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iluvtreyparker · 7 months

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Not Yet

-smut

-mentions of alcohol and being tipsy (while they both have a few beers I want to stress that they’re not drunk, I didn’t intend for them to be portrayed as drunk and that all sex was consensual!!!)

-this is my first fanfic idk how to format this

-im obsessed w that pic of Trey I hope u imagine that Trey during this cuz that’s what was on my mind

Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday was seeming to grow into an agonizing gift from the gods, or whoever was out there running the show. Waking up seemed to have purpose again; barely making it out the door on time shifted into early mornings crafting carefully coordinated outfits; messy, unwashed hair turned into delicately designed pig tails or braids. For the first time in a very long time, the idea of a class at 9 am was no longer a borderline debilitating task, but like a cup of coffee on a crisp fall morning. Stepping foot in the classroom was like that first sip of coffee passing down your throat and warming your whole body, freeing you from the morning’s chill. You stood before the door, prepping yourself for 50 minutes of pure distraction and inevitable and uncontrollable thoughts, sweet dreams of delusion of a man who you thought barely remembered your name. You sighed deeply. It was time. You pressed open the door and scanned the room for him, in the most natural looking way you could.

“Good morning!” He said with sincerity in his smile.

“Good morning..” you choked out, just a millisecond late enough to make yourself feel awkward about the interaction.

You thought to yourself, “Jesus Christ he was so sweet. He said hello to me. He probably says hello to everyone. But he said it to me today. He wanted you so badly didn’t he. No. No. You have to get yourself together, he’s a man in his 40’s and he is your professor, he’s a very kind man simply greeting you on this fine morning. But wouldn’t it be nice if he wanted me.”

You took your seat near the back of the small auditorium and got yourself settled in. Pretending you be on your laptop you peered above it, getting him in your view. He was still gathering himself together to begin class, as there were a few minutes remaining before the clock would strike 9. You looked upon him as he fiddled with papers. How did you get here? At this university? This major? This class? This specific section? And THIS professor? It didn’t matter, you were here. And there he was.

The way his salt and pepper stubble ruggedly graced his face, his very worn long sleeve t shirt that he must’ve been wearing since before you were out of middle school even, his messy hair undergoing the effects of aging, gently receding in a way that was beginning to leave a patch a the top but something about the way he rocked it pulled you to him a little bit more. He was just an older man, but damn there was something about him. It wasn’t just his looks that captivated you. It was the cadence with which he spoke, the way he could fill up the most casual, unprofessional sentence with an air of eloquence. The way he could make anything make sense. His mind was vast, woven with intricacies of which you felt you could probably never comprehend. And dammit was he funny, and so clever.

Class has started and you sat there, watching intently as he paced around the front of the room, talking about who knows what, God knows you weren’t listening, going on beautifully worded tangents every now and again. He mentioned something about a quiz but all you could think about was how he was in bed. Was he a hair grabber? What day was this quiz? He’s gotta be packing right? It’s on chapter 4? You wanted to put your hands on each side of his face, feeling his graying stubble and pull him in for a kiss, letting each other’s tongues tango and wander to wherever they ended up.

He was talking about something being wrong with the textbook, cursing the idiot writer and the dipshit who edited it and whatever numbskull allowed it to be published, but the articulation of his perfectly chosen words only made you think about what all he could do with his tongue, especially if he was between your thighs. Was he good? He had to be. You just sensed it. He would spread your thighs, look up at you with lust before going down on you, he would know just how to move his tongue, you knew it. And maybe he would start to tease you. He would stop and then begin rubbing your clit only to slide 2 fingers down and into you when you least expected. He would start pumping slowly, starting to curl his fingers up inside you, and holy fuck, when you thought it couldn’t get any better he brought his head down and started using his tongue again while inside you, Jesus Christ alfuckingmighty, and then he would- You felt the room start to blur out as if it were just you and him in an empty auditorium, your cheeks were growing warm and your stomach in a knot. Lord, you felt you needed him so badly. Never had a professor or person in general made you feel this way. It was carnal. Snap out of it. You were going too far again. If you thought anything else you might just have get up and uh.. take a… “bathroom break”… You would never really do that, but he had you so strung up you needed a release so badly. There were only 10 minutes left of class and you tried to ease your mind and maybe attempt to learn something. 10 long minutes of fighting off inappropriate thoughts and watching each minute in agony go by on the clock. But in time, it was over. You quickly grabbed all your belongings and shoved them in your bag with haste, you just wanted to get out of there because partly you felt bad about how far you let your mind wander. You made your way down the short length of auditorium stairs, getting closer to him with each step. He stood near the door, waving a slight goodbye or have a good day to the occasional student who prompted it. You kept your head down, you dreaded passing him, you felt like your thoughts were so loud that he had to have heard them. Like he knew every single thing you wanted him to do to you. Closer and closer you got, mere seconds feeling like hours the closer you got to his presence, you were almost wincing. So close to the door, you would make it. He was right there, you were coming up to him, just nearly about to pass him and get out of there. Until. You sensed a disturbance in your personal bubble. Dear god. He stopped you,

“Hey, Y/N?” He said.

Stunned, frozen in time almost. Are you fucking kidding? Out of all days. You didn’t know what to do, mind racing, you felt your cheeks growing increasingly warm and knew that by the time you turned to face him you would be brighter than the reddest tomato ever grown. You were feeling so warm that surely, your cheeks must be akin to a 3rd degree sunburn, they were so hot they had to have been blistering too, right? Most of the students had filed around you out of the class as the interaction ensued. It was just you two now.

“Uh.. yes..” you managed to spit out.

He stood with a concerned stature, one hand on his hip,

“Are you okay today? You seemed a little off in class today. I just noticed you seemed a little out of it and I thought I would check in.”

Jesus Christ. So he noticed you? He looked at you? He thought about… you?

“Oh! Uh. Yeah…” you trailed off, “… uh. Yeah! Yeah I’m doing okay. Just been a little distracted today is all. I just uh. Adhd. Forgot my medicine today. That’s it! Ha!”

Fucking facepalm. It wasn’t a lie about the ADHD, but you had taken your medicine, and that had in fact probably helped you focus so intently on thinking lewd thoughts about the tall man before you. But god, did you have to overshare like that? Even if it was a only slight stretch of the truth.

“Oh, okay, it happens, Y'know. Glad you’re good! I’ll see you on Wednesday,” he said with a reassuring smile.

“Yep! See you Wednesday!” You stumbled out the door and sped walked without any hesitation to your car. Your mind was blank the whole time until you opened the door and sat down behind the wheel.

God. He was sexy. The way his voice rolled out of his mouth was smooth like butter and it had your knees weak as you thought back on the words he had said to you. You drove home and immediately fell onto the bed and took a nice nap.

As the evening rolled around you started feeling increasingly bored, lonely, and antsy. This was the great combination of feelings that lead you right down the path of deciding to, on a Monday night, hit the bars. For once, you thought, you didn’t exactly want to get totally wasted, but just sit with a beer and be somewhere other than stuck in your room mulling over the woes of life. You’d rather be stuck in a bar, a place with atmosphere and distractions and beer, mulling over life. You had been to most of the bars on the square, and almost decided on going to your favorite one where they knew you, which seems like the best and obvious choice, but something told you otherwise. There was one bar, which you realized you had never been in. It was a sports bar, so this made sense. But tonight you thought, why not? Something new for a dull night? Who knows, maybe you’d meet somebody. Something pulled you to it. It was relatively empty, a few guys were watching the game, but otherwise empty. You sat down at the bar, showed your ID and what not and ordered a Coors Banquet. You sat for a while, almost forcing yourself to try and care about the game on tv. It was the Bengals and some other team who you didn’t really know or care about. You didn’t care about the Bengals either but you knew who they were.

Time passed and you stared, distracted, into your beverage, zoning out the world around you… until… the familiar feeling of someone sitting down right next to you broke your focus on the beer bottle.

“Banquet girl, huh?”

No way. It was him.

“Holy shit,” you said instinctually, “Professor…Parker…” you trailed off in disbelief.

“Uh, yeah,” you continued, “I am a coors banquet girl for sure. Used to be miller lite until I discovered ol banquet. Coors lite on the other hand… that’s just straight piss water”

Embarrassed about saying piss water to your professor, who was sitting next you you at a bar nonetheless, you tried not to bury your face deeply into your hands and scream a guttural scream.

“Piss water huh…?” he giggled, “I always kinda liked coors lite.” He smiled.

There was a brief, stagnant moment of silence, who knows how long it lasted but it was enough for him to decide to clear his throat and break it,

“So… I saw you sitting all alone, I just thought I’d come over here and say hi, hopefully an old guy like me won’t bother you too much, I can sit somewhere else though if you’d like. You just looked a little lonely staring at your beer like that.”

“Oh. Yeah. No, that's fine yeah, keep sitting here.”

This was mind blowing to say the least, it didn’t feel real. He was so close to you. He was so close you could reach out and put your arms around him, embracing his body heat. You tried not to dwell in order to hold a normal conversation, but he was so close you could smell the hint of Old Spice lingering on him. And with just that whiff you caught, it drove you mad. Of course he would wear Old Spice.

“So… I guess… What’re you up to being here tonight?” You asked, unable to think of anything to say.

“I just came here to watch the game. I’m not really all that interested but, Yknow, I guess I just wanted to get out. Really I should be asking you what YOU’RE up to, hitting the bars on a Monday night, miss ma’am.”

Miss ma’am??? What were you? A child or perhaps a naughty cat being scolded? That’s what that sounded like. But maybe you kind of liked it… especially coming from him.

You took a moment to breathe in, “Well, if you must know, miss ma’am here enjoys the fact that there are no covers at the bars on Monday nights,” you paused, “And I just like to sit and think with a beer I guess, and I don’t always want to do it alone in my room. Gets kinda sad after a while y’know”

“Oh, I know,” he responded.

There was another moment of silence filling up the space between you, but it felt more natural this time.

“So, The Cure?” He pointed at your shirt, “I love The Cure!”

“They’re my favorite band!” You say excitedly.

He looks at you with a jokingly cocky expression, “Yknow, I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, but after college I made a movie and guess who loved it? Robert Smith!”

“Holy shit???” You blurt out, “Robert Smith?? And?- hold on you- you made a goddamn movie?? Dude!”

As if he couldn’t get any hotter. He made a movie. That your own hero Robert Smith was allegedly into. He could’ve been lying for all you know, but you trusted every word he said. After a bit of beer consumption you were starting to feel more comfortable and natural talking to him, but in the back of your mind you still couldn’t quiet down the thoughts of everything you wanted to do with him.

“Ah it’s nothin,” he said

“Nothin? No!! You have to show me!”

“Oh don’t know about that… it’s a little inappropriate…”

Inappropriate? Trey Parker? God this pulled you in. You couldn’t believe he made a movie, and an allegedly inappropriate one? You had to see this. Now felt like the time, after a beer and a half you were starting to feel more bold. It was now or never. Before you thought about it to hard, the words were already leaving your lips,

“It may be bold and completely out of line, though I have drank this beverage a bit fast so I’m feeling willing to say more than I should, however, I feel inclined to ask… if you might want to come to my apartment and maybe… you could show me your movie…”

He looked stunned. But you could tell by the look behind his eyes. He had been around long enough to know. And thankfully, to your completely dismay, he replied with a smile,

“Sure…”

You stepped into his car, and the two of you drove back in mostly silence other than your telling directions back to your apartment. It didn’t feel real. You sat in his passenger seat, looking out the window, feeling warmth in your cheeks, wondering if maybe, since you had successfully lured him to your apartment, he might let you call him by his first name.

“Hey…” you decided to go for the question, nervous on how it would go over.

“Hm?” He said softly, looking over at you slightly but maintaining his focus on the road.

“How mad would you be if I um, if I referred you Trey tonight…? Yknow since…” you trailed off, “since y'know…”

“I don’t think I would be mad at all, Y/N.” He said we a reassuring smile.

You gave a quick tour of the place and then offered up the couch, you sat on one end, politely urging him to sit himself down with you. He placed himself on the other end of the couch at an almost awkward, but definitely safe distance.

“You could sit a little closer y’know.“ you said

“I suppose I could”

He moves a little closer but, still a safe difference. If there was ever a time to use your feminine wiles, you thought, it was now. You knew what you wanted but could barely believe you were in this position anyways.

“I don’t bite or nothin. I mean, I usually don’t anyways”

He lightly giggled, but you could sense the gears turning in his head, and you wondered if he had processed your attempt at flirting. He scooted over closer to you, legs almost touching.

The movie had begun playing, and you teased him about his outfit in the film, and the fact that it was called Orgazmo. But after a little while, something came over you, you just couldn’t hold it anymore. Before you knew it you felt your hand moving towards his thigh. Isn’t this usually a man’s move? You really didn’t care. It’s what you wanted and it felt right. In an instant you felt your palm press against the fabric. You looked up to him for reassurance and he gave you a look that let you know it was okay. Within seconds you felt your body rush with warmth as he leaned swiftly in, placing his hand on the side of your face, pulling you in a locking lips.

Holy fuck? Its happening? Play it cool.

His scruff scratches lightly against your skin. Fuck, he could give you rug burn if he wanted to, you’d let him. Your bodies moved together with the passion of the kiss, feeling around each other as his tongue danced against yours in your mouth. You felt a pressure on your chest as he reached in to grab your boobs, releasing a breathy sigh on impact into your mouth. You found your hand on his thigh again, grasping into it briefly, then running your hand up slowly until you reached his inner thigh. You stopped here for a moment before moving to the big bulge in his pants, rubbing and stroking it through the fabric and feeling it get even harder as you do so.

“Fuck,” he lets out a groan.

He hastily begins fiddling with his pants button pulling them down and off to expose his boxers. He grabs you and pulls you up on his lap, your legs straddled around him, and begins grinding against you, moving your hips against his lap and confined length which ached to be inside you.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you found yourself peeling your shorts off with vigor in order to feel even closer to him and the raging hard on rubbing against you. He sat you back down and pulled you in even harder, breathing heavily with each of his movements against you.

“Please, Trey,” you begged, “I need you to put it in”

“Not yet,” he smiled.

He lifted you up as he stood, and carried you off to your bedroom, laying you down on the bed hurriedly, but with care. With both of you on the bed he slid off your shirt, throwing it to the floor; then crawling up to you for a kiss, he places his hands firmly on your boobs. He moves down, grabbing one gently and putting it in his mouth, his tongue swirling around your nipple as he looks up at you with needy blue eyes. He begins to trail down, leaving a line of tender yet sloppy kisses down your torso as he approaches your underwear. It almost made you shiver, the closer he got.

“Is this okay? You’re okay with doing this?” He asked, looking up at you.

You nodded with a subtle bite of the lip, as you felt you couldn’t handle another second without him inside you.

“Are you sure?” He asked again.

“Yes. Please. I need you right now,” you wined in response.

He got off the bed and stood up, tearing off his shirt with haste and sliding off his boxers, allowing his hard length to fling out, giving it a few pumps as he approached the bed again. Back on the bed, he spreads your legs in preparation to take him. He leans in, taking his cock and rubbing the tip against your clit, teasing you, forcing you to wait even longer.

“You’re so wet for me, huh?” he said slyly and proudly as he continued to tease you.

“Please put it in,” you begged.

He grinned and you felt him enter, pushing himself in slowly, all the way, letting out a groan as he did so, and then waiting just a moment, fully inside you, before he began thrusting. He started slowly, getting you used to the length, quickly picking up the pace. You ran your hands down his chest, feeling all of his hair and the burgeoning sweat within it. He was pumping in and out of you rhythmically, absolutely wracking your brain, and with his thrusting came the occasional groan, or “ah” or “fuck.” He put his hand behind your head and leaned in to kiss you sloppily, letting lust take the two of you over.

All of a sudden he pulled out, just barely out of you, his tip almost touching your entrance. He watched the confusion on your face as he hadn’t yet gone back in, knowing how badly you wanted him back, he began to tease you.

“How badly do you want it?”

“So badly, please”

“Not yet,” he said, “I want to hear you beg.”

“Fuck. Please fuck me,” you pleaded.

He grinned and pushed back inside you with delicate force, putting his hands on side of your waist and pulling you into each thrust. He leaned in for a kiss and you took the opportunity to pull him in to you even closer, chests touching, feeling his warmth. He nestled his head in your neck, sucking lightly, enough to titillate but not leave a mark. You held tightly onto his back, trying to keep yourself from digging into it and scratching him, but maybe he would like that, you thought. As he thrusted, you bucked your hips against him, fucking him back. He let out a moan into your ear, unable to hold it in any longer. You could sense that rush flooding in, trying to overtake you, you tried to push back in order to keep yourself going longer but it was growing increasingly obvious that the time was nearing. You could feel within his recent movements that he was in a similar boat. He leaned in for one more kiss, letting out a moan, “Uugh, fuck,” into your mouth as he did so. With this you found yourself unable to hold it in.

“Trey, I’m gonna cum,” you moan, pulling him in as hard and close as you possibly could, bucking your hips hard, riding out the high as you felt your body nearly shaking against his.

He continued pumping, almost reaching that same limit himself, with your own release pushing him over the edge. He pulled out quickly with an “ah” pumping along his cock as he aimed it towards your tits. He kept pumping, letting out sounds of ecstasy and relief, spurting his cum all over your chest.

“Shit,” he exhaled, while flopping over and laying next to you. You noticed some of his cum had landed on his stomach, sitting lightly on his happy trail.

“Hey, you got a lil sumthin,” you said with a point and a smile.

“Oh…” he looked down at himself and then looked at you, remembering how much he had doused you, “Oh! I’ll get a towel!”

You told him where to find one and he soon returned wielding a washcloth, he gently cleaned you up before tossing the towel off the side of the bed, then laying back down beside you.

“So uh… does this warrant me getting some extra credit?” You joked.

He laughed lightly and responded, “Oh, after that? You just passed the class with flying colors.”

#trey parker #trey parker x reader

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claymoresword · 1 year

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You Get Me So High | Maddy Perez x Rue Bennett

Summary: Rue and Maddy are going on a double date but while alone in the car, they get carried away. 18+

Pairing: Rue x Maddy

Wordcount: 1.5k

Warnings: porn basically no plot, top!rue, pda

Note: i saw that pic of zendaya for the first time today and lost my mind a little.. just got me thinking abt how maddy would react seeing rue wear something like that lol needless to say i got carried away but ur gonna benefit from that! enjoy!

ps: its canon to me whenever maddy and rue are together they act like they're the only two people on earth.. cute but totally inconsiderate to everyone around them

apologies for the sheer amount of typos

"For fuck sake." Rue sighs.

She's been searching for something to binge on Netflix but nothing is peaking her interest. Rue stares at her laptop for a few more seconds until she decides to give up.

She picks up her phone and decides to text Maddy instead. The raven haired latina always seemed to have some new gossip to share with her, maybe tonight will be the same.

It's almost as if Maddy could telepathically hear Rue's cry for help because before she's managed to type anything, her phone lights up with a text.

Mads

picking u up in 5 mins.

Rue's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Rue

what

where we going ?

Mads

kat invited us bowling w her and ethan

u wanna spend time with me don't u

Rue

ofc i do

but i wish you'd tell me earlier i need to mentally prepare for stuff like this

Mads

what does that even mean

im outside btw

Rue glances at her outfit. She's only wearing grey sweatpants and a t shirt. She's basically dressed for bed.

Rue ponders for a second. Maybe she should go put on something else.

Maddy doesnt allow her girlfriend to ruminate on the thought a second longer, she aggressively sounds the car horn.

The older girl is notoriously impatient, Rue will not risk getting on her bad side tonight.

Without missing a beat Rue quickly grabs her phone and wallet, climbing out her bedroom window to meet Maddy in the car.

Rue climbs in the vehicle and greets Maddy with a peck on the lips.

The shorter girl taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss for a few moments, settling her hand on the back of Rue's neck.

"Hey" Rue breathes out against Maddy's lips, as a smile forms on her own.

"Hi" The older girl responds, reciprocating the smile.

Rue leans back and reaches over to put on her seat belt.

"You're literally an angel sent to save me from existential boredom." Rue quips.

Maddy rolls her eyes in response but a smile forms on her lips.

---

They pull up to the bowling arena and Maddy takes one final look at herself in the car mirror, running her hands through her hair, making sure she looks presentable.

As Maddy was focused on herself Rue unwarily grabs the bottom of her t shirt lifting it to wipe her mouth. Exposing her toned stomach.

It was only then when Maddy took notice of what Rue was wearing.

She had on an oversized t shirt with grey sweatpants that hung just below her waist, her boxers showing a little.

Maddy feels something stir in the pit of her stomach. She can't really explain why she finds it so attractive. She's heard people talk about how hot sweatpants were on men but she always found it was overrated.

Seeing it on Rue however, it makes sense.

It's as if they were invented specifically for her.

Her girlfriend's ability to look good without really trying has always been something Maddy admired.

Rue goes to pull up her pants slightly still unware of her girlfriend gawking at her.

Maddy then focuses her eyes on Rue's hands, she notices her prominent veins and long fingers.

Her talented fingers.

The taller girl's hands were noticeably large compared to Maddy's smaller more delicate ones.

Rue always knows what to do with her hands.

Maddy finds herself picturing Rue's hands all over her body, grabbing her thighs, her chest, her ass.

Maddy's train of thought gets interrupted when Rue clears her throat. Now finally aware of her girlfriends fixed gaze on her.

"Can i help you with something?" Rue asks humor evident in her tone.

"Hm?" Maddy responds meeting her girlfriend's gaze an innocuous look on her face.

"You're eyeing me like a piece of meat." Rue states.

A smirk forms across Maddy's face but doesn't say anything in response, only leaning in to pull the taller girl in for a deep kiss.

Rue kisses Maddy back just as hard, she leans forward slightly her hand moving to rub the older girl's exposed thigh.

Another rush of arousal goes through Maddy's body this time settling right at her core.

She pushes Rue backwards the younger girl now back in her own seat.

Maddy quickly unbuckles her seatbelt moving her legs up, straddling Rue, her legs settling on either side of the taller girl's hips.

Maddy tugs at the hem of Rue's sweatpants as she places a wet kiss on her neck. She then runs her tongue along the base of her ear before moving down again settling on her pulse point. Rue's breathing quickens, urging the smaller girl to bite down on her neck. That earned a louder more desperate noise from the younger girl.

"Baby, we're in a parking lot." Rue whispers, referring to the amount people going in and out of their cars in the busy area.

"I don't care." Maddy responds, kissing her girlfriend again before grabbing Rue's hand, placing it on her own ass.

Rue gives Maddy's ass a firm squeeze before slowly finding her way back to her thigh.

She lifts up Maddy's skirt slightly, exposing her girlfriend's underwear and giving herself more access.

Rue's is once again rubbing at her girlfriend's thigh but moving no further.

Maddy grows more impatient as she squirms in her girlfriend's lap. Eventually seeking more friction for her now throbbing core, Maddy starts grinding against the taller girl's lap, her hand getting lost in Rue's hair giving it a firm tug.

Rue moves her hand up and kneads Maddy's breast over her top.

The smaller girl's breathing now heavy as a moan spills out of her directly into Rue's mouth, hips still moving against her lap.

"Fuck me." Maddy breathes out, her voice trembling.

Rue moves her hand now placing the palm of her hand directly onto her girlfriend's center rubbing circles over the fabric of her underwear.

Maddy moves her hips following the motion, grinding against Rue's hand.

The younger girl finds the zipper on Maddy's jacket and unzips it with one hand exposing her bare chest. Rue's mouth quickly takes Maddy's nipples into her mouth. Licking it in circles matching the momentum of her other hand on Maddy's pussy.

Maddy whines, growing more desperate.

She hastily grabs Rue's hand dipping it into her underwear, signaling for Rue to put her fingers inside her.

The younger girl dips two fingers into her girlfriend's entrance feeling just how wet the older girl was. Her fingers slide into her with ease and she starts pumping, quick and deep, feeling Maddy's walls contract against her.

Maddy starts moving her hips again, this time bouncing up and down on Rue's fingers assisting with her own pleasure.

Rue feels Maddy's arousal drip onto her hand and down the shorter girl's thigh. Her own breathing now growing more ragged as she watches her girlfriend move against her fingers.

Rue thought Maddy always looked beautiful but she was truly most breathtaking when she's on top of her like this, eager and wanting for release.

Maddy's moans now growing louder and more obscene.

People walking past definitely heard them but Rue didn't care anymore, she actually found immense pleasure in it.

"Fuck- Rue" Maddy chokes out. Hearing her girlfriend say her name with such need sent a jolt throughout Rue's body.

She starts pumping into the older girl deeper and harder.

Like a reflex, Maddy's hand moves to Rue's throat wrapping her fingers around and holding her firmly in place.

She was about to cum, Rue could tell based on Maddy's grip on her neck accompanied with the expression her face and the feeling of her walls tightening against her fingers.

Just as Maddy was reaching her climax, Rue leans forward and bites down on Maddy's neck, hard.

The older girl screams out, and Rue brings her hand over her mouth muffling the deafening sounds of pleasure spilling out of her girlfriend.

Maddy's eyes roll to the back of her head and her whole body is now trembling, as the intense orgasm rips through her.

Rue watches her girlfriend in awe.

She pulls her fingers out of her and Maddy whines at the loss.

Eyes hooded, she watches as Rue licks her fingers clean.

Maddy crashes their lips, rubbing her tongue against Rue's, tasting herself.

"You're so fucking amazing." Maddy says breathless, once their lips disconnected.

Rue pulls her girlfriend in for another kiss without saying a word merely smiling into it, and then moving to place a quick kiss on Maddy's forehead.

Maddy leans her head against Rue's chest, letting herself rest on her lap, trying to regain her strength.

Rue takes the opportunity to rub Maddy's back soothingly giving her the time she needs to recover.

Their moment of bliss was finally interrupted when they hear knocks on the window.

It was Kat.

"What the hell? I've been texting you. This is what you've been doing?" Kat huffs, evidently annoyed.

Maddy lifts her head and meets Rue's gaze both of them stiffling a laugh.

#euphoria #euphoria fic #maddy perez #maddy perez smut #maddy perez x reader #rue bennett #rue bennett smut #rue bennett x reader #maddy perez x rue bennett #maddy x rue

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somejazzinthemorning · 1 year

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tightrope. 03

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Original Female Character Warnings: Language Word Count: 7.241 Previous chapter: 02.

Drowning myself in work is my go-to coping mechanism for more than half of my problems.

I'll either resort to racing or tracing brand strategies in an attempt to avoid having to face whatever problem throws my way and, that night, being 11 pm on a Wednesday, my laptop and the small whiteboard on my desk became my saving grace.

Despite the burning eyes and my aching back, after hours sat at my desk, my mind was still racing, high on whatever feelings the brush of his lips had evoked in my body. I fell asleep to the memory of his eyes and the velvet lips.

There was no way to escape it. We were already falling.

I woke up late, the next day.

My phone had a full wall of notifications ready to present me. A single text in the middle of the dozens of work-related emails, most of them answers to the ones I’d written during the night and scheduled to be sent in the early hours of the work day. I only realised I was smiling, probably high on my own expectations, when I felt my smile drop, after seeing who sent the text. Amanda. Not him.

“those updates on the project at 3 am??? r u okay?”

“sorry! i remembered to schedule the emails, but forgot about the notes on the project.” "got some good work done, tho”

"need to take a moment to reread all of your incoherent notes” "all that rambling is… wow” "BUUUUUT come to the office” "the things from the berlin store just arrived, you will love them”

"can’t make it today” "send pics!”

"come tomorrow, then! ill get churros for breakfast”

My phone went back to the nightstand and I pulled up the comforter, wrapping it around myself in an attempt to find some security and calm of mind. I peered out from under the comforter, staring at the dark room, only lightened by some streaks of light created from a gap in the blinds. I was still tired from the night, and my mind scrambled from everything we had shared.

Eventually, I left the bed. My mom was downstairs, and a copy of Shadow of the Wind rested on the kitchen counter while she cooked lunch. Frank Sinatra played on the old record player in the living room and the music continued to stretch around the house as we ate together. Luckily, her birthday party was keeping her busy; busy enough that she didn't remember to ask me about the dinner from last night.

Truth be told: I'm a terrible liar. I would never be able to escape her questions.

At the end of the day, I met Rocco for a workout, in a nearby gym. He was waiting for me, leaning against the reception counter, teal Puma t-shirt paired with an amused smirk; I knew he was more than ready to put me through my paces. And I was right. It only took me a couple of exercises to lay on the floor, panting and sweating."Have you thought about what you're doing next season?" I looked up, in the direction of the voice. Rocco was standing in front of me, holding my water bottle.

I sat up straight and extended my hand to grab it. "Not yet," the water was cold and refreshing. Just what I needed. "Maybe a third year in the Challenge and," I paused to breathe. "You know, the reserve seat. Not ideal, but yeah."

He frowned, sitting down on one of the plyo boxes near me. "But yeah?"

"Yeah. Works." I answered, laying back down on the green turf. The small fake grass ticklish on my legs and arms. "Not much, but it's racing."

"I think I'll pretend you didn't say that."

"Why? It's just how it is."

He cleared his throat, the deep sound making me open my eyes and stare at him again. "Up," he commanded, refusing to help me get up. I brought the hand I'd just held up to the floor, to help me get up.

"I thought we were done," I said. He didn't even need to say anything to make me understand that we were, in fact, not done. "Are you mad?"

“Annoyed,” he turned back to me. “What the heck was that answer? Of course, a third year in the Challenge and a reserve seat in WEC are not ideal. I was hoping for a real answer, not some… whatever that was.”

“It’s the reality,” I shrugged. Instead of turning back and going back to do whatever he was about to do, he just kept looking at me. Not the conversation I was hoping for today.

“You had a plan. What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing happened. I had a plan. And it’s going as it’s possible.”

"Excuses, Eva," Rocco exclaimed. He stepped forward and looked me in the eye. "You have a plan. You know what you want. And you have the talent."

“Congrats, you just solved gender inequality.” I gave him an ironic thumbs up, my mind still scrambled from the efforts of the workout and the encounter from last night. This kind of conversation was not what I wanted.

“You’re more than capable of getting a decent seat next year.”

“As we know,” I wiggled my finger between both of us, “It’s a tough path. Being capable won’t get me a seat. ”

“Locking yourself in an office keeping track of TikTok trends will?” I sent him a look. He held up his hands in defence. “You’re making excuses. There are other drivers fighting for the same things as you are and they are not taking no for an answer.”

“Neither am I.”

"Come on," he chortled, eying me carefully. I could tell that he wanted the best for me, but I was not really in the mood to discuss this at the moment. "When was the last time you actually planned something for yourself, and not just some new fashion designer or boujie vegan chef?"

I felt a little bit of annoyance creeping its way up my spine. I had been pushing myself so hard for the last few months, and I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with all the pressure.

“Can we focus on the races I have left to win?” I asked, my voice taking on an exasperated tone. “We can talk about this after I win this championship?”

“Sure.” He bent down to grab a 15 kg power bag from the floor and dropped it off at my feet. "This wasn't planned, but that self-pity is annoying me."

“A punishment?" I took my hands to my hips, a light chortle abandoning my lips. "Burpees and never-ending lounges? That's what you think I need right now?"

"No, no burpees," he said, his grin widening. "But maybe a few extra lounges wouldn't hurt." He was clearly enjoying this. I rolled my eyes and glanced down at the power bag in front of me.

“It was not—”

He cleared his throat, cutting me off, and I went silent. Then, looking at him, I saw that he was grinning at me once again, content. Yeah, it was self-pity. Yeah, the future is scary, especially when you’re a 25-year-old woman in motorsports and your career seems to be stuck.

I took a deep breath and bent over to pick up the bag, the cold weight of it dragging my body down to the ground. Rocco took a few steps back and then motioned me with his head to start.

"Andiamo," he said. “20 steps back and forth. Three series.”

So I did. I started lounging with the bag, back and forth across the green patch of turf on that side of the gym, trying to keep a steady pace. With each step, the pressure of the bag weighed me down. I kept going, pushing forward and gritting my teeth against the pain. When I finally reached the twentieth step, I dropped the bag and breathed out, my body aching from the effort.

By the end of the third series, I had pushed my body to its very limits and back. I sunk down onto the cool grass beneath me, feeling the relief of the softness beneath me—my muscles aching and my body dripping with sweat, my hair matted to my neck and temples.

Rocco sat near me, guiding me through a couple of moves, helping me to loosen my tight muscles and stretch out my body. Despite the big (and somewhat threatening) muscles he had a gentle touch.

“What’s on your mind?”

"Hm?" I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing together as I closed my eyes, feeling his hand pressing down on my thigh, pushing it firmly against the hard floor. I could feel the pain radiating through my body, but I tried to focus on the sensation of his grip.

“You always complain this hurts,” he said. I opened one eye. Now, I could feel the pressure from his grip. Probably something shifted on my face because he instantly asked, “Now it hurts?”

"It hurt before, I was just distracted." I shook my head, closing my eyes again and focusing on the sensation of his grip. “I’m free to feel like shit when things go badly." I let out.

“Things are not going badly,” he sighed, leaving my leg and switching to the other. “You’re simply letting yourself fall behind.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, my head falling back against the floor. I stayed there for a few moments, my heart pounding against my chest and my thoughts racing a million miles per hour. When I finally opened my eyes again, I looked up at Rocco, this time because I felt my thigh burning with discomfort, he was still looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Too much." I glanced below while patting his arm. He raised an eyebrow, implying more pressure. "Ei!" I scrunched my nose. He just arched a brow. Sadistic fucker. “What? Are you going to hurt me until I hold someone at gunpoint and ask for a seat?”

“You talk like you don’t have good offers, Eva.”

“What is a good offer? Driving against 19-year-old boys in Formula 3? It’s humiliating.”

“W Series?” He suggested.

“I want to race with men and show people I can win against them.” I sat down. Rocco took his hands from my legs. My muscles tingled with the same intensity my thoughts did. “I like the Challenge because I’m showing them I can do it. But the team does not have a budget to race in other series. And I can’t be a reserve forever. So I can do another year and hope things change.”

“See? You’re choosing to fall behind.” He took a deep breath, understanding my frustration. "You can always look for sponsorship," he said, his eyes focused on the floor. "You have the talent, the connections—"

“I spent my teenage years sending letters and desperately trying to talk to people. You saw how that went.”

“You have results to show them, now. In two weeks you’ll have a championship.” I dragged my hands over my face. Instant regret. Both my hands and face were tingling with the same intensity my thoughts did. “W Series will give you exposure. Will give you points. You need points..”

“Why are you so interested now?” I arched an eyebrow, feeling a bit suspicious. “The year is long. Anything can happen. A lot can change.”

“I just don’t see you planning ahead.” He deadpanned, his expression unreadable. “What if you can’t do another season of the Challenge? Will you be content with just being a reserve in WEC?”

“Why so many ifs?” I asked, still feeling a bit apprehensive.

“Motorsports are unpredictable,” he replied, his voice steady and sure. “I’ve been around long enough to know that. And I’m your coach, not just a trainer. It’s kinda my responsibility to do this.”

“Nah, I’m not having it.” I paused, still not entirely convinced. “Do you know something I don’t?”

Rocco just shook his head. The dark strands of his hair moved in unison. “Eva—” He shrugged. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. Whatever he was about to say, it seemed like it wasn't completely true. "One," he continued; his tone shifting. "I don't want to be left without a job when you get bored of racing." I threw my towel at him, though I knew he was only joking. Unfortunately, he dodged it. "Two," he continued, "you're racing like a pro. You should race with the pros."

At least, in one thing he was right. I was racing like a pro.

On the other hand, I was not acting like one.

My team and my dad, the main sponsor, were the only support I had. Despite having other offers, none met our expectations. I had been a third, fourth, or fifth driver for too long. I had spent too much time in the garage, running simulations, and taking part in test sessions. Years of it. Each of these experiences had demoralized me.

Racing in the Challenge, learning with my team, taking time to understand the car and driving it to a podium made sense to me. Standing in the garage and hoping for someone to get food poisoning or COVID was not only morally wrong but also quite dull.

“Did you make this whole drama when Rio told you he wanted to stop racing and just go to college and become an engineer?” I asked, getting up from the floor and picking up my towel, still lying on the ground.

“It was worse actually,” my trainer said, following me. “I think I almost killed him when he told me.”

“We make quite the pair, don’t we?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, you do. Your poor father has his hands full with you two.” We stopped walking when we reached the locker room. “Go have a shower and get some rest.”

The second I reached my locker and opened the wooden door, I reached for my phone, looking for a message that hadn't arrived. Pathetic. A part of me considered taking the initiative and being the one to call or text him but, to be honest, what was left for me to say?

I had already told him everything by asking him not to kiss me and I might have told him even more by refusing to let go of him.

The office smelled of churros, so I knew Amanda was around. Either that or someone else had the same idea as her.

Familiar faces smiled back at me as I crossed the corridors and the work areas until I finally reached the common area and took one of the available seats. Since I had chosen to work remotely, and only visited the office casually for occasional meetings or when I needed a place where I could focus, I wasn't given an office.

The room was filled with the buzz of people chatting and the occasional laughter, making me feel a bit out of place. I knew most of them (read: I knew their names and which projects were under their purview), but rarely talked to any of them. Amanda, one of my friends from college, and the one who had introduced me to this agency was the only one I regularly talked with.

I sat down in my chair and pulled my laptop out of my bag. After talking with Rocco yesterday, I decided to take action on my career and spent last night looking at emails and reading my dad's notes on the sides of those he considered important enough to print. So, when I opened my laptop, my screen showed me my Notion board, which honestly felt like a showcase of my own failures. Not the first thing I wanted to see that morning.

A knock on the glass divider of the office made me lift my head up and find Amanda on the other side of it. A beautiful purple jumper highlighted her beautiful curves; her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. In her hands, a white box.

I waved at her.

“Vamos,” she motioned with her head. “Before anyone tries to steal these from me.”

I smiled and grabbed my laptop, zipping it up before getting up and walking towards her. “You know I have an important weekend ahead, right?”

She laughed, opening the box. “A churro won't weigh you down, don't worry.”

I took one of them and walked near her to the cafeteria. The morning light was soft, and the day was not too warm. Ideal to sit on the balcony and talk for a while. So, that's what we did. I grabbed coffee for both, while she walked outside.

The sunshine on my skin was just a slight warmth as I leaned on my chair, and the smooth breeze of the morning cooled off my skin. Traffic sounds in the background, the ruffle of chairs and the occasional bark of one of the dogs playing on the balcony of the start-up that shares the building with us.

While having a sip of her coffee, I noticed Amanda's eyes widening, and I could practically see the bell ringing in her mind. Instantly, my brows were drawn together. Brace yourself, Eva.

"So, I heard on Twitter dot com…" I rolled my eyes at the last part, and despite provoking a small chuckle from her, she didn't stop talking and her gaze still remained twinkling mischievously. "Carlos was in Mugello last weekend."

Oh, for fucks sake.

"If that's what Twitter says, it must be true."

"Yes. So," she paused. Her head tilted slightly, honestly looking like a pup who saw a threat in the distance. "Did you two talk?"

I shook my head; my fingers busy on the handle of my mug, desperately trying to seem unbothered by the question. "Nah, we didn't talk."

"You sure?" She asked, her eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, my voice steady. "It's not like we're friends or anything."

"That's too bad," she murmured, a hint of disbelief in her voice. "It's not like Carlos and your brother are still like, the best of friends and maybe— maybe he went there to visit him and you end up talking?"

I sighed. "Stop it."“You're a terrible liar, Eva.” Amanda said bluntly, her gaze intense.

“Amanda,” I said, my voice stern and my eyes piercing. "Stop it."

“So, you talked.” Amanda gave me a knowing look. "I knew it. I saw those tweets and I realised we had barely talked this week, and that only happens when you're too busy overthinking. And then boom, I woke up to dozens of notes made at 2 am? You always go to bed early." She crossed her arms, her gaze still intense. "Come on, just tell me what happened. If it’s not him, it’s anything else. That worries me too. I'm here for you, no judgement."

I sighed. "Fine," I said, setting my mug down and leaning back on the chair. "We talked. A lot. We actually had dinner."

Amanda's gaze softened, but then she frowned again. “Dinner? The three of you?”

“The two of us.”

"Just the two of you?" Amanda's eyes widened in surprise, lips smiling brightly. I nodded to her question. "What did you talk about?"

A part of me wanted to end it there. The other part of me needed some guidance. And Amanda was a friend, she always had good advice. On the downside, she loved to gossip. But we were friends. Guidance. But gossip.

I shrugged. “Just normal things. Racing.”

“Okaaaay, that’s good.” At this point, her lips were curving up like she was the one having dinner with him. I couldn’t decide if her reaction annoyed me or made me happy. "So, what now? Are you going to keep in contact with him?"

I shook my head. "I don't think the dinner changed anything.” Liar.

“Eva,” she propped her elbows on the table. “You’re a terrible liar. Spit it out. What happened? If you don’t want to talk about it, tell me that. Just don’t lie.”

Talking about it would make a big deal. A bigger deal, actually. I dragged my hands over my face, tired and confused. Thinking about it was challenging enough and I truly didn't want to transform all my confusion and emotions into words. Amanda, on the other hand, couldn't hide the fact that she wanted the truth, her gaze so strong it almost made me melt over the iron (and obnoxiously red) chair I was sitting on.

So I told her. Every single detail. From the glorious vision of him under the bright lights of my garage, which for a second made me feel like I was living in an alternate world, through the call at dawn, to his gauze under the beautiful sunset glow. His warm, velvety lips brushing against mine. I told her about the “I think I might have loved you, too”, and the way that even in my dreams I couldn’t seem to forget his scent when he hugged me goodbye.

I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, as I spilled my heart out onto that small table, and when I finished all I could hear was the sound of her sigh. A ridiculous rom-com kind of sigh.

“I just feel like we messed it up because of pure desperation,” I said, crossing one leg over the other and looking around. “He messed it up. I think we just missed each other so much we… I don’t know. Got confused on the feelings?”

“He messed up?”

“I didn’t kiss him back. I just asked him to please, don’t.” It was more ridiculous saying it out loud now than when I recalled the moment in my mind.

“You’re even stupider than I thought,” was her answer. I arched my brow. “The guy cooked for you, at his place, told you he “thinks he loved you too” and tries to kiss you and now you’re mad because he didn’t text you?” She paused. “What the hell will he say? Of course, he won’t text you. What would you say to someone after being denied a kiss? Text him yourself.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Why not? I asked myself the same question. Because I can’t trust him to stay. Better, because I can’t trust him to not leave. “Don’t be stubborn, come on. Just by looking at you, I know you’re dying to get that kiss.”

“Can’t we go back inside and talk about work?”

“Oh, no, missy.” She shook her head. “Those AB tests can wait. I want to talk about you and how you’re so dumb you might lose the chance of your life.”

“You’re exaggerating. As always.”

“Eva.” She was stern, her eyes burning on me. “He was your best friend. At least try to mend that friendship. Even if you don’t want anything else. Whatever the reason.”

I sighed, bowing my head in defeat. Amanda had a way of making me see sense, even when I didn't want to. "And if I can’t see him as a friend but still can’t give a step in the other direction?”

“Then, you give it time. Just don’t give it too much space.” She got up from her chair. Mug on one hand. The empty white box on the other. “Remember how that worked up last time.”

Fact one about Amanda: she was probably the most curious person I knew. Any arguments in the office, celebrity rumours or gossip of literally any kind she knew by heart, down to the last detail. And while that was remotely irritating, especially at exhausting times, like during Amber and Johnny’s trial, or when (especially when) the news broke about Pique and Shakira's divorce, it could also be a blessing. At least from my point of view. Perhaps all the stories contributed to her having a broader view of relationships and, as a result, being so good at giving advice. Fact two: there was no one more insistent than her, so, evidently, she couldn’t leave the office without reminding me to text him.

It was 5 pm, and I was utterly absorbed in the presentation for the new restaurant. I was head down, consumed by the details of culinary and marketing analytics, and, to tell the truth, my mind was so focused on this project that I couldn't really think of anything else.

Amanda was getting ready to leave. Jacquemus purse over her shoulder and a strong pink lipstick on the place where a less saturated one had been during the day.

“You stay?” She asked me.

“Aham,” I briefly made my eyes leave the screen to look at her. “I need to finish this. Next week I’ll be too busy.”

“You leaving for Italy on Monday?”

“Tuesday,” I corrected her, my eyes going back down to the laptop. “Don’t want to leave this to the last minute.”

“Okay. I’ll try to have a look at it before you leave. Also,” my eyes went up again. “Send the man a good luck text.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. "He doesn't need my luck text.”

Amanda nodded, her eyes still twinkling mischievously. "Okay, send him a whatever text, then. An emoji. Like his Instagram story.”

“I’m afraid liking his story won’t work.” I leaned back on her office chair, which I had taken in the middle of the day when she needed to leave for a meeting and left me to use her small office.

“Text him, then. Anything. I wouldn’t let Carlos Sainz escape, but you do you, babes,” she shrugged, turning her back to me to walk to the door.“Enjoy the weekend. Besos!”

“Bye!”

I didn’t text him. Of course. In the same way, she was insistent, I was stubborn.

Actually, let me rephrase it.

I didn’t text him then.

Mid-afternoon, Rio had called inviting me to dinner, and when I asked about the kids, he told me he had booked a nanny, so they would stay home. It was either business or pleasure. I didn't need to ask; as soon as he mentioned my dad was invited, I knew we'd be discussing business. And after Rocco's worries last night, I knew it was partly my business, too.

My nerves were on edge as I prepared to leave the office. They only worsened as I neared the restaurant - a way too fancy place for a Friday dinner with the family.

Crossing the sidewalk, my heels clacking on the cement, my head spinning from the long hours in front of my laptop, and the anxiety building in my chest, I looked inside. My dad was seated at the end of the table, with an empty seat to his right - the seat I was supposed to take. Marjorie was already waving at me. Smiling politely to the man standing at the door, I said, "They're waiting for me." He nodded and let me enter.

My eyes drifted to their table, and I allowed myself a few seconds to study the mood. They were laughing, but my palms were still sweating as I settled in for what would surely be an uncomfortable conversation.

"Sorry, traffic," I said, punctuating my apology with a kiss on each of my parents' cheeks. "Am I too late?"

"No, no," my dad said, his voice warm and comforting. "Your brother was about to tell me something, but you just distracted him. Go ahead, Fabrizio."

I turned to him, curious.

"I'm sure we can wait a bit more. Just... after the food," he said.

"Why are you so nervous?" Marjorie asked, her violet fingernails softly laying over his arm in a gentle caress. "It's something good," she said to me. "Don't worry."

"Are you pregnant again?" my mom asked.

"No! No, no!" my sister-in-law responded quickly, her voice almost echoing in the room. Even Rio seemed surprised by her rapid response. "It's Rio's news. Not mine."

“After the food, then,” my father said.

“I hate it when I do that,” I muttered to my brother, grabbing the menu from the table and letting my eyes drift through the print. “You haven’t ordered yet, right?”

My dad shook his head. "We were waiting for you.”

I glanced at the menu one last time before setting it back down. My dad's hand called for a waiter and, after the young man left, the conversation resumed. As usual before any Grand Prix, the race weekend was the matter on the table and, that night specifically, Carlos' penalty was the urgent matter. Ferrari had the pace and Carlos had the skill, but as I sat there, hearing my brother and dad's input on how wise the choice had or hadn't been, my attention diverged to the DNF he had suffered in Austria, less than two weeks ago. Vivid images of the flames engulfing the car, the heartbreaking words on the radio, and the cheers that echoed through the crowd as his teammate stepped onto the top step filled my mind.

One feeling the glory, the other one consumed in ruin.

“Good luck out there this weekend.” "Don’t pull another Austria. That one was scary.”

Done. I’d texted him. For better or for worse, it was done. And I didn’t have time to put the phone back in the purse before it vibrated again in my hand.

“Thank you. I really need it.”

I checked the time.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’m resting." "Listening to my teammate rant about food, but resting.”

“Why? Did you tell him about the cheese-less pasta you tried to feed me?” “If I expect Leclerc to teach you something is how to cook pasta."

"He’s a terrible cooker.” “I’m better learning it from you.”

"I’ll be sure to give you a lesson someday."

"I'll hold you to that."

"What are you smiling about?" Marjorie asked, my attention immediately being grabbed from my screen to the table.

"Nothing, sorry," I said quickly, tucking my phone back into my purse. "Amanda just texted me about the work I was finishing.”

"Ah, Eva, if you put that effort into racing…" he said, as the waiter came back with our food. I tried to ignore him, especially because there was no use fighting back his comment.

Even with the food on the table and the anticipation to find out about Rio’s news tugging on my chest, the conversation didn’t go further from Formula 1. My dad, a lifelong Italian Ferrari fan and a very biased Carlos supporter was ranting over the lack of professionalism he was sensing from the team and how the choices they repeatedly made ruined not only the drivers but the prestige of the team. Nothing new. Rio and I have been listening to the same tirade for a long couple of years and nothing seemed to change, even after the amazing start to the season the team had.

“I had my reservations at first, but you could be a nice fit for the team, actually”, my dad said, pointing at Rio, with the knife he was using to cut his steak. Rio looked confused at him, and then, at me. “Have they given you an answer?”

What?

For a moment, I felt like I’d fallen on a different table, a completely different conversation. My gaze shifted from one to the other, confused by my father’s question.

“Who’s they?” I asked. Marjorie was biting her lip; her violet fingertips on my brother’s arm, once again.

“Ferrari,” my father responded, clearly stepping over my brother’s feet. Rio seemed bothered; clenched jaw, restless fingers that Marjorie tried to calm by positioning hers over. “Are those the news?” He asked him.

Rio nodded, his jaw unclenching and his lips transforming to a slight grin. "Yep. They offered me a job." He looked around the table, his gaze caught mine for a second but quickly left again. “I need to let them know my decision until Monza.”

“You applied for a job at Ferrari?” I asked. Honestly, I was so confused I couldn’t piece all the things together. “We’re doing so good at the Challenge, you could have waited for just one m—”

“Eva.” My dad interrupted me. The strong stern voice pulled my attention. The authority value of his words over the sweet comforting voice of the beginning of the dinner. The mood had definitely shifted “Wait? You’re the one that’s always urging the team to aim for higher heights.”

"Exactly. The team won't do that without Rio."

"But your brother will. And so will you." I tried to interject but with no success. He continued before I even had the chance to talk. "You can't possibly think your brother would stay with the team knowing he could have this huge opportunity."

"I didn't know about any opportunity." I was replying to my father, but my eyes were directed to Rio. "What about the team? And the Challenge?" I inquired.

"In less than two weeks, the championship will be over. I have no doubts you will win it. You're just losing time there," my father's tone was bothering me, but the fact that he was still cutting his steak as he talked was really aggravating my temper.

Rio, on the other hand, didn't react. His expression didn't even shift. He remained silent, eyes shifting between mine and dad's face. In his silence, though, he was telling me much more than he thought.

"This is not a formality," I said to my father. "Can you please look at me while you talk about our future?"

Finally, he put down his cutlery and remained silent for a few seconds. Deep blue eyes looked up at me, cold and serious.

"There's no future for you if you're afraid to take a serious step," he said finally. "I won't let your brother get stuck in the Challenge when I know he can do so much more. I won't let you make him fall behind because of you."

"Because of me?"

"Why else would he stay at the Challenge?" I stayed silent, feeling my fake sense of confidence being stripped away with the weight of my dad's question. The answer that my conscience gave me was selfish and I refused to say it out loud. I was afraid of staying alone, rather, I was afraid to see Rio flying solo in the higher aims I ambitioned for me and not being able to carry along. Only if he waited, we could jump up together. "Why would he choose anything less than Formula One?"

"So, you have it decided, then?" I asked Rio. "How did that even happen?"

His tongue crept in between his lips, eyes wandering on my face, afraid to reach my eyes. It was making me nervous. Not just because he was about to leave me, but because he didn't tell me about it, prior. My dad knew about it. He even thought that I knew about it. And like a lightning bulb lighting up on my head: Rocco knew it, too.

"It was proposed to me. The job. At Silverstone, a few weeks ago." Even though Rio was stuttering, and his words barely constructed a sentence, piece by piece it all fell together. "Apparently, Carlos talked to someone about you. About the Challenge. And he mentioned me, my results..." he explained. "Carlos invited me there for the Grand Prix and surprised me with an interview."

Why didn't it surprise me? Carlos. The “right time”, of course.

"Your results? Why hide this from me?” I asked, looking around the table. “Clearly, everyone else knows.”

“I wanted to tell you, but didn’t get the chance to do it.”

“But what?” I asked, half defeated, half annoyed. Angry, even. There was so much going on inside me, I couldn’t think straight. “You just said you had the interview in Silverstone. Weeks ago. You had plenty of opportunities.”

“I knew you would snap and react like this,” Rio tried to justify himself.

“Snap? I’m not—” I paused and took a deep breath. At this point, I was seething with anger. “I’m asking questions. I’m not… snapping.”

“You should be happy for me,” I would if I didn’t feel betrayed. “I know you well enough to know that you would react… badly to the news. Especially if you knew Carlos was involved**.**”

Even though his name was blinking on my head, in bold red letters, I tried to set apart his involvement in this story. So, I carried on,

“And you’re just going to do it? Leave the team, the whole project and ditch us? Without even consulting me?”

He shrugged. “I’m consulting you now.”

“This is not a consultation, Rio. Please.” A pause. “This is you telling me what you’re going to do, without even considering my opinion or the team that’s behind your great results.”

“Go ahead.” He made a gesture with his hand. “What’s your opinion, then? You are the one that’s always telling me to aim higher. This is my dream. Always has been.”

“What? Formula One? I thought your dream was to drive in Formula One. Or was that before you noticed you’re a shitty driver? Enlighten me.”

“Eva, enough,” the deep voice cut me off.

I felt like I was going to burst. I wanted to scream, to cry, to express my anger somehow. But my dad's stern gaze kept me in my place. I felt completely helpless and unheard.

“You’re being ridiculous,” said Rio, cutting through the silence. “Childish, even. Ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful? I’m not the one leaving.”

“Why does leaving need to be bad?” The question settled in for a second. “Grow a bit, and maybe you’ll get some good opportunities too.”

“Sure, maybe then my friends will get me jobs, too. Is that what you mean?”

“Enough.” My dad's fist hit the table, loud enough to silence us, but not to the point of attracting too much attention.

My gaze lingered on his clenched fist on the table. I nodded, forcing myself not to say anything else. I placed my napkin on the table and got up, making sure my chair wouldn’t make any noise when pushed back. Before turning around, I paused briefly, my gaze now resting on my brother. “Good luck with your new job.”

It didn't surprise me when I saw Carlos fly through the track the next day, setting amazing times in the qualifying session, despite the penalty waiting for him for the race. He was dancing with the car, tracing beautiful lines within the colourful ones Paul Ricard was known for. Carlos would start P19 the next day, only ahead of Magnussen, who also had a back-of-the-grid penalty.

I traded the interviews for a dip in the pool and lingered there for the remainder of the afternoon. Perhaps because I was not the best person to have around that day, my parents had left just before lunch and didn't get back until after dinner. Alone, with music echoing throughout the house and the crippling anxiety the events that week had provoked, I felt myself get lost in the doubts and uncertainties.

My phone rang when I was already getting ready for bed. On my nightstand, the name Carlos appeared over an old photo of both of us. Like I couldn't control it, I walked to the phone and sat on the bed. I let it ring a few times before picking it up.

“Hi,” he said. I just looked through the window, to the dark backyard. “No good luck text today?”

“Guess not.”

“And why's that?”

“Did you know Rio had an interview to work at Ferrari?”

“Yes...?” He paused. “Is that a problem?”

“Did you know he got a job offer?”

We both fell into a moment of silence. A long sigh stretched through the line. I closed my eyes, not sure what to expect from the conversation. The next time his voice was heard, it was more serious.

"Can we stop asking questions instead of answering them?"

"The timing is funny," I said. "Just that."

"What do you mean?"

"You coming to Mugello? Was that a coincidence?"

"Eva, what?" Carlos was silent for a few seconds. "Don't make this into a drama," he said. "Rio is talented and if he got a job offer it's because he earned it. The things are not remotely related."

"I'm not complaining about him getting the job."

"Then what are you complaining about?" Carlos asked.

"That it took you years to finally come back and talk to me and it happened just when he got a job in your team. Did you really want to talk to me or did he make you do that?"

"I didn't do it for him," Carlos said. "I did it because I wanted to see you."

"I wish I could believe you."

"And why don't you?"

"It's been three years. Coincidences don't just happen."

I could hear him breathe. Silence weighed down my chest. He wasn't denying it. He wasn't telling me why he was there, that night. "Can I see you this week?" He asked me, before a long sigh.

"No."

"I'll be in Maranello for a few days." I bit my lip, shaking my head to the void. "You'll be in Imola, right? I can go there—"

"I don't want to see you." I talked over him and then paused for a brief second. "Don't show up there, please. It's an important week and I don't really need more distractions."

“Eva, por favor.”

“Good luck tomorrow.”

I put my phone away and let myself sink into the bed, feeling nothing but the warmth of the comforters on my skin and the instant sense of security that came over me. I allowed my eyes to close and my mind to drift away, and before I knew it, a prayer for Carlos came into my thoughts.

I prayed for strength for both him and me, for us. I knew that, whether we were on or off the track, we would need to find a way to get through whatever was to come.

Next Chapter: 04.

Thank you for your support in the previous chapter! Carlos will become a more present character in the future. Pinky promise. Don't abandon me until that happens, please! <3

#tightrope #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 x reader #fanf1ction #carlos sainz angst #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz jr

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queencherryberry · 11 months

Text

So….I lied. I smoked the whole day and couldn’t resist writing chapter 6. And…uh…buckle up.

Tags: @alyyaanna @alyanamrossi @crossrhodez @mylittlepartofthegalaxy @freegardenbanananeck and anyone else who wants tagged.

Warning: implied violence, revenge, argument between reader and randy, implied sub space for reader, slight kink shaming

Chapter 6 of Brothers Best Friend

Cody let out a small chuckle rubbing your back as you clung to him still sobbing. He picked you up and took you to the bathroom and sat you on the toilet while he ran you guys a bath. You reached out to him doing grabby hands and he walked over while the tub filled up. You wrapped your arms around his waist and put your head on his abs. You just wanted some type of close contact with him. He stroked your hair as you started to calm down. For as long as he had known you, he knew physical touch was your love language. And he was prepared for how clingy you were about to become. To say he was excited for it was an understatement. When the water was sufficiently full enough he sunk into the water. You got in and sat in front of him. Your back rested against his chest and laid your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. Cody wrapped his arms around you in a hug and rested his face by your neck. You both sat in the bath in silence enjoying each others’ presence. “I love you too baby girl.” He mumbled into your skin. He was met with light snoring from you. You hadn’t realized how exhausted you were until now so dozing off wasn’t a surprise to cody. He only smiled. He placed a kiss to the side of your forehead. He held you with one arm and reached over to drain the tub with his free hand.

After drying you both off he carried you to bed where you could get some actual sleep. He was even nice enough to put in some makeshift pj’s. He used one of his shirts and hoodies and he put your sweatpants back on you. “I’ll be right back to cuddle. I still have to go clean up breakfast since it’s almost 2pm. That and I still have to get some online school work done. Rest well.” He whispered to you stroking your hair. He kissed your forehead and put his shorts back on. He heard your phone go off. He picked it up to see who it was. He furrowed his brow and walked out of the room still holding her phone. He opened the text messages. ‘Hey lil’ mama, where you at? I didn’t see you at school today. You good? You still mad about Lexi? I told you we just friends. It’s not like that. I don’t know what you think is happening, but nothing is happening. Can we talk about this? Say dinner at 7?’ Before Cody could answer another text popped up from your best friend Brandi. ‘I know you probably don’t think about him like this but how big do you think Cody’s dick is? Like do you think he’s packing? Ask your brother if Cody’s single. Or better yet next time you see him give him my number chica’ cody smirked to himself. He kept this information on the back burner. He went back to jeys text and just simply sent a dick pic. ‘Fuck off dickwad. She’s mine now.’ He then blocked Jey and erased your conversation with Jey. He then texted Brandi his number. He saw an unread message from Randy. ‘Kim’s staying for awhile. Grab what shit you want and stay out of the house for about a week or so. I’m pretty sure rhodes wouldn’t mind the company. Just try to cock block him when he brings girls home. Tell him it’s a gift from me.’ Cody set her phone down and tried not to laugh. “This mother fucker…” he said to himself. He sighed and went to the sink to start doing dishes. After 15 minutes he pulled out his laptop and started work on homework and looking through class notes. His phone buzzed. He looked and saw he had a DM for $500. He opened it, piquing his interest. The note attached to it read: ‘next tinder bitch please whip.’ He set his phone down and sighed. He debated his options. He looked over at you sleeping peacefully. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his desk chair. There was something he was forgetting but he couldn’t remember what it was. He shrugged and closed his laptop and crawled into bed with you.

About three hours later there was angry pounding on his door. “Rhodes open the fuck up. I’m going to fucking kill you.” Cody shot up in a panic. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared to open his door. You awoke too and got up. Cody tried stopping you but it was useless. You flung open the door to stare face to face with your brother. “Fuck off randal! I’m trying to fucking sleep. And if you dare lay a hand on him, I, PERSONALLY WILL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!!” You screamed at your brother. Randy’s face got redder when he saw the marks on your neck as well as the hickeys that littered your neck. “The fuck you’d do to my sister you little shit!?” Randy yelled. Before either man could blink, you gave your brother a low blow by kneeing him. You then slammed the door in his face and marched back to the bed and grabbed your blanket and curled up to Cody who still sat up shocked. He blinked a few times before laying back down. He just stared at you. He had a confused boner. He wasn’t sure if he was scared or turned on but he wasn’t going to speak on it. You grabbed his arm and dropped it over yourself aggressively. You curled up to his chest. You then moved around so you guys were spooning.

After about another 2 hours you woke up and Cody was missing. You sprang up and started looking for him. You wondered if Randy was still around. You heard laughing and it was coming from down stairs. You crept downstairs where you found your brother and Cody playing Call of Duty. Both men looked over at you creeping down the stairs. “Bout time you woke up miss priss. Thanks for the injured balls bitch.” Randy said starting another round of the game. Cody had a black eye when he looked at you. You continued down the stairs confused. You walked over and saw they were also smoking. You grabbed Randy’s cartridge and took a hit from it. “What? Not gonna sit by your boy toy? Codes told me everything. At least he’s a better candidate than fuck boy Jey.” Randy said. You got up and walked over to Cody and wrapped your arms around his shoulders and buried your face in his neck. He rubbed your arm and then went back to playing the game. You sat down next to Cody and put your head in lap. You chewed on your sleeve as you watched them play.

You soon felt Randy get up to leave. You didn’t know how long you were asleep. Cody stroked your hair and switched to a different game. He hit off his mod and leaned back into the couch. With one hand he combed through your messy hair. He thought you looked like an angel as you slept in his lap. He smiled to himself. He wasn’t playing his game for very long. He set the controller down and stretched. He looked at the time. “Sweetheart. Wake up. What do you want to eat?” He said, shaking you lightly awake. You yawned and stretched. You rubbed your eyes while stretching. You looked up at him and reached up to cup his face. You rubbed under his eye and frowned. “Randals a dick. This looks like it hurts.” You sat up still holding his face. He kissed your hand and held it in his. He looked at you sweetly. “Did you know Randy had a bet with Kim on when this would happen?” He said killing the mood. You smacked your forehead in irritation. “Are you shitting me? That dick!”

#wwe #cody rhodes #bookshelf #jey uso #randy orton #cody rhodes x reader #brothers best friend

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epithalamia · 9 months

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oka y i swear today i'll put all of my pics on queue, for the time being, here´s a laptop pic i took 1 minute ago

#me

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heymeowmao · 10 months

Photo

2023.06.06 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324909692089401460

加油啊!

bgm: Chong Zi OST - Heaven Light (天光)

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning! Welcome!! Long time no see. I feel like I haven’t streamed in a long time, at least. And... why is the sound so loud? /adjusts/. It’s been a while since I streamed last and I saw that a few of you were going out of your minds. You resorted to taunting me to get me to get me to come. Can we spread a little more kindness in this world? Please? It’s only been a few days and you’ve already started to taunt me. It’s not necessary, alright? LYN: When I’m in a good condition, I will come to stream on my own when I think the time is right. I hope you don’t push me next time. When you start pushing, I start second-guessing myself and think that maybe I SHOULD be streaming. But if my condition isn’t great- for example if I did some recording that day or took care of some different business- then I won’t be able to stream the way I want. I’d be forcing myself to stream. It’s not necessary. Let’s leave it up to me, alright? If I’m in a good condition and I want to stream and chat and relax, I’ll come. But otherwise... let me rest!

LYN: The stream lagging a little is normal, because I’ve upgraded my equipment. If I upgrade my camera, I have to upgrade my computer, too. After that, you might think the sound card isn’t doing a good enough job- a lot of you always complain that the sound is too low. I don’t know why you can’t wear some headphones... but you always complain that the sound is low. After upgrades, the computer can’t keep up. See? It seems like I have to change my computer AGAIN. I’ve only had it for two years- it cost a lot- and now I have to buy a new one. Technology is too advanced for my computer to keep up. C: Sell it. LYN: I won’t be selling it. It’s just because that for this stream I’ve returned home to Beijing. i don’t have a desktop computer here, so I’m using the laptop. The signal on it is probably lacking, so it lags every once in a while. It’s enough for you to watch, though. Thanks, everyone (for your understanding). Our main focus is on “company”. Even if you are just photos (profile pics) we’re keeping each other company, alright?

bgm: LBFD/CLJ OST - Searching for You (寻一个你)

LYN: Why am I wearing this today? Because the NCEE is fast-approaching. In order to fit the theme, I’ve worn some clothes that make me look younger. Let me pretend to be young, to be a student. Is it alright? Our theme here is “young.” LYN: As long as you’re satisfied with this look, all’s well. LYN: The other thing is I haven’t lived in this Beijing house for a long time, since I am always away in Hengdian. I don’t really have any clothes to wear, here. I tried looking, I did, and I couldn’t find anything to wear. People always say that a woman’s closet is always lacking something. I get the feeling I’m lacking ten outfits- to use for streaming. I always feel like I don’t have anything to wear when I want to stream. Let me tell you- I do put thought into what I wear. You might think that I choose my streaming outfit at random, but I actually put a lot of effort into it.

C: Ning-ge, I thought you had 3,000 outfits. LYN: When I first debuted- in the first two years- I might have had 3,000 outfits but now, three years later, how many clothes do you think I have? Think about it. There’s a room in this house that looks like a storage room and it’s full of clothes. I can’t even wear some of them because I bought them so long ago that the color has gone off from age. C: Raffle them. LYN: We could... we could pick a concert stop- if I’m having a concert next year- and let’s say it’s a 10,000 person venue... Wait- I don’t have 10,000 pieces of clothing... Let’s do this instead. I’ll take 1,000 pieces of clothing for each stop and gift it to the audience. The concert benefit is being gifted clothes second-hand.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: How’s the album coming along? LYN: I really am working on album stuff right now. But if it were such an easy thing to do, it wouldn’t have taken me three years to release one. Think about the singers nowadays- there are as many as they come. It’s really difficult to continuously release albums, unless they are songwriters themselves. They could write their own works and put as much into that as they wanted; but even so, there are times when you have no inspiration. For me, as someone who does not have the ability to write songs... I just have to wait for something that works. Sometimes even when you find one, someone else gets to it first. It’s up to luck and timing. This time around I have taken my time to pick the songs and I’ve gotten some that I really like. LYN: Let me tell you about my plans. I want to release this album before the end of the year. I previously released a song called “Fall in Love”- you know it, right? My fans have probably heard it before, but there are many of you who are just passing by and have entered the wrong shop- or have been dragged in by someone handing out cards- let me play my song “Fall in Love” for you. -- Fall in Love LYN: I went crazy all of a sudden.

LYN: This was going to be the title song for my album... but it’s been two years since the track was released. Well- one and a half years. I sang it for the first time at the Jiangsu New Year’s Event... and then... about two years have passed and the album was never released. If I release it later in the year, it WILL be three years. So my plan for this year is to get my album out before December. It’ll be around 10 songs. This song (Fall in Love)- we can do without. I mean- not count it as part of the album. It’ll just be a single. LYN: As for my album, I’ll remake it. I had collected a few for the album from before, and have recorded two of them. But now... immodestly speaking, my singing has improved in the last two years. Listening to those songs now I think, “What the heck is this singing? WTF is this?? You think you can release an album like this, you must be crazy!” So the other day I re-recorded one of the songs. LYN: To singers “progress” is relative to a lot of different aspects. The first is the progression of age. The second is the advancement of music. The third probably has to do with the fact that I am acting now. After acting, I feel like I can better express emotions. I can let them show more or.. how should I say it? (Express them more subtly.) I have a deeper feeling/understanding of them now. LYN: Penny-jie gave me a song. Not counting Fall in Love, I should have... four now. But I should be able to confirm another one or two in the next couple of days. They’ve given me demos and I’ve given gone through them briefly and I think they’re very nice but I’ll have to get a better listen. I now have four complete songs and will get another three or four in the next days. I’ll have seven. Then I can just find three more and we can release the at the end of the year. :) My plan is to release the album before the end of the year- 10 songs- and then open up my concerts mid 2024. That’s just an estimate, because I have to film in the first half. Probably May or June. But before the concert I want to release an EP of about 5 songs.

C: Will you release an MV? LYN: I am working on an MV, yes. I’m planing on finding a few of my good friends- I can now make a PROPER MV. The MVs I shot before were all: I’m looking for something. I walk to the ocean and I search. I climb a ladder. I run. I look up at the sky and sit by my bedside, depressed. I’m emo. More conceptual. Now I don’t want to make MVs like that. I want something with a plot. So the songs I am finding now are all- /cuts himself off/. In any case, I’m going to find some of my good friends to help me shoot it. Of course, I will not be paying them. LYN: I already asked them- “If I release an album next year, will you help me shoot the mv?” They asked me if I would pay extra, and I replied that if they continued that thought I would block them. XD LYN: My MV would need a group of them- I'll find 10 artists to act in the MV for me. Something that requires 2,000 extras. We’ll do a “human wave attack” (人海战术; offensive infantry tactic in which an attacker conducts an unprotected frontal assault with densely concentrated infantry formations -wiki).

LYN: So, for those of you asking about how my album is going, I really am working on getting it released this year, I swear. I have time in Beijing now to work on it properly and wrap up with logistics and with the music. After all that is finished I will re-focus on my acting. We’ll see.

C: I want to be an extra. LYN: Er... for extras the fee is 200RMB, sent to me. 1200RMB to me and I will include two meals. I won’t pick you up, but will send you back- to the closest bus stop. C: Ning-ge, I’ll invest 300k for your MV. LYN: Are you really investing or has chasing starts made you silly? If investing, let’s say my mv makes any revenue- you’d like a cut of the profits? But if you want to shoot a nice MV, it requires quite a bit of money. I don’t think 300k will be enough. I’m thinking of shooting two to three. C: I’ll invest 1M. LYN: I will find a staff member to contact you immediately. You can’t run, I’ve remembered your ID. I’ll find a staff to contact you and we can exchange the deposit in private. For a 1M project, you only need to give me a deposit of 200k first. C: Ning-ge, I’ll invest my charms. LYN: So what you’re trying to say that you’re too good-looking, so you want to be a part of my video and... that will be favorable for me? We’d be taking advantage of you because you’re too pretty, too beautiful?

C: Ning-ge, how about I give you 10RMB. LYN: Has the progression of my career reached a point where I need to do crowdfunding? I can’t survive on my own anymore, and if I want to do something my fans have to drum up the money? It’s not necessary. I know I’m not doing very well but I’m not that pitiful. Also, I just want to say- let me think of how I can phrase this nicely, to filter it- LYN: ~ I think that music has always been a dream of mine. I can give everything I have to my music. You tell me you want to crowdfund in order to let me release my songs, but I think there’s no need for that. The music I release is for you to listen to, to enjoy, and to experience. If you feel anything when listening to my songs then that already is my greatest honor. That’s why, I don’t want you to give me any money. I will figure out the funding on my own. I appreciate your good intentions. You are all kind people. You all have dreams. You are good samaritans. ~ LYN: ~ I’m sure that everyone who has a dream in music who sees such a group of people who want to support their passion for music, will be moved. Thank you all. ~

- - - - - - - - - -

- /gives his support to students taking the NCEE/

C: Ning-ge, your voice is like this and you’re still streaming? LYN: ~ Honestly friends, I have to tell you, my voice is really uncomfortable today. Because for a long time I was in the South- in Hengdian- which is more humid. I’ve suddenly returned to Beijing and I haven’t quite adjusted. I have a really dry throat. I am withstanding searing pain to stream for everyone today. But I don’t want to make this a big deal. I don’t want to say that I am sick. I just want to say- that you are all very important to me. I’m willing to do this for you- ~ - /breaks character because he couldn’t stand himself/ LYN: Beijing is dry, alright? My throat is uncomfortable. I’ve been living in the South all this while- me, who originates from the North, has been living in the South. Hendgian is in Zhejiang, right? That’s south. It’s humid. So being back here now (in the North), my throat has been uncomfortable. It’s really dry. Especially Beijing, which is particularly dry. Liaoning, Dandong- where my house is- is okay, because there I am close the the river/ocean. The air isn’t as dry for a place in the Northeast. Beijing is really dry, though. I have to put on so many face masks every day. LYN: Wait for me a sec, I’ll go grab some water.

C: The chair looks nice. LYN: Are you making fun of me? This house in Beijing is rented so this furniture was all here when I got the house. I don’t have such high tastes. This is the landlord’s stuff, not mine. - C: Drink less soft drinks. LYN: This isn’t a soft drink, it’s just carbonated water. It’s carbonated, but there’s no sugar or anything in it. - C: It’s a princess chair. LYN: /laughs/ Yes, it is. There are six of them. They were around the dinner table but I grabbed one over to sit on while I stream. I’m not in Beijing very often, anyway.

C: What special effect is this today? LYN: You can tell that this video has special effects?? This is the “aurora” effect. Why am I using it, do you know? Well- you all know what an “aurora” is, right? A very mystical phenomenon. LYN: ~ I am using this aurora effect today because I believe that not many people in this world have seen an actual aurora. Or a real rainbow. But I hope that each one of you who are in my stream can see this wonderful aurora special effect. So you can feel like you are in a faraway place- somewhere you can see the lights. ~ - bgm: Young Captain队长 & ODD Chen Sijian - 超感 (Super Sense) - LYN: But remember to tell me where I can see a rainbow. I saw one the other day- with my eyes, it was very clear. But I tried to take a picture of it on my phone and I found out- you can’t really see it. C: Your skills aren’t good enough. / LYN: Oh. C: Change your phone. / LYN: Right, okay.

C: Have you done your physical yet? LYN: Not yet. I want to get everything arranged first and acclimate before I do it. Lately I’ve been preparing to start working out again. I want to give myself half a year’s time to start a regular eating schedule. I’ll mind what I eat- like not anything fried or sweet- and try to stick to an exercise schedule. I want to know, after this half year, what the results will be. LYN: I really have properly started working out now. I’m not kidding anymore. My abs... I’m at... 10%. If having full-on abs is 100%, then I have at least 20% now. That is- you can see something if you squint. Let me train for a bit first. If there are results by the end of the year I’ll post up a picture. I see a lot of male artists wearing suits, right? But they don’t wear a shirt- it’s just the suit jacket- and a low middle button. I see a lot of male artists like that and I’m super jealous. They have such nice physique that allows them to wear the clothes in that way, to show a little skin. Either that or it’s a dress shirt, but the buttons are undone until the last few. The name of the game there is “Temptation/Seduction”. I can’t do that, though. If I open it up I look like a boiled chicken. LYN: I just want to have a nicer physique. I won’t make any promises from now on. I won’t bring it up again. We’ll just.. wait and see.

LYN: I was worried that I would come onto the stream today and my face would look fat. Lately I’ve been eating less but if I want to work out I have to eat more- three meals is modest. I’ve been forcing myself to eat, so I feel like I’ve gained weight. I thought it would show on the camera but it’s alright. The beauty filters are strong, after all. LYN: I had a huge bowl of rice and vegetables just earlier. But those are all regular foods. It’s alright I didn’t gain weight. // I have a performance in a couple of days, I told you about it before- some college, right?

C: Ning-ge, your hair color is makes you seem young. LYN: I don’t like the words “seem young”. I used to sell clothes, so I know all the right words to say when you’re trying to make a sale. If you say I “seem young” then that means that you don’t see me as ACTUALLY young. You don’t see me as young at all, but the words “seem young” should be allocated to 45+ year old men and women. You can use “seem young” to describe them. Okay?? You’ve just admitted that in your mind I am already... an old man.

C: Feels “youthful”! LYN: Friends, you don’t need to make forced compliments. I have a very clear image of myself and “youthful” doesn’t fit it. I told you before, that I had a script come to me and they wanted to act as a high school student for a portion of it, didn’t I? There was a plot where the two people met in high school and went to college together but later separated to start working. The majority of the plot is focused on when they are adults, but I couldn’t get past them wanting me to act as a high school student for a portion of it. Because of this, I gave up on this drama. LYN: I can act as maybe a college student if you lay down the foundation extra thick to cover up the wrinkles. Maybe get some Thermage treatment in, and I could pass. But if you want me to act as a middle or high school student, I really can’t do it. I am 1.9m tall- when I’m not wearing shoes I’m 1.89m, but if I wear shoes I’m taller than 1.9m. It’d be okay if I were shorter but have you ever seen that tall of a high school student?? They’re already done growing! So me acting as a high school student would be a little unfitting.

C: Kids nowadays are all tall. LYN: /laughs/ You’re right, but I still can’t do it! They might be tall but they still have young faces. My face has obviously seen time. I just can’t do it. A kid can play someone older, but someone older can’t play a kid. My face already has time on it. If you wanted me to act as someone around 30 years old or so, that wouldn’t be a problem. But early 20′s is difficult for me!

C: Ning-ge, you’re very young. Ning-ge, you can do it. LYN: I realized there’s something about this industry... let me tell you how I feel about it. People who do well in this industry- I’ve been to events, I can see who’s doing well or not- you’ll discover something. That is, no matter what they do the people around them will endlessly praise them. Really. I’m talking about people who are doing well for themselves. Their staff, the staff you meet at events- let’s say we’re at some recording for a show or an event- any staff around will give them endless praise. For example, an artist goes, “Huh? What is this, a phone? I’ve never seen one like this before. It’s called an iPhone?” The staff around them have already reached a point where they reply, “You’re so smart! Amazing! /claps/. You’ve never seen this thing before, but you knew it was a phone. You’re so great. You have a natural talent for identifying phones.” I was at the side, watching like:

LYN: But most of the time the artist will gladly accept the praise. “Oh, I just have a knack for this. :) I have an interest in mobile phones- oh, I see this is an iPhone! I’ve never seen one before, but I already know. I’m just talented. I have an interest in electronics.” !! It’s like humoring a child! And these artists aren’t young. LYN: You know- once you reach a certain point you’ll find out that the words of the people around you are 99% praise. The people close to you, as well as the people you meet. After I saw that happening I thought, “Oh~ So (that’s how it is)...” They’re probably already used to it and it doesn’t affect them at all but to me... I don’t feel a thing. LYN: Just like when you tell me that I’m young and that I can play a middle schooler. I’ll listen to what you’re saying, but leave it at that. I might even have the passing thought that maybe you are trying to provoke me. After seeing all that, I have my own judgement on what people say to me in the future. I don’t believe that all you should hear is praise. There needs to be all sorts of comments in order to level you. Only then can you mature. Only then will you know where your limits are. LYN: That’s why when you praise and support me- of course, I like to hear it. But I don’t think there’s a need to take it seriously. There’s really no need. C: I was being honest. LYN: Even if you were, I still won��t take it seriously. I need to have self-awareness to maintain my balance.

- - - - - - - - - -

- /saw a passing comment and makes note to answer it later, but clarifies he couldn’t really see the whole thing because the comment was too long. If they are short comments, usually he sees all of them scrolling by./ LYN: I can’t answer all of them, so please be generous. Don’t think that just because I am not replying to you, you shouldn’t comment at all. Our theme here is “company”.

C: Are there kiss scenes in ZY? LYN: What’s it to you?!? You must be crazy. XD LYN: There are no kiss scenes in ZY, only bath scenes. Of course by that I mean- a normal bath. For example, I’ll go to bathe and my bros will scrub my back for me. Scenes like that. They'll perform some gua sha and ba guan for me. Because we’ll all get together to wash up after we go out to battle. We’re starting a “community bathing” culture. C: Such a big scale? LYN: We’re still wearing pants. If we want it to air, we’ll still be wearing pants. They’ll only show the top half. Just a bunch of guys helping to scrub each other’s backs.

C: Your ears are turning red. LYN: Why would they be??? What did I say today that would make my ears red?? You really think I’m only 18 years old?! Have you forgotten what I was trending for a while ago?? (Married) Oh-sorry. I’m... I’m not a young kid. Why I turn red from talking about washing up and scrubbing backs?? C: Now it IS red. LYN: Yeah, I misspoke earlier. My mind was running slow and my mouth too fast. I apologize. C: Drink some water to settle your mind.

C: When will YNGS air? LYN: I don’t know! :D Let me tell you friends, a lot of actors are also dumbfounded. I know you like to ask us actors when our dramas will air, but we’re in the dark and really don’t know. I’m guessing if you try to ask the production company, they wouldn’t either! Sometimes you’ll hear that a drama is airing tonight and then the next morning you find it didn’t. This is normal, so if you ask me when a drama is airing, I really don’t know. LYN: It’s been two years since I finished filming a couple of my dramas and even now I am getting notices to do voice acting or supplement for voice acting. It seems like everything is going according to plan and the OSTs are all recorded, but then... it’s just indefinitely about to air. So what time a drama airs is really hard to say. I can only tell you that I can’t tell you.

C: Do you have a variety? LYN: I do, we’ve been in talks. But I- I- Once I start in a drama crew I don’t have the time anymore. Varieties nowadays need two to three or up to seven to eight days to record. There’s no way the drama production is letting me off for that long. Especially since I am starting to accept male lead roles... So, it’s hard for me to go. The production doesn’t really give the time off. So the variety is hard to say, since I will be entering another crew soon. You all are afraid of me wasting my time at home, and desperately want me to enter a crew. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. You’ll see. When I pick projects, they’re usually dependable. If any news gets announced I’m sure you will be happy for me. I won’t be sitting around at home. C: Is it a modern or historical? LYN: Which one are you referring to? Are you talking about the one in the latter half of next year? That one... hasn’t come yet. Let me pretend. // This is called “I’ve been home too long and now I’m making fantasies”. I clearly don’t have work but I’m pretending I do. There are some people like that, and I am one of them.

LYN: If you don’t quite understand me, let me explain. I’m a workaholic, I really am. Just look at how I spent the past five years. I started off singing on the streets and slowly made myself internet famous. After that, I became a singer. Now I’m starting to be an actor. I’ve made it this far step by step. Do you think, if I took even one moment to rest in these past five years, I would have been able to make it to where I am today? Getting to work with all these comparative (to me) amazing people? I don’t want to say that I am putting a lot of effort into this; I just want you to know that I don’t want to let myself rest. I want to learn quickly how to make my way in this industry. LYN: The people I’m working with now are all amazing, right? I started off as a busker on the streets. In order for me to make it here, if I rested at all in the past five years do you think I would have been able to walk this far? I don’t have a company backing me. I only have this group of fans who have kept me company all this way. I don’t have a company (公司/gong si), only fans (粉丝/fen si). LYN: I’m the type of person who gets anxious if they don’t have work. My old fans all know this. But can you see me being anxious right now? If I didn’t have work, and I hadn’t decided my next drama or made plans for the future- I’d be having a breakdown. Do you think I’d be sitting here so calmly, discussing this with you? I’d be here complaining, not telling you jokes. LYN: So, you can tell by my mood. If I’m relaxed then I have plans in place. Lately I’ve taken a break because I really do want to work on my album. It’s not like an OST, where I can just take a song someone else has written if I like it and just record a song and release it. Albums are complicated. The process of collecting songs alone is difficult. Another thing about me is that I don’t want the songs on my album to be like songs I’ve sung for OSTs. I’ve accepted many OSTs that I really like a lot. But if there are songs on my album that are no different from the OSTs then I’ll think, “What’s the point of releasing this song? This is exactly like an OST I can sing.” Choosing the music is hard. I hear too many songs every year, so it’s hard to pick one I really like. I’m really working on the album. LYN: I’m also going to start the voice acting for YNGS. I’m going to plan to give them 10 days for recording. For example, I’d go in at 10a-1p, grab a bite, then start again at 4-5p until 7-8p. It’ll be like working a regular job, for about 10 days. I want to get the voice acting finished in the coming week. I also have some OSTs I need to record and events to attend. I won’t be idle. Don’t worry- you don’t need to be anxious for me. LYN: Oh- I don’t need fan support for voice acting. Just want to let you know. If I go to the recording studio and there’s a group of you with banners chanting our fan motto... it’s not necessary. I just need to do my job and that’s it. LYN: Maybe in a few days when I go to the hospital for my physical, you can come give me fan support then. /laughs/ You can stand by the entrance and shout, “LYN, good luck on your physical!” or something like that. C: Steal urine. LYN: ?? What does that mean? Are you a pervert?? You must be. I told you I was going in for my physical and you said you want to steal (my) urine?? /barfing sounds/ LYN: Unreasonable. Truly unreasonable. Oh my goodness. This is too perverse. C: Extreme sasaeng behavior. LYN: This isn’t even sasaeng behavior anymore. This is... /barfs/

C: Can you turn the lyrics off? LYN: What- what, are the lyrics blocking your sight to something? How about I make it smaller? This is fine, right? /sigh/ I’ll turn it off. Save you some face.

- - - - - - - - - -

-- break #1 (his friend is having a baby and he needs to take a look) LYN: Excuse me friends, I made you wait long. I’m back. Lao Wang had a son a while back, this time he had a daughter. It’s nice. C: Are they good-looking? LYN: Not better than me. /laughs/ Why does that feel low- I’m competing in looks with a child?? C: How many days apart are they? LYN: The last time they had a kid was... three months ago. Now they have another. It’s amazing.

C: You look young. You can go act as a middle schooler. LYN: Let me tell you, friends- lately I’ve been thinking I want to start “pan chuan” (counting prayer beads (?)). I just think it’s cool. I think it’s fun. Watching the string change over time is interesting. But then I was thinking, if I started to do this, wouldn’t it prove that I am crossing another...I can’t say “realm”, can I? I’m entering into the meditative mind and healthy body category. But my current category is as a “Disney-lover”! C: I’ve been doing this for many years already. LYN: Which means to say your age... is probably around mine, right? C: Elementary kids do this, too. LYN: Do they? I didn’t know. But I really bought a string online and later I’ll... play with them. // I met someone not too long ago, and they told me they had nothing fun to do. I suggested they count beads and they said that they didn’t want to because if they did that, they would enter into the “middle-aged” mindset. That’s how they described it, at least. I thought about it and... yeah, they were right. But if you’re telling me that even elementary kids are doing this now, then I think that this is the popular trend for now. Then, we’ll count! C: Don’t count them, “pan” me. LYN: Do you want to “chuan”?? // Wait- sorry. That sounds like a curse word. That is- Sorry. - /clears his throat and skips the topic/ ;; t/n: there’s some wordplay here, but idk LYN: I won’t. I seriously did research on this and these things need a high density. You’re probably not dense enough. Also there’s a process of going from white, to colored (oxidized), and then opened (?). I don’t really want to see you “colored”. I think I’ll forget it. You can “pan” yourself in the mirror. I won’t be participating.

C: Watch out for tendonitis. LYN: What do you mean- like when I’m moving them, this part of my hand is likely to get tendonitis? I’ll buy a machine to turn them. I saw that there are those things online. / Oh, was it “tenosynovitis”? Sorry, I read wrong. / But there are machines for this, so I was thinking of getting one. I won’t have to use my own hands. I won’t get tenosynovitis, it’s okay. // There’s another machine, where you can take each of the beads and there’s like a tube- you can put the bead inside and it will spin.

C: Nine-ge, don’t wash your face in the morning just take the beads and rub them on your face. LYN: Why are you so dirty? That would be so gross. We want the bead’s natural oils. Maybe this topic is not interesting to many females, but we want the bead’s natural oils, not your dirty face oils. That’s no good. Forget it, let’s not.

C: Tell Daimi to count them for you. LYN: Daimi? I’d be lucky if she didn’t take them for peanuts and eat them.

LYN: I thought you wouldn’t be interested, but it seems like a lot of you women- and men, there are bound to be men here too, right? - you all like to play with this. When my string arrives, will we be considered “pan”you? [t/n: play on the word “friends” (peng you)] Or “chuan-you”? I don’t know. We can discuss it. LYN: I didn’t know elementary school kids were interested in this, too. I honestly don’t know too much about it myself. There aren’t many grade schoolers in the group of friends around me to begin with. So I’m not sure what they’re into these days.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: Is your dog male or female? LYN: She’s a girl. I won’t own boy dogs. I used to own a boy dog, a long time ago. I took him out for a walk and all of a sudden he set his eyes on another dog and took off. He was a bigger breed- a sheepdog (Scotch Collie). He took the leash and started chasing a female dog. I ran across 8 hilltops- I was walking him up in the middle of nowhere- it was up in the mountains, and there were giant storehouses. He took the leash and ran and I chased him across three hilltops. I was this close to a breakdown, I almost threw up and I couldn’t catch him. I lost him and it scared me so much. Even /I/ got lost in the chase, because I wasn’t familiar with the area. I was chasing my dog, and my dog was chasing another dog. After all the running I lost the dog AND my way. I ran for about ten+ minutes. Do you know how helpless I felt, surrounded by unfamiliar terrain, lost dog and lost way? So ever since then I learned my lesson for having boy dogs. LYN: After that I only ever owned girl dogs. Youmi... Daimi... and there’s was also a cocker spaniel, whose name was also Youmi. I had two dogs named Youmi. The original had died, so I bought another one immediately so the love could be transferred. [t/n: if I recall, he didn’t want his grandparents to be too sad that Youmi (original) had passed away.] LYN: All female dogs.

C: Did you ever find him? LYN: Later, he came back on his own. It took ME a while to find the way back home- I really ran across three hills before I found the path and went home by myself. I went home and cried to my mom that I had lost the dog and that I almost got lost. But when it came around nighttime, he came back on his own. That dog was so smart. People could hold his leash as long as I was there, but if I wasn’t he would go crazy. He was so smart. But in the end that dog... you probably know how it went. He ran away. That’s why people tell you- you can’t trust men. If they so something wrong once, they’ll do it a second time. He ran away, and didn’t come back this time. C: It was a BE. LYN: That’s an appropriate description, yes. At the time I was really sad about it, I cried for a few days and didn’t own a dog for a long time after.

C: He went to become someone’s son-in-law. LYN: He was a really handsome dog, but unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of him. You know sheepdogs- they have long snouts and long hair. Usually they’re all cream and black, or brown, right? But he was black and white. If there were a litter- only one of them would be patterned like that. It was so pretty. LYN: ! He wasn’t a Border Collie, though. I know what you’re talking about- Borders are black and white. He was a Scotch Collie, but black and white. Wow, he was so handsome. // I know the difference between a Border and a Scotch. He was the only one of the litter with that coloring- he was very unique. Very special.

C: What breed was Youmi? LYN: The first was a cocker spaniel. The second was a toy poodle. The one now is a schnauzer. After raising the cocker first, I discovered it was better to own a dog that didn’t shed as much. Schnauzers don’t shed as much- only the undercoat- and nor do toy poodles. These dogs are easy to clean up after, they’re small and smart, and don’t need to be walked as much.

C: Why don’t you like big dogs? LYN: Wait- look, I just said that I liked dogs that don’t shed as much and someone in the chat said, “Ning-ge, I also don’t shed a lot. Raise me.” I’m guessing in not too long someone is going to pick up on this topic. LYN: Don’t you lose hair? I don’t believe there’s one person here who can say they don’t shed hair. We all do, more or less.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: Ning-ge, this special effect looks like “spitting pies”. LYN: ?? What is that? There are small orbs flying at you, so you think I’m “spitting pies”? I don’t always make “pies” (pipe-dreams). When have I made a pie for you? There aren’t many. The first is my abs- that’s going to be fulfilled this year, isn’t it? C: “Stream until we throw up.” LYN: It counts if I do, too. Someone earlier wanted to steal something of mine, didn’t they? I threw up, then. If I throw up it counts too.

LYN: I saw a comment in the group chat that read, “Ning-ge is streaming today. If someone pushes him to stop streaming, I curse them to eat instant noodles without the seasonings forever.”

C: Disney stream; Carnation Festival 3.5. LYN: I had explanations for those, didn’t I? I told you about the Disney stream the last time- it’s not convenient for me to stream at the park. It was going to be okay, but lately their business has been booming. It became inconvenient for me to stream at the park because we wanted to avoid any unnecessary crowding. C: Recipe for marinating meat skewers. LYN: I’ve been busy lately... watching dramas, going to concerts... XD I’ve been busy with that lately. As for the grilling recipe, I’ll see if there’s a time I want to go out and relax. Maybe when I’m done with voice acting for Ning Yuanzhou- I’ll film a video, then. LYN: I saw someone asking me where I’ve been- I’ve really been busy as of late. And this work isn’t on a set schedule.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: After going back to Beijing you look more lively. LYN: I’ve been in Hengdian for so long that I’ve felt stifled. I honestly really like Hengdian, but the problem is- it’s a town. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just very small. It’s mostly the food- I’ve had so much of it! All the restaurants and take-out... I’ve been there for three years. Think about exactly how many good restaurants there can be. I’ve already eaten my fill. Also, there’s no place I can shop around! Sometimes I like shopping and buying clothes- give myself some motivation to keep working hard. I’ll go shop and say, “Wow, these clothes are so expensive! These shoes are expensive! I should buy them. Then, I can continue to work hard so I can afford them.” That’s what I do when I shop. LYN: I like living in the city. I can eat whatever I want, whether that’s skewers, hot pot, stir fry, Shanghai cuisine, Hangzhou cuisine, etc. I have choices. But the problem is that in Hengdian, there are only so many shops. You don’t really have a choice. All I did there was eat. I felt like I had enough. But after coming back to Beijing- there’s nothing really fun to do here, either, but- at least I can shop. As for “play” I like... arcades. Last time I was in Beijing I played with VR or escape rooms- those are fun.

C: ZXD-laoshi is here. LYN: Welcome.

- /talks a little more about what he’d like to do in Beijing while he can experience the freedom of having choices: to eat/shop/play./ LYN: I’ve just been in Hengdian too long. Now that I’m back here I’m letting myself go, a little. I like the feeling of living in a big city. I like the bustle. I’ve asked my friends before, where they like to go for travel.One of them told me they go on hikes- to see the mountains and watch the rivers; how on the way there’s a part of the river that’s really beautiful. After hearing that, I didn’t have any reaction/feeling for it. They in turn asked me where I like to go for fun. I told them I like to go to Shanghai, Beijing, Hangzhou. They replied, “You’re not going there to work, are you?” LYN: I’m just the type of person who has to come to a bustling/busy place to relax. Why? Because my hometown is a tourist city I’ve grown up along the river bank. Behind my house is a mountain. I would ride my bike along the river to work everyday. Do you think I’m missing any opportunity to see the mountains and rivers? My home is a tourist city and I’ve grown up seeing the mountains and rivers. Now I’ve finally entered society and am doing well for myself, do you really think I want to return to see the mountains and rivers in my downtime? I’ve never seen such a flourishing city when I was little. I like the hustle and bustle of the city. I don’t want to go back to see mountains and rivers- I’ve seen enough. LYN: It’s been thirty years and I finally made it to a big city. Now you want me to go back? You’ll find that a lot of people- once they become wealthy, they want to “return to the natural state”. They’ve had enough of the luxurious meals, and now they want to go back to the simple things. But friends, I’ve had the simple things all along. I can finally eat meat, have the chance to have abalone, and you want me to go back? It doesn’t agree with my plans.

C: You’re trending. LYN: Really? :) I don’t believe. I don’t deserve it. LYN: LYN, trending? I don’t think he’s worthy. C: The Entertainment Tab. LYN: What’s wrong with that? C: #41. -- 我不配 (I’m Not Worthy) LYN: A sang a whole verse of this song just for those three words. (I’m not worthy.)

LYN: I’m trending, though? ~ Honestly, I think that being trending or not isn’t important. I think the most important thing is that if by being here streaming, I am able to bring to you some happiness. As a singer or an actor, the most important thing is to have good works for you. A trending topic is not something an artist- whether singer or actor- should be in pursuit of. You need to have truly good works, works you’ve put your heart into, works that can touch other people’s hearts- to give to everyone who supports you. That is what you, as an artist, should be pursuing. So this trending topic... is nice to have, but it’s not a big deal if I don’t. Friends, let’s let our work do the talking. ~ LYN: Who doesn’t know how to say nice things? Those are the basics, aren’t they?

bgm: Ice Paper - 夜泊秦淮 (Ye Po Qin Huai)

C: I learned. Thank you, laoshi. LYN: Are you an artist? If you aren’t then there’s no use in you learning this. Do you want to be celebrity??

- - - - - - - - - -

C: You have too many buttons. LYN: ... Okay. I’ll listen to you. Next time I’ll buy a shirt with a zipper. This shirt if full of buttons. If you think they’re too much, then from now on I’ll buy shirts with zippers. I think they exist- I’ve worn one before. LYN: Don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking. We are just a normal stream. I am a singer/actor. This can ONLY be a normal stream. Or are you telling me that you want to see something immoral in my VERY MORAL stream?? I see right through you. I’ve already turned of the gifting option, so there’s no paid content here. I don’t try to sell you products, either. There’s no way you’re seeing any paid content. C: No~ That’s not what we were intending. We’re just afraid that you’re hot. LYN: I have an air conditioner. It can make the room 1° in a second. I’ll turn it on blast. I don’t need you to worry. I’m not hot. Later I’m going to put on a down jacket.

C: You’re so hot that your face is protruding oil. LYN: This has nothing to do with the heat. I just have naturally oily skin. I even looked it up online: Is it bad to have oily skin? I went to look up the pros and cons. The con is that I am more likely to produce oils and accumulate sebum on my face. Now I have to advise you to use this very good selfie stick- lol. No, I’m not going to push any products on you. It’s just that if you produce too many facial oils, your pores are more likely to become blocked and get acne. But the pro is that you don’t appear to age as quickly. That’s just what I need. I only just started taking male lead roles in the past two years. I really hope I can film a few more. LYN: There were some people trying to advise me, “LYN, can you stop playing male lead roles? We can accept you playing second male lead, but not main.” I can’t make that promise. Because... I have oily skin. I want to make the most of it and shoot a few more male lead dramas while I can. Is that okay? Please, I’m begging you. Stop trying to talk me out of it. I can’t promise you on this, but maybe on other things. Like that person earlier who said that I had too many buttons- I promised them that next time I would wear a shirt with a zipper. But on not playing the male lead, I can’t promise. I’m sorry. I’m the type of person who can understand and consider everyone’s feelings, but your feelings are... not feelings but gutsy demands. [t/n: this is a play on words.] I can’t promise you.

LYN: I really did see a comment like that, though. “LYN, can you stop playing male leads? I can accept second male lead but not main. I can’t stand it. I’m throwing up.” /laughs/ When I see comments like that, friends, it makes me happy. Do you know why? This is the mindset and logic you should have in order to keep living. LYN: At the very beginning when I wanted to be a singer, people were telling me, “You’re just internet famous, what makes you think you can be a singer? What do you think you’re doing on stage competing with other singers? You’re just internet famous- go back to your streaming room.” After a few years, I’ve finally made it as a singer- something people acknowledge me as, and now I’ve gone into acting. People said, “Why are you acting? You’re just a singer- just do your jobs and sing your songs. You don’t know your limits. What are you doing trying to be an actor? Other people have studied for so many years at a performing arts school and can’t find a role. What are you, a singer, doing acting? That’s ridiculous. Just because you have some fans doesn’t mean you can be an actor.” Some time passes again. “Why are you acting as the male lead? Just stay the second male lead!” LYN: You know? Unreasonably, they are- step by step- continuing to acknowledge me. So the fact that they have already accepted me as an actor makes me very happy. LYN: No matter what industry you’re working in, you have to have a good mindset. You have to consider things from all sorts of points of view. You can’t make trouble. If you live thinking, “Why are they saying this about me? I only want to be a singer... /cries/” It won’t help you. No one will pity you. Friends, you have to learn this in your lives as well. Don’t complain. You can, but not all the time. There’s no use. Complaining all the time will only degrade you. You have to think about making a place for yourself. You have to use your brain. Make your words powerful. Move forward. Alright? - C: /tries to make a joke on the word “complain” (bào yuàn)/ LYN: You don’t perhaps think that you’re very funny, do you? I hope not.

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C: We’re listening to music now. LYN: Yeah. I’m your music DJ, Modern Brothers Xiao Ning.

C: How long will you stream until? LYN: I don’t know. I’ll just keep streaming and stop when I’m tired. I’ll continue to stream for now. My stream doesn’t really have specific content or fixed rules that state I have to promote something. But, I do want to recommend something to you... hold on. LYN: ! Attention, attention! We have some good news! Tomorrow, Modern Brothers Liu Yuning’s song “The Remaining Life (余生)” will be online. This song is the ending theme from the drama “Gone with the Rain” (微雨燕双飞). The broadcasting station- everyone listen up- is Youku! This song will be online tomorrow- I hope that when it’s up you all can take a listen. Thank you! ! LYN: That wasn’t too much, was it? But it’s true that I sang the OST and they paid me for it... My main thing is price:product ratio. We deal in after-sales services, here. Tomorrow the very good drama Gone with the Rain will be airing- please watch it. Back from the Brink is also still airing. If you haven’t checked that out yet, please do.

C: Promote all of your OSTs that way in the future. LYN: I’ve always promoted them this way. You must be new here. If you want to be able to get along with people in this industry, you have to know where you can fit into the ecosystem. For me, I am good with after-sales services. All of you are consumers. You might be looking for me to sing an OST, a platform, or brand. All of them are consumers. To a consumer, what is the most important aspect of a product? The first is good quality. The second is having something you can really make use of. The last is everything that comes after- the maintenance and upkeep. The after-sales services. As long as the after-sales is done right, and customer service is done right, you will always have good business. Remember that. C: Ning-ge, you’re a 4S shop now? LYN: I’m an OST shop. Mine is different from a $s shop- as long as you maintain upkeep everything is fine. But OSTs are a single-use thing. They don’t need upkeep. The OST doesn’t come back to me to change its engine oil or brakes. I don’t need to so anything after. It’s a single-use product that you can have for a lifetime. In terms of quality, it’s a treasure. I will definitely sing it to the best of my ability- as long as I can, I will but 110% into singing it. Secondly it’s single use, but it’s not as if you can keep listening to the song and then later think that it’s no good. I want to deliver a good price:product ratio, and you never have to worry about after-sales services here. LYN: My after-sales does not only include promotion of the song and drama during my streams, but also when I attend galas. That is, it’s entirely possible that this song will come up again during my performances. It will be repeatedly broadcast to everyone. This way, we can keep reminding people of the drama. Give them something to remember the drama by. That’s my price:product ratio.

C: How much is it to advertise? LYN: It’s free for the consumer. All after-sales is on my own dime. There’s not much expense that goes into it, I just spend a little more time talking. Honestly, it’s just money for toothpaste and toothbrush. XD Other than that, there are no other expenses. I don’t collect more fees.

C: What are your rates? LYN: I get paid for OSTs like this, friends. It’s calculated by- what’s it to you?? You’re inquiring about my worth, now? How amusing. LYN: I hate these types of people! The ones who don’t buy anything, but ask about the price first! How annoying! // If you’re not going to buy anything, don’t ask! If you’re going to buy something then just buy it. If you’re not, then why are you asking?? LYN: XD I don’t know why, suddenly I went crazy. But anyway, don’t ask- that’s a business secret, I can’t just tell you. But as to whether it’s expensive or not... I can only tell you, it’s not cheap. :)

C: A business secret? LYN: It’s not a secret. It’s just that my group and I have been working for such a long time together, plus the fact that I’m my own boss. For a lot of things, I don’t need to follow a set business practice. I’m not doing things to further my company- like accepting jobs in order to pay my employees. I haven’t reached that point because I don’t have many employees to begin with. It’s mostly just me- and I can do a lot of things at once. Like promotions- I can do 30% of the work on my own. That means I can afford to hire one person less, right? This applies to other parts of the business as well. We don’t need to accept any jobs I don’t want to in order to further development. LYN: When I get OSTs, it goes through this process: 1. What drama is it for?, 2. What platform is it airing on?, 3. I’ll listen to the demo. Of course, the song is always the most important but I have to understand the project first. If I like the song, I’ll accept. If I don’t like it, it doesn’t matter how much they offer. It has nothing to do with the money- if I don’t like it, I just won’t accept the job. The first step is never to ask about the price. I’ve encountered companies that started off like that, but I felt that approach is very... I don’t want to comment. For the most part, people usually do not ask about the price from the start. Usually it’s introducing the project and sending a song demo. If you like it, we’ll negotiate the price. If I don’t want to accept the job in the first place, there’s no point in asking how much they can offer me.

C: They’re afraid they can’t afford you. LYN: The investment in making a drama is very huge. At the least it’s tens of millions and at the most it’s a couple billion. They’re not lacking the funds. It’s not as if a single song will break the bank.

C: Then, do you have a discount for OSTs on 6/18? LYN: Do you need a discount for my OSTs? Oh my goodness... Okay, let’s do this. There might be some video production bosses in my stream now. I have a discount on OSTs on 6/18. If you buy 300RMB’s worth, you’ll get 20RMB off. Alright? If you want OSTs, please place your orders on 6/18. C: The second song half off. LYN: No, that’s not worth it. Each song is its own price. C: Buy 300RMB for 20% off. Can the discounts stack? LYN: So you mean, if a song were 600RMB instead of 300RMB? If it’s 300, you get 20 off, so if a song were 600, you’d get 40RMB off? Is that what you mean? You can do that. It stacks.

C: Ning-ge, don’t say any more. If you keep on, you’ll be at a loss. LYN: This friend is considering it from my point of view. That if I let the discount stack, then I would lose out. They’re looking out for me and letting me know I would lose profit, right? LYN: ~ Actually when I hear you say that, I’m touched. I think this friend is a really honest person. In such a chaotic world, you really need to cherish when you meet such a person. Even if I make good on my word and let you take 20RMB off of 300RMB on my OSTs, have you ever encountered such a sale in the real world... but the caveat is that they raised the original price? Then, in fact, though they are selling very many- it’s at even more expensive prices than usual, disguised as a sale. Of course, I wouldn’t do that to you. ~

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-- break #2 (no excuse, he just needs to use the restroom) LYN: You’re still commenting on this “spitting pies” effect, so I’ll change it for you. I have a “ghost story” effect, do you want to see it? :) LYN: But there are a lot of women in my stream, I’m afraid that they will be scared. If I put on this effect they might get so frightened they will cry. It needs to be paired with music so that you can feel the chill. Let’s play this. It’s not very frightening, don’t be scared. LYN: It’s not as scary as you think! If it’s too scary my weibo will be in violation. I’m an old streamer already, I understand this much better than you do. It can’t be too scary- no blood or jump-scares here. The “scary” I’m talking about is not the “scary” that you are thinking of. I was just exaggerating. You need only believe 20% of what I say. LYN: Alright. Three, two, one- - /error/ LYN: It’s not supported? Why is it telling me that?? Huh? What’s happening? LYN: Oh, well. It’s not supported. This is a flop. // ?? But I tested it out today and it was working?? /clicking around/ Oh, it’s this one. It’s not scary, though.

LYN: It wasn’t scary. C: What was that? Failing eyesight? // That was it? LYN: Friends, if you’re going to be like that then I’ll do a super scary one! I’ll make you cry in fright!! Friends, I’ll show you what is truly “terrifying”! Let’s do it, I’ll play a quieter song, otherwise the mood will be wrong. Friends. Three, two- I’ll let you see the scariest thing in the world! THree, two, one! - /error/ LYN: ?! “The special effect is unsupported.” /feeling stifled/ Okay, I found one equally as scary. Let’s try again. Three, two, one!

LYN: Sorry, it flopped. The stream doesn’t support the effect. Because this is on a horizontal screen. Next time if I’m streaming vertically, I’ll show you the terror. LYN: There are a lot of different ones I can use, though. /shows them off/

LYN: /laughs/ What IS THIS??? This one really IS terrifying. Oh my goodness...

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- /someone tells him he's trending, still. but only in the entertainment tab. he thanks everyone for the trending topic anyway./ LYN: I was wondering what you were talking about- I almost threw my phone. [t/n: bc they told him he was trending, but he couldn’t find it on the main page. XD]

LYN: I feel like my face is very bright. Maybe this is TOO MUCH oil. Let me find some blotting paper. This is too much. I know we were talking about oily skin types earlier but this is too much- I look greasy. LYN: Is it better now? Not as greasy? C: Ning-ge, that’s called dewy skin. LYN: No, it’s just grease. That’s how you can tell a household is wealthy. I remember a story I was told when I was little. There was someone very poor, who wanted to pass themselves off as wealthy. They would take a piece of pork lard and rub it on their face before they went out. When they went out, they could say that they had just eaten. It would make it seem as if the household was wealthy enough to eat meat. I am like that, too.

C: You haven’t changed the special effect. LYN: It’s alright. This one is plenty scary enough.

C: Ning-ge, you’ve played this song so much I know how to sing it. LYN: Come here and sing it, then. Sing. Come on, sing! I thought you knew how?? I gave you the mic, but you can’t sing it, huh. C: Connect the mic. LYN: Er... /shaky sigh/ Connecting the mic... uh... The thing is weibo streaming is not as complete on desktop. If I were streaming from my phone, we could connect- it has that capability- but the desktop doesn’t. If one day I stream from my phone, I’ll spend that whole day connecting the mic with you all. We’ll chat. We can give it a try.

C: Is that a pie, too? LYN: It’s not a pie! It’s just because when I was connecting with people before, they didn’t want to. I didn’t see the harm in it, I just wanted to get some interaction, to play. I wanted to be different from others. We can chat and communicate, because I see people connecting mics often. It’s an effect of streaming and a mood maker. There’s no reason why we can’t. But the prerequisite is that I have to connect with a “normal” person. Otherwise, it’s quite fun. Even if you aren’t my fan, you can come chat with me. It’ll make the stream more meaningful. If I happen to accidentally connect with an anti, like the type who want to curse me out- no, not those- like the kind who wants to back-talk me. I really hope I can meet someone like that. We can chat. I want to see if I can win over them, and make them my fan. LYN: I’m someone who’s really good at arguing. /laughs/ Back when I was working in the restaurant if colleagues were fighting or talking about some logic, I was amazing. It was like a debate- I could lay out all the logic for them. But it’s been many years since I last dared to fight with someone. I want to test if I am still able to. Of course, not the type of fighting by cursing, but teaching you a lesson within the realm of reason.

C: Have your skills regressed? LYN: I think they have. Because at this point a lot of things don’t matter anymore- it doesn’t matter if I win or lose. Not to say that it’s not important... it’s very unimportant. If it doesn’t concern me directly, I don’t see the need to make it a focus for my attention. There’s no meaning in that. Sometimes I might mention a topic in passing during my stream- and that’s only because they became a topic of conversation. Otherwise what else would I talk to you about? You can say that I look young. I say thank you. Then what else? LYN: I’ll talk about a lot of things during my streams, but not because I care about them- though there ARE the ones I DO care about... It’s just because they become a topic for conversation. I can turn them into jokes and tell you about them during my stream. You find it interesting, and we can have a common ground.

C: Ge, you’re trending. LYN: Someone already told me. Entertainment, #31. It’s alright. Let’s be low-key. You don’t need to promote it. Being #31 on the Entertainment Tab means that people can get jealous. (sarcasm)

LYN: Let me go grab something to drink. I left earlier and saw someone say, “I can see the princess chair again!” LYN: I’m back. I told you before, this is part of a set of chairs at the dinner table and I grabbed this one to sit on. This is a rented house, so this is all the original furniture.

LYN: Drinking coffee at this time of night is okay, right? C: You’re not going to be able to sleep. LYN: No, it’s because when you talk too much there’s too much information and it jumbles my thinking. Drinking coffee will help me focus. You’ll notice that many people do their work in a coffee shop. Did you think that they had no place else to work? There is that possibility, of course. But it’s more because the coffee can help them focus. I have to stream, so I need to focus. C: It doesn’t look like coffee though? LYN: What does it look like then, herbal medicine? I don’t have enough energy to stream, so I need to drink herbal medicine to supplement my stamina? Shan yao, dang gui, and goji?

C: Ning-ge, are your glasses magnifying? LYN: /sigh/ Do you mean to say that my eyes are so small that I’ve purposely replaced the lenses with something that will magnify and make my eyes look bigger, as a sort of physical beauty filter? To make my eyes look bigger? Is that what you mean? I can make my eyes big- they’re not always small. /opens his eyes wider/ Are they small? No. LYN: I’ve worn these glasses today to go with the rest of my outfit. It’s not because I’ve replaced them with magnifying lenses to make my eyes look bigger. That’s hurtful. You’ve hurt me. :( LYN: See, who ISN’T cyber-bullied? I was just streaming, doing nothing- not trying to sell you anything or take your money- and I’ve still been cyber-bullied. They made fun of me and said my eyes are small. Friends, cyber-bullying is a real and scary thing. I’m not kidding. LYN: ! You’re laughing?? It makes me want to sing a song... “You’ve hurt me and played it off with a laugh.” I told you it hurt me, and you’re laughing?? -- 一笑而过 (Laugh it Off) [Na Ying] C: Sing it. LYN: I want to sing something different. I want to sing something more tender. Something that can promote love. Promote positive feelings. Let’s do it.

C: Ning-ge, what is the correct way to address cyber-bullying? LYN: For this, you should go baidu it. I can’t give you a proper answer. Everyone faces it differently. I don’t have the correct answer, but I still think you need to become stronger. If you become stronger, you won’t consider it as bullying. Let’s say you’re learning martial arts and are at the top of the game and someone punches you- you’ll think nothing of it. But if you are someone who does not work out at all and someone punches you- you’re going to get knocked out. But these punches carry the same amount of force. I can’t give you a correct answer, because this depends from person to person. The only thing I can tell you is to make your heart/mind stronger. For all else, abide by the law.

-- 這世界那麼多人 (Empty World) [Karen Mok] C: So gentle you don’t seem like yourself. LYN: Do you know why I was so gentle? Because this song is in the female key. So I could only sing it an octave lower. I can’t not be gentle. If I weren’t then I wouldn’t be able to sing the song. LYN: “So gentle you don’t seem like yourself”... so does that mean that usually in your eyes I am very... callous? No, right? I still LOOK upstanding though, right?

LYN: I used to listen to very loud or noisy songs. But lately I feel I enjoy listening to slow songs more. I imagine I have a glass of red wine, just sitting there listening to slow songs. I can’t say I’m emo, but I am in a very comfortable state. That’s a different way to relax. C: That means you’ve gotten older. LYN: /laughs/ I like listening to slow and gentle songs and that means I’m getting older?? What are you talking about? The songs I’m talking about are MBY’s. Not only have you offended me, you’ve offended everyone who listen to his songs. Let me sing one of his. I didn’t go to his concert for nothing; I came back having learned a song. LYN: What does “No lyrics yet” mean??? MBY, as a singer, is popular enough (to have lyrics) isn’t he? What else do you want?? How can you tell me you don’t have the lyrics? // It’s because I’ve selected the arrangement and since that’s the case the program can’t find the lyrics. LYN: tsk. /sigh/ Fine, I'll find the lyrics on my phone. C: Ning-ge, didn’t you say you learned it? LYN: That doesn’t mean I have to REMEMBER THE LYRICS, though?? What I meant by “learned” is that I learned the melody. I learned the melody, not how to recite the song. LYN: The lyrics: “Every morning I wake up naturally at 7:30a. The wind chimes are ringing and the clouds are light.” He wrote his own lyrics, too. How well written! -- 平凡的一天 (Ordinary Day) [Mao Buyi] LYN: It’s not because I’m getting old. Just sometimes I think that a nice and quiet song is good to listen to. Of course, I still like those noisy and loud songs. They just give a different feeling.

C: Sing one of Xue Zhiqian’s. LYN: Do I have to sing a song from all the popular male artists now? XZQ... I really don’t know his newer songs... /ning-ge.jpg/ Also all of his songs are very difficult to sing. I’m afraid to insult his works. Let me search. I’ll sing something for fun. Everything I sing during my streams are for fun. -- 我好像在哪見過你 (I Seem to Have Seen You Somewhere) [Xue Zhiqian] LYN: /shakes his head, no/ I don’t know this one. I’ve heard it before, though. It’s been such a long time since I last sang one of his songs. I used to all the time. I really like him. But it’s been a long time... Let me find an old song that I still remember. -- 方圆几�� (Within a Few Miles) LYN: I think I can do this one. C: 刚刚好 (Just Right) LYN: Let me listen. I used to be able to sing this, but I’ve forgotten now... // I know this one. I’ll sing it. -- 刚刚好 (Just Right) (Take 1) - /sings the first couple of lines/ LYN: Oh, this song! I was bragging to you earlier that I had improved, but I actually forgot a song I used to know before! Excuse me. I’ve sung this before, on a show. Let’s try that again. -- 刚刚好 (Just Right) (Take 2) LYN: It’s been such a long time since I sang this song. I suddenly remembered that I’ve sung it before. So... oh. But it’s already been 5 years since then. Thank you, XZQ-laoshi.

C: I’m dizzy now because of your swaying. LYN: If you’re going to say that, then I have no choice but to turn your words back on you. You’re getting old. What if one day we meet up at an amusement park. If you’re already dizzy after this bit of swaying, then you won’t be able to enjoy any rides with me. Your ticket will go to waste.

LYN: Now let’s find one of Zhou Shen-laoshi’s songs. I said in a stream before, that I would never sing one of ZS or Wu Qingfeng’s songs again. Their songs, to me, have it out for my life. I really can’t sing them. We don’t sing the same type of songs. I really can’t do it. But today, I want to give it a try. Friends, wait for me. I’ll go to the restroom and come back and then find a song to fight for my life with. I’ll find a very high song and lower it an octave to sing. - /singing Big Fish, but kinda scarily XD/ LYN: He’s singing about big fish in the ocean, but we’re talking about fish in the deep sea. He’s on top of the water, but I’m on the ocean floor. Where there are lantern fish. Deep pressure.

LYN: Let me play a video for you. I think I’m running out. I don’t have any new ones to play for you. Later I’ll download some more. Make do for now. Wait for me. -- break #3

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LYN: Alright, I’m back. C: Sing one of WQF’s. LYN: Later I’ll pick one to try. Of course, I did see the comment telling me to sing my own songs. I’ll sing them, but I’m sure that my fans always hear my songs and are used to them. The other thing is, I just sing for fun in my streams. I’m not here to show off myself. I’m not here trying to gain OST work by showing you what I’ve got. My stream is here for company. I want to sing, play, and chat with you. That’s all there is to it. You don’t need to make it too complicated. No matter whose songs I sing, it’s a show of respect, right? It proves that I listen to and like their songs. Right? I’m paying my respects. The original will always be yyds, of course. So.. this is just for entertainment. LYN: Keep me company. It’s a... Tuesday night. We can play and have some fun. Let me find one of ZS’s songs... I’ll see if it has a track. -- 光亮 (Silver Lining) LYN: /misses the timing to start/ Is it really in such a high key?? This is too high, isn’t it? I was listening to the beginning chords and going over the key in my head. It’s already... up high. // Let me try lowering it an octave. LYN: ... LYN: How about this- for the places I CAN sing in the normal key, I will. Once it gets too high I’ll switch to a lower octave. This is one method... Let’s try. -- 光亮 (Silver Lining)

C: WQF-laoshi. LYN: I’m honestly a little afraid.

C: Then, Zhang Jie-laoshi’s. LYN: All of his songs pretty such send me to the grave. His high notes are really so high. High notes are not my main thing. My main thing is the /starts singing the more rock-genre ‘爷们要战斗 (Men Fight)’/ Me and high notes go in opposite directions. LYN: 最美的太阳 (Most Beautiful Sun). Let me try it. // There’s no track for it. In this case... his copyrights are tight. C: 天下 (The World) LYN: Didn’t I sing that last time and my voice cracked? I can’t do it all. Remember, it went to my head? Someone had requested it the last time and, not knowing my limits, I tried. It got me worked up. I’ll try it. I’ll sing you a part of it. When it gets too much, I’ll stop. -- 天下 (The World) /stops right before the chorus/ C: Keep going! LYN: Uh.. it seems like you’re cheering me on. I just felt a sliver of support, then. LYN: Friends, there’s a saying that goes “见好就收” (quit while you’re ahead). People can’t be too greedy. If you continue... C: Lower it an octave. LYN: /laughs/ - /picks it up at the chorus; he did it!/ LYN: It goes straight to my head. I got worked up again. C: It’s okay. You can do it. LYN: Honestly, I CAN sing this song now. I just didn’t do it well, because I wanted to show you a comedy. Someone just cheered me on, again. Let me see if I can push through and get this song finished. - /finishes it up/ LYN: I did my best.

LYN: Men- we always try to look tough. But we all know who’s really suffering, don’t we?

C: Sing it through from the start. LYN: I really can’t stand when people cheer me on. If you’re going to be like that, then I’m going to stop streaming. I’m going to sleep. Stop provoking me.

C: Can you see the comments clearly? LYN: I can. Do you think I’ve sung so much that I’m lacking oxygen and can’t see clearly? No, I’m fine.

C: Ning-ge, 左手指月 (Upwards to The Moon). LYN: HAHAHAHAHA. Upwards to the Moon? Um.. .why don’t I just take my head off and give it to you? You’re asking for my life here, aren’t you? I’ll just give it to you. Is that not enough?? My head is yours. Upwards to the Moon... C: Ning-ge, let’s do an octave lower. LYN: You saw right through me. -- 左手指月 (Upwards to The Moon) LYN: Friends, here’s an interesting thing. I can’t even sing it with it lowered an octave. I can’t even sing it on a lower octave. Think about the concept of that. Let me try again. If nothing else, I’ll go all out. - /tries again/ LYN: This song hurts. Singing this song makes me feel like I hurt a lot. It’s not a physical pain, but a mental pain. Ahhh~~! Just these few words- you feel an inexplicable pain. LYN: Very painful. Excruciating pain. LYN: Alright, it;s not worth it. Let’s forget it. C: Bro, forget it. LYN: Are you calling me out?! LYN: I really don’t need to do this to myself. It’s enough already.

C: Ning-ge, you still have to record for your album tomorrow. LYN: Tomorrow... I’m not recording for my album. I have other work, tomorrow.

C: A Mayday song. LYN: Let me see if there’s a track. -- 夜訪吸血鬼 (Interview with the Vampire) LYN: This accompaniment is too noisy. :| But I really like this song. - /thinks of a different song/ -- 你不是真正的快樂 (You Are Not Truly Happy) LYN: I don’t really know it. So... I’ll stop singing it. C: Watching you sing this makes me really happy. LYN: I am very happy, but You Are Not Truly Happy.

LYN: I see you spamming “十年人间” (Shi Nian Ren Jian/DMBJ), but I really don’t know how to sing that song. I’ve heard it, but I don’t know how to sing it. Maybe if there’s a chance the next time I’ll sing it, then.

C: 黑夜一束光 (Praying) LYN: I won’t sing it now because I’ll have a performance in a few days that I’ll be singing it at. In order to leave you with some sense of “freshness”, I’ll save it for my performance. LYN: I’ve gone through all my songs and none of them really have that bright/positive feeling. I’ve mostly sung OSTs, so the majority are emotional songs. Those songs aren’t suitable to sing for particular occasions. I wouldn’t sing “你說愛情啊 (You Say Love)” at a school. Would I be encouraging them to start dating?? That’s not very uplifting. I’ll go to a school and sing 余生只想握紧你的手 (I Want to Hold Your Hand for the Rest of My Life)?? LYN: 意气趁年少 (Be Earnest While You’re Young) will work. It’s more positive, because it centers around learning. There’s a youthful feel, too. -- 意气趁年少 (Be Earnest While You’re Young)

C: Sing 初升 (Rising). LYN: I really haven’t sung this one before. Let me see if there’s a track. // There isn’t. /searches again/ There is. I’ve never sung it live before. Let me give it a try. If I crack then it does not represent my real ability- because this is my own song. -- 初升 (Rising) [Gen Z OST] C: You’ve crushed the original singer. LYN: Em, that’s overpraise. I AM the original singer. This is the theme song for the drama Gen Z. It’s a character song, and my first time singing it live.

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C: 云字诀 (Yun Zi Jue). LYN: I might not be able to sing it in my current condition. /searches for the track/ I can sing you MXT’s version? Oh, it’s the same version. Then, I’ll sing it. -- 云字诀 (Yun Zi Jue) [The Ingenious One OST] - /messes it up. starts over with the excuse he didn’t turn on the special sound effects/ LYN: Later I need to find someone to get these pictures on Kugou Music changed. What IS THIS??

LYN: I’ve already done Thermage treatment and don’t look like this anymore. ^

LYN: Change this picture out. What the heck. Look at these beady and small eyes and eyeliner. I can’t stand it. ^

LYN: This one’s okay. It looks like this fellow is emo. He’s a little depressed. Look at his eyes, full of gloom. His face is chubby, too. ^

LYN: Look at this. This is worse. Look at how big this face is. Oh, my goodness. He looks so bloated. Is your name “Liu Fu Zhong”?? Look at this face. ^

LYN: This one is okay. This one is good. He’s got a good jawline. This one doesn’t look as bad. It’s good. ^

LYN: This is from my concert three years ago. I’m waiting for the audience, looking worried that I won’t have many fans in attendance. ^

LYN: This one was taken in the early days, when I was in a better condition. We took a whole set of “business” photos. ^

LYN: Look at this one. This one doesn’t want to live anymore. Pretending to be depressed, using his hand to hold up his head. In reality, the head is empty. Look at this guy- head empty. ^

LYN: This one is okay. It’s more recent. I look a little more lively, at least. You can see just a little bit of handsomeness on this face. ^

LYN: This is also more recent. But at that time I was a little chubby. Look at this big face. It’s even this big AFTER the picture was shopped. Think about what it would look like if it weren’t?? ^

LYN: THIS you can say was when I was at my peak visuals. I took this photo as part of a set for a magazine; there was also a video. This was probably the peak of my visuals. I took these when The Long Ballad was airing. ^

LYN: This is okay. Also more recent. Golden-haired. The Disney look. It was pretty lively. ^

LYN: There’s no problem with this one. I think it’s okay. This was a while ago. You can see- his eyes are different. There’s something there. ^

LYN: This one’s a fool. /laughs/ Look at this fool. Look at these eyes. They sure are open wide. Open but soulless. This guy doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. ^

LYN: This is- kind/a little foolish with a side of wandering. He looks youthful, with hopes for the future. ^

LYN: This one is.. more mature. This was taken for the Jiangsu New Year’s event. You can say I was a mature artist by then. I do have eyeliner here, but not as “deadening”. ^

LYN: This one is.. pretending to be young. This should have been for the New Year.. otherwise I wouldn’t be wearing red. But I did look more refined. ^

LYN: This one... has some after-editing. Why do these just keep scrolling? This one is quite nice, though. Curly hair. Hong Kong-style. (?) ^

LYN: This one... he has a stick! Pretending to be Sun Wukong, or what?? At this point, he already has the eyes of an actor. They’re not like the one before, with nothing in them. ^

LYN: This is... over-edited. It’s.. too much. ^

LYN: This one was not too long ago! I look a little... chubbier, here. Look at this baozi-face. ^ LYN: Oh, we came back around. This is the worst one (the first one). LYN: Alright. LYN: /sigh/ LYN: Let’s sing a song. It’s called 云字诀 (Yun Zi Jue). -- 云字诀 (Yun Zi Jue) [The Ingenious One OST] [The Ingenious One OST] LYN: Thanks, everyone. This song is quite nice. I pretty much liked it after my first listen.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: I want to hear a Cantonese song. LYN: Don’t rush. Ehm... hold on a minute. Let me go grab something more to drink. I’ll sing for you after I come back. I’m running out of videos to show you, though. Because honestly this stream is running a bit long. I don’t have enough. You can watch it again. Wait for me while I get some water. -- break #3.5 LYN: I’m back. Hold on, hold on. Let me find a song... (Stay with Me)

C: Where’s Daimi? LYN: She’s sleeping, don’t disturb her. She doesn’t have any schedule today. Let’s not disturb her. Let her sleep. Later, when she wakes up, I’ll call her over.

C: Did you see the ZY wrap trailer? LYN: What are you talking about? Of course I saw it. I acted in it, would I not go watch it? I’ve seen all the trailers for things I’ve acted in. It’s nice. I think in a few days there’ll be... no, never mind. I was just going to say there would be more content out in a short while. It’s a drama we spent several months working on, so I hope you can take a look when it comes out. LYN: Of course, YNGS as well- you have to watch. - /recites his lines from the trailer/ LYN: I remember it, because I only have so many. C: I support Ning Yuanzhou being abducted by aliens in the end. LYN: Have to taken a peek at the script? I admit it- at the end NYZ is taken away by aliens. The ending is a big suspense. He’s fighting with someone and in the very end, when it looks like he is about to win, a flash of light crosses the sky. A UFO appears and takes NYZ away. Why does it end like this? In preparation for a second season. The first part is called “Yi Nian Guan Shan”; the second part is called “Yi Nian Kai He”. Close (Guan) to Open (Kai). Mountain (Shan) to River (He). In the second season called YNKH- the UFO comes back in the first episode. NYZ has amnesia. C: “Er Nian Guan Shan” is easier to remember. C: “Yi Nian Guan Si”. LYN: What is that?? If the first part is called “Yi Nian Guan Shan”, then the second should be “Er Nian Guan Shan.” The third part is “San Nian Guan Shan”. If we make it all the way to season 11, would it be called “Shi Yi Nian Guan Shan”? LYN: We should call it “Yi Nian Guan Qi” (Guan Qi, the character from SYXSSYX, who was “abducted by aliens”). C: Negotiating more scenes for yourself in a second season? LYN: No- our screenwriter is Zhang Wei-laoshi. She likes to use people’s names, and she has her own “Zhang Wei Universe.” I don’t mean any disrespect. It’s just that a lot of her male characters across stories have a connection to each other. The detailed people will have found out. If you watch her dramas you’ll find that some names appear across the universes. For example our drama will mention the name of a character in a different one of her dramas. What was the name of the male lead in A Dream of Splendor? I think it was Gu Qianfan, right? In this drama, my name is Yuanzhou. Qianfan and Yuanzhou- don’t you think there has to be some relation there? [t/n: part of a common saying] LYN: We’re all part of Zhang Wei-laoshi’s written universe. It’s possible that when she writes a script in the future, there will be a character called Ning Yuanzhou in it. The other day she posted something to her friend circle- I think it might have been at the wrap party and she complimented me! I forgot exactly what she said, at the time I had a bit to drink. But I promised her that if he character Ning Yuanzhou ever showed up in another one of her works, I wouldn’t just let it be a name on a page- I would come to act for her. I would cameo for her, as long as she continues to write and write about NYZ. - /fan makes a side comment asking about how much he drank.how many dishes he has to eat/ LYN: So, friends. Don’t think that I am being unfair only to you. Because I don’t exclusively makes “pies” for you, either. I have nothing against you, that I make “empty promises”. Don’t assume that just because ZW-laoshi is a very amazing screenwriter that I won’t make “pies” for her, too. No- all are treated equal. // After this story, do you feel more at ease? I’m not only like this to you. I make pies for other laoshis to eat, too. XD LYN: But if she ever comes to look for me, I really do have to go. How could I not?? But... I’ll probably have something else going on when that time comes. I might have something else to do... but it’s not for sure! If she asks me, I have to make the time. I have to make good on my promise.

C: You drank four cans already. LYN: It’s not four. I probably have more... Oh. It is four! You got me. Four, and a can of coffee. LYN: Why are you keeping track of how many cans I’m drinking?? Are you going to take these to recycle? Should I mail them to you? C: You’ll get water swollen. LYN: What are you talking about? It’s a food thing to drink plenty of water. I don’t care about being bloated; I’m not going to be on camera tomorrow anyway. It’s fine. C: Give me the cans. I’ll sell them for money. LYN: Okay. Pay the postage yourself. I’ll send you these four cans, but pay the postage. C: The sugar content is high. LYN: No- this is just carbonated water. There’s no sugar/flavor. It’s just water.

C: The rising star of 2023- is that you? LYN: What an interesting question. I don’t get what you mean. From your language, I hear a story. That is, one day, you were surfing the internet when you inexplicably came across a fortune telling stream. The host posted an article that read, “In 2023, in this industry, there will be a rising star. A superstar will appear in the year of 2023.” They might have seen something like that, Am I right? Isn’t this story very complete? I extrapolated it out of just a few words. They probably saw someone post something like that. And then, in that moment, they thought that this prediction was describing me. They saw me streaming and they thought that they could see a purple aura from me. LYN: Look, I have lights here. So this friend thought, “Is it you?” Here’s the thing- I hope it is. If you ask me, of course I would hope its about me. Everyone wants to climb to the peak, right? But I’m guessing this “rising star” isn’t me. There are all sorts of highly skilled people are are just on the verge of popularity- why don’t you go ask them? It’s probably not me. You can go and ask them. I’m not- go ask someone else. LYN: I want to keep both feet on the ground, because I’m tall. If I climb too fast it might be too unstable. I’ll keep both feet on the floor- take it one step at a time to try one thing after another. I want to accumulate my viewers and their interests, and accumulate my own experience. That’s my path. Let’s not mess with any “rising stars.” LYN: Many stars pass in the blink of an eye. They’re shooting stars. So.. I don’t want to be a star. I’ll be... a little white rabbit. LYN: Now I want to gift you with a nice song. -- 感覺自己是巨星 (Think I’m a Superstar) [Mao Buyi] LYN: /to the tune of the song/ ~ Superstar, superstar we love you. Quickly, listen to us give you “rainbow farts” (excessive compliments). In our eyes, you’re the youngest. ~ LYN: So, friends. I would like to bear witness to exactly who this “rising star” is together with you. Who will it be? Let’s anticipate it! I’m also very curious! Let’s find out who it will be.

- - - - - - - - - -

- /Daimi barking/ LYN: Why are you being so mean? What do you have to be angry about? LYN: She’s awake. - /gives her the mic/ LYN: Weren’t you barking earlier? Come on, say something. Sing.

C: The rising star is Daimi. LYN: Are you talking about her? Let’s hope so. LYN: Once I said “rising star” she got angry- I mean- she woke up. I hope my female artist can be popular.

- /Daimi, licking his arm/ LYN: Enough of that! She keeps licking me. -/Daimi tries to lick him again/ LYN: ! Do you want me to stop streaming? You’re trying to get me to stop, is that it? Okay, I understand. Sorry, friends. I need to stop streaming now because Daimi was pushing my hand away. She doesn’t want me to stream anymore. She doesn’t want me to stream- she’s about to eat my mouse. - /Daimi tries to lick his hand again/ LYN: Tsk. That’s enough... - /makes her wave/

- /dancing/ - /promptly puts her on the floor/ LYN: /to Daimi/ Go play, go play. Don’t bother me. It’s time to work.

- - - - - - - - - -

C: Ning-ge, could you wish me well on my exam? LYN: Of course I can. I hope that tomorrow, or all of this week- everyone who is preparing to take the NCEE is in good spirits and can have a good result. Let’s amaze the world with one brilliant feat and reach for the stars. - /had said the proverb wrong, initially/ LYN: Excuse me. See- this is what an uncultured person will do. They’ll say the wrong thing. People who haven’t taken the NCEE will mis-read the phrasing. - /makes up for it by saying a bunch more (correctly)/

C: Ning-ge, could you bless me with passing the 16th level (?)? LYN: Am I a tortoise? Is my stream a wishing well? And I am the tortoise in that pond? You’ve come to me with your wishes? Then, why aren’t you throwing me any money? You should at least leave an offering, before making a wish. This is just... forceful wishing. What you’re doing is taking game money to throw into the pond, to trick me. LYN: I’m sure you’ll pass. Do well on the test! LYN: In order to become the “Rising Star of 2023″ like mentioned earlier, from now on I will change my name. I’ll be Liu Ziwei. Don’t call me Liu Yuning anymore. From now on I will be known as Liu Ziwei.

LYN: Friends, how many of you are watching my stream for the first time? How may of you are first-timers? If this is your first time watching or if you don’t watch often, you can subscribe to my weibo. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Here’s the thing with my streams- most of the time I’m speaking nonsense. Don’t take anything to heart and don’t fall for any tricks. If you take this too seriously then it becomes meaningless. That just proves that you are too innocent. Only believe about 20% of what I say here. Most of the time I will use an amusing or joking delivery to communicate with my fans and make the people who maybe don’t necessarily hate me stay a while. Just listen to my stream for entertainment. Don’t fall for what I say. Okay? I’m not capable of teaching you any lessons or opinions. Just listen for entertainment. C: Before you told us to believe 30% of what you said. How did it dwindle to only 20%? LYN: /sigh/ It used to be that I wasn’t very strict with what I said, so it ended up that people had a lot to hold against me. I was ridiculed for my words. Though it might not have been my intention, I was honestly too careless with what I said. So now my game plan is to say more nonsense and avoid more... sensitive topics. It’s fine as long as you are okay and I am okay, and everyone is happy.

C: Will you sing a Cantonese song? LYN: I don’t know very many. Let me sing this for you. -- 无赖 (Rascal) [Ronald Cheng] LYN: Listen for entertainment. I’m a North-easterner, after all. My Cantonese is very poor. I know that. So.. it’s for fun. Someone earlier said “You’re Cantonese is skewing!” I don’t know what they meant by that, but probably that my pronunciation was off. It’s alright.

LYN: Let me think... what other Cantonese songs do I know? What else do I know...? C: Once you start speaking the Dongbei dialect comes out. LYN: What else did you expect?

C: I’m a Cantonese person. I can say, it sounded very nice! LYN: You really are clever at speaking. “I’m a Cantonese person, I can say it sounded very nice... but it wasn’t accurate.”

C: First Love. LYN: Oh~ -- 初恋 (First Love)

C: I’m going to throw up. (bc of the video and swaying) LYN: Your age...? Forget about you- I’M a little nauseous. LYN: Is my stream over-trying to be cool? It’s slightly over. LYN: This is too eye-searing, yeah? Okay. Let’s stick with this effect for the... “middle-aged”.

LYN: I thought of a song just now. I REALLY really like it. -- 一生所爱 (Lifelong Love) LYN: If there’s a chance later I’ll sing it properly for you. I don’t really have much strength left, today.

- /Daimi barks/ LYN: :| What are you barking at?

-- 倩女幽魂 (A Chinese Ghost Story)

LYN: That’s about it. It’s about time, friends. Thank you for keeping me company and for your support. I told you I would stream until you threw up. In terms of length, today’s stream didn’t let you down, did it? I accidentally saw a little earlier, how long I’ve streamed for. Right now it’s... four hours and thirty-five minutes. C: Don’t go! Don’t! LYN: I’ve been streaming for four and a half hours. That’s not a small amount. If i keep streaming /I’M/ going to throw up. You’re over there lying on your bed and snacking on melon seeds, but I’ve been over here yelling and singing, moving my mouth for four and a half hours! Now you’re telling me you don’t want me to go?? I’m going to throw up! I’m not streaming until you throw up, I’m streaming until /I/ feel like throwing up, now. Do you think you’re the only one who sees that violently shaking video and gets dizzy? I get dizzy too! I’m older in age- you all know that. C: You still turn it on, even though it makes you dizzy? LYN: I just wanted to give you the best experience in such a simple stream, didn’t I?? I didn’t want you to feel like I was just sitting in a room. I wanted to give you some stage effects, so that you can immerse yourself. I do this all so you can feel included- even this laugh sound. It’s all so you can immerse yourself in this room and the mood. Even though I’ve made myself nauseous- I still have to power through and stream for you. It’s all for the immersive experience, is that not enough??

LYN: It’s about time. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. I thank you all for keeping me company and for watching my stream. Even if you’ve only been watching for thirty minutes or if you’ve been here from the start. I thank you. I hope to see you in the next one, alright? I hope you had a relaxing, wonderful, and happy night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. See you next time! Goodnight, everyone!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(4:40:00)#album/concert chat #entertainment industry observation #new hobby?#dogs chat #laughing in the face of antis #osts and pricing #playing with filters #some singing #including zs's 光亮 #!#左手指月 (Upwards to the Moon)#HAHAH #lyn's biggest anti is himself #daimi time #[i forgot how to Chinese???]#[it's been a long two weeks friends]

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