#I also love Darren Criss a whole fucking lot

[the-words-we-sung]

Discovering Young Royals

So now that I've lurked a bit around the Young Royals fandom I wanna try and be a bit more active ^^ It feels a bit weird to arrive so late because it seems like everything has probably already been said >< So I hope my little thoughts here and there won't just be redundant for fandom people! I've been thinking about it and I think I wanna write my thoughts, and questions and various comments about the show, probably going episode by episode! And I'll add some pretty pictures (I should learn how to make gifs :o)

For tonight though I'll just write up kind of my first thoughts and reactions while watching the show for the first time ^^

ᴥ I'm not proud of admitting it but I started watching the show because I was a bit bored, a bit sick and wanted to kind of "hate-watch" something >< I thought it would be a very elitist kind of show with insufferable royal people! Boy was I wrong...

ᴥ Wilhelm is a cutie pie and made me love the show so much, almost right from the start. His image of angry teenage prince got replaced so fast by just the reality of an anxious (soft) boy, in the span of an episode! His interaction with Simon at the end of episode 1 sealed the deal for me...

ᴥ The show is so so so well made!! It's beautiful and the music is absolutely phenomenal!! All the young actors are incredibly talented (and gosh is Edvin so very good ><) and it's just such a pleasure to watch :o

ᴥ I love love love how "real" it feels!! The actors look the good age for their characters, they look so fucking real, like I 100% believe that these characters are teenagers! I love the choice of not putting lots of make up on them and letting them keep their "real" skin. It's so freaking refreshing!! I don't really know of other shows who do that!! (Also I come from the Glee fandom so: the actors playing teenagers were definitely not looking like teenagers, they all had flawless skins and were ""perfect"" (aka in the beauty standards) looking so having skinny boys and girls with different and real-looking bodies feel so good! Maybe the difference also comes from the fact that Glee was a US show and YR is a Swedish one?)

ᴥ I feel very lucky that I was able to watch season 1 and season 2 back to back! It must have been so hard for you guys to wait for season 2 >< And I'm lucky again that season 3 will probably be there in not too long!

ᴥ August is such a well written character!! A truly interesting "villain" who makes me feel almost some sympathy at times o_o

ᴥ I have very mixed feelings and complicated thoughts about Sara...

ᴥ The chemistry between Edvin and Omar is insane.

ᴥ Yuk Marcus!

ᴥ But all the love for Felice <3

ᴥ And Omar is the prettiest human being ever. I am now officially a fan. (He gives me SO.MUCH gender envy...........)

These were all kind of scattered thoughts going through my head while I binge-watched the show the first time!

(Also it made me want to learn Swedish so I've started doing that on Duolingo and I'm now obsessed with this language xD (But gosh, pronunciation is a nightmare...) So if any Swedish people wanna chat, I need training :p)

Gonna stop there for this freaking long-ass post and keep my rantings and chattiness for another post :D

#young royals #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #omar rudberg #edvin ryding #omar and edvin #personal #just so you guys know #I also love Darren Criss a whole fucking lot #so there will be stuff about him from time to time #apparently I have lots of love for small dark curly haired boys ^^" #my analysis #(mostly my first thoughts #not much analysis happening there :p)

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

tagged by @dangerliesbeforeyou <3 thank you!! ❤ ❤ My taste is absolute trash, and now you're exposing me haha. Don't judge me too hard guys

8 shows/films to get to know me

BBC Merlin

I think this one is obvious lol. It has played such a big role in my life and I'd definitely say it's one of those shows that I'd consider mine. I've become closer to so many people because of it, and have used it to break the ice with a lot of people

2. Friends

Pretty sure I'm sarcastic af purely because of this show. It's really influenced my sense of humour and was honestly a big obsession for me during my teenage years. It's still a big comfort show for me

3. BBC Sherlock (Seasons 1 and 2)

Another big obsession for me. But ONLY series 1 and 2. I was really into the dickhead genius who just wants to be loved trope for a while and after Sherlock wrote a lot of ocs like that lol. But honestly I really loved the cinematography and the way the genius elements were handled (even though people make fun of them now, I think in-universe it was done really well) and I love mysteries, and tbh Sherlock is so aroace coded so that's a plus for me cause I do love my dickhead genius trope

4. The Brendan Brady Cut of Hollyoaks

I think this is cheating because I'm choosing only one storyline of a massive soap but I could only watch that one storyline. But I swear like... firstly, it was one of the first few pieces of television to ever make me cry which is BIG. Secondly, it literally changed my way of thinking about certain things which is also huge, and Brendan is such a fucking nuanced and brilliantly written character like !!!

5. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

I have this movie memorised idk what to tell you. It's so stupid and makes no sense and def has not aged well, but it's one of those movies that defined my childhood

6. Coco

Just changed me as a fucking person and makes me cry every time, and if I write an original script that has the same power and impact of this one film I'll die happy

7. Great Men Academy

Sometimes a show is just weird enough for you to be like... this one is for me. I know they didn't write it for me but it FEELS like they wrote it for me.

8. Drake and Josh

Another show I'm pretty sure made me sarcastic/greatly influenced my sense of humour

9. Glee

I KNOW THE SHOW GOT SHIT, but honestly... first couple of seasons did hit hard. It was really witty and it brought Darren Criss into my life (even though it was A Very Potter Musical that really solidified my crush on him). And tbh, growing up in India when I did, we didn't have a lot of exposure of the concept of homosexuality, especially in a positive light. Like I knew some gay people and my family has always been super accepting, but society as a whole still wasn't accepting, and people would constantly say things about gay people which was a bit ignorant, and I think Glee kinda was the first show with a sympathetic gay lead a lot of us (in my school at least) were exposed to and made us stop repeating a lot of the ignorant shit the generations above us said. Idk, I think it really did play a big part when it came to awareness and exposure and acceptance of a lot of minorities, esp in countries like mine

10. Game of Thrones

It also got shit by the end there, but I've got a lot of memories tied up in that show, I cannot deny that

I'm tagging: @poetryincamelot, @youdontloveme-yet @iplann @arielmagicesi @gunsatthaphan @rapha-reads

#Man this was HARD #about me #BBC Merlin #Friends #Sherlock #GoT #gma #Drake and Josh #Coco #Bollywood #Glee #Hollyoaks #Brendan Brady #kuch kuch hota hai

[golbrocklovely]

How was the show? I'm hoping to live vicariously!

it was a lot of fun, but also kinda sad.

this became so long, my apologies omg

for your viewing pleasure, here's one of the pics i took last night:

so first off, my mom had to be in a wheelchair which is no problem for me. we got there really early and had time to get a decent parking spot. got her up to our seats and they were NOICE. they were on the club level which i didn't know what that meant at the time until we got there. all i know is that i wanted seats where a handicapped person could be in and that's what i got (bc i got presale for the jonas brothers so i was able to get tickets before the public).

the show starts, the opener was a band called lawarence. they were really good. i didn't know who they were but they were a lot of fun and the main girl singer was fantastic. also... darren criss was there too????? he was the special guest with the opener and it was very confusing but a lot of fun and they sung a cover of it's gonna be me. and as a starkid and glee fan, it was so fun to see him omg.

then we had to wait like 20 mins for the jonas brothers to come out. ppl were filing in, the place was packed. this lovely person in my section gave me and mom friendship bracelets, it was adorable.

the lights dim, the show begins. and for almost three hours straight i screamed. i am very surprised i have my entire voice still. must be from all the years of being a jonas brothers fans mixed with listening to emo music lol i guess i just know how to scream without fucking up my vocal chords.

they sung songs that i never even got to see live which was awesome. i got to hear some of my favorites, and some i got to rehear some from when i saw them years ago back in 2009. they are basically doing their own version of an eras tour. and i genuinely mean this, they sung every song (minus a very small few) from five albums. insane.

so to get to the sad part.

if you don't know all the drama that is occurring with joe jonas and his soon to be ex wife sophie turner, i do a bit of break down in this previous ask. the thing is, joe has a song dedicated to his wife from the previous album that they sing every night. at this point i WISH they would just cut the song from the setlist and do literally anything else. bc joe looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there last night. and i dont blame him. he still had some energy, but it was the kinda of energy that screamed yeah, i love my job *rolls eyes* you know? a little melancholic but also dry.

that's not to make him sound like an asshole, he just seemed tired. and i get it and don't fault him for it. bc the vocals were still very much there. and philly brought the fucking LOVE last night. it was so loud at times i thought i was gonna pop an eardrum.

also the thing that made it sad is that, i love the jonas brothers and have always said that they KNOW how to write a damn good love song. i know for sure one of their songs will be my wedding song. but they also know how to punch you in the stomach with a break up song. so some of their old music, being sung now, was kinda ironic in the worse way last night. and i just felt really bad for joe.

other than that, i had fun. everyone at the arena was super nice to me and my mom which hasn't always been the case with her in a wheelchair so 10/10 for that. traffic was a literal fucking nightmare, but i expect nothing less from philly. and we got to drive past my grandparents' old house in south philly for a moment on the way home, so that was kinda sweet.

i would say my favorite songs from the night were walls, take a breath, and strangers. cake by the ocean was also fun bc of all the confetti. all of them looked super hot which is not surprising. even tho i am a nick girl at heart, i was a joe girl for the night bc i just felt for him the whole time. i would give it a solid 7.5/10 for the experience overall. but like a 8.5/10 for the concert alone.

#ask #personal

[d-criss-news]

Nine Songs: Darren Criss

When Disney, Phantom Planet and Mr Hudson collide: Glee star, Emmy and Golden Globe winner and musician Darren Criss talks Andrew Wright through the pivotal songs in his life and the unexpected ways they found him.

“When we are younger, our gateway drugs to a lot of popular things don’t come from the sexiest of places. It’s up to you how proactive you want to be with your curiosity from there, and how far down the rabbit hole you want to go, if you go down at all.”

Choosing the songs that define you is a tricky business to say the least, especially when the power of song has provided an ongoing soundtrack to your life. “When you’re as avid a music consumer as musical artists are, trying to pin down Nine Songs is difficult,” Darren Criss laughs. So much so, his final choices only really crystallise as our conversation draws to its close. “It’s hard for me not to see the value and joy in literally everything,” he explains. “The curse of the creative person is that your ideas and your interests always move way faster than your body can execute.”

Criss is a creative par excellence. As well as his Emmy and Golden Globe winning performance in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, where he played serial killer Andrew Cunanan, to his upcoming role in Muppets Haunted Mansion Halloween special as The Caretaker, he’s also a prolific musician. Criss enjoyed a decadent musical consumption since childhood, so “this was a bit of an archaeological dig,” he admits. As such, everything from jazz standards, to 808s, punk rock, ‘90s teen pop, and musical numbers are excavated in the course of our extemporaneous journey through the music he loves.

Equally on his mind is how to go about approaching the task of creating his Nine Songs, full stop. “The interesting social experiment is: Are my answers going to be songs that actually shaped my life and were formative to me as an artist? Are they songs that were formative to me as a human being? Or am I picking songs that I think represent who I am to people that do not know me? All three of those things aren’t necessarily the same thing.”

He reaches a conclusion of sorts. “For the purposes of making some kind of decision, I’m gonna lean less into trying to look cool to your very cool readership, and more into the literal, ‘What made me think about music in a different way? And hit me in a very emotional way?’ I think that’s probably the healthiest route.”

Embracing the accessibility that characterises Criss’ picks - or at times the initial touchpoints that led him to them - are something he vacillates over during our chat. “I’ve seen a lot of other people’s Nine Songs and they’re super cool. It’s like Leonard Cohen B-sides and old opera records and stuff. I’m gonna be pretty honest with the pop culture zeitgeist of how I grew up but explain why there is so much value in those moments.” His contemplation continues into the next day, Criss’s publicist passes on his regrets at being tentative to admit how he encountered one of his song choices via the Shrek soundtrack.

A yearning to reinterpret accessibility and the value attached to it drives Criss, however. He tells me that a festival performance that applied the anarchic verve of punk rock to a more refined Great American Songbook number remoulded his perception of music entirely. His love of the fusion of these two genres in particular symbolises the salient musical backdrops of his childhood - the guitar bands he played in with friends, and his musical theatre endeavours that led him to Broadway and multiple Ryan Murphy juggernauts, including his breakthrough playing Blaine Anderson in Glee.

Criss employs these contrasting musical lexicons, and other areas in between, on Masquerade, his new EP. Comprising five stand-alone “character-driven” singles, it sees Criss donning different musical personas. “I’m leaning into people that might know me as an actor,” he explains. “Because if actors can do Shakespeare, romantic comedy, and then do a horror movie and wear a prosthetic nose and a wig, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do that with music.” The song “walk of shame” draws on jazz-standard chords interlaced with hip-hop production, “i can’t dance” looks to new-wave, and “for a night like this” is the product of Criss’ goal to create the ultimate end-of-the-night crowd-pleaser for a new-year bash, wedding or bar mitzvah. “This is all of the parts of me as a lifelong fan of these genres, trying my hand at servicing the pieces of them that I love.”

“I really love all styles of music and understanding what makes them unique and special and what makes them really pop. There are so many things that really make things sing - for lack of a better verb - and I like acknowledging those things and celebrating those things.”

“So, let’s begin. I have runners up and shit, and I have artists, I don’t just have the songs, so we might have to pick them as we go.”

“Part of Your World” by Jodi Benson

“When people read this, they’ll go ‘That’s cute, he likes Disney songs’, but it’s more profound than that. Some of the most formative pieces of music to hit me at a very early age would have been any of the songs that were coming from ‘The Disney renaissance.’ The early-mid ‘90s explosion of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Beauty and The Beast.

"One of the through lines between the three of those musicals was Howard Ashman, who is one of my all-time heroes. Dramaturg, songwriter - he really was the voice behind what made those songs great. I have always loved Howard’s lyrical sensibility and also Alan Menken, his partner who wrote these songs with him. There was a musical structure to a lot of the songs which I would unconsciously pick up in my own songwriting, not just musically, but the idea that not only did somebody make these songs, but they wrote them for a story.

“There’s a clip of Howard Ashman vocal directing Jodi Benson, who was the original voice of Ariel. It’s a wonderful example of his genius, where not only was he songwriting but he was storytelling in the way he would tell her how to perform it, and you can really see the song coming to life in that clip. That’s when you cross the street from ‘It’s a song’ to ‘This is an experience.’

"There are certain ingredients that are required to elevate music that goes beyond just a nice melody, a beautiful orchestration and a good voice. There are things that are required to really give a performance a characterisation, context and a vulnerability, that he architects in real-time with Jodi Benson. You see that what he’s doing is what makes the record so special, and that’s something that’s always been inspiring to me.”

“MMMBop” by Hanson

“I think my love of Hanson was because some people didn’t like it, so I was like ‘Fuck you, I like this, how do you feel about it?’ But this is difficult for me, because you know, I’m speaking to The Line of Best Fit and we’re trying to be cool! Although, do you know what’s cool? Being accessible! Writing a pop hit when you are 10 years old. Being in a band with your brothers and you’re all below the age of 15, you have a record contract where you are writing, producing and performing songs that are doing well.

“I was 10 years old when their first album Middle of Nowhere came out, and I remember reading somewhere that there were these kids that had a record. At the time, I was playing guitar and I was writing songs, but in my mind I was a kid, and that was it. I couldn’t be on the radio; you had to be a grown up to do this.

"This was the first time where I realised ‘Holy shit, kids can do stuff!’ It’s the value of seeing yourself in the media - that’s a whole other conversation to talk about - but there’s an immense value in feeling like there’s a piece of you out in the zeitgeist and doing well because it’s encouraging. You go, ‘Holy shit, maybe I can do this as well.'

“When you see children doing things, you’re ‘Wow, this is so cute and fabulous’, but then when you actually look at it you go, ‘This is miles above what most people in this age group are capable of,’ and that’s all I saw, because I was in the same age group and I was so inspired by that. This whole album was really a turning point for me, where I was like, ‘I can do this, I can do music too, because these guys can.'

“Ooh La La” by Faces

“This song really blew my mind. It became my own theme. It’s that ‘Make your heart sing’, nostalgic moment when you’re a teenager, driving in the car listening to it, playing guitar with your friends and you’re singing “I wish that I knew what I know now / When I was younger.” You’re like, ‘because I’m an adult now, I’m 15-years-old. If I only knew what I know now.’

“I was doing theatre from a young age and I was part of a young conservatory called A.C.T. in San Francisco. By way of somebody who knew somebody, I had an audition for a movie. As a kid not being near New York or Los Angeles it was really exciting, and this audition was for a film called ‘Max Fischer’, which would become the movie Rushmore, which would become one of my favourite movies of all time by the now very distinguished Wes Anderson.

“Separate from my own objective love of Wes Anderson, when this movie came out I was just around the age of getting into my own sort of identity with music, but also movies - indie movies - and trying to assert who I was. So, I see this movie Rushmore and I love it. I love the soundtrack, I love it so much, it’s one of my favourite albums ever. This song is the end sequence, and the way it made me feel - the vocals on it, I could play it on guitar and it was part of a cool movie - it really represented a lot in my life.

“And because of the acting thing, and Rushmore being great - it’s about this kid in high-school who's misunderstood but has his own agenda - everything about it was just so fucking cool to me. To this day, I cite that song as one of my favourite records of all time.”

“Recently Distressed” by Phantom Planet

“A guy that really formed the way I would sing and write songs is Alex Greenwald, the frontman of Phantom Planet. I went to see Phantom Planet because I loved Rushmore and I found out that Jason Schwartzman [who had been cast as Max Fischer] was also the drummer for a band called Phantom Planet.

"So, when I saw their name on the bill I went, but I didn't know their music. I was barely 14, but their set blew my mind. It was Rock and Roll, but I loved Alex Greenwald’s voice. I loved everything, and I would follow their career from there. I always tell people that my voice is a combination of me trying to be Alex Greenwald, Paul McCartney and Rufus Wainwright, but failing. Alex was incredibly formative for me.

“One of their biggest records was a little while after I first saw them, which was the song for The O.C., "California." That was more of an Elvis Costello thing, and they employed a lot of stuff that sounded to me like The Beatles and a lot of ‘60s mod/pop-rock. But later they would employ things from Fugazi, Radiohead and harder shit, and that eclecticism, again, only accelerated my love for Phantom Planet.

“Recently Distressed” is from their 1998 album Phantom Planet Is Missing. This was a cool rock song that employed these George [Harrison] and Paul [McCartney] background vocals and included all of the things that I loved. It was harder but melodic and employed minor 4th chords and more complicated chords than I was used to. I had grown up with power chords - which are very Gregorian - on a lot of alt. punk rock, like Green Day or Nirvana, and if Kurt Cobain was using power chords then that’s how I was playing guitar. Hearing this music was like ‘Oh, I’m using full chords, not sevenths, minor 4th chords, diminished chords’, shit that I would learn to use more and more.

“When you haven’t experienced much, anything that gives a hint towards possibility, even though it’s probably always been there, you’re like, ‘I like this, I’ve always kind of liked this, but it’s very encouraging to hear somebody else do it and it’s gonna make me reconsider my possibilities.’ That was literally the moment that my power chords turned into full barre chords.”

“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainwright

“I forgot the other day how I got into Rufus Wainwright, because all of this stuff I was getting into quite young. It’s like when I talk to 11-13 year olds, it’s funny to think that this was when I was really starting to build my musical identity. But then I remembered, and I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to sound uncool, because he is such a revered artist who exists in a much cooler place than what I’m about to say.

“I loved soundtracks and I would always buy soundtracks for movies that had cool playlists. I had the Shrek soundtrack, and there’s a cover of Leonard Cohen’s seminal “Hallelujah” that Rufus does and he smashes it, and I’m like, ‘Who the fuck is Rufus Wainwright? What a beautiful voice.’ Then I saw that he was going to be at the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco one week, so I go and he’s there promoting his new album Poses. I remember I didn’t have enough money to buy the album that day, so I had him sign my sneaker and I saved that shoe.

“The first song on Poses was “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, which is a very dark and reflective song about his own battles with addiction, but he’s singing it over this really beautiful, whimsical song that has a lot of really great wordplay. I always love when artists, especially lyricists, can encapsulate an idea with not exactly what they’re talking about. The song’s called “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, it’s not called “Addiction”. Its talking about things that he craved and how that’s representative of other things that he’s gone through. There was a sophistication and elegance to that that I really gravitated towards, that I didn’t possess but wanted to shoot for. So when I saw him, that was a big one for me and he would also continue to influence me later in my life.

“I’ve become friends with Rufus since. I’ve performed with him and we’ve made records together, which is crazy. His songwriting was very complex and punk-rock, but he had this classic cabaret voice, the kind of voice that I don’t have. I was fascinated that there was somebody that could write this really dark material but have such elegance on top of it. He was virtuosic on the piano, which I thought was very cool because musicianship is always the thing that gets me going the most about artists.

“You know what? People say, ‘Don’t meet your heroes.' I completely disagree. Chase the living fuck out of your heroes. I’ve spent a lifetime doing so, it’s made me a better artist, and I’ve sometimes got to meet them and work with them. I’ve worked on music with Alex Greenwald of Phantom Planet. I’ve performed with Hanson. I’ve performed those Disney songs with Alan Menken at The Hollywood Bowl.

"This is all because there are people that I love who I have put on my vision board, and the things that they have done are the things that are bringing me to them. So it is nuts, but at the same time you’re like, ‘Well, what else did you think would happen?’ They did stuff that some part of me connected with, so obviously there’s a magnetic pull towards that person.

“Rufus Wainwright is one of my absolute favourite artists of all time and like I said, me trying to sing like him and failing is a big part of my own journey as an artist.”

“3x5” by John Mayer

“John Mayer’s another guy that came around when I was 15. I heard a song of his on a middle-of-the-night, singer/songwriter college radio show. This is where I used to get music. You would listen to these carefully curated playlists that you wouldn’t be able to hear anywhere else, and the host played “No Such Thing”, a new song by this young kid who had just dropped out of Berklee College of Music - John Mayer.

“I’m listening to this song and I’m like, ‘Not only is this guitar playing really interesting, but the lyrical value and everything that is going on here ticks all the boxes.' It was jazz, but it was pop. And he did something that all these other guys and girls I’ve mentioned did. They made something very unique and very accessible.

“I immediately went out to buy this album, Room For Squares, and I listened to it over and over again. It was an album that was really formative for me. "3x5” is a really beautiful song that employs a lot of chord structures and melodies that blew my fucking mind at the time, and it made me wish that I could write songs like that.

“That album was a huge turning point in the way I played the guitar, because it was the first time in my life where I would look up tabs. Up until this point in my life, if I heard a song I could play it instantly. It was like a party trick, I would get how it worked if I heard it, because most of the songs I would hear on the radio - especially those that involved a guitar - were [centred around] power chords. And now I’m hearing all of these ninth chords and thirteenths, and I’m like, ‘What the fuck is this?’ So I’d have to look up tabs.

“I think any young artist can attest to this - when you try and learn other people’s shit, it’s the best tool for educating yourself. Playing other people’s music really helps you lock in what your own style is. Trying to learn these songs - and sometimes pulling it off and sometimes not - really changed the way that my hands moved around the guitar and considered chords and voicings that I’d never really thought of.

“There’s another tie to musical theatre here, where I remember seeing Audra McDonald, who is a very venerated theatre actor, and she did a cabaret. If you’re familiar with cabaret culture, it’s more about performing the story of the songs – ‘Life is a cabaret’. She did a John Mayer song because she thought it was from a musical theatre show, and I was so tickled by this, because I was like ‘Yeah, if you really think about it, I don’t think he knows this and I don’t think his fan base even thinks about this, but there’s a number of his songs that feel very theatrical in the way that the lyrics play with each other and the way the chords move’.

"When I saw this I thought, ‘That is why I like John Mayer’, because yes, he’s an amazing guitar player, but he’s also a really strong songwriter.”

“Cabaret” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

“Also, around this time growing up in San Francisco, as a guitar player playing music with your buddies, the number one thing that you play is punk rock. There are different parts of the spectrum of punk rock, there's the NOFX, Swingin’ Utters, like real punk, punk. And then there’s the pop-punk thing that was happening at the same time, which was also equally influential - blink-182 and Green Day.

“Fat Mike was the frontman of NOFX. I loved NOFX, and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes were a supergroup of different members from different punk bands, of which Fat Mike was one of the main architects. They would cover songs and turn them into punk rock songs. They have an album of hits from the ‘60s, and they also have an album called Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: Are a Drag, and that record is just a tonne of musical theatre covers that are done through punk rock.

“That was completely in line with everything I loved at this time of my life but didn’t really know how to articulate. I loved punk rock but I also really loved musical theatre. Not only the performative element of it, but there was a real musicality to musical theatre that wasn’t as present in some of the other shit that was popular at the time, just harmonically, or where chords would go. There was a sophistication I loved that seemed to not exist in punk rock.

“Then hearing Fat Mike at The Warped Tour going ‘Alright, which one of you Motherfuckers loves Julie Andrews?’ and hearing a mixed bag of reactions, because people were ‘What? I was not expecting that from you, sir?’ And then they start playing “My Favourite Things”, a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song which is very accessible, but sophisticated nonetheless. And I am just living. I’m like, ‘This has got the attitude and simplicity of punk rock, but the sophistication of a beautiful song.’

“That was the first time in my life where I went, ‘It’s just all music. All these categories and boxes are completely arbitrary.’ So I thought, ‘I can do that.' I was playing power chords in punk bands but I realised that you can take chords and make them into other rhythms and voicings and have the same song. I could take a punk song and make it jazz. I could take a jazz song and make it country. So, quite providentially, I would end up on Glee, where they took popular songs and would sometimes do their own versions.

“By that point, I had been doing this my whole life. The first time this ever became a possibility for me was seeing Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, and that way of thinking about music and genre. I’ve put that into Masquerade, and it’s all born from that moment of ‘Oh my God, nothing has to be one thing. It’s just about how you look at it.'

“Cabaret” is from a pretty famous musical that I would’ve probably heard about later in life, but I first heard that song as a punk song and then I went back and heard the original. It doesn’t matter how these things happen, the inspiration happens and then you can go from there. But Me First and The Gimme Gimmes were a huge gateway drug and I play “Cabaret” now every year at my festival. That’s why the festival is called Elsie Fest, because it covers the song.”

“Modern Nature” by Sondre Lerche

“One of the great joys of being a younger brother is that you get to inherit the music of your elders. My brother and I were both really proactive consumers of music, so we would share stuff with each other all the time. But then he would come home from college, which is like coming home from a music festival essentially, right? He was in a new time zone with new people, so he’d bring home these mix CDs that he’d made from people that he’d heard about, and he brings home this guy named Sondre Lerche.

“Hearing this guy blew my mind, because he also was using jazz chords and drawing on musical theatre. Musical theatre’s a massive category, so I can’t just say that musical theatre sounds like one thing, but when I say this, I’m referring to The American Songbook, the jazz standard songbook. “Modern Nature” was a duet that I would go on to play many times with one of my oldest musical collaborators, Charlene Kaye. When we got to college and we both found out that we loved this guy.

“There was a much more whimsical way to how he wrote these songs. And what’s crazy is that loving this guy meant that we also loved Rufus Wainwright, that we also loved these other artists. But Sondre was the first time I considered that I loved that type of music, but I didn’t know that you could be a singer/songwriter and put out music that sounded like it.

“I don’t know if ‘twee’ is the right word to use, but with “Modern Nature” there was a playfulness about it, and again, a musicality that I really gravitated towards. There is a through line - there was a sophistication that was accessible, and me trying to learn those songs did make me rethink the way that I was writing music. The structures were weird and different and I liked that.

“To this day, I find myself writing songs that I think might be difficult for people to ingest, because they’re a little too left of centre, and I realise that I’m trying to write like Sondre Lerche, or I’m unconsciously just copying him.”

“Everything Happens to Me” by Mr Hudson & The Library

“I was in an H&M in Stockholm when I was 21, and I heard this really cool groove and the lyric was “Why must I always play the clown?” It was sung with a really thick British accent, had an 808 feel on it, and lyrically it had an attitude. Who would say something that sounds so like you’re in a Gilbert & Sullivan musical, but it feels hard? It was cool.

“I went home and looked this up and it was off the record A Tale of Two Cities by Mr Hudson and the Library, which would really, really fuck me up. I bought the album immediately because I loved this song. I had to order it on the internet because I couldn’t find it. It was doing well in England and he was on the festival circuit in the early-mid 2000s, but the first song on the album was a musical theatre cover with 808s.

“It was a pared-down, sort of a hip-hop version of “On The Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady, and I’m like ‘No fucking way, this guy gets where my head is.’ I’d thought about punk rock musical theatre, but I never thought about 808s and 909s scoring these beautiful songs. I go down the track list and he has “Everything Happens to Me”, which is another very famous standard, and he had this really cool, what we would now call chill-hop, ‘study beats’ version of this song. I was like, ‘This is it. This guy gets that good music is good music and you can reinterpret it to offer it as a new song.’

“I would later become great friends with Mr Hudson. I got to meet him years later when I was with Columbia Records, and they said to me ‘Who do you want to meet?’ He was at the top of my list. I went to London and we’ve been friends ever since and have created all kinds of music together.

“He told me a story where Tyler the Creator went up to him once at Coachella and said, ‘Oh man, “Everything Happens To Me”, that’s like my song.’ We both wondered if Tyler the Creator knew that it was a Chet Baker cover. And we were thinking how cool it is that you can offer these songs to a new audience through a different lens. Tyler’s a smart guy, he’s very cultured, and I’m sure he did know. But it’s more the idea that if someone experienced this song and didn’t know that it was a cover, and this is like the first time they ever get to experience it.

“Mr Hudson would go on to do his own thing with Kanye and was on 808s & Heartbreak and has had his own career. I think “Supernova” was a hit in the UK, it didn’t really cross over here to The States, but before that moment for him, that Mr Hudson and The Library album changed my life. People use that phrase willy-nilly, but this literally was a turning point in my life. It all had to do with the same thing that happened with these other songs, where I saw someone do what I always wanted to do but didn’t really know how to pull off. Where he had this fusing of old songs delivered through a contemporary lens, but also laced it with his own original material that also employed the things that made that old songwriting interesting.

“It’s like changing the font of a great essay but finding the font and figuring out that that font is its own art form. He really displayed that marvellously on this.”

The Masquerade EP is out now

#darren criss #the line of best fit #press #sept 2021

[hhawkeye]

hi I'm neurodivergent and I tend to not pick up on things. can you please explain the mash "if not then why" thing?

hi hello!! no worries i will explain as best i can (idk if you’re a mash fan or not so i will explain as though you dont know about mash, forgive me if you do):

basically in mash (set in the early 1950s during the korean war) there’s this guy bj hunnicutt who is... on the surface a happily married man with a wife and a kid and a dog and it’s all very sweet and whatever. but. sometimes he has certain mannerisms and storylines that make you go... is this man... perhaps... not as straight as he may seem?

and the answer of course is, no dude, you’re just reading too much into things, this show was made in the 70′s, what the hell

BUT THEN!

on march 7th someone sent tumblr user thealogie a message saying that. mr farrell wrote in his book about how when he was in his senior year of high school he would hitchhike and get picked up by gay men all the time, earning him the nickname “queerbait” from his friends. which like. ok there’s a whole lot to unpack there but i mean it was the 50s. it’s fine. anyway, he discussed feeling empathy towards these men. gay men in the 50s. (also, unimportant to this but a sidenote: after this i decided to read his book and i am only about halfway through so far but it is GOOD and INTERESTING and KIND OF WILD)

anyway. a couple weeks earlier i had also read THIS quote from a darren criss interview, which discusses mike farrell (in the 2018 miniseries the assassination of gianni versace) playing a “deeply closeted man who loves his wife, and is a truly good man who is fighting a demon he can’t escape” and who was “trying so desperately to keep it together” which... is, to put it simply, at least a little reminiscent of bj from mash

putting these together, and connecting them to. some of the Things bj does, and the ways mike farrell has written and directed episodes, brings us to: If Not Then Why

idk if i was the first person to say it in reference to bj but i’m claiming it. it’s mine now. i made this post and there have been several posts made referencing the phrase. basically it’s just “if bj ISNT meant to be gay then why the fuck did mike farrell act like this for eight years”

here are some of my if not then why tags so u may see some posts:

if

not

then

why

ANYWAY. all this to say. the post you are referring to is like. s1-3 haha funny show with lukewarm takes about the war. s4-11 (when bj is there)? gay people. Gay People

#ALSO the post is a joke in that like #very obviously there is more to mash esp late seasons than just... men smooching #which they dont. all the boyxboy kissing takes place in s1-3 i think. not that theres a lot #i just thought it was a funny little post to make #anyway i hope this explains it! sorry for the long ass answer<3 #Anonymous #char don't look

[sammysreelreviews]

8 New(ish) Things To Stream During Quarantine

HI EVERYBODY!!! I’M BACK! I’ve been so distracted by what’s going on (like a fucking PANDEMIC!?!!!) that I haven’t written in a bit and I’m so sorry! To be honest I’ve been playing so much Animal Crossing that I don’t have time to focus on shows that require a lot of attention so technically I didn’t have much to write about. It’s kind of awesome though that some of my old posts still get notes everyday I’m glad people could be discovering some shows or movies they haven’t seen yet! Any who, I made a list of some newish stuff I’ve been streaming that I liked I wish I had more to add but I promise I will get off my Nintendo Switch and binge some foreign shows and new stuff so I can tell y’all about it. Also, HBO Max is FINALLY out so when they come out with more original content I’ll be sure to post about it! Ok enjoy the list and remember THE 3RD AND FINAL SEASON OF THE NETFLIX ORIGINAL SHOW “DARK” COMES OUT ON JUNE 27TH! ITS THE BEST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN SO FUCKING WATCH IT!!! Okay now I’m done for real. I love y’all enjoy the list! Besos!

*- Netflix original 

1. Big Time Adolescence (2020)

Pete Davidson stars in this film where he befriends his ex girlfriend’s little brother (Griffin Gluck). The movie is hysterical but also heartwarming. I only watched for Machine Gun Kelly but I’m glad I did.

Where to stream: Hulu

2. Duncanville (Season 1)

Fox’s newest animated show fits in perfectly with the Sunday animated line up. Duncanville follows teenage Duncan and his kooky family. Not only did Amy Poehler create the show she also writes it and voices Duncan and Duncan’s mom! If you’re a Bob’s Burgers fan you’ll love this.

Where to stream: Hulu

3. Parasite (2019)

All the hype surrounding this film is real. Please watch this Academy Award winning film (for best picture!!!) right fucking NOW.

Where to stream: Hulu

4. Never Have I Ever (Season 1)*

Mindy Kailing created and wrote this teen comedy about an Indian girl named Devi (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) who just wants to lose her virginity. Not only do we finally have a teen brown girl at the center of the show she also has two best friends of color with actual depth! Please watch the show it’s such a gem!

Where to stream: Netflix

5. Hollywood (2020)*

Ryan Murphy’s reimagining of old Hollywood isn’t his flashiest project but it’s definitely his most heartwarming one. This miniseries stars Darren Criss, Laura Harrier, The Politicians David Corenswets, and show stopping newcomer Jeremy Pope.

Where to stream: Netflix

6. The Midnight Gospel (Season 1)*

Pendleton Ward, creator of my favorite animated series Adventure Time, has created a whole new show for Netflix about a kid named Clancy who interviews people in dying worlds for his space cast. The animation is fun because there’s always something going on but the dialogue is basically as if you’re listening to a podcast. The show goes over so many topics and it really gets you thinking. I hate podcasts but I loved The Midnight Gospel and I pray it gets renewed.

Where to stream: Netflix

7. Trolls World Tour (2020)

I’m a Trolls stan and the fact that we can rent the sequel from the comfort of our homes is honestly the only thing giving me serotonin these days. If you need a laugh or want to jam out this is the movie for you. Stormi Webster approved.

Where to watch: Available anywhere you can rent films 

8. Solar Opposites (Season 1)

With this original show Hulu is finally ready to play ball when it comes to the streaming wars. From the creators of Rick and Morty comes another balls to the walls insane show. A group of four aliens migrate to earth and try to fit in. It’s only eight episodes long but I need a season two like now! There’s also a subplot I’m not gonna give away but I was so invested in it I’m so excited to see what happens.

Where to stream: Hulu

#hollywood netflix #solar opposites #trolls world tour #parasite #duncanville #The Midnight Gospel #never have i ever #big time adolescence #pete davidson #machine gun kelly #rick and morty #ryan murphy #laura harrier

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag???? #aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘 #love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop. #my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me??? #or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘ #imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so) #i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀 #sentencessss*

[365days365movies]

March 5, 2021: The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (Review)

Well, shit. That’s another 98%.

I’M NOT TRYING TO DO THIS! It’s just...this one’s also really good, and I can’t find any significant flaws in it! Except for...well, one. And it’s...the same one as Spirited Away BUT SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT!

Look, I’ll go into ore detail this time, but I really didn’t think Spirited Away was going to be matched, and...well, it was. Because this movie is stellar. It’s gorgeous, it’s tragic, it’s fantastic fantasy, and it’s genuinely just a very good movie. But I do have a little more to say this time.

Starting with the original story. You gotta go back to the 800s for this one. No missing 1 there, I’m talking the 9th century! The original story is a little different than the movie’s version, but it plays it mostly straight. The bamboo-cutter isn’t quite as gung-ho about the whole “royalty” thing, and her growth is actually faster in the original story.

Most of the other beats are the same, although some minute things differ. She actually becomes friends with the Emperor, although she definitely doesn’t get together with him. But there is a MAJOR omission in this adaptation: the elixir of immortality.

Remember that anime I was talking about, Kaguya-sama: Love is War? It has an episode where this story specifically is brought up, and the elixir of immortality is a major feature of it. See, the Elixir is actually what one needs to survive on the Moon, and the mortal Kaguya drinks it once the Celestial Parade comes to take her back. She sends some of it to the Emperor with a letter before she puts on the forget-me-robe, and then she leaves.

That’s where the movie ends, and I think that’s an amazing place for it to end, but the original story continues. Kaguya’s earthly parents become ill, and the Emperor is given the letter and elixir. In his sorrow, the dumbass writes her a letter and elixir and has his men BURN it on the highest mountaintop, sending his message to the princess. The smoke from that fire was ever-burning and immortal, and the mountain was renamed as “The Immortal Mountain”, or...

Yeah! It’s Mount Fuji! Neat, huh? Anyway, I called the Emperor a dumbass for burning the Elixir. He did it because he didn’t want to live forever without her, but DUDE! Maybe she would’ve COME BACK FOR YOU ONE DAY! But now, she’s gonna live forever, and you’re dead as shit. Buddy...think these things through.

So, yeah, that’s the difference between the two, and I actually quite like the movie’s version. Didn’t need the extra stuff with the elixir, because this didn’t need to be a love story. Instead, it’s a story that celebrates human life and life on Earth, as Kaguya’s last speech outright says. And yeah, that’s kinda beautiful. Hell, why do you think the backgrounds are so lush in this movie? Because it’s not just about Kaguya...it’s about life on Earth.

So, with that, let’s get into the Review, huh? This movie was fantastic, and I do think it deserves a Review in full. Check out all three parts of the Recap here, here, and here!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

James Caan was...not the best choice for Miyatsuki in the dub. He really clashes with the rest of the cast for me, and with the setting as well. But he’s the only performance that I’d consider bad. Not even bad, just ill-fitting! Put simply, it’s only really OK, when it isn’t outright jarring. But everybody else? Fantastic. Mary Steenburgen is arguably the best of the cast, pulling double-duty as Narrator and Mom, and that’s to say nothing bad about Chloe Grace Moretz as the Princess herself! Darren Criss, Lucy Liu, Hynden Walch, James Marsden, even Geaorge Segal and Dean Cain all do a pretty good job! I mean...fuck Dan Cain, but he did OK here.

And yeah, this is the dub cast, because I unfortunately didn’t have access to the sub. But are they good? Yeah, they’re still good. Ghibli has good dubs, what can I tell ya? Except for James Caan. That wasn’t the best choice.

Plot and Writing: 10/10

It’s fantastic. Not only is it a great adaptation of the original story, but it’s a great interpretation of it as well! It takes the original story, but gives it a new meaning as compared to the original story, and builds the screenplay from there! It’s...it’s genuinely one of the best adaptations I’ve ever seen of a story from classic mythology and folklore. Credit to Isao Takahata and Riko Sakaguchi, because they did a stellar job with this adaptation.

Can we...can we do this for other mythologies, please? I want a Paul Bunyan movie that’s actually about the value of natural wonders, or a Hercules movie about the nature of immortality through deeds, or true forgiveness for one’s actions, or...I just need more adaptations like this! This film made me want to see a change in film, and it helped to change my tastes a bit as well. And really...what better compliment can a film be given?

Directing and Cinematography: 10/10

Isao Takahata was one of Hayao Miyazaki’s contemporaries, and it FUCKING SHOWS. As does the cinematography skill of Keisuke Nakamura, because this film is...wonderful. I don’t really have anything to say. It’s just an amazingly storyboarded film. And once again, that’s closely linked to...

Production and Art Design: 10/10

The artistry is unparalleled in a lot of ways, but not specifically because of skill and detail. No, it’s the stylization of the film that sets it apart, and it’s gorgeous. Japan’s art is best known worldwide from the period of minimalist watercolor paintings they produced, and that period is well-replicated and represented in this...just genuinely gorgeous movie. The art director is Kazuo Oga, and he’s apparently, like...amazing? He’s worked on a BUTT-ton of great looking films, including many of the Ghibli films. His experience shows, even though has bee his last film he’s worked on in that capacity, so far. Which is a shame, because...I mean, come on. It’s amazing.

Music and Editing: 10/10

Joe Hisaishi. Yup. Kiki’s, Spirited Away, and this movie. He’s a goddamn musical prince, and it’s gorgeous. Not a lofi mix this time, but definitely some good background music for your life. It’s just beautiful, and I can’t recommend this music enough. 

And the editing? Toshihiko Kojima is fantastic as well, and the sound and visual editing is essentially flawless here. I just...THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS

I know, a 98% twice in a row is ridiculous...but...

Can you blame me? This movie is fantastic, and basically flawless. I’ve said all I can say about it. Well, other than to say that you need to see this movie if you haven’t already. And NOW I don’t think I’m topping this one. Watch me say that, and then the next movie’s also gonna be amazing.

Well, I’ll tempt fate. What are the odds, right? Right? Just to test that, I’m leaving Japan finally. But, that doesn’t mean I have to leave animation, right?

March 6, 2021: Wolfwalkers (2020)

#the tale of the princess kaguya #the tale of bamboo cutter #studio ghibli #studioghibli #isao takahata #princess kaguya #kaguya #Chloë Grace Moretz #darren criss #james caan #mary steenburgen #lucy liu #hynden walch #james marsden #oliver platt #daniel dae kim #dean cain #fantasy march #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year

[rachelking2819]

Hollywood

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

I want to start of with a grand applause for Hollywood on Netflix. It is was not at all what I expected, but I was positively surprised! When I first watched the trailer and saw Darren Criss I was already sold, but I just thought that it was going to be old Hollywood and how he was going to be the breakout star. And then there was the tease about the controversy of a black person involved in the making of a movie, so that also got my attention, but nothing else was remarked from the trailer. It also gave me major musical vibes, so I expected that they would break out in song every moment… Spoiler, they didn’t.

There are a lot of important and remarkable characters on this show. Almost everyone we see has some significance to the plot and overall story. But I don’t want to bore you with a detailed dissection of all of them, so I’ll be explicitly discussing 4 characters.

The new series on Netflix is basically about 5 young people trying to make it in Hollywood.

First there is Jack Castello, he essentially drives the story, he was a veteran in World War II. Now he is trying to pursue a dream of becoming a movie star so he can provide for his (spoiler) cheating pregnant wife… bit sad ain’t it. In the beginning he obviously struggles and makes some morally questioning decisions to make ends meet. This shady business gets him a foot a in the door at a major production company, Ace Pictures, by sleeping with the casting director and the wife of Ace Pictures’ owner. Ultimately, he gets cast in the movie Meg written by Archie Coleman.

Secondly, we meet Archie Coleman. An aspiring black gay screenwriter. He also is struggling to make ends meet. He gets caught up in the same shady business as Jack. However, he has written and send a script to Ace Pictures. A peculiar thing about this, is that no one at the studios know of his race or sexual orientation. Archie doesn’t want to be known as a black screenwriter, but as a screenwriter. Which I think is a great sentiment. Against all odds, he gets the call that his script will be made into a movie and that is when the series really starts.

Then there is Camille Washington. She is a contracted black actress at Ace Pictures. As a black girl in the fifties she doesn’t get cast as important roles though… She mostly plays the dumb maid and is used for comical relief. The latter is quite recognizable still… Camille tries to give the characters she plays more agency and some sense of seriousness but is shutdown at every chance. Until a very lucky audition she gets cast as the leading actress of Archies movie, becoming the very first black lead actress on the white screen.

With a black lead actress, a black screenwriter, and an interracial couple at the head of Meg, the movie and studios get major criticism from the society. They threaten everyone involved, going as far as setting fire to the studios’ president’s home and protesting outside the studios’ gates. While all of this is going down, Dick Samuels rises to the stand to offer comfort and motivates everyone to go on and “fuck the haters”. Dick is a closeted employee at Ace Pictures and oversees every movie in production and makes sure that everything is as it should be. He really is the backbone of the whole project. From the very beginning he is very much supportive of the movie and the progressive innuendos. He really feels like the sweetest uncle ever. However, he is struggling with his sexuality. Society isn’t very supporting of homosexuality, to say the least. Especially in Hollywood it could mean the end of one’s career.

Together with countless amazing characters these four remarkable people set out to make the movie that will make history against all odds. Everyone is aware that the movie they made will either be an incredibly good thing or a great disaster. As the president Avis Amberg during her toast says: “we’ll either be looked at as the smartest people in the room or we will never work again. To never working again.” Personally, I love this quote. This quote means that the movie will be so controversial, that changes need to happen within the filming industry. But the people are too small minded to ever want that to happen, hence the protests. So, while to be looked at as the smartest people in the room is great, it won’t have the same impact as when they all would be fired for releasing the movie and then never work again. This means they have done a tremendous job with so much power and impact, that people will be scared for what they will do next and how it will affect them. So, keeping them out of a job represents the fear of that power to me.

What I commend Hollywood most for is that every properly introduced character had a purpose, a mission, a “flaw” and grew from it. I say “flaw”, because of the way the “flaw” was perceived by other in the series, like sexual orientation and race. But there were also genuine flaws like sexual manipulation, homophobias and infidelity. The characters were so well fleshed out that I really understood them, what they stood for and why they would do certain things the way they did. Even the “villainy” characters showed this growth and progression. Most tv shows I watch, characters are mostly explained but growth is barely shown. So, for this series with only 7 episodes to round out their characters without it feeling rushed, is something I appreciate.

While I definitely enjoyed the series, I don’t think I want another season. It probably would be about how the characters are holding up now as well-established names in Hollywood or maybe different people would take the spotlight now. But to me that feels unnecessary, because the way this show ended already gave me a feeling of completion and I think a second season would be too much of a good thing.

Kudos to everyone involved with Hollywood. I thoroughly enjoyed it and recommend it 10/10 to others to go and watch it. I might have already pressured my sister and cousin.

Thank you for reading! Tell me what you thought of Hollywood and ‘till next time!

#hollywood #netflix #hollywood netflix #david corenswet #darren criss #laura herrier #joe mantello #jeremy pope #patti lupone #dylan mcdermott #jake picking #holland taylor #samara weaving #jim parsons #meg #jack castello #raymond ainsley #camille washington #dick samuels #ernie west #rock hudson #archie coleman #ellen kincaid #claire wood #henry wilson #avis amberg

[planetofsillyhats]

(CW: General mid-antiquity misogyny)

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility, so I'm re-upping one of my short essays about one particular trans-woman particularly worthy of visibility: Ancient Rome's loopy god-queen, Elagabalus.

Elagabalus was the 25th Emperor of Rome--and also its first Empress. Born Sextus Varius Avitus Bassianus, she was by modern standards very obviously transgender, and would probably have been delighted to be addressed as Sexta Marcellina, her proper feminine name by Roman conventions.

She was raised in Syria, and was already the head of a major state religion: the worship of the solar deity El-Gabal, whose pedigree is entwined both with Christianity and with Islam. She ascended to the throne at the age of fourteen, succeeding the man who killed her cousin Caracalla and tried to rule in his place--because this was the tail end of the Severan Dynasty, and things were starting to go downhill for Rome. She did this by personally leading the final charge at the Battle of Antioch in 218 AD, actually helping to rout the usurper’s army and claiming Imperial honors for herself that very day. Picture that for a minute: a charging Roman legion led by a fourteen-year-old girl, then the same legion hoisting her on their shields and proclaiming her Imperator. The fact that everyone thought she was a little boy doesn’t really make it any less badass.

Unfortunately, this would be both the high point of her career, and the last time she’d ever have much real power. Once Marcellina settled down, she was little more than a puppet for her grandmother, Julia Maesa, who had tremendous ambition and, as a cisgender woman, no legitimate way of fulfilling it. This gave the Empress a whole lot of spare time to explore her identity--and while her strict henotheism ruffled feathers, and she may not have made many friends in high places for possibly inventing the whoopee cushion, what really made her unpopular was her sexuality.

Romans were a fairly enlightened bunch for the ancient world; they really didn’t care about race or religion one bit. If your faith didn’t involve infringing on the rights of others, they left you be---and the only religions they ever persecuted outright were the ones that involved human sacrifice (like the druids), theft (like certain Dionysian cults who supposedly ran around the countryside naked and slaughtered other people’s cattle), or sedition (like the Christians, who didn’t just refuse to pray to the deified Emperors, but wouldn’t even pray TO their own god FOR the living ones). Their only real social vices were their class issues--which were somewhat lessened by the fact that even the Senatorial elite were little more than a rubber stamp for the Emperor--and their staggering, galloping, ludicrous misogyny.

And when I call the Romans misogynistic, I don’t mean they were “just” sexist the way most modern Americans are, with our sometimes invisible biases and quietly nasty patriarchal worldview. I mean they really, flat-out, openly despised women and anything feminine. To illustrate the difference, Americans are homophobic partly because we have often unthinkingly sexist biases that make us see sex with a man as feminine and femininity in a man as bad. The Romans had the same attitude toward homosexuality, but they were so massively misogynistic that they went and romanticized certain types of gay relationships anyway, because keeping little boys as sex slaves at least proved you weren’t mooning away over--gag--a girl. And lesbianism was considered a form of frigidity; you weren’t really attracted to women, you were just being irrational and man-hating, which could be cured by sufficiently vigorous rape.

This was not a good environment for a teenaged transgirl with unlimited executive power, is what I’m getting at.

One of the things that I think people don't think about enough with regards to the ancient world and its cast of Great Men is how incredibly young a lot of these legendary characters are. Alexander the Great, for example, was... well, first off, he was basically Genghis Khan, but we root for him because he was a rich white guy. But more importantly, he was younger than me when he conquered Persia--which explains a lot about him, like the time he got really, really drunk in 330 BC and burned down Persepolis, probably resulting in a morning-after scene that looked like Cecil B. DeMille's The Hangover. All the the legendarily loony Roman Emperors were also twentysomethings at best--Caligula was the old man of the Bad Princeps Club at twenty-five, and his reign was less about real tyranny than sexual experimentation and snarky performance art. Nero was sixteen, and reading actual accounts of his reign, it very much shows--he was dramatic, emo and bratty, and desperate for attention and approval.

Marcellina was fourteen years old, trapped in a male body, and ruling a city-state where just wearing what would be considered normal men's wear back in Syria--colorful silks, some tasteful jewelry, and a practical bit of eyeliner to keep out the sun--got her ridiculed as a foppish, Oriental despot. But undeterred by legendary Roman normative biases, she took advantage of her Imperial prerogative to do what, to my knowledge, no other person in Western history had up to that point: live openly as a transwoman. She wore women's clothing, took male lovers, and famously offered huge sums of money to any doctor or wizard who could transition her. Of course, this was the Iron Age, so nobody took her up on it, and she still had protocols and traditions to follow--so she got married, tried to produce heirs, did all the usual Pater Familias stuff. But at some point, after the first year of her reign, she seems to have just given up and, like Caligula, entered a rather mean-spirited "just fucking with everyone" phase. She executed people, gave out cabinet positions to lovers, and didn't seem to care about actually ruling anymore.

Now, Romans were really, really nasty to people who didn't fit within their sexual norms--but they also used sexual deviancy as a form of slander in itself, so it's very hard to say just how much of the legend of Elagabalus the Crazy Syrian Drag Queen(tm) is really true. It's doubtful, for example, that she actually held a banquet at which several tons of flower petals were dumped from the rafters, smothering many guests. It's a safe bet, though, to say that she didn't take her marriage vows seriously at all, and seemed to enjoy taking the mickey out of Roman sexual mores. On one occasion, she married a virgin priestess of Vesta, left her for the wife of a man she'd had executed, and then dumped her to go back to the vestal virgin--who she may have married just for the sake of a joke about siring divine children. She went through five wives over the four years she reigned--but the whole time, her true love and only real companion seems to have been her chauffeur, Hierocles, who in my mind's eye is always portrayed by Darren Criss. She wasn't allowed to marry him--there are some things even an Emperor can't do--nor was she allowed to make him her co-ruler. But she did stick with him, and it looks to me to have been genuine teenage puppy love--just about the only thing in her life that was just right.

Now, isn't this just a little bit first-world-problemy? What can really go wrong if you're the ruler of all Western civilization? Well, if you recall, I said that Sexta reigned for only four years--in 222 CE, she and her mother were murdered by their own elite bodyguards, her kid brother Alexander was installed as the new Emperor, and the Romans set about trying their darnedest to erase her from history, or at least paint her as the worst thing since the RIAA. Does her reputation as the worst ruler Rome ever saw hold water? Not really. Could she have been better? Maybe--but so could Rome.

#elagabalus #history #ancient rome #LGBT+

[spaceorphan18]

1-15 for the writers meme for ‘With Every Broken Bone.’ (I’m in a rereading mood for fanfic and I’m thinking about rereading this). Also you know I love this one!!

Aww thank you dear <3 Now I won’t shut up about process and the ins and outs of writing, lol... 

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

When season 6 came along, admittedly, I had a really hard time reconciling going from a happy ending in season 5 to broken in season 6.  And writing about it kind of was an interesting cross-section of therapy and analysis.   While I was figuring out the timeline of events -- I noticed that there were some interesting parallels/juxtapositions going on, and because I thought I may not be writing more Klaine fic after this one (ha) I might as well take my own spin on a few famous portions of Klaine’s story.  

2: What scene did you first put down?

I tend to write chronologically, so the opening flashback scene was probably first.  I can’t fully remember.  I did have a whole outline, though, before writing. 

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Hmmm, I’m not entirely sure, since a lot of the specific narration I don’t remember as much anymore.  I do love the entire month of June chapter, though, which is mostly narration.  I love that it’s Kurt finally getting what he thought he wanted -- to be alone -- and finding himself through that, but also that even he can experience loneliness when having too much distance from everyone else.  

Also early in the story when Kurt goes dancing with a guy and he starts to connect to him -- feeling Blaine through him -- only to realize the dude isn’t Blaine and basically has a panic attack.  That moment was always really clear in my head, and I liked writing that one.  

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Oh, ha, it’s, like, my favorite line of dialogue ever, cause it’s a delightful metaphor for Klaine’s story at the time (And I’m sure people aren’t really that impressed with what I find clever, and are sick of me quoting myself, but I’m still amused by it) 

“You know what it’s like?  It’s like I stubbed my toe.  And my toe hurt. A lot.  And I tried to ignore the pain in my toe, but after a while it got so bad that something had to be done.  So, instead of taking care of my toe, I chopped off my foot.  Do you know how much worse chopping off your foot feels? Of course it took me four months to figure out how much it fucking hurts.  And now I don’t have a foot.  Just a bloody stump.  I shouldn’t have cut it off.  I could have fixed the toe.”

In addition, I also really enjoy some of the convos with Mercedes -- the one where she’s discussing her break up with Sam, and how, in a way, the two break ups are similar.  I also love the July flashback with Mercedes -- because it foreshadows a lot of the story, and I thought it was rather clever.  

5: What part was hardest to write?

The July chapter! Oh god, I think I had most of the rest of the fic done and kept having to put that on pause.  I wanted Kurt to have another romantic interest during the summer - and get a sense of what casual relationships are like, and discover what he’s like in relationships that aren’t with Blaine.  And to have to do that, set it up, pay it off, go through the whole thing and have it be meaningful was really hard.  It took a long time to figure it out.  

Not as difficult, but still I found challenge with, the flash back to the first break up.  Trying to figure out how Kurt felt differently, and exploring how it was a different thing in a short amount of time was difficult. 

The September flashback was difficult, too, because I needed Blaine to be frustrated without being too needy, or too much a bad guy.  I know betas and talking it out helped a lot on that one. 

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

This was my first big fic for Glee, and the first one where I felt like I was a decent writer.  It also helped me figure out Kurt and the show in a way that I hadn’t before, and I love the character more from writing it.  

7: Where did the title come from?

The lyrics of ‘I Lived’ -- I thought it was a nice touch that it was the last song on the show, and it fit with story I was trying to tell.  

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Yes! A lot of my experiences of New York I wrote into it here and there.  

Also the story about thunder being god bowling.  I had a cousin who used to tell me that so it didn’t seem so scary. 

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not really? The only big thing I cut out was an extension of the stuff with June Dalloway in chp 3 (?) -- my betas talked me into cutting that way down, and they were right to do so.  

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

I mean, well, they’re who I write. The pairing picked the story. 

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I really love the story it explores with Kurt in it.  I’m proud of how Kurt grows in it, and how I feel it does bridge the two seasons nicely.  I really love how it gets deep into Kurt’s psyche -- drawing on canon as much as I could to paint a full picture of who he is.  I think he’s a fleshed out and flawed character, and he feels real to me in this one.  

I also really love that I was restrained in my use of Blaine -- he’s a ghost that haunts this story, and I was fascinated with the idea.  I think it really comes through.  Blaine is always there, even when he’s not, even when Kurt’s trying hard to move on.  You miss Blaine in the story, but that’s intentional -- because Kurt deeply misses Blaine.  

12: What do you like least about this fic?

There are still some parts that feel a little clunky to me.  Certain sections that maybe go on too long, or not long enough.  I can tell it’s an earlier fic of mine -- I could have worked on better and more concise sentence structure in a lot of places.  I could have fleshed a few ideas out.  And the October chapter, which is all of season 6, goes on a little too long -- and it feels slightly out of place, but I knew it did even when writing it -- I’m not sure how I’d re do it, but it feels slightly different than the rest of the fic.  

I give myself a lot of leeway because it was my first time writing one, but the sex scene was a bit on the simple side.  It felt more like an obligation - and I was super scared to write it, and basically my betas had to help me construct it cause I had no idea what I was doing and felt funny writing it.  

I also think the Nov. flashback is a little too cheesy, but I was trying to get in all the last minute canon references, so I left it in there.  

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Yeah, I had a whole playlist for this one!! 

Chapter 1 (March): Teenage Dream - Darren Criss

Chapter 2 (April): Shake it Out (Acoustic) - Florence and the Machine

Chapter 3 (May): Rockstar - A Great Big World

Chapter 4 (June): I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow

Chapter 5 (July): Daydream Believer - Mary Beth Maziarz

Chapter 6 (August): Dream City - Free Energy

Chapter 7 (September): Head Over Feet (Acoustic) - Alanis Morissette

Chapter 8 (October): Halo - Beyonce

Chapter 9 (November): I Live - Fate Under Fire

Each of the chapters kind of had a musical aesthetic going on with it! Also intentional were the use of Kurt solos as chapter titles -- those paired along with each chapter purposely.  

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I have no idea - that’s up to them to get anything out of it.  

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I did! I learned a lot about writing (which having a few fantastic betas really be strict with my writing helped a lot).  I got myself out of some bad habits, and tried to be more introspective than I had been with previous writings.  And I just felt like I stepped up when it came to writing.  I think this is far from a perfect piece of writing, but I’m proud of how it turned out. 

I also learned a lot about Kurt, he became a part of me writing this, and now his story is much more special to me than it had been before.  And I learned a lot about Glee -- how it is as a show, and how it works, cause I looked at the structure of canon, and how it was written.  

#gorgxoxus #thanks so much! I could talk endlessly about this one! :) #that's how s.o. sees it

[ofstarsandvibranium]

This Is Your Song

Fandom: Marvel (Rock Star AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Your best friend is the lead guitarist of the up and coming rock band, The Howling Commandos. You’ve been with him and the band since the very beginning and throughout that time, you’ve realized you’ve fallen in love with your best friend. And you’re not sure what to do anymore seeing that you’re the band’s assistant and you’re tired of seeing Bucky with other women.

A/N: Was inspired after listening to Sami by Darren Criss and I changed some of the lyrics a bit. Also, this is long af (nearly 6K words!!), so I’m sorry.

You watch from the side of the stage as the Howling Commandos finish off their final song, the crowd going wild for them. There’s screams, hollers, cheers, all of it for your best friend and his band. You’ll never get tired of hearing the enjoyment the band gives to people, nor will you ever get tired of the proud look on Bucky’s face whenever they finish a show. 

“Thank you so much, everyone! We’ll see you next time!” Steve, the lead singer, shouts and the roar of the crowd grows as each member trickles off the stage. 

Dum Dum is off first, and he ruffles your hair as he passes by. Jim and Gabe both give you polite smiles. Jacques takes your hand and kisses it, he was the biggest flirt out of all of them. James gives you a little hip bump which makes you giggle. Steve pulls you in for a hug. And Bucky?

“WOO! THAT WAS QUITE THE SHOW TONIGHT, EH, Y/N?!” he lifts you up and twirls you around making you squeal and giggle. 

When he sets you down, you ruffle his already messy hair, “Yeah! They really dig you guys!”

“Alright, guys, let’s pack up and head to the hotel! We fly out tomorrow morning and you all need your beauty sleep...except maybe Dum Dum. He’ll always be ugly.” you all chuckle as the band’s manager, Howard Stark, pokes fun.

“Fuck you, Stark,” Dum Dum replies with a smirk, shoving his manager. 

Everyone exited the building, heading towards the waiting van. There were already fans waiting for them outside. Screams and yells for each member’s name from different people. They all took a few pictures with fans, gave some hugs, and signed some things. You sat in the back of the band watching them with a proud smile on your face. They’ve come a long way from that small garage band. 

Your eyes moved from each member and then landed on Bucky. Your smile wavered when you saw him accept a number from a very attractive woman around your age. 

“Hey,” you look to your side to see Steve sitting beside you. He never really liked the crowds or the attention. He still saw himself as the small, shy kid from Brooklyn. Not some rockstar, “You okay?”

You put on a smile, one that you’re sure he knows is fake, “Of course! You guys did amazing last night.”

Steve looks at you with pity and you hate it. He’s well aware of your feelings for Bucky, “Y/N, you-”

You shake your head, cutting him off, “Just drop it, Steve. Please.”

Bucky is the last one to enter the van and he has a big grin on his face, probably because of how many numbers he received from some attractive looking fans. He looks back at you and immediately sees the worried look on your face, “What’s wrong?”

“Just tired is all.”

He scoffs, “Come on. You can’t be tired! We have our ritual!” Ritual meaning going to Bucky’s room watching crap reality tv while binging on snacks. 

You shrug, “Sorry, Buck. But you need your rest anyway, like Howard said, we’ve got an early flight.”

He slumps in his chair groaning, “Fiiiiine. Guess I’ll be watching The Real Housewives of Orange County all by myself.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, “It’s only for one night, Buck. You can live without me for a night.”

He smirks at you, “You’re my best friend. There’s no way I can live without ya.” the way that he looks at you right there makes your heart beat faster. It’s just one of those things that makes you think, Maybe he feels the same way. But then you see how he flirts with fans and groupies and other women. Then that hope is gone. 

Twenty minutes later, the lot of you are trekking down the hall towards your individual rooms. Yours is across from Bucky’s and right next to Steve’s. You pull out your card key and open the door, but before you step inside, Bucky stops you.

“Y/N?” you turn around to see him standing there, hands in his pockets. He then leans in and kisses your cheek, “Good night.”

You muster out a “Good-night” back and watch Bucky enter his own room, the door closing behind him. You look to Steve, who witnessed the whole thing, and he looks how you feel, completely in shock. You close your door and push Steve into his own, closing the door behind you. 

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!” you cry out, “That just happened.”

Steve snickers as he kicks off his shoes and catapults himself onto his bed, “Yeah. That happened. I told you he likes you. The whole flirty bad boy act is just that: an act. You’ve known him for ten years, Y/N, there’s no way that any other woman can hold a candle to you.”

You want to believe Steve. You really do, but you think back to all the other women Bucky’s been around. They’re so beautiful. And you? You’re just some girl from Brooklyn who’s been following her best friend and his band around the country. And you’ll only ever be that: Bucky’s best friend. 

The excitement from the kiss has faded back into sadness, “He doesn’t mean it, Steve.” you mumble as you sit on the edge of his bed.

“Oh come on!”

“Steve, why would Bucky have me when he’s got all these beautiful women throwing themselves at him?”

“Well, for one, you know him like no one else. These women just like him for his looks and talents. They probably want bragging rights to say that they slept with a rock star.”

You look up at him, seeing him hugging a pillow, trying not to fall asleep, “How does Peggy do it?” you ask softly.

Steve’s eyes immediately widen at the sound of his girlfriend’s name. A small smile appears on his lips and his eyes soften, “I don’t know to be honest. Peg’s something else. She knows her worth and sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy of her. I’m gone a lot, on the road traveling. I’ve tried to break up with her a few times, saying that she deserves better. But she doesn’t want anyone but me. She loved me before the band even started and she loves me now. And-I don’t know, Y/N. Guess I’m just lucky to have someone as understanding and trusting as her.” 

You stare down at your lap, “I love Bucky, Steve. I really do, but I don’t know if I can handle being rejected by him.”

Steve sits up and moves over to you, his legs now hanging over the edge of the bed, and he places a hand on top of yours, “You won’t be rejected. That guy love you, Y/N. I know he does. Sure, he hasn’t told me that, but I see it. So enough of this mutual pining shit! You walk out of this room and up to Bucky’s. You barge in there and you tell ‘im that you love him!”

You nod, “Okay! I’ll do it!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah!” Steve wraps his arms around you and gives you a big hug, “You’re not gonna need it, but good luck.”

You snort, “Thanks, and don’t forget to call Peggy before you go to sleep!”

“Right! Ha, I forgot. Thanks, Y/N!”

“It’s what I’m here for!” you give him a wave and then you walk out the door. 

“Okay,” you mumble to yourself, “You got this, Y/N. You got this.” you walk the short distance to Bucky’s door and you knock on his door. There’s no answer. Maybe he’s in the bathroom. You look at the time and see that there’s no way Bucky could be asleep right now. He usually doesn’t go to sleep until late. So you pull out the key to his room, one that you kept only for emergencies and you walk in. 

“Hey, Buck, I gotta tell you someth-” you stop when you see a woman roll off of Bucky. She’s naked, save for the panties she still has on. Bucky is down to his boxers.

“Y/N! I-I-”

You shake your head, “Sorry. Sorry, I-you didn’t answer and I didn’t think you-Sorry. I’ll go.” you’re heading for the door and Bucky’s crying out for you.

“Wait, Y/N! Don’t-fuck!” you hear a thud, but you don’t dare turn around. If you did, you’d see Bucky on the floor, scrambling to pull on his jeans. The necklace with his ring, the friendship ring you gave him, swinging around his neck, “Y/N! Wait!” the door shuts in his face and Bucky’s body fills with dread. 

“She your girlfriend or something?” the blonde woman asks, sitting at the edge of his bed, looking unnerved. 

Bucky runs his hands through his hair, “Get out.”

“What?” the blonde looks at him in disbelief.

“I said get out! Get dressed and get the fuck out!”

The blonde is pissed as she quickly throws on her clothes, “Can’t believe this!” and she pushes past Bucky and out the door she goes. 

Bucky grabs his shirt and pulls it on. Not bothering with his shoes, he steps into the hallway. He takes two steps and he’s in front of your room. He hesitantly knocks. 

“Y/N? Can-Can we talk for a minute?” he runs a hand down his face, “I just-I’m sorry you had to see that.” he lets out a shaky breath, “Can you please opent he door, Y/N? I need-please?” he presses an ear to your door and he hears nothing. No shuffling or footsteps coming towards him. You’re either ignoring him or just not in your room. He really hopes it’s the latter. 

_________________________

Earlier.

As soon as Bucky stepped into his room, he felt a grey cloud loom over him. He didn’t like that he had to come to his room alone. After every show, you were always with him and you always did your post-show ritual. But now that was broken and he doesn’t really blame you. You’re tired and he doesn’t wanna force you to do something when you’re not in the mood to do it. So he let you have your rest. 

He decided to go to the hotel’s bar instead. Maybe get a few drinks in to numb the loneliness that’s usually filled in by you. 

He isn’t even finished with his first whiskey and he’s already approached by a beautiful leggy blonde. 

“Hey, you’re in that band right?”

He glances her way and eyes her form. She’s gorgeous and maybe this is his chance to finally get over you, “Yes, I am. I’m Bucky,” he sticks out his hand with a smirk.

“Elaine,” she says in a low, seductive tone, “How ‘bout we get outta here, Bucky? Bet we can have a lot more fun somewhere private.”

Bucky licks his lips and nods, slapping down a few bills, not worrying about the change and pulling Elaine by the hand, towards the elevator. 

Her lips are on his as soon as the doors close. She tastes a bit like vodka but he doesn’t care. He needs to drown out your smile, your laugh, your eyes. The doors open to his floor and he practically drags Elaine to his door, glancing at yours, before heading inside his room. 

Clothes are discarded. Bucky’s on his back, down to his boxers and Elaine’s straddling him, completely topless. The kisses are wet and messy and-

“Hey, Buck, I gotta tell you someth-” at the sound of your voice, Elaine rolls off him and he sees you standing there wide eyed. He looks at Elaine and then you.

“Y/N! I-I-” he’s stumbling over his words, trying to find the right ones to say, to explain to you that-

“Sorry. Sorry, I-you didn’t answer and I didn’t think you-Sorry. I’ll go.” you’re heading for the door and Bucky’s heart is pounding. 

He calls out for you, “Wait, Y/N! Don’t-fuck!” he scrambles off the bed, falling onto the floor with a thud. “Y/N! Wait!” he tries to run after you but the door shuts in his face. 

This was a mistake. Why did he think he could do this?! He loves you!

He kicks Elaine out with no remorse. She should’ve never been there in the first place. Once she’s gone and he’s redressed, he goes to your door, pleading for you to open up. When he gets no response, he really hopes that it’s because you’re not in your room.

________________________

You’re crying in Steve’s arms. You should’ve never listened to him. Why did you listen to him? You knew the truth. Bucky Barnes will never have feelings for you like you have for him. 

And now what do you do? You’re the band’s assistant and you don’t know if you can face Bucky. What are you going to do?

The next morning you and everyone else are packed into the fan, heading to the airport. You’re sitting next to Steve again, ignoring the Bucky’s pleading gaze on you. You put on your earbuds and close your eyes, drowning out face and the pain. 

You don’t sit next to him like you’re supposed to. You and Bucky always sit next to each other on plane rides, but this time, you don’t. You seemed to have switched tickets with Dum Dum, sitting next to Steve and Dum Dum next to Bucky. Guess no rom-com movies with you. 

The days seem so dull and slow now that you seem to be avoiding Bucky. He hates it. The ignored texts and calls. Being waved off to go help the stage crew. He just wants you to look at him, to listen to him. 

He happens to catch you all alone in the green room. You’re setting up the band’s snacks while everyone else is doing sound check. Bucky said he needed to use the bathroom, but really, he was just looking for you. 

“Y/N?” he sees your body tense and he hates that he’s the reason.

“I’m busy, Bucky,” you mumble, going back to setting up the snacks.

“Y/N, please, stop ignoring me.”

“I’m not ignoring you, Bucky. I’ve just been busy doing my job.”

“You don’t answer my texts or calls, you keep pushing me away whenever I try to talk to you, and you’re suddenly spending so much time with Steve? How is that not ignoring me. I’m your best friend-”

“Yeah, Bucky. You’re my best friend, not my boyfriend! I don’t have to text or call you or hang out with you every second of the day!”

Bucky tries not to let your words hurt him. You’re upset with him, that’s it, “Listen, Y/N, I just want to explain that ni-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Bucky. I’m not your girlfriend. I’m not your anything. You can sleep with anyone you want. I don’t care.” You push him out of the way and head for the door. 

“No, Y/N, please! You’re not listening to me!” 

You look over your shoulder, eyes teary and lip quivering, “Just leave me alone, Bucky.” and the door slams behind you. 

You march up to the sound booth where Howard is watching the sound rehearsal. He looks at you with a worried gaze, “You okay, kid?”

“After tonight, I’m quitting.”

“You sure?” 

You nod, “Yeah. I just-I need a break from all this. I wanna go back home work on my songwriting.”

“Alright,” you know he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. His arm just wraps around you and he pulls you in for a hug, “I’m gonna miss you, kid.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

The show was a blur for Bucky. His heart wasn’t in it like it usually was and everyone could tell. The band kept asking him what was up and he just answered with the same thing, “Nothing.” He goes straight to his hotel room after that, just needing some sleep and hopefully, when he wakes up, it would be just a terrible nightmare.

It wasn’t. In fact, it was so much worse.

“Quit? She just-she just quit?”

Howard nods, “Yeah. Flew back home last night. Said she needed a break.” 

This was it. After everything that you and Bucky had gone through, you were done. And it was all his fault. 

______________________

3 months later and 2 months until end of tour.

Being in back in Brooklyn is so weird. You became so used to hotels and big arenas and now you’re back to your old apartment. Your roommates Wanda and Pietro still around, giving you comfort and support. 

While working at a cafe, you continued to work on your songwriting, something that was a hobby you obtained whilst being friends with Bucky. You actually helped him write a few songs for the band and it always brought you joy to hear them play it, hearing the crowd sing along to the lyrics. But now the thought just made you sad. 

You’re in your room, sitting in front of your small recording set up, guitar in hand as you strum the chords you’ve been practicing, as well as the lyrics: 

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

You stop strumming to write down more lyrics into your notebook. It’s not much, but it’s definitely a big deal since this is your first song you’ve written without Bucky or anyone’s help. 

Speaking of Bucky, according to Steve, he’s not doing well. You see from footage of fans and media outlets that he’s not as lively as he used to be. Sure, he’s smiling on stage and meeting fans, but people have come to realize that he’s not genuine. Are you worried about him? Of course, but you need your time away from Bucky. You can’t handle your feelings for him while he’s around so being away from him has definitely helped...despite you writing a song about him. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Bucky just loves to torture himself, it seems. He’s in his hotel room and the tv is on in front of him, but he’s not paying attention. Instead, he’s watching a video of you and him on his phone. 

You and he are sitting on the couch in the green room before a show. The band is chatting away in the background while you and Bucky are tossing grapes into each other’s mouth. It was a competition to see how many you could catch in a row. You were winning. 

Bucky watches as you throw a grap at him, the small fruit hitting his nose instead of his mouth, which resulted in you bursting into laughter. A sad smile appears on his face. He notices how he’s looking at you on screen. Eyes filled with so much amusement and love. He should’ve just told you how he felt instead of trying to push his feelings aside. Maybe if he did tell you, you wouldn’t have left. 

“Hey,” he looks up to see Steve standing at the edge of his bed.

“How-”

“Stark let me in. I did knock.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Steve hears your laughter coming from Bucky’s phone and he shakes his head, “Stop it. You’re hurting yourself even more.”

"I miss her, Steve. She’s still not reading any of my texts or answering my calls. I love her and I fucked up.”

“Well, soon enough, the tour will be over and we’ll go back home. Then you can beg and plead and all that, but right now we have a job to do. So get off your ass and let’s go.”

__________________________

1 month until end of tour

You finally did it. You came up with the chords and the lyrics and you’re done. The song is done and you’re so proud! 

You sit in front of your camera, guitar in hand and you smile, “Hey, Steve. I did it! It’s done! I spent all last night finishing it up and here it is! I hope you like it!” you clear your voice and then begin to strum your guitar:

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

The way your hair falls in your eyes Makes me wonder if you'll Ever see through my disguise And I'm under your spell

Everything is falling And I don't know where to land Everyone knows who you are But you don't know who I am

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

I see you singing on that stage You look just like an angel And all I do is pray

That maybe, someday you'll hear my song And understand that all along There's something more that I'm trying to say When I say

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What you're doing to me!

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What you're doing to me..

“So yeah. That’s-That’s the song,” you chuckle, “Clearly, if I take this to the studio, I’m gonna change Bucky to, I don’t know, Baby. That makes sense, right? Anyway, tell me your thoughts and if I should change anything. Hope to hear from you soon!” you wave at the camera and then end the recording. 

You then hook up your camera to your laptop and attach your video to an email, sending it to Steve with anxiety coursing through you. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Steve his on his laptop in Bucky’s room. His earbuds in and Bucky assume’s he’s watching youtube videos or something. Meanwhile, Bucky is trying to read an email on his phone but the format is all weird. He turns around and waves at Steve, who pulls out an earbud, “Yeah?”

“Can I borrow your laptop? Becca sent me an email and I can’t read it ‘cause the format is weird.”

“Uuuhh, yeah.” Steve clicks something and then pulls his headphones out, “Here ya go. I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab my charger from my room.”

“Yeah. Kay. Thanks, man.”

Bucky sits up and settles the laptop on his lap and moves the mouse to add a new tab, but he stops when he sees your name. He knows he shouldn’t read Steve’s email, but it was your name! Curiosity got the best of him and he began to read Steve’s email.

It sounds amazing, Y/N! I’m really proud of you and I’m very honored to be one of the first people to hear your song. Keep up the good work and I expect you to remember me when you’re famous. 

Miss you a bunch, 

Steve.

“Song?” Bucky mumbled to himself. He looked up the thread and saw that you sent him a video. He clicks on it and he’s greeted to your face, your voice, your smile. God, did he miss you. 

He watched as you began to strum your guitar. Your mouth opened and there came that beautiful voice he loved:

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. You wrote this all by yourself? Bucky couldn’t help but swell with pride as he hears you sing-

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What? “She wrote a song about me?” he mumbles out loud. He looks up and sees Steve standing there, laptop charger in hand, “Why did she write a song about me?”

“The same reason why you’re so depressed that she left. She loves you.”

“She loves me,” he whispers to himself, “Did she send you an audio clip too?” Steve nods, “Can you send it to me?”

____________________

You knew that The Howling Commandos had their last show in Los Angeles. That meant everyone was coming back home, which meant Bucky was coming back home. You don’t know what you would do if you saw Bucky again. Would you apologize for walking out on him? Would you explain your jealous rage and heartbreak? Would you tell him that you love him? You didn’t really know, but you supposed you’d cross that bridge when you get there. In the meantime, you’ll continue working at the cafe during the day and then working on your songs during the night. 

Tonight was open mic night. Anyone can sign up and perform for the cafe. It was usually busy on these nights, so you didn’t have much time to enjoy the performances since you were hustling to make drinks. 

Your coworker Denise was the emcee tonight. So before and after every performance, she was there to announce the next act. Like now.

“Alright! Thank you, Kelly for the amazing cover of All Star. Now, our next performer is going to be singing an original, but not one he wrote. A special someone of his did. Anyway, let’s give it up for James!” the people sat around the small makeshift stage clapped and then gasped. You didn’t really care nor did you have the time to pause for a moment. You needed to get these drinks out.

“Iced matcha for Matt!” 

You hear the faint strumming of a guitar over the espresso machine. When you hear some all too familiar lyrics, you freeze. 

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

You excuse yourself from behind the counter. Your other coworkers not paying you any attention as you weave through the crowd, heading for the front of the stage.

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

You make eye contact with all too familiar eyes and the low melodious singing voice. There, sitting on the stool onstage is Bucky. He looks like he hasn’t slept and his clothes are disheveled. Did he just arrive from the airport?

Baby, Baby... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

You continue to be captivated as Bucky sings the rest of your song, replacing his name with Baby, like you had mentioned in your video to Steve. Wait, did Steve show him your video? 

After a few more minutes, Bucky finishes the song and the entire cafe erupts in applause and whistles. He nervously chuckles and thanks everyone for their time. Hopping off stage and towards you. 

Your heart is pounding out of your chest and you feel like you’re on the brink of fight or flight mode. Mostly flight. You want to run away but your feet are planted to the ground. 

“Hi,” Bucky says, standing right in front of you.

“Hi,” you mumble back. You feel everyone’s eyes on you and your anxiety is creeping.

“Um, is there somewhere private we can talk?”

You nod and have him follow you to the storage room. Again, your coworkers paying no attention because they’re too busy pushing out orders. 

The door is closed and you’re both just standing there awkwardly. Bucky clears his throat and sets his guitar to the side, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, “I, um, I miss you, and I understand, truly now, why you ignored me and eventually left. I mean, I think I understand? That song, that beautiful song, says a lot, but I still don’t know. I can only hope what you truly mean by it? I don’t know, I’m rambling. I didn’t really think all of this through.”

You shook your head and gave a deep breath, “I thought, from the way that you behaved around me and wanting to spend time with me, that maybe you had feelings for me. But then you’re flirting and talking to other women, so I thought maybe not, and then I did. You gave me a lot of mixed signals. I was gonna tell you that night that I loved you. Then I saw you with-with her and I was just heartbroken. I couldn’t face you after that, or the fact that you didn’t have feelings for me the way I do for you.”

“But I do have feelings for you, Y/N. I have for years and-and that night should’ve never happened. You said you were tired so we didn’t do our post-show ritual and I got stuck in this loneliness. I met..her at the hotel bar and brought her back because I needed to get over you. I loved you, but I couldn’t have you ‘cause we’re best friends. One thing led to another and yeah, I almost slept with her. Then you came in and everything went downhill from there. And I was a mess. 

“I don’t know if you remember, but that same night, I told you that I can’t live without you. And it’s true. I can’t live without you, Y/N. You’re my best friend, yeah, but you’re so much more than that.” he steps closer to you and cautiously take a hold of your hand, “I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/N, and I’m sorry for being confusing about my feelings for you. The truth is that I’m in love you. Period. No one else has made me feel the things that I feel for you.”

You sniffle, trying to hold the tears in your eyes from falling, but to no avail, they’re streaking down your cheeks. Bucky uses his thumb to wipe them away, hating that he’s causing you to cry.

“i really missed you, Bucky. I’m sorry I hurt you too.” you throw yourself into his arms and he tightens his hold on you. 

“Sssshhh. I forgive you, Y/N. I’m so, so, sorry. Ssshhh. It’ll be okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

____________________

1 Year Later

Bucky is standing front and center on stage, his guitar in hand while the rest of the band walk off stage, “Alright. Hello, everyone!” he smiles when people cheer back, “So, we’re gonna take things a little slow now. Some of you may know this song, and if you do, sing along.” he begins to play a few chords, but stops, “Actually, wait. I think I need a little help with this one. So can I have Y/N to the stage please?”

The crowd cheers as you enter from stage right, hurriedly walking towards Bucky, with an extra stool in your hands. You sit down next to him and he smiles.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You giggle, “Hey, Buck.”

“So you okay singing this song with me?”

“I mean yeah, I was the one who wrote it for you.” People scream out, knowing what song was coming up next.

“Right. Of course. Anyway, you ready?”

“Duh!” 

He looks out to the crowd, “Are you guys ready?”

“YEAH!”

Bucky starts to strum the chords, his eyes not focused on the guitar or the crowd, but you, as you’re sitting there beside him, hand holding up the mic, and engagement ring shining in the spotlight. 

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #marvel #au #rockstar au

[friendofhayley]

ship history meme

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

Tagged by the most gorgeous, smartest, sweetest, and kindest person in my life @sightetsound​ <3 Sorry y’all, I have a lot of hyperfixations and I’m on NyQuil!

1. Katsuki Bakugo and Eijiro Kirishima, My Hero Academia - I literally can’t watch Season 4 until it’s finished because my heart will Explode if I’m left on a cliffhanger involving these too!!! (Unbreakable T.T <3) I don’t usually like animes but I fell in love with his trash bastard and his soft rock boyfriend by the villain’s attack in S1. It all started when I got a TikTok because a Very Hot Bakugo cosplayer was on there. (Literally, their rendition of Bakugo is just, umph. They have appeared in my dream.). As she got more popular he started cosplaying more of Class 1-A of MHA, and I kept wondering?? What the fuck is this anime about?? Why is there an alien girl?? I soon gave in and watched the show to gain context to this thirst trap. I have so many feels for these boys, even though I don’t post on them much here, and T.T

2. Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters - I literally almost wrote my thesis because of this ship. I got into Shadowhunters because I was depressed in a foreign, racist country where I couldn’t go outside alone because old white men would corner me on the street, and everyone was talking about how Mike from Glee was kissing a guy at a wedding? Instead of partying during my study abroad trip, I gobbled down Malec content. And like who wouldn’t?? Harry Shum Jr. was playing a bisexual warlock?? And he had lines and a main character role??? An interracial couple where the characters are both POC?? Sign me up! But then I quickly fell in love with awkward gayby Alec and immediately knew how it felt to be in his shoes. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the show because I don’t want their story to end, but just seeing their wedding scene????? Tears!!!!!!!!!! Both wedding scenes! I-) I just love how soft they look at each as they realize how lucky they are to be able to fall in love against the odds. T.T They deserve the world and all the warlock and shadowhunter babies and T.T This is just going to devolve into me crying so-

3. Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, Teen Wolf - I got into Teen Wolf to escape the hellfire that had become the Glee fandom around S3-S4. (Tbh it might have been Dereklei’s constant Sterek content on my dash that led me to give in.) Stiles was bi (through subtext) and definitely turned on by an older werewolf. What more could a depressed Gleek ask for? And listen - now looking back, Sterek is definitely gay Twilight - if Bella was snarkier, had a mental illness, and also a personality. Sterek was the ship to get me back into writing fanfiction and where I could read paranormal characters working through PTSD, ADHD, and other mental illnesses while fighting monsters and having unrealistic sex! I also love those future fics where Beacon Hills isn’t a Hellmouth anymore, and everyone’s alive and just living as one big found family. Truly, Derek deserves the world and I love him so much, and Stiles definitely agrees.

4. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, One Direction - If it’s a surprise that I’m a dark larrie, please read my bio. HL made me believe that love is real and exists and can last for years. I got into One Direction in 2011 through a Lilo fanfic, but as soon as I watched the Video Diaries,,,we knew. Louis has saved my life in ways I can’t describe and the songs that they’ve written for each other through their tough times are so inspiring to listen and dance to. Seeing how they’ve been dragged apart by management, Sony Entertainment, and the whole music industry as a whole even though they exist in glass closets is very disheartening to see. But their resilience that they show through their art (Only the Brave, Sweet Creature, If I Could Fly, and like so many others) is always there. If you want to fall in this rabbit hole, look at freddieismyqueen on YT and come inside lol. Larry is real.

5. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee - the ship that got me on Tumblr! I didn’t start watching Glee until the summer before S2 came out. My whole choir was into it and I didn’t want to be “mainstream”, but Kurt was the first openly gay teen character that I saw on TV. When I heard a character played by Darren Criss, a musical theater YT legend from AVPM, I had to watch it. I ended up binging the first season with those Netflix DVDs during summer break (yeah remember when Netflix wasn’t streaming? lol). I watched every episode of that god-forsaken show the night of (or night after illegally, hidden from my parents) for that ship, and then me and my best friend would rant about it for the whole week: rinse and repeat. The episode they got together made me scream and I definitely put those Glee Rewind songs in my iPhone. (Fun fact: I used to cry at night because I wished someone like Kurt could love me like that because I heavily related to Blaine and his whole situation). I naturally stopped watching Glee the moment they broke them up and I’m still mad at their hasty attempt to marry them out of nowhere with no well-written getting together / make-up arc other than Jigsaw?? and a barn wedding?? As if Hummel would. What a trash fire. But dang, Glee fanfics have some of the dirtiest, kinkiest, forbidden fics out there. If you were ever on Glee_Kink_Meme on LJ, you know.

6. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter - the ship that started it all, the big kahuna, the ultimate enemies to lovers for 90s kids. Drarry got me into the fandom world in middle school, where I basically lived on FFN and LJ while pretending to do my homework. I used to get ready every day by watching the same playlist of “The best Harry Potter videos on Youtube!” (curated by Ariel333Lindt, who was the only queer person I knew but lived in Eastern Europe, where I could see two gay people kiss and fall in love in the safety of my room through badly photoshopped videos. Please check out that playlist). I just love how each fic is a microcosm where they have to construct how magical systems work, the backstories of pureblood families, creatures, or just wizarding culture for the end goal of having Drarry fuck and fall in love! I love redemption arcs that take 200k to achieve, I love dark!Harry takes, and every single different damn take on Narcissa, Pansy, and Millicent - because deep down that’s the writer trying to come to turns on whether or not Draco should be redeemed to get together with Harry. (I mean we all know they’re obsessed with each other, book 6 anyone?) I feel like Drarry fics have the best worldbuilding and characterizations of these characters, and I just love those moments when Draco and Harry take a moment to take a breath together and realize how far they’ve come. No one else can understand how it felt to be the pariah or the chosen one, they both interacted with Voldemort the most, and they have the most history together. They should have gotten together! But I mean the author’s dead, am I right?

So that was a lot! Those are all the ships that impacted me that I still participate with. They have shaped me for better or worse, and have made me learn more about who I am and what I want (or don’t want) in a relationship. This was the most fun essay I’ve ever written on NyQuil!

I’m tagging @homosociallyyours​ because I really want to know your fandom story! Also @stozierbrak​ because I love you and must hear you gush about your boys. I’m also tagging @iamaqualady​ because you’re literally the most intriguing person I know and I’m glad we’re friends even though we haven’t interacted that much? ish? 

#tag #me #kiribaku #drarry #sterek

[noahxbrice]

is that [DARREN CRISS]? no, that’s just [NOAH BRICE]. [HE] is [THIRTY-TWO] years old and is a [PHARMACIST AT CARE FIRST]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [HIS WHOLE LIFE]. on a good day, they’re [BALANCED & FREETHINKING]. but watch out! they can also be [IRRITABLE & INCONSIDERATE]. [DANCING WITH DEMONS BY PALISADES] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill! 

& here is my other muse, another that i haven’t had the chance to develop much just yet. i’ve had to tweak him quite a bit, so i’m still learning about him myself, but i’ve got the jist of him for sure. i also haven’t gotten his connects done yet, but he has been here his entire life, so lotssss of room for plots past & present. i’ll be hitting people up for plots that have liked mia’s post & that like noah here’s post as well. can’t wait to get my creative juices flowing !! 

                                                                        ~

FULL NAME: noah lee brice DOB | AGE: 01.06.88 | 32   OCCUPATION: pharmacist at care first  SEXUALITY: pansexual

        notable character traits + chummy, freethinking, focused, gallant, objective, personable, balanced -  daring, crass, cynical, gloomy, irresponsible, petty, irritable, inconsiderate

        hobbies & interests weed, ghost adventures & scary ghost movies, video games, collecting vinyls, fixing things, astronomy, darts, camping, paint balling

                                                       ~

( TW DEATH OF PARENT, ALCOHOLISM, ADDICTION & DEPRESSION, OVERDOSE

> springhill born & raised. growing up, he was definitely a bit of a trouble maker - ok, not a bit, he was definitely a trouble maker. teasing others, not to be mean, but to be funny. he’d skip class & encourage whoever else to do it with him. he often found himself in detention or iss, but despite his behavior, he’s actually pretty smart. well, book smart, anyways. even as an adult, he tends to live life on the edge & when he knows he shouldn’t do something, it makes him want to do it more. 

> TW ADDICTION, DEPRESSION, DEATH OF PARENT, & OVERDOSING noah has been on his own since he was 17. his father bounced when he was 4, so he never really knew him & his mother was always struggling with depression, addiction to a couple of different drugs & alcohol for a period of time. he was always taking care of her instead of the other way around. because of this, he had to grow up a lot quicker than he should’ve. his mom never seemed to want to accept his help though despite his efforts. he wasn’t surprised when he came home to find she’d overdosed on heroin. he was 17. 

> after his mothers passing, he worked to try to keep paying the bills ( his mother hadn’t arranged any sort of life insurance or anything, so noah hadn’t gotten much from her death other than all the junk in the tiny house he grew up in ), but after a few months, the house was taken away from him & he was homeless for a good period of time. he bounced between sleeping on friends couches, but he wasn’t opposed to sleeping on a park bench when he’d felt like a burden to them. he got irresponsible with his money during that time & instead of saving, he’d buy weed ( bc of his mother, he stays away from drinking too much & doesn’t touch anything but weed ).

> he got his own place, officially, when he was 19. he made money selling weed & night stoking at springhill groceries. he still sells to this day, but the quality of what he sells in much better. he hadn’t really started to make money until he began bartending - a job that was easiest to get for him when he turned 21, that provided better money. tips were great & he was able to move out of his tiny, run down, studio apartment & into an actual one bedroom apartment that didn’t have water stains on the ceiling or holes in the walls. he was really proud about that. 

> a few student loans later & he was able to put himself through schooling to become a pharmacist, a career field he was mildly interested in, but when he was told how well it paid, he was all in. much to even his own surprise, he got through a pharmacy tech program easily & began working as a pharmacy tech at care first. he went back to school to go through the rest of the motions to get where he wanted. by age 29, he was a certified pharmacist. 

> as mentioned a few paragraphs above, he still deals, but only deals weed. he manages to get his hands on medical marijuana which makes for some great extra money that he throws back into weed for his own use. 

> he’s obviously not a very responsible guy. he even tends to be a bit childish, but knows when to cool it - like for work, especially. anyone that might see him at work would be surprised to see him being so professional and kept together. despite his irresponsibility, he intends on keeping his job & therefore he can’t fuck that up.

> TW DEPRESSION he’s a very guys guy. outgoing & friendly though he does deal with depression. for the most part, he’s very good at hiding it from people, but he can get very gloomy from time to time. if asked about his mood though, he brushes it off & puts a smile on his face.

C O N N E C T I O N S

literally anything & everything?? always up for some brainstorming !!

some friends he’s known since high school - ones that let him sleep on their couches after noah lost his childhood home friends ex’s - male & female high school sweetheart people that buy from him people that don’t get along well with him tinder matches past & current hook ups potential love interests, so a crush ???

#springhillintro #( ❛ noah ❜ | musings )

[d-criss-news]

Royalties Soundtrack Listening Event | Darren Criss Chat (July 7th, 2020)

Darren Criss 18:02:04

wait ha

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Darren Criss 18:02:08

sorry yall

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Darren Criss 18:02:12

this is confusing me of course

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Darren Criss 18:02:29

this is new for me too friends

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Darren Criss 18:02:45

well i'm here but I can't hear shit so gimme a sec

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Darren Criss 18:04:00

well I'll just keep typing here guys

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Darren Criss 18:04:04

bro

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Darren Criss 18:04:07

wilma

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Darren Criss 18:04:15

i'm tryin

Darren Criss 18:04:57

21kxuv372ubcprrbpiefadt6i

What was your favorite song to write for the show?

They each were really fun so that's hard to say but Hate That I Need You surprised the hell outta me

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Darren Criss 18:05:30

bettic72

darren non capisco un cazzo

anchio pero sti cazzi siamo qui

Darren Criss 18:05:49

genevievephillips

point and laugh at darren

yes let's laugh at him

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Darren Criss 18:06:18

2162bkuccm7xje6yfgmuzrnyq

You inspired me to write my own songs 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

thanks for writing the first positive thing I've seen on this. That's wonderful! I hope to hear them!

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Darren Criss 18:06:43

clo :)

i love that we are all grandparents when it comes to this

thank you for using the appropriate WE pronouns ha yeah this shit is confusing

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Darren Criss 18:08:44

zcvmtsgee5mom80oxeesa4v11

Darren how do you deal with stage fright .... i’ve been preforming in front of people for a while and i i still get scared . Does it ever go away ?

i guess it depends on how big the crowd is. everybody's different but I will say any kind of fright means you care, which is a good thing! Also the thing people forget about performing, for the most part, is you can't SEE the audience, most of the time they're in the dark. That's why performing for friends or in a small space where you can see everyone is much more nerve-racking

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Darren Criss 18:08:57

Dana

Darren can we have a royalties tour once rona is over???

wouldn't that be fun!

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Darren Criss 18:09:15

emilybutcher30

darren can you start streaming on twitch please haha i love you

ha can't compete with King Urie man

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Darren Criss 18:10:06

jake2000w

Darren, I know it’s all weird right now, but do you have any idea when we might see Nerdy Prudes Must Die?

what a good question. I have no idea but I've been wanting to see that show for almost as long as I've wanted to make Royalties. The boys have been talking about that one for a while now.

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Darren Criss 18:10:16

jesiqseigle56

Can you like respond .

like yeah

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Darren Criss 18:10:27

abbyforsmark

has Darren even said anything on this?

nope nothing

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Darren Criss 18:12:39

u6iczx4gua0att2g4kd2vdzwe

Did you write each of the songs with the performers in mind or did you cast them afterwards?

great question. Except for "Also You," which was written with Jackie Tohn for Jackie Tohn, we had no idea who would sing each song. I did the demos for almost all of them and then we had to pitch actors/artists to see if they'd be interested... which wasn't as hard (luckily) as seeing if they were AVAILABLE... which many weren't given the short time we had to make the show. Hopefully we can get some of those folks on for the next season IF THEY'LL LET US HAVE ONE!

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Darren Criss 18:13:52

delfi

darren royalties is so good i'm fucking proud of you

thanks for watching it, truly. I know the Quibi thing is strange for people so I appreciate you giving it all a chance : )

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Darren Criss 18:14:04

Caitlyn A :)

if you see this kick your shoes off

I would but no shoes

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Darren Criss 18:14:27

t59glm18dkw84n64l72jcuvpc

come to the uk challenge

god i wish.

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Darren Criss 18:15:39

damn someone said "travel to UK challenge" and I meant to respond "find a vaccine challenge"

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Darren Criss 18:17:08

i can't hear any of these songs but I"m just gonna start saying random shit about them

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Darren Criss 18:17:16

first off, i really wanted a theme song

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Darren Criss 18:17:23

that was a whole thing

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Darren Criss 18:19:18

Had to cut through a lot of red tape to make sure we had that silly song in there. We were already in the middle of post production when I finally got it approved, but it had to be under 15 seconds. I wrote 3 diff versions. So glad it ended up working. Theme songs accomplish so much in such a short period of time. Establishes tone. Gives the audience an almost Pavlovian response to the familiarity of the characters... I'm happy with it

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Darren Criss 18:20:12

also the "doo doo doo" lyrics are meant to sound like "scratch vocals" when songwriters record vocals with temporary gibberish lyrics with the intent of filling them in with real ones later

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Darren Criss 18:22:29

Just That Good was a concept that started the entire 1st season, and it was one of those instant-songs where Nick and Matt told me the title and I immediately had the hook just from those words. That only happens every once in a while and I was so happy it did for that song. The tricky part was writing the rest of it, but the back half of the song with the chorus repeating that one refrain over and over- that was the melody from the get go

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Darren Criss 18:23:08

I'll get back to Break it In, kick your shoes/let your hair, and kong later... i'll just go off on this one

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Darren Criss 18:23:48

so I wanted to nod to the grandeur of everyone's favorite vampire elf, Jared Leto

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Darren Criss 18:24:05

not HIM specifically, but 30 seconds to mars' very BIG music videos

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Darren Criss 18:24:29

i dont jared is a buncha self centered nutcases like our guys in SWITCHBACK JACKET

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Darren Criss 18:24:37

* i don't think Jared... 

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Darren Criss 18:25:38

anyway yeah "so much better..." comes from a lot of the 90s alt rock that I grew up on, and the mix of that sound with a bit of electronic production was an effort to contemportize it as much as possible

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Darren Criss 18:26:26

but the rhythm guitar, lots of power chords and high octaves were all harkening to my fave bands like Lit and Eve 6... but put through a strange bizzaro nickleback/creed performance filter

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Darren Criss 18:26:55

"make you come true" is obviously a very salacious play on words

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Darren Criss 18:28:27

so the only way to make it feel earnest is if we made the track itself sexy as possible. A lot of the songs, even without being written, leant themselves to a certain genre just by the title, and this one was kind of a no-brainer. Sexy mid tempo r&b. And I didn't even know we'd get Jordan Fisher to do it- who SMASHED the vocal.

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Darren Criss 18:29:42

lauraacampbell-12

DARREN CHORDS OR LYRICS FIRST WHEN WRITING A SONG?

it's different every time but for this show specifically it's always title/idea first, and then the song comes from there. But that's because we're writing a show, so we have the luxury of getting to write from a specific place. It's much harder to do that in your own life when you just want to pull a title/idea from your own experience of life. I commend people that do that all the time.

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Darren Criss 18:30:06

what's NUTS about prizefighter is...

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Darren Criss 18:30:24

it was originally a song called LONG RANGER that BONNIE MCKEE sang, who I wrote the song with

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Darren Criss 18:30:38

and in the video we had CHRISSY TIEGEN lipsynching

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Darren Criss 18:30:44

it was bananas

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Darren Criss 18:31:26

we ultimately couldn't use the song because of some complicated writers shit- not too dissimilar from the things we explore in our own show, which is just totally ironic.

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Darren Criss 18:32:56

we were so bummed that we couldn't use the song but I'm actually really really happy with PRIZEFIGHTER. I love the song, and I love how it turned out production wise. I love how much of a massive influence latin x rhythms have had across the entire spectrum of mainstream music, so I wanted try my own hand at nodding to it!

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Darren Criss 18:33:08

Lara :)!

Ahhhhh so was that the pilot song you were talking about last week?

that's the one

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Darren Criss 18:33:45

hbz3jctrg5rwwma640hahffvt

You have inspired me to learn piano I already know how to play teanage dream now

you can thank Bonnie Mckee aka Kimmy Kelly for writing that song!

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Darren Criss 18:34:01

ok then there's the k pop song

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Darren Criss 18:34:08

honestly i had no idea where I was gonna start on this one

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Darren Criss 18:34:22

full props to the brilliant CJ Baran who I wrote this song with

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Darren Criss 18:34:39

we were just toying around with very industrial-sounding samples

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Darren Criss 18:35:21

and I started singing Edvard Grieg's "in the hall of the mountain king"

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Darren Criss 18:35:33

and he was the guy that was like YEAH JUST PUT IT IN THERE

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Darren Criss 18:35:46

and i realized, oh yeah, that song is public domain

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Darren Criss 18:35:59

and kinda ties perfectly to the nature of Elia Peck and his songwriting... huh.

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Darren Criss 18:36:05

So we went for it from there.

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Darren Criss 18:36:17

based the lyrics off of what the Neals say in the room.

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Darren Criss 18:36:34

and then just wrote a bunch of ALMOST nonense lyrics about things that you could HATE that you NEED

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Darren Criss 18:36:40

things like available wifi...

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Darren Criss 18:37:01

artistinal mai-tais.... yeah I guess if you really really liked those you could HATE that you NEED them...

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Darren Criss 18:37:04

etc etc

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Darren Criss18:38:16

but the idea was to have Mariam Hale's character hardly do ANYTHING on the track, since she, as the audience sees, doesn't really have much to offer... so we just built it around this huge track with crazy lyrics that just tees up a tag for her to say without even having to sing: I HATE THAT I NEED YOU

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Darren Criss18:38:43

2235n5s2qk5hjsujbhk5ilpva

I have classes in 10 minutes, and I'm not leaving until you dedicate a Royalties song to me.

looks like you're gonna miss calss

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Darren Criss 18:39:09

"calss" ha. which is like "class" but like... different.

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Darren Criss 18:39:32

alrighty PERFECT SONG

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Darren Criss 18:39:38

i really love this song as well

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Darren Criss 18:40:02

the reveal of this song is that they keep talking about this "perfect song" they've written

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Darren Criss 18:40:26

in other words we're teeing up a pretty big expectation of what a perfect song could possibly sound like

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Darren Criss 18:40:36

the reveal of course is that the song itself is in fact just called "perfect song"

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Darren Criss 18:40:43

which is ABOUT a perfect song

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Darren Criss 18:41:07

and about TRYING TO WRITE a perfect song, and how that's not necessary when you have someone that IS the perfect song

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Darren Criss 18:41:20

when we wrapped our heads around that idea, I really loved it 

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Darren Criss 18:42:10

you'll notice we reference a lot of incredible songs, almost citing them as perfect songs themselves

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Darren Criss 18:42:14

ain't no mountain high enough

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Darren Criss 18:42:55

of course leonard cohen's seminal Hallelujah

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Darren Criss 18:44:05

and of course Britney's Oops I Did It Again ha ;)

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Darren Criss 18:45:00

the Oops being a layered joke of being annoyed with oneself that they AGAIN unwittingly wrote a lyric for already massive song, but in doing so citing yet ANOTHER already massive song... if that makes any sense

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Darren Criss 18:45:27

sorry for the typos yall i'm moving fast, i'd never let this shit slide if it wasn't a casual chatroom vibe

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Darren Criss 18:46:37

emzlolly1234

Did you know you wanted there to be a romantic thing between pierce and Sara?? :))))

yes that was actually our original "pilot presentation" episode. the one with the song LONE RANGER and Chrissy Tiegen. It was a longer version of what would become episode 7. We THINK it's a romantic thing but you realize that Sara is just playing Pierce to get the song she needs. That was always the premise yes.

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Darren Criss 18:46:51

luzmargotramos

if you reply with a single dot I'd probably die

then I better steer clear of any dots

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Darren Criss 18:47:04

ALSO YOU was an amazing lightning in a bottle moment

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Darren Criss 18:47:09

FULL CREDIT TO JACKIE TOHN

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Darren Criss 18:47:22

i always enjoy giving credit where credit is due

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Darren Criss 18:48:24

and I came in pretty hot for most of the songs- concepts, chords, style... but this one literally was a simple as Jackie Sitting down and just playing "It's you I love but also you and also you and also you."

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Darren Criss 18:48:37

we all just looked at each other going, welp, yup, that's it, jackie you fuckin rule

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Darren Criss 18:49:28

the song would have ended up very differently if she hadn't brought that to the table. the original episode and song was "one true loves" which isn't nearly as good of a gag/title as "also you"

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Darren Criss 18:49:50

i ended up squeezing "one true loves" into the bridge, but of course, kept ALSO YOU as the main event

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Darren Criss 18:50:02

i will say I was also trying to spoof my brother's old band, FREELANCE WHALES a little bit

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Darren Criss 18:50:26

if you guys know the song "generator first floor" where they sing ay ay ay ay ay a lot...

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Darren Criss 18:50:35

... as a lot of bands and songs had featured at the time...

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Darren Criss 18:51:00

i wanted to put them all in one joke. where a band sang not only hey hey hey but ay and EE and AYE and OH and basically all the vowels

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Darren Criss 18:51:10

which was where the joke of,

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Darren Criss 18:51:20

a, e, i, o, and also u

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Darren Criss 18:51:21

came from

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Darren Criss 18:51:32

which i'm particularly proud of

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Darren Criss 18:51:56

ok let's talk about BREAK IT IN

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Darren Criss 18:54:16

lxucxthxrxnx_

I’m a musician myself (not that great lol) what was it like coming up with the melodic side did you play any instruments for the songs?

i played instruments on all the songs except Break It In and I Hate That I Need You, since those were all electronic. That's not to say i played EVERY instrument but I definitely played AN instrument of some kind for the others.

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Darren Criss 18:55:34

as for break it in... anyway... yeah that was a blast. Nick Lang and I collaborated with my buddy Kendo who goes by the artist name KingJet.

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Darren Criss 18:56:54

Kendo has worked on a lot of legit songs in the hip hop space. For each song I wanted to make sure there was a level of authenticity to what we were doing. I didn't wanna SPOOF the songs. I wanted the songs to sound rock solid and that it would be the LYRICAL CONCEPTS that would be the source of satire. So Kendo was a great guiding light to keep the track as authentic as possible.

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Darren Criss 18:59:47

We explained to Kendo the whole joke concept of the song, which is basically just turning the idea of toxic masculinity on its head, and he was on top of it immediately- when we told him that there's this guy that's really concerned that people think he "fucks too soft" he immediately started spitting out lyrics like the hilariously defiant "I'm the KING OF THE HARD FUCK"

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Darren Criss 19:00:35

which just killed me and Nick. It was just so juvenile that it was adorable to me

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Darren Criss 19:00:57

emzlolly1234

Darren you’ve been here for an hour? That’s the length of royalties man xxx

yeah aint it great

Darren Criss 19:02:21

sophie :)

i personally think you should try your hand at writing a drill song, a british genre of rap that centres around rapping unrelated lyrics in front of chicken shops, personally think it has the right tone for the show for a season two

drill would be siq. I mean, opening the incredible pandora's box of UK based hip hop in general is its own magical wormhole of nuance and history and regional culture. it's amazing. i'd really have to do some homework if I wanted to pull that off!

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Darren Criss 19:02:49

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

ok sorry i'll stop

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Darren Criss 19:02:51

:)

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Darren Criss 19:03:03

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

kidding!

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Darren Criss 19:03:39

fsheldens

when darren actually cares about us 🥺

awww i always do! I just wasn't built for internet stuff.

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Darren Criss 19:04:20

alpermehdi

speaking of nick how was it to work with nick??

the best. Nick is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

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Darren Criss 19:04:51

chloe :)!

what would be ur karaoke song choice from the show?

mighty as kong

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Darren Criss 19:07:32

isa.kowo

How much music theory goes into your songwriting? And did you learn all of it from playing the violin? In what way does it go into your songs?

all GREAT questions. I mean, music theory isn't something you CONSCIOUSLY employ when writing something, it's just that it really helps to know the rules or music when shaping it and trying to maximize its production. And as a matter of fact, yeah, I DID learn most of it playing violin. But when I was playing violin I was ingesting music from the perspective of a student ingesting information, not as a proactive creator putting anything of my own out into the world.

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Darren Criss 19:08:07

Honestly I really didn't start UNDERSTANDING music theory until I started writing music for other people, and noticing certain things and chords and shapes had names and that they could be manipulated to accomplish certain things

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Darren Criss 19:08:35

so most of my academic musical knowledge came in my 20s when I tried to start doing it professionally

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Darren Criss 19:08:52

Nick

first instrument you ever learnt?

violin

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Darren Criss 19:09:07

andyruiz080

I'm castin' my love net wide And fillin' every hole in my schedule

ha love that line

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Darren Criss 19:09:29

missweggy

Darren are you a big queen fan ( the band lol ) 😂

is the pope catholic

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Darren Criss 19:12:00

ChloeOmelia

Now its available, would you change anything?

jesus so much. but such is the nature of creating stuff. there's a great Hayao Miyazaki quote about always having to make new stuff to escape the woe of all the mistakes you made in your last thing... I mean, that's a bit extreme, I feel like we did the best we could given the circumstance but I totally get where Miyazaki is coming from. And in many ways that's everything we do in life. Do your best, know what you coulda done better and carry on

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Darren Criss 19:12:36

dj._.quackers

who or what was your biggest inspiration growing up

the beatles. the uk. the 60s.

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Darren Criss 19:13:02

Astriddd

Your first original song was "Not Alone". I'm right?

no it was actually a song i wrote in the third grade when I got a guitar for Christmas called "Save The Whales"

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Darren Criss 19:14:29

hiiqsbo9358wvfkcjcsgsu4lb

Darren I need an answer it’s been annoying me for days. So was everyone fucking everyone in Pierces old band or was she just fucking everyone seperately??

ha that's a really great question. I figured she was just fucking everyone individually, which is why the band was so contentious but then again I'd rather let your imagination run wild...

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Darren Criss 19:15:29

jphxxk5wjnaqnhuv806wmohdt

Darren, I love your taste in music. You should share your personal playlists ... bc everybody needs to know phantom planet 😉

if i actually shared my tastes in music, or actually shared the amount of stuff in my brain at the rate that I want to share, I would never work on or create anything because i would constantly be on the internet and you'd all be over me if you weren't already

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Darren Criss 19:16:01

But yes, thank you for saying that, I love me my phantom planet oh so very much :)

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Darren Criss 19:16:18

juli.nuttini

could you please answer me I don't speak English and I'm putting ALL my effort into asking you questions I'm going to cry

wow your english is actually pretty great

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Darren Criss 19:17:08

I'd like to write a song with Howard Ashman

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Darren Criss 19:17:23

dancebaby218

Was kick your shoes off inspired by your Hedwig shoes?

nah cuz that shit was actually comfy

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Darren Criss 19:17:55

12169199549

i skipped my clarinet class because of you for the third time :) what can i say to my teacher?

that Darren says you should have gone to clarinet class!!!

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Darren Criss 19:18:34

qalektvmexab6gfwibfihwu6b

Could you please answer me. We’ve supported you for years from the uk and we’re staying up for this but it’s totally worth it because you’re amazing!! Molly x

I wish so bad I could go to the UK!

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Darren Criss 19:20:01

FUCK someone asked about Sam Farrar and I wanted to answer it but it disappeared... Sam is a homie. one of my very first songwriting sessions was with him and a very famous member of the pop universe... who if I get a season two, I'm putting in the show.

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Darren Criss 19:22:00

9nc1yow3iwnp9p3fs4gcvdnsf

what other instruments would you like to learn in the future?

i just need to spend time trying to get better at the ones I've plateaued with. I feel like I got as good as I'd ever get on the guitar when i was like 19. So I've been trying to get better during the Quarantine. Picked up my violin and dusted off that Vivaldi, started doing drum rudiments on my drum pad, and started learning new licks and scales for guitar. Stuff I never got round to doing.

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Darren Criss 19:22:27

harefraz

mr. criss sir, what is your top quarantine activity?

playing music

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Darren Criss 19:23:26

actually lies. top quarantine activity is learning Japanese. 30 minutes a day. And it's been several months. Almost got Hiragana down, still got a few characters I'm questionable with but with any luck I'll start up on Katakana in the next few weeks.

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Darren Criss 19:23:40

224abi6avvottcsacto7vx46a

What about working with Mark hamill ? Insane right

you said it

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Darren Criss 19:23:54

t7sxis7855cd329gaa6iyty8v

Any updates on American Buffalo? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

it's opening next year!

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Darren Criss 19:24:09

for the record this is really fun I'm enjoying this guys

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Darren Criss 19:26:26

Rachael

How different is it doing a show like Royalties where you're heavily involved in the creative process compared to other projects you've done in the past?

i'd say night and day but that's an understatement. When I did Glee all I had to do was act in scenes, record songs, and go to dance rehearsal. With Royalties, it's that AND casting, doing pre production, post production, notes, meetings, notes, writing and producing songs, location scouting, blah blah blah lots of the stuff that you don't have to worry about if you're not a creator. But make no mistake I absolutely love it.

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Darren Criss 19:27:41

Aisha

learn spanish

I'll get there. I already speak a bit of Italian so I wanted the challenge of learning something that didn't use a writing system I already understood.

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Darren Criss 19:28:23

rosieellenxx_

I take Music Technology as a subject at school and we have to make a whole song with the sole sample of glass breaking...

sounds fun. loads of things you can do with that.

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Darren Criss 19:28:48

21ynx6niidf2amx5nzilihsga

What are your goals for once quarantine is lifted?

hopefully to feel like I used this very strange time well.

—

Darren Criss 19:29:14

Ok I should probabl get outta here right?

—

Darren Criss 19:29:41

I've talked a lot about mighty as kong in other places

—

Darren Criss 19:30:00

so I'll just leave you with a story about "Let Your Hair Down"

—

Darren Criss 19:30:14

which was the very FIRST song we wrote for the show

—

Darren Criss 19:30:37

I had a meeting with an artist at a dive bar in the middle of the afternoon

—

Darren Criss 19:31:10

let's just say I showed up to that very first writer's session very late

—

Darren Criss 19:31:17

and sober ENOUGH

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Darren Criss 19:31:41

wktusw4mcjn910r3eq91zg4k5

darren did you watch hamilton??????

duh last night. so fun.

—

Darren Criss 19:32:17

anyway I was so relieved that we left with that song at the end of the day. The intent was always to write two songs with the exact same concepts just with different titles

—

Darren Criss 19:32:50

the chords are the same, just slightly different voicings played on slightly different instruments

—

Darren Criss 19:33:29

and the idea was that whichever song was funnier, or at least whichever song would be more fun to see in a music video... would be the one that Pierce & Sara write

—

Darren Criss 19:34:08

"Kick Your Shoes Off" ended up feeling more like a full music video than "Let Your Hair Down" but I LOVE that first song, and hopefully people get to hear the whole thing on Spotify since you don't get to hear the whole song in the episode

—

Darren Criss 19:34:51

with lines I love like "see my cheekbones, show off my clavicle, I bet you've never seen a ponytail to magical..."

—

Darren Criss 19:35:39

emilybutcher30

i love that u spelled it sara not sarah

thank you. if you don't already know it, check out Ben Folds' "Zak and Sara"

—

Darren Criss 19:36:01

OK i gotta get going

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Darren Criss 19:36:12

but thanks to everyone from all over the world for joining

—

Darren Criss 19:36:17

i see you and i say hi to you!

—

Darren Criss 19:36:23

happy birthday to all the bday kids!

—

Darren Criss 19:36:33

thank you for spending a little bit of your bday with me

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Darren Criss 19:36:39

thanks for checking out Royalties

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Darren Criss 19:36:46

hope you enjoy the music

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Darren Criss 19:36:53

and hope there gets to be a season 2!!!

—

Darren Criss 19:37:08

xo to all of you. stay safe, stay inspired. - Darren

#darren criss #royalties ost listening event #spotify #royalties #july 2020 #posting as text since it's soooo much easier than posting screencaps #royalties bts

[hopelesslydevotedshipping]

Something I always wanted to do

Fandom: Chris Colfer/Darren Criss, RPF

Rating: T

Word count: ~3100 words

Summary: Fun and games on a road trip.

A/N: Why this fic? Because sometimes I need joy and love and sunshine. I create what I need. That’s why… Also can I just say how much I’ve missed writing for this pairing? All the crazy flirty banter that always comes with this pairing is just fun to imagine into existence.

—

The campus is dead silent. It’s one of those few weeks towards end of summer, between the end of previous semester and the beginning of next, when there isn’t anyone there. They wouldn’t be here either if it weren’t for the road trip taking them right past Darren’s alma mater — or not really right past it, but close enough for Chris to indulge him.

It isn’t much of a detour, even if it was unplanned. It won’t be much of time wasted either for what Darren promised to be the abso-fucking-lutely tastiest pancakes in the whole wide world, something which Chris is slightly dubious about, considering that this is the first time he heard of them. Chris loves pancakes though, and he loves Darren even more than he loves pancakes. So it isn’t much of a sacrifice to indulge him.

(Chris strongly suspects that Darren knows exactly what strings to pull to get him to agree. He also suspects that Darren has more than just pancakes in his mind — at least if the flash of mischievous glint in Darren’s eyes is anything to go by.)

While the pancakes don’t quite live up to the hype, as expected, the company more than makes up for it. There is something utterly adorable with Darren reliving his college years, the bounty of stories, each more ridiculous than the last, each recounted with a blazing bright smile. It really, really isn’t much of a sacrifice at all, to be right here with him.

Chris smiles through all of it, through every single word. He can’t hide how much he loves this man, he doesn't even try. He knows Darren sees it too. He knows it from the way that Darren’s eyes grow darker upon looking at him, the way that Darren’s hand seek to hold his over the diner table, the way that Darren’s lips curve into a twisty smile. Chris doesn’t mind any of it.

By the time that they are done with their pancakes, Darren seems to be done with his nostalgia trip too — or so Chris thought. 

They step out of the diner. Darren takes Chris’ hand, lacing their fingers together between them and looks up into Chris’ eyes again.

”Come. There is something I always wanted to do.”

It started out as a joke months ago when they began planning their trip. They’ve said it dozens of times since, enough for it to have become what this trip is all about, doing things that they always wanted to do, things that they’ve never done before.

They’ve done a lot of things — together and separately — which is why there is a lot of qualifiers and specifics involved. They had been to a road trip before, but never outside California. They had been to plenty of hotels before, but never splurged on a seriously expensive suite only to sleep in the car the following night. They had been to skinny dipping, but never in broad day light in a small lake in middle of nowhere.

(The skinny dipping obviously being Darren's idea.)

It may have started out as a joke, but it has grown into much more. It's almost like a game of dare — just for the two of them. This is why there is only one answer that Chris can give.

”Okay.”

They walk in companionable silence side-by-side — hand-in-hand — through the campus. Perhaps Chris is too distracted by the way that the light breeze ruffles Darren’s curls or the way that the brightness of the sun makes his eyes crinkle. Perhaps it has been too long since the last time Chris has been there with Darren, because it takes him a while until he realizes where they are headed. When he does, he breathes out a laugh.

“The library? You want to go to the library? Because I'm seriously beginning to question your education, if you've never been to the library.”

"No, I don't just want to go to the library," Darren responds, his lips twisting into a cheeky smile, “I want to make out at the library.”

Chris gives Darren a look, but it doesn’t stop Darren. Of course, it doesn’t. He just keeps walking, tugging Chris along.

”You’re really serious about this?”

“Fuck yeah,” Darren says, glancing at Chris over his shoulder.

Chris knows he is playing a losing game by questioning this. He knows he can’t decline what Darren is offering, especially not when Darren keeps looking at him like he does, smiling like he does, especially when he is offering a hot make-out session in the very near future. Still, he keeps playing, keeps challenging Darren, because it’s a part of the thrill.

"Are you honestly telling me that you’ve never made out in the library — in all your years here?” Chris asks, looking straight at Darren with a single eyebrow raised, as they arrive to the steps of the building.

Darren laughs upon Chris’ words, his eyes squinting adorably, and rushes ahead to hold the door open. Throwing a wink at Chris, he replies, “No, I did, but I missed an aisle.”

Chris almost hates how smooth Darren can be. He would hate him if he didn’t love him so much.

He steps past Darren into the building, taking it all in. He has been plenty of times on the campus with Darren, he has even walked by the library a few times, but he has never been inside.

The library is  — as all libraries are — quiet. He thinks he can hear someone stacking books somewhere in the maze of bookshelves, but he can’t see a single soul. He can only see rows upon rows of bookshelves, flooded in the light beaming through the large windows.

His eyes still roaming around the main hall, Chris feels Darren coming to stand beside him. He feels a hand come to rest on his lower back, like a silent reminder of where they left off, of why they are here.

He can’t help himself. He turns towards Darren, leans in closer and says with his voice low and hushed, barely a breath against Darren’s ear, “You missed an aisle? It better be a good one, because I don’t just make out in any aisle.”

“Oh, I think your going to like it,” Darren replies in kind.

Darren pulls back enough to take a quick look around the library, before taking Chris’ hand again. He begins to lead them through the maze, zigzagging between the rows with clear determination.

He really does have a specific place in mind for this make-out session. 

Chris wants to laugh at the thought, but before he can, Darren rounds a corner and comes to an abrupt halt. With a quick tug of the hand, he pushes Chris against the bookshelf, crowding him in. His lips are on Chris' before Chris can say a single thing. 

They have kissed countless times. They have kissed good morning and goodnight. They have kissed goodbye and welcome back. They have kissed please forgive me and I love you so, so much. They have kissed short, chaste in greeting and congratulation. They have kissed long, slow, luxuriating in the feel of simmering heat. They have kissed raw, dirty, rushed in the need of each other. They have kissed with countless meanings and manners.

It is why Chris' breath catches at his throat with the way that Darren is kissing him now. They have kissed enough times for Chris to know when Darren means business. And he does now, as made evident by the nip of the teeth on Chris' lower lip.

"Shit," Chris breathes against Darren's lips between kisses, "You're really serious about this?"

Chris doesn't even know why he is asking, but to be fair, his mind is never at its sharpest when Darren's lips are on him. It's challenging enough to even form words and sentences, when he's kissing Chris like he is kissing him.

Maybe it has something to do with the unexpectedness of this that he does ask. Maybe. Maybe it doesn't matter at all, especially if Darren keeps kissing him just like that.

Darren huffs a laugh against Chris' lips and says, “I’m always serious about make-outs.”

And Darren really, really is serious about this make-out session.

Chris feels an arm slip around his waist, pressing him against Darren a little more insistently. He feels the other hand steady his hip. He feels lips trail from his lips down to his neck. He feels so much.

Darren is sucking on his pulse point, and it's all going so fast that Chris is struggling to keep up. He is struggling to act, to think. He is struggling to breathe with how fast it is going.

"We're going to get caught," Chris says, trying  —  hopelessly? desperately!  —  to cool things down.

His voice sounds weak, breathless even to his own ears. It is weak — as weak as his resistance.

Despite his words words, he doesn’t push Darren away. He can't because the way Darren is working his neck is really working for him. It really, really is. It is making him warm, hot all over.

(Damn Darren and his unfair skills in turning Chris' into a needy mess in seconds, not minutes! Damn the years of practice he has had in doing exactly that!)

Darren pulls away, only enough to say, "Controlled danger, babe. You said you like it."

And then, the lips are on Chris' neck again. The hand on his lower back slips down to his ass. The sharp edges of the shelves are digging into his back in most uncomfortable way, but Chris doesn't care, not with how Darren grinds against him, how he keeps grinding too. He doesn't care about much at all when Darren is doing exactly what he is doing to him.

Chris is so wholly lost in the moment that he doesn't notice it, until he does, the clack, clack, clack of high heels tapping against stone floors. Steps somewhere not too far from them. 

"No, we're really going to get caught."

Chris’ words are only a whisper, as he pushes Darren away with the hand on his shoulder and turns towards the sound. Darren relents, pulling away, but only a little. His hips remain against Chris’, and his hand slides to the waist.

They stay silent and still. They stay close together.

They aren't getting caught though, not right now at least. The footsteps come near, maybe an aisle or a couple away from them, before they stop, turn and go away.

Chris is still looking towards the sound of the retreating footsteps, when he feels the soft, warm hand come to cradle his jaw. He turns to look at Darren, finding him staring straight at him, his eyes dark, his lips parted and so very close.

"You're the most gorgeous man I have ever seen."

And Darren says it with such conviction that it steals Chris' breath away  —  or whatever is left of it. He doesn't give him time to catch it before diving in for another kiss, as deep and demanding as before, if not more.

Chris responds to him immediately, almost instinctively, as he always does, as they always do with each other. 

With a gentle nudge of his thumb on Darren’s shoulder, he urges the arm to wrap around him, sliding his own around Darren too. He shifts his hips, his legs so that he is closer, when Darren shifts closer too. He tilts his chin down and allows Darren to press into the kiss with all the insistence and eagerness that he carries now.

He moves, and Darren move too – in this dance of the push and pull in how they kiss when they can truly kiss.

It's so easy for Chris to get lost to it, to be kissed by Darren, to be held by him. It's easy for Darren too, it seems, because they are both so into it that they don't even hear the steps until they are close, too close. Chris — only slightly panicked — pushes Darren off him, who stumbles back more than a little stunned. He looks to the side, catching only a glimpse of the girl walking by their aisle.

Chris turns back to look at Darren who is still looking away, still breathing hard. When he turns to Chris again, they share a look that turns into a breathless laughter.

His heart is still hammering in his chest with the rush of joy and thrill, even as their laughter simmers down. He looks into Darren's eyes a little longer, before he reaches for him. His hand slide down the bare forearm, down to intertwine his fingers with Darren's. His voice is soft, fond, as he says, "We really have to stop before we really, really get caught."

Chris really means it, despite the softness, despite the twinge of amusement seeping into his words. He has to mean it, because if they keep this up, they will most definitely get caught — probably with his pants around his ankles — quite literally — at least if Chris left it to Darren. He couldn’t hate Darren for it even if they did. But, he can stop him though before they get that far.

"Fine," Darren replies with a mock pout, looking away.

Chris tilts his head, his eyes still on Darren, always on him, and he squeezes the hand in his. He can see the corners of Darren's mouth quirk up. A smile almost imperceptible, but there.

"Come on, Prince Charming," Chris says lightly, nudging Darren's hand, “lead the way back to our chariot, before you make me completely swoon.”

Darren glances at him with a smile blooming on his lips before he moves.

As they leave, Chris looks behind him to where they had made out, and he finally notices that they were in an aisle of encyclopedias. It makes him want to laugh all over again.

Only Darren would make out with him against a bookshelf filled with encyclopedias. Only Darren would understand his love for encyclopedias, for learning and searching and discovering. Only he would know that to Chris, it really is the best aisle in the library - well, perhaps after young adult book aisle.

Chris turns back to Darren with a smile playing on his lips, with all this love blooming in his heart, as they walk through the empty library in silence. They are almost at the door when Darren finally speaks up. Even before the words, Chris sees the mischievous glint is back in his bright hazel eyes again.

“And now we can do another thing I’ve never done before,” Darren says, as he opens the door for Chris.

“Oh yeah, what?” Chris asks, slipping his hand away from Darren’s, as he steps out.

“Make out in the car."

Chris laughs. He turns to look at Darren, who has stepped beside him. Darren is smiling too, not even trying to hide it, not trying to hide how amazingly happy he is right in this very moment with Chris.

When Darren moves, Chris hurries to follow after him, easily falling into step beside him.

“Now I know that is most definitely not true. We've made out in a car before, you've made out in a car before,” Chris says, smiling and shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all, and takes Darren’s hand in his again, “It didn’t even take a week until we christened your car, because someone insisted.”

It really didn't. Darren was most persistent in christening the car, and Chris was never very good at resisting Darren when he is being persistent like that.

(Chris is pretty sure that it’s the story of their relationship, it’s why they are here now – together, happy, in love and married. Darren has always been pretty persistent when it comes to Chris, right from the beginning. Chris has always been weak to it.)  

“Aah, fond memories,” Darren says and pauses for a dramatic moment of a mock distant dreamy look in his eyes, before he turns back to Chris, "And yes, we have made out in a car, but not a rental car."

Chris stops and Darren keeps walking for a bit, until he realizes and stops too, looking back at Chris.

“No, just no. We are not making out in the rental.”

Darren glances over his shoulder at Chris with the same cheeky smile on his face that Chris has seen glimpses of all day, but he doesn't say anything – quite maddeningly. He just keeps walking, and Chris follows after him.

Darren really is most persistent, and Chris really is most helpless with Darren when he is most persistent.

It is why only a minute or two later Chris finds himself pressed against their rental car with Darren’s lips on his lips and his hands sliding down his sides – right there at the roadside parking where anyone could see. Chris doesn’t care much though. Darren doesn’t care even that much, even if he should. Probably both of them should.

It’s just kissing, except it isn’t exactly short or chaste… really not chaste at all if it’s up to Darren, it seems.

When Chris is just beginning to relax into it, to allow himself to be kissed right here and now like this, Darren pulls back a little, just enough to rub his lips over Chris’, a touch so light that it’s a tease, a torturous tease. But before Chris can chase after another kiss, Darren slips his hands into the back pockets of Chris’ jeans, grabbing a handful and laughing against the lips, as Chris squeaks at the unexpected move.

Sobering up, Chris quickly pulls away from the kiss. It feels like his cheeks are burning up, like everything in him is aflame, as he looks at Darren. He has to think straight though, even if he never can around Darren.

“Just keep your hands,” Chris says – breathless – finally pushing Darren away, although he can’t help it but slink his eyes down and up when he continues “— and everything else — to yourself until we get to our hotel room.”

“You’re boring." Darren says with an overly dramatic sigh and pulls away, even if he only barely manages to keep a straight face to match it.

A dare – is everything always a dare between them? Not that Chris minds the game, when it means playing it with Darren.

Chris raises an eyebrow and says, “Say that once again, and I’ll show you exactly how wrong you are when we get there.”

When Darren smiles that cheeky smile of his, Chris knows exactly what he will say next before he even says it.

#crisscolfer fic #hopelessly trying to write