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dragon-kazansky · 3 years

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Payback | Niki Lauda

Written just for @lieutenantn 💕💕💕

Tried to keep it gender neutral reader

I did my best, this is my first attempt at Lauda 🥺

SMUT!!!

It was incredibly hot. Even with all the doors and windows open it was incredibly hot. You couldn't let the heat affect you, you had somewhere to be.

You had no idea why he had called for you. Unless it was race day, he never needed you otherwise. Niki Lauda didn't ever call you out to his place. Why would he?

Yet, here you were, standing at his door waiting for him to answer. You were full of suspicion. You had no reason to be here.

The door opens and there stands Lauda, looking at you with that impartial expression on his face. He always looked at you like that. You waited for him to say something, but all he did was leave the door open. You sighed as you followed him inside, closing the door behind you.

You stare at his back as you wait for him to explain why he called you of all people here. He didn't say anything right away. You couldn't see his expression change as he thought over what he intended to do. He had no one else to ask this of, you were his only option.

This must be such a weird situation for you.

He turns and looks at you, letting out a sigh through his nose. His eyes were piercing.

You wait.

"I need you to do something for me. You're the only person I can ask."

You furrow your brow at him, crossing your arms and waiting for him to say more. He doesn't say anything right away, just watches you. Your patience is wearing thin, but you wait.

You did not need to deal with moody Niki.

"What do you need me to do?"

He looks at you, trying to read your expression. His tongue darts out and licks his lips as he adjusts his standing position and speaks.

"I need you to be my date this weekend."

You stare at him.

Those aren't words you expected to hear from him. Especially toward you. Niki Lauda didn't ever look at you twice.

"You need what?" You hiss, looking him up and down. Was he out of his mind?

"You heard me."

"Why do you need me to do that? Where is this coming from? Who are you and what have you done with the real Niki Lauda?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes, hands on his hips as he looks at you.

"It doesn't matter why. I just need you to do it. One day, that's all it is."

"All it is? Why are you asking this of me? And don't tell me it doesnt matter, you would never ask me up to your home to pull a favour like this."

He lowers his hands from his hips and narrows his eyes at you a bit.

"It's just for show. One day. That's all it is."

"Does this have something to do with Hunt?"

His silence says it all. It's your turn to sigh as you turn on your heel.

"I am not here to be used at your convenience, Lauda."

You walk back to the door. Just as you open it is claes again. Niki has his hand flat against it, having pushed it shut. You glare at him as you turn your head to look at him.

"Pick someone else Niki. Someone you can stand."

He stares at you. You can't tell what's going through his head, but you figure he has given in when he pushes off the door. You open it again, but are once again stopped, this time by his words.

"I can stand you."

You don't look at him. You scoff and shake your head.

"Lying doesn't change anything."

"I am not lying. I don't lie. Not to you."

You risk glancing back at him. His expression hasn't changed much, maybe a late softer around the eyes. For some reason that causes your heart to skip a beat or two.

"You never talk to me, not unless you have to."

"That doesn't mean I don't like you."

You close the door and turn to face him, watching him curiously. This is the most he's ever said to you, normally you're standing there on the sidelines until he has a purpose for you.

"What do I get if I do this?"

"What do you want?"

You think about it. You smile softly. He looks at you, waiting to hear what's on your mind.

"Lunch. You take me out for lunch."

"That's all?"

"Yeah, that's all."

You see his lip twitch a bit, but he doesn't smile completely. His eyes are softer on you though.

"Then it's a deal."

You nod. Niki tells you what he wants you to do and where to meet. You agree and leave his home, not thinking too much about this fake dating thing he has asked of you. He just wants to show up Hunt, that's all.

You put on your nicest outfit and meet him where he asked you to meet him. He picks you up, right on time, and you drive down to the event.

The house he pulls up outside of is very nice. Many other drivers are entering the building as you get out of the car.

Hunt's car is parked directly outside.

Niki offers you his arm and you both head inside. What an actress you become. Niki glances at the way you fall into the persona of his date for the evening.

The smile on your lips, the way you touch him, the way you look at him. He knew he could rely on you.

You both enter the house and people instantly come over to greet Lauda. You sort of cling to his side as they talk to him. Niki talks to them for a little bit, but is quick to find an excuse to leave with you. You looked a little overwhelmed.

"I don't see him," you say.

"Who?" He asks, momentarily forgetting the reason he had asked you to be here.

"James Hunt."

"Oh."

You glance around the room, but you don't see him at all. He must be here though, you saw his car outside.

"Well, this is unexpected."

You both turn. There he is.

"Didn't expect you if all people to be on his arm," Hunt looked between the pair of you.

"Why not?" Niki asked, already irritated.

"Because you're an asshole and they're not?" Hunt gave a condensing grin. You felt Niki's hand clench behind you where his hand was resting on your back.

Lauda very clearly wants to say something, but you beat him to it.

"He's not an asshole to me," you lie.

Hunt looks at you curiously.

"You sure about that? I've seen the way he ignores you. Don't think I haven't noticed you, Y/N."

"You know my name?" You ask, voice a little soft. You didn't think anyone paid much attention to you hanging about the races.

"Yeah, course I do. You're at every race. Always with him, but he doesn't pay attention to you."

Niki hadn't realised how much attention Hunt had been paying to you. He wouldn't have asked this if you if he knew. The fact that Hunt is even talking about him this way is pissing him off. Especially when he knows Hunt is telling the truth.

As much as Niki liked you, he definitely didn't give you much time of the day, no matter much time you spent with him.

"Things can change, Hunt."

James looked at him, unconvinced, but he also saw the way your hand was clutching Lauda's jacket.

"Maybe I am wrong."

You feel Niki's hand relax behind you.

A pretty young woman comes up to James and smiles at him. With Hunt now distracted, Niki leads you away. His hand was firm around you as he passed by everyone with ease. He took you into another room, almost rushing to get there.

"Where are we going?"

He doesn't answer your question as he closes the door to the empty room and looks at you.

"Do you hate me?" He asks.

"Hate you?"

"Yes, hate me. Do you hate me because of the way I have treated you? I am an asshole. I have always been one when it came to you, yet you stick around anyway. Why?"

You remain silent.

Niki steps up in front of you and looks at you. His gaze feels intense on you and suddenly you feel like you're standing outside his house in the blazing heat of the sun again.

"I don't hate you," you whisper.

"You don't?"

You shake your head. "No, I've never hated you, Niki. I admire you, even if you do act like an asshole sometimes."

"For whatever it is worth, I do like you, Y/N."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

He is standing so close. All you would have to do is pull him closer by the lapels of his jacket and he could be kissing you.

Suddenly you desired nothing more.

You eyes glance down to his lips. You watch the way they part slightly, knowing he was watching you.

He's kissing you before you can register anything else. It's quite heated, hungry. There's a feeling that he could have been resisting this for some time, but that can't possibly be.

He guides you back until your legs bump into the edge of a bed. You had been so lost in the fact Niki had rushed you off somewhere, you hadn't realised he had taking you to a bedroom.

His intention was just to find out how you really saw him, but this turned out better than he thought.

He had you lying back on the bed while he uncooked his belt. You looked up at him with eyes he couldn't quite read.

"You could tell me to stop and I could take you home. We could go back to how we were before," he says, hands hovering the waistband of his trousers.

You sit up slowly and keep your eyes locked on his as your hands do the rest of the work for him. His breathing hitches as you undress him, you don't look away from him as you drop his clothes to his ankles.

That's all the answer he needed.

He was over you again, your lips being claimed by his again. Your hands work at pushing his jacket away from his shoulders and tossing it to the floor. Only once they were done did you then let your fingers tangle in his curls.

Niki's hands work on your clothing. He won't be satisfied until you're in the same position as he is.

Now you're bare to him from the waist down.

"Who's bed is this?" You ask, whispering against his lips.

"I don't care," he replies, kissing you again.

The fingers of his left hand trail down between your legs and give you some well deserved attention. He was desperate to feel you in every way he possibly could.

He wanted you.

This was the payback for how he treated you. Everything was going to change after this. He would make it up to you.

You placed a hand to his cheek and looked at him with gentle eyes. He was eager for you, but he also found satisfaction in just looking at you for a moment.

He considered himself to be a very lucky man right at this moment.

He kisses you again, this time while pushing into you. He didn't want to wait any longer, plus, the longer you were both gone, the more suspicious it might seem to anyone who saw him earlier.

You gasped against his lips as you adjusted to him.

You never expected to end up here. A few days ago he wouldn't have looked at you twice. Now you're on a stranger's bed half naked.

He wasn't gentle. He wasn't here to be gentle. He had you clawing at the sheets under you, your head back, lips parted, all kinds of noises coming out. As much as he e enjoyed making your squirm under him, he needed you to be quiet. The music out there wasn't loud enough to block out sounds at all.

He places a hand over your mouth and looks at you. He shames his head silently. You nod, but he doesn't let go right away. When he does, you press a kiss to his palm before it leaves you completely.

The bed shakes as his thrusts become a little more sharp and violent against you. It's very hard trying to keep the noise level down, but you manage it.

Seeing you like this, it was etched into his brain. What a sight you were.

Your arms resting over his shoulders, fingers clawing in his hair and on his back. You want to feel him, touch him. Just the same he wanted of you.

All that time he spent pushing you to the side felt wasted. He could have had you so much sooner. Why did he wait for Hunt to push him over the edge to make this happen?

He kissed you. Again and again and again.

You were intoxicating to him.

You couldn't stop the mean from escaping you as he just hit the right spot. Oh God, the sound you were making, he wanted more of them. If there weren't so many people in the other rooms, he would have you singing.

You couldn't hold on much longer. You clenched around him tightly, he knew you were close, as was he, but he wanted you climax first.

He kept going, grinding into you with precision and perfect rhythm.

You came for him. His lips curled upward.

His turn. He increased his pace and focused on his own pleasure, but the way your hands caressed his face gently and brought his face down to yours some more, really had him melting for you.

He twitches within you. You brush your lips against his in the softest manner. He comes undone in seconds.

He releases within you and brushes his lips against your cheek as he catches his breath.

"Hunt was wrong."

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn't.

Niki pulls out of you, leaving you feeling a little empty without him. He climbs off the ned and grabs his forgotten trousers. You take a moment to catch you breath, but before you could lift yourself up, Niki offers you his hand.

You accept his help and slowly stand, dressing yourself when he hands you your forgotten clothes.

He fixes your hair delicately. You're almost jealous by the fact his curly hair looked no different, despite how much your fingers tugged and roamed within them.

Once you were all fixed up, Niki reached for your hand. You accepted it and let him lead the way back to the party. Luckily there weren't many people about right outside, no one seemed to notice the pair of you slipping back into the main room.

Hunt was very well distracted elsewhere. Lauda didn't even glance at him as he took you outside.

"Shouldn't be mingle some more?"

"No. I am done here. Besides, I owe you lunch, remember."

You smile and tug at his hand, causing him to stop. Niki looks at you.

"Forget lunch. I don't care any more. I got something better out of this anyway."

"Oh?" He grinned.

"Yeah, how many people get to fuck Niki Lauda at a party?"

He faces you full on.

"You know I have no intention of letting you go after this?" He asks, gesturing between you both with his free hand.

"You want to go from fake date to actual date?"

"If you'll have me."

You stare at him, trying to read his eyes. Lauda once again becomes unreadable to you as silence settles between you both.

"You're serious?"

"Do I look like I'm laughing?"

"Is this just to prove Hunt wrong again? I'm not some plaything here to get in between this rivalry you have with him."

Niki steps closes and places his hands on your shoulders. His palms are warm.

"I know you're not. I was a fool to use you as such in the first place. I am asking genuinely."

You can't help the soft smile that appears on your face. He was serious. He actually meant it.

You kiss him.

You don't care who sees.

He returns the gesture eagerly. All he could ever want now is right here in front of him.

He really did feel like the luckiest man in the world.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @belle82devart @hb8301 @stardancerluv @killeromanoff @cathrin2405 @zemosimp420 @charistory @sleepyflutist18 @supercharged-tatertot @belle82devart @sexyundeadtrash @realremyd @goddessofmischief03 @myybebe

#niki lauda x reader #niki lauda #daniel bruhl #rush #smut

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asingleheart-shapedbraincell · 4 years

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Obey Me! Brothers as Werewolves

Lucifer

Gonna remind everyone now that alpha theory was disproven and actual wolf packs act as family units

That being said - alpha, clearly

Not because he's the strongest (though he is) but because he's the most nurturing

Considers all his brothers (and you) to be his responsibility and under his care

Second biggest in wolf form (next to Beel)

Thick, dark fur, great in winter but in summer hates how hot and itchy it gets. Shedding his winter coat is an EVENT. Scratch him and fluff just falls out by the handfuls

Hates how patchy he looks when shedding, very grumpy when its happening

Refuses to ask for help when it comes to brushing out his coat, but if you're somewhere private he is very happy to just lie there whilst you brush out all that itchy loose fluff

Also just very nice to pet in general, but rarely let's you outside of softer moments :/

Not outwardly aggressive - when correcting his brothers behaviour hes more likely to just growl softly instead of going for a full snarl. If he actually shows his teeth then things are serious and you might want to have some final words with your jugular

Isn't very affectionate in public, but is very protective - wherever you go, if hes in his wolf form hes by your side, or at the very least is keeping an eye on you

If anyone he doesnt like the look of approaches you, he calmly places himself between the two of you. If that isn't enough trust me, a staring contest with those eyes isn't going to last long

Mammon

Pretty boyyo

White fur thats not nearly as thick and long as Lucifer's but still has a substantial ruff

Uses his wolf form to run away from loan sharks a lot (hey, four legs are quicker than two, right?)

Also loves the attention he gets from girls - he knows he's handsome in both forms, but girls say it more when they think he can't understand them

Sheds the least of all the brothers, but since his coat is so pale his hair is more noticeable so he still gets flack for getting it on the furniture

Hes still needy as a wolf

You know those videos of huskies throwing massive tantrums??? Yeah, hes on that level, his dramatics only kept in check by his tsundere nature

Loves it when you pet him. He'll pretend he doesn't, but the second you stop hes gonna start whining

(Doesn't) hate it when you baby-talk him

Not generally aggressive within the pack, just prickly - maybe a growl or a huff here and there, maybe a snap if someone's really pushing his buttons

He is possessive tho

Will physically put himself between you and other people to get your attention. If the other person doesn't take the hint, then he's showing teeth

If you don't let him sleep in the room with you, you'll open your bedroom door the next day and find him curled up outside

Definitely wants to put his head in you lap and have you stroke him til he falls asleep but refuses to admit it

Gets jealous if you're petting another brother at the same time as him and will throw a tantrum and try to shove them away from you

He was your first pact, which means he has first dibs on all cuddles!!!! What do ya mean that's not a rule??? Thats totally a rule!!!!

Leviathan

'Hes not dog friendly'

Spends very little time in his wolf form (its hard to game without opposable thumbs)

Does sometimes shift out of shock tho

Like, if you kiss him unexpectedly, poof! There's a wolf infront of you, who's blushing lobster red underneath all that fur

Will hide under the bed

✨separation anxiety✨

Glued to your side in wolf form, because he doesn't like or trust other people or wolves (and definitely NOT because he likes your company and wants you to maybe pet him 😳😳😳)

Kinda likes that you can't see him blushing when he's in wolf form

Will lie next to you and wait for you to initiate pets. Especially loves it when you scratch him behind the ears.

Because hes a shut in and doesn't spend a lot of time in his wolf form, his fur is the messiest - patchy winter coat, small tangles, really just needs a good brush (but only if you do it)

Not really aggressive to others, just not friendly. Maybe a growl every now and then, and sometimes a tantrum gets thrown, but thats it

Satan

Still quite cat-like

Hes not going to be throwing any loud husky-like tantrums

Doesn't like that he can't read books in wolf form (difficult to turn pages without hands) but does enjoy the emotional release for his anger when it comes to hunting Hell-Hinds and other demonic deer.

Fur is short, sleek, a lovely pale gold and well-kept (when it isn't bloodied by his most recent hunt)

When he isn't hunting he does enjoy stretching out infront of a fireplace and warming his fur

Is unopposed to being brushed when he's in the position, and may even allow you to pet his head gently, but thats it

Might lay his head in your lap tho

Sheds the least of all the brothers

Still tries to control his temper in wolf form, but you better hope he maintains it because those teeth can issue you a one-way ticket to the afterlife

Sometimes snaps or growls at his brothers, but is more likely to just leave the room if they're annoying him. If they're in his room then they're getting chased out with their tail between their legs (except Lucifer who wouldn't invade his space like that)

Asmodeus

Who's a pretty boy???? Who is???

Its him!!!!!!

Friendliest of all the brothers, if only because he loves the attention people give him

Will walk up to you and just wait for the compliments (not unusual, tbf)

Doesn't love the hunting side of being a wolf - mud???? Blood??? Sweat???? In MY fur??????? I don't think so

Only really partakes when necessary, or if he's decided to go for a roguishly disheveled look that day

Uses his wolf form as an excuse to get affection that would be less appropriate in his human form - belly rubs, giving you puppy-dog eyes to be let up onto the bed, getting you to give him a bath - stuff that Lucifer would be more likely to reprimand him for when he wasn't a wolf

Softest fur of all the brothers - sleek, silky and always throughly brushed out, even when shedding. Plus, loves being pet so long as you don't mess up his fur too much.

Beelzebub

GOOD BOY GRANDE

The biggest of boys, the goodest of boys

Loves being in wolf form because its even easier to get food from people

You think his puppy eyes are bad NOW??? WAIT UNTIL HES AN ACTUAL PUPPY

Very comfortable in his wolf form, spends the most time out of all the brothers like that

Has absolutely no shame begging food from people's tables, no matter where you are. Also has no shame stealing food from people's tables, but will whine and act ashamed if they yell at him

Dont yell at him. He's baby.

Incredibly fluffy red coat, that and the amount of muscle underneath makes him the biggest wolf in the pack by far

Big doggy grin that could melt any heart

So tall that when he wags his tail you have to make sure it doesn't sweep everything off the table

Also loves being pet and doesn't mind baby talk at all. You can treat him like an actual dog and he won't get mad - he'll play fetch with you if you really want, but as a warning, the stick might end up more than a little chewed

Will, however, also go digging through people's bins

Also kinda slobbery

Is pretty much never aggressive, but then again, who would be stupid enough to provoke something with that much muscle and teeth???

If you scritch the right spot behind his ear his leg kicks out. He's not ashamed. More scritches pls.

But his favourite spot for scritches are under his jaw and his chin

WHAT ARE YOU EATING??? HEY!!! NO!!!! WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH???? BEEL YOU CANT EAT CHOCOLATE WHEN YOURE A WOLF!!!!! DROP IT!!!! DROP IT!!!!

Belphagor

Smallest of the wolves

Enjoys sleeping in wolf form because the fur adds an extra level of cosiness

You will just find him curled up in a nest of pillows with his nose tucked under his tail. Or flopped across a sofa, until Lucifer yells at him to get off the furniture

Has that intense stink-eye that some huskies are capable of.

Sometimes forgets to shift, or can't be bothered and will just wander around attempting to do people things until he realises hes in the wrong body - you ever gone to brush your teeth and then realised you need hands for that???

Definitely walks around holding his cow pillow in his mouth, or sometimes a plushie

Or dragging a blanket

Honestly its very cute

Does enjoy being gently pet as his drifts of to sleep

Which is good because his fur is always mussed up from his last nap

But if he falls asleep on you???? You're not moving. Sorry not sorry. This is your life now.

Little wolf bleps when he sleeps ➖👅➖

Has definitely vomited in Lucifers shoes as a wolf at least once, simply out of spite

Thick fur, but not long. Sheds a lot, but his fur is so dark you don't see it as much.

Lets out little muffled woofs and yips when he sleeps, and twitches when he dreams of running

If you scratch the right spot when hes sleeping, his leg will kick out the same as Beels, but if you do it when hes awake he'll get embarrassed and either leave, or give you a warning nip

The most aggressive with other pack members - hes just kinda bratty. Huffs a lot and is quick to give out little nips when he isn't happy, though he isn't much of a growler and never goes farther than that

Won't play fetch like Beel, but if you're REALLY lucky, he'll bring you a plushie of your own when he joins you for a nap

(Also, im relatively new to the game, I know there was a vampire event, if there was a werewolf event im unaware of it atm, but this is just for fun anyway)

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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memoriashell · 3 years

Text

seashells and shores ( and something a bit more )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, ensemble class 78; varyingly background / implied ships are sakuraoi / ishimondo / celeschi / naeleogami

crossposted on ao3

Notes: a very late day 3 for @tokomaruweek. beach prompt! yesterday i was feeling a little burnt out so i decided to not write since i didn’t want to put out something half assed. hopefully this being a bit longer helps make up for it! ( and by a bit, i mean i basically doubled the word count compared to what i’ve done for this week so far lmao rip so much for hoping i’d catch up tonight )

rated t for touko's trauma. and also for junko having her tits out. thanks junko.

anyways tw for like trauma, the general self-depricating / self-concious stuff for toko but also like. her trauma w/ water is brought up since it's. beach? and also drowning doesn't actually happen but it is brought up. and touko mentions claustrophobia in relation to her trauma offhandedly once, and again, just generally feeling insecure.

also it's kinda implied that chihiro and celes are both trans thank you!!!

Summary: going to the beach isn't exactly an exciting thought for her, given the fact she has no desire getting in the water.

komaru seems dead set on making sure she makes some memories anyways.

Do you want to come to the beach with us? That is the first text of the morning that she receives, courtesy of Makoto Naegi. Touko considers asking who he means by us, gathers that he probably means some assortment of their classmates, and ( while it is very tempting to say yes ) concludes that she can safely say no. And she intends to do exactly that, but she gets a set of texts that stops her from being able to do so.

touko-chan!!!!

ur coming with us, right?

you should come with us!

itll be fun!

So Komaru would be there too— their...friendship is odd, all things considered. Not that the knowledge of knowing she’d be there makes the offer any more tempting, but she bites her lip and considers what to say. Not that there’s really much of a question, just keep it blunt and to the point as per usual. No point in sugar coating things.

I’m busy. Maybe next time. She’s not that busy, current manuscript aside. Not that Touko intended on ever not being busy. It’s not her fault that Komaru is too dense to take a hint.

awww :(

pls?

if u don’t wanna get in the water, ill make sure they’ll leave you alone. im sure you won’t be the only one that doesnt want to!!

Ah. She might have to ( partially ) retract her statement on Komaru being dense. Had she figured out her reluctance without her even mentioning it, or had that just been a lucky guess? Maybe it was just Makoto’s luck rubbing off on her...

i understand if you don’t want to come

and i’ll leave u alone if u rlly dont wanna come.

but it wont be as much fun without you there :(

Urgh. Yeah, this girl doesn’t understand a thing, does she? She’s probably not even realized the impact her words have on her. Touko grumbles under her breath, but figures she should respond before Komaru sends another text begging trying to convince her.

Fine.

I’m not going in the water, though.

If this goes horribly wrong, I’m blaming you.

That is a lie. Even if worst comes to worst and Syo feels the need to front for her, she won’t hold it against her. She’s the one who agreed, after all. It’s just one last attempt at offering her an out. To change her mind. Like she should. But Komaru is nothing if not stubborn, so she doesn’t really expect that offer to be taken up on. She starts making a mental checklist of what she probably needs to take with her, doesn’t get very far into that list because Komaru’s response is nearly instantaneous.

yayayayay tnk u touko-chan ily!!!!!! :D

we’ll pick u up k????

ur staying @ the place near the dorms right? see u soon!! ♡♡

Touko grimaces at the butchering of language that is Komaru’s texting ( and ignores her own fluttering heart upon seeing the casual hearts sprinkled in at the end ), and sends back, If you love me, fix your grammar.

The car ride over is mostly uneventful. In that she means she feels like she’s going to have a headache before they even get there and Makoto keeps giving her a sympathetic look. In other words, she’s learned that Komaru and both Asahina siblings should not be left to entertain themselves for the hour-long car ride, but the only silver lining here is that it was only an hour-long ride and hopefully they would be tired out for the ride back.

The highlight of the hour was that even if it’d been a tight squeeze in the backseat, that meant she’d been ( somewhat ) uncomfortably sandwiched between the door and Komaru herself. She’s a little surprised that it doesn’t set off her claustrophobia, but reckons that might just be because it’s too bright to remind her of being locked in a closet. And also because Komaru is generally distracting in close proximity, from the way she’d been halfway sitting on her lap, to the faint scent of what Touko figures to be her shampoo.

She also considers it a victory that she did not dissociate in the midst of that, but probably only because Komaru kept checking on her and apologizing for how close they are: she’d had to bite her tongue several times from saying something harsher than she’d really mean. She doesn't hate Syo, but probably counterintuitive to let them front today: whether they are aware of this, or simply just disinterested in trying to front right now, she is thankful. If nothing else, she would consider this some kind of learning moment. Maybe. Something to draw inspiration from?

Still, once she’s free from the confines of the car, she can actually relax a little— or does for all of two seconds before Komaru has grabbed onto her free hand and started dragging her towards the loud group that she recognizes as her class. Yuta and Aoi had bolted out of the car the moment they’d come to a stop to race to the waters ( she can’t imagine being that athletic and feels tired watching them ). Touko gazes back longingly at the confines of the car and the consideration that she might’ve been able to isolate herself there, but her grip’s pretty tight on her hand. Which is nice, and distracts her from thinking about escaping until it's way too late, and she’s forced to look at the group before her, and—

Slaps a hand over Komaru’s eyes with a groan. “Enoshima, wh-what the fuck, you—” She holds off on the ( derogatory ) word she wants to say, and just scowls at the sight before her. “This isn’t a...a nude beach? Are you t-t-trying to get us in trouble or something?” Granted she’s not technically completely nude, but also more revealing than she should be. Seriously, she would’ve figured that Ishimaru would’ve already told Enoshima off already because what else is he good for ( then again, he is single-handedly the only person who would probably take no real issue with it, or be naively convinced by her that it wasn’t really a problem, so maybe she really shouldn’t be that surprised ).

Enoshima cackles at her. “Don’t be a prude, Fukawa! Or are you jealous? I’m just trying to get a sick tan.” While she’s at it, where the hell is Ikusaba to keep her sister in check? Whatever, that’s not really important, and she refuses to dignify that with a response given that Enoshima probably only wants to get a rise out of her.

Instead, she makes sure to put a decent distance between them before removing her hand from over Komaru’s eyes with a huff. “Urgh, honestly...what on earth m-made her think that was a, a good idea?” She grumbles, glancing around now that she doesn’t have to stare directly at...that.

Actually, now that she looks around, the only seemingly responsible person from their class currently present was Oogami— and honestly, she seems too busy being in love with her girlfriend to count ( if it wasn’t kind of heartwarming, she’d probably be disgusted. Not in a homophobic way, in a general ew PDA sort of way ). As for any else viably responsible: Kirigiri being absent wasn’t a surprise, Fujisaki’s too soft to really keep people in check, Byakuya is...his own entirely separate category, and she would rather die than count Hagakure as responsible in any capacity. And Makoto might be a voice of reason, but she’s pretty sure he’s utterly useless here. Which is probably a horrible sign of things to come, but what else did she expect from anything involving her peers?

“You don’t want to go in the water, right?” Komaru’s voice cuts in through her thoughts, watching her closely before taking her hand to start pulling her along then. “We should set up somewhere to sit, then!”

We? She thinks, but instead attempts to free her hand from her grip and voices, “...Don’t you want to go in th-the water with the rest of them? You don’t have to, uh, to stay with me, you know. I’m not a k-k-kid.”

Her expression looks conflicted. “Well, yeah, of course I do want to! But only for a bit, probably? I mean, it’d be kind of rude to leave you alone since I asked you to come?”

She ignores the way her stomach twists at that, and purses her lips. “Technically s-speaking, Makoto asked first. You aren’t— it’s not rude of you to want...to want to have some fun without me. I know I’m n-n-not fun to stick around.” She knows she wouldn’t want to stick around herself if she had the choice. “It’s not like, like I wasn’t prepared for th-that.”

“Yeah, but— that’s the thing. You shouldn’t be! And I want to spend time with everyone, and that includes you too.” And now she’s sulking. God. Fukawa is about to growl back something she’ll probably regret saying, but is saved from doing so by a much calmer voice interrupting, having overheard their argument.

“Why don’t you go join your brother for a bit? Fukawa-san can join us if she would like to. We have an extra seat.”

Celes looks hot— and she means that in a very literal sense ( mostly ), decked out in one of her usual frilly black dresses. She looks out of place in the hot summer heat. Touko is also not sure where and how she managed to get a table out here ( and tea, apparently, and you know what she’s just not going to question it ), but Fujisaki is already pulling out the extra seat in offering, and she sighs reluctantly. Better this than feeling like she’s holding Komaru back.

“G-G-Go. Or...or I’ll let Syo toss you in the water.” Not really a threat - if anything, Syo would dive bomb into the water with her. Argh, maybe she should’ve just let them front today...

( No, no she shouldn’t have. The only person currently present that Syo would’ve mostly listened to would be Komaru— and maybe Makoto or Fujisaki if they were feeling generous— which is an entirely different set of issues she doesn’t want to linger on. Needless to say, she doesn’t particularly want Syo to cause chaos today )

Touko is saved from having to argue further with her on this because as Komaru opens her mouth to protest, Yuta comes to steal her away, blabbering on about something about a game they should play: and while he’s definitely as oblivious as his sister, she’ll consider that a good thing, just this once. The only words Komaru manages to get in is to ask Toko to keep her bag for her, which she would’ve done anyways, picking it up from where she’d dropped it. She watches them wander off ( and only looks away when Komaru starts discarding the clothes she’d been wearing over her swimsuit ) before trudging over to sit next to Fujisaki, who flashes her a small smile as she types away on her laptop.

“I am surprised you came, Fukawa-san. You do not seem like the type for these activities. You are usually quite disinterested in participating in these kinds of things, in fact. Did something change?” Ugh. This is why Touko hates being around Ludenberg. Because she’s observant, generally only bested by Kirigiri in that regard, and is generally good at picking people apart when it comes to lies and acts and fronts ( though Touko would argue this is from personal experience, and not from being a gambler ). And this fact would have irritated her, quite honestly, if she had not self-sabatoged herself by taking it as an insult, instead.

“I-I-I get it. No one really wants...wants me here. That’s what you meant, right...? You don’t have to r-remind me.” She grits her teeth. If nothing else, when she isn’t busy lying, Touko can appreciate her honesty. The tiny hand that wraps around her wrist stops her from saying anything further, even if it doesn’t take much to wrench her arm out of Fujisaki’s grasp: but she gets the feeling she is only able to do so because she isn’t actually trying to hold on too tightly.

“I’m sure th-that’s not what she meant, Fukawa-san...” Ever quick to play peacekeeper, she supposes. Touko simply grumbles at her and rolls her eyes. “...Especially since not everyone was available today, it’s nice that you were able to join us!”

“Yes, it is a shame. I would have liked for Yamada-kun to have been able to help with my tea, today.” Celes sighs as if disappointed— really? That’s what she’s on about?

Touko does a second look at who is not currently gathered, and denotes, “Is Maizono st-still out on tour...?” She thinks Komaru had mentioned something like that in passing.

“Yes! Maizono-san is on tour, Yamada-kun is at an important convention, Ikusaba-san, she’s...doing some kind of training...? I think Kirigiri-san is supposed to be on the tail end of a rough case, and...” Here Fujisaki pauses to giggle into her hand. “I sh-shouldn’t really laugh at this really, but Ishimaru-kun got sick. Oowada-kun had to force him to rest since he had been trying to work through it and made it worse for himself... or so that’s what I was told.”

Oh, so that’s the reason she hasn’t heard the loudmouths today? She might take back her sentiments on Ishimaru being useless, but he’s on thin fucking ice. Of course the overachiever would get sick during the summer holidays— apparently, she’s not alone in that thought.

“Only Ishimaru-kun would get sick during vacation and still manage to find a reason to not take a break.” Celes rolls her eyes, but Touko gets the feeling she’s amused too.

“So wh-what you’re saying is, uh, is that Oowada’s going to get sick next...right? I guess— we’ll find out if idiots get s-s-sick or not.” Touko quips— which earns a softer laugh from Fujisaki, so that’s pretty good.

Of course, it wouldn’t be like her if she didn’t put her foot in her mouth almost immediately afterwards by asking why they aren’t going in the water: she’s not really surprised because Celes rarely participates in gym ( and coming from Touko that says a lot ), but she was pretty sure Fujisaki wasn’t that self-conscious of herself. Not as much? Not that she really has any place to talk in that regard.

“Well, we already went to the beach at the start of the summer holidays! I’m not really missing out on anything, and it’s probably not my last opportunity to go during this break anyways.” And then, a little more sheepishly. “...Also I’m close to making a breakthrough on this code, I think. I wanted the fresh air, but I don’t really think I can afford to take much of a break right now.”

“She would have stayed on the train if I did not warn her we were approaching our stop, I believe. And not all of us can be like Enoshima. The brazenness of that woman is truly something else.” Touko is not sure if she says that from a place of respect or fear, and honestly she relates. And also doesn’t say any further on the subject because Celes gives her a dirty look.

Her gaze goes back out to their peers— she is pointedly avoiding needing to look at where Enoshima is— and spots Komaru and Yuta splashing around with Aoi and Oogami. Well, it looks like just splashing at least, from where she’s at. And Hagakure, who really just looks like an out-of-place sea cretin with the way his hair floats on the water’s surface, so. There’s that?

( No, she’s not at all envious of the fact that all of them get to have fun because they don’t have crippling fears: the ocean does not instill the same fear of confinement that a cramped bathtub does, but fear— there is still the fear that something will tug her down and her body will simply let herself dragged underneath out of instinct, a fear of something worse if she tries to fight for survival— )

Focus. She can feel the way her breath catches a little, the uneasy way her heart beats and concentrates on calming down. She doesn’t seem to have gotten Syo’s attention yet, nor anyone else’s, thankfully. She’ll just...watch Komaru for now, yeah. It takes a moment to relocate her, head breaching from underneath the water and surfacing like...like one of the sea’s legendary enchantresses. She means that in a wholly respectful way, of course, watching the way she shakes the water from her hair, mouth open in a wide grin while she laughs. Touko doesn’t need to hear her to know that on the sole basis of her appearance— the bright look in her eyes is enough to say she is happily enjoying herself without her.

On that note, hm. Maybe she can use some of that for the basis of her next novel— something about a siren and a lady visiting the sea? Tragic romances are always a hit, aren’t they? Okay maybe a tragic lesbian romance is more self-projection, but that's besides the point. No one has to know its self-projection if people eat it up like anything else that has her name on it.

Or maybe you need to talk to a therapist more often? Syo contributes helpfully, apparently having become more conscious at some point. Maybe her panic hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she thought. Not that they’re wrong, but talking to a therapist isn’t exactly going to help with her gay pining ( unfortunately, she wishes it were that simple ).

Yeah, that’s not something she really wants to linger on, and as if Celes can read her mind, says, “How do you ladies feel about a bet?”

“Pass.” Touko says immediately, because she is arguably far from a smart person, but she is smart enough to know to not take her chances against the ultimate gambler. Celes ignores her.

“You see, I would bet that Komaru—”

“No. We’re leaving h-her out of it.” Toko interrupts, and Fujisaki ( thankfully, like the god sent angel she is, even if she seems too good to be real ) nods her agreement.

“I don’t think Naegi-kun would be really happy if he heard us talking about his little sister like that...” Her reasoning is fair, if nothing else.

“Fine. Do you think Naegi-kun is going to interfere on Togami-kun’s behalf, or help Kuwata-kun?” A painted fingernail points out the trio by the sea. Kuwata seems pretty intent on forcing Togami into the sea, suit and all, much to his disdain. The duo is yelling, probably. On the other hand, Makoto just looks like he doesn’t know whose side he’s supposed to be on here.

In the end, it doesn’t matter because by some luck ( or lack thereof ) Togami manages to trip on a washed up stone and ends up taking the other two boys down with him. The heir doesn’t even look all that mad, really, as Kuwata dunks him back under the water in retaliation: she knows what his angry face is, and that is not it, even if it looks kind of like he’s swallowing a lemon.

Or maybe that’s just her and her sour mood feeling like she’s swallowed several lemons raw because Touko doesn’t know how to make lemonade out of all the citrus life has handed her.

“By the way Fukawa-san, about Komaru—” Celes starts, but is interrupted by Komaru’s sharp yelling, which is followed by the wet feeling of her arms wrapping around her. Touko frowns, pushing her away.

“You’re w-wet.” She states the obvious as she makes a face, not that that seems to stop her. “Are you...you're done going in the water f-f-for now?”

“Mhm! It’s too cold in the water, honestly. You’re nice and warm.” Komaru hums happily, and she grabs a towel from her bag to wrap her up in it before she ends up being the next sick kid. “I was thinking we could maybe spilt a snack...? And then we could make a sandcastle! Asahina-san was telling me about shells she saw earlier that we could use?” Touko bites back a small snort at how childish she sounds.

“Yeah, yeah— let go of me, s-so I can get up...” She agrees, ignoring the curious way Celes’ watches their interactions. She mutters something that passes for a thanks before she leaves ( not that she thinks Fujisaki notices at that point, full enraptured by her laptop screen ).

By snack, Touko realizes that this is more of a way of making sure she eats lunch— Syo had not so accidentally let it slip once that when she gets caught up on things, she has the tendency to skip meals. She bites her tongue on saying that it wasn’t necessary and instead pays for their meal because she can do that, she has the money to spare for that kind of thing: and she knows she doesn’t need to, but sometimes she feels like she needs to make it up to her before Komaru gets sick of their friendship.

And if it comes off like a date, that’s simply just coincidence.

When they return to the shore, Komaru drags her off to an area a little more secluded— she doesn’t really realize this at first, simply accepting her fate to follow along, but notices she can’t really hear anyone else. It helps her relax, feel like she doesn’t need to be so guarded.

( It doesn’t stop Touko from briefly complaining about how sandy she’s going to get because of this, which is annoying. And then immediately shuts up because Komaru offers to let her borrow her clothes, and she has nothing coherent that she can say to that. She eventually manages to spit out a no when it becomes obvious Komaru is waiting for her to say something )

“Well, okay then. You can always let me know if you change your mind.” She says, then, “Oooh, Touko-chan! It looks like there are tide pools over here!”

Komaru leaves her to pick out shells for them to use while she does the dirty work of constructing a sand castle. “So you won’t end up too sandy,” she explains. “And I trust your eyes to pick out nice shells.” She can’t really complain— although she almost makes a scathing comment about the fact that her eyes can't really be trusted when she wears glasses— and just keeps away from the waves for the most part. The water laps at her feet while she lingers around the tide pool, and then returns with the fruits of her search.

It’s...not an awfully constructed sand castle. Well, that’s probably more than a little generous to say. You know, if she was going to compare it to something kids made. As it stands ( or doesn’t, if Touko is being honest ), it’s probably not the most...concretely built and looks like part of the base might fall apart at any moment, but doesn’t say anything as she dumps an assortment of shells at her feet. And then pulls out a towel, so she can sit and watch her work. It feels like there’s another problem with this, but she can’t quite place what it is; it’s probably not important enough to point out.

Going back to the novel idea: maybe it’s not about a siren after all. Maybe it’s about a sea princess instead. A lonely girl drowning in the waters called home, in a lonely castle, and—

“Here you go!” Komaru plops a shell into her hand with no warning and beams at her. “It’s nice and pretty just like you, Touko-chan. So you should keep it!”

She definitely doesn’t almost tear up upon hearing that, swallowing thickly as she bites back a self-deprecating, Are you sure it’s not just ugly like me? Instead, she picks out a small shell from the pile and holds it out to her.

“...H-H-Here. Completely plain and, and average like you.” And cute, but that’s not important. Still, Komaru looks like she’s actually said something of worth as she throws her arms around her neck.

“Thank you! I’ll take good care of it.” She acts like she’s given her a houseplant or something of actual value, and not a shell.

Stiffly— because she still really doesn’t know how to respond in these kinds of moments, despite being friends for a few odd months now— Touko pats her back and mutters, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is!” Komaru pouts at her. “It is to me. Isn’t that enough?”

She opens her mouth to point out that she’d really just been reciprocating a gesture, but the wave crashing over them interrupts the conversation— oh yeah, she thinks absently. That’d been the other problem that she’d noticed when Komaru had started building, but hadn’t thought it was a big enough issue to point out.

Once she processes that yes, that happens, her first thought is how cold she is now, soaked to the bone. Touko represses a shudder and tries to ignore the fact that she will need to shower later because salt water gets itchy. The second thing that occurs to her, in the midst of this, is that now Komaru is wailing into her shoulder.

“I should’ve been more careful, I’m sorry Touko-chan! You’re okay? You aren’t upset, are you? I thought th—” Touko leans forward to cut her off. Her lips taste like salt, and vaguely reminiscent of the sweet snack Komaru had coaxed her into splitting. She wants to bite down on her lip, a nervous habit, and pulls back before she can accidentally manage to bite the other’s lips instead. The implications of that are a lot more than she’s willing to handle right now, and averts her gaze as soon as she leans back, so she does not have to acknowledge her actions.

That doesn’t stop Komaru from throwing her arms around her a little too eagerly, a grunt at the impact of their bodies colliding. “Too m-much.” Touko manages to wheeze out, and before she can start apologizing again, follows with, “I’m not upset. I should probably just...just buy something overpriced from one of th-the nearby shops since our clothes are soaked now...”

She takes this in fairly good stride, jumping to her feet and pulling her up by her hands. “Can I pick out an outfit for you? It’ll be fun!”

Their ideas of fun are very different quite frankly, but considering Komaru won’t overthink her appearance like she does, thus meaning it’ll be more time efficient. And quite frankly, she’s tired, so she just agrees. On the condition they can just go take a nap in the car afterwards.

Touko doesn’t quite agree with Komaru’s fashion choices, but she picks out clothes that cover up everything that needs to be hidden, so she can’t exactly complain. Nor does she complain when they do less napping and more snuggling in the backseat. Which means on the ride back, Komaru ends up falling asleep on her shoulder. She thinks about how pretty she looks in the light of the sunset.

Maybe she can rethink her next novel being a romantic tragedy.

#tokomaru week 2021 #toukomaru #tokomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes

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opalgelance · 4 years

Text

thoughts on steven universe future

td;lr overall opinion: steven universe future is better than most of the original steven universe, especially seasons 3-5, but there are still some real iffy plotlines in future

i hate that the diamonds were redeemed but at the same time, the happy clouds blue and yellow putting gems back together scenes were so pure

it simultaneously warms my heart and infuriates me

but we finally got a blue diamond song, god i love her voice

EDIT: also steven basically tortured white diamond and nearly killed her and it was pretty disturbing bc steven is 1. in a really bad mental state, like way darker than i thought they’d show him go, since this is technically a kids show and 2. was also kind of trying to hurt himself, which both hit me really hard bc i had similar periods of blazing anger, wanting to self harm and harm others that i felt had wronged me when i was a teenager, but its also what white deserves

ncsndlljklkcndkls i want to enjoy this show so bad but,,, steven having ptsd makes him a violent douche??? diamonds killed who knows how many gems in their reign and never really felt bad about it in original su but now they’re supportive life coaches??? no thank you

on more positive notes, i loved how priyanka described mental health and how she treated steven throughout the entire check up, she was so nonconfrontational and whenever he felt stressed she deescalated the situation,,, it was so good

the animation is the best its been since season 2. the poses are clean, very well drawn, and on model. there are more action scenes than like 90% of steven universe and they’re animated way better, like theres actual fighting and motion asjksacbcbj no one is stiffly posed, no one has strange proportions, no one is drastically changing sizes in between shots (well besides steven in growing pains onward but when he does change size its supposed to be like that lol)

i liked seeing the real roses but didnt love it? i wish we saw more of the roses designs up close, and i wish they fit a little more with the other quartzes? it might be just because its era 3, but the roses were all way more unique than jaspers and amethysts generally seem to be. i like that they were more unique designs and had different personalities, but surely the diamonds wouldnt have tolerated that back in era 1 or even era 2, had the rose quartzes not been bubbled? also i get that they’re reminiscent of pink bc she created them, but hippie and superfan were so naive, more so than other quartzes. if each quartz group was slightly different, it would make a little more sense tbh like if quartzes were the entire gem army, but each group was slightly different. i always liked the idea that rose quartzes were either the defense or the healers of the gem army.

little homeschool and guidance were fun and genuinely enjoyable, considering not a whole ton happens in them. i wish townie episodes had been more like them. like you could replace the gems with random humans, but it would still be a fun episode? idk, maybe involving the humans in gem stuff wouldve made better townie episodes, like lars and the cool kids. it wouldve probably helped steven feel more “human” too, if the human and gem worlds collided a bit more in the series.

bluebird was... an ok episode, but im not sure how well it will fit into what i feel like the end will be, where every episode of future featured someone steven helped or affected in some way, and they all come together to help steven when he corrupts. or rather, i guess if bluebird did say something, it would feel more hollow bc steven didnt help them lol the gems and universes were just friendly to them, and thats it. it wasnt as bad as a very special episode (my least favorite episode of future), but it felt like a townie episode with no townies LOL at least we got a new fusion i guess

a very special episode was just,,, infuriating. there was that weird football scene where they just like,,, talk about screen resolution for a minute then play the full commercial for little homeworld we just saw last episode???? i did genuinely enjoy the rainbow scenes, but it just built up to not nothing. oh no, it was something alright. the whole episode was just future vision and then theres like a minute long psa??? it felt like that wacky randomness that would have happened in like, ok ko, teen titans go, or clarence jaskjcbkcjbskb

mr universe is tied with dear old dad episode as my least favorite greg episode. i get how both of them feel. greg wanted to tell steven about how he escaped from his miserable childhood and remade who he was, no longer a demayo but a universe. the problem imo was that greg became way too absorbed in the past. it reminds me a bit of s1 pearl, how she’d proudly recount gem battles and basked in the glory of fighting for their freedom, but she struggled when she had to recount the more unsavory parts of war. and that really affected amethyst, since she didnt fight in the glorified war pearl told her and steven about. amethyst was the byproduct of one of the bad parts of the war, and that became part of her identity, until on the run, where pearl finally realized that she needed to tell amethyst that she wasnt bad. amethyst’s creation may have fractionally hurt the earth, but that wasnt her fault. it wasnt her fault that she emerged too late to fight either. and it wasnt her fault that she existed. sounds familiar to to stevens rant in the van.

steven didnt ask to be made. he didnt ask to be the half gem half human son of a diamond. but he grew up being told about how great his mom was, and that while no one would ever say it, she was gone because of him. to create steven, rose had to die. it was roses decision, but as the product of that decision, steven feels responsible. not only that, but being told constantly about his amazing mother, steven felt like he had to live up to her, had to be like her, had to replace her in the gems and greg’s lives. throughout the series, steven is constantly either trying to be like his mother, until he realizes its ok to be himself. but then the question is posed; is steven even himself? or is he still part of rose? and once he finds out that he’s steven, and has always been steven, he’s still reeling from the realization that his mother was pink diamond. and that really shows in future, where steven is becoming like pink. at first he doesnt even know, because besides the jungle moon dream, him and the audience never knew about this side of pink. this angry, short tempered, diamond who lashes out mostly physically. and unlike before, no one’s telling steven about pink (besides pink pearl) hes finding out firsthand, and this pink mode is basically being forced on him by his gem. steven has little to no control over this form. hes not trying to live up to his mother, or wondering if he is her, like before. now, he’s losing control to whatever programming is in his gem.

but back to mr universe. in the van, greg is going on and on about how lucky steven is, and how free steven is, but how can either of them compare their lives to each other? the similarities just arent there. steven is right, greg and pink were “raised” in very similar “households”. both had their wishes and desires suppressed by controlling, abusive parents. we know pink was abused mentally, verbally and physically (being physically dragged away from the screen by yellow in jungle moon, stevonnie being grabbed and thrown into the time out cell by yellow, when she still thought steven was pink), but greg at the very least was mentally assaulted. but they diverge from here. as greg said, he thought disco was back. rose started a war. you cant compare them any further.

but at the same time, steven was raised completely differently. he was raised in a home with love and freedom, but he was also not given the opportunity to be a normal kid. theres a difference being forcing your kid to do something and not giving them the chance to try something. steven was never given the option to go to school (well in the comics he was but i guess thats not canon now since it seems like steven wishes he went to school?) he was never given the option to live in a house, or go to the mall with friends. the only other kids he knew were the boardwalk kids, but even then, he doesnt seem very close with them. for such an outgoing, friendly kid, steven wasnt given many opportunities to make friends. steven’s upbringing was very relaxed, yes, but it was too relaxed. he needed more structure, and more importantly, more humanity. i always thought it was weird, how little steven seems to have interacted with humans before connie, considering that his mother so desperately wanted steven to experience being human. yes the show is about gems, (and yes, i dont like most townie episodes), but steven was never shown doing a lot of “human” kid things inbetween episodes. the episode never started with him coming home from a friends house, he hardly ever spent time with friends other than connie in little scenes. like he was never called for a mission while playing cards with peedee, or coming home after an after school activity. any scenes like that were either just steven by himself, or with greg, and occasionally connie. but connie is a new addition to his life. how many years has he been doing fun stuff with only his dad for company, or by himself? yknow, “non traditional” childhoods and living situations are becoming more and more common in media, rather than the “two parents in a suburb house” thing, but steven’s life is beyond any unusual childhood any other kid would have. i mean he’s never even been to the doctor! which is probably for several reasons, like the fact that he apparently doesnt have a ssn, he can heal himself, has a damn gemstone in his stomach, and is half alien. but still, thats not something he has in common with other kids. no matter how much love and freedom he was given, steven was raised as an outcast.

i agree with the notion that both greg and steven were both right and wrong in mr universe. i guess they both have that in common with rose lol

greg should have read the room better, realized that his pep talk wasnt the support and apology steven needed to hear. but steven shouldnt have acted out in the way he did. i get that’s the “theme” of steven’s spiral, maybe for the younger audience to better understand how steven is acting? but crashing his dad’s van that gregs been living in for like 20 years? fucking SHATTERING jasper? that’s going way too far to prove a point. it would have been better to maybe mirror story for steven, where marty and greg are arguing, marty is watching the road and they narrowly avoid hitting a car. but crashing the car could have been pretty serious, especially for greg. now jasper, that episode shouldnt have been approved. steven should not have shattered jasper. he fucking killed her. rose/pink didnt even shatter anyone. and if it wasnt for steven getting another superpower out of nowhere, jasper would have stayed that way. he should have just cracked her gem, poofing her in the process. the rest of the episode wouldve played out exactly the same.

anyways ive been writing this for like 2 hours but i feel better letting it all out. if you enjoy future keep enjoying it! it’s definitely more like a B+ compared to season 3-5′s general C-/D+. but please take into consideration future has some themes that people personally relate to, like mental health, and that you shouldnt shit on someone elses opinions that are based on their own personal experiences. especially if you dont have mental health issues, dont keep pushing your opinion and telling people that personally relate to future’s themes that they’re wrong? thats fucked up man

#suf #steven universe future #suf spoilers

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dreamhimcloser · 4 years

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Aeon - JiKook

Word Count: 9.5k words Rating: PG-13 Summary: The Rat was the first in Buddha’s race, which by timeless standards should mean that your family will be much more looked up to than they actually are. It's a damn race after all, the winner gets the chicken dinner, right? Wrong. Genre: Fluff-ish? Also, Seokjin is a diva Note: I’m not really back from Hiatus, that’s important to say. The exchange was fucking amazing and I need time to find myself at home again, but this thing has been sitting on my computer for a year now and I felt inspired, so I gave it life. The ending is not really edited because I cringed at myself. It’s been in my head for a while, hope you guys will like it♥

Your frustration with the day began right in the entrance to your university. You could already feel the signs of the power struggle in the air, along with the countless oblivious students walking right through it as they go about their day. You didn't know if you were lucky for being aware, feeling the signs and treading your steps. Those who belonged to the cycle of the Zodiac were pretty rare, and you were in the bottom of that food chain.

As the ancient story goes, Buddha wanted to hold a race for his departure from Earth. It's ridiculous that this is the beginning of the biggest pain in your life in the present. He invited 12 animals to compete in said race, and they were given one year in the cycle by the order of their arrival.

The Rat was the first, which by timeless standards should mean that your family will be much more looked up to than they actually are. It's a damn race after all, the winner gets the chicken dinner, right? Nah. The Rat was invited by the Cat but didn't wake him up in the morning of the race. It got too excited about being the smallest animal to be invited into such a big event, and completely forgot about his careless friend. That already marked you as a traitor by relations.

If that's not enough bad juju by itself, the Rat was aware of the shortness of his feet and probability in winning the race, so he took advantage of the Ox's gullible personality and rode on his head. A simple jump from his head to the finish line brought the Rat his sweet victory and his successors' despair.

Coming first means shit if all of this is considered.

That's why most people has no idea why some avoid you like a plague. You weren't sure how they'll react knowing this avoidance comes from the ancient sins of one Rat.

Through the cycles, the other animals competed over who hates the Rat decedents most, though you'd think they'd never want to race again after the first time. The Cat was a prominent contester, but the cats in your life didn't treat you badly. Jooheon gave you the same dimpled grin he offers every living being, and even some florals. Hoseok sent you his notes when you were down with the flu for a month without you even having to ask.

For a reason not quite known to you, your enemy during this cycle was the Horse. Most potently shown in your relations to one Park Jimin. He's a silver Horse, which is rare within their kind and higher-ranked. There were other Horses in your university but they reserved their behavior to disturbed looks and nothing more, which didn't really bother you.

It's not that Park Jimin was evil to you or anything, you've never seen him anything but kind to anyone he interacts with. The problem came from the one "protecting" him from you. Since he's a Horse you never tried to actively speak to him but that damn dog, Jeon Jungkook, detested your presence even if you were simply minding your own business on the other side of the room. Even Kim Taehyung stood between you a few times, and he's a Dragon – usually flashy personalities and not that much of a need to handle the animal politics. He was accepting of you if Jimin wasn't in the room though, so you figured it was Jungkook moving him as a piece to have something else protecting poor little Jimin from you.

As always, both pairs of eyes immediately set on you as you walked through the door, while Jimin kept chatting with Hoseok as if he didn't feel the mood shift. Taehyung offered you a small smile, but turned back to the conversation without much else. Jungkook gave you nothing but daggers. The conversation they took part in was loud as they always were, and per usual getting louder when Seokjin walked into the room, exchanging high-fives with the other four like a weird fucking ceremony before he came to sit with you.

Somehow Seokjin, the Snake that rode on the Horse's leg and pushed the Horse to the seventh animal in line, wasn't too dangerous to be around Jimin.

"What's up, loser?" Seokjin flopped down next to you, tossing a small, peach-flavored milk carton onto your lap.

You eyed the milk. "I really don’t get why I'm the only one turning them hostile when I walk into a room."

"You should try being this handsome," he replied with a smirk, placing his thumb and index finger in a V sign at this chin. You narrowed your eyes at him, resisting the urge to smack his hand right into his face.

Your argument was stopped short with the teacher walking in with a shit-eating grin. This poetry class was supposed to be easy, but as you soon learned looks can be deceiving. The teacher seemed to have a special, warm place in his heart for keeping his students at the edge of their seats at terrible peril. He didn't even try hiding how much he enjoyed making his poor students suffer.

And what greater suffering he could bring than a partnered poem analysis paper, already troublesome by itself before he added in the fact he chose the pairs instead of giving students that liberty. That asshole knew how anti-social you were, and the groans coming from the collective of students just made him smile wider.

"Why can't we choose though?" Jungkook complained, his arm wrapped around Jimin's chair. It was easy to guess who his preferred partner would be, and a short laugh from the professor showed he knew the answer.

"Because I paired the weak with the strong," The professor waved his papers at Jungkook, "To give some of you imagination-less people a standing chance to pass my class. Some of you, Jungkook, are in the gray zone.

The chuckles made Jungkook turn sharply back, his eyes locking with yours for a split second though you never made a sound.

"I hope you get Jungkook," Seokjin whispered to you, opening the abandoned milk carton and handing it back to you. "He will probably kill you if he spends too much time with you."

"Since when are fucking Dogs my enemies?"

Just as the words left your mouth ended, your name was called. The professor paused for a second that made you hold your breath – he wouldn't be as evil as to pair you with Jungkook, right? The answer, to your great despair, was worse. The name called after yours was Park Jimin.

"What the fuck?" Jungkook exclaimed, making Jimin jump a little at his side.

The professor looked at Jungkook like he just won the lottery. His eyes were twinkling, he could barely hold himself together from how giddy he was. The pairing in itself was logical, Jimin's weak points fit your strong points and vice versa, but it was clear as day from the mere atmosphere in the room that working together wasn't an option. The professor turned to look at Jimin, "Do you have a problem with this?"

"No," Jimin answered simply, making Jungkook's head snap to him.

The professor turned to you, and before he could open his mouth again you shook your head. You knew by instinct that if you'll ask to switch partners he'd probably give you Jungkook, and at least Jimin was able to be civil. It could only be worse for you.

"Great, so it's decided," The professor determined before going forth with his list. Their group started to exchange whispers right under the professor's nose, but he was in too good spirits to call them out for it. Their small, frantic voices seemed to be music to his ears.

"Wow, I jinxed you didn't I," Seokjin gasped but didn't sound sorry in the least. "Jungkook looks like he's about to have a stroke."

You signed, "I bet he's trying to find a way to make me disappear before I get to exchange one word with Jimin."

Your phone vibrated on your thigh, making you slide your headphones off. "Did you text me?"

"No," Seokjin replied with a bored voice. You hit pause on the video you were watching, though you really wanted to know if the McDonalds worker noticed the twins switching on him as he turned away for a second. Another vibration came though before you pressed the unknown number.

hey its jimin 03:23

You turned to Seokjin with wide eyes, which he didn't notice for a few moments. Words failed you so you made a small sound that turned his attention away from his phone. "Ah, did he text you already?" You nodded. "That was fast, I literally just gave him the number. I thought it'd take him longer to fend Jungkook off before texting you."

"Couldn't you warn me?"

"And miss that?" He pointed at your face with a pleased devil-smile. "Never."

You turned back to your phone, wondering why the hell your best friend is so annoying. You could choose better, and somehow this hate-love relationship is what kept you going. At rare times he was actually a good friend, so maybe you saw through the douche to the darling within. Like, deep within.

Hey 03:26

Smooth.

im gonna cut to it my rents r prejudice n doesnt wnt me alone w/u

so is it ql if we do da project in my house? 03:27

Sure. When? 03:27

im sorry. 03:28

His apology made you frown. It didn't come as a surprise to you that his parents wouldn't want their silver son meeting a Rat in their natural habitat. It's almost 2020 and there are still a lot of… opinions on what new ways the Rats found to mislead the other animals. You could offer the library as a neutral spot, but you didn't know if Jimin even knew where it is.

saturday? 6 ish? 7 ish? wn ure comfortable ish? 03:29

You couldn't help but chuckle at the swarming messages. You always saw Jimin texted real fast and half-finished sentences, but being on the receiving end of that was a brand new experience.

6-ish sounds good. Send me your address, I'll be there 03:30

He sent it, and you had no idea where it was. A quick look at the map revealed that he, in fact, lives in the middle of a forest and it shouldn't have surprised you this much. Silver Horses were known to crave the wild, not at all city creatures. That would stand against the fact they moved to Seoul from Busan, but you guessed education was stronger than their will to be free.

"We're meeting on Saturday," You informed Seokjin, who hummed as a distracted response. "Save me some food."

"As if Jimin will let you leave his house without feeding you," Seokjin laid his phone in front of him, finally focusing on you. "You clearly don’t know him."

"His loyal watch-dog makes sure of that," You rolled your eyes. "Did you know he lives in the woods?"

"Of course, I've been to his house before."

"Of course you were."

"You'll like it, it's a really big house, whole wall made of glass like the forest is inside. Also, Jimin's bed is really comfortable. Not that you'll get to try it unless you'll be a good girl."

You contemplated throwing your mouse at him. "We're doing a project and then our lives will go back to being absolutely separate. His parents won't even allow him the option of being near me where they can't control, you think his bed would be good?"

"His bed is good."

Seokjin offered to drive you there, claiming that the road is too complicated for you to navigate though. He listened to your whole rant about how you're great with directions as he fiddled with his keys. In the end he didn't leave you much choice and after seeing how complicated it actually was, you were kind of grateful. The forest really wasn't forgiving for first time arrivers. Seokjin informed you that he also had to have help the first time he visited, so you felt better about yourself.

Seokjin stopped in front of the house, giving you a knowing smile, "Now you're glad you agreed, right?"

"Wow yes thank you," you exhaled in one breathe, sliding out of the car with your bag in hand. "You're the best."

"What else is new?" Seokjin obnoxiously winked right before he drove off. He almost drove right on your foot, but you assumed the swag in the action was worth it for him. Fucking Snakes.

The front door seemed to loom over you, warning you of where you're headed. Each Zodiac made their own aura around their homes, and this one was new to you and quite overwhelming. You never got to measure the Horse aura before since all the Horses steered clear of you, getting it so strongly at once wasn't exactly welcoming. It's a good thing Horses were prideful people, so logically you knew there is no risk in stepping inside.

Keeping that idea in your head, you rang the doorbell, almost cringing at the choir of bird sounds that announced your presence. Of course Horses would have chippering birds as their doorbell. You barely managed not to roll your eyes as the door opened.

"It's you."

Jungkook gave you a bored look, leaning against the door he opened. He looked you up and down, maybe to be intimidating. You found it strangely amusing.

"Jimin is at dance practice."

"Did I get the time wrong?" You quickly pulled out your phone with the intention of checking Jimin's message. "I thought – "

"You didn't," Jungkook cut you off. "He was supposed to be here."

You stared, not sure how to progress from here. Jungkook seemed to be perfectly fine with letting you wait outside until Jimin came back and he was forced to treat you well. You weren't sure what he was going to do, but waiting awkwardly felt terrible.

Jungkook seemed to sense the struggle as he moved aside with a sigh, "Come in, I guess."

"Thank you," You side-stepped him, bending down to take your shoes off before entering farther. Jungkook gave you a quick look, walking to the end of the corridor, where he stopped to wait for you.

You tried to be subtle as you watched his actions, wondering if he really did hate you. With Jimin not being the room he seemed more calm around you, acting more like he just wasn't sure how to act rather than despising you. You knew the rumors about Rats didn't form a good image, and the fact that you're pretty rare is not helping. When people met you for the first time they were sure they already know everything you're about and had no intention to really get to know you as a person, not a zodiac reference.

"You can wait in the living room," Jungkook said the moment you started walking his way. The light coming from the end of hallway already hinted where the glass wall that Seokjin was talking about was, but you didn't quite expect the spectacle that was revealed to you. The last rays of sun filtered through many leaves, throwing calm shadows over the cream color-themed living room. Everything looked so polished and expensive, you could easily see Jimin in this space. You've never seen his parents so they were face-less figures in the image in your head, but they were loving and kind, like their son.

Well, to non-Rats, anyways.

Jungkook watched you, averting his gaze only when you turned to look back. He looked almost bashful as he took a sit on one of the couches, slipping out of his slippers and placing his feet on the edge of the coffee table. He looked less elegant than Jimin, but somehow Jungkook's Dog aura was also present in this space, as if he's a part of it. Thinking back, you've never heard Seokjin going to Jungkook's place or meeting Jungkook's parents. It made you wonder.

You took your seat on the same sofa, but in a safe distance from him. You awkwardly moved your attention to your socks, wondering if you should have chosen more presentable socks than the Line Friends ones you were currently wearing. You glanced at Jungkook to find him checking his phone, a small smile adorning his features. This could be the first time you saw him actually smiling, as you were usually watching their group from behind. It didn't look bad on him, this look. It was no secret that he was handsome, making a perfect visual trio with Jimin and Taehyung. You just never got to see it like other people did.

He glanced your way, finding your attention is on him made both of you embarrassed. You were used to watching people, your status as a Rat made you learn that observing people from a far would keep you safe from getting hurt. You got good at reading people, and Jungkook didn't seem like much of a challenge. He was sitting so comfortably, he must have been a household member, if not living here. Which would probably be a safe bet.

"Are you waiting for Jimin too?"

Jungkook's eyes darted to you and back to his screen. "Sort of."

"Um," You started, not knowing if you should actually ask this. He was obviously listening to you, though he wasn't looking your way. "I was wondering, do you live here?"

That caught him off guard. You could clearly see the Dog in his reaction, his eyes now trained at you with a soft wonder in them. Dogs were people of instincts, not calculating situations like you. You could tell that you were right, but something about his reaction made you feel like you spoke too soon, trying to be friendly with someone who is not really willing. You were somehow intrigued by him, a fact that wasn't surprising as all the Rats you knew were attracted to Dogs.

Jungkook was still looking at you though a few moments passed. Your anxiety wasn't liking that, making you defuse the situation. "None of my business, never mind. Sorry for asking."

Jungkook frowned. You chose to look at your socks again, so you couldn't judge the wheels moving in his head. Before he could settle on a choice of what to do with your question, his phone buzzed. Quick tapping sounds filled the silence before he announced, "He's on his way now."

"Great. You know, you don't have to wait with me if you have other things to do," You offered, wiggling your toes in the fluffy carpet. "I won't move from here."

"Nah, it's fine," he answered in a casual voice, which you've never heard from him before. You chanced looking at him and his eyes were already trained on you, but they weren't hostile. He looked like he was contemplating, and quickly a decision was made, "You're more polite than I thought you'd be."

You blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Jungkook responded truthfully, ignoring another buzzing of his phone in favor of holding your gaze.

You were having trouble processing where this conversation is going, his easy look showing that he didn't quite have a clue either. It just wasn't anxious for him to be in this position. "Well, I'm glad to prove you wrong, I guess."

Even looking at him, you weren't quite certain what was going through his head. A part of you wondered if the attraction between Rats and Dogs was mutual, and having no other presences around made it easier to sense each other's auras. Maybe he was experiencing something new with you as well.

Maybe he reached out to you with that, and you should try as well. "I know the Rat's image is strong, but I'm honestly not a bad person. I have no intention of harming or tricking anyone."

"I figured, otherwise Seokjin wouldn't be so fond of you," Jungkook lifted his legs, folding them beneath him on the couch. "Actually, he asked me to be nice to you."

"Is that why you're trying to have a conversation?" You chuckled, but it stopped soon when you saw the strange look he gave you. Your mind provided a question that you knew you had no time to linger on, but you had to speak to Seokjin about what he told Jungkook.

"Sort of. He said that if I'll actually try not to push you away I'll see you're actually really good, better than him. Just more guarded."

"Seokjin said something nice about me? How uncharacteristic for him."

Jungkook made an amused sound, and you're ashamed to say it felt like a small victory. "He insisted enough for me to pay attention."

You nodded, not sure what else to say. You did make a mental note to thank Seokjin later. He jokes around a lot and it's usually in your expense, but he really does care about you. He must have known how nervous this made you and tried to make it easier. Being the middleman, he knows you and them well enough to be able to bridge temporarily until you could be civil with Jungkook, and maybe even complete this assignment without too much of a fight.

Jungkook looked like he had something else to say, but the soft sound of the opening front door, followed by Jimin announcing that he's home, stopped him. Instead he chose to push to his feet and walk to the hallway.

"You've been nice?" Jimin tapped on Jungkook's chest, a wide smile on his face. His smile never wavered when he looked at you, confidently walking towards you. "Sorry for being late, dance kinda makes me forget about time."

You didn't miss the slight tension that resided in Jungkook's shoulders as Jimin neared you, but he said nothing even when Jimin sat right next to you, dropping his bag at his feet. You've never been this close to him, but just looking at him you knew Jimin would smell amazing – you just didn't know how good it'll be. The scent that came off of him reminded you of the freshness of nature, like he just galloped through the woods like the Horse he is.

It was quite a nice image.

"It's okay," you reassured him, snapping out of your thoughts. "I didn't have to wait long."

Jimin leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper, "Was he really nice to you, though?"

You nodded, eyes widening at how close he was. His skin was amazing, his eyes shining at you with pure happiness and amusement. He turned to Jungkook and they looked at each other for a few moments. You didn't know what it meant, but Jungkook seemed to catch on, walking back to the couch just to get his phone back. "I'll be upstairs."

You felt like maybe this decision answered your earlier question, but there is no way to know for sure as Jungkook disappeared up the wide staircase at the far end of the space. His departure left you alone with Jimin, whose attention came back to you.

"Is it okay if we stay here? My room is a mess," Jimin watched your face as you nodded. He seemed content with your answer, pulling the one notebook he used for every subject you shared together. Not that you've been keeping tabs, but yeah, you knew that.

You pulled out your supplies as well, feeling very conscious of the amount of attention you're getting. Maybe that's why people who spoke to Jimin alone were a blushing mess, being around him was like being under a spotlight, with absolutely no judgement attached. It's like he just genuinely enjoyed focusing on you.

"The prof was smart putting us together, I'm pretty bad at poetry," Jimin announced as he flicked through his notebook to find an empty page. "I just don't get hidden meanings and feet and stuff. But you've always been good, I still remember that poem you wrote about the sky."

You blinked at him, taken aback. You wrote remembered the poem was well, it was due in your first class. First year, first semester, before you thought Jimin ever noticed your existence. He seemed amused at the surprise in your face, finally settling on a page and leaning back on the couch. You followed, though a lot less comfortable than him. You decided there's no possible answer to what he told you and instead began pitching ideas for your analysis. You were given a poem that you read five times before meeting up with Seokjin, so you had a pretty good idea what you wanted to focus on. Jimin looked at you with an ever-present smile, drinking in all you had to tell him. He wasn't embarrassed to ask you questions, even if he was asking about the most basic things. You worked hard to not make him feel like it's too basic to be confused about at this point, just to keep him cheerful and excited to learn.

Somehow you felt like he really was learning from you, as minutes ticked by and he used the new information you've given him. It was obviously his weak subject, but he seemed to find your knowledge and merge it with his joy to find a good middle that allowed you to work him like dough. The idea you came up with seemed solid, Jimin adding his own, smaller ideas to give it a better structure. Working with him was easy, you bounced ideas off of each other, Jimin allowed himself to joke around with you, and the atmosphere stayed light. Before you noticed, hours went by and you were sitting more comfortably, Jimin's calm acceptance made you feel almost welcome in his home.

Jimin giggled at one of your ideas as he allowed his notebook to fall into his lap, giving up on doing more work in favor of conversation. "Honestly when you told that prof he was wrong I almost laughed right in his face. I'm closer, so I would've probably gotten kicked out of the class too."

"He said frogs are the symbol of freedom!" You defended yourself, bringing your own notebook to lie against your chest. "I couldn't just let this nonsense go."

"I know you couldn't," Jimin leaned his head against the sofa, eyeing you with a smile. "I noticed you're not shy to say what you wanna."

"You noticed?" You shifted, bringing your legs up between your body and Jimin's, leaning your head the way he did.

Jimin hummed, looking at your legs before returning to you. "Maybe I don't look like it, but I'm pretty observant. And being a Rat, you were interesting to me."

You willed your face not to blush, deeming it too embarrassing. "You wanted to watch the enemy?"

"I wanted to watch the possible friend," Jimin corrected with not a bit of shame. "I don't believe in that Zodiac enemy stuff, it's stupid to judge for something that was done millions of years ago. The fact is you've never been not nice to anyone who didn't deserve it. You're frank and your thoughts are heard, but there's nothing wrong about that. I think you're really funny, and nice, and a good person to be around."

You found no words to reply with, so you simply stared at him. Your lack of response didn't matter to Jimin as he leaned closer, the same amused glitter in his eye. "I'm glad I get to see I'm right."

"Ah," Jungkook's voice came from the stairs, making both of you jump a little farther away from each other. You looked at the newcomer in alarm, expecting him to explode at you for even daring to come so close to Jimin. His eyes were trained on you and he seemed conflicted, but when they moved to Jimin they softened immediately. You noticed Jimin had this kind of effect on him, like he was easily softening Jungkook's rough edges.

"I'm kind of hungry, what are we ordering?" Was his chosen response. Jimin didn't miss a beat in naming a restaurant that you weren’t familiar with. Jungkook slurped and rolled his eyes but didn't argue, which lead you to believe this response was quite popular with Jimin.

"Is there anything you can't eat?" You turned to confirm that Jimin was talking to you, shaking your head as a response. You remembered Seokjin being clear on Jimin liking to feed people, so you weren't really surprised when it came true right before you.

When Jungkook was busy ordering the food, Jimin declared that "study time is over". He turned the TV on and flicked through Netflix, asking for your opinion on which movie to watch. "I'd ask Jungkook but he'd probably say a Marvel movie," Jimin giggled, flicking past another rom-com.

"I like Marvel," you commented.

"I know, Spiderman is your phone background," you snapped your head in his direction just to catch his victorious smile. "Observant, I told you."

"Marvel movies are great, you're not wrong," Jungkook affirmed, throwing himself on Jimin's other side.

"But we can watch something else once in a while," Jimin whined, throwing one of his legs across Jungkook's, who naturally moved his hand to rest on Jimin's thigh, close to his knee. You felt Jimin's eyes on you, which told you he noticed you saw but didn't move Jungkook's hand away. You felt like it was a hint, but the situation made you so embarrassed you refused to think about it.

"How about this?" Jimin paused on a movie starring Ryan Reynolds, which you agreed to immediately. Again, your reaction was not missed by the others. Jimin didn't wait for Jungkook's approval to start the movie, settling against the other as the movie started. When the food arrived Jungkook stood up immediately, throwing the whining Jimin's leg off of him in the process.

"Does our skinship bother you?" Jimin asked immediately when Jungkook was out of earshot.

"Nope."

"Good," Jimin's hand came down twice on yours, a contact you weren't expecting. Jimin giggled at the look on your face, but nothing else could be said as Jungkook came back into the room. The rest of your visit held the same kind of calmness, until Seokjin called you to tell you he's waiting outside, liberating you to think without anyone watching you.

Jimin texted you when you were on the way back, asking you if you're free to meet again soon. Seokjin was telling you a very long story through the entire time you were texting, and you were only half listening. He noticed, but didn't mind much.

"Hey Jin," you lowered your phone, intentionally interrupting him in the middle of a sentence. He stopped with a huff, but didn't complain farther, which gave you the okay to continue. "What did you say to Jungkook? He said you asked him to be nice to me."

"Just that."

"Shut up, I know you," You watched him, examining his face. You knew this boy too well, he knew exactly what you were referring to and he wasn't going to let it go easily. "What did you say?" You insisted.

"Honestly? Not much," He shrugged his shoulders, fingers lightly tapping on the wheel. "I called to ask him to be civil because you didn't choose this either. The important part of the conversation," Seokjin paused just to be dramatic, his finger pointing at your face for emphasis. "is what he said. And before you start pushing, I promised him whatever he says is safe with me."

You whined but knew your best friend too well to assume anything you can do will get him to change his mind. He was sassy but trustworthy, and if he promised Jungkook he won't say anything, he won't even break down for you.

The second time you came to Jimin's house, you drove your own car. You were a lot less nervous than the first time since you kind of knew what you were walking into. The birds at the doorway seemed welcoming now, and Jungkook even gave a small smile as he opened the door.

"He was too lazy to get up," he said as a way of explaining, leaving you to get out of your shoes since you already knew where to go. You followed shortly after him, just a little surprised to see Jungkook's stuff were spread next to Jimin's.

"Y/N!" Jimin threw his arms up from the spot where he was laying on the sofa. He just barely pushed himself into a sitting position to give you space to sit besides him. "Are you okay with Jungkook staying with us?"

"Of course," You responded, pulling your notebook out.

"Good," Jimin's hand came down on yours again, with Jungkook watching but not saying a word. "He could use some help as well, he got partnered with that Kris guy that is too cool for school."

"Jimin," Jungkook's voice held a warning that Jimin simply swatted away.

"It's just Y/N, it's fine. She'll help you not to fail," Jimin grinned at Jungkook before turning the same grin to you. "Spending half the time on our assignment and half on his is okay?"

"Sure," You smiled back, daring to smile at Jungkook as well. He stared back, and only managed to chuckle when he turned away from you.

"Great!" Jimin clapped, opening his notebook to show you he already progressed with your ideas. You pulled it from his hands, examining what he wrote down to find he did a pretty good job. You were kind of surprised to see the improvement. Jimin was smarter than you considered him to be.

Jimin's lead allowed you to slip back into the comfortable conversation you had last time, making wonderful progress with your ideas. Jimin started building an outline as you spoke, structuring your ideas in a coherent manner that will make writing the assignment easier for the both of you, no matter who took which part. Jungkook was watching you occasionally, and you couldn't miss the affection he held for Jimin. It just blossomed out of him with no effort. There was no hostility left in him for you, and even laughed at your jokes.

When Jimin said he's stepping out to go to the bathroom, you simply leaned back against the sofa to continue working on your formation. You felt Jungkook had something to say again, and you peaked over the notebook to see him already looking at you.

"I," he began, and you lowered the notebook to give him your full attention. "I do live here. I didn't answer you last time and it was rude, sorry."

"It's okay," You smiled.

"My parents died when I was young and Jimin's parents took me in," he continued, the rubbing of his hands together showing his awkwardness. You wondered why he was telling you this very shortly, since you wanted to actually listen to him. "I owe a debt to them. Jimin told them we have a Rat in class after the first day of Uni, and they asked me to make sure you don't come near him. So… I went a little overboard. I'm sorry."

You nodded slowly. You didn't know why he was being this open with you, but you appreciated the honestly. You figured no one expected having a Rat in their class since your kind usually sticks together and avoids big cities from the fear of being excluded within them. "It's okay," you reassured again, and Jungkook seemed to breathe out in relief. He smiled, flashing his bunny-like teeth in sincerity.

"Thank you," He glanced down at his hands, still rubbing them against each other. "I'm glad I listened to Seokjin, and I'm glad Jimin was right about you. I was acting so stupid."

"It's – "

"Jungkook project time!" Jimin shouted as he walked back to you, interrupting whatever moment you were sharing with Jungkook. He chuckled and handed you his notebook, which you accepted. Jungkook's poem was a little harder than yours, you could see the complications in it. Jimin helped you speak to Jungkook easier, to find ideas. As you were talking he was writing down important things to form into a proper paper later. The new information you accumulated was still residing in your head, to be thought of more deeply later.

For now, you just enjoyed their presence.

You noticed you're slipping slowly. The first thing that caught your attention is how easy the road to Jimin's home became with each time you visited. Honestly there wasn't much left to the assignment you were doing and Jungkook's part in his was complete two visits ago, but here you were, dropping by again in the clear pretense of having to work on it.

Another thing that alarmed you is how easy it was to be in their presence. You stopped hanging out in the living room a long time ago, preferring Jimin or Jungkook's bedroom instead. They didn't even bother opening the door for you – since they always invited you when Jimin's parents were out there was no risk. You could just walk into one of their rooms, hang out with them, talk about everything and nothing. Jimin always made sure you're comfortable, keeping his "is this okay" questions as his tool to do it. Jungkook connected to you more naturally, he tried things like lying on your thigh with careful eyes judging your reaction but with no words.

In opposition to everything you thought you'll go through in preparing this assignment, this was easy. It was nice, warm, and it kinda felt like you found your own little room in their lives. Going to classes also became easier, since you didn't need to be careful. Taehyung was taken aback when Jungkook called you to land a perfectly good joke and earn your laughter, and Hoseok accepted it without question. Seokjin proposed moving closer to them in the class-space, but Jimin waved him off, carrying his stuff to where you were usually sitting in the back of the class. His reasoning was that moving away from the professors is more rational than moving closer.

Somehow even the non-Zodiac people in your class seemed to notice the shift. Of course they had no idea what caused the animosity between you and Jungkook to begin with, but the friendship that rapidly grew between you was a dirty contrast to what you were to each other before. You noticed people glancing your way, eyebrows raising as Jungkook allowed himself to be a fool while sitting right on your left. Jimin tried to settle on your right, but one look from Seokjin told him he didn't earn the ability to come between you yet. Instead he used to stand in front of you and Jungkook during the break, leaning against the row in front of you with each of his legs touching one of Jungkook and yours.

You were continuedly surprised at how easy it was. You kind of hated yourself for complicating this easy routine you had. The most blurring alarm in your head wasn't oriented there at all, but in the depth of your stomach. See, whenever Jimin laid besides you in his bed, his legs touching yours and pure sunlight pouring from his eyes as he giggled at you, you felt butterflies. Every time Jungkook laid his head on your thigh or cracked jokes at you just to see you smile, you felt butterflies. Every time you crammed together on Jimin's bed to watch another non-Marvel movie, you usually in the middle because Jimin kept insisting that if one of you falls it's not gonna be you, you had butterflies. It's like you couldn't keep this simple, couldn't enjoy what you got without secretly craving more.

Because you liked both of them at the same time, you felt biased when you noticed the little sparks going off between them. You noticed Jungkook's affection for Jimin a long time ago, but only when you started getting to know them better did you notice Jimin's affection for Jungkook. It wasn't in the look he gave but in the actions he took. It's like he knew what was going through Jungkook's head, knew that his friend wasn't good with words, and he became his mouth or acted automatically to solve whatever problem Jungkook never uttered. You could see their friends were aware of it too, always teasing Jimin that him and Jungkook are such soulmates that they had no use for words.

They never refuted that, and you believed no lie could cover that obvious truth.

And it made you jealous.

Not mad jealous, not something that came between the three of you. It was just this secret passion to get in on their secret, to tap that frequency that they communicate through and help Jimin please Jungkook, get that same look that Jimin gets, to be in the middle not because you could be physically harmed, but because that's your natural place.

This kind of horrible wishes made you consider skipping town and never seeing anyone again. You were accepted by them completely, but you were still a Rat. You needed to remember that, needed to remember that you're actively avoiding Jimin's parents because they hate you, not being friends with them from the beginning because Jungkook protected Jimin from you. This place that you accumulated in their lives – it's not permanent. It's not actually yours.

With this heavy feeling in your chest you tapped in the code to the apartment, leaving your shoes at the door in the empty spot they kept for you. The sun was pretty nice today, so they'll probably be in Jimin's room. As you climbed the stairs, you could hear faint music coming from the almost closed door – they usually leave it wide open when you're over. You stared at it for a second, wondering if you should knock. You lifted your hand to do so when a soft moan came out of the room, making your heart skip a beat. You looked above your shoulder to find Jungkook's room was empty. The fisted hand you lifted to knock made soft contact with the door, mindlessly choosing to simply push the door open and come face to face with whatever you're going to find.

You really shouldn't have been so surprised when the scene revealed itself to you. Jimin was lying on his back, legs wrapped around Jungkook's waist, who was lying on top on him. They were almost fully dressed – almost because Jungkook wasn't a fan of wearing shirts inside the house. You swallowed thickly as you watched Jungkook's tongue slipping for a second from the seam of Jimin's lips, just to return inside as Jimin's fingers pressed into his skin, bringing him impossibly closer. You couldn't move, couldn't think when you watched Jungkook's fingers weave in Jimin's hair, pulling his head to a better position to kiss him deeper. After moving his head, Jimin's now open eyes could easily find you standing in the doorway, mouth slightly open and your hand still on the door.

You felt adrenaline shoot right through you as he pushed slightly at Jungkook's chest. Jungkook's head turned your way, but before you could see his expression you already removed yourself from the door. Your hand barely met the railing as you hurried downstairs, trying your hardest to ignore your name being called behind you. Just as you reached the last step, almost out of this situation completely, you felt determined arms wrapping around you to pull you against a stable chest. You knew it was Jimin from the smell of his hair as his head rested on your shoulder, adding pressure to stopping you from leaving.

"Please wait," He said softly into your clothed shoulder, his palms rubbing your sides. You obeyed, but only because you had to catch your breath after what felt like running a marathon. You heard Jungkook's familiar, heavier steps coming down the stairs, though he was a lot slower than Jimin. He stopped close by, but not close enough for you to see him.

"Y/N," Jimin pleaded with the sound of your name, making your heart ache. You could make out tinkers of regret in the syllables, the pained feeling washing over you and forcing you to place your own hands on top of his, calming him down. It worked immediately, as he lifted his head from your shoulder to peer at your face. "Is this weird?"

You had no idea what to say, your mouth opening slightly just to close again.

"Is it making you uncomfortable?"

You tried to calm your mind, just as desperate as Jimin to know the answer to that. A dull throb in your stomach told you that no, it didn't make you uncomfortable. It made you excited, and not in the innocent way. Seeing them like this, together, kissing, it felt right. It felt like something you wanted to see again, something you wanted to experience for yourself. Just another thing you wanted to be a part of.

"No."

Jimin breathed out against your throat, making you shiver. His hands felt more confident, moving along with yours to rest on your stomach. You could see a movement from the corner of your eye, but Jungkook stopped before he'll be too close. "We want you to stay. Is that okay?"

You relaxed your back to Jimin's chest, nodding your head. Jimin turned you around and you saw Jungkook's face for the first time – his eyes were wide and fearful as he stood there, not knowing what to do. You couldn't help but smile at him just to calm him down, your hand reaching out to him as well. He held it softly, taking one more step down to be closer. "It's okay," you reassured him, finally earning a smile from him in return. He led you back upstairs, with Jimin still attached to your back. It was awkward, but you felt like Jimin needed that so you powered through.

You only blushed a little when they led you back to Jimin's bedroom, noting how messy the sheets were from their movements on them just seconds ago. Jungkook walked around the bed to climb on the other side, but he didn't lie down until you settled in the middle. Instead, he waited until he could lie on your thigh again, fingertips tentatively brushing over your jeans. This was the most Dog you've ever seen him, almost pawing at you to make sure you're not mad. You fought the urge to play with his hair, feeling like it's too intimate after what you just witnessed. Your decision to place your hand on his shoulder instead did not go unnoticed by Jimin's careful eyes.

"How about Spiderman Homecoming?" Jimin's soft voice made you chuckle.

"I'd love to."

Jimin settled on your left, taking your hand in his the moment he turned on the movie and tossed the remote away. He leaned his head against your shoulder, playing with your fingers with both his hands. You stayed in silence as the movie started but you weren't really watching. You were too focused on everywhere your body made contact with them, the memories floating in your head, the meaning behind it.

Their friends must have known about this… thing. You didn't actually know what you walked into and they didn't seem to care about it. It also seemed rational for Jungkook to be so protective of his… boyfriend? Friend with benefits? You really had no idea what to call it. It felt like a lightbulb just turned on in your head, shedding light on things you didn't know were hidden in the unknown. You felt stupid for not putting the clues together, but they did seem to be pretty skinship-y with you as well, so how were you supposed to know?

Jimin's fingers slipped between the gaps of yours, securely holding your palm against his. You looked down at your hands – this is the first time he didn't simply play with your fingers. You never actually held hands before. Jimin noticed your shift, lifting his head to meet your eyes. You felt like he was trying to communicate something to you, and it frustrated you that you weren't on the frequency yet to know the words he didn't say. Jungkook tensed against your leg, obviously feeling the new, confused energy. He moved to push his nose against your thigh, asking for something. Again, you didn't know what.

Jimin lifted your joined hands to place the back of your hands against his lips. He didn't kiss it, just held it there as if he's hiding a part of his expression. You could see regret attaching itself to his expression, and you really didn't like it. As an instinct, feeling like there's nothing you could say to make this better, you pulled at his hand until you could press a kiss against his skin. It was small, but you felt like it was so meaningful. The relief replacing the guilt in Jimin's expression informed you he got it as well.

"Thank you for staying."

You felt like Jungkook's palm, spreading over your thigh, was attempting to say the same thing.

"Yeah, they've been dating for a while now," Seokjin shrugged your terror off.

"And you never thought to tell me," you deadpanned, throwing the closest thing you could grab at his face.

your pencil bounced off of his chest, completely not harmful but still earned a frown. "I thought they'd tell you when they're ready. It seems like they were."

"You think they decided to tell me like that?" You heaved a sigh, nothing allowing the tightness in your chest to be released. Your mind conjured the image of Jimin's sad face as he waved you goodbye that day, like he thought this was the last time you'll be seeing each other.

You really hoped it wasn't.

"I mean, they knew you were coming," Seokjin began, fingers tapping on your knee. You wondered if your sigh made him worry, since he looked not annoyed but a little concerned now. "Jungkook is a moment kind of guy, but Jimin is more calculated than that. He would have stopped whatever it is before you came, if he didn't want you to see."

"But why?"

You could tell there was something Seokjin wasn't telling you. He just tapped on your knee, saying nothing that could help.

my partner asked me to change something you have time tomorrow at 5? 14:10

You saved Jungkook's number a while ago, but this was the first text messages between you. Jimin was the one usually texting you for the both of them, or you talked over in the group Jimin opened for the three of you. Nonetheless, you couldn't jump fast enough on an opportunity to feel like everything is okay between you.

Sure, see you then. 14:10

You were surprised to find Jungkook in Jimin's room, but with no Jimin to be found. Another missing ingredient was his work stuff, since he just sat around on Jimin's bed on his phone. The moment you made your presence known he threw him phone on the bed, watching with as you crawled next to him.

"I didn't really need help, it was an excuse," Jungkook confessed.

You puffed the pillows behind you, settling beside him. "Why do you need an excuse to hang out?"

"Didn't know what else to say," he shrugged, shimmying closer until your shoulder touched his arm.

You chuckled, touching his leg with yours. "Just say you want to hang out, it's enough."

"I want to hang out."

You laughed, looking at Jimin's glowing stars stuck to the ceiling. The silence wasn't uncomfortable like you feared but pleasant. Jungkook's leg touched yours a few times, but the touch didn't remain as he pulled away. You said nothing to that either, just letting him find his comfortable place since you knew it was harder for him to shake it off than it was for you.

"I didn't get to spend a lot of time near Dogs," Jungkook mused in a light tone, turning his body more towards you to get your attention. You simply looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "But I heard there's this thing, with Rats."

You blinked, knowing that the look on Jungkook's face meant he was testing the waters with something that he's not sure how you will react to. "What thing?"

"An attraction," he paused, evaluating each altered muscle in your face. "Like, a physical one."

You hummed, needing to look away from his intense studying. You didn't know where he's going with this, but your heart started high-key hammering in your chest. "Yeah, that's a thing. I heard about it, but you're kind of the first Dog I've been close to, so I'm not sure."

Jungkook made a small sound, almost like he was frustrated that you're not saying what he wanted you to say. He tried again, sitting up a little to get a better look at you. Your heartbeats became louder to your own ears, making you feel like you're trapped under his attention though you could very easily get away. "Do you," he began, eyes drilling into yours. "Do you feel it?"

You held your breath, not sure what to say. Just the last time you were here you saw how much him and Jimin are feeling for each other, why would he ask you this now? Do they know you have feelings for them and that's what he's trying to get at?

Jungkook licked his lips in a flash. "Jimin," Your heart dropped at the mention of his name as guilt creeped in. "He told me to ask." You frowned, taking in how much closer Jungkook is leaning now, never relenting. "Is it okay if I kissed you?"

You felt like every muscle in your body just hit pause. You looked at him, at the anticipation he now showed after asking the question. It was so not him, he would just do things when his calculated consequence was worth the risk – they must have talked about it, as you know them Jimin must have insisted this is not worth the risk no matter how many calculations he made, he had to ask instead of do. And he did, and you could see how uncharacteristic of him it was as he anxiously waited for your response.

You felt your body move, your instincts taking the wheel to getting what you desired for a long time now. You felt yourself nod, and Jungkook needed no more. He kissed you immediately, hands sailing from your shoulders to your neck, until they could spread across your jaw and cheeks. You felt him tilting your head – like he's done with Jimin – as he moved his body closer to encase you in. He pressed you against the pillows behind you, the body weight on top of yours feeling right enough for your hands to find his waist, asking for more. He complied, tongue moving past your lips to stroke at yours. He made an approving sound from the back of his throat, and you responded immediately with a breathless sound of your own.

You were so focused on the sensations you almost missed the dip of the bed from your left, where Jimin usually is.

Jimin.

You broke apart from Jungkook, not missing his displeased sigh right before he pressed his nose to your shoulder. Right above his you found Jimin's face, with a wild twinkle in his eye and a wide smile pressed painfully tight to his cheeks. "Why did you stop?" he asked cheerfully, crawling closer.

"Because it's weird when your boyfriend is watching," Jungkook answered instead of you, his face still hidden.

"It's not weird, it's nice." It only took one tap of Jimin's hand on Jungkook's head for him to lift his head, pecking his boyfriend centimeters from your face like this is absolutely normal. Jimin's hand came down next to your head as he made sure his amused face is the only thing you could see. "Is it okay?"

You knew what he was asking and knew that Jungkook was watching. Looking at him you found he wore the same expression he had before, like he was waiting for what's to come on the edge of his seat. He nodded at you, rapid motions that were meant to lead you just agree.

So you did.

Jimin's kiss was much less passionate than Jungkook, he just enjoyed the touch, the permission he was granted to have another piece of you. It didn't last long either, but the look he gave you – Jungkook's look – set your mind at ease.

He and Jungkook shared a moment, both still holding you, and you got it now. This time their plan worked. "We want you," Jungkook blurred out, eyes shifting to you as Jimin giggled against his shoulder. "I know you probably understood on your own, but it's important for me to say."

You smiled at Jimin's fit of happy little giggles and at the blush spreading across Jungkook's cheeks. "I want you too."

#bts scenarios #btswriters #bangtan bookclub #jimin scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jikook #bts

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negasonicimagines · 5 years

Text

Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you. “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”

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writingsofadream · 5 years

Text

Masterpiece | Part II

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Story : He’s looking for heartbreak and inspiration, and you’re just looking for a new laptop.

Set during the writing and recording period of Love Yourself: Tear. Involves angst, fluff, and smut. Multiple chapter series. 5.9k words in this part :)

♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬

Staring at the stranger beside you indignantly, you couldn’t help but show your surprise at his words. This earns a smirk from him, which you can’t decide if you love or hate.

“I’ll buy it for you, Y/N. If you’ll let me buy you a coffee too.” His words follow the smirk just as confidently, and you narrow your eyes suspiciously. The dingy store’s owner gives a low whistle of disbelief, seemingly just as confused as you were.

“What’s your name?” You demand, crossing your arms to close the open air between your body and his. His hard, no doubt fit body…he certainly wasn’t chubby like the blonde guy.

“Yoongi. Min Yoongi.” At this, he extends his long-fingered hand to you, waiting for you to slip yours into his. Swallowing, you reach out and grip it lightly. His hand is cold, and smooth. His skin seems to electrocute yours, and after a moment in his firm grip you wrench your hand back.

“And why exactly are you buying me a laptop, Mr Min Yoongi?” You arch an eyebrow, pulling your arms back into a somewhat stern cross again. It feels childish and no doubt looks it too, judging by the amusement dancing in his deep, dark eyes.

“Because I’d like to interview you, and paying you for your time seems only natural. Plus, I have the money for it.” He throws the last sentence out like an easy addition, shrugging his shoulders naturally.

“Yea, I noticed the ring.” You scoffed at this, unable to hold it back at how ridiculous it was to be smug but not show your wealth until someone asked. What a…snob?

His jaw hardens and a sliver of the amusement drops from his eyes. Whoops. He breathes in deeply before addressing you again. The words that come back out sound no longer lighthearted, but annoyed.

“Look, take it or not, I don’t care. Just make your mind up. Either I buy it for you and get that interview, or I can pay for it and walk away with it. I was here first.” His gaze is intent on you, and you feel your cheeks become hotter with embarrassment. How did you always manage to make yourself seem like a fool, you thought to yourself quietly. No wonder you’d been single for over a year; you didn’t give off good girlfriend vibes, whatever the fuck they were.

“I’ll take it.” The words are out of your mouth before you can properly consider it, and once they were out they sat in the cold air of the shop. A smile crept across Yoongi’s face, and then the shop owner broke the thick silence.

“So, Yoongs, I’ll ring it up?” Yoongi nods to the man, and peers at you as though inspecting you. Feeling as though you’re compelled to say something, you clear your throat and thank him. He shrugs again, as though buying strangers laptops was something he did all the time. You were certain it wasn’t. Somehow, between his dark clothes, demeanour, and his steeled gaze, you didn’t pick him for the type of guy to hand out MacBooks like Oprah.

“Where are we having coffee?” You direct towards his shoulder, as he faces the machine to swipe his Platinum credit card. Without glancing back at you he answers, throwing the words over his shoulder in your general direction.

“Wherever you want, Y/N. My shout.” The last two words come out with a wink, and he tugs his card from the machine and faces you once again.

“Here you are, Y/N. I’m Chaen, by the way.” The store’s owner hands you the bag with your new laptop in it, a grin on his face though still obviously a little confused. Thanking him and promising to come back next time you needed anything electrical, you took the bag from his hands and made your way out of the store. Yoongi followed behind you, shaking the man’s hand as though they were good friends. Grabbing your raincoat from the stand, you pushed the heavy door open into the small alleyway. Noting the rain had stopped, you shoved it into the bag with the MacBook box. It was still overcast and chilly, so you were thankful for the warm jumper you’d been smart enough to pick out. Whipping around, you faced Yoongi and bit your lip. Where should you two even go? He seemed to be thinking the same thing as he stared at you, clearly waiting for you to voice your decision.

“The cat cafe.” Pleased with your decision, you attempt to throw a friendly smile his way, only to be met with a bemused one.

“A cat cafe?” He laughs. “I could’ve guessed, Y/N.”

___

Why had he invited her? Well, he supposed, she was as good as any person to ask. A pretty girl like her? Surely she’s had her heart broken by some obnoxious jock at least once in her lifetime. And if he wasn’t any good at the questions, it was only a loss of a few thousand won that he wouldn’t miss. Plus, he would know not to do any more of them. That’s what this is then, he decided. An experiment.

She sits across from him, a white and brown kitten on her lap. Sinking into her oversized lilac jumper, the kitten seems to be falling asleep, much to her delight. Looking down at the little animal and stroking its small ears with her delicate fingers, Yoongi feels something tighten in his chest. A strand of her hair falls into her eyes and she tucks the unruly piece back behind her ear. Looking up, she meets his eyes and he coughs in a not-so-subtle attempt to hide his blatant staring.

“So, what’s this interview anyway?” Her voice is pretty and light, and Yoongi thinks for a second before answering. He has to be careful with what he says, especially since she seems unaware of who he is. She’d been a little confused at being ushered to the back and tucked away in a little booth - luckily he’d managed to convince her the rest of the cafe was too loud to record properly.

“It’s for a project I’m doing. On heartbreak.” She cocks her head and furrows her brow a little at this.

“Oh…and they’ll just be a few questions, then?” Yoongi nods at her question, perhaps a little too enthusiastically as she scoots herself and the kitten towards the window. Shuffling over so she’s directly facing him again, he tries to set her mind at ease.

“I just need reliable answers and it won’t take that long. I promise.” She seems convinced, or just like she’s giving up. Settling back into the plush of the booth, she sighs and closes her eyes for a moment. Yoongi watches her, enthralled by the way her delicate collarbones peak out from the top of her jumper. She opens her eyes again, and his own jump back up to her face.

Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans he pulls out his phone, opening the recording app and setting it in between them. Pressing the record button, he starts.

“So, Y/N, have you ever had your heart broken?”

He’s pulled his hoodie back, and you can see now that his hair is black and makes him even more fucking handsome. His question is calm and controlled as he watches you from across the small booth’s table. Nervously stroking the kitten in your lap, you paused before answering.

“No.” He doesn’t seem pleased by your answer, rolling his eyes and leaning back in his seat. As he does, his hands lay out on the table and his jumper is pulled up. Sitting on his wrist shines a Rolex, brand-new and gleaming. You instantly reach out to touch it, stopping yourself just before making contact.

“Is that a Rolex?” You ask, eyes wide. You hadn’t actually ever seen one in real life before, and no one you knew owned one, that was for sure. In fact, you weren’t entirely sure anyone bought them other than celebrities and business men with too much time on their hands…or rather, wrists. Definitely not dark, brooding guys like the one sitting across from you.

“Yea, it’s a Rolex. Says so on the face.” His smart-ass comment and smirk annoys you, and you pull your hand back quickly. He definitely was fond of smirking, you’d give him that. Frustratingly, it made him even more attractive.

“I can read.” Your retort sounds stupid as it leaves your mouth, and you regret it instantly. Hurriedly, you switch the conversation back to what it’s supposed to be about.

“Why heartbreak?” Your question seems to puzzle him, and his eyes leave yours to look out the window into the pouring rain. Outside, the trees swayed heavily with the weight of the wind, Seoul’s streets a mix of green, grey, and various lights shining through the haze. It was beautiful.

“Why not?” He’s turned his attention back to you now, resting his chin in his pale hand. It framed his face, and for a spilt second you wondered what they’d look like around your neck. Shaking the image from your mind, you motioned for him to explain.

“Love is a difficult emotion. That’s all.” He brushes it off nonchalantly, then turns the questioning back around.

“What do you do for a living? Between school, that is.” His question doesn’t seem to have anything to do with his chosen topic, but you answer it anyway. Lucky for him, you’re starting to feel a little more comfortable in the warm cafe. The kitten on your lap purrs softly, the hot hazelnut mocha relaxing you.

“I work at a cafe. It’s a little quaint, but it’s okay. It’s the best I can do for now.” Hoping he’ll leave your life at that, you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it.

“Do you like working there?” His face seems genuine, and the question is natural enough. You shift slightly in your seat, and the kitten stirs.

“I do and I don’t. I guess it’s just one of those things.” The kitten bounces off your lap, and you pout a little as it prances across the cafe to a couple walking in from the rain.

“One of those things?” He really won’t give up, will he? You look down into your coffee, bringing it up to your lips for a quick reassuring sip.

“Yea. Life. Have to get money somehow.” He sips his coffee, which he took black, unsurprisingly. Setting it back on the wooden table, he licks the drink from his lips. You instinctively stare at his mouth, the way his tongue darts across the soft pink. Feeling a familiar warmth in your crotch, you bring your eyes swiftly back down to the brown beverage in your hands.

“I love what I do. Do you want to see?” You peer up at him. What the fuck? That probably wasn’t safe, right? Then again, you couldn’t help but be intrigued by his proposition. Besides, you had nothing better to do, and the man did buy you a MacBook.

“We can continue the interview there, if you like.” Your answer is greeted by a gummy smile, and he suddenly looks soft and inviting. Just as quickly as it appeared, though, it’s snatched away as he brings his mouth back to a smug, subtle smile.

“Cool. I’ll call a taxi.”

Why was he bringing her back to his studio? He had no fucking clue. As he paid the taxi driver and stepped out into the rain, he pulled his hoodie back onto his head. She reached into the MacBook bag for the scrunched-up raincoat, wrapping it around her body but leaving the hood down. Maybe she just didn’t care about how she looked, he thought, and the rain started to wet her hair. Grabbing her arm, he tugs her into the building. Unmarked, BigHit logos are nowhere to be seen. The company had agreed to keep it clear of anything that would bring attention to the building that held all their personal studios; that way they could work in peace, without the incessant fans and management. Keying in his personal code, the door swung open. The lobby inside was marble and modern, and he heard her gasp at the presentation of it. He hated it, to be honest. It felt cold and uninviting, though ironically people said the same about him.

Walking up to the elevator, he pressed the button to his studio’s floor. In fact, all the boys’ studios were on the same floor. It was a big fucking floor.

The silence in the elevator was palpable, but Yoongi simply felt like he didn’t know what to say. She was chewing her plump bottom lip, and between her slightly damp hair and delicate features he felt stumped on what to say. Usually he never wanted to say much at all, but now he kinda longed to say something to her. It’d be great if he just knew what to say.

He wasn’t sure why he’d suggested it, like the cafe, but he definitely wanted to show her what he did. That much was clear. He liked her sense of humour, her way of putting things. She seemed almost…whimsical.

The ping of the elevator jerked him from his thoughts, and he pointed out into the extending hallway.

“Those are a lot of rooms. Which ones is yours?” She looks at him, eyes wide at the length and breadth of the expensive-looking way ahead.

“Follow me.” He sounds smooth and his pitch is normal, thank god. For a second he thought he’d choke on his words looking into her eyes. He wanted to fuck her, dammit.

Walking into the room was a stark contrast from the marbled floors and walls of the rest of the building. It was unlit, save the grey light of the late afternoon rain shining in from an open window on the end wall. There was a couch, big enough to double as a bed pushed against one of the walls. The rest of the room contained computers, a keyboard, microphones, and a whole array of other recording devices you couldn’t even begin to guess at. The monitors were massive, and when Yoongi shook the mouse the screens displayed various softwares, all seeming to do with music. He ran a hand through his hair, then turned back to look at you. He looked almost nervous, as if searching for your approval, and you felt that feeling in your stomach again. Lit up in the grey, rainy light and the soft white of the screens, he was so good looking you thought you might pass out right there and then. Instead, you felt arousal prick at your body. Fuck. Trying to push it away, you finally spoke.

“You’re a musician?” His shoulders relax, and he leans back against the desk on a rare spot that isn’t covered in sheet music and other scribbles of paper.

“And a producer. I’m in a group.” He points at the small couch underneath the window. “Wanna finish the heartbreak and shit interview?”

“I hope it doesn’t involve literal shit.” The joke is bad and poorly timed, and you cringe at the bluntness of it. “Sorry, my jokes are…well, shit.”Surprisingly, he bursts out laughing. You join him, releasing some of the tension in your shoulders as the two of you fill the air with the sound.

“Nah, no shit.” He walks over to the couch, clearly amused. Plunking down, he pulls his phone back out again. As you sit down next to him, you accidentally read the top message on his screen as he turns it on and goes to lock it. It’s from some guy named Namjoon, and the only words you made out were ‘tear’ ‘soon’ and something about dinner with the guys tonight. Interesting, you thought. So this Yoongi guy apparently has at least two friends, Chaen and this Namjoon. And who were the rest of the guys? Before you could think more on it, though, he turned to face you.

“Can I propose we do something else instead?” He looks nervous again, but this time his eyes are…fixed. He knows what he wants. His stare runs through your whole body, and you push back a little further away from him.

“What do you suggest?” Your voice is barely a whisper as his eyes cut through you, trailing down from your face over your breasts and down to your hands in your lap. Bringing them back up, he stares at you intently from his spot just a metre away.

“I want to fuck you.”

Yea, he’d just said it out loud. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. Looking at her, watching her, showing her something so intimate to him. Her stupid little joke, her loud and shameless laugh. He wanted to fuck her, plain and simple. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually had a good fuck. It had been some girl from another idol group, and she’d been tight and compliant but…not quite what he’d needed. He’d booty called her a few times, sure, but things had ended once she’d figured out he wasn’t looking for a relationship. Of course he wasn’t looking for a fucking relationship, why the fuck would he?

You froze at his request, realising he said it in all seriousness. Shifting on your butt, you tried to push a little further away from him but your back hit the wall instantly. He spoke again, less intensely this time.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. It would just be sex, though. I’m not looking for anything, and don’t feel obliged because I paid for that laptop.” His words take a moment to sink in, you feel nothing but shock throughout your body. But then, something else creeps in. Those lingering feelings of attraction and lust all hit the critical points in your being. Basked in the grey of the rain, hearing it pour down outside, it mixes with the soft whirr of his computers and various electronics. Looking at Yoongi, wearing his black clothes with his black hair, his handsome face with a sensual expression. You couldn’t believe it. You were actually contemplating fucking him.

He seems unnerved by your silence, and moves back on the large couch.

“The back goes down and we can pull it out, so it’s like a bed. I sleep here sometimes.” His confession barely makes its way into your ears as you continually toss about his proposition. Over and over it whirls around in your head, but finally you start to think clearly. Why not? You hadn’t had sex in over a year, and this was one of the only days you hadn’t had class, study, or work in literally weeks. Why not take the opportunity, you thought.

Heart pounding in your chest, you bolted your body towards him, practically throwing yourself on top. Inches away from his face, you nodded fast before you could back out.

“Yes,” you heard yourself say, “I’ll fuck you.” There it was, that smirk of his. This time it was more implicit than the others, the presence of sex hiding behind it.

“Just this once.” You add with a rush at the end, just to make sure he doesn’t get any ideas. He turns his smirk into a grin, then brings his smooth hand up to cup your face. His long fingers take a disobedient strand of hair, tucking it back into place with a calculated slowness to it.

“Works for me.” He gives you a dark wink, then suddenly his hand is gone from behind your ear. Your skin feels hot where he’s touched it, and despite any reservations you had you felt your panties become a little wetter. Dammit. Your body was almost betraying you.

Standing, he started clicking something on the side of the bed. You stood too, realising he was pulling it out so it could become an even larger bed. So you could fuck.

Pushing you back with one arm, he grabbed the underside of the furniture and tugged hard. It pulled back from the wall, the back falling to become the top of a bed. Clicking the buttons back into place, he then reached up into a higher cupboard to pull pillows down. Throwing them down onto the plush now-bed, he also pulls down a single white sheet.

In an instant, his lips are on yours. Kissing you hard, he places his hands on your hips and pushes you down onto the bed in a rush. Bouncing against the soft mattress, you both shimmy up to the top. He pushes a pillow under your head, still feverishly kissing you. He nipped playfully at your bottom lip, his hands now exploring up under your jumper. You could taste the coffee on his tongue, in his mouth, and no doubt he was tasting your hazelnut mocha. As he ran his tongue across yours you gasped a little, and he smirked against your mouth. You felt as though your whole body was on fire, particularly the spot between your legs. It felt like a distant, yet all-too-familiar ache.

He shifted his hard body above you, moving his top half off your body. Pulling off his hoodie, he threw it to the side with abandon. Coming back down, he supported himself with his elbow beside your head. You bit your lip, expecting more hard and rough coffee kisses. Instead, he slipped a hand between your thighs, meeting the denim of your cuffed blue jeans. He groaned a little, closing his eyes for a split second before rubbing a little harder, hard enough to meet your pussy through the fabric. Suppressing a soft moan, you bit your lip a little harder, tasting a small amount of blood in your mouth. Pulling his hand from your jeans and between your thighs, Yoongi reaches up and pulls your bottom lip out from your teeth.

“Take off your jeans, now.” The ‘now’ is said like an order, and a shiver of anticipation runs through your core. He rolls off you, sitting next to you patiently.

“Hurry up, Y/N.” That one was definitely said like an order. Unbuttoning your jeans with shaky hands, you pulled them off your body without a second thought. Throwing them to join his hoodie, he suddenly brings his body back on top of yours.

“Good girl,” he whispers, hot breath in your ear tickling your senses. “You’re good at taking orders.” Fuck, his words ran from your ear straight down to your heat. His head comes back down, his lips pushing against yours again. Opening your mouth for him, the tip of his tongue curls around yours. Now, his free hand is running along your inner thigh, slowly making its way closer to your wetness. Each inch feels antagonising, and the closer he gets the more you feel as though you’ll explode without his touch.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” His order is directed into your mouth, and you murmur back quietly.

“Touch me.” You don’t have to elaborate; Yoongi gets the message. His long fingers start to rub you through the thin fabric of your panties, and you moan against his swollen and wet lips. Through half-lidded eyes he brings his mouth from yours, his lust-filled eyes staring right into yours. It sends a twitch through your whole body, and he presses harder with his fingers. The pleasure is intense but manageable, just hard enough to feel good but not hard enough. He’s teasing you.

“Press against me.” He utters the words so lowly you could almost swear you’d imagined them if you hadn’t seen his soft lips shape out the words. Every nerve in your body is electric, tingling. Rolling your hips, you push harder against his hands and he rolls his fingers less gently. The pressing feeling becomes more intense, and you whimper against his touch.

“You’re so fucking hot.” His words are said roughly, and he latches his mouth to the sensitive skin of your neck. He sucks hard on the skin, and you can’t hold back the deep moan that comes up from your throat. The sensation of his sucking paired with the rubbing friction of his fingers pushing your panties against your clit bring you close to the edge, and you know he can sense it. His mouth leaves your skin with an audible pop, and he looks down at his handiwork with a gleam in his dark eyes.

“That’s gonna leave a mark.” You press harder against his hand, getting closer and closer to your peak. Slowly, he runs his hand away from your soaked panties and back down your inner thigh, and you let out a dissatisfied grunt. Dropping your hips back down to the mattress, you hum against his ear.

“Not gonna let me cum?” You’re bold, but you don’t care. You catch his lobe in your mouth, running your tongue over it and around his piercings. You hear his sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth, and his hand hovers over your inner thigh. Without warning, he slaps it. Not hard, but hard enough for you to bring your mouth away and yelp softly. He chuckles, nuzzling into your neck a pressing down a kiss.

“Not yet, baby.” His words vibrate against you, and he lets his teeth graze over your new hickey. Already turning a dark shade of purple, it was very…him.

He starts kissing his way down your body, making his way to your collarbones before grabbing the end of your jumper and pulling it up your torso. Arching yourself against the bed you lifted your arms up, allowing him to pull the jumper from your body. Beating him to it, you reached under yourself and unclasped your bra, pulling it off your arms and throwing it off somewhere onto the floor. He started down at your breasts, looking mesmerised and hungry. That tantalising smirk returns to his lips, and he wastes no time in latching his lips to your right nipple. Rolling the hard bud around with his tongue, he flicks at it and pulls the other with his hand. They’re erect at his movements, and he runs his tongue over your breast moving down to your stomach. Kissing past your navel, he reaches the line of your panties and breathes out softly against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Hooking his index fingers into the waistband of your panties, you feel the cold of his silver ring against your skin. He pulls the fabric down slowly, and you close your eyes to savour the moment. Slipping them over your feet, you hear them join the rest of the clothes on the wooden floor. Daring to peak your eyes open, you look at Yoongi perched on the edge of the bed, looking directly at your pussy. His mouth was open a little, his eyes hazy, and his breath was long and deep. He glanced up at you, and you started to shut your legs.

His hands instantly grab your thighs, pushing them back apart. He winks at you, and chuckles lightly at your sudden display of modesty.

He pushes you further up the bed, and you adjust the pillow under you. Between your legs, Yoongi brings his mouth closer and closer to your wet and waiting cunt. Then, he licks you.

The wetness of his tongue brushing against your clit softly brings a moan up through your lips, and you press against him a little harder. He obliges, softly licking longer strokes until he’s passing over your hole with each one. Sucking on your clit, he brushes a finger against your opening, holding your right thigh back with his other hand. He starts to suck harder, and you mewl in pleasure at the feeling spreading from your lower half.

He slips one, long finger in, reaching his knuckle then curling up inside you. As he swipes your g-spot, you grip the white sheet hard in your fists. Arching your back, you push your pussy closer to him, begging him to give you what you need. The bastard grins before sucking hard, so hard you clit sends shockwaves through your body at the sensation. Locking your thighs around his head, you start to pant and let out a whispered curse as you feel yourself reaching towards your climax.

He slips another long finger in, stretching you a little as you realise how much you’ve missed the feeling of sex. And this was already the best fucking sex you’d ever had.

Slamming and curling his fingers inside you, Yoongi sucks relentlessly against your swollen clit. Like a champagne cork popping from a cold, fresh bottle into the air, you cum hard around his fingers. Pushing back against the sheet, you can’t stop the heavy flow of moans that leave your mouth as he continues to suck you gently through your orgasm. Curling your toes, your eyes roll back a little as you let it completely take over your whole body. Every inch of you feel intense, electric, dangerous.

As you come down from your high, he pulls his lips from your pussy and withdraws his fingers. You feel empty without them, but exhausted from the experience. Looking at him, you see your juices glistening wetly around his mouth and on his chin, Swiping with the back of his hand, he wipes it off, giving you a cheeky grin and looking down at you heatedly.

“Get on your hands and knees.” His voice is breathless but commanding, sultry-sounding to your ears. His black jeans are tight, his cock obviously swelling against the rough material. Seeing you staring, he cocks his head to the side with a smile.

Without a word, he slowly undoes the top button of the jeans. The zipper follows, the noise crisp in the air. Your breathing is still heavy, and you lick your lips at the sight of his bulging cock pressing against his black Calvins. He slips the jeans down first, and they pool down at his knees. Then, he teases you with a knowing look and he tugs down his underwear, his dick bouncing out. Holy. Shit.

Remembering his order, you flipped yourself onto all fours, pushing a pillow under your elbows. Feeling nothing, you look back over your shoulder at Yoongi. He’s pulling his wallet out from the back pocket of his jeans, fishing a condom out of one of the compartments. Wishin a couple of heartbeats he chucks the wallet to the floor, ripping open the foiled packet. Staring, you felt yourself get even more turned on at the sight of him rolling it down his length, all the way to the base. Seeing you watching, he moved forward and grabbed your hips roughly, jolting you back. He slapped your ass, lightly.

“Can I slap your ass hard?” The question is new to you, something you’ve never really done with your exes. Without hesitating or thinking, you agree. You want it. You want it so fucking badly.

The slap to your ass stings, and you cry out a little but bounce back towards his cock. You hear the soft murmur of “fuck” escape his lips, and he smacks you again. This time is harder, enough to bring tears to the corners of your eyes. As if knowing this is enough, Yoongi runs himself along your soaked slit, making sure to rub over your abused clit. Grabbing the pillow hard, you push back against him in a desperate attempt to have him finally fill you.

Grabbing your ass cheeks and squeezing hard, he pulls your body back and buries himself in your pussy. Slamming in all the way to the hilt, you both exclaim loudly at the explicit feeling. You moan sensually, while he grunts deeply. He doesn’t take more than a second, knowing you can handle it, before he’s slamming in and out of you hard. The slapping sound of your bodies meeting fills the studio, matching your moans with each harsh thrust. Gripping your hips, his fingers dig into your flesh as you bounce against him.

“Holy…fuck” you manage to gasp out, your eyelids fluttering at the feelings rushing from your core. He takes a hand from your hip and grabs a handful of your hair instead, pulling you even further back. His pulling is light, and doesn’t hurt your skull, but it’s enough to encourage you to move back harder.

“I’m gonna fucking cum.” His words are said through gritted teeth, and you realise you’re closer to your second orgasm than you thought. Whispering “me too” into the thick air, you feel him drop your hair as he brings his hand down on your ass, slapping it harder than the previous ones. The mix of pleasure and pain brings you right over the edge, without him needing to even brush against your clit. Clenching around him, you cum, screaming your release. He reaches under you and grabs a handful of your tit as he finishes, banging in and out of your trembling pussy as it clenches him tight. He starts to slow as he rides out the end of his own orgasm, breathing heavily. His long breaths continue as he pulls out of you, hopping off the end of the bed. You feel a tinge of sadness at the loss, almost wanting him to have stayed in you; even if only for a few more minutes. Collapsing against the bed, you flip over exhaustedly and prop yourself up on your elbows. He pulls the condom off, scrunching his nose up at the feeling. You hold back a giggle at the his sigh of annoyance towards the rubbery mess. Throwing it in the bin, he makes his way back to the bed, watching you with a fondness you assumed could be accounted to the satisfying sex you’d just had. He rummaged through the clothes on the floor, bringing up your jumper and his underwear. Sliding them back on, he tosses you your jumper.

“Just in case you didn’t feel comfortable staying naked.” He gives you a crooked smile and you return it, pulling the warm jumper back over your skin. You feel sore, your pussy stretched and your butt burning a little from his punishing slaps. You feel good, really fucking good.

He crawls up into the bed, lying next to you on one of the extra pillows. You both slip under the sheet without a word, facing each other in the soft glow of grey floating in through the window.

“It’s still pouring rain.” You say, hearing the drops falling outside in a calming torrent.

“It is.” he says, smiling at you with softer, less harsh eyes.

“Tell me more about yourself, Y/N.” Smiling and rolling your eyes at his predictable request, you snuggled deeper into the blanket, still facing him.

Looking at the girl he had just fucked, with her messy hair, her jumper slipping off her shoulder, the blanket tousled around her body, and her head resting into the soft pillow while she told him about her frustrating housemate and workmate, Yoongi could only muster up three words to sum up his state of mind.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

134 notes · View notes

gionamim · 5 years

Text

BRIANNE TJU, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER. — looks like GIONA MIM is attending AURORIA UNIVERSITY in auradon. they’re the NINETEEN year old child of MADAM MIM, which means they’re from THE ISLE OF THE LOST. heard they’re SOCIABLE & LOYAL, but can also be RECKLESS & FORLORN ; we all have our bad days. people normally associate them with LETTING MUSIC LEAD YOUR BODY , MUSHING A PIE ONTO SOMEONE’S FACE , STOMPING AROUND IN BOOTS TOO BIG TO FEEL POWERFUL , CLOSING THE DOOR SO NO ONE SEES YOU WISHING ON A STAR —

hello hello !!! it took me way too long to plan this child but now that she’s here im so excited for her !! pls if u like cabaret, magic, baking, and bitching, then step right up !!!

[ PROFILE ]

NAME: giona giulietta mim

NICKNAMES: gg

AGE: 19

HEIGHT: 5′1″ (smol)

BDAY: november 2 ( scorpio! )

BIRTHPLACE: camelot

DEATHPLACE: .....camelot

FEATURES TO NOTE:

vk colours: pink and green and black

tattoos of constellations dotted and lined on her left calf: the lyra, and scorpio

dotted by herself

she has no pulse, no heartbeat

she doesn’t bleed

body temperature is cold

her skin heals quicker than average, if damaged

DOESN’T LOOK ‘DEAD’ (no dead skin, no disconnecting limbs)

she actually looks pretty perfect lol thats the star in her heart ayyy

when she’s truly happy*, she glows (like a halo around her head)

*truly happy = well ..... it’s a case-by-case basis

ON THE ISLE: it wouldn’t have been a full halo ... just more like a sparkle in her eye

[ BACKGROUND/ SUMMARY AT THE END OF THIS SECTION ]

madam mim has always been an average witch, but the way she gains excessive power momentarily is by eating the hearts of other witches, wizards, and magical creatures. this was how she fought merlin, way back when. and when she was defeated, she was furious, distraught, ashamed, embarrassed, but mainly furious

she spent years trying to find the perfect heart to consume, the one that would give her the ultimate power to defeat merlin once and for all (petty bitch)

she REALLLYYYY just hated losing and its SO PETTY BUT SHE LETS IT DRIVE THE REST OF HER DAMN LIFE

and it took her years and years. TOO LONG, in fact. because by the time she found one, the creation of the isle of the lost had been found, and she was running out of time.

she figured out that the way to beat merlin was to use his own tools against him: LOVE, BELIEF, GOODNESS. and she was losing power, so there were no pure hearts to be found easily (though snow white had plenty of children, they were too heavily guarded), so she sought other means.

she studied the lore of stars. she charted, planned, and waited for the next fallen star. it is said that if you were to consume the essence of a star, you would be filled with the purest magic of all, an everlasting, and sustaining magic.

a week before she’s meant to be thrown into the isle, she finds a star.

but it’s not all she thought it would be. the essence of the star was so pure, it was fading in her evil hands. in its raw form, it refused to be consumed, let alone touched, by her. so she wrapped it up in a cloth (its light already fading slowly), and scurried away, seeking another way to keep the star and ultimately eat it.

bear in mind this is all just to defeat merlin

she experiments quickly, using millifractions of the star and testing it on different creatures: she finds out that if she chooses the little woodland creatures and let them eat the heart -- and she eats their hearts...she’s awashed with the intense magic.

but how to find a large enough heart that will stay alive all these years in the isle? she decides to find her child. the child she abandoned decades ago, the one where she can’t even remember where she left it. 1 year old, wandering the woods, died in the cold of winter. but she knows where it would have gone -- to the land of the dead.

and there, she finds a wizened old skeleton (elder gutknecht) telling her that she simply cannot take the dead out as she pleases -- but madam mim uses the last of her magic to find a way and now she finally has a capsule in which to keep the essence of the star

she keeps it in her daughter’s heart. and as soon as it is in there, the girl comes back to life -- well, an almost-life. she has no blood rushing through her veins, no heartbeat. she doesn’t feel pain or exhaustion as a living girl does.

on the isle, mim begins a MIM’S MUSICALE -- a cabaret show and dinner theatre. giona is the cleaner and the waitress, as soon as she was old enough to carry a tray of food and a mop&bucket. it helps when your child’s half-dead and somehow seems more energetic at night.

this is where mim’s ego truly thrives bc even tho she’s lost her shapeshifting powers, its still like 7 nights a week, ppl going to HER place to watch HER perform (like they have a choice lmao)

probably gives herself awards

fast forward to 12 yrs old: mim is settling into isle life but still impatient for when she and the other villains can break out. she hears giona singing while washing the dishes from the night before. the girl can sing. and, yes she was losing patrons bc mim’s performances are just too abstract for ppl to like (clearly). so she forces giona to become the new act. makes her perform, sing, dance, every night.

mim almost forgets that there’s a star in this girl’s heart. she almost forgets, until she sees those small moments when giona’s in the kitchen, when she thinks mim can’t see her; baking a small cupcake from whatever ingredients she could find, and though there’s no magic allowed on the isle ... there is still something unnaturally bright about that girl. and she hates her for it.

this ‘goodness’ and ‘purity’ thing is very merlin-y and she HAAAAATES THAT

HATES SUNLIGHT, HATES BRIGHTNESS, HATE, HATE, HATE!!!

BLACK SORCERY IS IN !!! MERLIN IS OUT !!!!!

so she works giona to death (sort of). and tells her she’s ugly. and bullies her into low self-esteem.

16 years old: mim is getting more restless about being trapped in the isle. she decides to take action again. she begins to teach giona the mim magic, which is hexes and jinxes and shapeshifting, and ofc, a hatred for merlin.

but by this time, giona’s made up her own mind about her life. and she won’t let her mother live it.

SUMMARY: giona was dead and brought back to life with star-essence that mim put inside her heart, so she will eat the heart when giona breaks her out of the isle and then she’ll use that star magic to destroy merlin and be considered the greatest sorceror once and for all mwahahahaha. also the star thing is a complete secret, mim hasn’t told ANYONE and giona has no clue about the glowy thing.

WHAT CLOSE FRIENDS OF GIONA WOULD KNOW:

she has no heartbeat, her body is sort of cold, doesn’t bleed, doesn’t need as much sleep

probably if they’re the kind of friends that like ... are genuinely good for each other lmao, they probably saw a bit of giona’s ‘glow’ when she’s truly happy

[ PERSONALITY ]

100 bad bitches can’t tell me nothin’

still a sort of mini-mim because giona also has a very short temper and is prone to just .... never letting things go lmao

hates her mother: found out at a young age that actually, she’s not ugly, and she’s not stupid and she starts to drown out mim’s nagging and bullying

but still, in the middle of the night (bc for some reason she feels more active at night and cant sleep), she hears her mother’s voice in her head and cries herself to sleep

loves music & shows & plays & acting & performing: but hates being forced by her mother to do everything. she hates being forced to sing by someone, she hates being told what to do

hate hate hate !!!!

loves to bake: little cupcakes and muffins and baked goods, and cookies ofc, and bread, she loves to make all kinds of bread and pastries. at least, that’s the dream. on the isle, she’d be lucky if she could find clean flour. so far, she’s only made cookies and tiny cupcakes.

these foods are only reserved for her friends, and they are all SWORN to secrecy that they will never tell her mother

loyal to a fault: once she feels she can trust you, she will never let u go. it’s ride or die. growing up with a mother hell-bent on hating her, she began to appreciate the few friends she made on the isle, and will do absolutely anything for them

still tho she’s like ..... she’s a bitch first and a friend later

loud as hell and speaks her mind and would probably get a tattoo that says NO RAGRETS.

loves magic: CAN’T WAIT TO USE HER POWERS AND TURN INTO ??? A BIRD ???

doesn’t know anything about her heart: all she knows is that her mother tells her to keep herself safe, otherwise all that “business of trying to bring you back to life will be for nothing”.

so yeah, she knows she was dead. but she just believes her mother used necromancy to bring her back, and it clearly didn’t work the whole way because she’s not fully alive

but you wouldn’t even know it unless you tried to find a heartbeat

[ how they feel about heroes/villains ]

giona only hates one thing for sure that is her mother lmao

merlin ???? will be fun to see but like otherwise doesnt give two shits, will probably praise him and send him a cupcake to thank him for defeating her mum

operates on a “if you mess with me, i will mess with you back” basis

doesn’t want to join any squads that plan to ‘ruin auradon’ because to her its just hakuna matata bro let it go why can’t you just be happy we’re actually here ?? lets fuckin run away !!!

[ CONNECTYONS ]

from the isle:

VKs who regularly came to MIM’S MUSICALE and saw her perform! she will hate the reminder ty

MIM probably also hired a few weekly performers, ppl who performed once a night so if ur muse was a performer on the isle pls hmu !!!!

VK friends that giona met and has them try her tiny baked goods

they must love the cupcakes and cookies OR ELSE >:(

now in auradon:

those who know magic, who would investigate/recognise why she glows when she’s ‘truly happy’ and tell her that she’s a STAR and that her mother is probably planning to EAT HER

DEAD PEOPLE TO BOND WITH OVER BEING DEAD

women/nb to squad up with and go shopping with and basically pls give her a girl squad she will fight anyone for you and you can do each other’s nails and just MAKE HER TRULY HAPPY W REAL FRIENDS AAHHH

someone to show her the kitchens :0 and take her grocery shopping :0

MAGIC PPL TO TEST-DRIVE MAGIC WITH. i’m talking fun duels, and pranking people pls.

musicals ?? to join ??? where she can finally play the roles she wants to play, and sing the songs she wants to sing ??? amazin

[ MAD MIM MAGIC ]

shapeshifts into any animal !

shapeshifts their size ! can be teeny-tiny or gigantic

shapeshifts their features to look a little different ??? like can look hideous, or more beautiful, or taller, or with bigger ears -- but can’t change into a whole other person

potions and hexes and jinxes take more concentration, but she can do it

[ NOTES / STAR THINGS ]

oKAY SO !!!!

the star part is greatly inspired by Stardust, the movie, especially the part about her glowing when she’s truly happy

mim is essentially growing her child to one day be able to eat her heart, gain the infinite powers, and defeat merlin

but since giona is the star (over the years, the star became a part of her heart), rather than someone who consumed it, the magic works differently for her. so she glows, and she heals easily, and she is awake more at night. with giona, the star ecomes a way of being rather than a power-source.

if her heart were to be taken out, she would go back to being dead, with no hope of a second life as an undead or zombie, because the star is the only life giona actually has. once it is gone, she is nothing.

giona can still do all of madam mim’s typical magic ! shapeshifting is the big one, and her thing is pink-green coloured animals.

#usoa:intro #dear GOD #this took me 3 DAYS TO FIGRUE OUT #but i goT THERE EVENTUALLY #HERE'S MY CHILD

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magicalusuki · 5 years

Photo

progen dragon sharing, inspired by a post by @goannafr that ive had in my drafts since may 12th of this year! wow i am good at being late

varsha- custom progen

so the colors i chose for varsha.... well, i didnt choose them. which is fully. i was in school in the middle of a movie in health class, and id snuck onto my phone and made an fr account because the registration window was about to close and i was going to be busy the rest of the time it was open, or maybe i was just too impatient.

i didnt realize you could even change the colors of the dragon- i just chose the breed and my flight (wind), and actually moved to ice almost immediately after because wind was such an impulse decision.

i actually hated her colors once i realized that i could have picked them myself, because i would have probably made a seafoam/rose dragon. but now i love her. it might have been cool if she at least had a different blue for the wings, so if i could remake her (and assume she got the same tert) i would give her storm wings. it brings out that gray tert in a really cool way and just makes her a biiit more interesting. i mean, look at that! it look great with her apparel, too.

i chose to make her a fae, because i though that they were cute. i didnt like any of the other starter breeds when i joined because i was a coward. i wanted the cutesiest dragons ever, which is funny considering now varsha is super badass

i had like... the vaguest clue of what fr was, because i was in the neopets community and a ton of the blogs i followed were into it, but i didnt really understand it in depth. fun fact! my original username was twinkling.

exaltation

so when i first joined fr, from what i remember we had... very few tert options. i believe we had basic, crackle, underbelly and circuit? and with varsha’s tert being grey, and yukienne’s being denim... basically nothing looked even slightly decent.

on top of this, i really wasnt in the forums or community much at all- so i wasnt aware that maybe exalting your progens wasnt a great plan, and how special they can be. and i certainly wasnt thinking about future genes. i mean, its been 5 years and STILL the best tert for varsha is stained and i dont particularly love any i have for yukienne! ive grown to like stained on varsha, but for real. even irishim couldnt save that grey tert, and i used to be OBSESSED with irishim

.im not against geneing yukienne fully and i have a few options planned, but denim is not.... its not an easy color to work with, which sucks because sky and violet work together so well, and then you have this random greenish-grayish blue. why. which is why he is not gened at all because oh my god. please fr give me something that makes denim purpley ill die for you

this is his current most likely scry but im still... not sold... at least sky is one of my favorite colors on site! hes still a pretty lucky random progen all things considered, i know some people were truly cursed. they also have a pretty okay range, so thats nice! i brought these guys back as quick as possible and was so excited i got the option so do so.

lore and clan roles

in the end, exaltation gave my progens a lot of character- although i was so upset about having done it for literal years, lol. my clan lore felt super weak up until bringing them back.

varsha is clan leader, but im undecided about yukiennes role- all i know is that he did essentially abandon varsha in exaltation and didnt actually fight to earn his right back to this plane, and she resents him for that. i can imagine they did talk initially about him rising up the politcal ladder rather than being involved in the war itself, and i imagine initially he was actually quite gentle and perhaps a bit skittish- she had more pity for him then, and understood he wouldnt fare as well. maybe she even thought it would help his confidence. but seeing him live a bejeweled life as she fought endlessly.... well, thats just not great. on top of it, he sees himself as responsible for their return, not acknowledging varshas efforts, and he does this despite the fact that there was no evidence of it. so yukienne likely doesnt do much in the clan, and i imagine varshas bodyguard- nevara- keeps an eye on him until or if varsha decides hes trustworthy to help. in the end, he doesnt especially want to do things for the clan anyways- he doesnt feel the dedication that varsha does, and though varsha doesnt realize it hes worn himself. hes tired of lies and a political lifestyle, and i dont imagine hes as confident as he might come off- its likely more a force of habit, and in saying it was because of him they got home, he just more than anything wants validation that his suffering was just as painful and he worked just as hard as varsha. but she really cant see that. in her eyes, hes still sitting on a pedestal, lying and spoiled rotten. even if now hes just lost and tired more than anything else.

varsha obviously is very strong willed and stubborn, and sometimes has difficulty empathizing with others- particularly those she perceives as having caused her harm. shes not especially friendly, and a bit paranoid. still she cares a lot about others, particularly her clan members who she views as her responsibility, and so she pushes away her own feelings best she can. shes more prone to trust those from wind than from any other flight, and is working on her distrust of those from ice.

she has a close bond to nevara due to her wind heritage and time spend together on the battlefield, and trusts her deeply. she also deeply trusts aer, the very dragon that first found her and yukienne, and the only from the clan at the time that did not know of her exaltation until it was too late. she appreciates the effort on her behalf to keep the clan in order and understands aer was also very hurt by what her clan members had done, and is glad to have someone from that time who had missed her.

varsha also finds amaryllis sort of cute and charming.the wind heritage probably helps yet again in this case, but even beyond that, she appreciates someone so unfit for the role trying their very hardest to play leader to keep their clan together in her absence. she sees her somewhat like a little sibling, despite not having a large gap in age.

since mako worked so close to both amyrllis and aer during her absence, she was one of the first ice flight members in their clan that she warmed to. with her optimistic and free spirited attitude, and the fact that shes still willing to work in a political position (unlike amaryllis, who was happy to retire) she helps to balance out varshas negative views of people and also is very useful in giving intel and helping create strong bonds between their clan and others, since varsha... would probably never do so on her own, but does see the necessity.

yukienne, at this point, lives a fairly solitary lifestyle. being rejected by the person he admires most as well as feeling he betrayed and failed her, he sees himself unworthy of deeper relationships. at the same time, he is stubborn and unwilling to discuss and feels he doesnt deserve sympathy or to explain his side. all interactions and relationships he has are shallow. at the very least, he is genuinely very proud of his appearance, so thats probably the one thing he has actual confidence in.

#fr #fr tag #flight rising #fr lore #dragon share #my lore #lore #yukienne #my progens #varsha #progens

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts.

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

#long post //////#the entire first quarter (at least lol) of my life being Devastated By Abuse means i get to complain about it whenever i feel like it

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ohailyn · 5 years

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❝ Half of me, for growth; the other, for decay. ❞ ANTOINETTE ROBERTSON? No, that’s actually AILYN WILKES. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this SLYTHERIN student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/HER identifies as A CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be INDIFFERENT, HAUGHTY, and SECRETIVE but also ADAPTABLE, INTELLECTUAL, and AMBITIOUS.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: elle woods (legally blonde), cersei lannister (asoiaf), michaela pratt (how to get away with murder), sun bak (sense8) HELLO this is my babe ailyn, a pink mess of iconicness and confusing morals!!! just a heads up that this intro will contain mentions of abuse (spousal and child) and alcoholism

history

ailyn’s youth was filled with lies. her parents were skilled liars, pretenders, people who bended the truth because the truth was something nasty. her father said his business was booming, while unpaid bills kept piling up, and he kept reassuring them with alcohol on his breath and an unshaved face, that nothing was wrong, that he was fixing it all. when ailyn turned ten, he had gone bankrupt and visited the pub every day, rather than his job, and when his mother kissed him on the cheek every morning and told her kids that she loved him, she was lying, too. she smelled of others when she came home, and she was having not one, but two affairs.

and so ailyn learned that truth is a relative thing, something to bend to your own will. she learned it from her parents and continued it when she went to hogwarts, where she spoke of her father’s wonderful business and her parents happy marriage as if it was nothing but truth. she learned off their secrets before she left (and they weren’t that hard to figure out, in all truth, if you looked well — all it took was following her dad to work one day and bursting in her mother’s bedroom out of nowhere) and kept them, but added in some aspects of her own. lies became ailyn’s language at hogwarts, and she fed them to those around her with smiles.

besides, her family was doing a good fucking job at keeping the truth quiet: her maternal grandparents supplied enough money for them to continue living in their home, to afford the bare necessities, to make sure that ailyn and her brother would not show up at hogwarts looking like the poor kids they were without their grandparents. gotta love that classicism! :)

born into a family with a history of supporting voldemort, ailyn was raised with purist beliefs. her paternal grandfather died in the crossfire of the first wizarding war and his legacy runs through the veins of her father. her father, who committed purist crimes in order to steal money or things of worth, even after voldemort’s end, her father, who told her how his father was supposed to still be alive and ream the rewards of his hard work, who clung to purist ideals so desperately, that it seemed to be the only thing to keep him afloat. she believed them, for a long time, as they gave her a chance to put herself on a pedestal, and she craved that, when she was younger.

she has shed them at this point, though she doesn’t bother to speak out against it. it’s just that she’s not a very good witch – she’s smart, don’t get me wrong, incredibly intelligent, but simply not good at waving wands and muttering spells – which has put things in perspective a little. being into history and being a realist in her core has also made ailyn look at the topic of blood purity more seriously, and once she was able to think more critically and was no longer constantly surrounded by her parents, she understood how stupid purism is. it’s just illogical, based on #fakefacts and a wish to be better for no other reason than a surname ( i literally talk about this again later on so LMAO )

her younger brother does however stick with blood purity, looks up to his father, is disillusioned and blind and excited and a child, still, but a cruel one in the making. ailyn fears for him. worries about him. tries to guide him but sees no effects.

anyway, her father joined the death eaters, despite him being a bit of an … embarrassment. he used his power as a death eater to steal money and get some of that money that they’d lost because of him, not bettering his reputation among other death eaters, but regaining some of his pride as he relied less on his parents in law for money. ( though, in honesty, most of the money he stole was blown on alcohol, new suits and gambling )

[ abuse, alcoholism tw ailyn’s dad was furious at his wife, at the world, at himself. he hated that he relied on his parents-in-law for money, hated that it was his fault, hated that his wife was fucking everyone but him. he drank too much, lashed out at his wife when intoxicated, both verbally and physically. his anger turned to his kids at times, too, but was mostly aimed at his wife. ailyn despises him. deeply. end of tw’s ]

going to hogwarts was good. ailyn got to get away from home, and surround herself with others, with people who came from different places, who weren’t stuck in purist beliefs. ailyn was sorted into slytherin, for her cunning and ambition. a booksmart kid, she found herself more interested in the library and all it offered than what her classes tried to teach her. besides, ailyn found out pretty soon that she was rather bad at practical magic; she was soon behind in charms, transfiguration and DADA. she wondered if something was wrong with her wand, for a moment, wondered what was causing her to perform so poorly.

it was during these realisations, during her time away from home, that she started to step away from the purist idealisation she’d been raised with. she’d never subscribed to them much, to start with, but she hadn’t distanced herself from them, either. being away from home, surrounding herself with muggleborns, halfbloods and ‘blood traitors’, as well as her whole journey with … being rather shit at magic made her realise how fucking stupid it was

doesn’t fully share her feelings at all times, though, out of self preservation. besides, she’s not out here to fight for muggleborn rights either — she thinks the war is bullshit, frankly, but she’s also self serving as fuck, and will not do anything to endanger herself. she’s very true neutral, in that sense? can fairly judge situations, but is good at sitting back even if she disapproves. will start debates on blood purity, but isnt about to fight a war over it, on either side.

history soon became her favourite subject. ailyn found herself staying up late in the common room, learning about muggle history, but also delving into obscure parts of magical history, wanting to know more more more about the ways humans changed the course of the world, how cruel and kind people could be all at once. she’s very intrigued by what drives people, which is ironic, as not much drives ailyn morally LMAO.

this is where her ambition lies, where her strengths lie. ailyn wants to work under a historian, learn about how to write about history – because it’s happening all around her – how to interpret it, how to connect the dots. she’d love to intern under bathilda bagshot, or someone similar. she’s such a NERD.

her relationship with her family has become strained. ailyn hates her father, and despises her mother. her brother is a different story — there’s more love there, i suppose, a healthy relationship, but they disagree on many things. he wants to join the ranks of the death eaters once he’s old enough, whereas she’s been lucky enough not to be considered due to her lack of skill (in the eyes of both her father and the death eaters in general) and is glad of it.

ailyn is cordial with her family. she doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of turning her back on them but also doesnt want to participate in the large amount of lies that already surround their family. she’s not in the mood to be labeled a blood traitor or anything. she may not believe in purism but she’s not a good person --- she’s indifferent and apathetic and cares about herself and a handful of people, and so she will keep her opinions carefully locked up while making the world her own.

she mostly just wants to graduate, start studying to become a historian and move the fuck away lmao. a new start, with new chances and a whole new world for her to conquer. she’s Tired tm of the death eaters, as theyre just a product of another white man’s idiocy, like so many negative things in the world --- she’s got no energy for it.

personality and tidbits

ailyn is a true neutral, powder pink lipstick lesbian who will drag your ass through the mud while speaking to you sweetly with a :) smile :). she has a mean streak and her nature isnt necessarily malicious but she can be when she chooses to. this streak most often shows itself in front of people that ailyn thinks lesser of/people that annoy her. there’s a lot of those

she’s just ... tired. tired of humanity and all the people around her and the ruckus theyre causing. ailyn just wants people to Chill Out and use their heads in stead of whatever’s motivating them ( their genitals, hearts, stomachs, whatever ). she feels very ... Genius LMAO because she’s such a realist and she thinks she has the world all figured out when, obviously, she doesnt.

ailyn is very sure of herself, incredibly confident --- sometimes too confident ( though she’s of the opinion that girls can never be to confident ) and in turn she can be condescending and haughty. she’s self aware, though, about most things. she knows where her strengths and weaknesses lie and has made peace with it, even knows that she’s arrogant and harsh, but doesn’t care much.

a gamp on her mother’s side and cousin to gemma!

ailyn is hyperfeminine, believes in lethal femininity and the colour pink. very much elle woods in that sense --- she loves fashion and make up and velvet high heels and looking good, but has a ready mind that she’ll apply to reach her goals at any given moment in time. will Not be underestimated because she’s girly. a firm believer in the matriarchy. lover of womanhood.

she also ... just thinks lowly of men a lot. like --- her dad’s a deadbeat idiot alcoholic broke dude and he Sucks, and then there’s people like grindelwald and voldemort and a long string of ministers, prime ministers and presidents that just proof that men shouldnt be in power to her LMAO. her interest in history is mostly just ailyn sighing at the deeds of men and how they continue to disappoint her.

would love to enter the ministry one day and be a politician, but for now her focus lies on becoming a historian, as that seems like a logical first step. also, the ministry is a mess at the moment that ailyn doesnt want to be a part of LMSFKJHSD.

loyal to first and foremost herself, a true self-serving queen. though, if she is your friend, you do have a loyal person on your side who will be ride or die. will kill for you. will bury a body with you.

absolutely adores mythology especially because most stories prove that men ain’t shit and because there’s iconic characters like medusa and athena and persephone and many more

medusa is ... in general a character that ailyn very much loves and is intrigued by --- a hurt woman, mistreated and abuse because of her gender and nothing more, turned into someone who could protect herself, only to be labeled a monster and murdered ... she’s endlessly angry and intrigued.

captain of the history club!! she loves history sm :( come geek out w her

also a member of the debate club!! while she shies away from speaking on purism, she does have a lot of vocal opinions on sexism/queerphobia/racism/etc and is very knowledgeable on political topics!!!

always tired of everyone and everything

loves rose & vodka.

#iidyintro #DONE w the reposts now yeet

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bountifulwitcharchive · 6 years

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I thought I would talk about stuff in my life a bit, especially considering I keep getting rattled by anxieties and taken a back by feeling as if I am hurting or harming someone.

As an adult I take it as my responsibility to make sure my actions are concise, I feel this is how any adult should ultimately be. Whether or not who I am as surefire as I am, hurts someone by accident. Whether it is that my opinion makes someone upset ; I want them to know I am not changing who I am yes. But that I do still care about them. If I fail to do this, then i feel as a person I have failed. Whether this is because of trauma in the past, or stuff that people from online communities made me feel. It does not matter, ultimately this is where I am at in my life.

My in real life is hard. I dont talk about it because I have, and the end result is always the same. This contorted feeling from others who dont know how to answer and feel uncomfortable themeslves. Knowing they cannot do anything, and my own discomfort that they cannot relate. Cannot understand. Cannot know what it means like -- I often hear ‘ Is it better today? ‘ Rather then, ‘ Are things stable today? ‘ I hate that people often feel my household is a place where things can be healed or feel better, that is not the case. My household works on whether things are stabled and held together vs Anyone having gotten BETTER. The job I am getting into now deals with this , and a reason why I applied for it was because I understand. I understand so much what this means and how people who do not have members of family who are disabled like this, dont understand. Every day is a struggle. It is a challenge, but it is so normal what I understand and come home to. However, simply because I am use to it and accept it does not make the stress of it any less then how heavy it is in my heart. Because ontop of my sister being disabled and us lucky that she is communicative. My mothers health is getting worse; in terms of worse she is getting old. And her poor choice of eating. Her inability to take care of herself and having to take care of another adult for themself--mind you for the rest of their lives. Takes a toll on her. And then my brother is getting worse, hes a smart boy where doctors are realizing he too is disabled. However, imagine being told you are disabled at 13 but consciously aware of what that means ( my sister ) and afraid of what you will become. Without going into details; if anyone in this household would kill themsleves it would be him. So ontop of hiding knives from my sister. We have to hide anything ( the surplus AND VARIETY of medicines my sister is on ) away from him. While also avoiding serious conversations of our home structure struggling as to not spike his anxieties. He will self harm like crazy. And its hard watching your little brother slam his head against the wall because he is overwhelmed by the world he was born into. I have many siblings, but my sister steph who is the only other person who lives with us does nothing for herself. I am sure she has issues her self but does not speak of it. And instead sits at home. Falling more and more into imo a depression that my mother just calls and berates her for being lazy for. I keep trying to push her to branch out but I can tell how this life effects her individually and that there is something there she doesnt wanna talk about. And I cannot reach in there to help. For my other side of the family, Where my stepmother who i discovered the other day doesnt realize or remember or care to understand that the reason i fell into depression at 18 was because of what she did . And now I have to compress my memories and ask myself if my abuse was real -- or is this another one of those ‘ Manipulators conviently forgetting to forget the abuse they did in the past to cling onto the future they have now. ‘ By all means fine, she is a mother and needs to focus on that, but for me. Who endures. And endures. Staring at someone who did nothing but break me into who I am today, and hear that she forgot. Or doesnt understand. Or doesnt know. Like to her the past was nothing, did hurt. But forgive we do because what else will you do in points in time --- people online think your own feelings are so valid that you need ruin the world around you to make it worse. But no. Sometimes. You need to accept things for what they are, and think that me in a situation where I cannot change things. Or amend if the issue is brought to light -- to focus on what I can. For my sisters. So I can see them. And for myself. So maybe one day in the future, that conversation can come to light. But for now, we deal with what life gives us and we move on.

That is why that job was too much for me? Nothing had order .everything was a mess. Nothing was put together well and often people blammed the lowly coworkers for the faults in the system if it meant they did not have to get introuble. Then we look as if we do not know what we are doing and exhaustion has hold of it. The system in place reminded me too much of abusive circumstances. I did not have a voice. My back was always in pain. My feet was always aching -- none of this mattered to them and none of anyones complaints ever reached them. They valued their own problems over everyone elses around them, and I understand everyone is dealing with so much but seeing management value their own complaints over others was horrible. Considering Iwent into this with such a promise. With so much of who I was feeling like the brightest light about to conquer something new--the last of my hope in life. Thinking I was gunna change my life .Change my world. Offer my family something better. Something knew. Only to find out the truth of that all; that the Manager coaxed the employees there who I was . Was to be horrible. To tell her what all the coworkers were doing. So she could write them all up and -- so with that purpose and picture in mind to them. They rallied together to put me on probation and everything that I was broken to tears, realizing that--trying hard to tell myself I mattered more then what people made me out to be. Because when I salvaged my self to befriend them all -- to at least face them and figure out why they did that to me. That this was my job life for a year and a half. Lmao? And did that I did, and learned so much about what went on I had... And overwhelmed by this picture of how they lived and treated each other. I wanted to leave. And left I did, but into a situation that was just far worse. Never in all the years of retail I have worked have I ever endured such hell like I had with these customers. And some of it I dont blame them, the store really made them feel this way especially when nothing was right. Nothing as good. And nothing worked. Regardless the complaints I had of this I was stressed and nothing I did and nothing I got from this job gave back to me. None of it but stress and being exhuasted and finding myself stripped of who I am. ANd I tried with my quiet feelings about myself, to say things. I would say “ No I am miserable. “ And say it so flatly and awkwardly to make a point, but everyone always made a joke about it despite how flat I would remain. And then compare, “Well at least you arent management.” Nothing I said got through to them, and I tried. I promise. I tried with attempts despite how hard it is for someone like me to open up.

So yes I left and the job I have now is not something that is easy, Nor do I expect that my stress to be any less. Rather that it pays more and I am with endurance to try something new that might offer me better future opportunities and worse comes to worse -- I find a new job.

Even as this all went on I made sure my life here was as easy for me to come to as it was. Imagine. Imagine.

Just imagine.

If I was truly enduring all of this . What about everyone else? I looked at everyone like this, I looked at what I went through day by day and thought -- What if they have it worse. If I have no heart and mind to talk about what really goes on in length in my irl day by day... What if someone else is just the same? It is not for me to ask. it is not for them to say.

I geniuely wanted to be at peace with everyone online, and if something went on that was so bad by their action. I truly believed; well you cant be as bad as my Step Mother or physically bad as my sister who I deal with day by day. That is to say, I have no interest in detailing my past.

Im pretty sure its obvious my past does paint my anxieties and issues with how I deal with things. Approach people day by day.

And its important for you to know that, to know that I am like you or anyone else. My desire to be positive and happy is to allow for you and everyone else to feel and be surrounded by positivity in life.

Life is really hard.

Hell, right now I am still going through more impersonal feelings while trying to dance my around all this going on. Because even as im nearing 27 -- almost 30 years old. I still realize things about myself, and it will hit me hard. The most recent and most eye opening realization that still rattles me and probably is the reason why. I feel flippant in my anxiety ; is realizing I gave 5 years to my life to someone who did not exist. This person went by the name Logan and roleplayed Snow from FF13. I realized ; I spent 5 years of my life giving myself to this person. This person who did not exist and catfished everyone around me. Including me. Making people believe I was obsessed with him. Making people believe that he didnt treat me as if the private things shared between us were most intimate. That I spent 5 years waiting for him. Giving myself to him. Being patient for him. Enduring anything he said and taking my feelings so that I revitalized the things I did. Said. And would approach and appreciate him more understandingly. So he didnt hurt me, or ignore me--that he took so much from me. Money. Drawings. My writing. So much of my attention and love. He took 5 years away from me that I could have given someone I actually was so in love with and still am. That acted mildly the same -- but actually had stuff going on-- I am and was so in love with that person. And All I could give him was consciously a year until everything that I felt with Logan came crashing down in remembrance. That I didnt even realize why I was really overwhelmed by it all until some how talking to a close friend of mine about everything really. Really hit me hard.

5 years.

I think.

5 years was stolen of me. 5 years of love. 5 years of who i was. 5 years of dedication. Of loyalty. Of patience. Of endurance.

I could have been a different and confident person who really believed in love and not riddled with anxieties that made me remember everything I put effort into didnt matter -- because this one person would make sure of reminding me what my actions would fall under.

Life is really hard, and day by day I still learn things about myself.

And I just think, if you are still reading this. That you too are going through this. And that someone you know is going through this. And that we are all going through so much of this or more. And I just hope you are alright and that you are hanging on there because I want you to know that I am trying to. Very hard. To live and I dont want you to give up either so please hang in there with me.

That is why when the group of people who often harass my community when they do not like someone.

Yes the same group every time.

Had finally had me in their sights its was overwhelming, I had thought wow -- this is what you ultimately came to understand from me? When I had tried hard to reach out to you. To be your friend. To consciously find a place where we can be together as people comfortable -- but no thats not the point I want to make.

It rattled me that it took people who knew nothing about me, to change the course of my environment just like that. I lost the hand full of people from that community I talked too . A friend I had been friends with since I was 17 . Simply because they were scared of being caught in that fire too. It was less about who I was, and more about them losing the safe haven they had. The fun group and comfort they had-- they did not want to lose that.

And I understand that. Im not mad at that, just concerned. Sad. And reeling in the fact that people can ultimately take things from each other with misplaced context. And the unfortunate circumstance that people will opt for this, instead of talking to one another.

So I am tired yes.

Because that happened, that whole thing happened while I as dealing with so much. And I had no answer for it. And that me talking about this is to tell you how effected I am by my life right now. And that it indeed upsurged my anxieties more uncomfortably so and not that that is bad or good. It merely is what it is.

And that as I am now, I am sorry. I am sorry and grievanced because I went backwards and am not as timely with things as I use to. I have been struggling to sleep, and when I wake up feel a sort of touched exhaustion that makes me feel like not getting out of bed.

I am sorry since I cannot roleplay things most often for others that I would love to explore. That my interests as of late have been : what would make me laugh to roleplay. What would make me feel wholesome to roleplay. What can i say to talk to others? What can I do to connect with others?

My mind and interests as of late is more about; making myself feel better and coping through what means I can through roleplay or just talking rather then. Having fun with my hobby like I had been the past few months.

This is why alike on Gawain, my compliant is coming online and constantly seeing him hash’d negatively. In truth I deal with negative things on a day to day basis... I did not want to have it follow me online. If I post about it, then clearly I have left myself open for those things.. But often I dont and am trying to mind my business and roleplay leisurely when things erupt.

I am really sorry, because ultimately, I failed as a friend and as a fellow roleplayer. My talking about it is to correlate the truth but also to let people know how I am as a person. Even still.

I feel sometimes people think you know, ‘ Oh hey Sheep just excuses things. ‘ Rather its just Im a different kind of person from a harsh road of life and I see things a lot differently.

For this I will explain with a more literal example,

Things that many people feel uncomfortable online. I myself cannot-- it is that merely I cannot. If someone is talking about something regarding their character that they were abused sexually and want to explore the meaning of this through roleplay. I do not find this insulting, I find myself glad. If people can find out what it means to have been sexually assaulted, maybe they can also connect with me too? And understand why its hard for me to expose my body ( or how overly okay I am to do so ) or how feeling /sexy/ can be a hard feeling for me to overcome. I often see people mistaking things or not handling it correctly, but I want it to be done rather then ignored. Or treated like it doesnt happen. For an adult, this is how I separate my reality from fiction. But find a connection from my reality into something fictious. Further, as an adult I want to help people understand that difference. It is very bad to feel gratified and pleased by subjects that are distasteful. But seeing it treated as if it cannot be spoken of discomforts me. This is a public place, but it is also a place where you control the content on your blog. By the end of the day, I will pick the things that will make me feel uncomfortable or wont make me uncomfortable.

With such a short example, I dont know if anyone read this far. I had hoped. And hope. These feelings can help others or really understand where I am with my life right now and how stressed out I really am. I cannot talk individually with people because I actually choke up. I have ADHD and often forget if I dont take it slow. And can get overstimulated by the fact that someone is merely listening/paying attention to me. I am quiet about myself because I dont like wide attention.

But that.

The past weeks I have had such support in my life.

And I am trying not to cry thinking about it, but I have such a healthy circle of friends and I would do anything to see it through that it lasts for years to come. Me speaking like this is because of this. Because of the comfort. Because of my desire to reach out and branch out comfortably. To remind ppl of my life, and to apologize for where I am not most prominent and may suck at show casing things for.

I probably will make a more positive post in the future about how everyone has helped me through so much -- like I am just a cup that is spilling about and everyone is trying hard to keep whatever is coming out from falling on the floor--s uch a silly analogy but really.

I am so thankful as much as I am apologetic.

Thank you guys for giving me a home where I most need it. It is why I want to be open and communicative. I want the place I come home to, that I enjoy and need to cope through things going on. To remain okay, to be alright, and that positive energy can still be shared.

And that I want to with all my heart, continue giving that positive energy to anyone around me the best that I can. With you understanding me as a person.

Thank you, if you have read this far. For taking the time to get to know me.

#.´ · ⋆ ❛ ᵗᵃᵏᵉˢ ᵃ ᶫᵒᶰᵍ ᵈʳᶦᶰᵏ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶜʳʸˢ ⥃ 🇴🇴🇨 ｡#tag: vent #I hope that ultimately people #see what I say -- and understand .#But also #that my feelings can be used as a platform in one way or another.#And that people know you are not alone and that I am also going through so much.

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

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What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?

in my best dreams id love to go to bed at like 745/8. but my brain doesnt shut down like that, and i tend to be very productive at night. Maybe one day tho

What is you favorite type of lunch meat?

uhhhhh turkey

What time of the year do you dislike the most?

summer heat.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?

ew no.

What is your favorite color to wear?

so I have historically worn a lot of darker colors but I’m trying to be intentional about making my life romantic and I need to introduce more color.

Are you an overachiever?

in most respects, yes

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?

smaller size, sharper jawline, thicker hair (not a LOT thicker, just mildly)

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry?

mr. darcy omfggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry?

no. never

What is your favorite thing about your life?

that no matter what, God has always provided and had a better plan

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?

as a kid, all the time.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?

in most respects. each of them was good for a time.

Name a comedy that you like.

four christmases

Could you wait until marriage for sex?

that was the plan

What was the last thing that impressed you?

ummm that the plumber was able to get the roots out of the drain as easily as he did.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?

last summer. We were going to get benny a little bro/sis but with covid everyone was adopting animals like crazy out here.. so the ones they had were on these enormous wait lists where you would go thru an interview, a HOME INSPECTION, and had to bring all your other animals in to meet said rescue. it was ridiculous.

What nationality is your last name?

dutch

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip?

ems crack dip with uhhh the wavy lays

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?

uhh hm. hmmmmmmm... I honestly can’t recall

Does your mom know you do surveys?

I dunno, tbh

Have you ever had a serious injury?

I mean, somewhat. Not anything I discuss tho lol

What was the last thing you achieved?

surviving vid!

Would you enjoy being famous?

i doubt it. I’m pretty introverted and even though I get along very easily with people, my batteries charge best when im by myself or home. I would very much like the income though lol.

What’s under your bed?

I plan to go thru it soon! I’m trying to gather all my kile memories and I know I have like jewelry paperwork, cards from flowers, letters, etc. that need to be pulled. :(

Do you enjoy travelling?

Love it.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?

absolutely. thats a long, long list. lots of academic, Christian, honors, volunteer, and youth group types.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk?

oh geez, maybeeeeeee 15 years?

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set?

no. that was never my thing.

Do you have a clock in your room?

No. My old cable box had the besttttttt time light. I miss having a small clock. I mentioned this to mom how we spent like forever looking for replacements after we changed cable providers. We didn’t want red or green, but the white. Now this makes me want to find one for my room. mom has a google device so shes set lol.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher?

I had the most phenomenal teacher. tho when it came to actual driving appointments (after the class periods) I often got paired with this older fella who constantly berated me over being homeschooled and telling me he was going to report me to the state. eventually I stood up to him, handed him the HSLDA contact card (home school legal defense association) and encouraged him to report me all he wanted. he stopped attacking me finally. it was awful. but the other gentleman was hilarious and fun.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite?

ohhhhhh mer gersh i love so many of her songs. this answer would definitely change depending on the week but this week its a tie between gimme more and circus.

Does mind over matter work for you?

in most respects

Are you paranoid?

i can be at times.

What is the best thing about winter?

OOOOOoo good gravy this is a long list. I love the calm. I love the way the air is thick and cold and how quiet it becomes. I love hearing the sound of snow falling. I love the glitter haze it leaves. I love the way it feels like the house wraps you up in a warm hug when you come in from the cold. I love the way candles and a fire in the fireplace make everything so cozy. I love the glow of twinkling lights, white and colored, just casting the most beautiful and dreamy cast on the neighborhood. I love the food and drinks that make you feel full and ready for a deep sleep. I love the clothes and the bundling up, the scarves, the hats, the mittens. I love the music and the way no matter where you go, there are carols playing the sweetest love songs. I love the way decorations come up and people display their much-loved memories in the form of ornaments on their trees. I love seeing the elaborate wrapping styles of packages around the tree and filling up the stockings. I love seeing the snowmen and igloo designs displayed with pride in the front yards around town. I love the way the world gets dark so early, yet.. there is light reflecting off the mounds of snow. I love the way the early night allows for early comfy flannel pajamas and thick wool socks and sleep. I love the curling up under a giant mound of blankets and reading a book. I love thinking about the joy on other’s faces when they open gifts that were cultivated for their happiness. I love the rereading of the beloved passages of scripture where we recall the reason for the season. I just love it all.

Have you ever been truly in love?

yes. 2 times, how lucky I was.

Are you currently planning a trip?

I was not. I probably could stand to be home for a bit.

How many plants are in your home?

honestly, no clue at this point. I’ve been locked away coming up on a month. I dunno how many we have right now.

What is your favorite possession?

hmm. boy this is hard. It used to be my ring kile got me. I feel weird saying my favorite things are from him lately, so maybe my stained glass lamp.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked?

I am a nice person majority of the time and I would say I have been overlooked from time to time but I definitely do not behave nicely in order to be noticed.

What movies have tripped you out?

eh, I’m not entirely sure.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?

nope. I was so prone to breaking my ankles that it just absolutely was not for me. I tried a couple times, but couldn’t grasp the hang of it.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night?

no. this life is way too precious and too short to be spent laying next to someone who isn’t right for me. I have no intentions of settling. I do know of friends who have settled just to have someone near. It makes me so sad. The thought of settling like that just destroys me. Not to mention how unfair it is to the other person. Idk. Just sad sad sad.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?

no nudity.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?

no. I would be way too distracted by that. I also don’t like things touching my face.

What summertime treats do you love?

ummm watermelon. popsicles.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss?

oooo boy im so ridiculously picky about it. In fact, one guy i was seeing for a few dates... i was like unsure of him and he wanted to kiss so bad and I just avoided it everytime lol.

What do you hate most about moving?

I’ve only done a temporary move. I don’t know that it’s the same.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting?

I think that I’d be down for it if I were married, but I think its most intimate when its in private lol

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks?

Nope. It’s just not my thing. I’m never lacking that much energy.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?

yes.

Do you like scarves?

love them.

Is your father homophobic?

I’m not sure. I haven’t got a clue.

Do you take gummy vitamins?

sometimes. its my preferred method

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all?

not that I can recall. ohhhhhh maybe when i was in theater and we needed to put like color on their faces to ensure they wouldn’t be washed out by the harsh lighting.

Who would you like to meet before you die?

no one. those who want to meet me, should meet me lol

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it?

nah.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of?

oh there have been so many. I just ignore them. I don’t see sense in letting my mind be corrupted by that

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?

heaven!

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?

mom!

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?

the bathroom lol

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?

everyone. everyone and anyone would benefit from therapy.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself?

I’ve never seen it so I couldn’t tell ya.

How old was the first person you kissed?

at the time? I was 16 he was ...... 19

Will you be a strict parent one day?

strict? no. I’ll have rules and such but I’m a very loving caregiver... not to be cocky

Last person to stand up for you?

I wish i could tell you. I’ve never been the kind that requires someone else to protect me like that. but man, it has to feel good to know someone else is willing to go to those lengths.

Have you been to a baby shower?

many times.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?

My sister

What’s your favorite high school memory?

hmm, there are so many i loved.. probably the trips.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?

i love being single, but miss the connection from a relationship

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do?

hot air balloon.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate?

freakin math

Italian food or Chinese food?

Chinese. ugh, I’d kill for some if they had GF soy sauce options

Do you like to make flash cards when you study?

sometimes, it depends on what I’m using them for. often I’ll just write like Question Answer type patterns in my notebook and then use a coversheet. I hate losing notecards.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?

yeah but I don’t sing like that anymore.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?

I used to a lot,not anymore so much.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike.

no thank you

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school?

none really on my behalf. one girl completely plagiarized my work and that led to some drama, but beyond that nothing.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras?

no, I’m not that sort of wealthy.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets?

I mean, part of me thinks that its just kinda sad for the kid to not have simple pleasures instead of needing all the finest gadgets,

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?

n/a

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome?

Jalapeños: yay or nay?

yay most of the time.

Did you ever play Minecraft?

uhhhh only when my nephews ask me to for like 5 mins lol

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?

I didn’t.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense?

yes. some people just seem very... unaware.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?

assault

What type of person angers you the most?

those who feel it is OK for them to assault another person in order to gain what they want or to release what they desire to release

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?

I’d want to be smaller. thicker hair. probably invisalign so I can correct my bite.

Describe your first relationship?

he was ... fascinating to me. He allowed me to have my guard down. He made me laugh, he made me blush, but he made me feel like I was constantly safe. He was wounded from his previous marriage but he was.. so worth mending. However, we were long distance and he just wasn’t able to do that. He needed more than I was able to offer him at the time.

Describe your last relationship?

OK so relationship is such a widely defined word. I’m going to describe the last person I was personally committed to. He was my other half. He was pretty vain and conceited when I first got to know him. Constantly concerned with his work and nothing but his work. However, along the years he developed into the most kind, generous, patient, extremely loving man. He changed all sorts of his former ways. He began investing in his character and taking the time to better himself. It was so incredible to watch. We created a bond where he was my world. I thought I was his. but we ended over him having a relationship for years that I knew nothing about. it’s weird, this quote from jane eyre reminds me of him...

“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you'd forget me.”

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?

I didn’t get the option to do so when it was happening.

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?

ps i love you just tears me to shreds over how effing painful it is to lose someone you love.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?

that I was kind and friendly, warm and inviting.

Do you feel protective over someone?

yes. my loved ones. my family members. my close friends.

What perfume/cologne do you wear?

ummm either very sexy night, or refuge.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

a very deep, dark red/maroon. super lovely

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

CHICKEN SANDWICH< preach

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is:

omg i crave regular birthday cake. gluten free cake so far has been quite disappointing.

What were you doing at 8pm last night?

nothing.

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