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fandomsandfeminism · 1 year

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Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

#this is the grandmother who passed away unexpectedly earlier this month #she was so cool yall #and so weird #they got married twice by the way once when Massachusetts legalized it and once when New Mexico did #they hiked the grand canyon together #they had a european river cruise planned for this fall #she was 89 and she wanted to see the whole world with her wife #and they were working on it #literally i thought they were roommates #and there was only one bed

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jenmdixon · 10 months

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This is what it is like to hear an African Grey parrot dream while they’re taking a nap. Our Lucy has been doing this her entire life and it’s adorable. (She’s 22 and a true empress of our household.)

#african grey #parrot life #dreaming birdie #love this bird

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pangolin-404 · 11 months

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officially finished yellowjackets s2 I'm hrghrgnrghrnggnng <- rabid

#thoughts #yellowjackets #yellowjackets posting #blind ranting in tags #MISTYYYY MY FAVORITE MISTTYYYYYY #her dynamic w walter makes me hysterical they're both awful people they're perfect for each other. she's more unhinged though #also MISTY. MISTY YOUR FUCKING BIRD. YOU CAN'T SKIP OFF TO A CULT WITH AN AFRICAN GREY IN THAT SMALLASS CAGE. MISTY CALIGULA WILL STARVE #WHY DO YOU EVEN OWN THAT THAT'S UNETHICAL. AT LEAST TRY MAN COME ON #GOOOOODDDDD GOD GOD THIS SHOW.. IT'S VERY GOOD...#nat............ :( god though. her entire life her entire story. nat #I have not said a word abt shauna in all my ranting but ooh shauna.. she's. second favorite character. and callie.. they're both trying #both trying to love each other and work things out when neither of them will communicate properly. and jeff too I guess #I really love callie. she's trying to hold herself together and love + trust her family when she's surrounded by nonstop lying and #secrets that scare her and only make things more confusing #taissa.. HOOKED on her story.. v worried about her family. the new puppy better be taken care of #a part of me refuses to believe anything truly supernatural is happening; they Are a bunch of traumatized people #but then the symbols are unexplained; how they were already there; who put them there; etc; 'it' as a physical presence. a house even #and even lottie twists 'its' meanings to fit the situation; first it chose nat-- then it chose javi.#javi. javi. aghhghh. the shots can be so dark sometimes I can't make out the environment he hit out in #and now coach is there..! very worried about how he hasn't shown up present-day so I think he's going to die. he might freeze out there #gonna be honest I thought he was going to end things when he was lost in his own fantasies of a better life. I thought he would've #fled into that headspace and never come out #that mystery of the dripping in the cabin left unsolved. could've been a leak? something that could've aided the fire?

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uglyandtraveling · 1 year

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damekestre · 1 year

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Life with a bird.

#african grey #bird life #today was not one of his good days #but i love him anyway #birblr

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crazycatsiren · 1 year

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Here's the thing, folks.

I've personally discussed this with the black people in my life, and not all of them are magic workers.

And they've told me how they feel about this whole white magic versus black magic thing, which is that the concept is racist, colorist, and antiblack.

As a woman of color, I agree with them, because I've seen with my own eyes, how the terms white magic and black magic have been used, in media, in real life, and in online spiritual spaces.

It's a fact that no small number of white people (white Christians as well as other white spiritual circles) have long treated African diasporic practices such as Voodoo, Hoodoo, Santería, etc. as dark and evil, and therefore called them black (bad) magic. And to portray themselves as the opposite, white witches among the modern witchcraft movements would literally call themselves "white witches" who practice white (good) magic, almost as a means of counteracting the "black magic", aka the bad magic of those people of color.

It's white supremacy, plain and simple. Just stop with the white/black/grey magic baloney. It's costs nothing.

#witches of color #witchblr #witch community #witchcraft #magic #witches of tumblr #witches of the world

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grits-galraisedinthesouth · 3 months

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Gatecrashers

Help. I bet you smart sleuthers have already covered this topic somewhere around our Tumblr neighborhood, but per usual I'm late to the party. Will someone please help me better understand Sparry's so-called "visit" with the King because the photographs and timing just don't add up. Connecting the dots seems to reveal 2 rebellious overseas unroyals who were determined to show up at Clarence House with or without permission.

On Tuesday, I felt annoyed to see the Royal Family YouTube channel (unaffiliated w/the BRF) patched into a live stream outside of Buckingham Palace. I thought it was a ridiculous invasion of privacy. Now I understand that the King was previously scheduled to arrive at BP (late morning) and the media was waiting to capture the first photo of king Charles post -treatment.

It seems Charles & Camilla were on a tight schedule which could explain the early morning (or overnight) visit with Beatrice & Edo.

The British media obviously knew that Charles was expected at BP and yet they disregarded this important bit of information to focus on Sparry's PR talking points---- all the while these manipulative talking heads knew the King had a prior engagement in his diary.

Pressure Pressure Pressure is what The Meghans wickedly tried to apply to Charles & William. There was even a mention of an EMPTY Frogmore Cottage. How low can these 2 go?🤬

Perhaps Mr and Mrs Sparry informed the men in grey of their plans to gatecrash the king & queen's departure. "Coming with or without permission." This would also explain why they flooded the media with Sparry's intention to see his father "within the next 2 days" followed by that crystal clear photograph at LAX. Someone around our Tumblr community or perhaps on reddit shared a catchy manifesting term...I'm sorry I didn't write it down bc it perfectly describes how The Meghans use her sharp elbows to bully their way through life.

All of this MANIFESTING crap to manipulate a face to face meeting with Charles: a man reeling from a life threatening diagnosis, recovering from an invasive procedure, and preparing for some sort of systemic poison.

Have I mentioned that The Meghans SUCK at compassion!!!

Beatrice & Edo

Doesn't it seem likely that family members have been welcomed to Clarence House (post-diagnosis) to wish Charles well before his Sandringham retreat-----perhaps the beginning of holistic treatments or simply to recover from the 1st of several adjuvant treatments.

The couple seems dressed for an early morning visit with a family member, NOT an audience with the King of England.

vs.

Sparry

Perhaps Sparry told the Palace "Me too! I'm coming to see my father too" and he was told "not this week," and MEgain responded "we'll see about that!"

I seem to remember Sparry had to be forced (by the Queen Elizabeth) to speak to his father and that meeting ended with shouting.

I also seem to remember Sparry had no time to give his family before or after His father's coronation.

As a courtesy, the men in grey delayed KC's departure & granted Sparry an audience with His Majesty the King, not a visit/block of time for a father-son brunch or lunch.

Sparry wearing all black upon his entrance to Clarence House but upon departure he's photographed wearing black and white, with a tie. Why didn't Sparry change clothes on the airplane?

This publicity stunt was meant to bury the African Parks story and the story about the (mon)ARCHewell revolving door. The Meghans have proven to the family (yet again) that there is no bottom to their depravity.

It was also a test for His Majesty's government as they push for IPP status, a campaign for royal housing, and of course information gathering for blackmail.

Let's do the math:

An audience with a sovereign (or even a President) is only about 5-10 minutes plus or minus time for photographs.

Sparry arrived at Clarence House by 2:45pm. Charles & Camilla were in a vehicle by 3:30pm. Sparry (if the photo is current) changed into business attire while at Clarence House. How long was Sparry in the same room as Charles?

Have I mentioned that MEgain and Sparry are SCUM and so are the British talking heads who served as their mouthpieces!?!?!

#megxit #spare us #God save the king #Get well king Charles #worldwide privacy tour #Clarence House #Manifesting Chaos #crazy train #crazy makers #revenge

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supernatural-dreamer · 9 months

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The Unnatural and Unexpected (Embry Call x Black!Reader) Pt. 2

A/N: Hey everyone! It’s almost twilight season and as a commitment to myself and to you, I will (attempt) to post every Sunday from now until Halloween! You’ve all responded and I have decided to turn this into a multiple part series! I’m playing a little loose with the blood singer/ mating vampire rules as a fun experiment.. Leave a comment AND follow if you’d like to be tagged going forward. As always like, comment and follow. Let me know what you think!

This is set during Eclipse around newborn battle. This is tailored for a African American/Black female reader specifically, however all are welcome to read..

~Lauren

*All gifs credited to original owner*

—

Pt. 1

Masterlist

—

Imagine being Embry’s imprint and tagging along with the wolves to their newborn training session. However, you’re always in for an unexpected surprise when you’re around Bella..

Never were you the adrenaline junkie type. If your two feet were not able to stay on the ground, you did not participate.

But damn. You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the experience, just a little.

Curse your newfound curiosity.

Or maybe, being in Jasper’s arms is what made it more enjoyable.

What the hell? You barely know this pale-ass dude.

It is when your hair stops moving that you start to tune back into your surroundings. Clinging to Jasper akin to a koala bear, eyes still shut, you meekly ask,

“Are we there yet?”

“I stopped moving a few minutes ago.” Crap.

Popping one eye open, you see the Cullen house directly in front of you. Looking up at him, you notice he is looking down at you, slightly smirking. Coughing, you signal him to put down. He does, gently and you stand in silence for a moment.

“You alright? I know reaching high speeds like that can affect humans pretty bad.” No shit sherlock.

“I’m fine. Thank you for the, um, ride.” You shuffle your feet while studying your now slightly-dirty shoes.

Then you suddenly remember the potentially dangerous situation you’re in-the anxiety slowly kicking back in. Jasper checks his surroundings, then gestures for you to move up the front porch steps.

“My pleasure. Let’s get you inside. After you.”

–

Jasper Whitlock was a pale, ex-confederate, undead, man of few words. He has seen mostly wars and death in his human and afterlife. Peace and normalcy was a foreign concept to him, until he ran into Carlisle. He never would have chosen this life for himself, but then again, he never knew his current life was even possible until was in it.

You, on the other hand, were the complete opposite of him.

From the day he saw you, he couldn’t get you out of his head. At first, it was pure curiosity. You were one of the few interesting humans he had met in his time that actually presented a mental challenge for him.

Although he couldn’t directly read minds like his brother, Jasper could easily deduce what people were thinking based on their feelings–enhanced by his empath abilities, no doubt. When it came to you, however, he could not sense a thing. If he could put a color to every emotion he sensed, yours would always be grey- neutral.

Educated guesses were always made on his part, but you still managed to catch him off guard and did something different. A literal wild card.

The day you were partnered with him on some random school project, he began to notice your intelligence and convictions. He was impressed at your ability to keep Bella’s dangerous moves in check while keeping your personal boundaries. It reminded him of some of the people in his past he had lost long ago. It was then, you had gained his respect.

Slowly, Bella started bringing you around their house more often. At the time, it was mostly a cover for him and his siblings to investigate newborn activity, especially after one broke into your house. When he was around, outside of class, Jasper kept his distance, mostly for your comfort level.

Then, he noticed Bella’s or any human’s scent did not affect him as much anymore when you were around. After a few times, he realized something peculiar: you were the only human that didn’t stir his bloodlust, either.

Miraculously, you actually had seemed to quell it.

It was when Alice and his family confronted him on the possibility of you being his blood singer, he considered that he might have felt something more than just friendly admiration for you. Carlisle let him know only blood singers have this much of an affect on vampires like this.

But Jasper wasn’t having any of it.

At first, he denied it, immensely. Although he was intrigued by you, you didn’t seem to have the exact same affect on him the way Bella did with Edward. He had and was more than content with Alice.

He especially didn’t think it was possible when he found out Embry had imprinted on you. He had abandoned the idea entirely. There’s no way a shifter, let alone their imprint, would have any involvement with the vampires. They were sworn enemies after all.

So, he did the only thing he could do- kept his distance. The last thing that needed to happen was the pot to be stirred at a time where their alliances were critical. Besides, you seemed happy with Embry. Unlike his brother’s situation, he didn’t want to turn your whole life upside-down for a silly school yard crush—

And that was that for him.

Until Alice told him for the first time that she saw you in his future the day they trained with the wolves. In what capacity, she didn’t know. What was certain was that you were going to be involved with the Cullen’s for the foreseeable future, whether anyone wanted or not. She also knew Jasper well enough to know that you meant something to him.

She didn’t have to be a clairvoyant to know that.

Regardless, you could not make any decisions until he actually told you. The women were right that it wasn’t fair of him to keep everything to himself, especially when that meant putting you in more danger. Blood singer or otherwise, he couldn’t subject anyone he cared about to that. Not on his watch.

It was at that moment, he realized he had feelings for you—though he hated to admit it.

As you sat in the massive kitchen, the silence became deafening. You could tell he was deep in thought about something and, at first, you thought it was from today’s events.

Until he looked at you the way he did today.

He was keeping something from you and you were determined to find out what it is.

Penny for your thoughts? You’ve been quiet the whole way over.” Breaking the silence, you take a sip from your glass of water.

“Well we were running over 70 miles an hour.” You had to keep from facepalming yourself.

“Are you hungry? We have some leftovers from the other day still in the fridge.” He starts to cross the kitchen. You were starving and those leftovers did sound good at the moment, but you were persistent.

“Yes, but you still didn’t answer my question.”

“Just still on guard and keeping an eye out for any newborns is all.” And the lie detector test determined that was BS.

He starts to open the containers when you stop him, placing your hand over his.

“Jasper what aren’t you telling me? If it’s something about the newborns, you could tell me. At this point, nothing you can tell me will shock me too much.” He sighs.

“Not even if I told you that you are my bloodsinger.” Cue the glass in your hand dropping to the floor.

You and your big ass mouth. You did the only thing you could do at a time like this:

Freak the hell out.

“Wait a damn minute. How can that be? You already have Alice!”

“Yes, but it’s possible for a vampire to have multiple blood singers in their time as we live well—forever. It’s sort of rare but it happens.” Smartass.

“Okay, let’s say I buy that. But I’m also a shifter’s imprint. How the hell can I also be a vampire’s bloodsinger? Isn’t that like impossible?”

“Honestly, I don’t really know. No one really does. Carlisle guesses that the imprint bond could have altered the usual signs of a singer. ”

“How come Alice didn’t see it sooner?”

“Maybe you being an imprint blocked her from seeing your future. Or you could have the same neutralizing affect on her abilities as you do mine. Who knows? What we do know is that she saw you in my future, and as complicated as it sounds, you affect me as Alice did before she was turned. Unfortunately, she’s never wrong.”

At this point, you’re pacing back and forth, trying so hard not to lose your shit completely.

“What am I going to do? What happens now?” What about Embry?

It would be just your damn luck as you are just starting to somewhat feel content about your bond with Embry, you now have a tie to not one-- but two creatures of the supernatural.

“Hey, hey, hey, he stops you, gently gripping your forearms and turning you around to face him. You didn’t even hear him come behind you. Damn vampire stealth.

“Let me stop you right there. This will be whatever you want it to be-or lack thereof. Although I can’t lie and say I don’t have feelings for you, I will not push or force anything. Just like anything else, we take it day by day. We will figure it out. I will be right beside you, only if you want me to be, (yn).” He pushes a coily strand behind your ear as you look up at him.

This time you actually get a good look at Jasper. His blonde hair was a bit messy, but framed his sculpted face perfectly. Against his porcelain skin, his eyes almost glowed. You noticed they were a little more gold than usual, most likely from his recent hunt.

Now by this point, two things were going through your head:

Good god. This man was fine.

You were in some deep shit.

A deep, guttural growl snaps you from your trance. Whipping your head around, you see the large, glass pane door, wide open and a familiar native boy standing in front of it. And he is livid.

–And the pile just got a whole lot deeper.

Tags:

@zoexme

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tiktokparrot · 3 days

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Protect your feathered friend from silent killers in your home! Learn how to safeguard your bird from toxic fumes and create a safe haven. Read now and breathe easy!

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starboltz · 2 months

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My thoughts of the new Minecraft wolf variants!

With the recent announcement of the new wolf variants, I wanted to give my two bits about what real life animal each of the variants are based on! (I study animal ecology so I get excited when animals are depicted in anywhere)

The Pale Wolf, Black Wolf, Snowy Wolf, Ashen Wolf, and Woods Wolf

All of these wolf variants are based on the Grey Wolf (Canis lupus), whether it be the typical Plains Wolf (Canis lupus nubilus), or a different subspecies. The Grey Wolf is the most common wolf species found on the world, typically lives in packs of 4-9 members, and typically has 5 accepted subspecies in the science community - but in total has over 30 subspecies (determining subspecies can be tricky).

The Pale Wolf is specifically meant to represent a Plains Wolf, as this design has been representing the Grey Wolf in Minecraft for at least 12 years. The Taiga biome is one of the biomes where Grey Wolves can be found, making it a great place to find Pale Wolves in Minecraft.

The Black Wolf is not a subspecies, but rather a color variant of the Gray Wolf. The black coloring of their coats is not typically caused by melanism, but rather is a normal gene found in Grey Wolves. One of the causes of wolves having a black coat is due to the black gene being linked to higher immunity to canine distemper, meaning the black wolves that survive the virus are able to reproduce and pass on their black genes. Does this mean distemper exists in Minecraft? Probably not, but that's up to your interpretation.

The Snowy Wolf is based on the Arctic Wolf (Canis lupus arctos). Artic wolves' white coats help them blend into the snow to help them hunt prey, and to hide them from potential predators.

The Ashen Wolf is likely based on the Eurasian Wolf (Canis lupus lupus). The Eurasian wolf can have similar coloring to the plains wolf, but has also been found with greyer coloring along its back, tail, and upper legs and face, and with white on its cheeks, underbelly and lower legs.

I think that the Woods Wolf is based on the Tibetan/Himalayan Wolf (Canis lupus chanco). It was a challenge to find what subspecies the woods wolf was based on because most wolves don't have the deep brown-orange coloring seen on the woods wolf, but the Tibetan/Himalayan wolf can often be seen with these colorings in the wild.

The Rusty Wolf

The Rusty Wolf is based on the Dhole (Cuon alpinus), also known as the Asiatic Wild Dog. Dholes have a rich tawny coat with a rich chocolatey tail. Unlike another popular red canine (the dingo), Dholes live in tropic forests, rainforests, and other habitats, making it an appropriate fit to be the jungle dwelling rusty wolf.

The Spotted Wolf

The Spotted Wolf is based on the African Wild Dog (Lycaon pictus), also known as the Painted Dog or the Cape Hunting Dog. This is variant is my favorite of the variants, and is one of my favorite canines of all time. African wild dogs live in savannah and grasslands biomes irl, and have beautiful coats ranging in different patterns of tawny, black, and white. I don't know if this is possible for Minecraft mechanics, but hopefully the spotted wolves will have different coat variants like their irl counterparts.

The Striped Wolf

The Striped Wolf is based on the Aardwolf (Proteles cristata), which is a species of hyena, making them felids instead of canids! (Yes, hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs). Aardwolves can be found in semi-arid and open plains, making the badlands a good place to find them in-game. Fun fact! Aardwolves mainly eat termites/ants. Hopefully the striped wolf won't starve in a "bugless" game (rip fireflies).

The Chestnut Wolf

This one frustrates me. I couldn't find a canine or canine adjacent animal that had even a similar coat pattern. This is not a wolf. It is a dog. Probably a Norwegian Elkhound.

#minecraft #minecraft wolf #minecraft wolves #wolf #wolves #grey wolf #dhole #african wild dog #aardwolf #norwegian elkhound #zoology #animal ecology

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eyesthecolorofarson · 11 months

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It’s a meme, Batman

Bruce never thought he would say this, but he regrets pushing Damian to make friends.

If he��d known all those years ago it would result in a media scandal that was practically a cosmic watergate, he would have kept Damian confined to the cave for the rest of his life. The worst part was that it was all harmless, just teenagers having fun on an improve show.

He’d gotten the link to the livestream through Oracle, who’d been laughing so hard he was worried she’d been injected with Joker venom. He got more worried when her laughter increased at the knowledge the whole family was in the cave. She insisted he play the livestream on the main computer, and like a fool, he’d trusted her and did just that.

It looked to be….the improve show Whose line is it, anyway? But the usual comedians, Ryan Stiles, Colin Morchie and Wayne Brady were sitting next to host Drew Carey and—Damian in his Robin uniform, Phantom, Superboy, Royal, Fireworks, and Wendigo. He heard the others laugh and ask the appropriate question ‘what the fuck is he doing??’ A question he himself was asking.

He took a step back to asses the situation; Royal, Dove Elopeman, was a metahuman born in Lapa, Rio Di Janiero who was apart of the new batch of superheroes. Royal had bronze skin a similar shade to Damian’s, with black wavy hair just below her shoulders and purple eyes. Royal was brought in fairly quickly after Martian Manhunter realized just how powerful her mind-control ability was, after he’d spent three months under her control, during which she found and took control of Khloé Kardashian and not only robbed her but blew up her house. She had a surprisingly pronounced figure for her age, 14, and used her body to get close to people and then take them down, usually incredibly violently. Royal showed no remorse for her incredible viciousness, due to her usual targets being sex traffickers and pedophiles.

Fireworks, Lydia Lippet, was a metahuman born in Perth, Scotland who has the odd ability to bring anything she draws to life. Fireworks was African with curly hair dyed baby blue styled in a side-parted bob, with metallic gold eyes. This ability was realized at a young age, but thankfully her parents didn’t use it for their own gain. Her parents raised her as if it was perfectly normal, and Fireworks did nothing too extreme with her powers until she was 13, when she brought a Pokémon into existence, the first time she brought something to life with her powers. This immediately made the Justice League aware of her existence, and once the JLD looked into her and went ballistic at the implications of what she was capable of, essentially forced them to bring her in as a new hero. Thankfully she was open to the idea, but unfortunately also expressed no remorse or sympathy for her actions.

Wendigo is the newest, and most unfortunate case. She had silver skin and was tall, about 6’9, and usually her hair was white but now for some reason it was hot pink. It was still incredibly long, almost touching her ankles, and her eyes were ultramarine blue. Research shows that before she was born the Native American tribe she was apart of went through a famine, in which many of her tribe resorted to cannibalism in order to survive. The reason her parents abandoned her deep in the Canadian forests is largely unknown, as is her parents location and names, but it is abundantly obvious they had committed cannibalism, which apparently caused a spirit of winter to latch onto her as a fetus and merge with her body and soul. That’s what the LJD concluded after a three-day long ‘study’ of her. This ‘study’ was concluded after Wendigo was rescued from Lexcorp, having mutilated and eaten over thirty of his men and injured Luthor himself. She didn’t speak, and only communicated with sounds and birdcalls, and, like the others, was violent without remorse.

Phantom was somehow the easiest to understand. He had light blue grey skin and pure white hair, as well as Lazarus green eyes, tongue, and blood. An Ohio resident, Danny Fenton was recruited after the Justice League investigated the Ghost Investigation Ward and the Anti-Ecto Acts, after it was found he was not only partially undead but also the only person capable of fighting against these world-ending threats without rascist-like judgement. Phantom was nervous about joining, mostly because of Deadman’s constant harassment about being ‘twinzies’ but agreed on the notion that his sister would get a full ride into any college she wanted. Phantom isn’t violent on purpose, but ends up being so due to him not knowing how to hold back.

Phantom was one stage with Damian, while the girls and Superboy were sitting with the host and other comedians. Everyone was laughing, and even Damian had a slight smirk on his face. Royal reached into the hat and pulled out a slip of paper, snorting and covering her mouth as she read the slip. “Batman….interrogating the Joker.” “Roll for an image!” Fireworks called, her accent thick as she pressed a button that caused the projector to roll through a variety of images before stopping on a very odd one that caused Tim to choke and Stephanie to begin roaring with laughter.

It was two over-sexualized wolf woman wearing skimpy clothes with different game logos with the words ‘Face it, you’d play with both of them’. Phantom leaned back and hovered in the air, laughing as Damian turned to fireworks with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t choose it, it’s just from the internet.” Fireworks drawled, taking a hit from her vape and blowing pink smoke out through her nose. Damian and Phantom stared at each other for a second before they both smirked, Phantom cracking his knuckles before leaning forward. At Drew Carey’s mark, the bit began.

Phantom and Damian stared at each other in silence for a second before Damian, in a perfect impression of Bruces voice, said “What is this.” Phantom, in the Jokers voice, replied “It’s a meme, Batman.” Immediately the crowd, and his children, were roaring with laughter. He could already feel the building dread. “I don’t understand.” Damian said in his voice. “What do you not understand?” Phantom replied in Jokers, somehow sounding tired of him at the same time.

“I don’t get the joke.” God, how was Damian making him sound exactly like him but also so pathetic at the same time? “Well, you see, people only usually play on one console.” Phantom held up a finger as he levitated in the air in a casual position, making the room(and his children)laugh again. He motioned to the picture. “But both these woman are so attractive, you’d wanna to play with both.” Phantom playfully stuck his tongue out at the end, to the humor of everyone.

“But they aren’t consouls.” Damian said in his voice. Phantom pulled out his phone and began pretending to text. The crowd and his kids laughed again. “The shirts their wearing have the consul logos on the—“ “What are you, some kind of furry?” Oh god how did he learn that? Another part of his brain knew that realistically it wasn’t that outlandish, but it felt like just yesterday he was eight and had brought home a cat he’d named after Alfred.

“You’re the one here wearing an animal costume.” Phantom still sounded judgmental, and for a second it was silent before Damian grabbed him and slammed his head into the wall. The crowd and his kids laughed again, and Drew Carey called scene. He looked back at his kids. Dick, Tim, Duke and Stephanie were sitting and roaring with laughter. Cass was kneeling down and trying to help Jason, who was curled into a ball on the ground and crying with laughter.

“I think the best part about this….” Drew started, but stopped to laugh again before continuing, “I think the best part about this is the implication that Batman knows enough about internet lingo to know what a furry is, but not enough to understand memes.” Damian nodded at him. “That is a true statement.” The crowd, and his kids, laughed again. He felt the dread grow at Phantoms motion for silence.

“I’ve had this one saved in my note app the day the interview was shared.” He grinned, before clearing his throat and speaking in Jokers voice. “You know, my father….”

Jason gasped and sat up, whispering in joyful disbelief, “oh my god.”

“…..was a gamer.”

Everyone began laughing so hard he almost couldn’t hear his brain imploding. Jason was choking on his tears, Colin Mochrie had his head on the table, Wendigo was looking around from her seat like a confused puppy. “….And a weeb.” Jason fell back and Cass was hovering, unsure if he was actually in pain or not. Dick dropped down to help, but he was also laughing so hard he was falling over.

“And one night….he got gassed up on his G-fuel CRAZIER than usual….” Fireworks began slamming her fist on the table, wheezing with excitement and leaning again Superboy, who was coughing on his laughter. “Mommy grabs the Wi-Fi to defend herself. He doesn’t like that….” He leans forward, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. “Not…..one……bit.”

“So….” Phantom almost broke character at Wayne Brady saying ‘I’m crying’ in a choked voice. “He takes out his phone and turns on his 4G.” Phantom was leaning forward so much Damian had to lean back. “He turns off the Wi-Fi on his PC and connects to his phone….” He leaned forward again, making Damian lean back even more. “….laughing while he does it.”

“My mother can’t stand the sight of him!” Jason and Dick were now laying next to each other, Cass making very worried hand motions. Stephanie was making calls and spreading the word of this live-stream. Duke looked dead. Tim was calling Conner to inform him of his little brothers whereabouts, also crying.

“She just wants to have dinner….TOGETHER….and not have him have KFC in his room anymore!” The crowd is roaring with laughter. Wendigo was chirping worryingly at Superboy, who was crying like Royal and Fireworks. Phantom watches the crowd laugh. “They eventually get a divorce.” This causes everyone to begin laughing again. Bruce felt like dying as his phone begins to ring, the caller ID telling him it was Barry Allen.

#danny phantom au #dp x dc au #original character #really spur of the moment thing #Also sorta helping me with character design #damian wayne #jon kent #danny fenton #danny phantom

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