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whatthesmeg · 1 month

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-> when things go wrong

arnold rimmer x gn!reader

reader finds themself injured after falling through the floor of an abandoned starship, with only their hologram crewmate for company.

i'm so down bad for this stupid hologram i swear to god. also, this is post legion, so rimmer is a hard light hgram :)

"is this really a good idea?" you raised an eyebrow, hesitantly following dave and the cat through the narrow, decrepit hallways of the long-abandoned starship.

"relaaaax," dave drawled, kicking down a door. "we've done this plenty of times,"

"exactly, and besides, we're almost out of food, and if i have to eat krytens cooking one more time, i may have to eat one of you instead!" the cat mused, causing you to chuckle and shake your head at your ridiculous crewmates.

with kryten beside you, looking around curiously, you realised a member of your team was suspiciously absent.

arnold rimmer was trailing behind, unusually quiet. you slowed down, allowing kryten, dave and the cat to march onwards.

"you alright, arnie?" you asked softly, trying to meet his hazel eyes, which he was skilfully avoiding.

"fine. absolutely fine." his lips pursed, indicating he was, in fact, not fine, but rather very stressed indeed.

this didn't go unnoticed by you. recently, arnold had been acting very odd- less snarky comments, avoiding the crew, acting bashful. you considered him a friend, and his frank avoidance of you was starting to sting a little. unsure whether to bring this up now, you decided to carefully test the waters.

"you can talk to me, arnie, you've been a bit...weird lately, and-"

"me? acting weird? don't know what you mean!" he replied, a little too enthusiastically.

getting slightly frustrated by his avoidance, you decided to dig no further.

"suit yourself. but you better figure your stuff out, arnie. i'm almost starting to miss you." you smiled gently.

"hey, y/n! come check this out!" dave shouted from in front of you, and you turned quickly from arnold and jogged towards the others.

as you were jogging, the ship shifted groaned loudly. the floor suddenly felt very flimsy indeed, and before you could react, it dropped below your feet, one side dropping to create a ramp, which you found yourself tumbling down at great speed. you felt your head hit something hard and sharp, and everything promptly went dark.

"...y/n, y/n, wake up!"

drowsily, your eyes fluttered open, the face of arnold rimmer looking down at you, concern evident on his face. he was kneeling over you, and sat back as you sat up groggily, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

your head was pounding, you lifted a hand to touch it and was greeted with the warm feeling of blood trickling down your face. your left arm was also in considerable pain, and looking down, you saw it was very bruised with a deep gash from your elbow to your wrist.

"arn? what happened..?" you mumbled.

"th-the floor gave out, and you fell. we thought you'd...." he trailed off, voice shaking.

"hey," you breathed, reaching out to touch his arm softly. "i'm alive, i'm not going anywhere."

"i should be the one comforting you," he muttered, looking your injuries up and down with a face of worry. he looked around and found a piece of cloth from the abandoned starship, and shook it to get the dust off before gently leaning forward and dabbing the cut on your head.

it was a surprisingly intimate gesture, you felt your face grow warm. his hazel eyes met yours for a split second, before darting away.

"where are the others, anyway? and how did you get down here?" you asked, taking the cloth from him and continuing to dab it onto your wounds.

"they're trying to find a way to get you out. as for me, well...i'm a hologram, i can't die, so..."

"so you followed me down here?" you finished his sentence, feeling your heart flutter at the kind gesture.

"that'll leave a rather heroic scar." he gestured to the gash on your arm, changing the conversation topic quickly.

you were suddenly all too aware of the pain that was racing up through your arm and to your shoulder, and grimaced.

"y-yeah," you replied, suddenly feeling tears prick in your eyes from the pain.

arnold looked around once more and located another piece of abandoned fabric, and fashioned a bandage from it.

"this might sting a bit." he warned as he gently took your arm in shaking hands, and he began wrapping the wound. "there you go, love, you're doing great."

he appeared to say this without thinking, and immediately mumbled a quick "...s-sorry,"

"why now?" you began, "after weeks of avoiding me, why are you now being so nice?"

arnold was silent for a moment. "the thought of losing you scared me more than the thought of you rejecting me. cowardly, i know. only being brave enough to tell you when things nearly go wrong."

you smiled bashfully, before taking his hand in yours. "let's get dinner, arnie. when we're back on the dwarf."

arnold squeezed your hand, his face bright despite the darkness of your environment.

"i'd like that." he beamed. you smiled again, before leaning into him, determined to both be close to him and rest your aching body. darkness consumed you once more, from sleep or loss of consciousness you couldn't be sure. all you knew was arnold was holding you steadily, one of his hands stroking your arm, providing you with more comfort you ever knew was possible.

you spent 4 unconscious days in the med bay, under kryten's watchful eye, with dave and the cat visiting once or twice. arnold, however, stayed next to your bed the entire time. according to kryten, he didn't leave once. he read you stories from his old books, showed you mind numbing documentaries, kept you company. and apparently he didn't complain, not once.

today was the day you left the med bay, and arnold wasted no time at all taking you to dinner. when he picked you up from your quarters, after giving you some time to get ready, he looked stunned.

"you...you look beautiful, y/n."

dinner was a wonderful affair, you talked and laughed like you'd been on thousands of dates before.

after, he took you stargazing on a nearby planet.

"thanks for staying with me, arnie. kryten told me you didn't leave once."

arnold smiled softly. "i couldn't leave you."

"i'm glad things are okay between us again. or rather, i'm glad things are....what they are, between us." you said, avoiding using any labels just yet.

"as am i."

you lie in silence for a few moments, looking up at the stars.

"can i kiss you?"

you turned to him, noticing his nervous expression. you leant forward and pressed your lips to his, and you felt his hand reach up and hold your face gently. you pulled away, giggling upon seeig arnold's cherry-red face.

"you can kiss me any time, arnie."

#arnold rimmer #rimmer #arnold rimmer x reader #rimmer x reader #red dwarf #x reader #x y/n #x you #dave lister #the cat #kryten

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secondtechnicianrimmer · 4 days

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Space Corp. Directive #1215225

For some ungodly reason, you fancy the second technician, but you'd be damned if you ever admitted it.

Pairing: Arnold Rimmer x (F) Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content

Chapter Fourteen: Starbuggin’

It had been a nice day.

This wasn’t particularly notable or odd; you’d settled very happily into life aboard Red Dwarf, and now Starbug. It’s just that the general day-to-day usually tended to involve running from an insane creature, something exploding, and quite a lot of arguing. Boredom was often just as dangerous. But, so far, today had been lovely.

You had been lying on your bunk for most of the afternoon, a book raised above your head, your arms outstretched in front of you. There wasn’t much to do in the tiny ship; thankfully you’d thought to stock up on activities before you lost Red Dwarf.

When the position grew too tiring, you lowered your arms until your elbows rested on the mattress, the book now too close to be comfortable, but you didn’t mind.

Across the room, at a low table in the centre of the sleeping quarters, Rimmer was sat with his hands inside a perspex box. He’d had it for years apparently. Kryten had found the specifications in the holosuite a few months after he came back to the ship. Rimmer had never really found a lot of use for it. Now, all you had was time, and Rimmer was finally setting some aside to enjoy himself.

Inside the Holo-Box, heavy black gloves covered his hands, allowing Rimmer to gingerly cradle an old-fashioned Airfix model.

As he carefully dabbed a paintbrush against the side of something called a Spitfire, you smiled fondly to yourself.

Yes, it had been a lovely day.

“I’m gonna say it.”

Rimmer didn’t even bother looking up.

“Don’t.”

“I’m gonna.”

“I’m concentrating.”

With a sigh, you turned back to your book.

“I just think you should know-”

“Darling…”

“You’re much artsier than you give yourself credit for!”

Rimmer finally turned his head towards you, very obviously trying hard not to roll his eyes. He’d always been a bit softer with you, and lately he’d been trying harder to be less of a dick, but he still had trouble sometimes.

“This isn’t art,” he said firmly. “This is… Engineering.”

Your fond smile only grew.

“You’re painting model aeroplanes, Arn.”

“Exactly! Aeroplanes. That’s technical stuff!”

He was so determined to ignore any sense of his own creativity, you almost didn’t want to argue with him. Almost.

Plus he looked handsome today, and who were you to argue with Rimmer when he looked so good? His short-sleeved red shirt was enticingly soft, and those braces pulled tight over his broad shoulders constantly played on your mind. Sometimes, you came close to asking him to put his puffy uniform jacket on, because the sight of his lithe forearms and strong chest was almost too much to bear.

“Okay,” You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

You turned over on the bed so that you lay on your stomach, keeping your book open with your fingertips pressed against the twin swells of its pages.

“But maybe if you explored your creative side rather than berating yourself for not passing exams about things your brain doesn’t compute as well…”

Half-smiling and doing a bad job of hiding it, Rimmer shot you a weary look.

“That’s enough therapy out of you, Lefty. Let me concentrate.”

Grinning, you turned back to your book.

“Yes, dear.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rimmer’s back straighten, just a little.

There had been a marked shift in his confidence, in the general way he held himself, since your matching confessions that night. You hadn’t noticed it immediately, Rimmer had always been a little gentler about himself when it was you he was talking to, he’d learnt his lesson, so it took you a while to realise the change.

You couldn’t touch him, but there were a thousand other ways to show your affection. So far, you’d discovered that warm words, sweet names, and soft compliments worked the best. They made Rimmer’s shoulders sink, his jaw relax, as if just having someone be kind to him for once in his life was enough to loosen the vice around his chest. And he smiled more now. That was perhaps your favourite thing of all.

You turned your head and watched him work. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his curls falling across his forehead. There, at the corner of his mouth, his tongue was sticking out ever-so-slightly.

You let out a sigh, long and deep, and sank further into the bed. Folding your arms over your book, you rested your head there and silently watched Rimmer work, just enjoying the sight of him relaxed, comfortable, happy.

What you wouldn’t give to run your hands over those strong shoulders, to slip your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and tug slightly, just to see what he’d do. You couldn’t help imagining Rimmer’s eyes rolling back into his head, his taut back arching as you slipped into his lap and rocked your hips against his. He really was torture sometimes.

“What’s your book about?”

Your mind still swimming with thoughts of all the lovely sounds Rimmer might make as you grazed your teeth against his neck, it took you a moment to realise what he’d asked

You hummed, trying to cast your mind back. You couldn’t even recall the title of the novel you stole from a chef’s quarters all the way down on C Deck.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you admitted. “I haven’t been concentrating, really.”

“Hm? What were you thinking about?”

“You.”

You beamed at Rimmer when he turned to look at you, surprised.

“Me?”

You hummed, smiling.

“Y’know. What it’ll be like when I finally get to kiss you. Touch you.”

A pink tinge made its way across Rimmer’s cheeks and down his neck, almost blending into his bright red shirt. He visibly gulped, obviously thinking along the same lines as you. Then he looked back down at his model aeroplane, at the lengths he had to go to for something so simple.

“You really believe that’ll happen?” he asked softly.

“Don’t you?”

“I… I’m not sure. I used to. I hope it does.”

Rimmer went quiet then, his gaze still fixed on his model.

You carefully closed your book and slipped off the bed, curling up in the chair beside his instead.

“It will,” you said firmly. “I know it will. And until then, I have a very active imagination.”

To your delight, that made Rimmer glance up. He raised his eyebrows, a smirk tugging gently at the corner of his mouth.

“Is that so?”

You hummed and watched Rimmer’s gaze grow unfocused.

“You just wait. And, I mean, there’s always Better Than Life? I could touch you there, couldn’t I? We could have all sorts of fun.”

You watched, beaming, as his cheeks, then his ears, slowly began to turn bright red. Oh, he was fun. It was almost too easy, but it was fun.

Rimmer was sweet but he would always have a stick up his arse, it’s just how he was raised. Getting a physical reaction out of him, especially when he didn’t even have a proper physical presence, was always a brilliant game.

You leaned over the table a little more, sliding your elbow across its surface and resting there in his eye-line, so that he couldn’t help but look at you.

“Oh, Arnie, you’re blushing.”

“I am not.”

“You are!”

Shaking his head, Rimmer tried very hard to pretend to concentrate on his model.

“I don’t think I can blush.”

“Oh, honey,” You grinned. “You definitely can.”

He shot you another weary look but he was still smiling.

“It’s a lovely idea,” he spoke with an unexpected gentleness. “But I think I’d rather wait.”

“Hm?”

“When I kiss you, I want it to be real. I want to be able to feel you properly.”

The air in the room shifted. Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you’d been teasing him about.

All around you, outside the emerald, pockmarked hull of your adopted home, galaxies and stars whirled around each other, intertwining and exploding and dying and creating, over and over again. And here, in your stark grey quarters, in the middle of it all, Rimmer wanted to kiss you so badly, he was willing to wait for the impossible.

You watched as his smile grew. Rimmer’s eyes were fixed somewhere near your mouth, any vain attempts to hold your gaze long-forgotten.

Laughing softly, you pressed the backs of your fingers to your cheek.

“You’re going to make me blush.”

“Well, now, there’s a turn up for the books.”

Rimmer looked pleased with himself. Again, you considered how far he’d come. It wasn’t enough just to show him some positive reinforcement. Even when the boys were kind to him, Rimmer either didn’t think he deserved it or refused to believe they were being genuine. It had taken a lot of time, effort, and soft words to cultivate that lovely smile.

“I don’t mind waiting, you know.”

You nodded your head to the side, gesturing for him to remove his right arm from the Holo-Box.

“I love you, Arn. I don’t need anything physical. Even though I am constantly insanely horny.”

As you slipped your hand inside the leather glove, Rimmer gaped at you.

“I really do that to you?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes, actually!”

Your fingers now safely nestled inside the thick, sturdy glove, you twisted your wrist and tapped your index finger against the back of Rimmer’s hand.

“Well, you do. I’m always thinking about you.”

He flinched. You couldn’t blame him, it had been so long since he’d been able to touch, Rimmer was probably starting to forget what it felt like.

The Psymoon where you'd first kissed felt a million years ago now. Every second since had been filled with a dull ache, a wistfulness for something you weren’t able to really appreciate at the time.

You could half remember how he tasted, that his lips were soft and that his hands had felt heavy and awkward and painfully endearing as they hung from your hips. It was wonderful, but so quick and full of fear. You’d give anything to have another go.

Slowly, carefully, so as not to overwhelm him, you slipped your hand around Rimmer’s and awkwardly fitted your fingers together, fidgeting left and right until finally, your gloved hands interlaced.

“You should know by now, honey. I’ve got all sorts of ideas,” you said, grinning.

As if transfixed, Rimmer stared at your entwined hands. A muscle, slim and overworked, twitched in his jaw as he swallowed hard.

What it must be like to have no senses to guide you. He couldn’t taste his favourite foods, couldn’t read his favourite books, couldn’t leave Starbug without a hollow tug in his chest.

Ever since you lost Red Dwarf, the fear of shut down had been hanging over your heads. Whenever the old ship met a new threat to its survival, you could feel cold dread seeping through your veins, long after you knew you were safe. And you couldn’t comfort each other.

Worst of all, with everything he’d spat about his family over the years, you didn’t think Rimmer had ever known a gentle touch. And now he finally had someone who wanted to take care of him, to love him, and he couldn’t feel it.

Well, you’d never been one to back down from an argument, and arguing with the universe was about all you had, three million years from home.

Rimmer’s fingers tightened between yours, then folded, his fingertips resting against the back of your hand.

“Better Than Life is looking more and more appealing,” he mused.

You squeezed his hand.

“I think you’re right.”

“Another turn up for the books. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“We should wait,” you went on, laughing softly. “Just think how good it’s going to feel when I finally get to touch you.”

“Oh believe me, I do. Often.” Rimmer raised his eyebrows. “Several times a day.”

That made your heart trip over itself in its hurry.

It wasn’t like you to be shy around Rimmer. He was ridiculous, it was impossible to be intimidated by him or to ever feel like you didn’t have the upper hand. You could tease him all you liked, annoy him, laugh with him, but it was all a distraction from just how much you really, properly fancied the pants off him. And as embarrassing as it was, sometimes he did manage to fluster you.

It was rare that you’d admit it, though. Somehow, Rimmer managed to maintain a massive ego despite also carrying more self-hatred than anyone you’d ever met. He was complicated, but loving him wasn’t, and neither was finding him so stupidly fit, it did seem like some kind of cosmic karma that you couldn’t shove him onto his back and ride him till the bunk’s slats snapped.

But then something Lister had once suggested popped into your head. It had seemed stupid at the time, back when you were sure there was more chance of Kryten fancying you than Rimmer. But now…

“Well, you know,” You squeezed his hand again, finding the gloves awkward and uncomfortable, but you were grateful all the same. “We can’t touch each other but… We can touch ourselves. That could be fun.”

Rimmer looked like he might pass out, then suddenly he was beaming like a kid at Christmas.

“You mean… You’d want to..?”

“Yes, Arnie.” You leaned closer until your nose was almost pressed against his, your lips forced to stay just millimetres from touching. “I want you.”

You meant to say ‘to’. I want to. But ‘you’ was more accurate anyway, and it made Rimmer’s eyes slide shut with a sigh.

You watched his chest rise and fall heavily beneath his scarlet shirt, watched the fingers of his free hand tighten over the curve of his knee.

When he finally opened his eyes again, they were clouded with a kind of frustration you’d both come to accept. This was life now. Loving but never touching.

“So,” You smiled as you tilted your head the other way, your gaze fixed on Rimmer’s mouth. “Are you going to come back to bed with me, love? Or are you going to keep playing with your aeroplane all on your own?”

Rimmer stood up so fast, you were sure he would’ve knocked the table over if he’d been able to.

At exactly the same moment, a shrieking alarm pierced through the thick atmosphere, tearing it in two.

Rimmer groaned.

“Smegging hell.”

The lights flickered, then died altogether with a sickening whoosh.

You whipped around, your heart in your mouth. For a moment, you were back on the Atalanta, terrified and alone. But Rimmer’s voice sparked like a Catherine wheel in the dark. You followed the sound of your name, half blind with fear, until he’d brought you back to reality.

The lights blinked back to life, unsteady and anaemic, but enough to see by as you charged through to Starbug’s tiny cockpit, where the others were already seated.

“What’s going on?” you asked breathlessly.

“Swirly thing alert!

Cat was at the main joystick, while Lister jabbed at the communications and navigation controls.

“Where?” he asked, frantically searching for something, anything, out there in the dark.

Cat shook his head.

“It’s not on the radar yet but I can smell it.”

Kryten took his place at the rear, overseeing the shipboard systems and long-range sensors. You stayed in the doorway, watching over Rimmer’s shoulder as his short-range sensor readers remained blank.

“Nothing here,” he reported back.

“Nothing on long-range,” Kryten agreed. “Sir, is it possible you could have made a mis-smelling?

Immediately and predictably, they fell about arguing. As Cat took umbrage at Kryten’s suggestion, Rimmer and Lister began to bicker over whether stepping up to Blue Alert was worth the effort of flicking the switch.

Still stuck in the gangway without a seat, you clutched the doorframe, your arms out at your sides like a bird in flight, and prayed that whatever was out there would just bugger off so you could go back to seducing your boyfriend. One day of peace, was that really too much to ask for?

“Wait!” Kryten suddenly cried. “I've got something. I'm punching it up.”

Leaning over Rimmer to see his monitor better, you held your breath.

Set against the stars and the endless cold night, a bright orange streak ricocheted across the screen. If there hadn’t been so many alarms flaring, you might’ve thought it was a comet.

“Too small for a vessel,” Lister said. “Maybe some kind of missile?”

“A missile?” You frowned. “Who would fire a missile at us? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Kryten shook his head.

“It's impossible to tell at this range. Whatever it is, they clearly have a technology way in advance of our own!”

“So do the Albanian State Washing Machine Company.”

Working as a team, Lister and Cat steered Starbug out of harm’s way. The little ship groaned as it suddenly jerked onto a different path but did as it was told.

You gripped the back of Rimmer’s chair, your gaze fixed on the monitor.

“Arn…”

He looked up at you, his jaw set. You could see he was frightened but he forced a grim smile.

You hadn’t told the others yet. It wasn’t a concious thought, you just didn't act any differently around each other and the boys hadn’t noticed. You weren’t sure if that said more about how long you’d so obviously been infatuated with each other, or about their observational skills.

He wanted to comfort you but there wasn’t time. You wanted to kiss Rimmer’s cheek and tell him he was doing well, but you couldn’t. Instead, you shared a thin smile and prayed this wouldn’t be it.

“You should buckle in, darling.” He nodded back into Starbug’s hold, where there were plenty of safer places to stand. “This might get-”

As if to prove his point, the ship rolled to the left, throwing you against the doorframe.

Instinctively, uselessly, Rimmer’s hand shot out to grab yours.

“It's still with us!” Lister cried. “It's some kind of heat-seeker. We can't outrun it!”

The ship rocked again, then heaved a sickly groan as it veered onto yet another course.

Rimmer looked pale.

“What on Io was that?”

“Some kind of suction beam. We're being dragged down!”

Next Chapter

Master List

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #chris barrie #my post #arnold rimmer imagine #arnold rimmer reader #arnold rimmer smut #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold rimmer x you #arnold rimmer you

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sochawrites · 4 months

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Can you please do an rimmer x fem reader fluff or the episode the gun men of the apocalypse where reader and rimmer are dating.

Sure I can! And why not kind of both?

I am so, so, so sorry it took me so long to write this, it has been a very weird year and I just could not manage to put aside some time to write. I can't promise 2024 will be better, but we all can hope, no?

I hope this is at least a bit satisfactory to you, dear anon, or any of you souls, still lurking around looking for some RD content.

What do you guys say on the news about Red Dwarf: Titan? I was there when they screened the teaser trailer, if one would call it that, and honestly? I'm pretty excited!

Also happy Holidays!

Adrenaline

Arnold Rimmer x Fem!reader

None of you could help but cheer as Starbug flew away from the burning moon, escaping certain doom once again. You were slowly getting used to these situations, but near-death experiences are still near-death experiences and while you tried to focus your mind on the fact that you were alive, your body and nerves were of a different idea.

You were shaking in your seat, gripping the handles and hardly holding back the maniacal laughter of survival. You had enough adrenaline for today, it would probably be better for you to go and calm down, maybe even lay down before you start to crash.

Pulling yourself up on your shaky knees, you excused yourself and stumbled to your room, almost falling on the way out of the control room. Fortunately out of the sight of others, or so you thought. You slowly made your way up the stairs to the sleeping quarters, painfully unaware of the pair of concerned eyes watching you.

Deciding the bed would be the best place to crash onto, you crashed into a much more closer chair, back turned to the door and closed your eyes shut. You were breathing heavily and the sound of the ship was being drowned out by the buzz and thuds in your ears.

A knock caught your attention, albeit barely. "Permission to enter?", you hummed in response, knowing fully well your hologram boyfriend would not take no for an answer and not having enough strength to speak. There was a pause before Rimmer went into the room, but as soon as he did, he cautiously made his way towards you. You could only imagine him looming over you as he tapped on your shoulder.

"I brought you some water," Rimmer announced to you nonchalantly, leaving the glass beside you. You thanked him as you reached for the liquid with both of your shaking hands, but you were positive he barely heard you.

"That was quite a ride, wasn't it? The adrenaline, the thrill!" Rimmer walked around as if giving you an inspirational speech, "Although I have a feeling that for some, it may have been a bit too much, wouldn't you say so, my dear Y/N?". He turned to you with the last sentence, a playful smirk on his lip, but sympathy in his eyes.

You just threw him a look, not amused by his remark, "Yeah, well, not everyone can be as brave as the great Dan McGrew, right, Arn?".

He pouted, "Auch", and knelt down in front of you, reaching his palm to your cheeks, gently caressing. It was always a weird sensation to touch light, soft or hard, not really cold, not really warm. Leaning into his touch, you planted a kiss on his hand, a small smile tugging at the lips of both of you. "You're going to get used to all of this, eventually." Rimmer tried to reassure you, but you just shook your head.

"'Eventualy' isn't soon enough, starlight." the hologram traped your hand in his, squeezing. "It never is, but you'll be fine, I know it.".

You reached your still trembling hand to the one cradling your face, feeling the threat of tears from the stress and weariness. "How?" you whispered, "How are you so sure about this?".

"Love, have you ever seen yourself when we face the unknown? You always keep such a stone-cold face, looking so brave, so fearless! Adrenaline is a powerful muse, the tremble and tears, it's not you, it's just your body, nothing more." Rimmer was now cradling your face in both of his hands, semi-standing, looking directly into your eyes.

"It's only a matter of time until you get used to the rush and once you do…" he paused, maybe because he was searching for words, or maybe just to make his encouragement more meaningful, "You'll be braver than anyone we know."

You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around the holographic body, "Even more than Ace?". You felt him hugging you tightly "Even more than him.".

#arnold rimmer #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold j rimmer #red dwarf #red dwarf x reader #reader insert #female reader #fem reader #request #anon request #really sorry for the almost a year long wait

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raisinghellonstarbug · 1 year

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OK SO UPDATE!

Wow thank you so much for all of your prompts so far I really appreciate and you did not disappoint! 💗

I guess considering the amount of prompts which I did not expect to get already so far I have quite a bit of writing to do! 😁

(may have put a rod for my back but we shall see hahahah assfjdfdkjfb!!)

Anywaay...

So just wish to shoutout and say thanks to @britcombruh @beckthehopelessromantic @jhangelface0523 @vickyfarley and @thelittlebirdwriter for all of your prompt requests, please bear with me and I will try and get on your ideas asap!!

ALSO

I have decided that besides being happy to receive requests for Sastiel, Midam, Dean or Sam W x reader, James Acaster x reader (or other British comedians x reader) and Sam Fender x reader, I have also two more ships that I will also consider writing a fic about if you would like:

Red Dwarf fans, my 2nd favourite ship of all time (can't believe I forgot momentarily)!! Please send me your Rimmer x Lister prompts :)

And Heartstopper fans! Send me your Nick x Charlie ones (currently my third/fourth favourite ship)

If anyone else has prompts for any of these fandoms or perhaps anymore then please let me know. If I know the fandom and know the ship, I will consider other ideas.

Thanks again everyone!

Peace,

Luna x

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zazasthingsfoundcoolornice · 2 years

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Lister: What makes you all smile?

Y/n : Friends and Family.

Rimmer: Snacks.

Cat: Victory and success.

kyton: Face muscles.

----

Lister: Are we really going to let Y/n keep kyton?

Rimmer: We kept Cat.

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Rimmer: Look guys, I need help.

Cat: Love help?

kyton: Financial help?

Lister: Emotional help?

Y/n : Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Y/n *

Y/n : What?

----

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

kyton: Would never stab anyone.

Rimmer: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Cat: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Lister: Would stab without warning.

Y/n : Would stab as a warning.

---

Rimmer: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

kyton: Take them!

Cat: Punch them in the neck!

Lister: Say thank you!

Y/n : Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Rimmer: …

Rimmer: No.

----

Y/n : We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Cat: ... Your what?

Y/n : My friends.

Lister: Are they saying “friends”?

Rimmer: I think they're being sarcastic.

kyton: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Y/n ! All of your friends are in this room.

----

Y/n : How petty can you get?

Rimmer: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

----

Rimmer: I want to kiss you.

Y/n , not paying attention: What?

Rimmer: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

---

Y/n : You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Rimmer: Those are wanted posters!

----

Rimmer: Seriously, Y/n , how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to?

Y/n : That’s not important

Rimmer: I DISAGREE.

----

Y/n : I have a problem.

Rimmer: Kill it.

Y/n : Can you chill for like, two seconds?

----

Y/n : Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page.

Y/n : But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”.

Rimmer: That’s not even clever.

#incorrect quotes #y/n #red dwarf #arnold rimmer x reader

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autistic-coded-tournament · 9 months

Text

current submitted characters

will be updated as submissions come through.

(long post - list under the cut)

Twilight Sparkle - My Little Pony

Beth Tezuka - Bravest Warriors

Arnold Rimmer - Red Dwarf

The Captain - BBC Ghosts

Morris Moss - The IT Crowd

Nepeta Leijon - Homestuck

Kim Jokja - Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

Sousuke Sagara - Full Metal Panic!

Mirabel Madrigal - Encanto

Kagami Tsurugi - Miraculous Ladybug

Taiyou Takada - My Clueless First Friend

Frankie Stein - Monster High (G3)

Jamie Winton - You, Me And The Apocalypse

Mino Naraidate - Ayakashi Akashi

Misumi Ikaruga - A3!

Strawberry Crepe Cookie - Cookie Run: Kingdom

Jotaro Kujo - JoJo's Bizzare Adventure

K1-B0 - Danganronpa V3

Morrigan Crow - Nevermoor Series

Benny - The LEGO Movie

Data - Star Trek: The Next Generation

Malleus Draconia - Twisted Wonderland

Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds

Lilo Pelekai - Lilo And Stitch

Temperance Brennan - Bones

Subaru Mikazuki - My Roommate Is A Cat

Homare Arisugawa - A3!

Ranpo Edogawa - Bungou Stray Dogs

Alhaitham - Genshin Impact

Futaba Sakura - Persona 5

Athena Cykes - Ace Attorney

Midorya Izuku - My Hero Academia

Bakugou Katsuki - My Hero Academia

Iida Tenya - My Hero Academia

Todoroki Shouto - My Hero Academia

Aizawa Shouta - My Hero Academia

Present Mic - My Hero Academia

James - End Of The F***ing World

Chu Sangwoo - Semantic Error

Chalarm - Dinosaur Love

Connor - Detroit: Become Human

Max Caulfield - Life Is Strange

Parker - Leverage

Lan Zhan - The Untamed

Ram - My Engineer

Kim Theerapanyakul - KinnPorsche

Alex Chen - Life Is Strange: True Colours

Penny Poledina - RWBY

Huey Duck - DuckTales

Denki Kaminari - My Hero Academia

Mihashi Ren - Big Windup!

Khabluken - Star In My Mind

Akk Pipitphattana - The Eclipse

Scott Summers (Cyclops) - X-Men

Hank McCoy (Beast) - X-Men

Orbulon - Warioware

Benrey - Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware

Gilion Tidestrider - Just Roll With It

Stanford Pines - Gravity Falls

Goemon Ishikawa XIII - Lupin III

Ash - Fire Emblem Heroes

Ty Betteridge - WOE.BEGONE

Maria Ushiromiya - Umineko No Naku Koro Ni

Yusuke Kitagawa - Persona 5

Charlie Kelly - It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Rachel Lindt - Worm

Arisugawa Himari (Cure Custard) - Kirakira Pretty Cure a la Mode

Ryan - WOE.BEGONE

Akhiko Sanada - Persona 3

Shadow The Hedgehog - Sonic The Hedgehog

Makoto Niijima - Persona 5

Streber - Spooky Month

Murray Hewitt - Flight Of The Conchords

Noel Gruber - Ride The Cyclone

Ushijima Wakatoshi - Haikyuu!!

Howard Moon - The Mighty Boosh

Mikitaka Hazekura - JoJo's Bizzare Adventure

Edward - Cowboy Bebop

MK - LEGO Monkie kid

Red Son - LEGO Monkie Kid

Mitsuru Kirijo - Persona 3

Aziraphale - Good Omens

Nemona - Pokémon Scarlet & Violet

Peter Sqloint - Just Roll With It

Bart Allen (Impulse) - DC Comics

Nanami Kento - Jujitsu Kaisen

Stannis Baratheon - Game Of Thrones: A Song Of Ice And Fire

Inspector Javert - Les Misérables

N - Pokémon Black & White

Vinyl Scratch (DJ Pon-3) - My Little Pony

Coco Pommel - My Little Pony

Alicia Hamilton - LPS Popular

Francis York Morgan - Deadly Premonition

Hunter - The Owl House

Mischa Bachinski - Ride The Cyclone

Auggie Hilderbrant - Scary Movies To Tell In The Dark

Sunny - OMORI

Chris Kirkman - Bravest Warriors

Himiko Yumeno - Danganronpa V3

Espresso Cookie - Cookie Run: Kingdom

#autistic coded tournament #tournament #tournament poll #bracket tournament #tumblr tournament #character tournament

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aew-kun-age-regression · 1 year

Text

-Miscellaneous Masterslist-

Moodboards

Caregiver!Jack (Mary Poppins returns)

Blues Clues Moodboard

Regressor!Flora (Winx Club)

Regressor!Aisha (Winx Club)

Caregiver!Rick O'Connell, Caregiver!Evelyn O'Connell (The Mummy)

Regressor!Bloom (Winx Club)

Caregiver!Amity (The Owl House)

Regressor!Luz Noceda (The Owl House)

Caregiver!Egon Spengler (Ghostbusters)

Caregiver!Thomas Sharpe (Crimson Peak)

Caregiver!Legend of Zelda

Caregiver!Mario (The Super Mario Brothers)

(🌈) Moodboard

Caregiver!Agent Whiskey (Kingsman the golden circle)

Red Themed Cat Moodboard

(🩵⭐🌕🪐🌙🌠) Moodboard

(🫧) Moodboard

Caregiver!Reno Raines & Bobby Sixkiller (Renegade)

(🐋🐬🪼🦈) Moodboard

Caregiver!Marcus Moreno (We can be heroes)

Regressor!Tecna (Winx Club)

Regressor!Musa (Winx Club)

Regressor!Stella (Winx Club)

Bear in the big blue house Moodboard

Bluey Moodboard

Caregiver!Josh (Blues Clues)

Caregiver!Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher)

Space Moodboard

Beach Moodboard

Dinosaur Moodboard

Leonardo Moodboard (Rottmnt)

Orange Stimboard

Blues Clues Stimboard

Caregiver!Josh (Blues Clues)

The Wizard of Oz Moodboard

(Birthday) Blues Clues Moodboard

Regressor!Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham)

Regressor!Cheryl Blossom (Riverdale)

Pumpkin Glow Build A Bear StimBoard

Regressor!Sebastian Mcclane (Law and Order)

Regressor!Oswald Cobblepot StimBoard (Gotham)

Regressor!Sebastian Mcclane StimBoard (Law and Order)

Caregiver!James Conrad StimBoard (Kong, Skull Island)

Caregiver!Adam Mintock + Caregiver!Jet Slootmaekers + Little!Sebastian Mcclane (Law and Order)

Regressor!King Clawthorne (The Owl House)

Regressor!Jake Peralta (Brooklyn 99)

Siren Themed StimBoard

Star Trek Themed Moodboard

Regressor!Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Caregiver!Aethelwold (The Last Kingdom)

Caregiver!Edward Nygma (Gotham)

Regressor!Rowan Laslow (Wednesday)

Regressor!Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham)

Blue StimBoard (Blues Clues)

Regressor!10th Doctor (Doctor Who)

Regressor!Kenneth Hutch (StarSky and Hutch -2004)

Regressor!Peewee Herman

Regressor!11th Doctor (Doctor Who)

Caregiver!Arnold Rimmer + Regressor!Dave Lister (Red Dwarf)

Caregiver!Kryten (Red Dwarf)

Regressor!Charlie Hudson (Hudson & Rex)

Caregiver!Commander Mills (65)

Regressor!Wolf Pup Geralt Of Rivia + Caregiver!Jaskier (The Witcher)

Regressor!10th Doctor StimBoard (Doctor Who)

Caregiver!Commander Mills (65) (Fem Themes)

Caregiver!Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Edgar Allan Poe - The Raven Themed

Caregiver!Albert Wesker StimBoard (Resident Evil)

Regressor!Arnold Rimmer (Red Dwarf)

FNAF animatronics (FNAF Movie)

Caregiver!William Tell (The Card Counter)

Blue Themed Moodboard

Caregiver!Jareth (Labyrinth)

Rumple Buttercup Moodboard

Wolf Themed StimBoard

My Favourite Activities Themed Moodboard

Flip!Christian (Moulin Rouge)

Caregiver!Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones)

Story/Fanfics

Caregiver!Platonic!Five Hargreaves x Little!Reader (Means the world to me..)

Headcannons

Playlists

Art

DNI Banner

Bingo, Bluey (bluey)

Dr Flug (villainous)

Bill Hazledine (suburban shootout)

Lloyd (lego ninjago)

Glam (metal family), Papa/Copia (ghost band)

Norman (my friendly neighborhood)

A bear

Dr Habit (smile for me)

Cuddle bear family (calico critters)

Paci Icon

Socks & Muffin (Bluey)

Ghoulia Yelps (Monster High)

Hello Kitty (Hello Kitty)

Italy (Hetalia)

Luigi (Super Mario Brothers)

Winx Club Main Six (Winx Club)

Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael & Mikey (TMNT Mutant Mayhem)

Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time)

11th Doctor (Doctor Who)

Diego Hargreaves (The Umbrella Academy)

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tongue---tied · 11 months

Note

HI!!! Red Dwarf or the ask meme please! I'd much like to know your interpretations and thoughts! <3

Im throwing this under a cut because, boy, this is gonna be a long one

❤️Favorite character

This won't come as a surprise to many of any of you but, yeah, it's rimmer. I want to put him in situations, I want to take him out of situations, there's the full duality there. I relate to him a lot (which probably isn't a good sign lol) and I strongly believe you cannot have red dwarf without him (i mean, look at the ratings for season 7 even with the girlboss that is kochanski). His character itself has such good potential, the angst that comes with being a hologram, the touch-starved-ness (?), his entire childhood, his need for academic validation even 3 million years into the future when all who would care anyway are dead, I could go on forever.

👿Least favorite character

Don't do this to me man 😭 I don't even know if I have one?? At least not out of the main crew. There's no character that actually makes me vibrate with rage in a bad way... If I did really have a think it would probably be a one-off character that was only in one episode and never mentioned again. Oh! I've just remembered, some fanon interpretations of Toddhunter honestly made my skin crawl with how horrible he is, but obviously that's just fanon, and some fanon interpretations have him as honestly a really good meaning guy- looking at you, Work Thing ;)

💐Comfort character

If you can't guess at this point I honestly don't know what to say. It's rimmer, look I know I know, the comfort character who has had no comfort in his entire life/death but *slaps roof of car* this baby can fit so much projection! He's so varied, he's gay to me, he's bi to me, he's autistic to me, he has ptsd to me, he's yearning, he's in denial, he's just- HE *I am dragged away by a lone hand through the doorframe before I can continue*

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

Are you sensing a theme yet 😐 I'd say I don't wish to be perceived for this but let's be honest, my tags reveal all, and the majority of the fandom agrees. It's Rimmer. Again. Slightly outing myself as an x reader enjoyer here. *shaking him* I could fix him I really believe I could. (I'm glad you're the one who sent the ask, Lexie, we can both bond over being self shippers lol)

🤝Character you relate to the most

WHY IS IT ALWAYS RIMMER ON THIS ASK GAME PLEASE HELP😭😭😭 Hes a stickler for the rules (as long as they benefit him), he's probably autistic, he loves hammond organ music (very disappointed that he hates my main man Glenn Miller though 😔), he was an outcast for most of his childhood, he was bullied, he spirals at the slightest bad thing. I'm starting to really sense this isnt a good thing 😭 (I swear I'm doing okay I've got a good support system please don't worry)

🔥Character you think is overrated

I don't know?? 😭😭 I think all of red dwarf's characters really add to the material as a whole, and hey, it's not like this fandom is really big enough for overrating anything. I might say Duane Dibley, because yeah he's funny, Danny really performs well as that character but I don't really understand as to why he was so much of a fan favourite that they brought him back (for season 6 I think it was?) So if I had to say one character it would be Duane.

🧨Character you love to hate

*smacking my face against the doorframe* its rimmer again 😭😭😭 he's such a prick, especially in the early seasons man, I simultaneously want to look after him and throw him against a wall. I contain multitudes, it's okay

🙈Character you always forget exists

I guess I'd have to say Holly? He's got brilliant comedic timing and delivery (as Lovett and Hayridge) but the fact she was cut out in the later seasons and then brought back in season 8 and then gone again in the more recent ones just feels disjointed so she's easily forgotten sadly. (Yes I use she/he pronouns for Holly, she's genderfluid to me <3)

🐰Favorite non-human character

I'm gonna be honest, it would really have to be Holly. (I'm discounting Hologram Rimmer because he still sees himself as human in some way and he's had far too much screentime in this post). The comedic timing, the deadpan delivery, that amazing scene where she counts by smacking her head against the screen always makes me howl.

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

All of them. All of them. Rimmer, for reasons we've already gone into. Lister, the survivors guilt, he was SA'd at 12?!!, his entire relationship with Kochanski, his alcoholism, crushing loneliness, I could go on. The Cat, his entire species left him and his family because they were old and/or disabled, again loneliness. Kryten, literally in denial about his crew being dead, left alone for over 3 million years and still somehow hanging onto his sanity through episodes of androids, the need to do anything, literally anything to make sure he doesn't think to hard about anything other than laundry, honestly people need to talk about him more. Kochanski, losing her dave, stuck with this dave who looks exactly like hers but is so different, watching him destroy himself, having nothing in common with any of the crew, LONELINESS MAN.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was a long one phew

#red dwarf #rimmer #arnold rimmer #lister #dave lister #david lister #kryten #the cat red dwarf #kristine kochanski #kochanski #ask game #long post #cinnamon-phrog #you get your own tag now :)

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captain3merald · 2 years

Text

I want to write a RIMMER x READER fic because I have SOO many ideas, but I have a few questions…

— Would you guys prefer a fic from the first, 2nd of third-person point of view.

e.g. first person: “I wanted to make out with Rimmer.”

e.g. 2nd: “You wanted to make out with Rimmer.”

e.g. 3rd-person: “He/She/They wanted to make out with Rimmer.”

#personally I prefer first or third person #would remain a reader/yn fic regardless #red dwarf #rimmerxreader #arnold rimmer #cat #dave lister #fanfic

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smegdwarf · 2 years

Text

Worth The Wait (Arnold Rimmer x Reader) - Part 4

A/N: Sorry for the long delay since the last part 😅

Beep beep …beep beep!

Rimmer made a soft grumble as his face remained nuzzled against the back of your shoulder, his arm pulling you in tighter against him as you reached up for his watch wrapped round one of the bars of the bunk above.

"Snooze it!" Rimmer mumbled in your ear.

"You know thats not a good idea!" You laughed softly as you turned to face him "And you know we can't risk being late"

"Sod Hollister and the rules!” Rimmer started to smile “Do we really need to work today?”

“Hey it’s not as if you have to work with Lister” You spoke softly as your hand crept up from under the blanket and rest gently on his cheek “You’re working with me today”

“I guess you could call it that”

“You can’t deny its fun sneaking around on the job” You smiled between gentle kisses “Sometimes its good to be bad!”

“Yeah as long as we don’t get caught” Rimmer chuckled quietly as he carefully pulled you closer “Can we not just stay here for a few more minutes?”

“It’s funny you should ask that!” You smiled as you reached up for Rimmer’s watch above you tilting the watch face down towards you “There’s a reason I set the alarm to go off half an hour earlier than it’s supposed too!”

“…so we can lay here for a bit?”

“Because I know you’re a pain in the backside to get out of bed in the morning!” You grinned as you moved your hand to his chest.

“I don’t see you in any rush to get up?” Rimmer teased as you slowly moved your fingertips.

“You know you’d pull me straight back down if I tried”

“Yeah I would!” He smiled as his hands moved slowly down your back.

“Erm what are your hands up to mister?” You smirked.

“Just making the most of it before we have to get up”

“Well don’t get too carried away, save it for after work!”

“Spoil sport!”

“Believe me it’ll be worth the wait!” You spoke quietly as your fingertips gently caressed his cheek.

Although you had said it would be worth the wait you never said you were going to make it easy …and neither was he.

Walking side by side down the corridor, you pushing the trolley as always while Rimmer looked at the days jobs on the clipboard.

“So boss whats first on the list for today?” You smiled as Rimmer continued to look at the clipboard.

“Well it says here the first task is that you kiss your superior!” Rimmer smirked as you rolled your eyes.

“Nice try!” You replied walking on with the trolley before being stopped by Rimmer.

“Excuse me you can’t disobey a superior” Rimmer had the devil in his eyes as he stood at the end of the trolley, preventing you from pushing it any further with his hands on the edge leaning over it.

“Oh I can…” You smiled resting your arms on the handle bar as you leant forward “…you see I’m dating the superior in question and he finds me irresistible”

“Does he really?”

“He’s also aware that we’re standing in the corridor where anyone can see us and not in my quarters”

“That maybe true but maybe he’s not scared of getting caught” Rimmer teased as you raised your eyebrow.

“Really?” You smiled as you reached out to place your hand under his chin slowly leaning closer “So you wouldn’t panic if Captain Hollister suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor?”

“God you’re a pain!” Rimmer’s eyes widen before settling into a playful glare as he pulled away.

“I never said I would make this easy!” You smiled as you walked past him with the trolley to the dispensing machine at the end of the corridor, the first stop of the day “Nothing til we’re off the clock”

While you were trying to get him to wait, Rimmer had decided to play you at own game and see whether he could get you to crack.

“So we’re basically servicing all the dispensers on this floor today?” You asked as you tidied up all the tools and supplies scattered around back onto the trolley while Rimmer finished closing up the machine he had just serviced.

“That’s the gist of it” Rimmer mumbled “Could you pass me the screwdriver you just put away my love?”

“Is that what you call all your subordinates?” You smirked as you handed him the screwdriver.

“Only you!” Rimmer turned to look at you with a sly but cheeky grin.

“Hmm just shut up and help me push this machine back!”

“Now now, you can’t talk to a superior like that!” You could see him smiling from the corner of your eye.

“Oh I’m sorry …honey could you shut up and help me push this machine back …please?” You smiled, your tongue peeking between your teeth as Rimmer laughed.

“Much better” Rimmer teased as he finished up the repair and stood up “Before we do could you just check something for me?”

“Check what?” You asked as Rimmer stepped aside.

“Just check to make sure everything’s done up properly” Rimmer gave you a smile he knew you couldn’t say no to even though technically speaking he was still your superior and you were at work.

“Everything seems fine” You shrugged not noticing Rimmer step closer and somewhat blocking you in behind the machine.

“I know, I just want a second pair of eyes to check it over”

“You’re up to something!” You raised an eyebrow.

“No I just want to make sure the job is done properly” Rimmer smiled.

“Alright fine ...it all seems good” You mumbled as you looked everything over, completely unaware of Rimmer’s hand edging closer to you.

“Look at me for a second” Rimmer looked at you as if he was genuinely concerned.

“Why, what’s wrong?” You looked up him as his hazel eyes traced over your face, his mouth curling into a smirk as his hands snapped round your wrists making you jump with a squeal, pulling you against him with a quiet chuckle as he held your arms behind his back “Oh no you’re definitely not up to something!”

“Ok I’m guilty, you got me!” Rimmer smiled putting his left hand on your waist as he brought his right up to cup your face, gently running his thumb across your cheek “but can you blame me?”

“Well I can’t deny, I am impressed” You spoke softly, your hand creeping up his chest and resting on his neck.

“Yeah?” Rimmer leaned in close to your ear “Enough to kiss me?”

“After what you just pulled, it would be cruel for me to say no” You gave him a sly smile as you pulled him closer to you as he grinned, tilting his head at an angle as he leant in, one arm wrapped tightly round your waist while the other cradled your head.

Occupied behind the vending machine, neither of you were aware of the footsteps suddenly coming down the corridor until a voice joined them.

“Mr Rimmer, Miss YL/N? How’s it going?” It was Captain Hollister.

“Yes Captain sir” Rimmer jumped out from behind the machine and straight into the short version of his salute while you stood beside him trying your hardest not to laugh “It’s going well sir!”

“So what were you doing behind that soup dispenser?” The Captain questioned.

“I... err” Rimmer stuttered as you jumped in.

“Oh Rimmer has just finished up the repair and wanted a second pair of eyes to check it over before we move on” You spoke so fast you almost tripped over your tongue.

“Right well I have a special job for the two of you” The Captain pulled a bunch of small envelopes from his back pocket and threw them on the work trolley “Please deliver these within the next hour!”

“Yes sir!” You smiled as you picked one of the envelopes up to inspect it.

“But sir what about the rest of our work?” Rimmer asked generally concerned as you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Don’t worry Rimmer, the soup dispensers will still be busted tomorrow!” Captain Hollister replied sarcastically as he turned to walk away “Just get those envelopes delivered!”

“Yes sir!” Rimmer smiled reluctantly before performing another salute.

After giving it 5 minutes to ensure that the Captain was far enough away, you turned to Rimmer with a smile itching to burst into a laugh.

“It never gets old watching you squirm when someone almost catches us” You laughed quietly as Rimmer looked over the envelopes, he knew exactly what they were and he was not happy about it.

"Lets just get this over with" He sighed as he started walking off with the trolley leaving you to catch up.

"Hey whats going on?" You pouted as you finally caught up to him, trying to catch your breath.

"Nothing it's fine" He tried to shrug you off.

"Its not fine thought is it?" You weren't letting this go "Talk to me?"

"And tell you what? That this is just another attempt to piss me off and humiliate me? That even the Captain likes to get under my skin" Rimmer stopped suddenly and turned to you, his face flushed pink and his eyes watery "These letters are invites to the Captains weekly dinner!"

"Arnold I... I don't understand" You looked at him confused but waited patiently for him to answer "Have you never been chosen or...?"

"Oh I wish hadn't been chosen" Rimmer scoffed, confusing you even more.

"I think I can see where this is going" You sighed "What happened?"

"Just about everything that could go wrong" Rimmer kept his eyes down on the ground "I got conned out of about 2 months wages by an escort that I had paid to pretend to be my date, bought her a dress and everything ...then she didn't show up"

"Thats awful"

"That's just the start of it" Rimmer lift his gaze briefly to meet yours before it fell again "Everyone was judging me, giving me weird looks because I had turned up on my own, even though they all knew there wasn't a single person on board that actually liked me ...and you hadn't arrived yet"

"Arnold" You spoke softly as you reassuringly touched his arm.

"Then there was the whole soup thing"

"Ah gazpacho soup!" You smiled slightly, Lister had briefly mentioned when you first started working with Rimmer not to mention the cold soup dish but you never really understood why ...until now.

"Godsake, Lister has already told you hasn't he?" Rimmer huffed as you held his hands, giving them a gentle squeeze to calm him down.

"No, no" You hushed him "He warned me not to mention it thats all, he never actually told me the reason why and even if he had tried to tell me I would've stopped him"

"Really?"

"Yes, you should be the one to decide who hears that story not him" You reached up to hold his face "I have a feeling I know what happened and I want you to know that you were not the first person to make that mistake and certainly not the last"

"I know, its just that whole entire night was so humiliating" He mumbled "And I can't help but feel that this is Hollister's way of making fun of me"

"Hey, Hollister is a fat git, don't let him get you down" You gently brought Rimmer's face down closer to yours, placing a delicate kiss to his lips "That night is in the past and theres no point worrying about something you can't change"

"I understand, its just ...most of my life has been filled with moments like that, some worse than others"

"I get that but you don't have to hold onto them forever, its ok to let them go to make room for new moments ...better ones ...ones with me" You smiled sweetly as you saw a smile slowly creep across your boyfriends face "Now why don't you head back to my quarters, theres only an hour left of our shift and I can get these delivered and the trolley back on my own"

"But I'm your superior, I'm supposed to watch over you!"

"If I bump into Hollister I'll tell him you had to go help out another team on Z shift" You let your hand fall to his chest "Now go and relax ...my order!"

"Oi I'm supposed to be in charge!" Rimmer replied playfully.

"Go!" You raised your eyebrow as he chuckled.

After Rimmer was finally on his way to relax you started on your task of delivering the letters, luckily they were all to be delivered within the same area of each other. With the work trolley back in its home for the night you then decided to take a trip to the Captains office.

"Sir!" You smiled as you gave him a salute.

"What is it Y/N? I'm rather busy!" The captain groaned, the only thing he was busy doing was making his way through a big bag of crisps while he watched tv on his computer screen.

"Sir about those letters you had me deliver" You paused "There was only 7 ...isn't there usually 8?"

"So I only picked 7 crew members this time? Is that all?"

"Well I know I'm only a third tech and you probably aren't listening to a word I say but I was wondering if you'd be willing to give Arnold Rimmer another chance?" You closed your eyes tightly as you waited for a reply.

"Arnold Rimmer? Now why would I do that?"

"Sir please you don't understand!"

"Not a chance!"

"But sir!"

"Look its not my fault he messed up"

"I'm sorry sir but thats not a good enough excuse, people make mistakes, thats part of being human ...what's not ok is using someones mistake as a means of torturing them"

"What are you insinuating Y/N?"

"It's not just you sir, everyone on board likes to use Arnold's misfortunes against him as fuel" You knew this wouldn't end well on your part but you didn't care, you couldn't stand by while everyone used you boyfriend as a metaphorical punch bag "Everyone deserves a second chance ...even Arnold!"

"Why do you seem to care about him so much?"

"He's my friend sir!" You paused before raising an eyebrow with a smirk "and I also know how to be a decent human being"

"Why should I give him another chance?"

"Because that night haunts him still to this day, he was left humiliated and you sir are partly to blame"

"I don't have to deal with this!"

"Well I would if I were you, otherwise everytime you put Arnold down I'm going to do to you ten times worse" You may only be a third tech and just over 5ft tall but you were fierce and feisty and quite clearly had the captain where you wanted him, in your hand like putty as he scribbled out the letter and shoved it in an envelope.

"Here!" He snarled as he threw the letter "Now get out of my office!"

"Yes sir!" You gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and a quick salute as you were about to leave, turning back as reached the door "Oh and sir, please don't serve gazpacho soup!"

"Whatever! Just get out!" He snapped as you left laughing.

Knowing full well that last request would get completely ignored, you took a trip to the chefs that would be preparing the dinner, making up some story that the Captain had sent you to tell them that the soup course had changed.

“Sorry I’m late, Hollister wouldn’t shut up when I dropped in to tell him the letters were delivered” You mumbled as you looked up upon entering your quarters “Well hello!”

Half expecting Rimmer to still be in full uniform and not having even undone his tie, it was safe to say you were more than a little surprised to see him lying on your bunk and watching tv on the vid screen in nothing but his white t-shirt and underwear.

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming back!” Rimmer looked up at you with a smile.

“I wasn’t expecting such a view!” You smirked “Definitely a surprise …which by the way I have one for you!”

“You do?” Rimmer asked curiously as he sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbow as you sat on the edge of the bunk with him.

“Here!” You replied as you handed him the envelope.

“This is a..." Rimmer muttered as he sat up fully, hesitantly taking the envelope from your hand "How?"

"Lets just say I had a talk with Hollister and made him give you a second chance" You smiled sweetly, a hint of mischief in your eye that Rimmer instantly noticed.

"Oh god what did you do?" Rimmer sighed with a smile.

"Nothing you need to worry about, I just knocked him down a peg or two and made him realise what an arse he is!"

"What if it all goes wrong again?"

"It won't"

"What do you mean?"

“Well, first of all your date won’t con you and not show up”

“They won’t?”

“Of course not” You smiled as you stood up, holding your hands out for him to follow “Because I’ll be your date!”

“But nobody knows about us?” Rimmer’s brow furrowed.

“And they won’t” You spoke softly “As far as they know we’re just friends!”

“I don’t know if I can deal with not touching you though” Rimmer’s worried look slowly turned into a smirk as he leant in a little closer to you.

“Who said you couldn’t?” Your voice lowered as you leant closer to his ear “You should be a pro at sneaking about by now”

“You and me both!” Rimmer grinned down at you.

“Exactly!” You reached up to cup his face.

“I know you’ll tell me not too but I will buy you a dress” Rimmer’s smiled shifted more innocently “It’s the least I can do for you setting this up!”

“Hey I just want you to be happy” You replied between gentle kisses “Besides it’ll be one of the rare times you’ll actually see me in a dress” you paused as you moved your lips to his ear “So make the most of it!”

“Oh I’m sure I will” Rimmer replied, muffled slightly as he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, smothering the skin with kisses.

“Hey I know I made you wait all day but slow down” You laughed quietly as Rimmer looked up from your shoulder with a smirk.

“You know I can’t help it!” Rimmer’s eyes watched as you took a step back throwing your work shirt to one side “May I continue?”

“You may!” You replied softly as Rimmer delicately tugged at your hips to bring you against him.

“Hmm…” Rimmer sighed as he swayed you gently “This is all I’ve wanted all day”

“Really?” You raised your eyebrow with a smile “So you wouldn’t want to get into bed then?”

“Well that…” Rimmer paused as he picked you up, wrapping your legs round his waist “Is out of the question! But you know I just like being with you”

“I know darling” You smiled down at him as you ran your thumb across the scar along his jaw “I love you”

“I love you too” Rimmer’s voice was soft as he held you tightly, carefully letting your feet meet the floor again “Completely and totally!”

“I’m a lucky girl”

“I think I’m the lucky one” Rimmer cooed, his eyes locked on yours as he gently tucked your hair behind your ears, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks before his hands made their way slowly down your body to entwine with yours “Thank you for giving me the light of the day”

“Thank you for letting me in!” You spoke quietly as you moved closer, pressing yourself against him “Now where were we before Hollister showed up?”

“Hmm I think I remember” Rimmer smiled sweetly as you felt his arm wrapped tightly round your waist while he held your face in his free hand bringing you into a kiss, tilting his head slightly, his tongue moving gracefully with yours as his thumb brushed gently across your cheek “Maybe we should take this to the bed?”

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #arnold j rimmer #arnold judas rimmer #rimmer #hologram #red dwarf fanfic #arnold rimmer x reader #rimmer x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #red dwarf fanfiction

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whatthesmeg · 1 month

Text

-> welcome to red dwarf. would you like some toast?

this is a red dwarf sideblog so i can reply from this blog but i follow from awfully-athena!!!

i mostly repost red dwarf stuff and occasionally write self-indulgent arnold rimmer x reader fics (see below!). enjoy ur stay !!!!

-> when things go wrong || arnold rimmer x reader

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #dave lister #the cat #kryten #starbug

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secondtechnicianrimmer · 3 months

Text

Master List

welcome to my blog! i hope you like what i’ve got to offer. if you do, please consider reblogging and reviewing! and send me a message anytime, if you’d like to chat! :)

Space Corp. Directive #1215225

For some ungodly reason, you fancy the second technician, but you'd be damned if you ever admitted it. (Rimmer x (F) reader)

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

#arnold rimmer #red dwarf #chris barrie #my post #arnold rimmer imagine #arnold rimmer reader #arnold rimmer smut #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold rimmer x you #arnold rimmer you

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sochawrites · 1 year

Note

in that case, would it be alright to ask for headcanons of rimmer with a male significant other who loves listening to his weird tangents and treating him gently and with kindness?

Sure, it would be alright^^

I wanted to finish it a few days ago, but my roommate arrived at our dorms, which obliterated my chances of staying up late... And sorry it took so long!

Anyways, I hope you'll find it to your liking 🫡

A war within

Arnold Rimmer x Male!reader

big thanks should go to my favourite gal✨ @zamppera, for giving me ideas and making this process a lot funnier than it usually is!

There might have been a meaningful conversation the first time around, a simple question evolving into a monstrous monologue about Ivan the Terrible and his sexual rituals

Rimmer had expected you to join Lister and run away from his rambling, yet, you were still there, listening, jolly-eyed, your chin rested up in your palm, a concentrated look on your face

He stuttered when he noticed, and his face got red with a mix of anger, at himself as he was under the impression he humiliated himself, and with embarrassment itself, and completely stopped with his storytelling

"Hey, why'd you stop? It was getting interesting."

He blinked at you a few times before he came up with an answer, "T-The... The boiler room! The boiler room isn't going to clean itself!"

And with that, he stormed out of the room

Yet the boiler room was not, in fact, cleaned that day

He thought that was it, that you were not going to listen to his stories ever again

It would probably be for the better, you wouldn't get bored by him so soon at least

But that wasn't the case

Whenever he was talking, you seemed to be there, paying attention, hanging on his every word, even encouraging him to continue some of the thoughts Lister had cut short

Whatever it may be that he is talking about at the moment – you are there, and you are listening to him, actually listening!

He doesn't get it

He's genuinely flabbergasted, bamboozled, and for the longest time he just assumes you're there just to have something to laugh at with Lister behind his back

You're going to spend a lot of time assuring him that that's not the case

If he ever brings it up, that is

He feels funky whenever you look at him, or talk to him, butterflies in his stomach kind of funky

The same funky when his mother acknowledged his existence

He always thought he would get used to it, used to you and your presence, especially after you got closer, after you became a pair

But he never did

Whenever you were around, you made him mushy, soft and warm

He didn't know whether he hated it, or loved it, fighting a battle within himself

But that wasn't the only battle raging inside him

The constant doubting of his emotions, his decisions, his intellect...

Sometimes it got too strong to hide

"Arn? Is everything alright?"

"Yes! Yes, everything's dandy, diddly dandy to be exact. Oh, look, a loose screw, I should go and find a-"

"Nothing's alright when you say dandy, and diddly is making it even worse. Come on starlight, don't hide from me."

He would much rather just vanish from the room or existence, rather than try to explain what he was feeling

And you knew

That's exactly why you closed the distance between your bodies and trapped his face in your hands

"Arn, please, don't shut yourself in."

He avoided your gaze like fire, yet the hurt behind his eyes was painfully obvious

The fact that his face was as red as the Dwarfs coating was not easing Rimmer at all

Yeah, it will take a lot longer to get used to you and to his emotions

Out of all the people in his life, you're the only one who has ever got him to open up to a such extent

He appreciated that you were there for him, that he had someone to turn to, someone who didn't make fun of him the moment he opened his mouth

A rarity abort the Red Dwarf

Just as rare as Arnold being proud, this time of the fact he could call you his boyfriend

#arnold rimmer #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold j rimmer #red dwarf #red dwarf x reader #reader insert #male reader #request #anon request #i almost made a “I am a fish” joke at the end #don't know if I'm glad I stopped myself #sorry once more it took so long!#I should have put some warning that English isn't my first language so if there's a phrase that doesn't make sense. sorry!#For some reason I have diddly dandy fixed as a happy expression. have I ever heard it irl? I don't recall. but the vibe fits well :D

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