Self-Indulgent Birthday Post
notes: Spoilers, probably. Yay, it's my birthday! Pay attention to meeee! Warning: this is just a junk drawer of a post. List of all recaps
Recap Recycle Bin
There are many, many recaps that for whatever reason remain unfinished. Here are some from the scrap basket.
My Villain Husband: Episode 1
This scene is extremely necessary for character development.
Can I just say how much I enjoy the way web dramas objectify the male body like this? Is it wrong? I don't know, but feel free to have that discourse with the wind, baby. In this house we have all the time in the world to watch a fit young specimen ladle water over his shoulders. This episode is 6min 35sec long and we spend 1min 03sec of it watching this guy pour dirty bathwater on himself- it’s a little thing called world-building, people.
The Lady in Butcher’s House: Episode 15
This drama was awful, and yet I watched the whole thing. Why? Because of the rare moments of redemption like this scene in episode 15 when Wang Ruo Lin (best known as world’s worst shifu Zhao Jing in Word of Honor), Tong Meng Shi (who is a good actor and doesn’t belong in this mess) and Ren Yu break character several times. You can absolutely tell they were cracking each other up, and because this show is so low budget, they just left it in.
Stop laughing, Xu Qing Jia; the prince is only trying to help!
The prince has the general kiss his collar and then quizzes the male lead on how to hide the evidence from his wife.
This drama also did one of my favorite things which is advocate for something totally unrelated to the story in a repeated and intrusive fashion. For this particular drama it was moxibustion and brushing your teeth.
Legend of Fei: Episode 45
Ah, as expected, the favorite game of a man with a giant metal hand that looks like a foam rubber Hulk arm that was painted silver.
Sometimes When We Touch: Episode 1
White Impermanence Ghost is rocking a breezy high fashion look in this modern Taiwanese drama about life, death, and outsourcing the afterlife to the local university’s Supernatural Society.
Hikaru No Go: American Style
My version is set in Cleveland and the ghost is a WWII vet who became a union steel mill worker after the war, the kid is a grad student at Case Western and the name of the game is euchre! However, not sure if anyone who isn’t Great Lakes adjacent will find this interesting.
Mirror: A Tale of Two Cities: Episode 1
Maybe my understanding of fantasy creatures is lacking, but I always thought that merpeople lived in the water or as paintings on the bedroom walls of 7-year-olds. In this drama, for reasons unknown, they seem to live on desolate and snowy mountain plains. Even Novoland Pearl Eclipse managed to get the merpeople in the water.
Love and Redemption: Episode 6
“Sandra, call my girl and see if she can fit me in- I broke a nail!”
Superlatives
Favorite Douyin To Watch Over and Over 🐸 tiny frog! (thanks @rongzhi)
Novel I Liked Much More Than I Expected To: Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir
trashman forever! (thanks @dangermousie )
Movie That Came Out of Nowhere To Steal My Soul: Tokyo Revengers (thanks @storge)
Still My Favorite Drama, 3rd Year in a Row: Bloody Romance
“this soup tastes like the woman who raised me!”
Favorite Episode Recap (series):
27 & 28 of Jun Jiuling. It just went totally off the rails.
Favorite Episode Recap (Just the First Episode):
Legend of Exorcism
fellas, is it gay? (it is. it is so gay. how is this not more popular?)
#1 DILF:
Shen Shen (thanks @baichoufeis)
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The Deaths of Button House
Being herewith a complete and chronological collection of the upstairs deaths at Button House and its grounds.
Featuring obligatory live-action footage...
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Button House Aesthetic - Ghosts
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Things I want to see in series 5 of Ghosts:
Tell us Cap's name, PLEASE
How Kitty died
How the Captain died
More plague ghosts!
Maybe Jemima too? Are we feeling generous today?? (I understand that with how long the show has gone on for at this point that we'll probably have like an Esme situation where the actress has grown up and can't play the "never aging ghost" character anymore, but even just a mention of her would be great)
Mention of Mary please, that would be lovely, show us the ghosts remembering their friend
More Humphrey, he's amazing
BACKSTORIES
More silly shenanigans
Things I wouldn't mind seeing in series 5 of Ghosts, but it's not the end of the world if they aren't there:
Cap being more comfortable with telling people about his sexuality, even if it's just one person he tells (everyone at this point (apart from maybe a couple) knows already but it would be nice to see Cap finally say it out loud)
A crossover with US Ghosts
More talking about the history of the ghosts and Button House (don't overdo it guys)
Mini redemption of Julian? Maybe? He's trying but no one has seemed to really acknowledge it except maybe Pat sometimes?? Either way, if he stays the way he is I'll be happy with it bc we need at least one character to be the abrasive square :)
Baby Cooper
Things I DO NOT want to see in series 5 of Ghosts:
Everyone getting slowly sucked off one by one
Everyone getting sucked off together at the end
Alison and Mike moving out bc money troubles or smth
Off-screen removal of the plague ghosts, let them have their time to shine
Ok, I'm done. Let me know what you agree with, disagree with or if you have anything to add to my lists! :D
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A Dream of Splendor ~ Find someone who listen to you like Pan’er
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What if the ghosts cannot leave because the surrounding grounds are property of Barclay? Because he or his ascendents put some kind of “magical” barrier
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Some new members of the children's wing 🤭 Juliet, Gillian, and Laurel
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TOP 10
Past Lives
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Poor Things
Oppenheimer
Barbie
BlackBerry
The Holdovers
The Iron Claw
Killers of the Flower Moon
MY LETTERBOXD
Grade A
11. The Killer
12. Beau Is Afraid
13. Dream Scenario
14. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
15. Godzilla Minus One
16. American Fiction
17. They Cloned Tyrone
18. Evil Dead Rise
19. Eileen
20. The Artifice Girl
21. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
22. Talk to Me
23. Reality
24. Leave the World Behind
25. A Thousand and One
26. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
27. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
28. Theater Camp
29. Carmen
30. Merry Little Batman
31. Priscilla
32. Society of the Snow
33. Infinity Pool
34. Enys Men
35. Sanctuary
36. Rye Lane
37. Skinamarink
38. Monster
39. Anatomy of a Fall
40. Landscape with Invisible Hand
41. Reptile
42. Sisu
43. Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game
44. No One Will Save You
45. Tetris
46. May December
47. The Zone of Interest
48. V/H/S/85
49. Dumb Money
50. El Conde
51. Arnold
52. Maestro
53. Napoleon
54. 20 Days in Mariupol
55. Influencer
56. The Creator
57. Origin
58. Thanksgiving
59. Next Goal Wins
60. The Boy and the Heron
61. Bottoms
62. Wonka
[Press Keep Reading For The Full Graded List]
Grade B
63. God Is a Bullet
64. No Hard Feelings
65. Joy Ride
66. Fair Play
67. Cocaine Bear
68. NYAD
69. Asteroid City
70. Nowhere
71. The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster
72. Divinity
73. The Equalizer 3
74. The Last Voyage of the Demeter
75. Venus
76. Butcher’s Crossing
77. Somewhere in Queens
78. The Persian Version
79. Boston Strangler
80. Polite Society
81. Miguel Wants to Fight
82. The Color Purple
83. The Royal Hotel
84. Saw X
85. All of Us Strangers
86. Fallen Leaves
87. Ferrari
88. Elemental
89. Peter Pan & Wendy
90. Renfield
91. Cat Person
92. Scream VI
93. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
94. BS High
95. Blue Beetle
96. Huesera: The Bone Woman
97. When Evil Lurks
98. Dark Harvest
99. A Good Person
100. Final Cut
101. Knock at the Cabin
102. Quiz Lady
103. Leo
104. Air
105. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
106. Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham
107. John Wick: Chapter 4
108. Beaten to Death
109. The Wrath of Becky
110. Passages
111. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
112. Gran Turismo
113. 65
114. Sick
115. Sister Death
116. The Blackening
117. Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain
118. Flamin’ Hot
119. Nimona
120. Cobweb
121. Totally Killer
122. What’s Love Got to Do with It?
123. Sharper
124. Unseen
125. Dunki
126. Bird Box Barcelona
127. The Marvels
128. Shazam! Fury of the Gods
Grade C
129. Wildflower
130. Freelance
131. M3GAN
132. Strays
133. Sympathy for the Devil
134. Creed III
135. Chevalier
136. The Marsh King’s Daughter
137. A Haunting in Venice
138. The Little Mermaid
139. Silent Night
140. Master Gardener
141. The Flash
142. Fast X
143. The Pope’s Exorcist
144. Saltburn
145. Kandahar
146. Stand
147. Plane
148. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
149. Fingernails
150. Quicksand
151. Fool’s Paradise
152. Migration
153. Rustin
154. The Covenant
155. Good Burger 2
156. The Pod Generation
157. Alice, Darling
158. Insidious: The Red Door
159. Missing
160. Shotgun Wedding
161. You Hurt My Feelings
162. The Boogeyman
163. Showing Up
164. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
165. Champions
166. Consecration
167. The Nun II
168. Biosphere
169. House Party
170. The Exorcist: Believer
171. Big George Foreman
172. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
173. Children of the Corn
174. The Beanie Bubble
175. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
Grade F
176. Anyone But You
177. Marlowe
178. Paint
179. Extraction 2
180. It Lives Inside
181. Deliver Us
182. Trolls Band Together
183. Finestkind
184. Corner Office
185. Wish
186. Prisoner’s Daughter
187. Pain Hustlers
188. Foe
189. The Mother
190. Old Dads
191. Ghosted
192. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken
193. Haunted Mansion
194. Mafia Mamma
195. Five Nights at Freddy’s
196. The Machine
197. Justice League: Warworld
198. We Have a Ghost
199. What Comes Around
200. Legion of Super-Heroes
201. The Boys in the Boat
202. Attachment
203. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
204. About My Father
205. You People
206. Meg 2: The Trench
207. Pathaan
208. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire
209. Assassin
210. Dalíland
211. Vacation Friends 2
Bottom 10
212. Sound of Freedom
213. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
214. When You Finish Saving The World
215. Heart of Stone
216. Family Switch
217. Expend4bles
218. Sweetwater
219. Hypnotic
220. 80 for Brady
221. Spinning Gold
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texas heat
Thomas Hewitt x fem!reader
Warning: smut! minors dni!!!
Summary: basically a smut with a plot
Sweat broke on your forehead as you wiped it still half asleep. It was terribly hot to even rest. As your eyes opened and started to adjust to the darkness around you, thoughts about the whole situation were still fresh in your mind. How long has it been? You thought to yourself. A few months maybe? 4? 5?
You stopped counting the days after the first few weeks. What for anyway? It wasn’t like you were ever leaving.
***
“Come on boys! We are completely lost!” your friend spoke, gesturing with her hands.
“It’s fine! It’s all good. A little detour” the driver laughed without a care in the world.
“That’s right Sam! Stop being so difficult. Look, Y/N isn’t saying anything” the other guy talked from the passenger’s seat.
At the mention of your name, you looked up from your book, and then quickly got back to it. You weren’t actually reading, but they weren’t paying attention to that. If they did, they would’ve seen you didn’t turn any page in the last 5 minutes. Pretending was just a good excuse to be out of this circus of conversation.
You didn’t consider any of them your friends. And you were sure they didn’t think of you as that either. They were Sam’s friends. And Sam was your friend out of convenience, just as you were to her. You wanted to travel, and she didn’t want to be the only girl on the trip.
“Come on Y/N!” Sam started “whose side are you on?”
“Maybe we should stop and ask for directions” you finally raised a point.
“Yeah? And where the fuck would we stop for that?” the driver asked “there is nothing around here!”
A sigh escaped your lips and you finally put the book down, looking out the window. Then, suddenly, you pressed your finger on the window, gesturing in the distance “there, it looks like a house”.
Little did any of you know this was the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life.
***
Rubbing your eyes, you looked at the little clock on your nightstand. 11:30 pm it said. It wasn’t that late, yet you couldn’t remember when you fell asleep. Realistically, the only one still awake was Thomas. The thought of that made you freeze in place. Oh yes, you thought to yourself again the summer isn’t the only reason I can’t sleep.
Another sigh left your lips. You didn’t think you would end up in this situation. Spared by a bunch of cannibals for the sole reason you smacked the driver when he started insulting Thomas.
***
“Hello?” the driver’s friend… Jason? Jack? Jeremy? J something. You couldn’t remember. Your name memory was never your strongest suit.
“Hello?” J began knocking again. And a second time. Just before knocking for a 3rd time, a woman opened the door.
“Yes? Who are you?” she spoke.
“Oh hello ma’am!” Sam approached “we are completely lost. We were wondering if you could give us any directions”
Luda Mae looked all of you up and down before speaking “come inside. You will die of the heat before you get any directions”
The boys looked at each other and you looked at Sam. But ultimately decided to follow the lady inside.
***
The memories were still fresh and you were sure they would be for the rest of your life. As you lay on your back, looking around the room, you felt your heart skip a beat as another thought made itself apparent. Thomas. Or better said. Your crush on Thomas. In the past month or so, you tried your best to get close to him. You offered to help with everything and anything he needed. Yet, he did his best to avoid you. You weren’t dumb, you knew exactly why. He was absolutely terrified at the idea you’re just fucking around. Lying. Being nice to him so he wouldn’t kill you.
“For fucks sake Thomas. I was nice to you even before I knew you butchered people for a living” you whispered yelled alone, in your room.
***
“So kids, how did you end up here?” Luda Mae asked, trying to see if you would make a good addition to the Hewitt meat supply. Were you going somewhere? Was someone important waiting for you? What was the chance of people coming to look for you? Those were important questions that needed answers. They couldn’t risk killing someone that could potentially lead the police to them.
As the conversation was unfolding, the driver and J became more and more impatient to leave, and your head cocked when hearing some footsteps. Before you realized it, this massive man was sitting in the doorway, breathing heavily, not saying a word.
“Oh Tommy! Look! We have guests” Luda Mae said, looking at her son. Thomas was tall, a huge man, his apron covered in blood.
“Oh fuck! What the fuck is that? He looks like—” the driver said but didn’t get to finish whatever insults he was going to spew because you smacked him.
“Just shut up. For once. Not everything revolves around you and your daddy’s money. You can’t just speak this way to people” you said, while he looked you completely shocked. No one has ever dared speak to him that way. Let alone slap him.
And that was the moment Luda Mae decided you would be the only one left alive.
***
The floor was cooler than the bed. You stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror. It was so dark you could barely see, only managing to make out your silhouette. You stood there for a while, thinking of what you should do.
You liked Thomas from the moment you saw him. You tried to befriend him but all he did was ignore you. On the occasions he actually had to interact with you, he looked so tense, like he was on the verge of exploding. You tried to give him space, but it wasn’t really helping. And now you were pacing around your room, unable to sleep because all you wanted was Thomas. The man who killed your “friends”.
What the fuck is wrong with me… he’s a murderer, his whole family is crazy.
Yes and so are you. I mean, you’re not running. You think he’s hot. This man could dismember you in a heartbeat and you think he is attractive. Talk about fucked up.
You frowned at your own thoughts. Thomas wasn’t a monster. He did what he had to. Yet what was your excuse? Falling for him?
Your heart started racing. Yes, you were falling for him.
After what seemed like an eternity, you went out of your room, down the stairs and into the living room. You stopped in front of the basement stairs and listened. Thomas was definitely still down there and it was now or never.
In the basement Thomas was still butchering some meat, not hearing you walk in over the sound of his cleaver. He didn’t like you coming there, he always thought you would judge him, mock him even.
“Thomas” you spoke, your voice making him stop with the cleaver still in the air. He lowered it and turned to you, not saying anything.
“It’s late Thomas. Maybe you should call it a day” you spoke softly, almost afraid to startle him.
You didn’t get a response. Then, he just turned around and continued what he was doing.
This made you frown and it hurt a little. Maybe he was not liking you as much as you liked him. Maybe he didn’t like you at all. However this couldn’t be further from the truth. He did like you. A lot. Which is why he was so scared to be around you.
You bit your lip, a little too hard, and decided to approach him. The second your hand touched his arm, Thomas completely froze. His body was incredibly tense and all he managed to do was look at you.
“Did I do something to upset you?” you tilted your head “you always seem to ignore me. I’m sorry if I upset you at all”.
Thomas’s wide widened. You were apologizing to him? What for? You thought he was mad at you? But how could he? He grunted back at you. In the beginning it was very difficult to understand him, but now you could make up the words he was saying. He said no.
“Well then what is it?” you pressed him, gently rubbing his arm. His eyes looked like they could come out of his head, immediately shifting his gaze away from you, almost shaking.
“Thomas, Tommy, oh no” you reached for his other hand which was still tight around the cleaver. Gesturing for him to let it go, you managed to turn him so he’d face you. “You’re ok. Everything is ok” you said, looking at him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. I’m sorry. I will go upstairs” you gave him a bit of a sad smile and turned to walk away. Yet, you didn’t get to take two steps before he stopped you. As you turned to him, he gave you another grunt. Stay. This one meant stay.
Both of you were blushing. Your brave girl facade paled the moment you felt his hand around your arm. Compared to him, you were incredibly tiny and for that, he treated you as if you were made of glass. Because to him, you were.
You stepped in front of him, both of you looking at each other. You learned to be gentle with him, maybe even more gentle than he was with you. Because unlike you, he never had people not be terrified of him.
Smiling, you cupped his face in your hands, which caught him off guard, but he didn’t stop you. For whatever reason, you were here, you didn’t try to run away, and you were kind to him. Before he knew it, he was leaning into your touch.
“Tommy?”
He opened his eyes, waiting for you to continue.
“I really like you, Thomas”
His now open eyes were widened, staring at you, almost looking through you, waiting to see any shred of dishonesty. But there was none. You were genuine. He then couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with you. How could you like him? No. He didn’t care. You liked him. And he was going to take it.
He didn’t realize some time passed without giving you an answer, which caused you to mumble another apology. He, however, didn’t let you finish. You soon found yourself in a hug. A very tight hug. Which you happily reciprocated.
After pulling away, you both looked at each other and without much of a second thought, you pulled the other into a kiss. It was reckless and full of built up frustrations on both parts. You were the first to pull away.
“Thomas.. it’s difficult to kiss you with that mask on”
He didn’t say anything and looked away. He didn’t want to show you. There was finally something he had and showing you his face might ruin it. He grunted a no.
“Please..” you pleaded while cupping his face again.
He damned himself for being so weak around you. You looked sad and a little disappointed. He let out a huge sigh and slowly took off his mask, letting it fall on the floor and completely avoiding your gaze. Whatever disgusted face you made, he didn’t want to see. Only if he looked to see it was not disgust but love.
“Fuck me you’re handsome” was all you said before pulling him in and kissing him again. He looked like a deer in headlights, but quickly melted into your kiss, picking you up and placing you on his workbench.
Your legs were wrapped around him, your hands pulling at his hair while he was tightly holding you by your waist. You felt his erection press against you, so you pushed yourself closer to him, which caused Thomas to grunt and moan into the kiss.
Thomas was the one to pull away this time, spending some time admiring you. Slowly, you started to unbutton his shirt “you can help me with mine if you want” you said a little flustered.
He didn’t need to be told twice. Once you felt his excitement, you knew Thomas was coming out of his shell. Soon enough yours and his shirts were thrown on the floor, and you were making out on the cold and hard workbench. You didn’t care, you also didn’t care that his grips wound leave bruises. You just wanted him. He cupped your breast, gently squeezing, earning himself a moan from you and the confirmation that he is doing it right.
“Please Tommy” you whined between kisses, tugging at his belt.
He wanted to so bad. But what if he hurt you? He had no what what he was doing. But how could he resist you? His whole body was shaking, you were begging him to have sex with you. Him. He pulled away from the kiss and quickly undid his belt and pants, making himself moan as he pulled his cock out. Your heart skipped a beat seeing Thomas naked in front of you. You look off your underwear and pull him into another kiss.
You didn’t think much before starting to palm his length, causing him to moan into your mouth. Thomas started thrusting as you were stroking him. He could cum just like that, but you wanted more. And he did too.
As your back rested on the cold table, Thomas climbed on top of you, neither daring to break the kiss. You couldn’t even wrap your legs around him, a detail he found really cute. He pulled away from the kiss only to look at your expression again. Was this really ok? Is this really what you wanted? You looked so beautiful and so turned on. Rubbing yourself against his erection was all the confirmation he needed before slowly starting to push his cock into you.
Feeling him inside you completely knocked the air out of you, immediately kissing him again, moaning into his mouth. Your figure, your voice, your shaking body were making Thomas go feral. His grunts on the other hand made your whole stomach feel hot. Thomas was thrusting into you, firmly holding your waist with one hand and supporting himself up with the other. Your arms were wrapped around his back, face buried into his neck, trying to muffle your moans.
He was hitting all the right spots, causing your mind to go blank and your nails to dig into his skin. Once his voice became shakier, you knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.
“Oh fuck…” you moaned and he responded by thrusting even harder. It was almost as if your every moan was making Thomas go more feral.
His rhythm was becoming more erratic, signaling that he was getting closer.
“It ok Tommy” you said between moans “I want you. Fill me up, please Tommy”.
Saying that was enough to push him over the edge. After a few more thrusts he came with a low, guttural moan, completely intoxicated by you.
You were both panting and looking at each other afterward. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Were you a dream? No. You were there, smiling at him. Did that mean you were his now? Yes. Most definitely.
He picked you up off of the table, squeezing you close to him. He was still panting and so were you, yet, both happy and finally content.
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Gossip between Father and Daughter – Father!Alastor x Daughter!Reader
A/N: I decided to do this Oneshot/Headcanon for both, alive!Alastor x daughter!Reader and Demon!Alastor x Daughter!Reader. Enjoy ! (Picture belongs to rightful owner !)
TAGLIST!: @meg-giry1 @wen01203
WARNING!: mentions of the S word, name calling, insults, mentions of cheating, Vox and the other Vees get bullied in public AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!
Human!Dad!Alastor x Human!Daughter!Reader:
When you start to talk about new Gossip:
Alastor was cooking Dinner as suddenly you bashed open the door, scaring the living daylights out of your Father. He quickly looked at you and made a face to scold you.
“Mon ange (My Angel), are you planning to give your dear ol’ Father a heart attack ?”
You ignored his scolding and gave him a big grin with a twinkle in your eyes. Alastor got intrigued.
“You will NEVER believe what I’ve heard, Papa ! That is some interesting tea indeed !”, you announced happily.
Your Father cocked his head to the side in curiosity, his smile not leaving, but it shrunk in curiosity and confusion.
“Oh ? What happened, Cher ?”
You entered the kitchen fully, pulled out a chair, sat down and looked at him.
“You do know Felicia Monrue, right ? You reported about her last week in your Broadcast, because she got caught drunk, even though there was no giggle water (Alcohol) allowed and she had to pay a hefty debt as punishment.”
“Ah...yes, I do remember her indeed. Hoho ! Such a gal getting caught.”, Alastor laughed out in humor, “Couldn’t even hold her own liquor, hahaha !”
You nodded eagerly.
“Well guess what !”
“What is it, mon petit (Little one) ?”
You looked around the house, as if anyone was listening in, then bounced and gave him a big mischievous smirk.
“Rumors have it, that she was spotted a few times with different men on her arm. She brought them home and someone heard lewd noises, while one of her neighbors swore they saw her and the different men in her bedroom, doing the forbidden act ! Can you believe it ?!”
Alastor took a sip of water, which he promptly spat out in shock, as you said that. He stared at you, then looked at his glass of water, then at the food he was cooking, then back to you and back at his drink.
“Am I sure that I am drinking water right now ?”, he muttered in shock.
“You are, Papa ! Stop being so silly !”, you replied laughing.
He looked at you again.
“You aren’t talking nonsense, right, Dear ? That poor Lady surely could never do such a scandalous thing.”
You shook your head.
“I really heard it, from more than one person too ! It already goes around like wildfire, Papa ! One even said that they have a picture of it ! If this gets out into the newspaper, her clothes store will shut down forever !”
Your Father shook his head and looked at his food, sighing in disappointment.
“Such a fine Dame and no class... Didn’t her parents teach her any manners ? How scandalous !”
You shrugged your shoulders and gave him a grin.
“Maybe it is just a faux, Papa, but it would be entertaining if it was true ! Don’t you agree ?”
“It sure would be, Cher. Anything else you heard rumors about, hmm ?”, your Father asked you amused.
“Oh ! There are new rumors about the Bayou Killer too.”
“Oh, do let me know ! I’d LOVE to hear their theories !”, your Father said enthusiastically.
“Some speculate now that it is a butcher and others that it is a doctor ! How ridiculous is that ?!”, you said laughing.
For a second the kitchen was silent and then Alastor broke out into laughter and he shook his head.
“A-a WHAT now ?! Hahahaha !”
Alastor laughed so hard that he wiped a tear away from his right eye. You looked at your Father in amusement.
“Stupid, isn’t it ? They really think you are a Doctor or even a Butcher ! I mean...you kind of are a Butcher, but at the same time, you are not !”
Alastor snorted in amusement and continued to cook Dinner, while you told him all the Gossip you heard and he discussed it all with you, happy to listen to anything you heard.
When Alastor starts to talk about new Gossip:
You were just returning from a quick shopping spree with some groceries as you saw your Father with a huge mischievous grin on his face. He took a few bags from you and you both started to fill the kitchen cabinets and fridge with your catches that you got from the stores.
You knew that glint in your Father’s eyes. He heard something scandalous and amusing. You couldn’t wait.
As soon as you both finished, you entered the Living room and sat down on the couch, your Father sat down in the armchair.
“Alright, Dad, spill the tea. What rumors have you heard, hmm ?”, you pressed.
Alastor looked at you with one of his hugest smiles and started to chuckle.
“Do you remember Gwen Kosiak from my workplace, who quit his job not long ago ?”, your Father asked you.
“Yes. Why ?”
“Well my dear child, he was married and they seemed happy. Suddenly they divorced out of nowhere. Rumors have it that he cheated on his wife with the housemaid !”
You covered your mouth in shock.
“No way !”, you gasped out.
“Yes indeedy !”
You started to let out a chuckle.
“I would have never expected that from Gwen.”
“Me neither, Cher ! Me neither !”
You both chuckled and as it calmed down, your Father smirked.
“There has also been the rumor going around that the dress shop, you love to visit so frequently, is going bankrupt, because the owner of the store refuses to pay the rent !”
You stared at your Father gob smacked.
“Seriously ?”
All your Father did was nod.
“Indeedy !”
You leaned back in shock, then your face saddened.
“A real shame, guess I should look for a new favorite dress store then.”, you muttered.
“You definitely should, Cher !”, Alastor encouraged.
You could see that he wasn’t finished yet, so you waited for him to start the next section of discussion to gossip about.
“Also, Mrs. Tiana gave birth to her and her husband’s offspring ! The spawn looks nothing like them ! Hahaha !”
“You don’t think that she was going behind her husband’s back, do you ?”
“I think she was, Cher !”
“My, how scandalous ! Was it truly that bad ?”
“The child didn’t have their skin color, nor their hair color ! The child’s skin color was almost like mine and the hair was ginger ! Both of them were white and one had blond hair while the other had black hair. They both said that none in their Family tree had a different skin color, nor ginger hair ! So it just can’t be his offspring.”
You covered your mouth in shock.
“I never would have thought of Mrs. Tiana as a harlot.”, you muttered.
“None of us did, mon Cher ! Yet, here we are !”
The two of you continued to gossip and talk about rumors for a while. Alastor was always happy to listen, theorize with you and to talk about everything. He was almost like a woman, chattering about all the scoundrels that were talked about and you LOVED your Dad for that. He was practically both to you. A Mother and a Father. You never lacked anything.
In Hell:
When you start gossip:
Your Father was just about to wrap up his Broadcast in Hell, as you stormed inside. He looked at you startled, his Deer ears standing on high alert. As soon as he saw you, he rolled his eyes gently, scolding himself in his thoughts, that he got scared of you.
“Father, guess what !”, you announced happily.
Oh, he knew by that voice that you heard some gossip. He turned to you, leaving his broadcast on for now.
“What is it, Cher ?”, he asked.
“I heard some interesting tea about the Vees ! Wanna hear it ?!”
He perked up and looked at you highly interested. He snapped another chair into existence next to him and gestured for you to sit down. You did so eagerly.
“Now, what was that, Cher ?”, he asked, interested.
You were bouncing up and down on your chair.
“So, apparently Valentino and Vox are in a on and off relationship, just to screw each other, when Valentino’s harlots are too busy ! How desperate is that, Papa ?! Hahaha !”
Alastor, who sipped his black coffee, spat it back out and coughed into his sleeve from shock. Then he chuckled.
“That sounds pathetically desperate ! Hahaha ! I never thought that Vox would sink even lower than he already did !”, your Father laughed out.
“I didn’t know that Valentino was so depraved and pathetically desperate that he even fucks his own harlots ! Hahaha ! That just shows how unwanted he is !”, you laughed out.
“True, true, my Dear !”
“Oh, oh ! And have you heard that the Demon, Velvet dated, broke up with her ?!”
“Applesauce, mon petit !”, he yelled in fake shock.
“It’s true, Papa ! They apparently were dining in a restaurant and suddenly the man said that he is dumping her ass, then left the restaurant without paying too ! She left it, looking like a mess ! I bet the other two Vees had to coddle her to make it better ! HA ! How fucking pathetic for an Overlord !”
Alastor laughed loudly at that and petted your head, affectionately.
“Also, Vox tried to copy your Radio Station to make Radio Broadcasts himself, to grow bigger ! Can you believe how desperate that flat faced idiot is ?! Hahaha !”
“Is that so, Cher ?”, Alastor said partly amused, partly triggered.
“He tried to hide it from you too ! Sadly someone from his team snitched ! Hahahaha !”, you confirmed with laughter.
“Hmmm. Interesting indeed, Cher !”
“Also, some guests in Valentino’s porn clubs said that the hygiene in the bathrooms, of all the clubs, are so nasty that no one even wants to take a dump there ! Hahaha ! That insect is destroying his own image !”, you cackled out.
Alastor laughed at that.
“Well, what did you expect from a moth, Cher ? That they are clean ?”
“You would think his business and his employees means something to him, but it seems it wants to go broke soon enough !”
Alastor just chuckled and already planned how to teach Vox a lesson, for trying to take over Radio, HIS specialty.
The Broadcast went 30 minutes longer, discussing and gossiping about the Vees mostly.
After they finished their Broadcast, they saw that all of Pentagram City had a blackout. Welp, they fried Vox then with the other two Vees.
When Alastor starts gossip:
You both visited Rosie, just to catch up a bit and that was where everything went down. From a small pleasant exchange of how you all three have been, it turned into gossiping.
“My Dear, you have to be pulling our legs.”, Alastor accused Rosie in disbelief.
“I am not, Al ! I promise ya ! He really tried to eat her !”, Rosie insisted.
You just laughed and ate another finger that Rosie offered. You rarely did eat her treats that she offered, but today you were fine with it. Rosie knew about your picky diet swings, so she never felt insulted.
“What about you, Dear ? Any interesting gossip ?”, Rosie asked you.
“Oh quite some interesting ones, indeed !”, you replied.
“Oh do spill the tea, Dearie !”, Rosie said in excitement.
“Well, I heard that Zestial had three Sons and they are all down here. They say that Zestial hid them from everyone, because they are not very strong and he is ashamed of them.”
“Oh my...”, Rosie said in shock and intrigue.
Alastor was in slight shock and very interested in it.
“I will ask Zest about it tomorrow. After all we are supposed to meet up at Carmilla’s tomorrow. He is always there.”, you told her.
“Oh please do ask him ! I would love to know if these rumors are true !”
Then she turned to Alastor.
“And you, my friend ? What did you catch ?”
Alastor chuckled.
“A lot of people are starting to question Queen Lilith’s absence. Many say that she made a Deal with the Holy Gates. Others say that she got exterminated.”
“Hah ! As if anyone could kill our Queen ! She would NEVER agree to make a Deal with the Angels either ! How silly !”
Alastor chuckled and nodded, agreeing with Rosie, while you just shook your head in amusement.
“Also, it was rumored that Overlord Missi Zilla was seen with a lowlife Sinner, getting a bit steamy in an alley way.”
“No way !”, Rosie and you yelled.
“Yes, yes, indeedy !”, Alastor insisted.
Rosie leaned back.
“Oh my stars...”, she muttered.
“Who do you think it was ?”, you asked the two other Overlords.
“All I have heard was that the Demon Sinner was a bull. There was nothing else.”, Alastor chimed in.
“As if Missi would stoop that low.”, you scoffed.
“You never know, my Dear !”
And the gossip with Rosie and Alastor would continue for a long while, while you chimed in and shared your own gossip. You saw Rosie like a Mother figure and your Father didn’t mind it a bit. He was glad you liked Rosie.
You three Overlords would gossip for hours.
Alastor is a HUGE fan of gossip. You never know what interesting information you will hear, after all.
He would gossip with you, his beloved Daughter, like women would gossip amongst each other.
He would try and see if you were pulling his leg or not, but most of the times you were serious.
As soon as he got interesting gossip, he would immediately sit down with you and share, loving to bond with you over simple gossip.
He would always share a few laughs with you here and there.
He loves it when you have gossip/information about his enemies/victims. Somehow you just KNEW where and how to get the interesting tea ! He couldn’t be prouder !
He would never shut you down if you wanted to gossip with him. He would always listen and throw in his input/opinion on the matters discussed.
He is the perfect person to gossip with and so are you and Rosie.
I hope I hit the mark with this ! ^^'
(Words: 2 605)
Masterlist HERE !
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Little Bit of Food
Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: Y/N sees a TikTok video of couple where the women serves her partner more food on his plate than on hers. For research purposes, she just wants to see how he would react.
Warning: no translated Spanish, spelling and grammar errors, SHORT
A/N: since I am Mexican and Peruvian, the foods mentioned are typical foods that I grew up eating, I LOVE these foods so much, if any other Latine readers have suggestions of what dishes should be mentioned, comment below and I’ll tag you when I use them in another one shot. Also, sorry if it’s short, I don’t think I can build off a lot of “story material” over a TikTok trend, you know?
Y/N was watching TikTok and she saw a video that was interesting to her.
It was of a couple and a woman served her husband more food on his plate than on her own. The husband insisted that his wife should have more food and that he could eat something later.
Y/N knew that Henry was going to busy at the gym for a few hours so that gave her plenty of time to make one of Henry’s favorite meals that Y/N introduced him to, and that’s bistec a lo pobre. She bought sliced New York steaks from the Mexican grocery store (there’s always a butcher there), also some tortillas and 2 avocados to make guacamole or a sandwich later. When she went back to Henry’s house, she started cutting up tomatoes and onions so it would give the steak flavor. She put the onions and tomatoes aside in a bowl and got out the white rice in the pantry to wash the rice.
Half an hour later, Henry was came through the door sweaty and with a happy Kal.
“Ay hola, Kal, como te fue con tu papi, hm?” Y/N asked, kneeling to pet Kal.
“You call me papi?” Henry asked, drinking water from his sports bottle.
“When I’m talking about you to Kal, yes. Ain’t no way I’m calling you that though, it’s weird because I call my actual dad, papi. So don’t even think about it.” Y/N warned Henry as she washed her hands in the kitchen sink.
“Too late, I’m already thinking about, my lady.” Henry said, kissing her cheek as he hugged her from behind.
“Stop it. I’m making your favorite so please take a quick shower and then I’ll call you when it’s ready. Do you want one or two eggs?” Y/N asked.
“Two please, thanks love.” Henry said, kissing her lips before heading upstairs for his shower.
Y/N began sautéing the onions and tomatoes in the pan before adding in two pieces of steak for Henry, we’ll, one and a half, she cut a half piece for her plate. She got a plate out of the pantry to serve two ‘scoops’ of rice, adding the cooked steaks with tomatoes and onions on top of it, and preceded to fry two eggs on a different pan.
“Toro, food!” Y/N shouted and Kal calming running. “I said ‘toro’, not ‘oso’, you need to practice your Spanish, Kal.” Y/N said and placed Henry’s plate on his side of the table. Henry came running downstairs with his hair wet but he’s dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt.
“Thanks love, it looks amazing.” Henry said, kissing her.
“That’s good, now eat up, you’ve had a long workout.” Y/N said and that’s when she got a smaller plate, served herself a half scoop of rice, her half steak with 3 pieces of tomatoes and onions, and no eggs. When she sat down and said “let’s eat”, Henry looked at Y/N’s plate, then at his own.
“Darling, were you snacking while you were cooking again?” Henry asked, trying to find a reasonable explanation for the lack of food on his girlfriend’s plate.
“No, no, I didn’t snack at all. Eat before the eggs become cold.” Y/N pointed at him with her fork.
“Are you sick? You didn’t have to cook if you weren’t feeling well, love.” Henry said in a concerned voice.
“I’m fine Henry, I went to Fernando’s market today but the steak was too expensive so I only bought 2.” Y/N lied, she buys like half a pound of steak, there’s still 3 or 4 pieces in the fridge. Henry got up and grabbed his keys. “Where are you going?”
“To the market to buy more steak, what cut do you order a again? Med-ee-ya Libra de what?” Henry asked, opening the door,
“No no no, Henry, there’s no need for that, I can survive without bistec, please sit down and eat.” Y/N said, Henry closed the door, put down his keys, and sat back down.
“What about the eggs or the rice? I’m sure you could fill up on that, you told me you ate that when you were younger when there was nothing to eat.” Henry said.
“The last eggs were used on you, Toro. Now please eat before your food gets cold. You want something to drink? I got chicha (It’s a purple corn drink) if you don’t want soda.” Y/N said.
“Yeah, that’s fine, darling.” Henry said, when Y/N walked into the kitchen, Henry switched his plate for Y/N’s. When Y/N came back with chicha for Henry and soda for her, she saw what Henry did.
“Toro! You weren’t supposed to do that. You had a big workout, you’re bigger than me, you need all the protein you can get from this.” Y/N said, trying to switch the plates back but Henry refused.
“Nope, you cooked all this, you deserve to eat your delicious food. I could find something later.” Henry said,
“But you must be hungry, just eat it, I can make myself some potato quesadillas later.” Y/N said, attempting to get the plate back from Henry but he swatted her hand. “Toro!”
“I’m sorry love, but it’s for your good.” Henry said.
“I Don’t want you to be starving,” Y/N said,
“I won’t starve, my love. Watching you enjoy your food is filling enough for me.” Henry said and Y/N’s heart melted. She got out of her seat to sit on Henry’s lag, placing her hands on his neck to hug him.
“Amor, it’s a prank. There’s more steak in the fridge that I can fry up, there’s a lot of rice on the stove and plenty of eggs. Now please eat while I go serve myself more food.” Y/N said getting off him and grabbing her plate to do exactly that.
“You scared me, love. I was about to head over to the market…where is it by the way?” Henry asked,
“Haha, i can’t even tell you, I just know how to get there.” Y/N said, placing her steak in the pan and she watched Henry eat his meal.
“Delicious! This might even be better than your bistec empanado, did I pronounce that right?” Henry asked,
“Yes you did, Toro, but bistec empanado with sopita aguada is comfort food, along with quesadilla de papas, which I will be making tomorrow, I’ve been craving it,” Y/N said.
“That sounds so good, I have to make sure I work out even more. When I made you my girlfriend, I had no idea you would try to fatten me up.” Henry said and Y/N gasped, flipping the steak.
“I would never, how dare you accuse me. I’m gonna make flan for my friend’s birthday on Saturday so I’m gonna make another one just for us.” Y/N said and that made Henry laugh.
“I love your flan, darling. Your cooking skills put mine to shame.” Henry said. Y/N placed her steak on her place, serving more rice, and began frying an egg.
“I was born with that sazón, Toro.” Y/N said teasingly. She finished frying the egg, served it on her plate, and went to sit down. “Better?” Y/n asked, showing Henry her plate.
“Much better, my lady.” Henry said, kissing her. Kal barked. “Yes bear, you can have some steak too.” Henry said,
The End
Taglist: @warriormirkwood
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