#I’m not anti comment just. pro comments being about the post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artist-issues · 5 months

Note

“At least it's not ferociously attacking God quite as directly as Steven Universe did…”

Not that I’m surprised by this statement, but can you elaborate on this? Kinda intrigued by your thoughts on Steven Universe.

Okie dokie, you’re not the only one who has asked me about this, so I suppose I’ll poke the hornet’s nest. 😅 I haven’t talked about this before because I assumed that everyone who wanted to hear my kinds of opinions on stories wasn’t watching or interested in Steven Universe.

It’s like asking vegetarian if they enjoyed a turkey dinner. The turkey dinner was so obviously not made for vegetarians to enjoy, so why would the vegetarian even bother analyzing the turkey?

But I think if some people are asking me why I think Steven Universe is anti-God (of the Bible) its because maybe they don’t know what the turkey is. Not completely. (Maybe not you, because like you said, you’re not surprised by my comment.) So I’ll explain my thoughts on Steven Universe.

If you’re just following me because you liked some stuff I posted, but didn’t realize that I’m a Bible-believing Christian and don’t want to hear about it, unfollow me now. Because I’m going to talk about some hot button issues here and the trolls will come out.

Steven Universe is really well-done. The jokes are funny, the writing is believable, the characters have great chemistry, great design, the concept is fascinating, the slow build-up and reveal of the plot elements is great. But when you watch the throne room scene in the last episode of Season 5 “Change Your Mind,” it’s alarmingly clear how much the whole show is not just settling for defending and championing the LGBTQ+ worldview—it goes all the way to attacking what Christians believe, on the other side.

Anything that’s pro-LGBTQ+ is doing that by default, but this show goes out of its way to do that.

You have to understand: God created and designed us. Deeper than that; He created and designed romantic relationships, and invented marriage. He didn’t just create love—He is love. So when humans come along and do what we’ve always done since the fall, and say, “I’d rather define what Your thing is and how it works for myself, God,” it’s not only an incredible slap in the face, it’s an attack on God’s actual identity—and it’s destructive for us and the people around us. Like a fish insisting it can breathe oxygen.

But Steven Universe goes beyond that. It knows that the Christian worldview is it’s biggest opposition. It digs right down to the heart of the worldview-battle. LGBTQ+ worldview says, “I should get to love what I want and be who I am, because I’m me. Love is love. (By which I mean, any action or relationship I choose to call love is love, because I’m the one calling it that.)”

Biblical worldview says “No, wait, you shouldn’t base your decisions on you alone; what you want changes day to day, and you’re broken, so you can’t ever be satisfied based on what you want—the Bible says God made you for something, and you rejected that, and it broke you. You’re not how you’re meant to be: even what you want and what you think love is is twisted up and can hurt you and others. But if you submit to God He’ll help you, He’ll fix what’s broken and give you new life by making you how you were supposed to be: He’ll live in you and through you.”

Are we beginning to get the picture?

See, the whole thing with the opposing views between LGBTQ+ and Christian people is as old as time. It’s not a new debate. It’s Satan and Eve in the garden. She says, “This is not how God said things should be,” and Satan says, “Are you sure that’s what He said? He knows if you do this thing, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be god: you’ll get to decide ‘how things should be’ for yourself.”

He lied and said that disobedience would satisfy her. That she knew what her own heart needed better than the God that made it did. That the very act of being imperfect would make her godlike.

And then Steven Universe comes along and says “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs.”

And has a cast of created being characters who’s imperfections (Garnet’s forbidden “love,” Pearl’s obsession, Amethyst’s insecurity) are supposedly “the best thing about them; what makes them who they are.”

And has a main character who used to be a part of the god-like creator relationship, but used her power to come down to earth and completely change who she is into a fully different person.

And has a godlike Creator character who claims she “doesn’t need” her created beings (just like the God of the Bible) but they all have a little part of their creator in them so she has to repress their imperfections; she holds them all to a standard that’s impossible to reach called “perfection” and punishes them when they don’t meet it even though it hurts them to try; she expects them all to do what they were created by her for; she fixes them when they can’t meet her standard by shining her light through them and making them extensions of their Creator.

And has a main character who argues, fights back, tries to stop her, and is answered with lines that sound surprisingly like what LGBTQ+ people hear when Christians argue with them: “you’re only making things worse; you’re just deceiving yourself; even while you resist it your actual light can’t help shining through,” etc.

White Diamond just wants everything to be perfect. Like her. She just wants her created beings to “be themselves.” But what she means is, be how she created them to be.

And she’s the bad guy. She’s playing God in this show, and Rebecca Sugar is saying, “If God is telling us that can only be happy by being perfect, as He is perfect, and doing what He created us to do, then He’s wrong. Our imperfections are what make us special—unique—individuals—free—and there is nobody who has the right to take that freedom away from us, not even out creator!”

And you know what?

If God were like White Diamond, like Rebecca Sugar believes Him to be, Steven Universe would be right.

But He is NOT.

God is not a dictator who forces us to conform to a standard of perfection and then smashes us when we don’t meet it. He is a King who made us perfect to begin with, and we rejected him, because He allowed us to do that. He knew that true love was love that had to be chosen, and He wanted us to love Him by choice, so he gave us the option. But Rebecca Sugar doesn’t understand—there was never “Choose God or Choose Yourself.” There was only, “Choose God or Choose Nothing.” There was nothing except God. Then He created everything. There is no version of reality where you have something better than God, or even slightly less good but different, to pick. You’re not jumping from one ship into a smaller one, but at least it’s yours—you’re jumping from one ship into a void, and then complaining that there’s no other ship. That’s humans. That’s not God. / White Diamond didn’t make her creations perfect (Amethyst) and she didn’t make them for love. She made them for power. That’s not the God of the Bible.

Even when we did choose to try and love ourselves instead of God, and therefore warped our ability to perfectly love at all, He didn’t smash us. True, everything fell and was cursed, which is exactly what He warned us would happen if we chose it, but it was a natural consequence of breaking ourselves. And then He didn’t leave us that way. He didn’t give up on us. And He certainly didn’t just zap us, snap His fingers, quick-fix it and turn us all into robots who are extensions of Him, who say they love Him but only because it’s His voice puppeting us to say it.

No. He came to us, chose to give up His life at the exact point on the timeline when Romans, masters in the art of slow, humiliating, torturous death, would be the ones to carry out His crucifixion, and saved us Himself. Through the sacrifice of His own life. And even then, we still have a choice. We get to choose to accept that incredible self-sacrifice when we don’t deserve it, and be given new life and a relationship with the Creator who knows us and loves us better than we can love ourselves or receive love from others—OR we can just keep stubbornly insisting that our slavery to the opposite of what God wants is somehow freedom, and our twisted versions of love are genuine, and we’re not broken, and die like that. Die broken creatures who lived their whole lives stomping their feet and screaming “I’m not a creature, I’m a god!”

White Diamond sacrifices nothing, because Rebecca Sugar doesn’t know the God of the Bible. She just knows her idea of Him. She’s never actually gotten to know Him. If she had, she’d learn how silly and twisted her idea is.

Because you know what, yeah, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. But people aren’t pork chops. And hot dogs have flavor (not better than pork chops) but they are awful for you.

Christians aren’t perfect cuts of meat with no individuality or flavor. Just because we all know and love the same God doesn’t mean we have no personalities. It just means we don’t think so freaking much about what we are, or who we get to be, or what we like and want. Jeez, what a self-centered, narcissistic, self-obsessed way to live. She plays Steven like he’s this wonder-child, innocent and full of heart, who encourages his friends to love and keep trying. But honestly?

This is very pretty animation but it’s not real. Steven looks happy hugging Steven but self-love doesn’t ultimately get you that.

That’s all based on the premise that what he’s encouraging them to do is actually good, and will make them happy, and will help them love better. And it just won’t. Not in real life. That’s not how any of this works. Self-love is just self-obsession. And that is a sure-fire way to hurt you, and everyone around you.

You’ll never be free by choosing to run to a worse master. You’ll never be satisfied with your crappy attempts at loving yourself, because you were made to be loved flawlessly and forever by someone who is Love Himself.

And choosing to identify with your imperfections doesn’t make you uniquely you. It just makes you exactly like every other human being marching in the same line since the Fall.

White Diamond’s not relational. She’s up high and distant. That’s not God. He made you to be in relationship with Him. He loves you, totally and perfectly, and He proved it by sacrificing for You.

So yeah. That’s the problem with Steven Universe. Come get me, SU fans.

#Steven universe #su #Pearl #amethyst #garnet #Steven universe fans #change your mind #white Diamond #Christianity #Christian’s #asked #answered #thanks #rattling the cage #Rebecca sugar

660 notes · View notes

theredqueenandthebloodwyrm · 2 months

Text

I see we’re just reposting things without sources for some reason?? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s because the tweet used the magic word “Zionist” which is taken to be “irredeemably evil and vile person”. For context, the context which that tweet purposely left out (and yeah I’m going to say it’s fucking purposeful) is this article by the NPR. Inside this article the allegedly pro-Palestine posts on social media were fucking videos of the Hamas on October 7th. So, yeah if you’re reposting antisemitic stuff (blatantly antisemitic too), fuck you.

The images that came out of Israel on October 7 were brutal and graphic, and the images coming out of Gaza for months now are constant, also brutal and horrific. All this violence is being shared on social media, and as KQED's Lesley McClurg reports, that's affecting the mental health of Americans with loved ones in Gaza and in Israel. A warning - this story contains descriptions of violence. LESLEY MCCLURG, BYLINE: Some of the footage Shoshana Howard (ph) saw on social media months ago still haunts her. A video appears to show a Hamas fighter pulling an Israeli hostage from the trunk of a jeep. CNN aired a clip of the video. (SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING) UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: Her face is bleeding, and her wrists appear to be cable-tied behind her back. MCCLURG: It looks like blood is seeping through the back of the woman's sweatpants. SHOSHANA HOWARD: And that broke me - and then seeing friends calling it liberation. MCCLURG: Howard, who is Jewish, couldn't believe people she knew were writing comments online that, to her, felt inhumane and anti-Jewish. HOWARD: That's when I started to have night terrors, and I was ending my days going into my closet and just would cry. MCCLURG: She couldn't stop thinking about her cousins living in Israel. As the days passed, it became harder to focus on her life and work in Oakland. HOWARD: Like, I just was so fragile. MCCLURG: And then recently, she felt shamed by a friend who told her her grief doesn't matter when so many Palestinians are suffering.

Is it “making the argument” to point out the hypocrisy of saying the Houthis (a terror organization) are protecting international laws and human rights when there’s documented evidence of Houthis perpetrating slavery, diverting humanitarian aid, and so on? Or you know, is it providing necessary context that readers might want to know?

And the comments below that tweet are awful (with a few exceptions rightfully pointing out accuracy of said community note and how slavery is in fact bad).

Antisemitic Tweet #1: This is what all community notes have become now. Total Zionist propaganda machine.

Antisemitic Tweet #2: There's been an influx of "community notes" that are clearly just people trying to protect the narrative.

Antisemitic Tweet #3: It's like the Israeli Bot accounts that change the community notes to favor Israel.

Already reblogged multiple posts explaining what's wrong with the Houthis with sources attached, so linking those now to save space (rather than adding ten different links).

This? This is what you say on October 7th, 2023?

Shaun: Lot of reaping being condemned by the sowers today. Shaun (cont.): I'm talking about politicians who stridently oppose all options except those which lead to violence and then act shocked violence occurs. Their condemnations of violence are worthless while they ignore their hand in the apartheid causing it.

October 7th was an attack against civilians where hostages were taken, people were murdered, people who advocated for peace were harmed, killed, and so on.

I also noticed a tweet not too far down from that one which said the following:

Lots of people in these comments very mad that Palestinians aren't being victims of occupation in the right and proper way.

No, people are mad about civilians being massacred and taken as hostages by a terrorist organization. The lack of empathy is something.

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #shaunvids #I feel stupid that I didn't know this until now

158 notes · View notes

babyitsgayoutside · 4 days

Text

I went viral on instagram for being a Pro-shipper

Before I even knew what a pro-shipper was.

Around this time last year I had just gotten back to the states from being in Japan for 3-ish months. I posted a reel jokingly showing off some of the BL Manga that I had bought during my stay.

In the video I showed Volume one of Yarachin Slut club and volume one of Hitorijime, my hero.

If you don’t know these series. Yarachin is about a group of boys who run a high school sex club it also has various degrees of dubcon and gang rape. The other deposits an age gap relationship teacher/student.

The reel where I showed these manga went viral on the wrong side of the internet and In 2 months my instagram received over 80,000,000 views across all my reels and I’m averaging at this current moment 10-20,000,000 views a month.

the comments I was receiving and have been receiving since are beyond words.

Some examples of what the more tame comments

And if you think the comments are bad (not shown are the hundreds of comments telling me I’m not trans or gay, that I’m a cis woman pretending to be queer to garner support from the queer community, misgendering and deadnaming me, threading to dox me/send my address/personal info to people via DMs. Not to mention the newest group of people who found out I have a dead sibling and are using that as a way to attack me now as well. My DMs are also terrible.

These people are mad about two volumes of manga. Manga I bought in a brick and mortar store in Japan. Manga that have official anime adaptations.

They are calling a manga you can currently buy at Barnes and Nobel child p*rn and calling me a p*dip hole becuase i own it.

I don’t know what the point of this post is really, I’ve come back to tumblr and realize the entire internet does not in fact hate me, and people on here actually can logically think about things like this not in black and white.

Am I a pro shipper?

I’ve heard if the term, I’ve seen it around and always thought It was for extreme niche interests in fanfic, fictional media and general fictional content that I don’t particularly find myself reading or interacting with ever.

But then I looked into it after being called it 1000000 times a day on my social media and I relaxed it’s not about normalizing incestfics or spreading niche fan art around tags like antis would have you believe. At the end of the day it’s a group of people online with a very punk aligned mentality that censorship is wrong. Fiction is a place for self expression and understand that fiction is fiction. It’s not about individual tags on a03 or black butler ships. It’s about the freedom to express yourself thought fucking fiction. Weather it be to cope with trauma, or to just get some fucking weird feelings you are having out on paper through fanfciton, through projecting into a character from media you like.

I’m not big with labels, so I’m not a “proshipper” but I’m on their side, because it’s the right side.

You can argue all you want it’s not, that they are “horrible people” for the fictional media they consume. But the opposite side is literally telling me to “slit vertically” on a daily basis. You are no better than the people you hate.

Anywho, yeah. Going viral sucks.

#proshipper safe #proshippers please interact #proship #anti censorship #anti anti #antis dni #shipping discourse #boy love #age gap ship

63 notes · View notes

peonycats · 5 months

Text

So I was recently informed that my latest post caused someone to accuse me of posting Chinese imperialism apologia, specifically for my tag comment that says: "If you accuse me of being hypocritical because I'm so anal about tying the nations to their states when it comes to the West but shy away when it comes to China, 1) you clearly don't know how Sinophobia works and 2) I ain't no coward."

Now, it may perplex you how people can accuse me of being a CCP apologist for a post where I called China a slut and specifically noted China's poor treatment of Uyghurs, but unfortunately, it's not the first time I've received accusations of being pro-CCP despite no supporting evidence.

I know I don't talk a lot about my personal life or internal goings-on on this blog, but I want to say this- I'm not completely unaffected by these frequent accusations. It hurts to see me being reduced to my Chineseness. My Chineseness being weaponized to discredit me as a wumao feels incredibly dehumanizing, and it hurts even more to see people believe those accusations.

To give you my background, I was raised in a fairly nationalist household; my grandfather was born as an illiterate peasant and consequently came to hold very pro-Mao beliefs. From an early age, I often came to verbal blows with my parents (and my extended family) over these beliefs and argued frequently with them over Taiwan, Tibet's annexation, and China's policies towards minorities. I remember representing Kazakhstan for Model United Nations and was assigned to write a paper on the Kazakh reaction towards China’s unlawful detention of Uyghurs. Just mentioning this simple fact to my parents sparked a heated “debate” where they accused me of being brainwashed by Western propaganda, and that I was incapable of understanding China’s actions because I was born in the US.

I haven’t brought up any of this because I’m a private person by nature, and I felt that my posts should speak for themselves about my political beliefs. And yet, I find myself in the position of where I need to bring this up in order to defend myself from accusations of supporting Chinese imperialism, for disagreeing with another person, or calling something sinophobic/promoting sinophobia.

Sinophobia overlaps with other forms of racism, especially anti-Asian racism when other Asians are mistaken to be Chinese. However, we have to recognize that the specificity of China itself in "mistaken to be Chinese" is also what distinguishes Sinophobia from the more general anti-Asian racism. It indicates a designation of China as a prominent actor on the world stage, and most importantly- an inherently antagonistic one. The symbolism of China being inherently antagonistic is what justifies the conflation of Chinese people with the Chinese state; if China is by nature antagonistic then Chinese people must subsequently be extensions of the Chinese government, and every action they do must be politicized.

What are the implications when the fandom gives the okay to depictions of America hanging out with countries that the actual USA has fraught history with, but as soon as China does the same, questions and concerns arise about “making light” of China’s irl actions? That China can’t be disassociated with his state the same way other imperialist powers are in the fandom?

Bear in mind, I am saying this as someone who personally interprets all the nations as inherently political entities. China is no exception to this- my most recent post was parodying an Onion article about Biden and Xi, where Alfred and Yao literally take on the roles of their heads of state. I am the last person who shies away from politicizing all the nations.

Rather, I am pointing out how China is being exceptionalized from wider fandom trends of depoliticizing the characters; I find this pattern troubling, as over-politicizing a Western nation (like America) does not have the same implications as over-politicizing China.

The latter reflects dangerous trends on how Chinese people, especially Chinese communities abroad, are perceived, how we’re expected to answer for and answer to the Chinese government and its actions, and how, at best, we’re dismissed as being simply brainwashed, and how at worst, we’re seen as enemies of the populace, threats to national integrity. When we are seen to be “acting out of line,” we are viewed as perpetual outsiders, agents of a foreign regime. The same judgment is not levied towards white Americans, even those who live in America, vote in America, and benefit from American imperialism.

I witnessed the dramatic rise in anti-Asian hate crimes and Sinophobic rhetoric during the COVID-19 pandemic: I was living in Atlanta during the 2020 spa shootings and I didn’t leave my dorm room for a week afterward. I worried over my mother, who every week, went to shop at local Chinese grocery stores in the area. I heard people spread conspiracy theories about how the virus was engineered by the Chinese government and spread by Chinese in the West as part of some grand conspiracy to ensure Chinese global dominance. All of this, led me to become conscious (in a way I hadn’t been before) of how conflating Chinese people with the Chinese government was frequently employed by bigots to mask their violent prejudice under the guise of “being anti-CCP.”

As a result, being Chinese diaspora is an emotionally fraught experience. Not only are we under constant scrutiny by others, but Chinese Mainlander diaspora specifically like myself face rejection when we choose to go against our families’ beliefs. But despite that, despite me being born and raised in the United States and living with this sort of bigotry all my life, it still cuts me deeply to see someone so quickly accuse me of supporting Chinese imperialist actions, despite me never posting in favor of the CCP in the past, simply because I pointed out how sinophobia manifests. It cuts even deeper to see people, people I know, agree with that assessment, and how I have to go out and publicly reveal details of my personal life to try and exonerate myself.

It really does hurt.

#not hetalia #// long post #i think im gonna take a break from posting for a while #I just need some time away

69 notes · View notes

prettyoddfever · 3 months

Note

why are you so against ryden

I'm literally only pointing out why specific examples of "Ryden proof" don't work, or were misinterpreted by people who don't know much about the band. If me being pro-reality means that you consider me anti-Ryden then, uh… you might want to examine that more.

As long as we're on this topic, I'm going to expand on an older post here and go off on a tangent:

I actually loved the Ryden part of the fandom in the pre-split days! Ryden felt like a fandom-wide inside joke that united so many fans and sparked so much creativity (sometimes it reminded me of inventing bs symbolism in english & art classes lol). I didn’t read the slash, but it’s not like those kids stayed exclusively over in their communities… they were everywhere. A lot of my favorite accounts were massive Ryden fans & fic authors. but even the most die-hard shippers in 2006 & 2007 would scoff if new fans asked if they were ever being serious with their comments. It was all just entertaining wish fulfillment done to amuse themselves. They would act like it was a legit alternate reality and write long funny primers & posts like “look guys, they are in love. this is facts… here I go with my proof," but when it came down to whether or not they actually thought it was real… no, of course not. The fanfic authors were the first to laugh and say they weren’t hurting anyone because nobody actually believed Ryden was real and everyone was on the same page. They argued that every single band had a slash community and it just came with the fame. Some fans genuinely wanted Ryden to be real, while others thought it was entertaining how you could cherry-pick events & isolate them from any context to make Ryden look plausible. And both groups were taking matters into their own hands by trying to tie enough pictures & random dots together to make it look like a happy alternate reality that satisfied everyone. It was funny.

The majority of the pre-split fandom understood that Ryden wasn’t real, so people were on the same page when they shared their “proof.” It was like an inside joke. For example, I’ll argue that unicorns could be real because I know that the person I’m talking to is aware of reality. I can get as creative as I want and just have fun because we’re both on the same page… and the other person will be like “well yes of course they’re obviously real.” It looks like we agree. But that does not mean that we truly believe it lol... we're just bored & entertaining ourselves. Someone else who is unsure whether or not unicorns actually exist might read our convo and conclude that we are certain unicorns are real and have proof! But I never intended for my silly convo with my friend to be taken that seriously.

For me, Ryden was more about the fandom. It was just fun to see a picture or new moment and wait to see if anyone else spotted the same potential too. The slash accounts across different sites/forums would even make fun of themselves for how far they would go to make everything fit Ryden. At times it felt like an affectionate joke about the band and the fandom.

I’d say the Ryden craze first took over with the huge surge of new fans during the summer 2006 tour (around the time Brendon & Ryan started fully going for the mic sharing each night). This was back when the band still read the forums and different fan sites and were trying to get a sense of what their fans were saying (such a bad idea lol). I was never totally clear on where the guys stood on Ryden in 2006 but it seemed like they were in on the joke… but it was so confusing at the same time. Like one minute they’d complain about the disgusting “pornfiction” in an interview and the next minute they’d be hamming it up for meet & greet pictures. Bden would practically hump Ryan’s leg during a show and then Ryan would suggestively run his hand up Bden’s thigh during a meet & greet exactly when he knew fans were watching… and then they’d both act like they didn’t get why fans ever came up with stories about them. I’m not saying their actions meant they were asking for something btw. I’m just saying that it’s equally true that the guys would claim they weren’t huge on Ryden and that they intentionally fueled the fire to get fans to laugh/scream at the right time. The band was super aware that the Ryden fans were a huge part of the fandom who drove a lot of the hype online… so it seemed like in late 2006 the guys were just trying to connect with a fanbase they were being quickly distanced from as they got more & more famous. Then in 2008 the guys intentionally added extra Ryden elements to their stage routine because they knew what a lot of fans still wanted to see.

So my conclusion was that it was all in good fun (except making suggestive comments to the band irl was horrible… people were even saying some seriously gross stuff to Zack about the boys and taking it waaaaay too far). During the lull of 2007, and even into 2008, there seemed to be a whole section of the fandom that was more invested in their fanfic communities than the irl band (they’d often come onto other boards & communities to ask for facts or details for their fanfics and watching the replies they got was like watching a really bad game of telephone haha so I’m guessing those plots diverged from reality pretty quickly). New fans were also being introduced to the band through fanfiction and seemed more intent on just spotting Ryden moments and learning the fanfic version of history rather than any real-life history. So by late 2008 there was definitely a small crowd who was taking Ryden more seriously and also understood less about the band. But I wasn't always sure if their tone was totally serious or not, because the joking posts had often been written in a serious tone too.

Side note on that: when I started this account in 2020 I hadn't thought about P!ATD much while I had been sick for years. I was just trying to throw myself back into the mindset of 2006 and rediscover a time when my world had been awesome & I was healthy. So when I saw all the sun/moon theories that had formed after I'd left the fandom I was like YES omg this is amazing. I lived for that kind of stuff. But then it was confusing how the same people who were currently posting all of the “ryden was real” stuff were the same ones who would quickly point out that another one of my Ryden posts wasn’t what really happened or that a photo manip that I considered fun was actually fake… I mean, obviously??? I didn’t get why there was any difference between everything. It took me a few months to get a read on the current fandom and realize that things weren't being done in the same joking spirit. I started struggling to explain why I was posting Ryden-ish stuff if I didn’t necessarily believe what I was saying (and again I’m having a hard time explaining here because it never felt like the fandom was making up crap we didn’t stand behind back then! we were serious that we believed it was a darn good connection/theory or photoshop job haha). Ryden used to be like this shared alternate lens to view events through that felt like teamwork to create. We would intentionally pretend like years of full context didn't exist and create our own parallel narrative that could coexist with reality in our minds. But now it feels like people are sharing "Ryden proof" for real as though the piles of creative nonsense are an actual recap of historic events... and you need to pick some kind of "side" to believe? Idk, it's weird. I dropped any remaining nostalgia connected with Ryden content and ended up shifting the tone & focus of my account to organizing actual facts, media, and info about events I remember.

I don't think it's ok that moments in the band's history are often distorted or erased in order to pass off certain examples of “Ryden proof” as real now. It would be a shame for ridiculous Ryden stories to be prioritized as key info about the band while normal info about band members & events gets ignored now (ex: turning Northern Downpour into some kind of Ryden thing totally erases what Ryan wanted to do with the song). A lot of people have told me that they don’t care what actually happened because they prefer their ideas anyways. And that’s fine, as long as you’re aware that what you’re choosing doesn't track with reality. (Also, I always felt like knowing the real events or original photos from a manip gave me more appreciation for how creative people were… but I suppose that’s because Ryden was more about the fandom for me).

SIDE TANGENT: I drifted away from the fandom after summer 2009 when I got sick, so I don’t know specifically what happened over the next couple years to get so many fans who were impressively uninformed about the band yet super intense about Ryden at the same time... but I'm also not surprised I guess. Some knowledge about the band absolutely faded to the background in the last half of 2006 as the overwhelming amount of newer fans invented their own answers and were more interested in freaking out over cute guys than actually taking the time to learn about the band. The knowledge wasn't lost, it was just drowned out for a while in the midst of their enthusiastic chatter. It felt like a waste of time to correct them too because they were absolutely everywhere and they weren't really harming anyone by screaming things like Ryan took his mom as a date to the VMAs lol. Maybe there was a surge of younger fans by 2010-2011 who didn't have the context to know what they were looking at too, and were very enthusiastic about Ryden? I don't know. This is all purely speculation on my part.

I actually don't care whether anyone thinks Ryden was real or not... that's definitely not my focus and I'm not trying to convince anyone of a "side" either. You can conclude whatever you want. My focus in my posts is simply to provide context for some of the inaccurate stories & examples that are currently being passed around as though they're actual history. I don't expect anyone to care. But at least the info is still available for any younger fans who might be interested in the real-life band.

#ryden

39 notes · View notes

lexivass · 3 months

Note

what changed your mind about the Israel/Palestine conflict?

Hello, anon! I got this ask this morning, and it took me some time to respond to it because this is a delicate issue and I wanted to measure my words the best I could. As I was writing this I realized many of my beliefs were rooted in antisemitism, so I apologize in advance. If any Jewish person reads this, please feel free to correct me, and again, I’m sorry. Some of the things below really make me feel ashamed.

I wouldn't say I "changed" my mind about the conflict, but that I've begun to see things in a wider perspective, especially when it comes to the October 7 attack and the veiled (but not really) antisemitism that’s been growing lately (I don’t mean to say it didn’t happen before, but that people are getting more comfortable doing it now under the guise of being pro-Palestine. Many people aren’t even trying to sugarcoat it anymore, they’re straight up saying “the jews are to blame for everything and they control everything”).

It’s clear that the government of Israel has been conducting brutal attacks in many parts of Gaza and killing innocent civilians since October 7 - no one can convince me the 20.000+ people who died were Hamas terrorists and that every single building bombed was a Hamas hideout, and that a ceasefire is not the best solution.

But at the same time there has been a lot of misinformation (and insensibility) going around, and the way people react to it shows that antisemitism is still very present, it is still very easy to look at jewish people with distrust or to ignore what they say because we think that after the Holocaust their troubles ended forever, and they shouldn’t complain about anything. Basically, that they are not a minority, therefore what they say shouldn’t be taken into consideration. But that is not the case.

The government of Israel has done terrible things in the past decades, no one is denying that. But a government doesn't always represent its people. It’s a very old saying, one that we preach so loudly but when it comes to the people of Israel we tend to forget about it. Like many others, when October 7 happened I thought Hamas was a resistance group, and that the hostages were not being hurt or murdered. I believed it without even running a background check on them. And whenever I saw Jewish people saying that a new wave of antisemitism was growing I simply didn’t believe it. It’s not something I’m proud of but I genuinely believed that they were only saying this because they didn’t want people to criticize the government of Israel.

It was only after I swallowed my own arrogance that I realized this was not an exaggeration. There are people who frankly think jews are subhuman, that Hitler was right, that the Hamas hostages deserved everything they went through. I saw a post with a link to an article about the victims who were violated by Hamas terrorists. I did not read it because I heard it was extremely brutal, but I saw the comments and the insensitivity in those comments was disturbing. I saw people saying it was pure propaganda, that nothing happened to them because they were just “lying jewish women”, that even if it happened it was “resistance against oppression”. I cannot say if it happened or not, but it’s not normal to look at someone who was kidnapped, kept away from their families for months and put through God knows what and claim publicly and out loud, with 100% conviction, that everything that comes out their mouths is a lie.

Why is it “believe the victims” until they’re jewish? Or “listen to minorities” until the minority in question are jewish people? Why is it that we wave an anti-nazi flag over our heads but still treat jewish people like shit? We, and by we I mean people who believe in social activism, don't do this to black, queer, indigenous people, so why do it to jews?

As I began to read more about nazi rhetoric and antisemitism I came across a reblog from one of my (now former) favorite poets, in which the OP was basically preaching for the “ruin” of Israel. They didn’t say “I hope Netanyahu leaves office”, “I hope the army soldiers who were filmed practicing brutality towards civilians are punished”. They said Israel as a whole, forgetting that there are people there. Civilians who are against violence, protesting in the sake of Palestine, people who do want Netanyahu out of the office, and people who have nowhere else to go. How do you expect to move millions of people to another country? What guarantee that this country even wants them? We see it every two months tragedies that occur involving mass immigration. “Oh, but the US can help them!” Do you think the US gives a shit about jewish people? Do you think the UK put Israel in the middle east because they wanted jews to have a home? Look me in the eye and tell me you believe that.

Palestians have the right to recover their seized territories and to live dignified lives. Israelis have a right to have a Jewish state. Both peoples deserve better, it’s not a competition about who suffers more. I’m not a diplomat, expert or judge of an international court of justice, but it’s clear that the minute people start to take sides one of the sides will be seen as the victim and the other as the villain. When people preach for the “ruin” of Israel they are no better than the people who say Palestinians deserve to die.

#antisemitism #tw antisemitism #palestine #gaza #gaza strip #israel #judaism #asks #anon ask #hamas

41 notes · View notes

pettytiredandjewish · 2 months

Text

Y’all I’ve noticed something (for quite some time) while scrolling through this hell hole of a site (and other social media sites too) and I honestly don’t know what to think but uh…

You know how the “pro Palestine” crowd and “anti Zionist” crowd goes on these long rants that claims that all Zionist and Israelis are so unhinged/uncaring/genocidal terrorists/etc… that “we” don't care about Palestine or the citizens, how “we're” making a big deal about antisemitism, etc…

Then they’ll be posting all of these “news articles" or "claim that Israel is doing so and so" or post a shit ton of (i don't even know how to word this) very gory/sick/disturbing photos of injured or d*** Palestinian civilians (that may or may not be real) and write a very long ass story’s about the photos (that may or may not be true) or post very antisemitic messages/photos…

And then when “we” politely (key word- politely) correct them, or ask them to fact check, or to stop being antisemitic, or to tone it down, etc… they go fucking ballistic. The shit that I’ve seen and the comments… and they say that “we’re” the crazy, unhinged ones. What is going on in their minds?!? Just today I’ve seen quite a bit of fucked up (and very antisemitic) posts from “pro Palestine” and “anti Zionist” blogs…

Like what is going on??? Sorry if this seems super wordy but like- how does someone describe this?!? Y’all I’m just so tired and done with this crap.

(Also just a heads up but I’ve seen posts circulating around here that anti Zionist and pro Palestine people are planning on spamming the jumblr/Israel/am yisrael chai tags…)

#jumblr #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #fuck antisemitism #anti zionism = antisemitism #confused and Jewish #I’m so tired of this shit #random thoughts

44 notes · View notes

aerequets · 2 years

Text

out sick

a/n: obligatory sick fic that turned into a big heaping pile of pining and conflicted loid. i am a Sucker for a good sick fic. in that chapter in the manga where yuri suddenly falls sick, i thought yor would probably be the same way where she abruptly gets sick out of nowhere. and also i just want loid to care and simp for yor so here we are

posted on ao3

...

After eight consecutive late shifts, it seemed like Yor would be on her 9th one tonight.

Loid, Anya and Bond sat around the dinner table, Yor’s empty seat glaring despite being such a frequent occurrence as of recent. Loid had just set down the dish of food and had been hoping that, against all odds, Yor would somehow be able to make it back early tonight. But no such luck.

“I miss Mama,” Anya whined, looking at her empty seat with a frown. Dinner had been an uncharacteristically quiet affair for the past week. Talkative as she was, Anya didn’t seem keen on chattering away when her Mama wasn’t there to listen along. “I only get to see her in the mornings.”

“She’s very busy at her job,” Loid offered. It didn’t really work as consolation, not that he was expecting it to—he was also a little miffed at how City Hall seemed to be running her ragged these days. Her workload seemed to be rivalling his own, and he was a spy in an understaffed agency. Every morning she would apologetically mention yet another late shift, weary with bags under her eyes, yet she never failed to set off without a bright smile and her best wishes. He really hoped she would be able to get some rest soon.

“So many bad guys to get rid of,” Anya sighed.

“What?”

“N-nothing!” Anya hastily clambered onto her seat and snatched up her fork. “Let’s eat, I’m hungry!”

Loid relented, deciding to let her odd comment slip, and had begun to dish out some pasta for Anya when there was a telltale clinking at the door. He froze, fork in hand. Anya gasped and jumped out of her chair, running to the door with Bond close at her heels. “MAMA!”

Sure enough, the door swung open and Yor stood there, eyes bright. She laughed as Anya barreled into her legs and gave an excited Bond a pat on the head. When Loid came to the doorway, she grinned at him, cheeks flushed. “I’m home.”

Loid found himself smiling without meaning to. “Just in time for dinner. How does pasta sound?”

“Amazing,” Yor sighed as she took her coat off. He noticed her forehead was shiny.

“Is it hot out?”

“Huh? Oh.” Yor wiped her forehead and found her hand slick with sweat. “A little, I guess. I was also in a rush to get home.” She smiled again before heading inside to set her things down, Anya and Bond trailing behind.

They sat down again, this time Yor occupying her seat, and it seemed like a switch turned on within Anya. She began eagerly babbling about a hundred different topics and events in a jumbled fashion as food was dished out, only taking pause when she began to eat. Loid took her pause as an opportunity to talk.

“I’m glad your work finally let you off a little earlier,” he said. “They’ve certainly been...liberal with assigning late shifts, to say the least.”

“Oh, yes,” Yor agreed, her voice airy. “It...has to do with the recent emigrations to Westalis, I think.”

“Ah.” That made sense. Recently, especially in the last week, Ostanians had been moving to Westalis in droves. The reason wasn’t what mattered much to Loid—people would move wherever, whenever they pleased for whatever reason—but rather, the outcome. Radicals and pro-war Ostanians began spreading nationalistic rhetoric, insisting that “deserters” should be treated like traitors. Fights had broken up across the border. People were injured and killed. WISE had been looking into any particular driving force behind the surge in anti-Westalian rhetoric, but they had yet to pinpoint any one source. There were too many people making lofty claims in too little days. Yor, working in City Hall, would definitely have more on her plate. “Hopefully things calm down soon before they get any more out of control.”

Yor hummed in agreement, lifting her fork to her mouth. Her movements were slow and languid. Tiredness, perhaps? But something seemed off. Anya was blinking up at her Mama, and Bond began to whine. An unsettling pit formed in Loid’s stomach. Something was very wrong.

“Mama,” Anya started, pulling at her sleeve with a little hand, “why’s your head so slow—”

Yor’s fork clattered out of her hand and her chin dropped. If Loid hadn’t shot to his feet and caught her head in a hand, she would have faceplanted into her plate.

Her forehead was hot and sweaty under his touch. She wasn’t just flushed like usual when she’d greeted him at the door—she was burning. And her eyes, which he’d thought were just shining before, were glazed upon closer inspection.

He wanted to kick himself. All the signs had been there in his face, yet he’d failed to notice any of them right away. What kind of spy did that? What kind of husband does that?

She was sick.

“Mama is poisoned?” Anya asked frantically. He had no idea where she got that notion from. “Is she gonna die?!”

“She’ll be fine,” Loid assured her, though the feeling of her scalding forehead under his hand wasn’t helping. He needed to get her to bed. “Would you mind opening her bedroom door? I’m going to bring her in.” No sooner than he’d finished speaking had Anya shot off, dutifully heeding his words for once. He gingerly made his way around the dinner table, lifting Yor’s head before hefting her out of her seat. She was solid and still in his arms. Knowing the inhuman displays of strength she was capable of made her limp arms and shallow breathing feel even worse. He hurried to her bedroom, where Anya and Bond stood guard at the door, and laid her down.

Anya struggled onto the bed with Bond’s help and crawled over to Yor’s side. Her lip wobbled. “Papa, she’s going to be fine, right?”

“Yes. I’m a doctor, remember? We’ll make her better,” he said, ignoring the fact that his occupation was not only psychiatry, but also fake. “Wait here. I’m going to bring some things.” He left and returned with some cool water, washcloths, a thermometer, and various other items. Anya hadn’t moved from her position except to wrap an arm around Bond’s neck. She was whispering to the dog—something about telling her something?—that Loid didn’t really pick up on.

The thermometer read 38.8 degrees. Loid slipped Yor’s headband off so her bun wouldn’t get in the way of the pillows before looking at her work uniform. He wouldn’t undress her yet, just take off the outer layers and unbutton her cuffs and the top buttons of her shirt to wipe down her wrists and neck. If the fever persisted for a few more days without seeming to get better...

He’d deal with that then.

“Can you put these in the kitchen?” Loid asked Anya, handing her the tray of items. She took them gingerly, showing more caution than with anything he’d seen her handle. “And please wait outside. I’m going to take care of Yor and then come out.”

Anya looked like she wanted to argue, but after one more glance at her Mama’s still form and the tray in her hands, she gave one jerky nod before descending from the bed and running outside. Loid got to work, sliding Yor’s work vest off of her and rolling her sleeves up. It was when he was wiping her neck that he noticed it.

It was small, almost imperceptibly so. He could have even mistaken it for a mole if he hadn’t already known that Yor’s neck, ever exposed in her usual red sweater, was free of any marks. But it was there, a small, dark red spot on a slightly raised bump of skin, and he knew what it was from firsthand experience.

A track mark. Something—someone—had injected a syringe into Yor’s neck.

...

Handler appeared at his door around noon the next day. He knew why: he’d been summoned via cipher placed in the morning paper, and failed to show up at the meeting spot. She was tapping one heeled foot, arms tightly crossed, when he opened the door.

“Dr. Forger,” she greeted. Her clipped tone was one that agent recruits at WISE saw as a signal to run away. Loid couldn’t find it in himself to be scared. “I wasn’t aware you were taking a day off from work today.”

“My wife’s sick,” was all Loid offered as explanation. It was short, frankly lacking in the etiquette typically required when speaking to one’s superior, but Handler must have seen something in his face because her foot paused in its drumming and her arms loosened slightly.

“...what happened?” She peered around his frame as though she might be able to see into Yor’s bedroom. “Is she alright?”

“Better than last night,” Loid replied. He’d stayed by her side throughout most of the night, monitoring her condition. Her breathing got slightly deeper as he switched out her washcloths and her temperature went down a bit, which was good, but she hadn’t woken up once.

Though, he couldn’t have slept even if he’d tried. There was the issue of the syringe mark. Loid knew he wasn’t mistaken, and it was driving him just a little insane as he came up with countless possibilities behind it. Anya’s odd remark kept resurfacing in his mind, too. Mama is poisoned? But if so, why? How? And most importantly, who? Who dared do such a thing to Yor and expect to come out of it unscathed?

It was then that Anya slipped into the room and sidled up next to Loid, peeking out from behind his legs. “Boss la—er, are you Papa’s boss?”

An instinctive smile found its way onto Handler’s face as she squatted, waving to Anya. “Hello there. Anya, was it?”

“Yup.”

“You were right, I am your papa’s boss. I heard your mama’s sick.” Handler had a naturally soft cadence while speaking to Anya, something which would otherwise be unbelievable coming out of her mouth. “But she’ll get better soon, won’t she?”

Anya nodded fast. “Yes. Mama is strong.”

“All mamas are.” Handler patted Anya’s head before getting up. “I believe there are some patient files to be looked over. Good thing I brought them with me,” she said, while her lips mouthed the words, I know you’re busy, but let me at least brief you.

“That’s quite confidential matter to just be carrying around, is it not?” Loid asked, glancing down at Anya. How will you brief me without Anya hearing?

At that moment, Anya jumped. “Um, Papa! I want to sit with Mama. I’ll be quiet, I promise. Can I? Pleeease?”

Loid blinked. “Oh, uh, sure. Make sure not to jostle her, okay? And come tell me if anything happens.”

“Yup!” Anya saluted before running off into Yor’s bedroom. Handler watched her go with a fond expression.

“She certainly has good timing.”

“Right...” Loid said, a little bewildered. He shook his head and headed to the living room, sinking into his seat with a groan. He hadn’t realized how stiff his muscles felt. Handler followed and perched on the sofa, crossing her legs.

“I’ll get straight to the point. It’s about the border scuffles that have been happening all week,” she said in a low voice. The same issue that had overworked Yor, then.

“Did we find a source?”

“Well... it’s complicated.” Handler sighed and adjusted her skirt. “That’s what we were looking for at the start, but we ended up finding something else. Something unexpected.”

Unexpected was never good in a spy’s line of work. “What is it?”

“A lot of the bigger figures promoting a war and encouraging the border fights were killed. They had hits put on them.”

“That works out for us, though.”

“It does,” Handler agreed. “The unexpected arose when we traced all of their financial transactions and found that each one of them was secretly sponsoring the same underground research facility. So we looked into it.”

“And?”

“New forms of warfare,” she said. “Biological. New poisons, acids, gases. It seems like there’s some breakthrough scientific research happening underground to develop these kinds of things. And they’re more lethal than anything we’ve encountered before.” A frown twisted Handler’s painted lips. “We’ve connected them to whole families that were murdered because they were planning to move. All it takes is one shot to kill a fully grown adult within minutes.”

Loid felt nausea brewing in his gut. “One shot?”

“Half a milliliter, give or take.”

It might have been a stretch to connect what Handler was saying to Yor, but the situation seemed too unlikely to just be a coincidence. A typical shot administered via syringe was half a milliliter. Yor worked at City Hall, which was loosely connected to the border situation, but how would she have come in contact with someone possessing that kind of poison? And why would they give the shot to her, when she wasn’t planning on moving to Westalis? On top of all that, Handler said one shot could kill an adult within minutes, but Yor was alive, if not feverish. All the new information was making his head spin with more questions than answers. No amount of critical thinking was helping him draw conclusions—he was missing a piece to the puzzle. A big one.

Handler cocked her head. “Is something the matter?”

He knew better than to lie to his Handler. She’d trained him; she knew all of his tells. Yet when he tried opening his mouth to tell her about the syringe mark on Yor’s neck, nothing would come out. For whatever reason, he couldn’t tell her. Not when he didn’t know the missing puzzle piece himself.

“It’s just a worrying situation in general,” he said lamely. He fully expected her to flip his seat over for daring to lie, but instead, she softened again.

“Your wife will be fine,” she assured. “Don’t worry so much.”

“I-I was talking about the research!” Loid sputtered. Handler rolled her eyes.

“You’re incorrigible,” she muttered before getting up and dusting herself off. “Do keep me updated on your wife’s condition. I’m leaving now.”

Handler’s unexpected softness thoroughly unsettled him. He was on his guard ten minutes after she left, expecting her to pop in the window and clip the back of his head for insubordination. When he was sure she was gone, he began heading to Yor’s room. Just then, Anya dashed out, head wildly swinging until she saw him.

“Papa! Mama is trying to leave!” Anya cried. Loid ran into the bedroom, where Yor was staggering on her feet, trying to pull on her coat over the work clothes she’d slept in.

“Yor! You need to rest!”

She didn’t seem to hear him. With a grunt, she pulled the coat on, creases bunching up around her shoulders, and grabbed for her keys. They slid off her dresser and landed on the ground with a thump.

“Yor.” Loid stepped forward and gently grabbed her by the shoulders before she could lurch down to pick them up. “Yor, can you hear me?”

She looked up into his face, but her expression seemed far away, eyes unfocused. “I need to get to work.”

“You need to rest,” he repeated.

“I have to go,” she insisted, fighting against his hold. It was a mere iota of her usual strength, which was the only reason why Loid was able to hold onto her. “I can’t miss work.”

“You’re sick,” Loid said. He moved one hand up to her head to feel. Less hot than before, but still warm. “And it’s Saturday. Don’t worry about work and focus on getting better.”

She was still struggling. “I have to go... Yuri...” Loid’s eyes widened. “I need money for Yuri’s school.”

Oh. He knew Yor had raised Yuri from a young age. That probably meant that she had never allowed herself to rest. When was the last time she’d gotten sick? When was the last time anyone had cared for her while she was sick? Had she always tried fighting through it by herself, not letting anyone know until the last moment when her body gave up? The thought of her, young and alone and feverish, made his heart twist in a way he couldn’t quite justify. You aren’t her real husband, he reminded himself. There’s no reason to be hung up over it.

But he still brushed her hair out of her eyes, letting his hand linger on the side of her face probably longer than was strictly necessary. “Yuri is doing well,” he said softly.

She blinked, lethargic. “What?”

“Thanks to you, he graduated top of his class and has a good job now.” He slipped the wrinkled coat off of her shoulders. “You can rest, Yor. You already did everything you had to do for Yuri.”

“Everything I had to do...” She echoed. Loid’s eyes strayed unbidden to the mark on her neck. “Oh. Right. How could I forget?” With a soft laugh, she flopped back onto the mattress, arms splayed out. Within seconds, her breathing had slowed.

Anya had been peeking out from behind the doorway the whole time. “Does Mama not remember things?”

“It’s the fever. Once it dies down a little she’ll be back to her usual self,” he explained. “It seems like she’ll be up later. I’m going to go make some soup. Want to help out?”

“Ooh, yes!” Anya cheered and ran out to the kitchen. “Can I do the chopping?!”

“Absolutely not.”

...

The soup had been made a couple hours ago and sat on the stovetop to stay warm. Anya, who’d tired herself out from the very strenuous job of peeling 3 cloves of garlic, had napped, woken up, and was now watching cartoons. Loid had taken Bond for his walk before sitting down to aimlessly flip through the paper.

Yor still slept.

He glanced at the clock. It was nearing dinnertime. Maybe he’d been wrong about Yor waking up today—she’d probably be up tomorrow. They’d save the soup for her and order takeout for dinner.

It was while he was deliberating this that Anya suddenly straightened in her spot by the television and turned her head as if listening to something. Then, she shot up and ran into the kitchen.

“Anya?” The sound of the tap filling a glass reached his ears, followed by her pattering shoes. “Where are you going with that?”

She ran into Yor’s bedroom, the glass sloshing. He was just opening his mouth to chide her for running with a full glass when he pushed the bedroom door fully open and saw Yor, sitting up in bed.

“You’re awake,” he said, too surprised to say anything less obvious. Yor opened her mouth to respond but coughed instead.

“Oh, you must be parched.” He hurried forward and helped Anya deliver the glass to Yor spill free. She drank slowly and deeply until the glass was empty.

“...thank you,” she finally managed, voice a little hoarse. She smiled at Anya. “Thank you for the water.”

Anya stared at Yor for a total of one second before bursting into tears. She shoved her face into Yor’s lap, still bawling, while her parents exchanged a startled glance above her head.

“You were sleeping for so long,” Anya hiccupped. “An-and your face was always hot! I haven’t gotten to play with you in forever!”

Yor looked like she was holding back tears as she stroked Anya’s head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.” She looked up at Loid. “How long has it been?”

“Just a day. You got back after work last night and fainted during dinner.”

Yor’s eyes widened and a hand twitched. Loid thought she might have raised it to her neck. “I...I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that would happen.”

“What are you apologizing for? You’re better now, and that’s what matters.” Loid leaned forward and felt her forehead again. “How do you feel?”

“Um—ah, good,” Yor stammered. Loid thought her face was awfully red again, but she seemed clear-minded, so he slipped his hand off.

“That’s good. I made soup—”

“I helped,” Anya said, her voice muffled. She’d stopped crying.

“We made soup,” Loid amended with a smile. “Do you feel like you can eat?”

“Oh... thank you so much. Yes, I think I’ll have some,” Yor said. “Er... I’ll wash up first, though. I feel a bit gross.”

After Yor showered and changed, the family had a late dinner in her room, a tray balanced on her lap as she sat in bed. After their meal, Anya quickly began nodding off, so Loid helped her get ready for bed. It was after he was sure Anya had fallen asleep that he exited her bedroom and turned around, knocking on Yor’s door.

“Come in.”

Loid entered and quietly shut the door before sitting at the edge of the bed. “I didn’t really get to ask you before, but are you sure you’re fine? There’s some more of the painkillers I gave you before. I could also get soreness patches if—”

“I’m fine,” Yor cut in with a laugh. Her eyes, he noted with relief, were shining like usual, none of the disconcerting glaze from the night before. “You and Anya took really good care of me.” She cleared her throat. “Um, speaking of... did I say anything while I was feverish? O-or do anything?”

He looked at her neck. Her hair, damp and faintly smelling of lavender shampoo, was hanging down and covering the mark he knew was there. “Not really,” he replied. “You mentioned Yuri once, but that was it."

"Ah, okay. That's a relief." She fidgeted with the sheets, seeming like she wanted to say something more.

"What is it?"

Her fingers twisted for a few more seconds before she sighed and stopped. "It's just...I feel awful. I worried Anya and was a burden on you both."

"You were sick, not a burden," Loid said. "Everyone gets sick."

"Not me," she mumbled. He felt like he wasn't meant to hear that.

"Actually, Yor..." She looked up at him. He took a deep breath. "I noticed something while I was wiping your neck down. It looked like a mark from a needle."

Yor wore her heart on her sleeve. She was perhaps the most candid person he knew. So when the color drained from her face and her hand flitted to her neck, right where the mark was, he knew it wasn't for show. "I-I... that's..." she stammered.

It was clear from her reaction that the mark was something significant. Perhaps Loid's far-fetched conclusions were even correct, and Yor had somehow fallen on the wrong end of a syringe filled with newly developed poison. But that still didn't answer all his questions. For instance, who gave it to her. Why they gave it to her. And most importantly, what she was doing in order to be close to poisons like that in the first place.

Twilight would coax answers out of her one way or another. That was what spies did—they dug out information from every last crevice and acted as they saw best fit. Twilight would guilt her, maybe, using her urge to act as a good wife against her in order to get her to fess up. Or maybe Twilight would seduce her, tuck a maddeningly lavender-scented lock of hair behind her ear, letting his hand drop to her neck. He'd trace the syringe mark with a thumb before kissing it and whispering a request for the truth against her skin.

"You don't need to tell me," Loid said. Yor froze, eyes impossibly wide. "I won't ask if you can't tell."

"But-but how can you..."

He could finish her sentence without having to hear it. How can you trust me?

"We all have our secrets," he said. Inside his head, Twilight was banging at the walls, screaming his idiocy. He ignored that. "That includes me, too."

Yor shrunk in on herself. "But I caused so much trouble. If I... if only I'd been more careful, I wouldn't have had to drag you both into my mess."

He took one of her hands between his own. "I meant it when I said you weren't a burden, Yor," he said, his eyes flicking between both of hers. "You don't have to bear every burden alone. I..." He thought back to her in the throes of the fever, trying to stagger to work for Yuri. "I know you're strong and capable. I know you've shouldered things alone your whole life. But you're allowed to be weak sometimes—that's what family is for."

It was rich of him to be talking about what family was when he'd built this fake one for the purpose of his mission. But more and more often, he'd forget that their family was fake. More and more often, he'd find himself in moments of weakness, too. That's what family is for.

Why else was he failing to draw the truth out of Yor? Because, loathe as he was to admit, she—along with Anya—was his greatest weakness. It was the reason why he hadn't been able to tell Handler the truth about the mark on Yor's neck. Some selfish part of him knew that WISE would be able to dig up the truth and he might have to let go of Yor. He wasn't ready for that yet. He wasn't sure he ever would be.

So even though he was directly going against every principle that had been drilled into him for over a decade, he didn't ask.

"Besides," he continued, "it was in our vows, right? In sickness and in health."

That drew a watery smile out of Yor, a sight Loid gladly drank in. She looked down at their hands and he jolted, realizing he'd been holding on for way too long. But before he could pull back, she clasped his hands with her other one. In a distant corner of his mind, he noted how small her hands were compared to his.

"I want to tell you," she admitted quietly. "I can't right now, but I want to. When I tell you, would you..." she trailed off.

"I'd stay," he said without a second thought. At her shocked look, he repeated, "I'd stay, because I know the kind of person you are, Yor. Whatever it is you can't tell me, you must have a good reason."

Selfishly, he wanted to ask if she'd stay for him, too. It would be both ridiculous and hypocritical to do so because 1) he was the one planning on erasing Loid Forger once necessary, and 2) she wasn't suspicious of him in the first place. But the urge to hear her reassurance was almost overwhelming. Tell me you trust me, too. Even though I have a thousand lying faces I've told you more truths than I ever should have. Tell me you'd stay even if you knew my truth.

"It's the same for you," she said. This time his eyebrows were the ones raising in shock. "You said you have your own secrets too. But I know that whatever they are, you're still a good person."

It was then that he realized how close they were. He was perched on the edge of her bed. Their hands were clasped together, and at some point they'd leaned in far enough that he could see the shadows cast by her lashes onto her cheeks. The lavender scent was wrapping around him now, filling him up with every inhale.

He could feel himself close to doing something stupid. Like threading his hands through her dizzying lavender hair, or touching the pulse under her jaw. So he wrenched himself back with more difficulty than he'd anticipated and gestured to some used washcloths on her dresser.

"I'll—" Why was his voice so hoarse? He cleared his throat. "I'll put those away. You should rest."

"Right. Yes." She nodded so vigorously that he was afraid she'd give herself a headache. "I will. And, um, thanks for the soup. And the medicine. And, well, everything."

"Anytime," he smiled, before swiftly walking out of her room. He shook his head once he was out, taking deep breaths of—thankfully lavender free—air. That scent must have been driving him crazy.

A few days later, when Yor was feeling better (and promised a tearful Anya that she'd hold off on late shifts no matter what), Loid sent Handler a message that he was ready to get on with the mission. He found himself quite eager this time around.

He was going to give some underground researchers and whoever had used their creations pure hell.

618 notes · View notes

bhaalitsm · 1 year

Text

intro post. . .

❛ 🥩｡七情 Lumenwood Kins

⊂ dikke⠀manto₂ . she/he

; 9teen⠀. genderfluid lesbian

⠀⠀⠀⠀ freq. ! 🛢

⠀⠀ →⠀⠀⠀[O1] [O2] [O3] ◞

⠀⠀ !🪳⠀⠀⠀[O4] [O5] [O6]◞

🥀 wasian jew manhater 🏚️

╰⭔ . rentry. carrd . . 🪓

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🚬(￣▽￣*)ゞ

𐚁̸⠀⠀⠀ girlfriend . . . < 3

front :: ꩜ꖛ⏤͟͟͞͞★⤵

⠀ -fiction is my primary coping outlet, I have lots introjects or alters who appear physically as characters

discord :: umayon (just lmk ur from tumblr)

instagram :: umayoning

:readmore:

interests :: | red = special interest |

MOVIES spiderverse, Avatar, Avatar: The Way of Water, Us, Nope, Nightmare on elm street, Texas chainsaw massacre, the Saw franchise, Hellraiser, Killer Klowns from Outerspace, Bottoms, Get Out, Scream, basically all horror

SHOWS Skylanders, Game of Thrones, House of the dragon, ANY GORDON RAMSEY SHOW J LOVE GORDON RAMSEY I WATHC ALL HIS SHOWS, The Boys >>>>>

MUSIC The living tombstone, tryhardninja, jtmachinma, Reol, Walküre, Uma musume pretty derby, Dagames, Ado, most fnaf and vocaloid music, fish inside a birdcage, Atarashii Gakko,

ANIMES HxH, Chainsaw man, Uma musume pretty derby, Naruto, Macross Delta, School Live Club, Corpse Party, Ao Oni, Demon Slayer, JJBA

GAMES Uma Museum Pretty Derby, Skylanders, Puppet Combo, Bloodborne, Darkest Dungeon, Elden Ring, Dark Deception, The Quarry, Ark Survival Evolved, DBD, IDV, League of Legends, Call of Duty, Red Dead Redemption, Apex Legends, Borderlands, FNAF, Don't Starve, Pokemon, God of War, Resident Evil, Splatoon, tealerland, ao oni, My singing monsters, Attack on Time, Baldurs Gate 3, Fear and Hunger, Splatoon

YOUTUBERS CORYXKENSHIN IM HIS BIGGEST FAN IVE BEEN WITH HIM SINCE 4k SUBS!!! Manlybadasshero, astralspiff, superhorrorbro, fusionZgamer, Charborg, Bedbannanas, Lore Lodge

OTHERS Creepypasta, Missing 411, Dyatlov Pass, Korovina Group Incident, Horses, My job (haunted house,) Dinosaurs, Junji Ito, Keychains, Collecting, M&Ms, Шайлушай

變 : not really interested in engaging with syscourse though I might occasionally, I am mostly anti-endo (pro conversation), though the majority of that is due to co-opting of terminology, cultural appropriation, spreading of misinformation, overall attitude towards systems, and general redirection of resources away from trauma victims : neutrals feel free to interact, pro-endos can as well if you aren’t obnoxious about it 💊

𖧧 : endos who do not do any of the following feel free to int:: you do not use any medical system terms, do not use the word “sysmed”, are not appropriating or in support of appropriating cultures (tulpas), do not spread misinformation about DID/OSDD research, are educated on the DID/OSDD diagnostic criteria, and do not actively take sources away from trauma victims 🥩 my stance is that you do not need trauma to be plural, but you do need trauma to be a system. Me being anti-endo isn’t saying I don’t think you exist, I’m saying your plurality is not systemhood and you need to stop forcing yourselves into our spaces.

♡ Don’t call me plural, do not use plural pronouns, don’t call my alters headmates⚡️ not listing triggers, mutuals tag aggressive yelling, dog fights, and “as long as it’s consensual” phrase thank you

- Did not think I’d need to say this but proshippers dnfi, if you comment on any of my posts you’re asking for an IP reveal

83 notes · View notes

bringmemyrocks · 10 days

Text

My Review of the documentary "Israelism"

Preamble

Israelism is a documentary about American Jews learning to have solidarity with Palestinians and rejecting Zionism. It follows two American Jews as they shed their liberal Zionist upbringing. This film also includes Palestinians as educators and resistors of apartheid, not as passive victims or as “evil terrorists.” The individuals in the film and individuals I interacted with at screenings only represent themselves–Palestinians, American Jews, etc. are not monoliths. Every additional comment I make about this film will take these points as given–for the sake of brevity, I will not constantly restate them.

As with all media, it is important to separate “not for me/not intended for me” with “genuinely harmful”.

I highly recommend watching this film, especially if you’re American. It shows a lot about growing up as a liberal Zionist that I didn’t know about, and I’m an American Jew. You can rent Israelism on the film’s website for $5 (all proceeds towards free screenings) or just DM me as I have a copy.

Trailer here: https://youtu.be/bondvm3hvGM?si=F2RT1crMu1enwu7W

20-minute film preview and interview with filmmakers if you don’t have time for the film itself; it give the general vibe of the film and the filmmakers (trigger warning for description of brutality against a Palestinian teenager): https://youtu.be/GuBnzzGmH7c?si=a2jujWAL5kKCsk12

I want to acknowledge, as an anti-zionist Jew, that this film is powerful for many people while still criticizing it for pulling punches.

Reblogs off; comments/asks/DMs always welcome. Please read the entire post before commenting.

Summary

To quote a review on Letterboxd, this is "Baby's First Anti-Apartheid," in many ways.

This film follows two American Jews, both of whom are raised as liberal Zionists. Simone Zimmerman and Eitan (no last name) both grew up in relatively liberal Jewish households, but were taught to love Israel. Simone went to college and did pro-Israel advocacy there while Eitan joined the IOF, protecting West Bank settlers and doing apartheid. Both eventually came to advocate for Palestine, with Simone Zimmerman co-founding IfNotNow and Eitan joining Breaking the Silence, a group of former-IOF soldiers who speak out against Israel’s violence in the West Bank and Gaza.

This film is very frank in its description of the daily pain and humiliation that Palestinians face at the hands of Israel. It uses the term “Nakba” and readily admits to the occupation starting in 1948, not 1967, although much of this is said by the Palestinians rather than the American Jews in the film.

Eitan [no last name] and Avner Gvaryahu, founder of Breaking the Silence, both spend several minutes detailing violence they witnessed taking place against Palestinian civilians. This is upsetting to watch. Later, both former soldiers come to America to protest the US funding the IOF. Are these former soldiers redeemed? I think the film leaves that up to the viewer, although perhaps I’m being too generous. As much as I was disgusted hearing the soldiers recount what they witnessed, I did not feel forced to accept their contrition. YMMV.

Both Palestinians, of course, would have required permits from Israel to leave Palestine and neither has come to the US in the film or after as part of the screening tour. Checkpoints and permits are mentioned in the film, but the history of how they came to be is not.

Depending on your perspective, the film’s arc as a narrative rather than a historiography either tightens it by focusing on a specific perspective (American Jews unlearning liberal Zionism) or weakens it by not including more history and more Palestinian voices. Or perhaps both points are true–the film is only 80 minutes long and could have been longer, focusing on the two American Jews as well as one or both of the Palestinians as drivers of the narrative.

Palestinian participants

This film profiles two Palestinian activists, Sami Awad, founder of the Holy Land Trust, and Baha Hilo, Palestinian filmmaker and activist.

Both men do activism and advocacy in Palestine, with a lot of their focus on educating Americans. These two men are not on the J Street or other NGO payroll–I need to state this because I know some people will read this ambivalent review and assume any Palestinians who took part in the film are Sally Abed types. This is not the case. They speak frankly about the Nakba, about displacement from Palestine, not just from the West Bank, and use the word “apartheid” openly. The filmmakers have also highlighted the Palestinians’ Nakba stories separately from the film: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=403334642255595

I encourage you to follow Sami Awad and Baha Hilo on other platforms–they are both powerful activists:

linktr.ee/bahahilo

https://www.holylandtrust.org/

Depending on your perspective, you may take issue with how Israelism relies heavily on stories of Palestinian pain while still primarily focusing on American Jews. Israelism’s stories of transformation could not, would not exist without profound amounts of Palestinian suffering, yet it is an American Jewish narrative rather than a Palestinian historiography. Palestinian history is left out so that stories of personal transformation can take center stage. And some of those stories are from former IOF soldiers–your mileage may vary on how much you can stomach their stories, especially now.

This film makes it clear that Zionism is not a victimless crime, but despite the filmmakers’ statements during interviews that Palestinians are the true victims of Zionism, the film’s heavy focus on American Jews may obscure this point.

Many other figures are interviewed, including the former head of the ADL Abe Foxman, a zionist Jewish educator, a liberal zionist rabbi, an anti-zionist rabbi, the head of Breaking the Silence, an Israel on Campus fellow, as well as scholars-cum-public intellectuals Noam Chomsky, Cornel West, and journalist Peter Beinart. As zionist indoctrination of liberal Jews is the film’s primary focus, most of those interviewed are Jewish Americans, and the zionists interviewed are liberal zionists rather than those who are more openly right-wing.

This film constantly contrasts the Jewish youth group, summer camp, and birthright experiences that indoctrinate American Jews with the brutality that the IOF enacts on Palestinians. It doesn’t let viewers forget the human cost of Zionism, although most of the humans portrayed on camera are white American Jews.

This film also does not touch on the different indoctrination that orthodox/religious zionist Jews go through. As a result, this film will not help viewers understand how today’s West Bank settlers came to be or how liberal zionists are similar to them in many ways, but it will explain why people go on birthright and why supposed “liberals” join the IOF.

Israelism is not a “both sides” film; it does not leave you with any doubt as to whether Palestinians deserve the right of return and a life free from Apartheid rule. Maybe that’s the bare minimum, but it’s more than what you get from 99% of mainstream western media. Not a single person I know who watched this film left with a good impression of Zionism. One student activist who had not seen it asked me if the film “lets Zionists advocate for their side” and I emphatically said no–in my opinion, the Zionists come off looking really bad, both in their own words and in those of the narrative leads, Simone and Eitan. Even if Palestinians are not centered, Israelism still portrays Zionism as a racist movement that should be opposed, and that’s a big deal, even if it doesn’t seem that way in my activist bubble.

Left wing criticism

I looked high and low for leftist or Palestinian criticism of this film, perhaps because I am holding Israelism or its creators to an unfair standard. I found almost nothing, at least in English. Ali Abunimah has better uses for his time than watching this documentary. Al Jazeera just posted an interview with the filmmakers today (4/21/2024) but it's not a review per se. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi6vpLPKnk0 the filmmakers note that they wish they'd included more on Gaza in the film. Otherwise it's a very softballed interview.

I wrote this review before the AJ piece came out--bear that in mind as you read it.

One categorically false claim which I need to dispense with before delving any deeper is the idea that the filmmakers are getting rich off this film/off the pain of Palestinians. Most screenings are free, and screenings which charge money give the proceeds back to the organizers (usually students) to recoup costs or to donate to charity. This film was supposed to be released on a streaming service, but that fell through after 10/7. The $5 rental fee on the site also goes towards hosting screenings, not to the filmmakers or to Tikkun Olam Productions. Moreover, documentary films in general tend to lose money, so coupled with the collapse of the streaming deal, the filmmakers are probably losing a great deal of money.

When these false ideas come up online, Palestinians and other users are quick to correct them.

Both in my own IRL experiences and from what I’ve found online, many screenings of Israelism have heavy Palestinian involvement. This particular screening in NYC had a Palestinian woman from Gaza speak: https://www.instagram.com/p/C44hDa7MqEg/?img_index=1

Most of the reviews on letterboxd are positive, with most criticism focusing on the following issues. (I do recommend clicking through the reviews if you have the time.)

The film does not go into great detail about Palestinian history

The film only has two Palestinian subjects

The film centers the American Jewish narrative

Less common, but: the film is not an academic historiographic deep dive into settler colonialism

Not mentioned in any reviews I saw, but still worth noting: there is virtually no mention of Gaza in this film.

All but a few such reviews that mentioned these criticisms still gave the film at least 3 stars. Here are some excerpts from a few reviews that stood out to me–unfortunately impossible to determine posters’ demographics:

“Israelism is not a comprehensive documentary; it provides no broad background on the conflict. It requires viewers to have, at least, a general understanding of the decades-long feud (a tall order, considering the complexity of the subject). It also depicts the young American-Jewish community as monolithic, a product of singular experience and background. Yet, what is crucial here, is that none of these criticisms dilute the most salient points of the documentary.

In the face of rising white nationalism, the way we talk about anti-semitism isn't about protecting Jews, it’s about protecting Israel. How dangerous is that?”

“Watched with the SVA ISU & SJP. Flawed by nature of only being 80 minutes and not ten hours. Much conversation came out of this film. How great a look into Israeli indoctrination this is (the culture I was I doctored into as a young Jew) and how generational trauma is inherited. Also a problematic film in that it waters down the history and the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people. Should a film like this be an easy pill to swallow? Should it cater or be direct. At the end of the day it is successful in one core element: creating a conversation”

“If it’s a not a movie centering Palestinian voices, I truly dgaf what it has to say about Palestine.”

“Essential viewing for Zionists and radlibs alike.” (5 stars)

“Baby’s first anti apartheid.” (The source of my title, Oli, March 16, 2024)

“Potentially a good introduction to the occupation, but centred white Jews in the Palestinian struggle with very little analysis of what’s actually at stake for Palestinians. Liberalism at best. Misplaced power analysis."

"Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸”

“While I understand why people thought this doc was too surface level, it was great introduction to the perspective of anti-Zionist (American) Jews. 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸”

“baby’s first exposure to zionism; in no means a good enough piece of media to learn yourself about the subject unless you’re a biden dem who religiously reads the nytimes. ifnotnow and jvp are forces for good, read khalidi, pappe, and palestinians voices”

“Ok, but it breaks my ‘don’t have The Young Turks in your documentary’ rule.”

“Pretty middle-of-the-road, focuses too heavily on a neoliberal unearthing for the privileged white Jews of America. However, important in the right spaces, and if it gets people looking more critically, then it’s done what it needs to.”

“This is an incredibly important resource in shifting minds that have been poisoned by Israeli propaganda. Not particularly radical but a gentle introduction for those on the precipice of transformation.”

I also went to (English-language subreddit) r/Palestine and searched “Israelism”. R/Palestine is not a liberal, standing-together-style sub. R/Palestine’s responses to this film have been positive: they are interested and shocked to learn the fascism that most Jews are taught from a young age. See threads (1, 2, 3)

Some excerpts (I genuinely could not find anything negative about this film in English from Palestinians on Reddit) All of these comments were made after October 7, and every single one was positive.

“The ADL shut down several viewings of this documentary [at] impressive American colleges. We can't let them.”

“I've watched it twice already, and it confirms everything the evidence has pointed to for so long. I think Zionism as an ideology will be remembered the way Nazism is today, the fact they exploited the events of the Holocaust as an excuse to bomb people is just disgusting. The ADL considers Simone Zimmerman a self-hating Jew/Antisemite just because she wants dignity for Palestinians, and this goes to show how Zionists really feel about Jews. This is definitely a must watch.”

“Came to this thread because I just watched it last night, my mind is blown. I was screaming at so many parts because the indoctrination is truly insane. I knew that the brainwashing went deep, but I had no idea how deep it really goes.”

[After someone mentions pirating it to watch it, another user says] “Let’s go watch it and pay this time; we need to support those heroes.”

“Rent it out and/or donate. Let your friends know. Let the world know.”

“I paid for a former Zionist waffling after Many, many hours of conversation and it was the final nail on the coffin. They now want a free Palestine 🥲”

Perhaps those Palestinians who detest anything about Palestine that centers Jews or deconstructing Zionism are simply giving this film a wide berth or are not having these discussions in English. But without any evidence to the contrary, I have to take this near-absence of serious criticism at face value (especially since the people who encouraged me to make this review won’t come off anon and tell me what they think!)

Some of the criticism on Letterboxd boils down to the idea that documentaries on Zionism should not center Jewish voices, but should center Palestinians instead. Others counter this idea and say that it’s fine for one film to focus on Jewish deconstruction of Zionism. I have no way of telling which users on Letterboxd or Reddit are Palestinians, which are white Maoists, which are bots writing with ChatGPT. Assuming everyone I quoted is genuine, the consensus of the positive voices was that a film on American Jews and Zionism is important, and the critics generally agreed that there should have been a greater emphasis on Palestinian voices and the history of settler colonialism.

Screenings

I attended two separate screenings of the film. The first was organized by Holy Land Voices, a largely white Christian progressive org that screens documentaries about Palestine and hosts virtual talks with filmmakers. This screening was virtual, primarily older progressive white Americans, and included a talk with filmmakers afterwards.

Learn more about Holy Land Voices and watch their discussion of Israelism here: https://www.voicesfromtheholyland.org/salonrecordings

The second screening was organized by local Palestinian and Arab students. Cops were everywhere, and a very diverse group of people (including some zionist agitators) showed up. There was a long, largely fruitful discussion with one of the filmmakers afterward. Most of the Palestinian students I talked to about this film were glad they watched it, although some hoped for more of a Palestinian voice in the film, which was lacking. Not a single person at either screening thought the film was zionist. Thezionist agitator said he found the film offensive.

At both screenings, the audience left wanting to know more about Palestine. Not a single person I spoke with (and I spoke with many) left wanting to “learn more about the Zionist perspective” or even to learn more about the zionist indoctrination of American Jews. It opened virtually the same door for every non-Palestinian in the audience: they wanted to learn more about Palestine and Palestinians.

This is something I want to highlight:

Screening Israelism not only sparks people’s interest in the Palestinian narrative, but it’s a foot in the door for activists. It’s easier to convince a dean to screen Israelism than to screen Gaza Fights for Freedom, but once you actually screen Israelism, the dean will be more open to screening the second film, with the bonus that Israelism made the non-Palestinian audience want to learn more about Palestine. So even if you think Israelism is milquetoast (as I sometimes do), it gives you a better shot at screening a film you actually like on campus. Your mileage may vary.

Audience

One can debate the morality of a film made by and for western progressives, which premiered before October 7 but has been screening nationwide ever since. I partially reconciled this by viewing the film as a tool, a tool which isn’t useful everywhere and which I don’t personally want to use myself, but which educates American liberals and progressives and which has doubtlessly caused liberal zionists to question their politics if not abandon them altogether.

I recognize that this film was not made for me, nor was it made for the leftists of Instagram and Tumblr–we either dispensed with Zionism long ago, or we never were Zionists in the first place. I sympathize far more with Palestinians than I do with anyone who has served in the IOF, and so I got less out of the film as a result. The same is likely true for most people reading this review.

But that is not enough to make me condemn this film, or even to not recommend it.

Vibes

I spoke with one of the filmmakers 1:1 for a while after the second screening. They were very pleasant, but kept mispronouncing Baha Hilo’s first name, pronouncing it like “Baja California.” (The name Baha has emphasis on the second syllable–not automatic, but easy enough for an American to learn.) I was disturbed that this person had worked with Baha for years but still did not pronounce his name properly. This was not the first time I met a white American who made errors like this even after months or years of correction. How much it actually means is anyone’s guess, but I’m still thinking about it months after the fact.

It left a bad taste in my mouth. It still does.

Personal reflection

Initially I was going to conclude my review with that episode, that one unnamed filmmaker mispronouncing a Palestinian’s name for five minutes, but today I reexamined that impulse. Perhaps my own righteous indignation at the filmmaker says more about me than it does about them. It resembles the anger I have seen among (mostly young, white) American Jews who are outraged at even anti-Zionist orgs like BDS for not vocally supporting armed resistance (JVP does not oppose armed resistance, although a lot of people think they do). At a certain point we anti-Zionist Jews have to ask ourselves whether we are projecting our own emotional baggage onto activists who are making a larger impact than we ever will. Are we really that angry about Israelism, or is this about something more?

After all, I’m a very opinionated man, I’m pushing 30, I’m blocked by half of this website, and I still had to go to Letterboxd and Reddit to validate the feelings I already had about this film: it was good but also not enough, but also how could it ever be enough, especially now?

Perhaps it speaks to a larger issue I have in which I hold the American Jewish community to my own standards rather than those set by the larger Palestinian solidarity movement in the USA (BDS, SJP, PYM, etc.) Proper Arabic is not necessary for an American Jew who travels to Palestine to show solidarity during the olive harvest, although attempting to pronounce someone’s name correctly shows respect. This filmmaker spent five minutes reassuring me that the Palestinian participants, Sami and Baha, were not being targeted as normalizers, but still did not pronounce Baha’s name correctly.

But perhaps I’m just thinking that I would have pronounced Baha’s name correctly, I would have focused more on Palestinian perspectives–why wasn’t this filmmaker more like me?

This is not to say I was wrong to want this film to be more than it was, or that I was wrong to chafe at this white person’s pronouncing “Baha” as “Baja.” But I think it speaks to something larger, something uglier and harder to confront.

Perhaps we angry Jews of conscience, like children who endure abuse at home and take it out on our friends at school, are lashing out about this film and the anti-Zionist Jewish communities it represents because we have no other safe outlet for our anger and our pain. We see the slaughter of tens of thousands and want to lash out at a target that is sympathetic to us–calling Joe Biden a murderer does nothing, but for a few moments, it feels good to shout that at other anti-Zionist Jews.

We call Simone Zimmerman and her peers “normalizers” for not being radical enough, we lash out at JVP for charging shipping costs on their T shirts, and we shout at Israelism “you are not doing enough!” because it’s too hard to admit that that is true of us.

Other film recs about Palestine: https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2023/10/16/ten-films-to-watch-about-the-history-of-the-israel-palestine-conflict

#israelism #anti zionism #zionism #i #judaism #I sat on this for so long that Al Jazeera finally did an interview with the filmmakers RIP me

11 notes · View notes