spurred on by the look on your face as you orgasm, and the sound of his cock filling you up. With a few more thrusts and a jagged moan, he spills his load into the condom, just about collapsing on top of you.

Considering how fucked out and sleepy you’d been while Jay cleaned you up, he isn’t surprised to find you fast asleep when he gets back from cleaning himself. He does his best to join you in bed as softly as possible but it’s no use because you wake with a large yawn, making his heartache from a weird mixture of guilt and how cute you look.

He lays on his back, grinning to himself when you rest your head on his chest, making yourself comfy with an arm and leg slung over him. You talk drowsily about watching The Devil Wears Prada in full after his game tomorrow and nod eagerly when he asks if you want to wear one of his jerseys to come and watch him play. Jay keeps his eyes shut until he hears you snoring faintly, and looks forward to teasing you about it in the morning.

When he stares straight ahead at your ceiling, a fuzzy feeling rises in his chest. “I put my star on the ceiling too,” he whispers, knowing you can’t hear him, but feeling happy nonetheless.

Huddled up under Jay’s jacket, you sit on the half wall outside the football house with Chaewon, watching as Jeno blows smoke from his super king over his shoulder. Though given the way that the wind blows it back in your faces, the two of you may as well have taken him up on his offer to share.

Letting Chaewon rest her head on your shoulder, you take a sip of your drink and feel thankful to the version of you from five minutes ago who let Jay fill your cup with lemonade instead of vodka. The two of you laugh along with Jeno until you see Yunjin rushing out of the double doors and into the garden.

“Is there anything wrong with my outfit?” she asks, giving the three of you a twirl so you can check and mumbling a “thank you” to Jeno who reaches his arm out to stop her from falling over in the process.

Yunjin’s outfit looks fine. At first. Until you notice the massive hole in the left side of her skirt; the sight of which leaves you and Chaewon wiping tears of laughter. Through cackles and a slight stomach ache, you manage to ask what happened.

“I got caught on something, like, an hour ago, and I wasn’t hurt or anything so I forgot about it, and then I went out front and felt the craziest breeze on my thigh and I looked down and.. half of my skirt is just.. missing,” she explains, pausing only to take a draw from Jeno’s cigarette. “Does it look intentional at least?”

You almost choke on your drink when Chaewon suggests using her acrylics to make an identical hole on the side, telling her to market the holes as “cutouts” and try selling it on Depop.

“Vintage, Y2K, I.AM.GIA, Destiny’s Child, Britney Spears,” she says, although she’s had so much to drink that it all comes out as one word. “Don’t laugh at me, write it down! Babe, quick, take pictures!”

Yunjin poses dramatically while Jeno takes product photos on her phone, and in the space between them, through the double doors, you see your boyfriend standing next to the dining table, his friends laughing around him while he stares over in your direction with a sweet smile on his face.

And even though you can’t say for sure, you’re just glad that here, tonight, you have a pretty good idea of why Park Jongseong’s smiling at you.

permanent taglist: @asahicore

#jay smut #enhypen smut #enha smut #enhypen scenarios #jay scenarios #jay x reader #jay park smut #jay park #jay park x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #jay oneshots #jay imagines #enhypen hard hours #fic.jay

1K notes · View notes