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angelicyouth · 1 year

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Youth ; Chapter 1

⇢ pairing: kenny mccormick x marsh!reader x craig tucker

⇢ synopsis: ❝Growing up with the boys as the sole girl of the group, it was only natural for them to grow protective over their pseudo-little sister as the years went by.❞

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [next]

“....-N…. Y/N..? Helloooo? Y/N!”

I jolt when I hear someone calling my name through the music I’m listening to. I take off my headphones and let it hang around the back of my neck, answering without looking away from the computer screen in front of me.

“My bad, what?” I question disinterestedly as the music continues to play faintly below my ears. The clicking of my mouse can finally be heard since I threw my headphones on for full immersion a while back.

“The guys are coming over, throw on some pants.”

I take my eyes away from the RPG that I’m currently playing and when I notice that my brother is wearing nothing but boxers and a graphic tee, I lazily lift an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He mocks as siblings typically do when he notices my condescending gaze and I roll my eyes at him, saving the progress I’ve made on my game.

“Clyde got that new video game we were talking about last week.” He continues to say as he lifts his body up from his laidback stance against my door frame, typing something on his cellphone. Probably the guys telling him that they’re on their way.

I hum a simple hmm in answer to him as I get up from my chair and stretch the kinks in my body after spending the past few hours sitting down.

"Oh yeah, do you know whose burrito is in the fridge?” My brother distractedly asks as I take my time walking to my closet to look for some shorts to throw on.

Similar to my brother, my current attire is just an oversized band tee and my underwear. On me, however, it reaches my mid-thighs. Dwarfing my body, I wear these types of shirts often to sleep as a makeshift pajama dress, meaning I forgo any bottoms since no one but my family sees me like this. Because of this, my brother and I wear each other's shirts, which is often the cause of our mom’s headaches when we fight over clothes.

“You know it’s mine.” I quickly glare at him as I pull the article of clothing out from its designated shelf.

I do this carefully so that I don’t disrupt the other pajama bottoms its in between because Lord knows that if I fuck up this area in my closet, I’ll carelessly handle my other clothing until the whole closet becomes a rat's nest.

It’s already messed up here so it shouldn’t matter if I do the same to everything else. I’ll clean it soon anyways… Not.

“Yep, I know. I already ate it.” He laughs, a shit eating grin on his face as he slams my bedroom door shut. The sound of his feet quickly hitting the floor can also be heard as he runs to wherever the fuck he decided to hide.

“STAN, YOU DICK!” I yell, pulling up my shorts in anger.

I grumble and pout to myself while I do a quick check in the mirror to make sure I’m presentable. I was looking forward to reheating my leftovers after getting in a good amount of progress on my game.

Why the hell do siblings touch shit that isn’t theirs? Ugh. And the audacity he has to directly ask me about it when he already ate it. If he's still hungry, I'll just give him a knuckle sandwich.

I throw myself onto my bed to check my phone since I went MIA for the past couple of hours that I was preoccupied with the gaming world. The date catches my attention and I grimace when I notice that tomorrow would be the first day of sophomore year. It’s easy to lose track of summer when this shitty town is covered in snow all year round. Hearing the front door slam open and multiple muffled voices overlapping, I bring myself downstairs to the living room and spot Clyde putting a disc into the gaming console in front of the television.

“Sup?” I call out to no one in particular with multiple variations of hey being thrown back at me.

I jump over the back of the couch and settle myself in between Kenny and Tweek, with Tolkien sitting to the right of the coffee addict. Kenny automatically pulls my legs up to settle over his lap, resting a hand on my calf as he fiddles with his phone with the unoccupied one.

“How the hell do you guys not have any cheesy poofs? What kind of household is this? I’ve been busting my balls for years waiting for this game to come out and when the day finally arrives, I can’t even enjoy it with the best snack ever?? I’d expect this from broke ass Kinny but not the Marsh’s!” Cartman complains as he follows the ever aloof Craig over to where the rest of us are lounging, stomping his feet from the kitchen to the dining room in a normal Cartman-like tantrum.

“Shut up, fatass! Stans ordering pizza so stop complaining before we put a limit to your slices!” Kyle threatens from the kitchen while Kenny and I roll our eyes.

“You’re welcome to leave.” I sarcastically mumble with my eyes still trained on Clyde setting everything up. He always looks really cute when he's concentrating.

“Oh shut up Y/N, this is your poorass pantry I’m talking about.” Cartman shoots back as he dramatically plops down on a seat at the dining table, his head down on the tabletop and his arms stretched out on either side next to Butters. I flash my middle finger at his pathetic display and see that Craig is sending him one too so I snicker when the black haired boy and I make eye contact.

“Instead of bitching, here's a suggestion. Why don’t you make your fat self useful for once and get some at the store then? You can even take it back to your house and just stay there for the rest of the night.” I snark back despite the sickeningly sweet tone of voice I adorn.

“Aye!” Fatass sits up and yells back at me before Kyle walks into the room, rolling his eyes.

“Dude. You can lay off the snacks for one night, can’t you? Cause you know, I’m pretty sure you have enough fat stored in your body to last you without any type of food for a few months and you’d still be alive.”

“Shut up, Craig!”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Loud, but this is just a typical night in with the boys. The boys, meaning Team Stan, Team Craig, and of course, Butters. We all hang out together as one but like any other group, there are cliques within it. I guess they formed when we were younger and would play games that required opposing teams having to go against each other.

Having to split, these are the groups that always formed when we played stuff like catch or basketball, and why the guys in each respective teams are a bit closer to one another as opposed to the other team. They naturally formed because Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle live near each other whereas Craig, Tweek, Tolkien, Clyde, and Jimmy live closer to one another.

Of course, I’m usually in my brother's “team” and this works out for us because Butters typically likes to sit our games out and play moderator instead.

Speaking of. My brother, Stan, and I are actually twins. Because of this, our parents decided to separate us and have Stan and I go to different schools when we got into elementary. They wanted to encourage us to be independent individuals and to make our own friends, instead of being comfortable with sticking together after we went to preschool together. Yes, we met all the guys and became friends with them when I still attended the same place as my brother, but my parents were worried that I wasn’t spending enough time with other girls my age.

Even though I went to a separate elementary school and middle school than the others, I still grew up and spent all of my time with them when we were outside of school. Because of this, I’m still as close to everyone else as they are with each other.

This year, however, my parents finally decided that we were old enough to make the decision of whether or not my brother and I wanted to finally attend the same school. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity to go to school with my older brother and our friends. Well, okay. It was more like I insistently begged them and they finally caved in and gave me the green light to transfer.

Gathered around the television on either the floor or the couches and with pizza in our faces, Kyle silently curses as he checks his phone.

“My ma wants me home early since tomorrow is the first day of school.” He informs us, wincing when he remembers the start of a new school year.

“Ack! I completely forgot!” Tweek’s eyes widens and twitches as he clenches his shirt in first day jitters.

“Oh gee, me too! But that means we’ll finally be able to go to school with you, huh, little buddy?” Butters nudges me with his elbow and I smile into the can of soda I’m drinking from.

"Yessss! I can’t wait! I’ll finally be able to meet the other schoolkids at South Park!” I beam, throwing my arms around the blonde and hugging him in euphoria.

Growing up with the boys and being the only girl, everyone has naturally grown to be rather protective over me as they see me as their pseudo-little sister. This meant that they constantly whisked me away from others our age and would promptly pull me away if I ever did something as simple as wave to someone outside of the group. They called it taking me away from the lame-o’s, as Cartman constantly reminded me.

Of course, I knew the other people that my friends are cool with like Timmy, Scott Malkinson, and Dovahkiin. They tag along with us from time to time and it’s a refreshing change of pace when they do.

“I’m also excited about the commute! Finally, I get to catch some more sleep in the morning because mom or dad don’t have to drive me thirty minutes just to get to North Park!” Cue me dramatically fake sobbing into Butters shoulders as he consoles me by petting my hair.

“There, there, buddy. You won’t have to worry anymore!” I giggle as Craig pulls me away from the little cutie.

“Lameee, I already see your ugoo face enough. I don’t need to see it at school either.”

"Shut up, Cartman. How do you think we’ve felt seeing your fatass in and out of school for all of our lives? That’s a decade too much.” Kyle tiredly says.

“Aye!”

“Well, I’m excited to finally see my bestie at school!” Clyde throws his arms around my shoulders from behind me. We giggle to each other in excitement as I place my hands on his arms.

“I’m going to get so much second-hand embarrassment when I finally get to see you try to flirt with a girl, Clydey.”

“Y/N! You wound me! Did you forget that I’m the most handsomest, most charming, and most smoothest guy in school—no. In all of South Park!” Clyde boasts while I continue to laugh, consolingly patting his arms in pity for his delusions.

“Besides, I wouldn’t think to do that anymore now that I have my baby girl going to school with me!” He says as he puckers up his lips and exaggeratedly makes kissing sounds towards me.

I’m still laughing as I lightly block his face from me. Clyde is always so silly and more sensitive than the guys (ahem, a crybaby, ahem), making him my partner in crime in stupid antics like this.

“Dude.” Stan pinches the space between his eyes and furrows his brows at the obnoxious flirting. The boys and I play flirt all the time for fun, but mostly to annoy my brother.

“You’re like this now, Stan, but wait until tomorrow. In a small town like Shit Park, a new student will be the talk of the school.” Tolkien slyly smirks, trying to get into the ravenette’s overprotective head.

“Oh shit. Fuck, I forgot. You’re fresh meat.” My brother stares at me uncomfortably, his face going pale at the overwhelming thought.

“Leave him alone, guys… Besides, my princess will have her trusty knight by her side.” Kenny gloats.

When we were younger, there was a fantasy game we liked to play, involving a “Stick of Truth” that we fought for. Kenny chose to be a princess at that time to cheekily spend more time with me, another princess in the game. The pet name stuck and has been something he’s fondly called me from then on.

“More like mangy dog. You’re just going to drop her as soon as you see someone else with legs and a pulse, McWhoremick.” Craig deadpans, setting Kenny off as he clenches his jaw in anger.

“Anyways!” I cut them off before it escalates, “I’m most excited to see the poor girls you guys have dated!” I teasingly smirk.

“No. No, no! Respect my authoritah, Y/N! I'm seriously! Don’t come anywhere near those stupid skanks, nothing good ever comes out of girls!”

Cartman always gets defensive when his ex or any of the girls that the boys know gets brought up. Probably because the guys still clown him for the voicemail they got ahold of when we were kids, crying and threatening to commit suicide if she didn’t get back together with him. They like to joke around and say that they’d use “dying pig Cartman” the way those rappers use voicemails in their hit songs.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

As I lay in bed after the guys go home, I restlessly toss and turn, repositioning myself in bed for hours into the night. I can never sleep due to both excitement and anxiety before the start of any school year. Deeming all my attempts futile, I pull out my phone from under my pillow and text the group chat to see if anyone else was in the same boat as me.

GROUP CHAT (EVERYONE)

N/N: yoooo

Toolshed (Stan): nooooo (barf emoji)

N/N: aye! fucking RUDE >:(

N/N: imma stuff you back into mom’s womb

HumanKite (Kyle): LOL gross dude.

theCoon (Cartman): not as gross as ur mom’s jew vagina

HumanKite (Kyle): Shut the fuck up, fatass.

theCoon (Cartman): you know, its ironic you call me that when you have a fat bitch mom!

SuperCraig (Craig): idk cartman, your mom’s must be gaping to have been able to push a fat baby like you out

Mysterion (Kenny): LMAOOO tru dat

Mysterion (Kenny): phat pussy

theCoon (Cartman): AYE! at least my mom didn’t willingly fuck a soulless ginger like urs craig!

SuperCraig (Craig): (middle finger emoji)

Tupperware (Tolkien): Your mom literally did, Cartman…

HumanKite (Kyle): Fucking dumbass.

theCoon (Cartman): details, DETAILS

theCoon (Cartman): his parents are still together so she still does!

HumanKite (Kyle): Yeah, but that just means your poor mom has to work hard to make enough money to feed herself and 10 other people because you eat enough for an army.

theCoon (Cartman): shut up you fucking JEW!!!

N/N: i can’t sleep :(

Toolshed (Stan): no one cares lol

N/N: shut up

N/N: you know how theres always a twin who's less attractive, even when they're identical?

N/N: that's you, stanley

N/N: ur just bitter cause im the cuter twin

Toolshed (Stan): ur literally ugoo but i admire ur confidence i guess

Tupperware (Tolkien): I never get why you always insult each other's looks, you're literally twins

ProfChaos (Butters): poor buddy

ProfChaos (Butters): want me to hop on my switch? we can play animal crossing together until you get sleepy :3

Mosquito (Clyde): oooo, i can’t sleep too so i’ll also visit ur island :D

theCoon (Cartman): laaaame

theCoon (Cartman): kick these pussies out of the chat ffs

theCoon (Cartman): lets hop on our PCs and start an online campaign instead

FastPass (Jimmy): hop on this dick instead :P

Mysterion (Kenny): AYO??

Mosquito (Clyde): LOL, NO HOMO BRO???

FastPass (Jimmy): nah bro, all the homos (sunglasses emoji)

Mysterion (Kenny): AYEEEE

Toolshed (Stan): LMAOOO

FastPass (Jimmy): lmao wait no i was just kidding (crying emoji)

theCoon (Cartman): you guys are fucking idiots.

N/N: ewwww, with cartman?? who can be that desperate, even as a joke jimmy? (barfing emoji)

Mysterion (Kenny): want me to swing by N/N? i know a few ways to make you tired (winking emoji) (smirk emoji) (devil emoji) (tongue emoji)

SuperCraig (Craig): (middle finger emoji)

Toolshed (Stan): DUDE.

WonderTweek (Tweek): Want me to oo br ing you coffee eee tomo rrow Y/N?? ??

Tweek’s twitching often has him typing like this. He doesn’t bother fixing his typos since it’s not hard to make out what he says, anyways.

N/N: my gate is open butters :3

N/N: idk clyde, you trampled on my flowers last time.. >:(

N/N: ily tweek!! <3

Mosquito (Clyde): Y/NNNNN!!! T—T

FastPass (Jimmy): he did it on purpose too, Y/N

FastPass (Jimmy): i saw him

FastPass (Jimmy): i kept telling him not to

FastPass (Jimmy): he laughed like a maniac and everything while he did it

FastPass (Jimmy): he also threatened to chop down your trees

Mosquito (Clyde): LIEEEEES

Mosquito (Clyde): DON’T LISTEN TO HIM Y/N

Mosquito (Clyde): people are always trying to take me down because im HANDSOME so SHUT. UP!!!

Mosquito (Clyde): jealousy is a disease, jimmy, and i hope you get better soon because it looks UGLY on you!!!

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Despite sleeping late due to playing on my switch with Butters and Clyde, I wake up earlier than my alarm multiple times. Because of this, I decide to give up on going back to sleep when I notice that it's not that long until I should start getting ready anyways. I opt to pass the time on my phone instead, scrolling through social media like Coonstagram.

With my morning routine out of the way, I barge into my brother’s room without knocking to make sure he’s not still asleep so we’re not late to the bus stop… and also, to be annoying. After confirming that he is, in fact, awake when he throws a comic book at me, I go downstairs to eat some breakfast.

“I can’t believe you and Stan are already starting your second year of high school… Soon, you’ll be off to college like your sister and leave your father and I behind.” My mom laments as she places a plate of food in front of me.

“Don’t worry, mom. I’m pretty sure Stanley will still be living with you guys until he’s at least 35!” I smile sweetly at her while I spread butter onto my toast, as a muffled AYE! can be heard from upstairs. She tiredly sighs at us for getting onto each other's nerves so early in the morning but I continue to innocently eat my food.

“You remember what we talked about, right?”

“Hmmm..?”

“Even though you're going to school with your brother and the others now, I still want you to try to branch out into other things without them. You’re in high school now and I don’t want you to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities and experiences because of the boys,” The brunette continues.

“Yeah mom, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll make new girl friends when I try out for sports. Maybe volleyball? Or basketball. I don’t know—something. I still haven’t decided yet.” I shrug around a mouthful of food.

“You know that's not what I mean, Y/N… Just think about at least trying to join, maybe, I don’t know. Cheer? We don’t care if you don’t make it, but at least just attend tryouts? Who knows, maybe you’ll like it.”

Ahhh, and there it is. Even after all these years, my parents are still trying to push me to be more independent from my brother and the boys by doing more female dominated activities.

“Pffffttt!” Shelley snorts behind a glass of orange juice and I glare at her, angrily stabbing at my poor eggs.

“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be on campus, at your dorm or something? I bet she’s ditching classes, mom! Wasting all that college tuition!” I tattle annoyingly on my elder sister in spite.

“Shut up, TURD!” She voices over me, kicking the leg of my chair and making me pout even more.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

When my brother and I walk to the bus stop, I’m still pouting at what my mom reminded me of. I get more upset when I think about how we have to take the bus, even though most of the guys know how to drive.

Admittedly, we’re not of age to even get our license yet but some of us have their driver’s permit. They learned a little earlier because all of our parents are pretty chill with us learning how to drive as South Park doesn’t get traffic at all. This eases their anxiety as there are barely any other drivers on the road.

It doesn't ease my anxiety though, which is why I never learned to drive. I mean, why would I need to when I have a servant—oops, I mean brother, who can? The only problem is that none of our parents have gotten any of the guys cars to freely use (except for richass Tolkien) and aren’t planning to until they can legally drive.

“Mmph mmmph mmph? (What’s up with you?)” Kenny asks me before pulling down his parka’s hood.

“I don’t know, man. She’s been pouting since breakfast. Just ignore her,” My brother shrugs in answer for me and I pout even more.

“Probably that time of the month,” Cartman snarks before Kyle punches him in the arm.

“Shut up, fatass.” He says so I seek comfort from the ushanka wearing teen for coming into my defense, hugging his arm and leaning my head against him so I can comfortably mope.

“Hey! I asked how you were first. Come here, Princess.” Kenny whines and makes grabby hands at me but before he can do anything, the bus pulls up. As I look around at the new faces sitting all around me, Kenny grabs my arm and pulls me to the seat beside him.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asks, putting his arm around me but I just shrug in response.

“Is it because you didn’t get enough sleep last night? You know you don’t need beauty sleep when you’re already so pretty. And Tweeks bringing you coffee, yeah? Just wait a few more minutes and you’ll be able to get your fix,” He gently offers but I just shake my head.

“Are you nervous for your first day? Don’t worry baby girl, daddy’s here.” He teasingly says while winking at me, and it works. I crack a smile because of how cheesy and ridiculous his words are and softly slap the hand that's on my shoulder, leaning my head against him for the rest of the ride.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

South Park High looks the same as it did on orientation when we got our class schedule, prior to the first official day of school. Even then, I’m not as nervous about transferring to a completely different environment since I have my boys with me.

Kenny still has an arm around me as he walks me to my locker, until Craig pulls him by the hood to take him off of me, choking him in the process.

“Fuck! You asshole!”

“Can any of you guys not get into trouble on our first day of school?” Kyle sighs with his eyes closed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose when he and the others get to us. I finally get my much needed coffee and hug Tweek out of appreciation.

“That’s like asking Cartman not to eat.” Clyde snickers to the guys, eliciting laughs all around and lifting my mood up even more.

“Aye!”

“Ngh! Whoever gets to the cafeteria first grabs us an empty table, right?” Tweek interrupts while we voice our confirmations, my arm wrapped around his lower back from our earlier hug as I sip on my warm cup of caffeine.

“I’ll pick you up after class for lunch, N/N.” Craig’s monotonous tone reaches me, leaving no room for a no as the others pick up conversation around us.

“You don’t have to! Isn’t your class at the other end of the school? I don’t want you to have to go through all that trouble for me.”

“Yeah, dude.” Stan side eyes him, having heard our exchange.

“You’re so short, I don’t want you to get lost in a sea of people and miss lunch.”

“Pffft, Craig! Even if I did get lost, I wouldn’t miss the whole lunch period.” I smile fondly at him, letting go of Tweek to adjust my backpack’s strap.

“Yeah, if anything, I can pick up Y/N.” Kenny pipes up as Craig furrows his brows at his interruption. Stan rolls his eyes at the both of them, deciding to leave the conversation and go talk to Kyle instead.

“We have the same class, you idiot.”

“And? Everyone knows I’m faster than you.”

“Says who? My legs are literally longer than yours and I’m the tallest of the group. One step from me is equal to, like, four struggling steps from you. Three if I’m being generous.”

“Ugh, you guys are annoying. I have the class before lunch with Clyde so we’ll just meet you guys there, okay? Sheeeeesh,” I make the decision for them.

“You rang, beautiful?” Clyde drops his prior conversation with Jimmy and Tolkien midway to nosely join ours at the mention of his name, leaning his arm on me like I’m an armrest.

“Shut up, Clyde.” The three of us say as I shove his elbow off of me.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

When it’s finally lunch time, Clyde and I enter the cafeteria to see that a few of the guys managed to snatch a table for us so we head straight to the lunch line to grab some food. On our way there, we stop by a table and say hi to Jimmy, Scott, Timmy, and Dovahkiin.

“You go here now, baby Marsh?” Dovahkiin types out to me on his phone, an eyebrow raised.

“Yep! My folks finally decided to let me go to school with everyone!”

“Oh boy.”

“Hmmm? And what do you mean by that? I don’t like your tone, Dov.” I playfully shoot back.

“More trouble this year :p”

I laugh, “We’re not that bad! Actually… that’s valid. Whatever! You’re just jealous that you don’t get the attention of being the new kid now that I’m here!” I stick out my tongue at him and push down the bill of the hat he’s wearing to cover his eyes.

His melodic laugh can be heard and I smile, feeling proud that I was able to get a sound out of the notoriously mute Douchebag. I notice that a few other students look our way in surprise from the corner of my eyes.

I settle myself in between Craig and Kenny while Clyde takes a seat at the other side of the table between Tolkien and Tweek. The rest of the school day goes fine and the day after goes similarly. The third day, however, is different. It’s during one of our passing periods when I’m at my locker to switch out my books that it happens.

I share all of my classes with at least one of the guys so I usually have a buddy with me throughout the whole day. While Butters normally walks with me during this passing period, he had to use the bathroom and told me that he’d just meet me at class. When I close my locker door shut, a group of girls come up to greet me.

“Hi! My friends and I were wondering what your name is, new kid.” The black haired girl smiles at me. She’s really pretty and I can tell from that, her silky hair, and cute sense of fashion that she’s probably popular with others.

“Oh! Hi! My name is Y/N!”

“Cute name! I just wanted to formally introduce myself. My name is Wendy Testaburger. I’m the student body council president and co-captain of the cheer team,” I nod at her words, impressed. Holy shit, she’s only a sophomore and she was able to get people to vote for her for president?

“My name is Heidi Turner! It’s nice to meet you!” A girl with light brown hair introduces herself next. Her headband is so cute and unique with a flower sitting to the side of it, I’m in awe of her personal style and confidence.

“I’m Bebe Stevens! Stick with us and you’ll be fine, okay new kid? We’ll let you know which boys are a waste of your time!” The blonde giggles, twirling curly hair around her perfectly manicured finger.

I can’t help but to think that the aura she exudes is more mature. Maybe it’s because of the higher end attire she's sporting? Or maybe… it’s her rack..? Ah fuck, don’t look there, stupid! Eyes up, idiot! God dammit, this is all Kenny and Clyde’s fault!

“The name’s Rebecca McArthur but you can just call me Red! If you want to try out for cheer, let us know so we can tell you when our coach has a date set for tryouts!” Wait, are they all cheerleaders? The boys will be jealous of me once they find out about my new pretty friends hehe.

“We actually wanted to ask if you’d like to have lunch with us, too. Find us in the lunchroom if you ever decide to and feel free to sit with us! It doesn’t have to be today, but anytime you feel like it! We’ll see you around, okay?” Wendy invites me as the rest of the girl say their byes.

While being the new kid means that a good amount of people have been greeting me in the hallways or going up to me in class to introduce themselves, this was the first time that I’ve been invited to sit with someone for lunch. I’m so excited that I inform my lab partner of the news.

“no one new has invited me to sit w/ them at lunch since i came! :D” I write out in my notebook before sliding it across the two-person lab counter to my seatmate in science class.

“duh, it’s cause ur bro + his friends are super overprotective of you. no one can approach you even if they wanted to since you’re with them all the time :P” Dovahkiin writes back and I frown at this revelation.

“huh… that makes sense, i guess? oh god ew, i hope no one thinks that im dating any of them :x my brother?? CARTMAN?? vomit!!”

“its ok, you can tell anyone that im ur bf if they do :D” I softly hit his arm with the back of my hand even though I’m rewarded with his melodic snickering.

By the time lunch comes around, I’m giddy when I grab my food with Clyde. I tell him to go on ahead of me and he doesn’t question it, probably thinking that I want to stop by Timmy and the other’s table again. I don’t, however, and scan the room until I find the table that the girls are sitting at.

I sit next to Wendy and Bebe after I skip to their table, the ravenette patting the seat between them with a smile on her face. It feels nice talking to the girls as we get to know each other, with them asking me about how I’m adjusting to the school and what classes I have.

“We have another friend, her name’s Nichole, but she said she has to do something in the library today.” Red informs me and I soak up the information, enthusiastically nodding my head at her words.

“Speaking of Nichole, we actually noticed that you hang out with her boyfriend and his friends.” Bebe nonchalantly brings up as the girls all glance at one another.

“Oh, what! Wait, so that means your guy’s Nichole is the same one that's dating my friend Tolkien, then? No one else has a girlfriend that I know of,” I smile up at them.

“Mhmm, we actually noticed that you're really close to the guys,” She continues. The other girls seem interested too as they give me their undivided attention.

“Haha, yeah. They’re like my brothers!”

“Really? You just started going to school in South Park though?” They’re all surprised.

“Yeaaah, but I’ve known them all my life! I’ve actually lived in South Park all my life too. I just went to school in North Park until this year,” I say as I munch on my fries.

“How? Are you neighbors with one of them or something?”

“That, but I also went to preschool with them. If you guys have always been in South Park like me, we probably even went to the same preschool! I can’t remember shit from that long ago though so you guys probably don’t remember me too,” I shrug.

“Huh. I’m surprised that you guys kept in contact throughout the years then.” Wendy says to me in thought this time, the other girls nodding.

“Hmm, I can see why you'd say that. But my brother’s one of those dumbasses, so…”

“What?!” All the girls exclaim. Their unexpectedly loud response causes a casualty in my fries. I look at the fallen piece of food under the lunch table and mourn the tiny loss.

“So that makes you twins then..? Unless one of them flunked, resulting in you getting stuck in the same grade with him. It’s honestly believable with how dumb those guys are but we’ve gone to school with them all of our lives and we know that none of them have been held back a grade…” Wendy mumbles out and I laugh, agreeing with her statement.

“Yup, twins! I’m a Marsh!” I proudly boast, smiling wide with my teeth showing. Wendy chokes on her water and all the girls share a meaningful glance with her.

“Pfffft, oh man! We wanted to warn you about those dumbasses because we always saw you with them, but we just thought they got to you first and you were oblivious to who they were. I didn’t think you grew up that close with the guys, much less being related to one of them!” Bebe laughs at the unexpected turn of events.

I blush, flattered that they cared enough about a new girl like me to want to warn me about who they thought the ‘wrong crowd’ was.

“Not like you can say anything though, Bebe. You dated one of them,” Red scoffs, entertained at Bebe’s slowly reddening cheeks.

“That doesn’t count! Who even counts relationships from when they were in elementary school?!”

“Wait… Does this mean you’re the same Bebe that dated Clyde?” My entire expression does a complete 180 as I cross my arms and lift an eyebrow at the blonde.

“Dude. You used him for shoes.” I continue, furrowing my brows at the mortified girl.

“I was just a selfish little kid! I didn’t know any better! At least I didn’t date Eric Cartman!” She throws Heidi under the bus in an attempt to divert the attention away from herself. I continue to stare at her, unamused.

“Well, Wendy and your brother dated on and off when we were younger!” My eyes widen as I turn my head to the person sitting on the other side of me.

“Aw, dude.” I say to her in a mixture of pity and disgust, the expression reminding the girls of when Stan would say it. If there were any doubts about my bloodline, this further confirmed it for them.

“I-I-It’s not like that anymore! I haven’t thought of him in that way since elementary school!” It’s Wendy’s turn to get red in the face and embarrassed.

“Yeah, it’s the other Marsh. Homegirl has a type~” Bebe snickers at the other girls but I don’t hear it, still in disbelief that my brother managed to date someone as pretty as Wendy, regardless if their relationship wasn’t legit due to their age.

Before anyone can say anything else, the bell signals the end of the lunch period and the disbelief remains throughout the day. I catch up to the guys outside of the lunchroom and they waste no time questioning me.

“What the hell, Y/N! Why’d you eat with those bitches?! I know it might be hard for you but I thought I warned you to stop being so stupid!” Cartman seems irritated as the other guys echo their sentiments at having seen me eating with the girls. No, their exes. I squint my eyes at my dumb brother and at the fatty.

“Hello? Y/N! Don’t tell me your weak ass got brainwashed in an hour?! Jesus fucking Christ, woman!” Fatass continues while shaking my shoulders. I roll my eyes and push his grubby paws off me.

“You’re an ass. Heidi’s such a sweet girl. I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you managed to fuck that up,” I tell him as we continue to walk in the hallways.

“Nuh-uh! She was the crazy bitch in the relationship! She manipulated me! She took advantage of all this,” He waves his hands over his body, “For her own selfish gain!”

“What is there to even gain from you? A few pounds?” The guys laugh and I fistbump Craig.

“And you! Bro. Brooo. Wendy? When will you surprise me for once and not embarrass me for being related to you?” I cross my arms while Kenny hugs me from behind, throwing his arms over my shoulders and smiling at Stan from over my head.

“Nah, she's nicknamed Testabitch for a reason, babe.” Kenny takes out the lollipop in his mouth to reply and I push his hand away from my face when he offers the sweet to me.

“She’s not your babe,” We hear from Craig’s deep voice as he eyes the blonde in disgust at his offering.

“Did Bebe say anything embarrassing about me?” Poor Clyde tugs on my jacket to get my attention. I offer a sympathetic smile and hug the jock, breaking out of Kenny’s hold.

“Don’t worry Clydey, she seemed embarrassed that I knew about her using you for shoes.”

“Don’t hug him for being a fucking simp, Y/N. It’s his fault for being a dumbass. The only thing that bitch is good for is her fat rack.”

“Shut up, fatass.” Of course, Kyle is the one who replies.

“Shit, right? I couldn’t stop staring at them!” I turn my head towards Eric to say.

“Y/NNN!” Clyde whines in betrayal and I pet his head in apology.

#south park #south park x reader #craig tucker x reader #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #south park fanfiction #kenny mccormick x reader #lalawrites

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1015luv · 2 years

Text

── dating enhypen

a/n: my first post for the group, more under the cut :) basically how I think dating enhypen would be, enjoy this while I go fight the allergies that seem to spring up during this time for me.

warnings || none

heeseung

i think it would include lots of hoodie stealing (the author is a hoodie heeseung stan), anything that reminds (y/n) of him while he's not with them. despite his teasing pouts and comments about just buying the same one, he really does like how they look whenever they wear it. sometimes he'll even leave one in their closet whenever he comes over, and snap a few photos of them whenever they do wear his clothes for his wallpaper. video games! this might be self-indulgent but I can totally see the two of them competing and bonding over them. mario kart? street fighter? arcade dates are always fun, especially when they beat him in the piano tiles game. he says he always let (y/n) win, so (y/n) kisses him till he's no longer frowning. "what a sore loser" "i'm your sore loser" he quickly replied with a wink, laughing when (y/n) pushed him away out of embarrassment.

jay

remembers the little things; like their fast food order, their favourite characters and their favourite movies. he remembers the one time the two went window shopping, how (y/n) stared at a shirt a little longer than normal so he appeared one day at their door with the sweater in a gift bag and the sweetest smile on his features. he also remembers the places (y/n) liked to visit. like whenever they felt stressed, they ended up at the cafe in town. this one in particular had bookshelves lined with varies reading materials. jay knew that finals were coming up and (y/n) wasn't answering their phone, so he decided to poke his head in the cafe. once finding (y/n) in one of their reading nooks with their 3rd iced drink nearby, he took a seat next to them without a word. he leaned their head on his shoulder, resting his hand on their thigh and just peacefully enjoying the cafe music playlist. he knew words weren't needed, but when he felt them snuggle closer, he felt a small smile tug onto his lips.

jake

loves physical touch way too much. he always has a hand on (y/n), especially when they're outside, enjoys resting his hand on their waist and makes up excuses like 'oh I don't wanna lose you in the crowd' not that (y/n)'s minds. he has his clingy moments, especially when they haven't seen one another in a while. he enjoys last minutes dates, impromptu picnic in his backyard at 11pm at night? how about last minute tickets to a sports game that starts in 2 hours. the dates always end with a smile on the two of their faces, reflected in the polaroid photos decorating (y/n)'s bedroom. childish and loves to tease and pulls silly pranks, which usually ends with affection or food to make amends. also likes opening the door for them or pushing back their hair behind their ear, leaving a kiss on their foreheads as he pulls away with a shy smile.

sunghoon

dates at home were always the best, especially when they ended with cuddles or just being in each others arms. his favourite moments including when he rested his chin on their shoulder, peek over to see the page they were reading in their favourite book before busying himself with peppering their neck with soft kisses. "sunghoon you're being a bit distracting, I thought you said you wouldn't so I can read in peace" (y/n) commented while flipping to the next page. sunghoon pouted, his grip on their waist tightening. "couldn't help it, especially when the characters are making out and you're not doing that with me" he complained, (y/n) rolling their eyes before putting the book down and turning to give the pouty sunghoon the attention he wanted.

sunoo

playing rock paper scissors to see if it was a movie or kdrama night and who would be calling the take out place. the nice lady at the restaurant always enjoyed the bickering she heard on the phone between the two of you choosing which sauce to get with your food. sleeping in on your days off, just enjoying each others presence as the city around you get ready for the day. sometimes he likes listening as you mumble stories and questions he wouldn't know the answer to, enjoying the wonder and excitement in your eyes whenever you talk about things you're passionate about. "are you even listening to me sunoo?" "yes I totally believe that waffles are better than pancakes" was that what you were talking about for the last ten minutes? probably not, but waffles were pretty good.

jungwon

lots of cliché movie dates, your favourites are carnival ones. the sweet cotton candy, cute headbands he begrudgingly wears and losing your voices by screaming on the thrilling rides. pulling him towards the haunted houses and house of mirrors, you always end up clutching his hand a bit more than normal. he always smiles at this, kissing your cheeks after each one as a reward for not running off ahead of him. the night always end with cotton candy in your other hand, phone filled with photos and memories of the day. also the type to tease (y/n) by pinning them to the wall and caging them with his arms by their head like those movies, leaning in close before walking away like nothing happened. truly a menace.

niki

arcades, laser tag, batting cages, anything really that has the two of them outside and with one another. minus the 1v1s during laser tag and the arcade games that niki insists are essential and determine who's the best out of the pair, niki always has the biggest grin whenever he beats (y/n) which ends up with him tackling them and tickling them. (cue the arcade worker glancing over at them before shrugging and going back to the front.) totally winning (y/n) a plushie to see their huge smile, wearing a similar one on his own features as he enjoys their praises for winning. treating (y/n) to ice cream or sweets at the end of the night and just walking around the city with (y/n)'s arm looped around his. i think it would also include shy kisses and laughing after catching each others gazes. he was shy to hold (y/n)'s hand when the two started dating, though he's soften up to them a bit more now.

likes and reblogs are appreciated ♡

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causesciencethatswhy · 2 months

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The way Jikooks friendship even gets so minimised, all because JM is as close to JK as they want themselves or their self insert to be (because they don't understand/care for real Tae either) is so hurtful. Even beyond shipping, it's vile. It's also very telling how this is happening to Jimin in particular. Reeks of homophobia and a whole lot of internalised misogyny if you ask me. Same with Hoseok a lot of the time, too, especially in the Yoonmin dynamic.

The state of Army especially on twitter is...a lot to take in.

Exactly what I keep thinking. I've always considered that the vitriolic hate tkkrs/kpop fans in general have for jm is a result of internalized misogyny and I remember blinks or someone had mocked army's when they'd first brought it up because apparently men cannot be victim's of misogyny (some people need to really take a gender studies class in college is all I'm saying to that ).

Because jm presents in a more softer way that lends to feminity he also becomes the easy soft target to becoming the "other women" to their ships. It kind of made me really notice how a lot of the type of fetishisy shipper groups that you see in bl/fujoshi spaces are very similar to how tkkrs behave. The same intense hatred for the 'women'/women aligned characters and the immediate dislike for more feminine queer men is all something I've seen in fetishing bl spaces a lot.

The way jimin presents is much more obviously queer than any other member (purely based on mannerisms, cause if you hear joon or yoongi talking about love for a few minutes you can put two and two together). And his overt queerness makes a lot of cis hetero shippers (or kpop fans ) uncomfortable because they're forced to confront their internalized homophobia and misogyny head on. So they find a way to diminish his importance to the other members or villanise to cartoonish levels to deal with that discomfort.

I think the jikook suffer the worst brunt of this because jk for a majority of the fandom is the 'ideal boyfriend material' member , and that's perfectly fine as long as you're still able to see him as a full person outside of your fantasies of him. Jk obviously adores and admires jm (even if we're just looking at them as platonic besties). There should be no apparent reason to feel so threatened by jimins presence and importance in his life, except you see something There too. Except jimins queerness makes you uncomfortable and you project that onto jk.

As for the hobi thing with ynmin I honestly had no idea that he gets similar treatment in their theories (tho I'm not too surprised if that's the case).

I can barely scroll through army twt these days tbh. It's just bad takes, solo stan recruitment or ppl being dismissive of actual issues that army's should be focusing on like the kicking out 🛴 Braun from hybe, but instead being forced to debate blinks for the 100th time.

#jikook

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gaystan · 11 months

Text

Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski Relationship Backlash Reveals the Hypocrisy of Political Critique of Celebrities

Why is being seen in public with Kyle Broflovski, of all things, the line in the sand?

When Crimson Dawn embarked upon their long-awaited Daybreak Tour in March 2023, it seemed like Stan Marsh could do no wrong. Their 5th studio album, idk man you name it im tired (2022), was their most successful; fans eagerly awaited the announcement of His Voice, an upcoming single; Marsh had recently come out of the closet and described himself as “Happier than ever.” Fans breathed a collective sigh of relief that the drama of 2018, which saw Marsh publicly “canceled,” was firmly in the past.

But two months later, we fans would be forgiven for feeling like the past four years never happened. Crimson Dawn’s tour of the U.S., wildly successful by any metric, has shared the spotlight with a steady stream of headline-grabbing drama, including social media unfollowings, pap walks, revealing new music, and, above all, a highly controversial new relationship. Marsh’s romance with podcaster Kyle Broflovski, who was recently described by Jia Tolentino as “something of a test case for the digital panopticon and its reaction cycle,” has been dogged by countless rumors of Broflovski’s attention-grabbing antics.

Broflovski is known for his controversy, and the motions of the outrage cycle are, consequently, fairly predictable: receipts documenting Broflovski’s behavior and critiques of Marsh’s “white activism” have spread across social media platforms, impassioned fans have launched a campaign to convince their idol to “engage in genuine self-reflection,” and even group chats I’m tangentially in are filled with disappointed disavowals, Onion headlines, and barf emojis.

It makes sense: Marsh is looked up to by idealistic young women everywhere, many of whom are heartbroken that he would choose to associate with someone heavily tied up in racism, misogyny, and Islamophobia. But this particular outrage cycle misses a few things.

First, Crimson Dawn fans claim their protests are not against Marsh’s dating choices per se, but against who has the privilege of associating with the mighty Stan Marsh brand. Yet the resulting impression is nonetheless that disillusioned fans simply don’t like their idol’s new boyfriend and are therefore appropriating the language of social justice (e.g., encouraging Marsh to commit to “dismantling systems of oppression”) in an attempt to change his mind. But Broflovski is not a public servant; the status of Marsh’s boyfriend is not a public good to be revoked nor a job from which someone can be justly fired for their sheer unpopularity. Conflating the two reveals the extent to which fans view Marsh as a public commodity whose intimate choices ought to be subject to collective vetting. What’s more, though well-intentioned, the positioning of one man’s romantic life as a broad political issue only serves to harm the credibility of progressive causes with a clearly defined political goal.

#microceleb au #south park

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helloworldjj · 7 months

Text

Which pjsk group swears the most?

hello, tumblr! so I was bored and was thinking about pjsk as I often do and this particular train of thought led to me scouring the lyrics of songs to see which group swore the most. here are my results:

Leo/need:

none. family friendly fr stan l/n <33 (unless you count like, kagerou daze bc I doubt being killed over and over is content for kids)

MORE MORE JUMP!:

also none, but some songs are not as family friendly 💀 (looking at you, vampire)

Vivid BAD SQUAD:

Odo “half-ass deserves a K.O.” (kinda iffy on this one bc it’s ado’s official translation but lots more eng translations dont swear)

Honorary mentions:

Traffic Jam (the wiki’s translation has “fuck compromises” but several more translations use other words and the eng subs on the official video don’t use it. an and akito have this part)

YY (the og says “shit” various times but it’s BARELY audible in the vbs cover. akito and an get the lines where it occurs if you wanted to know lol)

Wonderlands X Showtime:

Law Evading Rock “party people (can just) fuck off” “welcome to the fucking circus” (tsukasa sings both of these ones lolll. the second one is only in the full ver and not the game one though)

Ego Rock “1, 2, 3, fuck you” (Len gets this last line)

ONLINE GAME ADDICTS SPRECHCHOR “shitty scheme” or “scheme like a shit” (miku sings it)

Honorary mentions:

KING (there’s literally not a single swear word but they bleep out Rui singing “die” and it is hilarious to me)

Literary nonsense (the eng subs on eve’s mv say “XXX you and your lies.” rui has this part. it’s funny that he’s been technically censored twice in these two songs even though he doesn’t really say anything akdjkajd)

Nightcord at 25:00:

Usseewa “shut the f*** up” (this lyric is censored on the wiki like this for some reason despite the fact other songs aren’t censored lolll)

Venom “like a shitty video game” (mizuki has this line)

Honorable mention:

Bitter Choco Decoration (the og spells out “fuck” but it’s not at all audible in the game)

The way I narrowed these down was by first going through this page that had a list of songs with “inappropriate lyrics” and looking at the translations of those specific songs.

Then I went through the main song list on the wiki, only looking at cover songs since I assumed the commissioned songs wouldn’t have any words I was looking for. I went through all of the songs and their lyrics featured on the wiki, though I did speed through them a bit so i might’ve missed a few words

#sidenote: when I was on Childish War’s page my phone auto translated the Japanese #it was… something 😭#like it translated a phrase as ‘wiping his ass’#but i didn’t put in it the list bc that’s not what other people have translated it as #just thought it was funny #pjsk #project sekai #colorful stage #hatsune miku: colorful stage #leo/need #more more jump #vivid bad squad #wonderlands x showtime #nightcord at 25:00

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ixalit · 1 year

Text

Hey y’all! It’s been more than a minute, but I’m so happy this exchange got me writing again. If you’ve been here any amount of time, you’re probably familiar with my chronic use of songs and poems for titles. This one is from “Warm” by Trevor Winn.

Also, speaking of music, here's the playlist mentioned in this fic, if you want to listen along.

This one is a special gift for @epicstuckyficrecs! Happy holidays, darling. I hope you like it and have a fantastic start to 2023 ❤️

It may be cold outside (but it’s warm in here with you)

Tags: a ridiculous amount of pining, getting together, christmas fluff, friends to lovers, romcom vibes, anxiety

Ship: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan

Rating: Teen

Length: 3.7k words

Summary:

Seb lends Chris his jacket, forgetting his iPod is in the pocket. What happens when Chris finds a playlist titled with his name?

~~~

“And then— And then, this motherfucker has the audacity to complain about being cooped up in New York during a goddamned pandemic!” Mackie laughed, knocking Seb’s shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Seb said with a grin of having heard this particular lament many times before. “At least I didn’t have to spend summer in New Orleans. You know I don’t do bugs.”

Mackie shot Seb a deadpan look that had the rest of the group laughing.

After figuring out they were all in New York, Downey had invited Scarlett, Paul, Seb, Mackie, and Chris to his house for dinner and drinks. And of course Chris had gone. He hadn’t seen most of them in far too long, and winter was lonely enough without turning down invitations. But now, after a couple hours and a few drinks, able to let his guard down around friends, Chris was only half listening to the conversation.

Read the rest on AO3

#evanstan #chris evans #sebastian stan #fanfic #rpf #my writing

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 11 months

Note

I’ve been thinking a lot about how sensitive tae / jk / tkkrs are. Like the thing you said about JK solos thinking the company and army are against him. Like if jimin had the fan base numbers and company support they had I would be thrilled and simply keep my mouth shut.

It’s especially interesting that they drag jimin so much when he poses no real threat (numbers wise) to them. Tae literally has 10 MILLION more followers than jimin on IG. And JK probably would too if he was still on IG.

What i keep coming back to is that can’t fathom jimin having the large amount of success than he has (even if it’s less than tae/jk) when he doesn’t have the traditional qualities that tae and jk have that make them the most biased. Like tae’s perfect face or JK’s boyish charm / masculinity / both of them being conventionally attractive overall, along with JK’s natural talent and Tae’s “confidence”. Jimin has all this success without those things. And I feel like that’s what bugs them and threatens them. Idk just thinking/rambling!

Here's the thing about Instagram followers... I've written about this before but I can't seem to find that post, so I guess I'll have to do another post (this one) about it.

Instagram followers are not a measure of talent or success. They never were, and never will be. I can only think of like Messi and Ronaldo who have 600 million followers as people who their instagram followers are *sort of* a reflection of how well known they are.

Armys live in a bubble; taekookers, Taehyung and JK stans live in an even smaller bubble, tho this could be true for every solo out there. They think BTS (or their particular bias) is the center of the universe, and they forget that there actually are other celebrities and musicians in the planet. They forget too that not everything that looks like success, is actually success.

Harry Styles doesn't get half the likes any BTS member gets. Harry has had several billboard 100 singles, many of them were #1 and As It Was is still charting. Yet he has even less followers than Jimin, I think. Harry has been touring non-stop for more than a year, now. You'd think he wouldn't have fans to attend his shows when you look at his posts with 1 - 2 million likes. He sold 500k albums the first week on the US. BTS sell ~200K. Beyonce gets less likes than any BTS member, too. Yet she's on a sold out stadium tour around the world right now. Coldplay has less than 20 million followers yet they've been active as a group since 1996, and they also are on a stadium tour right now. The same stadiums that BTS played in two or three times, Coldplay has had up to 8 sold out dates in those stadiums.

Now, for the final bosses. Taylor Swift gets around 7 millions likes on her posts. She's also on a stadium tour right now. Her albums that were released 15 years ago and she's re-releasing now, are still getting one million preorders in the first day, only in the USA. She gets 80 million streams on her spotify profile, DAILY. Everyday.

BTS right now has 73 million followers on their bts_bighit account, and it was a smaller number before but in 2021 they were already getting 100 million views for butter in the first 24 hours.

For Christmas 2020, Jimin released Christmas Love, unannounced. Literally they just posted a link, and the youtube audio got I think 10 million in the first day. Later that day, Taehyung went on weverse to announce he'd be releasing snow flower that night. It debuted with less views than Christmas Love, even if it had been announced. The members opened their instagram accounts on December 6th 2021 (I'm just going by memory here, so I might be slightly wrong on the date). Taehyung immediately was "on the lead" regarding followers, immediately gathered a few million more than any other member. Taehyung then released Christmas Tree in the end of December 2021. Debut streams: roughly 1.5 million. If even half of his followers had tuned in (on Spotify) for his song, you'd think he would've done better than 1.5 million streams. With you was released four months later and, despite having only half the tracking time and despite "unpopular" Jimin having less instagram followers than Taehyung, with you got a better first day streams. To this day, it still gains streams faster than Christmas Tree.

As a sidenote, I don't think it's a small detail that instagram followers and likes are way easier to fake and fraud than streams. In the end, Jimin is a musician and the only way he can "prove" anything about himself, or his popularity or success, it's through his music and his performances. I think it's clear he himself doesn't even care that much about his instagram profile.

The same goes for Jungkook's lives viewers, which was something I was thinking about the other day. He released music last year, and last year he was already getting 15, 20 million viewers (which his fans claim are unique viewers), but his songs debuted with not even half of that. And we know how streams work; one person could stream the same song 10, 20 times. So how come he doesn't get 40 million streams a day? Or at least one day in the year? If we were to assume that 20 million different people watch his lives, those 20 million could also play his song once or twice at least one day in the year. But that doesn't happen.

So that's why I could never be bothered about instagram followers and likes... it really never mattered to me. Records in general don't matter to me, and I've said it plenty of times. There are some Jimin "records" and numbers that I wasn't even aware of until FACE was released. I didn't know that with you was more streamed than stay alive or christmas tree, for example. There's some stuff I'm finding out only because other people post about it, not because I'm constantly checking up on Jimin's and other member's numbers.

I can only go with Taehyung's old releases numbers because he hasn't released anything in a while. Also, a random OST is not the same as a proper debut, so I am aware that nobody really knows how well he could do with his debut. But the truth is that -IN THE PAST- his streams and singles sales have always been lower than Jimin's; the only member who's on par with Jimin on that, is Jungkook. Maybe for his debut Taehyung will finally release a fun song that people actually want to listen to.

On the other hand, now that Jimin has "set records" with his debut album, when Taehyung and Jungkook's albums come out, they will try to out-do Jimin's numbers, and when the next Jimin album comes out, people will try to out-do taekook's numbers and so on and on. So unless it's a really extraordinary thing that could hardly be replicated (like Jimin's BB #1), other than that, records of numbers are a really fickle thing to hold on to. The only reason I talked about them in this post was to make a point that instagram followers really do not always correlate to how "successful" or loved, or supported someone is.

As for your last paragraph, firstly I'm really uncomfortable and tired of the backhanded "compliments" like Jimin is doing great, but not as great as Taehyung or Jungkook. Like what is the actual purpose? I know they will do well, but the undermining of Jimin's achievements is insane and so unnecessary. The day Jungkook's and Taehyung's albums were announced too, it was "the most successful kpop soloists in the world" when Jimin is literally right there, being exactly that right now. Why have most people in this fandom incorporated the backhanded compliments in their vocabulary? Being lowkey or even highkey shady towards Jimin is almost like an unconscious thing for most these days.

Talking specifically about the hate he gets from Taehyung's Jungkook's stans, what you mentioned is half of the reason why. The other half is, ships. The other half of the hate is because of taekook.

They have convinced themselves that Instagram followers and such, are a measure of success. They have convinced themselves that Jimin is not talented, that he can't sing, that he can't dance, that all these years he was pushed by the company as something he's not and that his whole personality is a lie. They fight so hard against the love he receives because they genuinely think he doesn't deserve it for all of those reasons they've invented themselves. Then some YouTuber shows up and reacts to a BTS live song and goes "oh this Jimin guy sounds the best" and they think he's been paid to say that. The idea they have of him has never correlated with the image the real world has of him, and that's what bothers them. If someone says I love this song, they just HAVE to be on his business and spam "this song is awful" because they think it's wrong to like him and want others to feel that way about him too.

That's never going to happen because the real world isn't chronically online, feeding themselves lies the way Taehyung and JK stans are.

It's also interesting, but not really, that according to them Jimin is a "flop" but Jimin is the only one they're always trying to surpass. So how exactly is he flopping if he's their biggest competition. All BTS members are competing with themselves as of right now, none of them stand a chance next to already stablished artists with proven global, stable success like Harry or Taylor. Didn't bad bunny get 1 billion streams on his album the FIRST day? That happened last year. And JK stans were so proud of Jungkook getting it in 409 days. I'd like to see Jungkook or Taehyung stans try and argue how successful they are compared to people like those I mentioned. All BTS members are competing with themselves, but none of them are actually stablished as solo acts, especially in the states. All of them are still confined to kpop so far. Jimin has probably started to crack the surface because Like Crazy was quite successful in the USA and even the UK, and there were a lot of things that gave it publicity, but even then that's just a crack and it takes time to settle as an undisputed successful solo artist. No BTS member has the time to do that.

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

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another reason i'm happy for chap 2 is bts destroying all the narratives about them and women bpp. in the wild days of ✨discourse ✨ on tumblr, thank you for being the voice of reason. before i'd see people say bts avoids women because of armys, bts never works with women, bts hates women, bts has weird relationship with women, the relationships is weird because of armys. but what happened? rm worked with soyoon and now armys are listening to her music, became her fans, respecting her. jimin danced with women and nobody died. his female dancers are loved in fandom. suga has been working with women for a decade and the fandom never cared. all those bts - women theories and discourses just look so stupid now.

the same with the discourses about bts relating to other idols in hybe and general kpop. before covid bts played with txt and after covid in chap 2, bts returns playing with txt as their idol and comeback activities return to full. like normal like was always expected.

bpp my question is, where did these theories even come from?

***

Hi Anon,

It's funny, isn't it? I mean, on one hand there's always a faction of the fandom that believes the members belong to them and cannot date anyone (male or female), just as there is in every other k-pop fandom. But as you said, the talking points in certain k-pop spaces about ARMY's overall response to BTS working with women, being around women, having friendships with women, especially in contrast with how BTS relates to ARMY, has zero basis in reality.

Outside of the usual fandom tone-policing and checking y/n shippers (and taekookers), the whole idea of BTS - women - ARMY as a whole having any sort of weird relationship is a very recent thing too, because this is not a talking point I saw anywhere in the fandom before 2020. Going by some forums I was in at the time, I suspect this particular 'concern' was started by fans of other k-pop groups in 2020 and I'll just leave it at that. Like I vividly recall a Taemin stan telling me without preamble to wake up to the fact BTS is "kept away" from women. With BTS's long history of working with and interacting with women whether or not ARMY was in the picture, none of those theories made any sense to me.

It's such an odd thing to even debate or discuss given everyone can see with their own eyes how that dynamic has played out for the last 10 years. There's no conspiracy or anything to even theorize about, far as I'm concerned, because many of their female friendships and work relationships are well known.

Nobody lost their shit when Ryujin was spending time with BTS, when she filmed the reel with BTS, and afterwards when she talked about working with them. And I can list off 10 other women (at least) who this is true for too.

I hear you too about BTS working with other idols especially within HYBE. It's true that while touring in 2019 BTS was very busy and appeared 'removed' from TXT who where just ramping up, and that since 2015 BTS had focused more on curating their own content/variety shows given they'd been repeatedly disrespected and blackballed by the Korean media establishment. But they still interacted with other idols and after they clarified their plans for Chapter 2, just continued as expected. But somehow, the talking point of BTS feeling 'too proud' to interact with the rest of k-pop (by k-pop stans), that too took on a life of its own, and was made to seem more nefarious than it actually was. I still find a bit amusing tbh.

I think one reason these sorts of theories about BTS and the most innocuous things get obsessed over as fact by k-pop stans, is because for a group like BTS, those people have nothing else to say. There's very little you can actually hold against a group like BTS. And I'm not saying that just because I'm a fan. The fact is with the history most k-pop groups have, very few of them could last anytime at all in BTS's position with the amount of scrutiny on the group.

A second reason is k-pop fans relying on pre-conceived notions about a group they don't like, and then applying the worst examples of issues they've seen in their own or other k-pop fandoms, to BTS and ARMY regardless of whether it applies. For example, VIXX is in the news lately because a member worked with a broker to dodge military service in Korea, but before now that group was notorious for some of the most disturbing kinds of fan-service I've ever seen in k-pop.

Exhibits:

A female fan giving Hakyeon her thong to sign

(A lot of k-pop stans back then and today think this is cute, but imagine for a second if this was a BTS member and ARMY lmao)

The group members designing thongs and other lingerie for their female fans

(I mean, I can see how this could be a flex but imagine for one sec if this was in BTS's history)

And there's the group including a BDSM contract for their fans in their album

(Almost 10 years later and I still don't know what to say...)

Another example is members of Shinee saying point blank they can't talk about their dating life because their fans have told them they don't like it.

I mean, imagine if BTS did any of that today. Heck imagine if they did that years ago. K-pop stans are still making them pay dividends for War of Hormone and mixtape lyrics from 2015, even after a Women Studies professor vets their work, even after HYBE has female CEOs for their sub-labels, and even after on Blind in Korea female workers say HYBE is the best company in the entertainment sector to work for.

A lot of the talking points, criticism, or discourse around BTS sounds bonkers, especially if you know what else is going on in the industry, what other groups are doing or have done with nary a mention from the wider k-pop fandom.

It reminds me of how Jimin was getting flamed for missed insurance payments because someone stole his mail, while during the same day the news broke, Yang Hyun-suk (the guy who manages BlackPink and is debuting Baby Monster this summer) was in court after a former female trainee in his company claimed he threatened to kill her, gave her drugs, and pimped her out. If you took a look at the trending k-pop pages on Twitter or k-forums, you'd think Jimin was the one facing a sentence and not the guy that remains at the helm of YG.

Because as I keep saying, for many k-pop stans, the underlying issues are less important than who those issues are about. Apply the same thinking to the theories you see about BTS and women.

Even in the case of outright dating rumors in the past 10 years, the fandom didn't collectively lose their shit. Jennie's case being the exception because she had the double misfortune of triggering the most unhinged side of the fandom (taekookers) and belonging to a group whose fandom has some of the most extreme rivalries with ARMY, and so many from her fandom worked to disprove it as virulently as taekookers did. I consider Jennie an anomaly for that reason because there have been several examples over the years when nobody cared. For example when the dating rumors of Jimin with Seulgi from Red Velvet happened, the most people did was speculate and move on...

I've rambled lol, but anyway, what I mean to say is that agree with you Anon.

#bts #kpop #bts and women #fandom behaviour #kpop fandom #bts army #bts fandom #Bangtan #K-pop #fandom discourse

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ohmuqueen · 8 months

Text

Bias Tag Game

Tagged by: @foxpuppylove thank you so much!! I love tag games but I’ve lost (aka buried in my likes) many of the older ones I was tagged in so I’m super excited to do these, always! 💕

Tagging: @bakailikeyu, @miracleminho, @aquaxalien, @taeminbrainrot, @flowerlee, @bleshilegend, @menofkpop, @atlantis-area, @ultrakdramamama, @emily-lol, @fireworksgalaxy

As always: no pressure; if this isn't your thing, feel free to just ignore ♥

Bias list: I had to include all members of SHINee, mostly because I want to answer questions about them because I know them better than any other idols. The rest are really arbitrary, I am not good at following a lot of groups, but these are the idols I definitely admire the most and the most consistently (as much as I’m capable of with so few waking hours in the day);

So, in no particular order:

Taemin

Jonghyun

Key

Minho

Onew

Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Baekhyun (EXO)

Chaewon (Le Sserafim)

Sua (Dreamcatcher)

Ten (NCT/Wayv) (Tehe he’s number ten on a group of ten)

Between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

Baekhyun, because I stanned SuperM before I became a shawol.

2. Between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

Jjong - his music, his words, just everything he's done has gotten me through a lot.

3. If you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

Taeminnie - oh gosh, idk what I'd want to do, nothing special really. Just relax with him I guess, chat and eat a meal together. Ask him about his work and ideas for future projects. Play and cuddle with his cats. (Wouldn't object to drinking with him if he was up for it - especially while watching a horror movie. I don't enjoy horror movies but I'd want to see which one he'd pick out to watch with someone.) Aaaand if this day included watching him practice dancing or recording his music I wouldn't be opposed...

4. What is your favorite physical feature about 9?

Her smile! I mean, everything about her face lol. She's extremely beautiful to me.

5. What is your favorite part of 6's personality?

I don't know Seulgi's personality well, but I loved what she did with her first solo album, so I suppose I can say her execution with her art. She has a unique style (really my ideal for a female idol) that I hope we see more of!

6. If you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

Again, I don't know this idol's personality well either, but if I could tell Chaewon something I would say she's doing amazing, to eat well, rest well, and take time to have fun! Because honestly every idol is overworked and deserves more breaks.

7. Between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

Jjong's! I love his style the most, I just think he is so cool.

8. What is a style that you want to see 3 try?

Hmm, I'm not fashion savvy like Key, but I do miss the high fashion I've seen him wear at the airport in the past (like 2015-2017? ish? my babywol brain can't give you more specifics). I can't say a specific style, but I guess I like the more flashy clothes. Like this for example. Or this outfit from 151130 (I spent an embarrassingly long time looking for this lol)

Also multi-colored hair! Like he had during Odd era or RDD era. IDK how many times that RDD hair changed colors but I loved them all.

9. Between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

Oh definitely Onew. (I'm 5'1", or 154 cm)

10. Between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

I don't really have a preference, it depends on my mood for the day. I have been listening to more NCT lately, but I like both of these groups' music for my workouts especially (groups like NCT, Dreamcatcher, EXO, KARD, and of course SHINee I love playing for my workouts).

#personal #shinee #le sserafim #ten nct #baekhyun #exo #nct #taemin #jonghyun #key #onew #minho #sua #dreamcatcher #seulgi #red velvet #chaewon #tag meme

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caitkaminski · 10 months

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Hi there! I hope you're having a great day :)

I just wanted to know your thoughts and opinions on Lewies public speech to mc? It looked a bit disingenuous to me and a bit like he was saying the things he did for show and not because he meant it. But that could just be me and my trust issues ☠️

As a Lewie girl I will stay by his side until he gives me an actual reason to switch or dump, but so far he's been real sweet, caring etc. I'm honestly just a bit worried because I can't lie, after the whole Chloe situation (ie him putting in effort into their date, wearing a new aftershave for their date, him being on the verge of saying something flirty to Chloe but correcting himself when he sees mc is watching and then after their date saying those things even if it was to hype up the scenario to the boys and telling them what they wanted to hear) I find myself questioning him and his loyalty 😭

Lewie has always made me feel secure and like he is a loyal guy but that whole thing rattled me and now I genuinely am scared of going back and him being with another girl 🥲 and I'm also pretty upset he didn't leave with us but that's just me😩

Sorry for the long post btw lol I just know as a collective, us Lewie lovers are screaming crying and throwing up at the moment 🤣

Hi! Hope you’re having a fab day too!

All in favour of a Lewie lover support group raise your hands 🙋‍♀️

No but the speech

By FAR the least cringey public declaration thing the lis did. In case you don’t know them:

- Ryan sang a song he wrote

- Roberto did a terrible dance

- Jamal wrote his name in flower petals or something?

Yeah so we got off lucky with a speech. I actually think it was genuine and pretty cute! 😂

He’s said quite a few times he’s not good with words. I HC he’s got a lot of thoughts and overthinks stuff but doesn’t say a lot, or anything well anyway lmao

again, it’s another thing Farmer Will did on this years winter love island, he did a speech for his girl. So I like to think that was kinda the inspo and he’s not actually just saying everything we wanna hear. He knows he’s fighting off guys for mc at the minute so he wants to go the extra mile.

I’m a delulu loyal Lewie stan but yeah, some stuffs got me questioning and I think that’ll come out on movie night.

One scene in particular that I found super sus was that scene where we’re on a date with Roberto and Ivy says Lewie was flirting with her while mc was gone AND HE DOESNT DENY IT, he just acts dumb

THEN he goes off for a lil walk with her, mc snoops and again he spots us just before a kiss might happen.

I mean, that was early days but I still don’t like it. Ivy says all he could talk about was us on the date but still.

I love him but I’m getting sick of all the lis being written the same way. Some stuff just doesn’t fit with certain characters. Lewie not leaving with us right after his speech and asking to be an unofficial couple and calling us HIS BEST FRIEND does not sit right with me.

#why are pixel men like this?#clearly I needed a rant about Lewie #litg #love island the game #litg s6 #litg lewie #litg double trouble #caits great asks

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toxicrevolver · 6 months

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Hello Obsidian! I hope you're doing well!

(It's funny I just realized our ask boxes have similar names haha)

I just wanted to ask what K-Pop groups you stan and about any biases or ults you might have! I'm very curious~ I know we have Wonhyuk in common but I'm not entirely sure what else!

Hi Minie!! I am doing pretty decent. Tired but that’s my normal state of being. I hope you’re well too!

(I never even noticed the ask box thing. I always forget what mine says so I had to go look. That’s great tho. Great minds think alike!)

The list of K-pop groups I stan is decent. I’ve got two sorta categories. Groups I actively keep up with and then there’s groups I like but DON’T actively keep up with. It’s a weird breakdown. HOWEVER. LETS LIST.

Answers are gonna be under the break bcs it’s gonna get long. I have no excuses.

Groups I Stan/actively keep up with (no particular order):

Disclaimer. Some of these groups I’m still learning names/faces but I’m still actively keeping up with new music content and collecting albums when I can. And I am genuinely trying to learn names/faces. It just takes a bit.

BTS, NCT (yes all of it. The entire mess), Stray Kids, Ateez, OnlyOneOf, Oneus, E’last, Seventeen (BSS included), TXT, Xdinary Heroes (they’re technically a band but meh), SHINee, XEED, Enhypen, Xikers, BoyNextDoor, P1Harmony, Kingdom, RIIZE

Soloists I like

DPR IAN, Jackson Wang, Holland, I like most of the stan lists solo stuff too but im not listing all of the group members who have done solo stuff. I’d be here for like a month.

Groups I like but don’t actively keep up with or really know. They’re music just slaps (i follow some of these groups on twitter/insta bcs pretty but that’s really it. I can’t really name/identify anyone. The handful of exceptions are due to them interacting with members from the stan list or they’re just a recognizable member):

Aimers, 8Turn, Blitzers, The Boyz, Cravity, DKB, Drippin, EXO, The Rose, Lucy, Kard, Monsta X, OneWe, Pattern, Pentagon, &Team, The7, Treasure, Triger, VIXX, XY

So a bias/ult list. That’s a little more complicated bcs I stan quite a few groups of children and/or I don’t know all the members. But an attempt at a list is gonna be made.

ULTS- Suga, Leedo, and Choi In (that’s really it so far. I’m still figuring it out. I’ve only been into K-pop for about a year and I’m still not positive what upgrades a bias to an ult for me.)

Biases- (have a screenshot from my notes app (I’m trying to teach my non K-pop sibling))

NCT is inaccurate but I’m too lazy to change it. That bias list is a mess and if you wanna know more don’t hesitate to either ask or DM me. NCT fav unit tho is WayV. (Side Note. I refer to the new unit as NCT Toddlers.)

SHINee might be wrong too. Minho has been an issue lately.

Kingdom bias is soon to come. I still gotta learn who’s who. Currently from what I’m know it’s leaning Mujin, Arthur, Dann, or Louis

BND bias does not exist those are my children and I can’t pick a favourite child.

Xikers bias is Junmin but Sumin is baby (allegedly Sumin got them banned from saying Skrr and doing the happy happy happy tiktok challenge)

Enhypen biases are Heeseung and Jungwon currently but that’s not concrete (I haven’t watched much of their variety content)

P1H bias is Soul. That’s my son I will protect him with my life. Keeho is my adult bias tho. He scares me. (I hope like hell that makes sense and I don’t sound insane.)

Okay. I think I covered everything. If I missed anything don’t be afraid to ask.

#asks #obsidian rambles #hi my wonhyuk friend!!!#<- you have shown up twice now. that means you upgrades to friend title instead of moot.#idk why that’s just how it works.#I am so sorry this is so long. i wanted to make sure I covered everything #if I missed ANYTHING don’t hesitate to send another ask or DM me #I like a lot of groups. its expensive.

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angelicyouth · 10 months

Text

Saccharine

⇢ pairing: stan marsh x barista!reader

⇢ synopsis: ❝He didn't know why he kept coming (he's lying—he definitely does) and he didn't know why he kept fucking up with making himself look like a complete ass in front of her.❞

⇢ warning: sexual content

⇢ [AO3 link]

Stan Marsh is staring, unabashedly at that

And he knows he is.

It’s all the ravenette has been doing since the day that the guys spontaneously decided to set up their laptops and textbooks at the hole-in-the-wall coffee shop closest to their university’s campus. With midterm season quickly approaching, they were desperate to find a place that wasn’t crowded with other stressed out students and could seat all of them for some last minute studying (their group of childhood friends was pretty damn big—it also didn’t help that Cartman counted as three whole people, the fucking fatass).

Even when exams were over, the group began to frequent the place in between classes and nights after the clubs or bars when they needed to find a place that was open until the late hours of the night and could provide them some sort of nutrition to soak up the abundance of alcohol in their stomachs. It honestly seemed like the group single-handedly kept the business going as Butters absolutely adored the freshly baked confections prettily sitting behind the glass display case and even Tweek appreciated their house blend of coffee beans.

But today, Stan Marsh has come to the café on his own for the very first time.

He knows that he probably looks like a suspicious creep as he loiters in front of the glass windows adorning the front of the coffee shop, taking long drags from his cigarette in a desperate attempt to soothe his nerves before he can muster up the courage to walk in. It’s his second one (obviously, he’s been delaying like a damn coward) and not because he has social anxiety or a fear of public spaces when he’s alone, but because he can’t take his eyes off of a particular distraction that has greedily taken up his undivided attention these past few months.

You.

The mesmerizing way your slender hands confidently go through the familiar motions deeply ingrained in your body to create the most delicious beverages. The captivating expression on your face when you greet customers as the warmth of the sunlight streaming in through the window gently caresses your face, further accentuating your soft features and the pretty pink of your lips whenever you smile.

The melodious lilt to your voice every time you part your plump lips, the corners of your mouth cutely quirking up as the cadence and intonation of your every word exudes a hypnotic effect to those listening. The enchanting way you seamlessly handle difficult customers, your patience and caring virtue creating a charisma that people can only spend years trying to learn and recreate.

However, it’s not the well-welcomed fact that Stan found you pretty fucking hot that has him constantly distracted (Okay, he’s fucking lying. It’s definitely partly due to this but it’s not the only reason). The ravenette is unable to concentrate whenever he’s within your immediate vicinity because of the endless stream of lollipops that you go through during your shifts.

You never waste any time after finishing a sucker before your hand reaches into the pocket of your apron to unwrap another, quickly replacing the lone stick in your mouth with whatever crystal-flavored sweetness got blindly picked. Whenever he’s occupying the establishment of your workplace with the guys, his body has become unwillingly conditioned to cast you a lingering glance whenever he hears the tell-tale sound of a wrapper being unwrapped.

When the bell dangling over his head happily chimes as he pushes the door open, he immediately regrets his solo visit when he clumsily trips over the welcome mat on the floor and barely manages to send a poor grandma flying. His heated cheeks quickly develop a vivid shade of red when all of the patrons of the café are not-so-subtly gawking at him for being a walking shit show on legs, his head lowered in complete embarrassment as he joins the line of waiting customers.

Looking up at the neatly written and aesthetic menu of the coffee shop, he can’t help when the skin between his eyebrows furrow in utter confusion. He knew English, yeah. But he didn’t drink coffee enough to know what every combination of letters meant, feeling as if he was trying to decipher the dead Latin language as his eyes painfully squinted.

He could’ve gotten a simple hot chocolate or a frappuccino but he didn’t want to give you a bad impression—that he was a grown man getting a caffeinated milkshake unless one of the guys were here to order it for him like they always did.

He wanted to impress you, damn it, he stubbornly thinks before his eyes shift and he sees you staring straight at him.

You’ve got an eyebrow quirked up even though the rest of your pretty face is devoid of any other emotion, your fingers loosely holding the stick of your lollipop. Your slicked lips wrap around the hard candy as you pop it out of your mouth, the action creating an almost obscene noise that causes Stan to nervously swallow in an effort to ignore the anxious bile that was rising up in his throat.

After languidly licking a long stripe against the vermillion-colored shell, your lips part to speak. “I said: what can I get for you today, sir?”

The ravenette’s mouth opens and closes repeatedly for a stuttered second, his mind panicking at the humiliation quickly flooding his entire body. “I–uh… I’ll have a caramel… Thingy.”

Stan internally screeches at how fucking stupid he sounds, his hands clenching into tight fists by his sides. Your hands automatically move to punch in the order as the teen opens his mouth to clarify, “I’ll have a grande or something.”

You lift an eyebrow again in a way that makes the ravenette feel so judged as the corner of your lips begin to quirk up in amusement, Stan hurriedly cutting you off before you can respond. “Oh fuck, was that right? Was it supposed to be a venti..?”

The front of your body leisurely leans against the counter separating the two of you in mirth, your elbows planted on the marble countertop as your palms caress your cheeks. “This isn’t a Harbucks, dude.”

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He nervously laughs, quickly trying to correct his incorrect lingo. “Right! Right… Just get me a medium… Or something.”

“Name?” Your voice comes out in a lazy drawl, your eyes shining in amusement as you poise your hand ready in the air with a marker to write on the plastic cup belonging to your store.

“Uh. Tony! Yeah, Tony.” Stan winces, internally admonishing himself for panicking and giving a fake fucking name. He wonders why his mother ever let him out of the house if her son was this fucking dumb.

“Alright, Tony. Your drink will be ready at the pick-up counter. Have a nice day.” The ravenette’s brain lags more than it usually does when you brightly present him with a pretty smile, your pearly white teeth making an appearance.

And when your coworker has to call out the fake name almost ten times before Stan belatedly realizes that it's his order that’s been ready for a while now, he can’t help but to snicker when his eyes skim over your cute penmanship. The neat scrawl in black ink makes him smile to himself throughout his lectures for the rest of the day, his friends giving him weird looks whenever he laughs to himself.

Toe-knee :P

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

That was the first time Stan Marsh has ever dropped by the coffee shop alone before his afternoon classes. But the first time he visits by himself during the night, he’s running from the cops.

Ever since that admittedly embarrassing encounter, Stan grew increasingly greedy with making solo trips to the café before his classes just to catch sight of you. The few words you both exchange whenever he visits never fails to make him grin dopely like an idiot for the rest of the day (Kyle’s words, not his). The ravenette even began to prioritize seeing you even if he woke up late and wouldn’t get to his lecture in time if he dropped by beforehand.

It has also become a private joke between the two of you as he gives you a fake name that you purposely misspell every single time he orders, the ravenette trying something new from the menu whenever you two meet. Written alongside your doodles, some of his favorite ones were:

Caesar (Seezur)

Jerry (Jarie)

Michael (Mykole)

Christopher (Kristoefur)

Miles (Myals)

It’s already like a habit to take careful precaution when stepping over the welcome mat when he slips through the front door (there was a corner of it that didn’t lay completely flat) and weaves through the tables. He catches the moment you spot him and offers you an attractive smile of his own before his rushing form disappears into the gender neutral bathroom.

This is the image that greets you when you loudly kick open one of the doors of the three stalls inside the restroom, the ravenette uncomfortably curled in on himself as his feet stand above the closed toilet lid. You lean against the tiled wall of the restroom as he sends you an awkward smile before he realizes the situation.

“Wait—What the fuck! How’d you open the goddamn door?!” He yelps as his hands scramble to reach out and yank your form inside the small space with him.

“What the hell are you doing?” You quirk an eyebrow as you watch him slam the stall door shut, his hands trying futilely to properly lock the silver metal.

You roll your eyes at the painful attempts of the ravenette, shoving his protesting body aside when he repeatedly fails as you harshly kick the lock shut with your booted foot. “It’s fucked up. You have to force it for—”

Your words are cut off when Stan roughly pulls you onto his lap, your chests pressed against one another as he plants both of his feet against the flimsy door for extra precaution from the unreliable lock. “Cops are after me. My dumbass friends got caught tagging the subway so we all split up when we booked it.”

His voice is low as he explains, your body involuntarily shivering as the close proximity causes every word that leaves his mouth to lightly hit the shell of your ear. Muscular arms automatically wrap around your waist when you hear the bathroom door open, the sound of a staticky voice relaying information from a walkie talkie and alerting you both that the police were inside.

“Found one at the City Wok on 5th street—a larger teen with brown hair, over.” Stan rolls his eyes because of course Cartman's fat ass stopped by for some fucking food while running away from the goddamn police.

A smirk curves along your lips when a sly yet very bold idea pops up in your head, your arms lifting up to wrap around the broad shoulders of the worried teen. You allow a giggle to escape from your lips, the heightened sensation of warm air against his skin causing the ravenette underneath you to tense up.

Ever so slowly, you angle your face just a bit towards his and allow your lips to lightly skim along the side of his neck. His body shudders when you leisurely trail upward, your tongue escaping from the wet confines of your mouth to languidly lick along his ear as a sharp breath of air escapes from the parted lips of your loyal customer.

His larger hands tighten their grip around your waist in warning as the officers begin to check the empty stalls for their suspects, a mischievous smirk appearing on your face before you gently nibble on the lobe of his ear and around his earring. The chest against yours begins to quickly rise and fall at your heated ministrations as your fingers tug on the tousled locks of raven-colored hair on his head, your lips wetly mouthing along the length of his neck before suddenly biting down.

His body jolts before the quick suction of your mouth causes a breathy moan to slip out of his mouth, your tongue gently caressing the places of abuse as you create a trail of vivid reds and deep purples to blossom on the previously blank canvas. You find delight at the reaction you elicit as a giggle escapes your slightly parted lips, your breath deliciously hitting his slicked skin and prompting a cacophony of goosebumps from the sensation.

You can hear the cops knock on each stall door before they open them when you begin to ground your body against the slowly hardening member underneath you, forcing your mouth to continue with making a multitude of possessive marks so as to not make a sound. When the flimsy barrier behind you shakes from their fists coming into contact with the cool material, your hips don’t stop your rhythmic motions when you breathily answer.

“Occupied.” Sounding as wrecked as he was feeling, Stan’s fingers reach underneath the hem of your uniformed button-up so that his cool fingers could lightly skim against your bare sides.

“Sorry!” They politely call out before you hear their slowly disappearing footsteps tapping against the tiled floor of the bathroom as they finally exit.

As soon as the door behind them loudly shuts close, the air in your chest gets suddenly forced out when a ring-adorned hand roughly grabs onto your chin to force your lips against his. It’s controlling, dominating at every swipe of his tongue against yours and every harsh bite on your lower lip.

He has full control and he’s confident in himself as he forcefully orchestrates every soft mewl that escapes from your throat, his smirk delightedly pressed against your gasping mouth as your arousal desperately weeps at the heady actions of the usually clumsy teen. His hold over your face and your waist is firm, ironclad in its possessive grip over your squirming body.

“What happened, Princess?” The deep baritone of his voice beautifully mixes with his lust-induced huskiness as he teases you for your earlier bravado, a smug grin curving along his attractive face.

Your mouth opens to snarkily respond but your moment is forcefully stolen from you as he brings two of his longer fingers past the soft barriers of your slicked lips. Obediently sucking around his digits, he delves back to greedily indulge himself in your already bruised and numbed mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking pretty. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” You whimper around the filthy way he harshly sucks on your tongue, chasing your taste as a string of saliva connects the two of you when he parts from your lips.

You whine at the loss before he immediately silences you by placing a hot and heavy hand against the skin of your inner thighs from underneath your skirt, static shocks of pleasure erupting along the depths of your stomach as his fingers collect your steadily leaking arousal. A low yet throaty chuckle resounds from in between you, cutting through the both of your breaths mingling with one another as your lungs take desperate reprieve from your separation.

“You like that? You want more?”

You feel drunk in pleasure as you nod, a dense cloud of arousal overcast your bodies as the teen underneath you sensually rolls his thumb against the sensitive nub of nerves. The sound of you crying out is feverish and desperate, almost feeling surreal from the overwhelming sensations attacking you at once.

“What do you say?”

You’re desperate as you beg, “Please!”

“Good girl. Wish I could eat you out—bet you’d taste as good as you look, sound, and smell.” He mumbles against the length of your neck, the lewd sounds of his lips caressing your skin cutting through sharply in the air.

The intense assault from multiple places at once causes your head to spin, his larger hand pinching the nub of your nipple and massaging your chest while he teasingly circles the entrance of your aching heat. You feel unbearably overstimulated—sharply aware of every touch across your trembling body even though he hasn’t really done anything, yet.

“Need you around my cock. Can I, babe?” Stan punctuates every word with a thrust from the two fingers inside of you, your arousal clenching around the way he slowly drags them against your slicked walls.

You clumsily nod, your knees violently shaking in pleasure as he pushes away the thin fabric of your lace panties and teasingly drags his blunt head along your weeping folds. “Come on, pretty girl. I know you can take me.”

A sob gets stuck in your throat when you wail out loud, the ravenette fluidly pitching his hips forward until he’s fully burrowed in your tight heat. “Fuck, just look at you.”

Your moans are wet and broken, your walls deliciously stretched that you can barely breath before he begins to roughly thrust into you. It’s deep, almost too much as the sounds of your moans beautifully mix together in the quietness of the desolate room.

A larger hand grabs a handful of your silky locks from the base of your head, tugging you out of the solace of his sweat-sheened neck. “Focus on me, babe.”

You hold eye contact with him as he showers you in praise, your body desperately fighting to keep your eyes open every time they slowly flutter shut to keep hearing his words. “That’s it. Look at you—you look like you were made to take me.”

A hand caresses the side of your heated cheek when your head starts to dangerously loll to the side, tears rapidly leaking down the corners of your eyes as his thrusts become more erratic. It's too much.

You can’t focus. Can’t think—

The both of you moan in synchronized pleasure as you spasm around him, squeezing his length as the both of you reach your climax. His hands return to your waist, firmly holding you down so that you can take all of him as he releases inside of you.

You weakly collapse against his chest as you fall into his warm embrace, your head fuzzy as he places a soft kiss against your forehead. His hands are gentle as he pushes the stray locks of damp hair away from your face, lightly tucking them behind your ear as he mumbles heated praises against your lips.

It's quiet as the both of you come down from your highs, getting your breaths under control in the intimate space the two of you have blissfully created.

“My name is Stan. My actual name, for real this time.” A handsome smile curves against his attractive features, an overwhelming warmth coiling around your stomach at the soft expression and his low voice.

“Stan…” You smirk as your mouth sounds out his name, something to finally go with the face that you’ve been pining after for these past few months.

Your hands blindly reach into your apron, Stan watching as your hands tremble when you slowly unwrap a lollipop. Sticking it past your swollen lips, your tongue wraps around it before you pull it back out with a loud pop! sounding between you.

Pressing a kiss against the hard shell of the candy, you smirk against the flavored-crystal before placing it into the ravenette's willing one.

“Ready for round two?”

#south park #south park x reader #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh #south park fanfiction #lalawrites

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nalyra-dreaming · 1 year

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Don't wanna start the drama but it's Loumand's stans making ship wars all the time over here. I've seen a girl antagonizing Sam and Assad all the time .. her last take was Sam's height and she saying that Assad must look taller than him 😴. I mean, these people are utterly toxic and can't handle the facts. They're expecting for a prince charming Armand, a cutie pie. The amount of delusion is bizarre.

Sorry to bother you.

No bother.

I cannot comment on that because I haven't seen it, as said earlier, I barely leave my writing and ask box and dash^^.

But this has "trickled up" again because of the podcast comment (from that one expert) and I agree with some of the added on comments, it wasn't particular helpful that they deigned Armand so much more fitting for Louis...

We are all (not excluding myself here!) not used to dealing with this kind of meta level. I think we're slowly learning to take a step back and look at things differently, but it's... this is not a normal show.

It may seem so on first look, first watch... but it's not.

(This maybe sounds stupid, but...)

I'm probably older than quite a few of you. I saw the movie in the theater. And QotD, too^^. I thought the Chronicles would end with Memnoch for quite a while.

Context is everything in this show. No, I do not recognize all of the context, that is a friggin' group effort :)))

But as with the movies referenced, or the books referenced, or the music... or the plays... you have to have heard them, seen them, read them, watched them, or at least heard/read of them to clock in on the meta level.

Age does provide some advantages there I think, through sheer amount of time and other stuff experienced.

If you're 20 now you just cannot have seen the movie in the theater then. And you probably didn't watch that old movie "The Graduate". Or the old movie "The Stepford Wives". Or saw "A streetcar named desire". For example. (There was a very cool version with Gillian Anderson up for streaming a while back!)

This is in no way meant as condescending or trying to remove any kind of expertise from any of you(!). But... The Graduate was even before my time^^... why would the majority of today's audience know it - you know? And that goes for almost all the references.

So. As I've said, I don't blame them for thinking Loumand is good for each other, or missing out on some clues. But having had my share of ... err... asks... some (not all!) seem to be unwilling to accept that there is more to it.

But... in the end... there's nothing we can do about that. Life - aka the show - will come at them fast enough. *shrugs*

#Anonymous #asks #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #louis de pointe du lac #armand #loumand #ask nalyra

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mineonmain · 8 months

Text

9 People You'd Like To Know More

Thanks for tagging me lovely @incandescentflower 💛

Last song: I may or may not have had I Need Love by DKB on a loop for the past few days. Sorry for listening to good music ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

youtube

Currently watching:

Jun and Jun (i have so many issues with this show, the top one being it's so boring!! I'm living for the Mr. Heart cameos and that's it rn i'm so sorry to all the girlies enjoying it. big fat nothing sandwich for me)

Hidden Agenda (a little slow on the 'plot' so far but i'm obsessed with joongdunk joongdunk-ing all over the place so i'm fucking living. no comment)

Minato's Laundromat 2 (just waiting for it to end so i can see how it ends. will we get any major character development? will we officially have 2 couples?? will minato stop being allergic to physical contact?? tune in next week!)

I Feel You Linger In The Air (just saw ep one the other day and it's looking SO FUCKING GOOD, if y'all aren't watching it you absolutely have to)

About to start:

idk. i'll have to see what's coming up and see if it looks interesting. Might tune in to the Korean Why R U remake just to see how bad it is lmaooo

Just finished:

Sing My Crush (underrated and not hyped up enough!! Nothing groundbreaking but a grand time, for a change it doesn't have a lot of the usual tropes and that's really refreshing!

Currently reading:

Not actively in the middle of a book bc I just finished one, but i'm starting the Good Omens book next.

Current obsession:

I don't know if I have a specific obsession over any one particular thing at the moment, but maybe it's ZB1 (or as I like to call them, Bepler)?? I've been following their journey since day 0 (stan our fruity king Jiwoong) and it's just been so much fun. I'm also following a whole bunch of the trainees who didn't officially debut with the group, hearing a lot of news of them debuting now too (and that too with a lot of their fellow trainees too - i haven't seen another survival show that was this popular that this many trainees have debuted together - you have the upcoming jellyfish ent team, haruto's new group, the redstart ent group, wumuti and jay and jongwoo are busy promoting, and wang zihao's just debuted)

uhhhh who can i tag. my usual girlies i guess @whatisgodtoanonbeliever @liyazaki @onstoryladders @webetterlove @respectthepetty @rythyme @antisocial-burrito @disasterbabygirlnick @dribs-and-drabbles @bisexualhedgehog @vegaspetesupremicy (that's not 9 yes i know, i am not jared 19)

#tag game #9 people you want to know better #lmaooo this is peak procrastination

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

Text

Last night, I decided to again look up a mystery that I got into during the summer. It was a subset of a larger mystery, the larger one got answered quite substantially but the subset did not.

Here’s what I have so far: I first found this video in the summer, when I decided to dedicate a week to figuring out what the fuck the Chocolate Milk Gang meant. I kept seeing it referred to as the name for a group of comedians from the 00s, and I got that they were grouped together because they were friends and appeared in each other’s shows at times, and I got that the name had something to do with them being seen as the nerdier side of things and chocolate milk being not the coolest drink in the world, but it really got to me that I kept finding little references that just said “Chocolate Milk Gang” like that’s a thing, and would not explain it to me. I eventually ended up finding the answer in David O’Doherty’s episode of the Comedian’s Comedian podcast – it’s because they got chocolate milkshakes together while everyone else was drinking alcohol after late shows at Edinburgh. Thank you, DO’D, that’s all I needed anyone to say.

But there was a while when I did not know this, and that while happened to occur while I did not have much going on at work and was experiencing some insomnia symptoms, so this seemed like a good time to fall hard down a rabbit hole of trying to figure stuff out. It was after an entire day spent going all A Beautiful Mind on the mystery – Googling different combinations of phrases and following all the links in one article like a rigorous student reading all the citations in one journal for an academic paper, getting distracted by little collections of videos of old stand-up nights that I happened to come across along the way, digging up increasingly obscure archived material. I enjoyed the process. That process is what started the hobby I have now, of just going through videos of old comedy festivals in general.

This particular video was one I found at 2 AM, after spending all day and all night up until then deep in the rabbit holes. I kept finding increasingly strange and obscure stuff, until I finally hit upon this one, and realized it was time to go to bed. I made a post at the time that joked that I had clearly already gone to bed and was having a fever dream, because this video does not fucking exist. Come on, this didn’t happen. But I think what I actually believed was that it seemed so weird to me because it was 2 AM and I had been sleep deprived lately and had spent so much time frying my brain with this mystery, and I’d look at it again in the morning and understand what was going on. Well I looked again in the morning, and… I mean you tell me if this makes any sense at any time of day:

youtube

So that became the sub-mystery: what the actual fuck are they doing? Not that I object. I sort of think comedy may have peaked on the night of August 26, 2003, and everything anyone has done since then is just trying to live up to that. I’m not sure this can be equaled. It might even be a little like the current storyline in the Night Vale podcast, which is about how the beauty’s in the unknown and the surreal, and explaining a mystery ruins it. Maybe that would be the case with this. But I want to know anyway.

I spent some time on this mystery a few months ago, and then moved on with life. But it came back to me last night, because I’ve finally got back to coaching practices (after contracting COVID at one and being too anxious about going there again for some time, preferring instead to bury myself in this sort of bullshit, videos like this might imitate fever dreams but can’t literally cause them), and last night at practice, Lose Yourself came on. I immediately started giggling and humming “I can’t see at all” under my breath, in honour of the time Adam Hills forgot what Eminem song he’d been singing in the middle of a sequence, and went from Lose Yourself to Stan. Last week, Adam Hills began the 26th season of the popular Channel 4 show he’s been hosting for ten years, and during that opening episode, he showed off his recently received MBE. But to me, he remains first and foremost the guy who switched Eminem songs while rapping about Daniel Kitson, David O’Doherty, Demitri Martin, and John Oliver taking apart a cow. Just like to me, Lose Yourself is now first and foremost the song that played while that occurred, even though it comes on somewhat often at my actual sports practices and tournaments, because this Britcom thing that was supposed to just be a distraction during lockdowns has invaded my real life.

Anyway. This made me decide to revisit the mystery. Here's a recap of what I already knew. This occurred on August 26, the last night of the 2003 Edinburgh Festival. At first, I thought the cow must have been on stage every night, because you also see it in this video, posted by the same channel (a channel that I assume is run by the Gilded Balloon, the venue in Edinburgh where this occurred):

youtube

However, I have since learned that both of those videos are from the same night. I learned that because I found another video, posted by a different person, that’s a montage of events from August 26. It includes both another angle on the cow destroying, and the beginning of the Kitson vs. DO’D rap battle that ended with the video above. I remain fucking amazed that this one exists, that the night when comedy peaked has been captured twice in forms that can be found on the internet nearly twenty years later.

By the way, I’m being… like, 90% facetious, maybe? About the whole comedy peaking with that night thing. And that might seem like a high number, but for a claim like that, anything below 100 is pretty bold. Like I am joking but I also genuinely think about all the different aspects that came together in this, a cumulation of things from before and an influence on what came after, that’s a hell of a lot of the good aspects of comedy in one spot. Anyway, here’s the second video:

youtube

In this, we see that the cow was there all night, and importantly, that early in the night, Daniel Kitson was on it and was playing the crowd about it. Pointing out that they kept challenging him to do unimpressive things, like jump off it. This suggests that the cow was not there every night, as if it were, the crowd would not be that excited about it by the final night. It was clearly a novelty to them. Also, I know it wasn’t there every night because I’ve found this montage from the same show on August 19, 2003, about a week earlier:

youtube

As you can see, no cow in that one. So I’m guessing it was only there on the last night, that’s why the crowd made such a big deal about it. From this, I formed a theory a while ago that maybe the idea to end the show that way came from what you see at the beginning of the August 26 montage. That video shows Kitson complaining that the crowd was giving him insufficiently difficult cow-related challenges – it’s possible that after the video cut off, the crowd challenged him to take the thing apart, and he went with it, making that the end to the night.

The issue is that I’m not sure whether they could do that, if they hadn’t planned it beforehand. I suppose whether you can do that depends on what the hell the cow was. After a comment I got on here from a helpful person, followed by a bit of my own Googling, I think the answer is it was an art installations, possibly as part of the international Cow Parade. The flaw in this theory is that the cow parade was not in Edinburgh in 2003, but it was in London in 2002, and I remember reading something that said the remaining I cannot find again that said the cows may have been distributed around the UK after the London festival ended. I don’t know why I can’t find it again, but I’m almost sure I’ve seen something that said that. So that cow could have been left over from the previous year’s London Cow Parade, sent to Edinburgh to spread art or some shit.

The other flaw in that theory is that the cow says “Metro” on it, which doesn’t seem like what one would expect in an art instillation. A YouTube comment on one of the videos from that night says: “I was there too! One of the funniest comedic nights ever. The Metro cow got smashed in two and crowd surfed over everyone out the back door....” That commenter said “the Metro cow”, not “a cow that said Metro on it”, in a way that suggests other people at the time, who were familiar with the Edinburgh Festival, would know what the Metro cow was. So maybe it was just a piece of advertising for Metro, a cow with that word on it moving around the festival. Maybe it was a leftover piece of art from the London Cow Parade that Metro had painted with its logo to display throughout the Edinburgh Festival, and actually, destroying it at the end of the festival was the Chocolate Milk Gang’s way of protesting against art being turned into advertisement (I’m definitely joking about that being a possibility but that would be awesome if it were the case).

My best guess is that it moved around the Edinburgh Festival throughout August, and was at the Gilded Balloon for the last night. This would explain why the crowd was excited about it and why the YouTube commenter called it “the Metro cow” - it was a sort of festival mascot that everyone knew about. But on the night in question, it was still an exciting novelty to see it in that particular location, which is why they were shouting at Daniel Kitson to do things with it. The question is whether it was moved to the Gilded Balloon and then they decided to take it apart, or whether it was moved to the Gilded Balloon because they decided to end the festival by having the Late ‘n’ Live people take apart the de facto mascot.

The origins of the cow matter (I mean... as much as any of this matters, which is quite a lot and I won’t hear otherwise) because how important it is tells us whether they could just decide, between the beginning and the end of a show, to destroy it. I’m thinking that whether it’s an advertisement owned by Metro, or some piece of art, they wouldn’t be allowed to just take it apart without permission. So they probably planned it beforehand, which means the whole thing did not just come from Daniel Kitson agreeing to a challenge from the audience. On the other hand, it’s my understanding that “anything can happen” is the point of the Late ‘n’ Live thing, and maybe that cow was only meant to be there for the festival and they were going to get rid of it anyway after that festival ended, so it wasn’t a big deal to decide to actually take it apart on the final night.

Beyond this, I can look to the video itself for clues as to what the fuck was going on. At the beginning, Adam Hills says they have “three chances”, which suggests it was some sort of challenge, whether one issued by the audience at the beginning of the night or one planned out beforehand. I’m also not sure how they measure those chances, since it’s not like they took only three shots at it. They just went at the cow until it came apart.

One guess is maybe the three chances are John Oliver, David O’Doherty, and Demitri Martin. Maybe the challenge was to see if only three people could get the cow apart. The flaw in that theory is that Kitson ends up jumping in to help, so if those were the parametres then they failed the task. But Kitson jumps in after he sees that they’re getting nowhere, after he gives up on joining Adam’s comedic narration and just starts giving instructions (“combine the chisel and the hammer”), clearly realizing that if they don’t start using a better system, they’ll be there all night. He may just have worked out that parametres be dammed, if he didn’t actually get in and help they would never be able to finish this fucking show and go get their chocolate milkshakes.

Evidence that this was not planned beforehand seems to occur at 1:28, when someone walks in from off stage and hands John Oliver a pipe. If they had planned this better, they’d have all come in with tools, instead of John just going at it with his bare hands and feet until he was given a weapon that looks like it was recently scrounged from a dumpster.

There is this line of Adam Hills’ song (which are a couple of words I can’t write without thinking of Tim Minchin, but that’s a separate thing): “There was a fire at the Gilded Balloon. The police found no one else was to blame. If this season doesn’t go well, this fucking venue’s going up in flames.” This is at true story. In December 2002, about eight months before this video was recorded, there was a huge fire in that area, doing significant damage to the Gilded Balloon, which is the venue where this took place. The Gilded Balloon was rebuilt, obviously, because they still needed a place to host rap battles and cow destroying challenges. But it had, in fact, recently gone up in flames. And I think Adam Hills was implying that if they didn’t make enough money from that year’s festival they’d have to burn it down again, but I’m not quite sure, and I don’t think he was either, he wasn’t even sure what Eminem song he was singing.

But here’s the thing I only learned while looking this up yesterday. Look at this article:

On this day 2002: Cowgate fire devastates Edinburgh's Old Town

I’ve checked, and Cowgate seems to be the name of the street and/or neighbourhood. The Gilded Balloon itself is not on Cowgate Street, but there is a street right next to it called Cowgate street, and I think the whole area around that street is called Cowgate. This is probably a coincidence, but it’s definitely a fun coincidence, given that "Cowgate” would be a pretty good name for the events of that first video. It turns out that Cowgate actually took place in an area called Cowgate. And it’s possible that somewhere along the chain of events, that’s not a coincidence. Maybe Metro advertised there with a cow because it’s Cowgate.

A few months ago when I first found this, I briefly wondered if there was another connection, in one way or another. Maybe they destroyed a cow because they were called the Chocolate Milk Gang and they thought that would be funny, or maybe they named themselves the Chocolate Milk Gang because they’d destroyed a cow together. I formed that theory before finding the actual answer to the CMG’s name meaning, and now that I have found that, I’m quite sure that their milk based name + participation in Cowgate is just a coincidence. Cowgate occurring in a place called Cowgate is probably a coincidence too, but it’s one that I like.

I think that’s all I have, at the moment, in terms of explaining what the fuck they were doing on that night. I do like I found the detail about it taking place in Cowgate, though, because I am absolutely going to refer to that event as Cowgate from now on. Please let me know if you have any information about the events of August 26, 2003, at the Gilded Balloon in Edinburgh, Scotland, also known as Cowgate.

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