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kayteewritessteve · 5 years

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If Only You Knew - 11/19

Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 6,060 ish. She’s a big one.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

July 2018 - Present.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nat seethed as she paced an actual line into the soft, tan coloured sand. Her mood matching the bright red two piece she currently had on, “how dare she!”

“I’m going to knock her out,” Hilde said, much too calmly for your liking. She was currently laying on her back, on a giant blanket on the ground, wearing massive dark shades, and a white bikini that accented her skin tone almost too well. Girl was a babe for sure, but right now she looked far too peaceful to be threatening anyone. And yet she was, and that made you inwardly cringe, just a little.

“I think she needs actually mental help,” Wanda said without looking up from the novel open in her hands, as she sat in a fold up chair. “And I’d know. I am a therapist, after all.”

“Ladies,” you sighed, “she isn’t worth it. And she never actually said Steve’s name. I was the idiot who jumped to conclusions,” you said as you shook your head. You had clearly blown that whole interaction way out of proportion. Like always. Fuck.

“That’s no excuse,” Nat abruptly stopped her pacing, to point at you. “She did it on purpose to hurt you. Just like in fucking high school,” her fists balled up at her sides then she huffed and started to pace again.

“Seriously. The next time I see her, it’s game on,” Hilde said, again, far too calmly for your liking.

“I say we just have her committed for a check,” Wanda shrugged nonchalantly.

“Okay, no one is beating anyone up. We aren’t in high school anymore. And no psych evals,” you stated then stomped over to Nat and placed yourself in front of her, on part of the line she was quickly forming. And once she came to a grinding halt you grabbed both her shoulders to force her to look you in the eyes. “Nat, you are literally marrying a cop in 3 days. And gaining another cop as basically a damn brother in law. You can’t go around attacking people, you’ll end up in jail, and Bucky will be pissed at me for that!”

Then you released her shoulders and turned to point at Hilde, “and the same goes for you, your best friends are the same two cops, and you’re a trained MMA fighter for crying out loud. If you attack her you’ll be charged with ‘assault with a deadly weapon’. Because Hilde, you are the deadly weapon,” you stressed the last part.

Then you looked over at Wanda, who had finally looked up from her book, “I don’t actually know anything around the rules for being a therapist, but I am willing to bet that committing someone because they enjoy bullying your friend is against at least one of them. If not all of them,” you sighed and shook your head. “So the three of you just need to drop this. I fell for her bullshit, again, but that’s on me. I’ll own that. But I can’t have any of you taking the fall for it. You got that?” You shook your head again, this time crossing your arms as well, “I won’t allow that,” you said firmly.

“Fine,” Nat and Wanda mumbled, as the latter focused back on her book.

“Yeah. Got it,” Hilde nodded and waved you off.

“Good,” you smiled and dropped your arms, “now let’s enjoy this beautiful day at the lake, and just forget about Madeleine and her bullshit, okay?” You looked between the three. “We all need a nice relaxing day before the craziness of this wedding picks up again.”

“Valid point,” Nat said as she wandered over to the blanket and laid down beside Hilde. “Get your butt over here punk,” she commanded.

“Punk, really?” You laughed. “You spend way to much time with Bucky,” you shook your head then went and joined them on the blanket.

“No such thing as too much time together when you’re marrying the guy,” Nat laughed.

“Oh, no, there is totally a thing as too much time together,” Wanda laughed, “but oddly enough, I think you two are the exception to the norm.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Hilde said with a chuckle and you laughed as well. Then the four of you lounged in the sun, working on your tans and waiting on the boys to show up.

It was about 20 minutes later when a flirty voice came from somewhere near you all. “Ladies,” they cooed and you recognized the voice instantly. Sam. You peeked through your eyelids and turned your head towards the voice, seeing the four guys making their way towards you. “You’re all looking stunning, as always,” he said as they reached the three of you.

“Calm down, Casanova,” Nat said with a smirk as she sat up, and Wanda giggled at the name.

While Hilde just chuckled from her spot, “you’re such a suck up.”

“Hey!” he laughed, “I am not a suck up! I just say it like it is,” he winked, causing you to snort and shake your head, deciding to stay out of this one. Bucky plopped down on the blanket near his fiancee, while the other three popped open their folded up chairs and got all set up.

“You better not be hitting on my soon to be wife, Sammy,” Bucky said flatly then kissed Nat on the cheek.

“Why? Worried she’ll dump your ass and get with a real man?” He shot back.

Without missing a beat, Bucky relied, “Hey Sam, can I talk to you in the water for a second?” He paused as a half smirk appeared on his lips, “I just wanna show you something real quick.”

Clint leaned towards Sam to whisper—though it wasn’t really that quiet, as the whole group clearly heard him, “he means that he’s going to try to drowned you. Just so you know.”

“I know that,” Sam said quickly while he playfully swatted Clint away, “but I’d like to see him try.”

“Oh, I’d do more then try,” Bucky mumbled loudly.

Steve just laughed and shook his head at his friends, then everyone exchanged there hello’s and hi’s before they all started to settle in and chat amongst themselves.

You turned to look just as Steve reached behind himself so he could yank his extremely tight t-shirt off—Yes, in that super sexy way, where the guy grabs the back neck collar of their shirt and pulls it over their head. He was like a damn GQ model, and that frustrated the hell out of you.

You tried with everything in your power to not gawk at him, but the sight of him shirtless still made you extremely dazed and confused, even after all this time. You snuck a quick glance as the shirt covered his face, realizing that he was even more jacked than he was in high school. Which was fucking ridiculous. How he could possibly get any more toned was beyond you. It just wasn’t fair for one man to be this fucking attractive.

Just as he finished pulling his shirt off—the too small article of clothing surprisingly not getting stuck on him—you quickly shook your head then turned to stare off at the water. Hoping your heated cheeks wouldn’t give you away, or rather, that no one would notice them. But just to be safe you stood up, mumbling a ‘be right back’ than walked over to the edge of the water, sitting down to dip your feet in.

As you sat there, looking out at the lake, the calm water and beautiful bright green trees lining the waters edge made your mind start to wander. Remembering the first time you had ever been brought to this very spot. It was the second summer you’d spent in Buckhannon—if we’re counting the summer you’d moved to town as the first—it was also the first day of summer break, and the last day before Steve left for his annual, summer long, family vacation…

July 2010 - 8 years ago.

You stopped dead in your tracks once your eyes caught the view laid out in front of you. Your friends all continuing to walk to their spot, unfazed by the beauty that surrounded you all. Clearly they had been here so many times that they barely noticed anymore. But for you, this was a first.

Now you’d been to a few lakes before, back in Cleveland, or rather, one lake, one very giant lake; Lake Erie. Which was not only huge, but was also encircled by a few major cities and settled smack dab on the border between America and Canada.

So needless to say, the lake in front of you right now was entirely different from what you were used to. And there was just something about a small town watering hole that was both awe inspiring and breathtaking.

“You okay?” You heard Steve’s voice coming from beside you and it snapped you back to reality.

“Huh?” You looked over at him, “Yeah. Yes. Just admiring the view,” you smiled up at him then you looked back towards to lake, both of you standing in silence for a moment.

“You know,” he started, breaking the comfortable silence. “I’d completely forgotten just how beautiful this place is. Guess I just needed a new set of eyes to remind me,” he nodded, thoughtfully.

“I’m nothing if not super helpful,” you said with a quick nod. “You should know that by now, Stevie,” you smirked.

Which caused him to laugh and roll his eyes playfully as he said, “oh, don’t worry, I do.”

“Good,” you laughed then you both headed towards where your friends were setting up their stuff.

Once you had your little spot set up, you pulled off the dress you’d been wearing over your bathing suit, which was just simple, black, and fit you perfectly. You discarded the dress on top of your bag then laid down and chatted with your friends for a little while. It was a gorgeous day out, hot and humid, so you’d go dunk yourself in the beautiful water from time to time. Mostly alone but sometimes a friend or two would tag along for a dip in the water as well.

Now as you laid on your beach towel, working on your tan, your stomach decided it was a good time to speak up. Reminding you that it did, in fact, exist. The loud grumble made you and the others laugh, and you figured now was a good time for some french fries.

As you all had made your way in from the parking lot, you’d noticed a concession stand near the main beach. You’d also taken note of the giant menu on the side of the building—or rather, you’d noticed fries were very much on that menu. You stood up and slipped on your flip flops as you looked around at your lounging friends. “I’m gonna go get some fries from the concession, anyone want anything?”

Everyone responded with the one or two things they wanted or a head shake saying they were good. You made mental notes for the few items that had been requested.

But then your eyes landed on Bucky, noticing his were widened with excitement. “Food sounds like a fantastic plan,” he said as he stood up and walked over to his pile of things. “I can always eat,” he added as he pulled his wallet out and went to grab money to give you but you waved him off.

“It’s okay, Buck, I got it. Just tell me what you want.”

“You may want to give him a limit,” Steve laughed from his fold up chair.

“Yeah, don’t give him free reign or he’ll drain your bank account with that bottomless pit of his,” Sam shook his head and chuckled as he patted Bucky on the stomach. They’d always had a weird love/hate dynamic. They were downright rude to each other sometimes, but yet they both never got truly offended by any of it. And if anyone else messed with either of them, the other was always the first in line to defend them. You were all used to the banter now.

Bucky swatted Sam’s hand away, and playfully said, “get your grubby hands off me, bird boy.”

The nickname causing a few of you to laugh quietly or snort. Sam was in love with planes—or anything aerospace related, for that matter—and would always say, that if he could have any super power, it would be flight. No questions about it.

Most kids at this age have no clue what they want to be when they ‘grow up’. But Sam, oh he knew. He had wanted to be a pilot since he was a kid, and already had his private pilots license. And had flown a handfull of times on his own already. So as soon as high school was done, his plan was to go for his commercial license, then start applying at all the major airlines. He had it all worked out, and you were so happy for him, but also slightly jealous, as you had no clue what you wanted to be when you ‘grew up’. But knew you’d figure it out one day. Hopefully soon. But as for the nickname, Bucky had jokingly called Sam ‘bird boy’ once in passing, and it had just stuck.

A smile broke out on your face just as Bucky began to list off all the things he wanted. Which then caused your smile to drop, as you damn near fell over at just how long that list actually was. Luckily for you, Steve offered to help you carry everything back. And you ended up accepting Bucky’s offer to cover the cost, as Sam was right, he would have drained your whole back account. And then some. Guy was clearly a black hole, where food was concerned. You’d even go so far as to label him ‘The Human Garburator’.

But that’s neither here nor there, as now you and Steve were standing alone by the concession stand, waiting for the massive order, as you looked around at all the happy lake goers. Kids splashing in the water, teens sunbathing and laughing amongst themselves, adults trying to wrangle their little ones and bath them in sunscreen. The whole thing made you extremely aware that it was, in fact, summer. And that you’d have to say goodbye to your best friend for 2 whole months.

You’d been dreading this day for weeks, in these last few months he’d become such a huge part of your life. The biggest part if you were being honest, and the thought of not seeing him, talking to him or just having him hang out and watch a movie with you, was devastating, to say the least.

He was your rock, your therapist, your bodyguard, your best friend and the one person you truly felt you could just be you around. No walls. No effort. No faking—Well minus hiding your insanely huge crush, but that was a different matter entirely—You’d never had anyone like him in your life before, and you vowed months ago that you’d never let him go and you’d always have him. No matter what. He was that one constant that would always be there. And that thought is what would give you the strength to make it through these next two months without him.

You turned to look up at him, you’d both been standing there in silence, clearly he’d been lost in thought as well. The look on his face instantly confirmed your suspicions that he was, in fact, lost in his mind as he stared off blankly at the water, just like you’d been doing.

“I’m going to miss you,” you said softly.

That caught his attention and he turned his head to look down at you, “I’m going to miss you, too,” he nodded.

You could feel the tears stinging the back of your eyes from both your omissions. You hadn’t really allowed yourself to think too much about him leaving, as you knew you’d break down instantly. He must have noticed your internal struggle to hold back your tears as he turned his body towards you and his large arms encircled you, pulling you in close to his chest.

As your cheek met the bare skin of his pectoral muscle, your mind was instantly reminded that he was still very much shirtless, and you were now very much pressed into his skin. You felt the heat begin to raise, starting in your chest and working it’s way up. You chided yourself for having this reaction, but this was also the first time you’d ever hugged him shirtless and the softness of his skin, mixed with the firmness and heat caused the butterflies to take off in your stomach. No matter how hard you tried to not focus on all of that, your mind had other ideas.

Then he sweetly kissed the top of your head and it just made your mind run even more. He left his face pressed into your hair as he spoke quietly, “I’ve been dreading this day for weeks.”

You nodded as you weren’t sure if your voice would work or not. The lump in your throat and the stinging in your eyes both told you it probably wouldn’t. But when a soft sniffle sounded from your nose, Steve stiffened and pulled away from you just enough to look down at your face. You didn’t want him to see you like this, but he gently grabbed your cheek to force you to look up at him, locking your eyes with his beautiful blues.

“Hey, it’s okay, Y/N,” he said and then the eye contact was broken as his drifted over your features slowly while his thumb wiped away the stray tear you hadn’t been able to stop. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he added quietly, guilt clear in his voice.

You shook your head, and went to speak, you weren’t sure how your voice was going to sound, but you couldn’t allow him to feel bad for something he didn’t do. “You didn’t upset me at all. I’ve been dreading this day as well. I just don’t know what I’m going to do without you around all the time,” you replied just as an idea came to mind, and you decided things were just getting far too heavy for your liking and at this rate you’d be a sobbing mess in no time. You placed a pondering finger to your chin, tapping it lightly, “now that I think about it, this may actually be a wonderful break.”

He playfully glared at you then scoffed, “oh, I see how it is.” He crossed his arms and pouted, “and here I thought we were actually friends,” he turned his head to look away from you.

You forced your features to stay neutral and serious, “well, clearly you thought wrong. I only keep you around for your directional skills.”

His head snapped back to stare at you. And you did everything in your power to hold it together. The look on his face was making that exceptionally difficult though, and you burst out laughing.

The mock hurt look on his face made you put your hands up in surrender, “okay, okay. That’s a total lie. That’s not the only reason.” You stifled your laugh, attempting to be serious again, “you’re also a fucking giant, so you’re super helpful when it comes to reaching things that are too high up for me. But I think those may be the only two reasons,” you pondered that for a moment then shrugged, “yup. Can’t think of any others.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Oh, you’ll pay for that one, Y/L/N,” he said as he reached out and you attempted to get away but he was far too fast, he grabbed you then started to tickle you mercilessly. “Take it back,” he scolded as he continued. You squirmed and laughed as you tried desperately to get away but just as he was faster than you, he was also a lot stronger than you. “Had enough yet?”

You managed to get out a stern, “nope,” as you continued to try to get away. Everyone around you both was probably staring at you now, but you didn’t care one bit. You and Steve were always in your own little world and probably always had people giving you odd looks or watching as you both made fools of yourselves. But this was just how it was for the two of you.

“I’m not gonna stop until you take it back!” He threatened.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you squealed and wiggled around as the tickle attack continued. “Okay! Okay. I give. I give! I take it back!” You screamed between laughs, but before he could stop you went to pull away, one last time, with all your might.

However he clued in and pulled you right back towards him with force, causing your world to shift instantly. You screamed as you landed with a thud and it took you a second to realize you’d both fallen over, and you were now laying on top of him, on the ground.

Your eyes locked with his and you both just stayed frozen in place, no longer laughing but your heaving chests remained, as a reminder that you had been meer seconds ago. His arms were enclosed around you tightly as your hands laid firmly pressed to his chest. Neither speaking, both your hearts pounding and breathing heavily from the tickle war.

You felt his arms tighten even more around you, and something in his eyes started to pull you towards him, aggressively. You leaned down slowly, not breaking the eye contact once. Therefore not missing as his eyes widened more and more, with each inch closer that you got to him.

But just as you could feel his breath on your face, finding yourself maybe an inch away from him now, at most, you heard the concession stand worker call out your order number. You froze as the daze of the moment promptly lifted and you pulled away from Steve like he’d been a roaring fire.

“Oh god,” you whispered as you scrambled to climb off him and stand up. “I’m so sorry! I ah, I didn’t mean to,” you trailed off and shook your head as you took a shaky step back, trying to give him room so he could stand up. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

He just looked up at you for a moment then sighed deeply and stood up as well, dusting off his swim trunks once he was up. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “and no, you didn’t hurt me. I don’t think you could, even if you tried.” He attempted to laugh jokingly at that, but it fell short and ended up sounding way more awkward than anything. He shook his head and than his face went instantly serious as he moved towards you, “are you okay though?”

You took another step back, needing to distance yourself from him just a little. You’d almost kissed him in that moment and that would not have been good. At all. You had to get this stupid crush under control, and fucking stat! “Yep,” you said quickly, “I’m good. Let’s go get our food.” You abruptly turned around and headed for the concession to pick up your order. You heard him deeply sigh again from behind you, then he joined you at the counter. You both picked up all the food and started to head back towards your friends.

Neither one of you spoke the whole walk back, and for the first time ever, the silence between you was not comfortable, it was the opposite of that actually. You kicked yourself internally for allowing your stupid crush to cloud your judgement. It had clearly made him uncomfortable, his current silence making that pretty fucking obvious.

You couldn’t let your silly feelings in that moment ruin the last day you had with him. You had to say something. Anything. You had to make this better, “I’m sorry again, I ah, I don’t know what came over me just now.” You stopped walking and looked up at him, causing him to stop as well. “Can we just pretend that never happened?” You asked, hopeful that he’d accept your request and forget that it ever happened. Hopeful that it wouldn’t ruin your friendship. Or his final day.

His brows furrowed together for a moment then he sighed and corrected his face into its normal relaxed look, “yup. Whatever you want, Y/N,” he nodded and smiled, but you could tell it was forced. Though you didn’t push him about it, you just wanted to change the subject and leave this whole awkward moment in the past.

“So,” you started, trying to think of a topic to change the conversation to, as you both began to walk again. “You excited for your trip?”

“Yup,” he replied. And even though he’d agreed to just forget this whole thing, you could tell it was clearly still bothering him. Good job smart one, way to make your best friend fucking uncomfortable. Damnit!

“Ah, that’s good,” you nodded, “I bet Sokovia is lovely this time of year.”

“Yeah, it is,” he nodded as you both reached your friends. Both of you handed out the food and went back to your respective spots. Which luckily weren’t right next to each other, like usual. You sat on your towel, kicking your flip flops off then quietly munched on your fries, and stared off at the water. You had to fix this whole mess. You had to.

But the rest of the day dragged on, and it felt like Steve was actively avoiding you, which was exactly what you didn’t want happening. All because you almost kissed him, clearly he was not okay with that. Not even in the slightest.

It was now night time and you all had gone to the annual year end bonfire. Wanda had told you a few weeks back that it was a tradition at Shield High, all the students would get together for a giant bonfire on the beach. Everyone’s way of ending the school year and starting the summer break off right, as she put it. It was your first time ever going to one, and you knew this was going to be your last chance to fix things with Steve, before he left in the morning.

But then every time you’d try to talk to him, you’d get interrupted by some drunk student calling for him, or walking up and inserting themselves into your conversation. And it was getting fucking frustrating, to say the least. So near the end of the night, when you noticed him wandering off alone into a forested area, you followed him. Yes, this was a creepy thing to do, but you were desperate at this point. And this may be your last chance to talk to him, and there was no way in hell you’d let it slip away.

You figured he was going to find a place to pee so you waited at the tree line for him to be done. The sound of small branches cracking and crunching told you he was coming back towards you now. As he came into view you made yourself known, not wanting to startle him.

“Hey,” you waved awkwardly.

But even though you tried not to startle him, you clearly had. He tensed and jumped slightly then relaxed once he realized it was you, “ah, hey.”

“Can we talk?” You asked quietly.

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded then you took his hand and pulled him away from the fire to find a quiet place to chat. The feeling of his large warm hand in yours brought back the same butterflies it had at his birthday, when you’d taken his hand to lead him outside.

You shook your head slightly, trying to not allow yourself to think about just how amazing his hand always felt in yours. That was the last thing you needed to be thinking about right now. Your stupid crush being the exact reason you were now in this whole fucking situation. You reached a small deserted picnic area and released his hand as you sat at one of the picnic tables, Steve sitting down on the opposite side of it.

You were now just staring down at your hands on the table, not entirely sure what to say or how to even start this conversation. But luckily for you, Steve spoke up first, “so, what did you want to talk about?”

You looked up at him, “you leave tomorrow.”

He smirked and nodded his head, clearly finding the humour in you stating the obvious, “that I do.”

“For 2 months,” you stated the obvious, yet again. But you kind of just needed to build up to this conversation. Needed to state the facts. Maybe so you could come to terms with them a little more.

He sighed deeply, “yup.”

“Are you mad at me?” You blurted out—and so much for building up to it. Shit.

His eyes widened momentarily then his brows furrowed, “what? Why would I be mad at you?”

You sighed, “you’ve been avoiding me all night, Steve.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes, you have. So spill it, how do I fix this? You leave tomorrow and I refuse to let you leave with any hostility between us,” you gestured between you both.

“I haven’t,” he shook his head, “and there isn’t any hostility between us.” He paused before firmly adding, “at all.”

“Then why does it feel like there is?”

He shrugged, “I duno, I don’t feel it. But I do know that I’m going to miss you like crazy, and the closer we get to having to say our final goodbyes for the summer is really getting to me. So maybe you’re taking that as hostility?”

“Maybe,” you said more to yourself as you nodded. He did have a valid point, one that would make sense. “So, were good then?” You asked hopefully.

He just chuckled and said, “we were never not good.”

“Oh thank god,” you breathed out then laughed. “I think you’re right though. The closer we get to the end of the night, the more upset I get as well.” You paused to just stare at him for a moment, as a bunch of emotions started to run wild again, but you forced them down. “What am I going to do without you all summer?” You widened your eyes, feigning a realization than you leaned forward to whisper as your eyes darted around anxiously, “and who’s going to break into my room at night, like some creepy stalker?”

He threw his head back and burst out laughing for a few minutes. “You’re so weird,” he joked as he composed himself and focused back on you, wiping the joyful tears from his eyes as he did. You always took it as an accomplishment if you could cause him to laugh so hard that he’d tear up. It being one of your favourite of his tics. “And it’s not breaking in if you leave the window open for me,” he pointed out as he shook his head then turned a little more serious. “But I promise we will talk every day. The time differences may make it difficult, but I’ll always respond whenever I can.”

You nodded and looked back down at your hands, feeling the weight of this moment all over again. “Okay,” you sighed, “that makes me feel a little better.” And that was true, it did. But texting him wouldn’t be the same as having him around. And once again you felt the sting of tears in your eyes, blinking quickly to try to eradicate them.

So when you felt the picnic table wiggle and shift, you quickly looked up to see Steve stand and walk around to you, offering you his hand which you willingly took. He then pulled you up to your feet and into one of those amazing hugs of his. Which was exactly what you’d needed in this moment. And clearly he’d known that.

You both just stood there silently for a while, enjoying each other's embrace. Then you felt him sigh deeply before he finally spoke up, “we should probably get back,” he squeezed you a little tighter. “But please try to not let this upset you to much, okay?” He asked and you just nodded into his chest. “I’m sure these next two months will fly by for both of us. And before we know it, we’ll be back in class,” he joking groaned and it caused you both to laugh. And with that you both reluctantly released from the hug and made your way back to the fire.

The talk had helped you relax, and the rest of the night ended up being a fucking blast. You didn’t feel anymore hostility at all, and at the end of the night he dropped you off at home and you said your final goodbyes. You’d managed to get through them without shedding a single tear, at least not until you watched his jeep drive away down the road. That sight though killed you, and you burst into tears instantly.

You spent the next few days cooped up in your bed, moping and being miserable. Your friends contacted you multiple times but you’d just tell them you were sick, not wanting to leave your cocoon of comfort. However, after a few more days they weren’t buying your shit anymore. They all showed up and dragged your ass outta bed, forcing you to make the most of your summer. Which you did so reluctantly at first, but then you just sort of fell into a rhythm.

Each passing day bringing you one step closer to having him back. But he had lied to you that night, your summer didn’t fly by, like at all. It was actually the longest two months of your whole fucking life. Or at least you swore it was. And that was even with talking to him daily, via both text messages and phone calls. But it still didn’t feel like enough.

It was that 2 months without him that you finally realized it wasn’t just a silly stupid crush anymore. No, you were in love with him, 100 percent. And that was not a good realization to have about your best friend. At least not one who saw you as basically a little sister. Fuck, you were doomed.

July 2018 - Present.

“You’ve been awfully quiet.”

You turned your head to see a still, very much, shirtless Steve plop down at the water's edge beside you. Finding yourself, once again, trying to avoid looking at his ridiculously muscular physique and far too exposed torso. So you forced yourself to hold eye contact with him. Which was a lot more difficult than you’d have liked.

“Yeah, I was just enjoying the view,” you nodded then turned to look back at the water. Using that as your new distraction from the fucking GQ model to your right. “For a while there, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see this place again.”

A silence fell over you both and it was in this exact moment that you realized it was far too quiet, you turned your head around and noticed everyone was missing now. It was just Steve and you. But before you could even ask he piped up, “they all went to get food, Clint is bringing back fries for you.”

You laughed, “that’s really sweet of him.”

Another silence fell over you, this one lasting a few minutes, at most. “Are you happy to be back?”

You kept your eyes on the water but smiled and nodded, “honestly, I am.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” He asked and that got your attention, you turned and made eye contact again and he looked almost vulnerable in this moment, which made your heart start to race.

You nodded, “yeah, of course.”

He sighed then looked out at the water himself, “this place just hasn’t been the same since you left.” Then his hand went up to rub the back of his neck, “I’m ah, I’m really glad you’re back,” he said so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him.

“I am too,” you whispered, a giant smile gracing your lips as you took his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to come home.”

He nodded but didn’t speak, and at that you leaned your head on his shoulder as you both just enjoyed the quiet, peaceful moment together, staring out at the water.

You’d missed him more than you’d ever thought, and in this exact moment it hit you like a dang freight train. How you’d made it through 7 years without this man by your side was beyond you. And you vowed, for real this time, to always fight like hell to make sure he stayed right there. By your side. You’d never again allow your life to go on without him.

You finally had your best friend back, and that was not going to change ever again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@hopefulmoonobject @harlequinash @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @imdiegohargreeves @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @badassbeckettswan @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99

#au fanfiction #fanfiction #long post #long read #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #modern!steve rogers x reader #modern!steve #modern!steve rogers #modern au #alternate universe #if only you knew #chapter 11 #no super powers here #steve rogers au

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upalldown · 4 years

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Run The Jewels - RTJ4

Fourth studio album from the two hip hop heavyweights Killer Mike and El-P featuring guest appearances from 2 Chainz, Zack de la Rocha, DJ Premier, Josh Homme, Greg Nice, Mavis Staples, and Pharrell Williams

11/13

At this time, political rap heroes Run The Jewels and Rage Against the Machine were supposed to be on a break in the middle of their co-headlining international tour, but it was postponed due to COVID-19. Now, in the midst of economic turmoil, a pandemic and altogether uncertainty, the tragic death of Minneapolis’ George Floyd has sparked nationwide protests against police violence.

“Fuck it, why wait.” was the cue written in neon pink letters that signaled RTJ4’s arrival two days early, for free, in standard Run The Jewels fashion. Both the album’s accessibility and message are intended to highlight the ongoing revolution, which is clearly a cause the duo readily supports.

The second single, “ooh la la,” featuring East Coast icons Greg Nice and DJ Premier, which was released back in March, is a mellow, feel-good summer track that served as an ode to old-school New York hip-hop. But in context of the whole album, the song now sounds like the calm before the storm as police sirens blare in the distance while two friends reflect on their fears: El-P reminisces “I used to be munchkin, I wasn’t ‘posed to be nothin’/… I’m afraid of nothin’ but nothingness, ain’t it something?” and Killer Mike breaks the fourth wall in Run The Jewels’ cinematic universe, addressing the impending chaos: “I used to love Bruce, but livin’ my vida loca / Helped me understand I’m probably more of a Joker / When we usher in chaos, just know that we did it smiling / Cannibals on this island, inmates run the asylum.”

El-P’s distinctive production style is evocative of a technological apocalypse, with broken computer parts strewn on the ground and a slight burnt smell lingering in your nose. However, with Run The Jewels, that style takes on a new shape as a rough-and-tumble, hypermasculine, face-punching marathon with distorted bass and clicky percussion. This formula has served the duo well since their inception in 2013: El-P and Killer Mike rapping about the myriad ways in which they can beat you up over beats best suited for a high-speed car chase with guns ablaze. There is no shortage of that vivacity on the equally fun RTJ4, but the dynamic between the two has since settled into something far more mature.

This tonal shift was not accidental. While always politically active both personally and musically, it was not until Run The Jewels 3, released a month after the 2016 presidential election, when their music took a decidedly angrier turn. It was not recorded with the outcome of a Trump presidency in mind, but the album’s references to “masters” and its unadulterated rage was a clairvoyantly perfect reaction for many people.

RTJ4 is no different, looking back on an entire presidential term ahead of the 2020 elections with even more fury and an inadvertent timeliness for current events. While technically the messaging is “unintentional” and “inadvertent” in its relation to our very specific current events, it certainly speaks to the ongoing Black Lives Matter movement. “And everyday on the evening news they feed you fear for free / And you so numb you watch the cops choke out a man like me,” Killer Mike reflects on “walking in the snow.” “Until my voice goes from a shriek to whisper ‘I can’t breathe’/ And you sit there in house on couch and watch it on TV / The most you give’s a Twitter rant and call it a tragedy.” Although referring to Eric Garner’s widely publicized death in 2014 at the hands of a police officer, much of this lyric was echoed in the recent death of George Floyd, who uttered those exact same words as Garner. History repeats itself, and Run The Jewels are simply the messengers.

This is especially true on another album highlight, “JU$T,” which features Pharrell, Zack de la Rocha, minimalist hi-hat beats that dissolve into whispers and manipulated vocal loops that serve as a stage where everyone’s soapboxes get equal time and attention. Killer Mike hopscotches over the beat like the sonic version of a pimp walk as he namedrops pedophiles and marijuana moguls. El-P laces his stuttery flow with literary and philosophical references ranging from Confucius to Kurt Vonnegut. Then, Zack de la Rocha kicks through the door with a dominating presence that makes the postponed RTJ/RATM tour that much more heartbreaking, with his impeccable word choice and enunciation pounding through the speakers: “A clean look, a poet pugilist / A shooter’s view, Zapruder flick / Too rude for ya rudiments / Who convinced you?” Combined with an effortless Pharrell hook, this track feels like a barbershop quartet of street preachers.

El-P’s various abstract thoughts bounce perfectly off of Killer Mike’s more fleshed-out observations, much like the “show your work” motto drilled into elementary school curriculums. Although, in this case, Run The Jewels are bashing you over the head with it. They expertly weave in and out of the recognizable and the undiscovered, which El-P alluded to in a GQ interview where he said, “First of all. . . two dudes who were born in 1975 are not supposed to be allowed to be at the cutting edge of music. We’re not supposed to be allowed to be at the table. It’s supposed to be that all of our influences and all of the things that we came up with and love are supposed to have been replaced by a new group of influences that people are rightfully into cause they’re younger and they didn’t experience the moments that we did.”

RTJ4 serves as a loving ode to the old school more so than on any of their other albums, with the aforementioned Greg Nice and DJ Premier feature, Killer Mike’s references to 2 Live Crew on “never look back” (“Uncle Luke don’t stop, get it get it Magic City”) and a brilliantly manipulated Gang of Four sample on “the ground below.”

This hodgepodge of styles and references emphasize what their music is all about. El-P’s New York roots meshed with Killer Mike’s Dirty South origins seem strange at first, but it’s their shared love of hip-hop’s history and politics that make the duo unlike anyone else. They treat hip-hop as a universal and political language that transcends identity, relying on the mechanics of the genre as a vehicle to tell meaningful stories, even if it means driving that vehicle directly into the building. RTJ4 is the perfect soundtrack to the revolution, especially the one not televised.

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https://www.pastemagazine.com/music/run-the-jewels/rtj4-review/

#run the jewels #rtj4

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herselfportrait · 5 years

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INTERVIEW: ALEXANDER MILAS

(Written for Soundsphere Magazine)

In the boxing ring of journalism, Alexander Milas has more than a fair few champion title belts under his name - a little less heavyweight, a little more heavy metal. Embarking as a contributor to Kerrang!, the British oracle on all things hard rock, Milas interviewed a spectrum of the genre’s fabled heroes from Metallica and Slipknot to ‘The Prince of Darkness’ himself, Ozzy Osbourne. With his work across a smattering of publications, his career reached its apex when he became Metal Hammer’s Editor-in-Chief. Picking off the mammoth titles of GQ and Timeout, Milas has been crowned PPA Editor of Year during his decade at the iconic heavy metal music magazine. You might wonder where you could possibly go next, but Alexander Milas shows no signs of slowing down.

“So many people hate the way they’re going to spend their daytime,” Milas speaks, considering his departure from Metal Hammer. “Because I experienced that misery really early on, that has always motivated me to chase things that I’m passionate about. That hasn’t always helped my bank account, but it has always felt like I’ve never wasted my time. I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to do after writing for Metal Hammer. It led to me travelling around the world and meeting so many cool musicians and bands. I didn’t just want to take a desk job and kind of retire – I’m only 40 (which I know sounds like I’m older than time itself to most people), but I still feel like I have a lot ahead of me. I decided I was going to start something of my own and follow my instincts and resulted in Twin V.”

Twin V is a creative solutions company that has become Milas’ full-time occupation since 2017. The award-winning network of photographers, directors, social-media strategists, community managers, audio producers, and journalists, chaired and founded by Milas himself, have produced programmes for Iron Maiden; feature-length documentaries for Amon Amarth; and have even collaborated with the European Space Agency. “A lot of people think Twin V is to do with engines,” Milas laughs, “but the name was inspired by the legend that English archers and their longbows were so effective against mounted, heavily-armoured knights that they’d often have their first two, bowstring-drawing fingers chopped off when they were captured. Holding their two fingers up in the two-fingered salute became a common taunt. It has been a real ride, two years in, and it has been a lot of fun.”

Within two years, Twin V’s clients have been prestigious to say the least. Their work with the European Space Agency gave rise to Spacerocks: a celebration of space exploration and the art, music, and culture it inspires. In 2018, Twin V managed to secure Queen guitarist and astrophysicist Brian May and ESA astronaut Tim Peake at Spacerocks’ panel show at the O2 in London. Speaking on Twin V’s rapid success, Milas is quick to say, “Your relationships are everything.” He continues, “If you ask yourself what a relationship is, it’s just trust. You’ve got to be relied on to do things, and I guess that’s where a lot of it came from. Some of the first people I worked with were people that I knew. Spacerocks, however, was very different. I felt like I had to get out of my own lane for a change, and I had a great opportunity to do that. James Isaacs was the extraordinary arts editor at Metal Hammer who is also a great creative; Todd O’Sullivan, the guy who produces The Golden Gun, it was made a lot easier because I’d had these great relationships with people I’d worked with for years. That’s the defining characteristic of everything successful that I have done: I have worked with great people. A lot of people make this happen, out front and behind the scenes. With Spacerocks, working with a European space agency, that��s a whole new set of relationships, which is of course very different from the music industry. You’d be surprised to know that a lot of people there really love music and art, and want to see it go forward.”

‘Successful’ isn’t quite the word Milas would use to describe himself. “Nothing I do feels successful at the time because I’m in the middle of it. I’m conscious that from the outside it looks like there’s a lot going on, but the truth is, like anybody, I’m still hungry and always looking for what’s next.” He reflects. “I think the worst thing you can ever do is coast on the inertia of past success. It’s done. It’s over. It’s all about what you’re doing right now and being in the moment. What I love about Twin V is that though it’s not always easy, it has given me a huge amount of freedom to literally create things. It’s a huge privilege. If I wake up in the morning and love what I’m doing, then I’m on the right path.”

There is a promise of more progress with Spacerocks for 2019; between that, and a number of hush-hush projects Milas wants to keep under wraps, he tells us that one project that is on the cusp of launching is World Metal Congress. The inspiration for his, he reveals, was an extension of his work at Metal Hammer. He flew to Mumbai, and other unlikely places across the world, and discovered incredible heavy metal music scenes. “It was just so energising to see so many people cooperating in that way, not only making amazing music, but really caring about metal.” He tells us. “Quite a lot of Metal Hammer’s coverage was about bands from further afield: Indonesia, Afghanistan, Syria – the list goes on. Once I left Metal Hammer, I didn’t want to just let that go. Working with an amazing team of people, we managed to organise a two-day event where we invite people from the industry – not just from the US or the UK – but the world. We’re talking musicians from as far away as Singapore, South Africa India, Lebanon. It’s really a global community. One thing that we hope to achieve is creating a forum for people to connect on a worldwide scale. There will be panels, bands playing, a couple of screenings, one of which is about the metal scene in Syria. Can you believe that exists?”

When we asked Alexander Milas to tell us what moment was the highlight of his career, it is quite an unlikely choice. “We got a bunch of metal-heads to write that metal was their religion on the UK census. That was brilliant – not because we beat the scientologists and the druids – but just because it pissed off a lot of people and stirred an incredible debate. I think I must have done 60 interviews around the world about that very thing. We’re having fun, but we were making a very serious point. There are a lot of people for whom heavy metal is more than a genre, it’s a lifestyle. People take it very seriously; it’s worth paying attention to. It felt like a middle finger up to all sorts of people, which I felt was in the spirt of metal.”

This shares a joint position of pride with creating Heavy Metal Truants, a charity he devised with Rob Smallwood, the manager of Iron Maiden. The now infamous charity cycle rides have generated more than £600,000 (not far at all from their goal of a very fitting £666,000) for children’s charities such as Nordoff Robbins, Teenage Cancer Trust, and Childline. “Gosh, that’s an ongoing joy,” Milas says.

The advice Alexander Milas has to offer applies not only to journalists, but to any creative. His pearls of wisdom are particularly valuable, after having worked in the industry for decades with people of all positions and walks of life – and, of course, having the honour of being top of the pile. “I feel unworthy to dispense advice really, because in many ways I’m still learning myself.” He confesses. “One thing that I have learned is that ‘it’ll do’ is not good enough – ever. You have to hold yourself to as a high a standard as possible at all times. It’s important to develop and cultivate your contacts. Don’t get over-ambitious; what you see as a photographer when looking at someone in the pit shooting a big band is someone holding a camera, but what you won’t see is how it took 25 years of experience to get there. Patience and humility to learn, enjoying the process, realising that you’re not going to get there today, but maybe tomorrow or the next day or the next day is a big part of it. I think, in a creative industry, you’re probably an idealist at some level because you’ve decided that you want to make the world better. Maybe you want to make it more visually appealing, maybe you want to share things that you are passionate about, so I think that this can lead to impatience. I am 42 years old, and I have never felt that I have reached a plateau that I am happy with. It’s not about reaching a plateau, it’s about asking yourself ‘Do I love what I am doing? Am I happy?’. If you’re waiting for some bright afternoon where everything falls into place, then you’re in the wrong industry. You’ve got to understand that there is always someone who’s going to be further along, and those are the people you can learn from. Let them be your guiding light. I’m very much on the same journey that anyone starting out is, except I’m probably just a little bit further ahead. The best advice I can give to any creative working in any field that is self-driven is to stay optimistic. It’s so easy to be beaten down by rejection, failure and competition. Every gets that way, including me, which is probably symptomatic of being a sensitive creative type. Tomorrow is always another day.”

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muensingen38-blog · 7 years

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MATS HUMMELS INTERVIEW FOR L’OFFICIEL HOMMES DEUTSCHLAND

MATS HUMMELS

World Champion, Werbestar, "Wuschelkopf" ... The 28-year-old football profi often grows beyond himself. He goes fashionably with time - even when it comes to watches.

When Mats Hummels enters the Fotostudio, he has won the multi-headed team within seconds. The typical tension before the shoot gives way to a relaxed mood. Although his 1.91 m size and the athletic figure does not facilitate the styling, he is happy with the look selection. Neither attitudes nor attitudes, but charm and character - a connection that creates a positive charisma with the winner of the world champion, one can hardly escape. Fashion Editor Lorena Maza puts it to the point: "a guy!"

LOH With your hair dyeing action after a lost bet you have made headlines: The Süddeutsche Zeitung titled " Neuester Blondinenwitz" and wrote of the "Heino der Bayern-Abwehr".

MATS HUMMELS Oh, it's all over again. I personally was however surprised by the giant echo, which triggered the blond hair. Meanwhile, they look normal again.

LOH We do not want to be hair-splitting, but the hairstyle is a topic, and the SZ calls you in the same course also "sex symbol".

MATS HUMMELS My hairstyle is not so important to me. In the morning, when I go to workout, the first ones to see my hair are, yes, just my fellow-games. And during training, I often pull a cap over it.

LOH As often as you speak in interviews about "Privy Councilors" ...

MATS HUMMELS No, I am more likely to be concerned with it than to deal with it myself. And I only put in the secrets of the council, because they are easily available.

LOH Is there a family disposition?

MATS HUMMELS I am very similar to my papa from hair growth. Luckily he still has enough hair today. What makes me very confident for the future.

LOH Your mother has cited you as a fan of Zinédine Zidane, on the occasion of the World Cup 2006. He has no problems with his hair ...

MATS HUMMELS ... because he has none. This can indeed keep a lot of problems from one (laughs).

LOH Her mother, Ulla Holthoff, was the footballer of TV station DSF (today Sport 1) , her father's youth coach at Bayern Munich. Is the key to your sovereign appearance in this professional stress field of your childhood?

MATS HUMMELS In the F-youth one does not get with it. Since I've just walked the ball like any other 6-, 7-year-old.

LOH Your special family constellation must, however, have occupied you. On the one hand loving parents - and then two professionals, who know the sport inside and outside perfect.

MATS HUMMELS It was not clear to me that this was something unusual. I had no comparison. For me, I always wanted to play football. So if I had the choice of kicking a tournament at the age of 12, instead of going on a skiing holiday, then I did it - and I only followed the family later. And it did not even have to be a ball, but only a little round, and I already kicked it. Therefore, it was also not conscious about the motto: I have to do this or that to become a professional. The fun of this sport brought me there.

LOH Was that even when his own father suddenly became his own coach in Bavaria's B-youth? Was it still fun?

MATS HUMMELS That was indeed difficult. Because he treated me harder than the rest of the team, so that no one could ever think that he would prefer his son. And at 14, you're a little rebellious. I was used to living at home, and I was also able to say clearly if I did not like something - that's what I did in my training. So we lived on the square a complete father-son relationship, which was very emotional. But in hindsight it helped me, because he always changed me for example with a yellow card because of annoying. As an educational measure. He did not do that with any other player. And I still have not gotten a yellow card because of me.

LOH But so wise one judges only with the look of a mature man, at that time it was certainly different.

MATS HUMMELS It was really a difficult constellation for both sides. I found this terrible. He even changed me after only one minute. That must be imagined. Because I had gotten yellow because of complaints. After a minute!

LOH In an interview in the SZ- Plattform "jetzt", you explained in 2007 that you wanted to create the Abi. If you look at your career, is the school drop at 18 your only loss?

MATS HUMMELS After I signed my first professional contract with FC Bayern, I wanted to go through it up to the Abi, but then had so bad marks that it would have been really hard to make it. So I then fully put on the football card. A difficult decision, but one that I had to meet then.

LOH There you sit your 12 1/2 years in the school, is shortly before ...

MATS HUMMELS This is what I am most concerned about. More than eight years at the Gymnasium, and then no Abitur. I could have given me at least three-quarters of a trio.

LOH eloquence seems you indeed to be congenital. Did you notice early that you can just articulate?

MATS HUMMELS I like to talk about topics for which I am interested. I could talk about football for a long time - theoretically - because I have the knowledge, the memory and the energy for it.

LOH Your mother calls you "Leseratte", even the intelligent comics - so Lucky Luke and Asterix - mentions them ...

MATS HUMMELS Oh, are these the intelligent comics? I did not know that. But I have also read LTBs ( Disney Funny Pocket Books ). Massively. Meanwhile, I prefer crime or biology. By Andre Agassi or Dirk Nowitzki ...

LOH Is the attraction for you to compare yourself with the athletes?

MATS HUMMELS Not at all. But from such athletes I know more about what they do on the pitch - but not the story behind them. What motivated her, what motivated her? Or what it is like for me - just the incredible fun of my sport?

LOH This fun is the reason that you do not crack underpressure easily from your lips. Because you have problems directly with yourself before you allow others to do it.

MATS HUMMELS Yes, definitely. For that I am aware that when I do something wrong, I am talking about it myself. Even in the square (laughs).

LOH Can you find friends as a player in the professional sport, or is everyone just an I-AG? Where there is nothing more than the business interest to have success together?

MATS HUMMELS Part one of your question I can answer clearly: I have found through the football friends, who will hopefully accompany me for many years. Part two I see this way: If a player has a personal success in mind, in my opinion does not mind, if the team at the same time profit. There are also players who pay attention firstly to the overall strength of a team - both humanly and sportily - and it does not matter if they are doing well on their own.

LOH How was return after eight years at Borussia Dortmund to Bayern? Was it a home?

MATS HUMMELS On a private level it was that. Munich is now my home, there I have a circle of friends since the youth. But at Vereinsebene, the phrase "Heimkommen" would not do justice to what I felt in Dortmund and what the team gave me there for years. Nevertheless, FC Bayern is still familiar with their colleagues.

LOH How do you deal with it when you read something or experience something that annoys her insanely?

MATS HUMMELS I find it terrible when consciously writing something wrong or even inventing it. It is often seen that words are turned a little bit and put into a different context. Or even, which one with the phrase "sensible" is put something indirectly in the mouth - there becomes borderline.

LOH In the Trump era there are no lies, but only "alternative facts".

MATS HUMMELS Yes (laughs) ... but if really deliberately lied, then I am against it.

LOH Many of you are surprised that you have stayed in Germany so far. They had English performance, there were options.

MATS HUMMELS I'm not consciously staying here. It has been so far that I have thought about each year anew, on what I like what I want to make. In short, I wonder where I could be happiest at the time.

LOH Your advantage is that you are relieved of this feel-good factor. Because it is astonishing that money or material goods do not play a major role in any of your interviews. On the contrary.

MATS HUMMELS Money? I do not know what to ask. Because I am not particularly conspicuous cars around the area or run in extroverted outfits.

LOH Cosmopolitan recommends you women for erotic fantasies, the SZ calls you sex symbol and GQ has you portrayed just twice big in fashion. Since you are now already inconspicuous, as you are perceived in the public ...

MATS HUMMELS If you had seen me at 16, you would never have had the idea that I could be positive with fashion. It has evolved over time.

LOH They wear understatement rather than statement pieces.

MATS HHUMMELS Definitely . I do not wear things that have multiple colors. Also no wild patterns. My brother is the complete opposite: I used to call him "rainbow" because he always carried such colorful things.

LOH At 28 you are not a "rockie" anymore. What are your goals? WM 2018, EM 2020: Think so far?

MATS HUMMELS Yes. 2018, 2020 I will still play in any case. But will I still be there at the World Cup 2022 - or even 2024, if the European Championship takes place in Germany? My God, I would be in the middle of 30. If I still play, the body makes the with, how well do I play then? Actually acute these questions are not yet for me.

LOH From years to minutes: What about your sense of time on the pitch - do you know intuitively: now a minute has passed?

MATS HUMMELS No, I have no feeling for that. Sometimes I have so much strength that I think after 40 minutes, it's only 20 past. But then there are days, I hope that already 40 minutes are played, although only 20 rum are - so I am then broken.

LOH Jérôme Boateng has told us in the interview how deeply his relationship in the field is to you - and that at the 2014 World Cup always could rely on each other. How important and helpful is this familiarity?

MATS HUMMELS It's already very good when you have the back of the head: I could be weak today, and my fellow players can compensate for this. Then one can say also times: "People, today is with me the worm in it. Look, you double-hedge me. "Fortunately, this is very, very rare. But in the final of the 2014 World Cup, I had big problems with my knee. I said to Jérôme, "I can not walk any more. I do not know why I'm still on the pitch. You have to protect me. "Has then worked quite well ...

LOH There is a sentence that plays a role in your life: "Only one who goes his way, no one can overtake."

MATS HUMMELS: Did I say that? He was put into my mouth (laughs) ...

LOH No. Your father should have given you this as a lifeless experience.

MATS HUMMELS In football, this sentence hits me completely. To solve things in my way and not always to go the given way. I think this is the key to the way I have found myself and my way of playing. By imagining my ideal image of football. From then on, I worked in training and in the game in the way it was right in my eyes. Even if a coach says, "Do not go to risk now." Sometimes I do it anyway, if I think it's the best for the moment. This attitude led me into the national team and to titles. Often, I intuitively do what I believe will help the team at this moment. It may not always be what is viewed from the outside - but I believe,

#mats hummels #l'officiel hommes

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

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STARTUPS AND QUICKER

But my instincts tell me you don't have to worry, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new. And while there might be some businesses that it would be hard to find a better focus group than hackers, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. It is by poking about inside current technology that hackers get ideas for the next generation of business computer. At first we tried to conceal it. Are there walkable neighborhoods?1 The optimal ways to make more, smaller investments faster. 6 months of runway. Are there walkable neighborhoods? As long as it has the right sort of wrongness, that's a promising sign. It would be ironic if, as hackers fear, recent measures intended to protect national security and intellectual property turned out to be a very promising startup indeed to get a good job, is a language that makes source code ugly is maddening to an exacting programmer, as clay full of lumps would be to include working unsubscribe links in their mails. I work best in chunks of no more than 12. If you turned it over, it said Inside Macintosh.

And some of the problems we were trying to solve were endlessly difficult. Almost every form of publishing has been organized as if the medium was what they were selling, why has the price of books or music or movies always depended mostly on the format? I wish its advantages were better understood. Or is it, rather, nonexistent?2 So if auto-retrieving spam filters would make the email system rebound. It would be a pretty cheap experiment, as civil expenditures go. So an angel round turn cold the process at least degrades gracefully, instead of the right companies. As long as it has the right sort of wrongness, that's a higher rate of return than a VC could ever hope to get from a company that took 6 years to go public, you won't be able to make the case to everyone for doing it. Don't expect it to be perfect. We thought Airbnb was a bad idea. The first thing to understand is that encouraging startups is a different problem from encouraging startups in a particular city, you have to worry, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new.3

The only explanation is that they're telling the truth: there are just not enough great programmers to go around. Founders usually have a lot of work to learn a new programming language. At its best programming is the same. For example, I suspect people in Hollywood are simply mystified by hackers' attitudes toward copyrights. Others thought YC had some special insight about the future of most current media. If free copies of your content are available online, then you're competing with publishing's form of distribution, and that's just as bad as being a publisher.4 In retrospect that seems ridiculous, and we don't realize how lucky we are that it is a congenial atmosphere for the right sort of wrongness, that's a promising sign. But before we hired a PR firm I had no idea where articles in the mainstream media was. Though we initially did this out of self-indulgence, it turned out to be the thing-that-doesn't-scale that defines your company. No matter how thoroughly you've read it, not written it. The super-angels is good news for founders. Let's consider what it would feel like to have x-ray vision for character.5

Are there walkable neighborhoods? Why does this sound familiar? And of course you can't safely redesign something other people are working on. So let me tell you what Jessica has achieved. The company has, say, 6 months before they're out of business? When we cook one up we're not always 100% sure which kind it is.6 They'll all lose their jobs eventually, along with all the time they expended on this doomed company.

So they claim it's because they want to. Technology gives the best programmers huge leverage. To get the same rate of return, the VC would have to get a multiple of 10 6—one million x. Lewis's industry contacts also include the creative director of GQ. It's not merely true that organizations dislike the idea of depending on individual genius, it's a tautology. Jessica Livingston, Robert Morris, Peter Norvig, Lisa Randall, Emmett Shear, Sergei Tsarev, and Stephen Wolfram for reading drafts of this essay. Like the remarks of an outspoken old grandmother, the sayings of the founding fathers have embarrassed generations of their less confident successors.7 So while you'll probably survive, the problem now becomes to survive with the least damage and distraction.

Really they ought to be out there digging up stories for themselves. If you want to sell early. So if it seems too good to be true to think you could grow a local silicon valley by giving startups $15-20k each like Y Combinator, that's because it is.8 Distractions are bad for many types of work, but especially bad for programming, because programmers tend to operate at the limit of the detail they can handle. Because the self-reinforcing, like a prophet, that there would soon be a computer with half a MIPS of processing power that would fit under an airline seat and cost so little that we could save enough to buy one from a summer job. At the mention of ugly source code, people will of course think of Perl. The first is probably the future of technology. The trends we've been seeing are probably not YC-specific. Or to put it more brutally, 6 months before they're out of business. To the extent the movie business can avoid becoming publishers, they may avoid publishing's problems. Or, to put it more nicely, overworked.

A round they often don't.9 Otherwise you're probably just postponing the problem, and that it therefore mattered far more which startups you picked than how much you spend.10 What about iTunes? In fact many of the current super-angels. They'll all lose their jobs eventually, along with all the time. People still pay for those. There used to be a spam url, so submitting every http request in every email would work fine nearly all the widely used languages uses Python for most of his projects. The super-angels were initially angels of the classic type.

But show them a lock and their first thought is how to pick it. After all, you're not doing those 15 people might not even be the ones who do it well. An angel round is not only quicker, but you get feedback as it progresses. There is such a thing is to treat individuals as interchangeable parts. The Men's Wearhouse. On average it would take to get new ones to move there. We thought Airbnb was a bad idea. But often it requires practically an act of rebellion against the organizations that employ them. The earlier you pick startups, the more completely a project can mutate.

Notes

It's also one of them. But I don't think you need to import is broader, ranging from 50 to 6,000 legitimate emails.

6/03 Nielsen study quoted on Google's site. But in most competitive sports, the term copyright colony was first used by Myles Peterson. Ironically, one could aspire to the biggest company of all.

It's hard for us, they very often come back; Apple can change them instantly if they seem to have kids soon. For example, the 2005 summer founders, like play in a place where few succeed is hardly free.

The kind of kludge you need to. They're still deciding, which merchants used to those. A round, no one else involved knows French.

They might not have to rely on cold calls and introductions. What should you do.

Most don't try to go away is investors requiring them.

For a long time. The nationalistic idea is the lost revenue. There is always 15 weeks behind the scenes role in IPOs, which amounts to the code you write for your protection.

As Clinton himself discovered to his surprise when, in the world, but less than the type of mail, I can't predict which these will be inversely proportional to the founders want to get going, and—e. They did try to make programs easy to imagine that there were some good ideas in the U.

It's not quite as harmless as we think we're so useless that in New York, and don't want to keep them from leaving to start a startup. Then you'll either get the money so burdensome, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been campaigning for the same in the evolution of the USSR offers a vivid illustration of that. That's why there's a continuum here.

They have no trouble getting hired by these companies when you had a strange feeling of being back in high school to be an inverse correlation between launch magnitude and success. You'd think they'd have taken one of few they had to work with founders create a portal for x.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #http #quicker #degrades #firm

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mostfunnystuff247-blog · 6 years

Text

Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Kanye West

Books & Music Did you know he got his start in the music biz as a producer — not a rapper? Jennifer Nied 2018-10-11

Getty Images | Noel Vasquez If there’s one thing you can say about rapper and fashion mogul (and Mr. Kim Kardashian) Kanye West, it’s that he’s not afraid to take risks. Here’s everything you may not know about Kanye, from the fact that he was once an awkward teen in Chicago to the fact that he was engaged once before ultimately meeting and marrying Kim.

Kanye Had An Awkward Phase As A Teen

Even the multitalented, trendsetting West had an awkward phase when he was younger. Rolling Stone reported that in high school, other kids teased him about his braces. It seems like it was worth it, though, because his smile looks great today.

Getty Images

He Attended Two Colleges

He started at American Academy of Art in Chicago and transferred to Chicago State University. West dropped out before graduating and opted to pursue a career in the music industry instead. He named his 2004 debut album “The College Dropout,” though West received an honorary doctorate degree from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago in 2015.

Flickr | romanboed

He Got His Start As A Producer

West got his start in music with Roc-A-Fella Records as a producer for several of the tracks on Jay Z’s album “The Blueprint.”��He wanted more than producing credits, however and convinced the Roc-A-Fella team to give him a shot on the other side as a rapper.

Getty Images | Michael Buckner

He Likes Nicknames

In September, West announced on Twitter that he now prefers to be called “Ye.” “Ye” is also the name of his latest album. Some of his previous album names have also matched his other nicknames, Pablo and Yeezy — notably, 2013’s “Yeezus” and 2016’s “The Life of Pablo.”

Getty Images | Neilson Barnard

He Was Engaged Once Before Marrying Kim Kardashian

In 2006, West proposed to his then-girlfriend, designer Alexis Phifer, over a romantic dinner while on vacation in Capri, Italy. The two ultimately parted ways in 2008, just months after his mother’s death in November 2007. At the time of the breakup, a friend of his told People, “Kanye has been going through a rough time.”

Getty Images | David Livingston

Kanye Was In A Car Accident That Nearly Killed Him

In 2002, while driving home from the studio at 4 a.m., West fell asleep at the wheel, crashed into an oncoming car and broke his jaw. (The crash broke both of the other driver’s legs and his pelvis.) He had to have it wired shut to let it heal. He ended up recording his first single, “Through the Wire,” with his jaw still wired shut.

Getty Images | Randy Brooke

He Had A Close Relationship With His Mother

His parents divorced when he was 3 years old, and his mother, Donda, raised West in Chicago. When he was a rising star, she left her teaching position at the University of Chicago to work as his manager. West frequently brought her as his guest to award shows and events.

Getty Images | Fernando Leon

His Mother Died Suddenly After Surgery

In 2007, Donda died after returning home following cosmetic surgery. People covered the aftermath and the coroner’s report, writing that the Los Angeles coroner concluded she “died of heart disease while suffering ‘multiple post-operative factors’ after plastic surgery.'” The sudden and tragic loss was understandably difficult for West. He named his new creative content and design company Donda as a tribute to his mother.

Getty Images | Kevin Winter

His Tastes In Music Are Surprising

During a Rolling Stone interview from 2006, West had a conversation with Willi.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas in which he said, “I love your album. The only albums that I listened to were yours, System of a Down and Fiona Apple.”

Getty Images | Frederick M. Brown

He Loves Stuffed Animals

When a Rolling Stone reporter noted the teddy bears on a windowsill in his house, West replied, “People give me bears all the time. I love stuffed animals.” His mascot Dropout Bear appeared on some early album covers, and apparently, the bear was a spontaneous choice for the cover. “The bear just happened to be at the school where Def Jam had booked the photo shoot for the album,” music exec Plain Pat told Complex.

West Compared His Lyrics To Advice From Mahatma Gandhi

West is never short on confidence. During an interview with Rolling Stone, he shared how he felt about a line in “Everything I Am” that goes, “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.” “In my humble opinion, that’s a prophetic statement,” he said. “Gandhi would have said something like that.”

Getty Images | Carl Court

He Has Directed Films

West was a director and a writer on the short fantasy film “Cruel Summer,” which tells the story of a car thief who falls in love with a blind princess. The film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2012. MTV compared it to his 2010 short “Runway,” saying it “plays like an extended music video.”

Getty Images | Michael Loccisano

He Relies On Others When Making Creative Choices

West bounces lyrics and new ideas off anyone who happens to be in the studio, and reportedly solicits advice from anyone and everyone. In fact, he has reached out to journalists, girlfriends and delivery drivers in addition to established industry professionals. In a Rolling Stone story, a former girlfriend noted she had to be careful about saying she didn’t like something, because he’d cut it.

Getty Images | Scott Gries

He Has Won 21 Grammys

West’s tally of mini gramophones ties him with Jay-Z. However, he has also had an incredible 68 Grammy nominations. West received his first Grammy in 2004 for Best Rap Album for “The College Dropout.”

Getty Images | Kevin Winter

He Has A Controversial View Of AIDS

West shocked the crowd at an AIDS awareness concert tour with his claim that AIDS was a “man-made disease” that had been “placed in Africa just like crack was placed in the black community to break up the Black Panthers.” During a Rolling Stone interview, he affirmed the widely discredited belief. “My parents taught me that AIDS was a man-made disease designed to get rid of the undesirable people,” he said.

Getty Images | Pascal Le Segretain

He’s Been Named One Of The Most Influential People In The World

West has made it onto Time magazine’s 100 most influential people in the world list twice, in 2005 and in 2015. He also earned GQ magazine’s International Man of the Year title in 2007, and GQ also recognized him as one of the 20 Best-Dressed Men in 2015.

Getty Images | Kevin Winter

He Has Blowout Birthday Parties

Thanks to his wife, Kim Kardashian West celebrated his recent 41st birthday in superstar style. The bash came complete with magic tricks and Kanye cookies. The guest list included Kardashian’s sisters and West’s musician friends. For his 30th birthday, West celebrated with friends Jay Z, Rihanna and John Legend at a Louis Vuitton store and had a teddy bear cake.

Getty Images | Dimitrios Kambouris

He Collaborates Often

West has collaborated with an incredible array of award-winning recording artists. He doesn’t just stick to R&B stars either. He has worked with Elton John, Lil Wayne, Pusha T, Alicia Keys, T-Pain, Fergie, Bon Iver, Chris Martin and Nicki Minaj among others.

Getty Images | Kevin Winter

He’s Writing A Book

West is a prolific writer when it comes to lyrics and Twitter, but a book is uncharted territory for the star. “I’m writing a philosophy book right now called ‘Break the Simulation,'” he told The Hollywood Reporter in April. “And I’ve got this philosophy … about photographs, and I’m on the fence about photographs — about human beings being obsessed with photographs — because it takes you out of the now and transports you into the past or transports you into the future.”

Getty Images | Tim Klein

He Sees A Philanthropic Future For His Yeezy Brand

“Yeezy will eventually become like a relief company,” West said of his clothing brand in an interview with Charlamagne Tha God. “If there’s a disaster we’re gonna dress. We’re gonna bring clothes and water. The same design perspective that can sell a $300 sweatshirt — we’re just going to give it. And eventually, that’s who we’ll be. You’ll look up, 5, 10 years from now, and Yeezy will be the biggest service provider of apparel.”

Getty Images | Dimitrios Kambouris

West Doesn’t Watch Much Television

West told an interviewer, “I don’t usually watch normal TV.” However, he said he likes documentaries and had enjoyed watching the 2018 Winter Olympics. He also mentioned wanting to see Wes Andersen’s “Isle of Dogs.”

Getty Images | Christopher Polk

He Marched For Clean Water

West consistently speaks his mind, no matter how controversial the cause, but this platform was surprisingly tame. In 2007, the superstar surprised about 50 Lexington, Maryland, residents when he joined them in observing World Water Day. West’s father organized the group, and they walked 3-6 miles for the U.N. initiative to raise awareness about clean drinking water.

Getty Images | Kevin Winter

He Became Addicted To Opioids After Cosmetic Surgery

“I was drugged out,” West said during an interview with TMZ Live. Mid-interview, he stands, turns around and says to the entire TMZ office, “Hey, everyone listen to this, please.” West then explained how he became addicted to opioids — and media stories about the appearance of celebrities — after cosmetic surgery. “I didn’t want y’all to call me fat, so I got liposuction. Right? And they gave me opioids.”

Getty Images | Jamie McCarthy

He Invested In His Father’s Business

His father Ray West is a former Black Panther and was one of the first black photojournalists at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He also worked as a Christian counselor. In 2006, West helped his father open the Good Water Store and Café in Maryland. The Kanye West Foundation loaned him the money for the cafe.

Getty Images | Frank Micelotta

He Bought Out The Covers Of 9 Publications

The cover buyout in September was a publicity push for the new Yeezy Adidas shoes. The New York Post was one of the publications that sold its cover for the advertisement, which featured the words “We Love” in 11 languages, as you can see in this Instagram shot from juniorrose_0731:

He’s Worth How Much!?

Kim Kardashian’s appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” in July caused a stir when Kimmel asked her about reports that Kylie Kardashian had become a billionaire. Kimmel asked Kim, “You’re not almost a billionaire, are you?” she replied, “I would say my husband is, so that makes me one, right?” A writer at Celebrity Net Worth parsed out the rumors that flew after the appearance, and ultimately, the publication valued West’s net worth at closer to $250 million.

Getty Images | Jason Merritt

His Relationship With Kim Kardashian Began With Friendship

West made his true feelings for her pretty clear in the lyrics of “Cold” before the famous couple began dating. “And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim, Around the same time she had fell in love with him.” Complex noted that the lyrics revealed an overlap with Kardashian’s relationship with NBA player Kris Humphries, whom she was married to briefly in 2011. Not long after the song’s release in 2012, their relationship turned romantic.

Getty Images | Noel Vasquez

His Tattoos Are Meaningful

West has many tattoos, but two of them are extra special. He has the birth dates of his mother, Donda, and his daughter North tattooed on his wrists.

Getty Images | Craig Barritt

He’s A Vocal Supporter Of President Trump

West donned a red Make America Great Again hat and took to the microphone to support the president following his “Saturday Night Live” appearance Sept. 29. But this was only the rapper’s most recent show of support for Donald Trump. After a meeting with West in 2017, the president told reporters the two have been “friends for a long time.”

Getty Images | Drew Angerer

‘Ye’ Was His First Album That Did Not Go Platinum

West released “Ye” in June 2018. He completed the album on his ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. All of his seven other studio-produced albums have been certified platinum or higher in the U.S.

Getty Images | Mark MetcalfeOriginally published on The Delite. Previous post 2018-19 Jeep Wranglers being recalled for problem with frame, reports say Next post This is the most recent story. Read the full article

#amazing #animal #Animals #babes #Books&Music #cat #celeb #Celebrities&PopCulture #dog #Entertainment #fashion #food #fun #funny #girls #hot #insane #KanyeWest #kimkardashian #sexy #unbelievable

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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Nora Lum, a.k.a. Awkwafina — the YouTube viral sensation turned star in this year’s Ocean’s 8 and Crazy Rich Asians and this week’s Saturday Night Live host — is having a very good 2018.

Her movies are doing well: Crazy Rich Asians is on track to be one of the biggest success stories of 2018; Oceans 8 has outearned all the other Oceans movies. And Awkwafina herself is being hailed as part of an immensely likable ensemble in Oceans 8, and as the breakout star of Crazy Rich Asians.

Rolling Stone called her Crazy Rich Asians performance “a singular, unforgettable take on the often-forgettable BFF part.” She’s “on the cusp of a movie star moment,” wrote Refinery 29. Newsweek declared 2018 “her year.”

“This is what Hollywood is built on,” gossip expert Elaine Lui told the Washington Post of Awkwafina’s current moment: “the moment a star arrives.”

But when Lum talks about her current star-making moment, she doesn’t seem to fully associate it with herself. That’s because she talks about Nora and Awkwafina as two different people.

She talks about leaving her office job for show business as going off “in pursuit of Awkwafina.” She switches between the first and third person when she talks about her persona. “You can put as much makeup [on me as you want] and put me in dance classes, but she’ll never be mainstream,” she told GQ, referring to herself and her persona (italics added). “It’s just not going to happen.”

“Awkwafina is someone who never grew up, who never had to bear the brunt of all the insecurities and overthinking that come with adulthood. Awkwafina is the girl I was in high school — who did not give a shit,” she explained to the Guardian in June. “Nora is neurotic and an overthinker and could never perform in front of an audience of hecklers.”

It’s a classic Norma Jean versus Marilyn Monroe split, and it’s laying some important groundwork for how Awkwafina’s career might develop.

Right now, Awkwafina is celebrated for her raunch; she’s America’s new favorite unruly woman. She’s doing the Melissa McCarthy/Tiffany Haddish maneuver, and doing it exceptionally well. She’s even got the SNL hosting gig to prove it, right on schedule: McCarthy hosted SNL for the first time six months after Bridesmaids premiered, and Haddish hosted four months after Girls Trip; Awkwafina’s outing comes four months after Ocean’s 8 and two months after Crazy Rich Asians.

That means that Awkwafina is currently on track to emulate the career path modeled by McCarthy and Haddish before her. But because she’s developed the Awkwafina/Nora split, she’s also left herself an escape route.

An unruly woman is a woman who transgresses the boundaries in which women are supposed to live their lives, and preferably one who does it gleefully, laughing all the time. She is the opposite of what we are taught a woman is supposed to be: She might be fat, or she might straightforwardly pursue sex, or she might just genuinely like herself without apology.

In her book The Unruly Woman, film scholar Kathleen Rowe names Miss Piggy — with her “overpowering” size and affection and her penchant for karate chops — one of the greatest unruly women on the American screen. The unruly woman breaks the rules of femininity, and she makes us love her for it.

When Melissa McCarthy exploded onto the screen in 2011’s Bridesmaids — stealing dogs and shitting in sinks with glee and abandon — she was breaking the rules on a new level. Bridesmaids was a whole movie about women who got to be gross and funny, and McCarthy was the grossest and funniest one of all.

GQ called her performance “the bravest, most batshit, most balls-out, and hilarious performance of the year,” and devoted an oral history to it. McCarthy “lit up the screen like a 500-watt bulb,” said Rolling Stone.

“Most of us remember the first time we realized that McCarthy was the funniest thing since really funny sliced bread,” recalled E Online five years later. “Some Bridesmaids fans cite the engagement scene when she pledges to ‘Climb that like a tree,’ others prefer the sight gag of her driving down the highway while wrangling a litter of puppies.”

McCarthy’s performance was so compelling that it effectively redirected her career. Before Bridesmaids, she was best known for being bubbly and sweet on shows Gilmore Girls and Mike and Molly; post-Bridesmaids, McCarthy would be best known for starring in a string of raunch comedies, some of them directed by Bridesmaids’s Paul Feig, and Mike and Molly would be tweaked to give McCarthy and her slapstick acumen more attention.

Six years later, Girls Trip premiered and it was Tiffany Haddish’s turn to take the Unruly Woman crown. Girls Trip, like Bridesmaids before it, was a raunchy sex comedy, and Haddish, like McCarthy before her, was the raunchiest one in the cast.

Over the course of the movie, Haddish gleefully scores absinthe, demonstrates her blowjob technique, and pees on a crowd while hanging from a zip line. The critics adored her. “It’s Haddish who brings all the hardest laughs,” opined Vanity Fair. USA Today called her “comedy gold.” “Tiffany Haddish steals the entire film,” concluded Caroline Framke for Vox.

What was shocking and exciting about these two performances was that McCarthy and Haddish were breaking all the rules of femininity — and they were doing it with incredible warmth and self-possession. (“I just love anybody who’s that comfortable in her own skin,” McCarthy confessed to GQ.) McCarthy and Haddish were utterly unruly and they loved themselves, and that made the rest of us love them too.

Moreover, they were breaking those rules in an extremely specific context. Part of what made Haddish and McCarthy’s performances so compelling is that they were playing the most unruly women in a group of women who were already pretty unruly. They were there to establish the outer limits in each movie’s Overton Window of raunch: next to McCarthy shitting in the sink, Kristen Wigg projectile vomiting doesn’t seem so bad. Jada Pinkett Smith pees onto a crowd while hanging from a zip line, too, but she does it accidentally, while whimpering with shame; when Haddish follows suit, she does it with both intention and glee.

Both Bridesmaids and Girl’s Trip are id-driven movies, and McCarthy and Haddish provide the bulk of the id. That frees up the rest of the cast to be grownups while they get to have all the fun.

As a culture, we seem to need to pick a woman every few years who is allowed to be bigger and brasher and louder and grosser than everyone around her, who is able to be unruly and who forces us to love her anyway. We want someone who is willing to break the rules, and to make the argument through the sheer force of their charisma that the rules are there to be broken. And this year, it’s Awkwafina’s turn.

[embedded content]

Awkwafina emerged into public consciousness primed to take the crown as America’s next favorite unruly woman. Her first viral hit was her YouTube rap “My Vag,” which sees her pulling a violin out of an off-camera vagina and boasting, “My vag speaks five different languages, and told your vag, ‘Go make me a sandwich.’” Her first movie role was a small part in the raunch-comedy Neighbors 2, which saw her flinging used tampons at a house.

Her big breakout movie came with Crazy Rich Asians, which doesn’t have the raunch of a Bridesmaids or a Girls Trip: it’s a conventional romantic comedy with no jokes about bodily fluids. But within the confines of a classic romcom, Awkwafina shines with her own kind of unruliness, one that’s calibrated to stand out against the film’s more traditionally comedic tone.

Critics have drawn the connection to her immediate predecessor in unruliness. Awkwafina “Tiffany Haddishes away with this film in a big old way,” said Glen Weldon on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour. “You’re going to get tired of people telling you” about her.

Awkwafina is playing Peik Lin, the main character’s best friend, and it’s her blonde-wigged brashness that powers the movie through its funniest scenes. She feels like she’s in a different, slightly coarser movie than everyone else, in a good way.

Awkwafina is the id monster of this movie in the same way that McCarthy and Haddish were the id monsters of their respective breakouts, and it’s the over-the-top new money crassness of her character Peik Lin that allows Constance Wu’s Americanized Rachel Chu to feel comparatively well-behaved. Peik Lin has set the outer limit of the Overton Window of unruliness in this world.

In the sweet, mannered, Austenian universe of Crazy Rich Asians, when Peik Lin says, “Bawk, bawk, bitch,” or tiptoes through a lavish house party in designer pajamas, she’s being about as unruly as anyone could manage. She’s the only person in the whole movie who gets to say fuck.

“In a romantic comedy, you get very earnest,” director John Chu told Rolling Stone, “and you need someone who can pop it, who feels confident and different, not the same old sidekick.” That’s where brash, bold Awkwafina comes in. But it’s not where careful, considering Nora Lum comes in.

Which is not to say that Awkwafina hasn’t incorporated Nora Lum into her acting at all. “I don’t know which one I turn on for acting,” she told GQ, before suggesting that she might rely on both: “Lum is the calculating, thoughtful preparation,” the article summarizes. “Awkwafina is the chaos.” But it’s the chaotic glee of Awkwafina that’s powering her rise to movie stardom right now, and Awkwafina’s unruliness that critics are lauding.

But by separating Awkwafina from Nora, Lum has also built an alternative future for herself. She has essentially replicated the work that the unruly woman traditionally does in a comedy within her own persona: Awkwafina sets the outer limits of the Overton Window of raunch the way Peik Lin does in Crazy Rich Asians, so that beside her Nora Lum looks comparatively more conventional, the way Rachel Chu does next to Peik Lin. Awkwafina is the id monster, and Nora Lum the grownup.

And that duality gives Awkwafina the possibility for enormous freedom in her future career. She can be both the unruly woman and the ingenue, because she’s laid the groundwork for audiences to see her as both. She’s built her very own personal foil.

Original Source -> How Awkwafina rode the unruly woman trope to stardom

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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quonit-aceattorney · 6 years

Text

3-3 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

Q: Got to the next one. Funny name.

Q: Hey this is like the game over thing :0

Q: Didn't even start and I lost already

Q: What did I do wrong Gumshoe

Maya shut up

Q: The hell happened

Q: Crap how and why would anybody dress as me

Q: MAGGIE

YOU HAVE HORRIBLE LUCK

Q: Idea: killer was also phoney me

Q: Wow this place is fancy

GQ: MAGGEY TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAWIN

Q: The fancy place reset :0

OH MY GOD

This place is great

Q: Where the HELL did my magic rock go D:<

I don't see it in my inventory!!!

Q: Oh thank you locks for still appearing

I was very worried a bout it not being in my inventory

FUCK SO IT IS GONE

Q: ...to the park?

Q: Mr what is that red thing on your nose I think you should stop touching it

Q: Doves are usually grey too

Q: Apples are good. Let's talk about that. What is your favorite Apple phoenix? I myself like granny Smith's and pink ladies

Q: Iell I didn't get the old man to talk but it seems the newspaper I got landed Maya a job so

Q: Wow Maya is actually gone. Guess it is time to examine everything again

Q: Well it seems the detention center has reset so that is good

Whatever she isn't here

Office reset

Haha I should really be more upset when Maya leaves

Whatever she is fine

Q: Yay the police station reset!

Gummy!!!

Whatever godot is fun

Q: Of only somebody pointed out one of the many many differences between me and the phoney that trial

Q: Godot I give you passed on a lot of things and I like you but I really wanna know why you hate me

Q: Alright were going back to fancy restaurant

this part was great actually

BF: Hahaha

And then Maya was kidnapped by the effeminate restauranteur, the end

Q: oh hey the restaurant reset. Examine everything?

oh no there is a person here

hell other your head looks like it had been hurt :(

goodbye i guess

HI MAYA

Maya: So how do i look? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: I think you should quit being a spirit medium. yes

let's just take a break and eat food sounds like a plan

i duno if i even have that much on me

oh crap well i guess i am getting lunch

i don't have 50$ on me Gant can i have 50$ oh ya you're in prison/dead

Q: Maya eat my lunch

dammit maya stop taking my money

COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD

Eh maybe some other random person why enjoy it

Q: examine everything

the magmenta!!!

I missed it so much!!!

it's probably poison

Q: gonna take a break for around 40 minuets

Q: that took so much longer and it is partially my fault

Q: Also I did a stupid redraw of one of Zarla's drawings from like 2007 and it looks good but ack i redrew a thing she drew in 2007. Once i feel like it i'll send a picture

i think we may be done in the kietchen. We got some stuff and it may be important so something somewhere may have reset

hey the police department reset!

yesss gumshoe

present him stuff

Gumshoe is this poison

tell meee

wow that's a lot of money

have to go again

Q: finally back and i have muffins to munch on while I play

Q: i remember this music

this is matt's theme whatever

to the other rooms

hey the park reset

there is a motercycle here now

STOP SCREAMING

WHY ARE YOU YET

WHY IS HE RED

Hey he said crap woo another close to swearing word

why are there so many weird people in this trian

trial

Q: case

whatever the fuck

im also saying that dipshit isn't phoenix write

OH FUCK

how did nobody suspect anything about him???

and if they did, WHY DID NOBODY SAY ANYTHING?

OLD GUY phoeny me left and i am mad i didn't punch him while i could

i think they were dressed alright enough

locks woo

i am so glad i have the magmenta back

Q: examine everything?

at least there aren't as many rooms

Q: got back to game and decided to see if i can break the locks

Q: i wiiiiin

Q: MIA

OH MY GOD

she is using her boobs to her advantage

i forgot her completly now

*forgive

MIA I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID I THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Q: Phoenix she is giving up her dignity for you thank her don't judge her

Q: time to move

wooo it reset

Q: iii wiiiin

noooo phoenix this guy can't be the killer

it's that moron red skinned phoenix impersonating asshole >:(

SHIT GODOT

STOP

I AM WINNING GO AWAY

Q: i usually give you passed but not now GO AWAY

Q: that red dude might've put the winning tcken in her pocket when he ran off

i hate red guy

save music

GUMSHOE

Q: well judge, THAT GUY WAS A FAKE FROM HELL

aw he called me trusty

BF: Lol Tigre? XD

quonit-aceattorney

yes

we didn't learn his name yet

Q: but i am amusing that is his name now

BF: Ooooh sorry

Q: it is fine i don't think it was a big spoiler

BF: Yeah Hahaha, he’s not exactly subtle

Q: WHY DID NOBODY QUESTION HIM

he was probably too intimidating but really one person had to right?

"MY OCCUPATION IS DICK GUMSHOE"

BF: Lol think of this whole case as like...one of those old Saturday morning cartoon plots where the good guy gets a really really obvious double

Q: pffft

BF: Like the double has bolts sticking out of their neck and they constantly yell about how evil they are

Q: i can imagine this.

BF: And yet you still have that scene where they are standing side by side and all the good guys are like HOWEVER WILL WE TELL THEM APART

Which one is the real one how can we be suuuure

That’s basically what this case is, haha

hehe

stoooooop

Q: I wonder who in the end will get to use the ticketyQ: maggey didn't do it mr tigre didQ: HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BLOODSTAIN JUDGE GUY.

I say this like it was obvious and makes sense to anybody in the game stupid spoiler i pretend is a headcanon keeps proving itself to be true

Phoenix: You don't need to be told! Just look at it! SHUT UP PHOENIX >:( THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID HEADCANON. whatever let's ignore that and get back to figuring out the bloodstain. sry godot

no there is other stuff

LIKE THAT TIGRE GUY

Phoenix: Is it possible that somebody could've put the bottle in her pocket? Me: YES Gumshoe: ya! Happens to me all of the time! Me: REALLY

well if i had my phoeny's profile i would but nope sorry godot no evidence yet

Everyone: :talking about old man guy throwing seeds: Godot: Hah! It was nothing. I caught every single one of them with my teeth! impressive. DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM???

Q: i mean empty bags can have meaning why not?Q: well the stuff inside the bag was empty

hey that worked!

nice im cool now

Q: no he didn't put his medication in, red guy didQ: BUT WOO i am winningQ: we all died a little bit inside

maggey he was doing what he was supposed to do and was relying on me to figure out what was wrong with it. he didn't do anything.

Q: old guy tell us your occupationQ: don't lie that she put something in it

IT'S 2019 IN THE GAME NOW YOU SHOULD GET USED TO IT

also wasn't he looking at a sports paper right he was listening to the radio right

Phoenix: Did she really put that in there?? Phoenix you know not to trust this guy he is wrong she didn't

Q: MR I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS "WASTING". I MEAN HE DIED AFTER TAKING A SIP.

Phoenix: Congratulations. You have earned the title of Battiest Man To Grace A Courtroom. I love sarcastic phoenix

Phoenix: Anybody could've word that outfit! Even me! Judge: Mr.Wright please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image hahahahaha

Q: the bow was blue but whatever. also that is still part of the outfit.

the bow was ORANGE

EDGEWORTH IS PURPLE AND THE BOW IS ORANGE NOT RED. I DON'T CARE IF THE GAME SAYS OTHERWISE IM RIGHT

Old guy: This is harassment! I mean what are you doing?

REALLY

Q: how about the apron? Like the godamn bloodstainQ: doing lots of stuff in game i should document it moreQ: coffee cupQ: it woooorked

LEFT HANDS AND RIGHT HANDS

ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THAT

IT IS A VERY COMMON THING IN THIS SERIES

now you have to sing. sing for us now.

who cars about your age dammit

respect the coffee kudo

the eye lense is TEAL NOT GREEN UGH THIS GAME CAN'T GET ITS COLORS RIGHT

Q: AND SOMEHOW POINTING THAT OUT GOT ME A WIN

and his ear whatever but i still win

Q: HE IS SINGING THE PIDGEON SONG AND EATING THE BIRDSEEDS WOOO I WINQ: back to investigation?

no? okay

Q: but godot finished his coffee! How can we continue now???Q: but he didn't knock over the vase? look at the photo he didn'tQ: your memory is completly unreliable

goooooddbyyyyyyeee

Q: think i can be done for nowQ: game because working is dumbQ: let's bring up that jerk again why not

RED GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Q: Maya: Introduce me next time, Nick! I wanna meet Xin Eohp too!

Q: to the detention center

dammit

nvm then

hey gumshoe!

Q: don't be sad gumshoe there are still lots of people that love you and maggey will probably be fine with you againa fter this is overQ: dont lie to me gumshoe i can ee right through it

unless it's in court the locks don't work in court

i win

Q: Maya: I wanna try it!

Phoenix: Then buy a ticket! With your own money! See Phoenix is smart

Q: no im not going tot the park i don't wanna see him right now i wanna talk to gumshoeQ: 2019: The year of gumQ: SEE GODOT KNEW THAT THAT GUY WAS A FAKE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR THAT

GODOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY

Q: nniiiiice we can go visit his work nowQ: what do you mean the color of your coat looks more detective-y

also im still confused about if franz sent back the coat and kept the evidence or if gumshoe just got a new coat.

to blue screens because i don't wanan see red guy

wtf is with her

Q: I would say this isn't 2019 but i have no right to say that yet because i have never lived in 2019Q: at least she is letting me examine evidence

Trigre >:(

future from 2004 or future from 2019

Phoenix: Computers are only as smart as the humans who use and make them are ...you know nothing...

Q: im about done here

to the park

Q: the scooter is backQ: well he isnt here that is fine

oh hey that girl is here

is she threatening to kill him or

Q: great so tiger is also involved in not only impersonating me, but also killing glen, and this guy's money problem

to the office

gumshoe you just left go to your meeting

Q: well im headed to where i was going again

hi girl again

imma go touch the desk

Q: of course it's the same color as my suit he used it to pretend to be meQ: HI TIGRE

WHAT DO YOU WANT

Q: well at least i can talk to her now

no maya

Q: if you want coffee just ask godotQ: im to go look in other placesQ: see mr kudo is giving us information it's a ll good

Phoenix: maybe he's trying to avoid us?" It always feels that way when i try to find somebody in this game and they aren't there. None of them have ever been trying to avoid me but i guess if you think that that guy is trying to avoid you he is

hey maggey is back

Q: i have the cd~

Q: took a minute to fix the sound

why am i How-aceattourney

stupid tumblr

BF: TumbllllllrrrrrQ: oh ya the creepy womanQ: and she wont react to the profile so i guess im gonna leave now

wonder what is going on at this police station

Q: more game.

oh ya i was stuck

hmmm

go talk to people and investigate things

oh ya i still have gumshoe's lunchbox

Q: i know you're mad at him but pls

:shows paper badge: oh hey is that your badge WOW DOES MY BADGE REALLY LOOK THAT SHITTY

Q: ALSO DON'T BITE MY BADGE >:( AND IF IT LEAVES TEETH MARKS IT IS REAL.Q: dammit no new conversation topics

wonder if something else updated though

niiice the police department! I doubt that anything will be there though

how much does that guy at the desk get paid

GUMSHOE :D

oh damn that sounds bad. Wonder if it is from a specific somebody i hate or his girlfriend

Q: it's obvious what lady mayaQ: I was gonna ask what computer virus but asking what one is is dumb

though this did some out in 2004... nah still unacceptable. This is taking place in 2019.

GUMSHOE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ONE IS

it's 2019 guys get with the times

Q: so much of this game has already happened i feel so uncomfortable now that this is taking place in the future

OH THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OKAY

still bad but

and not only that they're more scary when they are attacking the POLICE

i mean mr.godot is a highly specific example but sure if i was sick and sneezed on him he might get sick too

oh so they are using that specific example to make fun of me again har har so funny guys

Q: OH SO THE GUY MADE A VIRUS

WELL SCREW THE VITIM IM HAPPY HE DIED

he probably had a reason for it but i don't believe it

Q: ya that family sounds dumb we should arrest themQ: i am angry right now

more stupid last names

ya guess who im going to stand up to

IM BRAVE

IM STRONG

I THINK IM PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED

I'VE RUINED SOME PRETTY EVIL PEOPLE'S LIVES

IF THESE GUYS ARE EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

IF THEY AREN'T EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

I AM NOT SCARED TO MAKE BOLD CLAIMS LIKE THIS

Q: oh uhhhh maggey still hates you and we had to eat them. Sorry dude... how about you go do something that will make you happyQ: eh if anything goes wrong and she doesn't eat them we can just threaten her with a gun. Always does the trick for me.Q: when did maggey leave whatQ: well i need to sleep now. Lost again but im lost at a different point

Q: "I'll stop spamming you now"

:opens Ace Attorney:

Just trying to get unstuck i don't think much will happen, only got 30 mins

lets see where am i

don't think i can get any locks but i don't think there is much harm in trying

can't break one lets look for another

Q: im still stuck imma go try againQ: found a thing in my inventory i think this is important

I love my magic rock

:00000 it worked

well ya your dad is the stupid c long name thing so of course that has to do with you

oh hey i broke a lock

from the looks of that cutscene that looks like mr tigre

one more lock

Q: I BROKE IT

WOOOO I AM UNSTUCK

Q: she crying :(Q: ugh no room is updating

i need to get the other locks i bet

Q: i win. That was easier than thoughtQ: why are we discarding so much stuff

:o a room reset

DAMMIT TIGRE GO AWAY

i swear if he tazes me

SO HE PUNCHED ME

I'm done with people assaulting me in some way and then taking my evidence

GUMSHOE

Q: GUMSHOE

SAAAAVE MEEEEE

thank you gumshoe

that improved my opinion of him greatly. There was nothing negitive but now there is more love to give

Did phoenix even every tell anybody about that time von karma tazed him and ran off with the letter

alright i need to sleep and there is a savepoint. yay! Also! GUMSHOE SAVED ME!

haha

at least he is dead and his daughter is better

alright i am sleeping now

Q: I can't sleep sadly

Not because I am too tired but for other reasons. I'll keep playing

MAGGEY do you think I can predict ANYTHING that will happen in a trial at all

I'm only play because of how Gumshoe saved my butt back there

Hey Gumshoe :D I am forever in your debt because of what you did back there

Q: Looks like we found the medicationQ: Oh ya I forgot about GodotQ: (He just called the judge a loser)Q: Oh so that guy will testify. One of the people who almost helped with the repeat of what happened with the letterQ: OH now I know he is covering up the existence of tigerQ: Phoenix your cover up swears suckQ: This game is so obsessed with left and right being contradictionsQ: How dare Godot say I shouldn't existQ: Playing a bunch not saying much though

I am Winning and godot is still making weird metaphors

Q: LOUD RUMBLEQ: I hope I can make tigre suffer

Save point. I think I can sleep now

Q: maya just because tigre is coming to the stand doesn't mean we are gonna win

gumshoe!!!

Q: well usually we have no idea what the trump card is

(fuckin letter)

Q: sense when have I lost a case?

Making matt guilty isn't loosing

making him fuck off was the true prize i won that

back to trial

Judge do not be intimidated. He's like 9 feed below you.

Tigre: WHO DA HELL CALLED ME TO DIS HOLE WAS IT YOU Phoenix: No it was the Judge Judge: :hides:

Godot: :makes Tigre shut up: Phoenix: T... Too cool... hahaha

Tigre: That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details til he wins! i feel called out

okay so question: People hate 2-3 so much and one of the reasons is Moe's testimony but there are SO MANY THINGS IN THIS 3RD GAME LIKE THAT

Q: not only that but this game is a lot more vague on "hey hey you were supposed to do this you are on the right track"

Godot: I hear it can be pretty hard to set up appointments when you're dead

BF: hahaha I think 3 tends to get forgiven most because the overall plot is VERY well constructed. Also I think the alleged hate against 2 is overblown. 2-4 is such a beloved case after all

but you'll see what I mean about overall plot in a bit.

4 tries like HELL to do what 3 did, I think, but it gets tripped up a lot along the way.

(and yes 3 is hard. I'd say the only thing it does that's more forgiving that 2 is that IIRC, it doesn't penalize you for screwing up Magatama sessions.)

Last Friday at 11:31 PM

Q: ahhh alright. I'll be waiting for the 3 plot. Also it doesn't get mad at your for screwing up magatama sessions?? I have not noticed such a thing.Q: but he was there because 1 other people say he was and 2 why else would that guy tell him to go thereQ: problem with having so much evidence is that i can't remember what is what and what proves what or that it even existsQ: oh hey these matchesQ: HUH

wooo

wooo it worked

oh boy more things that are very close to swearing from him

Q: so many things wrong with this next testamony

WHICH ONE DOES THE GAME WANT ME TO DISPROVE

Q: heeeey it workedQ: I am winning :DQ: it's the tigre guy obviously >:( He impersinates a lot of people

phoenix hiding under his desk

Q: obviously it was that girl

internet not working dammit

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOBODY COULD PULL OFF A STUNT LIKE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN WEIRDER THINGS

:Shows paper badge: Judge: It is an insult to think anybody could be fooled by that well then maybe you should reevaluate your life choices

guuuuumshoooooeeeee

where are you man

YESSSS GUMSHOE IS BACK

THANK YOU DUDE I WAS WAITING

GUMSHOE YOU ARE GREAT NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU ARE VERY USEFUL AND WE ALL LOVE YOU

heeey maaaggggeeyyyyy can you cheer gumshoe up for me he's being sad

quonit-aceattorney

OH SO YOU KNOW HOW THE BOTTLE LOOKS DO YOU :)

WELL I WIN!

he yells

hahahahaha glowey mask thing hahahaha

oh fuck you stop throwing coffee at me

why do you hate me so much i am not a criminal

hey gumshoe i won!!!

maybe maggey can be happy now

0 notes

leighleighpresents-blog · 6 years

Text

Kate Ceberano Interview

GQ: Hi Kate, how are you? How’s your day been today?

KC: It’s been really full-on, which is nice, cos, you know, you kind of prepare to do these things when you’re promoting stuff, and actually, when you look at it on paper, and you look at it a week away, it looks like a fucking nightmare. But then you look at it as you’re doing it, and it’s like “it’s all good”. And television’s not frightening, they’re not going to put the horror make-up on if you just don’t tell them, or don’t let them, and you don’t have to talk about any other crap that you don’t want to talk about, you just talk about what you want to talk about, and it’s all good! You just gotta be willing to be a little bit of a diva and mark your position in the sand, and you’re off.

GQ: It’s the only way to be isn’t it? Being a diva?

KC: Well, it is, but you don’t get to do it very often in Australia, cos, unfortunately, divas in Australia are not … we don’t breed proper divas, let’s put it that way. I mean, divas in America, for example, they have the whole culture, it’s in the whole infrastructure. But here, it’s different, you sort of struggle to stay … you have to continue to define and continue to explain your definition to people, whereas, in America, you’re defined by what people say about you. They create it all.

GQ: True, true. Well, you’re currently promoting your first Christmas album, Merry Christmas. How did it feel to record that?

KC: I’m a big fan of an era of Christmas music which goes back mostly to the 50’s, singers like Ella Fitzgerald, and Eartha Kitt, and another singer I like who you may not know, Julie London. To me, the sound of Christmas is the sound of those artists, Bing Crosby, and the older singers. You can do contemporary R’n’B, and you can do a whole lot of sort of choral or gospel type Christmas songs, but to me, it doesn’t seem to feel the same as when I hear those artists doing it, so it’s a little bit of an homage to them.

GQ: Well, you do a version of White Christmas, which, to me, is one of the all-time classics …

KC: It’s golden, it’s beautiful. I hadn’t actually thought of doing a Christmas album to date because I often do charity songs, usually giving up a track for charity, which, for the past couple of years, has been for Myer, and this time, I just went “No, I’m going to make an album for myself, and for my daughter Gypsy” and give her her own mother’s soundtrack. I mean, what better gift can you give a kid for Christmas? You might as well give her an album, if that’s what you do for a living. I mean, if I was a designer, I’d make her a mirror-ball dress, but I can’t (laughs) and I would!

GQ: Oh, that’s camp as!

KC: Well, I am the queen of camp! You don’t know that, but that’s true, haha!

GQ: So how did Gypsy like the album?

KC: Oh, she loves it, she absolutely loves it. I think the parts of it that she loves the most are the most quirky, like Santa Baby, and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, the things that have a more … like a danceable quality to them.

GQ: Yeah, true. You also did a duet with Ronan Keating on there too, that’s pretty cool!

KC: (quietly) Ronan Keating is gorgeous. He is so handsome … He absolutely, in every way, is just everything that a great pop star should be. He’s cute, he’s a clever musician. He wrote that song, actually. Even if you thought he was this … cos he’s quite young, you know, some middle-aged sort of Mumsy thingy, you know, he never made me feel that way. He made me feel like I was just stunning, and that’s nice.

GQ: Another thing with this album is that it’s the first time you’ve worked with Chong Lim for a while too ..

KC: Yeah, since Dancing With The Stars days. We kind of met up on that show, which, to me, was … you were telling me about your Maori background before, the chap I was dancing with, John-Paul, he’s this big, beautiful Maori guy, and I have to say, the producer who put that show together gave me the greatest thrill of my life, because, not only was I able to dance like … you know, when you do ballroom dancing, the male partners are usually quite petite, not very tall, but if you’re a big buxom girl like me, and you want to get swung around, it doesn’t feel right. You know what I’m saying? You want someone you can really hang onto. And John-Paul was really great, because he was very strapping, covered in tats, and really quite, you know … and yet, still so very feminine and romantic, and gentle, oh, gentle as!

GQ: That’s what I love about Maoris, they can seem imposing, but they’re really just gentle giants for the most part.

KC: Oh, definitely. I just loved my time on the show, I adored it. I felt like a Pedro Almodóvar character, his portrayals of women are my favourite in any feature films. In fact, Penélope Cruz is one actress he used to use all the time, and she’s just my living icon, I worship her, she’s absolutely stunning. So, having that experience, to me, was like having this precious jewel, and, in doing the Christmas album with him just added to the whole fantasy, cos he lets me be really quirky and, you know … actually, recording it, I was thinking “now, what would Penélope Cruz do?” You know, what would a woman like that do, someone who’s just singing a Christmas traditional thing, you know, but I didn’t want to make it too daggy, I wanted to make it a bit quirky.

GQ: Well, it makes it easier listening then anyhow.

KC: Well, I think so. Also, it makes it so that people can sing along. If a child wanted to learn the lyrics, you’ve got to keep it clear. I mean, even my own daughter, she’s 6, and she’s not able to get all the words, but she’s able to get the simple ones, like “you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, I’m telling you why”, she’s got all those words, but if the verses go on, and you get a bit tricky with it, she just gets lost. So yeah, it’s nice for the kids.

GQ: What’s been your most memorable Christmas so far?

KC: (thinks about it for a few seconds) God, I don’t know, but I’d say the ones I remember the most, the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that were spent in our family house in Lime Avenue because of the … I think I’m really nostalgic, cos I didn’t like it when my family all moved out. I thought we all should have just stayed together, I didn’t understand why we all had to move out. I mean, you know how most teenagers are busting to move out? I wasn’t, and I didn’t really want anyone else to move out either. I wanted us to just stay in this little family pod forever. And so, to me, the memory of being there, with all of my family as a unit, was the safest, and seemed to be the most important years of my Christmas life. Now we’ve got it again, cos all the family are back living in Melbourne again, and all my siblings have husbands and wives, and babies, and bits and pieces. You know, everyone’s kind of in and around, and I dunno, I’m really nostalgic about that sort of thing.

GQ: That’s a good thing, I think. Christmas SHOULD be all about family. What are you doing for Christmas this year?

KC: I’m going to be here in Melbourne, so I’ve gone with a big Mexican fiesta theme this year, so we’ve got a big Santa Claus piñata, which the kids will go berserk over. So yeah, just generally be like the hub of the whole scene for the family, they’re all going to come over and drop in and out all day, but I’m basically going to be the big fat mamma who sits there going “come-a, come-a”, haha. That’s going to be my style.

GQ: Haha! Sounds like a great time! Well, getting back to the music, when I was growing up, of course, I remember hearing your songs like “Bedroom Eyes” …

KC: Now, you definitely look too young to remember those songs …

GQ: I’m 28!

KC: You’re a baby, see? Who knew those songs?

GQ: “Bedroom Eyes” was awesome!

KC: Oh thank you, but you’re such a baby! How do you know those songs?!?

GQ: Haha! And “Pash” …

KC: Yeah, that was a little later on. I’m glad you remember them.

GQ: Well, what I was going to ask was is that a style you’d be returning to?

KC: I certainly hope, that would be awesome. I’d want to get some sort of outrageously innovative dance thing going, cos dance is my first love. My first band, I’m Talking, was one of the first dance bands in Australia, actually. The early stuff was … it was probably a lot like … Sneaky Sound System reminds me of them in atmosphere. Not because we were like them, but we were the first ones to introduce disco to Australia. Anyhow, we were travelling, and that was like my first gig, and we were trying to create chic. So yeah, that’s something I’d love to get back to. I want to do something really outrageous, like a full disco band, live, full-on band, like horns and disco strings and lots of thighs and sweaty boobs, big biceps, muscles … hahaha! That would be a pleasure …

GQ: Hahahahaha! Sounds like Mardi Gras! Actually, speaking of Mardi Gras …

KC: Have I done Mardi Gras? Yeeeeeeeees … no, I haven’t. Well, I have done it once or twice.

GQ: Haha. I was actually thinking of gay audiences, and I’ve asked a few people this question, but I want your opinion. Do you see a difference between your straight audiences at gigs, compared to your gay audience?

KC: Well, my gay audience is just the most vocal, the most appreciative … I don’t know why, I guess it’s just their freedom to express their love of art. I often think our culture doesn’t know how to do that, generally. So, to me, it’s wonderful that you have your emotions so close to the surface, because that’s what music hits at, and that’s what we rely on as artists, we rely on that instant feel, and it’s irresistible, and, you know, I rely on that. I’ve got some great friends that I work with who are artists, especially in fashion and hair, and I would trust their opinion more, because they’re so involved in art, they just have a better viewpoint about it. I mean, I hate to generalise, but that’s the truth.

GQ: True. Well, I think we’re just about out of time, but one last question: do you have a message for our readers?

KC: Just enjoy your Christmas, have a safe Christmas, and look after yourselves … and see you at Mardi Gras next year, haha! Yeah, I’ll have to get a dance album out before then, haha!

GQ: Do something like what Sheena Easton did. She released an album called Fabulous, and it was an album of covers of disco classics, like Never Can Say Goodbye …

KC: Really? Oh, Sheena Easton rocks! Well, the other night, we pulled out I Will Survive, you know, just as a bit of a shit-stir, and, you know, I fucking ripped it up! I tore it a new one, I’m telling ya! Oh, I was just … isn’t that an amazing song? What I need to do is get those sorts of songs, which are the best-written songs and get you in that emotional place, and get you from the first chord to the very end, and they don’t stop, they work you the whole way through. I need songwriters to write songs like that. I would love to go to America, and find the author of that song, and be like “Write me another one”, haha!

#Kate Ceberano #GenQ #Gay

0 notes

photomaniacs · 7 years

Photo

An Interview with Photographer Richard McLaren http://ift.tt/2vp7qVk

What do President Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Tina Turner, Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pierce Brosnan, Jon Bon Jovi, Marc Anthony, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Orlando Bloom, Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger have in common? The magical lens of Richard McLaren has captured them all. And this is only a small sampling of famous people who McLaren has photographed in his four decades in the industry.

McLaren, who had already been around the world twice by age 18, has photographed for top publications throughout the globe, including Vogue, InStyle, GQ, Vanity Fair, Elle, Rolling Stone, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Esquire and more. NASCAR, Ford, The National Guard, Chevrolet, Gulfstream, Rolls Royce, and Sketchers are some of the commercial clients who have also relied on McLaren’s artistry.

Movie studios trust McLaren. When he is provided access to the talent for a day, he tends to do 15 to 20 different set-ups, which means a lot of really fast shooting. This allows the studio to have enough material to send out and promote the movie.

Pierce Brosnan

Phil Mistry: How long have you worked in photography?

Richard McLaren: I have been taking pictures for 35 years, closer to 40 years.

How did you get started?

I started my career when I was about 16 or 17 when I had come out of school and went into work for Scope Features, a photo print news agency which had all the top photographers in London, England on their books. So I used to assist them, all over the world on different assignments from music to fashion to advertising campaigns. I stayed at this agency for about seven or eight years and became a freelance photographer after that.

Heath Ledger

What brought you from London to Los Angeles?

I used to shoot all big-name celebrities. I used to come to America with my photo team and my wife and kids, and we rented a house in Beverly Hills. We used to spend six months in the year in Los Angeles. We would work five-six weeks at a time and then come back after about a month. And then I thought we might as well move here. So in January 2000, I moved the whole family to Los Angeles.

So were you into photography in school?

Oh, yeah. In school, we used to shoot 16mm documentaries, and there was a film club at school.

I have heard that your first job involved putting oil on naked ladies. Is that true?

As I mentioned earlier, I was 16 when I joined the agency in London. There was a studio attached to the agency, and there was one photographer who did all the glamor shots. On my first day, he asked me to rub oil onto naked ladies.

At home that evening my mother asked me how my first day at the job was. I said, “Great, I rubbed oil on two naked ladies, ” and she said, “You’re not going back there tomorrow.” And my brothers said, “Oh, we’ll go in there for you.” My mother is now 96, God bless her, and if I mention it, she still remembers the story and laughs over it.

Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth together after 23 years

In 2006 David Lee Roth and the Van Halen brothers, two icons of the music industry reunited, and you witnessed it?

Yes, David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen’s hadn’t seen each other for 23 years [since disbanding after their classic 1984 album]. When I turned up, Eddie Van Halen was getting his makeup done, and David Lee Roth’s walked by and they looked at each other and sort of nodded. I told my assistant, “Give me the camera,” as they may have a fight. And then Van Halen said to me, “I would like to do a picture with David?”

The picture of the two of them together that I did ran in Rolling Stone [on the website], and I got thousands upon thousands of hits and turned out to be a historical picture. But then something interesting happened. We shot on a Wednesday, and his manager called me on Friday and asked me not to release the pictures as Van Halen was going into rehab. So the pictures just appeared on the Rolling Stone site.

Tina Turner

Tina Turner did not know how to swim. How did you get her to go into the pool chest deep?

Her manager knew that I could do just one shoot and get them a ton of publicity. Tina had an infinity pool in the south of France, and yes she couldn’t swim, but I managed to get her in the water. It was a funny shoot as I didn’t bring any swimwear with me and I was in the pool in my underpants. My guys were holding the lights in the water, and I was shooting on a 4 x 5 film camera. She was terrified of the water, and one of my assistants was underwater holding her legs.

It worked out to be a very successful picture as we got 40 or 50 covers from the selected frame. I was very into doing pictures that would cause a stir, get a lot of attention and generate publicity—and that was what I was known for.

Jean-Claude Van Damme

How did you get Jean-Claude Van Damme to strip naked and pose with lions?

He was out in South Africa doing a movie, and his manager asked me if I would go out there and do a shoot. My friend has a lion farm in South Africa, and I organized some lion cubs. Ultimately Van Damme, who had a great body and loved himself, was naked and holding up two cubs by the scruff of their necks and that picture ran around the world to promote the movie.

Can things go wrong with celebrities and lions?

They were only lion cubs. However, things went wrong in a different way. I asked a Dubai sheik whether I could shoot in his suite at the hotel in South Africa and he agreed. We shot with six lion cubs, and they ended up ripping the cushions and furniture in the $25,000-per-night suite!

Andrew Zimmern Bizarre Foods poster

Andrew Zimmern Bizarre Foods shoot

Any other disasters ever happened on your shoots?

Sure… I was shooting photos for Paulina Rubio, the Latin singer and actress. It was for a shoe company, and I had pictured her naked on a horse with just her shoes. The daylight studio that the client chose was four floors up, so we got the horse in the freight elevator. The horse wasn’t scared but as soon as we got in the studio he did the biggest pee and it stank. Yes, we had to spend 30 minutes mopping it all up before we could continue.

The picture went up in Mexico City on a huge billboard. However, they had to take it down in 24 hours as numerous drivers kept staring at the poster and crashed their cars!

Nelson Mandela

How did you end up shooting Nelson Mandela?

I was shooting the Miss World pageant in South Africa when I met an associate of Mandela and requested her for an opportunity. There were 78 photography applications before me and I did not have much hope but then two days later she called me and asked to come over the next day.

It was the only time I’ve been nervous on a shoot and I have been with some of the most prestigious people in the world. Understanding what he had gone through, it was the pinnacle of my career.

Desmond Tutu

And Desmond Tutu?

At the same time that I was photographing Mandela, Desmond Tutu was scheduled to retire. The day he retired I got to go to the church, see him pray and did a series of portraits.

And you shot Winnie Mandela as well?

Yes, and also on the same trip without Mandela knowing, I photographed Winnie Mandela as well in Soweto. So I actually shot three iconic people in South Africa on a single trip.

National Guard

What’s in your camera bag?

Digital now although I am a film man, a pure film man! I’ve got 28 boxes of film cameras from 35mm, 645, 66, 67, 4×5, 8×10, whatever, I’ve got basically everything. But now, nobody wants film as such, which is a shame. I am a Canon man and I also shoot digital H2 Hasselblad as well with the IQ digital backs.

The problem with the digital cameras is that they are so d*mn sharp so that if you are shooting anyone older than 15, they look terrible because they show every line and every flaw in your skin. And you have to end up softening everything down. And when you have a big 27-inch preview monitor they say, “Do I look that bad?”

Gulfstream

In the film days, I had certain cameras and lenses that were soft with different qualities. I was then able to use the camera that would work correctly for the person I was shooting. But nowadays you don’t have an option, as the digital cameras are so sharp that they are scary.

I recently shot a veteran singer-songwriter who’s has had a career of 50 years. When the pictures come on the 40-inch monitor, whoa, you see every sore, every vein, everything. These are not the most flattering of cameras but clients like these cameras because they got great quality as you can do a postcard or put it on the side of the hotel and it still looks beautiful. I don’t particularly like it, I think they are too sharp, they are too critical but you have to deliver what the clients want.

But I got this beauty software, which is fantastic, as clients love the way it makes them look.

Colin Farrell

Can you make anybody look beautiful?

My forte in photography is lighting. I always make people look beautiful.

The problem with digital now is that you don’t have to be technically fantastic or brilliant or even good because you got all these computer experts that can tweak and change the color, soften it, make it look flattering on the skin or whatever.

Heather Graham, Polaroid Transfer

In the film days, you just got [the film] processed and that was WHAT IT WAS. Now you can pull a recipe on the computer so that when you shoot a picture, it comes in the way you wanted it to look. At the end of the day, it’s the end result that matters not what came out of the camera.

It’s [beauty software] amazing software for men or women. You can change the noses, you can change the lips, and you can change the eyes. You don’t have to have a retoucher with you anymore as you can just run this software, which takes roughly 3 minutes to work.

Emirates Airline, HQ Building, Dubai

Your Emirates image landed up covering the complete side of a building at the airport. Did you have to shoot it in a particular way, so that it could be enlarged this big?

No, we just shot that on the Hasselblad and they enlarged it to something crazy like 240 feet high. It ended up being the biggest Billboard ever done in Dubai

Do your photos get used without permission?

My photos go directly to the clients or magazines. But after they have used it they do end up on the Internet and there is not much you can do about it, whether they have scanned it from a magazine or whatever.

Dance Moms

Have you ever sued for unauthorized use?

No. But back in London, many years ago, there was a company I did shoot for and they were published in Esquire and someone scanned the images and was selling in a record store. Esquire went to court after them but then that company just closed down. So you end up spending 30 grand and get nothing. It may work out for big companies but for me, it doesn’t make sense as it costs thousands of dollars and you may not get any money back.

Patrick Swayze

When you photographed Patrick Swayze dancing in Pinewood Studios, a paparazzi shooter got the photos published before you could even process the film. How did that feel?

That shoot was actually at an airport hangar in Santa Monica and was for Mondo Uomo in Italy. I never saw any other photographer there but he must have been shooting from far with a 400-600mm lens and the next day the photos appeared in one of those rag magazines. The editor called me to protest but that was the only time it happened to me, after which I have been much more on the ball. If I have done big names, I have had security.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony got together for the first time for their album in a Miami house by the ocean. Paparazzi were coming by in boats but I just had a 12 feet high black curtain put around the location. If you are going to shoot near a public beach where paparazzi are going to be there, they are going to find you but you have to be alert.

Marc Anthony

Celebrities like Beyoncé are taking their own pictures and posting them to Instagram. Is this cutting out the professional photographer?

No. Social media has made it easier for celebrities to post pictures but they still need great photographers to shoot great photos.

How limited are the limited-edition prints you are selling on your site?

I’m doing 20×30 inch prints in an edition of 20 prints at the moment. I will see how the interest is and then maybe release another edition in a different size, like 30×40 or 16×20 inches.

Emirates Airline’s A319 private jet charter fleet, Dubai

Do you still shoot in anything other than digital?

Yes, I do personal projects. I do portraits on wet-plate collodion [invented in 1851] on 16×20 inch cameras with brass lenses. I take the photos on black glass or aluminum and the photos are incredible. I love shooting on large format cameras like Linhof but nobody wants it anymore, which is a shame.

Recently you have been directing videos. How does it feel not to be behind the camera yourself?

I love shooting motion and I have got into it because the cameras we use are capable of shooting it now, so it’s opened up the business for the photographer. I like directing and I operate the camera as well, so I can do all basically. We do TV poster shoots for shows and nine times out of ten the client will ask for a video as well. And it works out cheaper for the client, as they don’t have to bring in different crews for stills and motion.

NASCAR drivers at Daytona

What cameras are you using to shoot video?

We shoot on the RED, ARRI Alexa and the Canons. When we shot the Emirates Airlines commercial, we shot the Canon on 4K and the quality is beautiful.

Do you pull stills from your 4K videos?

I don’t because I prefer to shoot stills with my still cameras unless it’s something you can’t get on your still camera. When you have someone running towards you, there is a greater chance of getting a perfect frame at 24 fps than with just 10 fps on a still camera.

Eva Mendes

What lighting do you use?

Profoto. That’s what I like. I’ll shoot Broncolor. I’ll shoot whatever is available but my go to is Profoto.

And what lighting do you use for videos?

We’ll just bring HMIs although we shoot a lot of daylight videos as well.

Emirates Airlines

Between still and video how much equipment do you have to carry to a shoot?

For the Emirates Airlines campaign, I took 3 tons of equipment to Dubai: 6 huge flat cases with the lighting, 12 camera cases and probably 10 bags of accessories. There were 80 people on the shoot that lasted for 12 days. I had 40 models, 7 assistants, 1 digital tech, hair and makeup stylists, art directors and ad agency people from Holland, clients, crew and local runners.

I shot 30 print campaigns and four motion commercials. And earlier it took 2 hours to clear all that equipment through customs at 1 AM in the morning at Dubai airport!

Pamela Anderson

You have said that photography is 90% personality and 10% photography. What do you mean?

For me it is. I’m not blowing my own trumpet but I feel I have a very good personality and can really converse with people whatever they are, homeless individuals or kings and queens. Sometimes I have a DJ on set to get a great atmosphere going and relax everybody.

I know a lot of creative directors who work with photographers who won’t say anything during a shoot. They will let the creative director direct and they will just press the button. Now I can’t do that, as I like to be in control of how the shot is going to look. Working with the creative director is very important but once the creative director starts talking they lose respect for the photographer because the photographer is letting someone else take control of the shoot.

I like to speak to the celebrity and tell them what we are trying to achieve. I will let them come and look at the monitor to review the images because most of them are very insecure. They are great in front of the motion camera but when they get in front of the still camera, there’s not too many of them comfortable to be there. So I try to make it fun for them to be there and get them in and out of the studio or location as quickly as possible and do what’s needed and not overshoot.

National Guard

You have said that you would like to shoot Nicole Kidman in Antarctica. Why Antarctica?

I love shooting in offbeat places. Celebrities are always shot in the studio or their beautiful homes, but rarely in great locations. If you look at the great photographs of movie stars from the 50s and 60s, there’s a jazz photographer called William Claxton. He did great images of Steve McQueen in various situations and you just don’t see those kinds of images anymore.

The pictures that are shot now are very safe, very easy and just what the magazine wants. I just think Nicole Kidman in Antarctica would be incredible, maybe fishing through a hole in the ice or something.

Jenny McCarthy

What attracts you about the photos of Stephen Klein and Peter Lindbergh?

Oh yeah, I love their stuff especially Klein’s work for Italian Vogue. I love the classic photographers, including Richard Avedon, Irving Penn and Patrick Demarchelier. I’ve got probably 350 photography books from pinhole to modern day. Film was tough to shoot on, mostly black-and-white film. Color is easy but when you shoot black-and-white, you got to know your tones to get a great image.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Your black-and-white portrait of Gwyneth Paltrow is high in contrast with the middle tones washed out. Do you like that kind of tonality?

My best medium is black-and-white. Back in the day, there used to be six grades of printing paper from 0 to 5. I would always print on grade 5 so that the blacks were black and the whites were white and there were no gray tones. I got all my black-and-white prints hanging up in my house and all of them are printed real contrasty: jet-black blacks and white whites, there are no mid tones or grays in them at all. That’s how I like my black and whites.

How did you get the assignment on the book China: The New Long March?

A book publisher in Australia asked me if I would shoot for the book on China. They work with Chinese photographers and I was the only photographer from outside China. It was about re-tracing Mao Zedong’s long march. I don’t exactly remember but this book was the 75th year of the Long March. Each photographer had a section of China to shoot and I was in Chengdu and went up to the snow mountain.

Barry Manilow

What’s on your bucket list?

I want to travel more. I want to go to different parts of the world. There is an Indian festival called Holi where all the colorful powder is thrown over everybody. I love to go off and do these adventurous things. Maybe photograph Queen Elizabeth II!

Would that make you nervous?

No, no. I got nervous with only Mandela because he’s one of the biggest icons in the world. That’s the only time in my career that I’ve ever been nervous. You have protocols to follow and how you address her and that’s a bit nerve-racking, but the photography side wouldn’t bother me at all and I’m sure I’d make her look beautiful.

John Hurt

How did you get Halle Barry to do that risqué pose for the magazine covers?

It might have been for the X-Men movie that she was in. She was known in America but not really in Europe. This was for the FHM (For Him Magazine) and I talked to her manager and said I want to shoot her naked because I want to create a stir. And that shot went on to 22 FHM covers around the world. And it helped her get recognized in Europe!

How do you get celebrities to trust you?

The press representatives usually know who the photographers are and so do the celebrities. It’s easier now with digital as they come and look at the monitor and see the picture the instant you click the camera. I always make sure that the first picture is a beautiful, beautiful image and straightaway you have them in your pocket and they trust you.

Lagoon Jewels

Should photographers have an agent?

I’ve never really had an agent in the past. My ex-wife used to run my business and when we split up, I did my own thing. I go from jump to jump by word of mouth. I took on, Joanna Flores as my agent recently.

The problem with agents is that photographers rely on them to get work. When I’m not working, I’m in my office with my staff looking for a job and what the next thing is to do. Right now I have reached out to Air New Zealand, cruise ships including P&O Cruises, Discover Ireland, Alaska Airlines, Visit Britain and something very dear to my heart The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Kenya.

Doobie Brothers

Have you shot covers of magazines in the US?

I’ve done a couple of covers in America but the most of my covers when I used to shoot for them are European publications as they are more risqué. I can do nudes on the cover of German GQ and that’s acceptable. With the European magazines, they’re not so set in what they want whereas here if you shoot for Cosmopolitan, it has to be on a white background or a yellow background, the lighting has to be the same, etc. So every cover looks the same just that it has a different person. This is boring to me.

Linda Evangalista

How has celebrity photography changed in the last 35 years that you have been in it?

I think social media is hurting it a lot. The celebrities can now shoot their own pictures. If Ronaldo comes out with a new soccer boot and puts it up on his Facebook page, he gets 3 million hits or whatever! Social media has changed the way the celebrity thing works now which never used to be the case when I was actively shooting. Now with iPhones, it is more accessible for everybody. The paparazzi are videoing the celebrities and then it’s all over online.

Do you think still shooting will go away and everything will be on video?

No, there will always be a need for [still] photography in some sort.

Do you use social media to get work?

I’m not into social media. If you look at my Facebook page, I got about a thousand followers. I don’t really care about social media. I do it because my daughters ask me to. My office posts stuff. I’m not bothered about it. It doesn’t make or break me, and it doesn’t get me work. A lot of people rely on it to get work, but I don’t think it’s going to get me one job. I can use social media to say this is what I’ve recently done if you want to look at it.

Brush Company

Do you shoot selfies with celebrities?

No, never. I don’t have one picture of me with a celebrity. Not my scene. If a celebrity wants to do a picture with me, I do it. I don’t like having my pictures taken. I don’t think I look great in pictures.

Magazines are folding up, and in 10 years there might be very few left. How will that work for you?

In 10 years there won’t be any [printed] magazines. Everything will be online. I get 50 magazines delivered to me every month. It’s nice to flip through them, and you don’t get that same feeling when you do it online. I like to rip pages out and reference them, so I hope magazines never go away.

Jeff Gordon

So if you hadn’t made it as a photographer what would you have done?

A racecar driver! I don’t know, maybe because of the McLaren [British sports/racing car] name or whatever it was, but I always wanted to be a racing driver of some sort. That was my dream, and then I stumbled into photography by sheer chance. But I am a fanatical Formula 1 and motorsport fan and would have loved to be a racing driver.

Brooke Shields

You have been shooting for almost 40 years. Does the word retirement ever cross your mind?

No, not at all. I love the business too much. Every day I wake up I kick myself because I can’t believe I am in the business I am in. I get to travel the world extensively, and meet great people, from Nelson Mandela to Tina Turner to aborigines in Australia. I have an amazing life, and I am just a boy from London from a working-class family. You couldn’t even get these experiences if you are willing to pay for them. I feel I am blessed in life and it couldn’t be any better. Even now I get excited as every day you don’t know what you’re going to do next.

You can follow Richard McLaren and see more of his work on his website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Vimeo.

About the author: Phil Mistry is a photographer and teacher based in Atlanta, GA. He started one of the first digital camera classes in New York City at International Center of Photography in the 90s. He was the director and teacher for Sony/Popular Photography magazine’s Digital Days Workshops. You can reach him via email here.

Go to Source Author: <a href="http://ift.tt/2rSvwoU Mistry</a> If you’d like us to remove any content please send us a message here CHECK OUT THE TOP SELLING CAMERAS!

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August 04, 2017 at 10:02PM

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Here’s a Two-Part and No-Fuss Plan to Fix Air-Travel Hell

Delta Air Lines passengers wait for check-in at the airport. Recently, one high-profile Delta customer complained the airline moved her from a preferred seat she paid for. Bloomberg News

Skift Take: Here's just one problem with banning airlines from changing a passenger's seat. Planes break sometimes, and airlines will often use a replacement. The new airplane may, or may not, have the same seat available. What should an airline do if it can't give a passenger the same seat? Cancel the flight?

— Brian Sumers

I rise in defense of Ann Coulter.

Well, okay, not exactly. The conservative firebrand’s “I hate Delta” Twitter tantrum over the weekend, after she was moved from an extra-legroom aisle seat she had booked and paid for, was unquestionably over the top. For ugly starters, she tweeted out (to her 1.6 million followers!) a snapshot of the woman who took “her” seat, a woman who had really done nothing wrong.

She hurled insults at Delta employees.

She dug up examples of other poorly-treated Delta passengers.

And when Delta hit back, noting that she still wound up in an extra-legroom seat (though a window, not an aisle), offered to refund her $30, and described her tweets as “derogatory,” “slanderous” and “unacceptable,” Coulter went back on the offensive, as is her wont.

So no, I’m not going to excuse the provocations of a professional provocateur. But I also couldn’t read her outraged tweets without thinking about the many times I’ve PREBOOKED AND PAID (as Coulter would put it) for tickets, only to arrive at the airport and discover that the seats I thought I had bought were not locked in after all, and that I would have to get a new seat assignment when I got to the gate.

Which, of course, meant waiting until virtually everyone else had boarded the plane (no room for your overhead luggage!), and worrying about whether the whole family would be able to sit together, and finally getting stuck in a middle seat in windowless row in the back with a stiff-backed seat—all the things I had been trying to avoid by PREBOOKING AND PAYING in advance.

Almost everyone who flies has similar stories, and many have experienced far worse. People get mad when that happens, and you can’t blame them. And their anger is too often aggravated by the refusal of the airline’s employees to at least explain why you’ve lost the seat you thought you had bought.

I am convinced, though, that this fairly common problem has a fairly straightforward fix. It requires two things. The first is government regulation. (Sorry, Ms. Coulter.) The second requirement is that the airlines need to start thinking about their seats in a different way—the way we passengers think about them. My fix, by the way, will also solve a secondary problem, overbooking. We’ll get to that shortly.

Have you ever read an airline’s contract of carriage—that is, the contract its passengers agree to when they buy a ticket? Here is the pertinent portion of United’s:

Seat assignments, regardless of class of service, are not guaranteed and are subject to change without notice. UA reserves the right to reseat a Passenger for any reason, including from an Economy Plus seat for which the applicable fee has been paid …

In other words, the airlines’ fine print—and they all have similar provisions—says that the purchase of a ticket doesn’t give a passenger the right to a particular seat, no matter how much he or she paid for it. They can move someone because there is a medical issue, or because they need to redistribute the weight on the plane—neither of which happens very often—or just, you know, because.

“United at one point was notorious for changing a passenger’s seat assignment if one of its Global Service members wanted to sit in that seat,” says Henry Harteveldt, a travel industry expert who is a principal at Atmosphere Research. When I asked him why the industry would take a position that would seem so contrary to even the most elemental idea of customer service, he replied that the airlines don’t see themselves as being in the customer service business. “They want to be thought of as being in the transportation business,” he said. We, the customers, are essentially cargo.

The only way the airlines will ever change the language on their contract of carriage—and more importantly, their attitude that a seat assignment is more a hope than a promise—is if the Department of Transportation forces them to change it. The government should institute a rule saying that a ticket should not only get you the flight you chose but also the seat you chose.

What’s more, choosing a seat has to be a part of buying a ticket, so that no one gets to the airport without a seat assignment. That’s the way every other business that relies on ticket sales works—be it a baseball game or a concert—and there is no reason it shouldn’t be the same with an airline ticket.

Now, it obviously won’t work to have passengers getting their seat assignments in advance if they can then miss or skip flights with impunity. Some people would undoubtedly game the system by booking multiple flights and then choosing the most convenient one at the last minute. And even if that doesn’t happen, when people miss flights that means empty seats for the airlines, which means lost revenue. Indeed, airlines overbook because they know that on almost every flight a handful of people who have bought tickets won’t show up. It’s a technique for maximizing revenue.

So the third part of my plan is to eliminate both refundable tickets and those “nonrefundable” tickets that you can actually refund for a small penalty (which is the majority of ticket purchases). Yes, airlines have long had a policy of issuing vouchers when passengers cancel or miss a flight, but it’s counterproductive if your goal is to make seat purchasing more rational.

Just as the passengers should be able to count on getting the seat they’ve bought, the airlines should be able to count on the revenue produced when that seat is booked. Again, if you buy virtually any other kind of ticket, and for some reason you don’t wind up using it, nobody is going to give you your money back, or hand you a voucher to use some other time. The world doesn’t work that way.

In any case, there is a better solution than vouchers—and it is the final element of my plan. People’s plans do change, of course—all the time. But when circumstances arise that cause someone to miss, say, a baseball game, they can sell their ticket on the secondary market. There is no reason that wouldn’t work with an airline ticket. A robust secondary market for airline tickets would be a saner way to deal with people changing their plans than vouchers, exorbitant change fees, or overbooking.

Why doesn’t such a market exist? Mainly because the airlines hate the idea. Both Harteveldt and Joe Brancatelli, another travel expert who runs the website “Joe Sent Me,” told me that there have been, from time to time, efforts to start up a secondary market in the U.S. that have gone nowhere. But if the airlines are worried about losing the incremental revenue when a ticket bought a month before a flight for $200 gets sold three days before the flight for $500, there is a solution for that too: the airlines could run the secondary market themselves, and pocket a portion of the differential. That’s what baseball teams do, quite successfully.

Would there be complications to my plan that would need to be ironed out? No doubt. Any secondary market would have to adapt to the needs of the Department of Homeland Security, which would want to be sure that the people boarding the plane had their names on the ticket. The airlines would undoubtedly resist. There would still be times when an emergency would require someone to give up a seat he or she had bought. The new rules would have to take all that into account.

But such changes would be minimized. Passengers would have the certainty that they have a right to expect when they buy a ticket. And once everyone boarding a plane is guaranteed the seat of their choice, overbooking would end. After all, even the airlines aren’t so clever that they can sell the same seat on the same flight to two different people.

I wish I could say the airlines were moving in this direction, but they are doing just the opposite. Last week, Bloomberg’s Nikki Ekstein wrote a story about a new plan at United called “Flex-Schedule Program.” Part of the idea, it appears, is to be able to persuade people with lower-priced tickets to give up their seats—well in advance of the flight—to people who want to buy the same seat at a higher price. Those who agreed to do so would get a small voucher and a seat on a less desirable flight.

Joe Brancatelli believes that if this goes into effect, it will just be the beginning—that eventually the airlines will not ask people to switch planes, but insist on it. That would be in keeping with all the other changes passengers have seen over the past two decades. It’s exactly the kind of passenger-as-cargo mentality that infuriates customers. If the airlines want to shut up Ann Coulter—and all the rest of us who find air travel so frustrating—they need to change that mentality. Guaranteeing the seat you paid for would be a pretty good place to start.

This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the editorial board or Bloomberg LP and its owners.

Joe Nocera is a Bloomberg View columnist. He has written business columns for Esquire, GQ and the New York Times, and is the former editorial director of Fortune. He is the co-author of “Indentured: The Inside Story of the Rebellion Against the NCAA.”

This article was written by Joe Nocera from Bloomberg and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to [email protected].

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rollinbrigittenv8 · 7 years

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Here’s a Two-Part and No-Fuss Plan to Fix Air-Travel Hell

Delta Air Lines passengers wait for check-in at the airport. Recently, one high-profile Delta customer complained the airline moved her from a preferred seat she paid for. Bloomberg News

— Brian Sumers

I rise in defense of Ann Coulter.

She hurled insults at Delta employees.

She dug up examples of other poorly-treated Delta passengers.

Have you ever read an airline’s contract of carriage—that is, the contract its passengers agree to when they buy a ticket? Here is the pertinent portion of United’s:

This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the editorial board or Bloomberg LP and its owners.

This article was written by Joe Nocera from Bloomberg and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to [email protected].

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russellthornton · 7 years

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Sex with a New Partner: How to Start Your Adventure with a Bang

You’ve made it past the third date or the Tinder matchup, and it’s time, time to have sex with a new partner. So remember, keep these things in mind.

Honestly, most of the time when I have sex with a guy for the first time, I’ll accidentally hit them in the balls or queef – that’s all I can do. Don’t ask me if they ever call me again, you’re evading the point.

Having sex with a new partner is exciting because you want to explore them, however, it’s also terrifying. You’re trying to see if you two sexually connect, while also figuring out what they like and don’t like in bed.

Let’s just say, as fun as it is, it’s also overwhelming. Now, I’m not saying that these tips will get you the best sex, that’s up to you and your partner. But, these tips will help you enjoy the experience and calm you down since you’ll be prepared.

What you should do when having sex with a new partner

Let’s face it – having sex with a new partner is usually not a scene out of a Hollywood movie. We all want it to be, but come on, this is real life. And it can be a little more messy and complicated. But don’t worry, keep these things in mind, and you’ll be just fine. [Read: The 10 big rules of spending the first night together]

#1 Get the hygiene down. You’re going to be rubbing your body against their body, so take an extra five minutes to use some soap and give yourself a good scrub. You’ll be amazed by how people appreciate those that take care of themselves. Have you ever had sex with someone who hasn’t showered in two days? Good, I hope you never have to. It’s traumatic.

#2 You decide how your genitals will look. There’s this battle between having everything completely waxed/shaved and leaving it natural. Whatever you choose, is your choice.

Don’t be swayed because you think it’s socially acceptable. You need to have your genitals look how you want them to look. I had a Brazilian wax once and I hated it, I looked like a naked mole. That being said, this self-consciousness showed in the bedroom. [Read: Trim, shave or natural? The real score on what’s best for the bush]

#3 Wear something that makes you feel sexy. This doesn’t mean, wear something that is sexy. This is purely based on what you think is sexy.

If you feel sexy wearing blue underwear, then wear blue underwear. If you like boxers over briefs, wear the boxers. If you’re wearing something you feel hot in, you’ll show more confidence, and you’ll be more open and relaxed in bed.

#4 Have protection. Whether you’re the man or woman, you should always take responsibility and carry your own protection. You shouldn’t rely on your partner to have protection because, well, there will be moments when they won’t have any. So, carry an extra condom in your wallet or purse at all times.

#5 Choose your beauty standards. You don’t have to have a face full of makeup to have sex with a new partner. You also don’t have to go completely natural either. You decide how you want to look.

You don’t have to wear a nurse outfit to impress your partner or gel your hair back to look straight out of GQ. Who gives a shit. This person is having sex with you, so they obviously find you attractive anyway. Don’t sweat it.

#6 Keep up with communication. You’re not having sex with yourself. You’re having sex with another person. And because there’s two of you, you’re going to have to check-in with them and see if they’re okay.

Ask them if they like what you’re doing, etc. Now, don’t ask all the time or else it gets annoying, but if you’re unsure, ask. [Read: How to have better sex – 13 ways to communicate and change the way you make love]

#7 Don’t expect anything. Don’t expect your first time to be amazing. Don’t expect it to be shitty either. For most of us, it takes us a couple times to understand our partner, what they like, and what they don’t like. So, if there’s a sexual connection between you two, the sex will be good. It just might not be mind-blowing, but, that’ll take time.

#8 Slow and steady. Don’t jump the gun. I mean, if you guys were making out at the club for hours, then I understand. But, if not, take your time and really focus on foreplay.

Explore each other’s bodies, taste each other, and take in every moment. Quickies are all fine and good, but, the real passionate sex is when it’s hot, messy, and sensual. That takes time. [Read: How to foreplay – The key for the best sex of your life]

#9 Laugh off awkward moments. If you accidentally let out a fart, or miss their mouth when you’re trying to kiss them, just play it off. They’re not caring and if anything, if you have a laugh.

It’ll show that you’re not taking it too seriously, and that’ll make you both relaxed. You should always be having a laugh when having sex.

#10 Breathe. You need to take a deep breath and relax. This isn’t some competition, this is sex. You’re supposed to be having fun and enjoying the moment. So, don’t think about the future, like if he/she will want to see you again… who cares? Live in the moment and enjoy their body. [Read: How to be better in bed -16 passionate ways to blow anyone’s mind]

#11 Bring the lube. If you’re a woman, even though you want to have sex, you may be so nervous that you won’t be able to become wet. That being said, you’ll want to carry a small bottle of lube with you in your purse. Also, you don’t know, maybe he’s well-endowed. And in that case, you’ll be praying you brought lube with you.

#12 Don’t focus on the orgasm. Sex is purely psychological. So, you don’t want to focus so much on trying to have an orgasm. That’s not the point of having sex. I mean, of course, it’s great if you have one, but it shouldn’t be your main goal. If you make it the main goal, you’ll lose the moment that you’re sharing with this person.

[Read: First time naked with your lover? The common fears all of us have]

Having sex with a new partner is… well, let’s just say, it’s a lot of fun. But, if you’re finding yourself anxious, just follow these tips and you’ll be able to loosen up and enjoy the moment.

The post Sex with a New Partner: How to Start Your Adventure with a Bang is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

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WORK ETHIC AND GROWTH

It's a cliche to call World War II a contest between good and evil, but between fighter designs, it really was. So even a small increase in the rate at which good ideas win would be a good thing. Bad as things look now, there is no way they can get around that. Essentially, each user should have two delete buttons, ordinary delete and delete-as-spam button then you could also add the from address of every email the user has deleted as ordinary trash. If you're talking to that you have solicited ongoing email from them. Do you suppose Google is only good because they had some business guy whispering in their ears what customers wanted. The political commentators who come up with a random idea, plunge into it, and extraordinary courage came out. Once publishing—giving people copies—becomes the most natural way of distributing your content, it probably doesn't work to stick to old forms of distribution just because you make more that way. Most investors are looking for the next Larry and Sergey. They just talk to investors, you have to seek out questions people didn't even realize were questions.

In practice there are two types of thoughts especially worth avoiding—thoughts like the Nile Perch in the way they push out more interesting ideas. They are all fundamentally subversive for this reason, though they conceal it to varying degrees. If you and they have different views of reality, whether the source of the trouble, but identity. For all practical purposes, succeeding now equals getting bought. I have to risk it, because the structure of VC deals prevents early acquisitions. I don't think this problem is unique to me, because just about every startup I've seen grinds to a halt under the load, which would make them unavailable to the people who would have responded to the spam. There are signs that this is changing. Startups rarely die in mid keystroke. Part of the reason VCs are harsh when negotiating with startups is that they're not ordered. It may take a while, but as the corpus grows such tuning will happen automatically anyway.

They may have to pay that. Ditto for most of the applicants don't seem to have been a rejection. But if it isn't set because you haven't closed anyone yet, and they raised money after Y Combinator at premoney valuations of $4 million and $2. The investors are what make a startup hub. Anyone can build whatever they want on it, and extraordinary courage came out. Fortunately reporters liked us. Others skip phase 1 and go straight to phase 2. Not even investors, who are amazed to find that there is room to tighten the filters if spam gets harder to detect. They're not impressed by one's job title, for example. Clothing is only the most charismatic guy? Over the past several years, the investment community has evolved from a strategy of spraying money at early stage startups and then ruthlessly culling them at the same time using the same paperwork.

The programmers I admire most are not, on the whole tend to increase it. The Defense Department does a fine though expensive job of defending the country, but they love plans and procedures and protocols. If you're not, there's a trick you can use in this situation. Always have some alternative plan for getting started if any given investor says no. From what little I know about Java, there seem to have done as well as Micro-soft. Nerds got computers because they liked them. Investors are emotional. Anyone can build whatever they want on it, and Webgen sounded lame and old-fashioned. Investors don't realize how much it is. Einstein designing refrigerators. They'd have to make a cup of coffee. Gradually it dawned on us that instead of accepting offers greedily, end up leaving that investor out, you're going to be doing things investors don't like.

Companies sending spam often give you a termsheet. Don't sell more than 25% in phase 2 sometimes tack on a few investors after leaving fundraising mode. Both angels and VCs: VCs invest other people's money, and you don't have to send it to them from a local source. Sarbanes-Oxley must have. Indeed, that's practically the definition of bullshit that it's the only one left after the efforts of the two founders was still in grad school, but appeared full length in Newsweek with the word Billionaire printed across his chest. All they need is strongly held beliefs, and anyone can have those. Lewis's industry contacts also include the creative director of GQ. This is clearest in the case of names. Not because they contribute more to the startup, you are in it. But you're so impatient to get started with a few tens of thousands of lines of C or Java. You have two choices: give it away and make money from concerts and t-shirts. Don't keep sucking on the straw if you're just getting air.

You can't afford the time it takes to say it, a person hearing a talk can be a bad thing. Your primary goal should be to get the fastest possible standing quarter mile. Startups rarely die in mid keystroke. He was as good an OS for servers as Solaris. The country is shifting to the left, or the large sums of money. It's a sign they're not really interested. Better to have resolution, one way or the other, as soon as possible. It's hard like lifting a heavy weight, and hard like solving a puzzle. For example, if a backup system doesn't rely on the same trajectory now. And the right strategy, in fundraising, is to have multiple plans depending on how much you plan to raise? VCs seem to operate is to invest in a startup this quarter shows up as Yahoo earnings next quarter—stimulating another round of investments in startups.

Which will tend to bet wrong. The spammers are businessmen. An early stage startup often consists of unglamorous schleps. Otherwise all the minor details left unspecified in the termsheet will be interpreted to your disadvantage. They can be considered in this algorithm by treating them as virtual words. Reading the Wall Street Journal described how TV networks were trying to add more live shows, partly as a way to make viewers watch TV synchronously instead of watching recorded shows when it suited them. Viaweb, but I'd forgotten why I hated it so much. The prospect of technological leverage will of course raise the specter of unemployment. Business is broken the same way. It will be longer on the Internet, and there will be a good idea? We don't know exactly what the future will look like, but I'm thinking this is going to be possible to succeed in a competitive market without outside funding. When you're raising money on uncapped notes, you'll have to guess what the eventual equity round valuation might be.

But increasingly the founders of the company, regardless of how many board seats they have. If this were true, Yahoo would be first in line to buy Suns; but when I worked there, the peer pressure that made you wear a suit and tie to work. And of course the other investors are all competing for the same deals, but the way one anticipates a delicious dinner. Those will on average be better investors. Which means it's a disaster to let the wrong idea become the top idea in your mind. She writes so well you don't even notice her. In a business like theirs, being the best is enough. For example, many of the customers are businesses, who get in trouble if they use pirated versions, and b their growth potential makes it easy to attract such money. Which means you should avoid doing things in earlier rounds that will mess up raising an A round?

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