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stairs-feooff · 1 year

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An Open Letter to White Emo Kids

When I was thirteen years old, I googled ‘how to be emo.’ The music, the aesthetics, the darkness of it all captivated me. There was transgression there, with boys in makeup and girls who weren’t ashamed to be bisexual. The online emo community on google plus (anyone else remember google plus? Just me?) took me in with open arms. I was allowed to be depressed, I didn’t have to hide my burgeoning sexuality or the starts of my struggle with depression, something I now know was caused by intense amounts of dysphoria and life in an abusive and queerphobic household.

Only, there was one problem. I wasn’t white.

Certainly, nobody would say they had an issue with me being Latino to my face. Most people in the scene genuinely believed they were not racist. After all, they loved Latino people, they thought the guys in Pierce the Veil were so hot. They appreciated the culture too, sombreros and maracas were the full extent of Mexican culture, right?

But to be emo, you had to be pale. I remember Onision saying that Black people couldn’t pull off emo, and while everyone I knew talked about how horrible he was for saying that, they all secretly believed it. The emo kids I knew stayed out of the sun, they wore long sleeves to stay whiter and some on the more goth side carried around parasols. It was just part of the gothic, to stay white and dead looking. I hid myself from the sun, my skin tanned quickly and well, we couldn’t have that.

Every guide on emo aesthetics emphasized stick straight hair. Every emo kid I knew reinforced that idea. I begged my mom for a relaxer, she refused. It was alright, I figured out how to damage my hair well enough on my own. Pete Wentz kept his hair straight, spent his time with a flat iron to press down the curls that made him inpalatable to white suburban teenagers. I could too. The burns, the split ends, the fact that my hair didn’t start to return to its natural texture until I cut several inches off this year, that was the sacrifice kids like me needed to take to come into the scene. If not, you would be made fun of. You’d be compared to Ray Toro, everyone’s favorite ‘princess fro fro.’ He was Puerto Rican, just like me. No one talked about that, beyond whispering it around like a dirty secret. No one acknowledged his pride in his country, mirrored by my own pride instilled in me from my mother. Every piece of him, every feature identifiable as nonwhite was sneered at. His hair, his nose, his lips, the white kids said he was the ugly one because of them. I was too, I suppose.

That was back in 2014. I remember it vividly, still.

Turn back the clock to the early 1980s. Dischord records has just signed seminal emo group, Rites of Spring. There is change in the humid Washington DC Summer air. A new genre would be born from it, branching from the existing hardcore movement. To say Dischord records created emo would be no exaggeration. Without them, the music all of us in the scene know and love would be nonexistent. Dischord was seminal in the scene, Dischord was also founded by Ian MacKeye, vocalist for Minor Threat and later, Fugazi.

Minor Threat is not emo in the tradional sense. Musically, it’s similar to punk and hardcore groups of the time, lacking the distinct musical flourishes of MacKeye’s later emo group, Fugazi. Still, Minor Threat helped shape the hardcore scene emo was born from and created the record label that signed Rites of Spring, the first emo band. Fugazi is legendary in first and second wave emo circles, influencing bands like Thursday. MacKeye’s stamp on emo is inescapable, even in the third wave. MacKeye also penned the song: Guilty of Being White.

Guilty of Being White is a minute of MacKeye complaining about systemic racism - or rather, being blamed for systemic racism. He’s sorry for being white, he’s so so sorry, don’t you feel sorry for him, a white man in the 1980s? Isn’t it horrible that white people are blamed for systemic inequality? Isn’t it horrible that he actually has to put work into allyship with people of color?

MacKeye says he never meant for the song to seem racist. Surely, the fact that it’s become a favorite of white power groups is a coincidence.

All that is to say, racism was baked into emo from the very beginning. The label that created the genre was founded by white men with very clear issues with racism, even if they did not see it that way. Pete Wentz flat ironing his Black hair and Tyler Joseph refusing to say he’s influenced by rap aren’t bugs unique to the third wave. Instead, they’re features of the genre.

Now, I’m not writing this to ‘cancel’ emo. I love emo dearly, I still consider myself emo. It, in every wave, is my favorite genre of music. Rites of Spring, Jawbreaker, My Chemical Romance, these bands have shaped my life like no other. Through emo I have met some of my best friends, white and nonwhite alike. Emo allowed me to express my gender and sexuality freely. Emo changed my life for the better, and it continues to do so. No, I am not writing this to cancel emo, whatever that means. Instead, it is because I love the genre so much that I feel the need to point out its flaws, its shielding and harboring of racism since Dischord herself began.

They say you should end essays like this with a call to action. Personally, I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t been reiterated a thousand times. Really, what am I supposed to say here? Stop being racist? I, like so many other people of color both in and out of the scene are tired of telling white people to do just that over and over. We are tired of seeing white people stop saying what isn’t acceptable anymore, not due to any sort of active unpacking of white supremacy on their part but simply out of a wish to not be ostracized. I am tired of going to emo spaces outside my friend groups and explaining to white thirty year olds what racism is, over and over and over again ad infinitum. I am tired of seeing white people try and take the lead on discussions of racism, whether it is to rapidly assert ‘im not racist but-‘ or to be on the opposite extreme, to jump the gun and form a dog-eat-dog circus, where the end goal is not to actually form a safe place for people of color but to prove how not racist they are. I am tired of watching white people jump on whatever they can to demonize people of color in the scene. I am tired of watching nuanced conversations about racism and complicitness in racism be overshadowed by people upset their pet white man isn’t going to kiss their other pet white man anymore. I am tired of watching children be called slurs.

Perhaps my frustration is coming loose. It’s hard to be in the middle of all this and not be frustrated. At this point, I am disillusioned. These conversations are seemingly brought up every month, and yet, there is no systemic change. All I can say is I hope that one day, emo becomes actively hostile to racism and racists. Perhaps being aware that racism has been integral to the scene since the beginning is a good place to start.

#*swings bat at hornets nest*

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queenofcoquette · 10 months

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how i started to feel pretty

hey loves! i’ve struggled with feeling insecure over my looks, but recently i’ve made changes that have helped me be less insecure. little improvements with my lifestyle and mindset have already made a big difference. first i’m going to talk about my insecurities, then what i did and then general tips.

my insecurities:

hyperpigmentation. i have bad undereye bags due to genetics that landed my family to call all of our eyes “raccoon eyes.” then redness above my eyelids, then darkness above my upper lip no matter how much i shaved.

facial asymmetry. we all have it, but i felt so bad anytime i took a selfie and i couldn’t bear to take any photos of myself.

body dysmorphia. this one is weird. i don’t view my body the way others do, and honestly the way i view it changes all the time.

changes i’ve made:

first i started doing things that didn’t help. they were temporary solutions that did nothing. i used concealer and powder for the hyperpigmentation- but it looked cakey and a little ashy-kinda cuz i wasn’t using a color corrector. for my body i did these “abs in 2 weeks!” challenges during covid, and was restrictive, which is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

for my skin:

i started using the glycolic acid serum by the ordinary. this stuff is life changing! i’ve been going makeup free on my skin lately and my skin tone has gotten so much more even. plus it’s affordable and it’s a giant bottle.

for my face:

i started doing face massages for muscle tension

i also realized that my facial asymmetry is 1) normal (we all have it to a certain extent and 2) it’s probably not as bad as i think it is.

for my body:

i’ve started to focus more on health than appearances, because that my view of my body is distorted. i don’t see it like other people do, so i need to prioritize my health. i started eating MORE- more foods that are healthy, more fruits and vegtables. instead of restricing i allowed myself to have more.

i developed a pilates plan that focused on building strength, and incorporated a little bit of weights. now that i play sports i’ve put an emphasis on strength which has actually helped me get more toned.

journaling. i began to write down about my feelings- the way i view other people vs. the way i view myself. it made me realize how social media gave me an unrealistic image, and how i wasn’t viewing myself the way i really am.

advice:

what are you insecure about? the first step is just writing down your biggest insecurities- aka why don’t you feel beautiful? what made you feel this way? no one is born feeling ugly- we’re all taught to feel this way, whether it’s comments that have been made to us or others.

find people with similar stories. this helped me in the past, watching videos about people who had the same insecurities as me, it opened my eyes to how harshly i treat myself.

get to the root of it. for my skin i realized that covering up my hyperpigmentation with makeup wouldn’t solve the problem, so i put an emphasis on incorporating things into my skincare routine that could solve the problem, without makeup!

think in the long-term. think about what’s healthy for you, and the most natural way of doing so. for example, when it came to my body i had to think about what’s healthy for me overall, not a quick fix. quick fixes aren’t attainable!

prioritize mental and physical health. i think we should all embrace our natural beauty by focusing on our skincare and the health of our hair. additionally, mental health is equally important, especially when it comes to body image.

positive thinking. a lot of times we tend to vocalize our negative thoughts, ive heard ppl make horrible comments about their bodies and things like that. first of all, stop saying those things out loud- you’re only reaffirming them in your head, and furthering the bad feeling. when you get horrible thoughts about yourself, try to stop them and replace them with good ones. even if you don’t believe it at first, you soon will.

it sometimes takes a while for beautiful people to realize how gorgeous they are. i had friends who i thought were some of the prettiest girls in the world, but they didn’t even realize it. i bet there’s so many people in your life who look at you and see the beauty in you that you don’t see in yourself. just stay healthy and keep positive thoughts, and i hope in time you’ll see your inner and outer beauty.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette

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spacebarbarianweird · 5 months

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Please, what are you headcanons about Astarion and human Tav/Durge? There's obviously the angsty issue of humans having one of the shortest life spans of all DnD races but that's only as angsty as you want it to be in this setting (and the stories you can tell about it are what makes it fascinating). Still... What's your take on it? Would that be a disaster for a proud immortal elf?

Since humans are very diverse I decided to take female human Tav who isn't exactly a big girl but would be considered "curvy" by human beauty standarts.

Astarion x F!Human!Tav

Masterlist

Headcanons

You are the third child born into a big family of seven.

Unlike your sisters, you are that girl who is always teased for "eating too much" or "needing too much fabric for a dress."

It would bother you if you had issues with self-esteem. But you don't.

"At least, I have some tits and ass!" you jokingly say to people who decide to comment on your looks.

Besides, your father, a native to Frost North, has always told you that "the bigger a woman is, the more chances she survives a winter".

You inherited from your northern ancestors' red hair, the color of fire.

Freckles dance over your pale skin and, when you laugh, you can be heard in the neighboring village.

Since there's not much for you in life apart from marriage, you sign up to join an adventure party.

Being an adventurer isn't easy. It's dangerous for a lonely woman but you manage to find friends and learn how to protect yourself.

And you are still this jolly human woman who just can't allow herself to stop because your years are so short.

You probably regret this attitude when locked inside the Mindflayer's pod with a nasty tadpole behind your eyes.

You gather this group of traumatized people - it's not like you are the most competent person, but you are, at least, not experiencing the meltdown!

Astarion immediately catches your eye - he is an elf. And it's a common knowledge humans see elves as the most beautiful creatures ever.

Does he think he manipulates you into protecting him? Too bad. You decided you weren't leaving this adventure without this handsome elven man by your side.

A vampire? Even better.

You are much stronger than him and a bit taller.

You can easily pick him since his bones are so light.

And he adores your body.

Your breasts are pretty big and your thighs are soft.

He likes using your boobs as a pillow and you don't mind - because it gives you full access to his hair.

Or putting his head on your soft belly and thighs.

He also adores your body hair - especially the one in private parts.

"You know among humans it's considered ugly unless you are a man"

"No wonder human women prefer elves."

You look adorable in dresses with deep necklines and ribbons in your curly red hair.

And Astarion loves seeing you in the morning, when you, awake from your long human sleep, look at the world with puffy eyes trying to apprehend wtf you saw in your dreams.

"Don't even ask, human's dreams are fucked up."

When Astarion is distressed, you often put him on your knees and lull him like a child.

And it's difficult for him to adapt to your lifestyle.

You are considered a slow type for a human but you are still a human

You are ambitious, loud, and fast. You have so little time left, you want to experience it to the fullest.

You are smart, brave, skilled and unstoppable like a human traveler, who decided they want to reach the edge of the world.

You keep being adventurers until it's too difficult for you.

Your red hair turns white, and you have wrinkles. You aren't a jolly red-haired girl any longer.

You are a jolly old lady who can both bake cookies for neighbor kids and beat someone's abuser with a hammer.

The time passes fast and it's time for you to go.

"You were quite an adventure, Astarion", you whisper to him

"And you were everything", he replies holding his tears back.

Astarion wants to leave the moment you find rest in your grave, but your family, the loud red-haired clan doesn't let him go.

Well, it's not like any of them were ever prepared to have a vampire for an uncle but here they are.

Astarion visits them from time to time, seeing how children grow up, how new things get old, and how the village becomes a town and then a city.

Human lives are so short, they make the most of them

Astarion visits less and less and only some of the oldest residents of the city know about him.

"Oh, yeah… I remember. My grandmother once told me her great-grandfather's sister was married to a vampire."

Sitting at the seashore, waiting to sail to the Isle of Evermeet, Astarion remembers the words he once heard from an old elf.

"You need to fall in love with a human at least once in your life."

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

#spacebarbarian headcanon #dnd elves #high elves #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanon #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #tav x astarion #astarion x f!tav #human tav

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pynkhues · 1 year

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What do you think about it is about Kendall that’s it’s like, of course he’s the only one with a real friend?

It's lowkey one of my favourite choices on the show, anon, just because I think it's so revealing in more ways than one. Like, it makes sense, not just because of who Kendall is, but also who his siblings are, and the different ways they navigate their way through the world.

Interestingly, I think Connor and Shiv actually have the clearest boundary (or hurdle, depending on how you look at it) when it comes to fostering friendships, and while I think those things are different, I think they're both steeped in these factors of them as characters that shape their experiences of adulthood.

I think Connor's stems from an extremely disrupted childhood between his mother's mental health, her institutionalisation, his father's absence and reappearance, and then his being pushed into a parentified role to the golden trio at a formative age (canon explicitly tells us that too! Camping trips, fishing trips, fulfilling the father duties at Shiv's wedding before Logan decides to show up!) when he should've been away at college building his own relationships, in order to feel he had any sort of place in his family.

Similarly, I think Shiv has been soaked in hatred for her own gender since she's been born. Her relationship with her mother is strained and seems to have been weaponised by her father, she likely went to an all girls school (Spence, I imagine, which is basically the all girls equivalent of Buckley, the all boys school we know Kendall went to) and her own misogyny hampered any genuine friendship attempts. I think Shiv probably had frenemies, but nothing deeply meaningful, because vulnerability and emotional honesty is something she can't allow herself if she wants to survive in a male-dominated household festering in a male-dominated industry. I think male friendships were off the table in that sense too because Shiv seems to have always sought power in whatever way she could, and the two things she has to exert power are her name and her sexuality and at least her sexuality is hers.

I think Roman's a little harder to put a pin in in that sense, because I think he's a little bit of both of them, and a whole lot his own thing. I think he's experienced a part of Connor's disrupted childhood by having been shipped away to school and for his physical abuse, and I think he's experienced a part of Shiv's self-loathing for a part of his identity he can't face up to, but I also think Roman on paper should have friends. Roman's funny and insightful and (most of the time) the right sort of mean, and he's no more self-defensive than the rest of them, but I think the reason comes down to the biggest difference between him and Kendall:

Roman can be honest without being vulnerable, whereas Kendall can be vulnerable without being honest.

Roman as a character isn't actually particularly duplicitous. He can absolutely be an asshole, but he doesn't play to what people want in the way that both Kendall and Shiv (and even to an extent, Connor) do. His moments of vulnerability though are rare, often private, often, still, fleeting and guarded, while his moments of honesty are more frequent, yet often just ugly and naked and there. He fronts to it, and takes it, and usually tells the other person to take it too, which is what he did with Gerri and Tabitha and even Lawrence way back at the start of the series.

Kendall's not an honest person, but he is someone who's inherently vulnerable, and I think it pulls people to him, despite themselves. We've seen it in real time with Naomi and even Greg, and retrospectively with Rava, Stewy and Frank. He can break, he can curl in a lap or bury a head in a shoulder while still telling half truths or nothing at all. God, probably one of the best examples is in 2.04 when he pulls Shiv into a hug while talking around what she actually wants to hear.

Kendall lets people mop up the blood while he either tries to hide, ignore or justify the wound, and I think that vulnerability lets people feel a degree of intimacy with him and protectiveness of him that becomes muddied as they discover that Kendall is inherently a dishonest person and an addict, as it seems most characters in this show have learnt the hard way. After all, discovering that he's not told you a whole truth doesn't erase the memory of the weight of his head against your shoulder.

#i kind of had two responses to this one anon #but i thought this was maybe the more interesting one?#because i do think their circumstances and personality types have been really formative in their ability to form relationships #i do also think a lot about birth order with the four of them though and how that shapes the way they engage with others #a part of that too is the fact that i think stewy and kendall met when they were little kids #(they met at buckley! it's kindy to ninth grade!)#(in theory they would've been six!)#and i like the idea of their friendship starting over something pretty innocuous #because you have no idea right?#and then at some point they just clearly became ride or die #kendall roy #roman roy #shiv roy #connor roy #hbo succession #succession meta

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thyandrawrites · 2 years

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I wonder if people realize that the reason why the League was allowed to exist for as long as it did without violent suppression from the HPSC is only because of the threat of the noumu

So. We know from Nagant's backstory that anything capable of shaking up the status quo was quickly and covertly executed without much fanfare:

In fact, the Commission was so indiscriminate in applying that rule that both villains and heroes are said to have died under her rifle.

The reason why not even heroes were exempt from this ruthless retribution is simple. The Commission, as an institution born to regulate the spreading phenomenon of vigilantism and the chaos that follows, wasn't created with the purpose of administering justice, but rather to do just that: regulating society. They're not cops. They're an odd mix between politicians and spin doctors. On one hand, their official role is that of overseeing heroics as a whole—issuing hero licenses, coordinating pro heroes, analyzing and administering the data that goes into the hero rankings, that sort of thing. But on the other hand, their less official and more prominent role is that of puppet masters of the hero narrative. They feed a favourable (for the heroes, that is) interpretation of events to the media, and have done so for years, in order to protect the citizens' faith in the status quo.

This is why, for example, the truth of who Nagant actually killed to get thrown into jail isn't public knowledge. Letting the citizens know that she'd offed the Commission President would raise question. People would wonder why a fairly beloved heroine would turn against the institution that trained her. They'd want to know the motive behind the murder of such a prominent figure in the industry. In other words, revealing any specifics would not only expose their internal disputes to the public eye, but also, and most importantly, instill doubt.

That's what it always boils down to. The Commission exists for one purpose: protecting the hero system from anything that might make it crumble—be it doubt, social unrest, and last but not least the worst case scenarios themselves, mistrust for heroes and the reign of terror of villains.

The current arc gives us a bit more insight into that. What happens when the citizens stop trusting heroes as protectors? And what happens when villains shake up the population so much that hope and faith in things ever getting better starts to sound like a child's tale? Lawlessness is what happens. A second coming of the vigilantism era, where untrained and unregulated civilians take matters into their own hands to feel less vulnerable, to retain some control in the face of such uncertainty.

So we come full circle: all of this is why the Commission acted around the law so much, and sent Nagant against anyone who so much as thought of endangering the status quo, corrupted heroes included:

Prehemptive killing for the greater good was not above them, either. Nagant says it best: it's a system with two sides to it. The "good" side, the glorious one that gets the spotlight, made of heroes as saviors and cool fighters who protect people from the bad guys... And then the dark side, the ugly truth that for such neat labels to exist, anything blurring the lines or threatening that artificial peace had to be violently shot in the head for appearances sake. So much so, that even "starting to talk about it" is considered a life sentence.

Enter the League.

This is where things get interesting, because the Lov seems to challenge everything I just went over, at least on the surface.

If it's true that even voicing discontent about the current state of things warrants a quick and covert execution... how come Shigaraki&co could merrily call themselves The League of Villains and put out a whole Manifesto of Everything Wrong with the Hero System without getting their throats cut by a featherblade two days later?

At face value, it might seem like such suppression methods are a thing of the past. They were true once, but now things aren't as dire as they used to be.

Except... This isn't true. It's become a lot subtler than a gun-themed heroine shooting people in the head, true, but... *gestures at Hawks and Twice's subplot* this is still very much a thing. Twice was killed for the threat his quirk at full power posed to hero society.

He wasn't arrested and thrown into Tartarus. He was murdered on the spot for the crime of possessing a dangerous quirk. Not even using it. Possessing it. It couldn't get more obvious if it tried: it's a blantant parallel to Nagant executing that guy above. Again, not for the crime of acting on his subversive ploys. But for discussing them.

Let me clarify that I'm not digging this back up to spark another debate on Ethics and Choices. This fandom has seen enough essays on that already. I'm bringing up the example of Twice specifically because Twice was killed by Hawks, a Commission operative, on Commission's orders. This is significant because it's meant to say more about the institution that regulates heroics more than it does about the victim of their brainwashing.

It's an established unspoken rule that heroes don't kill. The story goes above and beyond to state this. No matter how vile villains are, under normal circumstances they're always captured alive. Take for example All For One. He's arguably much more dangerous than Twice. While it's true that Twice's quirk could potentially overthrow an army and thus throw the nation into chaos, the more doubles he makes, the frailer they become. His strength lies purely in numbers, but a single skilled pro hero was enough to overpower him and render him harmless. AFO, on the other hand, has his finger in every pie and doesn't just rely on a quirk (or five or a dozen) to be dangerous. He has a network of loyal henchmen, he has enough charisma to draw followers to him, and his power extends beyond Japan. It reaches all the way across the ocean and into America. He's feared on a woldwide scale. Yet, he wasn't assassinated on the spot. He was thrown into Tartarus, despite how clear it's now become that keeping him alive was a huge faux pas for the heroes. So why did they?

The reason is simple. It was All Might who brought him in, and not the Commission. We know that they too had their eyes on him,

and it's not hard to guess what Nagant was asked to do if she were to find him. But All Might is no hired gun, and he doesn't answer directly to the HPSC. Thus, AFO got to live, unlike anyone else the Commission deems "a threat."

Now, while Hawks has less of a double life than Nagant, he's still expected to carry out orders for what the Commission decides is the greater good. Just like his predecessor. Since he was taken in as her replacement, the truth of the matter is that he inherited her role as the Hand of the Commission. He handles their dirty laundry, oftentimes against his will,

because it is "necessary" to bring peace.

The only real difference between them is that unlike Nagant, his talents lie more in the reconnaissance and intel gathering fields, so we don't see him act as a hired assassin more than that single time. Yet, I want to underline that the spying he does is still on Commission's orders, and as such, it is instrumental to the Commission's agenda as much as Nagant's assassinations. Besides, the fact that Hawks struck to kill despite his private desire to save Twice further emphasizes that the HPSC hasn't changed overnight simply because their President changed. When an individual becomes too dangerous, too much of a threat to what they've built, the killing order can still be issued—and it has been.

But over time, their need for manifacturing an illusion of peace lessened. I'm not sure how Kaina's and Toshinori's timelines intersect since we aren't given clear ages for either... But... with All Might's rise to the top, organized crime took a beating and dropped at historic lows. As such, I assume there were less and less potential threats to the status quo, and society thrived in actual peace without a need for the Commission to kill people in the shadows.

In fact, organized crime is so outdated that when Shigaraki comes around and starts recruiting allies, what he gathers is a bunch of uncoordinated small fries.

As usual Viz phrases things with zero sympathy for the villains and waters it down to "kicked around" but both the og Japanese and the official Italian translation here say "oppressed". These 72 people followed Shigaraki because they felt the allure of lashing out at hero society. It was a suicide expedition, attacking a school packed with pros, but they still did it. All of them except Shigaraki and Kurogiri were apprehended, with most of them swiftly defeated by a bunch of high school freshmen. We could go as far as calling this first attempt at a villain group disorganized crime.

So between Nagant's and All Might's combined efforts, people who are dissatisfied with hero society have all but stopped gathering together to express those complaints, or to plan an effective way to change things. Either by choice or by force.

This of course doesn't mean society naturally evolved into something everyone's satisfied with. We know from many characters' backstories that despite the front as an utopia, hero society is not devoid of flaws. Inequality and discrimination run rampant, and with them, an anti-establishment sentiment from all those people oppressed or overlooked by it. But by the current point in the story, when the League is officially created, the Commission successfully achieved their goal: making those sociopolitical fringes of the population so small and quiet—as opposed to the all-encompassing faith in heroism—that they've basically become irrelevant. A minority that still exists, but that can be silenced easily with the iron fist of the law if need be.

But then the League went and ruined that. They not only succeeded at spreading fear amongst the population, but they've also exposed all the cracks in the system, rendering it vulnerable. Where fear festers, doubt seeps in. And we've seen what happened when the League was left to grow stronger and stronger. They've eventually gotten strong enough to level cities alone, and they've put enough of a dent in that faith that civilians don't trust heroes by default anymore.

So why are they still breathing? Why did the Commission take the risk of letting them be, allowing them to gather more and more allies and cement themselves as the rulers of the underworld until they became strong enough to potentially destroy the hero system itself?

The noumu. I'm telling you, it's because of the noumu.

No, but seriously. It's really because, at least at first, the League was a relatively small fry, compared to the threat of bioengineered superhumans. Shigaraki didn't leave enough of an impression on the police working on the case to suggest they believed he would make it far. They labeled him an unstable manchild, someone more fearsome on accounts of his ability to just throw noumu at problems than because he was fearsome himself. The only serious threat the League posed at USJ was thanks to that single noumu. Then there's Hosu, and Shigaraki only appears to unleash several weaker, white ones to wreack havoc.

By then, the Commission starts taking an interest in the Lov. We are told that Hawks was supposed to take part in the Kamino raid,

but didn't because he couldn't make it on time.

But interestingly, they also hint that this entire operation was rushed. Storming the place before they could get more intel on the League and on the noumu wasn't the plan. But a student was kidnapped under the pros' noses, and the school was in hot waters with the media for it.

Now, let's consider for a moment UA's status. As one of the most important hero schools in the country, and as the sole one that televises its sport festival every year as a big spectacle on par with the Olympics, UA has both prestige and power. Probably more than other schools, in fact, considering they're always everyone's first choice both when it comes to enrolling in it and when pros needs interns and manpower to thicken their ranks. UA is the dream of many starry eyed kids who hope to make it big in the industry.

Yet, all that prestige and status doesn't stop them from becoming a target for public blame. The fact that the media put the school under scrutiny for how they handled the crisis at training camp is not just bad press for the school. It's also bad press for heroes in general because UA is widely regarded as the pinnacle of the hero industry. They train the best students to become top of the food chain once they reach pro. There's a reason why Bakugou, obsessed with being the best, wanted to enroll in UA and not, say, Shiketsu. UA's name itself is a pun on the Japanese word for "hero" (UA, read as Yuuei, is eiyuu, hero, backwards).

So a failure of the school is a failure that is capable of shaking the trust in heroism itself. And that's precisely what worries the Commission.

After all, we know from later arcs that they don't actually care about endagering students at all. In fact, they're perfectly fine letting kids be on the frontlines of a war without even informing their parents of where their kids are being sent to. So, to tie this back to the question by the journalist above, the Commission isn't interested in reassuring the families of their students that the kids are fine. All they care about is what they've always cared about: spinning a narrative where faith in heroes is justified by results. Since heroes always return from a mission with a victory in the bag, the trust that the public puts in them, and thus the HPSC by association, is well-placed and needs not be questioned.

So when the attack on training camp happens and the heroes face one of their first real losses—26 wounded, 1 kidnapped—the Commission scrambles to fix this PR disaster. Despite the sparse intelligence they have on the League, and despite their own reticence, they greenlight the Kamino raid anyway. They think that what they have is enough to sate the angry media into trusting them again. They'll rescue the kid and thus save face. And if in the process they can apprehend the League and destroy a noumu lab all at once? Even better. But publicly, it's for the kid.

Except, it turns out that the lab was a decoy, and not the original place where the noumu come from. It was planted there as a distraction, or possibly as a storage unit for Shigaraki to use freely, but disposing of it doesn't neutralize the threat of the noumu science itself. And indeed, AFO'S appearance soon after proves just that. He comes with more monsters in tow, and has his own teleporting quirk to move them around. Basically, AFO was playing two moves ahead of the HPSC. And I think Kamino is where the Commission finally realized that, too.

So what do they do next? They show us their real agenda for the first time and plant a mole in the League's ranks.

The primary goal of Hawks' infiltration was always that of finding out the true location of Ujiko's lab. Getting close enough to the League to better get the jump on them when they're vulnerable was only secondary. The proof is that the raid only gets a green light when Twice makes the mistake of mentioning the hospital to Hawks.

And Hawks dutifully relays it to the Commission. Thanks to this intel, they track down the clinic, send an undercover agent, snap a pic of one of the little noumu, and deduce that's where the secret, underground villain lair was all along. And the operation—which is notably issued by the HPSC itself, which entrust it to Endvr—is a go.

And you know what's even more telling? That once Ujiko is safely in hero custody and can no longer make minions for AFO... All the pro heros finally get the authorization to kill the League on sight.

So yeah. That was a really roundabout way of saying that the times where the Commission assassinates its enemies in cold blood are far from over. The League were just lucky to have AFO behind them to buy them time. But eventually, even that ran out, because the HPSC is not, and has never been, sunshine and rainbows and second chances

#bnha meta #meta:bnha society #hero public safety commission #lady nagant #hawks #my post #bnha spoilers #Meta:hawks #Meta:nagant #League of villains #Tsutsumi kaina #Takami keigo

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bandiera--rossa · 7 months

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While reading the works of the medieval Arab sociologist Ibn Khaldun many years ago, I was surprised by his ideas on geography and climate, which attribute not only physical but also sociological patterns for people living in the same climatic region. In short, these ideas suggest that if someone from the extreme Northern Hemisphere moved to the extreme Southern Hemisphere, their surviving descendants would eventually have the same physical and sociological attributes as the people of the Southern Hemisphere. I was fascinated by this concept and at a loss of how anyone in this world could be a racist, knowing they could have mutated into anyone else.

Holding onto this notion and adding to it years of soul-searching, which for being born a Muslim led me to delve into Sufism, I developed the firm belief that all humans are essentially one and that all evil in the world is the result of our division. I was convinced the principal reason people in the Global North condone their armies murdering innocent civilians or the dying of children from hunger in faraway nations is that they are unable to perceive the victims as similar to them and are accordingly unable to empathize with them and feel their pain. If they did, I told myself, most evil in the world would disappear.

That is why I believe that the main objective of the arts should be to humanize those we perceive as different. Being an aspiring novelist myself, I decided that unity and the oneness of being would be the principal theme of all my work.

I can no longer adopt such beliefs and will no longer vouch for those ideas.

It is clear to me now that calling for love and unity does not fall on the oppressed but on the privileged. In the face of the hate or apathy of those who do not feel their suffering or regard them as equal, the persecuted have no choice but to embrace whatever they are persecuted for, ethnic, religious, or else, and accept the division. To vouch for love and unity is a privilege only people in the Global North can now afford. For the rest of us, it is nothing short of weakness and humiliation.

Like most people in the Global South, I am watching with horror the ongoing genocide being perpetrated by Israel in Gaza and the blind, astonishing backing of the majority of governments and mainstream media outlets in the United States and Europe. Like most people in the Global South, I am opening my eyes to the hypocrisy, racism, and ugly confirmation that our lives and deaths are still not valued or regarded as equal. Like most people in the Global South, I am outraged at the narrative of condemning Hamas solely for the attack on October 7, the impudence of acting as if it were unprovoked, and the moral failure to view it in the context of 75 years of dehumanization, colonialism, ethnic cleansing, land theft, violence, torture, and rape at the hands of Israel.

We, who suffered from colonialism, understand that the only party to blame is Israel, the occupying power, simply because if there had been no occupation, there would have been no Hamas. We, who suffered from colonialism, understand that the Hamas combatants who attacked Israel on October 7 did not choose to be resistance fighters and would have had normal lives if they had not been subjected to occupation and living for almost two decades in a concentration camp where more than half of the population were struggling to afford food just before October 7. We, who suffered from colonialism, are well aware of this narrative of blaming the victims and the failure to apply the same moral principles to us.

So, for the people of conscience in the Global North who are standing with the Palestinians in any way they can, for those marching, writing, and speaking up, thank you for giving us hope in humanity in our darkest hour and not allowing us to turn into complete monsters as our enemies want us to.

And for the other ones, for those who are running this horror show in Gaza or facilitating it, for those who are murdering and collectively punishing the innocent men and women and the children of the earth, for those who know there are children trapped in darkness under the rubble of bombed buildings, who are dying of thirst and hunger and are still against a ceasefire, for those who have revealed the wickedness of their hearts and the darkness of their souls, know that we now see you for who you are. The masks have fallen, and millions of us are opening up our eyes to the realization of how much you hate and dehumanize us. Millions of us are radicalized and ready to adopt the ideas and narratives of any group, only if it will fight or oppose you. Whatever doctrine there is — Islamist, Communist, or Nihilist — millions of us are ready to espouse it only if it will take a stand against you.

Palestine now divides us.

We have hate in our hearts, and I promise you that it will remain. And I promise you we will live like this and die like this and pass on our rage and our pain. And we will remain prisoners of our hate, and you will remain prisoners of your crimes and fears, and the violence will go on, and none of us will be free, until there is fairness and until there is justice, and until Palestine is free.

Mohamed Seif El Nasr - an Egyptian writer with an academic background in history and international law.

#Palestine #genocide in gaza #genocide in palestine #colonialism #Mohamed Seif El Nasr

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 month

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Could Cyprus be made a better dad if we forced him to see a psychiatrist? Because to be honest I love him, but it is clear that we will have problems because I have anger issues and I will not be able to handle his personality sometimes and when we had a kid I will never allow him to treat my child harshly, Would it scare him if I threatened to separate if he does not allow me to help him solve his problems? Or is there another better way to talk to him?

I feel like there is only one scenario for me with him: first I slowly discover how his mind works and his problems and then I try to help him, in every possible way because I want to try everything before I completely lose hope in him because I love like that, if he listens to me we will be happy (I feel that this could work and that he would listen to me if I reciprocated his initiatives, and behaved with him like any normal, loving girlfriend would) and if he doesn't -Things will become ugly because I know he won't let me walk out the door just like that😭

Honestly characters like him hurt me a lot and I pity them a lot because I know they are like this because of problems caused to them by people in their childhood and when they were adults, no one showed a healthy interest in him. like his exes: They all wanted something from him but they didn't want him for him, they didn't care what kind of influence they had on him, No one cared to talk to him about his psychological wounds, His trauma shaped his mentality, and I want to be the first person to help him, or at least try!

tw: afab reader, cyprus is a bigot

Well, the problem is that he doesn't believe that there is anything wrong with him. You could successfully drag him to a psychiatrist by threatening to leave, but he would simply pretend that he's listening to the one trying to talk to him. Meanwhile, his mind is thinking about eating your cunt out for dinner.

If he's being prescribed medication, he will pretend to take them, but throw them out when you or your kid isn't looking.

Cyprus is stubborn, strongly opinionated, and unwilling to change his views unless he experiences the prejudices himself. This is unlikely, as he is a straight, cis male who never had any doubts about his sexual or gender identity.

But there is still hope, though. Fully understanding his brain and how his logic operates before moving on to try and better him would work, but you would essentially need to be just a level below Yves to pull that off. It does help that Cyprus values your feelings somewhat; he definitely considered it more important than your child's.

He doesn't like to see his wife frowning and stressed, hence you could use that as your leverage. You will need a lot of time, patience, and empathy to merely scratch the surface of his mind fortress. Which to the majority, isn't worth all the effort just to make Cyprus tolerate certain populations of the world. But at least he wouldn't sever ties with his flesh and blood just because they're not born into the right body.

However, deep down, he hasn't let go of the hatred and bitterness in his heart. He's only doing this for you.

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere x you #male yandere oc x reader #tw yandere #yandere concept #yandere oc x reader #tw afab reader #tw transphobia #tw homophobia #oc cyprus #oc yves

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female-malice · 2 years

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Opinion on women with higher testosterone levels being able to compete or not compete with other women? And intersex females?

"Women with higher testosterone levels" is a fictional problem used by TRAs to divert attention away from males. As someone who watches a ton of women's sports, this is not a real problem.

Right now, the real problem is there are males competing in women's sports.

Women's sports is for females. People who were born female, go through female puberty, and then have athletic careers.

And then there's the males who find their way into women's sports. Males like Lia Thomas and Caster Semenya. These two athletes have extremely different life circumstances. But they have some things in common. Both of these males identify as women. And they both went through male puberty.

Caster Semenya is frequently mislabeled as an intersex female. This is not correct. Caster is an intersex male with 5-alpha reductase deficiency. Caster has the exact same advantage from male puberty that Lia Thomas has. Just because Caster was raised as a woman, that does not erase biological advantage.

Intersex females competing is another fictional problem used by TRAs to divert attention away from males. Most people know very little about intersex conditions and assume it means "halfway between male and female." But that is not how genetic disorders work at all. Actual intersex female conditions do not offer much athletic advantage. Many of these conditions effect health in a way that would make a professional athletic career extremely challenging.

99.98% of women have 46 XX SRY- dyadic female genes. And these genes are extremely diverse. There is way more genetic variation among dyadic females than among dyadic males.

But there is much more social acceptance of dyadic male genetic variation. There are huge male athletes like Andre the giant, Shaq, and Boban Marjanovic. These guys are over 7 feet tall. And when they open their mouths and speak, their voices are impossibly low. They sound like their voices are being digitally lowered for a giant character in a fantasy film. But that's just the normal voice that comes out of them.

No one questions whether Andre, Shaq, and Boban have some fantastical intersex condition. When people meet a 7'4" man, they aren't surprised to hear a voice lower than every other male. The look at the size of the guy and go "yeah, that voice makes sense."

But then giant 6'9" female athletes like Han Xu and BG open their mouths and speak with low female voices. And everyone loses their minds about it.

Even though women have more variety than men, society only allows women to look one way. Dyadic female genetic diversity and uniqueness is marginalized in every sector of society except for sports. In sports, ideally, everyone is sorted by merit. Women who don't get promoted in other fields because of their looks do get promoted in sports through merit.

So when TRAs say "what about women with higher testosterone? what about intersex females?" what they're really saying is "what about all these ugly brawny women who are good at sports? They seem like men! Males should be allowed to compete against them if they want to!"

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castlevaniacentral · 7 months

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Little authors note: This story mentions some touchy topics such as slavery, and dark details of abuse. The Character in this story is more of a POC (all poc females included in this!!! wasn't specific with a race. I just wanted to give us a chance <;3) and there is some Christian metaphors here just wanted to see if i could go a different route. And dive deep into the plot and the ideologies. I hope you all enjoy this fanfic as much as i like writing it.

The Sunrise May never be mine

Prologue. 'what do i know, for i am just what you see'

𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐓 14𝖷𝖷

There it was. Something you weren’t particularly looking for but had found its way to you. Like an echo repeating your name. A call from destiny that sounded directionless. You rubbed your sore wrist, the shackles still holding you; though you weren’t chained, in your mind. It was just as good as you were.

But there it was…

A chance to finally escape, to make it out. To possibly go back home. Though that wasn’t possible for now. You were far far away from home. Now you technically didn’t even have one. And it is such a distant memory, that now, you're not even sure if a home exists out there for you.

cause you don't fit in.

Your armour glistened at you as you stared back at it— locked away in a glass case. You were a case study, or in this case, a part of one. You were born with powers. Many would look at you and call you a witch. But oddly, you didn’t practice witchcraft or spells or any of the sort. These were powers that you were just born with. Gifted with. Not something you learned over time. It’s been with you for as long as you can remember.

You hid these powers from a young age, but you couldn’t help but summon these powers embedded deep within you from your ancestors but...You were born into a Christian family.

Magic was frowned heavily upon in the century, your father turned his nose up at you, and left you when you were young. But your mother reminded you that the family power could only be a gift from God and only he could allow you to bear it.

“Use your powers to protect. Like an angel you are to defend the innocent from the demons that haunt the night” 'But mother,’ ' you have no choice, soften your heart to others. Live compassionately so that you may be able to wear the armour and help others.'

as much as you remember, it was picky. You could only bare it if you held a pure mindset to world. The minute your heart turned bitter, and your being corrupted- the magic would be with you no longer. You wouldn’t be able to wear the armour.

But to make matters even worse, as loving as your family was and as generous as they were. You were a slave, and freedom hadn’t been in your grasp for your lifetime.

You swallowed your saliva, staring at the armour longingly, it belonged to you rightfully so. Passed down from your great-grandmother to your mother. You were sure she had powers of her own. She could grow a garden with her bare hands.

you wouldn’t consider her a witch. But the mistress of the house would, and the sire. Two entitled rich people once again enslaved a culture that wasn’t theirs to destroy. Owning them, ripping them from any root or connection of their identity. Making them a puppet for their amusement. Erasing the identity of theirs that they refer to as complex or not fitting to the standards of their simplicity.

Making them…’normal’

Oh, how you disliked the word. It would never fit you, your skin was too dark, your undertone too golden. Your hair too untamed, your figure too curvy. How little freckles and moles littered your beauty in delicate spots. Your frame was too much for the men of the house being forced to wear ugly rags and to cover your hair to not look attractive. Because after all you were just a lousy servant for them

Your mother had rooted you deep in what You were. Though as the days went by without her, it seemed as though the roots that had grown you began to wither and dry up. You couldn't read, you couldn't write, heck you could barely even speak proper sentences, they were quick and short but you had understanding.

For as much as she taught you to love yourself. You quietly never did. In the back of your mind you wished you were something else. Someone else.

Why couldn’t you be born as someone else? Anything but the filthy human being you were. You loathed the very thing that made you unique…that made you different.

Cause look at the position it put you in.

Your fist slightly shook, the nails digging into your now white palms drawing blood. Because of who you were, you couldn’t take back what made you what you were.

The scripts, the ancient lore of your people, the stories, the greatness. The jewellery…

The sweat…the blood

And the tears.

You stood in front of what belonged to your family rightfully. Stored in a case as A monument for the family that owned yours.

it held magic, and they knew it. Because the family that held your family hostage were witches themselves. Trying to understand the power of yours that flowed so effortlessly without incantations or symbols. They took your family's possessions hostage and then them. Your family was cursed to only be able to use their magic through this armour.

Once a member of this bloodline put on a piece of this armour it would conform to them, becoming a fit just for their time being. Molding onto their skin and burning an incantation into it. You and the armour would become one once it was put on.

" Because of fear, long ago, our family was forced to become weaker. We’ve been enslaved here for years. Through this armour lies our strength. If you wear a piece of this armour you'll have power. You don't need to wear the whole thing to bare it's energy. "

your mothers teachings stick with you, as you analyze the silver plates. she didn't get to bear the armour either.

The armour whispered your name in a hundred million soft small voices.

The family that had enslaved your family, came as good, they helped your family they were 'kind' you honestly could have had it worse. Sure they fed you scraps let you sleep in the farmhouse, made you do all the labour but..

they kept you at least. Though they beat you mercilessly they…fed you.

you close your eyes, turning your back to the armour before walking off. You didn't want to stay there in the grand hall any longer, may someone catch you there idling not doing your duties.

The years had passed by in a blur, you wouldn't have remembered that you had a birthday or even had to count your age. if it wasn't for your mother reminding you how happy she was to have you. "...you're wonderful girl aren't you. Here..eat more of my share. Its your birthday today. You should eat more!"

she pushed forward the scraps to you, the bones of the leftover meat and bread crust sat poorly in the metal tin. The meals the masters had were lavish and healthier looking than this. But you couldn't complain because at least they were giving you some.

looking at your thin and tired mother you smiled at her wearily. "you eat." you said abruptly, your mother in turn only offered you a smile. it was so heartwarming, you found home in a smile like that. it wasn't the place or dwelling that made home for you. It was your mother and her comfort.

you were tending to the horses in the stable, gently patting one black horses head you softly hummed, " ash, hungry?" you gently glided your slim hand over the neck of the horse, who only allowed itself to be caressed by your gentle touch.

"not talking tonight huh?" chuckling you stepped away turning to pick up the bucket of feeding before pausing as your eyes caught view of light coming towars the manor. Slowly lowering the bucket from your grasp you squinted in attempts to see further. like that would work

but once your eyes could make out the view of the light coming closer. It quickly came to you...it wasn't just light. It was torches, it was the church with torches, the so-called priest who guarded the catholic church. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly

this meant they were coming to collect the family...most likely for witch craft. "eat" you dropped the feeding to the ground before taking off in a hurry towards the manor, if you could cut across the field.

you'd make it in time! just in time to warn them. That they were coming.

Sprinting off with all your might you huffed through the fields, your hair bouncing with your sudden and rapid movements. Your heart was racing, it started racing the moment you noticed the priest. But... now it was even worse, felt like it was about to fall out of your chest.

you quickly ran up the stairs towards the grand entrance, stumbling through the doors as you looked for your masters. "master! the church!!! coming!" you blurted out through your heavy panting.

"i know." the mistress stated with a smog smirk, as she ascended down the stairs with her husband behind her arms behind his back. "they're coming to try your family for witchcraft."

you paused, "what..do you mean...you guys practice this?..." you stood up straight your face contorting into pure confusion and misunderstanding. "yes, and if they had known they would have trailed us. But we took precautions into letting the church know it was your mother. as far as they know. Anything they may come across here that is magic. Is because her."

you violently shook your head at her words, "No! you can't thats not fair!" you shouted, and just then the priest spoke at the door. " we have come lady Esmeralda. Show us the witch."

"oh priest! i'm so glad you've come! They've been plaguing our home with spells and incantations! i fear being here! just the though of it sends me into a frenzy!"

you didn't know what to say to this running down the hall you decided to look for your mother, "Mom!" you screamed out looking through the rooms hastily. As the priest and your masters gathered at the entrance of the manor.

maybe if you could find her before them? maybe you and her could just run for it? before you knew it you found yourself tripping over the rug in the hall. Your body collided with the ground in a loud thud, just before the large glass case you always admired.

if there was any time now would be time to break it. or so, you thought.

A large gold vase caught your attention as you stood up. You immediately grabbed it and threw it at the large case, shattering the glass at the instant the gold contacted it. As the armour crumbled to the ground, you reached for the armour right away. After all it was just a piece you needed right? Scrambling to put it on your arms, you panted. you were far too desperate to put on the whole thing right now, after all you just needed the magic! just to save your mother

Then, after a brief pause, you turned back to the entrance and ran as quickly as you could. The breath leaving your body steadily heaved as you mumbled out of desperation, "Don't be...late.".

but...

by the time you reached the entrance, they already had her. A noose around her neck the rope was already slung over the tree.

what was this? they weren't even going to take her into the town square? just here? they were going to kill her mother here!? right here on this land that she so fruitfully brought back to life? these people? were going to do it right now?

you dropped to your knees. Your body shaking now, you weren't sure if this was adrenaline or pure distraught. Tears couldn't form or any words, you were a scrambled mess, looking for some sort of sign. and Some sort of help.

"NO!" you screamed out, pleading from the steps as you stumbled forward before tumbling down the concrete flight of stairs. Hitting the bottom with a loud thud, you squawked out, hearing a snap come from your arm.

Now forcing yourself up you screamed again "Please don't" You tried to stand, sobs now leaving your already heaved burning chest. You raised an arm as if the attempt of your arm of your hand being held out would magically stop what was transpiring in front of you.

"mom!" you screamed out, as her tired head lifted to see you struggling to come forth to her. She only smiled at you, which caused your heart to shatter even more. And before you were even close, The men pulled the rope lifting your mother off her feet and into the air by her neck.

Watching as her eyes strained and turned red, she gasped for air that she knew would not come. Holding your arm you charged forward before you were grabbed by a man who appeared to be with the church. Manhandling you, he threw you to the ground. Your thin body slams into the cold muddy ground. But your eyes didn't leave your mother not once.

not as she struggled in the air, her body twitching to find ease in her miserable state. "God no..." you sobbed out, tears coating your delicate face. "stop.." your mothers once bright eyes now red and bludged from suferaction. Her lips turned blue before her final moments, as she went limp.

the fear in you had turned to pure rage. Screaming out you pushed the man that held you captive. The ground rumbled underneath the feet of accusers. Immediately he turned back to you "another witch capture her!" You struggled but stood up fast, taking off down the field once more.

you didn't know where but you knew you had to flee. Running to the stables you went as fast as you could. Hoping you could go even faster because of the men who followed in behind you.

"ash!" you scream running towards the stable as the hose ran out to greet you. You climb ontop, "Yah!' you yell out as the horse stands on its rear legs before taking off into words near the estate. You clutched onto it for dear life. You had no direction, nowhere to go, no money no food. Just armour...that you didn't even know how to control

you sobbed loudly as the horse galloped through the uneven paths, 'Mom." you mumbled out your voice now strained, your father had been bought off, and now your mother was dead.

there was nothing left of you here...maybe you should have just let them capture you and hang you too...

you thought...your flushed cheeks now laying on the black full mane of the horse.

and this would only be the beginning of your trials.

#adrian tepes x reader #alucard x reader #castlevania x reader #castlevania alucard #alucard tepes x reader #alucard castlevania

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esther-dot · 11 months

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Idk how attractive jon is supposed to be but he has the stark look and sansa has a thing for the stark look, i mean look at waymar and loras, their descriptions match jon's exactly. Sansa's opinion at the end of the day>>>

I love Sansa’s Waymar and Loras crushes! So cute! I kinda think a good part of what attracts Sansa to any given guy is the romantic notions she can attach to them, not strictly their physical appearance? So while I certainly agree with the Jon and Waymar parallels and think martin intentionally wrote similarities between Jon and her crushes, I believe her romanticized view of knight was a factor as well. Personally, I wish Martin talked about Sansa’s body/ how beautiful she is a lot less, so this isn't a topic I enjoy discussing, but the convo kicked off because of a poll and here’s a screenshot of my totally unremarkable tags:

And here’s what an angry Jon fan posted because they didn’t like the tags on the poll:

They go on to criticize other tags by Sansa fans/Jonsas, but mine were based on specific lines from the books because the question wasn’t vibes but canonical beauty, and it so happens, these are lines I am very fond of because I love NedCat:

And was it really such a terrible thing, to want a pretty wife? She remembered her own childish disappointment, the first time she had laid eyes on Eddard Stark. She had pictured him as a younger version of his brother Brandon, but that was wrong. Ned was shorter and plainer of face, and so somber. He spoke courteously enough, but beneath the words she sensed a coolness that was all at odds with Brandon, whose mirths had been as wild as his rages. Even when he took her maidenhood, their love had more of duty to it than of passion. We made Robb that night, though; we made a king together. And after the war, at Winterfell, I had love enough for any woman, once I found the good sweet heart beneath Ned's solemn face. (ASOS, Catelyn V)

It’s a beautiful passage with a lovely sentiment, so I take exception to classifying this as petty fandom shit when there was nothing intentionally insulting behind what I said, I just think Cat's thoughts about a man she dearly loves were pertinent. Also, Jon’s Stark looks are a big R+L=J clue which is teased a lot in AGOT so it’s intentional and important:

The boy absorbed that all in silence. He had the Stark face if not the name: long, solemn, guarded, a face that gave nothing away. Whoever his mother had been, she had left little of herself in her son. "What are you reading about?" he asked. (AGOT, Tyrion II)

Martin described Jon’s face the same way he does Ned’s here, although the point was ha ha! he has the Stark look not because of his father but because of his mother, Lyanna.

Jon had their father's face, as she did. They were the only ones. Robb and Sansa and Bran and even little Rickon all took after the Tullys, with easy smiles and fire in their hair. (AGOT, Arya I)

Arya heard and whirled around, glaring. "I don't care what you say, I'm going out riding." Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful. (AGOT, Sansa I)

Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier if Arya had been a bastard, like their half brother Jon. She even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. (AGOT, Sansa I)

"Lyanna might have carried a sword, if my lord father had allowed it. You remind me of her sometimes. You even look like her." (AGOT, Arya II)

Now, Ned goes on to say Lyanna is beautiful so a lot of fans really emphasize that and say it means Jon and Arya are/will be attractive, and maybe! It doesn't bother me for people to read it that way, but if you look at the other uses of long face in ASOIAF, or the Stark look, I think it indicates, it's not particularly attractive, and one might even say, it's unremarkable. I didn’t say ugly, its simply unexceptional imo. Obviously the horsey face/horse faced stuff is an insult so we don't have to take that to be a neutral assessment, but I don't think it actually means pretty either, not when you look at how it's used elsewhere.

Anyway, it doesn't matter if Jon is handsome or not because we all were supposed to have already learned that what matters is who he is, not his face. So, while I have no investment in how attractive/unattractive these characters are, I imagine that Jon being Jon is what will make Sansa fall for him, not how pretty he is. Something that might sound kinda like this:

I had love enough for any woman, once I found the good sweet heart beneath Ned's Jon's solemn face

#jonsa #nedcat #r+l=j #book jon #dot chat #discourse #< for filtering

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just-antithings · 5 months

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The really sick thing about people saying Ringo from Blue Eye Samurai isn't shippable is that in Edo era Japan, he and Mizu are both considered hinin: not people at all, not human in the eyes of society, due to being disabled and being mixed race respectively. Hinin were not permitted to marry outside of others in that caste in a highly stratified society with very little room for upward mobility. So not only is that rhetoric ableist, it's basically turning to the world and going, "And when people in the show say he's not a person because he doesn't have hands, they're pretty much right; Mizu isn't in the hinin tier for me, but the man without hands is, so they shouldn't be together." While you could, in theory, counter-argue by pointing out that they're both hinin, you could also watch the fucking show and realize that an ongoing theme is that your caste means nothing whatsoever in terms of determining if you're a good person or not, if you have worth, or if you should be forbidden/allowed to do certain things.

Much like prior anon I don't even ship it and I'm angry about it just on principle. Who the fuck are they, are any of us, to say that a man born without hands isn't deserving of a relationship? We know canonically Mizu doesn't agree with that! Mizu buys Ringo three nights with prostitutes in episode one (it makes sense in context), clearly the idea of him as untouchable isn't one the other person in this pairing supports. Hell, even the prostitutes, in the little we see of them, think there's nothing wrong with touching him and aren't repulsed by him being born without hands.

Yeah, Ringo calls himself deformed*, but... IDK, I thought it was pretty clear watching the show that this was framed as an incorrect statement. He has some self-worth issues after being mistreated by others, he's not actually deformed or so hideous he can't be loved.

The only people who argue anyone can be too ugly to be loved are villains in the show who are some of the worst, most despicable characters ever written. It's kind of mind-blowing to see people who are echoing those sentiments.

(* Actual disabled people feel free to weigh in on if a disabled man in the 1630's in Japan calling himself deformed is offensive; I'm not disabled, so IDK how y'all feel about that line. But Mizu doesn't agree with him in-universe that he's deformed when he says it.)

#mod erin #ask #just anti things #posted without comment #ableism

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leupagus · 1 year

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Live Gus Reacts! After a nap

So this one isn't going to be long because my carpal tunnel is acting up, but I loved this episode. Yes, there were some after-school-special elements, but I think Chuck Hayward knocked it out of the park, especially considering this was his only screenplay for this show (of course, he's won Emmys for Wandavision and is about to run his own show so dude knows what he's about). It felt much more interwoven than last week's, and certainly flowed a lot better.

I'm hilarified that Edyta Budnik's Polish background was used for Jade's character, similar to how most of the Richmond players' actual backgrounds are used on the show (and why I had her reading a book in Polish in the WifeGuy fic I'm writing). I will say that Rupert, specifically, clocking that was an interesting moment because there is a very real (and ugly) history of prejudice against Polish immigrants in England; Rupert was not being charming there, by any means. The whole interaction with Rupert and Nate in this episode was really fascinating, because Rupert's clearly alarmed at the fact that Nate is getting outside support — he was so effective at cutting Nate completely off from everyone at Richmond, but here Nate is, building his own network here (Roger's invitation suggests to me that this isn't the first time Nate's been out with the West Ham staff/team after a game). And for Rupert, that's unacceptable — Nate's become as much a "possession" to him as Rebecca once was, so he's going to try his best to keep Nate isolated. Unfortunately for him, Nate is still The Great and is learning to balance his newfound pride with his enduring kindness. So however that shakes out will be fun to watch, I think. (All the fingers crossed that it ends with Rupert getting struck by lightning, because really how could you improve on mardia's masterpiece.)

One thing I hate about this storyline, though, is that Nick Mohammed is still having to field abuse from racist fans who think he hasn't "atoned" enough to be allowed happiness or character growth; I love seeing more of Nate, but not at the expense of Mohammed having to deal with this bullshit.

Re: the Colin storyline, I can't really say whether or not it was handled well or poorly, because my personal reaction to it has overwritten that kind of objective analysis. I've read a few reactions, which run the gamut, and I can see how those scenes may have left people disappointed/elated/angry/satisfied. For me, knowing that this episode was written by a Black man my age, from my mom's alma mater (and uhhhh glad to see they changed the mascot from when she went there) and that he and Dylan Marron were the two writers "in charge" of Colin's storyline does make me more inclined to see the choices — Ted's ridiculous Denver Broncos analogy, Isaac's lashing out and somewhat remedial "how does gay work" questions — as deliberate explorations of how straight men can and do react to finding out their friend is gay: not perfectly or even well, but borne out of love and respect and desire to protect. I was very grateful that the entire team immediately accepted Colin, because the last thing I wanted in that moment was "realism." Ditto with Colin's playing improving in the second half of the game, now that his two lives are (at least partially) connected; that's likely not what would happen IRL but I didn't care, even a little bit.

I'll admit I VERY much dig Rebecca as Tough Mom character this season; she's been doling out some extremely good advice to people, and it's delightful to me. Yes, she's a main character who's not getting enough to do, but like Ted I think the show still works when she's not in the spotlight, and when she gets to be the one offering support rather than needing it. And I adore her and Roy's weird-ass relationship, it's just incredible to get these glimpses into how they see each other.

Other than that: Sam giving Jamie the middle finger AND a beautiful smile was amazing, Jamie being pleased to be clocked as queer was interesting, the Higgins And Rebecca Buddies Fun Time is still great, and I want every one of Trent Crimm's t-shirts. And a clementine.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #believe mothereffers #also did anyone else notice Michelle's absolutely exhausted 'please ted we gotta let the teacher go' tone #like god bless and I love Ted dearly #but Ted when he's in full Win You Over mode really is EXHAUSTING

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misguidedasgardian · 2 months

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The Lifeaters (II.3)

III. The Hallowe'en feast

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: If you thought you were in for an easy year, you were wrong

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia,

Wordcount: 2,1 k

Notes: I know that is a ghost that tells them the story of the chamber of secrets, but I wanted to keep the scene of the movie instead, so they are all together

“Why did you call Granger that?”, you whispered to Draco at breakfast, it had been bothering you for a couple of weeks now, and he had been repeating it while he was with you and the rest of the group

“You mean a mudblood? because she is one!”, he said simply

“It’s an ugly word”, you whispered, he frowned at you

“She is a dirty blood, her parents are muggles”, he said, and then he turned to look at Goyle as if the matter was settled

You started questioning things… Your family’s best friends were the Malfoys, and they spoke like that. You had never heard your aunt speak with that… language… but… if she only hung around with pure-blooded families, did she think the same things?

Was it really that bad? to be a muggle-born?

It seemed to you that it was almost like… bad luck… because they didn’t understand your world…

Magic could be in a family for generations, all muggle families that had a Wizard or Witch as a child, it meant that at some point some wizard or witch had married into their family… that magic ran into their blood as well, so… why was it so bad? It was not their fault! Who cares? all magic was beautiful, and it chose to show itself in certain people… that made them special. You had never interacted much with Muggles, but they didn’t seem evil to you

But that is what you thought

Perhaps it was bad, you’d need to ask your aunt…

Perhaps they were trying to take over your world like uncle Lucius said when you were eavesdropping with Draco their adult conversations. He said that the muggle would want us weakened, and eventually all magic would cease to exist.

But if a child with muggle parents could develop magic… wouldn’t that mean that the magic would never cease to exist?

You just shrugged and preferred to focus on something else, perhaps during Christmas break you could ask your aunt about it.

You kept reading the chapter for History of Magic

“Did you know that wands were an English invention?”, you asked Draco

“I read that too”, said Blaise

“What does that mean?”, he asked putting his chin on your shoulder

“That not all countries use them, its says here that only North America, and Europe, and some countries in south america, where they have strong British influence, in Africa for example, they don’t use them”, you muttered

“And what do they use?”

“Their hands!”, you answered happily, “they are known for using A LOT of hand signals, isn’t it cool?”

“It's weird!”, drawled Draco, and the matter was settled

Practices with the Quidditch team were going so well! you had finally able to relax and Adrian and Marcus had created special training for you, due to being their fellow chaser and like they say they needed to make you stronger in the arms, so you were beating bludgers alongside the beaters and it was lots of fun, you and Draco were learning a lot.

Sometimes the boys were a bit rough, and you have to admit, they committed a lot of infractions, but you were still trying to keep it clean despite it.

And soon, the first month is gone and Hallowe’en is coming! your favorite holiday

Professor Snape warned you over all others to not enchant pumpkins this year, even though last year it was a lot of fun, you guessed he didn’t found it funny when your pumpkin told him he looked like a dehydrated crow

But you had a chance of seeing Hagrid’s Pumpkin patch AND THEY LOOKED HUGE! Gigantic even, you believed he was not allowed to use magic but perhaps he was just very good at gardening

They were rumors of a big celebration, and even a presentation in the great hall the night of Halloween, you were looking forwards to

So after a particular hard class of potions, you were finally ready to celebrate. You were happy because even if you tried as hard as you could, thing didn’t always go well, and professor Snape didn’t seem to care

If you were useless in potions he became really angry at you, but if you were really good also he dismissed you as a “know it all”, but this time you believed he really saw how hard you tried, instead of snapping at you for doing something wrong, he actually just sighed loudly and taught you how to do it properly

That was a first!

That only made the celebration even better!

On the very last day of October Hagrid placed his gigantic pumpkins, they were so big, three people could fit inside, you wondered if you brought them to life… how would they speak and what would they talk about?

The feast as always was incredible. This year, everything looked spooky, even though it tasted delicious, you had mummy fingers that were just sausages covered in dough, you had against the same jellies that looked like eyes… and more!

“That little mudblood isn’t here”, muttered Draco with a smirk, you noticed you were a bit “Taller” in the ladder, now you and Draco sat almost in the middle of the large table, between the Quidditch team and the second years, so you were near your friends, Pansy and Daphne appreciated the upgrade, as the former tried by every mean talk to Flint, she asked him question about Quidditch and such.

“Weasley isn’t either”, mocked Pucey, “maybe he is still throwing up slugs!”

“That was disgusting”, you whined, finally able to start on dessert, deciding for a beautifully red apple dipped in green caramel, making it look like it was poisonous

“I can't wait for the match, to show those Gryffindors who really is the best team here, we are clearly superior”, continued your friend. Matthew, who showed no preference before for Quidditch, now he seemed really interested. And he was playing along with Draco in this new found distaste for Muggleborns, something you didn’t want to take part in.

Before this year you didn’t even think about muggle born or even muggles, and you didn’t like all the questions you had asked yourself, you preferred them to keep them to yourself, and ignore it altogether

When you were enjoying dessert, Professor Dumbledore stood up and gave a small introduction, and to everyone’s delight a troupe of dancing skeletons showed up, entering dancing and juggling, making everyone had a good laugh

You had never seen anything like it!

The entire night sky of the hall shined brighter than ever, and the candles that light up over the tables were pumpkins too.

Oh how you loved Hallowe’en!

It was the weekend, which meant that tomorrow you didn't have classes, so the curfew was a bit more flexible if you stayed in your common room. So you and your friends grabbed what you could from the table, all the sweets you could carry, Pansy and Daphne took pitches of pumpkin juice, (which this night in particular you have even more of because of all the pumpkin that had been carved) and started your way back to the Slytherin Common room for a night of games and conversation.

But as you were starting to descend the main set of stairs of the castle, you heard a commotion upstairs. And as curious as you were, you trotted up the stairs to see what was going on

You gasped when you saw it…. bright words were written in the wall, so far up no person could have written them without help

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED.

ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE

“What is that?”, you murmured, and your eyes catched something else beneath the horrible writing, there, by the torch bracket, a cat was hanging, looking dead

You grabbed onto Draco as tears filled your eyes

Who could have murdered a cat? was it Mrs Norris?

“Enemies of heir beware?”, asked Draco loudly, he then looked nastily at Granger, who was there right there and center, alongside Potter and Weasley, “you’ll be next mudbloods!”, he threatened. You didn’t even knew what that meant

Filch came in next, and when he realized whose cat was dangling there by its tail, he grabbed Potter by his robes

“You murdered my cat!”, he threatened, “I’ll kill you!”

“Argus!”, you actually felt scared for his life, but Dumbledore showed up. “She is not dead”, he said after checking the cat, “only petrified, we will be able to cure her… right Professor Sprout?”, he asked. But Filch was beyond upset. He turned and looked around, saw all the students standing there, and decided to go elsewhere

They, alongside Lockheart, grabbed Filch, Potter, Granger, Weasley and Mrs Norris to the office right upstairs

You were ushered back to your respective common rooms

The entire school had witnessed it

You suddenly didn’t want to eat more treats, but you did want to know more, so you were somehow forced to partake in the late evening that your friends had prepared. You hang around the sofas some on the floor and started chatting

“Is there some nutter going around petrifying people?”, you asked, frightened

“And apparently it will be targeting mudbloods!”, said Draco like he just received the best news he could ever get

“Why?”, you ask, “why would you know? Do you know what a chamber of secrets is?”

Too many questions, so little answers, but everyone seemed to be truly relaxed, and not concerned at all

“You have nothing to worry about, you are a pure blooded witch, and only mudblood are in real danger”, Draco whispered to you.

“Aren’t you scared that something is out there petrifying people?”, you asked back

“Like I say, we, have nothing to worry about”, he seemed like he knew something, and the fact that he wouldn’t tell you scared you even more, he told you everything!

The very next monday, you had transfigurations with Professor McGonaggal, and even though you were asking her if you would hurt Umbra if you turned her into a cup of water… Granger had more interesting things to ask her.

“Does this make them hurt?”, you asked worried, looking at your own, when Granger raised her hand

“Yes Mrs Granger?”

“I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of secrets”, she asked, Draco by your side raised his eyesight, very interested

“Very well”, said the professor, after gazing upon all of you with waning eyes, “You all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago… by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuf, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin”, it was odd how she paused after saying the name of your own founder, “Now three of the founders coexisted quite harmoniously, one did not…”

“Three guesses who”, mocked Weasley

“Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all-magic families, in other words… pure bloods”, she told you all, you saw Draco smirk, “Unable to persuade the others, he decided to leave the school…”, you took a long breath of air, feeling the next part was the important bit. “Now, according to the legend, Slytherin had build a secret chamber within this castle, known as the chamber of secrets, though shortly after departing he sealed it, until that time when his own true heir returned to the school”, you gasped, completely wrapped into the story, “the heir alone would be able to open the chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing… purge the school of all those who in Slytherin view, were unworthy to study magic”

“Muggleborns”, completed Granger. Professor McGonaggal nodded, she was truly concerned

“Well, naturally the school has been searched many times”, she said surely, “no such Chamber has been found”, she said wanting to reassure you, or perhaps herself

“Professor”, oh for once, you were thankful for Granger’s insistence, “what exactly does legend tell us lies within the Chamber?”

“Well, the Chamber is said to be home to something that only the Heir of Slytherin can control. It is said to be the home of a monster”, you felt the eyes of Granger on your form, and she was looking at you both, you turned to Draco, and it turns out, he was the one looking at her threateningly

The class was quite boring after that

Weasley looked back at you both in terror, and Draco, to fuel his fears, only smirked at him, you could only guess that the Gryffindors were now going to say that he was the heir to Slytherin

#misguidedlifeaters #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter and the chamber of secrets #harry potter #draco malfoy #theodore nott #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #daphne greengrass

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thedawningofthehour · 8 months

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hello ! this topic is very interesting I wish the show was allowed to delve into it more :<

I don't think the Hamato have inbreeding as miss Karai ditched the Foot and didn't have a clan, so how did she make a whole new one ? she might ve started with a few members of the Foot who ALSO didn't like the Shredder as jōnin enough to leave . the Foot were just running around ruining villages , right ? I think that karai would recruit the besieged villages and its families to fight against the Shredder , considering the Shredder just destroyed everything of theirs , and said clan would join with karai . she kept doing this , following the foot's assaults and adding more people to her hamato clan until they had enough members to actually function and fight the Foot . maybe how she began was different though. maybe karai didn't take any old Foot members with her and took refuge in a different village / clan she came to know and they joined her cause , becoming the first hamato . maybeI think the hamato in the 1500s were a collection of unrelated clans and families that banded together with shared values . so a hamato back then could marry within the clan without it being incestuous bc lots of hamato were unrelated but still obviously part of the hamato clan and the clan was huge and had so many members . for some reason , the hamato declined in numbers maybe progressively or their numbers were decimated during key events and so marrying within the clan was no longer possible bc everybody in the hamato was related at that point . sho is likely one of those hamato who had to have a kid with an outsider (someone not BORN into the clan) and atsuko was too and obviously yoshi would've had to be with an outsider as well . i bet Sho's parents also couldn't marry within the clan and one was an outsider .

I don't think the hamato would have an issue with outsiders but it just shows how tiny and vulnerable the clan is now , they can't even have hamato × hamato children anymore .

...you guys really want to convince yourself that inbreeding only happened with ugly rich people, huh?

Okay, for starters, if this is about the 'Splinter is an only child because inbreeding' thing-that was a joke. I do not actually think they were inbred to the point of the Hasburgs. For one, Draxum literally targeted Splinter because of his incredible genetics, and I doubt 'incredibly inbred' was one of his criteria. But also, shit like the Hasburgs happened after multiple generations of very close inbreeding, and that only happened because of royal family 'pure bloodline' shit. Humans generally avoid doing that, because of the obvious. The Hasburgs were very dedicated to being as inbred as they could be. And I guess it's not out of the question that the Hamato clan did the same but it seems like kind of a drastic assumption to make.

As for less severe inbreeding-guys, you do realize that everyone on earth is like...at most a fiftieth cousin to you, right? Chances are your parents and their parents and whatnot are significantly closer. We are all a little inbred. Humans have insanely low genetic diversity-that's actually why inbreeding is so disastrous for us, our gene pool is already so small.

Also, just think about the life you lead now and how it differs from how humans have lived for thousands of years. The majority of humans living in big cities verses agrarian settlements is a new thing. Meeting people and marrying people from hundreds of miles away was not the norm. For most of human history, people were born and lived and fucked and died all within the same general region. Travel was generally done on foot, especially for peasants, or maybe by mount or boat. And these small towns generally had even lower population density than small towns today-no big apartment buildings, sewage became an unpleasant problem if things became too crowded, etc. Villages and smaller towns usually had maybe a few dozen families at most, and barring the odd newcomer (or war or famine that caused your entire village to disperse and move) you were stuck with them your entire life.

Even assuming that all these families were unrelated to start-which they almost certainly weren't-it would only take a few generations for them to all be related to each other. Even people from the next village over, they still probably have a recent common ancestor with you. Unless you snagged that one guy who moved to your little village from across the sea, there was no way to avoid marrying your third or fourth cousin. Everyone was related to you.

This was really common in rural areas. They didn't understand genetic diversity very well. I made a joke a few chapters ago about Atsuko having some recessive genes that indicated inbreeding, but that is not all that abnormal. Chances are you have some too.

#also this is a kid's show they are not going to get into how hamatos married their distant cousins #i am getting into it because i am deranged and am writing a fanfiction that talks about genetics and that bullshit

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msallurea · 9 months

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It's time I apologize to you all💔

As yall know today happens to be my birthday (yall know Virgos are the baddest bitches in the world 😫..anyways 😂) but it inspired me to make this post to all who come across it. A fun fact is that today happens to be the day that I was first born. I was born Sunday, September 10th 2006, this is the first birthday I've had where I was celebrating my birthday once more again on Sunday, September 10th 2023. With that I've came a very, very long way through all those birthdays I've had before. But I say all that to say this. You are absolutely allowed to have everything your heart could ever desire. I know we already have permission from day one with the ability to manifest anything we want but sometimes just seeing it from someone you look up to and love giving you this permission just feels right. Now this is mostly for my own use and I've been knowing about manifestation for YEARS but I never really manifested things that I deeply genuinely wanted because I use to be scared, I use to be overthinking not about what I wanted but because I was afraid that the things I wanted would affect those around me or make others feel a certain way about me or that I'd lose people because of it. When really, that's not the case at all. Back then I didn't genuinely grasp the fact that I am truly, the God of my reality. I didn't fully digest that I am genuinely the creator of my reality everything in my life I created it whether it was good, bad or indifferent. But when I finally accepted this it caused me to fear myself even more and backfire I was unsure what my world would be like knowing I take full responsibility of my life despite being totally free is all I've ever wanted since day one, to live a life at peace has always truly been my deepest desire. After sitting with myself for a minute I realized that all the things I've wanted throughout all the years I only wanted them because I thought they would make my life feel easier, I wanted what I wanted because they made me feel good, they made me feel beautiful, they made me feel lovingly, they made me feel accepted, they made me feel at peace if I knew I had a chance to have it in the 3d world. The perfect scenario is when I was little and I watched anime for the first time this was when I first found manifestation. I had the burning desire to be an anime girl. I came from a life of bullying, being picked on, being called ugly, a total dump of lack of self love, toxic family, etc at the time all I wanted was to be the biggest form of beauty the world had ever seen because I knew what pretty privilege was and I'd do anything to get it. But back then my desires (at least in how I saw it) were so absolutely grand, my heart imagined with all uts might I could see myself being that anime girls its super powers with the perfect life etc and it was in the small moment I had the clearest glimpse of my highest self. She was everything I ever wanted to be. This is what kept me going in this manifestation community and made me never give up I knew I could be her I knew I was her but seeing who she was, the life she lived it was just so entirely perfect it scared me. I felt I wasn't allowed to be her, I didn't deserve to be that perfect because of his amazing my highest self is. Her femininity and sex appeal overfilled my imagination so much all I could do was resort to anything that reminded me of her whether it was the colors, pinterest, trying to do things she did but failed, etc. But I never gave up on this version of myself regardless of how many things I continously added to her over the years.

I say all that to say this. Sometimes in this manifestation community we aren't vulnerable enough for people. Many of you expect to be the "perfect master manifestor" or whatever u wanna call yourself but sometimes you have to be soft and gentle with yourself. For the past few weeks I have literally been stagnant and crying because the life I wanted to live compared to the life I'm living were just entirely too different. I didn't feel worthy of it. I felt like I would lose ppl around me if I (and don't kill me for this) but if I finally took my life in my own hands and lived my life the way I wanted to live my life...crazy right?! I apologize to you all because I'm doing something I haven't done in a very long time and that's me being vulnerable. It's me being honest with not just you all but myself. I know I always give you guys little advice and stuff and it probably is helpful but I feel so guilty of trying to help you all when I haven't even applied the law fully to get me everything my heart desires. Now don't get it twisted because this past week I've manifested things consciously I hadn't even realized until after I got it BUT it's not the things my heart had been longing for because everytime I'm ready to manifest them I start feeling terrible for even wanting the things I want.

I want you guys to know that right now in this moment, you can absolutely have anything you want. You are allowed to live the life you desire. You have all the permission in the universe to be the person you've always dreamt of being. It is ok to want a life that is best for you, that makes you feel happy, that makes you feel fulfilled, that makes you feel AT PEACE. Yes you can have it, it is yours, you have permission, it is done. Now go darling go far, far away and live the life you've always dreamt. Until next time, and when you all see me again I will be the living proof story that you can have everything u ever wanted, I promise it, that is my testimony.

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #msallurea #neville goddard #my blog

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