#LITERALLY SHUT UP WHILE I WAS MAKING THIS POST GF ASKED IF I WANNA WATCH THE MUPPET MOVIE

[awkwardchick87]

Is it ok if I can request for Mikey chifuyu and baji of what they would do if there gf wears there shirt without panties pleasee also I really really love you and your writing sm like whenever you post it just cheers up my day☺️♥️

Sorry this took so long!! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying! I literally can not express how much I love hearing I cheer you guys up!

Mikey, Baji and Chifuyu catching their girlfriend in their shirt, no panties on. Using the final timeline, like usual!!

nsfw under the cut - Minors DNI

cw - fingering, pet names, grinding, somno if you squint

Mikey

He rubbed his eyes as he walked to the kitchen. Stepping around the corner he spotted you at the stove, the smell of eggs wafted through the house. Grinning, his eyes trailed up your bare legs to where his shirt reached just under your ass. At that moment, you reached into the cupboard, grabbing the salt and pepper. Mikey groaned, seeing your bare ass.

"Oh! You're up Jiro." You turned and smiled at him.

"Yeah. What are you doing?" He padded across the floor.

"Just making you some breakfast. What-?" He wrapped his arm around you.

"Just making breakfast hmm?" You could feel him grin against your neck as his hand snaked down your body. His chest pressed against your back.

You tipped your head back against his shoulder, a small sigh escaped your throat, "Manjiro, I'll burn the-"

His other hand grabbed the pan and shoved it across the stove, off the burner as he reached over to shut the stove off, "Now c'mere"

Lips trailing down your jawline, nipping under your ear, Mikey's hand reached between your thighs, fingers swiping at your folds. "You're so wet."

You whined in response, your hips stuttering, chasing his hand as he pulled it away. A blush spread across your face when he brought his hand up in front of you, watching your slick web between the fingers. "Jiro, stop. That's embarrassing." You tried to shove his hand back down between your legs, urging him to continue.

He chuckled, his hot breath fanning your ear, bringing his hand to his mouth, his eyes closed as he licked your essence off his fingers, "Shh baby, lemme have my fun."

Baji

When he opened the door, the last thing he expected to see was you dancing in the living room to your own personal concert, music turned up so loud you didn't even hear the door. Baji couldn't help but smile as he watched you twirl around the room, singing along with the music.

You gasped as he grabbed you, dipping you down deeply, fangs showing past his lips, laughing as you grabbed his jacket instinctively. "Kei!" You cried out.

Standing, he pulled you up and close to his body just as the song switched to a slower tempo, "Look like you're having fun so I wanted to join in" he mentioned, swaying you both to the song.

You pouted, sticking your lower lip out, "You scared me."

"You never even heard me come in?" He asked, "What if I was a burglar?"

"I'd fight them off." you argued back.

Baji laughed, running his hands down your sides to grip your hips, a sly smirk spreading across his face, "Baby? Where are your panties?"

"Got out of the shower and just grabbed one of your shirts out of the drawer." Bringing your hands up his chest, you gripped his jacket, bringing your bodies flush together.

Baji growled, reaching his hands behind your thighs, pulling you up as your legs wrapped around him on instinct. "What if I really was a burglar?"

You gasped, arms winding behind Baji's neck, steadying yourself. "Good thing you aren't" You giggled, kissing along his jaw, reaching his lips, biting his bottom lip.

Baji groaned, hands massaging the back of your thighs while he kissed you, maneuvering the apartment. Baji refused to let go of you, sitting on the bed with you in his lap, his hands grinding your hips down on his clothed cock. The rough material of his jeans dampening.

"God you look fuckin sexy like this" Baji slurred between kisses. "Wanna give you a treat for lookin so good f'me"

Chifuyu

The last thing he expected when he walked into the bedroom was to find you, his shirt pulled up to your stomach, no panties on. Your breath was steady while you napped. He could feel his cock twitch in his pants while he watched you.

Quickly, he tossed his work apron and shirt in to the hamper, making is way across the room. He crawled behind you and pulled you against him, "baby, wake up."

You mumbled, grabbing his arm that was around you. He was kissing along the back of your neck. Hands reaching under your shirt, you could feel his fingertips graze the bottom of your breasts.

sighing, you wiggled yourself closer to Chifuyu, suddenly remembering you had no panties on. "Oh, Fuyu! I'm sorry!" you tried to pull away, embarrassed.

Chifuyu tightened his grip around you, "No baby, please, stay like this. Why are you embarrassed?"

"I didn't meant to fall asleep like this." You settled back in, relaxing into Chifuyus arms.

"Wearing my shirt?" He questioned.

You huffed, "I missed you and it smells like you."

You felt his hand trail down your side and grip your hip, pulling your ass back against him. "Looks really good on you." he whispered behind you.

"Oh yeah? You think so?" you flirted back.

Chifuyu nipped at the back of your neck, making you jump. He wrapped his arm tightly around you, "Yeah, I think so."

You smiled, turning your head, you looked at Chifuyu, "Gonna do something then?"

#awks talks #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #tr smut #tokyo rev smut #Mikey smut #Baji smut #chifuyu smut

[gazeboarcade]

today's vibes? sickening.

the muppet's 2011 soundtrack? on.

the vibes now? slightly less horrendous.

#trying to manifest the energy of lifes a happy song when I could rlly use a hot minute to do smthn fun #I miss being able to just Hang Out with people you know #like get in the car and just drive somewhere #and like goof around and I miss summer and the beach so bad jfc #LITERALLY SHUT UP WHILE I WAS MAKING THIS POST GF ASKED IF I WANNA WATCH THE MUPPET MOVIE #GUYS I LOVE HER SM

[ptergwen]

Could you write a fic where Tom is in an interview and talking about the reader as his current gf and also being his first love/childhood love?

woah i wrote kind of a lot like we got DETAILED here 😭 have fun

tom’s love life has been the topic of many conversations over the years. he’s gotten countless questions about who he’s dating and what he looks for in a partner. you’d think the hype would die down at some point, but no. even more rumors have begun to spiral as he promotes cherry.

thank the nosy interviewers for that. they’re taking all their chances to get up close and personal.

“so, let’s talk about love,” an interviewer prompts tom one afternoon. he sits up straighter in his chair, expression serious. “sure, let’s.” “what do you think about it?” she’s being vague so she’ll get the most clickable answers. “do you mean, like, in this film? or just in life?” tom wears a curious smirk now. he glances off to the side, where you’re sat watching.

you’ve been sitting in on his interviews as of late to keep him entertained. as much as the movie means to him, he gets bored of answering the same questions about it. having you there to snicker at his jokes or blow him kisses really livens things up. it’s been that way since you were little. you’re always cheering tom up even if he doesn’t realize he needs any.

“both,” the woman replies, mirroring his cheeky smile. “right, that’s what i thought.” tom clears his throat and raises an eyebrow. “so i’m not mistaken, love in my own life?” “anything you feel like sharing.” she beams into the camera while he nods to himself. you give tom a little smile of approval, which he catches from the corner of his eye. he chuckles at the gesture.

“easy enough. i’ll start with cherry, then,” he decides, getting back into the movie. the interviewer nods for him to go on. “you know, cherry’s always been kind of unlucky in the relationship department.” tom pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts. “until he meets emily, and things are still a bit complicated with her. i’d say it’s the same way for me.”

you jaw drops off camera, tom doing his best to stifle a laugh. he’s the biggest tease to walk this earth. “oh, that can’t be right,” tom’s interviewer insists with a mischievous grin. “you’re one of the most eligible bachelors out there.” “not exactly eligible, actually,” he mutters and twiddles his thumbs in his lap. a smile creeps onto his face.

she doesn’t miss that. “you do have a special someone after all?” tom squints at her through the screen. “after all? who’s been asking?” he jokes, the woman laughing like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “everyone has. the entire world.” you make wide eyes at tom. he’s never given many details about his dating life before, so this is a big step to take.

“well,” he starts, glancing over at you subtly. “yes, i’m a taken man.” “by who?” the interviewer blurts. she’s the first person to get anything out of him. “um,” tom breathes out an awkward laugh. you mouth it’s okay to him, ready to give the people what they’ve been craving.

you’ve had this conversation with tom a couple of times. he’s never wanted to put any pressure on you about going public, so it’s been your call if and when you do. now, you’ve made it.

“my, uh, my best friend. it’s not harrison, for those of you who know him.” tom bites back another smile. you sport one of your own, the tips of his ears turning red. “does this best friend have a name?” the woman questions. he looks to you again for your permission to say it. you think about it for a few seconds, then you give in.

“it’s y/n. you might recognize her,” tom explains, shifting in his chair. “she’s been on my instagram a few times, other stuff like that,” the interviewer makes a mental note to insert his posts of you in the video. “yes, yes. i think i do. you said she’s your best friend?” she clasps her hands. he’s fully blushing now, you giggling quietly at the sight.

“since secondary school, yeah. we met in one of our classes. english, i believe,” tom hums. “i was sitting alone, so she came and sat next to me.” he’s grinning at the fond memory. you feel your face starting to get hot. “how sweet. it seems like you became fast friends,” the woman suggests, throwing more questions out.

“what happened that turned your friendship to a relationship?”

it was when you were two wiser and more experienced adults that you and tom came to understand your connection. there was one moment specifically that turned you from friends to something more, though. tom will share that story with his interviewer, since it seems like she’s into the gossip.

“we didn’t seal the deal until a couple of years ago.” tom breathes out a laugh at what he’s about to say. you’re well aware of it, rolling your eyes playfully. “but, there was a moment when we were kids that i knew i really liked her.” “please, spill,” tom’s interviewer happily requests. he gladly obliges.

“y/n asked me to practice kissing with her because she liked some other bloke.” tom whispers to his camera, “which wasn’t true, by the way. we’ll get to that.” you silently groan and throw your head back on your chair. he shoots you a wink before continuing. “she wanted to go out with him, and said it was a best friend’s job to help her... prepare.”

you press a kiss to your middle finger and stick it up at tom. “precious,” he sarcastically mumbles in response. “what happened next?” the woman reels him back in. tom focuses on the screen again. “right. so, i did some research on how to kiss.” he shakes his head at his former self. “i really should’ve been studying for my A levels or something.”

“when i’m all ready, i invite y/n/n over so we can ‘practice’.” tom makes air quotes around the world, you murmuring, “i hate you,” only for him to hear. “i don’t know what website i used, but it was clearly awful.” he holds a hand up to pretend it’s your face. “i went in, and i just, like, stuck my tongue down her throat. like this.” he’s recreating the moment, you cringing at the vivid image you get.

“oh, no. what did she do?” the interviewer gives tom a pained look. “she nearly vomited, is what she did. ran home right after.” tom puffs air out of his cheeks. you press your lips together in satisfaction. “anyway, we’re reminiscing on it a few years later, and y/n/n tells me something very interesting.” leaning forward, the woman gestures for him to say it.

“i was the bloke she was gonna ask out, but my terrible kissing skills, or lack thereof, scared her off.” he exchanges a knowing look with you. his interviewer gasps. “i was like... are you fucking kidding me?” he only mouths the fucking part even though it’s getting bleeped. that makes you snort. “there’s a turning point, there’s a turning point,” tom reassures everyone.

“i told her i’ve gotten better since then, and we should try again if she wanted.” the interviewer puts a hand on her heart. “did you?” tom lets out a content sigh. “we did, and then we had a long talk about feelings and all that shit.” you make a heart with your fingers for him. he puckers his lips to mime kissing you, without tongue. “we’ve been together ever since.”

“what a lovely story. thank you for sharing that with me,” the woman butters him up more. she gets another idea. “now that you two are official, do we get to meet her?” “you kind of have,” tom retorts, but still checks with you. not expecting anything to come of this, you only shrug.

“i’ve noticed you looking off camera quite a lot. is y/n there?” his interviewer points out, much to both of your surprise. you’ve been at this for weeks, and she’s the only one to say something. “uh, she is,” tom finds himself admitting. he’s a terrible liar, so he almost had to. “tell her to come say hi!” the woman pushes. you look horrified when tom peeks over.

“no, no. i don’t wanna put her on the spot,” he brushes it off. “she’s a bit... camera shy.” “come on, just for a second!” she persists, waving you over like she can see you. this lady is starting to get on your nerves. “you just told me about that steamy kiss of yours. what’s the difference?” tom quirks an eyebrow. “i don’t know if-“

he stops mid sentence when you appear next to him. it’s to shut the interviewer up. although, you might as well reveal yourself before paparazzi do it.

“never mind,” tom grins a toothy grin up at you. “you wanna have a seat, darling?” “happy to,” you hum as he pats his knee. you take your spot on his thigh, an arm slinging around his neck. he wraps his around your middle. the interviewer is so stunned, she’s finally out of things to say. this could quite literally break the internet.

your voice a low whisper, you speak into his ear. “i can’t believe i’m doing this. you should’ve stopped me.” tom squeezes you closer and tilts his head to the side. “what if i didn’t want to?” “my god.” you plant a quick kiss on his cheek, leaving tom’s mouth hanging open.

“there’s your thumbnail.”

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland au #tom holland request #tom holland smut

[bibbykins]

can u give us a glimpse into what arguing w/ the princes would be like? love ur work btw!!

You bet! I actually had something written about this ages ago but never finished it so I’ll paste it here and add some more!

Warnings: 18+ (just like my whole page and all my works are)This is where the toxicity and unhealthiness of these relationships show, manipulation, yelling, lying, mentions of sex, mentions of rough sex, mentions of various sexual acts (cunnilingus, fellatio, exhibition) I beg of you to not put up with any of this shit irl let fiction stay in the fictional world yknow? I always ramble in my fics about this but I figured I should add it here for good measure

Jin:

Where the other boys rarely ever just “argue” and it is either a fight or nothing, you guys just argue sometimes, never rlly fight

This ties back to the fierce honesty policy you have between each other, but you both are so stubborn so arguing does happen

You both usually start by saying snarky things until one of you breaks and says what is really bothering them, which doesn’t take long at all

If you cry, congrats, you automatically won bc Jin not only does not know how to deal with a woman’s tears, he cannot fathom his one true love crying

Although you usually try to continue explaining your reasoning bc you don’t wanna win by crying, you wanna win bc you’re right

Jin, similar to Jimin, respects you a lot, so the other girls seldom ever catch him acting like a clown’

His downfall is just being bad at expressing his feelings bc he thinks you just know, like you read minds or something

Jin usually apologizes by asking what you want after he forfeits his pride so if it’s a gift, he’s on it, sex? say less. 

He usually prefers to pamper you for a night, not even cumming during sex unless you tell him to

You’re the one who threatens the other fellas when they’re disrespecting their s/o, intentionally or not, and boy are they frightened. You rlly have a way with insults

Yoongi:

Bickers with you, but doesn't fight and everyone does not understand how bc he’s so standoffish to everyone else

Bc your relationship has the most public eyes on it, gossip columns are floored when they cannot find flaws or rumors of fights, and most are too intimidated by Yoongi to just make them up

You both read each other like a book, so the only time anything comes up is if you don’t like what you’re reading at that moment and vice versa, then a fight might start but it is shockingly rare

If he makes you cry, the fight is over, he lost. Yes, this is a running theme among the guys bc they are all whipped dummies

Very perceptive of your feelings, so never really worries about fighting with you or you hiding anything from him

You know how to get him to fess up so it's not the worst system of communication (still not healthy in the slightest but that’s the yandere life here)

He doesn't really try to lie to you or hide anything since you're also pretty bonkers so if he destroyed someone’s career bc he thought they looked at funny, you just roll your eyes and tell him he’s silly

You are the one that Jungkook and Taehyung are terrified of (It’s just about all the hyungline gf’s they are rlly scared of)

You’re usually so bubbly and energetic, but if you get pissed off, you’re as frightening if not more frightening than Yoongi

I should add Yoongi prefers to make up by marathon eating you out, at some point, it feels like he’s getting a kick out of it, but you’re in no place to complain tbh

Hoseok:

Not a lot of fighting here tbh bc you are still healing and your talent is in deescalating situations and telling people’s feeling

Your job is literally a behavior analyst so you will just deadass be like, “I can tell you’re getting frustrated to a point where effective communication won’t be possible, so how can I help calm you down?”

Makes him go silent real quick and reevaluate everything he has ever thought or done

For this reason, he just sighs and apologizes, genuinely bc you can absolutely tell when he’s just saying it to shut you up

He is the only one that will allow you to leave (the room, not the house) not that you want to leave the building considering the dangers you know are out there

Once you both cool off, you’ll have him state what he thought about and vice versa

You give advice to all the girls on how to do this, but not all of them are brave enough to try

So you go full mama bear mediator and step in when you feel the need

You genuinely frighten these guys bc you have this innate ability to make them feel dumb as fuck

Namjoon:

No fights rlly but misunderstandings happen that makes Joon go manic

You get frustrated bc he does this instead of just talking to you, but he’s learning little by little

The moment you aren’t smiling or trying to make a light joke with him, fight over, you won, he is worried

Bc he knows if you’re not smiling, you’re almost definitely going to cry and when you cry, he cries

You actually implement Angel’s tips and see some improvement with communication as time goes on

Namjoon’s love language in making up is grand gestures, so he’ll rent out a whole restaurant, or take you on a shopping spree to an art supply store, anything that will bring a smile to your face

You intimidate the other guys when they fight with their darlings bc you keep a smile the whole time you are threatening them and holy fuck is it eerie. You usually try to distract the upset girls post-argument with a craft or fun art facts

Jimin:

What makes the relationship work are your selfish tendencies working in tandem with his more sinister ones, but it can’t always work that way

You both test each other all the time despite agreeing on almost everything because the relationship is not a fight for dominance, but control-control you usually win 

The closest you get to real fighting is rough sex, most of the time you have disagreements that you resolve with conversation

It's the most “healthy” (it’s not all that healthy tbh) thing about the relationship and it blows everyone's minds, but it only happens bc Jimin has always respected you, and he genuinely knows that you don’t need him as much as he needs you

But on the extremely rare occasion there is a fight it is never in front of anyone and all hell breaks loose: screaming, yelling, slamming doors, it all seems like endless hell bc you both are too stubborn to say when you’re wrong

Until you cry

He really can't stand the sight of you crying, bc you rarely ever cry. He sees you as really tough and his whole perception of the world shatters once he realizes he’s the cause of your tears

Making up includes, you guessed it, sex. Like calling into work bc you can’t walk sex (Jimin cries during this sex bc he feels undeserving but by round 2 he stops)

The girls come to you post-argument to rant bc you live to talk shit with them to vent

Taehyung:

Rarely ever fights with you, because he absolutely despises doing so and you typically do what he says without question

But when you do fight, it always ends with both of you crying and hugging

During the argument though, he can say some seriously out of pocket shit, bc he lacks impulse control and you take that shit to hear bc who wouldn’t 

The fights are nightmarish and hard to watch bc at some point it just becomes Taehyung losing his mind while you cower until he realizes how much of an asshole he’s being or until you try to leave mid convo

Bless him if he were to ever make you cry in front of the other MC’s, my guy would be ripped to shreds bc the other girls do not fuck around

Hates to ever be the cause of your tears so you both are very quick to makeup and he can spend up to weeks making up for it

I’m talking gifts, money, food, dates, clothes, he is basically your personal assistant that pays you when he feels bad

The girl’s come to you after an argument for quiet time or some cute embroidery time

Jungkook:

You don't fight often, but when you do it's disastrous bc he is wildly paranoid and you are wildly insecure

You almost always go into a panic attack, fearing he'll leave you and he immediately loses all fight in him and feels like shit

And he is absolutely crushed seeing you hyperventilate or clutch your chest while he's yelling so he just stops like mid yell will just close his mouth and take a deep breath before going to you 

Immediately apologizes when it happens

Usually cries with you while he holds you

Another fella that will get torn to shreds by the other girls if they even catch a whiff of him being anything other than sunshine and rainbows to you rip jungkook tbh

He makes it up to you the same way Taehyung makes it up, by shutting his mouth and doing whatever you want, and giving you whatever you want

When the other girls get into an argument with their guy, they come to you for a hug and some quality time distraction

#ask #anon ask #seven princes of campus #yandere bts

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 21

post directory

em: viola and becs love their lil hikes

em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing

em: hmm.

em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes

em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her

obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks

obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"

em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights

obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,

em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like

em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj

em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks

obsetress: dani gets SO excited

---

obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches

obsetress: no but um

obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected

obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh

obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"

obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................

obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"

"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"

"no?"

"it was months"

em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny

em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’

obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too

---

obsetress:

obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???

obsetress: a whole babe

obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this

em: god she’s so Hot

obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter

obsetress: and this exact face

em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments

obsetress: they have absolute blowouts

obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim

obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other

em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet

obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later

obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it

em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex

obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"

"wot"

"what?"

em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad

em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!

obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad

em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like

em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’

---

obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like

obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just

em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft

obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"

"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"

and jamie just groans

em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf

em: blows kiss to rebecca

---

em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back

em: jamie: ok love

em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B

obsetress: screamed

obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go

obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens

obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else

em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to

obsetress: god she DOES

obsetress: she's so good at it

em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case

obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going

em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum

em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second

obsetress: she pauses

obsetress: then

obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"

em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again

obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning

obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer

em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM

obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like

obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"

em: dani; thanks :)

---

em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think

obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo

em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps

obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like

obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know

obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo

obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird

obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it

em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going

em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her

em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not

obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place

obsetress: "i didn't say that"

"you literally did say that"

"why would i say that"

(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"

(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."

em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal

em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???

obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"

"don't think i will, actually"

em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like

---

em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’

em: therapy queen

em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like

em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like

em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow

obsetress: jamie just grins a lil

em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)

---

em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around

em: a nice thought

obsetress: Wholesome

obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like

obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"

obsetress: all quiet and pensive

em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too

em: and then even quieter she’s like

em: thanks

em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor

obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them

"why are you two being weird"

"we're not–- what?"

"we're just sitting here, baby"

obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes

---

obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little

obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit

em: jamie absolutely has um

em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and

em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like

em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile

obsetress: "i was gonna––"

"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"

em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?

em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like

em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca

em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project

obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing

obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space

obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"

em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like

em: (swings axe) winters coming

obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin

obsetress: jamie's all wot

obsetress: and dani's like

obsetress: :) you're hot :)

em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um

em: if u wanna

em: mimes taking shirt off

obsetress: jamie does it

obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head

obsetress: but she's grinning

obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back

obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders

---

obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch

em: oh gosh

em: i love her she truly is a tragic character

obsetress: same

obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife

obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her

obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion

obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow

em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic

em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents

obsetress: yeah!

em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor

em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later

em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes

obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,

obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?

obsetress: i can also see like

obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"

em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like

em: lets her get it out of her system

em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’

obsetress: she WOULD

obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"

em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.

em: rebecca: mmhmm

obsetress: jamie: me?

obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there

---

em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango

obsetress: oh my god?

em: drawing from that

em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what

em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’

‘wot, me?’

'mmhm’

‘old fashioned?!’

‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘

‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her

em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol

em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes

obsetress: rEBECCA

---

obsetress: thinking thoughts rebecca jamie same height but rebecca heels

obsetress: jamie looking up @ her all

obsetress: rebecca in her heels and is chilly and jamie getting up onto her tip toes to wrap her big coat around rebecca's shoulders

em: softtt

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #featuring soft jambeccas... #one more! #when im done editing it! #would u believe we go on a lot of tangents also i edit a bunch of keysmashes out jshabfkas

[cherrypieships]

the amusement park: chapter two

A/N: whew omg it’s been a while since I posted! Anyway I’m back and better than ever with part two, the finale of the amusement park!! This chapter includes a trigger warning for fake blood and cult mentions. It's a haunted house, so it isn't a real cult, but I'd rather be safe than sorry <3

Ship: davey jacobs x pepper simmons (s/i), featuring my best friend V and my gf Khourey and their respective f/os, race higgins and jack kelly!

Summary: When the sun sets on Canobie Lake park, the amusement park turns into a Halloween extravaganza, where Pepper and Davey find themselves paired up once more.

Once the sun had dipped onto the horizon, the last dregs of color fading from the sky as the stars came out, the group found themselves heading towards the sides of the park, where the haunted houses were set up. Mickey looped their arm through Pepper’s, pulling her close and pointing out the performers walking past; a clown with a chainsaw, a long-haired girl in a tattered hospital gown, a man wearing a pig’s head as a mask.

“So they basically walk around the park and try to scare people.” She explained, and nudged V so they could listen in as well. “But little kids sometimes wear these little glow-y ball necklaces, see? And the performers can’t scare them.” She pointed out a pair of kids walking past, both of their t-shirts illuminated by spiked plastic spheres attached to long black cords. Sure enough, the actors walked right past them.

Vi pushed their bottom lip out, turning towards Mickey. “That’s so fucking cute.” They cried.

Pepper smiled. It was pretty cute, and a good idea on the park’s part. “Do they wear them into the houses?” She asked curiously.

“I fuckin’ hope not.” Jack scoffed. “I wanna get scared, I’m not here to miss a good haunted house cause of some kid.” He smiled when Mickey swatted him. “What? It’s true!”

Mickey’s eyes rolled. “Yeah, but don’t be a dick about it.” They chastised, going to swat him again, and as their hand made contact, Jack snatched it and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Averting her gaze, Pepper felt something cold swirl in the pit of her stomach at the casual intimacy. She focused on the gum wrapper on the ground beside her shoe instead of whatever that feeling was.

V’s knuckles rapped against Pepper’s forearm, a gentle knock for her attention. “Hey, I gotta hit the bathroom, you wanna be my buddy?” They asked, though the raise of their eyebrows gave the impression that the question was simply a formality; there was no option.

Making the journey to the restrooms a short one, Vi didn’t even pretend they had to pee, instead moving to stand in front of the mirror and check their eyeliner. “So are you gonna make a move tonight?” They asked, voice quieter than usual.

Pepper sighed, of course this was the reason she was in here. “Dude, I don’t fuckin’ know.” She said, exasperation travelling across her features at even the thought of confessing her feelings. She’d talked a big game about it before, about how she loved Davey, about how she’d confess her feelings for him the second she got the idea he liked her back, but truthfully she was… well, she was scared.

Vi barely looked up from the mirror, but their expression softened. “Obviously you don’t have to,” they reassured. “But I bet that if you don’t at least ask how he feels he’ll never tell.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “That’s because there’s-“

The door to the bathroom flew open and Mickey blustered inside, annoyance clear on their face. “Okay, how dare you two leave me alone with those idiots.”

V grimaced. “Oh shit, sorry. I just wanted a minute to see what was up with Pepper and Davey.”

Mickey’s lips pursed, eyebrows raising onto her forehead. “Oh shit okay what’s the deal?” They asked, moving closer.

Against her better judgement, Pepper leaned her head against the bathroom wall. “There’s nothing to tell! I don’t have any plans to tell him, and there’s no way someone who talks as much as Davey would have a crush on someone and not say something.” She looked pointedly at her best friends.

“That… is an excellent point.” Mickey acquiesced.

Vi lifted a finger. “Or! Maybe that’s the way you can tell that he does like you.” They moved toward the sink to wash the eyeliner remnants from under their fingernails.

“What?”

Mickey nodded. “Oh, no, I totally get it.”

“Get what? What are you talking about?”

V smiled, turning to put their damp hands on Pepper’s shoulders. “You just said Davey never shuts up.” Pepper nodded slowly. “He’ll talk to you about anything, right?” Another nod.

“But he never talks about what’s up between the two of you.” Mickey finished. “Literally, even if Jack asks, he brushes him off.”

Brow furrowed, Pepper turned back to Vi, who was grinning. “If you don’t ask, he’ll never tell.” They clarified, an echo of their earlier statement. “Don’t fucking focus on what he says, bitch, you have to ask about what he’s not saying.”

Terrifyingly, that made it click. Something welled up hot and thick in Pepper’s throat, hope or fear she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, she wasn’t budging at her friends’ optimism. “You two are reading too far into this.” She countered weakly.

Mickey grabbed her hand, squeezed it a few times. “Listen, we’re not pressuring you.” They explained, and Violet hummed in agreement. “You don’t have to ask him anything or tell him anything, if you just wanna vibe tonight, that’s totally cool.”

Just like that, the tension melted from Pepper’s body, her psyche apparently pleased at being left alone for the moment. She looked between her friends, Vi’s warm smile and Mickey’s kind eyes, took a deep breath, and went back out into the park.

Back where the boys were waiting, the curtain to the first haunted house had lifted, and the line began to move. Jack waved them down with a smile, and they gapped into the line. He pulled the park pamphlet from his back pocket and flipped to the back, where the haunted house attractions were listed. “Okay so we started next to the big spinn-y thing. Which is… the cult one, The Culling.” He announced.

“Yeah, Jack.” Race deadpanned. “It’s on the sign.” He pointed above the line, which, sure enough, boasted the name of the site.

Jack swatted his friend with the pamphlet before tucking it into his back pocket. “I knew that.” He grinned, throwing an arm around Mickey’s shoulders and pulling them closer.

Davey nudged Pepper’s side. “Partners?” He smiled, offering his elbow as their group stepped up to the banister blocking off the entryway.

She ignored the wink that Vi threw at her, and looped her arm through Davey’s with a blush and a simper. “Hope we don’t die in there.” She mused.

He patted the hand she’d placed on his bicep, warm in contrast to her poorly-circulated own ones. “If we do, we’ll die doing what we loved.”

Her head tilted. “What’s that?”

“Kicking and screaming.”

Pepper crumpled into a fit of laughs as the employee lifted the bannister. “Have fun.” The woman at the entryway smiled, her eyebrows raising mischievously.

Race and V went first, obviously, Race throwing his arm across their shoulders and pulling them close. Mickey and Jack went next, Jack’s hand curled protectively into the back of her shirt as they ducked through the curtain. A billow of dry-ice smoke kicked out at her and Davey as she gripped his arm tighter, moving through the curtain and into a room flooded with red light.

There was a man in the corner, a pair of bloodied goat horns protruding from his head, who growled lowly at them as they walked past. Davey cast a look in his direction, following in the footsteps of his friends, and they heard Race scream further up ahead. Pepper laughed a little at that, the adrenaline beginning to swirl hot in her veins.

The next room was full of actors, at least a dozen kneeling frozen in mock prayer, and the woman to Pepper’s right let out a broken wail, making her jump. Davey’s hand came to grab hers again, this time his fingers tangling with hers. He was laughing gently at her fright, something that might have pissed her off if it had been anyone else.

They passed through a hallway full of strobelights and white walls painted with bloody handprints, the thrum of electricity the only noise for a moment, and Pepper opened her mouth to ask when the Cult Stuff would start, when a man wearing a decaying goat’s skull for a mask barrelled around the corner, making both her and Davey scream.

She curled into his side, awkwardly stepping on his shoe as she did, and watched the man with enormous eyes as he tilted his mask curiously at them. Davey laughed a little, and whether he was trying to laugh off his fright or genuinely enjoying himself, Pepper couldn’t tell.

They rounded the corner, careful of the actor who’d popped out at them, and turned into a room seemingly devoid of anyone, except for Mickey and Jack, who were giggling as they shuffled into the next room. The walls were tall and painted white, a hidden projector playing a black and white video reminiscent of those old war propaganda commercials. It was too loud for Pepper to hear anything properly, but she could catch snippets of the voiceover, “Join us in… the great and powerful… be afraid…” as the video flicked between church services, goats on farms, hypnotic black and white spirals.

Davey tilted his head at the screen. “Christians, am I right?”

Swallowing a laugh, she jutted her elbow into his side. “This is not the time, David.” She snorted, coyly tugging him closer by the anchor his hands provided. Fuck it, why not get close to him while she had the chance?

The end was in sight, she could see the cool blue light of the outdoors pouring in from the other side of the final room; one that was lined with pews, with a goat-headed preacher at the front, holding a black leather-bound book and screaming about the end of days. The church (cult?) -goers were in various stages of worship, some with their arms in the air, some reading their scripture, some sobbing towards the sky. A shudder ran through Davey, one so intense that she felt it in her own skin, and she wondered, briefly, what was so freaky about this particular scene that he-

SLAM

The actor in the pew she’d just passed closed his book with a deafening bang. She jumped, screamed so loud it felt like the sound had been ripped from her teeth, and didn’t realize she was shaking until Davey’s arm encircled her, speeding past the latter half of the room and out of the first haunted house.

Pepper swallowed a mouthful of fresh air, held it for a few seconds, and released it with a pleased laugh. She turned her face up to Davey’s, ready to ask him if his heart was racing the way hers was, when he cut her off, gripping her shoulders like she’d disappear. “Are you okay?” He demanded.

Her eyebrows pinched together, her smile melting at the way his eyes were blown wide. “Yeah? I-I’m fine?” She said, reaching up to grip his wrists. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

Every hint of expression faded from his face. The fire left his eyes, his hold on her softening, his jaw and browline going slack at the realization. “Yeah, I… I thought he-”

Race’s hands landed on either one of their shoulders. “Hey, Jack wants to know if you guys wanna do the hotel one or the factory one next, we’re at a tie.”

Pepper turned to him, blinking back the heat in her cheeks. “Oh fuck, okay, we’ll be right there.”

There were four more haunted houses, each of them with a bit of walking distance between them. Davey didn’t release her hand until they’d cleared the last attraction.

---

Still reeling from the adrenaline rush of the haunted houses, the group made their way toward the back of the park where the Ferris Wheel resided. Violet and Race were skipping down the lanes, their laughter fluttering in the cool autumn wind. Mickey and Jack were walking in front of them, their pinkies linked as they recounted their haunted house experiences.

Pepper tried to ignore that Davey was still so close to her.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

“Which one was your favorite?” He asked, the back of his hand brushing against Pepper’s as they walked. He was looking down at her, nose all rosy and cheeks flushed. He wore autumn so well.

She pursed her lips as she thought. “The cult one.” She settled after a moment.

Davey grinned. “Mine too. Or the hotel was really good.” He turned to her once they reached the line for the ferris wheel. “Y’know, when that guy back there slammed his bible closed I thought he hit you.” His fingers twitched, like he was waiting to reach for something.

There it was. The reason for his earlier freakout.

Laughing lightly, Pepper shook her head, curls falling in her face as she tried to dispel any of his remaining worry. “Oh God, no. Isn’t that illegal, anyway?” She focused on the ferris wheel ahead of them, the eighty feet of blinking lights and rocky baskets that they’d be shoved into; anything besides the bewildering look that was back on Davey’s face. Ahead of them, their friends were being ushered into passenger cars. Jack planted a kiss to the side of Mickey’s head and whispered something into their ear that made them grin.

Pepper tried not to be jealous, and failed.

Beside her, Davey was rambling again. She tuned in right in the middle of his spiel. “It’s some kinda torture house, basically. They just wail on you for like ten hours, and they film it, too. You have to sign a waiver and everything, and it’s like, forty pages or something. I watched a video of this one girl who went there and she said-”

“You two all set?” The ride operator asked, her smile bright as she cut into Davey’s rambling.

He blinked, like he hadn’t realized how close they were. “Oh, um. Yeah, I guess we are.” He resolved.

They clambered into the rocky car and belted themselves in, waited for the attendant to lock their door, and began their ascent.

Immediately, Pepper felt the wind chill. “Holy fuck, it’s freezing up here.” She barked. Davey’s cardigan was warm, sure, but the cold air cut through it like a knife.

Davey turned to her and readjusted the way he was sitting, opening up his arms. “I know, c’mere.” He wiggled his fingers and everything and, well, how was he supposed to say no to that?

She scooted closer until her leg was pressed right up against his, and her upper body curled into him. They’d done this before, a million times, when watching movies or at parties when it got crowded, or when she asked him to read to her, and Davey, ever the wonderful companion, never complained-

Oh.

Oh, no.

That was what her friends meant.

Davey’s arms wrapped around her tight. Without thinking, her arm did the same. “Better?” He asked, pulling back to look down at her.

Pepper smiled with her heart in her throat. “Always.” She said, and looked up at him.

And there he was. The same Davey as always, with his pale skin and round hazel eyes, now grinning down at her like she had hung all the stars in the sky just for him. Here he was, and he was so close that their noses were almost touching. Not correcting strangers who thought they were dating. Holding her hand and giving her his clothes and sharing drinks with her. Here he was- and she was confused.

His mouth twitched, the way it always did when he was worried. “You okay, Pep?” He asked, quieter now.

A slow nod. “Yeah… just, um, thinking.” She responded. He opened his mouth, eager to ask more, but she cut him off. “About us.” She said, feeling bold now.

Davey’s eyebrows just about skyrocketed off his face. “Us.”

“Yeah.” Pepper’s hands were shaking, but she didn’t think she could stand another minute of this. All of her affections bottled up like a powder keg while he played with them so nonchalantly. “Davey, what are we?” She hoped the question didn’t come out as raw as it felt, but she could almost taste the blood on her tongue.

“Oh.” His shoulders dropped, and he looked away. His arms didn’t move from around her, but his eyes were flicking back and forth. “We’re… you’re… m-my best friend and...” He scrunched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend and... I’m so stupidly in love with you.”

Pepper sat up as the Ferris wheel stopped. They were at the top now.

“I know that’s a lot to throw at you, I’m sorry, but all day I’ve just been thinking about you and about how much it feels like you’re this missing piece of me, you know? Like every time I need someone you’re there, and every time I talk about you to anyone I get this big grin on my face. And then earlier when that lady said what she said, it just felt so right.” He’d been gesturing wildly with his hands until she grabbed them.

She pulled his hands into her lap, encasing them with her own cold ones. “Davey.”

He sighed with a wry smile. “You can tell me no, Pep, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Davey.” She tried again.

“And it’s not gonna ruin anything, I promise. I love you but that’s not gonna make me turn into an asshole, I still care about you as a friend.”

“David.” She grabbed the sides of his face in her cold hands. His jaw was tense. “I love you.” She said, plainly, the way you would state any other fact. The sky was blue, the Earth was round, and Pepper Simmons loved Davey Jacobs.

And for once, Davey- sweet, lovely Davey- didn’t start talking about love, or about basic heteronormativity, or fucking haunted houses. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Any great novelist, or even just your average writer, always compared a great kiss to fireworks. But this, Pepper thought, was better than any fireworks she’d ever seen. It was coming home after a long night. It was sitting by a fire on a cold winter day. It was years of sharing beds and writing texts in secret languages, of sitting at each other’s family dinners, of shared secrets and pinkie promises, playful teasing and pathetic yearning, all wrapped up in a soft press of lip to lip. It was Davey. Of course it was. In retrospect, nobody else had ever stood a chance.

Pepper was giggling when she pulled away from his lips. “I love you.” She repeated.

The lights of the amusement park were glittering in his eyes. “And I love you.” He was beaming, their foreheads tipped together. Then he started laughing, soft and slow and bubbly, as though he were savoring it. “Oy, we’re so ridiculous.” He said as the ferris wheel began to turn again.

She could’ve stayed there for days, looking at each of the freckles on his face like little star clusters in her vision. If there were ever a photo she could keep framed on the walls of her memory, it would be this; his smile, the ivory skin around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. She was laughing too. “Yeah, we are.” Her head leaned against his shoulder, a sigh escaping before she could stop it. “How long?”

There was a beat, and she knew Davey was thinking. “Um, four years maybe? It was the summer before junior year of high school, I know that much.” The thumb of his right hand, still around her, began rubbing at her shoulder.

Pepper sat upright, aghast. “Oh my God, you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.” He grinned.

“Holy fuck.” She snorted. “We could’ve been doing this for years!”

Davey poked her side, making her laugh in turn. “How about you?” There was the look in his eyes again, and this time she recognized it. Dreamy, warm, a little vulnerable.

“Senior Prom. Remember we slow danced together?”

The ferris wheel stopped again, this time with them at the back. “Yeah, holy shit. I was so nervous that night.” Pepper laughed, head tossed back. “I’m serious! I was so sweaty, I’m surprised you didn’t comment on it.”

“Your hands were like holding clams.” Another poke, this one less playful. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. We’re here now.”

A kiss landed on her cheek, warm in stark contrast to the biting cold. “I can’t believe this.” He was laughing. “I can’t believe you liked me back.” He said.

Pepper nuzzled her nose into his neck. “I know. I can’t either.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, looked up at him and sighed.

He turned back to her. “You know they’re not gonna leave us alone, right?” He asked, tilting his chin towards the baskets below them that held their friends.

“I’m aware,” she mumbled. “I mean, they did call it.”

His lips curled up into a wry smile. “I know they did.” His fingers found the long strands of her hair, wrapped themselves in them. “Race and V haven’t left me alone about you for like, two years straight.” He shrugged. “And oh my God, if I have to hear Sarah and Les talk about it one more time I’m gonna explode.”

Pepper’s jaw dropped. “Sarah and Les were teasing you?”

He scoffed gently. “Are you kidding? They tell me to shut up every time I talk about how pretty you are.” And yeah, maybe she should have expected that, if he truly had been in love with her since junior year of high school, but Pepper’s body reacted quicker than she could recognize, her cheeks going hot and nose scrunching as a smile broke across her features.

“Well,” She said as the ferris wheel began to turn again. “Lucky for us, we probably have some time to kill before we have to face them again.” She bit at her lower lip, glancing up at him and hoping he would catch onto her proposition.

And, since Davey had always been smart, he did. “You’re right.” He breathed, and then leaned down to catch her in another kiss, one that went on, well… a little longer than the first.

Later, they had to face their friends, red-faced and smiling as they admitted what had happened. They had to endure a good hour’s worth of teasing, V and Mickey taking the opportunity to deliver a few well-intended pokes to Pepper’s sides, and Race and Jack offering high-fives to her- well, she supposed he was her boyfriend now.

The two of them climbed into the backseat of Race’s mom’s minivan again, this time hand-in-hand and sharing warm laughter. Davey stole another kiss from her, giggly and content, and promptly leaned his head on her shoulder to get some rest.

She supposed everything else could wait.

#drop a like/rb if you read!! #thank you so so so much to everyone who read this i'm actualy really proud of it #shout out to V and Khourey #davey #olive talks #my fic #the amusement park

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov/Hélène Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov/Hélène playlist annotations!

I stole several songs from a playlist my friends have and I’m not gonna put those on this list, I won’t pretend I came up with those

The ship playlists (since they aren’t for canon couples) are very much based on my headcanons. We don’t get to see them interact literally ever so I’ve just extrapolated what I can. Several of these songs are at least alluding to sex, I don’t really think they actually slept together for various reasons I can enumerate if someone asks, but it’s more about the vibes of the song.

Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco

It’s literally in the title. Bestie how much more explanation do you need? I don’t even like this song but it’s got the right energy

Those Nights - Bastille

“Aren’t we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days? Looking for somebody you can wake up with?”

Being drawn to each other because of mutual loneliness is a Thing in my interpretation of their relationship, and this hits the nail on the head.

But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

“Praying for love and paying in naïveté”

Again, mutual loneliness and desperation for anything resembling love. Also the “isn’t this exactly where you like me” bit fits because they won’t admit to liking each other outside of their weird intimate moments.

Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

“Drop our anchors in a storm”

The circumstances of their lives arent super fun at the moment so they find refuge in each other but in a very weird kind of unhealthy way! “We are a hurricane” sort of alludes to knowing that you’re causing problems/your relationship isn’t great.

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you”

It’s about not really being In Love but kind of convincing yourself you are because it makes you feel better in the circumstances. I don’t think either of them were fully into their relationship for various reasons. Not as in they didn’t want the other, more that they were both too aware it would never work for long.

Hall & Oates - Satchmode

“I want to be in love again, with you”

This one’s about wanting the idea of love and companionship more than you actually like the other person, which I feel like kind of fits. This song is framed as one person in love with the other and one hesitating, but i think this works for both of them to hesitate.

Feel Something - Jaymes Young

“Touch me, someone, I’m too young to feel so numb”

The I have tried like six times and I can’t word why I think this song works. I don’t even like it, I skip it every time, but I think it’s got something to do with loneliness and desperation for love driving them to look for it in places they wouldn’t normally? Who knows. Send me an ask if u do.

Another Place - Bastille

“Don’t make promises to me that you’re gonna break”

They could never actually be together for SO many reasons and I think they’re both pretty aware of that. They have no desire to pretend that their relationship is anything other than what it is (“we only ever wanted one thing from this”).

When You Were Young - The Killers

“You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you”

I do not think Hélène expected Dolokhkov to save her from anything except maybe monotony and loneliness, but this song slaps and if I can stretch the lyrics to work, I will

broken - lovelytheband

“I could be lonely with you”

Almost every song on here (including this one) is just. We’re messed up and I know we won’t really find love in each other but we might find solace for a while and be less lonely so uhhhhh wanna kiss me or what

Bleed Magic - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“You stand up, stand up, before I drag you down”

They are NOT good for each other! Toxic relationships uwu

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

I believe in bi4bi Hélène/Dolokhov

Enemy Fire - Bea Miller

“Sweet words from a serpent’s tongue”

This song is kinda complicated and parts of it don’t fit but the energy of “everything sucks including you but at least we can hide from the suckiness together” is sorta there. Originally I just added it for the soldier vibes because I was testing out songs but I realized i can fit some of the lyrics so on the playlist it goes

Angel of the Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

“Her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean”

They are horrible and cold to each other as a love language. This song is essentially just “Wow my evil scary gf is so hot” and you’re right Fyodor. She is.

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

I won’t lie this one’s mostly a joke, I just think the vibes of telling someone to shut up as (maybe because) you’re falling in love with them is Dolokhov/Hélène energy. Ignore all the parts about wanting to be with her forever and her being his destiny that is not why I added it.

Lone Ranger - Rachel Platten

“I’m just gonna leave, ‘cause baby I’m a lone ranger”

I do not think Dolokhov was intending to stay with her forever at all. Very rude of him. However, she probably also knew it wouldn’t last forever, she’s not stupid.

House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

“Promise me a place in your house of memories”

This is very much post-duel, their relationship has fizzled out but it was pretty important (do I mean emotionally or to the plot? I’ll never tell) and deserves to be remembered.

American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy

“I’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet”

SO MANY of these lyrics are so good for them like. Hélène’s beautiful Dolokhov’s a psycho... “you take the full truth and you pour some out” can you imagine them being open and honest with each other? Yeah, me neither. “We were pity sex” They were just sad and lonely! That was what allowed anything to happen at all in my head (not sex but bear with me it’s not my fault those are the lyrics). “All those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep” because Hélène is married to someone else, they really have no right to think of each other that way.

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

“He wasn’t good enough for her”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. Hélène’s complaints about Dolokhov staying with them are just the quoted lyric. “They had a problem with his baggy clothes” yeah Dolokhov’s not as rich and bougie and the rest of them and he’s certainly rough around the edges. And then the skater boy ending with a successful music career vs Dolokhov ending with a successful military career and a great reputation and both the women in the songs having sad endings...I’m not wrong.

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet - Fall Out Boy

“Does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?”

The affair vibes. The AFFAIR VIBES. And the concept of “I will never end up like him [the husband]/ behind my back I already am” in reference to using Hélène and deciding he hates her right after deciding she’s hot...okay! I see you kinning Pierre, Dolokhov. You ARE being just like her husband :/

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

“Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”

This is just Dolokhov’s massive I Hate Women monologue condensed. Stop blaming beautiful women for YOUR attraction to them maybe 🔫

Death Valley - Fall Out Boy

“Don’t take love off the table yet”

This is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is n-

I didnt add it for that reason it was about a vibe but then. I realized. Now the original reason doesn’t even matter.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - Fall Out Boy

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake”

Tell me the quoted lyric does not SCREAM Hélène/Dolokhov. You can’t. Also “I’ll weigh you down I’ll watch you choke/You look so good in blue” really captures hatred as a love language.

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller

Ok I stole this from my friends’ playlist but I did want to explain it because it’s not JUST Dolokhov and Hélène in my mind. The whole jealous fool second verse gives me Pierre around the duel energy as well

Bad Boy - Cascada

“Be my weekend lover but don’t be my friend”

Bernie Sanders voice I am once again asking you to hear me out about the unironic meme songs on my War and Peace character playlists. It’s got the refusal to admit that she actually likes hanging out with him down. The line “after some time you just pushed me aside” referring to Dolokhov teasing Pierre about their affair because he got bored. “I dont need you in my life again”...YEAH I’m fairly sure they dont interact in canon again after that.

Hayloft - Mother Mother

“My daddy’s got a gun”

This song started playing on accident once when I was listening to this playlist and I was like huh. It fits though. The gun thing is twofold: 1) Though he is not her father, Pierre does have a gun in the duel and 2) I think Vassily would happily shoot Dolokhov for his relationships with Vassily’s kids. It’s also just the general forbidden love vibes mixed with the violence vibes.

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

“I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places and we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

Have I been clear enough about my thesis that their relationship is based in mutual loneliness? Also, I like the acknowledgment that this is in fact the wrong place. I think they’re both very aware of that.

Walk Away - Franz Ferdinand

“Yes I’m cold but not as cold as you are”

This song is for them post-duel. Especially the “I cannot stand to see those eyes as apologies may rise/I must be strong, stay an unbeliever” because 1) I hear the word eyes, I think of Dolokhov and 2) I think she’s too smart to believe any apology he would give her, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. The song kinda reads as someone trying to convince themselves they’re happy that the relationship is over, which I think is definitely what happens for both of them.

Van Horn - Saint Motel

“Tell me do you hate me? Or do you wanna date me?”

Obsessed with the dynamic of “I like you but that’s embarrassing for both of us I’m gonna act like I hate you instead”

#war and peace #helene kuragina #fedya dolokhov #my post #w&p playlists #helenkhov #is that their ship name??? idk #someone tell me what it is ill owe u my life

[theartoftiinyideas]

first meetings and near-death experiences

[kageyama tobio x fem! reader]

a/n: my first ever post here, hope you enjoy a flustered blueberry boy and the gigantic amount of headcanons i spat out for him on a whim of inspiration. stong language ahead!

word count: it’s so fucking long you don’t even wanna know but it’s good shit i promise

summary: a lot of interesting people roam the train station late at night. at one moment, they appear to be stealing your precious volleyball. the next, they save your precious life.

——————

it was a really late Friday night and you were walking to the train station after your practice, gym bag slung on your shoulder and volleyball in your hand

you play beach volleyball, so you were sticky with sand and sweat, pleasantly tired but wanting to just go home after a long day and do absolutely nothing on the weekend

when you got to the station you almost smacked the information board with your ball, groaning about the fact that your train was only due in 30 minutes

stupid Miyagi public transportation and their stupid schedules

there was literally no one around this late, just some guy sitting on the other side of the tracks, and you grew bored in exactly 0.6 seconds

you decided to play around with your ball to kill time, but you were deadass tired, and one wrong move sent the ball flying in a direction you did not intend it to go to, whooshing over the train tracks and landing on the other side of the station, bouncing away as if it were laughing at you

now this station had their deep-ass train tracks running in the middle, so you would've had to cross over by the railway bridge to get your ball back, but there was no way in hell you were doing that as it would require you to physically move

meanwhile Kageyama's sitting on a bench with his earphones in, listening to his rage playlist and cursing that dumbass Hinata in his mind because he made him stay for extra practice, which caused him to miss his train and now he has to wait and ugh, shut it Tobio, nobody's buying your crap we know you like practicing with Hinata

so Kags is kinda pissed and zoned out, but he sees something bouncing from the corner of his eyes and wait just a second is that a volleyball? how'd that get there?

you're intensely brainstorming about what you should do when you spot the guy you've seen earlier get up to retrieve your ball and you let out a sigh of relief, thinking the situation was handled

but instead of throwing it back to you, the guy just kinda... stares at it with heart eyes questioningly

okay, that’s fine, he probably didn’t see you, you just have to make him notice you somehow and- woah woah wOAH

the guy had the audacity to actually start examining your ball, testing it out in his hands and throwing it against the wall like he's checking the quality before planning to s t e a l i t

and you're getting pissed because uhh excuse me wtf that's clearly not yours pal so you start calling out to him but he either doesn't hear you or doesn't want to hear you that little thief

thinking it was right damn time to resort to drastic measures, you begin full-blown screaming and frantically waving your limbs around to try and get his attention

meanwhile Kageyama is still trying to figure out the mysterious appearance of the volleyball because this boy can be lil dumb sometimes, but hey, what's that sound disturbing his loud ass music

he takes out an earphone and almost topples over from surprise because who the hell is screaming but then he's turning around with his angry af Tobio expression activated because who the hell is screaming ffs?¿

“well fucking finally, you asshole, at least we know you're not completely deaf. now give me back my ball.”

and Kags is even more annoyed now, scowl deepening and imaginary fire erupting behind him because who does this random girl think she is your future gf tobio but sshhh

and really the only defense mechanism Kags knows for screaming is evEN MOrE scREaMInG

“how the hell do I know this is even your ball, dumbass?!

*crosses arms over chest* “well, is it yours?”

that question catches Kageyama off guard and he suddenly becomes a whole lot more nervous because you don't seem to be angry anymore, actually you're really chill standing there with your eyebrows raised at him and oh god what does he do now???

“uhm... no?”

yeah tobio, real smooth, you totally got this under control

“wooww, you’re killing it, sherlock. since you're such a genius, solve this: only the two of us here! to who else could that stupid ball belong to?''

“okay, okay, fine!”

Kags' ears are totally red from embarrassment, his lips angrily jutting out as he stalks toward the train tracks, gripping that damned ball between his fingers and praying to every god out there that his hair concealed most of his face

it didn’t, and Kageyama knows immediately from your amused grin that you're enjoying his suffering and now he's feeling even more awkward and salty

his usual comfort is volleyball ofc, so instead of acting like a normal person and throwing it back, he tosses the ball perfectly into your waiting hands almost on instinct

and you're just standing on the platform edge with your ball now in hand, gaping at this actually pretty handsome guy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), because damn, you may have screamed his head off seconds ago, but that was a scarily accurate toss

Kageyama would rather die than admit it, but he felt a sting of pride hAH, fricking take that annoying girl as he watched your amazed expression, taking note of how you were also wearing a post-practice sweatsuit, your hair an absolutely mess but looking good anyway and wait what oh shit why are you smiling was he staring for too long shit shit abort-

“gotta hand it to you, that was a great a toss! how long have you been playing?”

Kageyama's just so confused like how do females work istg you were ready to murder him and now you're being all friendly and cute and asking him questions about v o l l e y b a l l is this real?? have the angels answered his prayers??¿?

he somehow manages to reply without embarrassing himself any further, and even though it's just short answers and questions, you're actually having a conversation

at this point you're both just rolling with it cause this whole situation is surreal enough as it is

Kags' natural trademark scowl is ever present but inside he's kinda grinning because wow he's talking to a girl and it's not super awkward because it's about something he loves doing if only the team could see him now

“for almost 8 years now. this is my first year in a high school team.”

“hey, mine too! but i've only been playing for 3 years total. man, you must be pretty good then, huh?”

“yeah, i guess.”

you almost let out a little 'aaawwww' because this guy just scratched his neck shyly, his ears turning kinda red at your compliment and the sight way beyond adorable

“let me guess, you're a setter?”

“yeah, it's the best position.”

“hah, you whish.”

“it is the best... what- um, what position do you play?”

you cannot even begin to fathom the colossal amount of effort and bravery kageyama had to collect just to utter that one question. he was starting to understand the troubles of tanaka and noya; talking to girls was hard as fuck

“oh, well, how do i explain this? there are no fixed positions in beach volleyball.”

i’m terrible sorry kageyama.exe has stopped working

“what do you mean there are no positions??”

“exactly that. no positions.”

“but how? and.. and why??”

“hey, chill out, dude, there are only two people on a team, we kinda have to do everything.”

“...what kind of stupid volleyball is this??”

“hEY you takE THaT bACK!”

aaaand you're arguing again; Kageyama absolutely outraged that his precious setter position is non-existent on a court full of sand while you loyally defend your sport because beach volleyball is better in any kind of aspect anyway

“the two of us have to have the skill set of eight people on your court, so excuse me if we're better than you.”

“eight people?! there are six players in normal volleyball, dumbass!”

“whatever! like i would vonultarily waste my time trying to remember the rules of something so basic!

“oh, i’m sorry, basic? basic?! have you ever attempted to—just once—sync together with five totally different people?? i don’t fucking think so, so get outta here with your ‘we’re better than you’s!”

you would forever take this to the grave with you, but in the instant after that last jab, your treacherous tounge always ready with a witty insult has failed to back you up and you had nothing to throw at this jerks head. but were you going down without a fight?? fuck no

“well, i, uh... setters suck!”

“you suck!”

“spiking is cooler, anyway!”

*very offended gasp* “you did not just say that!”

fired up and fumming, Kageyama just goes off on this insane rant about how you're exactly like this one annoying guy he knows, and he's super serious and angry the whole time, gesturing with wild hand movements as he paces up and down, and it's so funny you can't find yourself to be offended so you just burst out laughing

irk marks explode on Kags’ head and he almost blows up again because this is of upmost importance, but then he sees your toothy grin, your eyes crinckling in amusement as your natural laughter fills the space and echoes of the station walls and oh no, Tobio, your ears are turning red again

you quiet down after a while and flash a smile at Kags who just stiffens because goddamnit that's attractive and you just go “you're insufferable, you know that?”

LOOK WHO THE FUCK IS TALKING PLS in that moment Kageyama is completely done with girls forever until you decide to open your mouth again and change his opinion in 0.034 seconds

“but, you're pretty cool, and you play volleyball, so i can't really stay mad at you. so with that said, wanna pass the ball around until our trains come to celebrate our truce?”

Kags gives you a tiny, microscopic smile and says “sure” all nonchalant and breezy but inside he is s h o o k. he is the equivalent of asdfghjkltiwnz because you find him pretty cool?!?! okay, he can certainly roll with that

so you pass the ball back and forth from different sides of the train station, taking care to be extra accurate with your aim so the ball won't drop into the deep gap between you two

this goes on for a while until it's Kageyama's turn to pass the ball back to you, but suddenly the loudspeakers come to life, screeching an announcement nobody cares about, and it startles our dear Tobio, making him give you a longer pass then he intended to

you move to reach the ball but you come short, and when your hands connect with the ball, it drops straight into the large gap where the trains move. the absolute worst place it could’ve have chosen to land honestly

man your ball sure is being a sneaky little shit today

Kags is just basically the embodiment of “oh shit”, feeling stupid for messing up, but it's kinda your fault too, because he wouldn't have been distracted if it weren't for that goddamn loudspeaker and the cute face you were making while concentrating buT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW

your frustrated expression just makes him feel worse and both of you are thinking the unspoken question of how the hell are you going to get the ball back from there

“sorry. the pass was too long.”

“nah, it's fine. i should've been able to get that.”

and suddenly you're dropping your gym bag to the floor and walking to the platform edge to straight up hop down to the train tracks and Kageyama is internally losing his shit because what the actual fuck do you think you're doing

he has to inch closer to the platform to even see you cause the gap is so deep it swallowed your entire figure

“oi, dumbass, what the hell are you doing?”

“paying dora the explorer, what do you think? this is my only ball; i'm not going to just let it be squashed.”

“well, hurry up.”

“would you relax? i'm fine. besides, the train isn't going to be here anytime soon--”

*hhoooooonnnnkkkkk*

turns out you should have listened to that announcement because it said that the train will be arriving early and oh would you look at that it's here

you're frozen on the spot, terrified, staring at the two bright headlights that are approaching way too fast for your comfort

then Kageyama's shouting and cursing and it suddenly clicks that you will die if you don't start moving now

you throw the ball out of the gap, scrambling towards the side to climb out but the pavement looks far more out of reach then you'd imagined

you try jumping to get ahold of the edge so you could pull yourself up, but it's no use, and you begin to panic, desperately clawing at concrete because the train is not slowing down

then Kageyama's face pops up from above, the same panic shining in his eyes as he reaches down to you as far as he possibly can and he's screaming at you to jump and grab his hand

you hear another honk and feel the ground shaking underneath you as the train rapidly approaches, and with one last strain of energy you jump as high as you can, grabbing onto Kageyama's hands as they lock around yours in a death grip

you're being pulled up, up, up; your legs climbing the sides, and with a final yank you land on top of Kageyama, the train zooming past you seconds later without even bothering to stop

your breathing is heavy as you hold onto Kageyama tightly, his strong arms still around you, both of you being too shocked to care about the compromising position you're both in as the train clears out

you manage to roll off Kageyama several minutes later, laying beside him as you try to calm down and think of cute kittens and puppies because holy shit you just almost died

it's quiet for a while, both of you strictly looking at the ceiling as you try to figure out what to say to the other after a disaster like that, but before you could think it through your running mouth just comes and ruins it

“i’m like 80% sure that train was supposed to take me home.”

“... what. the. fu-”

Kageyama is visibly shaking (from rage, you persume), his face furious as he's wildly pointing at you, shouting and rambling so fast you can only make out the words idiot and dumbass, which are what most of his speech consists of anyway

you can't get him to stop, so you hug him, making him immediately shut up and go rigid as he stares dumbfounded in front of him until you pull away

your knees are almost touching while you two sit on the floor face to face, but neither of you could bring yourself to care too much about the sudden closeness. a lot of shit has happened tonight

you can't help but laugh then, if only to break the tention, but it's clearly strained, and Kageyama sucks in breath to calm himself because one more of your aggravating, doesn’t-make-any-sense-at-all reactions and he’s going strangle you—

“i'm sorry, you're right. i shouldn't have done that. i am a dumbass.”

well fuck he wasn’t expecting that

it’s clear you were still shaken up, but kageyama never had the words to comfort someone, so like any other time, he went with the first thing that came to his mind

“well... yeah.” so fucking smooth tobio i cant even

it got a giggle out of you, so it wasn’t a complete disaster, but soon you became serious again, your piercing eyes never leaving Kageyama's as he stared back, unable to look away

“you saved my life back there, so, like, thanks a bunch.”

Kags just nods, stretching out his hand and introducing himself, you doing the same as the tense atmosphere slowly evaporates

“so, uh.. you up for more tosses, Kageyama?”

utterly lame joke, Kags is not amused whatsoever and flat out says no to that question for probably the first time ever which is a huge deal, you should've recorded it feeling that today was filled with more than enough practice

instead you two opted to go find your ball, again, passing the time with small conversations and comfortable silences, Kageyama waiting with you for your train to arrive, even though it meant he had to miss another one of his

and when you waved goodbye to each other, Kageyama had another tiny, microscopic smile on his face

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu!! #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio headcanons #kageyama x reader #karasuno x reader #karasuno headcanons #kageyama imagines #kageyama tobio imagines #tobio x reader #kageyama reader insert #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu oneshot #kageyama tobio oneshot #kageyama oneshot #karasuno imagines

[adambstingus]

13 People Tell Their Most Hilarious ‘I Didn’t Expect To Have Sex Today’ Story

1. Her best friend had just died.

Her best friend had just died and we went to the showing. Sitting in her car afterwards, I was trying to console her while she was crying. I reached across and hugged her then realized she hadn’t hugged me back but had actually slipped her hand into my pants while still crying. Weirdest boner I’ve ever had.

2. Healthy expression we are still alive?

My first sexual experience was when a friend went down on me when I drove him home from a wake. Mutual friend had died in a pretty bad car accident, foggy morning, pulled out in front of an 18 wheeler she couldn’t see.

I brought it up with a therapist in college and he said it was a healthy expression that we were both still alive. Thinking of it that way, not too weird.

3. Study buddies

Asked girl in class if she wanted to study. I ate her out for a hour or so. She sucked my dick for 30 seconds. Got B on exam.

4. Wanna “walk the dog??”

A girl I knew but wasn’t real close friends with one day texted me asking if I wanted to go walk her dog with her.

I got there, was invited in, got a doobie pushed in my hands with a beer. Turns out she didn’t have a dog, we watched a movie, about halfway through she starts giving me a blowjob.

Best walk ever.

5. A very NOT boring night shift

Working the night shift in a hospital. The delivery room services was quiet and calm, so I decide to stroll around the hospital. Found a female intern, which I hang out with and have a smoke during boring night shifts.

As we’re smoking outside the hospital, we started making out. She mention that the classrooms on the top floor are, sometimes, open and are private. We go to the top floor. One empty classroom is open. We bang on the floor. Wasn’t expecting to bang that night.

The floor was cold and hard, my knees hurts after being done, we didn’t get enough sleep cause we were fucking. Still, 10/10. Would have hospital sex again.

6. Old flame magically appears

It was a random Saturday in the summertime, around 1-2 am, and I was home alone just enjoying a night in when from out of nowhere someone’s ringing my doorbell.

I freak out before realizing that it’s an old fuck buddy who I hadn’t seen in a few months, completely trashed off his ass. he said he was driving through my neighborhood and really needed to pee, and my house was the closest place he could think of.

I took his keys, let him do the needful, and afterwards suggested that he hang out with me in my bedroom watching tv until he sobered up (not a ploy, my bedroom was the only room in my house with decent AC at the time)

we watched Netflix, we talked, and eventually we passed out in bed together. I woke up a few hours later to him going down on me, which escalated pretty quickly into fucking. we went back to sleep and fucked again in the morning.

afterwards, we showered together, had breakfast, and that was the last time I ever saw him.

7. “Shut up and just fuck me”

I had a girl over and we started talking about making blanket forts as kids, so naturally, I grabbed a bunch of blankets and pillows and we made one! I went and got some flashlights and turned off the lights, then next thing I know we start making out, clothes start coming off, I asked, “Is this actually happening?” and she replied, “Shut up and just fuck me.”

8. “It’s not like we are going to have sex”

Went on a first date with this girl in college. She lived in the nice housing complex on campus and it was the Friday before spring break. All her roommates had gone home already for the vacation. We were sitting on the couch having a semi-deep conversation after we got back. She excused herself to go change into her PJ’s. She invited me into her room and joked when she saw me take her desk chair while she was in bed: “it’s fine you can sit on my bed, it’s not like we’re gonna have sex”.

Literally like 3 minutes later, we started having sex.

That was the only time I’ve ever had a FWB/fling situation, lasted about a month, but god dammit it was the highlight of my life.

9. The power of a good suit

I gave a presentation in one of my classes and after the day just went back to my place. My GF had never seen me in a suit before, so when she came in she just said “you’re going to fuck me, damn it!” I never realized the power of a good suit until then.

10. Best work shift ever

I was working as a server at a restaurant and we had a beautiful new hostess start working there recently. We both happened to be closing one night when I told her that she looks how I would describe the perfect woman. One of the hostess closing duties is doing the mirrors in the bathroom. I walked into the mens room as she was cleaning them. I turn to walk back out and she tell me not to. It was a blur before both our pants were down and I was inside her.

I came to work expecting tips but I didn’t expect to be giving anyone mine.

11. Fucked in the office before coffee (basically)

I was an adult entertainer for a couple of years. Having sex with the patrons was obviously illegal but as you can imagine it happened. The one time it surprised me is I was first in for an early spot. It was 4:30 and a pretty girl walked in, and sat in a dark corner near one of the smaller satellite bars. I just had gotten dressed hadn’t even been on stage yet and the DJ had probably played one or two songs since we opened. I was sober (rare when dancing and hadn’t taken any G which was my go to drug of choice.)

She ushered me over and asked for a table dance. Fine. I begin moving and she immediately spreads her legs on the bar stool and she has a shaved and pierced pussy. I go rock hard, but keep dancing. She then tells me she is also a dancer and has a 6:00 shift at the Pink Pony.

“Was on my way to work and got horny…” So before you could say hump and grind I was in her… We quickly finished up, thankfully no waitresses were on the floor, doormen were elsewhere getting ready for the night and my manager was probably doing lines in the office. We cleaned up, she tipped me well and she was gone. All in the space of 10 minutes. It was like getting fucked in the office before your first coffee.

12. Car sex with new friend

My buddy asked me to hang out and meet his friend Sabrina. We were hanging out driving around when Sabrina starts getting frisky with me. We were going down the 91 freeway with music blaring and this girl I met about an hour ago riding the shit out of me in the backseat. Great day, Noah your the best wingman.

13. I fucked a married woman on her husband’s cousin’s car

Probably the time I went to a beach party at my friend’s place, as the only single guy. Her friend’s wife was excessively hot to me, and was in a bikini top, which was difficult for me because I don’t wanna be ogling some married woman. I’m looking for a place to sit and she offers me a spot on the towel next to her, I act like I don’t notice because I don’t wanna end up making moves, but my completely oblivious friend is like “Dude she’s making a spot for you right there.”

So I sit down and we start talking, she is very very obviously interested in me and within ten minutes I excuse myself to go back to the cars parked a ways away to “check my phone”, she says she has to use the bathroom, few minutes later I’m nailing her doggystyle on the hood of her husband’s cousin’s car, about 500 yards from the party.

I thought I was the shittiest person in the world for a few minutes after, until I figured out that she and her husband were into that and he completely knew what we were doing.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/22/13-people-tell-their-most-hilarious-i-didnt-expect-to-have-sex-today-story/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/166659887342

[fuckeduphighschooldropout-blog]

So this is the way our story end

First off scratch you were wrong about everything you never really knew me at all you thought you did in fact you thought you did so much that you even tricked me into believing you did as well but the reality is that you never did in fact if you really did I think everything would be much different at least between us see I'm not who you believed me to be I'm not someone who's gonna bow down to you and let you run the show as much as you'd like me to I'm gonna fight and destroy anything and everything that try's to control me including you as you have come to see I don't care for anyone not because I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to do but because I only listen to one person and that me not you not my friends not even the law or society can tell me what to do cuz I don't care and yeah some would say that's crazy talk but it's not it's what people should be thinking they should think for themselves not what we been told to think why do you think you're never gonna be happy you alway been told that all men must treat there girls as princess and queens but the reality is that it should be a equal status are you feminists say women should be treated equal well we can't do that if you expect us to be puppy dogs to you and follow everything you tell us will make you happy I wonder if you even really know what you did you do realize that you kept me away from my fiends and myself while we were together you tried to make me believe that they weren't actually my friend that they didn't care for me but that's not true in fact it was you who didn't care at lest not the way should have cared all you wanted was someone like Jordan someone who would follow you anywhere you went and did everything you're way just so you wouldn't get "hurt" or "upset" that's why he left cuz you drove him insane you kept him from his friends from him being able to be himself and try new things to step out of his comfort zone and now that he did he realized that you were the problem not him and decided that he was better off with out you just like everyone else you have dated but not me cuz you won't find anyone else like me I can promise you that cuz I'm really the only person who's actually taken a hard straight look at you and has seen you for everything you are and that's someone who's afraid of everything cuz that's how you were brought up to be like your parents sheltered you away from everything friends people new experiences different types of thinking all of this was kept away from you so you wouldn't be able to make a decision for your self even now everything you have done is be cause you were told too you were told to be afraid of drugs afraid of sex and afraid of being yourself see if you had only been able to experience all the things that were kept away from you earlier on maybe you wouldn't be so messed up now maybe you would act be able to have a god relationship with someone for once instead of driving literally everyone away from you cuz that's what you do you let people in then you push them far away when you realize they actually might find out who you are really not this innocent little girl who's been hurt by other in the past your really just someone who's caused themselves all the pain that's happened to them see if you only just let people help you or even just let them give you some kind of advice instead of assuming they are just trying to tell you what to do and coming up with excuses that they remind you of your father cuz really that all made up in your head see what I'm trying to get at is that for everything I did to you in the last two months of living together nothing I said or did wasn't with out reason yes I could have done it in a much better and more respectful way but it didn't happen that way see you pushed everyone away from the start dave me Cory jordan Tyler see all of us just wanted one thing to be with you regardless of who you were we all saw who you were and weren't afraid of it we didn't accept the nice girl act we didn't make excuses for you we tried to challenge you to do better to try something different but you fought us all every step of the way and little by little we stoped trying cuz it wasn't worth it anymore cuz yes we're all willing to go that far but not so far to the point where we have nothing left like I did see unlike them i never gave up i never stoped pushing you and challenging you to try something different to break you out of you stupid thoughts see every time we fought wasn't cuz the issues were something really important or something that was a huge deal it was cuz you made it that way even the smallest thing like how I made your Mac and cheese you made into an issue that was completely unnecessary and that's why we need up braking up not cuz I lied not cuz you cheated and not cuz we didn't work well together but cuz everything that happened that you didn't like or didn't approve of you made a big problem out of nothing see I would have never lied to you if I knew that you would over react or start a huge problem which is why I never told you I was still smoking or drinking or with dave or even that I saw liz cuz I knew if I even said one word you'd make a huge deal about it like remember when I told you the truth about us trying to get you to either smoke or at least deal with people who smoked pot you made it sound like we were gonna force you to do it but real like I said before it was just another attempt at trying to get you to see things differently to get out of your comfort zone and to Esperance something different but like alway it blew up to be something much more you made a huge deal about it and because of it you stoped being friend with dave billy Tyler and almost me too right after we'd just gotten together but that's what happens when you're told the truth cuz if it's something you don't like or wanna hear you make it a problem cuz you can't handle the truth even now you hid from it you act like I don't exist anymore like I'd just been a figure of your imagination but I'm not in real Inc act I'm more real then you will ever be cuz I'm better then you cuz I know who I am because I know where I'm going and how I'm gonna get there with or with help and no matter what nothing's gonna stop me from achieving that on the other hand you hide from everything and everyone pretending to be all innocent and kind but you're not your messed up right now you need serous help you're thinking is only gonna keep you from being happy see I'm really the only person who cared for you enough to stay by you and even when you pushed me away broke me down to nothing kept me away from my fiends and stoped me from being myself I stayed and never gave up on you cuz I saw past everything past the mask past the lies past the need to control everything to see who you really could be the person I met and saw the day I laid eyes on you yes at one point even I was blinded by your bullshit but once I came too I still stayed and in fact once dave told me that ever since I started dating you I became more and more unhappy and more and more unlike myself but I could never explain to him why I did what I did to be with you cuz he'd never understand he wouldn't get why someone who's been thought literally hell and back multiple times in such a short time would put themselves through the shit that i did for you see as much as I was told I'm crazy or that I wasn't who used to be cuz of you I still stayed cuz I knew if I kept trying harder and harder maybe just maybe I'd find away to brake though to you but I was wrong I was wrong to think that all the attention and everything I did would make you happy I did literally everything you ever asked of me every day and night I'd think to my self why do I do this why am I still here putting up with her shit why do I care for someone who's obviously not gonna listen still even now I don't know why I did that why I didn't just get the fuck out of there and say see ya and leave you 6 feet under but maybe I should have maybe I was right to say who know all I know is that I'm better for it see you don't know what it's like to be loyal to be truly honest with yourself and other you don't know what it's like to be broken over and over and over to go to hell and back almost everyday from 5 years old to now even now I'm still fighting hell its self but that's something you will never get cuz you can't be loyal you can't be honest with yourself or others see as soon as you feel threatened or that someone might not like you or something litter anything you lock up and shut down everything you push everyone away you cause so much shit for everyone else that they leave and then you say oh poor me everyone hates me and doesn't like me and hurts me when the reality is none of that happens it's all made up to make you look like the victim when you're the problem and alway will be and see I saw what happened to you and your last bf the one you left me for the one you said was perfect the one who made you happy and you loved more then anything yeah well that didn't last long now didn't it what it took him what 2 maybe 3 months to be like well she's bat shit crazy i was better if with my ex then her and what did he do exactly that he got the fuck out of there and went right back to his ex same with Cory he's with Rachel see you didn't care if he was with you or not you just didn't like Rachel cuz he was giving her attention and not you that's why you could be with him not cuz he smoked or that you would ruin your friendship cuz that would have happened to obviously cuz look at us and every other bf you had or gf do you talk to them fuck no you don't even if they try to talk to you you just ignore them cuz you can't be bothered see I still watch your blog and now I can tell you been alone since that last guy cuz if you really were in a relationship you'd be posting all about him but not once have I see anything about "him" so you're just a liar but that's expected of you now but who would have guessed you'd go that far and actually make us believe you were with someone I think is cuz you can't stand the fact your more alone then even I am at lest I have true friend unlike you who has no one not even one real true friend see once cole goes back to collage who's left Cory's gone I'm gone Tyler jordan you might have Sam if that even counts cuz she doesn't care but not like you'd ever see that Brandon maybe probably not he gave up on you a while ago that's why you sent him nudes so he'd be interested in you again see everyone you knew is gone and why is that cuz you pushed them away makes sense now why you work all the time it's cuz if you didn't you'd have to face the fact your alone and it's all you're fault nobody else's but you and that's sad even to me but that what you get for the shit you pull see if you act like a little bitch you get the life of one too so there that's how everything end for us see it wasn't cuz of me it wasn't cuz of dave or anything else in the end it was cuz you're a fake and you caused it all to fall and even what I did won't compare to everything you do to yourself and I'm sorry you're this way I tried to stay I tried to help you but you just didn't want any of it so I hope you're happy with yourself cuz this is exactly what you wanted right you or have you finally realized what you did probably not but I hope one day I get to see you again and I hope you will realize it and finally I'll be able to hear the truth from you but until then rot in hell you cunt i hope you totally destroy your car due to you're own stupid driving cuz really I have never seen a worse driver then you you don't deserve to even call yourself punk rock you nothing but a face lying little girl who's all alone and only you're to blame for it have fun by yourself you cunt P.S. My only regret is that I can't tell you this in person and watch you fall apart because of it

#this is the way our story ends #I hoe your happy with yourself #you caused this #only you're to blame for this #not my punk rock girl