#I just personally would’ve preferred if the characters were not animals but we

[somethingexcessivelyphallic]

So far on my snow day I’ve: watched that gay furry porn anime, written gay homestuck porn. I think I’m gonna make a pumpkin loaf now.

#unproductive day #or really productive #seriously tho I had no idea that furry anime was so furry #which in retrospect is really fucking obvious and all my friends are making fun of me for not realizing #I just thought it was like. a normal anime where everyone was animals #i realized too late I’d already seen the bunny tiddies #in my defence I had it on in the background and wasn’t really watching it #until the sexy bun bun and looked up and was like whaaaat #like I can see why it’s so popular #I just personally would’ve preferred if the characters were not animals but we #beastars #homestuck #snow day #me myself and i #personal

[teyums]

Contagious ✽ Lo’ak Sully

wc: 8.4k

pairing: lo’ak x fem! na’vi reader (characters are aged up for plot purposes)

contains: angst, slight enemies to lovers trope, some language, and fluff of course <3

warnings: none, slight hinting of intimate feelings if you squint

a/n: Requested? No. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN. also testing out different spacing with my works so lmk if you guys like this spacing better!

“Absolutely not.”

“Hard pass.”

You both spoke in unison, immediately denying the ridiculous suggestion that came from the mouths of your mothers before you could even think about it. There was no way on Pandora you were going to spend more than five minutes, let alone three whole days alone with this man in the woods.

You refused, you wouldn’t stand for this. Your mother sighed, the shortness of her breath indicating that the decision wasn’t up for debate. “You should be open to the idea, [Y/n]. Lo’ak is a fine warrior and a skilled hunter. I think he could teach you a lot. So the two of you need to set aside your differences and work it out, just for a few days.” She said, Neytiri’s voice chiming in behind her in agreement.

You were never very interested in hunting. You harbored the skill, of course, but you much preferred weaving or crafting over shooting unsuspecting animals with poisonous arrows.

Lo’ak huffed out a humorless laugh, gesturing over to you with his hand while he addressed his mother. “Why me, Ma? Why can’t one of the others help her? Even Tuk knows how to shoot an arrow!”

“Enough, Lo’ak. It is decided.” Neytiri said, and the look in her eyes confirmed that she was not budging.

He kissed his teeth, dragging a hand down his face and covering his mouth before he could say something that would get him in trouble. As if that was the only way he could control his tongue. You glanced over at him, furrowing your brows while he only stared straight ahead at the wall of the hut— now completely detached from the conversation with a locked jaw.

You looked to your mom as a silent plea, only to receive a pointing stare back that caused you to quietly hiss in distaste. You were the first to exit the elders’ tent upon dismissal, the lanky Sully boy unwillingly trailing behind you.

Once you were far enough to make sure you were out of earshot, you turned around to face him. Trying to lighten the mood. “I guess three days isn’t so bad, right? At least we already know each other. It’s not like I’m a stranger or anything.”

“If I had a choice between three days with you, or getting yelled at by my mom, I think we both know I would’ve chosen the latter.” He grumbled, pushing past you and bumping into your shoulder in the process.

You caught your footing before you could stumble back, spinning on your heels to face him again. “Jeez, Lo’ak! Do you have to be such an asshole all the time?”

He ignored you, like usual, and continued along the path to wherever he was headed. You felt your eye twitch with a vengeance, pursing your lips and taking a sharp breath inwards to quiet the urge you had to send the wood of your bow flying into the back of his head.

It hadn’t always been like this between you two, and honestly you couldn’t understand where it all went wrong. You and Lo’ak grew up as pretty good friends, considering your mothers were the best of them. They expected you and Lo’ak to grow up and be each other’s mates. Often pairing the both of you together to complete simple tasks around the village that could easily use one person, which only helped in solidifying the strength of your bond. And honestly, you were never opposed to the idea of it, and even found yourself starting to like him.

You often explored the forest together, even when you were young. Allowing him to show you all his secret spots and hiding places he ran to when the heat at home was too much for him to handle. In actuality, you were his escape.

“Come on, [Y/n]! Try to keep up!” A young Lo’ak yelled from a branch above, laughing and dodging your attempt to grab at his tail.

“Wait for me, Lo’ak! You’re too fast!” You groaned, jumping up to grab a branch with your hands and pulling yourself up the rest of the way. You watched him hop onto a cliff and you followed, hands resting on your knees while you tried to catch your breath.

“Catch me if you can, slowpoke!” The young sully teased, darting through the vast foliage and hopping over fallen trunks.

You weren’t one to back down from a challenge, especially not from Lo’ak. Whenever the two of you would play games with each other and he’d win, he would hold it against you for weeks and rub it in your face. You lifted your head, seeing his tail be the last of him to disappear into the trees “You’re on, Sully!” You took one last deep breath, pushing off your feet and starting to run in the same direction he had.

You memorized his movements so you could go faster, ducking where he had and shoving giant leaves from your view. However, you miscalculated a step, the front of your foot hooking under a mossy log and sending you tumbling forward into the dirt below you.

Hearing your footsteps closing in, Lo’ak picked up speed so you wouldn’t be able to catch him. But as he readied himself to climb another tree, he heard a thud. He paused, turning around to look behind him and brows pinching when he didn’t seen you. “[Y/n]?” He called out, eyes widening when he heard a series of whines sound out in response instead of your usual cheery voice. “Oh shoot,” He mumbled, sprinting back to where he had last left you.

“Ow ow ow!” You cried profusely, pushing yourself off the ground so you could sit up. You winced and pulled your bruised knee to your chest, lip trembling at the sight of blood appearing from a small gash in your skin.

“Oh no,” Lo’ak’s eyes widened at the sight of you covered in dirt, dropping down next to you with a worried look on his face. “Are you okay? What happened?” His voice was soft, both of his hands cautiously holding your leg while he studied how deep the wound was.

“I tripped over a log and fell…” You whined, using the back of your hand to wipe your tears.

He instantly looked up when he heard you sniffle. “No no no, please don’t cry…” His face was tense as he appeared to be in deep thought. He exhaled in preparation, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss to the side of your knee, away from your broken skin. “There,” He backed up, cheeks flushing to match yours. “That’s what my mommy does when I get hurt, and it usually helps me feel better… Did it work?”

A small smile spread on your lips and your tears dried up, face rosy when you nodded your head. “Y-yeah. I guess it does feel a little better. Thanks, Lo’ak.”

He flashed a toothy grin, excited that you were feeling better and rising to his feet. A small, four-fingered hand extended out to help you up, and you slid your tiny palm into his. Brushing the dirt off your legs with the other. “We don’t have to play anymore if you don’t wanna-” He said, the rest of his sentence cut off when you shoved past him, into his shoulder and darted along the path.

“Catch me if you can, penis face!” You giggled, squealing when he yelled your name and began to chase after you.

Life as best friends with Lo’ak was never boring. In fact he was the one who introduced you to having fun in the first place. You knew him to be snarky, painfully sarcastic. But never cold.

There was a sweet side to him that he would let you take a glance at here and there, behind all the name calling. Could he be aggravating at times, and maybe a little mean with the teasing? Yes, but never cold. So when he suddenly stopped treating you like a friend one day and instead no more than a stranger— saying you were confused would be putting it lightly. All you could chalk it down to was puberty. Maybe the new influx of hormones had made him… less social?

You were hurt, you couldn’t deny it. There was something different about him, something he wasn’t letting you in on, like a switch you didn’t know existed had flipped in his mind. Coincidentally as soon as you hit the age where men began to court you, he fell off the face of the planet entirely.

Losing him pained you deeply, he had always been there to help you with any issues you had. Eager to give you advice on any situation you needed another perspective on, or just cheer you up with his rambunctious attitude. There were so many times you wanted to stop and ask him what happened, if you had done something wrong. But you knew he’d look straight through you like he always did nowadays.

The walk home was silent. You were definitely not looking forward to this three day trip you had no choice but to partake in. You wouldn’t have minded if your mom chose one of the other warriors, because being around Lo’ak only became increasingly more awkward as time went on.

For someone who previously had so much to talk to you about in the past, he was awfully closed off in your presence. You shook yourself out of your daydreaming and began searching through your tent. Packing just a few things. Some extra clothes, a quiver of arrows, and spare string for your bow just in case. You grabbed the strap and slung it over your shoulder, next lifting a woven pouch over your head and crossing it over your body.

Pushing past the flaps that served as an entrance to your home. You felt the daytime breeze hit your face and a wave of peace washed over you. Until you turned your head to the side to see a particular male leaned against the outside wall of your hut, arms crossed over his chest.

“Took you long enough.”

“Oh my-” You jumped, startled by his voice and bringing a hand up to clutch your chest to make sure your heart hadn’t jumped through your ribcage. “Jesus, Lo’ak! Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Nah,” He snorted at your reaction, pushing himself off and walking ahead without you. “I think you’re just a wuss.” You swore you heard the smirk oozing out of his tone. Rolling your eyes and starting off after him, having to do a slight jog to catch up as his strides were much longer than yours due to the length of his legs.

One condition to the three day trip included not being able to use your Ikrans. Your mothers insisted you hiked on foot, saying it would be a good refresher of the land. You walked next to him in silence, keeping your stare straight ahead and grumbling to yourself when the strap of your quiver began to slip off your shoulder for the third time.

He turned to look at you curiously, eyes falling to the case of arrows you were carrying. “Gimme that,” Before you could answer his hand was over your shoulders, grasping the strap in his hands and pulling it off your arm. He tilted his head to the side to swish his braids out of the way, throwing your arrows over his shoulder that was already carrying his own.

You stared at him with a confused expression, having to remind yourself to keep your feet moving. “I was perfectly fine carrying that on my own, you know.”

“Was just being nice.” He sighed, not even bothering to meet your gaze while he spoke.

“Yeah, that’s rich coming from you.” You muttered under your breath with folded arms, not missing the way his ear twitched, jaw tensing at your words. You thought you said it quiet enough, but by the look on his face, he definitely heard you. You figured you’d keep the banter to a minimum for the rest of the way to your campsite.

After about thirty minutes you arrived at a secluded part of the forest where not many animals came through. Fauna dressed with various shades of greens and browns that encased the area, the forest floor mossy and soft against the soles of your feet.

You took a deep breath and looked around, inhaling the air that seemed much fresher around you from all the vegetation. Lo’ak had already gotten busy setting up, crouching down to set your equipment against the base of a tree trunk. You plopped down into a sitting position and sighed in relief. He walked so fast that you damn near had to sprint the entire way here.

Two bows in hand, he silently walked past where you were sitting and started on his way back into the trees. Invested in the colorful wildflowers surrounding your feet, you hadn’t noticed he was no longer in front of you until you looked up to see your bows gone, as well as him. “Lo’ak?” You whipped your head around with a hint of fear in your voice, trying to figure out which direction he had went.

“Come on, hurry up!” He yelled out, your ears perking up once you realized he hadn’t travelled far. You sighed and forced yourself to stand, quickly skipping through the forest to catch up with him.

His behavior was so odd, it was only making you more agitated by the second. You angrily stared at his back, having to look away shortly after once your mind unexpectedly jumped from how annoying he was to how his muscles flexed when he walked.

It really had been long since the two of you were alone, because you hadn’t remembered his shoulders being this broad, or his legs this toned. Training with Neteyam and his father was clearly paying off.

You pointed your chin up when he turned around to hand you your bow, rolling your lips into themselves and trying not to blush at the fact that he almost caught you staring.

“Here,” He pushed it in your direction, not letting go until your hand wrapped around the curve of the wood and took it from his grasp.

You followed closely behind him, looking up to see lemurs swinging from branch to branch while the wild life croaked and screeched around you. He suddenly slowed in pace, causing you to almost stumble into his back while his knees bent slightly, taking long strides while keeping his eyes pinned on the ground below him. His head low.

You peered around curiously, trying to get a look at his face. “What are you doing?”

“Shh, tracking.” He muttered.

You paused. “Why?”

“You want to eat, don’t you?” He responded, irritated.

“I was just asking a question, no need to get your panties in a bunch.” Grumbling, you ducked your head under a low-hanging branch after he did.

“I don’t wear panties.” He huffed, swiftly equipping an arrow to the string of his bow and preparing to pull it back. He must have spotted something you hadn’t.

“Could’ve fooled me, cause for the last four months you’ve kinda been acting like a bitch-“ Your eyes darted in the direction where leaves rustled, sighing when you saw the small hexapede he was planning on piercing with an arrow skit past the two of you. Disappearing into the trees due of the volume of your voice.

“God, ugh!” He dropped his bow to his side, head snapping around to look at you with the most agitated expression you’ve ever seen him wear. “Do you ever stop talking? Like, genuinely asking here. If you had just shut up with the questions we wouldn’t have lost our dinner.”

You swallowed the spit pooling in your mouth and bit the inside of your cheek, only looking down at your feet and mumbling a nearly non-existent ‘sorry’. Had you stayed looking up, you wouldn’t have missed the look of regret that flashed across his face. You felt your heart pinch at the venom in his tone and decided against speaking up again.

Eclipse had fallen over the sky about an hour later, the both of you trudging to the campsite with a couple fish skewered onto your arrows. The journey back was excruciatingly silent. You hadn’t dared to make a peep after seeing how much you pissed him off earlier. He attempted to make some side comments during the hike to spark up a conversation, but you were so tuned out from the present situation that his words fell on deaf ears.

You now sat with your back against the bark of a burly tree, keeping yourself busy by continuing to weave a top you had previously been working on back at home. You were glad you thought to bring it with you, not knowing you would need something to occupy you from looking up and catching the pair of eyes that were boring holes into your forehead like lasers.

He sighed as he watched you, guilt burning in the pit of his stomach as if he were in hell. You forgot that he knew you, forgot that he knew you would distract yourself with random tasks just to avoid speaking on something that bothered you. He hadn’t meant to snap like that, and honestly you weren’t even the reason for his irritability. He just took it out on you on accident.

“You hungry?” He held up a freshly roasted fish, beckoning it towards you and assuming you could see him even though your gaze was downcast into your work.

“Nope.” You muttered.

“Why?”

“Big lunch.” Your movements became slightly jagged at his questioning.

“That’s bullshit. You never eat lunch.” He scoffed.

You threw the top you were working on down in front of you and huffed in frustration. Why was he acting like he still knew you as if this entire time it hadn’t been his mission to become strangers again?

“You wanna know what’s bullshit, Lo’ak? Us being friends since childhood, spending almost everyday together and then suddenly you stop talking to me at all. You treat me like a complete stranger and I don’t even understand why.” His eyes left yours and settled on the fish in front of him, as if this was suddenly his first time seeing one. He was quiet for a beat, making you huff out an aggravated breath and throw your hands up at the futile attempt to get him to speak.

“I’m sorry.” He finally mumbled.

You blinked, waiting for him to continue, eyebrows raising in disbelief when he didn’t. “That’s it? You’ve been treating me like I’m the bane of your existence for months now and all you can say is sorry? You missed my Uniltaron when you promised you’d be there for me, and now all you can say is sorry?” You laughed bitterly, standing up before he could form an answer to your rhetorical question. Eyes pinning him in place as you watched his body shift to stand. “Don’t follow me.” You held a hand up to stop him, stalking away before you could blow a fuse. You weren’t planning to go far, you just needed to be away from him for a bit.

Lo’ak sat in that same spot the entire time you were gone, his appetite dissipating while he stared down at his hands in shame. He didn’t know what he expected, but all he knew was he felt bad for hurting your feelings to this point. It was one of the things he hated about himself the most, his irrational decisions that never considered the other party’s feelings.

Honestly, he thought so little of himself that he assumed you wouldn’t be bothered by his absence. But now that he was rehashing the details over in his mind he felt like an idiot. Of course it bothered you, the two of you were attached at the hip and best friends who did almost everything together, until he let the discouraging words of others get into his head.

His previously slumped body sat up as he saw you re-emerge from the trees, guilt rushing over him once more because your avoidant eyes still refused to meet his.

He looked up at the moon, realizing it was getting late and starting to put the fire out. You lowered yourself to the mossy grass, sliding down until the soft blades tickled your back. You discreetly watched Lo’ak do the same, along with putting a few feet of space between the two of you as he could nearly feel the anger radiating off your body.

With the fire now put out, the draft that travelled through the air made small goosebumps prick at your skin. And with shut eyes you curled your body into itself to capture as much heat as you could. Lo’ak laid next to you with his back flat against the grass, hands resting on his middle and gaze glued to the twinkling stars above. He allowed his eyes to come to a close but just a few moments after they did, they snapped back open and looked in your direction at the sound of you shuffling around.

“You’re cold.” He stated. The words coming out as an observation and not a question.

“I am not.” How fast you answered made it easy for him to know you weren’t telling the truth.

“You’re a terrible liar, and I can hear your teeth chattering from over here.” He sighed, propping himself up on an elbow and talking to your back. “You know you catch colds easily, [Y/n]. So c’mere.”

Your eyes opened at his suggestion and your body tensed, but not from the brisk air blowing against your skin. “And what’s that gonna do?” Cringing at how pathetic your voice sounded. You had planned on coming off assertive and uninterested.

“Warm you up?” He looked around as if the answer were obvious, and it was. But for some reason you felt… shy. You and him were once friends, so close to the point where hugging or holding hands had became normal. You’d even sat in his lap a few times. So now that you were sure the two of you no longer favored each other, why would this feel any different?

“Come on, my mom will skin me if I bring you home sick. It’s not a big deal.” He tacked that on for good measure, clearing his throat to push down the weird fuzzy feeling that was traveling up the column of his neck when you slowly sat up. Only half convinced at his reasoning, you reluctantly scooted over towards him, daring not make eye contact.

His lips almost curling up into his usual sideways smile was a sight you tried your best to ignore, witnessing it from the corner of your eye as you moved. Having the intense urge to smack it off his face but gently laying your body down next to his in order to control yourself. He cautiously wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer and inviting your head to lay on his chest.

You inhaled through your nose, unknowingly holding your breath when his warm hand came in contact with your skin, while he respectfully rested it just below your shoulders. You kept your arms tucked into yourself, legs laid out straight and your cheek pressed against the azure barrier between you and his beating heart.

You instinctively snuggled in closer, silently grateful for the comforting warmth radiating off his body and he could feel it when you relaxed in his hold, just like you used to. You had forgotten what it felt like to be this close to him. Soaking in the lullaby of his soft breaths and you hated how much you missed it.

The ear pressed to his chest picked up on a slight increase in his heart rate, and you threw a remark out just to keep the energy from shifting into weird grounds. “This doesn’t change anything, by the way. I’m still mad at you. I just hate being sick.”

He stared down at your body in close proximity to his, nose nuzzled into your soft hair as discreetly as possible while he mentally kicked himself for being dumb enough to ruin something like this for himself. Giving you the cold shoulder in the past just to quell his own feelings had been one of his stupidest decisions yet. “Yeah, I know.” He swallowed, his hand hesitantly reaching to stroke up and down your arm. “I am sorry though, [Y/n]. Really.” His apology was layered.

You bit your lip, feeling the urge to respond but not having it in you to set aside your pride. There was no way he was getting back in this easily, not after he had you questioning everything you knew due to his closed off behavior. “Just go to sleep, Lo’ak.” You sighed. He agreed by closing his eyes.

Fleeting sounds of chirping birds and leaves ruffling from the lemurs above your head rustled you from your slumber, eyelids slowly peeling apart to see the world sideways. You rubbed your eyes to clear your vision. You were on your other side now, and Lo’ak wasn’t in front of you.

You went to stretch, your limbs feeling a bit cramped from sleeping on the hard forest floor for hours on end. Regardless of your slightly achy joints and the lack of your hammock netting beneath you, this was surprisingly the best night’s sleep you’d had in a while. Weird.

Extending your legs outwards, you went to do the same for your back when you felt a pair of tightly wrapped arms around your middle halt your efforts. Your body stilled when you realized the hard surface against your upper back belonged to the man you were trying to make yourself despise.

Sometime during the brisk night you turned over onto your other side, and Lo’ak had pulled your slender body back into his and tucked himself into you. He was holding you as if this had been what he wanted to do for years, his light snoring indicating that he felt comfortable enough to sleep so deeply.

And as soon as you came to the revelation, all of your senses began to kick back in at an overwhelming rate. The feeling of his head snuggled into the small of your neck. His soft, parted lips just grazing the surface of your skin. His light breaths leaving temporary traces of heat on your collarbone made your ears flick with a feeling you didn’t want to put a name to. The backside of your body fit into his like a puzzle piece, flush with no room between as if he were scared you’d disappear in the middle of the night.

You felt your heart quicken in pace, cheeks flushing at how you had gone from not speaking, to being cuddled up with one another in just a day. Though the two of you interacted like you couldn’t stand each other, your bodies naturally knew you craved affection only the other could provide and they betrayed the front you tried to put on.

Would the two of you had fallen into each other so intimately, so accepting in the comfort of an embrace during the night, if you truly weren’t supposed to be like this?

You were too stubborn to care, and maybe a bit in denial, too. All you knew was that you needed it to stop because your brain was turning to mush the longer each rise of his chest moved your body in sync.

“Lo’ak!” You smacked the back of his hand and hissed his name, the action pulling him out of his deep sleep.

“Huh?” He grumbled, sharply inhaling with sudden consciousness and opening his eyes.

“Move. Your arms.” You spoke through gritted teeth, eyes flicking down to the limbs that had you caged.

He raised a brow, not understanding what you were talking about until he peered over your shoulder. “Oh shit,“ He instantly retracted his arms, allowing you to scramble away from him while he sat up and nervously watched you readjust your garments. He hadn’t meant to make you uncomfortable in the slightest, he didn’t even realize he was holding you in such a way until you woke him up— and right about now you looked like you wanted nothing to do with him.

Little did he know.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I- I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off, not being able to meet your gaze and hoping you’d finish his thought for him, so he wouldn’t have to say it aloud.

You were too flustered to even think about eye contact, shaking your head and interjecting before he could continue speaking. “It’s fine. Let’s just, pretend it didn’t happen.” You mumbled, not missing the way he looked at you as if he wanted to disagree, his mouth opening just to close a second later.

All he did was nod, clearing his throat and rising to his feet while you tried to busy yourself by brushing imaginary dirt off your body.

You tried your best to make the rest of the day as normal as possible, to no avail, of course.

For some strange reason, you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes off him. After a while of him ignoring you, it had became pretty easy to do the same to him. Before this morning, at least.

You cursed your sharp, all seeing eyes. The way they caught every muscle that tensed in his strong legs when he took a step forward, or how his defined shoulders pulled apart to send an arrow plunging through the air.

Every time he turned towards you to speak, you had to force yourself to look away. The fact that you couldn’t seem to control the thoughts invading your mind without your permission was starting to piss you off. And the way his chiseled abs cut directly into a ridiculously evident v-line above the hem of his loincloth, with the rest of it hidden and succeeding in peaking your interest, was not helping you in the slightest.

What was wrong with you? How was it that you felt even more drawn to him now that he was more detached than ever? He seemed to notice your discomfort, eyes narrowing at your focused expression cast upon a boring tree trunk when you didn’t answer to your name.

“Huh?” You snapped your eyes back in his direction when he called your name again, gulping at his oddly knowing expression.

“You seem awfully distracted. Are you alright?” He said.

“Yeah, like you’d care.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes, eager to keep up your tough and uninterested front.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He folded his toned arms in front of him and you kept your eyes locked on the scowl he wore. It was a double edged sword, either you looked away which would solidify his suspicion that something was in fact going on with you, or you continued to make eye contact with the searing orbs that were making your heartbeat bang against your eardrums. Somehow the second option seemed like the better one.

“It means exactly what you think it means. We stopped being friends a while ago, Lo’ak. That was what you wanted, and you made it very obvious.” You grabbed an arrow from your quiver and pulled it against the string of your bow, extending your arm out and aiming for the makeshift target he had carved into the tree bark with his knife a little ways in front of you.

His brows knit together, features screwing up as if you had just made some outlandish claim. “What do you mean? We never stopped being friends. I still care about you, [Y/n].”

Your heart jumped at the unexpected words that left his mouth, fingers slipping when you released the arrow. It missed the target by a long shot, landing outside and below the circle.

You bit the inside of your cheek, shaking your head and the feeling that was creeping up your throat, out and away. “Well you sure as hell don’t act like it. And I’m pretty sure friends are supposed to speak to each other.” You mumbled, digging your toes into the dirt, the soil moist along your sole while you prepped another arrow.

“I-“ He sighed, mind searching for the right words. “I promise it wasn’t personal. There was just a lot going on, and I got busy.” He moved to stand close behind you, gently raising your elbow upwards with the tips of his fingers. He pressed a hand to your stomach and pushed it against your core, a silent instruction to strengthen your stance.

Oh right. He was supposed to be coaching you on your form. So why did it feel like more than that?

You sucked a breath in through your teeth, squeezing your eyes shut to try and put out the fire his hand ignited. Your core tightened, much to his approval. But not for the reason he assumed. You cleared your throat and stared daggers into the target in front of you, the shakiness of your voice paired with your hands giving away just how flustered he was making you.

“Oh sure. Busy trying to keep me out of your life, right?” You spat, releasing your grasp and hitting millimeters from the bullseye.

You felt the heat of his firm chest against the skin of your back, a small gasp leaving your lips when his lips brushed against the tip of your ear as he leaned down. “Busy trying to keep my mind off you.” He responded, voice so low you could’ve missed it had you not been paying attention.

“What?” You turned around to face him, your faces much closer than you expected and you quickly took a step back.

“I said,” He took one closer. “I was busy trying to keep my mind, off you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Stop playing games with me, Lo’ak. You’ve confused me enough already.” This morning made sure of that.

He reached for your hands, the speed in which you dropped your bow to the ground almost comical and you allowed him to slip his fingers into your palms. “I would never say something like that if I didn’t mean it, [Y/n]. There wasn’t a single moment I wasn’t thinking about you. There never has been, and there never will be. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much space I put between us, I just can’t shake you.” He said, the pads of his thumbs smoothing along the backs of your hands.

You blinked at him in disbelief, eyes widened as you stared at him in shock. You always thought there had been mutual feelings there. The way he acted with you in the past versus the other girls in the village confirmed that. Which was why the sudden rejection of your company and his absence in your life had pained you so much. You not only lost your bestfriend, but the man you hadn’t gotten the chance to love.

“I know, I know. It’s a lot,” He sighed, gnawing at his lip as your apprehension began to mirror onto him. “And I know, I was an asshole-“

“Are an asshole.” You corrected, watching him immediately nod in agreement.

“Alright, I’m an asshole. It was stupid to distance myself from you, and I regret it more than you know, I swear of it. I just didn’t know how to sort through my feelings, and I let everyone get in my head and tell me you’d be better off and… I guess I agreed with them? But I knew there was no way you would listen, so I tried my hardest to make you hate me.” He spoke cautiously, nearly wincing at how bad it sounded now that he was saying it out loud.

Your hand came up before you could control it, palm landing across his cheek and the force of it making his head turn to the side. You glared at him with a tense jaw, the tears pricking your waterline indicating something other than anger.

Lo’ak nodded to himself, licking his bottom lip and grazing his fingers over the sting your hand had left on his cheek. “Yeah, I deserved that.” He breathed out a humorous laugh.

You waited forever to have a moment like this with him, and now that you finally had, it wasn’t anything like what you expected it to be. Confessions bringing up stifled emotions and painful memories you thought you buried ages ago. And now the only thing you could think about was all the time that had been wasted due to miscommunication.

“So let me get this straight, you genuinely thought that destroying the bond we had was better than just letting me love you? Couldn’t you have given me a choice, to decide what I thought was best for me? I loved you, Lo’ak. And you broke my heart.” The rise of your chest stuttered and made your voice crack, the sound of it making his eyes soften with remorse.

“Loved?” He parroted, amber eyes searching yours for any remnants of the feeling he hoped remained.

You snatched your hands away, not even realizing what you had said until he repeated it back to you. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” You muttered.

“The hell it doesn’t! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

You rubbed your forehead in annoyance, feeling a headache coming on and his response only made it worse. “Do you even listen to your mom when she talks to you? Have you not noticed how they put us together in almost every situation possible?” You gesticulated your hands angrily. “They’ve been asking us why we don’t speak anymore, and this trip was a way to make that happen.”

He cursed himself under his breath, because you were right. He doesn’t listen to his mom when she talks— most of the time he’s tuning her out in case it’s just the usual scolding because he did something stupid.

“You don’t get to ask the questions, Lo’ak. I’ve been sitting here for months, trying to talk to you and all you did was push me away, like I was contagious with a fucking disease. How could you?” Your hands balled into fists. You couldn’t fathom how he had found it in his heart to treat you this way.

And you were— contagious, in a way. No matter how hard he tried to push the feelings down, to rid his body of the fluttering sensation you gave him, being around you would only bring it back even stronger than it was before it left. The truth was, Lo’ak had never been as happy as he was with you and it scared him. Scared him so much that he let others make him believe he wasn’t deserving of it. Wasn’t deserving of you.

“You wouldn’t even look at me, not once! I went to our spot everyday, hoping you would show up and you never did. So I gave up.” You said, voice growing smaller with each word and wavering. He raised his hand to wipe the tears you hadn’t realized rolled down your cheeks, his expression so contrite when you leaned away from his touch that it hurt you to watch.

“Don’t say that, please don’t say that.” He pleaded in a whisper, both hands coming up now to cup your flushed face in his hands. “Please don’t give up on us when I’ve just figured it out. I know it took a while and I know I’m an idiot for it, but please don’t tell me that I’m too late.”

You wanted so badly to say yes. Your heart ached to throw yourself into his arms and forget about the way he had treated you, but you couldn’t. The damage had been done, and you were terrified. Terrified that if you let him in again, the past would repeat itself and you knew you couldn’t handle getting your heart stomped on for a second time.

Your hands found their way to his wrists, hiccuping at the thought of pulling them away. You shook your head, eyes locking on his to give him your final answer. “I’m sorry, Lo’ak. I can’t.”

You decided to end your trip early.

You couldn’t bare to be around Lo’ak anymore. Wanting to be with him just as much as he did you, but the doubts in your mind overwrote your heart any time you so much of thought about giving him a chance.

It was a constant battle and it was taking more of a toll on you than you expected. The feeling of his eyes burning into your back was unbearable, his jaw tensing because you just wouldn’t meet his eyes.

He was in agreement. He had finally been confident enough to challenge what the others swore would happen and came to terms with his feelings, but he was too late. The fact that you were so close that he could reach out and touch you was torturous, the only thing stopping him was the wedge he had plunged between you. He wanted to scream. To go back in time and yell in the face of his past self, to tell him that this was the stupidest decision he would ever make if he went through with it. He’d never forgive himself.

As soon as you were out the forest, you went your separate ways with no words spoken. Leaving Lo’ak alone where he stood, his arm moving to reach out to you but missing your fingers just by a mere inch. He prayed you would turn around, ‘come on, come on, turn around’ aimlessly repeating the words to himself. You didn’t.

He threw his bow to the ground, balling his fists up in frustration and bringing his arms up and over his head. “Fuck!” He growled, kicking at the ground and bringing up a cloud of dirt in the process.

You sat on the floor of your hut across from your mother, poking the steamed meat and vegetables around in your bowl with a lack of interest. Your elbow against the table and your chin propped into the palm of your hand, you couldn’t find it in you to take a bite. You had no appetite and feeding yourself was the last thing on your mind right now.

“Maite?” Your mother’s voice tore you from your endless rumination, and you looked up to see her expression as one of concern.

You hummed a mindless response. "Hm?"

“You’ve barely touched your food at all. You love when I make sturmbeest for you…” Her eyes motioned down to where your finger had been poking and prodding. “Is something wrong?” She asked.

You knew your mom, and she knew you. Chances are when she was asking you a question, there was no point in lying because she already had the answer. She just wanted to see what you’d say first. Nevertheless, you decided to try anyway.

You shook your head, pushing a small chunk of food into your mouth as to not be wasteful. “Just thinking.” You mumbled.

“Mm,” She nodded, her eyes never leaving where they were pinned on you. “Why don’t you go talk to him? Sitting here playing with your food won’t change anything.”

Her question nearly had you choking on your food, coughing a bit and forcing yourself to swallow with flared eyes. “H-huh? How did you…” You gulped, your rapid blinking and now straightened posture confirming her inference.

“Well you haven’t said one word of how the trip went since you got back. Not to mention, you came home early. And you haven’t been very present at dinner time lately, so I can only assume that something happened. Yes?” She quirked a brow at you.

You sighed, nodding and pushing your bowl out in front of you. There was no use in lying, you had to tell your mom the truth. You wanted to. “Yes he… He told me how he feels, finally. But I just don’t know what to do, and I don’t know if I can trust him again. I just don’t think it’s meant to be us, mom.” Shoulders drooping at your own revelation, you wanted nothing more than it to be him.

She tsked and shook her head at you, almost annoyed at your inability to see what was right in front of you. “Eywa does not make mistakes, my child. Since the two of you were little, there were signs. You should give him a chance to redeem himself. I am certain you won’t regret it.”

You trusted your mother more than anything. Her advice had never once led you astray, and you felt something wriggle it’s way through the cracks in your wall of uncertainty. Hope.

“You think so?” You asked quietly, fingers twiddling in anticipation. You felt newfound giddiness crawling up your spine and couldn’t find it in yourself to push it back down.

“I know so. The boy has been in love with you since the day you carved your first bows together.” She laughed and your hand shot up to cover an incoming smile. “Now go, find him and tell him how you feel. Don’t make him wait any longer.” She shooed, hastily waving her hands to bring you out of your lovesick trance.

You were up and out of your hut in seconds, bidding your mother a ‘see you later’ while your legs carried you faster than you could handle. You bundled your way past greeting villagers, responding quickly so you wouldn’t have to pause your trekking. They stared at you curiously, wondering where you were off to in such a hurry, away from your home and into the forest.

The heavy padding of your steps left illuminated patches of moss in your wake. The forest coming alive around you and the beating of your heart increasing with every duck under a leaf and leap over a log, knowing you were nearing your destination.

You eventually made your way uphill and onto a clearing, scenting him before you saw him. Poking your head around a low hanging branch, you felt nervousness pool in the pit of your stomach at the sight of Lo’ak’s slightly hunched form seated on the cliff. You stared at the back of his head, trying to gain the courage to approach him and preparing yourself for the conversation to come.

It wasn’t long before he caught a whiff of your scent as well, his ears unconsciously perking up. He could never mistake the intoxicating aroma of episoth petals and healing rose, a sigh escaping him when he remembered how lovely it had been to be around you those short two days. How being close to you after months apart scratched the itch he could never reach.

You walked over, slowly lowering yourself to sit next to him. Mimicking his position and draping your legs over the cliffside. “I thought you didn’t come here anymore.” Your gentle voice broke the silence, eyes focused on the stars gleaming in the distance.

“I never stopped, I was always here when you were. Even your Uniltaron, I was there. And I wanted to talk to you, to tell you I was sorry for the way I was acting. I just didn’t know how.” He said, voice low as if he were afraid to speak. Scared that he’d make another mistake.

You turned to look at him, taking in his glum state and drooped posture. A frown forming on your lips at his confession. You spent months upset with him, trying to hate him. Thinking he discarded your friendship to the side with malice, only to find out he had suffered just as much as you did. Blaming himself for a mistake he didn’t know how to undo. You cast your gaze down at your hands, taking a breath in before your fingers went to overlap his. His head snapped in your direction, his demeanor suddenly hopeful just at the mere touch.

“Lo’ak,” you started, weakly. “I’m scared.” Your eyes stapled shut, and he quickly grabbed your hand and pulled it close to him.

His features solemn, he silently begged you to open your eyes, holding your hand in both of his. “Why?” He whispered.

You sighed shakily, swallowing around nothing. “If I give myself to you, you can’t-“ Your voice shuddered and Lo’ak lifted your hand up, rubbing his cheek against the back of it as encouragement for you to continue. “Please don’t break me again.”

“Had I known I had your heart, I would’ve never done it. I want nothing more than to be loved by you, [Y/n]. To have the privilege to love you, to call you my own. If you’ll have me.” He voiced, bringing your knuckles to his lips and placing a light kiss upon them, golden irises never leaving the ones that were starting to water in front of him. “I love you too much to put you through that again.”

You had never seen Lo’ak so vulnerable, the look in his eyes one of such sincerity that your own emotions quickly overtook you. Ridding your mind of any reluctancy as you threw yourself into his arms. He exhaled heavily, taking not another moment to wrap his arms around you and bury his face into the space where your neck met your shoulder. Inhaling the scent he missed so much. He sighed in relief, hands splayed across your back to hold you as close to him as possible.

You pulled away, to his surprise as he instantly searched your face for any indication of something wrong. You held his face in your hands, barely able to tear your focus from his parted lips as you spoke. “I love you too, ma Lo’ak.” You whispered, his eyes softening at the term of endearment. You melted into his embrace when he closed the gap between you, pressing your lips together without a regard for air. Breathing him in would just have to be enough.

Your head tilted as you deepened the kiss. He chased your lips and followed suit, not wanting to be apart from you even for a second if he could help it. The kiss was desperate and delicate, hasty and lacking of grace as the both of you quenched the thirst water would not quell.

He broke away from you unwillingly, the need for air trumping his intense desire to continue. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He grinned, voice breathless and fangs peeking out while his warm hands travelled up and down the small of your back. Allowing a swarm of butterflies to take home in your belly.

You giggled and clambered your way into his lap, his immediate acceptance revealed in the way his hands dropped down to hold your hips without a second thought. You draped your arms over his shoulders before you pressed your forehead to his, your fingers grazing along the skin of his back to leave goosebumps in your wake. “Just shut up and kiss me again.” You cooed, watching him lick his lips.

You didn’t have to tell him twice.

He gladly leaned in, but not completely— his top lip just faintly brushing against yours. Languidly lingering there with his mouth slightly agape as he relished in the feeling of your warmth, breathing in your air. “Lo’ak…” Your gaze settled on his half-lidded one for a moment and you almost whimpered at the tease. Your hand finding the back of his neck and pulling him into you, eager to pick up right where you left off.

His lips pressed to yours and they moved gently but fervently. The feeling of your weight in his lap making him hum into your mouth as his arms pressed your body flush against his. The desire that remained from all the months apart bled through his soft touches and washed onto you, hands traveling desperately over his heated, striped skin as if you would run out of time.

This was something you could get used to.

Reblogs + Likes + Comments are much appreciated! 💗

#loak x reader #loak x y/n #loak x you #loak fanfiction #loak fic #avatar loak #loak fluff #lo’ak #lo’ak sully #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak x you #lo’ak fanfiction #avatar way of water #avatar twow #avatar fanfiction #avatar 2

[vethbrenatto]

TLOVM S2E7 Thoughts

WOW, I was like “i wonder if they’re going to keep in the ‘vex calls scanlan useless’ bits” a day ago and they literally. just started it I’m insane my intuition

I hadn’t even considered grog and the gnomes might not be in the episode but now I’m thinking that e7 might be team half elf plus Percy and e8 will be grog and gnomes

Lmao nerd boy is nerding

You couldn’t just pretend to be happy Vax

Nope totally wrong grog and the gnomes are here

WHAT IF I PUT MY HAND OF YOURS WHILE YOU HEALED YOURSELF WHAT THEN

literally this whole scene he’s holding her how am I supposed to focus

SKINNY GROG CANT HURT YOU

why do i have three peni.

how could you say that about his books vax

COUNTRY TRAVELING SONG WHAT THR FUCKCK

I’m really of two minds about the Pikelan direction they’re going in: I think it aids Scanlan in that it emphasizes his need to deflect sincerity with comedy. However, I think it really detracts from Pike in that campaign-Pike thinks Scanlan is funny. She likes his jokes. A lot of pike’s s1 arc in TLOVM feels inconsistent with her dislike of Scanlan’s crass side- like it’s very in her nature to find this stuff funny. Not that she can’t also like the sincere side, which she does, but just that I think her side of this narrative is making her character seem flatter than it should, especially when you group it with the fact she’s been given a lot of Kiki’s campaign personality traits

the drug trip scene is funny but was it necessary. there’s 8 minutes left where is saundor. or syldor. Where is the Vex focus. Maybe,, they’ll stay in the feywild for e8 while grog and gnomes head to Westruun?

Garmelie was merely the TRAVELER

okay so syngorn next episode.

Best Characterization: Percy. Love u nerd boy

TLOVM S2E8 Thoughts

ohhhh this episode is the Echo Tree, I had the order in my mind wrong no wonder I was so confused about the pacing

Syldor your bitchass can die

WILHAND TRICKFOOT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU SIR

ngl I think the titling hit less animated but fun nonetheless (it’s about the reactions, the live audience, the Matt’s face)

I love saundors voice literally slay sendhil

I adore this Vex in the Echo tree scene, I’ll touch more on it at the end

“My heart is someone else’s” NOW THERES A PUNCH THAT HITS

arty my boyyyy

Best Characterization: Vex

TLOVM S2E9 Thoughts

Boulder parchment shears!!

OKAY THERES THE PIKELAN I WANTED. she flirts back! it’s stupid!! he takes it too seriously!! they joke!!

KAYLIEEE SHES HERE SHES HERE

I don’t have much comment I just love the grog backstory

black hair pike 🥹💚

wait so scanlan wasn’t part of dranzel’s troupe :( that’s such a weird detail to remove

zanror does have a cutie nose

“What if I need you” mirroring s1 buddies ahhhh

Best Characterization: Grog/Pike

Overall Best Characterization: I’ll say Grog.

Okay so I liked this batch a lot, but I’ve got to come back to the question: Split the party- yay or nay?

And I’m still wavering between yay and nay.

Yay: I think the character beats particularly that came from the Grog + Gnomes side of the story hit harder with them sequestered on their own. This new “Grog finds his strength” taken literally storyline is a huge boon to Grog’s character even though I found it a bit superfluous at first. They were able to emphasize the Pikelan and to a lesser extent Scanlan/Grog dynamic that they haven’t been able to touch on as much before.

Nay: I felt like the episodes had some wasted time. Episode 7 I felt like we didn’t need the Feywild side of the story (the most important part is meeting Garmelie- the fight in that episode is essentially to drive further home that Vax is on a diverging path, something I think 4-6 already firmly established). Episode 8 I felt we didn’t need the Grog/Gnomes side of the story (meeting Wilhand was great, but the B plot of “giving grog an enema” was weak)

Ultimately, I think I come down on the side that I would’ve preferred the party to stick together. The weaker plot lines I outlined above I think could’ve been axed and the whole party could’ve gone to the Feywild, we’re still given significant Grog + Gnomes content, and then we’re given just a bit more time to stew in the concept of Syngorn. The punches, specifically with Perc’ahlia in Syngorn, fell flat to me because I don’t think they were given enough time. Had they cut the original E7 fight to make more context for Syngorn, I think it would’ve gone well in expanding context. Then, E9 could’ve remained totally the same just with the rest of VM along for the ride.

That said, maybe the split was worth it just for the country traveling Pikelan bop.

#the legend of vox machina #tlovm spoilers #tlovm thoughts

[kris-mage-fics]

1, 5, 12, and 24 for Kyrah and your preferred LI for her? c: though if you don't have a preferred one, I will always want to see love for the ladies especially lol. maybe Tallys??

I was actually trying to decide between Shery and Tallys before I finished reading your whole ask. So Tallys it is! And I agree, we need more love for the ladies! (Romance Asks)

1. What drew your character to their LI and vice versa?

I’m pretty sure Tallys thought Kyrahlise was hot, so wanted to bang her, lol! Tallys found that Kyrah was good company, relaxed and steady, kind, and thoughtful (both thoughtful of others, and insightful), which certainly helped things along. Kyrah being raised by Elves also made Tallys a little more open with her.

Kyrahlise found comfort in being around someone with a shared culture. Frankly if that hadn’t made her feel at ease so quickly with Tallys, I don’t think she would’ve been okay starting a FWB with her so soon. (Kyrah is demisexual.) Tallys’ calm demeanor, subtle wit, and intelligence, along with their shared interests, like cooking, being out in nature, and being around animals were also big draws to her.

5. How do they comfort each other when they are sad?

Kyrahlise will let Tallys vent if that’s what she needs, but the whole time she’ll stay physically close. Also hugs, lots of hugs, or hand holding! If Tallys initiates an emotional support makeout session after, well Kyrah won’t complain about it in the slightest! Tallys quietly holds Kyrahlise until she’s calmed down some. Then she’ll make her a cup of relaxing herbal tea. Kyrah isn’t much for talking when her emotions are running high, but once she’s come down some she’ll often talk about what’s bothering her. And that’s just a little easier to do with a cup of tea in her hands.

12. Do they have similar goals? If they clash, how do they deal?

They both want to live on their own terms, and adjacent to that, make the world a better place for their fellow Diminished. The possible issues come with their ideas of how to achieve those goals, especially the latter. Kyrahlise doesn’t have the negative view of Norms overall that Tallys has when the game starts. So she's happy to work with Norms to change things, whereas Tallys wouldn’t be to begin with. 

Kyrah has been nudging Tallys towards being less harsh on Norms, and seeing things with more nuance. Hopefully it’s enough to get Tallys to change, because if she stays hating them, that will be a dealbreaker for Kyrah. Indiscriminate hatred of Norms feels too much like some of the hatred Kyrahlise has endured. There’s no way she can stay in a relationship long-term with someone who holds those views, even if those views don’t personally harm her.

24. Is there any moment that happens between them that you know happens and just makes you melt?

So I’m pretty sure this moment will happen in-game, but I think about it a lot. It’s when Tallys first calls Kyrahlise “elan”. Kyrah is going to melt inside, and I will too! I’ve thought of different ways it’ll happen, but I doubt any of my ideas will be as satisfying as the real thing. Otherwise I’d probably try and write a fic about it!

Of course the moment will be especially impactful since Kyrahlise knows exactly what elan means. Plus it’s been so long since anyone has called her that. Her father called her ‘elan’ almost as much as her name. Hearing it again is like a stab in the heart, it brings up a lot of pain but it’s also so very comforting. (Her mother called her something that would translate to ‘little flower petal’ or just ‘little petal’, on account of her hair being rose gold.)

#answering this has given me so much brainrot for the two of them! #I've come up with some really good ideas because I've had these questions on my mind #and now I'm itching to start writing about the two of them lol #once they are past the 'hating Norms' issue and the difference in lifespan they will be very happy together! #romance asks #tallys ironwoood #oc: kyrahlise niriviel #shepherds of haven #shoh #sorry this took so long #this week was a very low spoon week

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Went to a 1920s themed murder mystery party for my friends 30th birthday!

I had fun dressing up and vaguely attempting to play a character

I am a little disappointed in myself because he had a cool photo drop set up and I didn’t get a photo. I asked my BFF is he wanted one and he said he didn’t care, and instead of saying that I would like one (to which he almost certainly would’ve come and taken one with me) I just said okay. And know I don’t have a photo because I didn’t ask for one.

But I did have lots of fun putting the fringe on sequin dress to turn it into a flapper dress. And I got to drink more of my sparkly purple cocktail left over from my birthday which was great.

And then the next morning me and the boy went to see the little mermaid 😊 he had no interest in the movie but went because I wanted to see it. It was my favorite movie as a kid so it fun to relive the nostalgia and overall it was v cute, but I think I prefer the animated version. It was fun that they had new songs but they just weren’t as good as the originals. And flounder was quite frankly horrifying. But I still had a good time and I enjoyed the mermaids and all the scenes where they were exploring the island were really fun and delightful.

But then on the car ride back it was just really quite and when I would ask him things I would just get short or even one word answers and he wouldn’t ask me anything in return and just felt like trying to talk to a brick wall and it made me so sad. And then he collected his stuff my house and left and like as soon as I closed I burst into sobs. And just like full on cried for several minutes. And then found my self looking into trying to change my Japan flight, but I bought an un changeable flight so there’s nothing to do there. Because I was convinced that being that sad over nothing had to mean it was a sign that the relationship was over and completely doomed and that it was a sign that he no longer liked me.

And then several hours later I felt better about everything and back to day dreaming about how we’re going to be together. It’s so strange. Objectively everything is fine with the relationship. We hang out a couple of times a week, he’s super considerate and generally a really good boy friend, I still think he’s super attractive, wee still mostly have a good time together. It’s just sometimes a little quite. And he does leave the toilet seat up. But that’s it. That’s the list of complaints. But have had this nagging feeling sometimes that he likes me in spite of all of quirks (like he finds all the purple and glitter annoying instead of endearing) and not because of them. Like maybe maybe I’m just the hottest person he could get to date him so he’s settling for me. It doesn’t help that last fall I lost like ten pounds so when we started dating in January I was the smallest I’ve been in a while, and now I’ve very slowly gained back maybe three ish pounds. Which like in the grand scheme of things is nothing, but you can’t logic with insecurities.

Or maybe he’s just been super tired lately and I need to supportive and do more for him instead of him always doing things for me (he doesn’t legitamently Plan most of our dates, admittedly partly because he just cares way more about food places than I do). And that I should generally stop freaking out about nothing. But also if like half of our interactions make me cry that’s not a sign that things are working. Even if I can’t pinpoint exactly what, it’s not a good way to be.

Anyway the party was fun!

#1920s #murder mystery #and then boy ramblings #because everybody loves a good boy ramble #sigh #I mean clearly I need to communicate more #or better somehow #but it feels so hard when it feels like he doesn’t want to communicate back #and getting him to actually tell me anything is like pulling blood from a stone #or so it feels #and then I just ask about frisbee because then he’ll actually talk #but I do not want to talk about frisbee all the time #and it feels like I’ve just committed to at least trying until after we go to Japan together in November #and then maybe I just call it a day #if you barely want to talk to me what are we even doing

[liannova]

discussing my thoughts about the different generations of lego friends

— generation 1

i absolutely love this generation. it’s simple, it’s sweet, it’s nostalgic. i was never a huge fan of lego friends growing up, but i still enjoyed it as a kid and have a couple prominent memories in relation to lego friends. (but anyway)

this gen is simplistic in a good way. the plots of the episodes are easy to understand. the characters feel super familiar, you kind of know what to expect with them. and they were established with the intent for at viewers to be able to relate to at least one of them, whether it be in terms of looks or interests. no, it’s not the most diverse lineup ever. if anything, the diversity in this generation was really bad.

i love the way they handled friendships in this, though, specifically with side characters. i liked how mia had plot points with characters like lacy, kate, livi, and fiona. and i always enjoyed the rivalry between stephanie and tanya (and the brief friendship between tanya and emma). there are more dynamics i could state, but these are the ones that come to my mind quickest. i feel like the side characters were unique enough, and every dynamic was unique in its own way, too.

i wasn’t the biggest fan of the voice and animation/design change that happened. it made sense for the movie, but for the episodes, it got confusing to me. a couple voices changed before then, but the alteration of the series between The Grand Hotel and Getting Out The Vote, i’ll probably never be the biggest fan of. i definitely prefer the earlier episodes, and while i absolutely do not hate the later episodes, i kind of just wished the voices stayed. idk why they changed, tbh, including the animation style. maybe it was contract related, or they just wanted something different??? i have no clue, in all honesty

overall, i love this generation. i still have to dive into the webseries lore, though (with the 2D animation). anyways, my favourite character from this generation is definitely mia, and my favourite ship is always mia x emma (miemma).

— generation 2

this is by far my favourite generation. i’m gonna be real, though… i used to not like it at all. i wasn’t a fan of the changes they made (this was when i was heavily into the first gen) and i thought the characters were “too different”

but now, i fight for the exact opposite of what i initially thought about girls on a mission. the animation change is great. the new voices are much more accurate both in terms of character and representation. the modern take on heartlake city is nice for modern times. and the characters personalities aren’t much different from the original… if anything, they’re more interesting. they stayed similar to their original designs and personalities, which is a good thing for fans who previously knew the main five in the previous generation. i’m always gonna defend olivia’s design change (because apparently, it’s a common theme that people are very upset about her new look). it’s easy to tell who is who, and they look different enough in terms of fashion style, too, lol. idk! i just really love the artistic expression within this gen

i like how they continued to have character problem focused episodes in goam. while they were a bit shorter, they were still nicely setup and nicely paced. it’s hard to pick a fav season, tbh. i really love season four because the mall and the fun faire are just beautiful to me. but i’ll forever love the go-kart arc of season one. i feel like they lost me a bit between seasons two and three, but i was not disappointed at all. 

in terms of characters, i would’ve loved to have seen the side characters in goam from the previous gen (specifically livi and tanya). i know, though, that it’s a reboot, and often in reboots, old characters aren’t included and new characters are introduced. that’s okay, though! we got iconic characters like vicky, savannah, camila and claire out of it! and i liked the inclusion of the boy characters within this season. i liked how ethan was the most prominent one for awhile, then it switched over to river.

i’ll forever be a defender of goam. i could write an essay fr. my favourite character from goam has fluctuated over time (going from mia to vicky to stephanie to andrea), but i’d say that andrea and mia are definitely my best girls from this gen. my favourite ships are tied between andrea x emma (andremma) and stephanie x mia (stephmia).

— generation 2.5

this generation confuses me so much. i don’t necessarily hate it. it just came at a time where i was really hoping for a goam season five. i feel it was a bit of a downgrade in terms of animation, and i fear it might be due to the criticisms of “girls on a mission doesn’t even look like lego media at all, the girls don’t look like legos”. i will say, though, that i’m not mad that heartlake stories exist, because it’s a nice closing to generation 2 and bridge into generation 3

i haven’t watched these episodes as much as i’ve watched the episodes of the two previous generations. i will say that at first watch, i don’t enjoy the voice changes as much as i do for goam. but maybe that’s where i just need to be open a bit more (also researching the actresses may help, i always love researching voice actors). the stories feel very close to the vibe of generation one, though, which i rly enjoy. and the new take on heartlake city feels cozy.

you can still tell which character is which. and i like the inclusion of side characters. from what i remember, i think the side characters were included a LOT more than side characters have ever been included in lego friends media.

i don’t have much to say about this generation, as i haven’t given it much thought, let alone much of a chance. i’d be happy with or without it, to be honest. but it was nice to have between goam and generation three. idk if i much of a change in my favourite character for this gen, probably still between mia and andrea, which is probably my favourite ship in this generation, too.

— generation 3

alright y’all, i have tons to say.

i’m OBSESSED with this generation, and it’s only november 2022 (meaning it hasn’t officially released yet, only officially announced).

everything about this generation is so exciting. i’m walking into this gen with an open mindset because i know this is the biggest change within the lego friends franchise, and it’s a change for the better. there has always been a debate on the mere existence of lego friends and how it forces (feminine) stereotypes. i find myself writing against these critiques, as i feel that the existence of lego friends is a positive thing! but now i’ll definitely be writing in favour of lego friends due to this new reboot.

i love love love how media is getting more diverse throughout the past few years. diversity should’ve been set from the start, not followed through a trend. but i’m glad it’s happening, especially even more past girls on a mission. i’m gonna say that i thought goam was pretty diverse already. they diversified the main cast and included many other unique characters within the antagonists, love interests, side characters, and even minor characters. we already had disabled rep in goam, but there’s even more to expect in the new generation, and i’m excited for that.

i’m especially excited for the rep of neurodivergence?!?! this is major. no, like, this is MAJOR. i already have a hunch that, if explicitly stated, liann and nova are very neurodivergent coded (based on their bios), but who knows. dude, they’re probably all neurodivergent. anyway

i’m glad the main five won’t be completely gone. i wonder about the other characters, but mia already appears in a (teased) set for the new generation. the fact that they said “the main five are all grown up” has me in shambles. like, wow. they really have because mia is apparently now a mother?? this is big, everybody.

i have a lot of hope for this generation. i love the inspirational stories around why they are rebooting lego friends, and i am very excited for the animated series. yeah, i’m gonna miss the goam animation style. but i already love the new friends and i can’t wait to get to know them. my favourites based off bios are definitely nova, liann, and paisley. and i’m really excited for the (possible ship) dynamic between aliya and autumn.

#lego #lego friends #heartlake city #girls on a mission #heartlake stories #rant

[dumpsterfireofsubtext]

was traipsing through ao3 today and marking for later a bunch of wn fics so i could close some tabs and noticed you did the wings of fire au and the 1930s au and first of all been loving both of them immensely

on wings of fire, day is often made a lot better by seeing that there’s a new wings of fire au update, second i really love how you write all the characters and their dynamics, esp beatrice & camila i’d say

something about how you write them both as individuals and their dynamics w others is so refreshing

on the 1930s au, i think it’s definitely one of the most interesting, refreshingly intriguing fics i’ve seen in a while, ava landscaper & novelist beatrice is 👀, esp since i feel like a lot of fics would’ve had them be the inverse (which obv there’s nothing wrong w that but a person just craves change once in a while)

the idea of novellist!beatrice has my whole fucking heart, i love the mental image of her being a broody lil writer. michael’s schrodinger mustache had me vv amused every time it was mentioned and also masc beatrice!!!! always love when beatrice is explicitly masc in fics, it’s just so 🫶🫶🫶🫶

lastly, and clearly the most important aspect, beatrice having a lil dog!!!! beatrice and her dog jonty!!!! beatrice w a dog is often always galaxy tier imo, but especially in this situation w the dog being named jonty, if i were ava i would’ve fallen in love the instant i found out beatrice named her dog jonty

broody writer beatrice & her dog jonty, it’s just too perfect to fit into words, it’s so adorable

speaking of which, do you view beatrice as generally being a dog person? me personally, while i agree that yeah, beatrice has cat energy, as people say, and while the preference between cats & dogs (or other animals) is minimal, she’s absolutely a bit more a dog person more than anything else, probably because of her cat energy personality

feel that it’s similar w ava, ava has dog energy (but not golden retriever energy ((not fully anyway))), but she’s an absolute cat person, because of her dog energy

First of all, THANK YOUUUUUUU oh my heart <333 I'm beyond grateful that you're liking both of those fics!!

Making Bea explicitly masc in my 30s AU was my TOP priority, I couldn't have her walking around in skirts and dresses. I simply Could Not. and honestly, though I do take into account fanon and stuff, mostly I'm writing from off the top of my dome!

I didn't think about how they could have been written inversely! I just think Bea fits being a novelist in the 30s, I'm following popular fandom since I want her to be a sci-fi writer, and Ava being a landscaper worked with how I wanted to portray her, and tbh I don't even remember where I got that idea from... I could have made Ava be anything,,, but I wanted her to be a bit all over the place, a bit ramshackle and messy, constantly covered in dirt. I didn't want to make her too close to what Jillian and Michael are like in the fic.

speaking of Michael,,, oh I have plans for him and it's going to be hilarious. Sneak peek: There'll be a bit of a frenemies thing going on with Michael and Bea.

When I was discussing dog names with my sister we kept coming back to Jonty because it made both of us laugh so hard so I'm glad you're liking it too haha !!

I love writing broody Bea, bcos underneath it all you know she's a softie, particularly through the way she cares for Jonty etc. And how she'll interact with Lilith etc in the coming chapters.

Idk about Bea being a dog person. I just think she's an animal person. I can see her in the 30s AU growing up with animals all around her. Like, that's the way her upper-class parents showed love-- through spending money on her. All the right lessons-- French, Latin, German etc. (Dancing and music lessons too). She probably had a few spaniels, cats, and maybe even a falcon as a child. And that's what kept her company in her childhood-- her books and her animals. But I agree with you about their energies. Absolutely Ava has dog energy and that's why she's gonna be BFFs with Jonty. Dogs just know these things.

Thank you for this ask! It made my day. I've been struggling a bit with the next chapter of the 30s AU since my wings of desire AU is taking up so much brain space atm, but you've inspired me to keep going so thank you <3333 I'll try my best to get an update on that this week or next :)

#jhfjdskhfjsk tyyyyyy ty ty #misieks asks #warrior nun #avatrice #fan fic related #warrior nun fanfic #1930s au #wings of desire au

[deedeli-liveblog]

 RWBY ReWatch notes, part 3: i guess I’m doing one of these for every volume 

I’m supposed to be making minor notes / commentary, cause this is just a rewatch I decided to do on a whim. But I guess I’m way too used to how I normally liveblog these days, since I actually have to stop myself from commenting like, every minute on bullshit things afkdjhkadkla

Anyway, Volume 3! My personal favorite, and the Volume where Everything Goes Wrong.

I love the creativity in the weapons in RWBY. There’s a lot of swords and guns and classic weaponry. But then there’s things like Oobleck’s thermos being a flamethrower, Coco’s purse being a blunt weapon and a minigun, and then Reese’s (from ABRN) hoverboard being a weapon in and of itself, that transforms into mini pistols.

Arlsan only had that one episode, but she was so cool in it.

I like that team RWBY’s strategy half the time is to just launch Yang at the enemy.

BIMBO!?!?! D:<

It’s pretty neat seeing the animation budget go up in every volume of early RWBY.

The whole time Nolan’s listening to the explanation about Nora’s semblance he’s still charging her up, alkfkjdashkjsf

Actually, can a person’s aura protect them from dying from an electrical shock, since that’s mostly internal??? Ren got poked for a few seconds and stiffened up and dropped. If Nora wasn’t immune that probably would have killed her.

Wait, are all of those cups in the bar Qrow’s?? Jesus, man.

Team SSSN needs to work on their... everything. That was a hot fucking mess, lmao.

Oh right, I forgot Winter and Qrow had a best nemesis thing going on. Wonder if that’ll come up in volume 8

“How appropriately... underwhelming.” Oh my god, Winter was such a bitch in her intro, I fucking forgot salkfhdkljal. 

The Ice Queen title has been passed down through the Schnee family for generations!

the subtitles specifically state that’s a crow cawing, but I prefer to think that that’s Raven, come to watch her daughter’s fight.

I can’t remember where, I think it was in my review for RWBY that I said the Qrow v Winter fight kind of sucked. I don’t think I elaborated on that, but rewatching it now? It’s not... bad. But this is a big battle between two incredibly skilled combatants but it just felt incredibly stiff. In a way that previous fights were not.

That being said, the soundtrack during that fight kicked ass.

hehe, get fucked Ironwood

Emerald and Mercury creepily stepping back into the tall grass behind them is actually really funny.

Mercury as a character has never really done much for me. I neither liked or disliked him too strongly. But god, is he an entertaining fighter. The fact that he mostly only uses his legs makes his movements seem so wild and all over the place, but he’s incredibly skilled too. 

Also, Yatsuhashi and Coco seems like a kind of unbalanced fighting team. They’re both heavy hitters, so they’re slower at times. Maybe it would’ve matched better to have Coco and Velvet or Yatsuhashi and Fox.

I was gonna say it’s cute that Qrow just carries that picture of his team with him, but then I noticed that he uses his thumb to cover Raven’s face when Yang starts staring at her.

Oh yeah, I don’t think we ever found out what Penny’s plan was that would allow her to stay at Beacon. I figure by now it was just a red herring so you wouldn’t think that she’d die this volume.

Oh my god, Team FNKI!! >:D

The battle with FNKI is one of my favorites because it introduces two really fun and unique characters and the soundtrack during it is kickass, with having jazz renditions of the opening and Yang’s theme in it.

Also, Flynt’s semblance is the third one that we’ve seen where’s it’s someone making a clone of themself (Blake and Sun’s being the other two), and it’s cool to see the variance in a similar ability. Blake can only do one and it (initially) cannot move, only sit there and take a hit for her. Sun’s are completely mobile, but he can only make two at a time (it seems) and they disappear after a single hit. Flynn’s are mobile, but it looks like they can only copy his own movements, at a slight delay. So attacking one moves all of them.

“The Tale of the Two Brothers” is clearly about the Brothers, the two gods that created Humanity and the Grimm, “The Girl in the Tower” is very likely about Salem before her fall (if I’m remembering that correctly), but I’m not sure what “The Shallow Sea” could be about. I suppose we haven’t gotten that far yet.

“Sorry we’re late” he says, after such convenient timing.

alkdshkahkf i bet Ruby was regretting that “Break a leg!” after the match.

Emerald’s pistols are different in the past. Maybe Cinder taught her to fight better and got her better weapons? I had always wondered why Emerald would be so devoted to Cinder. I know Cinder helped pull her out of poverty, but it didn’t look like Emerald was struggling too much when Cinder found her that she’d devote herself fully to Cinder. I suppose she could just be in love with Cinder, but I’m even more confused if that’s the case, lmao.

it’s weird to offer a little girl who fell off her bike an apple, afkdhfkaf. i don’t think she’s hungry, i think she’s in pain

Love Qrow giving the advice that “sometimes bad things just happen” as if that isn’t his whole life

Yikes, I forgot about the scene where Pyrrha accidently attacks Jaune. 

Ruby has some serious binocular vision if she was able to spot Emerald clear across the stadium like that.

So if Penny had never participated in the tournament, or if Cinder never found out she was a robot, what was Cinder’s plan to create the uproar that lures the Grimm?  Like, was the plan always to have one student accidentally kill another? And Pyrrha and Penny just so happened to make it easy?

if ruby is molecules when she’s using her semblance, how is mercury able to kick her

rip penny (but not for long!)

I’ve got such a love-hate thing going on for Ironwood. Like, obviously his actions suck most of the time, but his motivations and character are so well developed and consistent. I hate what he does, but I understand why he does it. He falls into the same category as Raven does for me.

also, he’s just really bad ass when he fights, lmao. tearing up the ground with his hand, slamming the beowulf one handed, and shooting it in the head with it draped over his back? *chefs kiss*

uggghhh i forgot rewatching rwby from the beginning means i have to subject myself to adam again. my face twisted in disgust at his “hello, my darling” GROSS

I LOVE the scene with Velvet using her weapon, it’s such a great moment. But it’s actually really funny when you think about it cause they had multiple people with different weapons and they all couldn’t take down one Atlesian knight. But a single girl with multiple weapons could, lol. They just needed someone to kick in the cool music so they could win.

rip clownie

Damn, I forgot that Ironwood’s robot half is for that entire half of his body. What in the hell did that to him and how the hell did he survive.

rip amber

rip yang’s arm

My only solace is the knowledge that adam does in fact die in the future. Clinging onto that thought like a prayer everytime he opens his mouth.

You know it’s bad when Sun calls someone else an idiot.

RIP Pyrrha. It’s so hard to watch the fight between her and Cinder knowing what her fate is.

rip cinder’s left side, i guess, i still don’t know what actually happens here

So I’m gonna take a guess and assume Tai never explained to Ruby about her silver eye powers because he didn’t want her to use it and end up becoming a target like, I assume, Summer was.

The dirty look Tai gives Qrow is kind of funny and I don’t know why.

Hey, Qrow’s picked up a bit of Oz’s manipulative spirit.

The scene of Tai happily walking into Ruby’s empty room only to drop her food and run out is soooo sad, please just let this man rest.

"The ability to derive strength from hope is undoubtedly mankind’s greatest attribute. I will focus all of my power... to snuff it out.” The emotional whiplash here is just beautiful. The whole reveal of Salem as not just the narrator from the beginning, but THE villain of the series is fantastic.

The end of Volume 3 certainly feels like the end of a chapter, and I suppose it truly is. From here on out, RWBY feels like an entirely different show, for better or worse. We no longer have the fun, low stakes, almost slice-of-life style episodes. The show becomes far more plot heavy and focused. While there’s a lot I like about the later volumes of RWBY, I will say that I do severely miss what RWBY was before.

Anyway, onward to Volume 4

#RWBY #RWBY liveblog #liveblog #RWBY rewatch

[writingforfun0714]

Hi everyone,

Sorry it’s been so long, I’ve been having some writers block. I’ve been trying to work on the block by drawing some fanart that I’ll post on my main @mabrego0714

Here are my WIPs I’m working on IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER so comment/reblog if you have a preference:

—Arcane Sisters of Mine fic Chapter 5

—Bad Batch AU—Jedi OC

—Game of Thrones/Jungle Book crossover

—Clone Wars Clone One-Shots (Day in the Life Of series, Shinies, etc)

—Delta Squad Reader Insert fic

I actually started getting writers block around the midpoint of Ahsoka. I hadn’t really had high hopes but it really fell short for me. I won’t get into it in this post, but because of my dissatisfaction with the show, my faith in Disney Star Wars has fallen. While I did think Rebels was more ‘kid-oriented’ at first, I didn’t hate it and I even grew to love it as a young adult (iirc Rebels is Disney’s first SW content). The Sequel trilogy should’ve been a wake up call.

Then, Clone Wars Season 7 was announced. I thought the animation was beautiful (aside from the horrendous clone model), and the soundtrack/music is incredible. That being said, I have some major problems with the story(ies). I liked the ideas but not the execution.

The Bad Batch’s intro is a perfect example.

It’s clear that the group is quite different in CW S7 than in their own show (which I won’t get into rn since those that have seen my previous posts know I hate tbb). In TCW, they are introduced as a unique clone squad that all have enhanced senses. They are shown to be disobedient and disconnected from the other clones, which makes absolutely no sense. They appear different to the ‘regular’ clones who have a derogatory nickname of ‘regs’. Their mission is to save a ‘reg’ clone who we (the audience) thought was dead: ARC Trooper Echo.

We see Rex’s loyalty to his men through his faith that Echo is alive. Despite being clones, Rex KNOWS the sound of Echo’s voice because of how long he’s served with him. Because of their prejudices, The Batch is skeptical and Crosshair, the sniper, even taunts Rex about Echo’s death. Despite being in the wrong, Wrecker, CF99’s weapons expert and largest of the group, defends Crosshair and attacks Jesse for defending Rex. That clearly set up a good group character arc of learning that all clones are brothers, not just the ones closest to you. At the end of Echo’s story, we learn that CF99 offers him to join the squad and he accepts (despite the group looking down on Echo and judging him once rescuing him).

We don’t learn until TBB that what little progress, if any, towards having a good relationship with clones is gone.

Next we learn about where Ahsoka’s been since walking away from The Jedi Order. It’s assumed she’s been hiding on the lower levels of Coruscant surviving. Her story opens with her speeder bike dying and her falling onto a garage platform belonging to the Martez sisters. Lots of people dislike the Martez sisters story arc due to their attitudes and behaviors. While I don’t hate them like a lot in the fandom seem to, they aren’t my favorite characters and I thought there were a lot of better stories that could’ve been told with Ahsoka.

That brings me to Ahsoka’s character. I get that people change over time and she was obviously still hurt by the Jedi Order, specifically the Council, but I didn’t like how easily she partnered with Bo Katan in the finale and sided with her cause given Bo’s history. She easily dismissed her relationship with Anakin (and Rex to an extent) despite her recognizing everything he did for her. But other than that, I loved Ahsoka meeting/fighting Darth Maul and the O66 moment for her and Rex was so tragic.

I loved the clones but I thought one person would’ve made it next level good: Kix, the 501st medic. I know in Legends he was frozen in carbonite/hypersleep or something and was woken up by pirates about 50-60yrs later, making him the last clone since the others have accelerated aging (aside from Boba/Omega). But I would’ve loved to see Kix either with Ahsoka and her 501st half or at least mentioned about being with Anakin and his 501st half.

So while I generally enjoy CW S7, I definitely prefer making my own interpretation and looking at fan-made art/stories.

Because I enjoyed the animation and music of CW S7, I was excited to see another show that has the same animation about clones: The Bad Batch. This is definitely one of those shows that has great ideas but the execution actually hurts it. They are shown to have lighter skin than the rest of the darker ‘regular’ clones and they all think they are superior to the other clones but especially Crosshair. Again, I won’t get into it, but TBB is a dumpster fire of racism and horrible story telling.

I definitely prefer the live action shows, but even then it’s hit or miss. Like I said, OWK and Ahsoka fell short for me. However I love Andor, Mando and TBoBF.

Which finally brings me to the upcoming Star Wars content animated and live action. SPOILERS—YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

First, the Mandalorian movie. I’m more hesitant about this movie despite my love for the show but that’s mostly because of Ahsoka. I didn’t like how Ahsoka was handled and because it left on a cliff hanger, I’m sure it’ll tie into the Mandalorian movie with Thrawn probably taking the role of the villain. I don’t think I really have any expectations other than it’s not bad, though Felony will helm the project so I’m not holding my breath.

Second, the Rey Skywalker movie. I definitely think Disney knows how badly they messed up with the sequel trilogy and will try and redeem Rey’s character. I think it’s an interesting premise. She knows Luke, who had a failed Jedi school, and she chooses to do the same, knowing it could fail like Luke’s but chooses to do it anyway. I’d love for this movie to show a new villain instead of Palpatine/Sith. I could see more Dark Jedi or even Night Sister magic being the main conflict instead.

Next, the James Mangold Star Wars movie. Supposedly it’s set thousands of years in the past and will focus on the first Jedi. I think that’s an interesting topic and a great chance to form new ideas as well as bring in Legends/EU content. However, with the mixed reviews of Indiana Jones 5, I’m tempering my expectations accordingly.

I know Taika Waititi has a Star Wars movie coming out as well but idk anything about it other than he wants to have original characters (which I think is good).

I think Shawn Levy has a Star Wars movie coming but again, no details about it since he’s been busy with Stranger Things S5 and Deadpool 3.

I believe Rian Johnson also has a trilogy set in a new place the lore has never explored before but I don’t think this trilogy is coming any time soon.

I believe that’s it for movies so over all I’m hesitant, but that’s because I need more info.

Now for the shows. I’ll start with the new ones.

Lando will obviously focus on Lando Calrissian played by Donald Glover. There’s no info about any idea of when the series will take place but I kinda hope it’s like right before the sequel trilogy.

Skeleton Crew has a good concept of a Jedi in hiding finding 4 Jedi kids and as long as it doesn’t get too family friendly and the writing is good I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. I’ve always thought this was the story they should’ve told with the Jedi Younglings in TCW arc.

The Acolyte is about the growing dark-side powers in the final days of the High Republic era (~200yrs before TPM). It seems like a noir-detective style show (like AotC) with a Master/Padawan duo investigating a series of crimes. It seems pretty cool and I’m excited for it.

I’m hoping Mandalorian S4 will be better than S3. I really want Din to call Grogu his son. Not his kid, not his boy, but his SON. SAY IT.

Definitely looking forward to Andor S2 the most. I thought Andor was slow at first and a bit complicated due to how many characters are introduced, but I loved the story and the actors had the passion that made their roles believable.

I could not care less about The Bad Batch S3. No matter what happens, I definitely prefer fandom ideas/my own headcanons. I MIGHT binge watch the season once all eps are out but I will NOT be watching on episode release days.

That brings me to the planned animated Clone Rebellion show. I’m assuming it’ll be the same CW style set after TBB S3 and focus on Rex (and possibly Wolffe+Gregor) which leads me to believe we won’t get much in the way of the clone rebellion in TBB S3. If this show uses the same damn clone model I will cut out Disney Star Wars. I don’t mind making my own stories/AU’s/etc, but Disney in general is on thin ice as it is.

Thanks for letting me get all that out. This is basically why I haven’t been writing. I’ve been pretty disappointed with Disney as of late due to their horrible live action remakes, mid-level animated movies like Elemental, Strange World, Lightyear and mediocre SW content.

If you’ve made it through this whole post, thank you for your time and I promise I will post something soon.

-Maisy💙

#Star Wars #disney #fuck disney #Dave felony #fuck Dave #progress update #sw #thoughts #my thoughts #Star Wars spoilers #thanks for being patient

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

So this could be the reason why TC forgot everything and now with Misfits. Because it's away from Klipse and Jeredy. Anyway, but yeah, he's shy smart mystic kid, sounds like Beyal, yeah. Imagine if Klipse and Jeredy were sitting in this lab where TC was rescued from and when that happened just :/ Also, Kage behaves like Chase, but his look, it's really chibi Dom, but with blue/purple colour theme. Also, g2 bakugan was also made by Man of Action, who made monsuno, and main character Dan is... Chibi Six with hair.Or at least his outfit looks like Six's cause animation is veeery different. Also, Dan's dad looks like Jeredy.

I prefer TC to be like a relative to Beyal because Beyal won’t disappoint me in the family department as much Jeredy and Klipse would’ve. And really, if Klipse losses most of his clones, then do you expect me to think that him and Jeredy would not lose TC or do something to him? They can’t even parent properly.

So Kage does look like a chibi Dom and act like Chase, but I still don’t like the idea of pairing them together. Mostly, and personally for me, it’s just because Chase shouldn’t have more than one relations with the Klipse family after the fiasco that is Six. Sorry, but as much as I adore Six, the show really said ‘Let’s have a disaster of a family tree’ with those two and end their relationship with Six being in STORM custody. Kage would be a good addition to the Klipse family though.

Do you think Man of Action has a part in this generation of Bakugan or no? Because if so, that adds more fuel to why we can see the similarities between the shows. And yes, this g2 Dan does look a bit like Six, but it’s just the jacket and color scheme. Still, that’s nice. But considering how this Dan’s dad seems like a good parent, well, it’s only good for him to be compared to Jeredy by looks and nothing else.

#monsuno #bakugan

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Biweekly Media Roundup

- Trigun (Anime) - Still obsessing over Trigun and Knives specifically. Can’t believe how much I like this patronizing genocidal asshole. That’s good characterization baby.

- Lackadaisy (Webseries) - I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, just that it was a very well made and pretty intro to what I remember being a pretty compelling web series. The designs of the cats and how much personality each exudes is incredible. 

- The Super Mario Bros Movie (Movie) - The reviews of this seem pretty mixed, but personally I liked it quite a bit. No, it’s not some mind blowing cinematic masterpiece, but for what it is, a kid friendly movie introducing the basic Mario story, it’s honestly much better than I was expecting-especially considering Illuminations previous output. You can tell it’s made by people who love the series, not only with the level of references but also in just the details of how the characters move or how the backgrounds and world are rendered. It’s quite pretty, with the character models looking adorable and the backgrounds full of color. Bowser was a standout of course, both in Jack Blacks vocal performance and the way they incorporated his mannerisms into the character model. I loved the brothers relationship and how affectionate they were with each other. It also had a few pretty solid jokes. I do wish it had been longer, as the scenes went by too fast for any emotional moment to take root, but again if you think of it as a set up of what’s bound to be a franchise of Galaxy, Luigi’s Mansion, or Odessy sequels, then it’s a pretty good “first episode” so to speak. 

- Bocchi the Rock (Anime) - My first venture into binging all the yuri-esque shows I missed from last year, Bocchi was indeed pretty solid. They made the protagonist uncomfortably relatable in her brand of social awkwardness which made for some emotional moments as well as big oof jokes. The cut away gags experimenting with different animation were fun, I did quite like the music and performances, and the character dynamics were pretty good, I’ll watch a 2nd season if it gets one. I’m not sure I’d go as far as calling it anime of the year, the ending didn’t really leave off like a complete story and plot wise it didn’t really have much going on, but as a nice slice of life comedy it’s definitely worth the watch. As a character Bocchi is great, but hopefully a s2 will explore a bit more of the other band members, who weren’t generic characters by any means but didn’t really get much screentime.

- Dr, Stone (Anime) - Hey we are back! New guy seems fun, I still adore Senku as a protagonist, and I’m interested to see how they plan to balance so many characters moving forward. Hope we see more flashbacks of the fantastic dad/son relationship, it’s honestly one of my favorites from any media I’ve seen. 

- Buddy Daddies (Anime) - While the ending surprised me in it’s conclusively (I did not expect a future epilogue to be canonized) overall I’d say it was a good decision. I’d say this was a solid C+, B-, it was good at being the cute little parenting comedy it wanted to be with some fun moments and solid animation but wasn’t particularly memorable in terms of plot or characters-like, I like all the leads, but I don’t see them topping any end of the year favorite lists. I will say that I’m surprised at how platonic they kept the fathers, I hadn’t expected them to get together but I did expect a lot more ship bait than we got. They work fine as a ship but the series really did focus a lot more on the child rearing aspects which came as a surprise considering how often marketing wants to tease mlm relationships for profit. I guess I appreciate it as I prefer giving visibility to more platonic relationships and unusual family structures to queerbaiting with no delivery but also there’s so few genuinely good mlm anime that it would’ve been nice for them to just have them be a couple. I did have a fun time with this, I’d recommend it if you are into the raising children genre. 

- Campfire Cooking in Another World (Anime) - Follow some people who had suggested this as a fun, relaxing little cooking anime and yeah, that checks out so far. Just a very cute and wholesome little feel good series about a man feeding his giant God level talking dog and baby slime child-As a domestic monster appreciator this is checking my boxes pretty well.  

- The Locked Tomb Series (Books) - Almost done with Gideon the Ninth, once again I’m really enjoying these characters and their dynamics, as well as the general space necromancy mystery plotline. I’m listening to the audiobook at the moment, but I’ll likely buy the physical copies as there are a lot of excellent quotes in here that I would like easier access to revisit. Anyway, Gideon and Harrow are the toxic co-dependent love hate lesbian ship I’ve needed in my life since my catradora hyperfixation. 

- Resident Evil 4 (Video Game) - Played till around chapter 6 so far with my friends and honestly, it’s really good. They keep all the fun stuff from the original but make it high res, I love seeing Leon and Ada and Luis and the Merchant again. It’s hard to get everyone together to play but I’m excited about getting to experience it again, got some great childhood memories of hanging with the girls and laughing at all the strange zombie noises they chose to include.

As usual I’m also keeping up with The Greatest Estate Developer, Land of the Lustrous, The Vampire Dies In No Time, and The S Classes that I raised.

Listening to: Nothing is Going Right by Meiyo, Eat Your Young by Hozier, Achilles Come Down cover by Annapantsu, Stalker’s Tango by Autoheart, Ship in a Bottle by fin, I Hate Everything But You and I’ve Always Never Believed in You from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, They’re Only Human from the Death Note Musical, Counting Bodies Like Sheep by A Perfect Circle, Kickback by Kenshi Yonezu, My Kind by Hilary Duff, Hallelujah cover by Pentatonix

#weekly roundup #My posts

[hachichimitsu2]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE SOUTH PARK: THE RETURN OF COVID SPECIAL

When the special started off with Stan and Kyle playing catch together, I knew I was up for a ride. 😎

First things first, I weirdly feel like the intro of this special should’ve been the intro for the first parter. It would make for a nice transition from the status quo of pre-covid to the future now, and the Heather William element of the story would tie seamlessly with the end of the second special. The Heather Williams factor in the story felt like it was a last-minute decision for plot convenience. But then again, Stan’s tragic backstory would’ve just been laid out in front of us instead of it being a depressing reveal, so I guess it would be hard to write around that.

I do prefer the first special moreso than the second in terms of pacing and flow. For all things considered, I LIKE the fact that they didn’t try to stop COVID in the end, but only their outlook on the entire pandemic, which I feel is a much needed message we need in our current state of the world. The time travel aspect of the second special was a lot shorter than I expected, and felt like it should’ve been expounded upon more. I wanted the reconciliation of the broship to be more…resonant I guess? Just one precedented time is able to help the boys reunite, but I feel like their problems grow much deeper than that, so just sticking on a band-aid won’t really help it much. Maybe we’ll still see them at a rockier footing in the new season, who knows? Still, the resolution felt really fast. I’m just hoping we’ll get a lot more Main 4 interactions hence forth.

The character animation is well-done, perhaps even more so than the last special. Tweek’s stance when he screamed, Token’s action scene, Alexa’s rampage on Kyle? They were all so well-animated! I really have to give props to the animation and production crew, especially given how they did everything remotely.

I actually liked the Alexa gag, even if it doesn’t fit in the special tonally. It’s like a repeated big-lipped alligator moment. I was wondering WHY Stan kept asking to see the deals and specials from the first special especially during socially inappropriate moments, so knowing that he’s doing that to prevent his Alexa from going batshit insane is actually funny. I also like Kyle just being…concerned and scared the whole time 😭

Omg I KNEW Butters was gonna introduce us with a “Hey fellas!” However, NONE of us could have ever predicted that he would become an NFT investor. I’m sooooo glad that Matt and Trey didn’t pull any punches in regards to NFTs and cryptocurrency. I was lowkey worried that they would take a neutral stance in this subject matter, but I’m glad to see that’s not the case.

Butters’s design is also still…..CUTE. Like he’s still adorable with his voice and mannerisms. I can’t help but laugh at how Butters still pees the same way. I definitely dont think Butters is OOC considering we had “Butters Bottom Bitch”. Butters can be a convincing, competent salesman when he’s up to the task. He’s almost like Cartman in a sense, which I find to be REALLY interesting. The Cartman / Butters interactions are just like the old days 😭

Kevin being the lovable nerd that he is. I’m actually really surprised to see his appearance 😯

I was curious on where Ike was, and I’m glad he’s looking as Canadian as ever. He also has a “Canadian” accent now 🤣

I really wish we had more Creek moments, but it’s fine 😭 They’re still cute.

Also more great Clyde moments. Clyde still being a great representation on how anti-vaxxers halt our progression to move forward in the pandemic. Even as an adult, he still sides with Cartman as always.

Also, adult Clyde mentioned that someone told him not to get the vaccine because it’ll grow titties on his head. Was that person “himself”? Is the timeline really as connected as we speculate? Is this a huge significance that we may be overlooking?

The Stan and Randy talk was really heartfelt. Everything with the staging, cinematography, music and dialogue. It was great, sprinkled in with some humor. Randy pretending to be dead in the end is so funny.

I still can’t believe that in EVERY single timeline, Randy fucks the pangolin. I really really wanted the weed to have SOME type of significance to the time travel, but it was just so Kenny gets to be high. I don’t know if that was intentional because they really set it up to be this huge thing.

Unrelated topic but Kenny went back in time successfully, right? What….happened exactly? What happened to the timeline he went back to? Did he try to get the broship together? Why did he come back? Was it because his efforts were unsuccessful? Why didn’t we see MORE of him? You’d think he’d have a bigger role in this just like the first special 😭 Was Kenny immune to Butters’s NFT escapades? I like to think that only he can withstand Butters’s convincing pitches, which is why they work great together.

Now for the ending. If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not really a huge fan of fixed future endings. I like open-ending scenarios where we fill in the gaps ourselves and was surprised that Trey and Matt went with this route. It honestly felt a bit “too satisfying”, almost like a weird fever dream. It doesn’t feel all too real.

I have a really hard time believing that Cartman would end up homeless. I’m not a Cartman enthusiast, and he definitely deserves his just desserts, but the idea of him being homeless and not having ANYTHING going on with his life is really, really hard to believe. It just feels…off. You’re telling me that the kid who has successfully rallied up citizens, opened numerous successful business ventures and has a way with manipulating people to get what he wants ends up homeless without any direction in life? It seems more like a “ha-ha” mean-spirited type of ending rather than something more realistic.

So apparently, Cartman’s love for his family is real. I’m not really sure what to think about this, but Cartman reverting back to his old ways after coming back to South Park is an interesting concept. However, I hate how it subliminally insinuates that he only becomes like this because of Kyle. Kyle didn’t make Cartman the monster that he is. It’s all internally motivated. Cartman’s perfectly capable of change, it’s just that he doesn’t want to out of his own pride, ego and greed. I wish they rewrote it in a way that goes a whole lot deeper than that, instead of Kyle being the sole reason. (Though I feel like they added that bit solely as a joke).

I also don’t think Yentl is Kyle’s wife, because they would’ve shown her at that point, especially to drive in the nail that Kyle got everything he deserves and “Cartman didn’t”. But them not showing Kyle’s wife is something that makes me ponder. Why didn’t they show her? Are they divorced? Did Kyle adopt those kids as an only-dad? Like sure they have red-hair, but it’s darker than his. Or is he actually a surrogate father? M-preg? It’s like they made this intentionally ambiguous for me, and I find it funny how this is the only aspect of the future that remains open-ended.

I actually like Stendy. Not as strong as Style or my other ships, but it’s not a ship that I dislike. It’s not my endgame ship for sure, but whenever I watch South Park I’m always mentally preparing myself that they might become endgame one of these days. (Side note: Watching Guitar Queero (the gayest breakup and reconciliation in media) only for The List to happen afterwards made me extremely vigilant on this manner ☠️) I’m glad that they didn’t end up married and with kids, and are just two adults “chasing their dreams”. It just seems like a mature way to portray it. They made their part sort of ambiguous in the end, so I’m also perfectly happy with the idea that they’re just really close, platonic friends. The idea of Stendy still being on / off is also a possibility, considering that aligning space missions with Wendy’s line of work must be difficult, but eh. No matter the outcome, as long as Stan is happy, I’m well content.

By the way, I’m going to ramble about Style in a delusional, totally bogus way from here on out for my own self-indulgent fantasies, so feel free to skip! This shouldn’t be taken seriously like…at all! You have been warned.

I’m SOOOOOO happy with all the Style moments we got in this special.

I already mentioned how seeing them play together in the intro has already gotten me hyped. I’m such a mess. All those Alexa cutscenes are just so hilarious with Stan trying to bypass everything and Kyle growing more and more concerned. I’m sure at the back of his mind, he’s like “Is that how he sees himself as?” I think it’s interesting how their Alexas were talking about the two of them. Like, talking about what exactly? Does Stan vent to his Alexa about Kyle? ☠️ What could he have possibly told his Alexa that made Kyle’s Alexa hate him? And not to mention, Kyle’s Alexa told him about his liver, which is 🤨. Is Kyle asking his Alexa information about Stan. Is he that concerned for him? It’s EXTRA significant when Kyle starts acting “differently” to Stan after getting his Alexa.

Kyle really does try to show that he enjoys having Stan around like showing that he’s using the Alexa Stan bought for him, but obviously it comes off sort of forced 😭 Him trying to instill a “We just have to be positive” attitude only for Stan to be like “Dude, seriously?” is something I wish was delved a bit more. I really wanted a long discussion between the two about the status of their relationship since they still brush everything off with either a detached sense of fake positivity (Kyle) or drinking his sorrows away (Stan) instead of actually communicating. It still seems like they are afraid to really have a heart-to-heart talk about confronting their issues directly. I love me my angst, but I wished we got MORE. Maybe in the newer seasons? If not, more cute, super-best-friend moments, thank you.

Stan and Kyle summoning for their Alexas will ALWAYS be badass. It’s been such a while seeing Stan and Kyle just working as a team 😭

I like how the bridge scene really solidifies how it’s STAN AND KYLE that suffers greatly from the broship breakup. Cartman and Kenny still lead good lives in their timeline, but Stan and Kyle were the only ones leaving empty. I love how it still shows that they REALLY need each other in their lives no matter what in order to move on and have a happy future. If that isn’t poetic, I don’t know what is.

Taking off my Style goggles for a sec, I’m fine with Stendy being “canon” since it doesn’t hinder with my personal headcanon that Style still happens later on in life as a late-bloomer gay realization type of thing. Honestly you can wave any non-Style canon pairing in my face and it STILL won’t hinder with my Style endgame headcanons. I’ll always find a way to make it Style, and despite always taking truth to canon, this is the only aspect of South Park where I project things for my own personal enjoyment 😂 All things considered, I’m still happy that Kyle sees Stan as family and an important person to his kids, if the “Uncle Stan” wasn’t indicative enough. No matter what happens, Stan and Kyle will always be an important figure in each other’s lives and it’s really sweet! 😭

As for my headcanons, I personally like to think that Kyle is divorced and only married someone and had kids because he knew Stan and Wendy are still a “thing” and thought he definitely doesn’t have a chance with him. The thing is both of them are really oblivious to their own feelings toward each other, which is why it takes them this long. They realize their feelings for each other eventually and get together and are thriving with their cute little family. Kids still call him “Uncle” by accident, but they love him as a kind, supportive father. Kyle is always waiting for him to return home safely during his missions. They have a nice, balanced life. This is it. My coping mechanism. 😭

Style goggles off.

I’m curious as to how they’re going to progress with the seasons this way, especially since we now know the “true ending”. I cant help but feel like Matt and Trey wrote themselves into a corner UNLESS the “true ending” isn’t true at all 🤔 I’m anticipating how things will continue on from here on out.

I’ll be rewatching this in a bit, and update some new things I can find, but that’s the jist of all my thoughts for now. Lemme know if you agree or disagree 👀

#south park #sp spoilers #sp style #south park: the return of covid #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #butters stotch #hachichiposts #long post

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

#Steven Universe #Steven Universe Future #SU Analysis #(I guess????) #Music #Steven Quartz Universe #Amethyst #Garnet #Pearl #Yellow Diamond #Blue Diamond #Blue Pearl #Yellow Pearl #Greg Universe #Bismuth #Spinel #Lapis Lazuli #Steg #Opal #Rose Quartz #Lars Barriga #Sadie Miller #Sapphire #Ruby #Stevonnie #Falc talks

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

&

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas? 

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would 

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3? 

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves. 

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step 

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened? 

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.  

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered 

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #xoxo droplets #lake of voices #ask #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #gb patch #gb patch games

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

#darren criss #billboard #masquerade ep #press #sept 2021

[momoliee]

It’s probably too early for The Meta No One Asked For That I’m Gonna Write Anyway about XQC, alas…here we go

Dr. Xie Qingcheng, 32, male, straight (so far), 180 cm with only one current family member.

Xqc is introduced as a cold, aloof and apathetic retired doctor who has no passions, cares about nothing except for his sister, and unless he’s angry, you can barely get an emotional response out of him.

Through meatbun’s character notes on how he has no favorite food, no favorite color or animal, no personal preferences outside what’s most practical and how he’s very very responsible and rules abiding and honest and sober and serious, and through he yu’s POV that continuously paints him as this heartless cold blooded person, I dare say we were…deceived by this so far shades of gray picture we had of him.

Xqc was born into a finically stable middle class family consisting of two cops for parents and a younger sister that came into the world 8 years after him. When he turned 13, and his sister was only 5 at that time, his parents were fired from their job due to a case they shouldn’t have been investigating going wrong, and they had to move to a rural area. Not long after that, he witnessed both his parents’ deaths and saw their corpses with his own eyes, the site was bloody and there’s no way it didn’t traumatize a pre-teen like him. He then was tasked with taking care of his sister, becoming a doctor despite not wanting to, owing others favors and spending all his money on smth that’s yet to be revealed instead of enjoying it. He got married, not to a woman he loves but to someone whom he thought of as “suitable and appropriate”, got cheated on and went through a divorce before losing full interest in the marriage life. He was finally able to retire (we don’t know why yet) and live a quiet, normal, boring life.

I believe xqc loved his parents, I believe he loved them so much cause in chapter 20, he mentions how he thought he wouldnt be able to live past the grief, he wouldn’t be able to go on or move forward, how the grief completely overtook him. He also mentions how he used to play with knots and handcuffs when he was a child, which shows how close he was to them. So for a child who had a good stable life with two loving parents to suddenly fall from a class to a class, suddenly lose both parents and see their corpses with his own eyes, that must’ve fucked him up big time. I’m talking “when can I fully register all of this” kind of fucked up. But he didn’t have time to fully absorb all of this, didnt have the time to sit down and cry, he had a sister, she was only 5, where will they get the money from? What were they gonna do? How was he going to continue school while caring for her? He didn’t have the time to sit down and grief, to sit down and adjust. For a child who had a normal life and didn’t have to worry much about the money like every other middle class kid, he was suddenly burdened with poverty AND loss, and duty and responsibility. Good bye to the days of playing with handcuffs and knots huh?

You ask me, why does xqc not have a favorite food? I answer you, because many many nights, he didn’t know what to feed his sister, much less himself. Cause I bet that many nights, he would have to give up his portion for Xie Xue, to make sure a kid like her is full. Cause he couldn’t afford to be picky, couldn’t afford to choose; whatever was edible will be eaten, taste and flavor be damned. He had to start working from a young age, balance school, babysitting and working all at once. The last friend he made (I think) was that Chen Man guy whose parents were friends with his parents, back when they were alive and life was good. He didn’t have time to make friends, or go out, or have a favorite color or visit the zoo and decide on a favorite animal. No, he had to study, and study hard to become more financially stable and support Xie Xue, he had to raise his baby sister and protect her, he had to work or else how will he put food on their table? Yet he never lost his soft kind heart, cause when his sister asked for a laptop, he bought her one just so that she wouldn’t feel less than any of the other children.

Xqc had to SURVIVE, he had to make do with what he had and what he didn’t have. He didn’t have time to sit down and cry or process his trauma, didn’t even have time to think of adolescent love or his youthful days or do what kids his age did. And all of that carried forward into his adult life. He pushed his emotions back so hard and had his practical, business like mind take care of everything in order to make it through the days. He started to believe that passionate emotions such as love and hate and lust and desire were all a waste of time, a distraction from his duties, smth that will rock the delicate balance he created with his everyday busy schedule. Emotions will stunt you, emotions will delay you, crying and not going to work today means no food to feed his hungry sister with. That’s when he started thinking, strong emotions are a DISEASE, they will take up your time, cloud your judgement, have you make reckless decisions that you’ll regret later. And he couldn’t afford any of that right? Strong emotions are for the weak, they put you in crutches and disable you from moving forward. Wasnt that what he told his ex wife? If he had submitted himself to his grief back then, where would his sister be? Where would he be? How could they have grown up to be healthy and successful adults?

So this man taught himself practicality and duty and priorities. He stopped thinking about himself, about what he wants and what he feels, and instead started making sure that those around him are happy and content and safe and well taken care of. He no longer had desires or passions, he only had rules and regulations. If a person lost their sense of taste, would they still want chocolates and burgers? Would they still have cravings and foods they’d rather swallow medicine than eat? No. If so, how will they decide on what to eat every day? They’ll simply start following a “perfect nutritional plan” and “balanced diet”. They’d eat what they have to eat, when they have to eat, and in the exact portion they need. To them eating would be another chore they have to do every day to keep their bodies going. Similarly, with xqc, graduating, working, marrying, taking care of his sister and auntie, these all became “tasks” and “chores” that he had to abide by and follow. They became the dietary plan for his life till he dies, the outline he shall follow, the textbook rules he will carry out, no need to think of what he “wants” or “desires”, what will make him “happy” or bring him “joy”. He no longer listened to his emotions when making decisions. Even when marrying his ex wife, he married her cause she was “a suitable match”, not for her looks or personality or anything. Feelings are life’s taste buds, and once you remove them, everything becomes tasteless and mundane, and practicality/logic takes over. He stopped knowing what it felt like to choose based on your preferences, cause he stopped having the luxury of choice ever since that night when he was 13, and he no longer was able to re-teach himself the meaning of free will and choice.

So when he yu, in chapter 20, asked him how he would’ve acted if Xie Xue had died, and he said, “I would’ve continued living as I am today till my last breath,” he wasn’t being “cold” or “heartless” or “indifferent” as he yu likes to say. He was being practical and methodical and thinking with a logical approach, rather than an emotional one, just the way he taught himself to throughout all these years. His almost 2 decades of pure survival mode and severely repressed feelings spoke in the form of autopilot. “I would do what I have to do, what I’ve always done every day of my life so far cause what choice do I have?” Is what he meant to say.

But I believe that he’s a soft hearted, kind and loving person. He never says no his sister, never says no to his auntie, helped that homeless man as best as he could, taught he yu that he was normal and that he wasn’t a monster, believed in treating his patients with words instead of medicine prescriptions, believed that the mentally ill deserve to live normally instead of being locked up. I believe that underneath all the shit he has buried, there’s a lot of passion and love that’s been kept dormant for 19 years.

In conclusion, idk where meatbun is gonna take his character but I genuinely hope he gets to heal, and start having more color and flavor in his life. Start allowing himself to live, not just survive.

#case file compendium #xie qingcheng #bing an ben #meatbun doesn’t eat meat #cfc #bab #meatbun