#I haven't been this sad since ***** in 2014

[morganas-pendragons]

untitled | fourteen

everyone loves when David Tennant does his sad boy screaming scenes. light spoilers for the second of the sixtieth specials. I am telling you what... I haven't felt like I was on an acid trip watching doctor who since 2014 LOL

this is one of two doctor who fics I'm gonna be putting out before Christmas!

***

When you find him, he's screaming. He's screaming loud and bold and raw and you wonder how his toes don't break from how hard he's kicking the tunnel walls.

You wonder what he saw. What the ganger said to him.

The Doctor had found you not long after he'd found Donna. It had been ten years since you had last seen him. Ten long years since you'd agonized over unrequited love and left him with nothing but a passing glance over your shoulder as you parted from the TARDIS.

Now he's come back, and that love you had buried for so long has come bubbling back to the surface.

You hate yourself for loving him.

You can't help it though.

It isn't until the screams fades into uneasy, tense silence that you dare to lift your eyes to meet his. There's a lot of turmoil in those eyes. He hasn't told you what happened in the ten years you've been apart. Not yet. You wonder if he ever will.

It's very clear that whatever he did, whoever he lost... wounded him. The Doctor may appear to be this cold, unyielding being of infinite wisdom and live. They may have called him The Oncoming Storm. The Valeyard.

He is not. Underneath that exterior is an ancient being longing for companionship. For somewhere safe to land when so often people use him as their safe place to land. Him. The hero.

But where do heroes go when the universe becomes too much for them to handle singlehandedly?

"Hey," You reach for his hand and hold it to your chest. His whole aspects softens at the gesture. This version of The Doctor is so much more open than the last time you saw him. So much more honest, vulnerable, so much more loving. "Are you... you?"

His gaze is questioning as you look at each other before he averts his gaze to the floor. You're getting closer. He's apprehensive, clearly, but The Doctor really wants you to take your fingers idle at your side and card them through his hair. "The last time I saw you," The Doctor murmurs. "You were leaving the TARDIS with the Smiths. Sarah Jane, it was. Said you were going to go make the world a better place-"

"In your honor," You admit. You don't miss how the hand pressed to your chest trembles at the remark, and something catches in his throat as you lift your idle hand to card your fingers through his hair. "Because you were the most remarkable man who'd ever come into my life. And I loved it. I loved you."

You're close enough now that you can feel him. All of him.

The Doctor exhales softly against your face as you lift his chin with your thumb so he'll finally meet your eyes. You're aching to know what has cut him so deeply. What he'll let you do in mending the damage to those ancient, broken hearts of his that have only ever been partially stitched.

Because every time a companion left, or they died, the stitches broke.

"Loved?" The Doctor asked.

Lifting yourself to your tiptoes, you tangle your fingers in the short hair and his nape and whisper, "Love."

And when you come together, he kisses you like a man who's been deprived of air for too long. You are what he needs to breathe.

And he is your safe spot to land.

#fourteenth doctor x reader #the doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #doctor who imagines #doctor who oneshots

[abruisedmuse]

QUESTION...?

Song analysis

Kinda wild that this is the first thing I'm talking in length about since it's not my usual and I don't talk song analysis I typically write fanfic and make edits when creative but this won't leave my head so here we are.

Things to note before we jump in:

In Taylor's speech last night when she said she was the happiest she's been in all aspects of her life, she referred to this song as it being a happy memory. Being the lyrics it didn't click unless it refers to someone close to her now. The person who fits this is Matty.

Question...? Is in the pre-show playlist for The 1975. An odd choice if you ask me being unless you listen to Midnights you know it. From my knowledge Preshow playlists usually contain top charting hits, released singles etc. To me, this feels like Matty kinda showing off that she wrote a song about him. Sorry if there's any typos I did this before coffee and I didn't have my glasses on lmao. If you don't like Matty that's fine, then this post isn't for you and you can keep on scrolling.

I cut off the intro on accident, it says "I remember". That could be just setting up the song stating this deals with the past. Or it's a response to the line in 'About you' by The 1975 where Matty sings, "Do you think I have forgotten. She says no I haven't, I remember.

The first line in the verse is giving two characters: Taylor, the good girl. Matty, the sad boy. Taylor went to two shows in 2014 for The 1975. One in LA and one in NY. I'm going with NY for this setting. The one thing going on was that they hooked up. Possibly seeing each other albeit extremely briefly.

Regardless of what it was it impacted her life greatly. He painted her nights a color she's been looking for ever since. Ever since Matty left her she's been trying to chase that feeling. Kinda ties into her speech last night too because she finally found it. After she had to deal with one thing after another. Other relationships, media, pandemic. Basically all the hurdles in her life that brought them back together. (It could also be in reference to their past situationship and what caused the fallout. )

Taylor wants to talk. She has questions about the past and wants to clear the air.

I think this took place when they were all hanging out and everyone was just shocked when it happened. They kissed around friends and were teased about it. But the friends in question gave an approval by clapping. These were super close friends who wouldn't tell any media outlets so I'm thinking like Selena, George, Ross, Adam. Etc. People who won't talk but I could see teasing tf out of them but being supportive. I don't remember which show Karlie was at which is why I didn't say her. Anyway, she's now asking him and what he did as in do you remember? Cause I do. And then she continues with her questions.

Now, Matty was using alot of drugs around here so it's possible he remembered but not everything. Or it's possible he did and wants to forget that he left in middle of night. Because as soon she asks that he goes oh. The oh is him being like ah fuck. So then Taylor shoots back three consecutive questions. Whatever happened in the past I think was her call for whatever reason maybe he didn't want to public or be in a relationship. And because she knows herself, the feelings are getting too much, she's getting this strong connection and feelings she has to end it. And Does it bother him he didn't fight for it? Does it bother him the way it does her? Does he miss her? He seems taken aback and she's saying well its just a question. A hypothetical one. He's doubting that.

This is about the Brit awards and Calvin. Stay with me. Half-moon eyes elude to someone on drugs, i.e., Matty. Peep the last line line the image "but you were on somethin". indiciating the half-moon eyes are not from weed but something harder. The bad surprise is Calvin. And this is the moment Matty knew he fucked up because he had still feelings. He was jealous cause the brit awards was when Taylor and Calvin met and as we all know. The dude is a dickhead lol.

Lots of drinking, no one should be surprised by with Matty. Idk about the politics and gender roles. It's clearly about Matty. Since hes more of an activist than Taylor and has songs about politics, has worn skirts, make up, kisses guy. It's also kinda about Taylor. Idk love to heard thoughts. I know it my bones it connects. Could also be in connection with the fact that a couple months after the awards Matty says dating Taylor would be emasculating. I think he said it out of anger. Anger at himself for not being with her, jealous of Calvin, and pissed shes dating the said dickhead. Anyway back to the awards time, they are fighting. Matty is unhappy with her talking to Calvin. And she probably asks him again what he wants. He doesn't know but he sure as hell doesn't want her with that guy.

The second best after that meteor strike is going back to the first verse. About the color she's searched for. I said it deeply impacted her. This indicates it did for the both of them. After the impact of her, Taylor. Has anyone even come close to the intense feelings they shared in a short time? The her in question I feel like it depends on when this song was written. However if we take the scene that is set for us and the time frame given, it's probably Halsey. Otherwise if it was written in 2021/2022 then it could be FKA Twigs. Whichever her, there's no hate there. She's happy for him. Truly. Either one suits him better, however she can't help but wonder...

Then the chorus repeats. Back to her speech, the reason she is saying this is a happy memory for her. Is because now it is. Her thoughts are filled with what could have happened? That color she's been searching for, the missing piece, it's found again. It's come back to her. Now she can look back, laugh, and think of it as happy. This is why everything in her life finally feels like it makes sense.

feel free to add on if you like. This is just my initial thoughts breaking down Question..? after last night

Tagging: @musicjunkie29 @deeenerys17 @hauntedromantics @littleeyelidsflutter (Ya'll seemed excited by the Musicjunkie's post so I thought of you all)

#taylor swift #matty healy #the 1975 #midnights #midnights 3am edition #question...? #1989 #taylor x matty #maylor #mattay #song analysis #lyrics

[luigiblood]

I'm going to semi-retire from the game preservation scene.

This is by no means a decision that I took on a whim. I am genuinely sad that it came to be this way, I've been involved in this stuff for a genuinely long time, I've seen many things, met many great people, also the bad and stupid dramas, which shouldn't really be discounted either, even though this was not the kind of thing that affected my decision.

I have no regrets on how I handled my job and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I just don't have the heart anymore. For roughly a year as I'm typing this, I started to seriously resent any attempt at public releases and contextual research.

This kinda sucks for how I want things to be treated with respect. I blame myself for giving myself too much responsibility and was not able to successfully pass down some of it to other people. This definitely did not help as it took a toll mentally speaking. But despite trying to change this, I found out how I just stopped caring about details, and just wanted to move on. I gave myself a little more time to ponder about it, and my final decision is that, yeah: I need to quit, I really don't have the heart anymore for it.

That doesn't mean I want to stop everything though, there are still things I need to do, and still have interests with, like with Satellaview and 64DD, but I want to gradually move away, and eventually pass the baton to people who still has the fuel. But I don't intend to disappear.

I still have a burning passion for the obscure parts of Nintendo, that's not changing any time soon, but the work I've been doing really just felt like a chore, and it was a job I've been doing for years.

I've been involved with Satellaview since around 2008/2009 with my Hello World SNES homebrew adapted for BS-X. The technical knowledge of the Satellaview was just very limited. I've started then a project to at least reveal how the satellite signal worked, and I got it working (then nocash did even further work that shouldn't be discounted, but he's really just too fast at this). It was my first reverse engineering project, and it was very formative, and shaped my knowledge of computer science like never before. I've then worked on emulation and preservation, managing quite a few dumps of Satellaview content.

Then in December 2014 I've had my first version of the 64DD Disk Dumper, done with help from the N64 scene people, on December 31st, all commercial 64DD titles were dumped, then I worked on 64DD emulation for a bunch of emulators, based on the works of Happy_ from MAME, and eventually was able to write my very own emulation code from scratch and higher accuracy than before on Ares. This year will be 10 year anniversary of my 64DD Disk Dumper.

So I've been doing this stuff for like, 15 years at this point, and now... Aside from the fact that I haven't been as into it as I used to, I also got older. I'm at an age where I'm sorta thinking if I want to do other things with my life, but in that case, other things have to be put on the wayside, to an extent.

I can't say what I will bring in the future, I have tons of ideas, and besides, I'm still gonna be behind a few game preservation works here and there, but my involvement will be limited from now on.

Also, Nintendo: Don't think I'm done datamining your NSO apps lol You still have so much shit that we don't have and I'm not gonna give up on having hints.

[jinruihokankeikaku]

2024.03.21: Ten Years (At Least!)

「夢はつまり　想い出のあとさき」 ―井上陽水、『少年時代���

Well, here we are. I started this blog (under the url "aelphvyne") on 21 March 2014, making today the blog's 10th anniversary. The blog has changed a great deal, I think, as have I, in many ways, over the past decade; but, in many ways, I really haven't.

(me c. May 2014 / me c. today)

This blog has changed my life in a lot of ways, which feels weird to say, but it's true. There are a number of people I'd never have met were it not for our Posting on here - I won't tag anyone to avoid being obnoxious, but! I'm really glad I met you! Sincerely! A number of ideas i never would have encountered (for better or for worse). A number of places - like actual literal places in the real world - I might not have gone. Books I might never have read, songs I might never have heard, films I might never have watched. The list goes on. But why did I come here in the first place?

I started this blog to be closer to people I liked and in some sense I guess that's still the blog's raison d'être. This site is, after all, where I've spent the most time talking to people for the better part of the past decade. It's also become the de-facto hub for various projects that have rotated in and out over the years - the Homestuck stuff in 2020, an (unfinished) novella in 2021-2022, and most recently, the Evangelion Annotation Project (which I promise is still ongoing & will update...soon-ish).

And since it's been going on for so long, I guess the other thing this blog has become is an archive. A record of various moments in my life. A lot of the stuff I've posted and reblogged over the years I wouldn't stand by or endorse today. A lot of it I would. (Some of it I don't remember having posted in the first place; but I am reminded, when I look through this archive every now and then, that these, too, are remnants of who I was at some point.)

I like to take photographs every now and then, of the sky outside my window, of rain on leaves & the moon & things like that. I guess I've been doing that since around the time I made my proper return to Tumblr in 2020. If there's one really important thing on this blog, one thing that I feel really good about, it's that; those pictures are the kind of record that I really wish I had kept in earlier years, and that I hope to be able to continue to keep going forward.

And I will keep going forward. I've thought about leaving this place on a few occasions; and, I suppose if the Internet continues on its rather sad present trajectory, I may have to soon enough. But until then, "the show must go on" - at this point, I have no plans to leave any time soon. In a way, it's a line of continuity between myself 10 years ago and now. When I look back ten years from now (God willing!) I'll remember that we both liked doing this - rambling self-indulgently on the Internet to an audience of mostly strangers but - importantly - some friends, too. Some good friends. After all, who else would we have said all that too? Would we have said it at all? I think, in any case, that having said it is preferable to the alternative. By a mile.

[dear-ao3]

Re your RB cursed second seat post, just wanted to add a few things and make a couple of corrections because this stuff really does add to the uh... flavour

First, while I know it's not entirely relevant, the whole Racing Point driver swap was SO MUCH more dramatic because Lance Stroll and Esteban Ocon are like. Besties. Like BFF friends forever since childhood. Poor son of mechanic and rolling in cash son of billionaire true friendship story. Esteban was fired in favour of his best friend, by his BEST FRIEND'S DAD. PEAK drama. They're still besties, bee tee dubs, because Esteban only makes enemies with his teammates.

F1 Invisible Moustache Twirling Supervillain Christian Horner also has a history of 'we're fully supportive [x driver] to be the best they can be and have no intention of changing our driver line up' and then oops, sorry. We lied. Like... five minutes later. Happened to Gasly, happened to Albon, and the former is currently where we're at with Checo. Christian has admitted that they were too hasty with Albon but oh dear how sad too bad boy's thriving now oopsie doopsie.

Also not forgetting that while Daniel was twiddling his thumbs waiting for his metacarpal to heal, Liam Lawson, the AT and RB reserve, got the highest placing position for the Alpha Tauri team this season (up until Mexico, anyway) while driving in Daniel's seat, and also threw himself into the RB second driver conversation.

And a couple of minor corrections:

DR didn't just leave RB because of the unreliability, it was more about being pushed aside for Golden Child Max Verstappen (affectionate, maybe slightly derogatory), which of course he knows all about because DR did the same thing to Vettel back in 2014. Who also had experience in that field because you could argue the cursed seat actually started with Mark Webber vs Seb Vettel back in like... 2010

Honda has been in F1 before. They sold to Brawn GP for the princely sum of one euro symbolic cash when they were going under, because Ross Brawn knew they'd built a MEGA car and couldn't bear to see them not run it for the 2009 season. Brawn GP won that year, it was Jenson Button's one and only championship win.

F1 drivers can't really go back to F2. If you've won it before, you can't compete again, but it's a feeder series so there's no way some ex-f1 driver is ever gonna be in F2 (or any of the lower formulas) because it's specifically for young talent. IDK maybe you meant Formula E? They also often go to WEC or IndyCar. Even rallying.

RB didn't give Checo another car at Suzuka he went out in the same car after they fixed it up enough for it to drive around one lap. Worth noting he was like 32 laps behind by this point (IDR the exact number but it was LORGE). spare cars haven't been a thing in F1 since 2008

Finally, the Fernando and Charles rumours are so fucking funny ain't no way either of them are gonna go to RB only to be a second to Max. I can see Carlos doing it though, trying for the grand return a-la DR. He's just Like ThatTM (affectionate, again also slightly derogatory). They've also been hardcore courting Lando Norris, who's way too smart and aware of his mental health to put himself into that depression spiral.

ANYWAY this isn't intended to be a big GOTCHA i just wanted to, as I said, add some extra flavour because F1 is so much more insane than anyone who doesn't follow it can POSSIBLY comprehend. Thanks for the post, I love seeing people explain the bonkers bullshittery.

yes yes thank you for pointing out all my mistakes and all that i j ew i was going to be getting Peer Reviewed (again, tumblr deleted my damn post so the first version was more accurate but i was pissed and i was also 1am so…) but yes. i am also new here in terms of the f1 drama. but yes it’s totally positively bonkers do you guys See now why fandom people are attracted to it???

#not a tag #from saph #f1 #thank you my anon bestie

[sleepanonymous]

Hi! I hope you don't mind, but I would like to ask your input on something, since you post a lot of "lost media" stuff. Do you know what the general etiquette for talking about members' past bands/projects in public spaces?

Here's the thing: I only discovered Sleep Token a few months ago, and when I first listened, I was shocked to recognize Vessel's voice immediately. Apparently I've actually been listening to one of his old projects for like 8 years now 😭 It's lovely to know he's still making music and it's wonderful to see how he's progressed with his skills (his voice!! Oh my god, he's grown so much), but I can't help but feel a little sad because I'm worried I'll be shunned if I mention his old works around ST fans. What has your experience been with this sort of thing? I just don't want to start a fuss on accident.

Hi, Anon 🖤 I don't mind at all, thanks for the question. With the anonymity of Sleep Token, it's very tricky to talk about any of the band's past projects in fan spaces. Basic etiquette is to not mention them at all because of the names and faces associated with the projects. For that reason, the rest of this answer is going below a "keep reading" cut.

If you are a Sleep Token fan, and don't want to see past project names, do not click on "Keep Reading."

First off: Anon, I'm so jealous of you! Lol, I'm surprised you found Blacklit Canopy first, that's such a rarity in this fandom! You have no idea how many times I'm like "Where was I in 2012?! Why didn't I find this in 2014?!"

Secondly, my whole experience with this particular corner of the fandom has been lovely tbh. But I think I get away with posting "lost media" because I make sure to keep names/YouTube/anything identifying detached from the posts. I only ever refer to him as Ves (and not his full stage name) and I don't mention Sleep Token (or if I do I abbreviate to ST). I think the closest I ever got to mentioning Ves's past project actually was in this lost media post.

Another reason I think a lot of fans would consider it improper to mention Ves's old project is because the relationship he was in with the other half of Blacklit Canopy technically changes 70-80% of Sleep Token's songs. The intricate lore that fans have created is suddenly lost, and we're left with roughly three albums about "the girl that got away" and how Ves coped with it. That isn't inherently a bad thing, but I understand why it's not everyone's cup of tea. Since you're new to Sleep Token, I'm going to assume you haven't seen these interviews: about why the member's identities "don't matter" and what Sleep Token's goal is as a band.

I have seen people make posts about Blacklit Canopy here on Tumblr before without receiving backlash (at least outwardly), but that's only because it was in a similar manner to this post (the majority of it was under a "read more" cut), they kept the band names separate in the tags i.e. they didn't tag Sleep Token, and didn't mention Ves's name at all. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've seen posts literally stating "It is disrespectful to listen to Ves's old music," which I don't agree with. One: there's an entire other person involved. Two: if Ves didn't want his fans to know, why are the Blacklit Canopy YouTube channel and Twitter accounts still up? And three: they literally released a deluxe EP on Spotify at the beginning of the year which Ves is 100% aware of and signed off on, if it wasn't him who published it in the first place. I'm not here to tell fans what they're feeling is wrong— on either end of the spectrum— because I understand where they are coming from and why they might feel that way.

All of the above said, there are safe fan spaces where it's perfectly acceptable to mention both Sleep Token and Blacklit Canopy in the same sentence; even identities. That goes for all Sleep Token members, past and present, and their other projects. So if you were wanting to keep them a mystery, then I'm sadly out of suggestions aside from DMs maybe. There are more people on this site Who Know™️ than you might think.

On Reddit you have both r/BlacklitCanopy and r/SleepTokenTheory

On Facebook you have the Blacklit Canopy Fans page

On Discord there's discord.gg/blacklitcanopy

I'm not so active on Reddit, and I don't have Facebook, so I'm very biased toward option three I'm also an admin there.

#anon asks #sleepanon answers #i'm actually terrified and might delete this post later

[madara-fate]

I haven't been in this fandom for years now, and i wanted to check out this again and wow, is still the same. I feel like, is okay if people don't like sasusaku, i can even see why (everything was wrapped very quickly at the end). But to say that real sasuke fans shouldn't support sasusaku, or that if you really love sasuke you should hate sakura is a reach. I understand if people think he was wronged by the narrative and he deserved better, but this fandom treats sakura worse than the villains. If sakura was really a bad person, sasuke would have just .... choose someone else. She was just in love with a boy who was really traumatized and in pain. She wanted the best for him, is not a big deal. Is sakura a flawed character? Yes, she is. But so is sasuke and i still love him because i can empathize with him and see how much he was suffering. They both have a lot of good and bad things. I also can understand if people don't like sakura, but why is her hate always about sasuke? "she should have moved on", "she abused him", "she doesn't deserve him". Like, why is bad loving someone.. everyone in naruto is allowed to not move on from someone, but she has to. For her character to be better, she needs to stop loving sasuke. The hate that sasuke get is from people who pretend they care/like sakura too. Like, is okay if people don't like the canon couples, that's totally fine. I'm not a fan with a lot of things after 699 either. But, the fact that a lot of people think that you can't be a real fan of a character because he ended up with someone you don't like is ridiculous. SS couldn't have happened and i wouldn't care, sasuke would still be happy with other person and i would be happy for him. That's all I ever wanted for him. Same with sakura. Can they just let it go? More than 10 years and fans have made it all about shipping. that's.... the only thing they care about. There's so much more about sasuke and sakura than them being a couple. I like them both, a lot, they are my favorite characters and I enjoy their dynamic, but seeing how people treats them makes me feel like staying away from this fandom was a good decision... sasuke and sakura relationship is actually wholesome... I don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with making them seem like they are miserable with each other? Is because they think they would have chosen someone better for them? As if sasuke and sakura didn't have other options , they just didn't want to.... idk i feel like people take this shipping stuff too serious. sasuke having a family again is nice :/ even sasuke fans trash him, "bad father", "bad husband", like damn, i thought yall liked him?, is really sad. Also, is like, they hate sakura so much they don't care if they also end up trashing sasuke in the way of it. Just because he is with someone they didn't want to doesn't mean he is unhappy , how miserable are they? The fact that sakura extremists have this same mindset and is because she just... didn't love naruto back? She didn't do what they wanted for her? That Kishimoto didn't make her say: "i'm going to beat sasuke up! i'm not the same anymore!" or some cringe girl boss shit?, as if sakura would ever do something like that to him. Some sakura fans dont even understand her character, they just use her for ships and sadly they don't understand sasuke either. And he is only a prize (this happens with every sasuke ship tbh). But is funny because... sakura also is a prize for a lot of shippers that hate sasuke. SS gets in the way of so many people.... maybe that's why they are so hated. man, sorry for the ranting but since 2014 they are on the same discourse.... like damn, this naruto shit was really serious after all lol ..After seeing all this i still don't think i could ever hate SS anyways... is the antis and their fans that actually suck.

A long rant, but yeah I can certainly see your points.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

[j-ellyfish]

I don't know if it's just me, but in World Stars also the ship content is limited compared to previous years, even Ludwig and Feliciano are not appearing together in the same chapter in a long time *sad noises*

And there are many other ships that haven't gotten their moments in a long time too, maybe one of the few exceptions is FrUk, you know Francis getting very worried for Arthur who is about to leave EU

Oh yeah you're right D: Gerita was still doing good in early World Stars but not anymore :( Maybe this is also why 'newer' fans seem generally less concerned about Gerita and how it is slowly slipping into "uncommon ship" state despite its absolute dominance in the early Hetalia scene, but like, not even just early, I feel like it was still pretty popular up until maybe 2014/2015-ish. It doesn't seem to me that UsUk and FrUk are encountering the same fate, at least not to the same extent. Sure they got less shippers than they did at Hetalia Fandom's peak, I guess, but the Gerita case is the most interesting one.

Especially because it's like Gerita is now living up to a sort of ghost legacy. If you ask most people, they'd say "oh yeah Gerita is so popular, so annoying I want to ship other stuff because Gerita is saturated with fans and content". But ... This is not true. Not in the 2020s. It's no longer true. And this, what I like to call the 'Gerita effect' (because I guess it's a phenomenon that can happen in any community and not just with ships), causes the perception of something to no longer match the real, current state of that something. We're used to say Gerita is popular and coddled, because that's definitely what it used to be, but if we take a moment to observe the reality around us today, without bias coming from a relatively distant past, we'll realize that it is no longer the case. Not in the fandom and, as you pointed out, not even in canon material. I think this is the reason why, surprisingly, Gerita Week didn't get a lot of attention last year (I think it was last year?). I joined it for some days but, I won't lie, my brain kept feeling in a safe net mindset that went "well it's not like they need me, Gerita Week definitely will get a lot of content regardless since it's Gerita, so I shouldn't sweat it like this". But no, in the end I realized I was falling for my own veteran perception, which is flawed and biased towards the past, how the ships scenario used to be like in this fandom.

Besides this, I think the (relative) downfall of Gerita's popularity was also caused by other factors. First of all, Feliciano became a controversial character. While Romano was always a popular character, in the early fandom most of the focus on him came from Spamano as a ship, or his relationship with Feliciano. As more and more people started to deem Spamano problematic, Romano needed a new place in the fandom's heart. This, I believe, was what marked Romerica's rise. And Romano's arc at Alfred's is often used as an argument to put the two Italian brothers against each other and fundamentally deem Feliciano as "the evil, preferred, spoiled brother" (obviously I'm not implying the opposite is true, both Italies are cool, traumatized and deserve love) to enhance Romano's worth and rights as a character of his own, away from Feliciano's orbit because it was Feliciano's orbit, in the early fandom, what was kind of overshadowing Romano (Spamano was often a clutch-ship in Gerita fics and art).

Let's admit it, humans generally likes what challenges the status quo. So, this new (not implying no one in early fandom might've had similar thoughts but it wasn't a fandom trend) interpretation of canon scratched the right itch in many fans who've never been head over heels for Feliciano and/or for Gerita to begin with, and possibly enjoyed less popular ships on average.

Meanwhile, in the late 2010s something else changed fandom spaces: Yaoi/BL experienced a growth in popularity and broke out of the "loud Internet niche" enclosure. This came with a huge luggage of controversies and debates over the nature of the seme/uke classification and an undeniable growth in popularity of ships with no rigid roles (seke/switches) and the assumptions of sexual role based on personality and physical appearance losing terrain. This had, as a result, a certain degree of demonization of ships that happened to fit perfectly in the "typical yaoi couple narrative".

Guess which ship fit perfectly there? Gerita, obviously. So, I believe many people ended up perceiving "traditional Gerita" as sort of weird, rooted in "old schemes" and not as alluring as it could've been for the average teen in early 2010s. Of course, this also caused Itager and less fluffy interpretations of Gerita (which have always been there but not fandom-wide trends) to rise in order to spice the old ship up.

So, as years went by, these trends continued, they piled up but eventually made Gerita lose a lot of terrain to other ships, ships that fit the "new image of the fandom" better. Perhaps the fact that Gerita was associated so strictly with the early fandom (and Germany being the focus on one of an7is' tone deaf takes on the series) also contributed to its current state, due to the internalized "sense of guilt" we as a fandom tend to have due to some bad apples that populated and populate our fandom like any other.

Huhhh okay I'm not sure how this ended up being a dissection on Gerita's popularity but I hope you don't mind. Also I didn't want to bring up any drama involving fans because I think a single fan cannot do as much harm to a ship as trends and natural human behavior does to a fandom as a whole, as every fandom is fundamentally a bite-sized society like a town or a Country.

Speaking of FrUk, I was really happy to see France's more chaotic side slipping out a little in the Brexit arc, although it made me miss old Hetalia even more </3

#hetalia #ask #gerita #ary spoke

[absolutebl]

Please help me find that one bl I watched but can't remember the name of it, I want to find and rewatch it do bad! So that's what I remember about the movie:

I watched this movie on YouTube and it was not Thai or Korean. There are two guys who are not brothers, the one with the parents adopted the other one. Gave him many things, like money and house. So they're basically step brothers. The adopted one is in love with the main boy, after some struggles that I don't actually remember, the main boy falls in love with him too. But his father doesn't allow them to be together. With this being the reason, adopted one faked his own death and the main boy was in pain for a couple of years (I think it was like two years? But I'm not sure tho) After some time, the main boy coincidentally sees his lover working at a cafe. And they have a happy ending.

I've been looking for it for a really long timeeee 😭😭😭

This sounds right up my alley so I should know of it. It's stepbrother trope which is one of my all time favorites. (After comment consults I think this must be Irresistible Love - see notes at end)

My guess is something early from China, pre 2018? It could also be from the Philippines or one of the other BL producing countries that I don't track carefully. I think... not Japan, that doesn't seem like the right tropes or narrative bent for them.

It's possible, if you saw it on YT it was a fan rip with an alter end (like it really ends sadly but the fan decided to not include that?)

But you said specifically not Korea so Diary of Heong Yeong Dang (Drama Festival 2014) is out, and that was my first guess.

My second best guess is Thai, My Bromance the movie (2014) or (more likely) My Bromance the series (2016)? But you said: NOT Thai.

So my final pull is...

Find You In The Crowd (China 2017) but this is a microfilm and it's sad. At last check it was on Gaga.

You're not thinking of The Promise (Vietnam 2022) are you? No, that doesn't have the parental stuff and it's very recent.

That's the best I can do. Sorry, the spreadsheet and my brain failed you.

Here is some homework:

There is a 3 Part series from Ellene Noire II of YT round-up videos highlighting VERY obscure queer, LGBTQ+ and BL content (they named title and country in the cards), perhaps it's one of those? It has clips so that might trigger your brain better.

I've had these videos saved to process into my spreadsheet for ages but haven't gotten around to it since they really are some of the MOST obscure and I know it just throws off my numbers with "can't be found" columns.

If you figure it out, will you PLEASE let me know the name and country? It really does sound like my kind of BL. And if possible I'd love to try tracking it down.

Meanwhile here's my stepbrother trope round up post.

Notes

movie on YouTube

not Thai or Korean

2 guys who are not brothers

parents of one adopted the other one (stepbrother trope)

parents give adoptee many things, like money and house

adopted one is in love with the main boy

main boy falls eventually falls in love back

father doesn't allow them to be together

adopted one fakes his own death and the main boy was in pain for a couple of years

after some time, the main boy coincidentally sees his lover working at a cafe

Okay after consult with comments (with the exception of the bold bits I think this really has to be Irresistible Love).

Irresistible Love China 2026 - 2 Parts! 2 Endings!

Irresistible Love: Secrets of the Valet

YouTube

Irresistible Love 2 AKA Uncontrolled Love

YouTube

I not-so-secretly love this BL: Kidnapping, whipping boy, obsession, mutilation, very hard fought happy ending (in one version). Absolutely classic Chinese BL pre-censorship. It's a wild melodramatic ride.

This 2nd movie installment has 2 endings, one unhappy and censored and one basically happy. This series is quite violent, lots of tiggers, whipping boy chassis.

#asked and not really answered #help this fan everyone #stepbrothers trope #find that BL #a mystery for us to solve #chinese bl #maybe something else

[foxes-that-run]

Have you done a Hunger analysis/can you do one

Hi, I haven't, I love that song though. So here it is:

Hunger

It is about Harry looking back on a relationship he is not over. It was leaked in 20 April 2022, the week he played Coachella. See 2022 timeline if you subscribe to the thought the leaks are timed.

When it was written is less important because it's quite reflective, but based on 'one year into two', if I had to guess, I think this song is from the first week of January 2017:

4 January 2013 - Blue dress on a boat

6 January 2015 - Harry and Taylor were ambiguously dating (and touring) since Valentine's Day 2014. Harry arrived in LA on the 2nd and neither was seen for a few days. Taylor posted this photo with 'This Love' Lyrics. Harry then reappeared. Things seemed tense at Lily Aldridge's birthday on the 19th and Taylor went to Maui with the Haim sisters while Harry stayed in LA. Taylor started dating Calvin a few weeks later.

6 January 2016 - Harry posted this photo of rain on a window. Out of the Woods MV was just released, it aired NYE 2015 in the same show as the last 1D TV appearance.

5 January 2017 - The leak Lately included that it was written on 5 January 2017, He flew to LA on the 6th. Lately was leaked on 6 January 2024. That is one year turning two from 2015:

Lyrics

Candles burnt down to the floor Wearing less than you wore before Shoes sitting by the door never put them on We would stay in my house for days Spilling breakfast on pillowcases Your stuff don’t taste the same Now that you’re gone

The first verse is reminiscing of the good times, of enjoying spending time together in a hedonistic way.

To me the first lines are on New Years Eve 2012 which Taylor also included in New Years Day "Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor / You and me from the night before". If written in January the shared NYE memory would have been timely.

I love the line "shoes sitting by the door" it sounds to me like they were to go out but stayed in to be together.

"Your stuff don't taste the same" to me is her music, especially Red and 1989, I imagine hearing them after they were actually over would hurt with how much the themes of 1989 especially are "built to fall apart and back together again"

I guess I’m prone to overthinking One thing goes wrong and I can’t adjust I’ve lost the taste for the good in us And I’m sorry

The second verse is talking about feeling sad that Harry wasn't able to keep the relationship and his engagement with it.

"Lost the taste for the good": reminds me of the Two Ghosts, "We're not who we used to be". Two Ghosts was written around Valentines Day 2015, soon after this break up. To Nick Grimshaw Harry said about it "sometimes things change, and you can do all the same things, and sometimes it’s just different, you know". I think this is a similar detached loss of connection, later to Zane Lowe Harry said he was 'just coasting.'

I think with more time for reflection this song has matured to see with regret why he lost the taste for the good in what he lost, which Two Ghosts doesn't get into.

"Prone to overthinking" is interesting, Harry seems like he would. He uses this word again in Grapejuice about Taylor, he acknowledges she worries about other girls and assures he doesn't want anyone else "You're always there, so don't overthink, I'm so over whites and pinks"

We had a hunger then only each other then Couldn’t get enough when we started Always a hunger then now it’s just emptiness We were in love, we were starving We had a hunger then

To me, the song title and chorus has a double meaning:

In the first half of the chorus Harry is singing about Hunger in the sense of an insatiable desire for each other. The bliss of a new relationship where you just want to be together all the time.

This ends with 'now there's just emptiness. He uses emptiness as an analogy for being emotionally depleted in Ever Since New York also "There's no water inside this swimming pool" and in Two Ghosts "We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty"

I hear a second meaning with "we were in love, we were starving." The theme of the song is reflecting on where it went wrong, I think he is referring their mental health and wellbeing at the time as being a factor for why it didn't work out.

We could ruin a perfect night On my birthday I made you cry You told me you learned to drive I guess you lied I could never get sick of you I just bit off more than I could chew And as one year turns into two I’m still not over you, still not over you

As the song says, they are still not over each other.

You told me you learned to drive

This could be read two ways, as many anons have said to me today :)

Taylor used driving as a metaphor for their relationship in Treacherous and throughout 1989 and Harry did in Keep Driving. The line is saying that she told Harry they could make it work but she lied and they didn’t. I really like this interpretation, it reminds me of Fools Gold where he also called her a lair for him feeling like his commitment to their relationship wasn’t reciprocated

This reminds me of of a Gatsby quote Jordan says to Nick: “You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.”

On my birthday I made you cry

Taylor also refers to this in Coney Island the male part sings "Were you standing in the hallway / With a big cake, happy birthday". Sadly there are options for this, I think the big cake is a metaphor for an special gift:

2015, he threw a big party with lots of famous people in LA just before he left for tour. After possibly break up 6 January, on the 17th Taylor shared a photo of her kitchen with the framed Temper Trap Lyrics on her stove, (below). She then went to Maui with the Haim sisters, on the 23rd - 30th (I wonder if Harry was meant to go). On Harry's birthday she was in Nashville.

2013 Taylor had Temper Trap write and sign the correct lyrics/Arm Lyrics/Tattoo and framed it for his birthday, but they broke up before she gifted it. She included it in the photo again in 2015. :( The blue dress on a boat was 4 January, however she was in London on the 21st and rumoured to see him. There were reports she had booked a week in Italy as well as other gifts. Harry had a wild 19th birthday with a £5k bar tab and strippers.

I could never get sick you

I hear "I could never get sick of you" as responding to something said directly to Harry. However, in November 2015 Taylor used those words to Vogue. It's an interesting comment that was foreshadowing the Reputation era. If this song was written in early 2017 it would have been the thick of that:

"I'll need to give people a certain breather from me because at a certain point they're going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so then I'll need to go away for a while and then depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are I'll decide when to put out the next album,"

I just bit off more than I could chew

I think this is the crux of it, Harry was quite young when they started dating and the One Direction schedule of a tour and album every year was intense. In his more recent interviews he's talked about mental health, and his band mates have also spoken about the toll it took on them. I think Harry was not available or ready to provide an older partner who was also anxious the support she was looking for. In his words in To be So Lonely, he "Wasn't ready for it all".

#haylor #harry styles #harry styles unreleased

[evilwickedme]

Idk if you have been asked this before, but what ur ur opinions in spideypool? I love the ship, but I hate how utterly hard it is to get a good comic out of them it's so sad

I think the reason I haven't been asked this before is because nobody really thinks to ask someome who writes spideypool fic what they think about the ship, but that's actually a really good question!

I love spideypool. I've been a spideypool shipper for about as long as I've been into marvel comics, since Deadpool was one of the first comics I picked up way back when in 2015. At the time it was pretty much omnipresent in the fandom, and for good reason - Deadpool's crush on Spidey is and was literally canon, or at least as much canon as it can be when it's played for laughs, and there's a lot of charm to their interactions.

To me, the appeal lies in the way they affect each other. Deadpool's got this whole hero worship mixed with actual attraction thing going on on his end, and Spidey has this whole "this is the most annoying man on the planet and possibly in the multiverse but also he's like pretty funny and our fight styles blend well" thing going on on the other end. A high quality longfic for these two will go into issues of morality and find where either of them need to or choose to change for each other, for better or for worse, and can easily include a heavy bit of angst regarding Wade's chronic pain and mental health issues or Peter's anger issues and monetary problems. A high quality pwp for these two will be very funny. These are both things I find incredibly appealing in my ships.

Also, visually, they really do fit together. Afaik, Deadpool's outfit was designed mostly to parody Deathstroke, but there's some Spider-Man in there anyway, and they look all matchy-match.

So why is it so hard to write a good teamup comic for them? Um... I'm not so sure that it is? Like I think that Deadpool annual from 2013 or 2014 where he and Spidey end up switching costumes is so fun and shows some of Wade's tendencies to mix hero worship and attraction really well, and a lot of their other early interactions are short but memorable. I think the issues of Daniel Way's run of Deadpool where Wade and Peter team up are some of the only actually good issues in the whole run, because Daniel Way actually wrote some themes and ideas into there and then didn't drop the ball immediately! He dropped the ball later, but not immediately, which is rare for him.

The main Spider-Man/Deadpool teamup comic seems to have mixed reviews. I haven't read through the whole thing yet, but like, I think it's fine? It certainly isn't outright bad, and it has some fun moments. I think the main problem with it is that it was created for and aimed at people who were fans of the ship, and then didn't really look beyond surface level into why people like the ship. Like I said, spideypool is at its best when it struggles with issues of morality and has some give and take, where both sides learn from the other. The team up comic is more like... Deadpool is bad cause he kills, but he wants to prove to Spidey that he's a good person! And then he tries to prove that by killing Peter Parker, who he thinks is evil (the team up comic started in a weird time in spidey's continuity where he was running a fortune 500 company, it's a whole thing)!

It's a lot of hijinks and shenanigans that I don't mind in fic, but prefer in smaller doses and one off team up comics. If I'm reading an ongoing, I'm going to want it to like... Be about something. At some point. A static character for a mainstay title is fine, but for the most part I want these characters to do something together beyond coexist. I think the best moment in the volumes of Spider-Man/Deadpool that I did read is the one where Wade introduces Spidey to Ellie Camacho, his daughter, because it forced Peter to reevaluate how he sees Wade. But then the itsy bitsy storyline happens, and it's such a shallow understanding of what makes Peter a good hero and what makes Wade ... Uh, Wade, and I think it just makes for mediocre storytelling.

I don't know I guess the problem is when we only had the one offs, we had a taste of something great, but when we got it in longform we realized the first bite was great, but the whole thing was a little stale.

I could write it real good tho, in case you're wondering. Marvel don't lose hope you can still hire me marvel I know you're reading this mARVEL

#one day I'll power through and finish spider-man/deadpool but I'm busy with other things right now #like answering asks on tumblr #spideypool #dp #spiderman #marvel comics #marvel #gail speaks #ask #cowchickenbeefpork #ur url was so close to being kosher and then it wasn't

[latenightcinephile]

Film #914: 'La La Land', dir. Damien Chazelle, 2016.

I really like old-school Hollywood musicals, and I've always been sad that it's a genre that has gotten harder and harder to find in modern Hollywood. Most of the genre has since been supplanted by Disney films and either low-budget works or jukebox musicals, produced because there is a ready audience for the songs. While there has been a shift towards film adaptations of Broadway hits in the last decade or so (Les Miserables (Tom Hooper, 2012), Into the Woods (Rob Marshall, 2014), Cats (Tom Hooper, 2019)), it's a poor sign of the genre's health that there are no longer any major actors renowned for their consistent career in musicals - no Astaires or Crosbys or Garlands. So imagine my glee on hearing that a new, original musical was being made! One that hearkened back to the Hollywood spectaculars of the 1940s and 1950s! La La Land! The promotional photos looked reminiscent of the soundstage musicals that I had fallen in love with! At long last, it was time!

So, I didn't watch it for seven years. I don't know exactly why I didn't - a combination of having a lot going on in my life that stopped me getting to theatres, and then an internal rebellion against the amount of praise the film was receiving. It certainly wasn't helped by the Oscars debacle - there's nothing that diminishes a film's prestige quite like conspicuously not winning the Best Picture award. Finally, this year, I sat down to watch it, hoping I would be wrong, and that the shine would still be there - that I would be transported.

La La Land is not bad. It's also not transcendental.

Mia Dolan (Emma Stone) and Seb Wilder (Ryan Gosling) have both moved to Los Angeles to pursue their dreams. Mia wants to be an actress, but has found work in a coffee shop on the Warner Brothers studio lot. Seb hopes to revitalise jazz music in Los Angeles by refurbishing a famed jazz club. Mia encounters Seb by chance, and loves his music, but their first few interactions are filled with hostility - road rage, a thwarted introduction at the moment Seb is fired (in a cameo by J. K. Simmons, who also starred in Chazelle's Whiplash in 2014), and a terrible Hollywood pool party. Finally warming to each other, the two begin dating and encouraging each other to pursue their dreams in whatever way possible - Mia by performing a one-woman show, and Seb joining a jazz-pop band fronted by Keith (John Legend). Just before Mia's show opens, Seb returns from touring, and the two argue bitterly over their future and how to reconcile their two careers, ending with Seb spitting vitriol about how Mia cannot stand his success. The two break up, and Mia returns to her childhood home.

Shortly after this, Seb receives a message for Mia, inviting her to a casting call. He goes to retrieve her, and her audition is a success. The two talk about how, while their lives are not compatible, they'll always love each other. Five years later, Mia is a successful actress and Seb has opened his club. They once again meet by chance and, after considering what their life together could have been, they each go their separate ways once more.

You might notice that, in this description, I haven't paid much attention to the songs or music in this musical. That's because, in all honesty, not very much of it was memorable to me. The opening number 'Another Day of Sun', and 'City of Stars', the song that gets used as a motif throughout, remain catchy, but they're the only tracks that left a mark. That's a real shame, because they're not really the turning points of the film. And while Gosling and Stone show that they're relatively accomplished as singers and dancers in this film, it's also clear that they're not accustomed to doing this kind of work regularly. 'A Lovely Night' is a prime example of this - it's a couple's dance number, and the choreography is not exactly simple, but Stone and Gosling look like they've learned the dance in isolation from each other. This is a number where the easy chemistry that the two of them have temporarily gets put on hold so that they can focus on the steps.

And I'm aware that this is an incredibly pedantic thing to gripe about. I don't mean to damn with faint praise - these actors are doing something difficult, and doing it well. What really gets me is that, when you're making a musical, you have all sorts of tricks to cover over these brief weaknesses, and La La Land often doesn't use them. The score feels oddly quiet, even in its more bombastic numbers. 'Another Day of Sun' starts things off, but the opening vocalist sings, rather than belting, and by making the score supposedly diegetic to start, there's not enough there to support her. I know I ended my last write-up by expressing gratitude that films were now available to watch outside the cinema, but this is an instance where I wish that I'd seen this years ago. I just couldn't turn my speakers up far enough to get lost in the spectacle.

Talking to people about this film, there seems to be an even split on this matter: either you can lose yourself in what's going on, or you can't, and if you're in the latter camp, the musical side of La La Land is too banal. It's colourful and pretty - filmed gorgeously by Linus Sandgren - but I'm reminded of the maxim of musicals, attributed to Rob Marshall: "When movement isn't enough, you dance, or when speaking isn't enough, you sing." A few people I've asked about the film raised similar ideas - that it feels like Chazelle is trying to force an exuberance from his audience when there's not enough genuine emotion to support it.

This is what makes the second half of the film better for me, and this is where I found myself able to embrace the film more. The latter half of Mia and Seb's relationship, once they've actually fallen in love properly, is powerfully-acted, and the reprise of 'City of Stars' is beautiful. The break-up scene is absolutely stellar, and either Gosling and Stone could justifiably call this one of the best scenes of their career. In a musical, though, this height of emotion would normally call for a song or a dance, and there isn't one here. The emotional height that does get a song is Mia's audition, where she sings 'The Fools Who Dream' in what appears to be a single take. This is an excellent performance, and it alone could have been responsible for Stone winning the Best Actress Oscar that year. Then, of course, once Mia and Seb have briefly reunited, they share a fantasy sequence that is filled with a longing that's deeply affecting.

The thing that upsets me most about the film is that once you've started dissecting it, you see how underwritten parts of it are. The opening leaves its characters adrift, trying to sell you on optimism and exuberance that don't have enough of a foundation - no matter how many BMX stunt riders and parkour experts 'Another Day of Sun' crams in, it feels thin - and even the break-up scene is mostly successful because Stone and Gosling have easy chemistry and the ability to sell you on ideas by injecting them with emotion. That doesn't prevent the central conflict from seeming like a contrivance.

Seb is, admittedly, insufferable at times (I'm not going to get into whether he's a white saviour of jazz, because plenty of people have made arguments on both sides of that topic and I could easily agree with either camp). I think his biggest flaw is that he's unable to articulate his motivations, which makes the conflict a bit of an idiot-ball plot. Faced with having to explain why he's 'sold out' by joining Keith's group rather than following his passion for pure jazz, he can't do it and immediately belittles Mia. It feels like it would be easy to explain that someone could find satisfaction in playing two different subgenres of jazz, and even playing them off each other to push the boundaries of music further. That feels like something Seb would genuinely believe in (and something that Chazelle, being a musician, would also be familiar with). It would also open up opportunities for more complicated conflicts - a jazz battle! A tortured artist number! - without affecting the overall plot. I just don't think the film has the expansiveness to tackle it.

Yeah, this sounds like I'm trying to assassinate the film. I liked it, honestly. I was still humming 'City of Stars' a week later, and it made me like Stone and Gosling more as actors, which I hardly thought possible. All the breathless excitement, though, about the film resurrecting a genre, and changing the course of film history... it was overblown, without a doubt. La La Land proved that these films could still be made, and very successfully. The fact that so many modern musicals are either adaptations of things proven to work, or jukebox musicals where the plot is largely incidental, shows that crafting a fully successful musical is not just about the songs but about the plot that links them. La La Land does it better than most, but it's not what I was craving it to be.

#1001 movies #musicals #damien chazelle #la la land

[ivalice-tifalucis]

Jason.

Suddenly I want to talk about Jason (it's a very long talk).

I realize I never talk about this here, but I often compare him to Queen's John Deacon. There are few similarities. The "silent" one, the underrated one, the one who prefer tea when the others would prefer wine, the one whose lyrics always about life, the dark horse, the one who is not confident with singing, the one who left the band and never be seen again.

The thing about John Deacon is that I never feel sort of bereaved, longing, or sad that he is no longer in Queen. I am a Queen fan since I could barely speak english thanks to my dad and the moment I learn that he left Queen so many years ago I was like that's ok. That's because even though Brian and Roger are the spine of Queen, the heart and soul will always be with Freddie and Freddie died 32 years ago. New fans had their hard time accepting it when they searched for Deacy but they quickly realized time has gone long and he has been living a peaceful private life. It's easy for us to let go of Deacy, because Queen regardless how good Adam Lambert is now, is over the moment Freddie died. There are no what ifs when talking about Deacy leaving Queen and public life. His statement is also clear and undeniable that he left because he thought there should be no more Queen after Freddie.

But the thing about Jason Orange is that he left at the height of Take That fandom. They just had Robbie back and they released Progress and it was very very success album and tour too. Three years later, people expect something but Robbie's not coming back and so did Jason. It feels anticlimactic for fans even though it may not be for him. There are no impromptu. Unlike the rest of the members, Jason doesn't have social media but he also didn't do or say anything leading up to that day in 2014. Take That was perfectly fine ship and suddenly one of their longest standing member at that time jumped the ship without lifeboat that could help him return. He swam to the nearest island and not planning to swim back to the ship ever again. Sure he made a statement through Take That's PR but it's just a thank yous. Something is not told and as fans we left to wonder why did he leave. What had gone wrong in the background??

Toxic fans would often like to think it's because of Robbie because Jason didn't like Rob in the 90s and, while often written off in newer documentaries or autobiographies, was the one who propagated to kick Robbie Williams out of Take That (as stated by the man himself in Look Back, Don't Stare). It's easy to make Robbie Williams a scapegoat, isn't it? However, Jason himself said back in Progress era that Robbie came back to Take That was the final piece of puzzle. Gary in his book A Better Me also said that Jason always wanted Robbie to return and felt like his job is done when he got to see all his boyband friends in the same room again.

However, it still doesn't answer the question to why did he leave? I have a habit of wondering over unimportant things and sometimes, especially now, my mind wonder about Jason and why exactly did he leave. I have some theories, it might not satisfy you but bare with me.

Here's a gif of Jason so you won't get too tired reading this post lol

First theory: tax evasion scandal. I'm not gonna pretend to be a foolish fan and not know that sometimes in 2014, Take That faced a huge backlash thanks to this scandal. Those annoying 40-50 something British guy who love to make this tax evader joke to state they never like Take That to look manly can never escape me every time I go around social media about Take That. Even though it rarely talked about among Thatters, I feel like if they are not known more now than they are a decade ago it's because this scandal still affecting them in the eyes of UK public, who are their major target market. I could also argue if only they make another big break this scandal will be gone from people's mind but sad to say they haven't done anything bigger than Progress even until now, not that I don't like III, Wonderland, and This Life, I do. But me and all of you (roughly 30 people around here) and I'd estimate less than 2 millions most royal Thatters out there who are interested are not enough. Back to the tax scandal, it is a fact that Gary, Mark, and Howard are part of the scandal but not Jason because his finance always managed by his twin brother, so I heard. I wonder whatever went behind the scene could might affect Jason's decision to leave.

Why? Because if it is true that he left because Progress is enough, he could have stated he would be leaving since after Progress or any time between 2012 to early 2014. Why did he have to wait and drag this for too long? Also, I wonder if this is why they are so sensitive about Jason leaving at first. Remember in Robbie's autobiography when they were really angry at Rob for accidentally blurted it that Jason would leave before official statement?

Second theory: anxiety, illness, physical problem or other health problems. I often wonder about this too. Progress era is the ultimate era especially for old school Thatters (lol sorry to the actual ultimate era). Who would have thought that "I'm rich beyond my wildest dream", the greatest britpop star living in private mansion in Beverly Hills with around 10 entourages including his gf, Robbie Williams, could ever reunited with Take That? I can only look this like history book and only recently realized how crazy it is. It happened. In his Netflix documentary, even his management didn't believe this that he'd rather earn so little yet did so much effort for Take That rather than earning another hundreds of millions of dollar doing another solo tour. But it happened, he needed it, the rest of Take That needed it, and we're glad it happened. And then, imagine Never Forget. One of the best Take That song ever, made in 1995 but released when Rob had left, so before 2010 this song had never been performed by Robbie Williams. The moment that all Thatters had been waiting for, to see all five members of Take That perform this song life, without others backing the others, as the original single intended. The only era where they can do this, and it only ever happened once (1). And then Jason...

And then they never did it again. Throughout Progress live tour, Jason didn't sing a single note by solo. His part in Never Forget was covered by Gary. You could even argue that his mic was never on during any of Progress live performances and I would believe you. So much downgrade than The Circus Live where he did an entire section singing two songs with his guitar. What was going on??

Why? He stated few times he was never confident in singing. Even Nigel Martin Smith berating him in the 90s for being the one with the worse singing voice (arguable though because he actually has decent voice). I'm glad Take Two era gave him the confidence to try albeit shyly. However, maybe eventually his anxiety won sometimes between 2012 to 2014. Plus the fact that we know he can't do breakdance forever. He was in his 40s at that time. Even current Take That dance lesser and lesser than they were in previous era. Maybe Jason thought there should not be more dancing in Take That. Maybe he thought his body would no longer able to. Maybe he's not strong as he used to be. He's ill? Idk, only Jason knows.

Third theory: settling down in private. It could be just my headcanon but think about it. We always joke he might as well marry to the bench because he's always photographed alone in his own thoughts. Some people even randomly thinking is he gay? He has that swag though, but I don't think at least he himself think that he's gay(?).

Lol this iconic pic

But what we never talk about is that he did have girlfriends in the past. He has been photographed by paparazzi in the past with "mystery" women (yes women as in plural) which I will not share here. He had a public relationship with Catherine Tate after all.

I genuinely think Jason is the kind who would drop everything to keep his family safe from public. This is after all the same guy who despite the height of his career barely show his family to the public, except his mom probably, but then again all TT moms always have media presence since day 1. Being in kdrama fandom and see korean actors and actresses who literally just dropped their career for their family and their privacy, I can see Jason would do just like that. Why not? He has achieved and experienced everything there is to know about being a celebrity. He doesn't feel the need to. And I feel like his relationship with Catherine Tate, since she also a public figure, was so gobbled down by media that maybe he thought this isn't right to have people judging his partner. If one day Jason appear with a wife and a child, I won't be surprised at all. I would be exploding in happiness that this theory is correct though.

Also I'm happy to see Catherine Tate returns to Doctor Who with David Tennant. I just know then that she actually is known for being in Doctor Who. I had no idea who is she outside being in Happy Now music video 😂

My theory outside Jason leaving:

Take That (and their management) know where and how Jason is (to some extent). In the interviews often Gary, Mark, and Howard would be asked about Jason to which they would say they didn't contact him for ages. Or joke that they tried to email him but then maybe he only have flip phones and doesn't even have a computer to answer the email. Look, he can be a hermit but man living in first world country and doesn't have even a smartphone to answer email in 21st century is ridiculous. I believe they still talk or see each other once in a while, especially with Howard, who tweeted that he met Jason in 2018. Hell, I feel like even Rob has seen Jason at least once between 2014 to now. I don't know, just a hunch.

His privacy is protected by Take That management and also by most of public. Continuation from previous bullet point. Yes. Because do you remember when there was George Michael's art auction in Manchester and some celebrities who came there are photographed clearly. But not Jason. It's hard to find that picture again but I found it and that's just the only the bigfoot sightings of Jason Orange that I know of because it happened after I know Take That deep enough. Between 2014 to 2017, how many sightings that I didn't know? Where if other celeb would have crystal clear pictures taken but not him on the same occasion? I wonder. Also many people claimed that they met Jason in public space in around London or Manchester, but mostly Manchester. So he is not as hermit as they would like you to think. Maybe if you go around there and if you just lucky, you might come across a wild Jason Orange.

Goddammit this guy.

At the end of this post, thank you for reading this until this part, guys. I really miss Jason like all of you. He is truly an enigma but no matter what would always have special place in every Thatters' heart. Awww...I cringe a little when I wrote that.

Regardless my theory, I can only wish he lives a good and happy life. If you have something to say, you can also add here in the reblog or reply, or dm me, let's chat.

Also I put all Jason sightings on my tumblr with this tag called The Bigfoot Sightings of Jason Orange (because he is as blurry as bigfoot sightings).

#jason orange #take that #the bigfoot sightings of jason orange #my ramblings #Youtube #Instagram

[gerardpilled]

would you share some beach boys lore with us?!

I know this is extremely vague, but past the actual music on pet sounds I truly truly know nothing about them

p.s. I just looked them up on spotify and smiley smile is wild

HA! I gotcha! Okay so there's actually a decent amount of stuff that i'm not sure is necessarily interesting on its own or just interesting with the background knowledge of Brian Wilson's life and story. Basically what kinda enamors me to them most is the contrast between how modern people without a knowledge of music history* view them and the behind the scenes reality. Their legacy has kinda been defined to the general public by their appearances and work in the 90s which really pushed the whole "beach! fun! surfing! babes!" aspect of their earlier work while completely ignoring what made songs like "fun fun fun" and "I get around" classics to begin with. Brian Wilson. Which is where the contrast kinda comes in for me. you have all these songs that surface level seem simple and dumb, but even those have artistry to them that made them stand out because someone like Brian Wilson was behind them!

Brian's story is incredibly sad and tragic at times and can be hard to learn about especially as a neuro-divergent person. He made such beautiful and sad sounds while dealing with mental health struggles that society of the 60s were not kind to. He has auditory schizophrenia which inspired a lot of work from pet sounds onward. he eventually had a mental breakdown while attempting to finish smiley smile (ps, he re-produced it 40 years later so go listen to SMiLE sessions instead). A lot of his life and work after that was controlled by his conservatorship under his abusive psychologist.

Anyway yeah i guess that's the starting lore that i find really important. I know it's a person's real life experience, but there's something so tragic about Brian's story and how his art has been bastardized by Mike Love (his cousin and co-beach boy) in the years since leaving the band that kinda hits me hard. Everyone attributes so much to the Beatles when it comes to rock and roll influence because the beach boys were just some silly dudes! I think I heard someone say once that in the Beatles an artist like Paul McCartney had an artist like John Lennon backing him up. In the Beach Boys, Brian Wilson had himself.

If you want a quick and well-made overview, the 2014 biopic Love and Mercy is actually really good! Also if you haven't, listen to pet sounds front to back and really try to hear all the layers and sounds and tiny little details. it's considered one of the best albums ever made and it commercially tanked when it came out. Also Also give a good hard listen to good vibrations. it's the song Brian considers his masterpiece (though i think his favorite is Don't Worry Baby which i would have to agree with) it took actual months to make and i think it was recorded in like 4 different studios because he believed they all specialized in different acoustics

*not an insult to those people i don't expect anyone to know this stuff

#long post #sorry i could rant for hours about the beach boys #the beach boys

[reddeadlywine]

"The story of my growing up" or "How I came to know Formula 1".

Before you start reading this.

I want to warn you that I am not a native English speaker and there may be mistakes here. This story is not fiction, it is a true story of my life.

Trigger warning: bullying, depression episodes, parental divorce.

2014

It was May, the Monaco Grand Prix. My father was watching TV as usual and accidentally switched to a sports channel, there was a race on. I was nearby and my attention was caught by the TV, I started watching and after 15 minutes I couldn't tear myself away from the TV, it was like I fell in love at first sight. During this Grand Prix, Jules Bianchi scored the first points for his team, finishing in 9th place. I was amazed by the applause and joy of his team and himself. From that day on, he became my favourite driver. I was just a kid I was not well versed in some important things like the leaderboard, what teams even existed (but I definitely knew Mercedes and Ferrari). I was just a little kid who watched the races mesmerised and Jules was the ultimate winner for me.

Unfortunately, I didn't know about the race schedule and hardly saw any of the races, but I did get to see the Japanese and Russian Grand Prix. The first one was Japan, I was very excited to see Jules again on the same channel on my TV, I was watching the whole race, I was jumping at every interesting and high-risk moment. Until all of a sudden Jules had a terrible crash. I didn't realise what was happening, I kept going back and forth around the living room to find out what had happened. I only learnt about Jules' condition during the Russian Grand Prix when the commentator said about the accident Jules had been in. From that day on I didn't watch the 2014 season anymore. Every time I came to the TV and realised that Jules wasn't there I went to my room upset.

2015

I went back to the sports channels looking for information about Formula 1. It was the beginning of summer, with a couple of months to go until my birthday. For the first time in months, I saw Formula 1. It was the Canadian Grand Prix. Again without Jules. I knew he needed to recover from the accident as I had been in an accident myself a couple of months before and had a head and arm injury. I thought that since I had been treated and was running and having fun again, he would soon be on the TV screens in his race car, with his incredible smile that I had grown to love so much.

17 July 2015

My next birthday, family and friends gathered to celebrate. Even my godfather, who I haven't seen in so long but still love so much, came along. Everyone around was having fun and enjoying themselves, but in the evening I felt strange somehow, I couldn't describe it. And it's very difficult for me to do so to this day. A few days later, the Hungarian Grand Prix took place. At the moment when the commentators announced that the young driver's heart had stopped beating on the evening of 17 July, I couldn't believe what I heard. I couldn't stop the tears, I felt a sharp pain inside me as if a thousand daggers had been stabbed into my still very young heart. I cried for the rest of the day and all night. I didn't eat or drink well for days. I was insanely sad about the death of my most favourite rider.

I vaguely remember what happened next.

In 2016 I had not much time to watch races, my father often punished me for every little thing, forbidding me to use the computer and TV.

In 2017, my parents made the decision to divorce. My heart was once again full of daggers. I couldn't make many friends in the new city where me, my mum and my brother moved to. I had completely forgotten about Formula 1.

In 2019, I decide to switch on one of the sports channels I recently found. I was watching Formula 1 again. I was happy as a child, watching the drivers again. I started to understand more, I started to transcribe the racers' radios myself, because by then I started to understand English much better. Every time I thought of Jules, tears came to my eyes, but I stopped thinking about it.

In 2020, people at school started bullying me. I get depressed, I try to get away from bad thoughts any way I can, I watched old Grand Prix (very badly remember which ones) but it didn't help.

In 2021 I'm getting better but I don't watch F1, I took extra assignments at school. But I also ended friendships with many close friends, I couldn't keep anything in my head, my memory deteriorated. I got into an car accident again with my father, who I had been visiting for the summer all this time.

In 2022 Formula 1 stopped broadcasting in my country because of the political situation. I knew I had wasted too much time not watching it earlier. In the same year, I stopped communicating with my close internet friend who often supported me in difficult situations. I felt worse, I didn't know where I could now see my favourite sport again. I started to see Formula 1 videos on TikTok more often.

Since the start of the 2023 season, I haven't missed a single practice, qualifying, sprint or race. I fell in love all over again. It was a new breath of air for me, a return to my childhood, where I was a little kid who didn't worry about anything. I started to see more videos of Jules Bianchi and Charles Leclerc. I began to cry more often because of my longing for Jules. At the end of October my longing doesn't go away, I cry a lot because of the TikTok video with Jules. I remembered my dream from my childhood: I wanted to become an adult to meet him in real life. Unfortunately, that dream will never come true. I also cry a lot remembering this very talented man, his incredibly beautiful smile.

Every time I look at Charles, I see Jules next to him, his godfather, his close friend, his guardian angel, who is now forever with him, though not physically.

Jules Bianchi will always have a place in my heart, in my soul. He has been my favourite racing driver since 2014 when I was a kid. I'm not a kid anymore, but he's still my favourite racing driver. He made me fall in love with Formula 1, made it the meaning of my life.

"Time heals, but that part will always be missing."

#formula 1 #jules bianchi #jb17 #charles leclerc #cl16 #Spotify

[beaft]

omg your post just reminded me of wtnv…i haven't listened to it since 2015? i think?? which is weird because i saw them live in 2014 but i can't remember why i stopped. anyways i've been looking for new podcasts to have on in the background for my new job, do you think it'd be worth just starting from the beginning? does it hold up/is it still good?

i haven't paid real attention to it in years, so i'm probably the wrong person to ask, but sometimes when i'm sad or stressed i'll pop on an episode and let it play in the background. it's like a surrealist version of the shipping forecast.

#fun fact: while on a date with someone i discovered we had both attended the same wtnv live show in 2015 lol #small world!! #but yeah i don't follow it anymore #if i listen to it it's purely for the cadence of cecil's voice (nostalgic) and disparition's music (soothing)