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herrscherofinsanity · 2 days

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Sticky Situations

Four times Jimin "successfully" hides her superhero persona and one time she actually fails.

Fluff

Yu Jimin (Karina) x fem!reader

Word count: 2.5k

Spider!Jimin is finally back

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Wardrobe malfunction.

Yu Jimin stood in her room, struggling to pull her superhero suit over her head as quietly as possible. She had just received an urgent call about a bank robbery in progress, and she needed to spring into action as Spiderwoman; but as she wrestled with the fabric, she heard the telltale sound of y/n's footsteps approaching.

Panicking, Jimin glanced around the room for a hiding spot, but there was nowhere to conceal the suit in time. Thinking quickly, she grabbed the suit and hurled it across the room, hoping to buy herself a few precious seconds.

Just as Jimin released the suit, y/n swung open the door, her eyes widening in surprise at the sudden crash. "What on earth was that?" she exclaimed, peering into the room.

Jimin's heart raced as she racked her brain for an excuse. "Uh, probably just a raccoon," she blurted out, mentally kicking herself for the absurdity of her response.

y/n raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "In your room?" she deadpanned, giving Jimin a pointed look.

Jimin shifted nervously, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Well, you know how it is in the city," she mumbled, hoping her roommate would drop the subject.

Thankfully, y/n seemed to take pity on her flustered roommate. "Anyway, I was actually looking for one of your hoodies," she said, changing the subject. "Mind if I borrow it?"

Relieved by the change in topic, Jimin nodded eagerly. "Of course not! Help yourself," she replied, gesturing toward her wardrobe.

As y/n rummaged through Jimin's clothes, Jimin couldn't help but steal glances at her roommate, feeling a familiar flutter of affection in her chest. Despite her clumsy attempt to conceal her secret identity, Jimin couldn't help but feel grateful for her roommate's understanding… and for the opportunity to spend a little more time with her.

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2. I’m calling 911

Jimin trudged wearily back to the dorm, feeling utterly exhausted after a long night of crime-fighting as Spiderwoman. Her muscles ached, her clothes were torn, and she had a few scratches on her face and arms from her latest skirmish with a group of villains. She couldn't wait to collapse into bed and forget about the chaos of the night.

As she pushed open the door to her dorm room, Jimin let out a weary sigh, expecting to find an empty space where she could recuperate in peace. Luck definitely wasn’t on her side though. To her dismay, she spotted y/n lounging in the common area, looking up from her phone with a surprised expression.

"Jimin, what happened to you?" y/n exclaimed, jumping to her feet and rushing over to her disheveled roommate.

Jimin's heart skipped a beat at the sight of y/n's concerned expression, her blood pressure skyrocketing when her roommate cupped her face to get a better look at her injuries. "Oh, uh, it's nothing," she stammered, trying to play off her battered appearance. "Just got into a little scuffle with a raccoon, that's all." Another raccoon? What the hell is wrong with you, Yu Jimin?

y/n raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Seriously, Jimin? Another raccoon?" she asked incredulously.

Jimin chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of y/n's scrutiny. "Yeah, I know, it sounds ridiculous," she admitted. "But this one was really aggressive. I just wanted to pet it, but it didn't seem to like the idea..."

y/n shook her head, a mixture of amusement and concern in her eyes. "You and your raccoons," she muttered, reaching for her phone. "I'm calling 911. You need to get those scratches looked at."

Jimin's heart swelled with gratitude as she watched y/n fussing over her. Despite her ridiculous excuse, y/n was always there for her, ready to take care of her no matter what. She couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for her roommate, grateful for her unwavering support and kindness.

As y/n dialed the number for emergency services, Jimin couldn't help but smile to herself. Maybe her excuse was a little far-fetched, but it was worth it to see the concern in y/n's eyes and feel her warm touch as she checked Jimin's injuries.

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3. Sticky situation

Jimin and y/n were enjoying a quiet movie night together in their cozy dorm room. Jimin had suggested they watch a movie, and y/n readily agreed, eager for some quality time together.

As they settled in for their movie date, Jimin's heart fluttered with excitement at the prospect of spending quality time with y/n. She had been looking forward to this all week, relishing the chance to snuggle up with her girlfriend and enjoy a relaxing evening together. Jimin had even prepared a selection of snacks to share, eager to make the night extra special.

However, as the movie started playing and Jimin reached for the bowl of popcorn, she felt an odd sensation. The popcorn seemed to stick to her fingers, defying gravity as if held in place by an invisible force. Confused, Jimin tried to shake it off nonchalantly, hoping y/n wouldn't notice.

But the strange phenomenon persisted. Every object Jimin touched seemed to adhere to her hands, making it increasingly difficult for her to maintain her composure. She discreetly glanced at y/n, who was engrossed in the movie, completely unaware of Jimin's predicament.

Jimin's mind raced with questions. Was this some new manifestation of her powers? Had she accidentally activated her sticky web ability without realizing it? She frantically tried to release her grip on the popcorn bowl, but it stubbornly clung to her hand, defying her efforts.

Panic started to rise within Jimin as she struggled to conceal her growing distress. She couldn't afford to reveal her secret identity to y/n, not when their relationship was still so new. Desperate for a solution, Jimin racked her brain for a plausible explanation to offer when y/n inevitably noticed.

For now, she had to maintain the facade of normalcy, pretending everything was fine even as her world seemed to stick to her fingertips.

As the movie progressed, Jimin's attempts to discreetly deal with her sticky hands became increasingly comical. When y/n reached out to grab the remote, Jimin's hand stubbornly clung to it, resulting in a playful tug-of-war between the two.

"Hey, let go!" y/n laughed, trying to pry the remote from Jimin's grasp.

"I-I'm trying!" Jimin protested, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she struggled to release her grip.

After a brief struggle, Jimin finally managed to relinquish her hold on the remote, sending it flying into y/n's waiting hand. But as they resumed watching the movie, y/n couldn't help but notice the lingering stickiness on Jimin's fingers.

"Okay, what's up with your hands?" the younger girl asked, shooting Jimin a curious glance.

Jimin's mind raced as she scrambled for a plausible explanation. "Uh, I was, um, working with superglue earlier," she stammered, hoping her girlfriend would buy her excuse.

"Superglue?" y/n raised an eyebrow. "Why were you using superglue?"

Jimin's face flushed bright red as she searched for an answer. "I, uh, I was building a raccoon trap," she confessed sheepishly, hoping to deflect further questioning.

y/n shook her head in bemusement. "Only you, Jimin," she chuckled, shaking her head in amused disbelief.

Much to Jimin's delight and dismay, y/n reached out to hold hands, seemingly forgetting about Jimin's sticky predicament. Jimin's heart skipped a beat as their fingers intertwined, momentarily forgetting her sticky dilemma in the warmth of y/n's touch.

They stayed like that for a while, holding hands, with y/n's head resting comfortably on Jimin's shoulder. Jimin couldn't help but feel a rush of contentment wash over her as she savored the simple pleasure of being close to y/n.

In a tender moment, Jimin placed a gentle kiss on y/n's forehead, eliciting a soft smile from the other girl as she returned the gesture by pressing a kiss to Jimin's cheek. The affectionate exchange only deepened the bond between them, reaffirming the love they shared.

However, their intimate moment was interrupted when y/n whispered that she needed to use the bathroom and moved to get up.

y/n's attempt to get up was met with unexpected resistance as Jimin's hand remained firmly stuck to hers. With a bewildered expression, y/n turned to Jimin, her eyes wide with confusion. "Jimin, why won't you let go?" she asked, trying to understand the strange situation.

Feeling her heart race, Jimin blurted out the truth without hesitation. "Because I hate spending even a single second away from you," she confessed, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment at her candid admission.

y/n's heart melted at Jimin's heartfelt words, and she leaned in to press a tender kiss against Jimin's lips. "You're such a dork," she murmured affectionately, her voice filled with fondness as she whispered against Jimin's lips. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Determined to break free, y/n made another attempt to get up, only to find herself landing next to Jimin once again as her hand remained glued to her girlfriend's. "Jimin, let me go!" she exclaimed, a mixture of exasperation and amusement in her tone.

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4. Romeo and Juliet?

Jimin carefully approached the window of their dorm room, hoping to slip inside unnoticed. She had just returned from a late-night patrol as Spiderwoman and didn't want to wake y/n. As she reached for the latch, she froze when she heard the sound of water running in the kitchen.

She peeked cautiously through the window and saw y/n filling a glass at the sink. Jimin's heart sank as she realized her attempt to sneak in undetected had been thwarted. She hesitated, debating whether to continue with her plan or come up with a quick excuse if y/n spotted her.

As y/n turned around, she froze, her eyes widening in surprise as she caught sight of Jimin halfway through the window.

"Jimin? What the hell are you doing?" y/n's voice carried a mix of amusement and disbelief as she set the glass down on the counter.

Jimin's cheeks flushed crimson as she struggled to come up with a plausible explanation. "Um… well, you see… a raccoon… ate my keys?" she stammered, her voice betraying her nervousness.

y/n raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips. "A raccoon? Really, Jimin?"

Jimin chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck. "Okay, maybe not a raccoon. I, uh, I was actually trying to recreate Romeo and Juliet with you."

y/n burst into laughter, shaking her head in amusement. "You're such a dork, Jimin," she teased, her eyes sparkling with affection.

Despite the embarrassment, Jimin couldn't help but smile at y/n's reaction. "Yeah, I guess I am," she admitted with a sheepish grin. "But hey, at least I'm your dork, right?"

y/n's expression softened, her heart swelling with fondness for her girlfriend. "Yeah, you are," she agreed, moving closer to help Jimin through the window. As they stood face to face, Jimin leaned in, her lips curving into a soft smile.

"Thanks, babe," she murmured, her voice filled with gratitude.

y/n silenced Jimin's words with a gentle kiss, her lips meeting Jimin's in a sweet and tender moment of affection. As they pulled away, a warm glow settled in Jimin's chest, grateful for the love and understanding of her girlfriend.

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5. Don’t break up with me!

Jimin carefully slipped into the dorm room, her heart pounding against her chest. She had hoped to sneak in unnoticed, but luck wasn't on her side. Just as she closed the window behind her, she heard the creak of the door opening. Panic surged through her as she turned to see y/n stepping into the room, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Babe?" y/n's voice was laced with confusion and concern. "What are you doing in that suit?"

Jimin's mind raced, searching for an excuse, but her thoughts were jumbled, and her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest. "Um, well, you see... I was just..." she stuttered, her voice trailing off as she struggled to come up with a plausible explanation.

y/n's gaze intensified, her brows furrowing with worry. "Jimin, what's going on? Why are you dressed like that?"

“Please don’t break up with me!” Jimin blurted out in a panic.

“What!?”

Jimin took a step back, her heart sinking as she realized there was no way to hide the truth any longer. "I-I mean, I can explain," she started, her voice trembling slightly. "But first, I need you to promise me that you won't freak out."

y/n's expression softened, her concern deepening. "Jimin, whatever it is, you know you can talk to me, right? I'm here for you."

Jimin felt a surge of gratitude wash over her at y/n's words, but she knew that what she was about to reveal would change everything. Taking a deep breath, she made a split-second decision to trust her girlfriend with the truth.

"I'm Spiderwoman," she blurted out, her voice barely above a whisper. "I've been hiding it from you, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer."

y/n's eyes widened in shock, her mouth falling open in disbelief. "Spiderwoman?" she repeated, her voice barely a whisper. "But... how? Why?"

Jimin's shoulders slumped as she recounted the events that had led to her becoming the masked hero. She spoke of her desire to make a difference, to help those in need, and the responsibility she felt to use her powers for good.

"I know it's a lot to take in," she said, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "But I needed you to know the truth. I couldn't keep lying to you."

y/n's gaze softened, her eyes brimming with understanding. "Jimin, I may not understand everything right now, but one thing's for sure, I'm here for you. Whatever you need, whatever you're going through, I'll be by your side."

Tears welled up in Jimin's eyes as she stepped forward, enveloping the girl she loved in a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for being here for me."

As they held each other, Jimin felt a sense of relief wash over her. She had feared that revealing her secret would drive a wedge between them, but instead, it had brought them closer together.

“…You really won’t break up with me, right?”

“Oh my- Jimin!” the younger girl screeched.

“I’m sorry!”

“If I’m being completely honest with you, I like this Spiderwoman thing way better than when I thought you were obsessed with raccoons” y/n said, a pensive look on her face.

Jimin couldn't help but roll her eyes at y/n's comment. "Seriously?" she groaned, playfully nudging her girlfriend.

But before she could protest further, y/n leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Jimin's lips. The warmth of their embrace melted away any lingering tension, and Jimin found herself smiling against y/n's lips.

y/n chuckled, pulling back slightly to meet Jimin's gaze. "Just so you know," she started, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I’ve always thought Spiderwoman was pretty hot."

Jimin grinned, her heart swelling with love for the girl in front of her. "Lucky me," she replied, leaning in to capture y/n's lips in another sweet kiss.

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A/N: Hi, hello! Now, this isn't the story I've been working on, I just haven't finished it, but I didn't want to make you guys wait that much. Sooo I quickly wrote Sticky Situations as a gift. I'll finish the other story and upload it during the week. I also have a Chaewon request to write...

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one. Thank you for reading! If you want to request something feel free to do it, I'll get to it whenever I have free time.

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flight0fthenavigat0r · 3 days

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A Goodbye to The Bad Batch

I don’t even know what to say first. Because this is goodbye, but it is also everything but. But I suppose I should start at the beginning.

Just a couple of years ago I found my love for Star Wars. My entire life, as far back as I can remember, my dad has tried to get me into the fandom. Now, he’s not a fan the exact same way some of us are, he’d only watched the saga and the Mandalorian, funnily enough I was the one to introduce him to The Clone Wars and beyond, but it’s been a joy in his life for a very long time. I was never interested in it when I was little, but then I got a little older and Star Wars started to capture my interest.

One random weekend, I believe in 2021 or 2022, I decided that I was going to watch all nine saga movies in those forty-eight hours, and then start on my goal to watch every show and the additional movies.

This is, without a shred of doubt, one of the greatest decisions I have ever made, and one that I will never regret. I would not be the person I am had I not given Star Wars a chance.

It would sound ridiculous to anyone anywhere else, but this has become such a safe place for me that I know I can be honest.

Everyone finds that one thing that makes them happy like nothing else. A person, a hobby, a place, a fandom. Mine is the galaxy far, far away that lets me escape from my life whenever I need to.

The Star Wars fandom has its faults, and there is so much hatred.

But more than anything, there is love like no love I have ever experienced before. The love between fans and our love for these movies and shows is something I never expected to have in my life. But somehow, for some reason, it has all found a permanent place in my heart, and I couldn’t be happier.

At this time, the first season of The Bad Batch had just been released. I was branching out, watching The Clone Wars and then jumping to The Book of Boba Fett, though I’m not sure why I chose to watch everything in such a completely random order.

But then I started The Bad Batch.

I had no idea what Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Hunter, Echo, and Omega would come to mean to me.

I have dealt with a lot in the last few years. Nothing compared to others, but depression finds a way to wedge into your life. I love to be alone, but I don’t like to be lonely, and I have managed to isolate myself to a point of misery.

I found more comfort in The Bad Batch than anything else in my life, and I will never forget the joy The Bad Batch brought me in these last few years.

I began to write when I found Star Wars, and I was inspired to do so by The Bad Batch. Before, I had never felt so compelled by any one piece of media to add my own part of it to the world, until this. Writing has become another escape, one that gives me an outlet to continue the stories of characters left behind.

What I already knew has been reaffirmed, the lessons I have learned remain with me, and will even after this is over.

That it’s okay to feel afraid, because everyone does, and to make mistakes, provided you learn from them.

That feeling out of place for one reason or another does not make you unworthy of love, and having limitations with affection isn’t something you need to apologize for.

That being goofy, having fun, finding joy in the dark places, is just as vital a part of life as anything else, if not what we need more than anything.

That taking time for yourself, to make sure you don’t fall apart, even while taking care of others, is important.

That our worst moments can be one of two things, what consumes us, or what we grow from.

That being a young woman is not a detriment to your worth, intelligence, talent, or any other aspect of life, but is in fact what makes you strongest.

That what makes us unique and our faults are a part of who we are, but they do not define us, and we are so much more than the ideas people have of us.

My only regret is not making friends when I had the chance. I’m bad at that, opening up and putting myself out there, and I shy away from talking to new people because it makes me uncomfortable. But I wish I had been able to put that aside before it was too late and found people who love The Bad Batch the way I do to continue talking to, even after the show ends.

But to all the people who have supported me and who I have supported, thank you for being part of my Bad Batch experience.

It's very difficult to believe that this is it.

Though The Bad Batch has not been around long, it feels like it has, because as long as I have been watching Star Wars, The Bad Batch has been in its active run, and I’m so grateful I got to be here when it was.

I know that even when the credits roll for the final time, when the greater fandom forgets the show that they never really understood the way we have, I’ll be here, and hopefully, so will all of you. I think that the family brought together by The Bad Batch will endure, even if we go quiet for a while.

We’ll stick around, for the day the Batch comes back. Because I know they will.

Thank you Clone Force 99, the Bad Batch fandom, Dee Bradley Baker, Michelle Ang, the Kiners, and everybody who played a part in telling this story.

The impact The Bad Batch has had on my life has been profound, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. It’s been a wild ride, and I have enjoyed every second of it. It has been a privilege to be a part of this piece in the ever growing history that makes up Star Wars.

Goodbye, Bad Batch. Until next time.

“Change takes getting used to. You’ll see. Just give it time.”

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gwandas · 21 hours

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I desperately need Nesta’s thoughts on the High King plotline because she wasn’t privy to that conversation. She’s certain that the Night Court isn’t interested in conquest:

Red flame sizzled in Eris’s eyes. “What did the King of Hybern have to gain by attaining the Cauldron and invading our lands?”

“We have no interest in conquest, Eris,” Cassian said, crossing his arms. “You know that. And we’re not going to use the Trove.”

Eris barked a laugh. Nesta could see that he didn’t believe them—that he was so used to the twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it.

Meanwhile in Cassian’s POV 20 chapters earlier:

No other male who would be a fairer ruler than Rhys. And with Feyre as High Queen ... Prythian would be blessed to have such leaders.

And do not forget that Nesta herself—and Elain, with whatever powers she has—is here. Feyre is here. All three sisters blessed by fate and gifted with powers to match your own. Feyre alone doubles your strength. Nesta makes you unstoppable. Especially if she were to march into battle wearing the Mask. No enemy could stand against her.

So… Cassian is literally lying. Yes, Rhys has no interest in conquest for now, but we know for a fact the IC will back him up 100% if he changes his mind. And Nesta’s thinking oh Eris is ridiculous and assuming the worst of the Night Court while he’s actually spot on. Nesta is the only thing standing in their way.

They can’t use the Trove without her (as far as we know), so they’d have to get her on board. But between this scene + her comments in HOFAS, it sounds like she wouldn’t support them. She has Gwydion, assuming they don’t try to take it from her. Even if they do, she still has Ataraxia. I have no idea if SJM will actually carry out a High King plot, but Nesta has to be a key player if she does.

#nesta archeron deserves better #anti rhysand #anti cassian #anti ic #anti inner circle #anti sjm #sjm critical #who am i kidding SJM will make nesta support them even if it’s unrealistic #as always this is definitely just an example of her shitty writing and inconsistency

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thecasualqueer · 21 hours

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6 & 16 :)

Thank you for the ask :)) <3

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

“Lena?” Kara says at the other end of the line excitedly making Lena's heart skip a beat. “Are you on your way to Paris now with James?”

“Actually, we broke up”

“Lena I’m so sorry, are you okay? I can come over if you like. Would you rather I bring ice cream or alcohol? You know what I’ll just bring both...” Kara says frantically looking for ways to cheer Lena up.

“Come to Paris with me?” Lena says feeling a rush of impulsivity she would never usually allow herself to act on.

“Lena, you know I would love that, but are you sure that’s a good idea right now?” Kara says, she sounds concerned.

“If I stay here, I’ll probably spend the weekend at L-corp and I could really use some time off. Plus, I have reservations at this amazing restaurant that were ridiculously hard to get, but above all else I’d just really like to see you and I’m not the really type of person to sit around crying over a boy, I never have been.”

“I suppose if you were going to be crying over a boy you might as well do it in Paris”

Lena smiles “Does that mean you’re in?”

16. Do people irl know you participate in fandom?

most people: no

my family: definitely no

friends I have gotten drunk around: possibly

That's all I will say on that one.

#ask game #fandom ask game #supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor #kara danvers #sc fic

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icycoldninja · 1 day

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here is an idea: DMC 3 Dante x Fem hunter reader where they are dating/demon hunting partners, she falls pregnant and dose not know until when she is on a mission and she goes into labor meaning her BF (Dante) needs to deliver there baby and comfert her (example: calling her a good girl and praising her) away from the demons

OK first of all let me just say something real quick--there is physically, scientifically, and biologically no way you can get pregnant and be completely oblivious about it until labor. What about missing your period? What about hormonal and weight changes? What about pains, aches, and cramps? What about the extremely noticeable tummy growth? This whole thing is gonna be ridiculously illogical, but I'll still do it. Enjoy. 💜

Sudden labor (DMC3! Dante X Fem!Pregnant!Reader)

You and Dante had been dating for a few years now, being loyal partners both in regards to your relationship and to your job. You hunted demons together by day and passionately made love to one another by night.

One day you two sent out together on a mission to exterminate a massive clan of demons that had taken a liking to a particular forest not too far from a moderately populated city. You and Dante were doing just fine at first, relentlessly chopping down and shooting holes through creatures without end. Everything was going perfectly well, until suddenly, you felt a sudden and sharp pain shoot through your stomach. It wasn't a stomachache, it wasn't period cramps, it wasn't like anything you'd ever experienced before. It was so painful, it brought you to your knees. You dropped your weapons, collapsing onto the ground, crying out in pain. Dante heard you, and fearing that you'd gotten attacked, rushed to your side in an instant.

"Babe, what's going on? You alright?" He asked, worriedly.

"I--I don't know! It hurts...everything hurts!" You suddenly became aware of something runny trickling down your legs, and you looked down, only to find a mixture of blood and other fluids leaking out of your privates. "What the hell?!" You shrieked, fearfully. "What's happening to me?!"

"It looks like you're in labor!" Dante screamed. "How did--?! What--?! How the hell is this possible?! How come we didn't realize you were pregnant before?!"

"I don't know!" You replied, panting heavily. "What do we do?!" Dante answered you by scooping you up and carrying you to a location far, far away from the (slowly dying) demons and carefully set you on the ground. After removing your bottoms and taking a quick glance at your contracting vagina, he realized there was no time to get you to a hospital. You'd have to give birth here.

"OK," Dante began, taking deep breaths. "Uhh...push. Yeah, push. That's how you deliver a baby, right? Push!" You nodded, and though the pain was intense, you grit your teeth and pushed through as hard as you could.

"Good job," Dante encouraged, patting your shoulder with trembling hands. "You're doing great. Keep going. Stay strong. You're ok. Good girl--you're doing alright. Keep pushing." You could tell by his frantic, stammering speech that Dante was just as terrified and anxious as you were, given the sudden nature of all this, but he did his best to stay calm and collected so you could have someone to lean on.

Confused, frightened, and in so much pain, you continued pushing hard, and eventually heard a hollow pop, followed by a small cry.

"Oh my God!" Dante shouted, diving down to scoop up the baby that had just slid out of your uterus. "You did it, babe! You--you gave birth! You gave birth!" You let out an exhausted chuckle, flopping back against the ground with a sigh. Your newborn baby cried and failed about in Dante's arms, making him smile. Even though it was under really strange circumstances, you two now had a baby! Hooray!

"Is...is it a boy or a girl?" You asked, gratefully sucking in deep breaths of air.

"Y'know what?" Dante replied, sounding unsure. "I have no freaking clue. Let's go to the hospital and ask the doctors."

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elephantbitterhead · 1 year

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Celebrating today by indulging in my culture's traditional activity: installing wood flooring.

#Over Hartside #pie tomorrow #speaking of which: if you want a good vegan pecan pie recipe #tell me & I will set you up #I know this sounds like a ridiculous idea #and I hate stupid fake vegan foods more than most people #BUT #this pie is really good #especially if you like your pecan pie on the chewy side #it does require a lot of dates though #in case that's important #but it's nothing but pecans #dates #maple syrup #and some flax seeds #and I am here to tell you that you can eat at least half the pie in one sitting #with no ill effects #whereas I'm pretty sure half a regular pecan pie might launch my pancreas #into another dimension

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softquietsteadylove · 6 months

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Gil has a sexy water shooting in boxers and a white dress shirt 😏

"This is dumb."

"Come on," Thena smiled as Gil fussed with his 'wardrobe', "you know how these shoots are."

"I wish I didn't," he grumbled, visibly embarrassed.

"Stop it," Thena laughed faintly. She had seen him plenty of times like this--shy and flustered at the wardrobe picked for him. "You look good. And that is the whole point of this."

"I still don't know whose big idea it was to even nominate me," he practically pouted as the lighting for the set was finalised."

"It's based on general consensus, Gilgamesh," she chided him, tugging at the front of his shirt for him one last time. "And Sprite says there has been a bit of a resurgence for you online as of late."

Gil had stumbled into a nomination for sexiest man of the year (or alive, or whatever they were calling it these days). And he wasn't overly pleased with it, especially when he found out that he had won. And furthermore, that they wanted to do a sexy photo shoot for the occasion.

He had initially wanted to decline, but his manager practically frothed at the mouth at the idea. One did not simply decline the title, nor the publicity that came with it.

King had said, verbatim, "go on and slut it up, big guy", so...that was helpful.

"Okay," Gil gulped, stiffly walking towards the set.

He had fussed and fussed, saying that plenty of options were just not him, or they wouldn't be believable that it was something he did regularly. At first he had suggested they just follow him around at the gym for the interview.

But the editor had gotten a tip off that Gil was a great cook.

Thena watched from the sidelines as they directed him. He was wearing a white button up shirt, and absolutely nothing else. Well, a pair of black boxer-briefs. Gil had said he looked completely ridiculous. Thena had told him not to argue with the producers.

He did look sexy.

Gil slouched over to the stove, grasping the handle of the pan just to really sell that he was doing some casual and lazy home cooking (in his underwear). "Y'know, I can't help but feel it's kinda dangerous to advertise this. Cooking without protection can-"

"Okay, big guy," the photographer murmured, obviously not listening to him. "Tug those sleeves up a little more?"

He did have great forearms.

"And," they adjusted the lens, "lean back a little, like you're talking with someone behind you?"

Gil was still terribly stiff. For all his acting prowess, photo shoots were not something into which his talent could translate naturally. He was too shy, too uncomfortable showing off his body.

"Think about who you're making these eggs for!"

Gil looked at the spatula in his other hand, "you really wouldn't need this just to scramble some eggs."

The producer sighed, rubbing their forehead. "Okay, let's try...something else."

"Gladly," Gil sighed, dropping himself from the unnatural pose.

"You!"

Thena blinked as she found a finger pointed at her, "me?"

The producer nodded, wagging a finger until she came closer to the set, "you came with him."

Yes, Gil had both been mortified at the idea of her seeing him like this, but also too shy to come all by himself for what could have been anything from a sports shoot to a total fanservice scene.

"What about her?" She was grasped by the shoulders to indicate to Gil that she could be the subject. "We put her at the other side of the island, out of frame, you just talk to her for a little. Think you can do that?"

Gil sighed at the grating and patronising tone. But he understood that his discomfort was primarily the cause of it. He looked at her, "are you okay with this?"

"It's not a problem," she answered, mostly for Gil's sake. Although she was all but shoved into the seat by the producer who obviously thought this would be quick and easy.

"Okay," Gil sighed as he resumed his place in the best lighting for the shot. "So, uh-"

"Well, you're right, you wouldn't use that thing to scramble eggs."

Gil did glance over his shoulder partially at her, pretending to make the vague gestures of cooking.

"You always just use chopsticks when I watch you," she tilted her head, although saying that was possibly more incriminating than she intended it to be. She just meant that he cooked a lot when he was over at her house (a lot).

"I mean, it's not like it's bad for making eggs," he shrugged, moving the spatula as stirring something around in his empty pan. "But it kinda cuts through them rather than keeps them airy and fluffy."

Thena smiled, happy just to watch him loosen up somewhat. "You could be making pancakes, I suppose."

"Huh," Gil mused, examining his pan at the suggestion. "I wouldn't really recommend a stainless steel nonstick for it, but I guess it's not impossible."

"You make delicious pancakes."

Thena continued to chat with him lightly and causally. It did actually seem to help him loosen up and forget about the cameras and the lights and the lack of pants on him. He would turn towards her every once in a while and then go back to staring at his imaginary dish.

"I think we got it!"

Gil blinked, "really?"

"Yep," the photographer declared happily, with the producer nodding enthusiastically in relief. "We're all good."

"Oh, uh," Gil set the pan and spatula down on the set stove and stepped back, "great."

Thena smiled at him; he was immediately back to being self-conscious and shy. She stood from her seat, "come on."

Gil started tugging at the shirt immediately, rolling down the sleeves to keep his hands busy. "Thank god, let's get outta here."

"Get some pants on, you mean?" she couldn't resist a little tease, which made him turn scarlet right to his ears. "Oh, come on, Gil. Your backside looked quite fantastic, I thought."

"Thanks," he snarked, eagerly heading right for the changing room to put his normal clothes back on. He looked over his shoulder before disappearing completely, "should I be concerned about you looking when I'm cooking at home, now?"

She shrugged with a faint grin, "what would you prefer I look at?"

Gil never did come up with a reply, retreating from her flirting.

She also needed to recover, actually. He did look good in the shirt and underwear they had selected for him. And while it wouldn't show up on the page, she had actually seen that it wasn't specially lined just for the shoot. She hadn't seen everything but she felt that she had seen...enough.

She twisted her hair over her shoulder, running her fingers through it, although making sure that the tips of her ears were covered.

#Thenamesh Actors AU #Listen Gilgamesh is sexy Don said so himself #he could totally get nominated for this #Sprite is like dude you're totally the newest Daddy #he looks at her like excuse me???#please don't ever say that?????#but he wins #in his interview he says he doesn't know how this happened over and over #he's scared to go to the shoot because what if it's too much #he won't have the backbone to say anything but Thena will #so he brings her #then he hears what it is and is like #I can't wear pants?!#they're like not that's not part of the deal #he looks at Thena thinking she'll say it's a ridiculous idea for a shoot #and she's like sounds good go on then #she pretends she's so uninvested #just a friend supporting a friend #she goes out and buys a copy and hides it in her room #so she doesn't have to explain why she had the copy with Gil's half naked spread in it

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16-jarrah · 1 year

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i get why people would opt to say walter was a terrible person since the beginning, but i think that's like, the most boring takeaway you can get about his character. he was already insecure and prideful from the start, and it's what would hurt him and keep hurting him. but like, being insecure and prideful are regular traits any regular person can have. the actions that he makes because of these traits, which in turn keep fueling his ego more and more, are what makes him an interesting character. and he was already pretty capable of hurting other people, but he wasn't doing it out of malice, but more because of careless selfishness at first. what makes walter terrifying is that the more he does it, the more he becomes aware of what he's doing, and the more he keeps going and keeps being more and more meticulous and deliberate about what he does that hurts people and even to the point when it was specifically to hurt people.

i think the traits were there in walter from the beginning—the pilot did a pretty good job of establishing how powerless he's felt all his life and just how susceptible he is to letting this newfound perceived power get to his head so easily. he even says this explicitly in 5x06 "Buyout" when he tells jesse "i'm not in the money business, i'm in the empire business". but saying he was this monster from the start kind of implies he didn't undergo through a character arc throughout the show when it's quite literally what he did. he got worse. so much worse. through mostly the fault of his own fragility.

#idk if i put it into words right but i'm just musing #was walter a good person when brba started? up in the air. but his family genuinely adored him. despite feeling like a loser teacher #some of his coworkers actually really liked and respected him. he was just as much of a regular person as anyone else was tbh #you know it's interesting that he and gale basically have the same motivations. why jump to meth of all things. why go from 0 to 100 when #it sounds COMPLETELY ridiculous. but they were both very passionate about chemistry who felt like their potentials were wasted and felt #like they were finally putting their skills to good use again. getting to flex their muscles and shit. whenever they cook better purer meth #than most other people. i think it's a really genius idea to have this premise for the show lol #cz as much as walter is motivated by him feeling like he desperately has to take control of his own life he also is a scientist at heart #who desperately needs to apply his knowledge and skills somewhere where it would feel gratifying #seriously dude you could've tried to get a paper published or two or something. djhdidhd #but the academe has its own Politics and whatnot. so one could only speculate why walt didn't get to pursue that any more #(aside from the whole grey matter industries thing)#anyway uhhh i hope i get the post across lol not to sound cheesy cliche but brba is a corruption slash character deterioration arc #quite literally the whole point is that he Didn't Start Off Like This And He Gets Worse #again. he already had some of his bad tendencies and traits but it's like. we all do that's not necessarily inherently make or break #it's what he DOES and KEEPS DOING. CONSCIOUSLY that turns him into the horrifying man he is by the end of it all #so i just think if your biggest takeaway is Walter Was Always A Monster then you're just missing the whole damn point #op #brbaposting

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maddy-ferguson · 9 months

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rewatching season three i can see why people aged 14 to 17 think they're the target audience for the show they did not write this for adult humans to enjoy

#every subplot sounds more ridiculous than the last i know it's only barely enjoyable from a character development and stuff standpoint but #that's all it has going for it to me because the supernatural plot is just so? did they have children brainstorm and give them their best #ideas because what #russian terminator guy i owe you an apology i wasn't really familiar with your game #when people complained a little while ago i was #agreeing with them but i forgot just how bad it was it's SO BAD...russians under the mall is a classic of course. mean william being #possessed instead of nice william this time is a little funny #i was 17 when it came out and i enjoyed it.#not to do the whole age thing again but it really is funny that they're like how dare you you're an adult like you were 8 when season one #came out do you think they made this show for you.#the crazy thing is they do just because there's KIDS IN THE SHOW like omg. there's kids in the shining was that for 7-year-olds #not saying people under the age of 40 can't enjoy the show seeing as i am as you all know under the age of 40. as are the duffers for #another six months #and i started watching the show when i was 14 i don't think they're crazy for liking it obviously i think they're crazy for thinking they #were the intended audience #i'm sorry i don't even remember disliking season 3 that much the last time i watched it. and i'm actually having fun watching it i just #also think it's stupid #and like i say: brf slt

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timeisacephalopod · 10 months

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Remember back in the day where a lot of Tumblr youths said they wanted alcohol free LGBT+ spaces like coffee shops or something to meet with other people but not be barred from entry based on age or alcohol being present? Then ace people said the same thing but with ace coffee shops and now if you say you want an alcohol free LGBT+ space on Tumblr your fuckin clowned to Christian hell and back because people are so aphobic they deadass threw out ideas THEY came up with because asexual people also liked that idea lmao. Now every time I see someone mention alcohol free LGBT+ spaces or stuff other than gay bars I ALWAYS know somewhere on that post the idea queer people may want to hang out without alcohol around or hang out not in a fucking club is some sort of Extremely Cringe Horrible Sexless (oh, a callback to the aphobia that started it all because obviously the worst thing you can be is celibate the church called they want their number back) Behavior that's Mocked and Ridiculed so we all know how Hilarious and Stupid it is to want spaces that aren't bars to hang out in. Like really, the idea that even adults might not ONLY want bars to hang out in is actually ridiculous to you? Really?

#winters ramblings #i honestly cant believe that STUCK AROUND when soany people rightly pointed out maybe teen gays want a space to meet #maybe former alcoholics or addicts dont want to be alienated from their community. maybe some adults dont drink or want to be around booze #but no lol who cares about all that because ace people said asexual coffee shops would be fun so now the idea is Clown Town #and any time its brought up its mocked into the fucking DIRT as if its SOOOO ridiculous people dont like bars #i dont like bars. i dont drink. an LGBT coffee shop ACTUALLY sounds great i used to go to a coffee shop/book store #in toronto that catered to gays. saw a drag show there once. it was a delight i dont see why this idea gets so routinely mocked #except you know. that people fucking hate ace people for no reason

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shadowsandstarlight · 2 months

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Today I discovered that my social studies teacher listens to Welcome to Night Vale, and I am still in a bit of shock.

#of the things you expect to have in common with your social teacher. this is not usually one of them.#it’s not as though he’s like. a young new teacher either. if he was I wouldn’t be surprised at all.#no I’m pretty sure he’s in his fifties.#very stereotypical history teacher (/pos). likes to use gen z slang sometimes specifically because it sounds ridiculous coming from him.#I don’t know what I expected but him being a night vale fan was not on the list #we had to make fictional propaganda posters and I did one on the faceless old woman vs hiram mcdaniels mayoral race #included a little explanation because I figured he would have no idea what the hell was going on otherwise #but no he comes up and mentions that he likes the poster and he’s listened to the podcast #asks if I’ve read alice isn’t dead and says it’s really good and he’d recommend it #y’know. typical chat with your middle-aged social studies teacher.

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dngsicheng · 3 months

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#personal rant ahead #will definitely delete later #maybe i am just a little too sensitive rn because i am supposed to get my period idkidk #but sometimes i think i should maybe just let one of my relatives arrange a meeting with a guy??#i was completely opposed to the idea so far and rejected all suggestions #but as time passes i am sure i won't meet the loml in the kdrama way i dream of lol??#maybe bc i am unapproachable especially for strangers and ppl that 'know' me.. maybe think i'm too difficult #this is so ridiculous #it sounds so dumb like i know this is not the most important thing but at the same time it is #and on top of that i feel like i can't talk to anyone about it bc no one gets it?#yeah i needed to get this off my chest

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afniel · 4 months

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AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism #and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain.#it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all #the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain.#because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take #obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?'#followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY'#because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao #well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind']#and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad.#but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that!#I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch #he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it.#I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician.#but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though #I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao #anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit.#'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on #like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky #I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol

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