#I might make this a little series but I just thought terry who wants you so bad and emt reader who is so scared was a cute dynamic

[yeahimcal]

Bad News (Terry McGinnis)

“Terry McGinnis is bad news, you don’t want to mess with him.” was the first thing you heard about him.

“He’s a bad boyfriend. Skips dates, flakes on plans, always has weird bruises is and really tired. None of his partners have ever caught him cheating, but he definitely does.” Was the next several things, all said in a hushed whisper as you were ushered past the black-haired boy in question.

He certainly didn’t… look like bad news. You’d dated guys who were bad news before, and very few of them had looked like Terry. Acted like him, either.

He was nice. He had helped you with your homework when you cried at the study tables in the library, smoothing a soothing hand over your shoulder blades almost unconsciously as he walked you through your chemistry exam study guide. He’d given you some gum, a smile, and a pat on the back before he promptly fell asleep on the table in the back corner of the library, snoring softly.

You’d slid your number into his hand when you left, and that was it for a while. He didn’t text. You saw each other in passing, and he’d smiled and you’d smiled, but nothing more.

Until you’d gotten the call.

“Hey.” He breathed into the speaker, his voice sounding oddly pained. “I’m sorry to call at this hour, but, uh, this… this isn’t really something I can call my mom for.”

He’d given you the address of an abandoned warehouse, begged you not to be freaked out when you got there, and hung up.

You went.

You didn’t really know why you went, for all you knew it was a really elaborate booty call or kidnapping scheme, but ten minutes later you parked next to the warehouse and slipped inside.

There, leaned up against a wall, bleeding and bruised, was Terry.

“You’re- you’re studying to be an EMT, right?” He asked with a pained smile that was supposed to be charming, gesturing to his wounds. “I figured you’d appreciate some hands-on experience.”

“What the hell?” You’d breathed, giving him a shocked look as you rushed to examine his wounds. “Terry, why didn’t you call the police?”

“Not the sharpest, are you.” Terry grunted in what might have been amusement, hissing as you poked and prodded him to see what was hurting. “Can’t call the police, they’d arrest me.”

“Arrest you?” You’d echoed, and then you took in his outfit. All black, with a red bat on the front. A cowl was clutched in his hand, the ends sharpening into little points. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, I’m Batman.” Terry chuckled, but it was more at the look of shock on your face. He moved to sit up and then groaned, cringing and covering his wound. “Can you patch me up before I die here, please? Kinda called you for your specific set of skills.”

“You are so stupid.” You chided, but reluctantly dug around in your bag for hydrogen peroxide and bandages.

“And you’re old school, doc.” He breathed, smiling up at you cheekily. “You don’t carry those fancy little kits that heal people up on the spot?”

“They don’t sell them to anyone other than certified medical personnel.” You said, giving him a pointed glare and dousing his wound in hydrogen peroxide. “And I’m not a doctor.”

“Ah-” Terry hissed, tipping his head back and gasping in a little breath. … he was pretty. He was really pretty, and it was a little distracting. The voices of your friends rang out in the back of you head, warning you that he was trouble, but you couldn’t find it in you to listen when he swallowed thickly and turned to look at you, a lopsided smile on his pale face. “Same difference.” He breathed, chuckling.

You looked back at his wound, face flushed and feeling dizzy from the laps your brain was having to do to see Terry- scrawny, ‘bad boy’, Terry- as Batman. It seemed ridiculous, but his muscles were right there underneath your hands, tensing as you bandaged him up. He looked bigger than he did when you saw him in passing, stronger- when you saw him, he was always wearing bigger clothes that nearly dwarfed him, making him look smaller than he was. His hair was damp with sweat that ran down his face and made him look a little bit red, his lips parted as he breathed in air. He was gorgeous.

Suddenly, it made a little more sense why his exes had kept on giving him chances.

You worked quietly and efficiently, only sparing a few looks at your accidental patient before you finished patching him up.

“You should get that checked out at an actual hospital.” You said, helping him to his feet. “And I still don’t understand why you called me. We aren’t… friends.”

Terry shrugged, cupping your face in his hand and grinning a toothy smile at you. “Yeah, well, we definitely are now, doc.” He teased, tapping your nose and pushing away from you to head towards the doors opposite of where you’d parked. “Text me sometime and we can go out and get some drinks. I feel like you’ll be better company when you’re not crying over your study guides.”

He slipped the cowl on over his head and you could very nearly feel his stupid smile, which you already knew was going to get you in more trouble than you had bargained for, as he slipped out the doors and into the Gotham night.

When you walked back out to your car, it had a flat tire, and the window was broken.

… okay, maybe Terry was bad news.

#☀︎cal writes! #dc comics #terry mcginnis #batman beyond #Batman #terry mcginnis x reader #no use of y/n #dc x reader #First cal fic who cheered #I got very hit out of nowhere to write for this guy #I don’t even go here really #But he’s silly #Umm forcibly subjecting you all to my pretty terry agenda #Batman beyond x reader #I might make this a little series but I just thought terry who wants you so bad and emt reader who is so scared was a cute dynamic

[henrysglock]

Well, Well...Look Whose Limbs Are Still Intact (AKA the 4th NINA installment)

After seeing The First Shadow, I'm revisiting NINA installment #3!

Previously, I had speculated that El may have committed the 4.07 massacre after all, because there are multiple shots where the bodies don't have the Vecna eyes/snapped limbs.

For example, the difference:

And she may still have, I won't rule that out entirely. However...After seeing TFS, I have questions.

In TFS, when "Henry" doesn't attack in classic Vecna-style (which we actually witness firsthand just as often as we witness traditional Vecna killings), he attacks similarly to the way El does:

(it's not exactly the same, but the end results are very similar)

It's not Vecna style. Point blank.

When Vecna kills, the limbs always go first, and the eyes go last. We see that in Prancer, we see it in Virginia, and we see it in 1986. Limbs, then jaw, then eyes.

As far as we know, "Henry" on his own doesn't snap limbs at all, let alone jaws. The victims (see: Mr. Newby and Inmate 58361) are usually awake, aware, and screaming in agony, and no bones are broken. The eyes are the only thing to go, and they go fairly quickly.

Not Vecna-style.

So now, of course, I have to look back at her:

I know we've all seen this scene (and these pictures) so, so many times. Most likely from me, and most likely in another part of this analysis series. However, I want to run through this one part specifically shot by shot because it's EXTREMELY funny to me.

We've got Jumpsuit-A Guy (I'll just call him JA for short) attacking El:

So you'd assume he's both the One making El's eyes bleed that way and the One making her limbs twist/snap, right? Because he's doing what Vecna does?

(He isn't, but they want you to think he's doing what Vecna does. They're very good at hiding things about jumpsuit guys.)

But check this out.

We never see teen El with: a) twisting/snapping limbs b) the squeezing eye blood pattern c) JA Guy on screen at the same time. We see everything in tight shots. (Of course, always managing to keep that mirror in view behind One without showing us El. That's a secret tool that'll help us later.)

I've put the shot progressions in order from L -> R, top -> bottom, like lines in a book:

(Blackout to the new Terry/birth memory)

So, from this scene alone, we actually have very little evidence that JA did both things.

And you might go "Oh James, but look at the subtitles earlier!"

I have to ask: Are the breaking bones in the room with us right now?

Because all I see is El flailing, which is consistent with the next subtitle:

But...subtitling aside. I have better evidence that he didn't do both things. The Duffers thought they could pull a fast one on me, but the jokes on them—I'm an autistic freak who liked the I-Spy books way too much as a kid.

Can anyone explain this away?

And yes, the guy in the final screenshot is a bloody jumpsuit guy, even if I can't tell you with 100% certainty which jumpsuit he is. He's just moving really fast:

Anyway. That aside, have a look at the blood pattern on El.

The top gowns have blood on the left hip (twisting limbs El), the bottom gowns have blood on the right hip (squeeze eye blood El).

And I thought okay, well, let's run through some explanations:

Maybe somehow we're seeing that lower splotch by her left knee? First off, the stain's too big. Second, it's not the right shape. Third, it's hand-level. Definitely not the knee splotch.

Maybe, by some impossible 3D modeling limb fuck-up that swapped her hands, we're seeing her from behind? Well, let's see...

Nope! As far as we know, El doesn't have blood on her back, impossible limbs aside.

It seems, almost, like they shot her right side and mirrored it.

See?

So that's straight up not the same girl. Squeezed bloody eyes El and twisting limbs El are different girls.

That, my friends, means we have a brand-new version of teen El in the massacre.

That's consistent with what I talked about here, the scene at the beginning of NINA where teen El turns around twice:

Which is also the scene where we get two different doors in the Rainbow Room with teen El...And it all tracks with the doubled/mirrored rainbow room BTS.

So yes, we definitely have at least two versions of NINA running with teen El! One where her eyes bleed squeeze-style, and one where her bones break.

This means that whatever's going on in that scene with JA, he's not responsible for all of it, because the El in the "correct" gown has the eye blood, but the El in the "mirrored" gown has the twisting limbs. Two different girls, two different guys.

So, then, the next logical question to ask is: What is Jumpsuit-A Guy responsible for?

With the way JA's attack on El is filmed (the camera cuts and tight shots), it's nearly impossible to tell which things he's doing.

Disclaimer: None of the childrens' bodies are killed in a traditional Vecna manner. None of the jaws are broken. There's something else going on here, and I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mirrored version of TFS Henry's attack style (read: limbs first or limbs only rather than eyes only). So when I say "Vecna style", that's me referring to a limbs-first style.

Moving on...I daresay JA doesn't kill "like Vecna". Let me explain.

JA is the only guy we see actively killing in the Rainbow Room, and they're generous enough to swing/pan around to him in a continuous shot for it! No camera cuts there, no extra doubt introduced.

[TFS Brenner voice] They want to be caught so bad, I wonder why they even bother lying to me 🙄

Check it out:

Eyes go first. No twisting or broken limbs. That is JA's attack style. It's not even close to Vecna style.

If you're like me, you'll go:

"Oh, but James! Look at the body behind JA! The eyes are missing, and a couple of the other bodies look like their bones might be broken."

And you'd be right!

I'm not particularly concerned about that in relation to JA, though, since: a) We know a lot of the backdrop is divorced from the actual action (as I mentioned in here irt blood and impact crater separation), and multiple different corpse positions appear within the same jumpsuit, and there are multiple versions of corpses with non-twisted limbs:

(Top Left: JA with two different poses for the "same" corpse. Top Middle: Proving that the top-left photo is, indeed, of JA. Top Right: Two different versions of the "same" corpse with non-broken limbs. Bottom left: The corpse by the shelf goes from broken to unbroken based on relative position to the mirror. Bottom right: Much the same as Bottom Left, corpses go from broken to unbroken based on Brenner's presence.)

As far as I know...as of right now, we haven't found a solid, all-encompassing pattern in the surrounding bodies in relation to the all the jumpsuits.

b) We quite literally just witnessed the pattern of his kill style in the swing-around shot.

And, while I can't 100% confirm that either of these bodies belong to JA, since we don't have confirmation of JA with any non-twisted limb bodies...Once again, I have to ask:

Are the breaking bones in the room with us right now? Because I personally didn't see any twisted, snapped bones.

And here?

Well, well...

Yes, I'm aware those are both across camera cuts. And no, I can't 100% confirm which of the Ones killed those Twos. There may be multiple that don't kill Vecna-style!

It's entirely possible that most of them don't kill Vecna-style, and the Vecna makeup is just an overlay (maybe one that glitches or has missing uploads within NINA. Not a Duffers production error, but an HNL production error).

I will say that JA is the strongest candidate for being one of those non-Vecna-style guys, though.

"Maybe you just caught JA too early in the process for breaking bones?"

I mean, maybe, sure! I can acknowledge that possibility.

It's still not the limbs-first style, though. The order is all wrong, and it still doesn't match what we're shown in the attack on El, gown discrepancy aside. When JA's attacking El, we see the isolated limb-twisting bit before we see the eyes. Meanwhile his attack on Two starts with the eyes. Two's eyes bleed, and his limbs are still intact.

That means JA likely isn't responsible for the limb-twisting bits in the attack on El.

So, my point remains the same: There's at least one One who doesn't attack Vecna-style, and instead attacks like TFS "Henry"—Eyes bloody off the bat, bones not targeted. JA is the strongest candidate I've seen for being one of them. (Put a pin in this. I'm going to talk about it later.)

That supports the two distinct attack styles I was talking about here.

Two does have the cloudy, Vecna-ish eyes, though, and somebody's bones are snapping somewhere...So I genuinely wouldn't be shocked if this, like the gate/dematerialization shot (which I talked about in here), is a dual-outcome overlay of the two attack styles. (More on this in a bit! Hold onto this thought.)

Now, I want to go a layer deeper.

Keeping all that in mind, I want to talk about this bit the released 4.07 script:

Let me explain.

Baby El, per the script, is through the mirror, which tracks with this jumpsuit discrepancy:

JA and JC are both on teen El's side of the mirror. JE is a "through the mirror" jumpsuit, placing him with Baby El.

You know who else is actually "through the mirror", both in script and on film?

JD, who, like JE, we only see when we push through the mirror:

And he is, as predicted, associated with a baby El.

I originally thought they had cut that second "through the mirror" bit when they changed to have One break the mirror instead of just being pinned to it, and that we were just seeing baby El in teen El's place.

They didn't cut it, and we have no idea if what Baby El does is the same as whatever Teen El's doing on the other side of the mirror while we can't see her.

So, tl;dr: JE and JD are definitely different from JA and JC, not just based on jumpsuit, but also by location relative to the mirror and the associated ages of their Els.

JD and JE exist through the mirror (read: with baby El). JA and JC exist not through the mirror (read: with teen El).

Which...All of this becomes even funnier when you look at this guy, the only time we see baby El's face and a One who's still somewhat recognizable on screen together in this sequence:

And like...first off, it's straight up not the same guy. Second off, they're hiding his identity from us.

Just look.

And even at the most surface-level? Look at the hair. He's not the same guy.

Stunt double, 3D-model, either way. All of this could and arguably should be lined up properly, based on the VFX team's capabilities. Both guys are being dematerialized, but they're not the same guy. I just can't tell you with any certainty which guy he is.

However, this all means the guy we see together on screen with baby El here? He may very well be the guy watching her here:

The mirror matches, and it's totally different from JD, who gets this:

(He has the mirror going the opposite way.)

And because he's through the mirror with baby El, this mystery man could be JE, since he's not JD. Again, I just can't say for sure because all we see of JE is his chest and left side, but all we see of secret third guy is his right side, which is so far away that I don't feel comfortable making a claim re: his identity...and JE is deliberately shot mirrored so as not to reveal his right side.

They're deliberately hiding his identity re: jumpsuit pattern. If I could see his chest, or even parts of his arms, I could tell you for sure which One he is. But I can't...so. Here we are, missing variables.

Shaking the Duffers until they drop loot (J?'s jumpsuit pattern).

Anyway!

Remember when I said they were hiding baby Els from us? This is what I'm talking about. Two different guys, two different girls, and they're deliberately hiding both the face blood of one of the Els and the jumpsuit pattern of the One with her.

Now, remember that those few thoughts I asked you to put pins in? The ones about the mirror being kept in frame with JA, not being able to confirm which One killed that intact-limbs Two, and Two's possible dual-overlay/bones snapping somewhere?

Yeah. This is where all that comes in: The Speculation.

JA and JC are on teen El's side of the mirror. JD and JE...and secret third jumpsuit...are on baby El's side of the mirror.

We can confirm that JA takes the eyes first (read: he doesn't attack Two or El in the bone-breaking/Vecna style), and keeping that mirror in frame during the attack on El implies that someone on the other side of it (read: with baby El) should attack the same way. This supports the theory that we're missing a baby El with the squeezed bloody eye pattern, likely the same baby El that we see in BTS pictures.

Can I say with 100% certainty that JA doesn't break bones? No. However...For the moment, I can comfortably hypothesize (say, 65% certainty), that he's the not the one breaking bones on teen El's side of the mirror.

A logical hypothesis based on that is that Jumpsuit-C Guy (the later Brenner-faced One who's purported by the show to have become Vecna) is the one breaking bones/attacking Vecna-style on teen El's side of the mirror.

All these timelines, the different jumpsuits, seem to be happening simultaneously. It's not a massive stretch for me to hypothesize that this factor is what's contributing to the phantom bone-snapping sound and cloudy eyes we see on Two, despite Jumpsuit-A Guy not snapping his bones (much the same as the dual overlay with the gate and the dematerialization).

We're not shown any concrete evidence as to what kill style JE uses, nor do we have any hard conclusions in regard to his fate, but based on his location relative to the mirror, I'm comfortable hypothesizing that he might be this weird, mystery One with the Vecna-eyes baby El. They don't let us see which attack style JD uses or which baby El eye-blood pattern he's associated with. However, based on the conclusion that he's likely not the guy associated with Vecna-eyes baby El...for the moment, I feel comfortable hypothesizing that he does not attack in the bone-breaking/Vecna-style way, and instead attacks squeeze-style and is associated with the BTS-only Baby El.

This is further supported by the fact that a) JD and Hallway Guy seem to be the same person, and Hallway Guy quick-kills the same way El does:

It would stand to reason, then, that his slow kills would be similar to hers.

b) JD goes on to become Mindflayer Guy, not Vecna

(Left: JC, who's smash-cut to Vecna. Right: JD, who's shown shaping the MF)

So, to kind of sum all that up:

JA: Definitely on teen El's side of the mirror, associated with right-hip blood and squeezed bloody eyes teen El. He's probably one of the guys who has an attack style that doesn't break bones first/the squeeze-style attack. We don't know where he ends up, but he may be linked to the Mindflayer.

JC: Definitely on teen El's side of the mirror, possible associated with left-hip blood and twisting limbs Teen El. He may be one of the guys who breaks bones first. He supposedly becomes BrenVecna.

JD: Definitely on Baby El's side of the mirror, never seen on Teen El's side. Associated with mystery blood Baby El. No confirmed attack style, but based on the secretive behavior irt: Baby El's eye blood, he may be one of the guys with an attack style that doesn't break bones/the squeeze-style attack. He's Mindflayer guy.

JE: Baby El's side of the mirror, never seen on Teen El's side. No confirmed attack style or associations. May be associated with Vecna-eyes Baby El, given the secrecy around the mystery man's jumpsuit pattern, which means he may be a bone-breaking guy. We don't know where he ends up, but he may linked to Vecna.

If you made it this far you're automatically stronger than the US Marines. Gold star for all of you.

#st nina project #st project one #timeline theory #st costuming #st makeup #st set design #st: tfs #tfs spoilers

[thecheshirerat]

a Bridge Season?

Thinking about season 3, folks. And the more I ponder it, the more I am utterly befuddled by the idea that season 2 is a bridge season.

Because if someone says "Yeah, we had a sequel planned for the book- but we need a bridge season to get to that starting place for the series." You anticipate that the setup for the sequel was all in the book, but some crucial bits of that setup were cut for TV. You think, ok, so this bridge season- season 2- will mostly be highlighting things that were in the book which were cut from season 1, combined with things that might have ended up in the prologue of book 2, with some fun extra bits for the sake of a coherent narrative.

There was a lot of "fun extra bits," but for the most part? That's. Not what season 2 was.

Season two was a lot of things- I like to describe it as a love letter, to the fandom, to Terry, to all the people involved in making the show- but it's hardly any of the things I listed above. There's some touching on book-things left out of the show, I can't think of any good examples now, but a lot of it is new!

And those new things made waves, that's absolutely sure! Season 3 will start from a very different place than season 1 ended. Aziraphale's in heaven. Crowley's a mess. Gabriel and Beelzebub are a thing. Muriel's running the bookshop.

But none of those could POSSIBLY have been crucial for season 3 to work.

It would have been pretty wild for 668: The Neighbor of the Beast (the proposed title of the book sequel) to have begun with Aziraphale suddenly in the position of Supreme Archangel. Even if they had a little explanation in the early chapters, it would have been weird- in the first book, there's very little in terms of heavenly politics. It would've been equally weird to have Crowley a mess over their off-page breakup. If that was why season 2 was necessary, Book Omens would've needed a bridge too!

Additionally, from what we know of the planned book, Crowley and Aziraphale were originally planned to work together- I lost the post where this was summarized so long ago, but I vaguely remember mention of them road-tripping across America, which will have to be changed now.

So their whole fight- the consequences of the final fifteen? We can assume that was all Gaiman.

Gabriel was practically a footnote in the book, so it would be wild for his and Beelzebub's absence to be fundamental to season 3- and we know Neil got the idea to canonize ineffable bureaucracy after season 1 was put out.

Maggie and Nina were involved because Neil wanted Maggie and Nina on the set (he's said that too). (I could find sources for all of these things if I went looking, but I'm very tired right now.)

Saraqael was added.

Muriel morphed out of a character Neil said was originally Aziraphale's replacement on Earth, but who he made nice because he was sick of writing about mean angels- so, Muriel could be fulfilling a season 3 role set up for that heaven's-replacement character he mentioned- but they probably weren't at the center of the plot, if Neil and Terry had left the character mostly unplanned.

The flashbacks are either follow-ups to flashbacks introduced in season 1 (1941, for instance), unlikely to be relevant (the Resurrectionists) or very unlikely to contain key plot details (the Job minisode, which was written by John Finnemore without much input from Neil at all).

So what was introduced in Season 2 that makes a transition from book-sequel to show-sequel smoother? Dear Reader, I have no idea. I am not a particularly good theorist, just someone who is pretty sure none of these words [this season] was in the bible [original book].

I just keep coming back to the thought that if the start of season 3 was also the planned start of 668 (and we know it won't be), they would've written a trilogy. Because they would have needed a bridge there, too.

I don't doubt that season 2 was necessary to bridge the gap- and I love it, even if it wasn't necessary, I love it and if Neil wants it back he can pry it from my cold dead hands- I'm sure it was, in some way that we have no way of understanding yet. It must all be in his authorial, ineffable plan, because that's where I am with this, I GUESS. But when he says this was a bridge season to something he and Terry had planned out before season 1 ever aired, I'm clueless.

#if someone sees something I don't please. tell me #i'm out here asking questions that I don't know the answer to #just like a certain #just like- #you know #good omens #Cheshi squeaks #good omens s2 #good omens meta #good omens s3 #gos3 speculation #ineffable fandom #good omens s3 speculation #Neil gaiman

[marta-bee]

Some caveats: I'm nursing a headcold today, so taking off work and more than a bit confuzzled from decongestants. I also 100% recognize what I'm about to say probably wasn't what Neil and P-Terry had in mind. But what is the internet for if not sharing our theories and thoughts just because we can?

So with that rather large grain of salt in mind, I want to talk about Good Omens (obviously), and medieval philosophy (equally obviously from me), and specifically what might have driven Aziraphale's fall. I'm using that term with a bunch of caution flags in my mind, because I don't think it's wholly accurate for angels, but there's definitely something going on with Aziraphale's character because he's changing and growing. Theologically, angels are supposed to start out good and stay that way, so any change can only be a step away from that ideal.

That's the standard view in most medieval Christian philosophy. I don't actually agree and think the possibility of change is what makes life worthwhile. (How boring, to be perfect with nowhere to go!) But my point is if the Aziraphale we meet in Eden is different from the one who says "after you!" outside a bookshop in Soho, that's .... not management-approved angel behavior, to put it mildly. Whatever he's changing into.

(I should probably add a third caveat: I've still not seen the second season, so I'm thinking mainly in terms of Good Omens the book and the first series storyline, and what little of the second series I've gleaned from the Tumblr ecosystem.)

Here's the part that fascinates me. Crowley's fall is a very familiar story if you grew up around Protestant Christianity, even culturally. Humans first sinned when they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; when they lost their innocence and understood morality. And Crowley fell because he was just asking questions. That either means he's trying to understand things he should have just accepted, or he's questioning if they really should be that way, or both. In either case it's a very knowledge-based form of falling.

I don't get that vibe from Aziraphale. If anything, what drives him to change is he loves too extravagantly. I'm reminded of this bit from Augustine's On Christian Doctrine:

But living a just and holy life requires one to be capable of an objective and impartial evaluation of things: to love things, that is to say, in the right order, so that you do not love what is not to be loved, or fail to love what is to be loved, or have a greater love for what should be loved less, or an equal love for things that should be loved less or more, or a lesser or greater love for things that should be loved equally.

Put more simply, we're supposed to love things that are good, and love them in proportion to how good they are. Love God unconditionally and without restraint; love other things as a reflection of God, to the extent they reflect Him. It all reminds me of nothing so much of Othello's famous description of himself: "one that loved not wisely, but too well."

And if that's not Aziraphale to a tee. It's not just that (if I may be allowed my shipper's goggles), is head over heels in love with an actual demon. He also loves the niceties of the created world so durned much: sushi, and crepes, and music that's not The Sound of Music, and all the rest. He loves it so much he'll do nearly anything to protect it, to keep it in existence, even if it means toeing the line over what God Herself actually wants. And loving the created thing so much we value it even above God, which Aziraphale is getting very close to doing, in spirit even if he keeps finding clever ways to avoid actually crossing the line? That's one of the ways Augustine actually defines sin. From The City of God:

These are thy gifts; they are good, for thou in thy goodness has made them. Nothing in them is from us, save for sin when, neglectful of order, We fix our love on the creature, instead of on thee, the Creator.

There's something delightfully queer about all this, or at least something I suspect resonates with a lot of queer peoples' experience. It's not that Aziraphale loves a male-presenting character, or even a demon, but that he loves so carelessly, so extravagantly, he loves everything and not just the things he's been told he should love. And that's enough to stop the apocalypse. To catapult him firmly past your or my side to ours.

And if that's not a delicious and true-to-character way to start his fall, I don't know what is.

#theology #marta blathers #good omens #aziraphale #philosophy #really this should all be taken with a large grain of thought and i can't promise I'll hold to any of this tomorrow #still the thought is an intriguing one

[fractualized]

I totally see where you're coming from with how you like your mix of comedy and seriousness and I think I'm really similar! I can definitely tolerate a lot of cheese but I'll almost always consider it a one off situation. I recently rewatched Batman and Robin while my wife was making a cast of my body so we could make cosplay and it was just so funny and silly that like it reminded me of what one of those really campy comics would look like in real life and I respected the fact that they could commit to it that way and make an artful movie that brought that to life but there were a few elements that didn't make sense to me like Barbara being Alfred's niece that I was just like whatever man and I knew I couldn't like... use it as a foundation for my basis of characterization, like I can with other media! I really love the animated series too, I grew up with it being my first experience with Batman and I always really respected it as a medium that I could trust to be satisfying and whole. I also really really liked Batman beyond because it felt like the closest continuation of that story even though I know it's really not canon and it kind of doesn't work, I like to view it as like a semi-official what if fan fiction from the original writers lol

I completely get what you mean about the comics, cuz I kind of view official comics like fanfictions even in their own right? I mean when you think back on like Bill finger and Bob Kane like eventually every other writer is going to be writing fanfiction of their characters but it's really fun to go through all the different Batman media and see whose stories you kind of like more and then whose stories you kind of tend to avoid

and when I mentioned I knew you liked comics, I was also speaking more from the perspective that you seem to have more knowledge about them Rather than I thought you had a preference for them, because you put together that comic PDF with batjokes moments and I was really impressed with that ☺️

i love your telltale fics and the games as a beautiful breath of fresh air into the life of batman so sometimes I like to imagine the animated series would be a great way to say where is juce 10 years later, if those universes were more cohesive setting wise lmao

Yeah, Barbara randomly being Alfred's niece is definitely one of the aspects of B&R that just… I guess it breaks up the campiness? That and Ivy being in love with Freeze for no discernable reason. And teaming up with him even though he'll kill her plants. And poor Bane! And then that weird bit at the end where Freeze is sort of forgiven but Ivy can't be? And Alfred almost dies. Should taken all that stuff out and added more camp.

I really enjoyed Batman Beyond too! I didn't even realize a lot of people didn't like it until recently. Honestly it's one of those things where I don't look into the reasons too much. lol I liked it and I'm fine with having liked it, no notes!! (OK I sorta lied. That bit in JLU where they made Bruce Terry's bio dad, that was bizarre.)

I am definitely in the "anything not created by Bill Finger and Bob Kane might as well be fanfic" camp. Like, sure, if DC puts resources behind a project, it has a better chance at being worth your time, but when I get down to it, I can't put a lot of weight behind the idea that someone's official derivative story is more valid than another someone's derivative AO3 post just because there was a cash exchange with a company that owns the original "asset." People who want to lean into that idea, that's their business.

The wild thing about the batjokes spreadsheet is I know that it's only a fraction of what's out there. I have read hundreds of comics at this point and I still feel like it's not enough to totally have a handle on things. Especially knowing how little I've retained. 😅 But that's another reason for the spreadsheet!

Thank you for enjoying my fics! And for implanting the idea in my head of a Telltale universe animated series… Just hijinks and maybe a little more murder with John and Bruce, bestest buddies.

#ask #my jibber-jabber

[quodekash]

Viren sucks but also maybe kind of not?

Hello there friend! If you haven’t seen a post by me before, you should know that this is part of a series I’m calling “tdp rambles with bj” (me being bj (which is a nickname ive had since I was 3)), you absolutely don’t have to read the others to understand each one, each part is individual. But if you liked some of the things I talk about or the way I’ve analysed things, you are very welcome to check out the tag (it’ll be the top tag for this post) and have a look at some of the other stuff I’ve done! You don’t have to, I just thought you might like to if you enjoyed this. Thanks!!

Anyway, into the analysis! (It’s a lot longer than I initially thought it was so brace yourselves)

(Also, once again, apologies in advance for the bad quality photos)

“Each of you standing here today, you betray humanity!” 

It’s interesting to me that he uses the word “standing”, because in that moment, Viren is actually the only one standing. Everyone else, they’re sitting down. They haven’t done anything to betray humanity. But Viren, he’s standing. He’s trying to destroy what last little dregs of hope there are left to bond with Xadia. 

And (I think) we rarely ever see Viren sitting. He’s always standing. Sure, he sits sometimes, like once when inspecting the mirror. He sits on a horse. He sits dramatically on the throne. But most of the time, he’s standing. Most of the time, he’s betraying humanity. (And arguably when he’s sitting he’s still actively betraying humanity but that doesn’t go towards my point/metaphor thing so we’re ignoring that) 

But then in season 4, he’s sitting. A lot. I know he was just dead so he’s low on energy. But in most scenes, he’s sitting on the ground, letting Claudia and Terry (but mostly Claudia) do all the work. 

(And I was saving this particular ramble for later for continuity, but who cares about chronology, barely anyone’s gonna see this anyway so I might as well do it out of order, so.) LETS TALK ABOUT VIREN 

First and foremost I want it to be known that overall I still hate Viren, he’s horrible, he’s abusive, he’s a terrible father, he’s manipulative, and he kills butterflies to make his face normal. 

Ah but… that last thing. He kills butterflies to make his face normal. All throughout the entire show, from episode 1, we see him using dark magic to hide the effects dark magic has had on him (physically, at least, but the physical reflects the internal so it really doesn’t matter). But then, in season 4, his face is normal. And he uses no dark magic at all. 

Now, I could go on a rant about how this is a social commentary and it’s about society and society sucks cos it makes us change ourselves physically to appease to what is socially accepted but I won’t. 

Instead, let’s talk about… uh, not that. 

So. A lot of the time while watching seasons 1-3, I think about how carefree Viren was in all of those flashback scenes, and how… he definitely wasn’t a good person, but I felt like I could kind of see why Harrow kept him around for so long. But then in all the present day scenes he was horrible and mean and smelly and eugh. And then, after two years of being dead, he’s so different. 

I’m absolutely certain, and you cannot change my mind on this (well… maybe you can but I highly doubt it), that Viren was a good person. But all good people have bad parts. And dark magic affects what’s inside, especially after such a long time. The dark magic made all the bad parts inside him deepen and grow, until the good parts were hidden under the surface. But there’s still some hope, the good stuff is still there, slightly visibile! But then Aaravos came along. And the good parts were drowned, buried so deep they shrunk, and then you couldn’t see them at all. Still there, but so small even he didn’t know they were there. 

And then he died. He didn’t have dark magic swirling through his system, affecting his every being. He didn’t have Aaravos whispering in his ear, influencing him, manipulating him, making those bad parts grow. He just existed. (But I suppose he didn’t exist because he was dead?) 

He just… floated, I guess. Not alive. So he couldn’t be affected by anything at all. 

And I think a lot of those bad parts slowly started disappearing. But, since he was dead, there was no way for the good parts to grow. So in season 4, there’s these tiny  little nuggets of good hidden in this expanse of nothingness, and the occasional drifting badness. He’s so empty inside now, and I think over time he can improve and grow those good parts, he just hasn’t had a chance yet. 

And yeah, there was that part at the end where Viren did some dark magic again. But then, immediately, in the credits you see the little sketches, and two or three of them are Viren collapsing and Claudia and Terry trying to hold him up.

The dark magic was so sudden, so different to the emptiness of two years. The darkness in the abyss was starting to take over, and it grew so dramatically and he couldn’t handle it. Maybe the little nuggets of good act like white blood cells, fighting off the disease of dark magic, and made him pass out as a defence strategy. Kind of like sneezing. Dust (or something that’s not supposed to be in your nose) gets in your nose, so your body tries to forcefully get it out and makes you sneeze. And I’m just realising when Callum uses dark magic for the first time, it overwhelms him and he passes out. So it’s possible that Viren’s gonna have a dream that mirrors what happened to Callum and he’s gonna have an epiphany and truly realise that dark magic isn’t the way? 

But yeah, there’s so much emptiness inside him, and there’s just tiny little good pebbles, but then a sudden cloud of darkness blew over, and it was such a dramatic change to what he’d been for two years, that his body needed to conserve energy in order to fight the darkness (or at least try and get used to it) so it made him pass out. 

Claudia, though… she’s had Aaravos whispering in her ear for two whole years. “[She] had do to things [she] never imagined [she] was capable of doing.” And each one of those indescribable horrible things made the bad parts grow, the good parts shrink. 

Her hair is a good representation of it. The darkness hasn’t taken over her completely, there’s still that smidgen of hope. It’s not as extreme as it was for Viren, where his entire face looked completely different. Claudia’s hair is only about 50% taken over, which means her… soul, I guess, is only 50% taken over by darkness. But I think that’s only because she was doing the most extreme dark magic things for people she loved, i.e. saving soren, saving viren. So there’s those good parts, the parts that care for her family and friends. But they’re almost faded. They’re there, but faded. Like, if the good parts were a colour, let’s say yellow, hers would be less of a canary and more of a light goldenrod that’s breaking apart into smaller pieces. So overall it’s still about 50%, but rather than a whole lot of it super vivid, it’s really light and broken up. Like it could all disappear at any given moment.  And with Aaravos having been inside her head for two whole years, it’s like he’s constructed a fragile bridge out of her good parts, and bounced on it with all his might. 

There’s probably more to talk about, but I’ve been trying to figure out what that is for four days and still haven’t gotten there, so if I think of it later I’ll make another post or something. 

There’s only two rambles with bj left (that I currently have planned, but there’s probably gonna be more coming), and they’re the biggest ones so I keep putting it off.  One of them is a whole analysis of why Viren is a horrible father (specifically to Soren but also to Claudia but more-so to Soren), and there’s so much research and specific screenshots I need to find for it and I will do it I just haven’t found the motivation yet  And the other is an entire explanation of why Terry and Claudia’s relationship feels weird and my thoughts of Terry and currently the title is “everything to do with Terry” and I’m pretty sure that one’s also gonna be a long one that’ll take a lot of time cos I’ve personally never been in a romantic relationship so I might need to do research and ask people things and rewatch season 4 a million times to psychoanalyse Terry and figure out What His Deal is cos I have no clue as of right now and I’ll need to figure that out for that post and yeah. 

So don’t expect anything big from me in terms of tdp for the next little while. They will be there, just not until I can find my motivation. (Which sucks cos I’ve literally had a whole week of absolutely nothing and so much time and so much energy but no motivation at all, and I just know I’m only gonna feel like doing it when I finally have something going on.) 

Anyway that’s that, Viren sucks but also he’s kinda getting better and it’s confusing me so much pls I’m trying to hate him, I’ll post more at some point, I love you all, have a great day, bye! 

#tdp rambles with bj #tdp #the dragon prince #the dragon prince season 4 spoilers #tdp season 4 spoilers #viren #lord Viren #stuff you viren #viren tdp #claudia #tdp claudia #claudia tdp #I’m confused

[the-firebird69]

Swedish House Mafia - Greyhound

This is where the Max and foreigners and our teams and some of the miscellaneous bring their A game.

Zues Hera

And we don't really have that and we know it so it's going to suck. What we hear is these are celestials and there are some Galactus and Galactica and some eternals and they're different he says it's also angels that they call that it's from a Jager cartoon actually is the animated series and their massively wicked and the max know about it and they say they need it and some women headed out to the Mediterranean and came back huge I'm feeling better and now I don't feel good I said if he was eating the food he would feel too good and be gigantic and he'd be in his Juggernaut format and nobody would go near him except for your idiot Terry cheesman who knows I wouldn't do anything if he didn't even if he had the most powerful handgun on Earth with him well it's not but that one it probably wouldn't do much with lead and he says wow that's good

Bja

I don't think I'd be the only one John remillard would be right behind me and far too close if I stop suddenly

Terry

C

I can't stand this anymore I know you've got a certain skill set sure I would be right behind you buddy Dan would be right behind me I need to reach down say three is better than one and pinch us off I didn't really want to be that big and he's saying we're chicken s*** in it and you say you just have to see The Three stooges everything will be fine that's great I'm looking forward to that it's supposed to be in March and I think that's coming up it says it's a generic format and he doesn't know much about it it sounds logical it's got more impurities and it would drop earlier and we know it would and it calculations are about 8 years or even less but it's in a lipoma and we studied that it takes the exact time and you're saying it would come out and that would stop and come out and that's true too and but after a few months it will all be gone so he's wondering what would happen cuz he'll go on full tilt which might take only a few months for him to reach maximum height

Trump

True too someone come out later but it's in lipoma and it stores it better and they did studies and found that some of it last a year or longer cuz it's got no air and it's not broken the seal and that's what it is so he's going to grow and then not grow then grow and give me frustrating A little but not much to say I'm already big enough I can't fit in anything these people are all small people inspired to grow bigger and fix things

Thor Freya

Really John remillard and company messed up we have the three doing an act where he is Chris and we're trying to recover the stocks and use him and yeah we want to do it again but okay and yeah we're a silly people it's kind of obvious

Mike tew

It's a lot of winners out here today sneak a little b****** and they suck but really this is going to make a lot of sense coming up pretty quick and it's about a huge balls over theirs and you can't handle them with anything but a biomechanical creature humanoid or otherwise and the max are already saying it so we have to go investigate

Bja

They would hold off and use him but now they're a bunch of jerks and losers who thought they would have the pole position I can't believe my own people did it suck he says I'm playing pressure on them but still they had that done

Mac daddy

You think JC and Mary had something to do with it in the screwing around with everything and everything came out and it's bad so you want to bring him in and we want to try him and convict him if he's guilty and his brother says of course he's guilty you're pushing him and pushing him it's one guy and you pushed him too hard and you made too many clowns and they push him too hard and you're getting pushed too hard by the clowns I always see that that's kind of what it is cuz they're sitting there annoying him all day

Macs

It's not really about hate it's about you guys not doing the right thing and making screw UPS into a habit and more and it's really obscene and you not understanding it it's not a surprise. If you go around pushing him being so far they end up falling like Trump and they do stupid things and they're different characters and they do stupid things as different characters and it's absolutely true and it is entirely your fault as a group I don't say everything is I'm saying that you're pushed too far and you just kept on pushing yourselves and turned into a nightmare and the max think they can overcome it but a lot of things went a little far she'd have something to name what though ask the max to name what went too far

Zues Hera

We have some several times and they can't name too much so here we go

Bja

Yup

Trump

We're going down there now

Brad

No kidding but we really have to

Jason

Yeah we need to know

Mac daddy

Olympus

This is what's awful it's a good time though it's too hot there's too many people and he's already sore that he's going to head back and try to eat something more that's helpful stop being taking a break

Thor Freya

Haha my husband says Thor and Freya know about it and then he needs to break helping cuz he's sore he thinks it'll be good

Hera

We have a lot to announce in a moment Thor friend

#Youtube

[terramythos]

Mort by Terry Pratchett Reading Notes

Full Review Here!

So this book also opens with a young person and their parents. As did Equal Rites which I need to restart 

Ok so I didn't take notes as methodically as usual to start But as with Guards Guards it is very funny, with jokes that just keep coming back when you don't expect them. Lots of good bits and parallels 

And the fucking MORPHOGENETIC FIELD fuck 

-i like Mort but he's most certainly going to do some Dumb Shit. He is also very blank slate in terms of protagonists. His most consistent trait is reminding people about his name. Which I imagine will have some payoff 

-I find some of the parallels funny like death clearly taking on Mort to maybe get together with his adopted daughter after his dad talked about that exact thing (in that context seemingly ridiculous). I hope there's more to it than that however. 

-and I do wonder about how succession with Death would even work. As I'm pretty sure Death in this book is the same entity in the whole series 

-not to make this elder scrolls but I guess they could do something like Sheogorath where you Become that person in every significant way after inheriting the role from them. I'm sure there's a better comparison/example lol 

-but Mort could just be a. Friend or something. Which would also be fine 

-I'm sure sexy witch won't be a Thing at all later  

-Listeners hear every sound in Discworld? 

-"light dawned on Mort, but very slowly" lmao 

-ok Death showing up to someone who perpetually reincarnates is a little bit funny. What Is the point 

-'cut the heir with a knife' what a pun. Insane 

- interesting to frame Mort saving Keli from her perspective. So we don't know exactly what he thought as he did it. And this was presumably a Very Bad Thing since she was supposed to die and he killed the assassin instead? 

-so many anachronistic similies and metaphors. I guess that is appropriate for this book specifically 

-also idk if this is relevant at all. But Keli not dying has a big butterfly effect, obviously. But what about the assassin? Who were they? How would their death change things? 

-i have to imagine no one really noticing you exist suddenly without being FULLY non existent would be pretty awful 

-"there's no justice. There's just you" will this come around again to a "just us" 

-ok Ysabelle kinda goth. Which like obviously, but nice  

-oops! You made a split timeline 

-theres something interesting about this? Border? Between realities an 'interface'. Cause that has a very specific meaning in 2024, but I bet it read different in 1987. At least a little 

-i like the narrative dropping A Big Hint for the reader by noting how the character did not notice it 

-the description of how Mort has changed might be The Quote 

-a fan of something being so real it's uncanny. Especially in the realm of fiction. Gives me Inkheart thoughts 

-ok the whole thing with Mort being able to walk through doors and walls was introduced EARLY and continues to be so. And Death seemed to consider it normal. But what causes it? Why does it only work sometimes? 

-this is a fairly familiar plot where you change 1 thing in history and everything else changes as a butterfly effect. The main difference so far is it being a delayed reaction. I want to see if Pratchett does something different with it otherwise 

-capital L Logic "taking the night off too" 

-so a split timeline will heal itself but Mort is going to fuck it up again? 

-a fucking island named KRULL? No way, no fucking way. Hold on I have to look something up 

-2 thing I learned googling Krull: the MOVIE Krull came out in 1983, 4 years before this book. So it is very plausible Pratchett knew of it. Second thing is Liam Neeson was in it, which I was somehow unaware of or forgot 

-"why did you save me?" "... for later" God damn why is Pratchett clever 

-Mort suddenly scary! And here I think is the first bit where he doesn't say "Mort" when someone calls him boy. Instead he's scary about it. So. That's a fun play on what I expected. 

-we have. Switched to present tense. I see 

-im not sure what this revelation about Malich is supposed to be implying. Maybe I missed something. I think the only person we don't know anything about it Deaths butler? Guy? 

-oh yeah. Albert is his name. And the famous wizard is Alberto Malich. So Death like. Adopted a famous wizard who's now like. A cook? 

-my biggest area of criticism with this book is I just have zero investment in Mort's obsession with this random princess. Like it's an objectively stupid thing to cause so much trouble over. Doesn't even know her. Maybe that's the point but it's hard with no investment whatsoever in it 

-A PET SWAMP DRAGON??? I UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE (read: the only other book I've read in this series) 

-trying to imagine how shooting Mort would even work. 

-it is difficult to convey how clever & funny Death's alternate typeface is when it shows up unexpectedly. Just an oh shit moment every time. 

-'if you win, you will [do this] ' 'and if I lose?' 'You will wish you had won' what a fucking threat lmao 

-update: shooting Mort did not work. 

-i know this book predates "bucket list" as a term but that is nevertheless what Death seems to be doing 

-god I thought the bit was gonna be that Death can't get drunk and then he DOES halfway through the scene. Then manually stops being drunk

-bartender: 'well at least this weird hooded figure seems to be harmless' (it's literally Death)

-no way can Albert be a wizard, he doesn't wear a wizard hat! So true bestie 

-i know Ysabell is probably like The Actual Love Interest but it is a little cute that Mort got so angry at people not using his name but went back to just correcting when Ysabell did it 

-theres a whole shelf! Aw fuck do we have a doctor who situation or some shit 

-no he's just been alive that long ig. Wonder if this character shows up elsewhere 

-Death at a job broker.... 

-Oh my GOD *THAT* was the payoff for the "Mort." bit! A fucking typeface wham line. Jesus christ that's good lmao  

-"Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe" either sounds like a quote from some ancient philosopher or an 80s prog rock album. But nope, Pratchett. 

-ysabell girlboss 

-kinda feel bad for Death finding happiness and the implication being he can't keep it. Unless Mort does actually become Death 

-and there's the idea of becoming real becoming more like death. All in a fictional story of course. 

-ok I am Compelled, finally, by Morts transformation. 

-i do really like how the "Mort." bit has extended throughout the book to convey his character arc and even got integrated into the storytelling in a meta way with the Death typeface. 

-this presents the idea of a human becoming Death as Really Bad because if you apply human morality and emotion to it, Death becomes cruel. Which sounds philosophical as fuck and all, but it brings to mind all the terrible things humans have done when inflicting death on others. It is comforting to think of Death as neutral from the perspective of an uncaring universe-- all things die, no matter what, but likewise, its hard as a human to see Death that way within the context of lives and experiences. 

-but there is some positivity to the overall story so I am interested to see the "good" side if there is one. I'm not sure there is 

-Mort is a blank slate character, i think intentionally so, so that as he develops we see how his mistakes and the worst sides of his personality manifest as he matures and becomes more Real, like Death. The actual Death character isn't cruel but when Mort is given the opportunity he makes selfish decisions (rescuing Keli) and cruel (how he treats Albert in this scene). So then my question is where do his Best traits manifest? Is it impossible for then to, in this context and with this kind of power? 

-man Mort is so mean to Ysabell. 

-the fucking speech check war between the Emperor and Vizier was pretty funny 

-oh hey, The Librarian cameo. And.. Albert called him a monkey. Oh dear. Also isn't Rincewind a protag in another series 

-"THERE'S NO JUSTICE," said Mort. "THERE'S JUST US."  --- Oh my god I fucking called it I CALLED IT I KNEW they were gonna use that line holy shit 

-"You are whatever you think you are" hell yeah 

-at least Ysabell punched Mort in the face. He kind of deserved it 

-shout out to The Librarian killing Albert lmfao 

-the elephant gets drunk and sees pink people 

-i mean good for the elephant going home. Ok king 

-i like the implication that the speed of night is faster than the speed of light 

-oh so we do get to play a game with Death? At the end? 

-"were all lives--from a personal viewpoint-- entirely the same length?" I mean okay damn 

-i like Mort thinking "you'll never beat him... the best we can do is hold him off for a while" about Death, but in the context of like. A duel. 

-i mean YEAH you CAN turn hourglasses over! Obviously! That's how they work! 

-the weight of a pearl, huh 

-I like closing the story with Mort reading his own book and that becoming the last of the narration 

Hmm ok! So I liked it. But have some mixed thoughts. I'll need to gather them together 

First off I loved the writing, Pratchett really was clever and had very unique and humorous ways of saying things. Stuff like "her voice could have kept milk fresh for a month" instead of "her voice was icy". And its not just wordplay but situations themselves. It is difficult to convey just how much clever stuff there is in the book because it would 

overwhelm anything else. I think that this is probably true for most of the Discworld books and is at least in part why they're so beloved. I have a hard time thinking of other writers with quite this knack for clever humor in such a nonstop abundance. There's stuff like this book introducing the detail that every person has a book being written that narrates their life, then closing out the book with Mort reading from his, and then using that as the closing narration. Like that's cool and brilliant. 

I like Morts character arc and how he goes from a blank slate to something more in order to convey how being Death's apprentice changes him. There is also fun worldbuilding and creativity on how Death's actual job works, with the tongue and cheek acknowledgement that even this is a personification and not really real. 

Deaths typeface is used as an honest to God wham line which is probably the only example I've seen of... a font conveying a plot twist. I guess technically this also happens in other Discworld scenes where Death shows up unexpectedly. But in this particular story it's not Death saying it which is why its so shocking. 

My main struggle with Mort is I had a hard time caring about or being invested in the main plot. For example, the inciting incident that kicks off the main plot is Mort making a selfish decision to save the life of a princess who is destined to die, purely because he has a shallow crush on her. I know it's intentional that their relationship doesn't really matter and is just surface level. But theres nothing to make me care about it at all, and when him doing this AND KEEPING IT SECRET FROM DEATH is the main source of narrative tension, it's a problem when I can't find any reason to care about it. 

The plot itself is very... loose I guess. It's a collection of scenes and vignettes a lot of the time that are only tangentially related to the story. Which is fine, but this makes the problem of investment in the story even harder for me. I was suddenly very compelled when Mort started to transform into Death and the personal issues of identity, human behavior, etc that this introduces. It just felt like that's what the story should have been about the whole time. 

Basically what carried me through the book was the clever prose and humorous scenes/situations. Which again, is fine! I definitely enjoyed reading Mort. It just didn't amaze me as a story. 

Probably the funniest thing is you could remove Albert from the story entirely and it wouldn't change anything. Like slightly rework the scene at the University near the end and you're set. It felt like Pratchett realized we needed a villain in the third act and assigned that role to a random side character so Albert was evil, briefly, then not as soon as Death dealt with it. Just felt very oddly paced and structured 

There are loose ends that did not get concluded and I'm not sure if this means they are explored in greater depth later. For example Mort bungles one Death collection and a witch's soul escapes mortality. Another is this persistent idea/theme of what's "real". We explore it a little but never to its conclusion. Mort gets a pearl which is supposedly a piece of reality he created. And there's the idea of one reality happening when it shouldn't and how the universe reacts to it. But it's very mechanical (literally turns into an artifact) and the thematic implications are still up in the air 

Anyway I'm thinking 7/10 cause it was good and a fun read, just didn't floor me

#taylor reads #reading notes

[ophelieceleste]

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites Review

Well, in the interest of getting through some of my TBR pile, I'm thinking of doing little reviews of each as I get through them. This will include books I'm reading as research for various projects, since i might as well try and articulate my thoughts somewhat. We'll see if this gets me to stop mostly reading off Ao3 for a bit. 😅

So, since i just reread Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Fliting with Fangs edition, I might as well get into the swing of things with it. And my, what a book to start with! I have to say, I did put off reading this book for a while after I first heard about it, since I knew it would suck me into it and I had classes, but I ended up reading it over spring break this year and it does not disappoint! This book is an engulfing, flowing read regardless of how many times you have read it. I love the world created for this story, a layered steampunk gothic victorian fantasy. Many of the elements of this book remind me of Terry Pratchett's works, from the explanations of modernesque amenities such as elevators and hearing aids to individual characters who would not be out of place in his books.

Speaking of characters, another element I truly love is the layers of history you can feel between them. Of course, with supernatural beings some have more history overall than others, but even characters newly meeting have marked impressions and reactions that feel implicit to who they are and how they perceive the world around them. Beyond that, we get hints of foreshadowing here and there, some of which are resolved in the book, others teasing future events. It feels as structured and patient in laying the paths of the series as Vlad's attempts to wrest a self-centered nobility into providing for their people.

On our main characters and their relationship, I love, love, love how the set up is going. Only Vlad and Nathan are in a relationship at the end of the book, surreptitious as it must be, but the hints are there for Ursula's inclusion. While we get less time with her at the start, we are still able to get a good idea of what drives her, and more of her personality in the last third of the book. The guys get more time initially, but the pacing and focus makes sense to me, particularly as certain dominos of their relationship needed to happen in order to find the soulution of the 'quest' part of the book.

I could go on and on about this book, but I think I'll leave it a bit vague for anyone who's interested in it. There are so many things to pick out and enjoy about this book, it's almost a hunt-and-find picture book of intriguing characters, world building, and puns. Be very aware of the puns.

I mentioned that this book feels very like Terry Pratchett's works, but I also think that if you enjoy Seanan McGuire's Wayward Children series you'll like this as well. I also want to say, it feels sort of like Tamora Pierce's books? Maybe in the pacing. Probably the closest would be the Terrier books or the Trickster's duology, but that could just be my bias since those are my favorite of her works. Just something about how it flows in such an engulfing read that you firget how long you've been reading for.

Oh yeah, there are two heat levels for this book, Flirting with Fangs and Fluff and Fangs. I haven't read the latter, but I hear it fades to black for anything NSFW. Flirting does not, but there's not a ton of spicy scenes. I liked them, but I know some people aren't about that, so I think it's great that there are options!

That's about it for now, guess I might as well tease the next one, it's a western by another author here on Tumblr! Don't know when I'll be done with it, but I'm really looking forward to reading.

#book review #Tumblr book review #romance #queer romance #hunger pangs: true love bites #seriously read this book i love it so much

[msfbgraves]

Lmao, all this sudden hatred of Terry and his slip up in your fanfiction takes me back way back to 2002 when the Brits made a mini TV series of the Russian classic, Doctor Zhivago. Yuri, the main character, cheats on his lovely, angelic wife Tonya (who he has cute kids with too) with “the slut” Lara. It was a loose adaptation and just okay, but I remember it especially because of the supreme rage comments the cheating got, especially from internet crusaders and trolls. Lara of course got the brunt of it since she’s always been one of literature’s most loathed characters (also because she’s the other woman). 

But the scene that really riled people was when Tonya was giving birth, and nurse Lara helps her—and Tonya realizes that she’s been fucking her husband Yuri. It’s a really awful and hurtful scene and the keyboard warriors had a field day with it back in the day on Y*utube. It was just the final straw for them. Even millions dying in the Russian Revolution and the Gulags didn’t bother them as much. But the cheating—HELL NO! 

I believe it hits a little too close to home. Very few people are afraid their partners may become involved in the mob or the Russian Gulag, but cheating - that could happen! And the Anon asking must have thought it was a possibility, or else why ask? I could have shut that down by "Alphas in their Nature never cheat", but I have already established that Nature isn't absolute. Amanda doesn't 'act' like an omega at all. Some people feel Daniel is not submissive enough for the trope. Well then - isn't it possible for Terry to go against the Alpha nature? If the rule was set in stone in this verse a tempting would never even occur. That would be like tempting a human with a delicious plate of the greenest, freshest spring grass. Useless. Humans don't eat grass. But since Anon already thinks Terry might be tempted, why not explore the possibility? I am demonstrably not the only one who thinks it could happen. And yes, it happens the one time, because Terry thinks he can have a bit of bachelor life back, and immediately realises that no, oh God, no, this actually recommits him to his love completely, and Daniel does not even know it happens, that's suddenly unforgivable? Not what he did for Daniel to actually leave? (Though people are reexamining that mess too!) but a drunken fling that makes him understand how deeply he actually loves his mate? That's what set people off?

There seem to be roughly, two kinds of flavours people want to see for this fic. Many want to see the happy times, yes. But there's also a lot of people constantly coming back to their angsty side. Which is legit. This whole fic is two people working through the fact that their love is built on an act of violence, a violence they have to transform. And this, one, terrible crisis - people have kept picking at that scab in asks. To the discomfort of people wanting the good times. Still, maybe it's easier to not dwell on if you are not afraid you will ever get in the position where edgy but good lovemaking (that people also keep asking for), tips into a bad experience. I can tell you that line in and of itself can also be very thin. Still, maybe that does not feel very immediate. But it surprises me that many people seem to realise that this is what happened between them - all the sexy, edgy, dangerous passion tipping into actual danger mid lovemaking - only when I introduced a danger people can relate to. It seems to put it into terms that hit home.

To me, a drunken, angry fling during a visceral fight is far less damning than what actually happened in the lead up to it. So I was like: "Ah, well, if people can handle that, they'll understand about the cheating."

Guess not!

To me it felt like a possible very ugly outcome of the basis of their marriage. This marriage was Daniel being used to neutralise this side of Terry and he has. But that doesn't mean that side of him is dead. And it came back up and I feel that it is a testament to Daniel's strength and the strength of the love they both built that this could be a litmus test of their bond. This is a betrayal that Daniel will not tolerate and it is really up to Terry now to choose who he is going to be: the one who would hurt Daniel to soothe his ego or the one that would let himself be changed, actually changed, by his love for him?

But you know, people can be self righteous in these scenarios. It's still too easy for Terry to rationalise that he may have been 'in the right' as the Alpha. He already feels he's not, actually, before he cheats, but he's still angry at all the LaRussos, and Daniel for "giving him a hard time". It's the cheating that finally makes it click - this is what I'm risking. This is what I've done. This is so much deeper than my ego and if I have to take my ego out of it, what remains is that I've done something utterly monstrous.

And I have to make amends. Actual amends.

#tw noncon #cw cheating #tw angst

[adultswim2021]

Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil #11: “Monster” | November 12, 2007 - 12:15AM | S01E11

The final Lucy is finally upon us. Thank god.

This episode isn’t terrible by Lucy standards, whatever that means. The story moves, and the humor compliments the story fine. None of it is particularly funny, though. The story is that there’s a big monster attacking San Francisco. DJ Jesus wants to tame it with beat-boxing. Satan wants to capture it and keep it as a pet. The Sam Seder senator guy wants to kill it and become known to voters as the guy who killed the giant monster in San Francisco and saved everyone from certain doom. The Special Fathers and Sister are touring with the Pope and he wants to help out anyway he can. And Lucy, perpetually 7th banana on her own show, becomes the object of the senator’s sexual frustrations as she continually rejects his advances.

It becomes very easy to figure this out, but the senator turns out to be the monster. He wakes up naked on a dock, which typically suggests such a thing, and that thing turns out to be very true. And it’s the sexual frustration that causes the transformation. The monster is essentially the embodiment of the senator’s blue balls. Also, eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed a little foreshadowing in the Human Sacrifice episode - the senator wears a mask that resembles his monstrous form. I actually noticed this and remembered the monster from this episode (which I didn’t watch; I just saw the actual monster itself in promos and in snippets) and thought “huh, I’m guessing that’s foreshadowing?” What a smart guy I am. 

Notable factoids about this episode: this episode marks a return to the pilot’s use of a licensed song for the opening; this time H. Jon Benjamin sings “I Know What Boys Like” by the Waitresses. It didn’t do much for me other than give me the gift of recognition. A lot of the music stuff on this show is always never quite right. The other thing to note is that the end credits feature a scene where Lucy tells her dad that she’s pregnant. There’s a hard cut to credits, implying a cliff-hanger for season 2, but then they have a conversation over the credits where it’s cleared up that she was trying to prank her father when she’s not pleased with his cheery reaction. So, Lucy is NOT enceinte. I genuinely wonder if they chicken out of this reveal or if they knew that the show wasn’t gonna get picked up at this point and decided not to be annoying. Don’t want to give fans the wrong impression that Lucy might have something interesting going on in future episodes.

Despite my clowning on it, that conversation is mildly amusing, and could be the closest the show ever properly got to being Home Movies. But this show wasn’t even Home Movies season 4. But this is perhaps undercut by the lame choice to include rehashed animation of the Monster from the episode clowning around on screen during it. It’s the same sort of feeling I get from when post-classic Simpsons episodes call back a bad joke at the end of an episode, or when Sealab added “Zombie Cat Loves You!” at the end of that one episode. It’s like “oh, our fans are gonna wanna see this guy again!” as if you’re mounting a children’s theater production of Lucy. I did not want to see this monster again, thank you. I will not be buying the T-shirt with the monster on it. Please. Don’t make me! Okay, here’s my ranking for the series. Because why not? From least-worst to worst-worst.

S01E06 - Human Sacrifice

S01E08 - The Special Fathers vs. The Vampire Alter Boys

S01E02 - Escapeoke

S01E11 - Monster

S01E07 - The Busboy

S01E04 - Temptasia

S01E09 - The Dreamster

S01E01 - He's Not the Messiah, He's a DJ

S01E10 - Satan's School for Girls

S01E05 - Terry the Teratoma

S01E03 - Dildo Factory

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #lucy: the daughter of the devil

[jerzwriter]

Day Two - Telling the Parents 💕

Book: Open Heart (After Series)

Series: Their First Two Months

Pairing: Ethan x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: Teen

Summary: They made things official just 2 days ago, now Ethan won't let Casey wait another day to share the news with their parents & Naveen. But things don't exactly go as expected.

Category: Funny, silly FLUFF

Warnings: Language

Words: 1993

A/N: Part of a series outlining the first two months after Ethan and Casey make it official. (There will not be a story for each day, just the important ones that brought them through the two-month period covered in the alternate series ending found here.) This FF can be read as a stand-alone.

A/N2 : I am participating in this week’s Wacky Drabbles. This week’s prompt can be found in bold below.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Casey emerged from Ethan’s bedroom dressed in nothing but his blue terry bathroom with a bad case of bed head. She rubbed her eyes as her feet shuffled across the hardwood floor that led to his kitchen. Ethan smirked as she approached, she could not have been more adorable.

“Good morning, Sunshine! Rough night?”

The melodic timbre of his voice broke her sleepy spell. Blinking twice, she opened her eyes to find a breakfast feast waiting before her.

“Aw, what’s all this? For me?”

“Yes. Greek yogurt with honey, freshly baked banana muffins, and Earl Grey tea. If I remember from our lessons yesterday, this ranked among your top ten breakfast selections. Though, I cheated on the muffins. They are store-bought as I found snuggling in bed with you to be more satisfying than baking.”

Standing next to the table, she bit her lower lip as she pointed to a small bud vase with two red roses. “Roses, too?”

“Casey, it is our second day anniversary. Did you forget?”

“Who are you, and what did you do with Ethan Ramsey?”

“I thought you would be delighted with the change. So, ready to share our news with our parents today?”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be today.”

Ethan looked at her with feigned shock, “Excuse me, didn’t you want to hire a skywriter to announce our relationship above Fenway yesterday? Now you want to put off telling our parents?”

“The skywriter was your idea. I just wanted an ad in the Boston Globe. I just thought maybe we’d wait until we could see them.”

“Well, I’ve seen you Zoom your parents, so… make that happen. I’ll Facetime my Dad as we talk to Naveen. Problem solved.”

“So, I can’t tell another soul for two weeks, but we must tell our parents today.”

“Your listening has improved drastically since you were a rookie… Rookie.”

Circling the table, he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, “Let me know what time we’ll be Zooming with your parents. I’ll make arrangements with Dad & Naveen.”

Casey sat at Ethan’s desk fumbling with her laptop. Ethan entered the office and, for all the enthusiasm he displayed earlier, he appeared a bit ashen now.

“What’s the matter? Have you had a change of heart?” Casey asked.

“About you? Never. About the call? Possibly.”

“Why?”

He sighed, “What if they hate me?”

“Ethan, you have met them. They like you.”

“They liked me as your doctor after the attack. They like me as your boss…. “

“They know you meant more to me than that.”

His eyes bulged, “They do? Did you ever tell them?”

“No. I mean, I never actually said, ‘Hey, I’m sleeping with my boss'. But, you took the 4-hour drive to their home with me for a barbeque. You took the day off of work to go sightseeing with us when they visited. That is going a little bit above standard bossly duties.”

“How did you explain that to them?”

“I don’t know. How did you explain it to your Dad?”

“I didn’t.”

“There you go! I mean, I did tell my Mom some stuff… but not my Father.”

“What… what did you tell her!?”

“I may have told her I thought you were cute.”

“Cute?”

“I might have used the word… hot?”

“Hot?”

“Yes.”

“Well, why did you say that?”

“Because you are hot….”

“But did you have to tell your Mother?”

“Well, I mean... she sees it... she thinks you’re hot too..”

“Oh, Jesus..”

“Oh, look, they’re on. Let’s get on the call.”

“I think I’ll….”

“ETHAN! SIT!”

Casey’s Mom appeared on the screen.

“Hey, Mom!” Casey said waiving, “Is Dad joining us too.”

“Yes,” she said exasperated, “He is in the yard trying to get on using his phone. He’ll never figure it out. Let me go get him.”

As Rose walked off the screen, they could hear her and David squabbling about him joining her inside.

Ethan shot Casey a look.

“What?”

“What else did you tell your mother?”

“Well, I…”

Before she could finish, both her parents were on the screen. Her Dad was a bit flustered. Ethan tried to hide behind Casey’s shoulder, an impossibility given their 8-inch height difference.

“Hi, Dad! I’m so glad you are joining us!”

“Hey, pumpkin. I would have been able to get it in the yard, but your Mom here is impatient….”

“It’s OK Dad, I like it better this way. It’s more... intimate.”

Ethan rolls his eyes at her choice of words.

“Hi Mrs. MacTavish, Mr. Mactavish”

“Hi Ethan, how many times do we I have to tell you? I’m Rose and he is David.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m a little….”

“Uncomfortable, you look uncomfortable, Ethan. Is everything OK?” David interjected.

“Yes, of course, I’m fine. I’m just….” Ethan looked at Casey, his eyes pleading. A sly grin spread across her face as she momentarily considered letting him flounder a little longer, but she spared him.

“Well, Mom, Dad, we’re actually calling you together because we wanted to tell you that….”

“Oh my God, they’re engaged!!” David yelled.

Casey and Ethan’s eyes both popped right out of their heads. “ENGAGED! DAD! Where the hell did you get that from? No, we’re not engaged.”

“Well, you’re calling with this big announcement, I mean….”

Rose rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “Casey, I’ll try to keep him under control. What were you about to say, dear?”

“Uh, well, I guess it’s anti-climactic now but, I was just calling to let you know Ethan is … he’s now my boyfriend… and I’m his girlfriend… we’re like, together.”

Rose covered her mouth and gasped with excitement. “Oh my God! Casey!!!! Oh, finally!”

David looked at his wife bewildered. “Casey, what do you mean he’s your boyfriend? Hasn’t he been your boyfriend?”

Ethan looks as if he was praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Well, Dad, not exactly….”

“So, Pumpkin, what telling me is that you weren’t dating at all until now….”

“Well, no, we were but….”

“David, what she is saying is that they are now official, dear.”

“So you have both been seeing other people this whole time?”

Ethan grumbled, “This might be a good time for me to pull the fire alarm.”

“No! No, Dad, I wasn’t dating anyone else, I mean...” she looked at Ethan “you weren’t, were you?”

He turned to her, astonished, “What, no! Casey, of course I wasn’t dating anyone else!”

“So, then you have been official. I don’t understand this newfangled stuff!”

“Dad… what we’re saying is we are committed, we want to build a future together and… Ethan asked me to move in with him, so I am!”

“You’re what?”

Rose sighed, “David, She’s going to be 29 in two weeks! She’s a doctor! And it is 2021!”

“I told you I should not have been on this call,” Ethan said looking for an excuse to run.

“Dad, it’s not a big deal..”

Ethan flips his head toward Casey, “It’s not?”

“No, it is! I mean…”

Finally, Rose yelled above the pandemonium. “EVERYONE STOP!!! And by everyone, I mean you, David! Casey is calling us with happy news. Let’s be happy!”

With a smile on her lips, Casey exhaled, “Thank you, Mom!! I am happy. Daddy, I really love him, and he really loves me, and we’re really happy.”

David lowered his head and dabbed a Kleenex at his eyes, “You know, my allergies are terrible today….”

Rose shook her head, “He gets a little emotional.”

Casey elbowed Ethan. “Uhm, Rose, David, I want to assure you, I love Casey with all my heart, and,” he looked into Casey’s eyes and they smiled at one another, “this is the start of something great.”

“Awwwww,” Rose whimpered, “you are so cute!”

“I told you they were cute, Rose. I always said what a handsome couple they made...”

“You never said any such thing, David….”

Casey and Ethan watched as the call descended into chaos once again.

“Yeah, it’s time to end this,” she whispered to Ethan.

“Mom, Dad! Look, we have a meeting, so we have to go, OK.”

“OK, bye, sweetie! Your Dad and I are so happy, Ethan, we can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here, Mrs. Mac… Rose..”

“Bye!! I’ll call you tonight!” CLICK.

Casey tilted her head up toward Ethan, “Welcome to the family!”

He laughed, “Well, it can’t get worse from here, right?”

Raising her eyebrows, she said, “Wanna bet?”

Casey & Ethan rushed into Naveen’s office; Ethan was already getting Alan on Facetime, as they knew Naveen only had a few moments free.

“To what do I owe this pleasure!” He asked as he hugged them.

“Just one moment, let me get Dad on and… there.” He rested his phone on the table so they could all see one another.

“Well, this is most unusual. What are we doing here?” Naveen asked.

Casey smiled at Ethan, “This one is all you, darling.”

“Darling…” Naveen said with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, that’s one way to intro it, I guess,” Ethan smiled. “Dad, Naveen, Casey and I wanted to let you know….”

“Yesssss?” Alan asked.

“We’re dating.”

Naveen looked at Ethan with no expression.

“No kidding.”

“What, you knew?”

“Everyone in the hospital knows, Ethan. Did you know, Alan?”

“Oh, I figured as much.”

“Wait, we only made things official 2-days ago?”

That got everyone’s attention. Naveen’s eyes bulged, “Wait, you made it official.”

“Yes, that’s what I was telling you!”

“Son, Casey, you are not joking, right?”

“Dad, why would I joke about such a thing? I asked Casey to move in with me and….”

A loud noise crashed when Naveen rolled his chair back against the wall.

“Ethan, I am not a young man. Can you break news like this to me in a gentler manner… my heart…”

“Could we cut the dramatics?” Ethan deadpanned.

“Absolutely not!” Alan yelled through the phone, “Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for this?”

“Alan, my friend, do you have the chart? I think you might have won this bet.”

“Wait, you were betting on us?” Casey asked.

“Yes, sweet child. It’s no judgment on you; we were waiting to see how long before this loveable oaf finally came to his senses.”

“No, Naveen, you won this bet. I didn’t have him coming to his senses until at least 2022.”

“You are joking about all of this, right?” Ethan asks.

“Ethan, I think I would stop before they continue. By the way they’re looking at their phones, I think they have other side bets we may not want to know about.”

A sly grin formed on Naveen’s lips, “She’s right, you know.”

“And this is why we can’t have nice things!”

“We most certainly can!” Alan laughed. “When are you all off? I’m coming up to Boston, and we’re going to celebrate at that place Casey liked in the North End….”

“Tony and Elaine’s?”

“That’s the one!”

Naveen looked up from his computer, “We’re all off Thursday night, Alan. We will go then.”

“You know, Casey & I might have had plans, Naveen.”

“Fine, then you’ll reschedule them. You’ve tortured your father and me, not to mention this beautiful woman, long enough. Now, we celebrate.”

“So, I take it you’re happy about this?” Casey laughed.

“Of course, my dear! But I am saving my real excitement for winning the next bet.”

“And what is that?” Ethan asked.

“When you get engaged, of course.”

“And on that note, we’re leaving.”

Ethan and Casey leaned on the office door as it closed behind them.

“I think that went well,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess we can say it went well.”

Without realizing it, Ethan laced his fingers with Casey’s. Without realizing it, she held tighter.

“I’m shocked everyone seemed to know,” Ethan said.

“Yeah, me too, it’s not like we walked around holding hands or anything…”

Day One can be found here. Thanks for reading! :)

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#wackydrabbles #choices fanfic writers creations #open heart #ethan x casey #ethan x f!mc #ethan ramsey fanfiction #fic of the week

[unbridgeabledistances]

prompt: domestic gallavich/being intimate in a nonsexualway bc there’s like 3 weeks til the next episode 😐

your wish is my command, anon!<3 i decided to tie this into next ep bc i simply cannot HANDLE mickey’s outfit/big gay metamorphosis & i needed to create the scene that inspired it so i wrote this

a one-shot bridging 11x06 and 11x07 in which ian and mickey talk about “gay friends,” ripped jeans, and do a bit of processing along the way

tw for brief mention of homophobia/abuse (bc terry lol)

--

“How come we don’t have any, like, gay friends?”

Ian looked up from where he was laying on the ground, breathing heavily after a series of push-ups, a nightly routine that he was trying to keep intact even though he and Mickey were practically driving the entire circumference of Chicago every day to make weed deliveries from dawn til dusk, leaving them both exhausted. It had been a week since all the shit with Terry, and a month or so since he and Mickey had started the security gig; while months ago their evenings would be spent sitting side by side on the bed in a brittle silence while Ian read or scratched in his notebook and Mickey played games on his phone blasting at full volume in the pajamas he’d been wearing all day, these days the evenings in their bedroom were softer and warmer— like they were settling into the space together, like they were both on the same team instead of constantly clashing and butting heads while trapped in a too-small space. These days, after having dinner in the clamor of the crowded kitchen, he and Mickey would head upstairs and change out of their uniforms, and Ian would work out while Mickey mostly just lounged on the bed, sometimes making commentary and watching him bob up and down with a pensive smirk or scrolling through his phone.

But tonight, Mickey was quiet— his eyes flickered to the curves and edges of Ian’s torso every now and then as Ian broke a sweat, but otherwise he wasn’t playfully poking and prodding like usual.

Mickey had been a lot quieter in general this week, after all the stuff with Terry— Ian knew seeing the source of all of Mickey’s trauma in a wheelchair immobile from the neck down, the most vulnerable Terry could have been, felt worse than someone repeatedly twisting a knife in Mickey’s abdomen. But beyond the initial shock and the almost-murder and lugging him up the stairs, having Terry in a wheelchair twenty feet away did something deeper to Mickey. This whole situation shifted something solid that had been lodged in the pit of Mickey’s stomach for years— Ian could see it, and he fucking hated it. He hated Mickey’s glassy contemplative eyes as he looked out the car window while they drove to a new dropoff location, lost in his head when he thought Ian wasn’t looking. He hated the tightly wound tension between Mickey’s shoulder blades as he slept, curled into himself and twisted in the comforter, facing away from Ian on the other side of the bed. He hated the tight smiles Mickey gave him as he made some offhand joke about Terry when they could hear him cursing and shrieking through the open front windows, smiles that were trying to prove something outwardly but showed the barbed pain stinging at Mickey’s insides. Ian poured out what he could in soft touches, in skims of fingertips at the breakfast table and in an arm over Mickey’s waist while they slept; but he could only give as much as Mickey would take, and for most of the week Mickey had shut everyone out with iron walls.

Ian couldn’t imagine what was stirring in Mickey’s mind; he’d seen some of Mickey’s trauma firsthand, sure, and some of the stories about Terry came slipping through the cracks when Mickey’s guard was down— mostly on those late nights when they both couldn’t sleep and Mickey whispered into the crook of Ian’s neck as they were curled into each other, cradled in the dark silence of their bedroom. But Ian knew there was deeper shit that he hadn’t heard about, and he could see the constant fear of Mickey’s adolescence hanging heavy around his neck all these years later. But Mickey didn’t need anyone to push his walls down— Ian knew he’d open up when he was ready.

Which is why this random question, the most direct statement Mickey had really made to him all week, caught Ian off guard. He sat up, folding his arms over his legs and staring up at where Mickey was slouching on the bed, propped up by a pillow he’d shoved between his back and the wall. “Gay friends?” he asked, more than a little confused.

Mickey cleared his throat. “Yeah, gay friends, y’know. Like all your youth center queers that came to the wedding or whatever.” He suddenly looked down and picked at a fraying thread on his shirt sleeve, not meeting Ian’s eyes.

Ian raised an eyebrow in curiosity. This was random, sure, but Mickey wouldn’t have brought it up if something wasn’t weighing on him, bubbling up after all the events of this week.

“I don’t know— I guess since the pandemic and stuff, I haven’t really kept in touch with Geneva or any of those guys who came to our wedding. We only really talked after I got out of prison because of all the Gay Jesus publicity bullshit, but after you got out I wasn’t really thinking about that as much.”

Mickey blew out a breath, so quietly Ian barely noticed it. Ian stood, wiping his sweaty forehead and plopping down on the bed next to Mickey, folding his legs so their knees were almost touching— but still giving him space, still letting him breathe.

“Why’re you asking?”

“Don’t know, really. Just thinkin’.” Mickey picked at his shirt sleeve again, then flickered his gaze up to meet Ian’s eyes, two clear pools of glassy blue. “Thinkin’ about what life could’ve been like. If I wasn’t scared shitless of who I was for so long.”

Ian felt something twist in his gut, the same queasy pang of pain that always resurfaced whenever he saw Mickey like this, whenever he was reminded of all the unspeakable agony that Terry had put him through.

“It’s fucked up that you didn’t get to be who you were for so long, Mick,” he breathed, knowing that statement didn’t cover the amount of things that were fucked up about this situation.

Mickey ran his teeth over his bottom lip, like he was concentrating. “Yeah.”

Ian let them sit there for a second. It seemed like Mickey wanted to say more, but something in him was frozen solid. After a moment, Ian tried to break the tension.

“Hey, for the record, I’ve had lots of gay friends and you aren’t missing much. There’s lots of PC bullshit that’s important but took me fucking forever to learn— and even then, I never really felt like I totally belonged.” He gently nudged Mickey’s ribcage. “I guess that’s why I forgot about everyone, between work and getting to be with you all the time— I’d rather eat pizza in the mall food court with you than go to some boujee fucking café with the youth center people any day.”

The corner of Mickey’s mouth ticked upwards slightly. “Yeah. Guess you’re right.” His fingers went slack around the threads on his shirtsleeve he’d been picking at. “You don’t… miss it though? Bein’ around people who’re like us?”

Ian paused for a moment, imagining the youth center crew in the same room as Mickey— it would be fucking comical, like people speaking two different languages, like astronauts trying to communicate with aliens on Mars through gestures and confused looks. But that was just because Mickey didn’t know how to speak that language— he’d been kept shrouded in an abusive household with daily death threats for years, and then stowed away in prison where he didn’t have the chance to go to fucking brunches and clubs and education events like Ian could. Ian got the chance to learn all that shit— it wasn’t Mickey’s fault that he never did, and if it was anyone’s, it was all Terry’s.

Ian’s eyes flickered to Mickey’s face— he looked vulnerable and split open, like he was drifting away in all the possibilities of what could have been. When he answered, Ian spoke softly, carefully.

“I mean… I guess I do. There were nice parts of going out with people, or even those after-parties back when I used to work at the club. There’s something nice about being with your people, where you can make jokes about stuff or talk about deep shit and everyone’s on the same page. It’s hard to find that around here.” Ian tentatively crawled his hand over the blanket, letting it rest on Mickey’s knee. “S’there anything else going on?”

Mickey raised his thumb to his mouth, biting at a hangnail contemplatively. “Dunno, man. Just thinking. How it might be nice, to have friends like us. I used to be scared of hangin’ with other queers, but I think that was just some deep bullshit with Terry.” He looked up to meet Ian’s eyes. “It’d be nice to stop… hating that part of myself, or whatever.”

Ian smiled, reaching to intertwine his fingers with Mickey’s and tracing a pattern with the thumb that was free from their grasp on Mickey’s inner thigh, a soft touch of validation that Ian hoped would soak into Mickey’s skin.

“I think so too.” Ian watched the corner of Mickey’s mouth curve upwards. “I can definitely hit up some of the people I used to hang with, and see if they wanna get coffee or something? With the two of us? Only if you want.”

Mickey nodded— then chuckled a breathy laugh, like he was relieved. “Fuck it. Yeah.”

Ian couldn’t help it; Mickey looked so fucking sweet and so relieved that he had to press a kiss to the top of his head. Mickey squirmed underneath him, bristling like a cat that didn’t want to be pet like he did with most of Ian’s soft touches— but Ian just grinned and doubled down, pressing another slower peck onto Mickey’s temple. Mickey blew out a slow breath.

“Don’t know what I’d fuckin’ wear to a brunch with a bunch of Northside do-gooder gays,” he said after a moment, his voice wavering so slightly that no one except Ian would have noticed.

Ian rolled his eyes fondly, giving Mickey’s hand a quick pulse of a squeeze. “Mickey, are you kidding? Wear whatever the fuck you want. You don’t need to change yourself, that’s kind of the whole point.”

“Yeah. Fuck. Guess it is.” Mickey was quiet for a moment, but still chewing on his bottom lip, like he was building the courage to say something more. Ian could tell— he let the comfortable silence hang between them, knowing that Mickey would break it when he was ready.

“D’you think it’d be stupid if I, like, tried to… jazz up my look a bit?” He darted his eyes nervously to Ian’s face, down to their clasped hands, and then back to the covers again. “Like, uh— I don’t know. Maybe wore some shit that didn’t have holes in it. With patterns, or whatever.”

Ian felt his face split into a grin. Patterns, or whatever— god, he loved his dumbass husband so fucking much. He pressed another kiss to Mickey’s cheek— this time Mickey didn’t flinch away, his only resistance a forced roll of his eyes.

“Mick, I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I think you should dress however makes you feel good.”

“’Kay.” Mickey pursed his lips, like he was still hesitant. Ian rubbed his thumb over the back of Mickey’s hand, their fingers still clasped and hanging limply in Mickey’s lap. The silence was hanging again, and Ian could still feel the tight waves of anxiety bouncing off of Mickey. He took in a breath.

“I could… help you, y’know. If you wanted to dress a certain way. At the very least I could gas you up and tell you how hot you look.” Ian paused, smirking and running his eyes over Mickey’s torso. “But I could also help you pick shit out, or whatever. We could order some stuff online.”

Mickey looked up at him, his eyes oddly relieved and open in a way they hadn’t been in days. “Yeah?”

Ian softly smiled. “Yeah. Only if you want to. You’re you, and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. I love the way you look— hell, it drives me crazy, Mick. But— if you feel like you aren’t dressing the way that makes you feel the best, or like you’re putting on an act for other people and you don’t want to anymore— then we can figure this out.”

This time it was Mickey that initiated affection, lifting their clasped hands and pressing a quick ghost of a kiss to Ian’s wrist. Ian smiled in acknowledgement, then playfully raised his eyebrows. “You wanna look online now? I’m done working out and more than happy to help you gay up your look.”

Mickey unclasped their hands, playfully shoving Ian squarely in the chest. “Fuck you.” Then, in an uncharacteristic move from the way Mickey had been flinching away from his touches all week, Mickey leaned in closer to Ian’s chest, nestling his back on Ian’s sternum and reaching for his phone that was discarded on the blanket beside him. “Alright, hot stuff. Where’re we fucking shopping?”

Ian grinned and snapped the waistband of Mickey’s sweatpants playfully, shuffling underneath him and getting comfortable.

“’Kay, let me think. I used to order a bunch of shirts and stuff from Primark when I was going out with the youth center people. They have good denim, too.”

Mickey’s bottom lip was caught between his teeth again while he listened. He hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering over the phone’s keyboard— then, in an automatic movement, he quickly shoved his phone into Ian’s hand, cheerfully wriggling back into Ian’s chest. Ian smirked and unlocked the phone, happy to take the reins— online shopping for fashion was clearly lightyears out of Mickey’s comfort zone.

Ian navigated over to the Primark homepage, plastered with torsos of toned models wearing striped button ups and ripped jeans. His thumb pressed down onto the “denim” tab, and he started to slowly scroll through the rows of options, holding the phone so Mickey could see.

“I don’t know what you really want, but they’ve got pretty cheap pants and shit that’re good quality…” Ian let his voice trail off, speaking softly to where Mickey was lying on his chest in a voice that he knew was tickling the shell of Mickey’s ear. Mickey almost seemed… nervous, or at the very least paralyzed by the wealth of options. He raised his thumb to his mouth, anxiously biting the hangnail again.

“I guess those ripped ones don’t look too bad.”

Ian clicked on the picture Mickey was referring to. They were black jeans, a dark wash and skinny cut, with patches ripped on both knees. Ian felt something well in his chest, probably an overreaction to a pair of jeans— but these jeans were perfect for Mickey. They weren’t too much, weren’t overly fashionable, but they still felt more clean-cut than the baggy pants Mickey usually threw on. These jeans were badass, and totally aligned with Mickey’s don’t-fuck-with-me vibe, but they were deliberate. Stylish. Like they were saying here the fuck I am.

“Yeah?” Ian knew Mickey could tell he was smiling from his voice.

Mickey smirked, craning his neck and turning to look up at Ian. “Yeah. Think I can pull ‘em off?”

Ian pressed his lips together. “Fuck yeah. You’re gonna look so good.”

Mickey just gave a satisfied smile, and nestled back against Ian’s chest again. “Let’s get ‘em, then.”

#i hope u enjoy!<3 #also im sorry I’ve been so mia in regards to prompts #my mom’s been in the hospital all week and it’s just been a very tough and draining time #but writing this brought me so so much joy! #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless #shameless fic #ian x mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless season 11

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? Thanks....

Holy shit that is such a tough question haha. I was really like trying to remember all the stuff I've read and watched ever and my brain short circuted for a moment lol this is in no particular order and from original sources (no offense to any adaptations, even if I like them).

Richard Cypher (I mean Terry Goodkind's 12+4 books), Cara (/Kara, also from there), Wu Xie (DMBJ), Zhang Qiling (DMBJ), Lan Zhan (MDZS), Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Akashi Seijuro (KNB), Natsume Takashi (Natsume Yuujinchou), Haruka Nanase (Free!), Steve Rogers (you know that one xD).

Fun fact, not to be dramatic or anything, but I really want to say special thanks for Richard & Wu Xie. The way they go about life in general and their incredible trait of finding ways out of seemingly impossible situations without falling into depression and genuinely finding joy in tiny things in some godforsaken ugly ass situations, their adventures and way of thinking got me through some of the toughest shit of my short but hella weird life. Like I've been raised good ofc and got exteremely lucky with my family and I'm saying it without trying to make anyone go like "oh poor you" (I mean you know I never share anything here, I genuinely feel like that won't help anyone really, nor me focusing on that also here, nor anyone with their own problems reading this, thats why I just take breaks and come back when I can), but things of last years like... packing medical document while there's blood everywhere cause my elder sister almost cut off her tongue and dad is in shock, mom in the hospital with internal stomach bleeding, my weird spine operation where doctors for some reason refused to even answer what it was, camping in the hospital while little sister close to diabetic coma at age of 5, putting my cat to sleep bc of the painful neck cancer, grandpa dying twice in one day, finding weird bump in my chest and for 2 months of awful tests thinking "oh hell that might be it" fairly recently... etc lol (I'm not even counting like "world things" here).

I would go down if it wasn't for their way of thinking 😂. Like if I had other mentality, not enough brains and humor sometimes too and went wrong ways about these things, I would drown istg.

It's mostly from them I got all the whining and pitying yourself isn't an option, don't focus on the bad no matter how bad it is find a solution instead, always be happy about you have right now, don't blame anything on others and don't think anyone owes you anything, the first person who can help you is you, those who love you most important what others think doesn't matter, no matter how bad it is move your butt, idiots be idiots move on (esp thoughts of 6th SOT book and Restart is what keeps me breathing when I genuinely think that I won't be able to survive the pure idiocity of the crowd and be like its okay), if you truly can't change anything and did everything possible then just adapt to that and learn how to thrive with what you got etc.

Richard was there for me for a while (like 7 years or smth I think), Wu Xie came recently (but already been tremendous help to me haha). I just think if if wasn't for these series, I'd for sure be sitting somewhere pitying myself about how "life is unfair" instead of being happy. And thats a gift really.

I know half of it coming from the fact that there were times my family didn't have much, so its probably why I can be so happy with so little, but finding positivite things in some complete ass is for sure coming from these guys haha. I remember first time Richard pulled off this thing with anderith ppl my jaw was literally on the floor, I was so impressed with this book, I really was like "I wanna be like that" lmao. It was like... stripped of fucking everything, forced to be surrounded by most idiotic brain-washed haters (they were also extra religious.. which is a special pain for a person like me), separated from the dying and suffering love of your life, just the whole absolute horrid of the whole situation (I can't even describe it, but Istg it was painful to read for me, I was so pissed, I was reading like " jfc how is he even gathering himself? I wouldn't be able to handle even 2 mins of that"), but he not only fucking found ways without even teeny tiny histeric, he managed to come out a fucking winner too. I'm still to this day don't think any character ever shook me like that. And I've read and watched TOO much stuff.

I mean, with recent events also, last weeks I don't even wanna start on what we did and what happened and what ppl around me got like about many things. If it wasn't for Wu Xie's life motto I'd be along with many into the pit of "why", instead of actually you know.. doing things you gotta do. So they hold a special place in my heart in their own way, where you go like "oh damn this fiction character changed my life" not just cause they're your type and certain traits that attract you, you know lmao ;)

#answered #elaine2895 #anime #books #movies #<3 #and I know some of them prob don't make sense considering all he stuff I've read lol #but I have personal reasons for those trust me haha

[a-nice-and-interpretive-fanzine]

[ID: A cream-colored banner that says "A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: essays and art about the meanings we've found in Good Omens." There is a photo of a book page with a key on it behind the banner text. The photo source is rosy_photo on Pixabay. /end ID]

A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: Information Masterpost

Welcome!

This is a zine for those of us who love the subtle, complex work that is Good Omens, and who’ve enjoyed the thoughtfulness of the fandom as people interpret how the many moving pieces of the story come together, creating a slightly different meaning for each of us.

To put it simply, it’s a book full of the fandom’s own analysis and commentary about the Good Omens TV show, enhanced with illustrations from our brilliant artists.

This zine is analytical in the sense that all the writers are expressing their own nonfiction thoughts and feelings about the show, rather than writing fanfic, but it is not meant to be heavily academic. Anybody who likes to pick apart the series and discuss it should be able to enjoy it.

The zine will contain essays by fans who are passionate about analyzing and interpreting different parts of Good Omens - the characters, the plot, the writing techniques for the book and script, the cinematography of the TV show, the popular content of the fandom itself. Accompanying these essays will be black and white illustrations from our artists.

How are you organizing this process?

May 1-May 15: Everyone submits their application to do writing or art through a Google form. Behind the scenes, I’ll be setting up a separate email and Discord.

May 16-20: Applicants will be screened during this time.

May 20: I’ll email everyone to let them know the outcomes of their applications. The final participants will get a link to the Discord server for the zine (totally optional, of course).

May 21: If there’s any clarification or solidifying of ideas that needs to happen, I’ll contact you and discuss with you by this point. This is also when artists will be matched up with essays.

May 22 to August 14: This will be a period of just working on our essays and art. The Discord chat and Tumblr will be there for support and for exchanging ideas!

August 15: Participants need to email their full works to the zine’s email address by this date. No special formatting is needed; I’ll do that in InDesign.

August 15 to August 31: I’ll be putting the zine together in InDesign.

September 1: Preorders will open.

September 30: Preorders will close.

October 1: The zine order will be placed!

October 15: Assuming all goes well with printing and shipping, the zines will be shipped out in waves starting on this date. If the printing or shipping from the manufacturer is delayed, then shipping will just start ASAP.

Writer Application HERE Artist Application HERE Asked and Answered Questions on Tumblr The Fanzine's Page on Twitter

Read below for more detailed information about the zine in a Q and A format!

What are the specifications for the zine contributions?

For writers, I’m starting with 3k words or fewer per essay (approximately 10 pages at the size of this book). This depends heavily on how many participants we actually get, so it may change!

For artists, I’d be looking at black and white works, 300 DPI, 5.5 x 8.5 inches or smaller. If your art is supposed to fill up the entire page (i.e. no white space), please make it a total of 5.75 x 8.75 inches with nothing too important around the edges to account for bleed during the printing process.

Can I submit an essay to this zine if I’ve already posted it on Tumblr?

Not as you’ve already posted it. We don’t want to just copy/paste the exact thing that hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people have already read.

However, it IS fine and maybe even a good idea to take the same thought from your post and refine it, preserving your same thesis. For example, a lot of Tumblr posts are just us fans jotting down 5 or 6 paragraphs of random thoughts at 2 AM, but some of them are really cool thoughts! Expanding them and turning them into a bona-fide Essay would make those posts into excellent zine chapters. And you can copy small pieces of your own language as long as the whole thing isn’t just pasted word-for-word.

How long do essays have to be? Is there a limit?

With the number of writers we have, I've calculated that each person should ideally keep their essay to about 6000 words. There is wiggle room.

There’s no real minimum for your contribution; some analytical ideas are really good but can be expressed concisely, so it’s okay if your essays only come out to a few pages typed. For reference, with our book size, a page is about 300 words.

What happens if the zine sells a lot and you end up not only breaking even, but turning a profit?

It’ll go to charity. While I’ll ask the participants what they want to do for certain if we do make enough money, my suggestion will be donating it to Alzheimer’s Research UK in honor of Sir Terry Pratchett.

I’m not really comfortable calling this a “charity zine” up front since I simply don’t know if it will raise a significant amount. For the most part, I just want the thing to physically exist, which means breaking even, and don’t want to make it more expensive for buyers than it needs to be to afford the printing costs.

What kinds of essays are you talking about? What could be included?

In short, any analytical thoughts about the Good Omens TV show - and possibly even the fandom as it interacts with the show - are possible inclusions for the zine.

To expand a bit, think about the meta posts you see floating around Tumblr. Often these involve analyzing characters, or picking up on patterns in the plot. Sometimes fans use their own background knowledge to write posts about the significance of certain costume choices or the way music plays into each individual scene. Some posts examine the ways the series approaches gender, while others might discuss ways that the characters present as neurodivergent. That’s how diverse the pool of possibilities is for subjects in this zine.

How does art come into this?

Images will be black and white, to match the bookish mood of the project overall. Images can range in size from a half page to a full page.

I’m planning to talk to the artists and authors and loosely pair artists with essays that appeal to their personal interests.

I know how to illustrate a story, but how do I illustrate an essay?

There are infinite answers to this! I’ve seen some beautiful symbolic artwork in the fandom already (e.g. a number of takes on Aziraphale munching on an apple with Crowley in snake form curving around him), and there are tons of symbolic motifs to draw from, but these are not the only options. An artist illustrating an essay about cinematography, for example, could draw a well-known scene from an alternative angle. An essay about Heaven as a capitalist corporation could be illustrated with a cartoon of Gabriel giving some sort of excruciating PowerPoint presentation. A character analysis could be accompanied by a simple portrait. And on and on. I’m not interested in limiting the possibilities by trying to make a list, but just know that there are many and you don’t have to make it complicated if you don’t want to.

If the writers can reuse their essay ideas, can artists reuse their drawings?

Similarly to the writers, if you already have an interpretive drawing that you’re in love with, artists can use the same ideas and the same fundamental composition that is present in their own existing work. However, it has to be redone in some significant way. Whether it’s taking something you drew in 2019 and redrawing it using an updated style, taking a sketch and turning it into a lined and shaded piece, or redoing a full-color drawing so it presents more strikingly in black and white, it shouldn’t be identical to the thing you’ve already posted.

So how are you choosing participants here?

It’ll be based on what people are interested in writing about (or illustrating). I’ll be looking for people who are passionate about their essays, but I’ll also be looking for variety. It all depends on what people want to offer, so I won’t know for sure what it will look like put together until everyone’s application is in.

For artists, I’ll be trying to figure out whose style looks like it would adapt well to illustrations in black and white, and also who demonstrates an interest in the same subjects as the writers.

If we don’t get a lot of applicants, I’d love to simply include everyone, but I can’t commit to that without knowing for sure how many people are involved.

Do I have to use a formal writing style to participate?

No. You should use a style that makes your thoughts and ideas as clear as possible, but as long as it’s understandable, you can also get a little artistic with it. You can “write like you speak,” though perhaps in a more organized way. You definitely don’t need to worry about stylistic rules like not using the first person. This is not academia.

Is this zine going to center only on Crowley and Aziraphale?

That remains to be seen! It depends on what ideas show up in the applications. There will be a lot of the ineffable partners for sure, but whether the whole zine will center on them or whether there’s plentiful stuff about other characters will depend on what the participants suggest.

Do we have to agree with all your personal interpretations of Good Omens to be in the zine?

No! In fact, I’m assuming that a number of essays will contradict each other, too, and that’s perfectly okay. The zine is a sampler of fan interpretations meant to inspire, not instruct. It’s not “Here’s a fan-made guide on how to understand this TV show,” it’s “Look at all these moving parts and how many meanings we can find in them. What does it mean to you?”

However, there are some basic rules and assumptions by which I’m working here.

I don’t personally have the energy to include essays that are highly critical (“negative”) in this zine. It’s analytical but also meant to be fun.

I’m pretty focused on the TV adaptation. This isn’t “no book analysis allowed” but just that the essays will end up being weighted toward subjects that apply to either the TV show or both the book and the show.

Each writer should focus on making their own points over disproving other fan interpretations. If you’re writing in an expository style, it’s normal for the essay to contain rebuttals to opposing ideas, but these should be minor supporting points, not the heart and soul of your essay. For reference, I’d say the majority of meta I see floating around on tumblr would follow this rule just fine.

Essay ideas that seem to contain bigoted or exclusionary sentiments will not be accepted (no TERFy stuff, for example).

What kinds of editing will go into the zine? Are you going to argue with us about the contents of our writing?

While I might ask you to elaborate on certain points in your writing or clarify your thoughts about your subject, I’m absolutely not here to ask you to change the thesis, opinions, or headcanons on which your writing is based. If I really have a problem with your initial idea, I’ll tell you that up front and politely decline the contribution.

While formatting the zine, I’ll make minor edits if I think I see a typo or misspelling, something small and obviously unintentional. As with any other zine, your content won’t be changed without consulting you.

Is this a SFW zine?

Yes. If people want to discuss sexuality in a theoretical way, like erotic subtext, that would be allowed. There are canon references like Newt and Anathema’s moment under the bed that might come up, too. But there will be nothing explicit, and since these are essays instead of stories, there will be no “action” going on between characters. Let’s just say sex isn’t a forbidden topic, but it will be like discussing it in English class.

As for other topics that could make the zine NSFW, like gore or extreme language, I don’t think they will be an issue. Some dark topics, like abuse by Heaven and Hell, may be discussed, but they will be warned for, and these are not stories, so you aren’t going to see violent actions playing out.

Will there be any “extras” like charms or stickers?

I’m not sure yet. I’m most inclined to keep it simple, because of the nature of the zine, but would be open to including some bonus items if there’s an artist who’s really passionate about it.

With that said, I am pretty committed to making a hardcover edition of the book available, in addition to the standard softcover version.

You’re doing this with only one mod?!

Yes. I personally find it easiest. While I’ve worked on multi-mod projects in other domains and adore all of my co-mods, it’s a little bit different when it’s a project with this many moving pieces that includes real-life components like printing and shipping. Though there are a lot of individual things to be done, I am experienced with all of them, so it’s less overwhelming to just take on the whole project. That way, I know exactly what needs to be done and when, and there are no issues with assigning tasks.

What qualifies you to run this zine?

The résumé answer: in fandom, I successfully solo-modded a large not-for-profit zine in the past, the @soulmakazine2018, and while I can’t speak for the whole fandom, it definitely seemed to be well-received. <3 In real life, I’m a case manager and this involves coordinating and communicating with a lot of different people including my 100-person caseload, budgeting services, and filling out all kinds of paperwork on the fly, all skills that can be imported into zine work.

The practical answer: well, I’m the one who decided to start this project, so if you like the sound of it, you're stuck with me. I say with encouragement and enthusiasm that if you’d like to do a different take on a commentary zine, you should absolutely do it.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #fanzine #good omens zine

[watermelonlipstick]

Dreams, Chapter 15

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 15

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3310

Summary: The reader and Sam take an irrevocable step forward.

Warnings: angst, FLUFF, swearing, s l o w  b u r n, this section is emotional smut

           The drive home felt electric and giddy and nauseatingly tense, like driving back from prom with a little foil packet burning a hole in your pocket. It had been delicious agony working through the rest of the shift on stolen hand grazes and smirks across the length of the bar, suspense winding in your throat, especially wearing Sam’s shirt, the incredible scent of him floating around you in a halo every time you moved. Now that it was so close you didn’t know what to do with it. At the very least, Sam didn’t seem to either as you noticed him swallowing far more often than he needed to and cranking the stereo. He drove fast, almost like—no, don’t think that, not right now—and you watched for deer on the sides of the road partly to keep from getting into an accident and partly for something to distract even a fraction of your mind from the way Sam’s lips had felt on yours when he had finally let go, how they must feel everywhere else.

           When he pulled into the driveway, you both sat still in the front seat for a beat of silence.

           “I’m—uh, I’m going to take a shower,” Sam said, looking toward your side of the car but not quite meeting your eyes.

           “Yeah, okay, good idea,” you answered. You were still sticky with the broken-keg-beer from hours ago and a shower sounded divine, but you knew saying something about getting cleaned up too wouldn’t land right in the charge of this moment. The two of you awkwardly walked inside, a movement you’d done so many times that suddenly felt so unfamiliar it was a little spooky. Sam ducked into the shower without another word and you didn’t know what to do in your own house.

           Digging through your clothes, you finally found a matching bra and panty set you hadn’t worn in…you stopped yourself from thinking about exactly how long. It was black and lacy but in a sort of sensible way; probably wouldn’t have been fancy for a person who didn’t usually buy her undergarments with durability and lack of movement while running and fighting in mind, but it was what you had and it certainly seemed like a more appropriate thing to wear than one of the old t-shirts of Dean’s you normally changed into after work. You bit your lip and beat back a moment of frustrated nerves, imagining the extremely awkward put-on seduction of walking through the cabin in just the set, and grabbed a black tank top and yoga pants out too, bundling all the garments together.

           Sam walked into the bedroom with a towel slung sinfully low on his hips, and the sight made your breath catch in your throat. The tension required to hold the terry in place flexed one pec as a few droplets of water shook loose from his hair and slid down it.

           You grabbed the bundle of clothes in your hand and gestured behind him. “My turn.”

           Sam nodded, side stepping to let you out of the doorway.

           It was a longer shower than you’d taken in a long time, going over your legs obsessively with the dullish disposable razor you’d been using and washing your hair twice to make sure to get any residual beer out of it. Finally you knew you couldn’t keep stalling and got out, running a palm of lotion over your body and putting on the black set, yoga pants, and tank top. You turned your head over to flip your hair a few times, hoping for a little more volume and a little less wet rat, and wished that you’d had some kind of perfume or something, had held onto anything from back when you thought things like that had a point, when you cared about being enticing. How glamorous, all this old cotton and dripping hair for what felt like a monumental turning point. No time to think about that now. You threw your towel up on the rack and headed back to the bedroom.

           Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his ankles, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, bare feet tapping on the floor. Something about knowing that he had gotten re-dressed and not even in the old sweats he normally slept in, had thought about it for at least a moment, made you feel better. His head snapped up when you walked in. “H-hey,” he breathed.

           “Hey.” You noticed he’d straightened the already made up bed and taken the pictures of Dean off the wall, neatly stacked on the dresser in the corner of the room.

           When Sam saw your eyes linger on the spot they had been, he opened his mouth. A small shake of your head stopped him from saying anything and you sat beside him. “So.”

           Sam chuckled. “So.”

           “I feel like we just got shut in a closet to play 7 minutes in heaven.”

           “I know I said I’m ready but we don’t have to—”

           “No, that’s not what I mean. Sorry, I just—I haven’t felt this nervous in a long time.”

           “Me neither.”

           You flopped back on the bed, feeling your wet hair fan out a touch around you and looking up at the ceiling. The mattress shifted under Sam’s weight when he laid back next to you, and after a beat you turned to your side, propping up your head on one palm and feeling the oppressive sparks of the moment burn into your skin, heat your cheeks. “There are so many times I could’ve said this, Sam, but you saved my life. I don’t kn—there’s just no way I would’ve made it by myself.”

           He dipped his head toward you, the low light casting a severe shadow off of his jaw and highlighting the contrast between the concentric rings of green-blue-honey in his eyes. “I could say the same to you.” You waited a second, dragging your eyes down the high slope of his cheekbone and counting the tiny dots of stubble where its gradient began on his cheek.

           Slowly, you tipped yourself over him, looping one leg over his waist and placing a hand above each of his shoulders on the mattress. Feeling the heat of his body between your thighs made you feel a bit lightheaded and the way Sam was looking up at you didn’t help, eyes bright and hopeful and a touch awestruck like a true believer listening to a sermon. Big hands floated to your hips, light as anything but each fingertip was rooting you together, connecting you as irrevocably as welded iron. You poured forward into him, stopping a few inches from his face. “I’m—” you started.

           “I love you,” Sam stammered, looking almost surprised when it tumbled out of his mouth, but you caught it between you and breathed it back into him, catching his lips and holding back the groan you wanted to release at their softness, somehow even better than the memory you’d been amplifying in your head all night. You kissed him like a prayer, like saying thank you over and over again for the things he knew you wanted to acknowledge and for all the things he didn’t, every single dried teardrop and gummy worm a pass of your lips against his. One hand moved to your lower back, pressing you together while the other spun through the wet hair at the nape of your neck, thumb cradling the sensitive skin behind your ear and brushing softly back from it, a tiny affection you might not have noticed if everything about this moment wasn’t so amplified.

           When you nipped gently at his lower lip, Sam made a sound close to a whimper deep in his throat before slipping his tongue against yours and drinking you in. He shifted his hips underneath you and used the hands on your back to guide you easily to the mattress, taking care not to place you on top of your hair. You wound your fingers in the fabric of his t-shirt and pulled him closer to you until you were pressed against the full firm stretch of his torso. As you passed your fingers under the hem, Sam leaned back for a second to tug behind his collar and toss the shirt to the ground in one fluid motion, coming back to lay a trail of kisses down the hinge of your jaw and neck, light suction on the exact spot it sloped into collarbone. It was your turn to get out of your tank top; the moment of widened pupils at the reveal dissolved the nerves you’d had about the lace and gave you the confidence to hook your legs around Sam’s hips and drag him as tightly to you as his jeans would allow.

           He slipped tentative fingertips into the waistband of the yoga pants and you parted to let him shimmy them off of your legs, surprised when a tear almost welled in your eyes at the kiss he pressed into the side of your calf—an impulsive reflex betraying Sam’s affection. You sat up, tried to unbutton the worn cotton of his jeans, and realized your hands were shaking. He took your face delicately in his hands and kissed you, soft as anything, and it was Sam, person you knew best in this world, who’d saved your life over and over and over again; if you couldn’t trust him, then who could you trust? The moment was enough to settle you, button coming undone smoothly. He eased off the bed without breaking contact with your lips to shake them off, tipping you onto the mattress delicately when his legs were bare. Arching your back to unhook your bra, you shucked it off carelessly into the depth of the room. Sam raked his eyes over your body and you tried not to shy away from it. “I—uh—are we going to be okay?” he whispered low into the space between you.

           “I think so,” you answered, and it was as much affirmation as you could give, because truthfully you didn’t know. It felt right but your instincts had been wrong before. You wished more than anything that you could’ve kept the sexually charged impulsivity in the bar’s cooler earlier that night, when you were moving on instinct and need and didn’t have time to analyze.

           But Sam was so beautiful, so present and real, almost too warm under your touch, and you reminded yourself that he was the only real thing in your life. He brushed a stray piece of still-damp hair back from your face before bending to his knees on the side of the bed. You got up to your elbows and watched passively as he took the rest of your lace off, leaving you completely exposed save for the cover of his kiss on your inner thigh. Swallowing hard, you felt your lips part as you watched the long muscles of his back pull taut when he moved you to the edge of the bed. The hot breath between your legs was enough to make you see stars around Sam’s head like a halo and then he swirled his tongue around your clit softly, almost too softly, just enough to make you feel hungry with desire. A whine passed your lips and you barely even registered it, so focused on watching the precise even muscles in Sam’s jaw flex and ripple against his cheek, matching them to the mazes he was drawing into you. Wrapping an arm around your thigh to hold you in place, Sam flicked his gaze up for confirmation as he snaked an arm under you, sucking two fingers with his eyes locked on yours before gliding them inside you.

           You gasped creakily as he hook-pressed, the strength of his hands feeling familiar if the feeling wasn’t, tugging out sweet sin rooted deep in your gut. It wound you into a tight coil ready to crack with tensile strength, cables of a centuries old suspension bridge rattling through every muscle in your body. With your back arching into the mattress, Sam lapped and swirled and spoke tongues into you, sturdy latch on your thigh until it was absolutely too much, sent you snapping into a thousand sparking live wires around him as you tried to steady yourself with handfuls of duvet. When you had enough of your wits back about you, you slipped your hands through the drying silk of Sam’s hair and guided him back up, kissing the taste of yourself off of his lips, his chin. Sam laid against you unfurling his body like a scroll, the heavy length of his cock grazing your thigh through his boxers. You gently push-pulled his shoulders to flip him onto on his back, a dazed smile on his face when you licked a stripe down his chest and lightly ran your teeth over a nipple. His chest heaved once when you brushed against his cock and then his breathing went shallow. With your mouth centimeters from his skin, you met his eyes. “Is this still okay?”

           “Y-yeah, yes—yeah,” he said, way too fast to pretend at any semblance of nonchalance, more than fast enough to send you grinning as you tugged the elastic down his hips slowly and caught the weight of him in your palm, hot and crystallized beneath a shimmering drop of precum that you lapped reflexively, drawing a sharp inhale from Sam. Now it was your turn to swirl, rolling the head around your tongue sloppily before taking the first few inches of him into your mouth and sucking against a spinning hand until you built a rhythm. His head rolled back into the bed and he closed his eyes, letting them fly open only when you eased the full length of his cock into your throat slowly, willing your muscles to relax around him and relishing the fuzzy blown-out look in his eyes. You let the withdrawal drag, slipping frictionlessly over his now dripping cock as spit flowed through the gaps between your fingers. Sucking along the underside before taking him down again, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen starting to tense and pulled off, kissing a hip bone before straddling Sam and guiding him inside you carefully.

           To his constant credit—as though there was anything you wouldn’t give him credit for—Sam held perfectly still as you stretched around him. It had been so long, and he probably would’ve been a challenge even if it hadn’t been years since these muscles had been flexed. The knowledge that it would calm down pushed you through the almost-tearing feeling you had, finally resting an inch or two above being flush together and taking a few deep breaths.

           “Are you okay?” Sam asked, cheeks pink and eyebrows showing his concern even as the tendons in his neck flexed with restraint.

           “Yeah, I just—out of practice,” you answered with a sheepish smirk. He traced down the sides of your thighs with velvet fingertips like a metronome until your body relaxed around him and you began to slide and grind against Sam in earnest.

           He half-raised himself to meet your lips, curving you down so he could kiss you as you moved together. For the second time that night, he took you in his arms and turned you onto the bed, deftly switching your positions without disconnecting from you. His hand still cradled your head protectively while he touched his forehead to yours. Twin exhales mixing in the slowly humidifying air between you, there were so many things you wanted to say but none of the words you could think of felt like enough to encompass the comfort-love-grief-thanks-apology. All you could do was kiss him.

           The two of you fit together exactly and you cupped the back of Sam’s neck as he rocked into you. Weight supported on one hand, he swept a thumb along your cheekbone before leaning down, touching his lips to your forehead, and taking a deep breath of your hair. Such a clear punctuation on his tenderness swelled up hard in your throat and you had to gulp hard to settle it, concentrating instead on the heat pooling in your core through Sam’s deliberate movements. The crescendo reached a fever pitch when he slid a hand to the small of your back and tilted your hips justrightjustlikethat, pressure drilling right into that perfect spot and after a few seconds it was all you could do to throw your head back into the mattress and crack in half.

           Sam sucked at your jugular while you fell to pieces and in other circumstances you might’ve been worried about walking around like a teenager with a hickey, but all you could think of was him around you, inside you, on you, and you wanted as much as you could get. Tugging at his hair and latching your legs around his hips in frantic reflex shoved him over the edge, muscles in his back rippling under your other hand and sweat glistening over the expanse of his neck as it rolled back. He eased off of you, laid down beside you, and wrapped you up in his arms.

           A few hot tears dropped to the bedspread and almost surprised you but didn’t seem to phase Sam, who just tightened his embrace so your cheek rested on the slope of his chest. Time stopped as you lay there, having disappeared between the fissures of reality and straight into Sam. You resisted the impulse to think too much. It was enough to be there, feel the mist of sweat and freshly washed hair cooling into the ether, the comforting heat of Sam’s body where he draped over you. After your muscles resolidified you turned up and kissed him once, more to check in than anything else.

           “So…what now?” you asked, voice sounding muffled and weird after the long silence.

           Sam smiled looking fatigued and content and nervous all at the same time. “Well, we haven’t been struck down yet. Are you tired?”

           It was likely close to 4 or 5 in the morning but sleeping felt like a trap—with all the information you’d gathered about the dreams, it seemed like if you didn’t have one about Dean tonight then you’d both severely misjudged what was happening, which then put the legitimacy or ‘blessing’ of this new relationship with Sam in jeopardy. But it wasn’t like you could stay up forever. And maybe everything would be fine, maybe you could still have your cake and eat it too by staying with Dean at night and carrying on during the days with Sam, holding his hand and starting to see beauty again through its reflection on his face.

           You brushed your teeth in the bathroom mirror together after throwing on the first t-shirt you found, trying not to put too much stock into it when it ended up being Dean’s Poison one with the tear on the left shoulder. It felt right, natural still to be sharing even this little space with Sam, and that had to mean something. He didn’t even look twice at the shirt but was only wearing boxers, having foregone the flannel pants and/or t shirt he normally wore to bed. You weren’t complaining.

           Cuddling up next to Sam didn’t feel odd as it probably should have so long ago. The only differences were the interlacing of his fingers into yours as he covered your lower ribcage with his hand and the way he tucked his chin into your neck as he folded around you. “I—Sam?” you whispered.

           “Mm?”

           “I’m—uh, just. Thank you.”

           Sam didn’t react for a beat, considering or waiting for you to continue you didn’t know. He simply pressed his lips to your stretched-out collar and melted so that his body sunk into yours. It didn’t take you as long as you might’ve thought to fall asleep.

-

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 16

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