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inkskinned · 9 months

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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luminarai · 4 days

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Attempting to get the beast used to a dental hygiene routine is… well, it’s going.

(She stayed that way for a solid 8 seconds despite hating being held belly up so I think it’s safe to say that Mim is not beating the ‘tiny speaker playing elevator music instead of a brain’ allegations any time soon.)

#cecil blogs her life #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #Mim the cat #cats on tumblr #cat art #comics #black cats #she’s actually pretty good about it normally - like she doesn’t enjoy it but she lets me do it without too many complaints #ofc I make sure to do it as quickly as possible and give her lots of dental friendly rewards lmao #she’s currently sleeping on top of me so I think I’m forgiven #I don’t believe she has any current dental issues so it’s mostly preventative #esp bc we don’t know exactly how old she is or what her life was like before I adopted her #this is probably seven different kinds of heretical but anyway #shout out to Tom my childhood priest who once told me not to take the bible literally after I asked him where the dinos were supposed to #fit into genesis. incredible. anyway I’m a non believing heathen now so meh #who cares #these tags are a RIDE wtf cecil

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months

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End of Empathy (time for violence)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #jin ling #lan sizhui #We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc.#I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't.#But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3 #Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute #but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it #like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.'#and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.'#'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe #The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die #XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed #plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong)#but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused #The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'

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arealtrashact · 1 year

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What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...

#Elvis Presley #I listened to a cover of Viva Las Vegas done in the style of a NIN song and it inspired me #my art #DID YOU KNOW? The TV set that Elvis famously shot with his .44 Magnum is still functional?#By some divine miracle the bullet missed any major wiring and (according to the Graceland Archives) if you were to plug it in today #this ancient relic could Actually play you something #pretty incredible if you ask me.#Personally I would like to watch the 68' special on this smashed up clunker #a kaleidoscope of tiny Elvis' prancing across the fractured surface of the screen....

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moeblob · 4 months

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AU where Brent is a drone to help out at crime scenes and offer input after Right finds the drone. And basically he befriends the really weird guy possibly controlling the drone but has his doubts as to how human the drone's source can be. So Right and Brent just go around trying to solve crimes while Right just calls the drone "Fuckwad (affectionate)".

#my characters #i love right so much and i think he would actually do pretty dang well with a lil assistant drone because not a person #which means not liable to get hurt with a bit of contact so he can just #tap the lil drone or poke it to push it away a little #anyway hi i had a very VERY bad morning and im not gonna lie #i was genuinely at one point thinking huh what if i get hospitalized that sure would suck #and i was thinking huh maybe i should think of how to instruct my mom on how to post on tumblr to tell you guys im hospitalized #which in my defense i had to bother my mom at 2am bc i went down to get pain meds and couldnt make it upstairs #and was breathing so intensely on the stairs hunched over i was like hmmmm not the usual panic attack feelings #and she immediately asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital #so im like cool not gonna let that outta my mind thats fine surely no problem #just gonna fixate on being hospitalized #anyway i finally got helped upstairs and was in incredible pain and couldnt breathe v easily #and it was leading to a bit of a panic attack because i was in so much pain simply trying to inhale and #my breathing was so shallow and sharp and my arms were just having bad circulation and shaking and hm #yeah it was p bad #anyway as a treat to myself not being in a hospital i drew my beloved raccoon son right

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drrav3nb · 6 months

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SHIN HA KYUN & KIM YOUNG KWANG in EVILIVE [E5-8]

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vargaslovinghours · 7 months

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It's here! It's the big one-oh! Get ready for the 10th! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)

Starting off with some Just Desserts stuff; it's not exactly against the rules to modify Pets with features they wouldn't naturally have - like a cat with wings - but it is side-eyed by other players

He might be projecting just a little bit lol

Obviously he'd support Joel wiping the floor with other Pets in the arena haha

Next one's a continuation, comic-style!

Since they've only got the one pet between them, they have to take turns directing Joel so he doesn't get confused on who to listen to haha, I'm sure it doesn't help that they have similar voices and Scriabin is constantly butting in. I think in this setting Edgar might be able to get away with pushing him around a little more haha ♪ He'll still pay for that later :)

FNF x Vargas! Quick, who wants to collab as I know Nothing about music composition lol - what might their voices/instrumentation sound like! I’ve always been a fan of strings for Edgar, piano for Scriabin personally :)

These were the two poses I had the absolute strongest mental images for, so they get the big pretties! Scriabin having a secondary feature to his Up animation (not just pointing a finger gun but also “shooting” it), only being visible when the note is held ah, I just love the animation in my mind’s eye lol

Two poses inspired by their bouncies! Edgar’s Down and Scriabin’s Right - I didn’t have them onhand for reference, but I’d definitely push them closer to the originals :D

I really like the idea of most of Edgar’s poses being smaller, more closed-in, and Scriabin’s being big and bombastic, but their Lefts are the opposite! Haha ♪

I've seen a good several songs that have a mid-level transformation which I find Very cool :D I suppose these could also be for different stages, but going from a whole Edgar to him missing an eye and actively bleeding and screaming and stumbling around to the music - I just think it's a neat concept lol

Scriabin's transformation would be with his wings of course!

More of the WOY idea! Scriabin's being so nice 😈♥

You know I had to draw Jake in this style, he's too cute not to, I had to! Fun proportions hehe

Two little balls of sunshine <3 This was the one where I really couldn't decide what art style I was most reminded of between Steven Universe and the rest haha

A rubber hose smooch! Cartoony mwah!

Don't be fooled Wander, kisses are temporary, bullying Edgar is forever

The topic drifted at one point to the idea of Scriabin and Edgar being able to turn their brain-sharing on and off which gave me a Two Yeses/One No idea

Started with them on equal footing - both of them can say no to oppose the other, and in order to link back up they have to both agree! And how that might look depending on who initiates hehe <3

I think it'd be good for them to have hard boundaries in place, not able to be coerced into giving up their privacy :)

As well as them being able to just tap in and Know again, Scriabin using it to be lazy and not try to communicate with his mouth haha

But even with those hard stops in place, how would sleep affect things! If he tried, could Scriabin break into Edgar's dreams? Even if he gave permission, would his subconscious allow that? :0 It's interesting!

Quick break for a scribbly concept of how I wanted my first Vargas Drabbles soft cover to look haha - I didn't end up using the red inlay but it's definitely an idea for next time 👀

Back to brain-sharing, but this time featuring a return to body-sharing! :00 I hadn't considered it until Zarla mentioned them physically phasing together and then became Very interested in exploring it, when isn’t Scriabin annoying tho lol. It’s because you love him, Edgar!

Falling back into old habits of emotionally degrading Edgar, but he has the power to kick you out now! Just try your smart mouth on him from out here, where it hurts less!

Get back in on good behaviour, or because he misses him too much ♥ I love his sweet face here I 💕💗💖❤️💞💝

How dare he be so inviting, Scriabin has to deal with a physical heart and you are trying to kill him, cruel mean Edgar (lol)

Inspired by the hug test haha ♪ Hug him!

This was supposed to be a sweet moment :( Scriabin can't help it, being vulnerable is icky haha

But when offered the opportunity, you take what you can get <3 They are so damn cute, gah

Hehe ♪ There needs to be Some level of awkwardness to it, it's still Vargas after all. Would it hurt? No, maybe more like an organ shifting back into its correct position :)

How's he supposed to help it when you make it so easy

They'd have to negotiate safe and opportune times to share minds if it required them to share a body! Scheduling when to be apart would probably be stressful, but so would being together haha

Edgar doesn't want to deal with this until he's more awake, and maybe not at all if he gets jealous hehe

And finally again, we've returned to the Two Yeses/One No idea - who gets to decide who's "No" counts once they're already enmeshed? :) Introducing the Lobster Trap ✨

“slrch” is such a gross sound effect haha

Really struggling with the concept of Scriabin’s autonomy! He quite literally exists outside of you now Edgar, you have to let him grow on his own!

Scriabin probably just wants out to do something Edgar morally objects to, enough to suffer his company while pissed. The idea of Scriabin having his own body and still having to take Edgar over to exert his own personhood again, ugh, it’s so fraught <3

The Lobster Trap has so many potential outcomes, even discounting one side over the other! Obviously I had to make as many as I could come up with lol; starting with Scriabin getting to decide when he hops in, and Edgar getting to decide if he lets him out - two yeses all around to show it As Intended, all going well :)

And here are Edgar's No options: his no overrides letting Scriabin out, but does nothing to deter Scriabin from coming in without his permission. I think this is one of the worst configurations for them haha ♪ It’s so easy for them to be cruel to each other!

Now the other way around! Scriabin has to get Edgar's permission to come in, so here's their Two Yeses :D Obviously he did it to annoy Edgar, he'll never get to read in peace haha. Not that he would even without this hehe

Edgar's No would shut Scriabin out, which I think would be good for them honestly; Edgar gets time to process things on his own without Scriabin manipulating him from the inside, and Scriabin gets to eat humble pie

Two Yeses again, though it was hard to imagine a situation where Scriabin would willingly hop out at Edgar's request - to make fun of him though? Yes ✨

And again, Edgar's No not overriding Scriabin's Yes - I think this would be really good for them! Edgar doesn't get to hold him against his will, and Scriabin doesn't get to burst in without his permission!

But really, it'll always be messy with them <3 Even in the best scenario, if Edgar's Yes overrides Scriabin's No of being forced inside - even if he couldn't hold him there, just the action of making him see from his point of view and all that entails... ♪

Little jailbird, just wants to fly away on clipped wings 💔

Now for something completely different lol. Scriabin wrote a resumé! I’m sure it’s full of accurate information to help him land a proper interview :)

Good, good, dates, prior experience, employers, skills, conquests-

Scriabin insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it

There is such a Massive difference between writing resumés and actually doing the work the resumé is required for, come on. I do love just how miffed Edgar looks tho haha

S: >:3c | E: Yeah alright point taken

Tiny spacefiller - he's so mad! He's gonna tell you all about it!

Oh hey wow Nny's still here, that's neat. Originally there was an Edgar next to him but only the main character turned out cute, rude

Quietly cutting potatoes <3 Domestic

I love Scriabin getting scared inside Edgar but him having to put on an outwardly placid face so he doesn't freak Nny out in turn haha. Nny's love language is knives

But that's where the nutrients are! Speaking of Ghost-

Teaching him how to flay skin, not necessarily strictly on potatoes hehe. I like the idea of Nny kinda spacing out when it comes to his favourite activities - yeah he hates touching people, but that takes a backseat to talking about murder and playing with knives

Obviously Edgar's a bit distracted himself lol. Nny just casually talking about what happens when you separate the flesh from the body and Edgar and Scriabin are over here discussing Just how gay this is haha

I went and reread one of my old drafts of One Way Mirror recently and ahh I’d forgotten how sassy they are with each other lol

I'm still crazy about them <3 They drive me absolutely mad 💕 I think it's funny too, since I started writing OWM while deeply fixated but didn't think much of the Flavour of my writing I didn't expect anything from rereading, but it does taste a bit like mainfic hehe ♪

I love when Scriabin argues how much he wants to "help" Edgar while controlling him up and down, Edgar's not about to take this sitting down if he can help it! Also emasculating insults my beloved ♥

Thinking again about Hunchback; not quite any of the already-established stuff (they're not playing the roles, nor are they separate and seen the movie! What!), about why Scriabin would side-eye Edgar so much during Out There. It's a good song for him :) And I love drawing him like this haha, proud and haughty angle <3

Edgar with slightly less floofy hair and the closed-line nose style from a few years ago lol ♪ I do like bridge/bottom of the nose style I've grown into, but it's still a fun style to return to every once in a while :)

And one last sneaky cheeky kiss for smooch practice before the very end! Just try and stop me! Why did Scriabin turn out so pretty tho ♥

So that's June through September, again-again! Well, almost - turns out I actually made too many sketches for my Blank Slate AU/fic - literally as many as are featured here! - so it needed its own post. So please look forward to that!

#💟#Doodles #Art #Sketchdump #Scriabin #Edgar #Jake #Nny #Blood #There's also some potential body horror and possible uncomfortable boundary-crossing so be warned #So the standard Vargas fare haha #Lots of crossovers this time! Practically crossover central in here! Lol #The FNF doodles were like 95% inspired by the absolutely Incredible Animation vs. Friday Night Funkin mod #Specifically Stickin' To It but honestly watch/listen to the whole thing it's actually incredible #I've seen some pretty amazing FNF mods but that one hits different for me it is So inspiring #I mean yeah I already love AvA lol but just ugh the amount of care and work that so obviously went into it <3 #The kind of passion is contagious! As evidenced by all the other crossovers as well lol #WOY passion <3 And yeah I'll count Just Desserts too why not haha #The biggest inspiration is still the original tho >:3c Nothing sparks images quite like The Source - of course haha #Conversation is a big aspect of that haha - all of those middle doodles of them mind sharing again were largely just from talking :D #And I mean - some leftover thoughts and feelings about You Can't Live Like This but when am I not lol #I want to see them being good to each other! I want to see them being cruel to each other!#Dynamic truly unmatched haha #I did actually write a temp resumé for Scriabin (as practice :P) but there's a lot of ambiguity left open lol #I do love them being domestic together #Some of these feel real disjointed 'cause if you read the last bit you know I had to cut a lot!#Well rather - separate them out into their own sketchdump lol I can do ~90 images but not double that I already had to make this three times #Which means I Think that I've gotten all formatting errors from attempt two but if I didn't? Just ignore those if you'd be so kind <3 #I could go back and fix them but hahahaha absolutely not you actually couldn't pay me #Lol tho ♪ Just happy to have another one done :)

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timeofjuly · 2 months

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So I'm pretty sure my ao3 account got hacked lmao - good news is that I worked it out in time, but bad news is I've basically had to delete my old account and start a new one. This shouldn't actually impact anything on your guy's end - I managed to transfer all of my fics to my new account (which has the same username, timeofjuly), but if you were subscribed to me as a user, you'll need to re-subscribe. It also means that all of the comments I've left and replied to will now say Account Deleted, which kills me on the inside, and I've lost all of my bookmarks and all the works I was subscribed to, but what can you do. If you wanna re-subscribe to me as a user (my story and series subs aren't impacted, so if you're just into RTC you should be fine), you can do that here.

#yippee lol #not a fun way to start my wednesday #this was. incredibly stressful #actually pretty cut about my bookmarks too #and my user subscriptions #i know numbers aren’t important but it was really cool to see how many people were interested #in what I write just for me as a writer not just the one story

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thsc-confessions · 9 months

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"I hate watching people play the THSC games. Well hate is a strong word but... I don't trust them. Mostly because the thumbnails I see are the absolute worst. And also they keep making it seem like Ellie just the girlfriend of Henry and that's it" submitted by anon

#ya know this confession made me rewatch some old playthrough's of the games that I grew up watching #and while they were incredibly nostalgic for me I understand they're not for everyone #especially bcz some of those THUMBNAILS???#I actually found some pretty gross thumbnails that had like henry in a pool?? with a BIG BOOBED SUPERMODEL #also numerous ones with them sexualizing ellie like wow a main girl character is in the games time to sexualize her!!!#also yes that picture is my poor attempt to recreate the thumbnails😭#didn't wanna make it too flashy tho so that way you'd be able to focus on the actual confession pfft #thsc #mod dave #thsc confession #thsc confessions #anon

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gibbearish · 26 days

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i know im preaching to the choir on transgumblr.com but can i just say. cis people who throw big fits about transfems who dont shave have just. black holes for brains. like even putting everything about how it sucks to say shaving=femininity while pretending to be a feminist and whatnot aside, you cannot tell me a beard isnt a dope as fuck accessory on a femme look. it literally fucks and if you think it looks gross you can just say you have bad taste and go. beards look cool as fuck and femmes look cool as fuck, why would combining them cancel out the cool as fuck factor. like are you jealous that they get free jaw contouring without having to put anything on their face or what

#sorry ive been binging caelan conrads videos recently and every time they doll up their hair and do their makeup and dress up fancy #but leave the facial hair im like #GOD. GOALS.#the curls the eyeliner the nails with the 5oclock shadow. incredible. 1000/10 #were i not demi i would be saying i think i hauve covid #origibberish #also inb4 anyone gets mad abt me skimming over the actual theory behind why judging this stuff is bad: you know the people I'm talking about #wouldnt be convinced by theory and that the people im talking to Already Know The Theory. im not gonna unnecessarily lengthen this post by #rehashing feminism 101 #the bit at the end is a joke‚ i am aware that the real reason theyre mad about it is transmisogyny #i figured that stuff was pretty clear but doesnt hurt to add a disclaimer kabfksnfmdn

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blujayonthewing · 2 months

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thinkin again about the time elyss's DM cut in to stop a conversation between her and a semi-retired player character to hurriedly take back control of him as an NPC before he could give her, as an extremely kind and thoughtful gift, one of his own personal belongings, and then said 'elyss can probably buy it from him though :)' instead

like. what an egregiously fucking shitty thing to do, actually.

#I think we were caught SO offguard that neither of us was able to articulate a good resistance although we both tried #eldryn's player: ...I mean... he WAS going to just give it to her #DM: haha well I don't wanna just give you guys too much stuff [???]#me: I mean-- you JUST gave us like? ten thousand gold and a castle that we didn't even ask for ......?#I HAVE the money [2000g????] and I don't actually care about losing it but.............???#DM: yeah so I just feel like I've already given you guys a lot lately #WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS: THAT WAS A GIFT BETWEEN CHARACTERS NOT 'THE DM GIVING US TOO MUCH'.#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'YOU ARE CHANGING A KIND GESTURE FROM A GOODHEARTED MAN INTO A CRAVEN EXPLOITATION OF ELYSS FOR MONEY.'#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'TAKING OVER A PLAYER CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ELYSS TO HAVE A THING #'IS AN ABUSE OF DM POWER AND AN EGREGIOUS BREACH OF DM/ PLAYER TRUST.'#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ELYSS AND/OR ME PERSONALLY.'#and like. the actual consequences are so small. we were in a between-arcs timeskip we had BBEG Treasure Hoard money #Elyss loses 2000g and doesn't even miss it. Eldryn being a good friend IS canon and the DM can suck my dick about it #but on principle. on principle the fact that he did that. that is so incredibly shitty. you don't see that?#and for what? over an arbitrary price tag that I could afford without even missing it anyway?#over a magic item that's more psychological security blanket than anything particularly overpowered?#over powerplay dick waving over who REALLY gets to control Eldryn now that he's technically been retired as a PC?#what?? what is the reason??? ALL it accomplished was a fucking character assassination of a sweetheart character #which I think we've all privately decided didn't actually happen anyway because it's stupid and terrible and not fair of DM to Just Decide #and my already pretty flimsy trust in my friend as a DM sinking to unforeseen new lows #god. god.#about me #my OCs #elyss

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caffeinatedopossum · 3 months

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I suffer from feeling unloved despite being surrounded by people who love me loudly and only having been told by one person (internet stranger) that they hate me in the last 3 years

#only being hated by one person who doesnt even know me is. pretty lucky considering i suck #'trust me if you knew me you would hate me more' lol #just be glad you have a block button my guy #my irl friends are not so fortunate /j #they have to love me to put up with my bs this long. genuinely dont doubt most people's love anymore #until i doubt reality which happens frequently unfortunately #actually most of the people who didnt love me didnt say they hated me. they were just unkind to md #and i havent had a single person other than a handful of internet strangers be unkind to me since i was a kid #and even then the hater to supporter ratio is like 1 to 300. not even kidding i counted once #which is pretty incredible tbh #want to thank people for loving me and apologize for being loved by them at the same time ;-;#whyyy

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calypsolemon · 3 months

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Feeling some kind of way about how Steven sings a beautiful, empathetic song about how his mother's upbringing and his own are similar, about how both their guardians loved them but simply don't see them as capable and believing thats the core of the issue, right before experiencing torturous punishments (which his own guardians would have never done to him), alongside some of the most extreme physical and psychological abuse he experiences throughout the series, all done to him under the pretense that the perpetrator believed he was his mother.

#the way everyone is telling him he's just like his mother #as they repeatedly prove that actually her upbringing and experiences were VASTLY different #but also the way that I dont think he can ever truly understand her because his experience was so different #even though he's trying so desperately in some ways to BE her or embody her and reach out and understand her #not to imply he's innocent at this point in the series but he does approach the situation with a level of naivete about abusive families #which pretty much carries through into future despite him having this experience #because despite this being incredibly traumatizing to him. its different than LIVING under this for thousands of years #its different than essentially growing up under it #btw this is also not to say ''steven had it better'' I just believe steven did not have an abusive upbringing #the nature of his childhood trauma is really different and it gives him mental blocks in relating to that sort of oppressive control

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princess-of-purple-prose · 1 year

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[ID: Two pages from Trigun Maximum. In the first, Rem cries as she passionately exclaims to Vash, "Don't throw it all away! Don't let it go! Don't say you'd rather die!" Young Vash seems shocked as she exclaims that she wants to see the world together, because it's made up of more than worthless people. Rem's face is scrunched up and flushed, tears beading at her eyes as she cries.

In the second, Marlin fondly tells Vash that Meryl and Milly worry when he leaves them and that he needs to learn to let people help him out, because they want to do so. Vash seems surprised, then begins to cry. He looks similar to Rem, with flushed cheeks and tears at the corners of his eyes, as he cries, "... Don't... Just... Don't tell me something like that now!" End ID]

Like mother, like son.... [starts bawling so hard I choke to death]

[ID: Another flashback page with Rem and Vash. Vash smiles with contentment and says, "But... if you hadn't stopped me then... I never would have know that when you cry, Rem... you look like you're laughing." Rem is still teary, but she smiles happily. End ID]

Bonus :')

#trigun spoilers #trimax spoilers #i was looking at a post with this marlon+vash dialogue and then i was like. wait. that face looks familiar #and LO AND BEHOLD #i am so unwell about rem and vash SO sick in the head about them #i love you rem. genuinely an incredible character and person and you were dead before the story started #speaking of. i was saying this to percy (ty percy for listening to me :) )#but i think that the marlon bit showcases rem's ideals manifesting in the series #if you can't love the world people in it will love you and if you can't love yourself people will love you still #love keeps you alive and love keeps you alive and love keeps you alive #god. anyway #hope it's cool i used indents for the ids! i don't usually use it on my own posts but it felt more readable for this one #trigun #my posts #kay talks #described #described by me #i don't think this'll maintag so that'll be the extent of my organizational tags lmao #also hi i edited the marlon panels myself (vash's reactions are actually on a separate page) i'm pretty proud of it :)#rem saverem #vash saverem #trimax

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deadboyswalking · 6 months

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I know One Piece fandom gets called a cult and the show/manga is constantly called overrated by people who haven't seen it (including me in the past)... but it is genuinely that good. I'm so glad I gave it a shot.

#the only thing i don't like is how fights get stretched out over way too many episodes #i lose interest in them pretty quickly if they're just repeating the same beats over and over (like the fight at Baratie)#the arlong park fight was better because it had enough character vs character variety and dynamic changes to keep things interesting #arlong park put the main character in grave danger and gave the straw hats powerful and diverse opponents to fight before arlong himself #i think the fight against captain kuro was good but only because he's such a threatening and deadly presence on his own #his crew was completely forgettable and low-level whereas the fish men were all formidable opponents #and had personalities and unique fighting styles that actually challenged the straw hats #i just got through the whisky peak arc and thought it was incredibly well done as well with tight pacing and efficient fight time #the baroque works characters either gave zoro a genuine challenge or were quickly cut down and time wasn't wasted on them #plus the structured yet mysterious organization kept things interesting as various agents moved in and out of the fight #one piece

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wrestlezon · 14 days

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Can you tell me more about this doc youre working on? Are you planning on making it public? Im new to wrestling and like the best friends stable a lot but the backlog of matches (including before aew) to watch is insane and im overwhelmed. Thanks for your answer in advance <3 hope you have a good day!

yeah to both questions!! it was a document of the timeline for the best friends + orange cassidy vs miro/kip/penelope feud, i put it together back in jan 2022. i want to post it here after im done cleaning it up-- it was really just notes and links to facilitate me giving a video presentation to my friends, and wasn't really meant to be legible for anyone else. i also did a bulk of the work before i got a sub to fite/triller, and I want to go in and add direct links to the episodes there because i know digging around the site for episodes is a pain.

i dunno how long that process is gonna take because im notoriously slow, so if you want a preview you can check it out here: https://wrestlezon.tumblr.com/BFOCvsMiroKipPenelope2020

(i dont want to post it early because changes/edits dont apply to people's reblogs)

all the dates are on there so you can go and track down the episodes via whatever way you can use to watch aew. they sometimes post clips/segments separately on youtube or twitter and i tried to provide those legit alternatives if i found them. the 12-character codes on there that usually start with BV1 are for bilibili.

im also relatively new to wrestling (i started this blog in jan 2022...) and around that time i saw a gifset of butler chuck taylor and went huh. what. how did this happen. why did this happen. and then tracked down what episode it was from and then worked my way looking forwards and backwards on show recap articles*. lots of CTRL+F-ing their names (lol) on the week-to-week recaps until I reached the beginning of the angle and the end. then i snooped around on, like, twitter by searching date ranges to see if they uploaded any "online exclusives" or supplementary material there. it kinda sucks having to do research homework for anything that isnt happening in the moment but i dunno how else youre supposed to go about it without asking someone directly or finding some giant effortpost someone made about it. cagematch is great for matches, but not for finding any segments in between. anyway i was "goin thru it" in 2022 so this was a valid use of my time and effort

*aew has recaps on their official site, the wrestling observer has recaps on their site (f4wonline), and theres cagesideseats also. only cagesideseats has an archive page, everyone else wants me to suffer through infinite-scroll and die!!!!

#askzon #honestly the worst part is that THIS FEUD ISNT EVEN THAT GOOD!!!!!!!! IT DRAGS!!!!!!!!!#<- wailing from someone who has only gotten through revising the incredibly boring first half of this #before this? orange's jericho feud. after this? orange's adam cole feud. then they were in the jeff jarrett zone. UGH!!!!!#the yuta departure arc was pretty good actually. when did that start. may 2022??#though i feel like getting the full impact of that requires knowledge of the miscellaneous bte bullying segments #and yutas notesapp tweet before he fought chuck at beyond #and the fact chuck and orange trained him wahhh and let him live on their couch for a while WAHHHHHH

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