18: kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap!!!!!
hello :) this was sent in july i think :) happy six months baby
anyway i talked with @pontah back in october about an urban fantasy town where everyone had some sort of supernatural heritage, and i haven't stopped thinking about it. so this was supposed to be a little warm up to help me break writer's block!
so of course it's 3.6k :) i present my lil selkie anakin au ! <3
(warnings for light hearted crack and that good good good mutual possessive/obsessiveness)
Anakin knows his mother, may the sea keep her soul, would flay him alive for what he’s about to do. But he can’t help it. He’s about to go on the biggest, most important date of his entire life. One he knows will be the last first date he ever goes on.
Because Obi-Wan is it for him.
Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff he doesn’t know about Obi-Wan, fine. His career, his hobbies, his past, his supernatural species. But Anakin doesn’t need to know that stuff.
The barista at Anakin’s coffeeshop had called out a large cappuccino with oat milk—this coffeeshop, run by fae, legally couldn’t ask for the customers’ names—and Anakin had stepped forward to collect his drink at the same time Obi-Wan had. Their hands had brushed. Obi-Wan, when he turned to apologize to Anakin with an arched eyebrow, had had the sea in his eyes. He’d smelled like home, even though he didn’t have the yellow eyes of another selkie.
He’d been beautiful with hair the bronzed red of a sunken, rusted skipper, and the faintest of laughter lines around his breathtakingly colorful eyes. He’d worn a dark blue turtleneck to fight of the winter chill, but Anakin could just see shining blue twinkle at him whenever the man moved.
Anakin had been a goner. So much of a goner that he hadn’t even protested the man taking his caffeine. Much. And Obi-Wan, though he had been careful to not give his name to Anakin in Coff-Fae, had stood next to him to wait. Ostensibly to see if the next drink would be his, but the other man also didn’t wait to start sipping from the drink in his hands.
When the fae had called out another large cappuccino with oat milk but an extra shot, Obi-Wan had thrown his head back on a laugh that sounded like the best piece of music Anakin had ever heard. “My mistake,” the older man had admitted with a shake of his head. Beneath his beard, Anakin had been able to see deep dimples. Anakin had known the way people crazy in love know things that he would probably forgive anything and everything the man could possibly do to him.
And he had very many thoughts of what the man could do to him.
“Looks like I owe you a drink,” Obi-Wan had told him with a glint in his eyes, like the sun setting over glistening waves. Looking at him made Anakin feel homesick, though he’d been landlocked for years now and this feeling settled strangely inside of him. If one could be homesick for a home not yet experienced, that’s what Anakin had felt.
So it had been no wonder that Anakin had held him to that. When Obi-Wan had asked for his number, Anakin had handed his whole phone over instead without question.
“I could be one of the fae,” Obi-Wan had seemed so amused, even as he entered in his phone number. His accent had been so crisp. Anakin had thought he could make a fortune doing audio books. “Careful with what sort of information you give out.”
“Are you part dragon?” Anakin had asked. “Hoarding all your own information to your chest—look, you even stole my coffee and I don’t know your name.”
“It’s Obi-Wan,” he’d told him with a slight smile, but he hadn’t denied being dragon. If he were, that would be so cool. Anakin had never dated a dragon before. Selkies usually didn’t stray far from the waters, and Anakin’s dating life reflected that for the most part. Other than a brief stint with a Dryad named Padmé that had ended in flames and an even shorter romance with a vampire that had ended in blood and tears (and tears of blood), Anakin had remained monogamous to the sea and all its lovely residents.
Besides, Anakin hadn’t moved to the city for romance. No, he’d chosen the biggest, most landlocked city to become absolutely lost in for a reason. He hadn’t particularly wanted to date anyone after his mother’s passing, desiring instead to focus on himself.
So his dating pool became a dating puddle, and he was fine with that. Quite content, actually.
But then Obi-Wan had accidentally claimed the wrong coffee and Anakin had a date for tonight.
“It’s funny,” Obi-Wan had told him right as they were about to part ways. “I usually get tea.”
A summer wedding on the coast would be magnificent, Anakin had decided. Unless Obi-Wan didn’t want to wait that long. A late winter wedding was just as perfect.
So now Anakin’s five minutes from leaving his house to go on the last first date in entire life with his future spouse, and he’s nervous as he’s ever been in his life. He knows Obi-Wan had liked something about him—or he wouldn’t have invited him for drinks, wouldn’t have let Anakin choose the location—but what if he doesn’t like him later? What if he doesn’t like him after they talk for a few minutes? It’s not like Anakin is all that special compared to some of the folk around the city. Selkies look quite normal, actually. He’d be able to go into the mortal realm and pass fluidly as a human. Only his golden eyes would set him apart.
He doesn’t have the translucent wings of the fae or the constant aroma of flowers like the nymphs. Vampiric skin is flawless, while werewolves’ muscles are almost publicly indecent. Mermaids’ hair always wins the prizes, not to mention the confidence they seem to hold themselves with. And Anakin doesn’t even want to think about the dangerous beauty of the elvish descendants.
But with so many interesting and head-turning residents of their city, it’s easy to think of Obi-Wan growing bored of Anakin. Or not finding him interesting.
The thought is devastating.
Anakin had asked his mother once when he was very young if falling in love easily was a selkie trait. At the time he’d been infatuated with a fisherman’s daughter who must have been part Nereid for the way she was able to swim. That had been what made Anakin fall in love with her.
His mother had laughed and told him no, that most selkies fell in love perhaps two or three times in their life, and that they only fell in trust once.
Anain hadn’t understood then. His mother, probably rightfully so, had taken his pelt away from him and locked it up in her bedroom next to hers just in case. “The person who takes your pelt controls you, do you understand?” she’d asked him carefully.
“Like vampires do?” Anakin has asked. He’d not yet met a vampire, but he’d read of their thralls, their ability to manipulate minds.
“No,” his mother had said. “But if you give your pelt to the wrong person and they refuse to give it back, you’ll never be able to shift again. You’ll never be able to find your way home. Our ancestors have been forced into terrible things by the worst sorts of people.”
Anakin had thought and thought on her words because they seemed uncharacteristically serious. He’d told her that he didn’t think the fisherman’s daughter capable of doing terrible things to him.
That had been when his mother had taken his pelt. Just to be safe. “Love whoever you want, Little Fin,” his mother had said, brushing their noses together. “But only trust the once.”
Presently, Anakin strokes his fingers down the soft fur of the pelt he’d laid out on his bed. It’s much browner than the rest of his colony’s distinctive gray hues, had made him stick out like a sore thumb when he was growing up. All the grown-ups had known he was destined for warmer waters just from his coloring.
His mom, if she were alive, would kill him for what he’s about to do. But he can’t—he needs—he needs this date to go well because he needs the next one to go well because he needs the next one as well to go just as well because he’s in love. He is.
And the date can’t go well if Anakin’s a nervous wreck the whole time. And. Well. Nothing calms him down as much as wearing his pelt, even if he’s not shifted into his seal body.
So. It’s stupid. It’s incredibly dumb. But at least he’s aware of it. At least he understands how absolutely stupid he’s being.
He shrugs off his current jacket and picks up his pelt. In his hands, it morphs into a dark brown aviator style jacket, one that complements the light blue of his shirt. His palms are sweaty, but the reassuring weight of his pelt around his shoulders already helps to slow his heart rate.
In front of the mirror, he runs his hands through his hair once more, fixing the chestnut strands to the best of his ability. They still look wild, but there’s a part of the ocean in his core. He cannot be tempered into something tame.
He checks his phone and curses at the time. He’d told Obi-Wan to meet him in front of his favorite karaoke bar at eight in the evening and it was a quarter til.
At least his pelt will keep him warm on the jog over to the bar. And then hopefully a combination of Obi-Wan’s body and alcohol will keep him warm the rest of the night.
—-
Obi-Wan is already there when Anakin arrives at a quite reasonable hop-walk-run. He’s standing nervously outside the place with his hands stuffed into a jacket that looks almost exactly like Anakin’s, if a ffew shades darker with much less fur trim. He looks gorgeous in the streetlight, dressed in a white shirt and sensible pants. And he looks nervous.
Anakin’s heart flutters at the idea that Obi-Wan is nervous over their date. It’s flattering and adorable and Anakin loves him so much he’s going to burst with it.
“Obi-Wan!” Anakin greets enthusiastically, coming to a stop right before him. He fiddles with the strands of his hair again, hoping he hadn’t messed it too far up with his hasty commute to the bar. “Hi,” it’s breathless, but Anakin can’t be too embarrassed by that when Obi-Wan still looks so flustered and nervous.
“Anakin, hello,” Obi-Wan tells him in that gentle, waves-lapping-at-the-shore voice. He reaches out to help him fix his hair, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin behind his ear as he tucks one of his curls into place. Anakin shivers. Anakin is going to die. Anakin is going to die very, very happy.
“Hi,” he says.
“We’ve done that bit,” Obi-Wan murmurs, but the words are said gently, only mocking by half. Anakin grins along. “A karaoke bar?” his future husband asks him suddenly, gesturing up at the neon sign.
“Have you ever been?” Anakin asks, enthused. “Sir Ren’s is the best in the city I think. I love karaoke and the drinks are really decently priced! They do awesome seafood too, their fish and chips are just to die for!”
“I bet,” Obi-Wan mutters with a strange twist of his lips that throws his whole face into something that looks almost scary.
“Oh shit, are you vegan?” Anakin asks. “I didn’t even ask. I’m sure they have something vegan. Or not fishy. A seaweed salad maybe.”
The truth is this place too, steeped in its ocean aesthetic, also reminds Anakin of home. A vague home-like sensation that makes him feel more relaxed in the bar’s torn-up booths and sticky tables.
And also, Anakin’s friends with half the bar staff so he gets drinks on the house. And Anakin just really likes karaoke. He almost never puts in the ear plugs they hand out the door for those not looking to be lured in by a siren or mermaid’s voice. They just don’t really affect him all that much. It might be because he’s of the sea himself or because he, as a selkie, appreciates pretty things without feeling the urge to own them.
“You don’t have to go up if you don’t want to,” Anakin is quick to reassure his date as he grabs him by the arm and tows him inside. “I won’t judge either way! It’s just a fun thing! Oh–grab those ear plugs, for when the sirens go up.”
Obi-Wan’s face does that weird disgusted thing again before he grabs two sets, seemingly unable to say no to Anakin. It makes Anakin feel nice and warm on the inside, that he’s being trusted like this.
It feels important.
They settle at a small table at the back of the performance area. A werewolf is warbling on about her girlfriend into the microphone, singing along to a popular song from ten years ago. Good. That’s the best sort of atmosphere for a karaoke bar. Anakin doesn’t want Obi-Wan to be impressed by anyone other than him. He hopes no sirens show up. He’ll cover Obi-Wan’s ears with his own hands should they start singing.
“I’m not vegan,” Obi-Wan tells him as Anakin tries to flag down the barkeep. “Whatever you’re having is fine.”
“We can split,” Anakin chirps, already standing up. “Food, not drinks.”
The werewolf gets off the stage while Anakin places their order. He comes back to the tiny table with both glasses clutched tightly in his hands. “Navy strength gin,” he tells Obi-Wan. “So go slow.”
Obi-Wan tears his eyes away from the stage where the werewolf’s girlfriend, a vampire, is selecting her song. “Noted,” he says. “Thank you.” And then, “So, do you like…singing?”
It’s beautifully easy to slip into casual conversation with Obi-Wan, and it’s almost enough to forget for a second how painfully and totally Anakin wants to know everything about his conversation partner. Not just the surface-level stuff, though the surface level stuff is ridiculously charming. Obi-Wan only eats over-medium eggs for breakfast, on wheat toast, with tea. He never wears shoes inside the house but absolutely wears slippers. He doesn’t celebrate the holiday, but he travels every other month to visit his father.
They eat and chat and time passes slowly and then like it’s been sped up. Anakin thinks about breaking the conversation to go and sing his own love song to Obi-Wan up on stage, but he knows probably he’ll only have a few more hours with Obi-Wan tonight. He doesn’t want to take him home and sleep with him tonight. He wants to do this nice and proper and respectful and slow.
Then a siren, bedecked in glittering blue and green scales and feathers, approaches the stage from the back. Anakin’s attention is snagged on her as she grips the microphone stand with nails so long they could be talons. Obi-Wan stiffens beside him and offers Anakin the complementary earplugs immediately.
Anakin watches Obi-Wan put his in before he follows suit, needing to make sure Obi-Wan isn’t going to be listening, needing to make sure Obi-Wan won’t be enthralled, that the only person he’s going to look at like that is Anakin.
Unable to have a conversation with the earplugs in, Anakin turns to watch the singer. It’s always sort of fascinated him, the way sirens sing. They perform, even when there is no reason to. He’d wondered for years why sirens would go to karaoke bars if they passed out headphones to their guests to keep them from becoming enchanted.
Then he’d realized that sirens just enjoy singing, that it’s a part of them as much as the ocean is. And Anakin’s always liked watching people enjoy what they enjoy, so he smiles at the singer and rests his hand on his fist as he pretends to listen to the music. He’d probably even take his headphones off if Obi-Wan weren’t here. But he doesn’t want Obi-Wan to get any brilliant ideas about taking his own ear plugs out.
When she finishes, everyone claps politely and she bows before walking off the stage. A few heads turn to follow her, perhaps only partially wearing their ear plugs, but no one causes a scene.
Obi-Wan’s arm wraps around his waist and Anakin turns to look at him with a dazed smile as he takes his ear plugs out. They’re touching. It feels great. Those are Obi-Wan’s fingers on Anakin’s hip. It’s great.
Obi-Wan doesn’t look nearly as happy. “Snap out of it,” he tells him bluntly, and Anakin blinks in confusion. Obi-Wan isn’t wearing his own headphones anymore, but Anakin hadn’t seen him take them off. “It’s just an enchantment. Not talent.”
“Her voice was beautiful,” Anakin points out. He doesn’t need to hear it to know that. She’s a siren. “I’m sure if no one was wearing headphones she wouldn’t be able to walk off the stage for the men throwing themselves at her. Talent and enchantment.”
Obi-Wan’s jaw clenches and he stands abruptly. Anakin is delighted.
“Are you going to sing?” he asks. “Oh, that would be amazing.”
His date looks rather grouchy about the whole thing but he makes his way to the stage anyway.
He doesn’t even look for a song, just seems to choose the fifth option he sees. He’s still frowning. Anakin is going to love him forever.
And then the music kicks on and he sings.
And it’s wonderful. It’s beautiful. It’s…if there are words to describe the way Obi-Wan’s voice sounds then Anakin can’t remember them. It sounds to his ears like everything he’s ever wanted or held precious. The ocean crashing against eroded rocks. His mother gutting a fish for dinner. Stumbling behind the group of older kids as they all shift from human to sealfolk mid fall off a cliff-face.
Anakin wants. Anakin yearns.
It could be ten years before Obi-Wan closes his mouth, the song concluding. It could be ten seconds. It feels as if Anakin has been irrevocably changed. If he knew Obi-Wan was going to be his husband before, he’s doubly sure now.
He tears his eyes away from Obi-Wan who is shamefully letting go of the microphone to look at everyone around them.
They’re affected. Anakin is going to scream and rage from how affected they look. One tries to stand to greet Obi-Wan as he steps off the stage, but Obi-Wan, perfect Obi-Wan, is having none of it. It calms Anakin slightly that no one—no matter how pretty or fascinating or strange—can tear Obi-Wan’s attention away from him. From Anakin. He moves with the sort of predator’s grace Anakin’s never seen in person before, but his eyes are locked on him and he’s…smirking almost.
Anakin’s never thought about committing sexual acts in a public space, not really, but just half a nod from Obi-Wan and he’s ready to tear their pants off.
He settles back into his seat and before Anakin can think too much about it, he’s crawling over to Obi-Wan and straddling his waist in a sort of half-minded frenzy. Obi-Wan’s hands grip him closer and Anakin doesn’t hesitate to press their mouths together in a kiss much too heated for his plans on going slow.
But Obi-Wan matches him immediately, clutching at his waist and pulling him tight against him as his hands trail up his lower back. Anakin can’t fight the shiver at the sensation and he doesn’t even think to argue before Obi-Wan’s hands are shucking his jacket off. The only thing that matters is removing Obi-Wan’s own layers, and the man seems absolutely willing to help him in this endeavor as his tongue traces the backs of his teeth.
Anakin whimpers and groans and tangles their tongues together, pushing into Obi-Wan’s mouth so he can taste him. He’s never tasted anything like Obi-Wan before. Salty but sweet. Addicting. Mind-numbingly addicting.
He’s got Obi-Wan’s jacket off and somewhere on the floor and his hands are on Obi-Wan’s shirt when a very unimpressed voice cuts through the fog in both their heads.
“Hey, none of that,” the bartender says. “You’re in public for Pan’s sake.”
Obi-Wan breaks the kiss and he looks so achingly, absolutely beautiful all flushed from Anakin’s attentions that Anakin wants to lean back in and lick his own spit off of Obi-Wan’s lip.
Satisfied he’s stopped them from fucking in his lounge, the bartender leaves and Anakin has the singular displeasure of watching Obi-Wan start to regret his own lapse in control or public decency.
“We should get out of here,” he hears himself with a dazed grin, licking his lips pointedly. “Immediately.”
Obi-Wan’s face pales and Anakin furrows his eyebrows because his date looks horrified, but his cock is still hard beneath him. It’s quite a strange reaction, but even worse is the way Obi-Wan bolts up, hands forcing Anakin out of his lap, and into his discarded chair.
“Fuck,” Obi-Wan curses, bending down to grab his jacket from the floor. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m—I’m so, so sorry, Anakin.”
And then he leaves. Just like that. He doesn’t even grab his phone which is sitting on the table. He just…hightails it out of the bar as if he’s being chased.
Anakin has half a mind to chase him, just to ask him what the hell happened and what the hell he did and why he’s leaving and if Anakin can come with him. But he doesn’t. He…knows when someone doesn’t want him around. It breaks his heart that Obi-Wan…well.
He pockets Obi-Wan’s phone because he’s a good person and he should figure out how to get it back to him. Then he stands, stretches, and bends down to collect his jacket from where it’d been pushed to the floor.
Only it’s the wrong color, two shades too light to be Anakin’s pelt.
He stares at Obi-Wan’s jacket clutched in his hands.
“Oh,” he says out loud. “Fuck.”
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Fiction Coffee
First Excerpt:
I sit before the counter, a coffee cup on the said counter. Obviously filled with coffee, I'm generally a hot drink drinker. As I sit, gently have my hands around the cup. Nursing its warmth.
My eyes look around the room. Rolling over the shelves of books, all of which I've read countless times. Over the stools and chairs arranged around tables all over. The posters hanging the walls, each showing a different creature. A griffin. A dragon. A Unicorn. Some mermaids. The heroes. I tick each one off in my head. I glance at the counter before me. The marble's swirling design, grays, whites, and blacks dancing with each other. The cash register all ready for the day ahead. Everything in place. Where it should be.
I finally stare out the big front window, watching as a few people pass. It's not quite time for the morning rush. Light is slowly getting brighter by each passing minute. I wait patiently. The sign on the glass door says 'Closed' until I flip it over. The painted decal on the front is backward, made for the people passing by. But I know the words by heart.
"Saoinn's Fantasy Coffee Shop"
I watch as a certain figure pass in front. They are running past. I sigh and take one last sip of my coffee. They must have realized they passed the place they were going and I saw them run to the front of my door. I shake my head and walk to the front, reluctant to leave my coffee. I open the door for them and flip over the 'Closed' sign so now it says 'Open'.
Here comes the chaos.
Second Excerpt:
I sit in the store. It’s a slow day and it’s a slow hour. An elderly couple sits at one of the tables, chatting softly.
I drink in the scene around me. It felt strangely still. My employee working in the back, Felicia Nadiya, stocking up things. For a fairy she is quite strong. I faintly hear her singing along to her music. I shake my head and look out the front window.
There’s a hot person.
Standing outside my door.
Reading my sign.
Now I’m alert.
My heart skips a beat. They look perfect. They might be the mate I’ve been looking for, since leaving the sea.
They enter my coffee shop. I plaster on my best smile, which instead feeling fake, it felt genuine. I say in the calmest voice I could muster, “Hello! Welcome to ‘Saoinn’s Fantasy Coffee Shop’ I’m Saoinn and I’m here to assist you in any way I can.”
“Yeah!” Their voice sounds like a nice medium between deep and high pitch, I suppress a shiver. “I heard I could check out books here. The library doesn’t have the books I’m looking for, so I wonder if you might do.”
My heart does a flip, “I can look for you! I have a wide selection of different fantasy books, obviously, and science fiction. What are you looking for?” I move out from behind the counter.
I put my arm around his shoulders and led them to the shelves. I mentally slapped myself, why did I do that?
A blush rose to their cheeks, “I uhh, was looking for books about Selkies.”
My mind now races, one prominent question in my head. ‘Do they know I am one?’
I clear my throat and remove my arm from their shoulders, “Yeah! We have quite a few in here, are you looking for historical mythology or a generalized story?” I start looking for the titles.
“I’m looking for a good story. I wanna see human’s interpretations of them.” They shrugs and then their eyes went wide.
I tighten my jaw. This person must be a mythical creature as well. Only mythics call people ‘humans.’ But a faint smile play at my lips. They are so perfect.
“I have a few!” I pull them from the shelves and carried them to the counter.
They visibly relax and walk over to the counter with me, “Awesome! May I borrow them?”
I nod, “Yeah! I just need you to fill something out.” I lean over the counter and stretched to get my clipboard of ‘check outs’. Unfortunately for me it’s a little far beneath the counter hanging, but I managed to grab it.
I straighten back up and see the person’s face a few shades of red. At first I was confused then I realized I wore tight pants today. I just gave them a show of my ass. Now I’m red too.
They cough, “What do I need to fill out?”
“Oh! Yeah! Just write your name and phone number and the books you are borrowing. Also I need the date.” I point to each section where they need to write.
They nod and took the clipboard from my hands and the pen I offered. Then they sat down at a nearby table and started filling out the spaces.
In effort to fill the silence, I blurted out, “What are your pronouns?”
They looked up at me with surprise. Another mental slap to myself. They smile, “He/him, you?”
“They/them please.” I smile slightly relieved at the sight of his smile. Man, that was an incredibly smile. It makes my heart melt just a little.
“You are a cute person.” He says. Is he flirting? I’m not good with this.
“You’re handsome yourself.” Was that good? I can’t tell, I need my Wing-woman.
“Thank you.” He says.
I smile at that and say, with finger guns, “No problemo.”
He laughs. Oh sea’s palace, that laugh is melodic. I’ll listen to it all day if I could.
“You seem to be quite the interesting being.” He gives another smile. One that melts my heart, again.
“If you ever want to hang out here, you are welcomed.” I blurt out. Another burst of words? What is wrong with me?
“I would love to. Unfortunately I have to go, thanks Saoinn. You’re the best.” He winks and picks up the books, leaving the clipboard on the counter. And walks out.
“See ya!” I say after him.
He nods his head, “See you soon.”
I pick up the clipboard. I see his handwriting, it’s so pretty. Every words seems to flow into each other, each letter distinct.
I see his name.
‘Quasn’
Third Excerpt:
Everyday, my mind wanders. It could be to my past life. Or it could be to the strange future. Well, since meeting Quasn, he is all I can think of.
I just imagine him hugging me. Speaking kind words in that wonderful medium voice. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I’ve never thought these things before about anyone.
My mind also wanders to our only interaction. Analyzing every detail. Reliving it.
“Hey! Saoinn! Are you there?” Felicia waves her hand in front of my face. Snapping me out of my musings.
“Sorry Felicia. I was just... thinking.” I stare out the front window. I place my head on the counter, still staring.
“Lemme guess. It’s about Quasn.” She draws out his name in a teasing tone.
“Shut up!” I sit straight up, “I was thinking of stuff.”
“And it was about Quasn, I know you too well Saoinn.” She’s right. That’s why Felicia's my best friend.
“I give up. Felicia, he just seems like ‘the one’ you know?” I say laying my head back on the counter, this time looking at Felicia.
“Remember what happened last time you said that?” She gives me the ‘look’. The look is just this certain face she makes when she expects me to say one certain thing.
I sigh, “I know, she turned out to be extremely homophobic.” I shiver, “She even called me one gender saying I had to be it. But he’s definitely different! I just have this feeling.”
“Saoinn, I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Please be careful.” Felicia smiles softly, and pats my head.
I nodded, “Can you make me some of your specialty coffee?”
She laughs, “Of course.”
She goes to the coffee machines to make the coffee. I’m still sitting on the stool and my head is still on the counter. I stare at the empty space where Felicia was. There’s a poster on the wall, it’s the one of the dragon.
The dragon is flying above water, a boat just below it. On the boat is some pirates, and some human selkies. How I can tell, I don’t know, I just can. The dragon is purple and black scaled one. Marking the dragon as a shadow dragon. It’s my favorite poster. I got it from a Ren-Fair.
The front door opens, and I sit up and start my mantra, “Hi, welcome to ‘Saionn’s Fantasy Coffee Shop’ I’m Saoinn, and I’m her-“
It’s Quasn. He’s carrying my books into the shop.
“Oh! Hey Quasn!” I smile wide.
“Hey, Saoinn! I’m returning the books I borrowed!” I suppress a shiver, and he walks up to the counter placing the books on there.
“Thanks! I’ll take care of them for you. What did you think of them?” I pick them off the counter and walk to the shelves. Placing them in their respectful places.
“I loved them all! I especially liked the one about the Selkie that risked his life for that dragon. It was so wonderful and daring! I was hanging on every word!” He said with such enthusiasm, I would be willing to hear anything he says.
“HEY SAOINN! YOUR COFFEE IS DONE! So stop flirting with them and introduce me!” Felicia shouts from behind the counter.
My face turns bright red, “You don’t have to be so rude about it! I’m sorry Quasn. She’s a handful sometimes.”
Quasn laughs. That melodic laugh. “It’s quite alright.”
I walk over to the counter with Quasn and Felicia hands me my coffee. “Now Saoinn, who’s your buddy here?” She gives me a knowing look.
“This is Quasn. Quasn this is Felicia.” I say while still blushing lightly. I take a sip of my coffee to help calm my nerves, because they are shot right now.
“Nice to meet you, Felicia.” He sticks out his hand and gives her a smile.
Felicia shakes his hand, “As it is to you, Quasn. I’ve heard a lot about you. Saoinn just loves to-“
I cover her mouth, “Nope we’re not doing that. If you couldn’t tell Quasn, Felicia is my Best Friend.”
He laughs at our interaction. “Well it definitely looks like it. I hope it’s all good things Saoinn talks about.”
I blush harder and Felicia nods. She removes my hand from her mouth, “Would you like any coffee? This one is on the house. I can make you some of my specialty.”
“Yes I would love to, if It’s alright if Saoinn can join me.” He winks. Felicia nods, it’s as if they are speaking in a code I can’t understand. Plus I’m blushing even harder.
“You betcha! Saoinn, take a break. You need it.” She says and turns around to make the coffee.
Quasn wraps his arms around my shoulder and leds me to table. I blush even harder and I stammer out, “You- um you didn’t have to, uh say that. The thing. I, dammit, sorry.”
He gives me a heart warming smile and rubs my shoulder, “It’s alright. You look so adorable doing that anyways. Take your time.”
My heart leaps. No one ever said that to me before. “I, thank you. No one’s ever told me that before. It’s just. I uh... Words don’t ever want to -uh- work! For me.”
We reach a table and we both sit down. His eyes look so soft. They are the blue as the ocean. A pang of loneliness stabs my heart.
He reminds me of home.
“Well, Saoinn,” it sounds like he is purring my name, I suppress another shiver, “I would love to hear more about you.”
My eyes brighten, “What would you like to know?” I take a sip of the coffee.
We just started talking. I felt at ease with him. Anything can go. At one point Felicia gave Quasn his coffee, but we were deep in conversation. It was great. I learned so much about him. He had just move in town. His favorite animal is Dragons. He enjoys Ren-Fairs. (Score for me, and a date idea.) It was perfect. He’s perfect. We didn’t realize it but we talked for hours. I’m glad Felicia let us talk for that long.
But it felt too soon when he had to go.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get back home. My cats need me.” He says getting up. Our coffee cups are empty, we finished them without realizing it.
“Well, do you have any plans tomorrow?” I ask, holding some hope.
Quasn shakes his head, “Not at all do you?”
“Nope the shop is closed tomorrow, that’s why I’m asking.” I say with a playful laugh, “I was wondering if you would like to do something with me tomorrow.”
“I would love to.” That sentence right there made my heart skip a beat.
“Great! Meet you here? Out front? Around 2-ish?” I say.
“It’s a date.” He gives me hug.
Oh ocean above, that hug was better than anything I could ever imagine. It was over too soon.
“See you tomorrow, Saoinn!” He waves and walks out the door.
“See you then!” I call after him. I watch him go then do a little happy dance.
“Great job Saoinn! But you owe me for that.” Felicia walks next to me.
I hug her, “You are the best! I promise I’ll get you something at the next Ren-Fair.”
“Yeah yeah I know. Don’t worry I’ll help you get ready for your date.” She smiles.
“Thank you so much!!” I hug her tighter.
I got a date! With the most perfect boy ever! Tomorrow is going to be the best.
Fourth Excerpt:
Today’s the big day! I almost didn’t get any sleep last night. Just thinking Quasn and I. On a date. Together. I just get so giddy, and eventually Felicia called me and told me to go to bed. I woke up early getting a total of 4 hours of sleep. The shop’s close, thankfully.
I start getting ready, while doing the daily tasks to keep the coffee shop running. I skip breakfast, hurrying for I don’t know when Quasn will arrive. I sweep and mop the floors; wipe down the counters and tables. I decide to let things wait, the finances and stocking. Felicia can do the stocks while I’m gone.
Speaking of Felicia, she’s here! She enters the place and sees me. I’m in my pajamas still, hair a mess, and frantically cleaning.
“Saoinn! Stop, you leave this stuff to me. You need to focus on your date!” She shakes her head and takes the mop out of my hands. “Now go jump in the shower!”
I nod and bound up the stairs into my apartment flat above the shop. I hear Felicia muttering about how I’m slowly going mad. I smile a little at that.
After my shower, I walk into my bedroom to find Felicia sitting on my bed. I thanked whatever higher power that I had a towel on covering the essential bits. “What are you doing in here Felicia?” I ask calmly while walking to my closet.
“Obviously to help you pick out a bomb outfit! Honestly you don’t have a sense a fashion at all.” She smiles and I notice her wings are out.
“Wait, did you walk here without transforming?”
“Uhhh,” She looks off to the side sheepishly, “maybe…”
“FELICIA! You know why you can’t do that!” I feel my face go a little hot with anger.
“Well, no one was out!”
“It. Doesn’t. Matter.” I sigh and shake my head, “I can’t deal with this right now, I need to get ready.”
I hear her giggle and I roll my eyes. For the next hour she and I went through at least a dozen outfits. We finally settled on navy blue jeans, a black graphic tee with green dragon on it, a navy blue flannel wrapped around my waist, and a black jean jacket. The next hour was my atrocious hair. I eventually got some of the curls to calm down and get into actual decent looking hair.
Then we went downstairs into the coffee shop and as soon as I smelled a wonderful coffee scent, my stomach rumbled. Loud enough for Felicia to hear.
“Saoinn. Did you eat breakfast?” She gives me a glare.
I wither a little bit, “No…”
“How much sleep did you get?” Still glaring.
“Four hours…” I wither a little bit more.
She grabs my hand and drags me over to the counter. I sit down, knowing she would yell at me if I didn’t. Felicia silently made some coffee, my favorite, and grabbed some food for me. She placed them in front of me and commanded, “Eat.”
I nodded my head and ate the food. After I was done I felt slightly better. My nerves aren’t too active and my heart feels light.
Felicia enchanted the coffee.
“Felicia, did you use a spell?” I ask sweetly.
A panicked expression goes on her face, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”
I give her a hug, “Thank you. I don’t think my nerves would of made it through the day.”
She hugs back tightly, “Anything for you bestie. Now get out there and knock him dead!”
I smile and look out the front window. Quasn stands there, back to the window. He wears a leather jacket and black jeans. My heart flutters.
“Felicia, while I’m gone the stocking needs to be done. Wish me luck! Thank you so much for everything!” I give her one last squeeze and walk out the door.
“Hey, Saoinn!” He sees me walk out and smile at me. Suddenly he hesitates, or falters. The next sentence startled me.
“You look fantastic.”
I blush heavily and stutter out, “You- You look incredible and, and wonderful yourself!” I see the rest of his outfit and he’s wearing a navy blue graphic tee with a orange dragon on it, he is wearing a studded bracelet, and he’s wearing a grey lanyard around his neck with, I assume, his house key on it.
He smiles and gives me a hug, this one lasted longer than the one before, but nevertheless ended too soon.
“Ready, Saoinn?” He smiles so wonderfully at me.
“Ready as I’ll ever be Quasn.”
He takes my hand and we’re off. Both excited for the day ahead. Wait, I didn’t even plan the day. Does he have a plan? Well I’ll never know unless I asked.
“Hey, Quasn, do you know what we are doing today?” I ask kinda shyly.
“No idea, I was thinking of following your lead, Saoinn.” He chirps happily.
Well, crap.
I’m gonna improvise.
“Alright then, I know where we are going!” I think.
I started to lead him to the Arcade, I used to go there a lot to find dates. Nowadays I’m too busy with the coffee shop, so I haven’t been there in a while. The town is small, thankfully, and we got there quickly.
“Welcome to the Hydro Arcade! I used to go here a lot.” I flamboyantly point to the arcade, trying to make him smile.
He smiles, his heart warming one, and giggles, “Why stop?”
I shrug, “Too busy. Come on let’s play!”
I drag him into the arcade. I watch his eyes go wide of wonder and he seemed to want to look everywhere. I smile wide and pull him to the front counter. I get out my power card and bought him one. I made sure to fill both up with enough credits. I smiled and handed one to him.
“What’s this?” He looked super confused. Like he legitimately didn’t know what it is. Well… if he is a mythic, maybe a really doesn’t know.
“It’s a card, that I paid for, so we can play games.” I pull him over to a simple game to show him how. “To play, you just swipe the card and the number of credits stored on the card goes down a little and you can play.”
He nods along as I shown him. He must of truly not known. Interesting.
“So it’s that’s easy?” I nod. “How much to I need to pay you back?”
“Don’t worry about that.” I stick out my tongue and start playing the game so my credits aren’t wasted.
After a little bit of playing so many different games, and replenishing the credits, we come across one last game we haven’t played yet. I’ve been avoiding it.
“Hey Saoinn! We’ve haven’t played that one yet!” He points to Dance Dance Revolution.
I smile, “You want to play?”
“Of course!” He drags me over and swipes the card. He jumps on the platform, and asks, “How does this one work?”
“Well, you select a song and follow the dance steps on the screen.”
“Can you show me how?”
I sigh, welp, why not? I don’t have to anything to worry about. The arcade is a little empty. I nod and swipe my card and jumped on the platform with him.
After a moment I settle on a song and start showing him how to play. I’m horrible at it but he seems to get it. I start focusing to get the right moves.
Then I missed a step. By going too far and crashing into Quasn. We tumble into a heap of sweaty limbs and off the platform.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry! Are you ok, Quasn?” I scramble to get up.
He lays there on the ground laughing. That wonderful and melodic laugh. I start laughing too. I feel free, more happy than I’ve ever been in a long time. Once our laughter died down to light giggles, I asked again, “You ok?”
“Yeah,” He breathes out a small laugh, “Thank you, Saoinn.”
“For what?” I tilt my head to the side.
“For an amazing time.” He gets up and hugs me.
“Hold on it’s not over yet!” I didn’t want him to leave too soon, “We, still have go to one more thing. It’s my favorite spot in this whole town!”
“Alright then, lead the way.” He stops hugging me and with a burst of confidence, I held his hand and led him out of the Arcade.
Out on the street I started walking back towards the way we came. On our walk we passed the Coffee shop and I see Felicia dancing to her music. I focus on the road ahead leading him down the road. To the beach. As we reach there, I veer off to an unknown path on the beach. The sun is slowly gets lower. I didn’t realize it’s so late. We soon reached my special spot. I haven’t been here in a while.
“Here we are! My favorite spot. Would you like to watch the sunset with me?” I faced Quasn.
He softly smiled and hugged me, whispered in my ear, “I would love to.”
A shiver went up my spine and I hugged him tightly back. This time the hug lasts way longer than I expected. It felt amazing.
It sadly ended when he broke the silence that came between us, “Saoinn I have to tell you something, especially if we continue this relationship.”
I nod and I sit on the sand gesturing for him to. “Go ahead, take as much time as you need.”
He sits down next to me and our hands overlap. He takes a deep breath and continues, staring at the water’s edge, “I think you are incredible and adorable, Saoinn. I like you, a lot. A bunch. I feel I have to tell you this important secret.”
He takes another deep breath, “I’m a mythic. I can turn into a dragon.”
I knew it. “Quasn,” I pause for dramatic effect, “I’m a mythic too. I’m a selkie.”
I seem him visibly relax and let out a relieved laugh, “Thank the gods.”
I laugh too. “So what are you doing way out here dragon boy?”
“The last town I was from found out I was a dragon and ran me out. I came here to escape all that.” He smiles warmly at me, “What are you doing on land, Selkie?”
“Trying to find the perfect mate. So far I think you are doing quite nicely.” I wink at him. I think it was sexy enough because I saw him blush ever so slightly.
“Well I hope I can please the wonderful Saoinn.” Now it’s my turn to blush but with the intensity of a thousand suns.
“I- Quasn, you… Um… You are just so fantastic, and and perfect. I, can’t, just can’t believe we-we found each other.” Really? I just did all that? I mentally smacked myself.
He tips my chin towards him and says, “Neither can I Saoinn. May I kiss you?”
I nod.
He then kisses me. It felt amazing. My heart fluttered in my chest, then beats rapidly. I feel a twisting and burning sensation in my stomach.
He closes his eyes and I close mine.
The sun sinks below the horizon.
Fifth Excerpt
Quasn and I cuddle on the couch at Quasn’s place. It has been a week since my first date with him, so far it’s amazing. He visits the coffee shop everyday, even helps a bunch when he visits, especially when it’s rush hour. This is my first time at his house. In my opinion it’s a really nice apartment, it has a small kitchen, a full bathroom, and semi-small living room. I haven’t seen his bedroom, not yet. We are watching a scary movie together, which I hate, though I’m suffering through it for him.
When we get to an especially gory part I look away, burying my head in Quasn’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry Saoi, the gory part will be over soon.”
“Oki. Tell me when it is.” I say a little muffled in his shoulder.
He nods and continues to watch the movie. When the gory part was over, we continued watching the movie together, soon it was over and we sat there snuggling for a little while longer. Both of us didn’t want the night to end.
I finally broke the silence. “Quasn, I should probably get home before it’s too late.”
He nods, “That should be for the best, though may I have one last kiss before you go?”
“Of course.” We kissed, a soft and gentle one, that lasted a little longer than it should.
We then untangled ourselves from our little cuddling pile on the couch and I went over to the door to get my shoes on.
“Do you want me to walk you home? It’s seems to be too dark outside for you to go alone.” Quasn asked, worry faintly there in his voice.
I smile and shake my head, “I think I’ll be alright. I’ve got a little self-defense in me, if need be.”
That seems to soothe him a little bit. He nods and gives me a tight hug. “Text me when you get home.”
I nod and hug back. “One quick kiss please?”
He presses a small peck on my lips and we released from the hug. I smile softly, and whispered, “I had a wonderful evening, thank you.”
“It’s only the best I can do.” He squeezes my shoulder and I open the door.
“See you soon.” I walk outside his apartment.
“See you soon.” Quasn closes the door.
I then start walking towards the street, towards my home. Quasn lives a 20 min walk away from my place, so it’s gonna take a little bit to get home. I notice that it looks a lot later than I thought, so I look at the time on my phone, it’s 11 o’clock. I walk a little faster because normally by now drunks are out.
About 10 mins after I left Quasn’s house, I see a drunk man walking across the street. Towards me.
I start to freak out a little but I’m trying to stay calm. I walk even faster.
He reaches me and calls out, “Hey Bitch, why don’t I take you home and fuck you!”
I ignore him, trying to walk a little faster. My head looking down at the ground.
That proved to be a mistake.
He comes up right behind me and pulls me into an ally. I struggle against his grip, he’s really strong.
“Don’t ignore me freak.” His voice a dangerous low whisper.
“Let me go!” I struggle more.
He pushes me against the wall, forcing me to spread my legs.
“Maybe I should do you here.” His voice slurs ever so slightly.
Now I start crying. “Let me go! Please!”
He does things to me and I felt so defiled. I screamed and screamed. No one seemed to hear me.
Once he was done, he left me on the ground. Then kicked me, hard. In the stomach.“That’s what you get bitch.”
I sobbed more.
He leaves and I just lay on the ground, clothes tattered, wondering how this could happen.
After what felt like hours, I pick myself up and start my trek home. I feel disgusting, a piece of trash. Everything hurts.
I avoid the mirror when I arrived home. I don’t want to see what I looked like. Tears ever so slowly make their way down my face. I peel off the clothes and throw them away, I don’t ever want to see them again. I jump in the shower to feel a little bit better but everything hurts, so bad. More sobs come out.
Once I was done I got dressed for bed. I doubt I’ll get any sleep.
I finally look at my phone, skipping over the time as I text Quasn, ‘I’m home.’
Then I collapse in bed, sobbing more.
Sixth Excerpt
I wake up to my alarm the day after and just stare at the ceiling. I still felt utterly terrible. Somehow I fell asleep last night, though I have no idea when or how.
I drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day. I feel so empty, like my heart has turned into a black hole and sucked up all my emotions and thoughts, leaving me as a numb empty shell. Though I'm emotionally numb, my skin feels too tight around me and I feel like I'm about to vomit.
I finish getting ready and my skin is red from three great of the shower and me scrubbing at it until I thought I'd bleed. I walk downstairs in just a baggy sweater and baggy jeans. I didn’t even attempt my hair today. I just threw on a beanie to cover it up instead. I start the daily chores before opening and making sure everything was in shape.
Once done with that, I flip over the ‘closed’ sign to say ‘open’. Today is Felicia’s day off, so it’s just me, myself, and my dangerous thoughts.
I just went through the motions of the day, trying to steer my thoughts away from last night. I feel like I'm there, but not really there. It's as if my mind is in a different universe observing through my body.
Business is slow throughout the day. I don’t mind, for once.
Around 4 o’clock, right before the evening rush, Quasn walks in, a smile bright on his face. I try to give one in reply, try not to let him know that something horrible happened.
He must notice the pain in my face, because his smile falls and it’s replaced by worry. “Saoinn, are you ok?”
Then I broke down crying.
He rushes over to me and holds me up, hugging me right in his arms. Quasn rubs soft circles on my back as I try to sob quietly into his shoulder.
There had been a few people in the shop when he arrived, but they seemed to sense that they needed to leave because I heard them get up and leave out the door.
Once I calmed down a little, I croakily said, “I’m sorry. S-so so sorry.”
“What for, angel?” He keeps holding me.
Flashes of last night go through my head and I shake my head. Sobbing once more with more intensity as I shake, unable to breathe in anything but hiccupped inhales.
We just stood there, with him holding me and me sobbing into his shoulder.
After a little bit, once I calm down enough to simply breathe, he asks, “Do you want to call Felicia?”
I shake my head and he continues, “Ok, let’s get you upstairs, I’ll close the shop for you ok?”
I nod my head and he gives me one last squeeze. I slowly walk upstairs, sniffling and trying not to burst into tears again. I sit down on my couch and curl up into myself.
After 10 mins or so Quasn comes up, and he sits down next to me. I was curled up, my face buried into my legs.
“Do you need me to do anything?” He places his hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head, “I just need some time alone. Please don’t tell Felicia. I’m not ready yet.”
His gives a light smile, “Ok, I promise I won’t. I’ll leave you be, but I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you ok?”
“Ok…” I look up and give a half-hearted smile.
He gives me a light peck on my forehead and drapes a blanket over me. Then he leaves silently, leaving me to my thoughts.
At one point I fall asleep. I had felt so drained, it was welcoming. If Quasn came to check on me, I had no idea. By the time I woke up, it was dark outside.
I blearily sit up, wondering what woke me up. Then I have a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen.
I hear a crash down stairs. Now I’m wide awake and i can feel my heart climbing into my throat. I hear quiet shuffling, like someone is coming up the stairs.
I quickly get up and put myself into a self-defense stance as I prepare to fight.
The person reached the top of the stairs and I gulp; it’s not Quasn nor Felicia.
I feel my fear spike high. “What are you doing here?” I shout at them.
The person looks at me, they pull out a knife. I feel my fear spike even higher and curl tight in my stomach.
“Get out or I’ll call the cops!” I try to keep the fear out of my voice, but it wavers ever so slightly.
They move towards me and I try to dodge out of the way, but they manage to slash my arm. It feels deep and throbs as blood starts dripping down my arm.
The next few moments go past in a blur and I find myself on my back. They stab the knife in my stomach, leaving it there. I groan, fumbling to grab it before I remember that you're not supposed to pull them out. I'm cold and everything hurts. Am I going into shock?
I don’t move, making the person believe I am dead. I can hear them shuffling around, looking through my stuff. Soon I can't hear anything beyond the ringing in my ears and my vision starts to waver. Before I knew it, everything was black.
Seventh Excerpt:
I wake up, though it feels like more of a daze. My entire body hurts and I can hear beeping. I look around and it dawns on me. I’m in the hospital. Quasn and Felicia are sitting on a bench that’s in, what seems, my hospital room.
“H-hey.” I croak, my voice hoarse and my throat dry.
Both of them jump up and Quasn is the first to speak. “Saoinn, thank the gods above you are awake. How are you feeling?”
“Like I was skinned then ran over by a truck.” I give a light chuckle then I wince. Laughing hurts my stomach.
“Hey, bestie, do you need anything?” Felicia asks gingerly.
“What the hell happened.” I look them both dead in the eye.
Quasn looks down, almost like he feels ashamed. “Well I came back to check on you, a second time after you fell asleep. I saw the coffee shop was ransacked and I ran up to see you on the floor. Bleeding. I-“ he falters.
“It’s alright. You had no idea what was going to happen.” I close my eyes. Flashes from last night and the night before go through my head.
“Saoinn, you were out for a week. We-we weren’t sure you’ll wake up.” Felicia gets up and places her hand over mine.
“What? It was just...” I look down. This has been the worst, couple days? No, week.
Quasn walks over to the other side of my bed and places his hand over my other hand. “I can’t bear to lose you, Saoinn.”
I sob. Just like a baby. It hurts so bad but I can't stop. I just can’t hold back the tears any longer. Felicia and Quasn hug me tight while I cry.
Once done crying, I faintly get out, “I’m sorry. So, so, sorry.”
“What do you need to be sorry for? Saoinn, we love you no matter what. There is nothing to be sorry for.” Quasn gives me a small kiss on my forehead, and continues, “We can only imagine what you are going through.”
“Don’t worry Saoi.” Felicia smiles softly.
“Thanks guys.” They give me one last hug and then Felicia returns to the bench. Quasn remains next to my bed, worry etched into his face.
I am about to say something but then the doctor walks in.
“Hello Saoinn, I am Dr. Chen. I am aware you are a selkie. I take care of all mythical creatures that come into this hospital. I myself am not a Mythic.” They shake my hand and continues, “Now Saoinn, what is your gender?”
“Neither.” I stare off, not wanting to hear the usual montra that I had to pick one.
They surprise me by saying, “Ah, ok. I’m guessing your pronouns are they/them. Mine are he/him.”
I nod, “Yeah.”
“Now, you had a stab wound in the abdomen. It ruptured your some of your major intestines. There was a lot of internal bleeding. Good thinking not to pull out the knife.” I nod waiting for him to continue. “You were out for a week because of some pretty hard blow to the head. You seem to be doing ok now. We ran a bunch of tests and your lucky. It could of been much worse. Now I ask you two”- he indicates Quasn and Felicia-“to leave. I need to speak privately with the patient.”
Quasn gives my hand a squeeze and leaves the room with Felicia.
After the door closes, Dr. Chen looks to me, “Now this may not be an easy answer, it’s a hard question to ask. While we were doing tests we noticed some bruising in some areas that aren’t caused by a simple scuffle. Were you raped?”
I hold my breath, thinking for a second. I don’t want people to know. It-it hurts to think about it. I nod, “Y-yes. The night before.”
The doctor nods, satisfied. “I suggest telling someone. Other than me.”
Dr. Chen leaves, and Quasn and Felicia re-enter the room. I smile softly and we sit and chat for a while. It turns out both of them have been taking care of the shop for me. As we are talking it dawns on me, they care so much about me. That thought brought tears to my eyes.
“What’s wrong, Saoinn?” Felicia asks, of course she noticed the tears threatening to spill out.
“You, you guys- care so so much about me. I-I never had that before,” Tears roll down my cheeks, “I love you guys. So damn much.”
“I love you too.” They both say in unison, leaning in and hugging me.
I sob, again. I’m not ready to tell them yet, but for some reason I believe they’ll help me through anything.
Eighth Excerpt:
Over the past few days, it’s been utter hell. I haven’t healed up yet and I am just itching to get out of the hospital. I hate the stark white rooms. I hate the food. I dislike a few of the nurses; they obviously don’t know I’m a mythic and they keep saying stuff when they think I’m not listening. They keep saying things like, “She must be a girl, I mean she has a boyfriend!” or “He has to be a guy, I mean he looks so masculine!” It just makes me sick to my stomach hearing that.
Quasn helps a lot though with these issues. He never leaves my side, until the nurses and doctors kick him out. When he comes back each day, the first thing he does is kiss my forehead, then my lips. He tells me all about the coffee shop, Felicia’s little stunts she likes to pull, how the customers have been asking about me, and how much he loves me.
Today Quasn walks in with a big smile on his face and a bag in his hand. “Hello, Love!” He says cheerily while placing the bag next to my bed, then he gives me a kiss on the forehead.
I smile, “Hello Dragon.”
He gives me a light peck on the lips and pulls the bench next to my bed. He grabs the bag and pulls a book out of it. He smiles wide and says, “I was thinking, perhaps instead of me talking about mundane stuff all the time, I read you a book instead?”
“Which book did you grab?” I ask smiling as well.
“The one about the Dragon and the Selkie.” He gives me a knowing look and I give him a crooked grin; of course my dork of a boyfriend would choose that one.
“Well start reading! I want to hear the story! I haven’t read it in awhile.” I give him a goofy smile, my eyes scrunching.
“Alright, alright! I’ll start reading! Jeez, you selkie are so demanding sometimes.” He smiles and I stick out my tongue.
He opens the book to the first page and clears his throat, “‘Living on this boat isn’t easy…’”
I close my eyes and listen to him speak, his voice melodic and soft; he reads wonderfully.
Over time, I hear his voice starting to get hoarse so I stop him, “Quasn, honey, why don’t you take a break? I don’t want you to lose your voice.”
“You seem to be enjoying the story, I don’t mind.” Quasn says in response.
“Yeah, and I don’t want your wonderful voice to be ruined, we’ll pick up the story tomorrow.” I reach out my right arm to place on his shoulder, but a sharp pain went through it. I grimace and made a noise.
“Are you ok? What’s wrong Saoi?” He asks as soon as I did that.
“I’m, I’m fine.” I force a smile and place my arm back down, it was the one that got cut in the scuffle. It really hurts, I haven’t noticed until now.
“You sure? Do you need me to get a nurse?” Worry still etched in Quasn’s face. I shake my head. He stares at me skeptical but backs down.
We sat in silence, letting stretch out. My arm throbs, and I have no idea why. Maybe because they haven’t changed the bandaging in a few days. I don’t see any blood seeping through, but I can’t really be sure. I hope it isn’t infected. A nurse saunters in, interrupting my thoughts. It’s one of the ones I dislike.
“Ok, Miss. I need to check a few things.” She emphasized Miss and I was about to slap her.
“Ok, Sir.” I snap back.
The nurse stops midstep, “I’m not a Sir.”
“Well neither am I a Miss, but I thought everyone here misgenders everyone else and shows no respect for preferred pronouns, so I thought it was fine.” The Nurse gaped, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, obviously trying to find something to say.
“Sorry, what may I call you then?” She sounds annoyed, probably because I am calling her out on her bullshit.
“Mx or just my name please.” I say curtly. The nurse nods and gets to work, making sure everything looked alright. Quasn gives me a reassuring nod, I have a gut feeling he knows what it is like to be misgendered. The Nurse starts changing the bandages on my arm and I hear her gasp.
I look over at my arm and see it is turning a sickly yellow and clear puss is slowly oozing out of the wound, I almost threw up. With a wavering voice I ask, “What’s wrong with- with my arm?”
“Mis- Mx, your arm is infected, we need to treat this right away.” The Nurse says quietly.
Quasn looks at my arm horrified. I guess he’s never seen something like this before. He goes to the other side of my hospital bed and places a hand on my shoulder, it felt very reassuring. The Nurse puts new bandages on, obviously not sure on what else to do, and tells both of us, “I’ll speak with Dr. Chen. He’ll know what to do.”
The nurse walks out of the room at a brisk pace. I hope she can reach the doctor soon. Quasn looks at me and gives me a soft smile, I can see the worry embedded in his eyes. To try and reassure him I say with the best smile I can muster, “Don’t worry, it’s probably not that big of a deal. It’s not like my arm will be cut off due to a simple infection.”
He relaxes a little but is still very very worried, “Yeah, hopefully.” He squeezes my shoulder and I place my hand, that’s on my good arm, over top his hand on my shoulder.
In a few minutes, Dr. Chen arrives. He bustles in and says as getting gloves, “Let’s take a look at the arm. I’ll take some samples and get them tested. Mx. Saoinn, what is your pain level?”
“About a 5.” I say truthfully, there is no use lying to him.
He frowns but continues. Dr. Chen peels away the new bandages to get a look at the arm, it doesn’t look any better. I watch him work, trying to find any indication something might be seriously wrong. He presses his lips in a firm line and quietly replaces the bandaging.
“What is wrong Doctor?” Quasn asks, stealing the words that I was going to say. Dr. Chen glances to us both and busies himself with packing things up.
“You caught a severe infection, out of what I can tell from looking at Saoinn’s arm. I’ll prescribe some antidotes, the tests done on the samples I took will give a good indication on which ones I should prescribe. If the wound doesn’t get any better-” He pauses and looks me straight in the eye, “-we may have to amputate the arm.”
I glance down solem. If that happens I won’t have any use of my arm. I’ll be limited then, I can’t do things as well as I did before. I-
“Hopefully that won’t happen.” Quasn interjects, interrupting the downward spiral in my thoughts, “I believe Saoinn here is strong enough to pull through.”
The doctor nods, “Selkies have different immune systems than humans, stronger in fact. They also have different physiology then humans. It could be where humans couldn’t survive this but selkies can. We just have to wait and see, but I'm optimistic. The pus is clear, only lymph fluid. Just be aware of the possibility of amputation.”
Both Quasn and I nod in agreement to that.
Ninth Excerpt
The infection didn’t get better. It only got worse. I hoped, and hoped, and hoped, it just didn’t get better. Now, we have to look at amputation. Dr. Chen, he is so kind. I can tell he doesn’t want to do this either.
“Now during the procedure you will be under anesthesia, and you will also have painkillers in your system so you won’t feel any pain. After it is over, we are often told by people who get arms or legs amputated that they have a phantom feeling of the appendage still being there. Overtime, you’ll get used to not having a right arm. You'll find ways to adjust and continue living a normal life,” Dr. Chen explains. Quasn and Felicia are listening intently, as well as I. I need to distract myself from the dark thoughts circling and threatening to pull me under and crush me.
“What can we do to help?” Felicia asks.
Dr. Chen smiles, but it seems so fake, “Help them out, offer any assistance if they ask for it. Don’t mother them and especially don’t make fun of them for it, but I know for sure you guys won’t do that. One last thing Saoinn, are you left hand dominant or right?”
“I’m ambidextrous.” I say, proud of myself for teaching myself that at least.
“So this will be less of a struggle for you than most amputees. Just take your time and take it slow, ok?” Dr. Chen smiles warmly, but the smile still isn’t reaching his eyes.
“Ok.”
“We will have the procedure tomorrow. Until then rest well. Quasn, Felicia, you both have permission to stay overnight if you would like. When I come back here we’ll move you to the operating room.” Then Dr. Chen leaves.
I close my eyes tight, willing myself not to the cry. With a shaky voice ask them both, “Will you guys stay? The whole time?”
“Absolutely.”
“Of course.”
Quasn and Felicia say at the same time. They look at each other in surprise. I laugh, they act so much alike and they don’t ever realize it. I smile wide at both of them, “I love you guys.”
“I love you too, Saoi.” Felicia leans in to hug me.
“You know I do as well.” Quasn also leans to hug me.
They both wrap their arms around me and I close my eyes, content. I would love to just stay in their arms forever, letting the pains from the wound and pains from before just fade away. I just wish things are much more different then they are, I wish so many things. Tears start to slowly slip out. I don’t want to cry but I can’t stop the tears. Soon enough I’m sobbing. Quasn and Felicia stay silent, knowing I’ll tell them what’s wrong.
After a seemingly endless minute, I slow down. Sobs ceasing. I collect myself. My breathing is raspy and shuddered. They are still holding me and I cling to them. I whisper out, “I’m so sorry. Everything has just gone bad so suddenly.”
Felicia rubs my back, “It’s alright Saoinn. All this couldn’t have been avoided. Getting attacked by the robber, the infection getting worse, it’s all things to help counter balance the future.”
“Was getting raped fair then?” I snap. Then realizing what I said I covered my mouth, sinking back into the bed; I really had not meant to reveal that.
Quasn and Felicia pull back and I struggle to hold back tears. Felicia’s face is full of horror and Quasn... I can’t read his expression. I look down to avoid their eyes and wait for their reactions. I don’t know what to expect.
Quasn is the first to speak, “I’m so sorry Saoinn. I didn’t,” he takes a shuddering deep breath, “I didn't know…” he trails off looking to his side, seeming conflicted on what to say next. After a long moment he picks up again and whispers, “When did it happen?”
I look down squeezing my eyes tight and I twist the blankets in my hands. I don’t want to tell them, although I know I should though, “The night before the robber attacked me, when I was walking home from your apartment.”
Quasn nods, his expression still unreadable, Felicia’s horrific expression has gone away but it’s replaced with anger.
Felicia hugs me again, “Who did this this to you? We need to prosecute them. I don’t want my best friend or anyone else going through that ever again.”
“It was a drunk guy, I don’t know who he was nor where he was going. All I know is that he was drunk.” I say quickly, but I agree with her, I need to prosecute him.
“Saoinn, I’m sorry.” Quasn finally speaks again.
“For what? It wasn’t your fault.”
“I didn’t go with you, I could of protected you, I could of-” His voice cracks and tears slowly slip out.
“Quasn. It is not your fault.” I place my hand on his shoulder, “It was my decision to go home alone and there is nothing to be done. I assure you it’s not your fault.”
He nods as tears flow softly and he wraps his arms around my waist and places his head in the crook of my neck. I feel him shake as he sobs and I rub his back gently, placing a kiss on top of his head.
I notice Felicia sitting back trying not fangirl a little bit. I give her a glare and continue holding Quasn, comforting him the best I can. An idea pops in my head.
“Hey, Quasn, did you bring the book with you? It's called Horizon, right?” I softly say.
He nods and lifts head out of the crook of my neck, “Of course.”
“I would love to hear you read it.”
He smiles wide, grateful for the distraction most likely, and goes and grabs the book. He sits down on the bench and Felicia joins him there.
Quasn picks up from where we left off last time.
I don’t know when I feel asleep, but someone woke me up. I look to my left and it’s Quasn, softly shaking me awake.
“Good morning, Love.” He says softly.
“Morning.” I drag out the word, still sleepy.
“Dr. Chen is going to be here soon to take you to the operating room.” Quasn then he goes over and wakes Felicia up. To my slight amusement, it's hard to be fully amused when you know you're about to have an amputation, she didn’t take too it kindly.
After we all finally wake up, Dr. Chen walks in, towing behind him a nurse. It’s the one that I don’t like all that much. “Are you ready, Mx. Saoinn?” He asks.
I nod my head and the nurse pulls in a wheelchair, “What’s this for? I can walk on my own.” I ask.
“Due to protocol we have to transfer patients this way if they have been hospitalized for a little bit. Sorry, but you have to go in the chair.” Dr. Chen says, “I understand that you may not like it, but we don’t have a minute to lose.”
I sigh but comply and get in the wheelchair. Dr. Chen starts leading us and the nurse follows, pushes me out the room while Quasn and Felicia trail behind.
I look down at my hands folded in my lap, then the realization fully hits me. This is the very last time I’m able to have both arms. The last time I’m able to look normal. The last time I’m able to do anything on my own for a long time.
I sigh softly as I really don’t know what to do. For the last time, I lift my right arm and run it through my hair. It’s a small thing really. It hurt like hell, but I want to do something with it one last time besides feel just pain.
We reach the operating room and Felicia and Quasn have to wait outside in the chairs set there. Dr. Chen introduces me to a different doctor. I don’t catch his name. My mind is million miles away. I manage to give a faint nod to the questions I'm asked. I feel detached from my emotions, like I’m observing another body. One that isn’t mine, one that hurts so much. I get placed on the operating table and the rest becomes a blur. I fall into a sleep. I feel nothing.
Tenth Excerpt:
I wake up back in my hospital room. It's night and I can see the Stars outside the window. I blearily look around and no one is here. It’s just me, myself, and I. I morosely look at my right arm. It’s gone, from the shoulder down. I wiggle my stump, that’s what I’m going to call it, and it’s bandaged. This is going to be hell. I don't realize that I'm crying until the first tear hits the blanket. I softly let the tears out trying not to make a sound as I sob. My hand covers my mouth as an extra effort not to scream. Everything hurts, inside and out. Why has all of this happened to me? What could I have done to ever deserve this?
After what seems like hours, I hear footsteps in the hallway and lights coming on. I quickly dry my tears, forcing myself to calm down and smile, burying all of the pain that I feel; I don’t want anyone to pity me. A nurse walks in and doesn’t look at me, just turns on the lights, looks at the monitors and my bandages then leaves. I don’t notice that I tense up until the door closes and I relax, letting out a sigh of relief. I wish Quasn or Felicia were here.
Then, as if the gods heard my wish, Quasn walks in smiling his soft, warm smile. I give a pained one back. It’s nice to see him, despite everything. He walks over to my bed and gives me a kiss on the forehead then my lips like he always does. “Hello Love,” He says softly.
“Hey darling,” I croak out, my throat very dry from crying, “Here so early?”
“Yeah, I slept in the waiting room. I wanted to be there when you woke up but the nurses wouldn’t let me. How are you feeling?” He sits down on the bench, reaching over to grab my only hand.
“Would you like the honest answer or the one I will give everyone?” I say slightly sarcastically.
“I want the honest truth.” He says very seriously.
“Everything hurts,” I sigh, “I just want all this be over. I-“ my voice cracks and my eyes water, “I... it feels like I can’t do it anymore. It’s like hell on earth, but only for me. I’m scared, Quasn…” although I don't tell him that my greatest fear is that he will leave me.
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he lays a hand on my cheek and strokes my cheekbone with his thumb, “Saoinn you have every right to be upset. I love you no matter what, I loved you before I knew you were a selkie. I loved you before all this happened,”He leans over and gives me a soft peck on my lips, “And I’ll keep loving you through anything.”
Tears do slip out, surprising me; I had thought I cried everything out, but apparently not. I dry them quickly and choke out, as my throat is still dry, “Thank you.”
He hugs me and I give him a hug back the best I can. It felt weird, only being able to use one arm. Suddenly, all of the little things I won't be able to do anymore hit me. I can’t do by myself anymore; I can’t sweep; I can’t wash dishes; I can’t read without using something to hold my book. Eating is going to be very hard; I can’t cut up my food. All of the failed possibilities start to feel like they're overwhelming me.
Before I could think of anything else, Dr. Chen walked in, talking to another nurse, “Please go get the documents, and make sure to let some of my other patients know I’ll be coming soon.” When nurse nods and leaves, he looks to me. Quasn has already sat back down on the bench and I say, “What is it Dr. Chen?”
“Mx. Saoinn, as you can tell, the amputation was a success and next week you will be discharged from the hospital. I have some documents you need to have detailing information of the struggles of being amputated and how to overcome it. Are you in any pain?” Dr. Chen says.
“Yes, a bit.”
“We’ll prescribe pain medication and antibiotics for you to take. They'll be available for you to get from the pharmacy as soon as possible. I hope you feel better soon and best of luck.” Dr. Chen then suddenly leaves before I can get a single word out. A few seconds later, the same nurse comes in and handed me documents. One of them is the discharge referral and I fill it out. The nurse then leaves.
The week flies by, nothing felt real. I go into this state of depression, feeling as if nothing’s going to get better. The day came to get discharged and Quasn is with me the whole time.
I walk out of the hospital with Quasn next to me. I feel slightly bewildered but mostly depressed. I’m glad I can write with my left hand. Quasn is holding the documents in his backpack that I assume he had the whole time and I didn’t notice. He holds my hand and guides me home. Neither of us have a car. We idly chat, about the shop, Felicia, and his cats. Anything but my arm.
As we walk I see people staring, children mostly but quite a few adults. I felt so awkward. I know they are looking at my stump, bandages and all. I try to ignore them. I fail. Mostly.
Soon enough we arrive at the shop. It’s dark because the shop is closed on Saturdays. We walk in and Quasn leads me upstairs, into my house. It’s clean, and there seems to be no evidence of the burglary. I really didn’t have much to begin with; I had to start from nothing when I left the sea, the only thing I brought with me was some clothes I had found from shipwrecks. I close my eyes, flashes of those memories going through my mind.
Then a sudden question pops in my head, what will happen if I turn back into a seal? Will I get my arm back?
Quasn has me sit on the couch, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Do you need anything?” He asks me.
“Love and affection.” I reply sarcastically. He rolls his eyes and sits down next to me and puts his arm around me, “You wanna watch a movie?”
“Anything but a scary movie.”
Quasn nods and pulls out the remote, and turns on the TV. We surf the channels a little bit and finally settled on watching The Princess Bride. As we were watching it, I managed a few small smiles and a couple chuckles. Quasn, meanwhile, laughed and smiled a bit more than I did. I think it was an attempt to lighten the mood.
After the movie was over, Quasn suggested staying the night and I agreed. I don’t feel comfortable being alone quite yet. We got ready for bed and Quasn borrowed clothes to sleep in because he didn’t bring anything to wear. They were a little big on him and it made him look like an older child. I giggled a bit at that. We both decided to lay down on my bed. Quasn insisted sleeping on the couch but I pulled the ‘I don’t want to sleep alone’ card on him. With a wet shake off his head, he agreed.
After a while of staying awake, I faintly hear Quasn snoring. I can’t sleep. It feels so weird sleeping in my bed. I’m expecting anyone to break in any moment. I get up and walk around the house, making sure all the doors are locked, the windows closed, and the security alarm is on. Then I grabbed my baseball bat and place it next to my bed. After all that is done, I crawl back into the bed and wrap my arms around Quasn. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I slowly drift into sleep.
I’m surrounded by the burglar and that man. Both of their faces are distorted, advancing towards me. I back away and then I feel myself hit a wall. “Go Away!” I scream. They both seen unfazed by this as they still are getting closer. I feel tears come out as I panic and scream, “NO!” I wake up to Quasn shaking me gently. It seems like he was holding me down.
“Saoinn? You ok?” He asks frantically.
Hot tears go down my face. I shake my head. Quasn then unrestrained me and pulled me into a tight hug. I’m sobbing now. Clinging onto him. Quasn mummers softly in my ear, “It’s alright. They are not here. You’re safe.”
His words ring in my head as I sob.
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