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yevmarie · 1 month

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My Angel. My Devil.

Pairing: Scud x Female Reader

Word count: 1k

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, terribly written smut, unprotected piv, swearing, drug use (by reader as well), bad English (not my first language).

A/N: well, it's my first time in writing smut in English (as if it could be better if I wrote in my first languages, lol). So, if this post is deleted after some time, just know that I felt cringey. YOLO.

You lost count of which round it was as your consciousness had left your brain as soon as you took the first hit. You were rolling your hips on top of a whimpering overstimulated mess called Scud lying half-upright on the couch of your tiny apartment in the warehouse where you worked for Blade. Scud's arms are weakly holding your hips, the head is fallen back on the throw pillows, and some of the hair strands are stuck to his sweaty pretty fucked out face. His eyes are half closed, mouth babbling something inaudible, that used to be pleadings an hour ago.

This evening could've been the same as others if Scud hadn't offered you pot again while you both were working on the tech stuff Blade needed so much for his next mission.

“How the hell can you work stoned?” you asked irritated as this kind of ‘ritual’ when the guy offered you smoking was always repeating day after day. And your answer was always 'no'.

“C’mon baby, you’re always so tense and serious. Why don’t you let yourself relax?” Scud answered in a muffled drawl keeping a blunt between his lips while he was soldering a circuit.

And the reason for it was having a really bad crush on him. A workplace romance wasn’t what you planned as Blade paid you much. So a one-time stand with the colleague you fell for was strictly forbidden by yourself. But your pretty obvious ignoring attitude wasn’t helping, let’s say it was even encouraging for Scud. And today was the day you completely gave up. That was true you needed to unwind.

“I want to relax but after I finish programming these microcontrollers,” you sighed concentrating on the code you wrote.

“You’re always saying so,” you heard his desperate and upset voice which you couldn’t handle anymore.

“8:00 PM at my apartment, snacks on you,” you replied after several minutes of silence between you both.

“Hell yeah!” he answered happily, “Baby Scud knows how to relax. You won’t regret it, sweety.”

You were ignoring him though you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach. The rest of the workday you were just only thinking how to quickly spend time with him and send him out of your room until the worst happens.

At 8:00 PM sharp you heard knocks at your door. Opening it you saw smirking Scud holding shopping bags full of food.

“Have you robbed the supermarket? This is the week ration for a family of three,” you said gesturing the man to come in.

“That’s literally us with B,” he winked and went further into the apartment where a big couch and a massive coffee table were standing in front of the wall where some music videos were projected. The room was also lit by a dull light bulb from the kitchenette.

“Don’t be so grumpy, Y/N. Lemme help you switch off,” he put the bags on the coffee table and put out a cigarette case and a lighter from his jeans pockets. “And I don’t know what you like, so…”

You went past Scud and sat down on the couch inviting him to join you.

“Video games, cartoons, films? Any preferences?” you asked looking at the guy picking out a blunt from the case and passing it to you.

“This is your evening, you choose,” he grinned watching you picking the blunt in your fingers and placing it between your lips. Seconds after he lit the blunt and you made a light drag not to cough immediately. You held your breath to let the weed do its work and passed the blunt back to Scud.

“Then let’s watch a film,” you said exhaling and took a remote control to choose one.

You slightly leaned back to the table to light another blunt. Taking a hit you held your breath and leaned forward turning to Scud. You hooked his choker with your finger and pulled his face to yours while you started riding him again. He opened his eyes just a bit, his mouth agape. You leaned closer so your lips barely touched his and slowly puffed the smoke into his mouth. He was inhaling while you felt his cock twitching inside you. You let his choker and laid your arms on his shoulder for steadiness and continued sliding up and down his length. A small whimper left Scud’s mouth.

“Fuck, I love you.”

“You’re high,” you let out an obscene moan feeling you are about to reach your climax.

“Jeez…” Scud suddenly grabbed you tightly to lay you on your back and started thrusting into you.

“Sc…” your mouth was immediately covered with his lips and tongue kissing and licking you sloppily. His thrusts became faster hitting your sweet spot each time. Scud feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably put his thumb on your clit to draw circles applying just perfectly enough pressure.

You started clawing into his back overwhelmed with sensation when suddenly your body exploded with unbearable excitement. Everything became dull, blurred. It’s dinging in your ears, the heart is pumping so fast you thought it would break your ribcage, your whole body is trembling. You were suffocating, drowning in the waves of pleasure.

Almost passing out after your release you felt a sudden emptiness followed by Scud’s moans. Through your half-opened eyes, you saw a lewd scene: panting Scud rolled his head back, his chest heaving, his left hand squizzing the throw pillow, his right arm was tensed as he was stroking himself letting out strings of his warm cum on your lower belly. The scene that you imagined so many times during lonely evenings pleasing yourself. After he finished he plopped himself on the couch and pulled your weak body on top of himself.

“You’ll get dirty,” you said in a tired voice only earning a chuckle from him.

“Let it be the worst thing between us, babe,” he kissed your swollen lips passionately caressing your hair and your back.

#scud fromeyer #joshua fromeyer #josh fromeyer #scud smut #scud x reader #scud blade 2 #blade 2 #norman reedus #Spotify

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greenconverses · 3 months

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What's your overall verdict on the show?

Oh, I'm glad you asked because I was def planning on doing a post about it!

Overall, I'm giving the first season a solid B. It was a fairly solid interpretation all around and it nailed the feeling of the books from the very beginning. I had a lot of fun watching it and I'm excited to see where they go from here if they get another season or two (and so help me if the mouse doesn't renew!!!!!) now that the world and characters has been established. It was a big task to properly adapt this, and they did it!

Casting was absolutely stellar and is the main reason why the show succeeds the way it does. The main trio are so very good, especially Walker, who had to be the heart and soul of the show, and he nailed it every episode. I'm excited to see how they all grow as actors in future seasons or with new projects! Also, the supporting cast was fabulous. There were weak spots here and there (LMM) but overall, excellent work by the casting director.

I loved the set design and how they brought the world to life. I'd like to see some more fun with costuming next season (why the same outfits for the whole parts of the quest? give us variety!) and I hope we get to see what they'll do with some of the sets next season.

Areas that need improvement are the script and directing. None of the action scenes really wow'd me and the blocking in some episodes was weird. I complained by story pacing since episode one and that issue never really resolved itself. If they'd gone for a 10 episode season, or extended the shorter episodes by like 5-10 minutes, I think some of these issues would've gotten resolved. There wasn't a lot of time to breathe and sit when big things happened; going from the throne room straight into Luke's betrayal scenes is a recent example where I think the episode could've padded it out some. A lot of the story felt rushed when it didn't need to be.

Unfortunately, by spending so much time with the Sally/Poseidon and Percy backstory, some of the character development and world building for everyone else got sacrificed. BUT I adored those additions, so I'm not mad about it, just disappointed that the rest of the characters didn't get that. (Again, I liked the framing they did with Luke and Percy in the last episode, and showing those scenes gave a little bit more weight to his betrayal... but it could have been more.)

I've already bitched about my other issues with the script (exposition is a scene killer!) and I'm like vaguely annoyed that some of the main beats/themes of the first book were ignored, but they usually replaced it with something better or at least in-line with what had been established in series. Again, I'm not a super stickler to "It has to be 100% accurate!" thinking when it comes to book adaptations, so I didn't mind some of the changes as much as other parts of fandom might've.

So yeah, I'm satisfied. I'm going to miss having something to look forward to on Tuesday nights!

#anon #ask box #pjo tv #pjo tv show #jess watches pjo

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keyboardandquill · 5 months

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I keep getting writer's block in every. single. scene.

so, a while back I wrote a post about writing badly on purpose as a motivation for myself and others to push through when we feel our writing isn't good enough.

while I still stand by what I wrote in that post, I've still been struggling with achieving and keeping forward momentum. I keep getting bored with what I'm writing, and this happens on every single scene.

eventually I figure out where the block is, fix it, and move on. but it inevitably happens again.

recently, I read a post I read about undercutting tension by @septembercfawkes.

in the post, September talks about writing tension threads through to their conclusion while balancing additional threads of tension in the background so the scene doesn't take a nose dive once that conclusion is reached.

I realized, hey! that's what's been happening to me!

so...... how do I overcome that? it's not as easy as simply Doing. I have to figure out why I keep copping out on my tension.

For me, I think it's a combination of things.

first, I have ADHD and find it difficult to finish stuff (including scenes!) because I'm already thinking of the next scene or project.

second, I'm a pantser (for the most part), so I don't often know how a scene is going to end. that often translates to summarizing what happens next in only a paragraph or two so I can get on to the next scene.

third, and I think this is the big one: I get tunnel vision. In my focus on getting from point A to point B, I simply forget about every other thread of tension I have going.

there isn't much I can do about the ADHD, but the pantsing + tunnel vision combo? I can work with that.

I don't "Plot" in general because, in telling the whole story like that, my brain says I'm done and tries to move on to another project. However, I think I'll personally benefit from some limited planning. Micro-plotting the scene I'm about to write, and ONLY that scene.

the funny thing is, I've known for a while that I find it helpful to note what needs to happen in the current scene. I think I still struggled despite that because I wasn't consciously aware of the need to pay attention to my tension. (pay at...tension? eh? eh? anyone?)

anyway, I think I'll come up with a list of generic questions to ask myself before I move on to the next scene or chapter to help keep myself focused on the big picture.

(this is a reminder to myself not to consider these questions set in stone, and not to worry too much about answering them if I'm in a flow state with my writing during a given session. this is also a reminder to you as a writer, if you're still reading after that atrocious pun I made two paragraphs back. <3)

the questions will include:

do the characters need to react to something major that happened last scene?

did the characters learn something they have to follow up on/debate about?

what threads of tension were resolved last scene?

what threads of tension are still on-going as of the end of the last scene?

what new threads of tension might start in this upcoming scene?

I might make the questions their own post, now that I think about it. I'm also going to write them on a sticky note and put them above my monitor so they're close at hand. otherwise they're out of sight, out of mind. (which is another problem I have related to the tunnel vision. because I'm so focused on the Point of what I'm writing in a given moment, I'll forget to look at scene structure, which is an important part of Not Getting Writer's Block. so it goes.)

anyway, thanks for following along with my rambling, and I hope I said something that helps you in your own process! happy writing! <3

#rambling #this is basically an entry in my Writing Journal because i'm talking myself through this lol #writeblr #writing advice #writing community #writer's block #tension #scene structure #writing tips

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abtheb · 3 days

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youtube

This is/was my big end of term project.

In December, our class of 16 was randomly split up into groups of 4, given art prompts based off dice rolls, and told to make a level/map/game by mid-April. I ended up in a group with 3 people in the class that I never really spoke to until that point, and our prompts were uninteresting and hard to create a concept around. I ended up doing nearly all the work because that's just how group projects go I guess. Ultimately, it came out pretty ok. I'm not in love with it at all, and it's hard to be enthusiastic about something that was (1) made for school, (2) generated from random prompts, and (3) a forced collaboration with 3 strangers, each needing to include misc assignments-based criteria. But it was very good practice for learning Unreal Engine, in particular the Blender -> UE workflow for exporting models, baking textures, assembling materials, setting up animations, etc. It was also my first opportunity to design and make a level/map from scratch, and populate it with foliage and props that I modeled myself. Combined with the Skeletons, Attack! video I made as the final for my Animation class, I also learned a lot about making scenes and staging my models in UE, lighting, filming, rendering, post-processing, etc. I think what I've learned can really elevate my art and make it shine in new ways, and I look forward to what I can do next.

#my art #Youtube

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recurring-polynya · 3 months

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Writing/Art Update 1.30.2024

Good news! I have finished Chapter 7, including the parts of Chapter 7 that is now in Chapter 8. I mentioned last week that Chapter 7 was running really long with 3 scenes left to go, and I wasn't sure if I was just going to let it get really, really long, or if I was going to shunt those scenes into Chapter 8. In the end, I did both--I moved the longest of the three scenes to Ch 8, and kept the other two in Chapter 7. I had it in my mind that this would ruin the pacing, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed Fine, Actually, and I think it is.

Finishing "all the stuff allotted for Chapter 7" was kind of a big milestone for me, so I celebrated by...editing Chapters 5 and 6 and sending them to my beta. The editing was a bit of a bigger project than I expected--I had run into a couple of places where I wrote things out of order, and I ended up with "well, does this character know about X or not?" problems that I had to resolve. Anyway, I got a very positive review, so that's exciting!

What's next? Well, the second scene of Chapter 8 was already written, although it had more integration problems, so I cleaned those up and got it into place. That puts Chapter 8 at about 5k words right now (I'm always aiming for 8-9). I've got one more, fairly hefty scene on the outline, so that should fit just about right.

My plan was to try and finish Chapter 8 and then skip ahead and try to write the end. Usually, for fanfics like this, I have a very clear end in mind, and I honestly did not for this one. A while ago, I sat down and came up with one, but I'm not all that sure if it's gonna take up a whole chapter, or if I'm gonna have to pad it a little. I figure that once I have the end in place, it will be easier to fill in the canyon between what I've got and where I've got to go. Right now, the outline gives me one chapter to do that. I feel in my heart like it's more realistically two. I am not excluding the possibility I might get carried away and need three (geez I hope not tho). I've had a little trouble getting started on that last scene of Ch 8 tho-- I'm gonna give it another day or two, and if I can't get some juice on it, I might just skip ahead to the end and come back to it later.

Word count: Part B is now 34,983, for a total of 71,862 (+7265 from last week, although about half of that was already written, so let's call it a 3600 word week).

I also spent a lot of this week drawing. It's a Kuchiki sibs piece for both their birthdays. It was very hard and I won't say I'm happy with it, but I fanart-failed the last two things I tried to do, so I'm just pushing forward. I want to have something to show for January. I've finished up the linework and the flat colors, but it still needs shading and I need to half-ass a background of some sort. I hope I'll be able to do all that in time to post it tomorrow. This is also the phase of the project where it looks the least good, and the part that comes next is where it rapidly starts to look a lot better. I also need to do A Special Effect, and I think I'm going to have to look up a tutorial, because my usual brush-mashing was not turning out to be fruitful. We'll just have to see, I guess.

#writing update #art update

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alfafilly · 4 months

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2023 Art Summary

Oof. MAN! 2023 started off great, but much like last year it took a big dumpy around summer time. And once again... it was mostly financial struggles. Sucks when money dictates so much of your progress. As a result of this, pretty much all of my projects I was PLANNING to pick back up in 2023 had to stay on hiatus, and once again I had to focus a LOT of my time on commissions. I have mentioned it before, but as much as I really do like doing commissions (I love making people happy and drawing so many cool OCs), doing my own projects with my own characters is what brings me the most joy. I really didn't get to do much personal work OR work on my comic... and that kinda stinks! But I'm not gonna dwell on the negatives. Shit happens! Gotta move onward! One thing I enjoyed this year was starting back streaming, this time on TWITCH! I only got to stream a couple times, but the move to Twitch from Picarto made a huge difference. I really enjoyed it when I did do it! So for 2024 I am planning to take every Thursday off from my day job and stream! I might not stream EVERY Thursday, but I will be streaming as often as I can. My first Thursday off is NEXT WEEK and I'm excited! I'll be returning to doing commissions strictly in stream from now on, and when I'm not doing commissions I'll be doing personal art! There's so much I wanna do!! If you'd like to follow my streaming adventures (attempt #443093) you can follow my Twitch! I'll only be using Picarto for content not Twitch-friendly going forward. I'll look into possibly streaming to both platforms simultaneously, as I know that's a thing, but I have to look more into it. https://www.twitch.tv/alfafilly The Breakdown: January - My favorite piece of the year, and it was right at the start! February - Marci! She!! Had to pick her :) March - PRETTY LADIES THIS YEAR!! April - Bonana... Also a fav piece! May - I liked all the badges I made for FWA, but this one had fun colors! June - Cady :D July - MORE PRETTY LADIES. Art Fight is so fun! A highlight of the year once again! August - Sly Cooper shenanigans still shenaniganning B) September - BORB. LADY. BORB LADY. October - Big fancy YCH I included for the sheer amount of work it took! November - More traditional!!! A piece I made for MFF... but I am secretly glad it didn't sell because I wanted to keep it... :3c December - A fun wintery piece to end it out on!

Posted using PostyBirb

#Filly's Art #art meme #art summary #summary of art #compilation

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lady-assnali · 1 year

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This is in the teacher au universe but has nothing to do with it and everything to do with the fact that I remembered that Hit the Back existed and my brain malfunctioned for a whole week. So just. Carry on. In whatever timeline there might be, this is probably only a week or so after Gigi returns from LA to surprise Crystal for her birthday.

(I was going to post this next week but I literally had the day from hell so I’m trying to bring some good good karmic balance into the world)

Gigi downs a shot of whatever Crystal had in the front of her cabinet, closing her eyes and letting the liquid courage soak through to her bones. It warms her, numbs her. She holds the shot glass in one hand, turning it over in contemplation before pouring another little sip. She takes the second shot with ease before putting the glass in the sink, shutting the bottle of liquor back in the cabinet.

“What?” Tic Tac sits at her feet, nuzzling her ankles with an attention-grabbing purr. Gigi shakes her head, picking the tabby up with an affectionate nuzzle. “I’m fine, everything is going to be great. This is just a big deal-a really big deal. This could change everything.”

Unable to do much else, Gigi plants herself on the couch. She crosses one leg over the other, sits up with one hand on her knee and the other petting the cat absentmindedly. This is how Crystal finds her half an hour later, opening the door with an affectionate call of ‘I’m home!’ only to find her girlfriend in her direct line of sight looking like she’s just murdered a man.

“Hi?” She approaches the couch questioningly, tossing her keys on the counter and her jacket on the armchair before swooping down to kiss the corner of Gigi’s lips. “Did someone die?”

“What? Oh, god no. No, I just was waiting for you to get home. I got a really important email today.”

“Oh?”

“And I have something to show you.” She pats the space next to her on the couch and Crystal complies without second thought, one hand on Gigi’s thigh and the other affectionately brushing the ends of her hair. Her girlfriend takes out her phone, casting a black screen to the TV. She pauses then, taking in a deep breath and turning her body to face the brunette.

“Okay. So. This is like. The biggest of the most recent L.A projects I think. I mean, for where I want my career to go it’s not going to launch me into the right places for design or anything but in terms of hits and exposure I feel like it has potential to go pretty far.”

“Is it one of the ads?”

“It’s actually a music video-which I never in one million years thought I’d even book. But I got the call asking me to come in before I even auditioned, which…that was huge. I didn’t tell anybody because it didn’t feel real, but then we filmed and they loved it and they loved me, which just feels insane. The song is really catchy and I’m super proud of the result, I guess, and I got a little advance sneak before it goes public and I thought I’d let you watch it before everyone else because I’m kind of nervous.”

“Of course they loved you, it’s impossible not to fall in love with you the second you say hi. Trust me, I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about.”

Gigi’s stomach flips at the compliment and she finds herself laughing nervously, resting her hand over Crystal’s on her leg. She exhales again in an attempt to expel the rest of her pent up nervous energy before giving up entirely, pressing play on the TV.

The opening starts and her girlfriend watches intently, grinning wildly at seeing her portrayed on the screen. She taps Gigi’s thigh, affectionate, with a quiet that’s my girl!

The ginger keeps her eyes forward, glued to the screen without absorbing anything. It’s so strange to watch herself in this light, professional makeup and a blonde wig, lip synching like she would in a club with the precise dose of alcohol. It’s better than the alternative, she thinks. There’s a cloud of thoughts as the famous blonde version of herself starts taking off her jacket; why did she have to show Crystal this video alone? What if she thought it was a weird gesture? It’s business, sure, but at one point she’d felt sexy climbing around in that limo and now she just feels the tightening muscles of self-doubt.

Video Gigi rips the top of her blazer off, exposing skin and letting her long, lithe arms do the work. She’s taken off the blazer, running her fingers through her long blonde wig, and real-time on the couch Gigi notices the pause in Crystal’s stroking of her own hair. Refusing to look at her girlfriend, the ginger opts for moving a hand to her own chin, resting a tilted head on it.

It’s truly a strange sensation, watching herself like this. Gigi had never seemed like one who lacked confidence. Outwardly, she’d refused to show any kind of weakness in the sense. Weakness meant that other models could pick on her; casting directors would see it from a mile away, people who came looking for custom dresses wouldn’t be able to trust her if they saw a crack in her façade. Gigi had become very good at taking her doubt and bottling it, stowing it away in the dustiest back corner of her brain and letting it out through her needle and thread, or the brave submission of an Instagram post. She’d been coined as intimidating-a mean-girl on sight although the mean bones in her body were tucked in that dusty corner too, in a firing arsenal in case of emergency.

So confident it-girl Gigi Goode remains at the forefront.

Confident it-girl Gigi Goode catches the transformation of her pale flesh to a warm, easily clockable rosy flush as her video counterpart fumbles with the buttons on her pants. From beside her, Crystal shifts in her seat. The hand on Gigi’s thigh squeezes and releases, moves a bit further up, but neither of the two have the breath or the courage to say anything.

Maybe this isn’t a total car wreck, Gigi muses. She tries to remember what she’d felt like this morning, watching this same video by herself while Crystal had been working at the studio. She’d felt powerful, confident…she’d felt really good about the final result. Even the accompanying email had been flooded with compliments-how this was the artist’s exact vision, how Gigi had been professional and charming and wonderful to work with. Taking a heart-settling breath, she finally brings herself to look over at Crystal.

Her eyes are wide, face flushed with color. Her mouth is slightly agape. Occasionally, she brings her bottom lip in and bites it distractedly, letting it stay there until lips fall apart again. Her hand doesn’t stay on Gigi’s thigh, rather skates down her long legs with a feather-light touch until her fingers graze the tattooed part of her calf.

“Can we-can we pause it?”

Gigi fumbles for her phone and the screen freezes. She almost has to laugh at the image in front of them, her ass taking over the screen as she crawls to the back of the limousine. She’d be laughing in full if her heart weren’t slamming in her chest, ready to turn the TV off entirely. But when her eyes meet Crystal’s she can barely register the expression on her face before she’s being pushed back onto the couch, the weight of her girlfriend’s body covering her own with fervid desire. Gigi squeaks in surprise, writhing under her heavy touches and the trail of her hands on the bare skin underneath her shirt. She threads her fingers through the brunette’s curls, pulling a bit to find some kind of grounding. Still fully clothed, she feels like she could lose herself at Crystal’s intensity, and she slips her hands over her girlfriend’s, guiding them to the hem of her shorts. Crystal lingers there for a while, grazing her lips languidly over her hip bones, before sitting herself up.

Gigi looks up at her with a raised eyebrow and swollen lips, disappointment clear through the whine that’s caught in the back of her throat. Crystal’s adjusting her shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles and evening her shaky breaths.

“Sorry, It just-that…the video-that was, uh.” She stumbles over her words, hands settled in her lap like a child in school desperately trying to keep focus on the conversation at hand. She keeps her gaze locked on the screen, now paused on the still shot of Gigi in red lace. The ginger shifts in her seat, pushing back her hair. Unnerved by the silence, she puts a hand on Crystal’s shoulder.

“Did you like it?”

“You’re asking me that question? Even after I couldn’t even finish it…Geeg! Are you kidding? Oh my god, I can’t even believe you’re a real person. That was so hot.”

“Yeah?”

Gigi’s heart flips, her blush increasing over porcelain skin from head to foot. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to the adrenaline that came along with the compliment-with Crystal eyeing her with a flustered sort of disbelief.

“I’m really, really happy we started dating before you decided to book that role. Do you seriously think I would have been okay watching that in your living room with Heidi throwing popcorn and Jan slapping me and Jackie trying to ask you questions about it all?? I could barely handle your first shoot with that small business pajama brand! You were literally in shorts and a tank top.If I’d seen this?? I would’ve had to leave the country.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah. So. We can definitely finish watching this. We really should keep watching this. But…can we do it later?”

Gigi grins at her girlfriend, her self-doubt cleared away by the way Crystal has been reduced to half-formed sentences, turned to putty by the still-frame on the television and Gigi’s very real body right next to her; Gigi, who has been her girlfriend since her return from L.A. The ginger gets up from the couch, looking over Crystal contemplatively before sighing. The older girl watches, confused, as Gigi walks away.

“You know,” Gigi throws her voice over her shoulder, a mischievous grin visible for only a moment before she flips her hair back. “That red set was mine. Maybe it ended up here.”

#crygi #That’s it that’s the tag #idk what this truly is other than self indulgence really

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fae-iii · 10 months

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Hello. Gonna post some pixel art in the pokemon gen 1 style that I also posted to Cohost.

Edit: Holy cats, this looks bad on mobile. It looks fine in editing on mobile and looks fine on desktop. Maybe I'll export them differently next time.

Shuppet:

This Meowth clock was envisioned to be like, a tile that would go on a wall in R/B/Y, but it’s too big for that:

Espurr (idk why I kept the background color in when I exported this) :

I kinda liked the rough draft of Espurr better tho, they got a diet pepsi:

Meowstics:

Pumpkaboo:

Perrserker:

Alolan Persian (I’m really proud of this one, turned out really good and made me feel depersonalization or jamais vu or something like that. If there’s a proper term for when something you’ve created feels too good to be yours, I’m unaware of it.) :

Hisuian Sneasel:

Yamper:

Furfrou (I don’t really like this one, was trying not to make them face forward, somethings off and idk exactly what, good practice tho and not as bad as I remembered) :

Alolan Meowth:

Here’s some of my PMD OC’s:

This is Riolu (He doesn’t have a name other than Riolu) :

This is his partner (avidly platonic; not, like, romantic), Fae:

Here’s Riolu again, less shocked; with and without scarf:

I want to do some kind of larger project with the two of them. I have the creative output of an incandescent bulb; so, like, who knows when or if that’ll happen anytime soon.

Fae in particular has taken up a lot of room in my mind. Started a sketchbook that I’ve been posting to Cohost and have mainly been focusing on her design. Trying to get details consistent and from different angles, other art things I am currently unaware of, but maybe’ll learn later.

Unrelated to my OC’s; here’s an Eevee:

Anyway, here’s my Cohost: https://cohost.org/Childebert

I’m probably gonna be more active there and not bother posting *absolutely everything* here. I got the aforementioned sketchbook; dream journals; game thoughts; thoughts that I think are funny at the time, but I regret later, but not enough to delete; uhh I used to have a lot of disorganized stress posts that iirc were pretty negative, but I think I got most of them back into drafts now. They were long and rambly and I wasn’t really venting in a way that was conducive to figuring out solutions, I don’t think. Gonna use my private journal instead and try and keep stress-posting to a minimum.

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claireandacat · 9 months

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Barbenheimer weekend!

It’s Barbenheimer weekend and as a cinephile, I of course participated. Today was Barbie with my brother and yesterday I went to Oppenheimer. I bought shirts to wear to each one and went to my favorite theatre (I will never ever step into a chain theater with the exception of B&B bc it did start in MO where I am from)

This is a year for movies as a Wes Anderson movie and Chris Nolan movie came out this year. My two favorite directors. I know kinda contrasting. One makes serious, science-y movies and the other quirky indie films. I love them.

I got the guy’s name tattooed on my upper back, how super fan can one get? Next I just need a Chris Nolan tattoo and my super fan status will be extended 😂

I’ll start by talking about Barbie, now I’m not much of a fan of chick flicks, they’ve never really appealed to me but hey I’ve played with a Barbie or 10 in my childhood so this movie should be fun.

It was a fun movie. Margot Robbie was amazing as Barbie. The 2001 beginning scene was an awesome touch. I love that Will Farrell is the Mattel CEO. He is always so funny and dramatic with roles such as that.

I still liked Oppenheimer more.

I’m a HUGE fan of Cillian Murphy and have been waiting for Oppenheimer since I heard Cillian would be the star of the movie. Cillian is also in my top hot actors list, I’ve been in love with the guy since I saw 28 Days Later when I was 16.

I mean, have you seen the guy? He is up there with Sebastian Stan and Daniel Brühl in my opinion. 😍😍😍

Maybe I should make a post about my favorite hot actors?

Back to the subject at hand, Oppenheimer was a MASTERPIECE. Nolan never fails to disappoint. It is 3 hours long to do get a quiet fidget toy. I was pretty focused on the movie so it wasn’t too much of a problem. My favorite theater has a bar so I often saw people getting up for a 2nd and third drink based on the amount of cans I heard opening.

That’s what I hate about ASD you get in the focus of something and then you hear some measly background noise and the focus is gone.

Y’all Josh Peck makes an appearance.

I want to point out the scenes where Oppenheimer is overwhelmed/getting a sensory overload. I read another article that Nolan wanted to really capture what it’s really like to be in that situation. Like really really be in that situation. As someone that often (well not as often now that I left a stressful job) experiences being overwhelmed or a sensory overload Nolan was spot on. Especially with the amount of stress and trauma Oppie endured, the sounds and cinematography of it really had you feeling it. Heck for a minute I was feeling the feels of stress, anxiety and burnout I was feeling at my previous job.

I would definitely recommend doing some reading on the Manhattan Project before seeing. There is lots of awesome videos explaining the whole story. It will definitely give you a better understanding of the events unfolding.

Also, want to give a shout out to Gary Oldman (like he would see this post 😅) for playing president Truman the president from my home state and I even live half an hour away from his hometown 😂 and went to a school named after him. Oldman def got that Midwestern accent down 😂

I always forget that it was Truman that signed off on the big kaboom boom to go down. Makes me wanna say, way to go MO! We got buildings, streets, and schools named after this guy 😂 *I’m joking, the events of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were tragic*

I am definitely looking forward to seeing Oppenheimer again. I’ve yet to see it with my dad who is also a fan of Chris Nolan’s work. Heck the guy had not one but two professors that were involved in the Manhattan Project when he was at KU back in the early to mid eighties.

RIP my bank account buying all these movie tickets and snacks 😅

I hope you all can get a chance to participate in Barbenheimer fun this weekend.

Happy Friday!

#barbenheimer #barbie #oppenheimer #my thoughts #my reviews #lifestyle blog #autistic things #autistic women #actually austistic #cinephile #cillian murphy #tumblr fyp

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anotherghoul666 · 1 year

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Let's say someone (me) was super excited to see what you were writing next. Would you be willing to give someone (me) a little info on the WIPS you have and what someone (me) can be looking forward to?

Of course Ô Patron Saint of ghoul fucking, I would be honored to provide said information to *someone*!

I'm currently 5k words deep into a reader's request from Arson, which was for Mountain/Dew a/b/o with size kink and "going at it like savages". There's lots of lore and worldbuilding in this one about heats and ruts and such, a full band scene that has me CACKLING, and I'm just getting into the good part, aka primal play, predator/prey, chase and takedown, rough fucking, knotting, control biting, all that good shiiiiiit. Should be out within a couple of weeks if all goes well.

Next is the Stripper!AU me, joey, you and the rultination people spoke about. Main pairing is gonna be Swiss/Rain. It shall countain stripping, private dances, strip club shennanigans, as you'd expect. I'm building the outline of the club now and how it works, everyone's jobs, the outfits, the music, etc.

Next is gonna be a MASSIVE project I'm co-creating with the beautiful soul that happens to be my beta reader, a request for a fic she's been searching for since getting into the Ghost fandom but never found just right. Main pair will also be Swiss/Rain. It'll be a Rain origin story / corruption arc. It will hurt and heal to write at the same time. I plan this one to be a multi chapter, I never do those usually but the story's just too big for a one-shot. But I want to have it all written before I start posting because otherwise, I know myself, I'll feel too much time pressure and abandon the project. And I REALLY need to have this fic out of system. So it'll take a long time to write but it should be well worth it for yall.

After that, nothing's set in stone, all my ideas (and future requests I vibe with) are fair game. Swiss knife kink fic. Ghoulettes f/f/f threesome. I got a request for Rain in bondage I started to write notes for. Glove kink fic. Aether blowjob fic. I have, like, way too many ideas and I fucking love it. I eat it up. I'm bursting with ideas and this is why I'm here.

I hope this could wet your appetite and satisfy your curiosity for a little bit ;) Thanks for tagging along Saint, your excitment carries me! ❤️❤️❤️

#asks

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shadowsong26fic · 1 year

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do i twist; do i fold

Author: shadowsong26

Rating: R

Fandom: BSG

Characters: Gaius Baltar, Caprica-Six

Warnings: Significant discussion of genocide and murder; more oblique references to torture.

Summary: Caprica comes clean a few months early.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective creators.

Notes: Written for the Year of the OTP event. April prompt: canon divergence. This is one I’ve been looking forward to posting since I decided to do this whole event, and while there are a couple things I keep poking at to reword (particularly the last couple lines), it’s one of those ‘If I don’t just let it go, I’ll never stop’ situations, so here it is. Also, while I know The Plan implies a much tighter timeline here, this a) makes a little more sense to me, and b) makes for a more interesting story, so I’m going with what I’ve got here.

Title comes from ‘Voodoo Child’ (Rogue Traders)

(I am also going to do this for Star Wars and some of my original ‘verses, if you’re interested in checking those out! One ship per canon. The fanfic ones will be posted to AO3 probably a day or two after they’re on tumblr. This fic is also available on AO3 here. Master list of all fills can be found here.)

592 days, eighteen hours, forty minutes.

That’s how long it’s taken to get to this point. To complete her mission.

Well, mostly. She’ll have to remain in position until the very end, of course; to monitor for any problems, to guard against exposure, to make any changes to the program that can’t be done remotely.

It’ll take approximately three months, according to the most optimistic projections.

Three months for the last pieces to fall into place, for the final preparations for the strike.

Six months is a more realistic estimate; twelve is the worst-case scenario.

Worst.

592 days, eighteen hours, forty-one minutes since they met. Not that she’s been counting.

And in a few months, maybe a year, it’ll all be over. Really, truly over. Humanity will burn, she will be reborn, and…

It seems like an eternity. To stay with him, to lie to him--and, yes, she’s been doing that for so long already, and no, nothing has changed, not really, but it feels different.

It seems like no time at all.

Her heart races, and her mind whirls, spinning through all the little moments they’ve shared. Not the big ones--not their first meeting, not helping with his father, not the moment he said yes, but the little ones.

His fingertips, brushing against hers as he passes her a cup of coffee.

Lying together lazily in the morning, talking about everything and nothing.

Dragging the whiteboard out of his office to settle an argument; not really caring who won as they built their equations together.

Even that insufferable amused tolerance when the conversation turns to religion.

The way he smiles when he thinks she isn’t looking.

All the little pieces of the life they could have built together. That they almost have.

It will all be gone.

And he--he won’t wake up after. He won’t be reborn. He will just…burn.

He’s sitting there, next to her, like he has so many times before. If he’s having second thoughts, he’s hiding it well. He’s ready to give her everything she wanted.

Everything she asked for.

And all she can think about is that three months, six months, maybe a year from now, he will burn.

Five hundred ninety-two days, eighteen hours, forty-two minutes.

I can’t do this.

(It’s not just him; it’s all of them--however righteous her people’s fury, when weighed against all of those little moments, multiplied by billions of human beings…but if she hadn’t known him, if she hadn’t--loved--)

“Wait,” she says, putting her hand on his. Stopping him from going any further.

He blinks. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“There’s…” She takes a breath. “There’s something you should know.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

His hands are still shaking.

He’s not sure how long it’s been, exactly, since she told him. Since she stopped him. Since he almost--

Gods.

Unsteadily, he pushes himself to his feet; gets another drink; only spills a little. He presses the cold glass to his forehead, reminding himself to breathe, to think, to--

I’m a Cylon.

She’s always seemed so…so real.

His heart races, and his mind whirls, spinning through all the little moments they’ve shared. Not the big ones--not the day they met, not the first time she brought him to her flat, not the moment he said yes, but the little ones.

The feel of her fingers against his when they brushed together across a cup of coffee.

Waking up together and staying in bed for hours, talking or making love or both or neither.

Dragging the whiteboard out of his study so one of them could prove a point, and it not mattering in the end who was right, because they worked it out together.

Even that irrational certainty when she talks about her God.

The way her face softens when she smiles at him.

All the little pieces of the life they might have built together. That they almost have.

…she seems real because she is.

After six hundred days, give or take, of seeing her, of sharing his life with her in ways he never has before, not with anyone, he knows that much for sure.

She is a real person. A real woman. A woman he--

He finds himself back across the room, back on the sofa, not really recalling how he got there. He seems to have brought the decanter along with him--probably wise.

He leaves it on the end table, though; stares at the melting ice in his still-mostly-full glass, and thinks--

What do I do now?

The obvious thing--the smart thing--probably the right thing--would be to turn her in. Tell his friends at Defense that he was…approached. As--as she pointed out, he hasn’t actually done anything yet. Nothing irrevocable, anyway. Nothing he can’t talk his way out of. He wouldn’t have to admit how close--and if she tried to claim otherwise, it would be her word against his, after all.

His reputation would be damaged, possibly irreparably, and he’d likely never work another government contract, but he’d keep his freedom and his head. Which is certainly something to consider.

And she…

He stares into his drink for another moment; slowly takes a sip.

In all likelihood, she would be…be executed. Terminated. Would they even see it as an execution? Would they--could they--even see her as a person?

…but in truth, as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that that is not the likeliest scenario.

A Cylon, one who looks--who feels--so perfectly real? So perfectly human?

No. Murdering her would not be their first move.

She would be studied. Tested, to determine her capabilities, her differences. If she cooperates, she may even be treated--decently. Considering. He would probably never see her again, but she’d be alive. They would both survive this.

Except…

He considers some of his other Defense contacts. What they might do with her. To her.

He shudders again and finishes his drink.

And, yes, all right, it’s entirely probable that cooler--saner--more human heads will prevail, but…

He cannot--he cannot risk that. He cannot risk her. Not like that.

He pours another drink, and pauses, recalling--something else she said.

That he was--that her mission was--their first, best choice for access (and whether he should be flattered or insulted at the thought is something to think about another day).

But he was not--is not--their only option.

The Cylons--her people--have backup plans, alternatives, should her mission fail.

And she doesn’t entirely know what those alternatives might be.

His blood runs cold at the thought.

It doesn’t change what he--what he already knows. He still cannot turn her in.

But he also cannot--knowing what he now knows, he has to do…something.

Can I? Can I really…can I do this? A question he hasn’t really asked himself, not in this sense, not in a long time. He is very good, the best, but getting into this so late in the game, and the risks involved…

…I have to. I have to try.

And if he fails…if he fails, having tried, at least he’ll be remembered as a hero. There are worse things to contemplate.

And she’ll be here.

She came to him for a reason, after all. The first time, yes, but the second as well. If she’d only been doubting her mission, she could have simply walked away. To stop this--if there is any hope of stopping this--she needs him. As much as he needs her.

Whatever…whatever else he might…

His phone is in his hand before he can change his mind, and he dials a number he’s spent five hundred and ninety-three days engraving into his mind and heart.

Not that he’s been counting.

She answers on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” he says, then takes a shaking breath. “I think that…that is, we should…I’d…can you come over? We should…we should talk.”

She lets out a little breath of her own; what it means, what she feels, he couldn’t say. “I’ll be there,” she says.

There’s a long, aching silence, full of things he wants to say but--can’t. Not now. Not yet.

Perhaps not ever.

“…I’ll see you soon,” he says, when he can’t bear it any longer.

“See you soon,” she echoes, and the line goes dead.

Perhaps it’s simply…a decision has been made, he’s taken a step in a direction, but he somehow feels less…

He puts the phone down carefully; closes his eyes; finishes his drink; settles back to wait.

For the end.

For some kind of frakked-up beginning.

…for her.

#shadowsong writes bsg

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icarianiscariot · 1 year

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4, 8, 17, 19, and 23

HI RACHEL <333 HAPPY NEW YEAR

from these end of the year asks

4. Movie of the year?

hmmm the big two that i can think of that came out this year were the batman which slapped, loved robpat in eyeshadow so much, and the adam project, which was soooo good (and a great peek at the kid who's gonna be playing percy jackson eeeee) i don't think i really watched many movies this year? OH I JUST ALSO REMEMBERED a) jujutsu kaisen 0 AND b) BELLE!!! both were BANGER anime/animated films that i obsessed over too! i'd love to one day make belle's red flower dress (or a masc version, a la ryan ross's iconic Rose Vest)

8. Game of the year?

the only two games i play are genshin and persona 5 and ngl i'mma go w persona 5 royal. like, genshin was huge among my friends and def had a big impact (ha) on me but p5r is so dear to my heart and i actually FINISHED my first playthrough in 2022!!!

17. Post a picture from the end of the year

me??? posting a selfie in 20223?? okok fine i'll give you another one too hmmm-- here's one from december, pre-purple dye so my hair is super scrungly (and this was post-con, during a 13-hour car ride day lol) (friends' faces blotted out because they don't go here)

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

also answered here and here (summary: seeing more friends irl, some cosplay plans, and finishing my first full year of grad school!) hmmm. i'm excited about my new goal of writing a poem every day (or most days) of the year, and i'm looking forward to getting back into zine-making!!!

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

speak your mind directly! don't cower!! let yourself have beautiful things and let the people around you have beautiful things!!! also: don't trust pretty words from people who have never put effort into you before. they don't actually like you. (i thought we learned this in 2019 and yet it bit me again this year. i get too caught up in the idea of new, exciting friendships only to get ghosted when they find someone more interesting/attentive...)

#answered #sorry it took me a couple days to get to this!!! ily!!!#geometricalien #rachel #end of the year asks

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radroller · 2 years

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Stephen Reads Valiant: Part 5

So here we are, more fun to be had! Let’s get into it!

Bloodshot and H.A.R.D. Corps Vol 4: more Bloodshot! I’d be lying if i said i wasnt more happy to be stretching my legs in some other series this go-round, but Bloodshot continues to kick ass. His journey continues, gripping with fallout from Harbinger Wars and finding himself back working for Project Rising Spirit (which deserves a yikes even with the new management). But that’s only the half of it, the rest of the book is devoted to the eponymous H.A.R.D. Corps which i mentioned last post. They’re a lot like the Suicide Squad except that they privately owned and cut out the middle-man of recruiting criminals by simply dangling money over vulnerable and desperate peoples’ heads. Leader Charlie Palmer’s attempts to turn the team into something good for the sake of the innocent new recruits lines up well with Bloodshot’s own personal journey, no doubt why they decided to make a book out’ve both of them. All in all a solid new direction for the comic, i both look forward to seeing where it goes and am happy to set Bloodshot aside for the moment to read other things. Speaking of which!

Eternal Warrior Vol 1: I’ve been looking forward to reading this one (even before i learned it was written by Grek Pak) mostly because Gilad Anni-Padda is a pretty important character who’s been popping in and out around the Valiant Universe. He’s Armstrong’s little brother, he was Aric of Dacia’s friend in Visigoth times, cool immortal guy stuff. And i LOVE immortal characters/plots in general, but even with that in mind Gilad is incredibly cool. A badass master of all forms of combat with an undying thirst for battle tempered by a heroes heart and respect for the sanctity of human life? Fucking ACES man! X-O Manowar remains my favorite comic of the bunch, but Gilad is a contender for my favorite character. That said Eternal Warrior is pretty damn good, building off some of the lore introduced in other books like the various houses and the geomancers while also telling a great personal story about Gilad getting back into the swing of things after decades in seclusion. An awesome time and i look forward to more!

Archer & Armstrong Vol 2: Finally back with these bozos again! The end of last arc led to the inadvertent death of a geomancer, putting Archer and Armstrong in the crosshairs of….the Eternal Warrior!!! This reading order i looked up is by no means essential but it comes in handy sometimes. I’m assuming Gilad’s series takes place a good deal prior to this adventure because A) he is fully back in his brutal defender of the Earth mode and B) im fairly certain the geomancer who died is his friend Buck. But enough about that, the important thing is they need to find the next geomancer so that Gilad doesn’t super murder Archer, all while combating and evading a cult dedicated to reducing the world to pure nothingness. Among all of these things, the big win for me personally is the new geomancer character Kay McHenry who is a real joy in spite of her origins. Another great volume, it’s great to be back with these fools!

Overall: This section is becoming redundant but what the heck: i loved these comics. Real solid stuff. But i’m even more excited for next time, because i’ve got not only more Archer & Armstrong but the first two volumes of Quantum & Woody too!!!

#stephen reads valiant

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boysplanetrecaps · 3 months

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The Great Produce 48 Rewatch: Ep 4, Mamma Mia (Kara) Challenge

Welcome back to the Great Produce48 Rewatch Recap Project of 2023-2024! I have run into difficulties, in that the original site I was watching it on went down for a day or two, but I fought back with the help of a different site that still houses the P48 episodes, just with Spanish subtitles. My Spanish is pretty good so it’s not that big a deal, plus I have google translate on my side when I need it (which is surprisingly not that often -- thanks, Spanish department of my high school!). And YOU CAN’T STOP ME from doing this. No one wants or needs me to do it, and yet, I must. So, I continue. Also, when I was almost done with this particular post, the original website came back! What a journey. Let’s go on that journey together, my dear ones!

In the previous post, Jo Yuri and friends performed Short Hair by AOA. It’s time for the Mamma Mia teams to perform! Check it out.

Lee Seungki calls the two teams up to perform the song, noting that the choreography was done by Dance Bae herself back in the day. Backstage, the girls say that they are really looking forward to this performance.

The teams come up -- Team 1 in black, and Team 2 in white.

Murase Sae, Nakanishi Chiyori, Park Minji, Park Jieun, Kim Hyunah

Miyazaki Miho, Cho Sarang, Bibian, Choi Soeun, Shinozaki Ayana, Shin Suhyun

Team 1 introduces themselves as “The Eyeshadows” (in English) --and add, first in Korean and then in Japanese, “We’ll paint your hearts lots of different colors!” -- and Team 2 introduces themselves as “OMG, what are we going to do?” Like, that’s their name. I have a lot to say about team 2’s outfits, but we’ll get there.

Seungki asks Park Minji how she’s feeling, considering that she did this once before in a previous season. She answers that she thought she’d feel less nervous, but if anything, she might be even more anxious! But, she adds, they’ve worked really hard so that they can do their best.

Seungki asks each team to give a statement. Chiyori says her team will never lose! Souen says that her team really wants to win! Hwighting!

Seungki says it’s Showtime! But it is not Showtime! It is… FLASHBACK TIME!

The members:

Kim Hyunah, age 23, who I call husky voiced Hyunah, from B class, ranked a sad 72. 😣

Murase Sae, 21, who auditioned with Funny People, rose from D to C and is currently ranked 43.

Nakanishi Chiyori, 23, Wacky Chiyori, who auditioned with What's Your Name?, rose from D to C, and is ranked 37.

Park Jieun, 20, future ex-Purple Kiss, who fell from C to F and was ranked 70th.

Park Minji, age 19, PD101 trainee and future Secret Number member, from B class, ranked 56.

When we left off, we were learning that Wacky Chiyori is the master of hilarious facial expressions, but that plotline has been abandoned for this next segment. It’s also helpful to recall that Hyunah is the center.

Minji, left; Hyunah, central, and I’m not sure who is to the right since we never see their faces. That’s ok, they’re apparently not important to the story and get 0 camera time.

We start off with a few of the girls in one of those tiny practice rooms, working on their singing together. Park Minji interviews, “this year, I want to be recognized for my singing ability and show everybody what I have to offer.”

We cut to the girls rehearsing with Soyou. She’s having them sing while they dance, which honestly is a good sign -- I’m sure she starts off just listening to them sing, and if they did terribly at that I don’t think she’d ask them to dance at the same time.

She’s making this face.

I dare you to determine, based on her facial expression, what she thinks of them.

Turns out she has nothing but praise for Kim Hyunah, who is my favorite for a reason, and that reason is that she’s great. Soyou even praises her dancing.

Minji (far right) is ready for her critique.

But to Minji, Soyou says, “I’ve told you before, but you shouldn’t sing this all “pretty.” We get a flashback that we’ve never seen before. The MNET editors go pretty ham with this scene, adding in a lovely sepia tone to things so we know that this is a flashback.

In it, Soyou is telling Minji, “You have a lovely voice, but you have to focus in on it alone. You keep trying to look pretty while you sing, and you focus a lot on your mouth.”

Back in… the main timeline, I guess I’ll call it…. she has Minji try again, but interrupts her almost immediately. “Not like that. Don’t drag the sound. Just sing like this:” -- and she demonstrates. Minji imitates her and it sounds great. Soyou nods, adding, “The sound has to grow gradually stronger.” I like seeing this really specific voice work, because the change that Soyou was making to Minji’s voice was really subtle and specific and good.

Minji

Then she has all of the girls sing the high “la pa padi” part, and though they’re all a bit pitchy without accompaniment, they’re basically hitting the notes, and more comfortably than Minji.

Minji interviews that her voice is her best attribute, and even so, she hasn’t been able to establish herself as a main vocalist. She thinks her anxiety is getting the best of her because she doesn’t want to get eliminated again.

Time passes and it’s their dress rehearsal. Minji sounds awful. Just awful. She’s obviously been over rehearsing and she blew out her voice. It’s much worse than Jang Gyuri’s from Peekaboo.

The trainers are just like…

Jeremy asks what’s wrong, but not in a way that seems to demand an answer. Soyou is like, but you’re the main vocalist, if you sound bad you make the whole team sound bad. Minji says that she originally a part in falsetto, and had been trying to sing it full voice, and that was the problem. She asks if it’s ok to change it now. She tries again, but falters, about to cry. Chiyori and the other girls try to comfort her.

Why does Chiyori’s top fit so weird on her? She’s a cute girl -- stylist unnie, wtf?

Jeremy kindly acknowledges the pressure that vocalists face, but it isn’t just that -- Minji is still thinking about getting eliminated last time and how she doesn’t want it to happen again now. It’s so sad how scarred she seems to be from her first elimination. She talks about it for a while in an interview but it comes down to that it sucked to be eliminated before, and she is terrified it will happen again. I think it’s really interfering with her mental health. Poor girl. This show is such a mess.

Backstage, she’s starting to cry again.

LTRL Sae, Jieun, Minji, Hyunah, Chiyori

Hyunah says, “It’s ok, don’t cry. Don’t feel so pressured.”

Minji says, “I feel like it will be really bad if I don't do well.”

Jieun, bless her heart, says “It’s ok if you don’t do well, too. Who cares?”

Minji voice overs, “I want to cry tears of joy when we win. I want to hear people say that al our efforts weren’t in vain.”

And now, it really is performance time! The judges are ready…

I love this shot of the trainer’s room. They’re just in some corner with some big wooden blocks and a few bottles of water. They at least have moderately comfortable looking chairs, but they have to hold their clipboards in their laps. Jeremy is just using his phone to take notes. IDK, the whole thing is so budget. It cracks me up.

As the lights go down, you hear a few shouts from the audience, encouraging Minji and Chiyori by name.

Unfortunately, there are no blessed edits of either group this time, so we’ll just have to make do with the MNET edit and try not to die. Or you could just watch Kim Hyunah’s fancam -- she’s the center, and for whatever reason the camera isn’t as focused on her face as fancams sometimes are, so it’s almost like a full cam.

My thoughts:

It wasn’t terrible or anything, but the vocals weren’t great. When all five of them are singing in the chorus it’s ok, but each of them has kind of thing vocals and when they sing once at a time, it doesn’t sound great overall.

Minji pulls off the high notes -- of course MNET has to drag it out and all that, sigh -- but it doesn’t sound particularly lovely. She also continues to do that thing where she uses her whole body to hit a note.

She sort of sticks out her neck and thickens her throat and just basically does everything in her power to look awkward and hurt her throat. I know that Soyou and Jeremy are doing what they can to help teach the girls how to sing properly, but my god does she need more lessons. I hope that by now, 5 or 6 years later, she has.

Everyone else is a mixed bag. I think Hyunah is an alto, and her part was a little too high for her so she had a hard time. You can actually hear a bit of Park Jieun’s talent leading into the bridge -- you can understand how she would have been in Purple Kiss -- but her voice sounds pretty hoarse in a lot of the song. Slippery elm tea, you dum-dums! Sigh. And as much as I love Chiyori’s personality, neither she nor Sae has a voice that I would like to listen to.

LTR: Minji, Hyunah, Jieun, Chiyori, Sae

Dancewise, it’s the same problem as ever - the camera work hides everything. From what I can see, they look good -- they’re throwing themselves into it and they look pretty synchronized. It’s fun to watch them overall.

Stage presence is also pretty good overall. Sae is good at a smoldering look -- a wink, a lip bite, that kind of thing -- and Chiyori just looks happy to be on stage. Jieun looks down at the ground a lot, and Minji telegraphs every note she sings, neither of which is ideal.

I really don’t know which of these five I would have voted for, but it would have been one of Hyunah or Minji, I think. Hyunah does a great job as center, but her vocals were a little off. Minji looked great when she wasn’t singing, and did a decent job singing, but she was also a little lacking.

I can’t quite give her a vote because of her not-great vocals, but I will say that Sae came into her own in this performance. She’s much more suited to this sexy concept than she was to the silly “Funny People” performance she did as her audition.

LTR: Sae, Jieun, Hyunah, Chiyori, Minji

The MNET edit is nearly intolerable, as per ujh. They make a big deal out of Sae’s wink. If I went on a show like this, I’d wink constantly. I’d basically never stop. It would be hard to see but it would be worth it.

When we come to Minji’s high notes, they do a flashback and a few annoying instant replays, and then they make a big deal out of her doing an ok job. The judges praise the group as a whole, and everyone freaks out about Sae biting her lip sexily in the ending fairy. Ok, I revise my previous statement. I’d alternate between winking and lip biting. It would be hard to see and my lips would hurt, but it would be worth it. Add in the headache I’d get from all the hair tossing and I’d basically be incapacitated, but I’d win the voters’ hearts!

Backstage, the girls hug each other and tell each other that they did a good job. Minji voices over that she’s gotten her confidence back about singing. Well, that’s nice.

Team 2

Team 2 comes up to the stage, accompanied by intense orchestral music. Suhyun voice overs that they worked hard, and she doesn’t want this to be her last stage. Let’s remember who the members of this team are:

Cho Sarang, 14, who sang Tomorrow at the audition, fell from B to F (ouch!) and is currently ranked 90th (ouch again!). She has an eye patch on for some of the rehearsals.

Choi Soeun, 16, who did Question Mark at the audition, fell from B to C and is currently ranked 92 (oh no!)

Miyazaki Miho, 24, our multilingual queen, who has stayed in D and is currently ranked 16th place

Murakawa Bibian, 18 but looks like a baby doll, firmly stationed in F class and ranked 31st

Shin Suhyun, 22, the show’s favorite punching bag, who fell from D to F and is ranked 57th

Shinozaki Ayana, 22, one of the What's Your Name? group, with the beauty mark under her lip, firmly stationed in F class and ranked 87th

When we left off, we had found out that this team did not want to do this song at all, since they didn’t know it. Also, there’s a bit of a rivalry between Miho on this team and Chiyori on the other team, since they’re old friends from AKB48. Bibian was the chooser of this group, Miho is the leader, and Seoun is the center. Sarang is the main vocal and seems to be doing great at it in rehearsals.

We cut to their dance rehearsal. They are anxious and awkward at the start, not sure if Dance Bae wants to see their nametags or wants them to get into formation. They run through their performance, with Dance Bae occasionally shouting at them to change formation. It seems that Seoun is not in the right spot. When they’re done, Dance Bae tells them, “This is beyond belief. You’d get zero votes. I have nothing to say.” But don’t worry, fam, she has plenty to say.

She asks who the leader is, despite it being obvious that Miho is wearing the L sticker.

LTR: Punching bag Suhyun, Boss-babe Miho, and Center Seoun

Dance Bae asks Miho what they were even doing with their time. It looks like they haven’t practiced at all, and they’re going to be humiliated on stage if they keep going like this. Suhyun wipes away a tear quietly. She voice overs, “Our group practiced together, but…” and we head into a flashback-within-a-flashback. Suhyun is asking the team to wait, to confirm certain parts of the choreo for her, to start over, but it seems like everyone just wants to keep going. Suhyun is worried that they won’t get any of the details down that way, but Miho is worried they won’t learn the routine as a whole if they’re worried about details.

Oh no! Miho is worried!

We’ve seen this issue come up before, and I don’t know enough about dancing to really know what’s the right approach. Getting the details right from the start prevents you from establishing bad habits. Working on the routine as a whole allows you to have the big picture so you can keep refining from there. I read a few articles on the topic and it does seem like the general consensus is big picture first, details later, but maybe there’s room for disagreement on this. It can make for some serious discord in a group, though.

Since their styles are so different, they stopped rehearsing together as much and started rehearsing on their own. Some of them notice the other group rehearsing all together and look on with sad jealousy.

It seems like they’re all worried that rehearsing the way they are will make it hard for them to beat the other team, but none of them seem to be doing anything about it.

Finally, they have a meeting in one of those tiny practice rooms.

Miho has written down her thoughts. She tells her team, in Japanese from what I can hear, that she thinks that if they keep going this way, they could end up losing. They’re all charismatic and talented on their own, but no one seems confident or energetic. And, she says, if they lose to Team 1, it’ll be all over. That’s not true, of course, but whatever. She wants them to come together as a team.

Cho Sarang says, “I don’t think we knew that we all felt like that until now. But the thing is, you three already debuted in Japan and have fans waiting for you. But for us, if we’re eliminated, we have nowhere to go.”

Miho says, “But we risked everything to come to Korea. We also don’t really have anywhere to go if we get eliminated.”

They’re all kind of crying now.

Suhyun says, “It’s like Sarang said -- I also have nowhere to go back to.”

They’re all realizing that they are all desperate to win the challenge, and that powers up their teamwork! It’s time for a montage -- suddenly, they can do it! Yeah! Miho voice-overs that her team hopes that all their hard work will come across to the National Producers and win their hearts.

It’s time for the performance! Dance Bae says, “I really hope they do well.”

The performance (MNET Edit link)

It is at this point that I discovered that the original site, kshow123, is back up! And I am proud to report that my understanding of the subtitles in Spanish was spot on. Also, I might keep that Spanish website around because they have better resolution, so it might help me take better screenshots. Ok! Back to the recap.

My thoughts:

Ok, first off, I have to talk about their outfits. They’re obviously based on a particular set of outfits that Kara actually wore while performing:

But this wasn’t really that cute a look even on Kara.

I mean, if you look really closely you can tell that it is some kind of fishnet shorts under their white shorts, but it just gives “control top pantyhose” to me. Also, I caught little Sarang pulling her shorts down a little during the performance. Just.. not great outfits overall. If one group is wearing white and one group is wearing black, the team in black tends to win. I wonder if that’s always true? I’ll have to do some research sometime. Black is slimming and makes skin look paler, which is the Korean standard, and white is the opposite.

That said, let’s talk about the performance.

The biggest problem I have with this performance is the vocals. Shin Suhyun actually does kind of ok as sub-vocal 1, but most of the other vocals sound kind of nasal or shrieky or off key. Even main vocal Sarang doesn’t do that well - the key high notes are edited as if they’re great…

Everyone reacting to something, possibly Sarang’s high notes. By the way, we see Wonyoung, Na Goeun, and Ahn Yujin constantly the whole episode, reacting to everyone else’s performance.

… but she’s definitely flat. Even when she’s on key it doesn’t sound too great because her voice sounds so child-like. That’s fine if you’re singing Baby Shark, but not if you’re singing “Look at nobody but me with that passionate gaze” and “With that skill of yours, lock me up tonight.” Vocally, I think the very worst was Miho, which is such a bummer because she’s such a fun human being. She just… isn’t a very good singer. Sorry, Miho! You still seem really cool!

Dance wise, I think they do fine…? IDK. Thanks, camera man! Thameraman. Some of the moves look really awkward but that might just be the choreo.

Stage presence was a bit better. Choi Soeun does a great job as center, actually.

I think her very low ranking is just because no one knows who the heck she is. Sarang and Vivian look comically out of place to me -- I think they’d both do much better in cute concepts.

Shin Suhyun tries to look sexy but she just kind of looks….

… sleepy? Confused? … it’s not working.

Overall, just kind of amateur.

It’s hard to even say which was better between the two teams since neither was particular great. Sorry, girls! I know you all worked hard. I think this song is just kind of hard to pull off.

The MNET edit tries to make it seem like it was better than it was, but I don’t think the judges were that into it. Dance Bae says to the others, “The thing is, though, they did get a lot better.” That might be the translation, so I checked the Spanish version, which essentially the same. I really get the feeling that Dance Bae was letting the others know that even though this wasn’t great, it was better than it used to be.

Backstage, Choi Soeun says, “I was really worried because we were going up on stage without ever hearing a single word of praise. But I’m thankful now because everyone did so well.”

Shin Suhyun says, “I wish we could’ve done better, but it was really fun. Now I can see why people want to keep performing.” Now you see? You never saw before? Sigh.

It’s time for… the results!

Park Minji from team one is already crying. Girl! I mean, I would be too. I would cry from the second I arrived until about a month after I’d been eliminated.

The voting results are:

Black team (win) Kim Hyun Ah 138 Murase Sae 138 Nakanishi Chiyori 48 Park Jieun 32 Park Minji 66 Average: 84.4

White team (lose) Cho Sarang 18 Choi Soeun 56 Miyazaki Miho 92 Murakawa Bibian 86 Shin Suhyun 88 Shinozaki Ayana 28

Average: 61.3

Neither Sae nor Hyunah can quite believe how many votes they got.

But I’m actually not surprised at all that Kim Hyunah and Murase Sae got so many votes. Both seemed perfectly suited for the song, in both look and attitude. I am a bit surprised about Miho’s 92 votes -- you guys, her vocals were really bad -- but she must have fans as a well-established member of AKB48. Poor Sarang got one of the worst vote tallies of the night, poor kid. This was just the wrong song for her.

Then they have to wait for their averages to pop up on screen, which is so funny to me.

Like, Sarang still seems optimistic that they’ll win, I think? But come on, the math is pretty obvious. Black team’s sum is higher even though they have fewer members. It seems clear that they won, and they did.

When the win is revealed, Minji just begins absolutely wailing.

The girls on the white team applaud lightly, and don’t seem to cry, but Minji is crying so hard her whole team has to try to calm her down. She’s crying with relief, of course, but it really shows how deep her emotional trauma is.

They really should have therapists on hand on this show, you know? Either that, or maybe try traumatizing them a little less. IDK.

We don’t really get a reaction from the white team. Guess they just disappeared from this plane of existence.

And with that, we’re at the end of this post! In the next one, we’ll cover the High Tension teams -- and see a girl named Huh Yunjin! See you then.

#bpr recaps p48 #produce 48 #akb48 #mamma mia #kara

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