#I have changed my perspective on people before but only on a friendship level

[tsuchinokoroyale]

How are you not someone's wife already???

I’ve licherally got no room for a man like where’s he gonna fit??

Not to mention…

#the real tea is that my brain operates purely on vibes and gets locked in very hard #if I’m interested in someone I tend to stay interested in them forever #but by the same coin if someone doesn’t strike my interest immediately they can’t do much to change my mind #I wouldn’t consider myself a romantic at all but all of my long term relationships began with sparks flying #I have changed my perspective on people before but only on a friendship level #my current fwb is a good example he’s poly so he left the door open for our fwb sitch to evolve if I was interested #and I def considered it for a long while but while he’s very hot and I get along with him great as a friend we did not have sparks #and trying to cultivate romantic feelings for him just didn’t happen much to my own dismay #he’s truly great I really don’t see where the disconnect between us is #I’m trying to therapy my way through this just because I get incredibly frustrated when I don’t understand something about myself #but I’m also really not too panini pressed about it love will come and go as it pleases #I got soooooo many baby to lovins in the meantime 😍😍😍

[maximoffcarter]

Drunken nights.

Pairings: Alex Cabot x reader.

Summary: Alex never understood what was the point of getting drunk, y/n had never seen her drunk before. But sometimes it happens that people stop counting their drinks and then...we get a drunk Alex.

A/n: This was requested by an anon, drunk and clingy Alex. I wrote more than I expected, I just got carried away, so I hope it is what the anon wanted haha. Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Alexandra Cabot has always been a private and reserved person for as long as she can remember. Even when she was a kid, she had been a selective kid and pretty reserved about what she liked and wanted, so that meant that she had very few friends, and never actually kept any contact with them. But that had changed when she started college. At first, she had said that she’d fully focus on her studies only, she was always the top of her class, so she was not about to change that here, and if that meant zero friends, then so be it. But after her first class, she ran into a girl in the hallway, making all of her books fall to the floor, and once she had them all back in her hands with the help of the girl, she couldn’t help but stare at her and the girl had done the same. That was the day when Alex and y/n had become close friends.

Their whole career, they had stuck by each other’s sides and had pushed the other to become the best in their classes. Alex would be lying if she said that she would’ve rather stay alone and go through the years alone, she had actually been happy to have someone by her side who was at her level, and who never stopped her from being herself and getting what she wanted, though they had their differences, they got alone pretty well, and Alex loved that about y/n. After graduating, they had parted ways, both women wanting different things with their careers, but even then, they never once lost contact and if they ever needed anything, they were just one call away.

And that’s how y/n ended up being Alex’s roommate three years later. On a random day, y/n had told Alex that she would be moving to Manhattan and that she had been trying to find a place to live but everywhere she went, was either way too expensive for her at the moment, it was a complete shithole, or it was too far away from her new job. So, Alex thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea if she offered y/n her guest room. Her apartment was pretty big, in a good location, her guest was actually never used, and Alex definitely didn’t mind the company of her best friend; and she was right, once again, she had taken the best decision. It turned out that y/n was working in White Collar, and she had been transferred to Manhattan, so at the end of the day, they wouldn’t be working too far away from each other.

Coming home to y/n was probably the best thing ever, they had dinner together, they shared their work with each other whenever they were stuck or they needed another perspective, they had lunch together, they basically almost did everything together. After a whole year living together, Alex couldn’t picture herself in another situation, she couldn’t see herself living alone anymore, which once again brought back those old feelings; that crush she never mentioned when they were in college. Their friendship was so good and beautiful, unlike any other friendship that Alex had had before, so of course she didn’t want to lose that. If having y/n in her life meant she’d only have her as her friend, then that’s how it was going to be.

“Hey Lexi?” Y/n asked softly as she walked into the living room.

“Yeah?” Alex turned to look at y/n and smiled softly.

“We’re out of fruit and milk, I’m gonna head tomorrow to the store after work. Is there anything you need from the store?”

“I can come with you. Maybe something pops up while we’re there.” Alex smiled.

“That sounds good.” Y/n smiled. “Okay, I’m gonna go get ready.”

Alex frowned as she sat down on the couch and placed her notepad in her lap. “You’re going out?”

Y/n turned to look at Alex and smiled softly. “Yeah. Some colleague got me involved in a blind date and I said I’d go, thinking it was actually a night with them but…it’s a blind date.”

Alex’s smile fainted as she nodded, looking down at her notepad. “Good. Uh…I hope you have fun.” She looked back at y/n and offered a small smile. “Let me know if you need a ride back or if you need anything.”

“I will, thanks, Lexi. I’ll see at the office tomorrow.” Y/n smiled before she walked out of the living room.

It wasn’t that Alex was not conscious that this would happen sooner or later. Hell, she even went on one or two dates herself, even before y/n had moved in with her, she’s had her one night stands and dates, but after y/n had arrived, there was no one else but her. But Alex was pretty conscious that sooner or later, y/n would settle in Manhattan and then she’d start dating. She had also told Alex that she’d find a place once she was stable enough with her job, but Alex had insisted that she really didn’t mind her staying there, now that was their apartment and she liked it that way. But y/n could find a partner soon, and then maybe she’d one to have her private moment with them, which of course crushed Alex’s heart but she knew it was also her fault for never talking to y/n. There was nothing she could do.

********************

“How’s the Gilbert case going?” Y/n asked as she took a sip of her drink.

Alex shrugged as she took a bite of her sandwich. “It’s okay. I’ve got like…three witnesses. There is no way that he’s getting out of this one.”

“How could he when you’re prosecuting him?” Y/n grinned and went back to eat her food.

Alex stared at her for a moment and grinned, nodding her head. “So…you never told me about your date.” She looked down at her notepad even if she was really not paying attention to it.

Y/n looked back at Alex and shrugged. “It was okay. I mean…she’s really nice. She works with us, but I never noticed her before.”

“Are you…going out with her again?”

Y/n shrugged. “I’ve been pretty busy to think about that. But…maybe I wouldn’t say no to another date.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked back down at her notepad. “Right.” She cleared her throat. “By the way, I’m going out today with the squad. I’ve been promising that I’ll go for drinks with them, and they finally reminded me of it.” She chuckled.

“They just want to see you loosen up a bit.” Y/n chuckled softly.

Alex frowned as she shook her head. “What do you mean? I do loosen up.” She grinned.

“Oh, c’mon, Lexi. When was the last time you actually got drunk?” Y/n raised her brow.

“I…I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“Because you haven’t…never.” Y/n laughed softly.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Okay, so? What’s the point of getting drunk?”

Y/n shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s fun.”

“Oh, so much fun. I remember taking you back home and having you barely standing on both feet.”

“Hey! We do not mention those times.”

“Too late.” Alex laughed as y/n threw a chip at her, laughing with her.

Later that day, Alex had met the squad at a bar near the precinct, and it seemed like they were celebrating that Alex was finally going out with them. The first half hour she had only been listening to the rest of the squad talking about cases or some old stories they had, she had also been refusing to drink anything else than a glass of wine, but when the squad started asking for rounds of beers -and a shot or two-, Alex couldn’t help but drink along, ending up joining into the conversation and laughs. She was happy that even after all the stress and anxiety in the last few days, she could feel a bit relaxed and happy, suddenly every bad thought had been pushed away.

“So, Cabot. Anyone in your life?” Fin raised his brow as he looked at Alex.

Alex furrowed her brows as she looked at Fin. “I’m married to my work.”

Elliot laughed. “C’mon, Alex. Didn’t work with Langan?”

Alex laughed as she shook her head. “Oh, that was a mistake. Do not remind me of that date. It started and ended right there.”

Olivia laughed as she nodded. “We thought we would lose you that night.”

“Never. It was a complete mistake.” Alex sighed as she looked at her drink. “And no, no one in my life.”

“What about that girl you’re always with?” Munch asked as he looked at Alex.

Alex raised her brows. “Are you guys spying on me or something?” She chuckled. “And y/n, she’s my best friend. She lives with me. We’ve known each other since college.”

“Best friend? You sure about that?” Elliot grinned as he took a sip of his drink.

“She’s going out on dates. So yes. Just my best friend.” Alex took a sip of her drink and then shook her head again. “Why are we talking about my miserable love life? Let’s talk about something else!” She chuckled softly with Olivia.

After an hour or so, Alex had had more drinks than she was supposed to have, losing count of them at some point and forgetting that she had to go back home alone. She had told Olivia that she’d be okay, but Olivia could tell that Alex didn’t really mix drinks, ever, and if she let Alex go alone, she didn’t know what could happen. So she took the liberty to grab Alex’s phone and find y/n’s phone number and dialed it. After the phone call, Olivia smiled as she heard the worry on y/n’s voice and the way she said she’d be there as soon as possible to pick up Alex. Olivia then knew that Alex was completely oblivious of y/n’s feelings, and she was pretty sure that y/n was just as oblivious. Not too long after, y/n arrived and introduced herself to everyone, a shy smile on her face as Alex almost screamed her name when she saw her. She was wasted.

The whole ride, y/n had tried not to laugh as Alex kept singing whatever song played in the radio, every now and then, she’d turn to look at her and make sure she was still okay, but Alex looked like she was full of energy, which made y/n realize that once in the apartment, it would be a complete ordeal to get her to sleep, and that was if she was able to, a little afraid that Alex would end up being sick and would have to stay close to the toilet. Once they got to the building, y/n had her arms wrapped around Alex as they walked to the elevator. Alex had been talking nonsense the whole way to their floor, her arms securely wrapped around y/n. Y/n wanted to laugh as she had never seen Alex this way, maybe she had made a mistake to tell Alex that she had never been drunk because she was completely wasted, but y/n found it cute at the same time, and she had no problem in taking care of her. When they were inside the apartment, y/n made sure to sit Alex down so she could go close the door properly and make sure it was locked, but just as y/n left Alex’s side, she started to call for her.

“Y/n! Where did you go?” Alex whined as she leaned back against the couch. “Don’t leave me here!”

Y/n chuckled softly as she walked back into the living room. “Lexi, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I just had to go lock the door. We don’t want someone walking in.”

Alex groaned. “Right. Well, come here now.” She extended her arms as she smiled. “My arms are waiting for you.”

Y/n bit her lip as she held back her laugh. She shook her head and took a deep breath. “Alex, you’re going to bed. It’s late, and you’re drunk. You need sleep.”

Alex groaned again and whined as she let her arms fall. “But y/n! I want cuddles! Why won’t you want to cuddle?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Lexi. But you’re drunk. We can cuddle once you sleep.” Y/n walked to her and helped her get up, wrapping her arms around her waist.

Alex wrapped her arms around her neck and sighed. “You smell so good. You always do.”

Y/n sighed. “So, drunk Alex says her undying love for everyone, huh?” She grinned as they started walking to Alex’s room.

“Mmm…no.” Alex shook her head. “Just for youuuu.” She laughed.

“Right.” Y/n chuckled as she sat Alex on the bed. “You think you can change into your pajamas?”

Alex shrugged. “Can I?”

“I sure hope so, or we’re about to be uncomfortable in the morning when I tell you that I helped you change.” Y/n smiled as she went to Alex’s closet to get a fresh pair of pajamas. She then walked back to Alex and placed the clothes beside her. “Here, try to change while I go to the kitchen.”

Alex nodded rapidly. “Aye, aye, captain!”

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully as she walked out of the room and into the kitchen. She grabbed a snack thinking that maybe at some point in the night, Alex would get hungry, or even right at this moment. She then grabbed a glass of water and some pills for her to take in the morning. She turned off all the lights and then went back to Alex’s room, finding her already laying down in bed but mumbling something as she looked up at the ceiling. Y/n placed everything on Alex’s nightstand and then proceeded to get Alex’s clothes from the floor and the bed, walking to the bathroom and throwing them into the laundry basket. She went back to Alex’s bed and stared at her for a moment, smiling softly. Even drunk, Alex looked adorable and as beautiful as ever, it was almost frustrating. She took a deep breath as she went to Alex’s side and took off her glasses.

“Okay, Lexi. Time to sleep.” Y/n placed the glasses on her nightstand and then looked back at Alex. “You’ll worry about your makeup in the morning.” She tried to pull the covers so Alex could get under them but then Alex’s grabbed her hands.

“Y/n…please stay with me. Pretty please.” Alex pouted as she looked up at her.

Y/n chuckled softly. “Alex, you need sleep.”

“And I’ll sleep but stay with me. I don’t wanna be alone.” Alex pouted again, bringing y/n’s hands to her lips, and kissing them softly. “I want you here.”

Y/n’s breath hitched as she looked down at Alex, nodding softly. “Okay. I’ll stay with you.” She smiled softly and then went around the bed to lay down with Alex.

Before she knew it, Alex was moving and wrapped her arms around y/n’s middle, her head landing on y/n’s chest and sighing happily. Y/n couldn’t help but smile, wrapping her arms around Alex and kissing her head softly. It wasn’t the first time they cuddled, but there was something behind this moment that y/n couldn’t quiet tell what it was, but if she was given the chance, then she’d take it. They stayed quiet for a moment, y/n had started to trace patterns in Alex’s back as she looked up at the ceiling. Eventually, Alex started mumbling again, making y/n frown and look down at Alex, trying to figure out what she was saying.

“What are you saying?” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m upset.” Alex said softly.

“Upset? Why upset?”

Alex sighed. “Y/n.”

Y/n frowned. “Y/n? What did she do?”

Alex sighed again as she looked up at y/n. “She doesn’t know. And I can’t tell her.”

“What doesn’t she know? Is there something you wanna tell her?”

Alex shrugged. “Maybe.” She rested her head again on y/n’s chest. “But can’t.”

“Maybe if you tell her you’ll stop being upset.”

“But then she’ll be upset.”

Y/n suddenly felt butterflies in her stomach, and not the good kind. She knew Alex was drunk, but she had also known that sometimes drunk people spoke the truth, and maybe there was something Alex had been keeping to herself and she hadn’t told y/n not to hurt her. And suddenly she was scared of what could possibly be in Alex’s mind, but she knew better than to push.

“Alex…you should sleep.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

Alex sighed as she looked up at y/n. “I wanna talk to y/n.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I’m here silly.”

Alex smiled. “That’s right.” She chuckled softly. “You beautiful.” She bit her lip, her hand suddenly going to y/n’s face, first stroking her cheek and then her fingertips touched her lips softly. “I like your lips.”

Y/n chuckled softly. “I like yours.”

Alex stared into her eyes and then bit her own lips. “I wanna kiss you.” She whispered softly as she stared at y/n’s lips, almost to herself, but since she was really close to y/n, she heard it.

Y/n gulped as she looked down at Alex. “You’re drunk, Alex. You don’t mean that.”

Alex frowned. “But I do.” She whispered softly, she then sat up and turned to look at y/n. “You…you don’t wanna kiss me?” Her face looked so sad as she asked, making y/n’s heart break a little.

“Alex…” y/n sat down and sighed as she placed her hand on Alex’s cheek, stroking it softly. “I do. But…you’re drunk. I will if this is what you still want in the morning.”

Alex whined. “But I want now.”

“Alex, I-“

Before she could say anything else, Alex placed her hands on y/n’s neck and closed the gap between them, kissing her lips tenderly but also hungrily. Y/n gasped softly, her first thought was pulling away, but her lips seemed to think on their own as she kissed Alex back, her other hand landing on Alex’s waist. Everything seemed to happen too fast as Alex moved to straddle y/n’s lap, pushing her against the pillows and swiping her tongue against y/n’s bottom lip, y/n giving her access right away and moaning as she felt Alex’s tongue. But then the taste of alcohol made her realize what was happening, her hands going to Alex’s shoulders and softly pushing her away, both women panting as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Alex…this is…” Y/n swallowed as she tried to catch her breath. “I’m sorry.”

Alex sighed as she got off y/n’s lap and laid back down on her side, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes started to get teary as she bit her lip.

Y/n turned her head to look at Alex and sighed softly, moving close to her, and kissing her head softly. “You’re drunk, Alex.”

“Just…please don’t leave.” Alex rapidly went back to her arms, burying her face in y/n’s neck.

“Never.” Y/n wrapped her arms around her again as she sighed.

She didn’t know when they both had fallen asleep, the room had fallen into silence as they held each other and after that, both women lost track of time. Y/n groaned softly as she moved and tried to reach for Alex, but then she figured out that Alex’s side was now empty. Y/n opened her eyes and turned her head to try to find Alex, for a moment her mind stupidly thinking that she might’ve fallen to the floor, but then she heard Alex groaning in the bathroom and she stood up rapidly, almost running to the bathroom. She sighed as she found Alex kneeling in front of the toilet. She knelt beside Alex’s and held her hair as she threw up, she had been hoping that this wouldn’t happen, but after seeing how drunk Alex was, she knew it would come at some point during the night.

Alex sighed as she rested her forehead against her arm, mumbling that she was done, y/n stood up and flushed the toilet. Y/n helped Alex get up slowly, trying to not make her dizzy as she tried to stand still. Alex looked at y/n and told her she wanted to brush her teeth, so y/n helped get in front of the sink and got her toothbrush and paste out, preparing it for her and handing it to Alex. After she was done, y/n helped Alex get back to bed and helped her drink some of the water that y/n had brought for her. Alex then laid back in bed and sighed softly.

“Stay?” Alex whispered softly.

Y/n nodded as she crawled back in bed, wrapping her arms around Alex and smiling softly as Alex wrapped her arms around her middle again, feeling Alex’s breath against her neck. Right after, both women fell asleep again.

********************

Alex groaned loudly as she tried to stretch, groaning again as she felt her head pounding badly. She opened her eyes slowly and looked around her room, trying to figure out why her head was hurting that badly. As she slowly sat down, she turned to look at her nightstand and find a glass of water with some painkillers. She looked back around her room again and frowned. She took two pills and then decided to get out of bed, whining as she felt both her head and her shoulders heavy. She then went to the bathroom to wash her face and try to wake up a little more, and as she looked at herself in the mirror, the memory of last night hit her. Shit. She got drunk. She was with the squad, and she stopped counting her drinks. She got drunk. So drunk. And then it hit her again. Y/n. Y/n had seen her like this.

“Fuck.” Alex cursed under her breath as she walked out of the bathroom and out of her room. She slowly walked to the kitchen and stopped in her tracks as she noticed y/n in front of the stove, making breakfast.

Y/n turned her head and smiled softly. “Morning, Lexi.”

“Morning…” Alex whispered, not moving an inch, scared that if she moved, something would happen, or y/n would say something. But she knew they had to talk about last night. She needed to know what she did.

“Breakfast is almost ready. Sit down, I’ll get the coffee.” Y/n smiled as she turned her attention back to what she was doing.

Alex nodded softly and went ahead to sit on one of the stools, her eyes never leaving y/n’s. As she looked at her, she tried to figure out what had happened the night before. She remembered drinking and laughing with the squad. She remembered that they had asked about y/n, and then they started talking about something else, and that’s when she started losing count of her drinks. She remembered being in the car with y/n, making a fool out of herself, and then she remembered getting home. She remembered she had laid in bed, and she had asked y/n to stay. She remembered going to the bathroom and throwing up. But there was something missing, something happened before she woke up to go to the bathroom.

Y/n placed the plate in front of Alex along with her mug. “I’m sure you’re hungry.”

Alex looked at her and offered a small smile. “This looks delicious, thank you.”

“I know you love pancakes with bacon.” Y/n smiled as she grabbed a plate for her and went around the kitchen island to sit beside Alex.

Alex took a bite and smiled softly. She wanted to at least have a bit of food in her system before they started talking. She was sure y/n knew what had happened last night but maybe she was just acting nicely to not make Alex feel bad about it. Eventually, both women finished breakfast and just sat there with their mugs in hand. Alex kept trying to look at y/n, but she would stare back at her mug, wishing the coffee was endless.

“So…about last night.” Y/n started, looking at Alex. “Do you remember anything?”

Alex shrugged. “Not everything.”

Y/n nodded. “What do you remember?”

Alex sighed as she looked at y/n. “Being at the bar. I remember losing count of the drinks. I remember being in the car with you, and then getting home. It’s kind of blurry but I remember going to bed, I was…” she blushed slightly. “I guess I was being clingy, and I asked you to stay.”

Y/n smiled softly. “Yeah, you were cute.”

Alex huffed a chuckle as shrugged. “After that, everything is blurry. I remember getting up to throw up. And then I woke up.”

Y/n sighed as she looked back at her mug. “Got it.”

Alex frowned. “Oh, no. What did I do?”

Y/n looked back at Alex and chuckled softly. “Nothing bad, Alex. Just-“

“Something happened, I know something happened. But I cannot remember. And you know. So, what did I do?”

Y/n took a deep breath as she looked down at her mug again. She nibbled her bottom lip as she tried to put her words in order. “Well…at some point you…started mumbling. You said you were upset, and you wanted to tell me something, but you never did. And then…you uh…you started saying that you wanted to…kiss me.”

Alex closed her eyes as she looked away. “Oh, god.” She whispered softly.

“And you did.”

Alex snapped her head up, turning to look at y/n. “Y/n, I-“

“I kissed you back.” Y/n huffed a chuckle. “We basically made out.” She nibbled on her lip again as she tried to talk again. “I…I shouldn’t have kissed you back, Alex. I am so sorry.”

Suddenly, memories started to appear in Alex’s mind, sighing as she shook her head. “No, y/n…I shouldn’t have kissed you. I…I was drunk, and I was- god. I am so sorry.”

“I took advantage of you, Alex. I should’ve stopped you the moment you kissed me.”

Alex looked back at y/n and frowned. “But I kissed you. I took advantage of you.”

Y/n looked back at Alex. “I wanted you to kiss me.”

Alex’s breath hitched. “What?”

“I wanted you to kiss me.” Y/n shrugged as she looked away. “I had been wanting you to kiss me for so long…I…I got so lost in the kiss, I didn’t know what was going on until I figured out too late. And…I’m so sorry, Alex. I wished so badly for that moment to happen, and it happened, and I couldn’t help it. And then I wished that you’d remember, and you’d want to do it again, but sober. And I-“

“I do.”

Y/n looked at Alex, a hint of hope in her eyes. “You do?”

Alex smiled softly. “I was not upset at you. I was upset at myself because…I never told you that I had feelings for you, and then you started going on dates, and I thought it was too late.”

“I started going on dates because I thought I needed to get over you.”

Alex chuckled softly as she shook her head. “Please, don’t.” She smiled. “I want to kiss you. And I want to be with you. I am so sorry that I had to get drunk for me to tell you this, and that our first kiss had to be that way. I’d do things differently if I could.”

Y/n smiled, standing up and getting between Alex’s legs, her hands going to Alex’s cheeks and stroking them softly. “Then let’s have our second kiss.”

Alex smiled softly as she placed her hands on y/n’s waist and leaned in to kiss her lips softly. Even if y/n had to admit that last night’s kiss was everything, this had topped that kiss; it was everything she always imagined when she thought about kissing Alex. So tender, so sweet, so full of emotions, there was nothing left to say after the kiss, they were talking through it. Y/n couldn’t help but smile against her lips, breaking the kiss but staying in place, making Alex smile too.

“You know.” Y/n whispered softly, looking into blue eyes. “You’re very clingy when you’re drunk.”

Alex chuckled softly. “Please never let me get drunk again.”

Y/n chuckled as she kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ll think about it. Because you were really cute.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “I’ll be clingy, but I’ll never get drunk again.”

“Deal.” Y/n smiled and kissed her lips softly again.

#alex cabot x reader #alex cabot #alexandra cabot #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

[yonemurishiroku]

(tags via @smartichokes) In light of new addition to my Luke & Nico replacement post, I have so much to say about this.

Firstly, there is a fanfic in which Kronos switched to Nico as his host halfway through the series. I said fic, Nico went to Tartarus wayyyyy sooner than he should (which is sometime right after TTC I think?), and got captured by Kronos' force. The Titan considered seizing him, so Luke left the Titan Army and returned to the light side.

With that being said, the Nico in said fic didn't become the host, as Luke (and Ethan) got him out before the taking-over.

In another fic, which is about Nico's apotheosis, It is established that Kronos has been taunting Hades to become his host since he is his eldest child, and as a result, Nico would suffer the same fate should he become a God. Nico didn't, of course, but we can see that he can be a great candidate for the position of Kronos’ host Due to the potential he possesses as a child of Hades. I have talked so much about how powerful he is so I suppose this goes without saying.

On the other hand, the child of the prophecy was supposed to be the son of an eldest god, so let's imagine: Nico is a child of an elder god and now is basically One of the main factors that dictate their fate being the central of Kronos' power. Can you imagine the thrill of having both the antagonist and the protagonist a child of the big three, knowing both of them have the power to change the flow of the story? Nico might as well be the child of the prophecy and now he is in the hands of the big bad villain? Who is to say he wouldn't choose to raze the Olympic to the ground? Please, I cannot be the only one seeing the thrill of second-guessing yourself and watching Percy second-guessing himself, page by page.

Back to our AU.

- Absolutely invested in Nico with Kronos' golden eyes.

- Idk if you have noticed, but there are a number of people who would very much be delighted to see Nico joining the Titan Army - so that's a plus. Though we haven't thought as far as putting him directly in Luke's place, this is such a fun territory to play with.

On the other hand, we should have thought about that lmao what's with Minos having done exactly like this in the canon. The King did manipulate Nico in order to accelerate his uprising (tho Rick wasn't unhinged enough to give the Underworld ghosts the benefit of possessing living things except for the eidolons).

Minos failed ofc. But surely the scenario is there. Furthermore, a big reason that hindered Minos was Nico's true control over him, which returned to him upon his enlightenment, thus breaking the fake power balance. But Nico didn't have any control over Kronos. Once he's in, there's no way out. Kronos is on another level compared to Minos. Luke had one way out and that was his death. Who to say the arms of Hades wouldn't be Nico's ending should he succumb to Kronos anw.

- I like the way you mention Percy - because as it turns out, Nico can perfectly mirror Luke regarding how Percy's fatal flaw is portrayed.

Percy's fatal flaw can be summed up in one sentence - "You would sacrifice the world to save a friend". Now, for Luke, it was thanks to the guy's friendly facade at the start that Percy had trouble deeming him as the enemy at first. For Nico, that's a little different. It's not friendship - bc surely Percy didn't consider 'friend' at that time. So what could it be?

The guilt. And the Loyalty from which it sprouted.

But loyalty to what?

To Bianca's promise.

And this varies between perspectives, but I suspect this can be much, much worse than what transpired with Luke if you know how to play it right. Why? Because it weighs on Percy's kindness, his conscience, his loyalty, his morals. It feels heavier. For Luke, it was a personal betrayal. For Nico, it would be a repeated failure that resulted in two deaths.

And I doubt Percy is fond of failures and deaths.

Do you know the saying that we tend to remember bad things rather than good memories? That. Failures stuck with us, whilst success paled in comparison (Not to mention the vague depiction of Percy's lost self-esteem, but I digress).

For Luke, it might be easier: the guy's now an enemy, Percy just had to put him down - straight and clear. For Nico, it's a little bit different. The kid's obviously an enemy - but he's also that: a kid. Whose sister died in front of Percy, whom he blamed still. You can tell that the setup itself might make it harder for Percy to just straight-up consider Nico an enemy - because as it was, Nico could very well be a victim of Percy's broken promise. Percy is half a reason he fell into the hands of Kronos - as you've said.

And Percy isn't evil. He's a protagonist and he's kind. His morals would prevent him from seeing Nico as an enemy that must be taken out - not before trying restlessly to bring the kid back.

- Percy aside, Hades’ support - and all the little benefits gained from Nico's side quest - should also be taken into account. Without Nico, there wouldn't be the Curse of Achilles. Without Nico, there would be no undead army rushing to save them in the last minute in the last Olympian, but rather a flock of unbeatable enemies that would persist like Nico’s grief for Bianca.

I wouldn't say that guarantees their failure but you have to admit that it would make things hella more difficult for them to win this war.

So that is for the advantages. Now let's talk about the drawbacks. Because obviously things wouldn't be so fun if everything goes that smoothly. 👍

The most noticeable difference between Luke and Nico is their ages, and further, their experiences. At the time he was chosen, Luke has lived until his 17, 18 as a demigod, has seen the mythological world more than Nico ever did. He would know better how to navigate the system, which would benefit Kronos more than a clueless Nico. You can argue that Kronos can properly train him as Minos did, but the fact remains that Luke has experiences that can only be gained through living, aging, and seeing.

On the same topic, after losing his sister, Nico was just a rage-driven, angry, lost 11-12-year-old kid. He could barely take care of himself. He obviously cannot govern and command an entire army. Luke, on the other hand, has many skills required to be a leader. I have talked about this once. He has the tongue, he has his charms, he's manipulative enough. As a tool and a weapon, Luke proves to be a better choice to be the pioneer of Kronos' revolution.

Of course, unless you need a puppet, in which case Nico proves to be a better choice. He was naive .he didn't know better. Luke try to resist because he saw how devastating his actions were/ would be. It should be much easier to fool a kid like Nico rather than an adult, thus limiting the chances of rebuke. I cannot recall exactly what Kronos was trying to do though, so I'll just leave this here.

The best method is of course to keep Luke while getting Nico ready, however, it would put kronos plans back a few years and I'm not really sure the guy would be that patient provided that he has been waiting thousand years to make a come back. So we will just leave it like that.

All in all, it's fun to think about a scenario in which the one whose contribution directly leads to their victory in the original series now becomes the main antagonist, the main reason they will likely fail. Thank you @smartichokes for the delightful idea!! 🥺🥺🥺

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #luke castellan #nico and luke #luke and nico reversal au #<- official name bc obviously i have to give it one #percy jackson #hades (pjo) #bianca di angelo #over analyzing

[lightning-and-sparks]

So for the dancers power levels, does that come into play later with an intra-group conflict or with them and an outside force? I really loved the scene where Brezziana, Sara, and Mihaly talked about Jack’s power because of how it brought out their different sides and started that thread of a conflict between them and power. Is the order of it Wander>Mihaly>Brezziana>Sara>Jack? Is that something that subconsciously rules the governs the group? You’ve done such an amazing job of fleshing everyone out and making them seem like friends, but ones who may have their bonds fracture under the situation. Also just wanted to say you did such an incredible job on all of Thorns, between its length and subplot management, well written and meaningful OCs, and worldbuilding, but my favorite part is how you’ve handled the Dancers as a whole, especially from Jack’s perspective!

Oh, now this is a good one! So early on, it already was a very different idea to give Jack some kind of power. I think when I first saw the Locked Out of Heaven map my first thought was that it was him holding up the mirrors and when they changed to show Night Swan it was his own mental struggle taking over. On terms of power dynamics, you nailed it. I knew I wanted to have Jack and Wander on opposite ends of the spectrum. As prideful as Jack and NS were/are, Jack’s low ability for magic (after being a descendant of Night Swan) is seen as embarrassing and is something that upsets him.

The whole story has been about him being undermined and overwhelmed by the people close to him. When he hears them discussing how he isn’t strong enough to defeat them and he’s basically at their mercy it reveals the dynamic of him being below them more clearly. Jack’s hesitance to pursue Wander subconsciously comes back to that. He knows if things go wrong between them, it will be him cut off from the group, if you go back to that hierarchy you mentioned before, Wander is the only thing keeping them intertwined because he can bridge the gap between planets.

I think what makes Thorns convincing is how messy and flawed characters and situations seem. No one there is perfect and are prone to failure. Unconsciously, although they detest that fact, they have some fear of Jack. Compared to Wander who stayed for a period of time afterwards (events of majesty) he no longer has that weary. His race does come back into play because it’s an Eternyx centered story. Eternians are not common outside their domain so that adds to his suspicion.

It was challenging to balance so many characters at once but I think I did okay. It gave me a lot of eyes and ears to work with so it was helpful. I thought having parts where they’re scattered or paired off worked well to show their personal connections. Jack is seen with them all one-on-one at some point. I held off on Brezz and his encounter because I had cold feet on how the reaction to Brezz’s friendship came about. She’s a very selfless character so I wanted to see her take something for herself just for it to come back to her actual carrying, if that makes sense?

I think as a group it’s difficult to take very individual characters and have them work effectively together. I don’t think all of them would have done some of the things Jack had done (that’s why he chooses to leave them out of certain events) he’s also struggling to regain himself and wants his image to come out unscathed. He doesn’t tell them about certain encounters with Roland in order to protect his pride and hide his shame. Although he doesn’t act like it, he cares a whole lot what they think of him. I mean, he’s always held under high scrutiny so he sees friendship as the same concept.

Thank you so much! I really wish I could explain all the thought and trial and failure that went into Thorns. It took a lot of energy and time to hold each strand of a story together and expand and fill plot holes to fix narrative problems in the beginning. There are a lot of gags and stupid shit that I put in there, namely Brezz’s Crocs because I thought it was funny and I rep an obnoxious pair of yellow Crocs that I get some awesome hate over 💪 these questions are awesome and I’d love to field more! I have a whole lot to say.

#just dance #just dance 2023 #There are Thorns on the Roses they Throw #jack rose just dance #fanfic #wanderlust #jd sara #just dance 2024 #jd brezziana #jd mihaly #asks #i loved this question ahhhh

[theoneandonlygothicrainbow]

Why the “Hunter needs therapy first” argument is a bad argument against Huntlow and other Hunter ships

I often hear the “Hunter needs therapy first” argument against many Hunter ships, especially Huntlow. While I’m sure most people mean well, I think people need to realize that this argument is not only inaccurate, but also problematic.

Full Disclaimer: I have nothing against people who don’t care for Huntlow as a ship. This blog is not meant to force the ship on anyone or discourage other ships. It’s just meant to deconstruct a common argument against it that sends unfortunate implications.

1. When you state that argument against a ship like that, you are basically implying that Huntlow is a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Whether you like the ship or not, stating that Huntlow is toxic is outright false.

Despite their rocky start in Any Sport in a Storm, at the end of the day Hunter meant no harm towards Willow, and he was willing to right his wrong when he gets NOTHING out of it. In fact, from Willow’s perspective, he was about to fucking DIE. On top of that, you know that Hunter regrets his choice. Not only did he OUTRIGHT STATE IT in Any Sport in a Storm, but we see it as among his most painful memories in Labryinth Runners. That says a lot considering what Hunter has gone through.

Regret doesn’t make you repeat actions. It makes you change for the better. There’s no doubt in my mind Hunter would make sure he never does anything close to what he did in ASIAS ever again. Huntlow helped Hunter feel genuine happiness, find new friends he can start to trust, and overall break away from his toxic environment. How in the hell is that problematic?!?!

2. A relationship can have a variety of different effects on someone’s mental health depending on the state of it. For some, it would help significantly. For others, it would be harmful. And there are people who fall somewhere in between as well. Someone’s psychology is more complicated than “this thing is good” and “this thing is bad.” A lot of factors come into play that can have different effects on people.

In Hunter’s case, his whole arc is about loving himself and finding people who care about him. He already has trust issues. A relationship would actually be helpful in this case, because it gives Hunter the opportunity to trust again, and even love himself.

On top of that, Hunter has been dealing with a lot of concerns about his life, and they may not be stuff he fully understands himself. So a relationship with someone who can deeply relate to him would actually provide a safe space where Hunter can open up about problems he has.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. “What about his friendships with Luz and Gus?” Yes, Hunter has strong bonds with both of them, but at the end of the day they don’t know Hunter deep enough for him to approach them about deeper issues he may be having.

They deeply care about him, but they aren’t as understanding about his thought process and how he takes things in. Willow is, because they have a much deeper connection and relate more on an identity and value level, rather than an experience level.

3. I have talked to people who have traumatic experiences, and all of their reactions have ranged from not understanding to being downright offended. Please keep in mind that people feel hurt and invalidated by this argument. Again, I’m sure most people mean well. But it’s important for you to understand that the argument can be very harmful and send the message that people with mental health problems don’t deserve love until they get their “issues” sorted out.

Relationships can help heal someone and they don’t need to necessarily fix themselves before they end up in one. If people needed to be completely mentally sound before ending up in relationships, we would have about 10% of the relationships we have today. After the toxic relationships Hunter has been exposed to throughout his life, he needs to develop healthy ones. It’s what will help him heal. Finding a soulmate who unconditionally loves you for who you are and is willing to provide comfort would help Hunter a ton.

This argument can also apply to fanon ships involving Hunter such as Huntmira or Goldric. While I am a huge Huntlow shipper, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with shipping Hunter with other characters. Stop saying he shouldn’t be shipped because “he needs therapy first.”

If you have gone through a traumatic experience, you have every right to dislike a Hunter ship if you dislike the idea of Hunter getting into a relationship after what he’s been through. But keep in mind that your feeling is not universal. And if you haven’t, you don’t get to say whether it’s toxic or not. I’m speaking on behalf of people who have gone through these experiences, and everyone I’ve talked to has said that they disagree with the argument.

In conclusion, the therapy argument from the perspectives I’ve heard is at best a hypocritical stretch and at worse an invalidating and unhealthy mindset that encourages people not to heal from their past trauma. Stop making this argument against a harmless ship. Because you’re being harmful.

#toh season 3 #toh golden guard #toh hunter #toh #toh s3 #toh season three #huntlow #toh willow #hunter noceda #the owl house #hunter the golden guard #hunter clawthorne #willow park #hunter x willow

[lovebirdgames]

I finished Clark's route a couple of times over by now, and I want to tell you how much I am LOVING THIS!

I loved it when it brought up the need to plot an escape, because this is exactly what I go to yandere/horror romance for! I love being given crazy situations that you have to think your way out of, and you have a decent amount of time to do so. I love stuff like this because it makes life feel like a puzzle to be solved, and I get this euphoric feeling that if I can just think through a problem with all of my options, I can escape anything.

I love the characterization of Poptart! I love that just having a different perspective of a character can change their name in the text boxes. This is just so amazing, thank you!

I love seeing the relationship develop between Cadence and Clark. At first, I was a bit upset that there wasn't much romantic action going on between them, but it just made it so much better when he finally did show his love for her! It was SO cute when Garth and Susie came to Cadence's rescue in the ending! I love that they immediately reacted like normal people, not characters in a romance, expecting a romance.

I love that even though Cadence and Susie go through so much to separate them, they still want to be friends, and want to work through their issues instead of just ditching each other because it's easier. This gave me hope in humanity, and I am so grateful that you included this in the story! I need more stuff like this, stuff that gives life a different perspective. I've struggled in the past, viewing people the same as tissues, not having a friend longer than a year, but this gave me hope that my bestie and I can stay friends even after this one year together.

This friend is the one who told me about this game a few months ago. I am so happy to see this release the year that I am almost the same age as Cadence, so I can see myself in her shoes and love a 16-year-old for about three years before feeling weird about the age gap. I'm sure it doesn't matter to some people, but it matters to me, and that's just a special treat for me.

The ending did leave me a little confused. It's weird to just change the mechanics of a school like that.

I just want to mention something about the storyline, and I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but I realized while playing my second time that some of the bad parts of this game happen right on my birthday. My birthday lands on the day that they were supposed to do something fun but weren't able to. I know that if I were in that situation next year, I would start sobbing hysterically. I would hate to make big plans for my sweet sixteen only to improvise the way that they did. August birthdays😭

WOOOOO! Wow, thank you so much for all of your feedback!! I'm really happy that the game spoke to you on such a deep level, especially the themes surrounding friendship. I'll admit I wasn't perfect on that front either and lost my fair share of friends during my middle and high school years, but as you grow, you will better learn which ones are worth keeping around.

It's very cool that you got to experience the game right around Cadence's age. Even as you get older, there's nothing that says you can't stop loving these characters. They'll always be here for you when you need them.

#ask bcb #bcb spoilers

[riftwalker-limbro]

well apparently angst is in the air today and it bit me too so

i've always examined vince vs jay from his own perspective but what do pule and verica even think.

edit post-writing this: oh this is a hot pile of half-formatted brain vomit. click the read more at your own risk. my goal was to get my thoughts straight, and i did, and now this is a mess and i'm not fucking fixing it

pule did his grieving while he was still human, i think. he never did expect to see jay again, but once he remembers the worst period of his fucking life while sitting next to the two (well, 1.9) people who notable weren't there for it, it's... well, a shock is putting it lightly, i imagine. they know his name, they have the right vibes that, despite the fact he'd never felt them as human like he could now as a warframe with transference, just fit - mostly. not all of it is correct, but enough is, and the second he manages to ask if it's jay, he gets swiftly but gently corrected, that, well, yes, but also it's vince now.

once he finds out Why it's vince now, pule struggles hard with being confronted with the walking, breathing truth of accidentally getting his best friend actually killed for a while still. part of the grieving process gets reset entirely, and as friend fashion show has pointed out so excellently, it does do pule a lot of good to hang out a lot with others (bruiser, notably) that he doesn't have a painful shared past with. the threads he dropped with jay are easy to pick back up with vince, though: sharing old jokes and making new ones referencing stuff only they know, ways of thinking that are still almost identical after years of close friendship, etc. they grew together for a significant formative period of their lives, and that still affects just how suited to be each other's friend they are.

verica has a more complex headspace around this. she actively searched for him, knowing that he hadn't died but instead had become a warframe, even though he stopped pinging on the orokin radars even before she got apprehended and warframe'd herself. there's such a huge chance that he's dead, but dammit, if anyone can do the impossible, it should be the mathematician who'd managed to put a pencil into a pocket dimension between solid reality & the poisonous void. and she's... partially right.

when she wakes up on kelth's orbiter, she's going to think the idiot before her is jay. he'd done it, he'd managed to come back from the dead, and found her scattered clues. and, well, we know it isn't really jay anymore. he doesn't even confess the whole thing, at first - he just says, well, i go by vince now. and she rolls with it completely because why wouldn't she. it's only when the cracks start to show, both in his behaviour and in one certain scene between the three of them that i'm sure i'll die two and a half times while writing before i'll get it just right, that she actually realises that Nope, Not Jay. Not Like That Anymore.

she struggles with even just accepting it in her head, at first - he's so much like jay, pinging Correct in so many little ways, but he's Not, calling him by that name hurts him, and thinking of him as jay is wrong for the person vince is now. she goes through the period of grief she hadn't allowed herself even before everything.

and now, all three of them are in the same space, grieving the shit that happened to them, that one of them had to die, but at least they now have each other again. for reasons mentioned before, bonds with vince are built up extremely fast, and they quickly get to the same level of friendship they were at with jay. they go beyond, even - vince needs them more than jay did, even if he might not want to phrase it like that to not force them into anything, but they respond to it in kind. one of the consequences of the way warframes are fundamentally changed, made more rigid and less flexible, from humans in my lore makes it so that they will seek out familiarity at ridiculous costs. removing the memories from fresh frames was a fix for that by the orokin, but you can't just make something Rigid/Inflexible, apply a Change, and expect it to not eventually pop back into its original shape like memory foam.

pule & verica is also an interesting initial dynamic, i think. pule feels guilty for, well, everything - he's still under the impression that he'd gotten ghosted for life, and the fact that the warframe he'd been glaring at from the corner of his eyes, the one that had looked way too much like the recently-vanished artist octavia to be anything like a respectful tribute, had actually been her all along and he hadn't even bothered to look into it- he does struggle with it. of her own part, verica's shocked to see him at all, didn't realise that he'd whole ass up and volunteer for the program if she also disappeared, didn't realise that sitting down and letting herself grieve with him had also been an option. i imagine she does also initially carry some guilt over this, though she gets over hers significantly faster than pule does, both because it's just Less Significant Levels of Guilt & because she's just way more prone to Alright Oops Let's Move On than he is (hi. musician who's been in public about it here. making mistakes & moving on like nothing happened is a Necessary & Learned Skill. show must go on & all that)

i think pule would initially expect her to be hostile towards him, after he gets over the shock of "holy shit you're a warframe too? holy shit you're That Warframe? i was never ghosted on purpose??". but 1. even if she did have the right to get hostile, which she knows she doesn't, it wouldn't do anything, and 2. buddy friend we're still here after everything why would i be mad about getting this second chance at life. i've already lost my other friends and family and everything from that life, just let me hang on to you and this other idiot with all the strength left in me.

anyway, that's how the three of them become inseparable on an almost-physical level. a true triad. they get a shared bedroom and sleep together in a pile and everything. you'll find out

#vince #verica #pule #deimos triad #rift lore #vince is trying his damn best to suffer melodramatically from main character syndrome and i am perpetually beating him back with a stick #i mean this is still about Him. but not from his POV for a fucking change. interesting exercise. #enough whinging about Character Receiving Disproportionate Amounts of Attention in my tags bye #part of this isn't gonna make sense to anyone who isn't friend fashion show bc i've actually shown them the outline for some of this #but Nyeh. coherency is not a guarantee on this blog and it never will be. asks are open if you want. always up to develop more in detail #halfway through typing this. i already had an outline for collective but actually this is. going to throw so much around in there #and that's a fantastic thing that's a great thing #i feel like i've been missing these key thoughts. i want the difference between jay and vince respected #and this is so much more the way to do it than what i had previously #identity crisis time. for me AND for all of my triad. get fucked. #tag essay oops. condolences if you're on mobile and got carpal tunnel scrolling past this after accidentally opening it

[nextinline-if]

Long Anon Response - Spoilers Below

Okay, so, dear anon who sent the original message, I didn't want to wait to respond till Friday because you send the third message. And I understand you're reading other people's thoughts in response. Plus, I only shared a part of your previous message due to spoilers but I want to provide the full context as I think that's fairer. So, I'll respond under the cut to hide spoilers. This is VERY long! Some of the photos are long so you will probably need to click on them to view them properly - sorry!

MC's personality will be able to change more as the game progresses, because the player will have more control. But they are 21 years old, so they are somewhat fixed in that sense. They've already had some experiences.

Okay, so as for Anna, I think I've shared a few thoughts since you sent me this and the last thing I really want to add is that Anna is an important character, particularly when it comes to James. This is MC's story, but James is their twin and important to the story, too (he did abdicate after all).

Some people like Anna and others don't, which is fine. But I did write her the way I did for some reasons I can't reveal right now. Now, I've heard a few times that people don't like certain things she does, like going to F & Felix at the ball and that they would like more reactions after as well. That's acceptable and valid, and I can (and will) create some additional choices to give the player more control.

Yes, F did fuck off and more about that will be revealed in Chapter 2. Again, it is actually tied to the larger plot. I've already started writing the scene for it. Your feedback is not the first time I've heard that people want more reactions when meeting F. I actually made some changes before releasing the demo. However, I recognize that I do need to add some more there, such as reluctant, etc. And, that's on my to-do list.

As for Constantine's introduction and allowing him to call the MC by name, there's already a dynamic there of because of their positions. My goal was to make it more approachable because this is both a romance and friendship game. So, relationship building. Constantine has literally saved James' life multiple times and is his best friend, so I though it would be okay to try and level the playing field here. Then, at the ball, he does use formal titles in front of the Queen. Still, I understand your perspective and how it comes across.

I will say I somewhat disagree with your statement of "Suddenly getting mad." I thought that I included throughout the demo, MC's thoughts about people shutting them down and their frustrations. These thoughts were not always voiced, but were sprinkled in. However, I'm going to take a closer look and see if I can emphasize that more. Because the office scene is meant to be a build up to them standing up for themself.

I'm not changing the stuff with the Gods. My goal is not to give the player less if they don't pray. I'm an atheist so that would kind of ironic lol. MC will have opportunities to gain some of those attributes that they missed if they did not pray. I am sorry that it seems the player gets penalized for not praying but I'm happy with the direction of that portion of the game. I will keep your feedback in mind though because I don't want to accidentally create additional areas of the game where that feeling is present.

Yes, MC has been training for about 5 years at the compound, and there will be more about this in future chapters (2 and/or 3). They were training to be a well-rounded citizen of Castelon, not a Monarch. Does that mean they aren't prepared education wise? No. I'm going to do my best to make it so the next chapter gives a lot more choices and personality steering. However, and I've mentioned this in some places before, MC will not have a completely set personality. Like "just stoic" or "just XYZ." But I will do my best to give more control/options to the players.

If you felt that MC was a pawn, then you felt what I intended. I wanted them to feel like a pawn in the demo so that they can become a proper player at court in the future.

I didn't officially share Felix's letter because I'm thinking I will in the game.

I don't think you or anyone was trying to force me to make changes - so sorry if I seemed like I did. As I mentioned, I do try to please people and that's my own issue. Not yours. But it does carry over into my work because, obviously, I want people to like the game I'm putting out.

Yes, I did put work out there, so it's fine for you to share your opinion. And just as you share your opinion, other people will share their opinion based on whatever you said. All of that said, I'm fine with getting feedback. I believe that I can have an emotional response to something and still accept it and be willing to talk about it. Your feedback didn't upset me because it was critiquing my work, but because I consider myself a feminist and from what I read, it made me feel embarrassed about what I wrote. Again, that's not on you at all - my feelings BUT again, I think it's fine to have an emotional response to something. I am a person who feels a lot of things so that's how I work through it all.

Thanks for your sharing your thoughts - really! I do appreciate it and will be considering it as I work on the game.

On that note, my messages should be open. Or if it's more comfortable for you, my discord is: writingmysoul#6083 or my email is nextinlinegame [at] gmail.com. I'm willing to talk privately with you or anyone else. I hope I don't come across as unwilling to take feedback because I'm very happy to hear it.

#spoilers #anon reply #demo thoughts #feedback

[mediacrushin]

My two cents on the Amphibia ending, from the perspective of a lurker who experienced it via secondary sources.

I can understand why people didn't like the ending, you see this whole build up of the 3 mains connecting with this wonderful world making friends and new second families, only for them to be separated never to see each other again. You see the same 3 mains go through trials and tribulations before cementing their friendship so strongly they fight off an ultimate evil before returning to their world and separating for 10 years...

But if the show is about change--both on a personal level where the characters take control of their trajectory, and on an outside level where they learn to let change happen around them out of their control--it makes sense to have them drift apart before coming back together. Because even the very best of friends, the ones you feel like you could save the world together with, still can drift apart. Either by outside change like Marcy having to move away, or just because you grow in different ways as people and that growth takes you in opposite directions like Sasha and Anne.

And that's okay! It doesn't mean the bond is gone, it doesn't diminish the adventures or experiences you went through together. I think it's wonderful to show kids that you don't have to stay in constant contact or all follow the same path to still have a connection to the people you care about. You are free to become the best you, and your friends are free to become the best them, independent of each other. The world is always changing, and people are part of that change. But the wonderful thing about people is that there is no limit to the love we can share and we can extended as much as we want without worry of 'wasting' any if we grow apart from those we share it with.

Make all the fanart and fanfiction you like of the trio going back to Amphibia, or growing up in closer touch, you're more than free to do so. But the ending as is is still lovely and important.

#amphibia #amphibia spoilers #the hardest thing

[home-on-the-wastes]

Culture Shock (1/?)

Butch is out of Vault 101 less than twenty-four hours before he finds himself in trouble. A familiar face is there to assist, but it allows Butch to see just how much his old bullying victim has changed since his initial foray into the Capital Wasteland. Characters: Harper Donovan (Lone Wanderer), Butch DeLoria, Megaton residents Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death (Mentioned), Developing Friendships, Grief/Mourning, Raiders, Megaton, Bonding, Survivor Guilt, Closeted Character, Angst, Good Karma Lone Wanderer Author's Note: Harper Donovan, my Lone Wanderer, is transgender. This is before her transition, and since it's from Butch's perspective, he refers to Harper using he/him pronouns. Part 1 // 2 // ?

Butch had shit luck to meet some of the weirdest people in the Capital Wasteland mere hours after leaving Vault 101. He thought he had a pretty good idea of what to expect: a place that was lawless, merciless, every man for himself. But, at the same time, it was supposed to be ripe with opportunity.

Turns out, it was primarily an opportunity to get shot at because the first group of people he ran into wanted to kill him.

Butch had followed signs of life after leaving Vault 101 with ease, coming across an absolutely leveled neighborhood that only really registered as one thanks to the few comics they had in the vault.

He wasn’t the only one who flocked towards the remnants of history. There were weird, roaming groups of people that skulked about, and he could get behind skulking. Creeping up to investigate, taking cover behind bits of wood and drywall, Butch marveled at the ingenuity of their armor–repurposed tires, metal plating–but the bloodthirsty look in their eyes kept him focused. 

Butch knew he wasn’t the stealthiest of people, but he didn’t expect to be caught that fast.

“Hey!” one of them barked–a guy with a mohawk and leather armor that had to be more for show than practicality since it covered very little of him. His buddy, a bald guy with a rifle, took a shot at Butch, narrowly missing his head as he ducked back down behind a wall.

With limited ammo and options, Butch made a break for some of the rocky cliff sides lining part of the beat-up road. He scrambled up one of the outcroppings to be met with one or two more lunatics. 

“Crap,” he hissed between gritted teeth. “Crap, shit, fuck–”

A shot rang out as a bullet grazed his hand. Instinctively, Butch dropped the 10mm, and before he could grab it, another warning shot landed at his feet. He froze, hands awkwardly in the air in a surrendering position–if they would allow that.

“Gotcha!” A scantily clad blonde woman with severed hands on her belt gleefully approached, face pretty but cruel. “Aww, isn’t he cute? Maybe we can keep ‘em.”

“Nah, the boss just wants caps and gear,” replied another, a large man with bulging muscles. He turned a sledgehammer in his hands, dried blood crusted on the edge. Butch couldn’t see the guy’s expression past the welding mask. “Might as well bash his brains in quick. Hold still.”

“Whoa, whoa, I don’t have any caps,” Butch insisted, glancing back the way he came. A handful of other raiders–including the initial two who started the chase–kept close, coming around the sides of the short cliff. Butch backed up, his feet near the edge again, nowhere to run. “I don’t have anything, all right?”

“Got a jacket,” mused the woman with the hands. “And a gun. And such pretty, pretty fingers. Never worked a day in your life, did you?”

Butch recoiled and instinctively brought his hands closer to his chest. His initial pursuers laughed like they were in on an inside joke.

“Maybe we can have some fun with him before we steal his shit,” offered Mohawk. The way he looked Butch up and down gave Butch the creeps more than any radroach. “That school’s not far from here–”

The guy didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. A pop silenced him, words still forming as he slipped forward in a pool of his own blood, the right half of his skull now missing.

Another pop rang out. The bald man in leather shorts lost an eye and crumpled to the ground, firearm clattering uselessly against the dirt and rocks. Butch instinctively crouched, unsure of where the shot came from. He saw a dot of a quick-moving figure charging down the hill from the south, far away. A third shot landed between the remaining raiders, their numbers dwindling in seconds.

“Fuck, scatter!” shouted the woman, only for a chunk to be taken out of her neck by a well-aimed shot at the jugular. 

The man in front of Butch, still heaving the sledgehammer, whirled around. As he roared and reached for something on his belt, he let the sledgehammer carry its momentum, knocking Butch on his ass. He chucked something away from them, at the figure who was definitely advancing and then turned back to Butch.

An explosion went off somewhere in the distance. Butch rolled, narrowly missing the hammer delivering a blow to his face. He grabbed the dropped 10mm pistol and rolled again, unloading the round into the guy. The man crumpled while Butch jumped to his feet. “Hell yeah–”

There was a short burst of fire from one of the raiders, narrowly missing Butch’s feet. He jumped back, the soles of his boots barely getting any good traction on the small cliff face–

–and then Butch fell to the ground, a good ten feet below. Something cracked, knocking the breath from him. He could still hear shouting and gunfire as he tried to get his bearings. He still felt his fingers and toes and could move his limbs, but everything hurt so bad he could barely think. 

Butch tried to get his bearings, to see if he could move. Any time he twisted his right leg, pain shot up his spine. His lungs burned with every breath, short, punctuating things to keep him alive and to keep him from crying out. He didn’t know where his pistol went, but he still felt his switchblade in his pocket. Butch managed to grab the handle and start to try and crawl out of the rocks, knife at the ready for anything.

Then there was a looming shape over him, and Butch screamed at the top of his lungs, swinging at the raider with his switchblade. The raider jumped back, raised up his hands–and stepped away?

“Butch, calm down! You’re all right, you’re all right–fuck’s sake, Butch, just–fucking listen to me!”

Butch went still and quiet, dumbfounded. “Harper?”

“Fucking hell,” Harper continued, crawling over a few fallen rocks to get to Butch. Harper never raised his voice in the vault, but now it came out like a command. “Sit tight. I’m going to get you out of there, okay?”

“What do you–” Butch yelped again, this time in pain, as Harper grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him further into the open air. The slew of profanities he spouted out was only rivaled by Harper’s calming, reassuring statements, just reminding Butch that he was going to be okay.

“Did you fall off the cliff?”

“No,” lied Butch.

“You’ve been out of the Vault less than twenty four hours.” Harper shook his head and rifled through his knapsack. “Fucking Christ, Butch, you could’ve been killed.”

It gave Butch a moment to marvel at him. The vault gear Harper had slipped into during the issue in Vault 101 was gone, and now he wore dedicated, well-maintained combat armor. It was a scruffy green with a four-leaf clover and two swords on the chest over the heart. Other details had been added, including what looked like a carved ‘101’ on the shoulder and a small blue ribbon tied near one of the various pouches around the belt. “Listen, you’re lucky I was passing by.”

“What, you my guardian angel now?” asked Butch, hissing as Harper gently turned his leg. “Fucking fuck that hurts–”

“I don’t have a lot of medical supplies, so you’re just going to have to stick with me for a little, got it?” Harper looked around. “C’mon, give me your arm.” 

Butch, senses dulling due to the pain by the minute, nodded and allowed himself to be manhandled as Harper threw Butch’s arm over his shoulders and slowly started leading him down the road. 

“Where we goin’?”

“Megaton–now shut up, you’re heavy and I can’t walk, talk, and carry you all at the same time…”

Next >>

#fallout 3 #fallout #fo3 lone wanderer #oc: harper donovan #fanfic #butch deloria

[shahronak47]

Why big organizations shouldn't stop/reduce air travel to reduce air pollution?

It is heartwarming to know that a lot of people have started thinking about climate change and our environment in general on a serious note. They are aware of the harm that we are doing to nature and its implications that we have to face.

A lot of individuals/organizations have been taking up steps to do their part in reducing it. Today, I want to discuss one such step and discuss its pros and cons.

Discouraging travel to reduce carbon emissions.

This is the most common step which I have heard a lot of companies take to reduce their carbon footprint. The intention is right since I read that jet fuel is consumed at the whooping rate of 4 liters/second. That is a lot, I mean a lot lot!! .But my question is, is it the right and most effective thing to do to reduce carbon footprint?

I want to discuss this topic from the perspective of organizations and not on a personal level. What are the potential upsides for an organization that is possible with travel?

- There are a lot of global teams, and meeting them face to face actually increases the engagement between them. They get to know each other on a personal level and sometimes best friendships are created because of this. Once the bond is built, it can be carried out virtually if needed but building this initial connection is important. To create the same bonding HR spends a ton lot of resources but I think this is something that should happen naturally and this is possible by travel.

- If you increase employee engagement or create friends that are trustworthy I believe that will also increase staff retention. Employees will be more open to sharing their challenges with their colleagues who are now also their friends and they now have a good support system/friendship in place here so that they will think twice before switching jobs and giving up this support system.

- Travel for employees is also important to attend conferences and meetups to increase their technical knowledge which they bring back to the organization. The organization anyway has a budget for self-learning and does have a lot of initiatives to increase the knowledge of their employees. This is another way to do that.

- Employees feel valued.

- All the above points results in the employee being more loyal to the organization and being more productive which again benefits the organization.

I think these are too big of upsides that a company should give up.  But on the other hand, it is true that air travel does a lot of air pollution and it is not good for our environment but there should be another way to fix it, reducing air travel in my opinion is not the right direction. Let me explain why.

- If you look at the number of flights YOY https://financesonline.com/number-of-flights-worldwide/  you'll see that air travel has continually grown except for the covid times and this is bound to again pick up once the impact of covid reduces. So honestly, as much as I agree that flights create a lot of pollution I don't think the number of flights is going to reduce anytime soon. So I again stand by my point, restricting air travel is not the right direction. It is not going to do a lot. For example, by reducing air travel organizations are cleaning the environment by 1 unit/day but the flights are polluting it by 2000 units/day and this number will only increase as time passes. Yes, companies are doing their part and it is helping the world a bit but is it the right and most effective way? I don't know.

- Moreover, the traveling restriction is usually only for people lower down the chain. All the top executives still travel and their travel is justified by some other reason. So you do believe that travel is important but why selective on who can travel and who cannot. Travel by executive is still contributing to 2000 units of pollution, so in a way, you are wiping out your own efforts of cleaning up the environment. I think we should be in sync with what we are doing. Doing something 10 times a day is better than doing something 15 times a day. Yes, maybe it is but still, it feels quite hollow if you follow this strategy. A wise man once said,

- I think we should have some other compensating factors for air travel rather than not allowing travel at all. For example, one solution is to plant trees to negate your C02 emissions. A lot of people do that to neutralize their carbon emissions. I am not fully convinced by this approach. It feels like you are giving birth to 20 people to compensate for killing 10 people. Ummm, ok, sorry, that example went too far but you get my point. It is still better than doing nothing.

- I think the best/permanent solution to this problem is to develop alternative fuel which is not as dangerous as the current fuel emissions. If we can solve this problem it would fix everything. There are already some efforts being made in this direction. As an organization, you can invest or donate some money to such efforts to help them accelerate the growth of their development.

When we realized that cars that run on petrol/diesel are harmful to the environment, the correct step ahead was the introduction of electric cars which do no pollution. Reducing car travel would have been a step backward and unnatural which does not make sense.

I have a feeling that whatever I have mentioned here is still controversial and is an unpopular opinion but I have tried to think about this objectively and tried to include some suggestions as well to fix things.

Thank you for reading!

#air travel #travel #pollution

[dreamhollow4219]

National "Write Your Story" Day [ LATE ]

I didn't realize such a thing was going on with Tumblr. I wanted to go ahead and post this while I still can, because I have no idea what the next few weeks will be like.

I'm not much of an artist, so this will be entirely written.

My name is Ian. I've been living in Virginia for my entire life.

I was born to a doting mother and a somewhat mysterious father. There is a lot about my father I never formally uncovered when my parents divorced, and I never pressed all that hard to find out. My mother used to insist that there wasn't much more to know than "he tried to grow psychedelic plants in the bedroom closet."

I find it a strange, sort of funny thing to think about now. Knowing the kind of woman that my mother was, I'm actually fairly surprised she was attracted to my father.

When I was very small I lived in Virginia Beach. I don't remember anything about that time, because it was so incredibly short. I don't imagine my family lived there for more than two or three years at best. We moved to another part of Virginia, that I'm hesitant to disclose, because I still live there and value my privacy.

My life was never entirely "normal" which is probably the reason I grew up to be such a strange person overall. I found out from an early age that I had poor vision, ADHD, and issues with my weight. I did, and still do, live in a predominantly mixed race community where the amount of light skinned people and dark skinned people are surprisingly evenly divided, if not slightly skewed towards there being more dark skinned people in the area.

I think it has been a very good thing for me. Growing up in such a diverse community where people are generally accepting of each other regardless of race has helped shape me into an accepting person who believes racial tension is not only ridiculous, but difficult to understand on a personal level. But there is some darkness from my past I would rather not share here; it's quite personal and involves some trauma I'm not ready to talk about with just anyone.

I had a handful of extremely close friends. Two of them, my neighbors, lived next to me for years. I always felt strange about our friend dynamic because I always had such a low opinion of myself, but looking back I must have been worthy of their attention and friendship to have had them keep such a vested interest in me. Though I barely talk to them now, I have shared some of the best moments of my life with them during my childhood and even some of my adult years.

I felt strangely adrift for so much of my early life. I was never especially passionate about any subject or goal in life. I suspect that it was because I was depressed- a fact that was difficult to talk about with my mother. She had a really strange perspective on mental health and often seemed like she was deeply uncomfortable with talking about things that bothered me.

A man lived with us, and for a time I basically regarded him as my 'stepfather' though he and my mother never formally married. She was his boyfriend, and he lived with us for a very long time. He had a very strict, somewhat abusive style of parenting. He and I often fought over different things because we were so vastly different ideologically. A few years before my mother had died, she eventually confronted him and kicked him out of the house for a number of reasons.

I have watched over my younger brother since we were both relatively young. He was born on the cusp of me becoming a teenager, and we've watched out for each other ever since. I did, and still feel guilty that I couldn't have done more for him when he was very young. Our mother died when he was about my age, and I was a young man.

I am no saint for taking care of my sibling. He and I have fought on multiple occasions, and my stepfather has partially warped his opinion of me forever. That is not something I can ever change. I am merely sad that I was still so emotionally stunted in my early adult years from the trauma of my mother's early death, and knowing I would have to become a parental figure at such a young age.

It was more than just my mother who had died. I experienced a devastating loss on my mother's side of the family that was difficult to comprehend. I lost my mother, my grandmother, and great grandmother within a few years of each other. My mother and grandmother's deaths were especially close together.

It shook up my family in a terrible way. My grandfather abandoned the family and became a recluse, telling my uncle that he didn't "have the strength" to keep looking after us. That really shook us.

I don't know where my uncle is now, but the last I had heard from him it seemed as though he was getting by. There were some personal issues in his life that I don't want to share here.

I never entirely shook off my deep depression but I learned to cope with it. I developed an interest in art, music, and computer engineering. I pushed myself to learn how to use DAW audiostations to make music, and I pushed myself to learn C++ in order to become a better fundamental programmer. These are skills that I value even to this day.

I know it's silly but I feel honored to have had moments in my relatively recent life where I was recognized by internet celebrities in the past. If you have heard of content creators like AceStarThe3rd and Krunkidile, I have actually played against them in Smash and Team Fortress 2 respectively.

Haha, I was barely even a challenge. Despite growing up playing videogames, I already knew I wasn't a match for them. I had always been extremely terrible at online Smash, and his video of me was fairly embarrassing. I still cringe thinking about it. My match against Krunkidile was fun, though, and I managed to least meet him halfway on some rare occasions.

Things have been very different much closer to the current day, though. I worked at a job in which I had no transportation. I was the only one physically walking all the way home from my work location to my actual house.

I was lucky then, even if I didn't know it. There was a gorgeous view of the stars and the almost mesmerizing sensation of passing through old roads through warm or chilly nights. I didn't know it then, but I lived for the moments where it felt like the heavens were shining down on me.

I've had lots of ups and downs in my life. I dated at least a couple of people that I felt a strong connection with, even if those connections eventually broke apart. I will still cherish what was there, in some capacity. I met people online, across the years, who partially shaped my personality into what it is now.

There's perhaps a lot left unsaid but I'm grateful for what good things I have experienced. I'm very proud of my brother, though I'm worried that he doesn't have a direction in his life right now. He reminds me so much of the way I used to be when I was at his age.

I can only hope that things will work out. It's how my family got this far.

#my life #my story #tumblr #dreamhollow4219

[steveskafte]

THEY'RE ALL GONE NOW There are few things more timeless than old folks lamenting kids these days. Nearly a century ago in 1925, an article called "The Conduct of Young People" was published in the Hull Daily Mail. The writer states: "We defy anyone who goes about with his eyes open to deny that there is, as never before, an attitude on the part of young folk which is best described as grossly thoughtless, rude, and utterly selfish." It takes a sharp-edged arrogance to go around believing that yours was the last good generation, and all subsequent ones have somehow failed to meet the mark – but I hardly blame them for it. I can't imagine the weight of growing older and feeling ignored, losing whatever significance you had in the world. It's got to be tough not to matter, but ironically, expressing dissatisfaction only slips you further from sight. The young disaffected dissident still has a audible voice. The world is his to change, and he'll live to see his complaints come true or unchanged. The elderly man is easily brushed off, knowing he'll soon be silent. All my life, I've spent more time with the elderly than kids my own age, and more time alone than with either. That gave me some perspective on their internal lives, how it felt to be friendless, and how some work hard to matter again. All those folks in their final years had something in common, why someone young like me would be interested – a complete lack of cynicism for youth. They didn't complain about my video games, modern technology and society, downfalls of current culture, or any of those other distancing measures the elderly use to emphasize their irrelevance. They gave me all their attention, happy I was there to share it, never crossing their minds to find new things to complain about. I shared something that was only possible because they never turned on youth. There was my great-grandmother, Danish immigrant Marie Skafte, who told stories sitting on the floor, right on my level. She died in 1993 when I was five. There was my next-door neighbour, Joy Wilson, who'd have me over for tea and to explain the complexities of her VCR. She died in the early 2000s when I was a teenager. There was the WW2 vet in the ramshackle house down the road, eccentric Percy Lynch, who taught me how to throw a knife. He died in 2006 when I was nineteen. There was Thelma Mitchell, who lived in the old segregated community of Inglewood, calling me in when I'd bicycle past, for chocolate milk and nature documentaries. She died in 2011 when I was twenty-three. There was my grandfather, Bob Skafte, who took me yard-saling and let me watch movies I was too young to see, telling stories almost constantly. He died in 2014 when I was twenty-six. Most recently, there was former fisherman Armon Lewis and his good friend, Air Force veteran Denny Lunn – two artists who showed their paintings at my old art gallery in Bridgetown. They were my favourite faces there, finding out about their lives and what they were up to. Both of them died in January 2022, when I was thirty-four. I never went looking for any of those friendships. They just sort of happened, because I had the time and they did. I was no specially altruistic child, as chaotic and self-absorbed as the next. I didn't go trawling the old folks homes for company, wasn't looking for elderly people to fill my life with. I had everything I wanted on my own, and most often, I still do. But I took my comfortable isolation, and shared it with someone, and that's a genuine closeness. For most of my life, most of my friends have been in their 70s and 80s. They're all gone now, and I'm still here, wondering what that makes me. I've learned not to look down on the future, that it holds nothing but hope all the way to the end. If you're elderly and reading this, don't forget that the main barrier in making a connection is you. Someone out there still wants what you've got, but only if you're willing to be young and alive as they are. Hold fast. May 23, 2022 Annapolis County, Nova Scotia Year 15, Day 5307 of my daily journal.