#J have a lot of commentary I could make

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Why I Dislike Rhysand, Part 2: #NotMyHighLord

Part 2 in the rant I have suppressed for the past several years. Rhysand Stans, be warned, this is not for you. Be prepared to see critiquing of SJM’s writing as well. Proceed at your own risk!! 

I feel like this section of the rant is going to be the one that most people have seen, heard, or expressed themselves already. I myself have seen many posts and takes on this before. There will probably be the least amount of original ideas in this post. Nonetheless, I can’t turn down an opportunity to finally say it in my own words. 

In Part 1 of my rant (and many other posts), I discussed how Sarah J Maas blatantly has an insane sort of obsession with Rhysand. It is impossible not to notice and acknowledge if you read the series from start to finish. All it takes is about 2 minutes listening to her speak about anything related to him for you to see it as well. He is unequivocally Her Favorite and she has demonstrated that by deeming him to be THE MOST of many different things, especially in comparison with others. I made a post last summer about how I really struggle to define what I think of Sarah as an author overall. She has given me some of my favorite fictional characters of all time, written scenes and exchanges between characters that I carry in my heart and soul and overall provided me with an endless amount of entertainment. On the other hand, a GLARING fault I find there to be with her is that she often writes in an extremely puzzling and contradictory way: beating us over the head with something about a character she presents as being true, verbally stated through the dialogue of characters or through the narrative of the story, while having these characters act and behave in a totally OPPOSITE way to the way they are being described by everyone. And this obviously contradictory behavior is never addressed by anyone in the story--or if it is, the ones calling attention to it are vilified and shown in a negative light, even though they are providing commentary on actions carried out canonly by these characters. 

In the simplest form, it’s like this: The author creates a character who others routinely say is the most kind, unselfish, loving, and generous person to grace the planet. An opportunity will NEVER be lost to state these things, through the narrative and through the dialogue of other characters. The fandom comes to accept these things as totally canon traits. You hear the author repeat these same beliefs. The character becomes a favorite of the fandom, who praises him/her for being so kind and selfless. You get excited to read about such a character and open the book yourself. . .only to find scene after scene where the character acts in a way that is cruel, selfish, and arrogant. All while everyone else continues to laud them for being so wonderful. There is a direct contradiction between what you’re seeing and what you’re being told. Tons and tons of readers seem to find nothing unusual about this. You’re left with the feeling that you’re in some kind of insane asylum where nothing makes sense but no one questions it. 

This is the feeling I get whenever I hear about what an amazing High Lord Rhysand is. 

As we’ve established, SJM is obsessed with Rhys. Therefore, she automatically makes Rhys the best at whatever he does. One day I’d love to do a drinking game where we take a shot every time someone reminds us that Rhys is The Most Powerful High Lord In Prythian’s History (he should really just get that phrase trademarked at this point). But in addition to that, we are also often reminded about what a good, just, fair, and progressive beloved ruler he is. 

Rhys as High King: he could think of no other male he’d trust more. No other male who would be a fairer ruler than Rhys. And with Feyre as High Queen. . .Prythian would be blessed to have such leaders. (Cassian, ACOSF, page 451) 

There are a lot of ACOTAR lines that provoke actual visceral anger and disgust in me. This is probably in my All Time Top 3.

Yeah, Rhysand is SUCH a great High Lord!! Didn’t you know. . . there are no slums in Velaris!!

There’s just, you know, female mutilation going on in the mountains!

Where to even BEGIN unloading? 

I guess I’ll begin here: One of the reasons I strongly dislike Rhysand as a character is because he’s a terrible High Lord.

(And what makes me infuriated and passionately dislike Rhysand is the fact that we are beaten over the head by what an exceptionally wonderful High Lord he is despite the glaring faults shown in the text). 

I really really fail to understand how anyone can believe any differently, when it is canonly stated that two thirds of Rhysand’s court are hellish and terrible places. Women are oppressed and mutilated, people who are brutal and cruel are basically given free reign to do as they please, there is not an ounce of respect given to their so-called true ruler. 

And Rhys, “The Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History” has done. . .nothing. Nothing to truly change either of these places. 

Let’s start with Illyria. 

We all know how horrible life is for Illyrian females. They are forbidden to train, are viewed as vessels for breeding, and have their wings clipped at a young age so they can’t fly. Cassian’s mother is raped by an Illyrian warrior and then worked to death, when her body is dumped off a cliff. Azriel’s mother has her young son taken from her by the male who sired him and relies on his mercy as to when he can be released from his literal prison cell to see him. Rhys’s mother was starving herself so she wouldn't get her period, which is when her wings would have been clipped when she was saved from her fate by his father’s mating bond. Emerie and her mother are horrifically abused by her father, resulting in her mother’s death. Emerie tells Nesta and Gwyn that he would slam her head into walls, crunch her fingers in doors, and that he broke her fucking back. Like most females, her wings are clipped so she’s unable to fly. Upon her father’s death, she gains control of his store much to the displeasure of her male family members who frequently harass and threaten her about it. 

It’s plain to see that these are not randomly occurring isolated situations. Abuse can happen anywhere, with anyone, but there is CLEARLY a cultivated system of abuse and oppression among Illyrian females. Rhys tells us that he has banned the clipping of Illyrian female wings and is slowly working towards implementing changes that will allow women to have more freedom and choices. He tells Feyre that the Illyrians are “slow to change” and that it will take a long time to completely undo the way they’ve lived their lives for centuries. 

I’m sorry, I call BULLSHIT.

The attempts we’ve seen towards this so far in the story have been half-assed at best. Rhysand makes these laws but doesn’t put anything into place to actually enforce them. In ACOMAF, we get this from Devlon, the war lord who rules over the Windhaven camp:

“Another inspection? Your dog,” he jerked his chin toward Cassian, “was here just the other week. The girls are training.”

Rhysand’s strategy to prevent female wing clipping: Tell the violent sexist males with all the power in the camps that it’s banned. Send Cassian in once a week to check up on it. 

That’s it. 

Allow me to demonstrate how utterly ridiculous and contradictory this is.

In ACOMAF, we have the scene where the IC visits the Court of Nightmares (oh don’t worry, we’ll touch on this place in a bit). Right before their departure, Keir insults Feyre and calls her a whore. (Sidenote: no one should ever be called a whore and I am no way in the SLIGHTEST defending Keir but honestly, I don’t know what Rhys expected. It’s like when Rhys goes out of his way to act evil and do evil things and then everyone takes offense to people calling him evil. He dresses Feyre up in skimpy revealing clothing, has her sit on his lap on his throne, and proceeds to basically finger her in front of an entire throne room of people. It’s stated a million times that fae can sense and smell arousal, and both her and Rhys are both completely turned on by this. Feyre calls HERSELF his whore: “The High Lord’s whore. Who I’d become Under the Mountain--who the world expected me to be. The dangerous new pet that Mor’s father would now seek to feel out.” Like. . .buddy, you have her play and act the part of “The High Lord’s whore” and make a public scene in front of a man who has no respect for women, and then are enraged when he calls her a whore. What did you think he would do?? How did you think he would respond?? It’s almost like he was purposely trying to goad Kier into a reaction so he could punish him for it, honestly). 

ANYWAY. . .Keir calls Feyre a whore. And Rhys loses his shit:

Night exploded into the room.

People cried out. And when the darkness cleared, Keir was on his knees.

Rhys still lounged on the throne. His face a mask of frozen rage.

“Apologize”, Rhys said. My heart thundered at the pure command, the utter wrath.

Keir’s neck muscles strained, and sweat broke out on his lip.

“I said,” Rhys intoned with such a horrible calm, “apologize”.

The Steward groaned. And when another heartbeat paused--

Bone cracked. Keir screamed.

And I watched--I watched as his arm fractured into not tow, not three, but four different pieces, the skin going taut and loose in all the wrong spots--

Another crack. His elbow disintegrated. My stomach churned.

Keir began sobbing, the tears half from rage, judging by the hatred in his eyes as he looked at me, then Rhys. But his lip formed the words, I’m sorry.

The bones of his other arm splintered, and it was an effort not to cringe.

Rhys smiled as Keir screamed again and said to the room, “Should I kill him for it?”

No one answered.

Rhys chuckled. He said to his Steward, “When you wake up, you’re not to see a healer. If I hear that you do. . .” Another crack--Keir’s pinkie finger went saggy. The male shrieked. “If I hear that you do, I’ll carve you into pieces and bury them where no one can stand a chance of putting you together again.”

Keir’s eyes widened in true terror now. Then, as if an invisible hand had struck the consciousness from him, he collapsed to the floor.

Rhys said to no one in particular, “Dump him in his room”. 

Now. . .does this in ANY way, shape, or form seem like a man who has trouble getting people who are opposed to him to do what he wants them to do?????????

Rhys doesn’t even move off of his throne and he has Keir groveling on the floor with his arm shattered into pieces. It takes no effort whatsoever on his part. He is, after all, The Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History, in case you’d forgotten. He later laments to Feyre about how ashamed he is for her to see “that side” of him. Feyre says:

“You’re my friend--and I understand that you’re High Lord. I understand that you will defend your true court, and punish threats against it.”

DO YOU SEE THE RIDICULOUSNESS AT PLAY HERE.

Sarah. You can not have it both ways. You can not have Rhys claim that he is “doing all he can” to defend the Illyrian females and protect them from the violent males in their lives and then simultaneously give us this scene. Keir hates Rhys’s guts and I’m sure would gladly not only refuse every order he gave him, but also run him through with a sword. Does it seem like any bit of this matters in this moment? 

One of the responses to this I stumbled across on Reddit literally floored me. Someone brought up this very argument, that Rhys had more power to control the situation in Illyria if he really wanted to, and I saw several people respond with: “Well, if he literally tried to control them, either through physical intimidation or mind control, then he’d be a tyrant, and that’s not who Rhys is. That’s not who he wants to be. Is that really what you’re suggesting?? You want him to be a tyrant who controls people???”

Um. . .YES???

Like. . .do these people hear what they’re saying??? Do they understand the concept of “context matters”????. Do I want Rhys to walk around flaunting his power over innocent law abiding citizens of the Night Court who are minding their own business and not hurting anybody? Obviously no. But do I want him to use his power in a meaningful way to punish people who are physically mutating and beating women to death??? Hello??? The lengths some people will go to to defend this man is incredible.

What is the POINT of Rhysand having all this power if he doesn’t use it to defend the good and the innocent??? What is the POINT of him being “tHE mOsT poWERful HiGH lORD in PryTHIAN’S hIsTorY” if he sits on his power while innocent people in his court are being abused under his watch???

Spoilers for Queen of Shadows: To me, this is like someone saying Lysandra shouldn’t slit Arobynn’s throat in his sleep because it would make her a murderer. Is that what I want??? For Lysandra to be a murderer?? Does the average person deserve to have their throat slit in their sleep?? No. But does Arobynn?? YES. 

These Illyrian males, if they are behaving in the ways we hear about in the story, DESERVE to have their asses handed to them by Rhysand! They DESERVE whatever punishment comes their way! Don’t want your arm shattered into a million pieces?? Don’t fucking mutilate and beat your wife!!! Easy as that!!

For real change to come about in the Illyrian camps, there needs to be a zero tolerance policy, with public punishment and humiliation, to send a message to everyone that this kind of thing will no longer be tolerated under any circumstances. There needs to be trustworthy people from Rhys’s court stationed there at all times to actually enforce this. I’m not saying that there wouldn't be things that slip past the enforcers, or that Rhys and the Inner Circle have the power to actually change the will and opinions of the males who do this kind of thing. They almost certainly won’t gain any respect from these males. But at the end of the day, it’s very simple. You don’t have to like it, or us, but you WILL stop partaking in this behavior. If you don’t, your consequence is going to be so severe you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it. 

One might ask, This seems pretty straightforward, why hasn’t Rhys attempted anything like this already?? If these males are willing to commit such evil deeds, why even waste his time at all with them? Who CARES if they go rogue and refuse to fight for him anymore? Could it possibly be because he needs the Illyrian soldiers as the main component of his armies? He doesn’t want to outwardly anger these war generals so strongly that they no longer cooperate or associate with him? 

So, what you’re saying is. . .Rhys turns a blind eye to female abuse in his court . .because he needs the might from these people in his armies.

If I’m wrong and you have a rebuttal, I’m all ears. But I’m not really sure what other conclusion I’m supposed to arrive at. Rhys CAN control, humiliate, and intimidate powerful people who go against him. But he’s choosing not to do it here. . .why? Because controlling and intimidating people is bad?? Even if it’s directed towards those who are killing and mutilating innocent people?? I don’t understand and I don’t think I ever will. 

Honestly, I thought the reason Illyria was being left as such a mess was deliberately done, because that was what Nesta’s story and arc was going to revolve heavily around. When they announced in that teaser way back in 2018 that she was going with Cassian to train in the Illyrian mountains, I was fully convinced that that was how she was going to “find herself”, by changing the lives of the Illyrian women and empowering them. I thought she would be a major catalyst in whatever happened there. And. . .that’s not what happened. Maybe that part of the story is still yet to be told, maybe she’s saving it for Azriel’s book or something. . .who knows. For the time being, I guess it’s just there for aesthetics, so the Bat Boys can have a tragic backstory. Still, even if it DOES change in later books, I would still be left wondering why Rhys, who Sarah claims is as different from the other High Lords as humans are to fae, didn’t do something about it sooner. 

On the subject of Illyrians, let’s talk about Feyre and her shape-shifted Illyrian wings for a minute. I’m sure everyone knows what I’m going to say, and you might argue that this is a critique of Feyre’s character and not Rhys’s. I both agree and disagree with that and to explain my reasoning, we’re going to have to back up a little bit. 

I made a post a couple years ago about how Feyre’s title as High Lady holds no real weight in the ACOTAR world and is nothing more than a fancy title and a sign of respect from her husband. Which is admirable in it’s own right, but it’s not truly what all the stans make it out to be. It’s stated as canon fact in the series that the High Lord is determined by whoever this mystical force (is it supposed to be The Mother? I don’t even know) in each court chooses. It’s not a monarchy. If I don’t like my High Lord, I can’t go out and kill him and declare myself the new High Lord. The magic of the court decides who it is. That’s how you end up having people like Tamlin, who have no desire to be High Lord become one. 

Anyway, all of this means that Feyre is NOT equal in power to Rhys, no matter what title he gives her. Let’s pretend their dumb-ass suicide pact doesn’t exist and Feyre can live on if he were to die. If Rhys were to die, Feyre wouldn't continue on as the magical High Lady ruler of the Night Court, while they all just did without a High Lord. The magic would select someone else to be the High Lord, with no regard for her. Feyre is only “High Lady” because Rhys says she is. She has no magical tie to the Night Court. She is a ruler in title only.

Don’t like it? Doesn’t sound very feminist?? Yeah, I’d agree. And for some insane reason, TAMLIN is blamed for the lack of High Ladies in Prythian rather than, uh. . .the woman who created the magic system that made it this way!!! 

(Seriously, the fact that Tamlin is shit on for telling Feyre there are no High Ladies is asinine. Tamlin is not giving personal commentary, he is stating fact. Remember how shocked everyone is when the IC shows up to the High Lord’s meeting in ACOWAR and Rhys announces that Feyre is High Lady? There AREN’T any High Ladies of Prythian! But in ACOMAF, SJM has Rhys tell Feyre that there absolutely are. This is what I mean when I say SJM makes Rhys say and do completely nonsensical things simply for the sake of inflating him as a character. Logic doesn’t have to enter the conversation, if it makes him look good, that’s all that matters. Even if it directly contradicts something SHE wrote!!! It’s mind blowing, honestly). 

Wow, I got REALLY side tracked!! Anyway, you get the point: Feyre’s role as High Lady is really just a fancy title with no true magical tie behind it. But despite this, she is still Rhys’s wife, and therefore a certain level of respect is expected to be given to her. 

And if I were an Illyrian female, I’d find it REAL hard to conjure up any of that respect. 

In my opinion, SJM is guilty of not truly writing these characters with the scope that their immortality entails. Feyre is physically mature and an adult by human standards. But what constitutes an “adult” by fae standards? The IC is collectively thousands of years old. I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't have a hard time seeing someone in their early twenties as someone super young and naive. Especially if this someone wasn’t born a fae and was only transformed into one within the past couple years. 

Think about it. . .how many times have you had a conversation with someone who is older than you, maybe by generations, maybe by just several years and they’ve made comments about how young you are, or how “one day you’ll feel differently” or “one day you’ll understand”. They speak with a wisdom that they claim comes from simply existing longer and going through phases of life you haven’t reached yet. 

Now imagine somehow being over 500 years old and interacting with someone who is 21. They’d be an infant to you!! 

My point in saying this isn’t necessarily to say that I think Feysand’s relationship is creepy because he’s so much older than her. It’s really to say that, as I’ve stated, you can’t really hold Rhys and Feyre accountable in the same way as far as being high fae leaders goes. She hasn’t been alive even a fraction of the amount of time he has and she wasn’t born a fae. This isn’t her fault and I don’t think it’s something she should necessarily be disrespected for. She’s definitely smart and capable of making her own observations and decisions but at the end of the day, I don’t think you can really argue that it falls back on Rhys to help to guide and navigate her through this political life they lead. Rhys had been leading a country for 500 years by the time Feyre was shitting in diapers. Their experience is NOT the same. 

So at the end of the day, I think that Feyre’s use of Illyrian wings says as much about Rhys as it does about her. 

Imagine the pain and the anger you would feel as an Illyrian woman to see your so-called “High Lady” flaunting the wings you were born with and using them to escape to the freedom of the skies, something you had been denied of against your will. She knows nothing of the trials and tribulations you face each day, the abuse you endure. She was not born into your culture, nor does she take the time to try and help you, or get to know you, or learn about you. But she shifts the Illyrian wings onto her back and takes to the sky to do really important things like have sexual intercourse with the High Lord above the most populated city in the court, while you remain trapped on the ground. Imagine the anger you’d feel at your so-called High Lord, who allows his new wife to flutter around Velaris on perfect un-maimed wings, while claiming he wants to advocate for and protect you but does the bare minimum. 

To be clear: I most certainly hold Feyre accountable for this thoughtless decision. She is more than capable of deciding for herself what she feels is right and wrong. But as I’ve stated, I have a really hard time not also putting part of the blame on Rhys here. As I established, Feyre was not born into fae culture and she is a child compared to most of the fae living in the Night Court. Rhys, on the other hand, is over 500 years old, has Illyrian culture in his bloodline, and has been living among these people, leading them, for almost his entire life. I’d like to think he’d have the foresight to pull Feyre aside and explain to her that while she may not have initially considered it, it could be viewed as disrespectful and offensive for the Illyrian women to see her gallivanting around with Illyrian wings when most of theirs have been clipped. 

If I were an Illyrian women, I think it would be nearly impossible for me not to feel a strong bitterness towards Feyre and Rhysand. One could make the argument that Feyre is young and naive and doesn’t truly understand Illyrian culture. The same argument could NOT be said about Rhys. 

So thanks, High Lord, for flapping around shiny happy Velaris with your wife and her fake Illyrian wings, having kinky Illyrian wing sex, while doing the bare minimum to help and protect the women who were actually BORN with Illyrian wings. 

Alright, moving on from that mess, let’s touch on the Court of Nightmares. 

Now, a lot of what I have to say here is going to be the same as what I said about Illyria. But honestly, I feel like this place gets the even shorter end of the stick. 

One of the most truly bizarre things to me in the ACOTAR series is this idea that the people of Hewn City/the Court of Nightmares are somehow just all evil malicious wicked people who are happy to live sequestered in this underground kingdom. This is a super weird notion and I’m not sure at all how Sarah validates it. Especially when a character like Mor exists. You’re telling me she was the only “dreamer” born into the Court of Nightmares? No one else is suffering the way she was? I don’t get it. 

I’ve heard the argument made before that it’s quite possible that this kind of wickedness is specific only to Mor’s family. I’ve heard people say that we’ve never really seen anything in the Court of Nightmares other than the household she grew up in. So it’s actually quite plausible, people say, that the rest of the court is just a normal court, there’s no evidence to suggest that this kind of abuse is happening among the entire group of people. (They claim we are “reaching” for things to blame Rhys for). 

Yeah, NO. Sorry, that’s just a willfully stupid take. Here’s what we hear about this place from ACOMAF:

“The nobility of the Night Court fall into one of three categories: those who hated me enough that when Amarantha took over, they joined her court and later found themselves dead; those who hated me enough to try to overthrow me and faced the consequences; and those who hated me, but not enough to be stupid and have since tolerated a half-breed’s rule, especially when it so rarely interferes with their miserable lives.”

“Are they--are they the ones who live beneath the mountain?”

A nod. “In the Hewn City, yes. I gave it to them, for not being fools. They’re happy to stay there, rarely leaving, ruling themselves and being as wicked as they please, for all eternity.” 

That was the court he must have shown Amarantha when she first arrived--and its wickedness must have pleased her enough that she modeled her own after it. (pages 175-176)

Not enough to convince you? Here’s Mor explaining it in her own words:

“In the Court of Nightmares,” she went on, that voice falling soft and a bit cold once more, “females are. . .prized. Our virginity is guarded, then sold off to the highest bidder--whatever male will be of the most advantage to our families.”

‘I was born stronger than anyone in my family. Even the males. And I couldn’t hide it, because they could smell it--the same way you can smell a High Lord’s Heir before he comes to power. The power leaves a mark, an. . .echo. When I was twelve, before I bled, I  prayed it meant no male would take me as a wife, that I would escape what my elder cousins had endured: loveless, sometimes brutal, marriages.”

“But then I began bleeding a few days after I turned seventeen. And the moment my first blood came, my power awoke in full force, and even that gods-damned mountain trembled around us. But instead of being horrified, every single ruling family in the Hewn City saw me as a prize mare. Saw that power and wanted it bred into their bloodline, over and over again.”

Is everyone sufficiently convinced now? Okay great. 

And Rhys, by his own omission, allows them to “rule themselves” as a reward for not being foolish enough to challenge HIS authority.

But do they REALLY rule themselves?? Take a second and scroll back up to read the excerpt I already included where Keir calls Feyre a whore and Rhys absolutely wrecks him. Who does it seem like is really in charge here? 

I’m sorry, I get viscerally angry over this. In the Court of Nightmares scene, Keir is written 100% completely and totally as Rhysand’s groveling little bitch. He is literally nothing compared to Rhys. Rhys is total power and domination. Seriously:

He led me the few steps onto the dais--to the throne. He sat, smiling faintly at his monstrous court. He owned every inch of the throne. These people. (page 409)

Before Rhys, Keir was nothing more than a sullen child. Yet I knew Mor’s father was older. Far older. The Steward clung to power, it seemed. 

Rhys was power. (page 411) 

This entire scene honestly disgusts me and is so stupid. Rhys swaggers in and the entire throne room drops to one knee in submission. It’s told over and over that he exudes raw power that no one there can even hope to compete with. We’re told he “owns” the people, that Keir is nothing more than a child compared to him. He snaps his fingers and orders Keir to bring Feyre wine and he does it! Mor calls Rhys “Your High Lord” when speaking to Keir. Keir “grovels” when Rhys suggests that the wine he brought them is poisoned. And then the ordeal where he starts shattering bones in his arm one at a time, forbidding him from seeking any healing on pain of death, eventually knocking him out. 

SO IF THIS IS THE CASE. . .WHY. TOLERATE. KEIR. AT. ALL????????????????

If this is how easy it is to control this man, why on EARTH is he given one INCH of control in this place???? The whole scene loses its meaning entirely. . .why do they need to STEAL this orb from him?? In ACOWAR, why does Rhys need to BARGAIN with him about the use of his armies??? (at the expense of Mor’s feelings and security!!!!) Why are these people ALLOWED to treat females the way they treated Mor??!? 

There are two answers here and both of them are shitty:

Option 1) SJM just wants to write scenes to fulfill her dark!Rhys fetish. She needs the Court of Nightmares for her Rhys aesthetic. That’s where the true reason for scenes like this begin and end. She wants to write scenes where we all marvel and swoon at Rhys’s “raw power”. We don’t need logic, it has no place here. We’re supposed to ignore everything else and just swoon over Rhys, as usual. We’re not really supposed to think too hard about Keir because he’s literally just a prop that is there for the purpose of having Rhys flex his power. It’s the epitome of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. She wants all aspects of what makes Rhys sexy and doesn’t care how she makes it happen. She wants the hot, powerful, wicked High Lord we got to see in ACOTAR, but she also wants the saint she made him out to be in the rest of the series. So we’re just supposed to ignore the fact that in making it plainly obvious that he is able to control these people means that he should be able to apply this to making innocent people’s lives better down there but isn’t. 

Option 2) Rhys is deliberately allowing the wickedness and evil behavior to continue to put on a front for the rest of the world. He says that the Court of Nightmares is the version the outside world gets to see of the Night Court. It’s how Amarantha came to design her own court with it as an inspiration. It’s why everyone has such a negative view of the Night Court. Rhys is praised by the IC and pitied by much of the fandom for the “sacrifice” he makes in putting on this evil front and lets the world believe of him, in order to protect his “true” court--the Court of Dreams, the City of Starlight. I’m sorry, what sacrifice???? What is Rhys sacrificing of himself by doing this? He sits on his throne in total control and power while others grovel at his feet. I’m supposed to feel sorry for him that his reputation is being tarnished by the rest of the world seeing this while people like Mor are having nails driven into their bodies because they went against their family’s wishes regarding their virginity and marriage??? No, I’m sorry. The only people I feel sorry for are the people he is doing this on the backs of. Because the fact of the matter is: Rhys needs an evil court to put on this show for the rest of the world. And you can not have evil people without evil deeds. And you can not have evil deeds without victims. Evil people are evil because of their actions to other people. 

So Option 2 is. . .Rhys is allowing people to be abused in the Court of Nightmares and not putting a stop to it because he needs an “Evil Court” smokescreen to protect his REAL court. 

Again. . .do you see why I have such a hard time liking him???

Also, after ACOMAF the whole world knows about Velaris anyway. So there’s no need for a smokescreen evil court anymore. But has anything changed?? NOPE. 

Not only that. . .but if this is the face he puts on for the people of the Hewn City, this is who most of the people there probably believe him to truly be. If another female, or anyone else really, is in a horrible situation like Mor’s, what would make them think that Rhys is someone they could approach or reach out to for help? They're probably terrified of him! The whole situation is just so fucked up and awful. 

What’s also fucked up and awful is the fact that while all of this exists in both Illyria and the Hewn City, Rhys has a shelter/sanctuary in Velaris for abused women. Sorry, get your fake feminism out of here. You can’t stick that detail into the story and expect it to erase blatant abuse of women happening in two thirds of Rhysand’s court. . .under his watch!!!!! When he has the power to stop it!!! 

I’ve heard many people try and make the claim that Rhys is written to be contradictory in this way to prove that he is a “morally gray character” and to that, I call total bullshit. For one, allowing the blatant abuse of women when you have the power to stop it isn’t “morally gray” , its borderline irredeemable. And two, I’ve said it before. . .listen to SJM talk about Rhys. Read the ACOTAR series. This woman is so far up his butthole, I’m wondering if he somehow offered her her own riverfront mansion. She honestly believes him to be God’s gift to humanity!! 

So again, we’re back to my same age-old question: Is SJM a good writer or a bad writer?? I don’t really think it’s as simple as sticking one word on her writing to label it one way or the other. As I said, I’ve gotten immense enjoyment out of some of Sarah’s work and have been blown away by the places she takes her characters and stories. But in this case. . .it’s objectively awful. You’re giving me this character who you’re constantly telling me is good and righteous and incredible, beating me over the head with the level of worship he gets by the narrative, but then you’re making him do things that are like really blatantly terrible. And he faces NO accountability for it! Like???? You are the author??? You can control the things he does?? If you really believe that he’s that great, why don’t you just write him that way??? Why beat us over the head with how great he is, only to make him do awful things and then completely ignore them?? I’m telling you, it’s almost bizarre. . .like she’s seeing just how far she can go with what people will excuse. It's mind boggling!! 

(Honestly what’s even more mind boggling is the sheer number of people who lap this up and accept it completely. For the life of me, I can not understand how people are so blind to this stuff!) 

You can’t have it both ways, Sarah. You can’t tell us Rhys is the most powerful high lord ever born and expect me to believe that there’s nothing more he can do for Illyrian females and the “dreamers” of the Court of Nightmares. Especially when we’ve seen him demonstrate otherwise! Like I said earlier. . .if he’s not using his power for good, what is even the point of it?? 

So, to sum up: We are told over and over again how utterly powerful and incomparable Rhys is as well as what an honorable and giving High Lord he is. We see raw power displays from him where he swiftly and forcefully exerts brutal punishment on those who offend or go against him without so much as breaking a sweat. Despite this, he adopts a passive view on the Illyrians, banning wing clipping and the mistreatment of females but not doing anything to really enforce it, and continues to allow females in the Court of Nightmares to be abused and brutalized because he needs his evil Night Court aesthetic to protect the IC and Velaris. 

My Ick Factor is OFF THE CHARTS. 

And let me just end by saying….try and picture our Queen and Savior, Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius allowing the mutilation and abuse of women in Terrasen because “change is slow to happen”….and she needed some armies. AELIN WOULD NEVER.

It is a dream of mine to see her humble Rhys.

So, yeah. . .Rhys is a terrible High Lord. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Part 3 is probably my most highly anticipated rant---we’ll call it “Let’s Talk About Tamlin”. Coming soon! 

#acotar critical #acomaf critical #sjm critical #anti rhysand #illyrians #court of nightmares #morrigan

[ghostytoad]

🎃 ROTTMNT Halloween Headcanons 🎃

Horror Movies

Summary: The Hamato siblings & horror movies

Headcanons for: Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey, & April

Halloween Headcanons - Haunted House Edition

Halloween Headcanons - Haunted House (x Reader ver.)

i added a few horror movie references here and there (betcha can't name 'em all!)

Raph:

Favorite genre: Zombie horror

Least favorite genre: Gore/Torture

isn't too fond of horror movies; would rather watch action movies

he's convinced that 'based on a true story' movies are 100% real

easily jumpscared but tries to laugh it off every time

leo will tease him about his fear stink tho

believes twilight technically counts as horror

"it's a movie about vampires and high school! how'zat not scary?"

might watch horror movies alone if he's surrounded by plushies and his blanket

won't sleep all night tho

leaves the light on after a horror marathon "just in case"

Donnie:

Favorite genre: Psychological when done right; Time-loop horror

Least favorite genre: Found footage

isn't too bothered by horror movies

but plot holes will frustrate him to no end

and he WILL make his brothers listen to him rant about it afterwards

"SCOFF! he was OBVIOUSLY a ghost, literally no one else noticed him or talked to him!"

prefers j-horror (subbed even tho he understands japanese)

he doesn't have a favorite movie but he does like the japanese film 'horrors of malformed men' (江戸川乱歩全集恐怖奇形人間)

considers found footage horror movies inferior and 'lazy'

spends most of the movie criticizing the characters and making fun of the villain

was terrified of pennywise as a kid (dvd rental mix-up that went unnoticed by papa splinter)

for the longest time, he thought pennywise lived in their sewers

Leo:

Favorite genre: Slasher movies; Parody horror

Least favorite genre: Classic

he loves horror movies and binges them for halloween

joins in on donnie's commentary, which mildly annoys mikey and raph

most of leo's commentary is just making fun of his brothers

"oh hey, don bon! i had no idea you were on tv... congrats on the blob monster role~!"

finds silent horror movies to be incredibly booooring

enjoys campy 80s horror (evil dead 2, gremlins, creepshow, ect)

unironically considers killer klowns from outer space a masterpiece

is banned from picking movies bc of this

might get spooked from time to time

not that he'll admit it

nothing can shake this ninja warrior, nuh uh no way

Mikey:

Favorite genre: Paranormal/Ghost movies

Least favorite genre: Psychological

considers himself a "horror expert" and owns all the classics

likes to play "who would survive this plot" with his brothers during the movie

according to him, leo's usually the most likely to die first

has a plan for every possible zombie apocalypse scenario (that he totally didn't get from a bunch of zombie movies)

"i'm not saying that he *should*, but donnie could totally build a giant prison maze for ghosts. it'll be just like the movie!"

will occasionally watch scary movies alone in the dark

overestimates his fearlessness every time-

loves a good ghost movie but he's a bit of a scaredy cat

might need a few cutesy romance movies afterwards to feel better

April:

Favorite genre: Found footage

Least favorite genre: Slasher/Killer horror

loves a good horror movie binge and will jump on any chance to watch them with her brothers

always ready with halloween themed snacks and candies

is also a self-proclaimed "horror expert"

she knows a lot more than mikey tho

can tell you about the directors, the history of horror movies, and the stories the movies are based on with complete detail

"movie night at my place? i've got just the thing to scare y'all out of your shells~"

rec is probably one of her top 5 favorite movies

likes the idea of creating her own found footage horror movie

mikey, leo, and splinter are all on board to be in her movie

donnie and raph? not so much

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #donatello #leonardo #michelangelo #raphael #april o'neil #rise donnie #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #rise april #tmnt headcanons #rottmnt headcanons #headcanons #toady writes

[omgkalyppso]

So I really enjoyed the Orc Heritage Armour questline. After getting into dragonflight and Alexstrasza, Kalecgos and Khadgar kind of acting like they'd never met Borgakh (again), being welcomed and greeted by Thrall / Go'el and his family was so fucking delightful.

I'm going to post the screenshots from the final cutscene first and then a few more things with commentary below the cut.

-

Be warned it's long. You can press J to skip it on desktop if you open and change your mind.

-

Tbh, having not played dragonflight I thought they were about to throw Eitrigg into the Nathanos role and this was going to be related to world quests. I'm glad it wasn't. Eitrigg's history makes me uncomfortable.

I care them.

While I kind of wish they'd let Drek'thar cast from his wheelchair, it's also interesting to think of him having some mobility.

I know some people really don't like Aggra, but I have and do, and I found this delightful. A circle completed.

All the little moments with Durak were very sweet. Very grounding after other story elements in the main plot have gotten so convoluted and absurd.

Thank you, Rexxar, for also recognizing a title (Huntmaster). I was really thrown when Khadgar was back to calling you Adventurer and not either Champion, Hero, or My Friend — too open ended for people new to the game!! ^^;

I go back and forth with the Countess from the Court of Harvesters and Huntmaster titles when I run around with Borgakh because while I still hate shadowlands for what it did to the various in game religions (and the orcs especially since I'm biased) I think these titles would mean a lot to her. To be acknowledged and given the promise of authority / contribution / significance wrt Countess, and to be acknowledged by her peers wrt Huntmaster, which is also tied up in my favorite expansion and all the seeds of Horde and Alliance working to a better future together.

When it came to choosing a clan, I imagined Borgakh sharing a look with Aggra about how it was "obvious" that now, given the choice, that she would follow Thrall / Go'el anywhere. But unlike how it presents the player character as having never belonged to a clan, Borgakh has been for Years, headcanoned as part of the Warsong clan. I felt it added depth and weight to her struggles.

And then not only did Thrall / Go'el have The Weakest pitch for joining his clan (undoubtedly because they knew he and the Frost Wolves were going to sweep anyway), but I got to the choice screen and imagined the question for Borgakh as being, "But would I give up a core part of my identity for you?"

She is still part of his Horde, and she would die for him and his family, but I decided to keep her a member of the Warsong clan.

Borgakh has had maxed cooking in this game for like, ever. And that the final trial was to prepare a meal as an offering for her ancestors was something I really enjoyed. That the cookbook included a spicy as hell recipe from the Warsong was a bonus and reaffirmed my enjoyment of maintaining her membership with her clan.

I really appreciated this. After shadowlands? Bring me back to the uncertainty and faith of the past wrt what happens after death and the peace and connection with those lost and those who remain.

That this quest began with the premise that the orcs felt disconnected from each other and their culture and clans and this gathering and a new ceremony to replace the old coming of age ones that an orc could take part in regardless of age was very sweet. I have so many more screenshots of all the smaller npc's and things they've said in case I want to revisit it either for myself or for fic writing in the future. Loved it.

Thank you if you read my rambling.

#long post #world of warcraft #borgakh

[hum-suffer]

sorry about invading your ask box with that long essay. I know half of it is incoherent :') I just said all I could. The summary of it though is (in case you dont wish to read it all): I hated Ram. Couldnt understand why people were so crazy about him to the extent that the rich were racing to give away all their life earnings and the poor were making sure even their humble little huts are lit up for Ram that day. Then I read about the Hindu history. Became absolutely horrified. I felt scarred. Currently in the process of begging Ram to heal the ancestral wounds I am carrying deep within my soul. Trying to make my parents understand why the new Sita-Ram poster in my room is for spiritual needs. Hon'ble mentions- I finished Ami Ganatra's commentary on Ramayana and also listened to her explain a lot of the misconceptions I held. Also found J Sai Deepak. His book went slightly over my head but I am re-reading to understand it better. I love his speeches. Another guy who explains the hindu position brilliantly is Anand Rangnathan imo. Some of his arguments were actually what contributed in my disillusionment. I am currently reading his "Hindus in Hindu Rashtra"

Don't feel sorry at all, my dear, it's completely fine!

I'm absolutely proud of you for taking up the courage and determination to seek the answers for yourself. Siya Ram would be proud of you regardless, as long as you're happy and your happiness doesn't strike down someone else's.

I'm glad that you're learning new things as well as trying to solve the misconceptions you had, my dear. These people are some great sources, especially Anand Ranganathan in his neutral and brutal view of the political situation in our country.

I wish you all the very best for your understanding of the new perspective you have seen and i will always help you, should you ever ask for it

#hindublr #shri ram

[notemily]

actual guide for new tumblr users, from Twitter or otherwise

yeah so I decided to do one of these. I'm just someone who has been here since 2007 and wants to help people who are new to the site and have no idea what's happening. Twitter seems to be in its death throes as I write this, and while the posts about driving down the property values are funny, I'd like to actually try and help out.

many people have made posts that are like "get an icon and post something or else people will think you're a bot" so I'll just assume you've seen one of those already. I want to focus more on the things you need to know to acclimate to tumblr culture. so:

general tips:

like things if you want to like things. people will tell you liking doesn't do anything, that only reblogs do stuff, but that's not quite true. only reblogs will get the people who follow you to see it on their dashboard (circulating the post further through the tumblr ecosystem), but likes will let the OP know you liked it, let the person who reblogged it onto your dash know you liked it, and probably do something complicated involving the "based on your likes" algorithm but I really don't know how that works. also, the like will stick around, so if you see the post reblogged from someone else much later, your little heart will still be highlighted in red.

you can control a lot about what you see on your dashboard from the settings page! on desktop, go into settings - account and settings - dashboard to change things. most people turn off "best stuff first" and just use the chronological feed, but you do you, new user. I personally hate endless scroll, so I turned that off, but I love timestamps, so I turned those on. for bonus fun, go into settings - labs and there are extra tabs you can add to your dash.

but what about turning off anonymous asks? on desktop, this setting, weirdly, is in the "Edit appearance" page for your blog. you can also turn replies off there, allow only people you follow to message you, and hide your blog from search results. there are a lot of random settings in there, so make sure to take a look. (app results may vary.)

you might notice that one of the settings is for filtered tags and filtered post content. this is why it's important not to censor things here that might be triggering for some folks - because someone out there has "rape" filtered, and if you go around saying "r*pe," that's not going to be caught in their filter. also, at this time there are no word police who will come after you for saying "kill" or "die," so you don't need to use euphemisms like "unalive" on tumblr. you can also swear as much as you want.

blaze: tumblr blaze is a relatively new feature where you can pay actual money to have your post forced onto random people's dashboards. beware, if you use this for something people don't want to see, you will get mocked. if you use it to show everyone your cat, you're probably fine.

there are two basic uses for #tags: organizational (putting your post into a category, like tagging it with the name of the fandom it's relevant to) and editorial (adding extra commentary that you don't want to add in the post itself). a lot of people will use both, a lot of people will use neither. when people like your editorial tags enough, they'll copy or screenshot them and add them to the body of the post. this is known as "passing peer review" and is a compliment.

memes and inside jokes You Should Know:

do you love the colour of the sky? is an extremely long image post (showing all the colors a sky could possibly be) that takes a long time to scroll past, and back in the olden days (2012) it was ubiquitous on tumblr. these days you can shorten long posts automatically using your dashboard settings (see above), or use the "j" keyboard shortcut to go directly to the next post if you're on desktop, but we still remember it fondly and refer to it constantly because nothing dies here, especially not memes.

the color theory children's hospital post is another one of those things you'll see a million references to if you're on here for any length of time.

you cannot kill me in a way that matters is a post that you might have seen in screenshots elsewhere online, but it started here! other memes that originated on tumblr: spiders georg, me an intellectual, graphic design is my passion, etc.

blorbo from my shows is a phrase used to refer to your latest favorite character. it started as a joke, but tumblr has a way of taking jokes and making them a thing, so now it's a thing. see also poor little meow meow.

tumblr holidays: anything people on tumblr can make into a holiday or anniversary, we will. most of them you'll see as they happen, and they're often self-explanatory, but you should probably read up on November 5 2020 if you don't know about it already.

horse plinko: tumblr loves this one for some reason.

I like your shoelaces / thanks, I stole them from the president: this was supposedly the "secret code" to identify a tumblr user in real life. (you can buy shoelaces directly from tumblr now, but that's a recent development.)

then perish: speaking of the president, if you see Obama's eyes with a very orange tint, this is the meme it's referencing.

ball-shaving ads: ads from the personal grooming company Manscaped were/are(?) ubiquitous on tumblr, to the point that some have theorized that tumblr was deliberately saturating people's dash with the ads so that they'd be more likely to pay for ad-free browsing. and one of the ads for ad-free reads "shave off ads from your dashboard," so like, they might be onto something.

world heritage posts: there are various tumblrs that compile the best of tumblr, anything that's particularly iconic or has become a meme. there are even heritage post blogs for specific fandoms.

tumblr history:

there are three basic eras of tumblr history:

classic tumblr era 2007-2013: David Karp started tumblr in 2007, and it grew in popularity and weirdness for many years. porn was allowed: the original tumblr adult content policy read "sure, go nuts, show nuts, whatever."

Yahoo/Verizon era 2013-2019: Yahoo famously bought tumblr in 2013 for $1 billion. ads started showing up on tumblr in 2012, so this is also around when tumblr started to monetize. Yahoo was eventually bought by Verizon, and in December 2018, they announced they were banning porn, which sucked. everyone predicted the death of tumblr, but it limped on, with about a 30% decrease in traffic. (source for that statistic)

Automattic era 2019-present: in 2019, Automattic bought tumblr from Yahoo for like $3 million or something. Automattic owns WordPress, and they seem to understand tumblr's userbase better than the Yahoo folks did. they've recently instituted a more nuanced adult content policy, but because of Apple's strict policy for what gets included in the App Store, credit card processors refusing to process payments for porn, and other restrictions, tumblr can't go back to being the porn-allowed free-for-all it once was. see this post for a full explanation of why.

various April Fool's jokes have included Coppy (2015), Mishapocalypse (2013), and most recently, the button that makes crabs. expect April 1st to be extra chaotic on tumblr.

Tumbeasts - the tumblr version of the Twitter Fail Whale, designed by Matthew Inman of the Oatmeal. not sure if they're extinct now, or if the site just doesn't go down like it used to.

Dashcon - tumblr tried to have a convention once. it didn't go well. the photo with the sad ball pit is used as shorthand to reference the disaster that was Dashcon.

SuperWhoLock is a name for the fandom crossover between Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock, which were all juggernauts on tumblr at one time. the fandom supposedly "died off" after 2014, but see above re: nothing dies here.

female presenting nipples - when tumblr introduced the Porn Ban in 2018, they used this phrase in the community guidelines. they've since updated their nudity policy, but the phrase will live forever, because come on, tumblr is a website full of queer and/or trans folks. if you think you're getting away with a weasel phrase like "female presenting nipples" without being mocked all over the website, you're extremely wrong.

John Green: an author who used to be on tumblr, back when you could edit someone else's tumblr post when you reblogged it. his text posts were regularly edited to make it look like he had said things he didn't. someone edited one of his posts to be about how much he loves a certain sex act, which was probably not THE reason they removed the ability to edit others' posts, but like, it didn't help. John Green was eventually harassed so much he left tumblr. opinions are divided on whether this was hilarious or sad. (something I discovered while researching for this post: the author of the Your Fave Is Problematic tumblr [which was part of the wave of anti-John Green content] wrote a confessional New York Times article in 2021. pull quote: "I just wanted to see someone face consequences; no one who'd hurt me ever had.")

XKit: used to be THE browser extension for tumblr. it was made by "the xkit guy," who seems to have been harassed off the site in 2015. the extension was replaced by New XKit, which worked for a while. these days a lot of XKit's features have been either rendered obsolete by tumblr adding them to its settings, or broken by tumblr interface updates, and the new hotness is XKit Rewritten. want to block a specific post from ever appearing on your dash, see who your mutuals are, stop seeing notifications on one specific post (great feature for if you accidentally go viral)? install it and play around with the settings. there are accessibility features too!

...and now I've made it look like people regularly get harassed off tumblr. WELCOME, NEW USER, TO THE HELLSITE! but for real, part of why I put this post together was so if someone starts in on tumblr Discourse and mentions people who have been harassed off the site, you can nod wisely and go "ah, yes, I have heard tell of this." just to give you some kind of context for things.

anyway, I'm always happy to Explain The Joke, provided it's a joke that I get, so if you see something that looks like a tumblr in-joke and want context, my ask box is open. just don't ask me about Homestuck. I know nothing about Homestuck and at this point I'm not sure I want to.

in conclusion, new user: go forth, be weird, become a part of the culture. I hope this guide has helped!

#anyone who tells me queer is a slur will be blocked #welcome to tumblr #the weird site for weirdos #twitter migration #twitter refugees #twitter exodus #how to tumblr #long post #tumblr history #i feel like i haven't seen a manscaped ad in a while #but they were everywhere less than a year ago #my posts

[theweeklydiscourse]

i'd be fascinated in seeing you write discourse on throne of glass, it really has a lot to unpack... i love your acotar commentary!

Now that’s an interesting idea! I got halfway through the first book in 2020 before I got distracted by another series, but I picked it up again in 2021 and read all the way to the end in rapid succession. I’d heard about Sarah J Maas’s writing before and I was exposed to some divided opinions on the qualities of her writing. Some hated it, but most people loved it and I decided to read the series so I could draw my own conclusions about the state of her books.

Long story short, I did not like her writing. But, there are certain aspects of TOG that make me prefer it to ACOTAR.

But, I read the series all the way through so I could make an informed assessment and critique of her writing without getting things wrong. Like you said, there is a lot to unpack and if I decide to reread the series at some point I’ll definitely write about it. Off the top of my head I have about three things in the TOG series (in no particular order) that have captured my attention.

1) The books in the Throne of Glass series should not be nearly as long as they are

One of my professors always told us to make every word count in our essays to create concise writing and I wish Maas had an editor who would tell her the same thing. Many of the books in TOG are bloated and could be improved if Maas would just cut down on some of the material in her books. There’s a lot of unnecessary fluff that pads out nearly all of her novels and it makes the pacing of the story very poor and uneven. This is particularly noticeable in her habit of creating a vast wasteland of nothing for chapters and chapters before finally reaching the REAL action (at which point the book ends and the reader questions their life choices)

2) The racism in TOG is impossible to overlook

I can’t even discuss Nehemia’s death without raging. Describing the way she died feels so surreal, it’s like Maas shoved her hand into a glass jar of racist tropes and pulled out a handful of them. Another detail I distinctly remember from reading Heir of Fire was when I was reading Sorsha’s description for the first time and noticed that she had “tan” skin and looked like she was of Eyllwe descent and I thought: she’s going to die, isn’t she? AND LO AND BEHOLD, yet another WOC killed in the most brutal way imaginable to advance the character arcs and angst of white characters. I got downvoted to hell on the Throne of Glass subreddit for pointing it out, but it must be said.

3) I was disappointed by Manorian.

This particular grievance is something I’ll elaborate more on in the future because to me, it represents a larger problem in Maas’s writing that should be addressed more often. I intend to write about his more in the future.

Also thank you so much for the compliment! I’m so glad that you liked my commentary on ACOTAR :)

#throne of glass #heir of fire #Queen of midnight #dorian havilliard #manon blackbeak #manorian #nehemiah #sjm critical

[bi-bard]

There's So Much I Wanna Tell You, But I Don't Know If It'll Fit - Joel Miller Imagine [The Last of Us]

Title: There's So Much I Wanna Tell You, But I Don't Know If It'll Fit

Pairing: Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller X Reader

Word Count: 1,177 words

Warning(s): none that I know of

Summary: [Inspired by "Sunday Crossword" by J. Maya] Joel and (Y/n) attempt to maintain a boundary between them. However, their feelings grow regardless of what they want and they're left questioning if that boundary was set out of respect or out of fear.

Author's Note: I'm working on the next part of this OC, but I wanted to write something simple and cute.

--------------------

There was a period of time when I was convinced that I was happier before I met Joel.

It felt like there was a lot less stress then.

It wasn't that Joel didn't treat me well. He did. Very well. But that on its own was a problem.

Joel and I had been going on casual dates for a while. Coffee or lunch together, we'd meet for a movie or a drink, we'd go for walks together. It was all very... safe.

Joel never stayed the night at my house. I had never even been to his. We never used any kind of label for what we were. We were seeing each other, we were exclusive, but calling ourselves seemed careless. In all honesty, it felt like I was in high school all over again.

I always understood Joel's hesitance. He had a daughter. I had never heard a dad talk so much about how proud they were of their kid. He saw her as nothing less than the sun. I could just see it. Bringing anyone new into his life had to be done with caution because they would become a part of her life too. I respected that.

But that didn't change my growing feelings for him. I couldn't count the number of times that I had to physically bite my tongue to keep myself from saying that I loved him.

It was awful.

The dynamic that I had with Joel was something that I had imagined having. Sweet and loving and funny. It was almost perfect.

And yet, I couldn't say the one thing that I wanted to say most.

I didn't think that I ever would get that chance.

Until we went to the movies one night.

I had mentioned to Joel that there was a horror movie coming out that I had wanted to go see. He offered to go with me one weekend while Sarah was over at a friend's house.

"'28 Days Later,'" Joel read off the ticket as we waited at concessions. "Never heard of it."

"It's set in London after some kind of illness has set in and turned the people into monsters driven by pure rage," I explained.

"I see... social commentary?"

"Shut up," I replied, chuckling at him. "You'll like it. I think. If you don't... I'll pay for dinner next time."

"You've got yourself a deal," he grinned at me. I nodded.

There was a moment before I spoke up again, "Thank you for this, by the way."

"You've got nothing to thank me for," he muttered before leaning over to kiss the side of my head. I felt myself bite my tongue as he leaned back. It was an instinct now.

Despite all of the hesitation, moments like these were the best.

Or they usually were.

When Joel leaned back, I saw him look past me and his face dropped. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around, looking for someone who was looking at us.

"Joel," I said once I didn't see anyone. "What's going on?"

"My daughter's here," he replied.

"Really," I asked.

He nodded.

"You said that she was at a friend's house."

"Because I thought she was," he explained. "I didn't know they had plans to come see a movie."

I chuckled.

"What?"

"You're acting like a teenager getting caught by their parents," I shrugged. "I'm not sneaking into your room so we can make out. We're two adults on a date."

"I just... I wanted to plan this better."

"I know," I nodded. "But the universe doesn't really give a shit what you plan."

"Yeah... you're right."

A new voice joined the conversation, "Dad?"

"Here we go," he muttered before looking at his daughter. "Hey... what are you doing here?"

"Could ask you the same question," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm here to see a movie," he said. "With a friend."

I waved. "I'm (Y/n)."

Sarah looked back and forth between us for a few moments. "Are you guys on a date?"

I tried to hide the shocked laugh that wanted to escape me. I looked over at Joel, who didn't look away from her.

"Yeah... we are," Joel admitted. "We have been for a little while now."

"I knew it!" she pointed at him. "I knew you didn't have that many friends to be meeting that often."

"Hey!" he replied.

"Anyway," she turned to me. "It's nice to meet you. I have to get back to my friends."

I nodded. "Have fun. It was nice meeting you too."

I turned back to Joel, who was very clearly tense. Again, he looked like a teenager getting caught by his parents.

"Hey," I touched his arm. "That went about as well as could be expected."

"Yeah, yeah... you're right."

"I often am."

"Alright," he mumbled. "Come on. Line's moving."

I just chuckled to myself before continuing to walk forward.

We stayed pretty much silent until we got into the theater. We were early, mostly because of my insistence. We found our spots, waiting for the rest to fill up and for the film to start.

I felt my mind starting to wander. The thing that Joel was most worried about was his daughter. But now, I've met her. We seemed to be fine with each other, even though it had only been a few moments. So... that should be at least somewhat resolved. Right?

I didn't need to hesitate anymore, right?

"You alright?"

I looked over at Joel when he spoke up.

"You're not already scared enough to leave, are you?"

"Shut up," I nudged him. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I just... I need to say something and I don't know how you're gonna respond to it," I said. "It's... It's nothing bad. I don't think so, at least."

"Then I probably won't think so either," he replied. "Come on... tell me."

I took a deep breath before speaking up. "Joel... I love you."

There was a long pause. One where we were just looking at each other and not a single word was spoken. I felt a sense of dread in my stomach. I wanted to go hide in a hole somewhere. I had overstepped. I had been so careful and I still fucked it up. And now I was gonna lose the best thing that I had ever had.

I was ready to push myself out of my seat and leave him there. "I'm sorry-"

"Hey," Joel grabbed my hand. "I... I love you."

"Really?"

"Yeah... I just... I didn't want to rush you into something."

"Oh," I muttered. "That's why I didn't say anything."

"A pair of geniuses here, aren't we," he chuckled, relaxing a bit more into his seat.

"Yeah, guess so.

I leaned over and hesitantly rested my head on his shoulder. I only truly relaxed when I heard a quiet hum come from Joel as he did so.

I grinned to myself.

And just like that, the best thing I had ever had became even better.

--------------------

Author's Note: For just a dash of additional heartbreak, the U.S release of 28 Days Later was in June of 2003, so this all happened and then Joel and (Y/n) got like three months together before the world went to shit.

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #imagine #x reader #fanfiction #the last of us x reader #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine

[2af-afterdark]

I'm now legally obligated to send these in when people send Virgin Killer asks, I hope you understand that /j

Since you did the kings reacting to Virgin Killers, I deposit another commentary on which characters are absolutely rocking it:

But only a handful that I think are interesting cuz I actually invested attention into them

Eligos and Paimon: They rock that shit.

My thoughts for Eligos in a Virgin Killer are similar to my thoughts on Nu: Carnival's Aster in a Virgin Killer. They both accessorize that shit. Eligos isn't popping out in some plain grey VK sweater like the ones that pop up on when you search online. If that shit isn't in his signature colors with bows and a flattering hemline, he isn't wearing it, end of story.

For Paimon, also lots of accessories, probably more varied than Eligos, more colors, since Paimon's cuteness aesthetic has a wider color palette. Would bedazzle the VK sweater at least parially, perhaps add a frill trim to the hemline. Either way, it will be cute, and he will spill blood on it at least once.

Phenix: It's fucking Phenix

Phenix is probably one of, if not the only one, who could somehow make the VK sweater more sexual, by not even altering it. That being said, he probably would. I can see him deciding it's not tight enough and cutting off strips of the fabric before sewing it back up so it has to stretch around him. The way his outfit is designed, I could see him replacing the main piece of his bodysuit and wearing the VK with his red top and cloak instead. It wouldn't be tight enough to show off as much of his figure, but he'd also have his entire back and man tiddies out.

Marbas: Imagine how his restraints normally look. Now imagine those straps around that fucker, but in a tight black VK.

Dude free balls it on the regular, and judging by the full body character card I found online, is totally hung. The placement of his restraints, the ones going down the middle of his neck and chest and circling around his hips, already reminded me of a VK, and the fabric for a VK probably wouldn't be so uncomfortable that he'd instantly say no either. I mean, his comic panel jokes about angels retreating after seeing his dick, give the man a VK and let his dick swing free, angel problem fixed.

Dantalian: This is self indulgent, VK doesn't fit his helpless victim motif that he likes to play up to aggro angels, but in all fairness, I find this man adorable in a hot way, so he's included.

Just, picture this sexy motherfucker, if you're into him, I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, just in a VK, ripped and torn, just all roughed up. Tied up in ropes, body covered in graffiti, lookin like he just got jumped. It may not fit with the rest of his costumes, but still. Plus, dude's got nice legs and at least one nipple piercing, he'd look great in it.

Azathoth (Secret Shop Keeper): I'm writing this one as a joke

I can't stop imagining this man as a fucking cryptid who would walk past literally every demon in hell in the sluttiest (said positively) VK sweater imaginable, for a month, before disappearing for a week, and showing back up dressed in his normal clothes and gaslighting the entirety of hell into thinking they all just had one massive joint hallucination

can you tell i have fun with these?

There are so many here. Please just read them. Marbas made me chuckle.

#❖ impulsive gay everything #love letters ❤️ #talkin' whb

[stormblessed95]

Stormy, I'm a little bit trusfrated.

Why do people keep dismissing Jikook acts of love? Why do they compare apples with oranges and say that orange is an apple?

I'm talking about the Jimin visited JK on his birthday vs Jimin visited Hobi for his solo stage (which solidified my love for both J-Hope, Jimin and Jihope even more).

Why do people have to use one act of love to dismiss another act of love?

I don't get the need to always use one example to try and falsify every thing Jikook do.

This is not nature science, where we can use the principle of falsifying (aka you say all swans are white, so I will find you that one black swan to disprove your assumption).

This is human interaction (which, compared to natural science is indeterministic, so falsifying doesn't work).

Not only are people comparing apples to oranges, they also completely ignore how many oranges there are.

Can't we just appreciate the entire fruit basket without dismissing the oranges?

I 100% fully agree with you. And I'm just going to take a chance to address my thoughts over a lot of the talking points I've seen people throw around on the topic. @akookminsupporter had an anon that actually summed up all those talking points fairly nicely in one post. So I'm going to just address that. Thanks to that anon for pulling most the commentary together in one place I guess.

"Im really not ot7fying this.. but I think from recent event it's crystal clear Jimin treats his very close friends equally. Jimin traveled overseas for both Jhope and JK."

Yes. You are. You are taking two different events, with wildly different context and making it about how Jimin treats everyone the same and is making it about OT7 and then some too. It's a little better but still similar to the people saying that Jimin was there as a representative of BTS as a whole. At least you are giving him his own anatomy with his own friendships I guess. Even if you are putting them all on the same playing field instead of talking about how special and wonderful Jimin treats the people he cares about and makes efforts for them individually. What is said here is literally the definition of OT7ifying Jimin being there for his friends and Jimin flying to Korea for JKs birthday. That is 100% what people are doing with this comparison.

"Jimin was with JK and sungwoon on their birthdays."

Yes. And he was with Tae on his, Joon on his, Yoongi on his, Hobi on his, Jin on his.... I'm sure he made efforts for his other friends birthdays when he could there too. Even if we didn't hear about it. What's the point other than to make what Jimin did for JKs birthday LESS special? Because it's not working. You are still missing the point of the context behind these situations and are actually diminishing them all. To add on to all that... Jimin showed up at Sungwoons house to celebrate his birthday with him taking time to make his friend feel special, at their own homes when both were in Korea. Very special. Very sweet. Jimin is a wonderful friend.

He flew from Korea to Chicago to see and support Hobi through an important and major milestone for his bestie and his hyung. He said he felt it was important to do so as Hobi had shown him songs at the company and he wanted to continue to show that support. Jimin also apparently has rumors from K media of personal schedules happening in the US too during this time. So it seems he added a few extra days to the start of his trip to see his hyung and an important moment for him. It's beautiful and amazing.

And both these moments being brought up are a drastically different vibe and effort than coming to Korea in the middle of all his other plans, travels and holidays for a single day JUST for JKs birthday and then going off again right afterwards. There was no convenience there, no other reason to do what he did. Nothing else he could do during the few hours he was home in Korea, other than make JKs birthday special. He took time out of all his other plans to do so. He met up with Sungwoon late in Hawaii to make sure he was there for JK. As well as having it set all up as a trick surprise making JK think he wasn't going to make it and how meaningful it was when he did. If you don't see the difference there, is because you don't want to. And that's fine, nothing I can do about that.

"Jimin was only there with Jk when he was injured but similarly jimin was only one inside the room with RM when he injured his leg too and there are other 100 examples which shows he treats them all with same love."

Well this one just simply is the story being twisted to make your verison of it sound better. Sorry. You want to talk about the difference there, I would love to. Let's talk about how Jimin was given preferential treatment by members and staff in regards to Jungkook while he was injured. In fact, I already did. You can read that post here. And here. And while I'm sure it meant a lot to Joon to have someone there with him while he was getting his leg wrapped, all the other members stayed and hung around as long as they could according to their schedules. And Jimin stuck around because he was ALSO injured and getting treated by the med staff AT THE SAME TIME for the hard fall he took on stage previously. This doesn't mean that Jimin wouldn't have otherwise stayed if Joon wanted him too also, but the way these situations were handled were different AND in this case, Jimin stayed due to his own injury. So the example here isn't totally accurate. Sorry.

"But yall just saying what only jikook have is romantic is lil bit of a stretch in my opinion."

Ah well. That's the beauty of opinions. They start and end with YOU. Or at least. They are supposed to. The internet has given everyone an inflated idea that their opinions matter more than they actually do. Post your "jikook ain't special" opinions in your own space. The only reason to come and share it on jikook blogs is because of ego. You don't think this is just your opinion, you think you are right and that your opinion is best and therefore you have a right to force it on others. Even me, this isn't my anon. Yet I'm breaking down their ask like my opinion matters. It doesn't. But at least I'm doing it on my own blog space where I share my thoughts and opinions. And everyone else can come and go as they please.

"If what jkk having seems romantic to you then same can be applied to Jimin and his other close friends."

This one goes hand in hand with your "and there are other 100 examples which shows he treats them all with same love." Comments from above too. Wasn't true up there, isn't true now either. And saying that all of Jimins friendships are the same is a bit of a stretch in my opinion. 😏

"And when asked why... yall will say content of 9 yrs this and that... some vague answers and some of your projections and beliefs.. JK is a common factor etc etc..."

Man. You invite yourself into jikook blogs and spaces. But then do you actually take the tome to read and look around and see what our opinions and thoughts actually are? Perhaps you just saw the bad side of shipping on Twitter. No one is a monolith though and if you actually wanted to explore why most jikookers think they are together, you'll find it's for a lot more reasons than just one or two things and it's a lot more than simply vague answers and projections. I doubt Rosie's anon will see this. Or maybe they will. But I'd recommend my masterlist regardless because it gets into a lot of those reasons. And I just don't get the JK is a common factor comment at all..... But the reason jkkrs think there might be something romantic between jimin and jungkook has always been and always will be due to the culmination of many moments, including the consistency and some exclusivity of some of those moments.

"Yes content of 9 years is what it showed us jimin treats all his friends equally if we are watching with a unbiased mindset. I bet as time goes on it will become more and more clear to you 😊😊"

Yes, shocker. Jimin is an incredibly kind, caring and beautiful person. Everyone who meets him says so. And he especially cares about the well being of his members. But squashing them all down as "the same" does a disservice to how special Jimin is and how wonderfully he always makes sure to treat his relationships with people like the unique and special bonds they are. He is incredibly adapt at speaking his friends love languages and his EQ is off the charts. That doesn't change that there is a mark difference in jikooks relationship and how they speak about it together than others. Even if you don't think they are romantically involved.

The condescending tone here at the end of the message also is incredibly off putting. It speaks to the ignorance so many people have of what most jikookers think and why they think that way. As well as the ignorance of assuming every relationship someone has is exactly the same. Ignorance is not unusual by any means. It is honestly the natural state of the human mind, you can't know what you don't know, that's okay. But there are many who will defend sanctity of their ignorance without an attempt to open their own minds, and then expect you to be impressed with their efforts at the end of it. Most of the time, we won't be. If you watch content from the past 9 years and the more we get with an unbiased mindset, perhaps it will become more and more clear to you too. 😊😊

I'll leave this here by saying I do have a why jikook are different post that touches on some surface level thoughts about this in a similar topic too.

As well as thanking guacamoli here for letting me essentially reply to someone else under their ask. Lmao and apologize to Rosie for taking over her anon in an a way. And to her anon as well, for shoving my opinion at them when they didn't ask for it. And to also agree with Guacamoli's closing statement: "can't we just appreciate the entire fruit basket without dismissing the oranges." Lmao I love the fruit basket comparison for BTS 😭🤣 How apt! Lol and I sure do love appreciating all the fruits whenever I can!! 🥰🥰🥰

#jikook #kookmin #the efforts to dismiss jikook as special will never go away #im tired of it all honestly #you can call everyone special without calling them all the same

[asterz-playz-official]

So at the office, while he was away, Michael was basically considered to be a Threat™️ because everyone had wound up seeing or hearing about what had happened to Leitner. Elias being like “oh he just needs some time to work himself out” but in a weirdly sinister way does not help his case.

Jon eventually gets into his own bit of trouble because of the possibility that he could have been an accomplice, has to run away like he did in the original series.

Actually, Michael’s not fully considered a threat by anyone… not anyone who actually knows him, at least.

Melanie’s opinion? Yeah, he was a little weird when she gave her statement to him. Probably evil.

Tim? He’s not responding to anyone’s questions at the moment, and you can kindly fuck off. (Michael saved Sasha’s life with the worms, but he’s not gonna tell the police that he thinks Jon maybe did it instead with some weird mind controlling powers or something. They’ll think that it’s bullshit.)

Sasha’s… conflicted. He has been acting weird recently, but she’s not sure he’s actually evil, she’s actually pretty sure he’s just… stressed. People can change, though, so… she doesn’t really know what to think.

Jon’s. Um. Not there, but he’s SUPER sure the guy’s gone crazy and is killing people for sport.

Martin………………………………………………………….

“It’s… complicated? Probably.”

[CONTINUED BELOW oh you BET there’s more ehehehe]

Nikola, though… oh boy.

Two potential candidates. One of them’s rumored to not really know much of anything, and the other knows plenty. But while both have gotten strong, one of them’s going to be stronger.

Kicker’s that the potentially-stronger one probably won’t actually fit properly because he’s too tall. And he’s all twisted, so that won’t do at all.

So instead, she’s been talking to Jon about the gorilla skin, like in the original series.

Being a super creepy motherfucker and all that.

Y’know.

Anyway, Michael did not get anywhere near death, so Oliver didn’t have to go in and help out or anything, but… Elias has realized that michael keeps getting himself into situations where he nearly gets killed, and does not seem to handle them too well, so he’s experimenting and seeing if he can have Jon be a “backup archivist”, which i’m sure Nikola’s absolutely delighted by…

Still… Michael does get visited by some of the stranger’s gang eventually.

Just “checking in on our dear old archivist!”

(Michael does not feel comforted.)

(He is also not particularly thrilled.)

(Especially when she casually mentions not being able to use his skin in particular, because it “just wouldn’t fit right………….! You understand… don’t you, archivist?”)

He tries to burn her with the spiderweb lighter.

No wonder Jude Perry liked him a lot- (he’s actually now tried to set two things on fire because they were bothering him- but I haven’t posted the part where he yeets a lighter at the other thing yet lol-you’ll see)

Obviously, it’s ineffective… but it lights up her face for a moment before miraculously snapping shut upon hitting the floor.

Or… where her face should be.

Michael screams, his friend finally gets the lights working, and Nikola is gone.

…Fun!

OH HEY WAIT WHAT

OKAY SO

If Michael gets this tape! (Which he definitely would, cause he would have completely missed everything.)

Obviously with a few edits!! But!!!!!!! That shit would just.

Like a goddamn jagged-edged sword getting shoved STRAIGHT through his torso, GOD that stupid bit of commentary would hurt so BAD-

Jesus, Elias, stop trying to make your archivist feel like a disposable paper bag that somehow managed to make it out of the landfill, the hell are you doing, man????

Michael’d probably just try and mirror-jump to Jude Perry or something and be like “hey, my boss is a sick bastard and I hate him, want to help?”

Not sure if I’m /j or /srs, but Martin might be on board lol

Michael’s having more and more trouble with the whole… mirror-hallway trap thing. Although, like with canon, he probably ends up figuring out a way to drag out the whole process of victims slowly kinda going nuts so that he doesn’t actually have to kill anyone, he can just… “bother someone” in order to keep things going.

Which actually winds up working better than the “drive em mad and then whoop there they go” method.

He doesn’t like how it feels, cause it’s basically making a bunch of people go through what Ryan went through, but he tries diffusing the messing-with across more than one victim in order to make it not be as horrible for each of them.

Oh, and on top of that, he still has to get statements.

Does Jon send him the statements he gets (and his own notes on them) after he’s done with them, so that they’re both on the same page with things? (And does it work..?)

And if so, does he get to hear the “dust to dust” one, finally?

*Sound of Michael nearly popping a stress ball open with one hand*

(>:(((( Bruh Gertrude what the fuck)

AND HEARING HIS OWN VOICE ON THE TAPE…

Just rewinding and playing it over and over again. Just to hear it.

It hurts to know that his voice doesn’t quite sound the same.

He’s lost the stutter that he hated so much. He almost misses it.

Might actually mumble the words a little, in a half-hopeful attempt at getting his voice to sound like it did back then again. It works, for a moment or two, and in that little sliver of time, he feels like… himself again. Like Michael.

But he can’t hold it for long.

Still… it was there.

He was… there, somewhere. He wasn’t completely gone… so maybe there was still hope.

(HhhgfhhHhhHHHHHH I wanna hug him so badddddddddddddd aaaaaaaaaa 🫠)

Anyway, so Jon gets taken by Orsinov-

And the only reason Michael doesn’t pick up every time Elias tries to call him to tell him to get Jon is cause he’s got Elias’s number registered in his phone as “old sod” and just sits there pressing “decline” every time the phone starts ringing with that name.

It’s very fun to do.

However, eventually Martin’s the one who calls him, sounding a little bit panicked, and explains what’s going on, and Michael feels like an asshole, rushes out the door- (“hello good morning I’ve got to go get Jonathan out of situations he keeps getting in don’t kill me don’t get killed please don’t leave things on voicemail if they’re important, lesson learned, ohgosh bye-”)

So the Michael appears! No doom threat, just Michael apologizing for being “so incredibly late” and being like “oh good lord these are creepy oh sh- you’ve got a gag on- I’m very sorry-”

And he notices that Jon’s…. Looking at him, like… he wants to ask something, but doesn’t know if he should.

Michael… forces a smile, getting the feeling — based on the last tape he’d gotten from jon — that he knows what he wants to ask about. “Can we… t…t-“ oh, of course- and just at the moment he’d rather it not be an issue, here it was, again, in the way of him getting his words across. “It- I- We don’t- there isn’t much… much time to share… stories.”

“She won’t be back for-“

“I just don’t want to.”

He didn’t mean it to come out sounding so snappy, and winced a little at his own voice. “She…she’s just… a bit of a hard subject, as of right now…”

Jon looks a little bit… desperate, though, and it occurs to him that he most likely hasn’t been able to get any new statements in days.

If he were to go through the mirrors… he might not be able to keep himself together in there. Or he might get lost, or…

“Ask me.”

Jon blinks, looking a bit confused. “Didn’t you say you-“

“Yes, I know. It doesn’t feel good, but if you don’t-“ he takes a deep breath, and sighs heavily. “Please. Just… this once. And it’s all… good.”

…”What was she like?”

Oh, that question hurts.

A string of expressions pass across his face as he tries to think of the words for the things Jon wants to pull out of him. Needs him to let out.

“…different… she- she told me a lie.

I thought I knew… why she was who she was. Why I was… her… assistant.

I- but i didn’t. Really. She was cold… and… I just fell for it.

He takes another deep breath and sighs, but… no, it… isn’t done, is it.

It all spills out, like blood gushing from a deep, arterial wound.

He tries to twist it, to lessen the tearing sensation that the eye gives as it drags the information out of him, but it just… happens. The words aren’t quite his to control.

The Sannikov trip is the most painful to feel.

Once, it might have been a tale told in horror, of the near-death experience of his mentor, the old woman who fell over the side of a ship in the middle of a storm. About how he almost went insane, but that could have been a dream, and she had been saved, and then they had gone home again.

He told Jon all of this story, the statement riddled with sarcasm and frustration, and hurt.

And then he told… a different story.

The one he’d had in that vision, or dream, or nightmare- whatever it had been.

He told the eye what it already knew, and — in a way — begged it to answer him, instead. Tell him if he had just been… a pebble to be kicked into a trap so that it could be made safe to pass through.

He explained his fear that Gertrude had, in fact, killed one of her old assistants, a woman named Emma Harvey. She’d burned her alive.

And then he recounted his terror upon waking up in the office that one horrible night, when the doors had not been the right doors, and had nearly taken him and swallowed him and taken him apart.

How the fire had roared around him.

The rest of the story, Jon already knew, and so his talking should have ended there.

But he mentioned something he didn’t want to.

About how much Jon had reminded him of her, when they’d first met.

And with this revelation, the story ended.

At once, Michael slid to the floor, his whole body drained of energy, fighting to keep itself together.

It was not a moment too soon.

A door had opened behind him. A horribly familiar one, and as it loomed over Jon’s bound form and Michael’s barely stable one, a voice floated through the room, coming from the figure standing at its threshold.

“That was a very, very stupid thing to do, archivist.”

#the magnus archives #tma #michael shelley #michael tma #tma au #tma unwinding au #unwinding au #Jonathan sims #Jon tma #the distortion #the distortion tma #nikola orsinov #Nikola tma #the stranger tma #tw Uh violence #tma fic #draft #random rambles!!!!!! #it’s so hard to get character ‘voices’ right aaaaaa #if I can’t hear them reading it in my head #then it’s WRONG /lh /goofy #Michael’s stuff is ESPEXIALLY difficult cause we barely have any dialogue from him as a normal guy

[beardedmrbean]

Sorry, but seriously we could had a tongue and cheek magical black movie like this skit https://youtu.be/j-2ZxldMO-M?si=jZ3uDMLcxHgj6_tS

But no we had to make a movie about how black people have to please white people…which is hilarious since black activism went now what racial superiority rather than equality

I getting concerned about my community now, do the WHITE men haunts your dreams? I haven’t seen so much fear towards another race since white conservatives fears of their white wives cheating on them with black men.

Think my fav K&P bit is the 'wait a min maybe I'm the asshole' one that people laugh at but don't seem to think could apply to them for some reason.

If I wanted to make a big social commentary I'd ask why the society from the previous ask didn't have a section dedicated to the black community too.

I don't really pull numbers anymore, but if that was a real group they could do a lot more good keeping black people from killing other black people.

But that's not a popular subject to bring up for some reason.

But no we had to make a movie about how black people have to please white people…which is hilarious since black activism went now what racial superiority rather than equality

Guy I saw recently suing because some place wouldn't put up the "straight pride" flag he had, which it's a stunt on his part for sure but it begs the question of all the people that get really really mad about it.

Are you wanting equality or supremacy, since this isn't a situation where the word "equity" would fit. If your goal is equality why are you so concerned about equal treatment.

Like I said it's likely a stunt, but it does "start a conversation" as people like to say when fake hate crimes happen.

Which reminds me, jussie smolette had his appeal denied a bit back, which is good news imho.

#anonymous

[tenderlady]

(Phantom Thread anon again) Yes exactly, that's J&Y! I can see it with the Master too, that same desire or need to hand over the reigns to someone else, something that John has alluded to in pretty much all the major relationships of his life (Mimi, Stu, Paul, Yoko). I think any good Beatles film would have to focus on just a fragment and my top choice would depend on what the angle was, but PTA would be a great choice for anything delving into their psyches not just because he's a top tier director but because so many of his films deal with Fucked Up relationships seemingly without judgement. He doesn't sanitise, but his characters are allowed to come across as charming despite the focus on dysfunctional elements.

Also while there's the obvious mommy issues thread, but a lot more that could be explored and isn't much about John's relationship with power in general, especially in the 70s. How he seemed to want it less the more he had it, especially from about '67 when he appeared to make conscious efforts to be less manipulative and even assertive. His old friends say he had to be the top dog in the early days which certainly isn't the John I saw in the Get Back sessions. That thing Harry Nilsson mentioned him saying about "powerful men" wanting to "swallow the world" and how he related it to his own physical appetite was very revealing imo. And how he often talked about "fat kings" (and Elvis specifically as the "fat king" fate he feared most) - I wonder how much of his disordered eating and preference for looking what most would consider too thin was rooted in those kinds of thoughts. And well, put all that together and the appeal of submitting to Yoko is blindingly obvious to me without the need for some evil witch magic to put him under her command!

Hey, bestie, welcome back! Always a pleasure to talk shop with a fellow Understander.

I totally agree with all of this, and I think you did a better job of picking up what I was attempting to put down with The Master than I did. The Master, while often read as a film about Scientology, is at its base a film about masculinity and control and power, which I think is what PTA is alluding to with the title. There is a real homoeroticism between Philip Seymour Hoffman's character and Joaquin Phoenix's character (I haven't seen the film in a hot minute, apologies for not remembering their characters' names), and a kind of Freudian taming of the id with Phoenix's almost animalistic lust and violence being tempered (and channeled) by Hoffman's superegoistic control. The scene where Hoffman essentially does Auditing on Phoenix reminds me a bit of Janov's primal scream therapy, with the idea that you have to completely break someone down to nothing in order to remake them in a stronger image. I also totally agree that PTA does a great job of portraying characters with complex psychologies in a way that neither demonizes nor exonerates them for their behavior, which are both problems that I think a lot of Beatlemovies (particularly focusing on John) fall into.

The thread of John and power/consumption/fatness is also really fascinating to me. The "fat king" archetype obviously seemed to stick in his craw, and I think Maureen Cleave comparing him specifically to Henry VIII really bothered him. Henry VIII was fat, but he was also violent, lascivious, and myopic in his understanding of the world around him. As with a lot of contemporaneous Beatles commentary, I think that John perhaps thought this hit too close to home and decided to course correct but, being John, overcorrected HARD. Like George, I think John had a real interest in asceticism and transcendence. At a point in time, John was probably the most powerful non-political figure in the world, and I think the trauma of that experience led him to desire a place where he could relinquish some of that control. Janov in particular seemed to place a lot of stock on being controlled by your desires (didn't Yoko pitch PST as a way to stop smoking?), and I think we see that fear of desire manifest in the life John built with Yoko in New York (macrobiotic, highly restricted diet; minimalistic decor; rarely leaving the house). I think the AKOM girls did a great job of looping that fear of desire re: Janov's work back to Paul, and I think you alluded to that as well in your original ask, but I think all of that coalesced into John's disordered eating, or pulled on the thought patterns that started this behavior back in the 60s. John wanted to be cared for, but especially in the 70s, I think we can see a distrust that he felt in his own desires, and a longing to be rid of them. George attempted to do that with Krishna, and John attempted to do that with Yoko/Janov/disordered eating/etc., etc.

This answer kind of got away from me, but I do want to say that you're totally right. Yoko was not practicing evil pussy magic; I think she just correctly spotted what John was looking for and stepped in to provide it, even if it was ultimately not good or healthy for either of them.

I need to go rewatch The Master, apparently.

#thanks again friend!!! #there is so much to chew on here and we need to big juicy brain of pta to distill it all down into something watchable i think #would be very intrigued to know who else you think would be qualified to make a beatlemovie btw #bugs in film

[banghwa]

proposal absolutely accepted! just saw american teenager on the hyyh seokjin playlist oh you’re a capital g Genius… its SERIOUS.

also, have you ever explained your ideal hyyh adaptation soundtrack playlist in depth? (ie which songs would play when) if not i’d love to hear about it!

OHHHH my god pls i’ve been waiting ages for someone to ask. this is long sry. im kissing u on the mouth btw

ok realistically i know a perfect hyyh live action would not be how i imagine it bcs it hinges so heavily on specific korean working-class experiences which a good soundtrack would help emphasize. and unfortunately i dont know enough about korean culture circa 2000-2010 to build smt truly loyal to this vision. so obviously my playlists are incredibly self indulgent and tailored to the music i listen to and very much wips anyways so obvs not perfect :’))

REGARDLESS tho i think an effective hyyh soundtrack should ground the characters in the setting and express the conflict between their ideals and desires vs their reality. i think it would need to be used to anchor characters in their own and their parent's past in a way that still feels very modern? and a good way to do that would be to play around with american music. seok-jin spends time in america and very well might be american, my heart of hearts tells me yoon-gi loves jazz as well as hip hop, hell even just the fact that bts' style came from a lot of american influences makes american music smt that could rly help build that clash between the low-income korean setting and the trapped and hyperfixated-on-utopia characters if used correctly.

as for when each song in my playlist would come in, it depends! some are there for vibes, others are there for rly specific reasons and i could write whole essays for each but here's some commentary on a fave few <3:

dr dog - where'd all the time go: my perfect hyyh adaptation would explore seok-jin's american identity/non identity much more than the notes. i picture this one as an credits scene of him landing back in seoul from the states circa 2010

st vincent - laughing with a mouth of blood: mostly vibes but i can see as seok-jin refamiliarizing himself with song-ju and slowly hears how everyone is doing now

bruce springsteen - backstreets: mostly vibes but i can see it as a tae-hyung song, same as most of the 70s music on here

j cole - for whom the bell tolls: an introductory nam-joon scene, maybe 17 december year 21

f+tm - back in town: on seok-jin's walk home after his drink with nam-joon on 14 july year 22 (in my perfect adaptation seok-jin is in love with nam-joon. nam-joon knows this. seok-jin doesn't. they stay not for each other but bcs of each other)

#this got long im soooo sry but i havent talked abt hyyh in a minute #its like emptying a garbage bin after too long and it all falls out in a chunk #maybe one day ill go into more depth on what sort of american music i think would complement each character's desires/expectations #💌 #anonymous

[erigold13261]

Okay! Got basically all the family trees I can think of done! (I'm almost positive I either forgot one or will need to add more later on)

They probably aren't permanent and could change in the future, but these are the basics of what I am gonna be working with for the Eriverse AU!

There's 16 total pages so I'm gonna put them under the cut! (With some extra commentary I guess)

Mayday and Zuke/West: -Mayday was adopted by her paternal grandma. However, now she has no family left at all. -Zuke and West's dad left the family a while ago for a fling. He was disowned by his parents who are still active in Zuke and West's lives.

Miles and Gwen: -I just looked up the family from the comics to get more of the names for each of the characters I didn't know (like Patrick or Gloria). -I do like the idea that Miles has a little sister, or will have a little sister.

Eve/Remi/Pav: -I wanted to make Eve's maternal side a lot bigger than her paternal side. So like, Eve and Pav have a lot more family to connect to than Remi ends up having. -Eve and Remi's dad had an affair with Remi's mom before divorcing Eve's mom.

Neon J/1010: -Didn't want to put all 8 robots names, so I shortened it. -This was the tree that started this whole saga lol. -I know I wanted Neon to have a large extended family that he wasn't able to connect with, with at least one set of twins and a teen or two.

Joey/Celine/Gigi and Nova: -Nova's family tree still has a bit more relatives, but none of them are all that important to Nova's life so he doesn't actually pay attention to them (and is why they aren't shown). -Nova is also a rainbow baby. -Joey, Celine, and Gigi are all half siblings. This tree was annoying to figure out but I think I made it work. Basically they all share one same parent (don't know if it's a mom or dad yet).

Elivy and Quida: -Quida is the youngest of 4 kids in her family. Her daughter had a baby with an unwanted man and would later die from pregnancy related problems. Quida took in her newborn granddaughter. -Elivy is married to an old roadie for the Goolings and adopted a pre-teen or teenage son with his husband.

Sofa and Tila: -Sofa has a younger sister and some cousins. The cousins aren't super important to their life so they aren't shown. -It's just Tila and her parents in her life.

Kento/Dodo: -Kento and Dodo's dads are half siblings. Grandparent 1 divorced Grandparent 2 and then got with Grandparent 3 (I don't know which is grandma or grandpa so that's why it's neutral). Not much else to say about this specific tree.

Ham: -Found out the names of Ben and May were Ant May and Bee, but also Ham's adoptive aunt and uncler were just May and Ben, so I changed their names to Maize and Benny. -Maize and Benny are the ones to take Ham in (I forget if Maize is a widow or not in this AU, so Benny might be dead and I just need to put an X on his name. If that's the case then Bee is alive).

Bunny/Rei/Hobie: -Rei as disowned by his family, Bunny disowned hers, and Hobie was abandoned by its which is basically disowned. -Rei and Bunny end up adopted Hobie, or at the very least becoming powers of attorneys for it in case something happens. -Finally, Hobie's parents went on to have at least one more kid that they most likely kept because it was "normal" unlike Hobie.

Peni/Asa: -Decided to change Peni's aunt May and uncle Ben's names to Mai and Ban. And like said multiple times, they are the ones to take in Peni when nya accidentally kills nyas father. -Peni's mom basically disowns Peni by abandoning kit and divorcing her husband. I didn't know how to show that without it looking like either Peni disowned kits mom (like Bunny) or making it look like both Peni's parents disowned kit. Anyway, Peni was basically cut off from kits maternal side when kits mom left -The Aunt/Uncle in the middle is the one to have helped Peni's mom leave the marriage. -Asa has a few siblings but doesn't care about any of them so they aren't shown (that side of the family is similar to Eve and Pav's side which is supposed to be much bigger than Peni's, except Asa doesn't utilize his family like Eve and Pav do).

Noa: -Big family time! Noa is the first grandkid to be born in his family! And because of that he basically became an extra parent to any grandkid that came after him. -Didn't know if he had aunts or uncles, so I just used Auncle so I didn't have to write Aunt/Uncle 3 times lol. -(The Auncle on the left thought having a second kid would fix the marriage... they were wrong).

Kliff and Joust: -Joust is a dick who got disowned by both his parents and his ex-girlfriend and kid. (Mom divorced the dad). -Kliff's family was that type that couldn't have their own kid so they adopted, then had a miracle baby (Kliff) and basically forgot about their adopted kids. -Those adopted kids might have their own kids, and Kliff's grandparents might be dead. I'll be honest, I couldn't think of much story at the moment, so Kliff's tree is most likely going to change.

Miguel and Noir: -Changed George O'Hara's name to Seoirse since I didn't want to just put "George" up there and have people think it was Gwen's dad lol -Also, Miguel's family is basically the comic version of his family because I didn't have my own ideas for him. I will say that him killing Gabriella (who he named after his step-brother) got him disowned by his family (also I think I should have made Dana and him divorced). -I don't have much to say about Noir. I changed Ben and May's names again to keep them separate like the others. Noir's parents are also still alive.

Synthia/Sharon and Spinose Family: -Sharon has a fling with a guy which wounded up in her having Synthia (who she hasn't disowned yet but is very close to doing so). -Yinu's family is basically just her mom and grandma. She doesn't know any of her mom's cousins or other family members, or at least she doesn't know them well enough to have them on her tree.

Tatiana/Cyril/Ilma: -And finally this tree! I've already gave this tree before, it had more names (such as Tatiana's grandparents/Cyril and Ilma's great-grandparents), but I wanted to show off the like disowned and dead statuses of the family. -I actually should have figured out a new symbol for the disowned, because Anatoli was NOT disowned by his mother, only by Matvey. Eh, I guess I could have put the disowned symbol on Matvey's side because it was a mutual disownment between Anatoli and Matvey. -Cyril and Ilma probably have a few cousins and stuff that are important to them (at least Ilma would), but I just don't have energy, time, or space to think of those sides of the trees lol.

But yea! These are the main family trees I'm gonna use. I might change things a bit here and there (give people names and figure out genders, stuff like that). But for now these are good enough.

If you think there's a character I should do a family tree that I didn't then let me know and I might try to make one! :D

#spidertalk #nsrtalk #eriverse #eritalks #noart #family tree

[thatonegaybastard]

Simon playlist!

Hello remember the Reiki playlist? This is the Simon playlist. It's not quite done but here's it so far

Warning for lik. Depressing themes and maybe suicidal themes and potentially overstimulating music also flashing lights and bright and rapidly shifting colors!!!!! And some suggestive and religious themes (more religious themes then sexual) and likem violence and blood

Also one of the dongs might have spoilers for a game called Cell of Empirio I'm not 100% sure so if you're wary of spoilers for that then beware

Songs and my silly commentary on them under the cut

White Happy by Maretu (English cover by Milkychan) - Literally the most Simon song ever also I live this song so much. Idk why I put an English cover of this song but not the other songs in other languages on this playlis. I really like this cover tho so I'll allow it

Chiri Chiro Juso (Dust Dust Curse) by Kikuo - Depressing song about death. I could see this being like from Simons point of view of himself and during his death

HURT by 1800 PAIN (I think) - They do wanna see you hurt. Idk how I feel about this song in general tbh

Montreal by Penelope Scott - Ok this song just makes me depressed about life and not even like in the good way it's a good song but like. Cries.Anyways this fots Simon a lot he won't make it to Montreal guys same

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - like most songs here it just fits him pretty well idk I might remove this so g I do t even have much to say

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox - Good song I wish it was longer tbh it scartches my brain. We get it Simon is depressed /j

Cradles by Sub Urban - um

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by GHOST - This song reminds meminds me of Simon and Beau specifically this is just the duo where one is probably murderous song to me. Also this omg is just so good I love it so much <3333 Simon would be the guy in the hoodie with bandages over his eyes his name is arc

IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses - Why'd idd I add this song. I dobt know.it just fits kind of trust me (I kinda forgot I added this song to the playlist)

there I am, there I am again by RP_A (I think??????? I'm not sure) - This song isn't super specific to Simon actually it mostly just fits the Lore™ its more of a Rosa song tbh

SCAPEG∞AT by GHOST - okay one good so g obviously but also this song is mostly just on the playlist because of the chorus it fits Simon so fucking much like what the fuck- also the ending parts- also unrelated but these guys have deity oc vibes tbh

Dr Gaster by Shadrow - Teehee :) (lore)

I'm Difficult by Talkshow Boy - Making you guys listen to talkshow boy not sorry /j /nf

Abnornality Dancing Girl by Guchiry - Okay this song doesn't exactly for him because of what it's probably about but the chorus fits him alot and so does the ending part. Also I'm making some art of him base don this sign it'll probably be a while until i finish because it's not super high priority but yeah :)

Fry Me In a Pan by Talkshow Boy - You will listen to my favorite Talkshow Bky songs. Might remove this one too tbh

Orthodoxia by Gunchiry - Okay doesn't necessarily fit Simon specifically if anything he'd be one of the religious followers but like. (Then again he also lives off the misfortunes of others) The lore was literally inspired from this sign and also it fuckign slaps I can't NOT include it wtf

Kitchen Fork by Gustavuo Rubio (I think) - Also one of the most Simon songs ever. Something is very wrong with this man

Also I ahvent added this yet but I think it's be funny if I added the happy song that's like "I am really special cuz there sonly one of me look at my smile I'm so damn happy all the people are jealous of me" yknow the ond

[convexicalcrow]

All The Fkn Lore Drops From Mythical J. Sausage's Empires Stream on Feb 4, 2023

And I mean, ALL OF THEM.

(source: Sausage's Empires livestream 4/2/23)

(commentary is in parentheses)

No time stamps bc this took long enough as it is and my hands would not forgive me if I did anything more. There are some approximate time markers I chucked in as I went but nothing specific.

Also this is Very Long, there are like 3.5k words of notes I took while watching this. I mostly focused on the lore stuff, but there's also a bit of extraneous commentary as well and some suggestive quotes I had to include. But yeah. Mostly it is lore, which says a lot lol.

we (the audience) are the watchers (from Evo lore) watching Sausage

he can see us, bc he can see everything (like Dr Strange apparently idk shit about Marvel stuff tho frfr) and he can communicate with us

he's had these powers for millenia but he's now unlocked them bc he's woken from his watcher slumber. bc the rift gave him his memories back from every life he's ever lived.

he literally said Sir Carlos is dead, everyone's dead, but he's not going over old/dead lore.

(please remember him saying Sir Carlos is dead, bc he gives us some Sir Carlos lore later on that contradicts this)

promises to put signs up for everyone who becomes a member (he will live to regret this at the end of the stream lol)

(sausage after dark needs to happen plz sausage i need the fwimmy fanfics bc ofc he ships fwhimmy lmao)

lore trees! done with magic. based on the Tree of Whimsy. Mini Trees of Whimsy.

suggests stealing the Tree of Whimsy from Bdubs like a normal person lol

he will worship Sun God Bdubs and communicate with him one day

there's Something in the Cathedral that's lore-related that he can't show us (may be in the ep that's coming out today?)

if he goes back in time, he can see The General

gotta shake Sunny's hand when you greet him

Bubbles and Athena have been fighting for two days; she stole Bubble's food lol. Athena guards Sunny.

Eddie always wants to go visit Oli, but Oli's never around, and it's dangerous in the Olipelago.

Eddie's getting Thicccc, been working out a lot lately.

Eddie's going to the Olipelago for two weeks for a holiday. That's Canon lol.

rip Diedre the Dodo ;_; (literally NO ONE spelt her name properly bc Ren's accent is a hot mess. XD)

makes a point of telling Sgorby that he's gonna start making out with everyone on the hardcore server now

he technically knows about the Wither Rose Alliance now. But he's not supposed to tell ppl that he knows, bc it might fuck with things. Black Collar Bubbles told him not to tell ppl. Could rip spacetime.

normal things he does in Sanctuary: he's just walking around, doing some farming, checking the visitor centre, that kind of thing.

leatherworker shop for Maria??

Maria's single and looking for love in all the wrong places.

Just looking for a good time, not to get locked down with anyone. Bunnies are party people.

Carlos has been living in the tavern, hasn't had his trades locked in.

Came in on a boat a while back and been living in the tavern ever since.

Could it be Sir Carlos? Maybe, maybe not.

OG Sir Carlos is long gone in this world.

Hermes is home-schooled, so they don't really need a public school system.

Hermes is the only child in Sanctuary. All the other children are in other realms/elsewhere/not in Sanctuary.

Technically Sunny is a child, 2 wks old, but they're an AI system so. Smarter than everyone in this world.

Technically did you see Sir Carlos die? In lore and in canon? Did you ever see him die at the end of the season? The last thing we saw of him was that he had to leave suddenly. We didn't see him go. He had to leave, go off on an adventure, he couldn't say, had to go somewhere specific. Sir Carlos is cursed, turned into a chicken by some other being. Legendary knight who's been around for a very long time. Is he immortal? Not immortal, but very powerful. Has been known to shapeshift. Technically he could be somewhere in the background. Maybe he came from an adventure somewhere, just showed up. Not as a knight anymore. But maybe, just maybe, be might have found us again, he says, looking at Carlos the villager. Came on boats, both time. Funny that. Sir Carlos of Mythland usually comes on a boat at a dock. From time to time. Whenever he's needed. So yeah. Strange.

(3 hours isn't a long stream, Sausage, not when you watch Cub's speedrunning vods lmao)

Can Sir Carlos dimension jump? He's a special being- er, person. Gods love your boy, and superpowered beings too. They gravitate to him. It's nbd.

We will see more of Sir Carlos later. Sausage has Plans.

Keralis and Bdubs were the first tutorial/series he watched, and he got to kiss them both in lore and in canon

jimmy villain arc fanfic tiem!

jimmy is a toy backstory, then the villain arc.

(i'm only 43 mins in btw lolololol)

jimmy's villain arc, chapter one, by mythical j. sausage:

jimmy's a toy and everyone knows it except jimmy. then he has a realisation. why is my skin so hard? oh, i'm made of wood! D: looks back as a shot fires, and out comes a demon, was it xornoth? No! a western demon, dressed all in black. I cursed you boy, and now you can see. Everyone sees it, open your eyes, boy. I did it, you're gonna do nothing about it. You're right! I was blinded this whole time! Demon disappeared, laughing his whole time. Hit by lightning, the wood starts burning! He starts melting and turns into a pile of ash! The demon comes back. He waves his hands in the air and the ash spews up into the air, all jimmy ashes, and it creates Jimmy from the ground up, but now he's made of ash. Eyes are dead. Yeeehaaaa motherfucker! Cursing up a storm now, and goes around killing everyone. Can fly into the sky like an ash tornado. Demon tells him to murder all the empires. So he goes, and the tornado goes out the door of the saloon. Shoots a gun, has two six shooters now. Goes all the way to Stratos, to kill Joel. His first victim. Jimmy goes to Stratos, straight into the heart of the god's realm, to take out Joel, for all the time he called him a toy, even though he was right. Passes the statue of Saint Peril and donkey Jeremy. Jimmy's cussing all over the place, no longer PG. More lighting! Joel's clapping his cheeks! Just practicing lol. Sausage wasn't around, he was resting under a tree in Sanctuary. Look, it's the stupid little toy! Jimmy's cursing and shooting Joel in the face several times. Empties his guns. Joel's dead. Has just killed a god. Jimmy laughs. Bullets were made with some kind of evil juice that enabled him to kill a god. Then Hermes shoots into the sky! Looks down at evil Jimmy! He's mad! You killed my father! D: You're gonna die now, little man! Jimmy looks up at Hermes flapping his little wings on his feet. Always wanted to kill you! But Hermes doesn't let him finish and shoots him in the eye with lightning and Jimmy explodes into ash. The demon appears and is like, you can't do that! but Hermes kills him too. He's crying now, going down to daddy Joel. Not today, Daddy, and kissed him on the forehead, and Joel came back to life. What happened? The toy's dead, no need to worry about him anymore. Oh, cool! Starts clapping his cheeks again lol. The End. (this is paraphrased in places but that's the gist of it)

it's fanfic not canon, jimmy's a good man.

Empires!Sausage would write his own fanfiction about his friends. It's Canon.

yassify that demon! he says about the western demon he created lol.

(i will Not document the slander happening rn frfr)

(ya boi is procrastinating real hard on the tree clearing ngl)

next fanfic is what evil sausage was doing while he was away

is it gonna be headcanon or lore? who knows?

(one hour in and we have started cutting trees)

(we're tree-clearing for a Lore Build)

("the bush is more important than the sapling")

(he loves False's lore as well <3)

evil sausage can't be the good twin.

s2 Sausage is Extra Good now. s1 Sausage had Issues, did some bad stuff. Mix of good and bad. But this version of him has zero evilness. Nothing bad now. Goodest of the good boys. It's bc Gem in s1 took every bit of corruption and badness in him. There's nothing left. He jokes around, but there's no evil intent. The Other Sausage has all of Sausage's evilness.

you do need a little bit of both though. Being completely good can mess things up in the future. Too much of a good thing can be bad, he says, so keep that in mind. (<_<)

there's no canon on the hardcore server, just killing everyone at the end lol.

"Oh no my chests are gone!" he says as he enters his storage room, before they appear a moment later. "That's lore!" (right, ofc it is)

("This is my one and only junk drawer, don't tell Pearlescent Moon")

Blood sheep are long since gone, and can't come back. They're gone. Been thousands of years since they were last seen. Might be elsewhere but he won't be investigating.

are blood sheep extinct? technically he hasn't seen them in a very long time, but he's also very far away from where mythland would have been so maybe they're around there? but no one's seen them for generations. they're not around here.

all blood sheep are red sheep but not all red sheep are blood sheep - he's talked with all the red sheep he's found around Sanctuary and they're just regular sheep.

The Mythland Song! D: It's apparently now the dimension warping song. He has to warp dimensions every time it comes up now. >_>

(he has sound effects and everything >_>)

(I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING SAUSAGE)

(1h 20min in for those keeping check of the time)

Bubbles told him not to do this, but he's here now so.

"I got warped back, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine…"

We're just in another realm.

Can't get into the summoning circle tho. >_>

There are blood sheep around.

About an hour before the End Times.

Xornoth could be around, bc he was around at this time, but doesn't know where he is.

Going to look for Bubbles now.

Just minding his own business when he met Xornoth for the first time.

Thinking of warping the blacksmith into Sanctuary bc he needs an autosmelter. It's where he first met Xornoth as well. >_>

Going to see The General. :D

(Bubbles is the ultimate being but forget he said that >_>)

Blood Sheep Lore! After they rained down on Mythland! What caused them to rain down? 1) he sent Evil Sausage into that pocket dimension, an exact copy of this world. It was other blood sheep from that world too, and Evil Sausage destroyed Mythland in that world, including the blood sheep, for absolutely no purpose. They're happy to be sacrificed for a greater purpose. But if there's no greater purpose to their sacrifice, they get angry. That's why they got upset with Sausage. 2) the salmon/cod explosion ALSO caused it, and that triggered the big explosion of blood sheep to rain down on them. They became cannibalistic. Ate everything and everyone out in these realms. General was eaten alive. Villagers dead. Every animal, person, being got eaten by blood sheep as revenge for what Sausage did. Went on for many, many years. He can never save the people in Mythland. He couldn't change it. Ate everything in sight until the only thing left was blood sheep.

He's gone downstairs after seeing House Horse. There are blood sheep down here too. and he looks at the cells and he's like, …wait. am I in the wrong… Mythland? D: is this where-…? wait. no is this where evil me… did he rebuild-? D: i have to leave now. leaves immediately bc that [the bars of the left hand cell I am assuming] were open last time.

we're fine, we're back.

In denial about it being That Mythland. It was probably regular Mythland right? And he wasn't there that long. It's fine. He's fine. It wasn't where Evil Me was. Just coincidence that thing was sealed up.

evil sausage def isn't hanging around looking for a way to get back, trying to cling onto me and find his way back here (or words to that effect, ya boi mumbled that a bit ngl)

(tangent about the mcytblr sexyman polls bc ofc)

(scar is a very sexy man, and sausage is 100% right and he should say it)

(ftr i still kinda don't really get the tumblr sexyman concept even though i have tried to understand it but you do you tumblr <3 i am just enjoying the chaos and the fun and the polls lol)

someone tells sausage that shelby's got a lil skulk thing going on and he's rightfully a lil concerned about that

promising something special with lore in the next ep, very good lore.

is the story over now the crossover's done? well, that was like the mid-season finale for that ep with the crossovers, bringing that arc to a close. Still a lot of stories left to tell. A lot of things and unanswered questions from lore which will be coming back before the end. Pages and pages of written stuff that he's been planning, and we're not even close to getting to that spot. Don't worry, there's a lot to come. Wanted the Pearl thing to feel very special. All the unanswered stuff will be answered before the end. No end date yet. There's story things to get to, and things that are gonna build on that, so there's no end date yet. Things gonna ramp up very soon and a lot of crazy things are gonna happen.

Sausage the matchmaker, pretty much everyone he matches up works out

before all things said and done, The Chart is gonna be a billboard. Gonna get with every new person lol, add all kinds of weird things to the chart. Out of spite, but also out of fun. (i think it was out of fun, it was hard to catch that word)

("wood daddy chopping wood and slandering people in the chat room")

("at least you put it in the back and not in the front")

evil sausage: what is he doing now? is the title of the next fanfic lol

(lowkey appreciating the lack of lore in this part of the stream bc my hands needed a break lol)

invisible axolotls? D: D: D:

the song playing rn is the one where he met Pearl from the crossover and it wasn't Santa Perla and he needed consoling. But he remembers her now.

Pearl's holding her godly powers back so she can be a normal person for once.

if e2!Sausage was an animal, he'd be a lion. like mufasa. he likes tragic characters (yeah I had noticed Sausage lol) big giant mane, furry chest, etc.

wood-chopping sausage with a lil fur on his chest.

(irl sausage would pick a lion as well.)

"look, that's magic! there's a lore with that" - sausage about a floating vine

there's a cat that's been hanging around ever since he settled in Sanctuary and that cat may be important to the story. (it's an ocelot)

ppl are reporting on jimmy stealing the dragon egg on the hardcore server, and he's like, i'm on Empires I can't go over there and kill him now!

("oh my mouth hole got moistened")

(I am not writing out your fanfics Sausage. Except for summarising them for this post)

the song from Afterlife where Vampire Scott killed Angel Sausage. He came back as the evil wither man. But in order to do that, he had to have the blood sucked from him.

who buried Angel Sausage? Was it Scott? bc he felt bad for killing him? Maybe Oli. Probably Oli. Or Scott. Let's say it was Oli bc it makes sense in lore. After he killed him, he came back to finish the job and suck him dry, and then Oli buried him in the grave. Then he came back as an evil wither man.

then Oli came back and sang him a song while Sausage shot himself into the sun

will it be real lore or fanfiction for evil sausage? we'll have to find out

technically, you know how this area [Sanctuary] is Latin-inspired? For all the ppl who watched Afterlife, what was the first angel Sausage build style? It was Spanish-inspired. A Spanish hacienda. How odd that he would have picked that build style to start out his life as angel Sausage. Hinting that that is the style he wanted to do after coming back from the Afterlife and Pearl sent him down. And what is the first style he did after coming back from the Afterlife? Spanish. Latin. Columbian. Lorelorelorelorelore.

from the beginning he wanted Afterlife to be connected to Empires s2 and his afterlife after s1.

"we've had a lot of lore drops today" looks at my 2.8k words of lore notes that isn't even finished yet yeah just a lil bit o.o

(and now Sausage's new ep has gone up, and I will Not watch it until I'm done with this stream)

(~30 mins to go)

("Oh it's 5am for you? I'm sorry. Have you tried not living in the weirdest time zone?" cries in GMT+8, the Worst time zone ;_; this was not about my time zone I don't think bc I don't have chat on when watching yt streams/vods bc it moves too fast but I felt that so hard)

evil sausage lore/fanfic tiem!

is this actual lore or am i telling you now a fanfiction about evil sausage in another realm? will i say if it's real or not? we'll see what happens.

this is called 'the story of evil sausage a.k.a sausage supreme a.k.a the bratwurst man a.ka. that boi thicc but he evil a.k.a who hurt you?'

back when he was sent back to another realm. he's pure evil. upset. angry over time. after swallowing xornoth and getting all the power that he possessed, he became stronger. still trapped in a pocket dimension. he went to every empire in search of clues to find a way out. days passed, months passed, years passed. his powers only grew as he found many old tomes in old libraries. he needed an outlet to use those powers. blood sheep were still around. but blood sheep weren't the only night creatures out at that time. other creatures too from other realms. every one he found he devoured to get stronger. back then, every single life was sucked away, never to be seen again.

(cue Oli gatecrashing)

the evil bratwurst man couldn't hold it in any longer.

(oli has muted a tab with the stream open and doesn't realise it for a hot minute)

"I'm doing fanfiction lore of my evil self!"

the evil version of me actually did escape one time. how did he do it? he did it by accident. he decided to sacrifice himself like sausage did through the summoning circle. why? bc he couldn't take it anymore. he was done being all alone in a pocket universe and wanted to end his life. so he did it in the summoning circle. where did he end up? in the council with the other bubbles. they didn't know what was happening, freaked out, what's he doing here in the spirit realm? every other bubbles wanted to banish him. but one wanted to give him another chance. so she sent him somewhere else. he left that pocket universe. was it the grey collared bubbles? maybe it was. well, if you're going to let him loose, you have to watch him. so that's why whenever you see him, you also see her. could this be lore? could this be real? or could this be fanfiction? whenever we travelled to see him, all of mythland wasn't destroyed. why would that specific mythland we saw in perfect condition? also wonders what's stopping him from sacrificing himself again and travelling here? idk what is stopping him. is it the bubbles? is he only trapped in that dimension? he's no longer in the pocket universe. the man is on his own. only that bubbles is there to stop him. if anything were to happen to that bubbles, who knows where he could go? she's the meanest bubbles. she's the bubbles that likes to hurt ppl. if something ever happened to that bubbles, or if sausage went there and they joined together, there's many ways he could escape, but he's in his own timeline in mythland. apparently one that there's no one there to stop him. probably why we saw Wither Rose Alliance heads in the dark tower bc maybe he murdered everyone. Is this real lore and canon? Or is this fanfiction? who knows? could be either one! :D

how could be still be alive after 1000 years?

what if he's not in the future, but it's still just the past for him?

never said his timeline matches his own.

can only travel to dimensions he knows.

time has passed but not that long.

if evil sausage joined with sausage would he become his ultimate self? who knows?

some nice juicy lore, or was it fanfiction? :D?

sausage refusing to clarify whether this is lore or not, which makes me feel like It's Definitely Lore bc he was Very Clear about clarifying the fanfic earlier.

(well done, 3.5k words of lore notes, ty sausage DX)

(sausage just wants to eat his bagel and ppl keep becoming members lmao)

And we're done.

collapses

goes to watch Sausage's new ep and then go to bed

#empires smp #afterlife smp #evo smp #mythical sausage #evil sausage #bubbles - sausage's dog #pearlescent moon #santa perla #sun god bdubs #oli orionsound #vampire scott smajor #watcher lore (canonical) #all the goddamn lore drops #from that one empires stream #in one handy place #tw suggestive #bc it's sausage he can't help it #jimmy's villain arc #also #tw cannibalism #bc blood sheep #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide #for evil sausage's lore/fanfic #is it fanfic is it lore? #you decide lol #tw blood sucking #angel sausage's murder #empiresshipping #hermitshipping