I think I’m done.
I’ve written many posts about my experience as a doctor. Some of them are funny, some of them sad. Some of them poignant.
But I think I’m done being a doctor in the current public healthcare system where I live.
I’m a Family Medicine resident. I rotated through two and a half years of hosptial residencies, and I’m in my first year of clinic-only practice. It should sound good; no more 26-38 hour shifts on top of 12 hour workdays.
But I’m currently seeing 33-37 patients from 9-1 pm daily and 24 patients from 2-5 pm daily. I also sometimes work 6-10 pm. Each of these clinic sessions also includes a solid 1.5 inches of seperate lab results I’m expected to screen during consultation time. I work Monday through to half of Saturday. Im expected to also complete a dermatology university diploma on top of this. I have exams in family medicine this year, the year after that, and two years after. Three and a half years more at least until I’m a specialist.
I can’t do it. I can’t keep giving each patient only 5 minutes of time as I’m doing now. I didn’t become a doctor to have to balance whether I should see my patient’s third complaint or ask them to book another session so I can have time to pee and eat.
Peeing and eating is like…the lowest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I’ve spent all of my adult working years, from 23 years of age til now, chasing that. The right to pee and eat and drink.
The department head has his head so far up his ass with bootlicking the government that last quarter he pulled workforce away from chronic cases for half-full covid clinics and made us each therefore have to review 56 cases per four hour session. When we raised the issue of patient safety one of his associate consultants said, “I know it’s hard! Let’s get through this together!”
He is famed for picking on whether residents punctuate the numbering of their past medical history lists with brackets or periods.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
This afternoon between patients, I suddenly realised I had lost my voice. I’d been speaking too much. Moreover, I think my autistic brain had finally clicked over into the “dude you better go non verbal or you’ll die” function. Of course, I couldn’t actually afford to be non verbal. I plowed through the remaining cases so dissociated I nearly blacked out.
If I pass these next two years’ exams, I become senior resident. I will have the privilege of not being entrusted with 33 cases every four hours, but 40.
40 cases; all of them episodic patients, not chronic. This means all of them come in with new complaints, as in multiple. Time per patient gets knocked down to four minutes.
Respectfully, Fuck That.
I’m waiting until I get contract gratuity this summer, do the damn exam that everyone agrees is insane, and then I’ll apply to a plethora of private clinics in September and kiss this bloody department goodbye.
I want to be able to spend more than two minutes comforting a crying patient, dammit.
If I don’t leave soon I’ll break, and that’ll compromise patient safety over anything else.
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I'm thinking about post-canon stuff and I think ling and mei should be horrible besties once they're back in xing and ling has become emperor. they didn't really get the chance to interact or be siblings and I doubt they're close with any of their other half-siblings, but they both lived through the Weirdest Fucking Year Ever in amestris, during which mei became best friends with a serial killer and ling got possessed on purpose, and I think they should bond over it. I think this manifests in them driving each other insane in the way only siblings can. ling has annoying older brother baked into his bones and has never had anyone to direct that energy at, but now he steals food off her plate when she's not looking and teases her about her crush on alphonse as much as possible. mei is the only person allowed to make fun of the emperor to his face, and it scares the shit out of onlookers who don't know them every single time. she'll be like "your highness, you're being annoying. also you have food in your teeth." and everyone around them is like "oh my god the chang princess is going to get her ass executed" but ling just laughs at her. they're best friends.
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sometimes i wish i grew up loaded rich bc i totally would have done art school instead. when i was like 16 thinking abt college art was all i did. my parents always encouraged me to do art bc they felt i was good at it when i put in my time, but bc “u can’t make money out of it” they never wanted me doing art as a college career
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Discourse is one person proclaiming that terfism is rejected in favour of Marxist feminism in the third world and all terfs only exist in online spaces, then another person saying that terfism is the default mainstream feminist opinion and all other types exist only online with third world world women all being terfs and correctly so.
Neither of these people have ever met a trans person, a queer person, a poor person , a feminist, a Marxist, or a person from the third world in their lives outside of the internet.
Why?
Because they're both 15, white, and living in surburban Wisconsin.
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