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ageingfangirl2 · 1 month

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You Can't Hurt Me! Haruchiyo Sanzu (Tokyo Revengers)

You work in a coffee shop, another day of being bored and fake smiling at customers, until a pink-haired man comes crashing through the window and meets his match. Sanzu x Reader (Bonten Timeline)

'Only two more hours until I can close this place,' you mutter under your breath, leaning on the counter with your hands on your face.

Your eyes roam lazily over the scattered handful of customers in the coffee shop. A loved-up couple in the corner huddled together whispering and blushing, a few businessmen and women tapping away at their phones, and a wannabe writer who practically lives here. All day everyday just like you, you think gloomily.

Still leaning on one hand, you tap your fingers on your other hand impatiently on the counter, musing over ways you could close the shop early for the day. You had three options that sprung to mind; one, you could make up an excuse about a gas leak since the building down the road had one a month ago, two, act crazy so everyone leaves and you potentially get fired, or three, bide your time patiently so you earn every dime of your paycheck.

You decide on option three, blowing out a loud sigh. You needed the money, you couldn't afford to lose this job in the current economy. Making coffee wasn't your ideal life, the job wasn't that hard, it just got boring in the late afternoon when the crowds thinned and you were left to your own devices.

You pick up the rag over your shoulder, deciding to wipe the counter down one more time when a loud crash startles you and snaps you out of your thoughts.

A man quite literally comes flying through the window, sending glass shards across the room, luckily there were no customers in those window seats. Customers scream in terror, as the man, bloodied and bruised rises to his feet, but unlike everyone else, you weren't terrified because things just got interesting.

As if he knew you were watching him, his eyes snap in your direction, his gaze fierce and piercing. You could see why people would be scared of him because he had interesting scars around his mouth and screamed 'mafia' vibes. But right now all you could think about was how you had another mess to clean up and your boss wasn't going to be happy.

'Will you stop dripping blood all over my clean floors?' you ask, voice monotone as you meet his gaze.

He growls, his voice dark and dripping with menace, 'Excuse me?'

'I just mopped,' you reply, and stand up straight, stretching to work out some kinks in your back from leaning over.

He reaches around his back, pulls a gun from the waistband of his trousers and points it directly at you, a wicked grin creeping onto his lips. At this point what few customers had stayed to gawk flee from the shop leaving the two of you alone.

You stare him down as he chuckles, 'It's just the two of us now.'

You nod, 'Great, I was looking for an excuse to close early.'

His grin wavers. He tries to take a step towards you but staggers backwards, wincing. Whatever fight he'd been in, it was catching up to him, 'quick. Help dress my wounds.'

He waves his gun at you with shaky hands, 'or I'll shoot you dead.'

You clear your throat and raise a single eyebrow, 'only if you ask me nicely sir.'

His eyes widen in shock, probably not used to being spoken back to, 'What did you say?'

You sigh loudly again, imagining being anywhere but here right now, 'did your hearing get damaged when you came crashing through the window?'

'NO!' He snaps.

You motion behind him towards the front door, 'Come on, then. Walk outside, and enter with a better attitude. I'll treat your wounds, but you have to be respectful.'

Confusion, anger and something else flash across his face while you watch him with disinterest.

'Who do you think you are? Telling me what to do,' he waves his gun at you again as he speaks.

Your tiredness turns into anger, 'and who the hell do you think you are? If you don't want to bleed out, you need to...ask...me...nicely.'

He stares at you, his mouth agape, speechless. Then he grits his teeth, 'Fine. Will you please kindly help me with my wounds?'

You smile a little, 'there, was that so hard?'

You pull out the first aid kit from under the counter and walk around the counter holding it in front of you as you carefully approach him. You reach out to pull off his suit jacket, but he flinches away.

'What are you doing?' he gasps.

You roll your eyes, 'I need to be able to see the wounds to treat them.'

He blinks a couple of times, realisation dawning on his face, 'Oh, right...go ahead...'

You extend your hand again slowly as if he were a dangerous animal that might bite. This time he lets you help him out of his jacket which you place over the back of a nearby chair, while he winces.

You let him remove his waistcoat, tie and shirt which was bloodied. It was a lot to take in coming face to face with his bare chest, he was in good physical shape. You'd think he was carved out of stone if it wasn't for the warmth that came off his body reminding you he was human. You quickly tell your brain to get out of the gutter with dirty thoughts, seeing the amount of blood on his chest, there was a lot of it.

The main wound was on his right ribcage, and looked like someone had stabbed him, but he had other cuts and gashes across his arms, and even his face, but some of those could have been from being thrown through a glass window.

You take a deep breath, 'let me guess, I'd hate to see the other guy?'

'Other guys,' he grumbles

You pull out a disinfectant wipe and dab at the cut on his face just to the left of one of his scars.

'FUCK YOU! OW!!!' he shouts.

You pull the wipe back in surrender, 'sorry, sorry,' you mumble, 'I should have warned you that this might sting a little.'

He grunts, and you move back in to dab the cut with a much more gentle touch, 'do you have to?'

You bite your lip, trying to hold back your laughter, he's awfully scared for a tough guy, 'if it gets infected, it's going to hurt a whole lot more.'

You try to quickly clean the smaller cuts and gashes not wanting him to lash out at you because he couldn't handle a little pain. After throwing out the bloody wipes, you unroll the bandage and start to tackle the deeper wound on his ribcage. He grunts and grimaces as you wrap the bandage tighter and tighter around his body.

'You really should go to the hospital, looks like this might need stitches,' you observe, as you wrap, noticing some blood seeping through.

He huffs, 'I couldn't care less about how I look.'

You stop your work and pull back looking at him with your own grin. His perfectly styled pink hair and smart clothes, all screamed I care, 'sure you don't.'

You cut the excess bandage and tape it down, 'how did you get into this mess if you don't mind me asking.'

He eyes you suspiciously, 'what do you care?'

You shrug your shoulders, 'Call me curious. Maybe I'd like to avoid ending up in a similar situation if it isn't safe around here anymore.'

He scoffs, trust me, I don't think you need to worry about that.'

You match his scoff, 'why not?'

He eyes you up and down smirking, 'You don't seem the type to get into trouble.'

You chew your lip, weighing up his words, 'Is that a compliment or an insult?'

He shrugs, 'You decide.'

You smile and puff out your chest proudly, 'compliment then.'

You watch him put his shirt back on along with the waistcoat which he leaves open, before slowly and carefully putting his jacket back on with the tie now in the pocket. When he's done you take a step back and finally take in the messy scene around you, 'now you can help me clean this place up.'

His mouth hangs open, 'you want me to what?'

You motion around you at the broken glass and blood, 'Clean up. Look at the mess you made. I've had a long day...a long week... and an even longer year.'

You slump down into a nearby chair, suddenly feeling the full weight of your exhaustion after the small adrenaline rush.

He shakes his head, 'do you think I care?'

You click your tongue, 'I don't know. I don't care.'

His brows furrow together, 'why aren't you afraid of me?'

You shrug a shoulder, 'I'm too tired to be afraid of you right now.'

He squints at you, curiosity in his eyes, 'You should be terrified of me. You should be begging me to spare your life.'

He prowls towards you, wearing a menacing grin, 'Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who I work for?'

'Enlighten me then,' you reply, back in your monotone voice from before.

His eyes narrow to snake-like slits as he takes in your bored expression, 'I'm one the most powerful and dangerous men you'll ever meet. I'm Haruchiyo Sanzu.'

You blink a couple of times, you couldn't care less who he thought he was, you hadn't heard his name before or even seen him around his area before.

He fingers the gun which was back in his waistband, 'I could hurt you so bad. You'd wish you were dead.'

You roll your eyes which you'd done a lot during this encounter, 'Sanzu, is it? I work in customer service. You can't hurt me in any way that matters.'

He looks frozen, almost like a deer in headlights. You manage to make yourself stand up and take off your apron which had his blood on and fling it on the table ready to call it a night.

'You--You don't--' he stammers, and this time when he eyes you up and down there's something different in his eyes, like he's seeing you for the first time.

You put your hands on your hips, ready to hand back any crap he decided to throw your way, 'What?'

He looks flustered, and he can't stop staring at you so you continue speaking, 'What? Spit it out. I don't have all night.'

As you step around him he manages to speak, 'You look better than this place, that's all. You don't belong here.'

You look down at your feet, suddenly very aware of yourself. You try to keep the heat from showing on your cheeks at his genuine words. He was the first person other than yourself who'd told you that you were better than this place.

'What do you mean by that?' you ask.

'It was meant as a compliment, geeze you're annoying,' he snaps back.

You pout, 'didn't sound like one with your tone is all.'

You flip the sign on the door from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED' before heading back behind the counter to retrieve the brush and pan along with the mop bucket, ignoring Sanzu, though you could feel his eyes on you.

'Well, uh...I guess I'll be going then,' he says.

You glance over your shoulder at him to see he is checking out the name tag on your apron, '...nice name.'

You slap your hand down on the counter, at least pay for a coffee, you've done enough damage.'

He continues to stare at you with the same shocked expression, that seems to have a begrudging respect undertone, you guess he'd never come across somebody quite like you.

'Okay, fine,' he says calmly, and approaches the counter taking his wallet out of his back pocket instead of the gun.'

'Err...wh-what do you want?' you stutter, not expecting him to take up your offer or even pay.

'Surprise me,' he replies, a lazy smirk on his lips.

He knew he was affecting you, maybe getting the upper hand on you after your attitude towards him earlier. So you decide to make him the simplest drink, not just because you are lazy, but because you think it suits him.

'Double espresso, black,' you call out, putting the drink in front of him.

He picks it up and sips it, his eyes sparkling at you over the cup's rim. He doesn't make any noise of approval or disapproval. Instead, he passes a crisp one hundred across the counter towards you, 'Keep the change.'

You gape at him, staring at the money, as he swiftly finishes the drink and throws the takeaway cup in the bin next to the counter. Wordlessly, he struts out of the shop with his head held high, leaving you with the mess he'd made.

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liar-remastered-2011 · 4 months

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just got into an IRL argument about whether or not it's okay to tax the rich more, and i guess i forgot there's still people out there who genuinely think billionaires worked hard for their money, so here's some unfriendly reminders:

billionaires do not work hard for their money. they force people like you and i to do their work and then take the money we make.

if you are two missed paychecks away from your life falling apart, you are lower class

if you barely/can't afford your bills on a regular basis, you are lower class

in america, if someone living alone makes less than ~12k a year, they are living in poverty

if a family of four makes less than a collective ~28k, they are living in poverty

working three jobs up until the day you die is not success

there is no such thing as equal opportunity. if you're born in a small town, if your family doesn't support you, if you have any sort of disability -- there's a million things that could happen to you that ruin your chances of success.

nobody wants to be poor. nobody intentionally makes themself poor.

generally, you stay in the class you're born in

if someone is struggling with addiction or poor spending habits, they need help, not to slowly rot away in the streets

it is billionaires job to fix the economy, they're the ones that ruined it

sure, maybe your grandpa makes 60k a year and genuinely worked hard to get where he is, but he is not rich. he is not a billionaire. we are not talking about him.

your grandpa lived in a different time period than we do. it was easier to lift yourself out of poverty when the richest guy you knew had maybe 10k worth in assets.

#og #eat the rich #punk #i don't have the energy to elaborate more on this

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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WIBTA for insisting my husband's online friend sign some sort of lease or contract for moving into our house?

So my husband has a friend from a MMO that he met like 5 years ago. This guy moved across the country to get away from his toxic family and live with his partner there. This partner left him earlier this summer, shouldering him with the full financial responsibility for the apartment they used to share, which he could not afford alone. When he heard about this, my husband offered to help, because the friend doesn't have any closer connections and really doesn't want to return to his toxic family, if they'd even have him back. A couple years ago my husband and I bought a house, and it has a guest bedroom, and my husband offered it to him without asking me first. "If you can't find somewhere affordable in time let me know." He did tell me almost immediately afterwards, though. It's his nature to offer help when he has the means to do so, whether it's a friend or a stranger in the Walmart parking lot who needs their engine jumpstarted. I love that about him, but I feel like it's gone a bit far this time.

I've only spoken to this guy myself a couple times when I still played this MMO. We don't know what he looks like, and my husband only just recently learned his real name (he never felt the need to ask before.) But my husband trusts him, and I want to trust my husband. I still have my reservations, though, because I don't know him, and also because after years of living in crappy apartments and with crappy roommates, I highly valued finally having our own private home, where we can be as indiscreet as we like, stay up as late as we want on our days off, and have a place for our friends to crash for the couple nights a year when we can actually get together and get real drunk. But despite all this, I told my husband ok, as long as it's only temporary, and only if he doesn't find any other option before he has to vacate his current apartment. Because I didn't want to be the reason that someone my husband considers a friend to be homeless, or back with an abusive family. There is a verbal agreement/understanding that the friend needs to find a job here ASAP, start paying rent once he has a paycheck, and be looking for a place of his own while he's here.

Well, his friend wasn't able to find anything else, and my husband has already bought a plane ticket for him, and one box of his things has already arrived at our house in advance of his arrival, so it's too late to rescind the offer. I spoke to my mom and mother-in-law about it and they are EXTREMELY skeptical, being older people and all and not really understanding the idea of internet friendships. But after talking to them, I'm more anxious about this than I initially realized. Moms and I floated the idea of drafting some kind of contract or rent agreement or something, so that we have some sort of recourse if this person isn't trustworthy or things go pear shaped. But my husband insisted it isn't necessary to go that far, that this will definitely be a short term thing, but in this economy I really doubt that.

I know now I should've pressed the issue earlier. If I pushed against it hard enough I think my husband would have dropped it. But I also genuinely don't want to be the reason this guy's homeless. It's entirely possible he's a perfectly trustworthy guy and is as nice in person has he has been online. I thought a written agreement would be a fitting compromise since it's definitely too late to pull back without being the asshole for sure, but I want some measure of protection. I'd do some legal research first to make sure it's done correctly. But WIBTA if I insisted on that? what would tumblr do?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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phoenixyfriend · 1 year

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I think one of the things that makes it possibly not... super clear why I'm so anxious about finding a job that pays enough. So uh. Here's the thing.

"In December 2022, 51% of people who earn more than $100,000 reported living paycheck to paycheck. [...] After taxes and adjusted for cost of living, $100,000 amounts to just $35,791 in New York, New York." - Time Magazine

Now... a lot of these people probably have dependents. Some are probably paying off student debt. Some may have medical debt. There are lot of reasons for a person to be living paycheck to paycheck.

But to pay off a most basic apartment in an outer borough, utilities, insurance, transportation, all taxes, and food, a touch of medical or dental, basic hygiene needs, the occasional treat? I need a 70k salary.

I could sell my car, in theory; the transit infrastructure is good enough, if I find a place near a subway station, even if I cannot do anything without it where I am now. I could get a roommate in a 2b instead of going solo in a 1b. I could live in the spare room of my parents' friends, even though I know from a friend that it's suboptimal. There are ways to make this work, obviously. There are people who make this work, millions of people in NYC who have been doing this for generations, and I am willing to compromise the way so many people do, sure, but...

Well, I'm bad at people. Getting a romantic partner isn't in the cards, really, and finding a roommate online is theoretically possible but fills me with anxiety to think about. It sucks that the rent is such that I have to. That health insurance is such that I have to. That I can't reasonably think about grad school until I've stockpiled some savings up again, just in case there's an emergency, because of the aforementioned health insurance situation.

People do it, sure, but there is not a single county in the entire United State where the minimum wage is enough for a single adult to live alone in an apartment. That's not really okay. Why should so many of us have to give up the most basic and affordable of luxuries because the economy favors those who came from wealth?

NYC might have a higher minimum wage than most, but a $15/hr minimum wage still doesn't mean much when the living wage is $25/hr for a single adult with no dependents.

(Did you know, the advice used to be that your rent should be no more than 20% of your income?)

IDK where I'm going with this. It's not a situation with an easy answer, and I'm not in a place to change anything directly. All I can do is keep looking for a job that pays me enough to survive, find someone I don't think is going to be a horrible roommate... or look into doing Chicago instead of NYC, I guess.

I just know that I can't stay in the suburbs forever. This place is killing me.

#personal #vent post #nyc #new york #new york city

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whitehairedanimeboyfriend · 2 months

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This is a hard thing to talk about but the housing crisis causes such a huge impact on people that are unpleasant to live with. "Just live with other people" Yeah I tried that and it destroys my friendships even when I'm putting a lot of effort into being better.

Like I can make and keep friends. I'm personable and friendly enough but in my own home when I'm unmasked Im quiet sometimes even sullen and awkward and intimidating and I have difficulty keeping track of things around the home. This makes for someone who isn't the greatest roommate to have and in an economy where I can't afford to live alone that means my housing is extremely unstable.

I've lived with strangers, acquainteces, my best friend. It never works out for me and I've been trying to change for years. I'm someone that needs to live alone.

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aludraslytherin · 16 days

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Why the fuck.

Why the fuck did we complicated soo much our lives? Why have we created societies, why have we created money, work, the "living earning dying", the taxes, the "men are better then women just because they have dicks and can't bear literal life", why have we done all of that ?

We can live. We are alive! This is such a precious gift to be here, on Earth, where there is nothern lights, and stars, where there are forests, and mountains, and the sea!

We have cats, we have the flowers, and bees!

Why have we done this to ourselves? Why have we stuck ourselves with the economy, with letting white dying men controlling every thing all while destroying the beauty of what makes living a good things?

Why have we created all of this?

What's even the point? We could have been all happy, all equal, we could have done so many precious things, things could have been as easy as "you like to create wooden statues? Then do it! Oh you, you love taking care of plants and flowers, okay, go on!"

But now we have to spend 15 years minimum at school, with minimum Sun exposition, something that is a necessity for Vitamin D, having to sit down all day, in silence, while wrinting down things, that for the most of it, will be completely useless in our future, just to then either, killing ouselves with work, or doing some other years of studying, and, in some country, this simple thing can endebt families for 40+ years, and all of this, just to do a job that you will hate, that will make you depressed, and you'll have to work you arse off just to make the barely minimum to live, if you are even lucky enough just to actully do it.

People have to work three job just to able to afford rent and food, when 40 years ago, one job, a few month of money set aside and you could buy a nice house.

Why have we done this to ourselves?

What's the point? Depression, anxiety, su!c!d3, all of these are happening a lot more than before, children are killed going to school, people fights and have wars over the way of worshipping the same god, people are massacred because they are in love, and other for being who they really are.

There are more slaves in today's world then it ever had in the whole history, even back when it was legal. Children are left to die in the street, and are easily kidnapped into something that no one, let alone a child that can't even comprehend what is happing, should live.

All of this for what? For something as ridiculous and useless as money!! People are starving, people are dying, people are sick because of this world and because of money.

Corporations are getting you sick, just so you can buy medicine that will heal the thing you need healing all while it's destroying another part of your body. Because sick people spends more money.

Why have we done all of this... And after that people still wonder why am I depressed at barely 18, people still wonder why do I want to disapear. Us teenagers are aware of that. The adults are just brainwashed into thinking this is normal. And they are trying to brainwash us into thinking it's normal.

When it's really not.

Thanks to every one who read the whole thing.

#ted talk #life #society #criticism of society #feminism #humanism #lgbt #depression #anxiety #tumblr

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pebblysand · 1 month

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🎲🪐☁️ for the writer's game. ty for sharing your work, it's gorgeous.

hello! see, all i apparently needed to get the castles juices going yesterday was to ask for a distraction, because i ended up writing anyway, haha. but now, i'm here! 🥳

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

i mean, life? i suppose i know that generally, i'm a lot more productive, writing-wise, if i write in large chunks of time. i find it very hard to dip in and out for 15/20 minutes like so many people do. it takes me a lot of time to "warm up" and get the juices going, and then when i do, i don't want to stop.

so, typically, i won't write unless i have at least 4 hours of uninterrupted time ahead of me, which obviously reduces my writing opportunities a lot. this generally means that i can only really write at the weekends. 1) because that's when i have the most uninterrupted "free" time and 2) because that's also when i'll have the most energy. i have the "disadvantage" that both my day job and writing are tasks that are "brainy" and require me to sit in front of a computer at home, at my desk. i guess maybe switching between the two is different if you have a more physical job (where the tasks are very different so maybe it's easier to feel the split between the two) but for me, if i wrote after work in the evenings, i wouldn't even move, i'd just have to switch out computers. it's a bit depressing and honestly my brain is tired, so i'd rather do something else.

now, that doesn't mean that i can't do write-y things after work. sometimes, i'll edit. sometimes, i'll answer anons or hang out on discord. but i don't write-write.

and then i guess, the rest of it is like: lack of inspiration, wanting to see friends, family, traveling, life-admin things, etc. i'm "lucky" in that i live alone and don't have dependents so i can afford right now to put quite a big amount of free time into writing, which wasn't always the case in the past.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

my health, my god, my country? 🇺🇸🤣 is that what americans say? nah, honestly man, idk, we're on a burning floating rock right now and i'm not finding anything very uplifting. on a micro level, i am very grateful for my, my friends, and my family's health, i'm happy that i'm going to be finished with castles soon and excited for you guys to read it, and for having a job in this economy.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

i feel like i've answered this before but i come from a place where the beach has pebbles, and i now live in a place where it has sand. it's not that #deep 😅.

thank you for your questions! if you want to send me more, here's the post!

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harway · 9 months

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I just need an outlet to talk about what's going on in my life.

TL;DR I don't get paid enough for what's being asked of me. (I do not work in retail or customer service.)

I work remotely for a start-up company as a(n executive) production assistant where currently—on verbal agreement—I work 20 hours a week for $15 an hour. Reality is that I actually work closer to 40 hours a week, but I don't charge the full time I work because the agreement was 20 hours.

Me working overtime is my choice, and not the responsibity of the company. Because it's a start-up I also know budget is tough and I still want the company to be successful. Currently, I am able to afford being underpaid because I have a very secure living situation; I am living rent and bill free.

However.....

My boss currently works two jobs. The first is teaching at a college, and the second is working on the business side of the start-up company. He wants me to move across the country for $45,000 a year (without moving assistance), and also got me part time job adjunct teaching for me that would help him with his teaching workload and give me a boost of income (another $7,600 a year).

As everyone is probably aware, the economy is really tough and rent is rising along with the price of everything else. I don't currently have a car either. To move alone would cost a lot and that's not enough to live comfortably. Even if I'm being paid dirt now, at least I'm comfortable and secure; moving cross-country is a big life change for a lot of risk since the company is in baby stages.

Regardless of it being on-paper as a bad decision, I want to move because I want to help the success of the company, and I'm told that being in-person will help the success at the company. I don't want to move down if I don't have a contract as assurance that I will be $45,000 a year though.

My contract has been talked about for the last two months, but never signed. For the adjunct teaching position I'm expected to be there on August 21st—in 9 days. I'm told that if I cancel the teaching job, I'm burning a bridge with that college and losing a lot of opportunities. I can't afford to live in that city without that teaching job, and I can't afford to live there solely on the teaching job either. Going down to that city on my own is an extremely big risk. At the very least, I don't want to move without my contract.

My boss hasn't done anything with giving me one when I was supposed to hear about it July 10th. I know he's busy, and if I bug him, he might get frustrated at me for it, or it may stress him and that's not good for the good of the company if his production suffers more. He refuses to leave his main teaching job for the good company though.

I brought a friend into the company to help them with the production of a project. It lessens the dress on my boss, and my friend is wanted in-person as well eventually, but not as soon as me. In order to make my move work, I have asked him to move with me, and his girlfriend is also coming. My best friend is also coming down so that together, the four of us can lessen all of our costs to live comfortably between a combined housemate income of $97,600 per year.

Reasonably though, I have no right to ask three others to uproot their lives so I can make my main job work. So I can be comfortable. Even if they agree, it doesn't change reality—that it is truly an unreasonable request for a job that is visibly unstable. It is a lot of stress.

I have tried to talk to my boss to renegotiate my salary, but it isn't in the budget. I've talked to his wife who also works for the company, about how I'm concerned about the move, and she said it was a good deal and is excited to have me down there. I can't move without a contract still...

As a result of the close wire waiting for this contract, I might just have to cancel the part-time teaching job. I don't have an apartment lined up even if I go down since it's such short notice. Driving there will take 5 days too. (Moving diagonally across the United States.) I'm extremely stressed about the whole situation.

I got an email from one of my future teaching coworkers asking if I needed help. I responded to her informing her in a straight forward way that I'm waiting on a contract for my main job and it isn't paying me as much as I had hoped. I'm doing my best to make it work, and still planning to be down there in less than 2 weeks.

I think she talked to my boss because my boss called me today and gave me a (gentle) scolding about not to let my stress leak to people, that there is a time and a place. If I let my stress leak out, people may view me negatively, or it'll negatively affect the team.

I only mentioned what was going on because then if I can't go through with the adjunct teaching job, it's not a complete blindside. The teaching job also knows it doesn't pay well since the head of the department has asked me multiple times if I knew what the pay was.

Ultimately, this position that I'm in is because my boss didn't get me my contract in a timely manner. I've tried to express my stress to him but he doesn't understand it even though it's his fault. I even started crying in the call today with him because of how much I'm reaching wit's end about the situation.

I'm risking my mental health, asking three others to uproot their lives, and already doing more work than I'm paid for. Also, even if I move there, I'm actually working three jobs, because I'm also running a freelance project for my boss on the side as well. For that entire project, it's a flat rate of $2,500 for the entire project, which I am also doing two people's jobs for.

With all of this, I'm reaching the point of becoming inconsolable. The deal is bad, but I feel trapped in it, because my industry has such low job availability right now and it's highly competitive. It's just such a difficult situation and I'm deteriorating fast...

I don't even think my boss understands how much he's taking advantage of me. I want to trust him. I want the company to do well, but he is asking me to give him everything I can and more—what I can also ask of others. I still like my boss as a person, but the situation feels like it's becoming too much now.

#personal

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sevenhundred721 · 9 months

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Do you think there's discourse on Cybertron amongst bots pro-capitalist enough to believe in monetizing basic needs, but anti-capitalist enough to want some degree of equity, about energon portion sizes and the costs?

Like, "One serving of energon for a tank may be more than for a scooter, but the price should be the same. After all, it shouldn't cost more for somebody else to live just because they're bigger."

"Well then, what would stop a larger bot from bulk buying energon and then reselling it? What would stop the surely vast and varying methods people would use to defraud the good people selling the energon? Nobody deserves to starve, but some attempts at helping people by providing resources in good faith will just result in generous bots left with nothing."

"So you'd just leave more energon inefficient bots to starve? We need some infrastructure in place to support those who can't afford the sheer volume of energon they need to consume to continue functioning."

"We could always tax more fuel efficient bots I guess."

"So you just want everybody to be at risk of starvation?"

"Are we not already? We're in the middle of a shortage. Probably the worst one ever. The high prices aren't just for the fun of it. It's not just out of greed. You really would suggest that 5 gallons and 50 gallons of energon would cost the same amount? In this economy? That's a terrible idea and you have to know that."

"Just."

"What?"

"You said it's not just greed."

"Oh no, are we playing semantics? Fine, it's not greed."

"No, you don't get to take it back! You said it's not just greed, you know, on some level, that it's greed!"

"That is the opposite of the sentiment I was attempting to express."

Or something. I don't fucking know. I just know some people would be so annoying about the energon crisis. (Pure cope bc the energon crisis barely acknowledged, let alone discussed, in IDW1 despite being literally at the center of the final big bad's motives.)

#i haven't written dialog in a long time and it shows so i hid it under read more #transformers #sorry if this is cringe i just like thinking about these robots and their fucked politics

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valaglarios · 8 months

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rough drifter timeline/Fun Facts post about them and also a link compilation for myself so i can keep my inane thoughts about them in one place

the "original" drifter/alternate universe operator died on the zariman. drifter as we see them in duviri is a figment of their imagination borne out of their desire that they were strong enough to protect their loved ones on the zariman, which they then projected onto the "hero" from the actual tales of duviri book. more on that here, in the last pargraph; here; and here

drifter comes into existence and the inner conflict between their partial identity as both an extension of a real person and as a storybook character means that they have a huge identity crisis. having no memory of what their "place" in duviri is or where in the "real world" they came from, they just kind of start to ignore/block out all the freaky "dreams"/memories they have but can't make sense of. their identity as a "real" person sort of melts away and they become a living archetype like other duviri characters. thrax, absolutely shit scared of them discovering that they're The Hero who's supposed to "save" duviri from him, takes advantage of this to be like "don't you remember?? you're one of my courtiers!! haha please don't usurp me"

i think brimon still exists in this version of duviri -- there's no reason why there can't be more than one avatar of pride -- but where brimon embodies the sort of surface-level pride where, like, yeah he's a braggart and kind of obnoxious but that's really it, drifter is, as The Hero, that sort of "heroic" pride that's actually really isolating and self-destructive. they don't necessarily view themself as being above or inherently better than others -- instead they're an avid perfectionist, every little mistake they make eats away at them, they're adamant about doing everything Alone and they will refuse any semblance of help if it means literal death. this is what keeps them from accepting teshin's help for a long time, and finally learning that they do actually do need help and that they're not Bad for it is the first step in helping them break their spiral and become capable of growth

they're aware that it's weird that they're not blue (da ba dee) and will hide it while in public with makeup/just keeping their skin covered but they aren't remotely inclined to examine Why they're so weird. thrax uses this to emphasize that they need to stick together bc they're both weirdos

thrax in general is desperate to have drifter stick with him because 1) He Needs Control and knows that if anyone can take that from him, it's them, and 2) he recognizes that they're opposite sides of the same coin, that they're both extensions of the child who died on the zariman, and they're the only person he has left that he feels he can actually trust and relate to. i've discussed before that i think he feels responsible for drifter's happiness -- he's The Inner Child to drifter's Maladjusted Adult, he's the embodiment of the coping mechanisms they formed as a scared kid, and the idea of not being able to keep drifter happy, that they don't need him anymore and would do better without him, scares the fuck out of him. maybe i'll compile that whole rant in another post lol

also this

so thrax affords drifter a lot of dignity that he doesn't really give his other courtiers. he views them as more or less an equal while he considers the other courtiers as clearly beneath him/them.

drifter's role is basically to be his PR agent. this isn't explored a lot in canon, but i do envision that most of the courtiers had/have roles beyond just entertaining thrax: lodun, of course, is in charge of duviri's military force & is basically a cop; mathila, in this duviri, is his advisor for "peasant business" (keeps tabs on her island's trade & economy/crop yields/use of the land, organizes their tribute, etc); and drifter is a spy of sorts who does a number of odd jobs like political assassinations, doing a lot of propaganda work/damage control for thrax, stemming discontent among the peasantry before lodun has to come in and put the boot down, stuff like that. they're also sort of a supervisor to the other courtiers and keeps them all on track, enforces deadlines, etc.

i think drifter thinks that they're genuinely Doing Good in their job. at the end of the day, they're an embodiment of pride, and they're not going to admit to potentially being wrong easily. i think their rationale is that they do a lot of "little" harms (poisoning one or two malcontents) to prevent "big" harms from happening (thrax getting pissed and sending a wyrm in to destroy an entire island and everyone on it). i think they have a lot of love for the kingdom and believe that thrax does too. also, like, who else could they possibly install as monarch??? lodun??? absolutely fucking not.

i talked about this extensively in another post but drifter Does Not Fucking Like lodun. however they do end up befriending mathila, who is the only person in all of duviri who tolerates lodun, and i'm obsessed with the idea of mathila scruffing them both like they're kittens and putting them in a room together and telling them that they have to get along now Or Else.

and it works.

pretty much everything that happens in-game still applies to them... i haven't sorted out the rest of the stuff that leads up to the duviri paradox but obviously at some point they find out that thrax has been lying to them about Everything the whole time and they're like "hey what the fuck dude" and ditch him, and after a lot of bargaining to try to get them back thrax gets pissed and starts hunting them down. etc etc etc.

i think they probably actually spend a lot of time in duviri after the events of paradox bc like... that's their home and also they recognize that they owe it to the citizens to help build a better place to live, and help thrax grow, etc. a bit on that here

idc what DE says, drifter adopts thrax with their wife hombask and everyone in duviri gets to come live on the zariman before the void consumes them all and they all live happily ever after

a lil more about drifter and hombask here and here

#wfblogging #drifterblogging

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jerseydeanne · 2 years

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NewsWire· 21m * UK GOVERNMENT ‘REASONABLE’ WORST CASE SCENARIO PLAN SAYS WIDESPREAD GAS SHORTAGES IN WINTER LIKELY IN EVENT RUSSIA LIMITS GAS SUPPLY - TIMES *6 MILLION HOUSEHOLDS FACE ELECTRICITY RATIONING, CONTROLLED BLACKOUTS DURING PEAK HOURS ----- NOW DO GERMANY!! The US and EU politicians are so stupid. They cannot think one step ahead. It was predictable. As soon as the demented old moron Joe took office, what did he do? Right! He destroyed the energy independence in the US. My fellow Americans, prepare to face a shortage of diesel this fall. Truck drivers will go first, of course. You will be waiting in line. Those, who has no idea what the Carter administration looked like, will have an opportunity to experience those "glorious" times.

I lived through Jimmy Carter's gas crisis! I was a driving teen and we would run out of gas standing in line. I lived in Florida at the time and we struggled to put food on the table. I became anemic! What the answer to anemia, MEAT!

The usual suspects claim it's not happening, not based on facts.

If truckers can't afford to run their trucks they can't deliver the food. We were in the trucking business, and my husband hauled flatbed, steel, and lumber. All of our friends own trucks, one is a milk hauler out of Ohio that delivered Milk to Walmarts in Florida.

How much do you think that gallon of milk is going to cost? And still, that senile old bastards are going to push electricity? Really!

Companies were adding a fuel surcharge to deliveries, but it doesn't cover the cost of fuel. Owner Operators need to pay enormous truck payments. They can't run older trucks because of all the regulations.

Also, older truckers are retiring and saying F**k this S**t! Were done! They have offered drivers as low as 18 yo positions, but our younger people are too damn lazy to try to make a living.

Mc Donald's and Burger King need deliveries too! Not everyone can work there, and people will not pay the price. What does that lead to? Like the carter admin, we all stayed home and ate beans and potato soup.

Does it sound depressing? It is. That's why I'm pushing you to stock up and be prepared. I personally know what borderline starvation is.

Fight back, use your voice and tell congress you are mad as hell!

Thank you, Anon, that felt good!

Love, JD 😜💋

#biden economy #Anon #diesel #worldwide #starvation #jimmy carter #Food shortage #beef #protein deficiency

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altheterrible · 2 years

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Ugh how do you recover from burnout when gas is $5/gallon and corporations are destroying the economy? When you're chronically ill, disabled, and always in pain your doctor won't do anything to fix? When you're chronically fatigued from your disabilities but still forced to spend 40 hours a week working a physically demanding, emotionally unfulfilling, low paying job with no ability to get anything better? When you're fighting with complex trauma you don't have the bandwidth to fix because so many other things are eating it up? How can I recover from burnout when I'm putting everything I have into keeping my head above water in this terrible world?

I'm miserable. I experience no joy in my life. I feel nothing. And it's not because of some magical chemical imbalance in my brain. It's because my life is objectively terrible. I have no money, I'm stressed about bills, I'm stressed about inflation, I'm stressed about rent. I'm in the process of declaring bankruptcy so it'll be 7 years before I can even rent my own apartment, let alone think about home ownership. I have multiple chronic illnesses including one that will almost certainly kill me. I have poorly controlled chronic pain that makes it hard to focus on anything except how much it hurts. I work in retail, where both customers and management treat me like expendable garbage, for which privilege I am paid $14/hr and taxed at 25%--and I have no energy left at the end of the day for anything I might find enjoyable. I never see my sister, I don't have the time or energy to hang out with friends, and most of the people I do interact with on a daily basis make it abundantly clear that my feelings aren't a priority for them.

So at the end of every day, I feel like I can't do it again, can't wake up and face another day like today. The idea of having to keep living every day while I feel so totally hollow and dead inside terrifies me. Looking ahead and seeing another day like this, over and over again forever, makes me want to die. I want to kill myself. I think about ways to do it. The only thing stopping me is funeral costs. I'm saving money so my sister can afford to have me cremated. Only $650 to go. With my wages, I'll have enough in roughly 80 years.

I can't deal with the misery. I've been self harming again, it's the only thing that takes the edge off how bad I feel. I thought I was past this, but really, why should I even bother trying not to cut when it's the only thing that helps? It's not like anything else is helping. And like, it doesn't matter at all that I've started again. To anyone. No one else cares, so why should I? That's the funny thing. Self harm is allegedly this serious mental health emergency, because it's such a dangerous coping mechanism--especially the way I do it, I routinely cut deeply enough to warrant stitches, though I haven't been getting them bc I can't afford to take the time off work to go to the psych ward for a week. Lol.

So yeah, self harm is supposed to be this serious sign that someone is suffering and needs help and people who are hurting themselves are usually offered support so they don't feel so overwhelmed that they resort to self harm.

Except when it's me cutting myself. Then no one gives a shit. Sam and John pretend they don't see it. My friends brush me off. Fuck, I told my therapist I was cutting again and she was like "you say you feel like it doesn't matter that you're cutting yourself, but it matters to me" but then she didn't like, do anything about it. She didn't ask why I was doing it, didn't talk about it further, and didn't provide me any kind of support so I didn't feel like I needed to keep cutting myself. So I'm going to keep doing what's helping. At least then I can get through the day.

Meds aren't the answer. I've tried meds. So many meds, and combinations of meds. Right now I'm on Adderall, Cymbalta, Latuda, and Seroquel. I still want to die. I still feel hollow and dead inside. I'm still dragging myself through every day and counting down the time until I can be asleep again. What's the answer? More antipsychotics? I'm already so exhausted I can barely function. More antidepressants? Tricyclics or MAOIs maybe, it's not like those have horrific side effects lol. Lithium? Anti seizure meds? Benzodiazepines?

The problem is that medication can't fix the fact the world is a garbage fire and I'm being burned alive in it. There is no medication that will fix capitalism. Psych medication won't make the customers at work treat me better, it won't increase my pay, it won't make my doctor listen to me about my pain. Psych medication won't help me find joy in the world because the world is a shit place.

I think the answer to the questions in my first paragraph is pretty clear: you don't recover from burnout under those circumstances. The circumstances have to change.

Something has to give, though, and I think it's going to be me.

#whining #self harm #suicide #burnout #psych meds #depression

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inkforged · 4 months

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Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting...

Apparently, I'm in a "Season of Waiting" whatever the hell that means. It looks a lot like high anxiety, constantly checking my inbox, texts, and wondering if the unknown number is a spam call or the call that can change my life.

It's preparing as much as I can without actually making moves. It's doubting myself, my abilities, and my worth. It's insomnia and naps in my car when I just can't stay awake any longer. It's sadness and hope and anger and worry and desperation.

Whatever it is, it isn't peaceful.

I think that's what I want to focus on this year - finding peace. I know that we're supposed to pick a word each year and focus on it. Normally, I'm tempted to choose something like "chaos" or a phrase like "I wish a bitch would" but I don't think that energy is going to serve me well in my current situation. I need calm and strength and rest.

So maybe it's peace. I think that it looks different for everyone.

When I close my eyes and imagine what peace could look like I see nature - trees, mountains, the sound of a river. A quiet house with a fire in the hearth and a dog curled up on the couch. Coffee freshly brewed and a good book in my hand. I see financial stability and a place of my own. I see leaving work at the office and a routine that keeps my space and mind clean. I imagine comfort and a life where chaos isn't common and I can feel safe going to the grocery store. I see a space where I'm free to be me. Where no one yells at me for speaking my mind. A place where I'm accepted for me. Where I can come home and drink a glass of wine as I cook my dinner. Where I'm comfortable enough to walk my dog.

I've always thought that my dreams were simple and hated how unrealistic they are. A small house with enough room for two dogs and my books. I want kids, but have come to terms with the fact that I probably will never have them. My dream does include a husband still, but I'm not counting on it.

It's heartbreaking to me that I probably will never own a house or be able to afford to keep a dog-let alone two. I will never make enough money on my own to be debt-free and have an emergency fund. It's expensive to be single and my simple dream of small house and dogs is impossible to attain. I can't even afford an apartment. How fucked up is that?

So how do I find peace? How do I get to the point where I can live the life that I desire?

Step One: Find a job

In this economy??

I'll have to keep you updated on that one.

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