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lizabethstucker · 2 years

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Book Review: Classics Mutilated: CTRL-ALT-LIT edited by Jeff Conner

Thirteen stories in which classic tales and authors are combined with horror or fantasy tales and/or tropes. Or, as the editor calls it, Monster Lit, only with an updated twist or two to keep the new sub-genre alive. Each story has a black and white drawing that invokes the tale that will follow. I’m tempted to copy some of them to frame, they are that good. I’ve never heard of this publisher, IDW out of San Diego until I stumbled across this book at my used book store.

As with any collection, there are highs and lows. Sadly I DNF’d two of the stories, one due to animal/animal-human hybrid abuse. Abuse, especially of animals and children, is a hard line for me, one I do not handle well. If it is a main part of a story, I’m not reading, no matter who the author is or how talented they might be. Most of the stories within this collection were good enough, a few were fantastic. Would I recommend it? Primarily for horror fans. The literature side was more prevalent at the beginning compared to later in the story. A good read overall. 3 out of 5.

“The Fairest of Them All” by Sean Taylor. The dwarves worry about the human girl that they’ve taken into their lives and home. Leader, believed to be the oldest, knows that sooner or later the Wicked Queen will find Snow. Then there will be choices to be made. When an enchanted mirror is discovered deep in the mine, with a girl trapped inside, they take it to Snow. Wow, this really twists the two stories (“Snow White & the Seven Dwarves” and “Alice in Wonderland”) off-kilter, yet there is also a certain logic to this mashup. As they say, “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely”. 4 out of 5

“Anne-Droid of Green Gables” by Lezli Robyn. Matthew Cuthbert needed help on the farm so, using his savings, he purchased a refurbished prototype android that was never put into mass production. Only he didn’t get the expected androgynous adult droid. Instead he receives a female child overflowing with curiosity about the world and longing for both a bosom friend and a forever home. Let’s start with that illustration, an adorable mix of android and big-eyed rag doll. It makes you want to hug her and keep her safe. As to the story, there are a few changes, other than the obvious. For instance, Matthew and Marilla are a married couple rather than siblings. I absolutely enjoyed this sweet story! 4.5 out of 5

“Little Women in Black” by Louisa May Alcott & Rick Hautala. The March girls are knitting socks for the Union soldiers while lamenting being poor. Their father is serving as a chaplain in Mr. Lincoln’s Army. Beth appears to be a ghost, unable to interact with her family despite her best efforts, yet still present. Jo is still tomboyish, although there are hints that she might actually be trans, or would’ve been in modern times. She makes it clear that she would much prefer to be male and fights the attempts to make her into a proper woman. Jo still meets Laurie, but here we’re given strong hints that he is from another planet. I was fascinated by this story, but I felt it deserved expansion. 4 out of 5

“Death Stopped for Miss Dickinson” by Kristine Kathryn Rusch. Poet Emily Dickinson, very much an introvert, meets a mysterious man in the graveyard outside her window. She becomes terrified that he could become immortal if her sister doesn’t destroy all her work after dying. The tale is jumpy, told from different viewpoints, but never settling long enough to connect. Perhaps a more fluid method of storytelling would’ve increased my enjoyment as there were some jewels of pure beauty in the story, but the nonlinear method just constantly jolted my enjoyment. And, by the way, was Thomas Higgonson really needed? I think not. My first disappointing story. 3 out of 5.

“Twilight of the Gods” by Chris Ryall. Loki is exiled to Jotunheim, his presence unwanted by the people of Asgard. Fine with him as Asgard was no longer working for him. He’s dropped into a new environment that helps Loki find himself. That’s pretty much as far as I got. I could blame Marvel and Tom Hiddleston giving us such a marvelous and witty version of Loki or perhaps the fact that this is a mashup with 90210, a series that I abhorred (along with all the other CW/UPN series in this vapid style), but the reality is that Ryall’s writing voice alternately bored and annoyed me. DNF

“Pokky Man” by Marc Laidlaw. When Hemlock Pyne was found “asleep” at a Pokkypet Reserve, his films were turned over to filmmaker Vernor Hertzwig. Hertzwig interviews Pyne’s friends and acquaintances as well. Huh, a skewed look at Pokeman and Werner Hertzog in this deep dive of what happened to Pyne. Or perhaps it should be why it happened is more accurate. After the disappointments of the last two stories, I was happy to find myself engrossed once again. Strange and intriguing. 3.5 out of 5

“Vicious” by Mark Morris. Sid Vicious is sick, turning on his friends and bandmates, dealing with what is probably crabs, and not giving a shit about pretty much anything when a beautiful black woman appears in the broom closet where Sid had fucked the American fangirl. He’s at a crossroads and must make a decision that will direct his life. This one was hard to rate, but the writing is hardcore and, based on what I remember of Vicious, dead on characterwise. 3.5 out of 5

“From Hell’s Heart” by Nancy Collins. Three men, all new to the trapping trade, decide to pool their resources and partner up. It is successful until the night they trap a strange creature who manages to bite one of them in the hand. As the hand becomes horribly infected, the unnamed narrator goes to the trading post for laudanum, meeting a man named Ahab, a former sea captain, who asks to accompany him back to the cabin where his two partners await. Once there, they discover one man dead and the other no longer recognizable as human. Ahab relates an extraordinary tale before following the creature into the night. I delayed reading this for a bit as I was not a fan of either Moby Dick nor Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner, the inspirations for this story. Yet I found it surprisingly intriguing, although with a most disturbing ending. 3 out of 5.

“Frankenbilly” by John Shirley. While working as a soundman on the set of “Billy the Kid Versus Dracula”, our unnamed narrator meets a mysterious cowboy who claims to be the real Billy the Kid, although he prefers to be called Henry now. He relates a strange tale of how he met the doctor who inspired Mary Shelley’s Dr. Frankenstein before changing his mind about letting that story out. The mixture of fact (the film, the location, the actors involved, some of the history of Billy and Pat) and fiction makes for an interesting horror tale. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Green Menace” by Thomas Tessier. Fleeing Washington after his Senate censure, Senator Joe McCarthy checks into a fishing lodge in the middle of Wisconsin to reconsider his future plans, brood, and do some heavy drinking. Instead he finds himself at war with frogs unlike any he has seen before. I’m honestly not certain why this story appealed to me considering my absolute abhorrence of McCarthy, but it did pull me into its universe. I was pleased to see that the narrator, young Kurt, comes to see McCarthy for what he really was as he grew up and did some research. 3.5 out of 5.

“Quoth the Rock Star” by Rio Youers. When a raven appears at a Doors concert, Jim Morrison is drawn to follow the creature despite believing that it might be a hallucination due to LSD. Walking through the streets of Baltimore, Jim comes to believe that it might be the soul of a broken person. He didn’t expect to meet the long dead Edgar Allan Poe. There begins a partial meeting of two men with much in common, merging into a fight for control, for life, for another chance to create. Two troubled geniuses, both burning themself out through depression, in desperate search for love and a different life. Youers’ voice is so compelling. Knowledge of both men’s lives and works will definitely add to a reader’s enjoyment. 4 out of 5.

“The Happiest Hell on Earth” by John Skipp & Cody Goodfellow. After 37 years in solitary confinement, the elephant man breaks loose, committing suicide, and leaving behind a manuscript that describes how the Animal Wars came to be. I was nervous enough to read this story based on the art that preceded it, but once I started reading, I knew it was more than I could stomach. The animal and animal/hybrid abuse is throughout the entire story, the callousness too much for me. Before I quit, I saw references to Dr. Moreau, another story I find difficult to read, and some barely disguised swipes at Disney. DNF

“Dread Island” by Joe R. Lansdale. Huck Finn and Jim are convinced by Becky Thatcher to go after Tom Sawyer and Joe Hardy when they decide to go to Dread Island. The island, set in the middle of the Mississippi River, can only be seen on the first night of a full moon. Its reputation is that of deadly danger, but Huck cannot abandon his friend and disappoint Becky. Jim reluctantly goes with him. I’ve never read anything from Lansdale before although I’m aware that he has a strong fan base in SFF. If his books are as imaginative and engrossing as this story, I can understand why. First I love that the relationship between Jim and Huck is very father and son as well as friends. Plus Jim is so much more knowledgeable about things and Huck is willing to listen, even if he still insists on going after Tom. Lansdale has mixed Twain’s Huck with Uncle Remus’ Brer animals and Cthulhu into a horrifying adventure. There are even a few recognizable guest appearances from both literature and history, giving a hint as to how this island operates. Brilliant! 4 out of 5.

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