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brigdh · 7 months

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I want to talk about Izzy's rant to Ed in episode 10, the one that brings out the Kraken. I've seen a lot of different descriptions of what is going on in this scene – death threat, homophobic slurs, etc – and I don't think either of those are what's actually what's happening.

Let's look at it closely, line by line, and the way Ed reacts, from the very beginning of the scene.

Ed: Well, feels nice to tidy up a little. Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz? Izzy? Izzy: I'm going to speak plainly. Ed: Wonderful. You know we share our thoughts on this ship.

Izzy, cont: This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death.

Okay. So there we've got what some have interpreted as a death threat. But does Ed seem threatened? He's startled, certainly, put on his back foot – literally – but he doesn't look afraid or alarmed to me. He draws in a slow breath, assessing the situation, but overall seems more confused than frightened.

In fact he laughs it off with his next line:

Izzy then escalates the level of aggression in the conversation:

But Ed, again, looks more confused than anything. Check out that furrowed brow, that head tilt! This is a man going "what is your deal?", not a man thinking "uh-oh, you might kill me!".

Extremely noticeably, even when Izzy storms right up into his face, Ed holds steady. He doesn't run, doesn't lean back, doesn't hunch his shoulders or drop eye contact – there is no vulnerability or defensiveness in Ed's body language at all. Ed is in supreme control of this confrontation – look at the slow way he deigns to turn back to the paper Izzy's holding! As though he's making the point that he chooses when to turn, not Izzy:

Then we have the "homophobic slur". But watch closely:

Ed does not react to "namby-pamby", "silk gown", or "pining" at all. He doesn't even blink. He barely seems like he's hearing Izzy. His entire attention is on the picture.

Ed's body language and behavior changes at one word and one word only, and that is "boyfriend". As soon as Izzy says it, Ed's furious:

(It's even easier to notice when you actually watch the scene instead of using gifs, because Izzy really draws out 'piiiiiiining', putting a lot of time between the first half of the sentence and 'boyfriend'.)

Why is the use of the word 'boyfriend' so important?

Well, what has Ed been doing all episode? He's been crying in a blanket fort and singing sad songs, yes, but he's been keeping a careful level of mystique about why he's doing it. Ed often uses distanced circumlocutions instead of directly acknowledging his emotions, but he's doing it in this episode even more so than usual:

Here are the lyrics to his song:

(Version one, with Lucius) Hanging on By a thread Hanging on Shouldn't let go If I let go, all will fall Fingers bleeding down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold... on

(Version two, performed for the whole crew) Just let go Make yourself let go Make it go away Away, away today Life's a hard sad death And then you're Deaaad

Notice something? There is no mention of Stede, or love, or break-ups, or abandonments, or relationships in general. All Ed discusses is a vague life-sucks attitude, which could apply to basically anyone under any circumstances. He seems pretty okay with people knowing that Blackbeard is having some sort of weird emotional breakdown as long as he convinces himself that no one knows it's specifically from having his heart broken

This is true of everything Ed says and does for this entire episode. He never once even mentions Stede's name, unless "Farewell, Bonnet's playthings" at the very end counts. The only thing Ed openly admits to feeling bad about is a fictional character who's having a hard time "holding on" (holding on to what? he never says). There are no allusions to heartbreak or romance anywhere in his dialogue.

Now, Ed's not stupid. I'm sure he knows Izzy and Lucius and the rest of the crew can connect the dots and realize that something bad happened with Stede, even if Ed doesn't fill them in on the details. But Ed is also traumatized, and has a whole host of coping mechanisms set up to help him avoiding thinking about things that he doesn't want to think about. If he's not a murderer because "technically the fire killed those guys", then no one knows he's heartbroken because technically he hasn't acknowledged it.

Until Izzy says the word 'boyfriend'. Suddenly the secret is out, and Ed can't handle it. Izzy knows his weakness. That's why this word effects Ed more than anything else Izzy says in the whole scene.

At the end of the confrontation, he hears the crew calling for another song. Look at Ed here. He looks as haunted, as disturbed, in this moment as he does at any point in Izzy's rant.

This is an important part of the scene, not just a closing note. Because if Izzy (the Caribbean's most emotionally constipated man) can see through him, obviously the whole crew can too.

Obviously Lucius – who advised Ed on his and Stede's relationship, who played along with Ed's 'fictional character' claim, who wrote down Ed's lyrics – can do so most of all.

There's a direct emotional logic to Ed killing Lucius because he had a fight with Izzy, and it doesn't involve Ed having been threatened or hate crime'd at all. Ed doesn't deal well with his own feelings (from Stede), so he chooses to become Blackbeard/the Kraken and gets rid of all the witnesses who saw otherwise.

#meta #our flag means death #I've been thinking about writing this up for a while but finally got motivated to finish it before S2

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olderthannetfic · 4 months

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fandom social justice history anon here - aaah, thank you, early fandom being dominated by academics definitely connected the dots I was missing, thank you! Yeah, now looking at it with this in mind, it's pretty obvious how the tone of the meta essays from that era, while often snarky or even outraged, definitely sounds more like the tone of people who are used to passionately arguing in a setting that doesn't allow you to just throw whatever ad hominem accusation at your opponent's head. In contrast, tumblr's (and as a result, twitter's and tiktok's) style of fandom drama now reads to me even more blatantly like a catfight between high schoolers who have just recently learned some Big Words they only care to use as ammunition. I've read multiple older fans (including your invaluably informative blog) talking about how tumblr definitely reshaped fandom and brought in a TON of new people, and how slash was far from the "mainstream" of fandom even in the livejournal-ffn.net days, and I'm having a feeling that, for all the imperfections of this first tumblr generation of fans' activism ("let my gays marry" etc etc) the thing that got slash to be "mainstreamed" within fandom the way it currently is, also has to do with this pretty sizeable influx of new fans being mostly teenagers. As in specifically, overwhelmingly teenage girls who were having their first sparks of interest in romance during the height of the "I'm not like other girls" era + everyone shitting on twilight & "girly" musicians, because if you look at the posts from that period, they often contrast being a slash reader with being the slutty partying "other girl" or annoying hipster & at my school too slash kind of spread as a "not like the other girls" alternative to mainstream romance. Yes, not the healthiest attitude either, and it's good we've mostly grown past that, but like I said, there's a good chance that was what buffed up the numbers of slash fans to the point where today people are surprised fandom ever even was hostile to it, and at least in my environment, fandom activism, for all its flaws, was most people's first exposure to any sort of "-rights" activism at all. But (as is probably obvious) I did not experience most of even that era personally (I joined tumblr fandom in 2014). Anyways, excuse the rambling, if you feel like adding anything to confirm or deny my hypothesis, I greatly appreciate it, and I hope you have a nice day/evening!

M/M still isn't mainstream in plenty of fandom contexts, just not the ones I hang out in, and "not like the other girls" of the type you describe was already big in the 90s among people who'd heard of fanfic. It's just that fanfic was harder to stumble across overall.

I think the two biggest factors are the changing attitudes towards gayness in mainstream culture in a number of countries and... well... AO3 getting popular.

FFN was the big place in the past, though not for my crowd. Now, AO3 is taking a massive bite out of not only its market share but now, in the last few years, Wattpad's.

When the visible institution around which fanfic revolves puts filtering out het front and center, it sends a strong message that previous fandom platforms did not. You had your m/m-only archives and your f/f-only archives and your places that let you filter for those but that treated het as an unmarked default.

Look at early discussions of AO3. There's an undercurrent there that we all assumed it would be one of a number of archives and that we didn't expect it to get this big.

Nobody could have foreseen the Het-Is-Eternal-Default Wattpad crowd being forced by their own platform's suckitude to come camp on the thing built by slashers. Now, we are the admins and they are the also-tolerated. That never happened before.

The thing that makes people not report gay hand holding as evil porn that must be eradicated is simply AO3 putting its foot down.

Anyone who thinks that virulent slash hate is gone just hasn't looked at other spaces.

This is not about individual fans behaving better: it is about institutional power.

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 16 days

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Closed Position: Extra

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist

Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

I haven't done any writing on Closed Position this week. I know! I'm sorry. There were a few details I was still thinking through that happen later on and I wanted to be sure I was on the right path to get us there. However, I have been working to nail down those details and fill in my outline with the important stuff. I think I have a pretty solid path set at this point, so I feel a little more confident going forward with writing.

Since I don't have any snippets to offer this week, I bring you a mood board of things to come. Each image represents an event that aligns with some part of the plot.

👉🏻 It’s time to start throwing out your conspiracy theories based on the mood board! Let me have them!

Behind the Scenes

In addition to working on my outline, I've also been doing A LOT of research, as I always do. That includes details on hotels and prep/filming schedules for tv shows to really nail down the 'behind the scenes' aspect of things. I'm even making song choices for Dieter & Kat’s performances based on the beat count required for each dance.

Believe it or not, these types of details do help form the plot of the story. Sometimes those small details will spark an idea for putting the characters in situations I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. While it does seem a little crazy to do, it does actually help me in writing...but it does make me a little slow sometimes. 😬

So what have I researched this week? Here is a running list...that may offer some hints of what's to come:

Flight Times

Directions & travel times

Hotels in NYC (that meet certain criteria)

Rehearsal/filming schedule for a certain show that's filmed at 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

Kinesiology and Physiotherapy

Hydrotherapy and Electrotherapy

Alcohol and Drug Recovery

Codependency/Relationships in Recovery

Dance positions, counts, terminology, etc.

What have I recently watched for research?

Dirty Dancing (I hope you’re ready for some references and jokes… because nobody puts Bravo in a corner.) 😉

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Take the Lead

Dance with Me

Lots of Dancing with the Stars videos on YouTube and the last two seasons that are currently available on Disney+.

A shit ton of instructional videos for ballroom dance.

That all seems very random, doesn't it? This makes me wish I would have done this for Destiny & Deliverance, because that would have been wild research topic list. 🤭

No ETA on the next chapter, but I can say it’s probably going to be another long one since I am doing it by the show ‘week’. Some weeks there is a lot to squeeze in. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Until next time,

💜Mysty

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

CP Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held @gwendibleywrites @senorabond

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #dancing dieter #soft dieter #sober dieter #closed position extra #closed position series

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ckret2 · 2 months

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this is a little bit of a bizarre question but the way you manage to “flesh out” characters while keeping them consistent is really remarkable to me!

I’m having a lot of trouble making characters feel less ‘one-dimensional’ (especially female characters…It’s like my mind just draws a blank)

I understand it helps that most of the characters you’re writing have pre established personalities, aesthetics, etc. but I still feel like you manage to make the characters your own in a believable way.

do you have any advice for someone with this issue? if not, just know that I’m really really loving Bill-Goldilocks-Cipher and always look forward to the next chapter!!!

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

But more serious answer:

Advice #1: Just take whatever you already know about the character and dig dig dig dig dig.

Take Wendy. She's the cool girl. Her character concept when she was designed was The Cool Girl. She's such a cool girl that by the end of the series she's symbolically represented by a bag of ice. She also says in one episode that she's NOT laid back, she's stressed all the time, because of her family.

Why is a 24/7 stressed teenager trying to give off an air of being cool and chill? Why did she start? What's she getting out of it? Why does she feel the pressure to maintain that facade? If she's so stressed, what's going on inside her head when she interacts with people? Her friends? Her boss? In one episode, she responds to both a request to hang out at a carnival and a request to start a romantic relationship with "yeah, I guess so." It's so passive. Why's she so passive in her relationships? Especially when she's so outwardly tough and assertive? What's the source of this side of her that just goes along with what other people suggest with seemingly no interest of her own—again, including a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? How does this relate to her being the "cool girl"? How does this relate to her deliberate decision to portray herself as "the cool girl"? In one episode she gets a scrape and the FIRST THING she does is forcefully tell Dipper NOT to freak out—why is her priority hastening to reassure the people around her before taking care of herself? She's got three younger brothers—is that how she interacts with them? Is one of them scared of blood? Does she see Dipper like one of her little brothers? Elder sisters often get handed the responsibility to act like mini-moms at young ages—did that happen to Wendy? Her mom is GONE, did that INCREASE the pressure on her? Is that why her family stresses her? What's it like in that house? Being pushed into acting like a mini-mom is a very traditionally feminine role—nurturing—which is at odds with Wendy's kinda soft butch presentation and way of speaking/acting—but is it at odds with Wendy's overall behavior? Following along with what the guys do rather than deciding for herself, passively accepting romantic propositions rather than pursuing someone she actually wants? Is she comfortable in those roles or does she feel pushed into them? Does it grate at her? Does she ever want to act assertive rather than just appear like an assertive person? Why do we never see her "we're WOMEN and we TAKE WHAT WE WANT" side more than once—and is it significant that she only pulls that out when there aren't any guys around? Does being the cool girl—supportive, accepting, nurturing, passive—chafe at her? Why's she do it?

Just keep digging. Overanalyze those tiny character details. Tie them together. Become the "I've connected the two dots" "You didn't connect shit" "I've connected them" meme. You can, will, and must connect the two dots. Treat every character like a mystery to figure out.

But your starting point is always whatever you already know about the character. You're building off of that foundation. You throw NOTHING out the window, buster—EVERY detail is important. You're not just wholesale making shit up—you're extrapolating wildly from whatever you already have. Making shit up always feels unanchored and vague. I said in an ask a few days ago that I headcanon Wendy likes that "stomp clap hey" hipster music genre. I didn't grab that randomly. I grabbed it because when we see her bedroom, she's got a poster with a banjo on it; she's super stoked to go to the Woodstick festival, and when she shows some of the featured indie bands to Dipper she focuses on two of the hipsteriest-sounding ("Scarves Indoors," "Wood Grain on Everything") and the apparent headlining band is the Handlebar Bros (just look at them); and she desperately wants to move to Portland, which in 2012 was the hipster capitol of North America—that's the culture she wants to escape to. No making shit up!! BUILD OFF WHAT YOU HAVE.

And Advice #2: you're telling a story, here. You have a plotline. Shape your characters to serve the story you're telling. What kind of a story are you telling? I'm telling a story about the destructive consequences of being a "special" kid—gifted kids, child celebrities, pageant kids, kids pushed to fill adult roles too young—the perfectionism, the burnout, the fear that anything short of excellence is insufficiency, the need for external validation, seeking love through fame rather than intimacy. When I'm looking at shallow characters and seeing how to fit them into the story, I'm prodding at them to see whether anything we know about them holds the potential to comment on themes like that—and then, if they do, that gives me an direction to dig in that already personally fascinates me, because it helps me weave this character into the story I already want to tell. If a character doesn't inherently carry any of those themes—then what can I do with the contrast between this character and the others?

And then, sometimes, I'm telling a story about two guys getting hunted down by a tooth fairy that desperately wants to steal one's teeth and a dentist that's willing to do anything she says but not motivated to furiously avenge her when she's defeated. Now I've got to make up two characters completely from scratch, BUT I don't have to make them up aimlessly. I already know the exact shapes they need to be fill their assigned positions in the story—I know what they need to do to make the story work—and now I can build them from the edges in, to make them the kinds of people they need to be to perform the actions I want to serve the plot they're in. And from there I can build them just like any character—I take the things they need to be, the things I already know about them (the dentist obeys the fairy but doesn't want to avenge her) and I dig dig dig (why would he not want to avenge her if he's so obedient? Does he obey her out of obligation but not true loyalty? Why? What kind of a person does this make him?)

And the tl;dr of all of that advice is:

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

#anonymous #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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luvliewriting · 1 year

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Their Love Language

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Imagine: What is their love lanuage?

Warnings: none

Note: did I miss a character you like? Feel free to request for me to do a part 2 for your favourites

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Arthur Morgan

Giving Gifts

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this man loves giving any kind of gift to those he cares for. Whether it's a simple pebble he thought looked nice or the latest pocketwatch, just to be able to see the bright smile on your face when you receive these gifts is enough for him. This man is such a giver, anything he sees he'll grab just so you can give it to you and tell you that he thought of you. You have a "little" collection of all the stuff that Arthur has gotten you; pretty rocks, feathers, cigarette cars, shiny coins, etc. The list never ends. Anything that lets him see that beautiful smile on your face is enough for him.

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Dutch Van Der Linde

Physical Touch

It's no secret that Dutch is a hands-on kind of guy, I mean hell he'll praise the ground you walk on in front of everyone, zero shame. Is the camp partying after a successful job? Sure as hell he's got an arm around your waist, maybe a kiss on your neck or two. He will happily swing you around in his arms in camp to his gramophone, anything that allows him to be physically connected to you is perfect for Dutch. His favourite though is early mornings in his cot with you curled up in his chest, your arm draped over his chest as he gets to pick up your wrist and leave a small kiss to it.

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Hosea Matthews

Quality Time

Hosea isn't a material kind of guy, he doesn't want gifts or anything like that. A simple horse ride with you is enough for him, he likes just being in your prescense. He's a simple guy, anything that allows it just be you and him is just perfect. Whether it be going to a nice viewing spot so he can read to you while you lay your head on his lap or fishing at sunrise with him. He enjoy spending time with you, even if its in complete silence and you two aren't doing anything, just the fact he gets to enjoy your company is enough to make him feel like a young man again.

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John Marston

Acts Of Service

I'm gonna be blunt, John isn't the most romantic guy alive. He'll put an effort sure but don't be surprised if he's not exactly prince charming. He does his best to be your dream man even when he feels like he's lacking so he's started taking up your chores around camp and asking if you had anything you needed or done. You didn't think much of it at first, you thought he was just doing a nice thing for you until you realised this was how he was showing his love for you. Don't get me wrong, John will do his best to be romantic physically don't worry, but he also enjoys getting to see you relax after a hard day not having to focus on any of your chores because he's already done them all for you

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Javier Escuella

Quality Time

Javier is much like Hosea when it comes to showing his love and care for you, he doesn't want anything physical. I mean if you get him gifts and stuff, he's not gonna turn his nose up at it but he's more just enjoying you being there with him. Especially when he gets to play his guitar just for you? Oh the man will just melt. He has songs that he wrote that only you will ever hear, it's all the more romantic when he finds you humming one of them to yourself while you're doing your chores around camp. He enjoys being around his hermosa more than anything else in the world

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Charles Smith

Words Of Affirmation

Sure Charles is a very private guy, it's not that he's embaressed about you; far from it, he's absolutely infatuated with you! When it's just you two, he'll shower you in compliments and words of affections when he dots your skin in kisses. If you ever feel self consious, he's the first to be on his knees complimenting and pointing out every little thing that he loves about you, how your blessed by the great spirit itself. Charles isn't exactly the same way in front of the rest of the camp (unless it's Arthur), he'll compliment you but he won't be as gushy, mainly just to avoid either of you getting teased or rude comments towards you by people like Micah who aren't exactly the most native respecting people.

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Sadie Adler

Acts Of Service

We all know that Sadie is a blunt woman as well as not exactly hands on with people. Sure if you just need to be held, she's happy to provide her arms as your support but she won't just randomly grab onto you. Not that she doesn't love you, she loves you more than anything but she's just not like that you know? Instead much like John, she'll start taking up jobs for you. She most likely won't be doing your chores around camp since she believes those should be shared between you two but if you just need someone to vent to than she'll sit down and let you vent, scream, cry, anything you need. If you're too shy to go order a drink for example, she'll step up and get you a drink (not that you're paying because she refuses to let you ever pay for anything)

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Sean MacGuire

Physical Touch

If he can have his hands on you he will. Especially around camp just to rub it in everyone's faces, he loves to show you off and will be your official hype man. His favourite thing is having you in his lap while he drinks and chats with his friends, placing a kiss every now and again to your shoulder. No one in camp is really tired of it, hey it gets Sean off of their backs since he's always following you around like a little puppy who got lost, your hand almost always in his. He can't sleep anymore unless you're with him, so if he's off on a long job or you're away from camp for a while, than guess what? Sean isn't sleeping and that's just a fact. He will pout like a child till he can see you again and have you back in his arms.

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Josiah Trelawny

Receiving Gifts

Josiah is gone for many days at a time, you rarely ever know where he is. So when he would be gone on these week long no contact days, you started writing letters with little gifts attached to them such as pressed flowers or a shiny pebble or a card you found that you thought he'd like. You never knew where to send these letters, you just dropped them off at the post office asking if they ever saw Josiah that he was to earn these letters. You never knew exactly how he ever got these letters but everytime he returned, he had your gifts with him. He carried most of them around on his horse Silver Dollar along with a photo of you two, just as a reminder what he would be returning to when he came back to the camp.

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Bill Williamson

Physical Touch

Bill is a big guy, so even if you're a big person, he will still love to crush you in his arms. He loves how he can just envelope you regardless of your size, plus he loves how safe he can make you feel in his arms. Nothing can get you while he's around, he won't ever let anything happen to you. He most likely won't do anything in front of other members of the gang because he's just more of a private guy. When it's just you and him though? He'll pick you up, he'll be loving up on you in his arms, anything that allows him to make you feel safe and loved in his hold.

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Thank you for reading, please like and reblog as it really does help me out

Taglist: @margofiore

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starbylers · 11 months

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Can we talk about how Mike ‘not being able to say he loves El because he’s scared she won’t need him one day’ makes no sense when you consider that for Mike this conflict spans two whole seasons, and there needs to be a consistent character motivation throughout.

Mike struggling to tell El he loves her has been, on the surface, his main conflict since s3.

In season 3, after blurting out he loves El, Mike brings it up again at the store. He tries desperately to get his point across, to make El understand ('I've never felt like this before', 'blank makes you crazy, like the word'). But no-one can deny that in this scene Mike is doing everything he can to avoid actually saying love. Now, what is the Mlvn excuse for this again? 'He's not good at expressing his emotions’. That's their running narrative post s3. (Let's ignore how that's not even canonically true of Mike's character and continue).

We come to season 4, and Mike is still chronically unable to use the word love, even when speaking about El and not to her. (Like this is clearly a deeply ingrained thing but I digress). Pre vol. 2, the Mlvn excuses are still related to Mike basically being emotionally unintelligent (his parents, his age, blah blah). But when Mike himself finally reveals the big reason, it's...'I didn't want to tell you I loved you because I was scared you won't need me one day'? Okay. Theoretically, out of context, that could make sense. So this becomes the new Mlvn narrative.

Here's the problem: both of these things cannot be the root cause of the same issue. It's one or the other: either he can’t say he loves her because he’s bad at expressing feelings, or he’s scared El one day not needing him would hurt more. This two-season dilemma is part of one series-long character arc for Mike. Mike in s4 is the same person with the same struggles as Mike in s3. Whatever his motivation for avoiding it in s3 (which was never addressed, it’s not like we got closure for that and then they just came up with a new reason he can’t say it) must logically be consistent continuing into s4.

Can anyone seriously tell me that Mike, here in this scene, was struggling to say the word 'love' because he was 'scared one day El wouldn't need him':

No. Of course not. He was specifically avoiding the word, and the most plausible explanation for his aversion (if we're ignoring Byler) is that Mike's just a kid and love is a big scary word. Bad at emotions etc. Which is why Mlvns and GA subscribed to that narrative, it seems obvious. But it cannot be right because Mike reveals the 'true reason' in 4x09. This is the canon explanation, finally—he's been scared she eventually won't need him. Except, that cannot be right either, because that reasoning does not align with his obvious (again, ignoring Byler) s3 motivation (love being daunting for a young teen) for the exact same behaviour. Like he literally uses the exact same pattern of avoidant wording from s3 in s4 (‘I care for you so much') and like I’ve said this is all meant to be one singular, overarching conflict.

If the initial 'bad at feelings' reading of Mike was correct, you'd expect the monologue to be more along the lines of 'I find it really difficult to express myself but I do truly love you, so this is me being vulnerable and brave'. Personally, I would've somewhat bought that. As a Byler I would've been like okay, it's kind of boring cliché storytelling but I'll admit defeat. But that’s not what happens. Basically what I’m getting at is:

Neither of these explanations can account for Mike’s inability to tell El he loves her in both seasons, so then by the logic of Mike having consistent motivations, neither can be true.

Which leads to the conclusion that there must be a different, all-encompassing, underlying cause for his heavy avoidance. Something that connects all the dots. I wonder what that could possibly be.

#byler #anti mileven #also I do believe that Mike is scared of El not needing him #but his reason for this fear is rooted in unhealthy codependency and his insecurities not because he’s just so in love

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natashatrace · 6 months

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hi, writing is hard right now, so this is much more of a not!fic but!! enjoy this exploration of the cyclone&rooster&maverick of it all pre/during/post tgm. <3

somewhere in my head right now, there's a short story exploring the past relationship of cyclone & rooster before, during, & after tgm.

rooster going through top gun for the first time and cyclone taking an interest, sensing the anger and the grief wrapped around rooster like a cloud he can't shake. cyclone knows it's crippling the kid in ways that rooster doesn't even realize. cyclone also knows about the history, right -- he was only two years behind mav at top gun, so he remembers the stories of the RIO that died during a training exercise. probably remembers all the rumors that flew, too.

after an exceptionally rough day during top gun, cyclone speaks to rooster one-on-one and slowly, it becomes a regular thing. one-on-one conversations, cyclone checking in on the kid throughout hops and classroom instruction. maybe cyclone gets teased by another instructor for having a favorite and cyclone denies it (poorly).

and then the awards ceremony happens, rooster & the rest of his class become graduates, and cyclone finds rooster sitting alone at the reception. rooster's a few drinks deep, buzzed enough to explain how he thought not getting to go to the academy was what had made him so angry all this time. but now that he's here at top gun, now that he's made it and is one of the best pilots of his generation, he's realized it wasn't about the academy at all. it was about finding out that maverick, his fiercest supporter, didn't actually believe in him. it was about being told he wasn't good enough despite the fact that he's clearly good enough.

(of course, we know that maverick believes in that kid and was just acting on his own fear/carol's wishes. but rooster doesn't know that. cyclone certainly doesn't know that.)

cyclone continues keeping in touch with the kid after that. keeps tabs on him. maybe iceman finds out and tries to casually bring up rooster in a conversation, but cyclone makes it clear he won't be gossiping about the kid so maverick can find out because "that is your real goal here, isn't it, sir?"

(it makes iceman grin. he and cyclone develop a relationship of mutual respect. they don't ever talk about rooster. iceman gets maverick out of trouble all the time. cyclone doesn't understand why.)

when cyclone finally meets the infamous maverick, he's already not a fan. he sees this man as a selfish, arrogant pilot that can't step aside to make room for anyone that could knock him off this pedestal. when he asks maverick, "is that how goose's son sees it?" it's intended to provoke him deliberately. cyclone's heard all the stories from rooster about how maverick wasn't at fault, but he also wonders if rooster only believes that because maverick drilled it into his head so many times.

he knows rooster being one of the recalled graduates is going to be a problem. and yet.

(also, there's something so interesting about how similar cyclone & rooster's ideas for the mission parameters are. rooster wanting to fly the mission more slowly than maverick (bc he's stubborn, bc he doesn't want to take instruction from the man that tried to keep him from getting here, etc etc etc). and tHEN, lo & behold, cyclone changing the mission parameters so that they all have more time to reach the target just like rooster demonstrated that first day. are they both trying to do the opposite of maverick, yes, but are they ALSO trying to do the same thing bc their styles of flying are similar and that's why cyclone's taken a liking to rooster? who could say for sure. insert the 'i've connected the dots' post).

rooster's angry after the bird strike & wants to know why maverick stood in his way. maverick says "you weren't ready" and rooster wants to hear him say it -- pushes maverick to say that he didn't believe in rooster, but maverick doesn't say it bc that isn't why.

(rooster flips it. does it for him. "i won't make the same mistake.")

cyclone goes from "they know the risks, all of these pilots accept that" to "get them home, now." and it's an incredible journey, right -- it's maybe one of my favorite things about the film. cyclone warring with what he has to do as an officer in charge versus what he wishes he could do in order to keep his own people safe.

but with this whole pre-canon journey in mind, cyclone trusting maverick to be team leader takes on a whole new Thing. he's trusting maverick to pick the right team, to pick the right wingman, and to complete the mission. that mission now includes getting everyone home. it includes getting rooster home.

maybe he's realizing that maverick is the best chance at that.

cyclone glancing over to rooster fearfully when maverick picks him for his wingman. cyclone's voice breaking when he says there's nothing rooster can do for maverick, not in a goddamn f-18. cyclone exhaling heavily when rooster gets shot down going back for maverick. cyclone's stunned reaction when the f-14 is located with rooster in tow.

i like to think that after the mission, cyclone does his duties of going through debriefs and meetings and checking in on everyone, and then he goes to the medical wing to see maverick. he's Professional about it and Awkward As Fuck about it, but he thanks maverick for serving his country and, more quietly, for getting everyone home.

maverick, always more perceptive than the fucker has any right to be -- "i was getting bradshaw home one way or another, sir. i know you know that."

"yes, captain. i do."

he still doesn't like maverick much. but he's grateful.

and then he goes to check in on rooster. he's just as Professional and just as Awkward (bc i think that's cyclone's default setting when there is any chance of Emotion).

(see: turned to face the window like a doofus while he monologued about picking mav for team lead. someone make a comparison gifset of cyclone at the window & hilary duff at the window in the 'come clean' music video.)

he, again, thanks rooster for his service and tells the kid he's glad to see him back in one piece. and then, breathing out a dramatic sigh --

"fuckin' maverick, huh?"

and rooster snorts, wiping a hand tiredly over his face. "god, i know. guess i'll have to find someone else to complain about now."

"oh, don't worry," cyclone huffs, shaking his head. "i think you'll still have plenty to complain about with him around, lieutenant."

#top gun maverick #beau cyclone simpson #bradley rooster bradshaw #pete maverick mitchell #cyclone #rooster #maverick #mywriting #*tgmfic #cyclonerooster #idk idk IDK reiver is at fault for this #bc i am THINKING THINGS about their pre-canon relationship #they're absolutely closer than canon lets on and that is a FACT #reiverreturns #is there a version of this in my head where cyclone and rooster are maybe a little Interested in Each Other #none of youR BUSINESS (yes)

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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Mini Costume Meta

Poker game Eddie!!

I did bucks outfit yesterday and today its the turn of Eddie!!

Again I apologise for the rubbish screenshots, I'll have better ones in my actual costume meta after the episode has aired!!

It's really hard to tell in these screenshots, but Eddie is dressed in a blue tartan suit. When the still dropped and we all went into meltdown, I thought the jacket was blue and a dark green teal, now I've seen it a bit better, I'm pretty sure its actually royal and navy blue - a navy that is almost black!

Ok firstly we have the check theme to contend with and the fact that in 911 verse, check means potential danger and change and that rings true here, I just don't think the check is for physical danger.

We need to look at all the times Eddie has worn a suit to fully appreciate what is going on with the check, so bear with me!

This new suit is the 4th one we've seen Eddie wear. First up is the navy suit (and grey marl tie) we see him wear to his interview and look around Durrand School.

Then we have the black on black suit we see him in when he's suit shopping for Christopher with Ana.

Followed by the blue check suit with black spotty shirt we see him in at Hen and Karens vow renewal.

I hope you can all start to see what is going on here - each suit is connected not only to where Eddie is at mentally, but it is also connected to a person (Shannon, Ana, Eddie himself and then this new one Buck) and a key moment in Eddies story.

I'm not going to really really drill down into all the suits because I don't have the time, but that first navy suit with its white shirt and mismatched tie is very much conveying an Eddie who is both uncomfortable and unsure of who he is - the mismatched nature of the overall outfit is meant to look a bitt off and jarring. The navy of the suit itself is about trust, loyalty and stability - all things very relevant to Eddie in that moment - he is trusting Carla (and by extension Buck), he is trying to provide stability for Chris, and he is still loyal to Shannon.

Its very telling that the only truly odd one out is the black suit - the one connected to Ana! Its also the only suit we know for definite that Eddie didn't pick for himself. The black suit is meant to indicate the concept of the black dog of depression - a black cloud hanging over both Eddie and the relationship with Ana.

The suit Eddie wears to the HenRen vow renewal with its small check pattern and the black shirt with the blue dots is showing us Eddies progress - he's still going through it, the check tells us that - but the fact that we've gone from Eddie having panic attacks in a black suit and we've now got an Eddie in a much brighter blue (still with some black in the shirt as a nod to the previous suit - think of it like the blue overtaking and erasing the black) indicating that he is much calmer and at peace with himself. If you want to read more about this suit, then head over to my pinned post and read the costume meta for 5x18!

Back to the check theme and the new suit jacket - yes this is a darker suit than the previous one, but its still two shades of blue - a combination of the navy of the first suit and a brighter blue which connects to the vow renewal suit. connecting the two suits to this suit is important from a narrative perspective,

for me the use of this tartan check is just the next stage of the very tiny check - its not going to be all smooth sailing for Eddie yet and I think the Pepa meddling is the thing that the check is foreshadowing

White pocket squares - nobility and wealth as well as love and luck - much of these meanings stem from the age of chivalry - ladies pocket squares being given to knights of the joust as a token of luck etc

In modern US parlance, pocket squares are a symbol of anti traditionalist values - by this I mean, you won't find those of a right wing persuasion (Donal Trump and his lot) wearing a pocket square. Pocket squares are and were considered a symbol of sophistication - especially in golden age Hollywood - Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Clark Gable etc all wore pocket squares in various ways.

The reason I'm giving you all this information is to point out that the fact we have Eddie wearing one here is both interesting and telling. As far as I'm aware this is the first time we've seen one worn on 911 (I don't have any notes of any of the mains wearing one in my costume plots!) so this is tapping into all of the meanings above, Eddie is wearing it as a symbol of wealth (appropriate for a poker game!) but mostly as a nod to old school Hollywood.

The costume department are trying to evoke that era through Eddies costume, the set is also evoking that era and so the two things are working in tandem (Bucks red velvet suit jacket also does the same thing - it mimics a smoking jacket which was a common thing for men to have in their wardrobe and wear to play poker or pool). They're essentially trying to make Eddie look like those leading men because in their films they always got the girl (in Eddies case its indicating he's gonna get the boy!).

Onto the Black turtleneck! Black turtlenecks have such an interesting history, they have very strong links with antiestablishment and activism - often worn as a statement or a symbol of protest. The turtleneck is meant to be non-conformist and set the wearer apart from societal norms. The black panthers wore them as part of their 'protest uniform' in the 50's and 60's making them part of the activist style and cementing them as a garment of protest and dissent.

Steve Jobs very deliberately chose the black turtle neck as part of his uniform - to appear down to earth and casual, but also to set him apart from the shirt and tie wearing Bill Gates - it made Apple seem not only aspirational, but also more user friendly to the everyman over the nerdy suits of the establishment!

We've seen it used for the same purpose in film - think Cary Grant in to catch a thief - wearing both a navy and white striped turtleneck as well as a black one when he's being 'the cat'

Or even Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face - when she's in the jazz club dancing - a scene supposed to show her as different from the traditional models found gracing the pages of 'Quality' the fictional magazine Fred Astaire's Character photographs for.

In the 1920's and 30's, Noel Coward made them popular and as a result they became a symbol of queerness - this is also the origin of the black turtleneck as a piece of clothing representing something non-conformist that all the other iterations stem from.

So Eddie wearing a black turtleneck at this moment in time is such a choice. It is meant to show us an Eddie who is comfortable in his own skin and that that Eddie is non-conformist. This works on a couple of fronts - it is a nod to the fact he has defied his families expectations and choices for him - that he has decided to be better for himself, that he's going to therapy and working on himself. But its also a nod to an Eddie now comfortable enough to break from heteronormativity and embrace his queerness - something which is still considered to be non-conforming!

I've already screamed about Eddies watch (you can see a decent glimpse of it in the still above), so I won't go into it too much here, but I will mention again how important I think it is that this is (likely, as we've not yet seen the episode) the first time we're seeing this new watch. I mentioned previously that the first time we saw the blue faced leather strapped watch was at his coffee date with Ana - a watch very much connected with Christopher and of course that relationship was very much about Eddie following Christophers heart not his own (even though we know Christophers heart will probably be happier with Buck than it ever was with Ana!!!). So this new watch is very much now connected to Buck (and the fact that Buck appears to also be wearing a new and metal watch has me all kinds of feral because if he is it is telling us that Buck and Eddie are both on the same page and that their timing is now in sync - so Buddie cannon here we come!!

#kym costume meta #911 costume meta #mini meta #911 meta #costume meta #Eddie costumes #poker date is giving me so much life #costume team I adore you #they just keep on serving on the storytellingfront #911 spoilers #911 on fox #911 fox #911onfox #eddie diaz #buddie

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hush-house-yard-sale · 8 months

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The Hush House Card Catalogue

@baja-blasted @terephin (please ignore the crabs)

//So the software I'm using to keep track of my books, lore bits, etc. is called Seatable! It wasn't my first choice for this project, I'm more familiar with Airtable (I've used it professionally), but Airtable's free plan doesn't let you color-code :c

//Seatable is a website that looks a lot like google sheets, but instead of building a spreadsheet, you're building a database. I knew I wanted a database rather than a spreadsheet for my card catalogue because it became pretty apparent early on that a spreadsheet would mean a lot of duplicate entries and be a lot more work to maintain, as well as monumentally more work if I wanted to use it for reference.

//My database isn't finished, and so I'm not really comfortable making it public, but I'm happy to walk through some of the things that I like most about it, that made me choose to make a database rather than a spreadsheet.

//The main things that were really important to me was being able to have (and filter by) multiple items in the same column, having lots of cross-linking between the different sheets in the base, and having different views depending on what I was looking to reference.

//These are my different tables right now, and the way they work is that each table has the most detailed information on each item, e.g. Books has the most detail on books, and Skills has the most detail on skills. But I have columns in each table that allow me to crosslink between them.

//So for each book, I have listed the skill and memory they give, but instead of writing each out individually it links to the corresponding entry in skills/memories

//And then over in the memories tab it has all the detail on the aspects, which wisdoms it can be committed to...

//...and every book this skill can be found in and every item it can be used to craft. And those boxes can be expanded so they're easier to read as well!

//I can also group and sort things in different views. My default view for books, for example, splits them into two categories—whether I've read the book or not—and then sorts the books in each category alphabetically. But I also have one that groups them all by mystery and then sorts them from low to high, and I have another that groups them by topic. Each of these views also omits columns that aren't relevant to that particular view, for example, if I'm searching for books by mystery to give to a visitor, it's important to know the author because it's fun to give people books they themselves have written, but I don't really care about what memories that book gives, or when I'm trying to connect lore dots, it doesn't matter whether or not the book is cursed and I don't need to include books I haven't read yet (and thus don't have topic tags for). The rows on the topic one are also bigger so I can better read the blurbs.

//Well, the topic one actually groups by location, because when I group it by topic, it splits it into every combination of my topic tags, rather that giving me "here are all your books about the mansus" "here are all your books about Longs and Names" so I've stored them all in different places in the house depending on what books I think are relevant to one another.

//It's still in progress, I don't have everything written down yet, and I want more data for workbenches, and I want to try and see if there's a way for it to, say, auto-match skills/souls to workbenches for committing to the tree or crafting certain recipes. Also my color-coding is in shambles bc I'm waiting for a friend to recover from covid so that they can make me a greasemonkey script to make it a little less... corporate...

//But yeah! I like it a lot, and it works really well for my purposes. I highly recommend trying it out, and I'm happy to answer questions!

#Weather Factory #Book of Hours #Book of Hours Game #Cultist Simulator #Databases #ooc

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powdermelonkeg · 1 month

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Alright so ive been thinking about it (probably far too much) and want a second opinion.

Tears of the Kingdom and Baldurs Gate 3 were the same price.

TotK gave me a total of like. I think it was 160 hours to 100% completion (koroks ignored) in my case. And then i set it down and have had no urge to touch it again.

I'm about 120 hours into BG3 now. I have not completed my first playthrough, and I expect Ive still got some 30 hours left of it. I DO intend to play through it again, and I know that there are countless things left for me to do in it still.

And like. I ENJOYED TotK. It was a blast. But looking at BG3 now, complete with its 3 stage city map, like five other maps too, full voice acting, complex storyline, multiple endings, replayability, etc.

It has me realizing that TotK reused its old map. The only major addition was a procedurally generated single-biome underworld and a couple of floating islands (several of which were copy pasted around the map). Most of its gameplay was already built on the previous game.

So the thought I keep coming back to then is that TotK was fine. It was fun. But if BG3 is a 70 dollar game, then TotK has no good reason to be any more than $40.

But I think youre more into both games than I have been, so I wanna know your thoughts.

Sat on this for a little bit and...yeah. $40 is a good price for it.

Like, I'm not too mad about the map thing. BG3 was in production since BotW came out, while TotK started in 2019 and has to deal with a physics environment. I know what I'm getting into with a Nintendo game when I buy one, I know the level of writing and effort (and railroading) to expect. But the price thing has been a thorn in my side that I've ignored for...awhile.

I do think BG3 deserved another year to cook. Maybe two. I'm extremely GLAD it came out when it did, because I found it when I did, but the third act, for all its complexity, has a lot of loose ends that need tying together. Which, I also am not mad about. When you've had Pokemon-level writing for most of your life, and you connect dots in Zelda, literally any snippet of BG3 writing feels incredible. Even the worst bits of Baldur's Gate are so rich in comparison to the Nintendo games I play. But I DO think that they rushed themselves, and they definitely did it so as to not compete with Starfield.

Which is like...I've spent a decade evaluating whole wheat bread, and you've put a massive chocolate cake in front of me. I'm not going to care that the icing on the third tier isn't as fancy as the first two. I am kind of going to lament that the baker had to rush it out the door, though.

Also BG3 replayability >>>>>>>>> TotK replayability. Like, it's past Skyrim levels. I love games where my choices matter and aren't retconned.

#long post #bg3 #totk #ask bee #fave mutuals #like i love totk for what it is #and i love bg3 for what IT is #but you're 100% right in that prices have gotten ridiculous #ALSO. WOULD SOMEONE OPTIMIZE THESE PC GAMES PLEAS #negative salt #<- just in case

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local-ground-apple · 1 year

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Hello, I just saw that you're open for requests and I thought, I maybe should use this opportunity. I'm sorry for my bad English >w<

I would like to ask for some Head canons where MC/Reader is a demon from their world (Twst) and demons are rare in Twst and he/she is dating one of the boys. How would the reaction be when they find out what he/she truly is, while they date and there is the fact that he/she never hid it anyway or doesn't care that they find out.

Characters I would love to see those Headcanons off are Lilia Vanrouge, Jade Leech and Floyd Leech. They are my favorites to be honest. x3

I hope it's not too much to asks. I'm also not sure if someone ever asked this before. D: Thank you in advance. x3

Hiii, don't worry about your English, it's great! And sure! You're the first one to request something like this. I've never written a demon mc! before, so I hope I didn't fail miserably Also, it's been a while since I wrote anything for tweels

🦇 He knew from the very beginning. At first he wasn't sure that you were a demon. However, he knew 100% that you weren't a human. he guessed your race quiet rapidly, even before you two started dating. Lilia is ancient, so he had interacted with practically every single race in Twisted Wonderland, even as rare as yours. Besides, you didn't exactly attempted to hide your origins,

🦇 Lilia doesn’t mind that you’re a demon. After all, he isn’t human himself.

🦇 You both are really old. Like really old. But that's what made him figure out your race. You often slip up and reminisce about the past. Or you casually share stories from like two centuries ago. If someone points it out, you just brush it off jokingly.

🦇 Silver sometimes jokes that you two are really old (he means that you two are perfect for each other).

🦇 A Fae and a Demon is a dangerous, but powerful mix. You both enjoy someone else’s misery (kidding). However, you two absolutely love pranking others. Your favorite victim is Sebek, given his loud and violent reactions. Lilia “tries” to stop you,

🦇 Lilia never really confronted you about him knowing which species you are, yet he knew that you knew that he knew. You don’t really care if the others find out or not. You simply enjoy being yourself.

🌊 Jade is quite observant and he quickly connected the dots. I mean, not exactly, but he was close. He was aware that you weren’t human. You’ve never really tried to conceal your true nature deeming it too troublesome to hide your demonic heritage

🌊 Since demons are extremely rare in Twisted Wonderland, Jade couldn’t figure out on his own who you were exactly. He had few guesses (all of them were wrong) and even with Azul’s help and knowledge, he didn’t manage to find out your race.

🌊 So he talked with you and you casually told him, dropping this huge news on him. Honestly, Jade suspected that you may be some sort of very rare Fae (oh, how wrong was he),

🌊 Jade doesn’t care about your demonic heritage. Quite the contrary, he finds it fascinating. He can and will ask you a lot of questions about your species. There’s not many books in Twisted Wonderland that are dedicated to your race, so he is rather curious,

🌊 Jade also does it, because he genuinely wants to get to know you better. You don’t mind his questions and you gladly answer them

🌊 Jade is also really curious of your true form (like whether you have wings/horns/tail, etc.) and he will literally beg you to show it to him

🌊 Perhaps one day you will,

🦐 Flyod found out by pure accident about your demonic heritage and he literally doesn’t care about it. You are still his lovely shrimpie, so your race changes absolutely nothing for him.

🦐 Your demonic origin basically lets him squeeze you as hard as he wants without leaving any bruises or gravely injuring you. Needless to say, he is overjoyed, since he doesn't have to hold himself back,

🦐 After he found out, he realized that it was so obvious and he was so blind. Like, you didn’t even bother to hide your demonic traits at all,

🦐 You two are a menace to the society. Sometimes, when you let your demonic traits take over, you are truly frightening. And so is Floyd.

🦐 In the whole school, no one, absolutely no one dares to mess up with you two. Really.

🦐 You both are creatures of chaos and you both enjoying wrecking it together. Given your demonic heritage, you are usually more prone to picking up violence as a solution to your problems. And for Floyd violence isn’t a question, it’s the answer that is always yes.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #lilia vanrouge #jade leech #flyod leech #lilia vanrouge x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #twst floyd leech x reader #twst lilia vanrouge x reader #twst jade leech x reader #twst jade x reader #twst lilia x reader #twst floyd x reader #twst floyd leech #twst jade leech #twst lilia vanrouge

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nicotachi · 2 months

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(i was inspired by the prev reblog but i figure my tags were quickly devolving into a "make your own post" moment)

the thing about ganyu is that i REALLY like the lore they've provided us with, enough to construct a complex and nuanced character that goes beyond the few glimpses we see of her in the liyue archon quest.

my hot take is i actually, don't really care whether or not those things are explicitly shown in the main storyline. i ship gq for god's sake, and i've never wanted more than a nod for either (i feel like i always have to clarify: i don't particularly expect or even want them to become canon), because i love when the audience is trusted to connect the dots themselves. i know that in fanwork, there's a fine line between assembling the puzzle pieces deliberately left by the creators and making a sandwich out of discarded bread, but i like to think of it as the former.

but what i don't appreciate is yeah, why are they filling her precious screentime with fat jokes and being sleepy or timid?? chenyu vale already showed that they cannot be normal about a woman without injecting weight insecurities. the sleepy girl thing has also been done so many times that i could name like five female characters who have it as a core personality trait. i just don't understand the logic. hbomberguy once pointed out in his "why r*by is disappointing" video essay that it was almost like two opposing forces were writing the same characters and i see that here a little bit.

ganyu in the side materials (story quest, world quest mentions, body language in the CINEMATICS, etc) comes off as a very firm and wise person, while ganyu in the most recent lantern rite is in a constant state of fatigue or discomfort. neither of those are emotions or personality traits!! she's treated as a placeholder at times when they could easily call back to the other, more interesting things they've written about her in the game.

but as an aside: i don't actually agree with any sentiments that favor her soldier past over her secretary role. i believe both are important parts to her just as she is half qilin and human. to box her into one thing or another kind of misses the point of her character imo, that people contain multitudes, and can drastically change over a long enough stretch of time and circumstances.

#kinda ranty not rly a huge point here but Yeah!#meta #text post

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 21

"Going Under" AKA "Going Down in the Laundry Room"

We made it home just in time for the episode, but I was too worn from the events of the day to finish last night. So, here it is, your Meta.

SPOILER ALERT: Look, I don't spoil those who want to remain unspoiled, which is why there's a cute "Read More" button. But as soon as you click that, you're on your own. You will be spoiled. Sorry, not sorry.

All squared away? It's time to dive in!

Lucy and Tim Brief the Team

There's something very powerful about seeing Lucy and Tim standing up there to tell everyone about the Op.

It throws me back to Lucy's first Under Cover assignment when an angry Tim perched outside the door, arms crossed, while Lucy sat as a member of the briefing.

Now, Sergeant Second Class Bradford and... what the hell!?

Where's Lucy's promotion, dagnabbit?!

Look, I'm really not trying to complain after the feast we got in this episode. But, it really does strike hard when you're thinking about earlier seasons and how far Tim has come professionally.

I really hope the "Lucy wants to make Detective" story line continues this season or beginning of next.

"Which is where Officer Chen comes in. She'll be going undercover..."

It's good that Tim's the one who's introducing this, and we're continuing our thread of, "Tim is trying to be okay with this."

Also, again, a long way from Tim being pissed about Lucy going UC. The growth has been massive. I think it's important to acknowledge that even as we spend this episode highlighting how much further these two have to go.

The need for continued growth does not cancel out the growth already achieved. Work is work, and when you put it in, it matters.

"Until further notice, if you see Officer Chen out in the world, don't acknowledge her."

And, I'm thrown back to Lucy's Op at the end of Season 3, when Tim and Jackson came across her with the traffic stop. I remember Jackson asking Tim how to play it, and Tim coaching him through.

"I called Hard Luck." "Really? He's such an unreliable CI."

Gosh, I love how these two talk to one another. Again, we've come so fucking far.

And I know I'm waxing nostalgic, a bit, but I think that's natural for an episode of this magnitude. Lucy hasn't done more than a short stint undercover op in many seasons.

And this is the first time we get to see these two handle it as a couple.

Every other time they've done this, Tim was a TO or a coworker. Now, he's Lucy's Shower Sex Sweetie and Quality Quickie with a dash of Down-And-Dirty-All-Night-Long-Hottie.

It's bound to change the dynamic. But one thing that I love about this scene is how equal they are.

Sure, Lucy doesn't have the rank, but she's no longer "sir"ing Tim (unless he asks for it in the bedroom... or shower... or wherever role playing activities might transpire).

"He knows it's important to me." "Aw... undercover love." *giggle*

Y'all, I'm giddy. Like, legit was grinning like a fool. And after the day I've had, that's no small miracle.

Also, it feels like Eric Winter almost broke, and like Melissa O'Neil did. I have no intel on this, and I might be completely off-base, but there was something about his little quirk of the lip and double-take that would definitely have set me off if I was working opposite him in that scene.

"Jamie Hall." "You all set up Jamie?" "Yeah, all good."

So. Fucking. Cute.

I just love that Tim's the one outside keeping an eye on her (even if my subconscious is trying to connect the dots between IA paperwork, possible liabilities of Tim overreacting or losing his cool, and what happens if he uses the wrong name by accident, etc).

He is the protector. And being involved in the Op is easier for him to handle than not being involved.

Think about it... we know that Isabel would go away for months at a time and Tim felt like he couldn't breathe the whole time. He didn't know about the people she met. He didn't know anything.

He told Isabel that Lucy was different, and I think we all can see that Chenford can be different. But without communication, they're doomed.

Golly, that sounds dramatic. Like that old shipping commercial where everyone is doomed. Yeah, like twelve of you reading understand that reference, and I'm leaving it anyway.

But, I truly believe communication is the foundation to a strong relationship. And I'm not just saying that because I happen to hold two degrees in communications.

Tim and Lucy have the benefit of an established relationship based on trust and respect. But learning to effectively communicate your needs, wants, fears, aversions, and desires as a couple is completely different.

"Are you good? .... "Are you good?" "Do you mean do I miss you already? Nah, I'm fine." "You are such a jerk."

This is so me and Matt coded. And, yes, I'm Lucy in this scenario. Can't tell you how many times I've affectionately called Matthew a jerk and he's shared that same satisfactory smirk on Tim's face afterwards.

"Hey, will you keep an eye on Tamara for me? You know, just check in on her every once in a while." "Of course. Yeah, don't worry about her. I'll keep an eye on her. You just focus on the job."

Tim is really trying to be amazingly supportive for her. And I love this little reminder that Tim does have his own place.

Yes, for production purposes we're spending a lot of time at Lucy's (that I head-canon is because she lives closer to the station).

Also, Tim doesn't hesitate to watch out for Tamara. There was a time he only referred to Tamara as "Lucy's Puppy", but now they're family.

"How long do you think this will take?"

Excuse me, we're getting a montage!?! Like, a montage with voice over provided by our intrepid duo? Be still my beating heart!

Y'all don't understand. I was a Voice Over artist for two decades. So, when I see actors who can also do voice over well, I get super hyped.

Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter decided to make me gawk at their talent even more tonight. Gee wiz! Like, it's possible they recorded their audio together, but more likely they were each in comfy clothes in the booth solo on completely different days.

And the chemistry. still. freakin. works. That's talent, my friends.

Look, some people crush VO and some people don't. Just watch (or don't watch... maybe with shrooms nearby) the Star Wars Holiday Special animated section to see what I mean.

I'm not gonna name names, but it was really easy to call which Star Wars actor was going to go into voice work later and which one really shouldn't have been asked to do that long VO for Blade Runner.

"Oh, do not finish this season of Top Chef without me." "I can't make any promises."

Y'all, this is so me and Matt coded! Now, Top Chef is my show and not Matthew's. I even keep it on in the background when I'm working or writing a screenplay.

Yes, I know most people don't work that way. I'm weird. I've come to terms with it, and I like me—weird and all.

But we totally have our shows where we say, "You better not watch this without me!" And, usually, I'm the one to screw it up. Mostly by accident!

Matthew always reminds me of Mean Girls. He wanted to see it in theaters. I said to hold off. Then we were in the video store (yes, we're old) and he offered to rent it, but I said to hold off. The third time was a year later when he remembered we hadn't seen it.

Except I accidentally caught it on TV totally forgetting we said we'd watch it together. Eep!

Also, after Lucy complaining about her ex watching too many cooking shows after his wrists were slit, I find it interesting she actively watched them with Tim.

Just goes to show cooking shows were never the problem. *cough* dead weight puffed chicken *cough*

"You ever wish you has a normal job?" "One where people don't shoot at you? Not once." "Yeah, me, either."

I love how easy their conversation is. These are the little things that add up to big things when you're building a relationship. And some mastermind in the Writer's Room thought, "What if we advance their relationship while advancing the episode's story via VO?"

As much flack as VO sometimes takes (and I'm actually a VO fan), I adore this choice.

We don't need to meet all the people in the office and establish relationships with them. It doesn't service the story or our core characters. So, we're letting Tim and Lucy—two characters we adore—carry us through via the VO. It's bloody beautiful.

Also, I love the pacing of this episode. Love it. There's an effortlessness to the timing of the edits and the passage of time via wardrobe change is so beautifully done.

I know we have the Super giving us time stamps via dates, but those are almost superfluous because we can visualize the journey via other cues. It's stuff like this that makes me bloody giddy.

"Making any friends?"

This. Is. So. Cute. Tim is actually keeping Lucy sane, here, I'm convinced! Remember her last UC assignment where she had to check in via phone? She was bored out of her mind.

"Is the monotony getting to you?" "I don't mind it... I just don't want it to all be for nothing."

This is so interesting to me. The word choice, I mean. This is how I felt about the infertility drugs... it couldn't all be for nothing.

I'm not going to get into the whole thing, here. But, I dealt with multiple years of infertility for my kids. For a while, I had to be on this medication—letrazole. Most people have minor reactions on it. I had almost all the weird/severe reactions.

But it got my follicles to optimum size for ovulation. It wasn't all for nothing.

There are things we put ourselves through willingly, sometimes, that to an outsider might seem strange. But we have a reason for what we're doing—and a hope that it's the right thing to do.

"Why don't we go for a walk?"

It's not Chenford, but I gotta call out my on-screen bestie for using her brains on this one to prevent Frank from taking her to a second location. Well done.

Tim Pretending to Be On the Phone

Fierce protector is there. Now, I'm turning off my subconscious brain on this one, and I'll explain why at the end. But, I did think it was a nice touch to have Tim on the phone, here.

There's something about this episode that felt like a dash of Alias was sprinkled onto the souffle. It's already an abundant hour that could feel bloated, but instead is rich and decadent. But that added spice is palpable in the shooting and editing, especially.

That over-the-shoulder shot of the landscape when Tim's watching them feels hand-held, giving us that sense of something being off-kilter and unstable.

When Tim hangs up, it's a shot of his torso, out-of-focus, with the real action behind him. There are layers to how this is shot, and it's so reminiscent of a spy movie in the best ways.

The whole episode is already elevated by Michael Rooker. But the script and pacing and directing and editing all feel like they've risen to the occasion, too.

"I was bored to early onset rigor mortis."

But this is a part of UC life. It's the "hurry up and wait" that is strangely a huge part of life in the film/television industry, as well. Like, a huge part.

It could be waiting for the sun to set so you have the perfect lighting, waiting for an actor on set, waiting for notes, or even a Writer's Strike if it comes to that.

UC often means embedding for months at a time before getting what you're going after. It's something for which Tim and Lucy must prepare. And I feel like this episode is the perfect vehicle to get us there.

"Like a date?" ... "odds are he's hoping for a little something-something."

Tim is having a hard time, and Grey knows it. I love how he casts a glance Tim's way on this line, sensing his unease.

Let's be real—Grey saw Chenford coming before they did. And he's the one really tuned into Tim, here.

Tim can't help walking her to the door, holding it open for her, even if he knows he can't touch her. He's concerned.

"You okay?" "Five by five." "You gotta treat this like any other op and treat Lucy like any other UC." "I know."

I'll be honest, when I first watched this scene, this is what I wrote: UGH. I don't like what's being set up. Please don't let Tim fuck this up. Please don't let Tim fuck this up.

I have never been so happy to be wrong about my read on a scene. I seriously worried we were setting it up for Tim to be the liability in all this, and I'm grateful that's not the direction it went.

This show has a history of showing couples working through bad times, tough situations, close calls. The core couples suffer as much as any Austen heroine—and they come out alright in the end. I'm grateful to see that tradition continue with Chenford.

"Okay."

First off, I have to admit that I giggled when Lucy's head popped up. I know it's a completely inappropriate response, but all I could picture was one of those Whack-A-Mole's at the Chuck-E-Cheese growing up. She was like a little prairie dog, and I haven't been able to watch the scene since.

Anyway, back to what I wrote when this first aired: Tim sees Lucy and he can breathe, again. She knew. She knew he'd be looking for her.

And Tim knew he couldn't breach. If he went in, that'd give away everything, and someone needed to go after that car.

He's doing everything right. But it hurts like hell.

"Gun was empty. I got lucky. Otherwise..."

And you can see it hurts. Look, Tim has faced a lot worse in his time in the military and working Patrol. But everything is raw right now.

The woman he loves it in danger. She was nearly killed by that same weapon. Both of them had close calls with the same gun and lived to tell the tale.

"Hey, you okay?" "Yeah. I am now.... meet me at the laundry room in your building." "Yes. See you in 30."

I love the touch that Lucy's hand is on the phone before Frank even pulls away. She needs to touch base with Tim. She needs to hear his voice.

And I love the emphasis Melissa O'Neil places on "Yes". It's a heart cry for its soulmate. There is no question that they need to see one another.

Tim has always had this need to protect Lucy, even before romance was on the table. And Lucy has always had a need to protect Tim, too, in her own way.

Lucy watching out for Tim with Isabel. Tim doing whatever it took to save Lucy from a serial killer. Over and over, these two have a need to know the other is okay.

I remember not so long ago Tim was asking Nolan, Nyla, Angela... asking if Lucy was okay. He needed to know. Then, he finally had the direct line as a friend. He could text her to get the details.

Now, they need to see each other. It's that same need, but it's grown along with their relationship.

*hug* "That was really scary." "Yeah, I almost had a heart attack."

Lucy launches herself up into his arms and he nestles into her shoulder. Tim's right hand is splayed across her back, as though he wants to hold as much of her at one time as he can.

It's another one of those "Eric Winter act all the way through his fingers" moments. Tim's whole body is reacting to holding her, safe in his arms, down to those fingertips.

These poor babies. This is the first time they've had to do this deep since Lucy's S3 arc. And they've never done it in love, before. Not with each other.

Tim knows what he lost with Isabel. But this love is different, deeper, developed from the gradual building of trust. Layers upon layers of caring. Lucy is the love of his life—and he's run raw from witnessing the shootout, and skirting death moments apart.

"If you need to tap out-" "No."

Tim is trying to give her an out, and there's a mix here of professional and personal. She's shaken. So is he. But this is the job.

And he knows that. He does. But we've already established he can't be objective where she is concerned.

"Has he tried anything?"

This is a scenario that's run through my mind a million times—what would Tim do if someone violated Lucy... and what would he do to that person?

The way Eric Winter plays this moment is so heartbreaking, too. There's a vulnerability in Tim's eyes that is completely personal, void of professional. He's a man worried about the love of his life.

He knows she can handle herself. It's not a cognitive issue. It's that part of him that cries out Fierce Protector whenever she is in danger.

Lucy gets that, and she grabs onto his jacket with one hand, almost pulling him closer to her.

"Alright, now is not the time to talk about this-"

It's easier for him to change the subject on her than to acknowledge how much they both need to have this conversation at some point. They've been talking around it and avoiding it.

It has to be addressed at some point. There is no way forward without it.

"If you're good, I'm good." "I'm good." "Good."

I'm having a bit of a Court Jester moment, here, and it's cracking me up. "Get it?" "Got it." "Good."

But also, "Good" is kind of their word. Tim used it post-DOD with her in the workout room, and again when he was happy she didn't change her mind about dating him.

I don't know who made the choice—whether it was a writing thing, first, or an actor choice in the moment, but it somehow makes it more personal and lived-in. And I love that.

"Lock the door first."

Did they just.... have sex in there? Oh my GOSH they pulled a Java!

But what I really love about this is how it feels like a callback to 5x01 and the airplane bathroom. Not only is it a small space where they are covertly meeting to discuss the mission, but it's also a parallel to Lucy needing grounding and Tim being the one to do it.

In 5x01, Lucy was shaken by the Rosalind news. She made an excuse to kiss Tim, to wrap herself in a moment that was a release. Remember Isabel talking about how great it was to unwind in that hotel room and not be on guard for a bit?

Lucy needs this. She needs to be with Tim and wrap herself in the life they are building. Even if it's only a little while, it's going to sustain her while she's pretending while thinking on three levels to not get killed.

He grounds her when she's flailing. And she envelopes him when he's crumbling. Tim and Lucy have built a relationship of mutual respect, love, and protection. And, damn, is it great to get to see it on-screen.

"Miss you." "Getting coffee. 1 Minute." "911."

Shit. Of course this is the one moment when something goes down.

But I love the fact that Lucy was having Laundry Room Sex less than 12 hours earlier and she's already texting her boyfriend because she misses him. No wonder he practically lives at her place, already.

Also, now we know she finally has him listed as "Tim" in her phone. Now, he was "Tim" at the end of S4E1, but I think that was an oversight. So, officially we've graduated to first names.

"Hey. Why are you here?"

Oh, GPS tracking, how I hate thee in real life and love thee on TV.

"You got ten seconds to convince me you're not a cop."

Annnnd, there it is. This guy's not a moron. This isn't his first rodeo. And now he has a gun trained on our girl.

"I'm not a cop I... " "Then how the hell did you know they were coming." "A police scanner app. I can show you."

Well. Done. There are folks in my area who have scanner apps and are constantly posting things online.

I sometimes forget about it because when I worked in a newsroom, we had a guy whose whole job was to listen to the scanner. Still boggles my mind anyone can do it these days!

And Lucy. Gets. Him. Monologuing. And it's beautiful. Lessor actors would have bungled it, but Michael Rooker is a bloody master of the craft, and Melissa O'Neil holds her own opposite him, which adds such richness.

Before we move on, I have to pause and just fawn over Michael Rooker a bit. He's just such a gem of an actor, and that whole interaction there between Lucy and Frank is elevated by his presence.

He pours so much life into a character we've barely known five minutes.

I met him once upon a time. My mother was the Key Makeup Artist on a movie called Deceiver. While I was visiting Mom on-set, I had the opportunity to run lines with him.

He treated me like a working actor, which was crazy to a kid like me.

I remember him running me through this one line over and over. It was a three-word line (which of course I can't remember), but he was trying to teach me how inflection and intention can completely change the meaning of a line.

I carried that with me, and applied it to my acting, writing, and VO work the rest of my life.

My mom said he told her that I acted like a pro. And that's just so bloody special to me. I never had the body or the face for the big time, ya know? But, an actor I admire thought I had the chops. And that's super cool.

"Where are you?" "I'm outside the cover apartment. Frank just dropped me off."

One thing that is a minor thing, but really cracks me up about their dialogue is when they see each other in person, there's almost always a "hey" breathed under their breathe. On the phone, they just get to the point. It's so minor, but it makes me smile.

"I think this op is done." "You sure? " "Yeah. I mean, he's got no crew, no product. It's over." "That's too bad." "Why?" "I was looking forward to another laundry room hookup."

You. Idiots. And I say that with all love! It's so nice to see these two really enjoying their relationship, dagnabbit.

"I need a big meal, a hot bath, and some quality sexy time and then I'm gonna sleep for 24 hours."

Lucy runs her hands down his stomach, but Tim's quick to grab her hands. He rubs her arm, as though reminding himself that she's real.

"What what is that? What? " I just... Isabel used to always crash after a long term assignment. It took her months to come back to life."

I have three children. The first two are twins. And they were born just a few months after my best friend had her first. Her second child was born about six months before my third child.

Yes, I have a point. Gimme a second.

I have dealt with two very different children from day one. I don't know what it is to be the mother of a single child. That was never my reality.

But my bestie was shocked by how different her second child was compared to her first. She'd only known one thing for three years, so she assumed that's how all babies would be.

It was simply lack of experience that led her to lean into her previous understanding thinking it was all she needed. That's Tim, here.

He knows that Lucy is different... but they've never done this before. He's never been the one she came home to after a UC assignment.

He's not equating everything to Isabel because he thinks Lucy is Isabel, but because he has no comparisons. Tim and Lucy are going to build that together, yes, but he honestly doesn't know how to do that.

We know that Isabel shut him out. Tim is terrified Lucy will do the same, even though he hasn't verbalized it... yet.

"You know what, I do have to come clean about something, though. I know I made you a promise to not watch Top Chef without me but I couldn't wait. I'm sorry." "Bad girlfriend." "No! No. I'm sorry." "Horrible!"

I'm sheepishly hiding my face because I'm so Lucy in this moment. My on-screen bestie and I have way too much in common.

Also, we needed that bit of levity to break up the scene. Because it's about to get heavy.

"So... Why didn't you tell me you almost died chasing down the shooter at the restaurant?" "Because I didn't. Who told you?"

It's shocking Lucy thought she would ever be able to keep the Five Player Trade quiet considering how quickly gossip moves through that station. Gee wiz!

"The gun was empty, right? So this is much ado about nothing."

A Shakespeare reference? Now I know our girl's been rubbing off on her man.

"Besides I know for a fact you don't tell me everything that happens when you're undercover." "No. you know for a fact that Isabel didn't. If this is gonna between us I need to know you can see the difference."

Here we go. They are finally having the conversation they need to have. Tim told Isabel that Lucy was different. We know he knows it. But he has to believe it, too.

"... listen, I need you to take it seriously if I ever sound the alarm about something. Otherwise the pain of what I went through would have been for nothing. And I can't lose you the way I lost her.

That "for nothing" is coming back around. It can't be for nothing.

And he can't lose her. He survived losing Isabel. Yes, it broke him. It broke him for a long time. But I don't know if he'd ever recover from losing Lucy. True love can have that effect.

"You won't. I'll walk away before it gets close to anything like that. Okay? I promise."

There we go. This was the piece Lucy was missing last week when she tried to broach the subject. She approached it as though it was something he needed to deal with. But relationships only work when we get through together.

This conversation doesn't make everything all better. They are still going to face obstacles and issues. But they are finally being open and honest in both directions about Lucy doing UC.

Tim and Lucy embrace, but this is different than any of their other hugs, and I wonder if it's intentional. Tim has always nestled into her right shoulder. Lucy usually has one arm up and one down.

This time, she almost scoops in underneath as he wraps both arms around her. She's nestled in his wings as he's held up by her strength.

"We can build a house away from here," the song says. And they could. They could both walk away. But we've established that this is the life they love, dangerous as it is.

And the more they fall in love, the more they both have something worst living for. And that's terrifying.

Have you ever been in love? The kind of love that reciprocates and grows? It's amazing. I've only experienced it once, with the love of my life. It's difficult, at times, but it's also rewarding.

And it amplifies the big stuff. Because you're now a part of something so much bigger than the individual. And for Tim and Lucy, putting their lives on the line means there's someone who will be destroyed if they die.

There's all the more reason to live, but that can't get into the decision-making process in the moment. "You have to keep your head in the game," Tim has said often.

Love conquers all, right? Sometimes, it merely complicates.

I'm grateful for this episode. The pacing and directing were so on-point all around, and I felt like all the on-screen characters had moments to shine without it feeling over-bloated. Just beautifully done all-around.

Thank you for reading, loves. This week has been a hard one in my life as I drove back to Wilmington to say what may be my last goodbyes to one of my best friends who I've known since we were 11. Cancer is the B-word.

Cherish the ones you love. Tell them often that you care. Make memories. Build dreams. Chase hope. Live this life, dagnabbit. I believe in you.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #Lucy x tim #Tim x Lucy #The Rookie #Meta

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