#Making me look like a fraud all because most of my music listening is with my CDs.

[nosferatufaggot]

Here Mutuals. No asks games, just me exposing myself. I don't have Spotify, and there is no algorithm to my CD listenings, but here is what YouTube has to say about how much music I listen to.

click for better quality? I don't know. Bully me if you want. Just don't leave me with 0 notes. T_T

#YT said I have listened to FIVE My Chemical Romance songs. Okay buddy. That's definitely true. #I have only listened to five MCR songs this year. #It also said I've listened to around 1400 something minutes of music. Which is laughable. #Making me look like a fraud all because most of my music listening is with my CDs. #brains #Sentiments of a vampire.

[batterygarden]

aot relationship hcs

Ft. Eren, Armin and Mikasa

Sfw but no minors on my page pls, these are miscellaneous and sillly.. I wrote them in a haze after my melatonin kicked in yesterday…like 1 or 2 suggestive ones in there

Eren

He plays basketball (he’s rlly good 😔) and if you come visit him on the court he dribbles the ball around you rlly aggressively like “try n block me!” and you just stare at him straight faced because he is exhausting

He is simply the most DRAMATIC man alive. Like if you don’t give him endless attention, hold his hand, climb on him, act borderline obsessed with him… he might explode. If you go 24 hours without playing with his hair he is wearing all black and mourning your lost love… cause you must just not care about him anymore!

He’s also kinda a neat freak… another opportunity for his dramatics. If you leave a dirty dish in the sink for more than half an hour he is turning up in a hazmat suit like baby…. i can’t handle how dirty the kitchen is rn. (He’ll do the dish for you)

Casual shoplifter even though he can truly afford all the things he steals

He probably commits tax fraud too

Bad driver but over confident as hell. Driving almost 50 in a residential like STOP :/

Also… hello mr oral fixation. He’s constantly got a necklace in his teeth or something… and that’s all fine and good till you find YOUR OWN PERSONAL BELONGINGS in your boyfriends mouth god. Like give me back my nice pilot G2 pen you animal >:(

Takes rlly long showers and uses up all the hot water AND your fancy conditioner. He is definitely one of those product stealer men…

He also borrows ur claw hair clips and never gives them back 😔

Randomly pretends to beat up the air in front of you u like put ‘em up!! And you’re never sure how to react. Like you’re standing there doing the dishes and he assumes fighting stance and starts punching ghosts till you give him attention.

Armin

Accidentally rolls his eyes ALL the time. Like he doesn’t even mean to his face is just automatically sassy when he disagrees w something. But he’s self aware. Sometimes he’ll do it and you’ll pause mid-sentence then he’ll catch himself like WAIT SORRY. I didn’t mean to do that. 😔

Makes you dandelion chains without you having to ask.. or puts dandelions and other wildflowers on you all the time… in your hair, in your pocket, in the little holes where your shoelaces go.

he’ll just fiddle w your things absentmindedly CONSTANTLY… he’s simply a fidgety guy!

Like you’re sitting in the grass talking to him and he’s nodding along like Mhm Mhm… while he repeatedly zips and unzips your bag… rolling up and unrolling the straps etc.

but sometimes the thing he is fidgeting with is YOU. Your hands are a favorite… especially your rings and any jewelry you may wear 😮‍💨 this man is having a field day spinning the metal around your fingers.

He’ll sometimes over explain things/accidentally go into extreme detail and you’ll tease him for mansplaining. But a lot of the time he’ll the OPPOSITE of mansplain things and use words way too big / poorly dumb down the most CONVOLUTED subjects and you’re like slow down there mr graduated college early 😔 .. say that again as if I were a 5 year old please

His sport of choice is… wait for it… track. Yeah this man’s a runner… occasionally a hurdler… he’s got stamina.. have u seen those CALVES when he’s the colassal ! Major swoon

Pretentious as hell ab the music he listens to. Gatekeeps even…. NO PUBLIC PLAYLISTS.

He gets bad anxiety the night before work and stuff… also picks apart social interactions after they happen… generalized anxiety disorder king!

He’s a gossip of course…. Literally will give you a million looks mid social gathering that say “we’ll dissect this later”

Does weird only child things every day without realizing

Like arranging the Tupperware a specific and less efficient way than you and getting mad when you don’t put yours away like he wants it

Or getting annoyed when you don’t burn his candles a very specific way that apparently is “more efficient” 🙁

He also NEEDS alone/recharge time… social stuff can get exhausting to him!

Mikasa <3

Good w cars… best with cars out of the three hands down… she’s your personal mechanic 🥺

She’s also miss quiet road rage over here.. she seems calm and collected but she is cursing the entire lineage of the minivan driver that just cut her off in traffic.

Eats up some reality tv… and is embarrassed about it 😔 she asks you not to tell people she’s rewatching season 10 of the bachelor rn

Aggressive as hell to ucky men in bars / clubs… or just in general

Like “back the fuck off before I beat your ass” kind of aggressive… very protective of you and any woman ever in these type of situations

& she has the skill to back up her talk!! This woman is a martial artist/ full time gym rat… she is *strong*. You need not worry about your safety no matter the situation when you’re with her.

Her critical nature towards men nicely contrasts how much she LOVES bimbos lmao. Extremely forgiving and patient towards bimbos… she’ll explain things to you so so gently.

She’s somewhat shy with direct flirting before you’re official… kinda nervous to ruin whatever dynamic you two had going on to begin with.. but once your feelings are out in the air this woman is getting a medal for her direct communication skills.

“I need you to hold me really tight right now, I’m feeling kind of anxious.”

“I want you to kiss me please! Need to feel your pretty lips”

“If we were alone right now I would have you fully ***** and ********* *** ** ** ****** ****.”

perpetually cold hands.. and she warms them by sticking them in YOUR shirt or even occasionally your pants. Just sticking em in there and then staring at you like she’s doing nothing wrong … staring at you like you’re NOT getting goosebumps on your ass cheeks rn

Once she gets comfortable, Mikasa is CONSTANTLY TEASING YOU RIGHT WHERE IT HURTS.

like it starts light, creating a little inside joke or two, like making fun of the special way you prepare your sandwiches or how you make the bed.

But then you catch her giggling to herself one day and you’re like aww what’s so funny ^_^ and she says she was thinking about that time you embarrassed yourself in front of her parents 😔

But then sometimes if she’s not in the right mood she’ll get all sassy if you tease her back. All “okay but I didn’t say it like that 😒.” Then she’ll pinch you.

She texts like .. full punctuation and everything. At first you thought she was mad at you every time you got her notifications till you got used to it.

She looks KILLER in turtlenecks it’s ridiculous

#eren x reader #armin x reader #aot x reader #mikasa x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot headcanons #snk x reader #eren yeager x reader #armin arlert x reader #eren fic #armin arlert headcanons #eren yaeger headcanons #mikasa headcanons

[hiro-doodlez]

TUTORIAL/PROCESS ON..Uh… MY ART!!!

Using this recent drawing as reference!

(Blueberror by @loverofpiggies )

OKAY HERE WE GO!

First off, I use procreate, and, surprisingly, NO custom brushes!! Almost all of them are default and you can find just by browsing around. And also, some of the tips are only on procreate, really sorry!! But i bet there are a lot of Ibis, CSP, Ect. equivalents!

BEFORE ART AND.. UHHH STUFF YOURE DOING IN THE BACKGROUND??

Almost ALWAYS when drawing, i have something happening/playing in the background like music, a show/movie that ive watched like a million times (Steven Universe), or maybe even an art stream (jakei my beloved /hj) Honestly anything in the background is nice!

More on that, if you like music, i totally suggest finding mood based playlists that is based on what youre drawing. So if youre drawing just cute fluff then put on something that reflects that!! Does it have any actual effect on the art itself? Probably not!! I just like it a lot LMFAO. You can even find tons of character related playlists on spotify you can listen to!

Also suggest having maybe a small art station somewhere! I personally have a small art area that i set up LITERALLY 2 DAYS AGO and i LOVE IT. Anywhere really works, it can literally be your bed!! I just really like the idea of somewhere dedicated to my hobbies, im a nerd :D

ALSO MAKE SURE TO STAY HYDRATED

I also suggest, especially if you tend to draw for long periods of time, to do hand stretches and stuff. (Above my desk i have a stretching guide thingy by @tizzymcwizzy that i suggest doing before during and after longer sessions)

SKETCHING AND FIRST PART OF THE PROCESS!!

First off, one thing that has always been a huge help has been keeping a sketchbook always to jot down ideas, especially in school when we’re not allowed on any personal electronics. I barely use it now that its summer, but it always has been a huge help keeping one with me almost everywhere i go! Plus, its always a lot of “woah eww” when looking back at old art, its kinda like a little archive!!

BUT THATS NOT WHAT YOURE HERE FOR PROBABLY

The big things youre thinking about when sketching down your ideas is NOT making it perfect. The sketch 99% of the time will look absolutely terrible and thats okay, and honestly preferred! Most of the time nobody will even see it, so dont worry about trying to make it look polished. Youre just trying to put the idea on the canvas, thats all youre focused on! Try to stay loose and simple!

BACKGROUND (sometimes)

Fun fact: I usually go from sketch to background to lineart!

I do this for 2 main reasons: firstly, because doing the background can help establish the mood, and also mainly to help pick the colors later on! Although, a lot of the time i dont even do this lol, only for drawing where theres actually a background (im a fraud)

Also, for backgrounds, especially for things like landscapes, you want to try to work with big shapes to refined details, never just tiny sections at a time!

Heres the original background:

LINEART

Cry. Cry until theres no tomorrow and hope that you make something worthy of looking at /j

OKAY ACTUALLY, HERES WHAT I TEND TO KEEP IN MIND:

Keep most lines in one big stroke, not many tiny ones

On digital, erasing is super easy, feel feee to over shoot your lines and erase back over

For things with more emphasis, make bolder lines, for example, the eyes or hands

If the lineart just isnt working out, feel free to literally just refine the sketch until it looks like lineart (I DO THIS A LOT)

Cry

Thats all I’ve figured out, lineart is still a mystery to me..

BASIC COLORING!! (Yayy coloring the best part)

First what i do when putting down basic colors is just try to figure out what would be the best general colors, sometimes you can use those little dots on character sheets and use that to figure out what colors would look best together

Youre not going for perfect and youre just jotting down the colors, keep it messy n stuff, no refined details allowed!

After you finish putting down the colors, your new bestfriend in procreate (idk about other equivalents) is the curves, color balance, and hue saturation and brightness function (found in the second dot on the top row). These let you adjust the colors very easily!! I love them a lot!!!

BASIC SHADING

(Sometimes)

Now, a lot of the time i use the basic Multiply layer method, where i just use a dark purple and set the layer to multiply, but recently ive been doing it a BIITTT differently

Basically, take the base color from the previous step and increase the saturation, and decrease brightness, like this:

And then, lower the opacity of the brush down to MAYYYBEEE 5%, take that new color that you have, and take the… hue?? Maybe?? Like, blue green purple ect, but keep saturation and brightness mostly the same. Then, layer layer layer with those different colors, or dont! Use funky colors and shading in places where they shouldnt be, make it crazy!! Dont let it make sense!! There are no set rules for this part AT ALL!! Youre just having fun now! >:)

I totally suggest looking at @yo-honne s art for coloring inspiration. I base mine off theirs A LOT.

TEXTURING N STUFF!

Pro tip for this: spiderverse.

OKAY BUT ACTUALLY the spiderverse movies style is INCREDIBLE, i highly suggest just staring at it and taking mental notes on practically everything

For texturing, i tend to go kinda crazy. I like to use the grid and decimals brushes for shading and lighting respectively on procreate

For this part, you can use mostly random colors, and there are literally no rules!! Youre SUPPOSED to make it look crazy!! No rules man! Put it in random places and HAVE FUN! Go fast and try not to think much about what youre doing!! Dont use the right colors EVER!

FINAL DETAILS AND TOUCHUPS

At this part, you marry procreate.

Overlay layers are your best friend, experiment with them A LOT because that REALLY help making your art pop! Especially with overlay gradients

On procreate, theres a thing called chromatic aberration, that can make colors look blurred and glitchy, use that with errored characters! Or dont!

Use halftones feature!!! It really help!! If you wanna do lighting, you can use an airbrush brush and then use the halftones feature, or just use the decimals brush!!

For lighting try to use layers like screen or add! Or dont, make it random colors for lighting! Go and have fun!

On a new layer, set it to something like vivid light, hard light, ect. And use very vibrant colors to go over lines and areas you feel need more emphasis in the artwork!! Especially if, like in this one, the characters colors are so dark you can barely see the lines

Mess with random brushes in your app and use those to your advantage!

Work fast and try not to stress! Take breaks and take care of yourself!

FINAL NOTES

I can not stress enough, EXPERIMENT!! Try to put random elements of art and stepping out of your comfort zone as much as you can! Have fun and go random! (I think thats my new catchphrase)

Reference things if you want to try something new. For a while i thought references really only meant for weird poses, but it can be for anything!! For this one, i literally looked up spider punk spiderverse and used that as reference, and for the background (before i put filters on) i referenced samdoesarts!

If you feel like messing with colors, make the background something random and try to make the character look… well with the background?? Kinda hard to explain lolol

This is a general guide for my art, and i hardly ever even follow it myself. I fluctuate with my art a ton, taking outisde influences to put into the art and never staying with the same thing every time. My art process is wild and random and very much confusing even to me, and i like it that way!

This whole thing ive developed mostly on my own, and by taking tons of inspiration from other art i found appealing! So some of it might literally be wrong!! SORRYY

Would like to note ive never made ANYTHING like this so… sorry if it sucks!!

(((( @overthinkingintrovert-blue ))))

#THIS TOOK SO LONG #undertale au #undertale #utmv #blueberror sans #art tutorial #RAHHH

[theresawritesstuff]

Guess Who's Coming to Yom Kippur

(Also available on Ao3)

It was a beautiful afternoon. Cloudy, but beautiful. Autumn leaves rustled musically past the half open stage door across the pavement. It was the kind of afternoon built for walks in the park, warm beverages, and cozy sweaters.

And, being that it was one of the few days off she'd managed to get off work for the high holidays, Midge was determined to make the most of it.

Just as soon as she got out of this damn club office.

"Any time today, Boise," Midge prompted, impatiently hovering at the corner of the stage manager's desk.

"Just keeping the books in check. Want to make sure I don't short change you and all that. You know Susie would take any excuse to have my head as a door knocker," Boise replied evenly, unperturbed.

He glanced up from his leger book briefly. "Where is Susie by the way? She's usually the muscle for you on payday."

"Visiting her sister. Taking a long weekend. They've been reconnecting a bit since their mom passed. Based on a small bit of conversation I overheard they may have committed insurance fraud together…"

Boise nodded, half listening as he thumbed through another stack of bills. "Family bonding. That's nice."

"Can we be sentimental and count at the same time?" Midge wondered. "I'm off the clock and want to see my kids sometime between now and them graduating from college."

Boise waved a hand at her, making a note in his leger. "Yeah, yeah keep your skirt on…"

Midge smirked despite her mood. "Now there's a phrase you don't hear around here much."

Boise ignored her.

Several silent, painfully slow seconds passed by as he stacked the bills neatly on the desk in little rows in front of himself.

"Can I help you with that or something?" Midge offered. Standing still like this was beginning to remind her why she'd let these shoes drift out of the rotation for so long.

"Almost finished," he assured her.

She let out a sigh, looking around the cramped back office.

"Have the walls always been this weird yellow?"

"Yep."

Midge grimaced, mentally redecorating. "Just not used to seeing this place in daylight." 

"Remind me again what's this holiday of yours  that is so important you made me come in early so you could skip out on work."

She shot him a look she usually reserved for Ethan when he was being stubborn. "I made you come in early because it's pay day and if you want me to keep coming back, which you do, you have to pay me. And since you refused to pay me yesterday–"

"Because yesterday was Thursday and pay days are on Friday," Boise reminded her.

"Yes and this particular Friday is also part of my previously agreed upon time off. Wrote it down for you and everything, but here we are…" Midge countered.

After a beat she added a bit more patiently, "And it's Yom Kippur. The day of Atonement. It's sort of a fresh start for the new year."

"Gotcha. You do know tomorrow is October and not January?" Boise checked the desk calendar pointedly, just to be sure.

Midge shrugged. "Different calendar. Different new year."

"Right." He nodded, licking his thumb before flipping the page of his notebook. "Kind of like how Easter moves around?"

God help her if she didn't get out of this office soon.

"...Sure. Except we just fast intensely for a day instead of eating fish on Fridays for a month or whatever. Keeps it efficient."

Boise smiled to himself as he put her pay into a plain white envelope. "I remember my Ma used to say hotdogs were still okay during Lent when we were kids."

"I'll have to ask the pope for his take next time we do brunch. And now that we've compared notes on religious customs…"

"Yeah, yeah here it is." He handed her the envelope unceremoniously, waving her off. "Go see your snot-nosed kids or whatever."

Now that she'd worked with him for a while, she'd learned when her stage manager's brusqueness was meant as an endearment. Or as close as he got to one.

Midge gave him a friendlier smile, feeling more at ease with her money in hand. Now she could pay her dry cleaner enough to get back a few more of her favorite dresses they'd been holding hostage. "Thanks Boise. I like this plant you added. It's a nice touch."

He smiled proudly, fingering the edge of the little pottery dish on his desk. "Cute, right? The lady at the shop called it a succulent."

The phone rang just then as she slipped the envelope into her purse.

"Yeah?" Boise answered.

Honestly, this man wouldn't have lasted a day in etiquette school.

His expression turned wary as he listened to the person on the other end. "Yeah…"

He looked at her as he listened again before replying, "Hang on."

Holding out the receiver, he informed her, "It's for you."

"For me?" Midge blinked, gathering her purse further up her arm.

"Says his name's Joe? You know what, I'm not your secretary. Just…here." Boise plopped the entire body of the phone into her hands from on the desk, wires dangling. "Be quick and go enjoy your weekend or whatever. I'm going to go check the coffee so I don't have to hear about it later."

"You're a doll, Boise, you know that?" she called after him as he made an effort to skulk off.

"Nope!" came his reply from around the corner.

Midge shook her head then yelled as an afterthought, "Don't forget to knock!"

The sound of exaggerated knocking soon followed.

Midge smirked as she tucked the phone to her ear, setting the cradle back on the desk.  

"Hello?" she answered curiously.

"Midge?" Her ex-husband's voice met her from the other end of the line.

"Joel? How'd you get this number?"

"The information on one of your matchbooks that you left at the club a few weeks ago and a very bored and helpful operator. Who's the charmer?" he replied in typical Joel fashion.

"Stage manager. I'm just here to pick up my pay for this past week before I get back to the kids. Promised Ethan we'd play candy land with real candy. Sort of a last hurrah before sundown just me and them."

Joel sighed in the way he usually did when he had bad news. "About that…"

"Uh-oh. What's up?"

"Zelda's sick."

"But Zelda never gets sick."

She could tell he was shrugging without seeing him. "Well, Ma says she's sick. She dropped off some groceries for tomorrow's break fast, apologized in stuffed up polish and left. It doesn't sound like it's anything too contagious so we don't need to worry about the kids puking or nothing but she's out of commission for tomorrow."

The reality of the meal preparations without Zelda and her team to run them this late in the game began to set in.

"Oh. Oh no…"

"Yeah," Joel agreed. "So Ma called your folks in a tizzy and then called me to tell me to tell you that your parents and the kids are coming out to Queens to help salvage things and that they'll bring the kids to temple in the morning so the kids don't get to bed too late."

Midge stood there dumbfounded and a little deflated. She'd been looking forward to a quiet night with the kids before the hectic storm that was inevitably the Maisel-Weissman holidays. 

She cleared her throat, processing. "Wow. Okay… That's… Our mother's are co-hosting Yom Kippur?"

Joel chuckled. "Don't say it like that. But…yeah."

"Do they want my help?"

"Ma was very adamant they did not need your help. She said to wish you good luck with being funny tonight though, so…good luck. I think she thought you were still working tonight."

"Gee thanks," Midge deadpanned.

She knew Shirley meant well but the sentiment still made her feel lousy.

"Gonna be another hell of a Yom Kippur," Joel commiserated.

"They say disasters come in threes…" Midge looked up at the water stained ceiling. 

Hopefully that was just water…

"At least the Rabbi isn't coming this year."

"Ma said the Queens Rabbi might stop by," Joel replied. 

"The Queen has a rabbi? Does he get a fun James Bond code name too?" she quipped in an effort to fight her mood.

"Midge." Joel said, reigning her back in.

"Yeah?"

"I'm bringing Mei tomorrow. To meet the family."

Another blow to knock the wind out of her sails.

"Oh…"

She didn't know what else to say. Sure she'd been trying to get Joel to open up about his current relationship status to his parents. She just didn't expect it to be at Yom Kippur. With the kids. And her parents. And possibly the Rabbi. Given not their Rabbi but a rabbi…

Joel continued, uneasy. "It's time and…I don't know, I just thought everyone is more likely to be on their best behavior, you know?"

"You have met our parents, haven't you?"

"She's excited to try kugel," Joel told her softly.

Midge took a deep breath. "...Wow. Okay. That's…That's great, Joel. Really. Mei seems like a nice person. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better."

Joel let out a small sigh of relief. "I'm glad to hear it. She's smart like you, you know. I think you two will get along. Maybe too well…"

"No backing out now. You promised her kugel," Midge reminded him.

Joel chuckled. "Yeah, if our mothers don't kill each other trying to get it on the table first."

"Thanks for letting me know."

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Midge hung up the phone, letting her gloved hand rest on the receiver pensively.

She and Joel were done romantically. It wasn't about that. In the grand scheme of things she was happy for him.

But something about hearing him say he's bringing his girlfriend to meet the family–to meet their kids–on the anniversary of the night he'd left her still stung.

A soft knock on the door brought her back to the present.

"I gotta say, your practice is paying off B– Lenny?"

Lenny lounged against the doorframe in his classic suit and tie, smiling easily at her. 

"They better not be having you run the phones in this joint now too," he scolded lightheartedly.

Midge blinked, getting over the surprise.

It had been a month, maybe, since she'd seen him last. He'd been insufferable, pelting her from the audience during her set with whatever crumpled bits of paper he could find. Trying to get a rise out of her under the guise of being helpful.

It was good to see him.

Remembering herself, she waved a dismissive hand towards the desk. "Wha–No that was just Joel updating me on the kids' whereabouts and the…incoming implosion of chaos that has become our typical high holiday gatherings." She let the last part out in one big exhale as she came to greet him. "You do know the club isn't even technically open yet."

Lenny smirked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, no, but I know where the door guy keeps the spare key so he doesn't lock himself out during his smoke break, so I thought I'd pop by while I was in the neighborhood, try on a boa or two then drop you a note to call me after your set was finished."

She quirked a brow up at him, now standing beside him in the doorway.  "I didn't know you could use a phone. You usually just manifest when my back is turned."

"I did send you flowers once," Lenny reminded her.

Midge nodded. "The flowers were lovely."

"I considered sending a messenger pigeon to spice things up this time but I didn't want to chance that it might shit on your shoes,"

"These are cute shoes," she agreed.

"And the florists around here manhandle the chrysanthemums…" he informed her in mock earnesty.

Midge smiled, enjoying the patter of his tangent.

"Hence the intended calling card in your cubby or whatever they give you for your various personal accoutrements," he reasoned. "But, luckily, seeing as you're here, I can save the stationary…"

She nodded sagely. "Very fortunate, really. The stationary here is mainly cocktail napkins and ninety percent of the pens are either dead, dying, or cosmetics." 

"And tell you my big news face to face," he finished, amusement glimmering in his eyes.

"And that would be?" she wondered.

He looked at her coyly, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels to sit on his secret a moment longer, drawing out the suspense. "I just booked Carnegie Hall."

Midge felt her jaw hang open. "Carnegie Hall?!" 

"Carnegie Hall," he repeated, grinning proudly, hands outstretched for showmanship. "Midnight show. Tickets are already flying according to my manager, who may or may not be full of shit but I digress because I booked fucking Carnegie Hall!"

"Lenny, that's fantastic!" Midge couldn't help but throw herself around his neck in an ecstatic hug. 

She let out a laugh as she felt his arms wind around her waist in return, her feet leaving the floor momentarily. "Congratulations."

"And in the spirit of celebrating my latest success as a big shot," he said as he lowered her back down. "I was hoping I could take you to dinner."

"Dinner?"

"Or a drink," he offered, hands up as if to say no pressure. "Whatever you had time for. A quick toast to my comedic greatness. Your speeches are much more compelling than my usual crew's, you can imagine. Nice fellas, but not a wordsmith in the bunch. I'm in town for the next several weeks, promoting the gig and all, so you can name the day."

Midge smiled, adjusting her bag, and glancing at the old clock in the wall. "I'm free right now if you are."

"Right now?" he asked, hopeful.

"As long as you're paying and it's not on this block, Mr. Big Shot," she replied.

Lenny tilted his head, considering her with a sort of quiet fondness.

"Thank you," he told her sincerely.

He offered her his arm to usher her out of the doorway. "Shall we?"

"Hey Lenny." 

Lenny looked up to see a few of the dancers coming in through the back door for their preshow rehearsal, fish net stockinged legs poking out from beneath their peacoats. 

"How's it going, Lenny? New suit?"

"Nice tie, Leonard. Sticking around for the show?"

Midge pressed her lips together, controlling her amusement as she watched him turn from them to her and back again in boyish confusion.

"'fraid not," he replied, his eyes settling on hers. 

He gave her a sheepish grin and a shrug. "I know them from Hebrew school."

"Of course," Midge nodded, playing along and patting his arm.

They stepped out onto the back ally side street, Lenny helping her down the steps in a gentlemanly fashion. 

The air smelt sweet with the promise of rain, a welcome reprieve from the usual dumpster odors.

"So what are you in the mood for?"

She considered her options as Lenny hailed them a cab on the main road.

She could suggest something quick. A dive bar they both enjoyed… That seemed to be where they usually ended up.

Or somewhere nicer since they were celebrating and he was paying. Although the nicer places on a Friday night with no reservations would take longer. And she'd be fasting at sundown. And she'd had a light lunch…

God, she was in for another insane Yom Kippur tomorrow…

He held the door open for her, waiting for her answer. 

And suddenly she didn't care how long it took. 

"Somewhere with wine."

Lenny chuckled. "Wine it is."

Addressing cab driver he said, "You heard her, take us somewhere where they've got wine. The good stuff."

Turning back to her, he asked, "Do you want food?"

Midge smiled, sliding into the back of the cab. "Food would be nice."

"And also food if you can swing it. Please and thank you." Lenny slid in beside her, leaning forward to slip their driver an extra tip for motivation.

"Do you always have your cabbies pick your restaurant?" she asked him.

Lenny sat back in the seat next to her, slinging his arm across the back casually as he turned to her in mock seriousness. "I will have you know cab drivers know the best restaurants. No more honest a review than the moods of the people who just came out of a joint. These guys know the real stories the food critics in the paper won't tell you."

Midge couldn't help but laugh. "Okay."

"Anywhere in particular, miss?" the cab driver asked, eyeing the two of them in the mirror.

Lenny watched her expectantly.

"Oh what the hell," she exhaled, "driver's choice!"

#midge x lenny #midgelenny #tmmm fanfic #marvelous mrs maisel #the marvelous mrs. maisel #Theresa writes stuff

[withtheoldstars]

Hi, hope your days going well, mines been kinda boring but new Eras Tour videos should be coming out soon and I'm really hoping she'll sing Getaway Car. Are you keeping up with the tour and if so, what's your favorite song so far/song you're looking forward to the most?

so i have to tell you all now that i'm not really like obsessed with Taylor Swift even tho my fic is title after her music

but let me explain, she is an artist i listen to a lot, however it's just a few songs that i listen all the time for example i think the only song in Midnights that i properly like is The Great War and i listen so much that she is probably going to be in my Spotify Wrapped hahahhaha

i can't really name a song that i would like to see or say that i'm keeping up with the tour because i can't even name a song in the album fearless or speak now. so it's like i obsesse over a few songs but not entire albums and such. am i making sense???? lmaooo

but the era tour is all over my fy page and her outfits are amazing and i would say that my favorite song of hers is The Great War rn and yours??

at the same time that i'm a fraud, she is going to be on my Spotify Wrapped lmao

AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY!!

#letter #don't hate me #thank you for the ask!!!!

[imnotreal-png]

>:) -- Entry 1

OK i just smoked a joint after i wrote the date and now im kinda chillin but imma still yap on dis hoe.

I am a loser. Like a huge loser, okay? Like im not dumb or wtv, i may have reached a weird and insane level of self awareness, but im just as much of a loser as anyone else.

I keep catching myself trying to people please and overstepping my boundaries and justifying it with "oh everyone else does it, so what, its normal" like ok dumb bitch that doesn't make it okay, get a grip.

But i will be yapping away abt alot of stupid bullshit i deal with and stupid things make me sad. I am very well aware that I am irrational, but these are things i feel in those moments that i always hold in because i don't want people 2 see that weak side of me. It's embarrassing and it's not me.

In truth, i have nooo idea what i'm doing. I have 0 clue on where i'll be in the future. I didn't think i'd make it this far and not on some suicidal shit (idk if u can say that word here, oops.), i just genuinely thought that i'd somehow perish?? Like i wasn't really real in some weird way. I just didn't exist. Even though i was always the center of drama or the cause of all things chaotic, i was always misunderstood. god that's so fucking cringe but hear me out.

I always said shit that i believed was clear enough to be understood and yet it wasn't. Even my tone apparently has been rude this entire time. But no one would actually tell me how i come off, they just ate it up in silence and then spaz on me. Even now i don't really understand because i truly believe i am very clear on what im saying. Yet it's still...not seen the way im trying to show it? Idk if im making any sense bruh but whatever. Maybe im narcissistic but no one understands my brain the way i attempt to express it...or i guess how i see it. Idk i guess im just frustrated that no one understands me or gets my brain.

Also it's super cringe when people tell me im mature for my age. Literally eat my shit. actual ick. get away from me.

I hate my mom. She hates me too but she hates me bc I'm not the pussy she wishes she was when she was my age. She's the most childish person i know. I genuinely do not care what she thinks of me whatsoever. She's just power hungry and immature. Actually, I don't even hate her, i just hate that she gets to have all this power over me. I just want my freedom, thats it. She can hate my lifestyle or whatever the fuck, as long as im not living with her. At the end of the day, im truly content with who i am as a person and my moral compass etc, she cant affect that. I just need to have my own space and leave her household to finally be free and actually experience life in a comfortable and more peaceful way. I guess that's all i can say rn. I just wish she would respect my boundaries and stop treating me like im her competition and she'll always be superior. She won't and i cannot wait for the day she finally see's that lol.

!! super irrational moment alert !!

LMAO this is super cringe but like when i started music i put "listen 2 my moozik" in my bio bc we say muzik in albanian but americans wud have 2 read it as moozik to get it right + its funny? Ever since i started rlly getting exposure and performing out there, all these NON SLAVS/BALKANS have started putting it in their bio's 🙄 like be fr, its sooo obvious (at least to me). And now some of these mfs i've interacted w startes stealing my lingo and the way i type [this isn't how i type when i txt friends. its worse and i shorten everything in a miserable way cuz its funny] and it's cute at first but now mfs on social media posting the way i do and talking the way i do. [insert side eye bc yeah] and it's kinda cringe cuz they're actually rlly shallow and mainstream people, they just look like they trying 2 hard to be quirky. lol.

im probably tweakin tho idk.

i wish i grew up with art. i wish my parents had that and were able to introduce it to me. I feel like a fraud when i try to be creative and do things. Even with making music. As much as i enjoy it and love it and it really does make me happy, it feels fake. I can't play any instruments, i can't sing, im far from a good writer, fuck if know anything abt music theory...i literally just click buttons and make sounds on my computer lol. I didn't grow up indulging in art and creativity, i was actually always super bad at it. I wish i had a deeper connection with it. I wish i understood it better. I wish i expressed it better. I wish my ideas were my own. I want to be able to create something that is truly mine without feeling like im a fake.

UHHHH so imma just come on here and vent whenever i feel like i have something i need 2 say. This is intended for the void, if u come across it...cringe.

#vent post #journal #diary entry #advice

[footrocket-blog]

Too Many Harmonies? Never! When I first heard the song "I Only Have Eyes For You", by The Flamingoes, it captivated my attention with its unique melodies and rhythms. Recently, as a music artist myself, I've been enjoying covering some special songs from all different genres. The things that inspire me. And this song is no exception. Having grown up in a household of many different music tastes and preferences, I developed habit of listening to music the way I wanted to hear it. I had no idea at the time, but this habit I would later attribute as a skill when it came to sample chopping and composing music of my own. I hear it the way I want it to sound. That's the best way I can describe what I'm talking about. This is why I don't feel like a fraud when I say, like many people do, that "I love all kinds of music". I mean it. Jazz, Disco, Rock, City Pop, Bossa Nova, House, and Country (yes even Country), are all genres that I've spent extensive time listening to in the car of my own volition. I do apologize to any other genres that I left off the list. You are seen and heard, and I appreciate you all lol. I trust my point was made. When I set out to make my version of this amazing song; I had only to think, "what would this sound like if FootRocket did it"? Having considered many other covers of this song that have come before, including an extremely inspirational one by Tatsuro Yamashita (good luck finding it), I then began the task of recording each vocal part one by one. I say one by one because as a largely solo act, it's easy to just keep going with harmony ideas as none of the parts would be there if I didn't sing them, so what's the trouble of recording one more after already doing 7? It's not like I'm working with a quartet of singers like a traditional group. 34... By the time I finished the mix, I was looking at 34 different layers of vocals that I had recorded for this song. This is why I claim this release of mine to be the most ambitious vocal work that I have ever made to date, but it certainly won't be the last. Thanks a million to all of you who've streamed it already and for the many kind words. I have plans to sing much more in the future.

#music #beats #housemusic #producer #dancemusic #FootRocket #I Only Have Eyes For You #Mixing #Mastering #Spotify

[ripepizza]

Every day I wake up to the same emptiness. My phone buzzes with the same old pop song I put as my alarm when I was 16 that I've now grown to hate but still refuse to change.

I get up, forget to brush my teeth and tie my greasy unwashed hair in a messy ponytail and slap a beige peugeot hat on it lying to myself that it hides how greasy it is. It doesn't.

If it's a good day I go to class, probably grab an energy drink or a coffee at a dollar store somewhere. It's almost always sugar free redbull. Flip through social media's through the whole class mostly alternating between Twitter and Tumblr, and listen to music during the breaks. It doesn't help.

I go home, probably order takeaway. I eat half of it then feel bad about myself and crack a beer open. I always keep a pack of 6 under my desk. It'll most likely be forgotten half empty.

I try to draw but give up halfway because I have no motivation. Then the guilt sets in. Every bad choice I've ever made, every responsibility I have. It's always there, don't get me wrong. But every afternoon after the same exact dance and song it returns ten times stronger. It feels like I can't breathe and just contemplate leaving all of my social medias. Ditching commissioners. Friends. Everything. That would make me a fraud right? I can't do that. Can I? Or is it just should I?

I talk to some online friends. I don't talk about my feelings so they won't feel like they're better for being more emotionally stable. They aren't really good friends.

Now it's 1-2am. Time for bed. But I don't sleep, just scroll through Twitter or tiktok enlessly. Maybe watch the same show again for the 7th time. It's all pointless.

Some time around 5-6am I actually sleep. I have no dreams. They used to be nightmares or a mishmash of fears but now it's just nothing.

And I wake up. And the same cycle starts over again.

The empty void I'm floating in gets louder every day. Am I hearing voices? Or am I just talking to an imaginary crowd. Then why do I feel so alone no matter what? Maybe I just like the loneliness. Maybe I like the dark and cold wrapping around my neck and shoulders. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.

Am I seeing things? I once saw spiders crawling under the walls. I could never get a good look at them. Every time I looked, they scattered.

I sometimes wish I saw them again. Then I'd have an excuse for being a failure. For being so ordinary and sad. Does that make me horrible? I don't know if I care anymore.

I don't remember when things made sense anymore. Or maybe I do? Ages ago staring at the starry sky from an empty field somewhere deep in eastern europe. I can't go back and I know it.

It's all pointless in the end. I can't change the world. I don't really want to. I don't what to do anything. I haven't in a while. I do things out of guilt for everyone around me. Never because I care.

Maybe that's just how it is.

Doesn't make it any easier.

I think I gave up a long time ago. And I'm just waiting for the courage to do it.

I might be horrible for it. But I pray every day it comes sooner.

[gatheringbones]

[“Dad told me the story then about how he’d come home after Mom got him out of the service and how the first thing he’d done was put away all his Marine stuff in a closet, like he was hiding it in shame. Sometimes, when he’d drunk too much, he’d get out his uniform, his dog tags, an old smoke grenade from a training exercise, and turn them over and over in his hands. The way he explained it, there was a hidden John Sexton, and that John Sexton was a coward.

“Your mom didn’t hold it against me,” he said. “She was just happy to have me home. She didn’t want the war, didn’t want her husband in Vietnam getting shot at. But I felt . . . I felt—”

“You felt bad.”

Dad shook his head. “Bad ain’t even the start of it.”

According to Dad, he felt like he’d let everyone down, his wife, his mom, his country, and especially his own father. As a kid he’d always felt weak, like he’d failed as a boy and couldn’t live up to his dad’s expectations, and then, joining the Marines, he thought he’d found the perfect way to put those doubts to rest.

Remembering how afraid he’d gotten as his deployment date crept closer and closer, he said, “I just couldn’t do it. I started having these dreams that I was in the jungle. Just running through trees and grass and swamps, something chasing behind me, something or somebody breathing on my neck. I just couldn’t handle it.”

After he’d come home Dad said he did his best to make the marriage work. But it wasn’t enough. In the back of his mind he was a fraud, a coward who had failed at being a man.

To counteract that feeling, he tried to transform himself into a man more like the one he wanted to be. He taught himself how to fix things around the house, to work on the car, to hunt, and all that developed into a fantasy where he and my mom would move to Alaska and live an old-fashioned, rustic life. Maybe if he built a cabin with his bare hands, if he killed and prepared their food, if he could survive in the snowy tundra, he’d finally prove himself. It was this drive to reinvent himself that destroyed their marriage. Dad was faithful to Mom until he wasn’t, that is, until he had the chance. For years he didn’t stray, and then he met a group of people who lived a little fast. He felt cool for the first time, and these people had no idea who Dad was and what he had done. That clean slate was attractive. He could play a different role around these people. They knew him as John Sexton, the Marine. He could drink too much. Listen to his music too loud. He could be John Sexton, the Outlaw. He could be the John Sexton who hadn’t shied away from the most frightening challenge of his life.

I told him then about my days in Terre Haute and Carbondale, only this time I didn’t just brag about my exploits but admitted I’d felt like a fraud, like I was trying to prove something beyond what I was capable of. Then, without thinking, I told him about my eating disorders. To my surprise, Dad laughed his ass off.

“I’ll tell you something I ain’t told anybody else,” he said. “I did the same fucking thing back in the day. I barely ate anything for days and I’d go run for miles, come home, and swallow down a fistful of Dexatrim. That shit used to be fucking speed, man. That was the most messed-up time of my life. I didn’t know if I was coming or going, I tell you what.”

Dad went off on a rant then talking about men and America and how the two were inextricably linked. This man who’d just years before railed about antiwar protesters being “faggots” and “pussies,” myself included, was ranting on how the country had been founded by aristocratic intellectuals who were so insecure about their masculinity that they pretended to be frontiersmen and farmers. He said the reason we got in so many wars was because we were worried about being emasculated. Referencing George W. Bush, a president he’d quoted and romanticized for years, he said, “Look at that asshole in there now. There’s boys dying left and right in Iraq because Junior wants to one-up his dad. You ask me, a shrink could do a hell of a number on W.” We spent the rest of the drive talking about history and politics and how masculinity had plagued both, essentially ruining everything and making life miserable for everyone. Then, not too far outside of Carbondale, a couple dozen bathroom stops in, he got nostalgic and weepy. After all that loneliness, all that misery, all that pretending to be something he never was, Dad said he wished he could go back in time and talk to himself in basic training and let his younger self know he didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. Then he said no, he’d rather go back even further, back to when he was just a little boy—“when I didn’t know my dick from a hole in the ground,” he said—and tell himself to hold his chin up and not worry about what anyone thought. ’Tween you and me,” he said, “I’ve lost too many years to this shit. I hate what I was, honest to god I do, and getting to talk like this makes me hate it all the more.”]

jared yates sexton, from the man they wanted me to be: toxic masculinity and a crisis of our own making

#jared yates sexton #gender stuff #history stuff #currently reading

[lochsides]

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power Review

Where do I even begin with 'If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power'? It is such a good album, it's almost criminal. If I had to pick the best album to be released this year, IICHLIWP would be it. Halsey has always been an excellent songwriter, that was never even in question, but it has been proved once again, in case anyone wasn't paying attention. IICHLIWP is an album that covers so much depth in sound and in lyric. The dichotomy of the Madonna and the Whore, as they said in their announcement of the album, is an overarching theme of IICHLIWP and it is articulated so consummately. The references to pregnancies and childbirth are more subtle than I expected but that's what makes them so genius. This is an album where every lyric is intentional.

My favourite songs are ‘The Tradition’, 'Bells in Santa Fe', '1121' and 'Ya'aburnee'. More detailed thoughts on each track are below the cut. Trigger warnings for sexual assault and miscarriages.

The Tradition — This is the first song on the album and Halsey had already fucked me up so there's that. I got full-body chills listening to 'The Tradition'. The production is masterful. There is this darkness that settles in early and ebbs and flows beautifully, not only throughout the song but the album as a whole. 'The Tradition' already sets up so many of themes of this album, but what a way to talk about sexual assault. I am in love with the entire chorus line but I think my favourite lyric is ‘she got the life she wanted but now all she does is cry.’

Bells in Santa Fe — The transition from 'The Tradition' into 'Bells in Santa Fe' was so smooth I didn't even notice that the songs had changed until I looked at my screen. I don't think I could actually describe how much I adore this song if I took up the rest of my life doing so. The production is absolutely God-tier. Everything from the way it keeps building throughout the song to the percussion to the piano on the second chorus and the distortion towards the end is so perfectly done. You will never hear me rave about production this much. What a fucking song! On top of all that, you have the lyrics that are so powerful. When they said 'cause who the fuck would chose this?' it reminded me of my favourite Manicsong, 'Forever... is a long' where they sing 'how could somebody ever love me?' so that stood out to me. I love the cadence on 'secondhand thread in a secondhand bed with a second man's head' but the lyric 'better off dead so I reckon I'm headed to Hell instead' is probably the one that hits the hardest. My escapist, runaway tendencies felt very exposed by the entirety of the pre-chorus.

Easier than Lying — The way she emotes on ‘you lair, you don’t love me’ is fucking everything. I needed to start with that. It’s my favourite aspect of the whole song. And then there is that obvious callback in the bridge. ‘Easier than Lying’ is the punk sound we were promised of IICHLIWP and they delivered. The Grungy electric guitar, the bass, the production!!! This one goes hard and it makes no apologies of it’s anger.

Lilith — ‘I’m disruptive, I’ve been corrupted, and by now I don’t need a fucking introduction.’ I mean what could I possibly say after that??! Honestly, I love the duality of how this line could be about Halsey but it could also be about Lilith, herself. There is a selfishness to 'Lilith' that I love. When you connect that to the mythology of Lilith preying on pregnant women and the context of this album — it's just got so many layers. Halsey's mind!! I love the sound of this song. The production has a classic rock flare to it. Those drums are so clean and the bass accompanies it perfectly. The smoothness of their vocal on this track is very pleasing to listen to.

Girl is a Gun — I'm not going to lie, this song isn't for me. I get it. The message is right up my street but the overall sound of it just isn't what I personally like. I do love their little laugh at the start! The lyric 'it's a shot in the dark, I'm not a walk in the park, I come loaded with the safety switched off' is my favourite.

You asked for this — This song is really interesting because they gave us a pop punk sound, pushed it to the back of the track, really grungey guitar riffs and all, but their voice is so light and delicate almost, very airy in a way that stands apart from the backing track. I really like it. To me, it's like an emphasis of the message of 'You asked for this'. Young women are oftentimes forced to grow up too soon and 'be a big girl.' Society forgets, I would even say purposely overlooks, that they are 'still somebody's daughter,' one of the few things that is used to give value to a woman. We've all heard people throw the phrase "but what if it was your daughter/sister?" into the conversation when discussing women that have somehow been abused by the patriarchy. 'You asked for this' also calls attention to how when we're younger, all we want is to be grown up but how unaware we can be of what it means to be a woman in this world, the trauma that comes with it.

Darling — The guitar in this song and it’s almost-country sound are what sets this song apart from the rest of the album. ‘Darling’ is a lullaby for their child, but it tells a story of their struggles. It is honest in a way that feels private. Motherhood sounds so good on them!! This song is just a collection of things I love in music. 'Darling' is soothing and it sounds like comfort, in both melody and lyric. 'Foolish men have tried but only you have shown me how to love being alive' is perhaps the softest lyric on the whole album.

1121 — I expelled a heavy sigh when I heard ‘1121’ it absolutely took my breath away*.* This song is a truly moving ode to an unborn child. So many people talk about how they had never known what unconditional love really meant until they had a child. Halsey tells it as such: ‘you could have my heart and I would break it for you.’ I love their vocal styling on this song so much, going between their lower register and those beautiful falsettos in the chorus. The overlapping on the bridge of ‘please don’t leave, don’t leave me in the shape you left me’ and ‘I’m running out of time to tell you, I’m running out of things that I regret’ and ‘you’d never, you told me’ really capture all the wide array of emotions felt by pregnant person upon finding out they are pregnant when they’ve dealt with miscarriage. Her voice emotes the fear of losing another child, the regret of the ones she's already lost, the promise, almost desperate, of the opportunity they have right now. All of these feelings are brought to life further by the production of the song. There is so much depth in '1121'.

honey — Pop punk wlw anthem check. Halsey suits this sound so much. This track, the production, the instrumentation, all of it catered to their voice so perfectly. The sound is so refreshing and yet so classic. I adore the melody. It’s unsuspectingly catchy. I wonder if there are links to ‘Lilith’ with ‘she’s mean and she’s mine’ or if I’m just reaching. Either way, a song about a love that is a little chaotic and wild, sign me up!

Whispers — Whispering on a song called 'Whispers' might be obvious but I'm a basic bitch so leave me alone, I loved it. Lyrically, 'Whispers' was the song that I saw myself in the most. When she said 'camouflage so I can feed the lie that I'm composed,' I just felt far too exposed for comfort. Same thing with 'I do not know me.' And that's what art is supposed to do. The instrumental is haunting and dark. The way they create tension by adding in one instrument at a time. The production is amazing. Top 5 shit right here!

I am not a woman, I'm a god — Not only does this song have the catchiest hook, it’s literally ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god. I am not a martyr, I’m a problem. I am not a legend, I’m a fraud so keep your heart ‘cause I already got one.’ That hook right there tells you everything you need to know about this song. ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god’ acknowledges that one needs not be a woman to create life. They are claiming power to their gender identity through relation to Godliness. Even in the other lyrics, they talk about being ‘a different human in a new place’ or ‘a better human with a new name’ (this line in particular draws direct parallels to trans experiences). Both times, they specifically use ‘human.’ The production of this song is designed to be a single. It’s got the signature darkness of this album, tells the listener where Halsey is at sonically, and it’s a total banger.

The Lighthouse — The way this song just comes in swinging right away with the distortion and the heavy guitars is exactly what I expected from this album going into it for the first time. Very modern punk rock. And the lyric doesn't pull any punches either. 'From a tender age I was cursed with rage,' like c'mon!! I love the melody and her vocal inflations throughout the song. This is the longest song on the album but it doesn't drag. The change up right before the outro really helps with that. I find that outro so interesting. The contrast between the instrumental constantly building but their voices staying so far in the back on the track creates so much tension that is relieved in the best way possible with 'Ya'aburnee'.

Ya'aburnee — ‘Ya’aburnee’ is the perfect conclusion to this album. Halsey said in their Apple Music interview that IICHLIWP is about the power to choose and by the end of the album you realise that they choose love. This song perfectly embodies that. It’s familial. The entire chorus talks of seeing yourself in your kin and the circle of life. The second verse is a clear love letter to their partner and it makes me emotional, knowing their romantic history as we do, to hear them sing ‘wrap me in a wedding ring.’ I love how the lyric ‘you will bury me before I bury you’ is not only a statement of their hopes that they don’t have to live in a world without their loved ones, a statement of how parents should never have to bury their children, but it almost sounds like a protective promise that they will do anything to ensure their loved ones are kept from harm so as not to need burial. The softness of the instrumental on ‘Ya’aburnee’ is feels like unwinding from the rest of the record. It’s such a beautiful song.

#halsey #if i can't have love i want power #iichliwp #reviews #music #i finally did it guys

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🗣Tues 15 Dec ‘20🙊

Anyone order their daily with EXTRA DISCOURSE today? Lucky you, I guess, I'd send it back to the kitchen if I had the option but this is more a 'you'll take what you get and like it' kind of establishment so here we are! EAT UP we got Liam and Lou Teasdale making everyone mad, Louis and Harry's teams forgetting they're supposed to be mortal enemies, and Zayn?? Getting papped?? Omg is Z3 really coming this time? I've been burned so many times before (flown too close to the sun) but what if....... So first Gigi and zaby stroller were papped, then Zayn was papped in his usual way-- 'if you can get a good picture of me in the seconds it takes me to walk from my front door to the car have at it, that's exactly all you get'-- and then a fan reported seeing Zigi and zaby at a pizza restaurant. Zayn's hair is bleached white blond and that's about all I can tell you except that Z NEVER gets papped (or spotted really) for nothing so I am excite!!

Liam's back! He did the postponed-from-last-Tues hour long live for Stand Up To Cancer (and raised $16k!) and he's got a show in two days so I'd say his extremely brief breather is probably done with, whether he got the time he needed to be happy about coming back or not. He seems in good shape for the live though, even if he does say “its been a really long day, you don't even know, REALLY long” and that what he wants most for Christmas is “to have a little bit of time to reflect.” But he says he is going to take some time out and go away and write music “for the first time in a very long time,” in the new year, nice! He mentions how he went up to Sweden for recording recently and says it ”went really well I'm really really excited” about the new music and, uhhh, “got something sent through from Mick Fleetwood while I was over in Sweden writing, some guitar stuff, which was amazing, and he was dressed like santa at the time!” I...what??? I'll just... leave that there?? About other bands, he says that he's become a big fan of the Wanted over time, that “someone Zayn-ed out,” of Little Mix but “Zayn left for pretty much the same reasons and I do feel for them,” and “are 5SOS still together? Did they pull an us I thought they pulled an us?” He said yes, it's so great about Louis' show, and “it was great, and do you know what, like listening through those lyrics, it’s really nice to hear the truth in his music because obviously I mean I know all of the full story about him, and [pause].. and uh... his relationship with his girlfriend and whatever else,” SKLDYSSKKJ.

This long live also had him responding to screen comments he would usually ignore (though thank GOD he only reads but doesn't answer 'what happened with Niall in Japan' please tell me the questioner wasn't trying to get him to comment on the 'violently masturbating' story), anyway so we got Liam on touching his hair if larry is real-- “of course that's not going to happen don't be silly,” and on whether he thinks 'larry is disrespectful' “sometimes I do... actually that's not true, all the time I do.” Well he's not wrong though I'd expand that to 'all the fans' but if I had to wade through a million “touch your nose if larry is real” comments every time I was promoting my own material, for ten years, I'd probably get tetchy too! He didn't say it was or wasn't real, as he himself pointed out he never WILL do that for REASONS; tbh I'm with Liam can people PLEASE stop being so embarrassing on main and let him live? ANYWAY, moving on, his Advent Alarm clock today is the sleep story edited down to be just Liam laughing for like 30 seconds, aka the exact edit that I suggested they should make a couple weeks ago, which I find frankly extremely alarming (ALARMing HA) are they... listening to me?? Well if Liam's management are looking for ideas BOY HAVE I GOT SOME FOR THEM hit me up fellas PLEASE.

Harry and Louis both announced further postponements of their UK and Europe tour shows, like really the same announcement and just fully back to back, I can only assume that after weeks of intensive hashing out to match up dates their teams have arrived at some kind of plan and were like cool let's announce! Louis has added some new shows, while Harry's new schedule is undisclosed as yet. Harry says “I really hope to play these shows and will have news for you in the new year on when they will take place.” Louis' new dates include previously omitted countries (Iceland! Austria!), and those tickets go on sale Friday. Harry did not respond to Rob Sheffield's awkward attempt to link Watermelon Sugar and WAP as being similar but he did like Megan Thee Stallion's post celebrating her successful year, and Vulture ranked Adore You in its top 5 videos of the year with a much better take on what Harry is all about, saying that it “highlights one of the singer’s best traits: his willingness to be delightfully weird.” Kid Harpoon said that he and Harry “wrote a song in Japan that may yet see the light of the day,” and Harry continues to roast him, disputing his songwriter of the year award-- “they found 8,000,000 opposing ballots in a bin behind his house! FRAUD!”

And last but most discourse-y-est of all, The Sun made waves today, pulling the most salacious parts of a Lou Teasdale interview with the Sex, Lies and DM Slides podcast from last week and bringing it to wider attention. In the interview she talked at length about systemic discrimination against women working in the music industry and her own work experiences, which naturally include (very briefly) touching on her highest profile job- the years she spent traveling with 1D. In this context she says “you kind of can’t sleep with them [the band]- it’s quite important to keeping your job... some people would come in and like you know assistants and stuff and I think they would really think... that it was love and obviously it’s not,” and “it’s just the quickest way to lose your job- because then they’ve got a new girlfriend and she’s there and they don’t want you in the room.” She did not sell her story to The Sun she mentioned this in passing as part of an interview about her work experiences; she herself says, “I didn’t do an interview [with] the sun. I’ve never done that. I did a podcast with friends about loads of things.”

There is nothing remotely unlikely in this story, either in the concept that members of the band slept with girls casually (we know that certain of them did and there isn't even anything wrong with that in a situation of consent, the denial of it is as bizarre as scribbling out the beer bottle in a 28 year old man's hand), or that low level members (“assistants and stuff”) of the 150 person+ crew appeared and disappeared on a regular basis. The band were, to my guess, probably simply not paying very much attention to the serious ramifications of this carelessness and the consequences rather than demanding that people be fired, but I do very much hope they've learned over the years to be responsible for the kind of power that they have over other peoples' lives (something I really doubt they understood the extent of yet as very young people being dragged from one place to another who felt powerless themselves).

#liam payne #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn #lou teasdale #listen: people talk about wanting the 1D tell all but I don't think you guys do want it at all tbh #you know the whole point of that is that it will destroy the 'perfect angels' front that was created around the boys? #loving and supporting someone even though you know they are imperfect and flawed is not something to be ashamed of though #so I say bring it on #Liam has SO MANY reasons to be cranky right now and coming back online to everyone clamoring for him to comment #on Louis' record breaking veeps stream... honestly think it through?? have some fucking tact #Liam also said Freddie and Bear facetime which is just such clear nonsense I have no comment he just wants to make people happy #I DON'T KNOW if the Mick Fleetwood thing is real like – he seems dead serious??? I think it's serious? #How fucking Liam is that right he is as ever the most unrealistic I'm bringing back that tag: #Liam is a Gary Sue #Zaayyyyn is Z3 coming??? listen may I suggest sir-- LIVEZTREAM??? PLEASE? #I know you won't tour and wouldn't want you to but just consider how PERFECT this would be?? PLEASE SIR #lost in the shuffle: Lou Teasdale also addressed the old quote about keeping the 1D boys from looking 'too feminine' #(assumed to be @harry) saying 'it’s taken totally out of context. A clip from male grooming interview talking about grooming men. #I have no problem with men wearing make up or looking feminine it’s my profession. I apologise it sounds like that here.' #I feel like the truth is somewhere in between but I very much doubt she- the MUA- had final say over their images #and might well have not been the only thing standing between harry and his nail art and eyebrow grooming #I don't like her but like- dislike her for better reasons! #There are plenty she's very annoying but talking about sexism in the workplace and telling her story isn't one of them #Liam said he was very drunk watching Louis' show #I have a lot of things I'd like to say to Liam's management but mostly not publicly and some of them very rude #but I will say that while I guess the acknowledgement that young girls are the real drivers of the music industry and should be courted is #cool the continued obsession with only marketing these guys to that demographic was always ridiculous #and gets worse every year and Liam's team is simply throwing away money and fans by not marketing him so hard (heh) to out gay men #long post

[mystic-shadows42]

Heart of Fire

Based on this request:

Pairing: Ubbe x reader

Warnings: None

Ubbe watched boats arrive at Kattegat with curiosity. He was the only one out of the brothers to still be there after Lagertha raided and usurped his mother. Surprisingly, Lagertha showed her mercy so now Aslaug was long gone.

It still made Ubbe bitter. The whole event dragged their family name into the dirt. People would talk but still respected Ragnar. Though nobody was fooled by his sons. The people thought they wouldn’t live up to their father’s name and would give in just like their mother.

Ubbe felt that this whole matter was because of Lagertha. She was everywhere and if she wasn’t there then her name would be. He felt that if Lagertha wasn’t so corrupt with power then their names would still be respected.

There was always conflict between the two. Ubbe never gives her the time of day. He was always a jerk to her while she’d just be irritated with him in general. 

There were even talks of there being a rally against Lagertha.

A rally on Aslaug’s behalf. Ubbe wasn’t sure what he’d do just yet. Right now, he was just scouting and weighing his options. Fighting against Lagertha seemed promising to him even though she allowed him to stay in Kattegat.

She was wary of him, that’s why there were always scouts watching him. He didn’t know why he continued to stay. He just felt that he needed to for some odd reason.

He watched Lagertha welcoming her allies then he saw a woman emerge. Lagertha embraced her quickly and looked her over, all the while smiling.

Then it dawned on Ubbe that the mysterious woman must be Lagertha’s daughter. The daughter that nobody really knew of. She was beautiful and had a demanding presence. Before Ubbe could even think of what he was doing, he was already making his way towards you.

He would wait just out of sight until Lagertha left.

**

You on the other hand caught sight of a particularly handsome man hiding. He wasn’t hiding very well but just enough to not be seen by your mother.

It must be the man your mother warned you about. One of the sons of Ragnar that she couldn’t quite figure out if he was a friend or foe, Ubbe.

Strangely enough, as your mother talked to you, your eyes would glance over to him every once in a while. For the first time in your life, you weren’t listening to what your mother was saying.

You found yourself wanting her to leave so you could talk to him. It was the strangest feeling yet a welcomed one.

When your mother finally left your presence, Ubbe stepped out and lifted his brows at you. He looked you over in great eagerness.

“I thought you a myth. The daughter of shieldmaiden Lagertha standing just before me.”

“I thought you a fraud. The son of Ragnar and Aslaug, blessed with looks and skilled with a sword.”

Ubbe continued to move towards you slowly.

“No doubt about it. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His eyes were the bluest you’ve ever seen and they were looking at you. The sight was enough to make you speechless. This was your mother’s supposed enemy and you were ogling him just as he was to you. 

You cleared your throat which was enough for Ubbe to change the subject. “So, what brings you to Kattegat?”

“My mother. She sent for me because she is unsure of you as well as your brothers.”

“You’re basically telling me that you could possibly be here to kill me.”

“Exactly, so watch your back,” you said amusingly. You stepped around him and started to head towards the great hall where everyone was gathering. The only thought going through your head was that some distance would do you good.

Ubbe couldn’t help but smile. He should feel threatened and on high alert, but he wasn’t. He wanted to know more. He was quick to turn around and jog up beside you.

“Lagertha’s probably told you all she knows about me, but I don’t know anything about you.”

“Maybe I like it like that.”

Ubbe nodded in understanding. He thought that was fair. Everyone seemed to know about him and his family, but that was just the surface of it all.

“Fine, I’ll tell you something about me personally rather than someone else feeding you false information. I don’t like fighting as much as my brothers. Someday I want to leave Kattegat and start farming to have a better life for my people.”

You were impressed. “You’re different than what I imagined.”

“Is that so bad? Did Lagertha taint your idea of me?”

“She doesn’t speak ill of you. She admires you but I think some of her isn’t finished with Ragnar, so she takes some of her bitterness out on you. I actually think you two could actually get along if you put your egos aside.”

“Friends with Lagertha. What would my mother think, better yet my brothers?”

“Do their opinions really matter?”

“They’re my brothers. Do you care what Lagertha thinks?”

“She’s my mother,” you replied in the same playful tone as he did. Ubbe simply smiled back.

“Perhaps Lagertha sent you here to coax me. Maybe even seduce me.” He mentioned as his eyes widened playfully.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “You would like that wouldn’t you, but If I was trying to seduce you then you’d know.”

There was a peaceful silence between you both. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face. Your exchange with Ubbe was far different than what you expected. Your mother had said he was stubborn and stuck up, but he didn’t seem like that at all.

“What about you? Do you crave power like Lagertha?”

“No. Having too much power is dangerous.”

“I understand. Being king changed my father. I suppose that’s one of the reasons I don’t like your mother.”

You were quite surprised by how open he was to express his feelings about your mother to you. “She tries to do what’s best for everyone. She’s not perfect but she does what has to be done.”

After your conversation with Ubbe, you excused yourself. It was eerie just how much you were starting to like him. The best thing to do is to distance yourself from him until he isn’t a threat to your mother.

So that’s exactly what you did. You purposefully stayed on the opposite side of the room, away from Ubbe. 

You smiled watching the crowd of people having a good time. Your mother snuck beside you with her eyes only on one person.

“Why does Ubbe stare at you?”

You looked around then saw Ubbe. He smirked under your mother’s scrutinizing gaze. You slightly tilted your head as a hint for him not to stare. All he did was hold up his cup in the air towards you both.

It took all of your being not to laugh because you know your mother would be infuriated at the notion. He did it as a way to mock her.

“Ubbe’s eyes wander over everybody mother. There’s no need to worry.”

“I worry because I know the ways of men. I’m not blind, I saw you two earlier. Just be sure not to fall for him like I did with Ragnar.” You sighed deeply not wanting to hear any of this now. Everyone was having a good time but your mother was still on high alert. “I just don’t want to see you get your heartbroken over someone who doesn’t deserve it.”

“Trust me mother, my heart belongs to no one but me.”

“It’s just that... Ubbe doesn’t smile and he smiles at you every time.” 

You grabbed your mother’s arms and looked into her eyes. “Mother, please try to relax. There’s no need to worry. There’s no fight, so stop looking for one. Just enjoy today.”

The big gathering of troops made everyone feel joyous and want to celebrate. People were playing music and dancing. You clapped your hands as couples got up and danced around in circles with their partners.

A man outstretched his hand to you to dance. You accepted before there could be any hints of doubt in your mind. You danced with the man and looked over to Ubbe to see him already looking at you.

Ubbe took a swig of his drink and stood up heading towards you. Once the man you were dancing with saw Ubbe he dismissed himself to find another partner to dance with.

“I didn’t peg you as a dancer.”

“You never asked.”

You didn’t know how long you were dancing with Ubbe for but time didn’t seem of the essence at the moment. Everything with Ubbe seemed timeless and easy.

Though when the thought of your mother came to mind, that changed. She didn’t trust Ubbe and she definitely wouldn’t like seeing you with him right now.

You dropped your hands from Ubbe’s. He got closer to you to see what was wrong but he stopped when you looked at him. “I better get settled in for the night.”

He cleared his throat and took a step back. “Right. Well goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Ubbe.”

Ubbe watched you leave fighting the urge to walk with you. When he looked back into the crowd, he saw Lagertha giving him an unamused look. He sighed loudly and knew he wasn’t going to hear the end of it.

He was making his way out of the crowd knowing Lagertha would likely follow. Of course, she caught up and tugged on his arm.

“I want you to listen to what I have to say Ubbe.”

Ubbe exhaled loudly trying not to become irritated after such a good day which was rare for him.

“By all means, go on,” he said sarcastically as Lagertha stood in front of him to block his path.

“I want you to distance yourself from my daughter.”

Ubbe began to chuckle making Lagertha become aggravated.

“I can’t do that Lagertha. I know how much your daughter means to you but you’re going to have to let her make decisions for herself. If that includes being around me, then so be it.”

“You’re a mirror image of my ex-husband, your father. You remind me a lot of him. You have his ambitions but you also have his flaws.”

“The flaws are all you see in me Lagertha. The difference between me and my father is that I won’t abandon my responsibilities. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I trust your daughter a lot more than you.”

“You’ve only just met her yet you speak as if you two are more than just friends. Let me remind you that you’re married Ubbe. So is she.”

Ubbe narrowed his brows. “You lie.”

“I may not like you Ubbe but I would never lie.” Lagertha circled Ubbe as he was deep in thought. “It seems that my daughter may not have been completely honest with you but you shouldn’t be angry with her. You have a wife of your own or have you forgotten? Now go on with your life and quit trying to get with my daughter to spite me.”

“Have you not been listening?! I’m not trying to get close to your daughter to make you angry. It’s genuine with her. I felt it the moment I saw her. So did she though she might be a bit prideful to admit it.”

Lagertha didn’t like it one bit. She willed herself not to reach for her weapon. So she gritted her teeth and would only leave him a warning.

“Keep your distance.”

Tagged: @belovedcherry @lordsexmachine​ @lol-haha-joke​ @mariaenchanted​ @ethereallysimple​ @bababasti​ @ir-abelas-telanadas​

#Ubbe #Ubbe Lothbrok #Ubbe ragnarsson #Ubbe x reader #Ubbe imagine #vikings #Vikings fanfiction

[ravennm84]

Lyre Festival Fraud

This was another prompt that I found and just ran with it. The prompt itself was based on the Fyre Festival Disaster that happened in 2017 where 5,000 people were scammed out of thousands of dollars per ticket for what was supposed to be a luxury music festival. I didn’t take the story to quite that scale since most middle schoolers don’t have that kind of cash. There will be a sequel to this coming out soon. Warm-Fuzzies and please enjoy!!

Over the past few weeks since Marinette had come back to class, she couldn’t help but notice that Lila seemed to be up to something new. For one, the Italian girl hadn’t been bothering her as much as before. There was still the occasional quip and barb thrown in her direction, but nothing compared to what she had been doing before. She wanted to write it off to the deal Adrien had made with the girl, the blonde had confessed the truth to her after the photoshoot and promised her that he would never let things get that out of hand ever again. But something just didn’t seem right.

Lila was sticking to a single story about a party that she was planning on an island south of Venice over the long weekend next month. She was going on and on about it being a private island, with beautiful scenery and a rich history. Her mother was setting it up for a bunch of politicians, and all of the celebrities Lila knew were coming. A five-star chef would be there to make everyone the most amazing food. Many of the musicians she knew were planning to do jam-sessions, so there would be live music. The way she described it, it was going to be the biggest private event that Lila had ever been involved with.

Marinette and Adrien kept keen ears pointed in her direction, more than they normally would. Something about this particular story seemed different from her usual lies. It didn’t sit well with either of them

They could admit, the Italian was smoother with this lie than she was with any other she had spouted since joining their class. She had started mentioning the party a little here and there, then the different celebrities, then the hotel and bringing in the chef. How expensive it all was and how her mother was planning everything. Then, the following week, Lila dropped a bomb that had almost the entire class squealing and scrambling.

“You won’t believe it! Mama said that I could invite all my friends to come to the party so I’ll have more people my age to talk to!” Lila gushed as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.

“Seriously! That’s awesome, girl!” Alya cheered excitedly.

“But I have to be up front with all of you about something, and I want you to know that if I had my way I would never ask, but my mom insisted.” Lila’s expression quickly turned uncertain as she looked around at her ‘friends’ before taking a breath and continuing. “Whoever wants to come, has to take care of their own travel and pay €300 up front for the food and accommodations. I really wish I didn’t have to say that, but there was nothing I could do to change her mind.”

“That’s completely understandable, dudette.” Nino grinned as she slung his arm around Alya’s shoulders. “But still, for two nights in a swanky hotel and all our meals handled, that’s a total steal. When would you need the money?”

Lila’s face lit up again saying that she would need the money at least a week before the party so her mother could book enough rooms and make sure there would be enough food. Mylene asked if they needed their parents to escort them, and Lila promised to get them the needed forms to travel. She also asked Alya not to post anything about this on her blog, as this was supposed to be a private thing with a lot of big-name people and they couldn’t risk word getting out. The journalist readily agreed but made Lila promise that she would be allowed to post pictures after the weekend was over, which Lila readily agreed.

Marinette and Adrien looked on with worry as their classmates began making plans for the weekend in a few weeks. After class let out for the day, Adrien convinced his body guard that he needed to study with Marinette for an upcoming test. Since the man liked the girl, her parents, and had a soft spot for their bakery’s salted caramel scones; he allowed it. Up in her room, the two teens set their homework aside and jumped on Marinette’s computer to see what was going on with the Italian. 

“What do you think she’s up to?” Adrien asked her.

“Not sure, but it’s strange that she kept saying how I shouldn’t ask for money when I do commissions, then turns around and asks for €300 per person.” She says, looking up private islands near Venice. “I mean, she has to know that she can’t just ask for money from everyone and then not follow through since she would have to give all of their money back.”

“Agreed, she could try and say that the money was non-refundable, but I don’t think they would accept that.”

She hummed in agreement before pulling up a map. “The only private island I can find close by is Isola Santa Christina, but that’s North-East of Venice, not South. And I checked the availability for that weekend, and it’s not reserved. The only island South of Venice that could be considered ‘private’ is Poveglia.”

The blonde’s brow shot up when he heard the name. “Isn’t that the haunted island that’s been closed off to tourists for a long time?”

“Since the 1960s, when the mental asylum closed.” She nodded, as she continued to read. “And before that, it was where they sent people dying of plague and other diseases to die and be buried. It says right here, there’s over 160,000 people buried there in ‘plague pits’ and it’s nearly impossible to walk five meters without walking over someone’s remains.”

Adrien’s lip curled in disgust as he read the information and history of the island over the French-Asian girl’s shoulder. “Well, she did say that the island was private, historic and had a view. And the island does have a lot of history and it’s private.”

“And there was a plan to turn the old asylum into a luxury hotel a few years back, but that fell through.”

They continued reading the different articles on different islands around Venice, but none of them seemed to fit. Adrien agreed that Lila wouldn’t be so sloppy with her lies to invite everyone to a weekend party and then have to give everyone their money back… but what if she never had to see anyone again?

“Do you mind if I look something up really quick?”

“Did you think of something?” She asked while standing from her desk chair so he could take a look.

“It’s just a hunch,” he muttered, his fingers quickly typing at the keys. “I think you’re right, Lila wouldn’t ask for money if she was just going to have to turn around and give it back, even if she used the ‘deposit’ excuse to keep part of it for herself. That can only mean that something else is going on.”

It took a few minutes, but he found what he was looking for on the Italian Embassy’s website and twitter page. Different people wishing Ambassador Rossi a fond goodbye before she transfers back to Italy before the holiday weekend. “She’s not coming back,” he said between gritted teeth while Marinette looked over his shoulder.

“I want to say that I can’t believe Lila would do something like this, but she purposely got me expelled, almost got me akumatized, and almost caused another Scarlet Moth incident. Stealing from people she won’t see again is well within the boundaries of what she can do.”

Adrien turned the chair to look Marinette in the eyes. “What should we do? We tried the high road, that was a mistake and I’m still kicking myself for saying that, but we can’t just sit back and let all of them get scammed for €300.”

“It will be more than that,” worry evident in her voice. “It will be the €300, whatever they have to spend on their tickets there and back, and whatever money they’ll spend on someplace to stay while they’re there, if they stay in Venice.”

“We have to try,” Adrien said, just as determined when he forced Lila to lie to get Marinette back into school. “Maybe if we talk to everyone, one person at a time and explain what we found, we might be able to convince them to look into things a little deeper and figure it out themselves.”

Marinette hesitated. “They didn’t believe me before, why would they believe me now?”

“Because I’ll be with you every step of the way to show them that it’s not just you, I promise.”

~oOo~

Adrien kept his promise, he stayed with Marinette as they pulled their classmates aside to show them what they found. Nathaniel, Juleka, Rose and Chloe seemed to really listen to them and agreed that it seemed a little too good to be true. The others were more hesitant to listen and turned their questions to Lila, who was quick to spin her lies about the comments on Twitter being taken out of context, that her mother’s coworkers were only saying goodbye for the weekend. Then she turned on the fake tears and accused them of spreading rumors and lies when she was just trying to do something nice for her friends. That resulted in the majority of the class shunning Marinette and Adrien for the weeks leading up to the holiday. 

Nearly the entire class gave Lila €300 each before the deadline she had set. Adrien and Marinette had been ‘uninvited’ to the party; Chloe scoffed and said that she wasn’t about to waste her time with a bunch of people she didn’t even like; and Nathaniel, Juleka, and Rose all claimed that they couldn’t afford it. Lila was leaving school a couple days before the weekend to “help her mom prepare for the party” but gave everyone instructions on which dock to meet at for the boat to pick them up and ferry them to the island. 

Friday morning, the two of them tried again, practically pleading with their friends not to go, that it had all been a scam. This was met with a lot of harsh words, insults, and Alya declaring that she could no longer be friends with someone as vindictive and jealous as Marinette. That left the girl in tears, but the four that stayed behind were quick to comfort her and took her back to her house after school for a movie night. After the others left, Marinette sent a quick email, hoping for a positive response.

The movie night was followed by a jam-session on Saturday at Juleka and Luka’s place. It was a blast to have Adrien on the keyboard with Kitty Section again, it was a little difficult without a drummer but it was still fun. When Marinette got home, she was relieved to see a response to her email waiting for her and read it before she went to bed.

They had a picnic in the park on Sunday, along with Marc, where Adrien was having a photoshoot so he could sit and eat with them during his breaks. The photographer liked the natural energy and look of the group so much that he took multiple pictures of the three couples, as Vincent put it. There was another email waiting for her when she got home, she read that one twice and rewrote her response three times before sending it.

On Monday, the six of them hung out at the bakery with Tom showing Marinette’s friends how to make the perfect croissant and the best way to pipe frosting onto cupcakes. They had a blast and ended up having a frosting fight at one point, which ended with a large round of giggles and Adrien striking a victory pose since he had gotten hit with the least amount of frosting. Everyone had a great time and went home with the goodies they’d made. The final response in Marinette’s email put a smile on her face, knowing that she had done the right thing.

~oOo~

Tuesday morning and the five of them weren’t sure what to expect. They had decided to go with a united front and met at the Dupain-Cheng bakery so they would go to school together. Sabine gladly handed all of them fresh pastries before they left and wished them luck. Marinette’s parents had been made aware of Lila’s deceit and how she had likely scammed their classmates out of a lot of money. Hearing this, the two bakers had been making multiple calls to the Board of Governors about their daughter’s expulsion and other incidents that Adrien had brought up that had to do with Lila. From what they had heard, it was likely that their school, M. Damocles, and Mme. Bustier would be under heavy scrutiny very soon.

Entering the classroom, none of them were prepared for the dead silence from the rest of the class. Everyone looked to be experiencing different levels of confusion, anger, and absolute exhaustion. Everyone except Chloe, who looked smug as she grinned at everyone in the room. When the five of them came in, her smile grew as she looked directly at Alya. “So, how was your weekend on that private island in Venice? Was it as fabulous as Lie~la said it would be?”

Mylene, Sabrina, and Kim all started crying; Nino ducked his head to hide behind his hat, Max's head dropped to the desk with a thunk, and Alya’s fists clenched so hard that her nails cut into her palms. But it was Alex that had the most colorful reaction as she slammed her hands on the table and practically screamed.

“Shut up, you blonde shrew! Grrr! I swear, if I ever see that liar again, I will hit her over her head with my skates until she apologizes.” Her eyes turned to Marinette and Adrien, still angry but with a bit of self-loathing. “You were right. We all waited on that dock all day until the police came and took us to the station. We had to spend the night in the police station and wait for our parents to come get us. Alya tried to argue that it was just a private party and even pointed out the island that bitch said it would be on. But no~, that island was closed to the public and has been for 50 years!”

“We tried to tell you,” Adrien said hesitantly when Alix stopped ranting to breathe.

“Dude, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my parents so mad,” Nino said, barely lifting his head to look at his friend. “They’re talking to a lawyer about what they can do, but the law dude said that the most they can do is file charges against Lila for the scam and that none of use are likely to get any of the money back.”

“My parents grounded me until the lawsuit is settled or I pay back all the money they spent on coming to get me,” Ivan told them, his large shoulders drooping almost half-way down his back.

“By my calculations, that is unlikely to happen,” Max said, not even bothering to lift his face from his desk. “When taking into account the amount of money that she took from each of us, that she had us go to Venice of our own accord, the fact that her mother is an ambassador and therefore bestowed Lila with diplomatic immunity for her actions; there is not much the law can do.”

Unable to help herself, Marinette turned to look at Adrien as a small smile graced her lips. Adrien gave her a bigger smile that confused everyone, even Nathaniel, Rose, and Juleka. “You should tell them.”

“Tell us what?” Alya asked, not sure if she could deal with any more surprises for the rest of the school year.

“Well, after Adrien and I figured out what Lila was up to, we recorded one of the times she bragged about the trip and how much money she was getting from you. I emailed the video, your names, the dock where she told you to go, and all the other information to Ambassador Rossi on Friday night to let her know what was going on.” 

All of their jaws dropped as Marinette continued to speak. “I don’t think she believed me at first; but then she got a report about a bunch of unaccompanied minors from her daughter’s school being detained in Venice and that she had apparently allowed them into the country. She was shocked and confused that any of you got through customs without an adult, but then Ambassador Rossi noticed a stack of documents were missing and figured Lila must have taken them and forged her signature to make the scam more believable. I talked to her again last night; she’s forcing Lila to plead guilty to fraud and forgery, any charges that the Italian government was going to file against you are being dropped, and she's clearing out Lila’s savings to pay the money back to your parents.”

Now the entire class was crying tears of joy and relief. They knew that they’d messed up when it came to Marinette and Adrien, Alya especially towards her best friend. But they were more than willing to work their butts off to make it right, no matter how rough the road ahead of them might be. 

#lila salt #class salt #alya salt #ml prompt #ml fic #lila gets exposed

[ditttiii]

Enchanted To Meet You || 5.5 || JK’s Interlude.

Banner by: @thebannershop​

◈ Summary: No one ever told you that you had a soulmate or—soulmates, for that matter. Humans don't have soulmates, but shapeshifters do. What are you supposed to do when the seven members of the worlds biggest boy band turn out to be your soulmates—only for you to realise that they aren't even human

BTS is on a hiatus and ARMY thinks they are completing their mandatory military service. You believe that too, at least you did until you realised that you had adopted them and that one way or another they were gonna live with you—as Hybrids because apparently, you all are soulmates. 

◈ (Hybrid AU // Soulmate AU) (Fluff // humour // smut // angst  // eventually NSFW) (NC-18) (Ot7 x Reader) (slow burn)

◈  series master-list

◈ Word Count: 2051

◈ Warnings: Maybe one curse word? PG-13 (sfw)

You're the debt that brought me back to my life 너는 내 삶에 다시 뜬 햇빚 The Second Coming of My Dreams as a Child 어린 시절 내 꿈들의 재림 I don't know what this feeling is 모르겠어 이 감정이 뭔지 Is this a deceitful dream? 혹시 여기도 꿈 속인건지

Jungkook hates quite a few things in his life at the moment—hates having to hide from his soulmate, hates that he has to pretend like he was just a rabbit and not a living, breathing human too, however more than anything else he hates himself. 

God, he despises himself now more than ever. He had hurt you, made you cry, made you fear your own home. He was supposed to be someone you felt safe with, and yet he almost gave you a heart attack today.

Jungkook at the moment feels like a fraud, a sham as he gazes at you—looks at your peaceful, sleeping face. Small, warm puffs of breath hits his head and he feels his fur move under the soft force. 

‘Tingles’, He thinks.

He feels your warm presence cocoon him as his body heat mingles with yours. Here, curled beside your sleeping figure like this, he can't help but curse himself. His self-loathing at an all-time high, as he thinks back to what had happened a few hours ago. 

He knew it was a possibility, knew that it could happen.

The chance of you coming home suddenly and catching him in his human form wasn't an improbable one.

Jungkook, though, couldn't stand it anymore. It wasn't like he would have died if he hadn't shifted, but being a rabbit all the time wasn't the most comfortable feeling ever either. 

His bones ached, and his muscles were sore because of the prolonged shifted state. 

He also wasn't used to being in his animal form for an extended duration of time. He'd usually shift back after a few hours, and so this wasn't a problem he had been aware of before. 

The feeling of staying shifted for days on end had him feeling claustrophobic. It was the kind of claustrophobia he thinks he would experience if he was locked inside a too tiny box with his limbs wrapped awkwardly and uncomfortably close to his body. 

Suffice to say it wasn't the most comfortable state of being. 

His plan was to make use of the few minutes while you were out shopping to shift back to his human form and just stretch. He hadn't planned on staying like that for longer than maybe ten minutes. But when he had shifted-back the relief—oh god, the relief was almost intoxicating.

It's potency so concentrated, he had ended up groaning out loud as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. 

The numbing, constant aching of his bones and muscles, more than anything else, had left him feeling exhausted for the last few days. The pins and needles feeling when he had shifted back was enough to send him tumbling down onto the floor, as his unsteady feet refused to hold his weight. 

Jungkook had been practising boxing with his trainer before all of this had happened. He also had a black belt in Taekwondo—the very principle of which was to harness an indomitable spirit. He was fit, active, athletic and buff. Staying shifted for extended periods into a form so much smaller than his human one, was borderline torturous at times. 

Jungkook simply did not know how he was supposed to hold back. 

He had many qualities that he was admired for, but iron like self-restraint wasn't exactly one of them. Maybe, more like the lack, thereof the aforementioned, self-restraint would be more appropriate. 

Jungkook wasn't born talented. Not like the rest of the band members. As a student, he wasn't really the brightest pea in the pod either, his math skills are still nothing to boast about. 

What most people saw was the end product, the final result that would come out after Jungkook would spend hours, days—months, perfecting it. He had said it before, but in reality, he wasn't as perfect as his stage persona portrayed him to be. While BTS's Jungkook was perfection personified, with his precise dance timings and on-point vocal notes, Jeon Jeongukk struggled.

When Jeongukk had first joined BTS, he had been more of a dancer than he was a singer. He had never, ever had the assumption or even the hope, that he would be chosen as the main vocalist. When he was rejected during the auditions for Superstar K, the talent show, Jeongkook was heartbroken.

It wasn't something he had ever talked in-depth about to ARMY, but his confidence in his vocal skills had taken a hit that day. He had chosen his then idol, IU Noona's song, and had sung it for weeks, perfected every single note until the feel of that vibration, the beat of that rhythm had synced to his very pulse. 

But he was rejected, cast out before his audition could even be broadcasted. 

He till date can't fully understand why bighit, let alone seven fucking agencies, had thought he was worth their time. Maybe it was fate playing its card and bringing him together with his soulmates, or it was just a coincidence—he didn't know why and probably never would. 

He knows that it wasn't exactly a necessity for all of his soulmates to be idols, you clearly weren't. He knew precisely how lucky he was, and was therefore so utterly thankful that he could share his passion and love with all of his soulmates. 

Yes, All of his soulmates, you included.

Jungkook isn't a snooper, not really. Sure, he has always been curious by nature, and his maknae persona only fuelled that image, thus overtime making him seem more like the baby in the group—but no he wasn't a snooper. 

He knows how much he values his personal space and, so would never deliberately try to breach upon someone else's but you—god you, made him do things he would never choose to do before. 

He hadn't wanted to, or well maybe he did want to, but he definitely didn't mean to. It wasn't like he had been planning to check your laptop folders. 

No, because when just stretching hadn't quite fully loosened his body, he had thought he'd do a quick dance routine and get the blood flowing. How was he supposed to know that he would find BTS songs, their songs, his songs on there?

He shouldn't have been surprised, but he still was. Their fandom was pretty big, and the chances of a college girl listening to their music were pretty high. You were part of the demographic that they aimed and catered most towards, so it was to be expected, but it still caught him by surprise. 

Dressed in one of your loose hoodies and a pair of loose pyjamas, he looks at the screen. 

His breath still hitched in his throat as his eyes widened, glossy, doe-like large and oh so so curious.

His grip on the back of your chair slips, as he stumbles before getting a hold, and slowly sinks down onto the empty seat. Thinks about how you have probably spent hours pouring over your medical texts in the same exact chair, and that makes him feel closer to you. 

He has been curled around you, has slept with his face literally pushed into your cleavage, but somehow the simple act of sharing a space that you spent a lot of your time in, sends his heart racing as a small smile overtakes his lips and he bites them to stop it from spreading entirely.

He fails, of course, he does. 

He clicks on the folder titled 'BTS' and watches a list of sub-folders pop up on his screen. His heartbeat rises—thuds and beats strong enough that he feels it in his ears, in the back of his throat, in the wrist that touches the table as he glides the mouse across the surface. 

His palms feel sweaty, and he feels this anxious feeling pool somewhere deep in his stomach, as his gut squeezes. It feels like his conscience is telling him something. That he shouldn't be doing this. This feels like something dangerous, but something he desires. The folder the screen displays the apple to his Adam. 

You? his forbidden fruit.

His breaths grow shorter, as he unconsciously tries to be as quiet as he can be and leans forward to look at the vast array of songs you had. As his eyes rake over the meticulously named albums with their years after them written in brackets, he almost chuckles. 

He isn't surprised to see that you were anal about categorizing your songs too. From what he had observed of you in the last few days, he would be more surprised if you weren't.

His finger glides over the scroll wheel of the mouse, as he reads the titles of the songs. Every single song they had released was on there—Official and covers. 

Every. Single. One.

Whether you were just a really dedicated ARMY or it was because of the soulmate bond, he didn't know, but it doesn't matter to him what the reason was. 

Because there they were, he and his hyungs splayed all over your computer screen. Their photoshoots all lined meticulously year after year, their random pictures that you had probably picked up from twitter or weverse grouped by year and then there were screenshots. 

Screenshots of tweets, weverse, certain parts of interviews of theirs, that you had ever liked were all there. It was fascinating, surreal, insane to be able to see himself and the hyungs through your eyes, the eyes of their soulmate. 

Somewhere, between finding you in that shelter, to now living with you, he had stopped thinking of you as human, as someone different. 

Yes, you weren't quite the same as he was, but he didn't care anymore. Because you loved him, you cried for him, you laughed with him and more than anything else you completed him. Filled his aching, longing soul with love until it overflowed and he felt full, content—sated. His thirst for your presence quenched, for once in all his life. 

However, the realisation that he had found his last soulmate hadn't fully sunk in yet. He couldn't even imagine what the others must be feeling right now, he was sleeping curled around you and, yet all he wanted to be was closer, it was this all-consuming feeling that kept pulling him under, dunking him in its depths. 

The crazy part was he didn't even mind it anymore, he would drown in the deepest depths if he could feel your hand pulling him closer in there, your lips locking with his as you breathe air into him, save him, make him yours.

Kami, he wanted you to make him yours, mate him, mark him.

He knew it wouldn't happen anytime soon, you didn't even know they were your soulmates. Sure, you liked them as artists, but what teenage or college girl didn't have a favourite band? They could very well just be a passing fascination for you at this point, a fleeting interest, a secret guilty pleasure before you move on with your life. 

Wasn't that how fame usually worked? It was eager, intense, loud until it suddenly wasn't and one was left with a gaping hole in their heart, that they aren't ever able to fill after. 

Jungkook didn't want that, he didn't want that for his hyungs either. It was something he had figured out years ago. He wasn't about to let this fickle, fleeting fame catch him in its lusty claws. 

He would give this life his all, pour literal sweat, blood and tears into it, but once his extended contract ends, he will step back. 

He will bow down low as the curtains close for the stage of 'The Golden Maknae' and, the path paves for Jeon Jeongkook. The boy who had come from Busan with a heart full of hopes and dreams and had ended up achieving and getting more than he had ever even imagined or hoped for. 

He would be thankful to his fans, to his company, to his Hyungs, to this industry, for taking care of him and letting him fly under their warm protection, but he would be done. As the curtains fall close, the mask will slip, and he'll turn, and you will be there. 

You with your bright grin and glimmering eyes would look on at him proudly, and he'd kiss you, hold you and know that he didn't want fame because he had you. 

And you were all he had wanted for as long as he can remember. 

After all, you are the cause of his euphoria, a home with you his utopia. 

Filling in the plot, adding it the finer details. 

Since the taglist is pretty long now and I can’t continue to keep them all in my comments, I will be putting the taglist up here from next chapters onwards. Tumblr is glitchy and some of you might not be notified so I am sorry about that. However, if you are a regular reader and have left me feedback time and time again, whether it was a comment or an ask with your thoughts on this story, I’ll tag you down in the comments since I know you definitely do read the work and appreciate it and I am so grateful for your support.

Thank you for reading  💖

#networkbangtan #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #bangtanidx #ficswithluv #bangtanscenery #btsgoldnet #goldenclosetnet #bangtanshadowfamily #btswriterscollective #btsbookclub #bangtanhq #bts hybrid series #bts hybrid fluff #bts hybrid fic #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid fanfic #bts hybrid x reader #bts hybrid smut #bts soulmate au #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook hybrid #hybrid!bts #hybrid!au #hybrid!jungkook #hybrid au #hybrid!yoongi #hybrid!hoseok

[sungie]

stray kids reaction: comforting your zoom anxiety

a/n: sorry these have been so angsty lately but this is just something i struggle with now a lot w/my anxiety and thought maybe this could help some of you who are going through the same thing rn xx

also i’m so sorry i spent hours trying to get the read more option to work but it wouldn’t :’( if anyone has any tips feel free to let me know

chan

chan walks past your spot at the table and immediately falters when he notices you staring numbly at your laptop screen.

he crouches down to try to meet your gaze, and then, worried at how your bottom lip starts to tremble, gently tilts your chin up to face him.  “(y/n)? what’s going on?”

you just shake your head, trying not to meet his gaze

chan’s not an idiot; something’s obviously wrong

because despite how much you try to hide things, chan knows. he just knows that you won’t tell him what’s going on, and a lot of it is because you want so much to be strong and not feel like such a burden (which you could never, ever be, chan loves you to the end of the world and back)

and he also knows you beat yourself up for mistakes so much worse than anyone, always obsessively focusing on self-perceived flaws for days.  weeks, even. 

so when he happens to notice the zoom launch page, realization floods across his face.

“oh, baby, no.  come here” 

chan wraps you in his arms, gently closing your laptop with one hand and guiding you from desk to couch where you nestle your head into his chest

“i’m so stupid, chan,” you whimper, bringing your hands up to cover your face. “why am i like this?” 

it hurts chan to see you like this

he wants more than anything to make everything better, but he knows these things take time and you need time

“you mean, why are you so talented, and beautiful, and dedicated?  i don’t know, babe.  you just are.  i’m not surprised, though.” 

“i’m such a screw up.”

“you know, (y/n), i promised i wouldn’t let anyone talk to you like that,” chan murmurs, “not even yourself.”

you look up at chan with wide eyes

“i know it’s hard, baby.  i know it’s scary, but i’m so proud of you for getting through it.”

chan just wants to pamper you for the rest of the day, and more often than not, the two of you will cuddle together and end up falling asleep for a few hours, tangled together on the couch until you’re ready enough to talk things out. 

- -

minho

minho’s brow raises when he sees the door to his room crack open, and he watches as you barrel towards him, collapsing onto the bed next to his legs.

he doesn’t think anything of it, not really. 

well, maybe he’s just a little disappointed that you didn’t come to cuddle and rest your head next to his chest, because minho won’t admit it, but he’s a simp for your cuddles

but then, a few seconds later, he notices you’re trembling. 

and all too soon, he realizes with horror, that the way you’re huddling toward him isn’t out of comfort, oh no, not comfort. 

minho sits up immediately and looks over to see you curled up in the fetal position with your eyes shut, your arms wrapped tightly around your legs

minho murmurs a worried, “babe?”, and he feels his heart break as your eyes open and fill with tears

“it doesn’t get better. i’m never going to be normal.”

minho gently pries the phone out your grasp because it’s only making you feel worse, and he’s about to close all your tabs until he notices what’s on the screen: articles about anxiety, coping mechanisms, how-to’s for speaking up, not freezing up, how to hide fear -- and his heart breaks.

minho gets up for a moment, taking your phone to place it on the nightstand.  and when he leaves the room and comes back a minute later with soonie in his arms, he gently plops her down onto your hip and then sits cross-legged beside you, his eyes sad and his head propped in his hands 

“you can talk to me, i’ve got you.”

and you let all the words fall out. 

afterwards, minho wraps a knit blanket around your form and tells you, quietly, that you’re the most special person in the world.

“more than your cats?” you manage to joke weakly, cracking the faintest smile.

a relieved smile immediately tugs at minho’s lips and the way he looks at you makes  you feel like the luckiest person in the world.  “you’re feeling better,” minho whispers, half to himself, half to you, and then he lets his gentle smile curve to a teasing smirk.

and like a brat, he says, “i said person.”

you whine and softly poke his cheek, but minho leans over you to press annoying kisses all across your face with the most loving expression

“yah, (y/n), of course you’re more special than my cats, my god”

changbin

you already know the routine by now

you’d texted changbin in midst of your online class with your signature emoji that means: please help i can’t think everything’s too much

and as soon as it’s over changbin’s here with a sympathetic expression and a sheepish shrug, holding a heavy pillow out a safe (and far) distance in front of him

“wanna let it out?” 

you nod, shakily, and they you step up to the pillow and start slamming your fists into the pillow, words flying from your mouth about how annoying your brain is and how much you hate this and your blows weaken and your words jumble together until changbin lets the pillow lower and he welcomes you into his arms

he runs his hand against your back and just stands and holds you for a while, rocking you back and forth 

“i hate this so much, bin”

“i know, baby. i know.” 

he knows that sometimes physical contact helps bring you out of your mind

and so he’ll gently take your face in his hands and caress your cheeks with his thumbs

“it’s over, now.  you did it, baby.”

he finds you so beautiful and often loses himself for a few moments because you’re such a special person and he hopes you know that you mean the world to him

if you want to talk about it, he’s got you 

and the two of you will cuddle on the couch for as long as you need and talk or watch videos together or eat food

or sometimes you just want to be alone, and changbin will press a kiss to your forehead and let you recharge

and as soon as you’re ready to come out, he’s always got your favorite meal or takeout from your favorite restaurant

and the smile that crosses his face when he sees you makes everything feel just a little bit better

hyunjin

hyunjin doesn’t quite understand how you get so nervous, but he wants to help so bad.

he hates seeing you shut down, and it hurts him to witness the moments when you retreat back into your mind

because you’re such a beautiful soul, and he just knows the thoughts that rage through your head are anything but kind

hyunjin sees this happen on a daily basis, and each time he does, he wishes he could make it better.

today’s been especially bad, with zoom call after zoom call, and he can see the circles under your eyes and the exhaustion and terror written all across your face

he peels off a post-it note and gently sticks it onto your hand, out of view of the camera

“is this an important class?” it says. 

you turn to him, indiscreetly nodding your head

hyunjin’s face falls. because if it wasn’t, he would all too quickly turn the video off your screen and let you fall into his arms, pulling you away from the laptop to cuddle and watch something to take your mind off it.  

you’re just pushing yourself so much, and hyunjin knows you need to rest

but instead, he comes back a few minutes later, holding a plate of sliced fruit and vegetables arranged by color to look pretty and cute

and he slides that next to your laptop and comes back with a mug with your favorite warm drink

there’s a post-it on this, too. “i love you, and you’re doing great, okay? you’ve got this baby <3 <3 <3

it makes you tear up, a little. 

after you’re finally done, you find hyunjin and hug him so tightly 

“how’d you know?” 

hyunjin just gazes at you softly, nuzzling his nose against yours

“you did it, baby. you should be proud of yourself”

all you can do is hug hyunjin tighter as you start to tear up from relief, nerves, comfort, and hyunjin himself 

“i love you.”

jisung

jisung understands all too well the feeling of anxiety

and whenever he notices that you’re upset, even if he’s not feeling all too great, it’s like that anxiety loophole where all his anxiety goes away as soon as he realizes that you’re in pain 

really, all jisung wants to do is comfort you and make sure you’re feeling as okay as possible -- everything else goes away, only you. 

he gets it, really gets it, when you tell him in tears that you can’t take another discussion over video call which ends in you sitting in silence and regret for not saying anything

“people probably think i’m mean and dumb, jisung,” you choke out, “and i’m not! but i … i don’t even deserve to be there.  they see right through me.  i’m like, a fraud.”

jisung’s heart physically breaks at this, because you’re not.  you’re really, really not.  anything but. 

“no, baby.  you do deserve to be there.  you said it yourself, you’re not dumb.  you’re not mean.  but you’re dealing with anxiety, baby, and that makes everything so much scarier.”

jisung also knows that nothing he says can make it better, but he also knows that you need to get out of your head.

he drapes a blanket around your shoulders and gently pulls you up from the couch, telling you that the two of you are going to explore

jisung drives around the city for a couple hours, and he gives you control over the aux and lets you listen to all your favorite songs -- but sometimes even that’s too much, so he’ll put on shuffle the playlist that the two of you have made together for nights just like this.

there’s always something calming about getting lost in the city for the night, watching the neon lights reflect against the windows as you lose yourself in the music and the dark and the feeling of drifting away from any sort of responsibility and tie to real life.

just you and jisung; the two of you against the world.

jisung does his best to help you forget when that’s what you need.  he pulls into a drive through and orders an order of fries, cheerfully feeding them to you when you reach red stoplights.  and then he stops at a boba place that’s empty and still open for another hour, or so, and comes back with both your favorite drinks.  and then jisung is telling you stories about anything, everything

jisung makes you smile and laugh, and each time you do, the expression that crosses jisung’s face is full of such relief and love

and when you start making your own jokes and telling your own stories, a familiar light entering your eyes, jisung can’t look away and feels his heart mend back together

later, when the two of you come back home and collapse into bed, you tumble over and rest your head against jisung’s chest, feeling safe and loved when he presses his lips to your forehead and holds your hand

“do you think it’ll get better?” you whisper, finally ready to talk about what happened 

jisung presses a tender kiss to your knuckles.  “i know it will.”

felix

trust me, felix knows all too well the exact regret you’re describing 

when you tell him in hysterics about not being enough and not being able to be present even though you wanted to so bad -- he gets it. 

you don’t even know how to describe it.  you just couldn’t, and that made it so worse. 

but felix just nodding and gazing at you with acceptance and understanding makes you feel so safe

because felix is always one thing with you when you’re upset and anxious, and that is gentle

but he also clearly sees the way you answer in short responses when he asks you about it, and how you look so uncomfortable

felix knows whenever he gets like this, he needs to get out of his head 

so he takes your hand and guides you to the kitchen, smiling brightly at you

“let’s make something.”

if you’re ever too overwhelmed, felix will do everything for you and come to your room to drop off a plate of dessert and check in and see how you’re doing

but if you’re okay with doing something, felix is that happiest boy ever

you welcome the distraction and help felix find all the mixing bowls, and he grabs the carton of milk while you grab the sugar from the cabinets

felix takes a finger of flour and smudges a small dot on your cheek 

“there, freckles” 

and you smile weakly and smudge a stripe against his cheek 

every so often felix will rest his head on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your waist 

he doesn’t bring up what happened earlier because he knows you hate thinking about it, but when you do finally decide to talk about how you feel, it’s usually while the two of you are waiting for dessert to come out the oven 

and felix just listens patiently with genuine concern and focus and doesn’t interrupt you at all until you’re done 

at times like this, felix really thinks about what to say 

and when he does finally speak, it makes you feel so much better

like someone actually sees you and your struggles

but then he’ll do something like accidentally knock over the bowl of leftover egg white or accidentally catch his sleeve in a spill on the table

but it’s okay because you love him

and he really does manage to make everything feel just a little bit better

seungmin

the silence was the first indication something was wrong.

because your relationship works on easy, witty jabs toward each other that always end in laughter and amusement, wildly chasing each other around the apartment and collapsing in cuddles and playful pokes on the shoulder

but this time, when seungmin teasingly mentions that the phone is your achilles heel after you ask him to order the take out, he’s met with stony silence, an unresponsive face, and then: “that’s not funny.”

seungmin’s face falls immediately.  he knew something was wrong as soon as he noticed the blankness unfold on your expression, and he steps forward carefully, his eyes softening.  “i’m sorry.  that was mean of me.”

when you don’t reject to him coming closer, he steps toward you again, kneeling down to where you are and gazes at you with concerned eyes.  “did it happen again?”

you finally look up at seungmin, the first trace of emotion peeking through the heavy mask as you nod.  “it’s just so stressful.”

seungmin regards you carefully and nods, prompting you to keep going. 

“i hate seeing myself on screen,” you mumble, laughing tonelessly in attempt to keep things casual.  “i just smile and nod, and … i can’t read nonverbal signals, minnie.  i don’t even know when i can talk --”

you stand up and start pacing back and forth, your hands scrunching up your face and pulling at your hair.  “i don’t know why i feel like this, and i can’t stop thinking, seungmin, i hate it so much.”

but seungmin walks into your path and gently takes your hands in his, squeezing your palms gently. and then he tenderly opens your fists up, tracing little hearts on your palms and the pads of your fingertips.

“i wish i were like you,” you whisper.

“you already are,” seungmin says, instead.  “everything i am, you’re that and more.”

“i’m not capable.”

seungmin gently squeezes your hands again, this time tracing circles against your knuckles.  “i think if anyone’s capable here, it’s you.  you’re fighting this thing every day, (y/n).  even if you don’t see it, i see it.  i see you, and you’re capable.  more than.”

your mouth drops a little, and you stare at seungmin with wide eyes.  and then, “what?”

seungmin just smiles, shaking his head.  “what?”

“i’m sorry i got mad at you.”

seungmin shakes his head, letting your hands drop as he pulls you into a hug.  “don’t be.”

“i liked that thing you did with my hands,” you murmur into his shoulder, “it helps me not think.”

and this time seungmin presses kisses to your fingers

and he’s just so gentle with you 

afterwards when you stop shaking, seungmin doesn’t forget that you still need to eat, so he orders takeout, or you do if you want to try and he’ll hold your hand and just be there, and then the two of you will watch something on his laptop and then finally fall asleep together at the table

jeongin

“isn’t your class starting now?” jeongin mumbles with a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes and placing a mug of your favorite drink next to your hand

you just shrug, mouse hovered over the link to take you into zoom call 

jeongin furrows his face, then blinks. he does a sort of double take, eyes flickering from the time (he knows your schedule by now), the hesitation of your expression, the clear tension in your shoulders and the slight tremor of your fingers. 

“oh,” jeongin’s voice whispers.  

he takes a seat at the table beside you, eyes relenting, a concerned expression encasing his mannerisms.  “it’s okay to be scared, (y/n)”

you swallow, not quite trusting yourself to speak, your throat already tight and unstable 

“(y/n) … if you’re not feeling good we can call in sick and tackle it tomorrow. you don’t have to do it today if it’s too much.”

you shake your head.  “no,” and then, biting your lip, “i just … don’t want to join, innie.  what if he calls on me?  and i won’t know the answer, and everyone will laugh. and he’ll make fun of me.”

“that’s so mean,” jeongin says affronted, his eyes wide and then he pouts.  “he’d do that to you?” 

you nod, arms wrapping around yourself, and jeongin is already awake, eyes wide and you can already tell he’s trying to think of a solution where everything’s okay 

“if he does that,” jeongin says, quietly, “then we’ll leave the meeting.”

you crack a half smile.  “i can’t do that.”

“i’ll unplug the router,” jeongin pouts. 

you sigh, smushing your hands against your face, all too aware of your heart beating so loudly in your ears and the shallowness of your breath. 

“(y/n)?  oh no, (y/n), baby --”

he’s not one for pet names, but this time it just slips out and it makes things stop for a second

“i’m going to grab your hand, okay? and i’m going to start counting and we’re going to breathe.  is that okay?” 

you nod after a few seconds, and jeongin reaches for your hand, placing your palm against his chest.  and then he starts counting to ten, in a reassuring voice.  “just concentrate on breathing.  just focus on me.”

jeongin closes the laptop and pushes it away from you.  “what do you need?” 

“i … i just need a few minutes.”

jeongin nods, then reaches for your hand clasping it in his and squeezing gently.  “i’ll be here.”

when you regain your breath and think you’re a little okay, you turn and drag the laptop over, mouse hovering over the link 

jeongin just smiles at you softly, eyes still blinky and exhausted from sleep.  he rests his head against the table, and you can tell he’s trying to stay awake, but it’s just so early and he starts drifting off to sleep

but there’s something in the comfort jeongin brings by just being there, and with your heart beating loudly in your chest, you click the link and are brought to the loading screen: host will let you in momentarily

jeongin stirs and squeezes your hand again, slightly more awake, now.  “you got this”

he smiles genuinely, and it makes your heart warm.  “squeeze my hand if it gets bad in there, okay?” 

you shake your head, but jeongin wakes up further at this, slightly alarmed.  “you won’t bother me, i promise!  and when you’re done we can go pick up an order at the pastry shop down the street, okay?”

you smile at jeongin.  “okay.” 

and you’re going to hold him to that.

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[skippyv20]

US Perception Thoughts

Hi Skippy & Friends-Pilgrim here with my take on the question of how the Harkles will be perceived in the US and for this interview program. These are broad stroke impressions for a population that generally likes to support hard working, honest families and want to trust their broadcast news. Because of these trying time, they are getting very good at sniffing out frauds, bad people and fake news. Right now, hardly anyone is paying attention to the Harkles or this interview so I would guess that is why OW is beating the bushes to get the word out, including music for a spy thriller. She thinks she has the “coup of interview coups” that we are all eager to hear about. I ask, “when do you stop beating a dead horse?” First, the older generations don’t know who LaConArtiste is, as evidenced when I query my friends. At first they are shocked and ask a few questions in disbelief but when I start to explain, they get sketchy and begin to wonder about my interest in this. I try to explain I hate frauds, liars and cheats. They agree being nice and change the subject. The middle aged population sees her on the magazines at the cash register, scan a headline or if they have time read a paragraph that she has written about herself which they accept as news. These women have countered me saying she has a child doesn’t she? Why can’t you be happy for them? Absolutely no questions about her background or about the wedding…all taken at face value and if I start to explain events, they go into defense mode and really don’t care to spend much time on it, because they know everything…that is their generation. As for Prince Harry- the goofier he is, the better. That seems to be considered cool, cute, OK as in great! Seeing him handle that military type playground with Corden was perfect for that show. I think Corden created good late late night entertainment for both of them and they nailed it like old comedy duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbot & Costello, Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis…Even though the Harkles are getting up there in age, (over 30 was the enemy right?) I think if Just Harry keeps going out and being fun/funny he will win fans and even get movie offers. I bet late night talk shows are already calling his agent. If Just Harry doesn’t have one, he needs to get one asap-and NO not her or her mom. IMHO, he is going to be the one who crosses over into the red carpet zone-from a silver spoon to the silver screen! He has been training for this all his life. He speaks well in front of crowds. Even though he claims cameras terrify him, he looks amazingly calm and unperturbed as they film away. He is ruggedly handsome and very coordinated-he can even ride!!! The camera likes his blue eyes and natural ability to relate. This is box office material these days. She is looking matronly, speaking in woke tongues and is in hiding. That is not going to compute with the 20-somethings who need action heroes. Think surfing, snow boarding, dancing, singing, sexy stars who are making movies about end of times with mixed up metaphors, inaccurate history and bad science. These kids may tune in to their political woke message. This age group is not well educated and is definitely brain washed into thinking their country is a bad one, ignorant of its history and heroes. They don’t read. Their attention span is extremely short. Most are not in good physical shape for their age. They play hours of video games and have been spoiled by their parents. In conclusion: Low numbers for the interview. Overall, not interested in middle aged, ex-royals unless Just Harry is in a film. My hunch is the kids might watch the interview for a few minutes if their parents have it on but listening to a realllly old gal called Oprah…(do they even know who she is?) ask boring questions, as these fuddy duddy adults sit around talking foreign politics-no way! If they show scenes from the wedding that the older ladies may have missed, plus some fairy tale princess stuff, they may linger especially if they dangle a glimpse of Archie. Their husbands may stay awake if they show her sex scenes from Suits but more likely the men will be snoring or in the man cave watching sports. 2 hours with commercials? Hell no. Not even if they are describing what color of bloomers the royals wear under their kilts. Keeping my fingers crossed this is a total belly aching flop. Over and out from a very chilly Cape.

This will be a disaster for MM and Oprah!  Wonderful.....thank you, great post!😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

3/02/21