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tikvin · 22 days

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Durge girlies infodump ✨

Eshra

Bard+vengeance paladin (I call it "got her powers out of sheer hate". Also dialogs of those classes are most fitting for her. She's also not classic Bard tho, doesn't have instrument either)

Is one of the most uncanny looking durges, but you only notice if you look at her for more than a moment and think about it more than a minute. The more you look at her the more strange things you start to notice. The streaks on corners of her mouth with time will reveal to be a wide mouth, unhinging jaw. Hair color and eyes that are not natural for drow. Slightly longer limbs, all that.

However she's a very charismatic person and averts the attention from the details easily enough. She's cunning, knows when to observe silently and when to speak. She's not a prying type, but very perceptive of emotions of others.

Eshra is in romance w/ Astarion, and Eshra detected his lies very soon, but kept quiet about it, playing along and waiting to see where it goes.

Eshra doesn't have anything against killing, however the real joy she gets is from killing those who think they are the shit. Bringing down prideful and strong chars to pathetic death (favourably in most dishonouroful way) is quite the delight of her life. She tries to avert her urges from the unreasonable (to anyone sane) targets to someone strong. She's also smart enough to dig for reasons to kill, Kahga being the best example. Eshra had an urge to just watch the little girl die.Fotr the fist time such urge concerned her, the itch of the urge would not stop if she just ignores it, so she redirects it to someone "bad" in the room, that being Kahga. She digs for reasons to kill and does so, without even trying to make Kahga change her mind.

Eshra also at first "saved" Lae'zel only to wait and dig for a reason to kill her. Eshra attacks Minthara almost instantly, because Minthara is smart and quickly notices something isn't right with her, and Eshra feels thretened by Minthara's prying. She would prefer her to stay silent, silent for eternity.

Jericho

Wild magic sorcerer

I headcanon her to be a very masterful before the amnesia and losing the control after, requiring help of Gale to try and control it (and that's how they get married lmao). She actually might have turned a bit dumber after amnesia.

Jericho is the most determined to stop the urges and most disgusted by her deeds among my durges. She's also a bit cowardly when it comes to her past, so she doesn't pry too much into it, afraid of what she might find. She also the one to believe Emperor. She's a bit wary, but doesn't see Orpheus helping them (the mountain pass was skipped on account of lore reasons, absence of Lae'zel, cuz after reading the discs of Orpheus there's just no reason keep Emperor alive. I will be playing again with Lae'Zel present, so Jericho would free Orpheus, cuz she'd trust Lae'Zel. Which one is canon I will decide after)

After the game events she recognizes her cowardice, and now feeling much more secure in loving and peaceful environment, she does her best to research bhaalspawn and everything about it to help prevent tragedies. Also the only girlie who is a bit bummed that she must avoid having biological children, but she's dutiful enough to recognize that responsibility.

Also the softest among durges, maybe because she got hit in the head the hardest lol, the one who truly starts a completely new and different life after the incident.

Oh, and she's 100% sure Tara doesn't like her, if not hate her

Thalissa

Assasin rogue+fighter.

Very much not a real githyanki and avoids actual githyanki, while simultaneously pretending to be one when it's convenient. With her I'm planning multiple play throughs btw, current one is without Lae'Zel, other will be with her and another with her being Tav.

She's also not concerned much with her urges, or her memories ("eh, I'm a rogue, I doubt I had much to care about anyway"). Obnoxiously smart mouthed, nonchalant, sometimes unintentionally rude. "Heh, yea, I'm a swamp elf". She hides her face usually, pretending to be whatever other race people might mistake her for.

Much like Eshra, Thalissa enjoys killing those who are oh so full of themselves

But she also actually enjoys being around "goodie two shoes" characters, because she likes to poke fun and make them just a bit annoyed, also secretly hoping their "goodiness" will rub off on her a bit, to quiet down the bloodlust.

Thalissa as a Tav is still the "chill and easy going gith". A githyanki who escaped strict military life and lives in material plane, because she enjoys it way more, even if often faced with prejudice.

Thana

Monk

Very temperamental, openly rude, but not in an elegant way like drows are usually, more barbarian like actually. She might have a bit of a anger issues and it's relatively easy to set her off.

Not the smartest one, not book wise at least.

Not very concerned for cultural things either. "Blah blah blah, balance, rules, boooring, are we fighting or what?"

She is also the one who gets concerned only when her urges start targeting children, but brush them off to kid being annoying and the urge being an intrusive thought. She genuinely tries to be "the friendly drow", but the moment she hears something rude with "you're a drow" reasoning she just can't keep her tongue back, which then doesn't help her making her case lol. You get approximately 3 sentences to make her like you, cus that how long it takes for her to decide (however, in certain cases she might get mad that you don't like her and make it her mission to make you her friend)

She's also not too concerned about memory loss, she undermines her "condition" until it takes grave turn, then she's scared, but too prideful to admit it, until, yet again, it gets in dangerous area (act 2)

That would be it for now, just a bit of general info about the girlies. If you have your favorite, feel free to ask about them, I'd love to answer, I've been keeping the lore for a long time

#oc #bg3 dark urge #bg3 durge #bg3 tav #bg3 #durge oc #durge #dark urge #drow #tiefling #gith #githyanki

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evermorethecrow · 3 months

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asking really nicely so you can properly explain? please? pretty please? with a cherry on top? 🛐

SIGHHHHHHHH

fine because you were nice

Every evermore au summarised PROPERLY

1) Yuuko au-

Chuuya gets a kid at 14 and has to deal with it

2) Cryptid au-

Chuuya nakahara died in 1935, came back and is now murderous and evil (and a giant ram sometimes)

3) High school au-

Chuuya nakahara is a 15 year old who wants to be completely erased from memory when he dies, simultaneously he wants to fight with everything to keep living (it doesnt work)

4) Vampire au-

Chuuya was born (wrong) into an aristocratic heavily established vampire family with a lot of not so great traditions. after escaping from them the third time he looses it a little bit and decides to now dedicate his life to murdering them all off, as well as anyone who gets in the way. hes aproached by mori ougai the head of a powerful vampire slaying organisation and joins to help his plans. i also gave him a gun

5) God au-

born as the god of luck and fortune chuuya is stolen by humans and placed in a shrine to bring insane luck to the earth. then shit hits the fan. Now hes stuck as the god of curses (and bad luck) and cant walk around without hell breaking loose

6) Plant shop au-

Chuuya nakahara ends up at a police station at 14 and meets murase (as well as some other cops). Chuuya is going to be given a death sentence but after some less than legal talk with his supervisors murase can remove it completely. the only condition is rehabilitating chuuya back into society, which proves a harder task than thought considering a few extra issues that went down in his past.

7) College(idol) au-

At 15 chuuya nakahara is the lead of a world famous pop idol group. Shifty treatment from his manager makes chuuya decide to quit, however on while preforming his last show something technical goes wrong, the stage explodes, the other members got away safe but chuuya was hospitalised. the world assumes him dead and since he contract is over he decides to keep it that way, content with living his life like a normal person now. until hes in collage and it turns out his new roomate was the biggest fan of him and his old group. chaos ensues

8) Sky casino chuuya au-

After hardly a year in the sheep chuuya is found by fyodor and placed inside the sky casino for safe keeping. now at 16 hes very good at his job and very bad at being tollerant of annoying house guests from the port mafia

9) DOA au-

15 goes wrong, chuuya gets hit a lot harder by the sheep and he ends up at fyodors doorstep (through less than natural circumstances). hes been working for the doa since. Dazai and him re-meet at 22 after hes captured by the port mafia. it goes intrestingly.

10) Scene kid au- a fun au where everyone in the show wears some kind of alt fashion (also theres like the worlds impending and quickeningly near end looming over everyone but that doesnt matter)

11) God+Vampire slayer au-

Chuuya is the (born human) reincarnatation of the god/lord of the wild in an era where vampire-like zombies run wild. he meets a boy who turned into a vampire but somehow remained concious and is now working with him and a shifty doctor to blast gore everywhere try and find a cure

12) Ability swap au

Chuuya has no longer human instead of Tainted but keeps his singularity, dazai has flawless but keeps being anything but. They have eachother. (that could be enough)

13) No Yuuko au-

Yuuko (that kid who chuuya got) never actually MEETS chuuya and instead through a long path of events ends up in the custody of a 20 year old dazai. what could possibly go wrong

14) college au 2 eletric boogaloo-

Chuuya nakahara grows up strict catholic and ends up a single parent in some lousey apartment trying to ballence class and like not killing his child. also his roomate is an annoying bastard who wont shut up

15) Nun Au-

Chuuya's raised in a cult and then joins the mafia.

16) Pokemon au Red-

All the bsd charecters live in the world of pokemon. chuuyas a gym leader and secretly a team rocket executive following his bosses order to prevent some kid finding mew

17) Pokemon au Blue-

Pokemon exist in the bsd verse! Canon except they all have pokemon to fight with and chuuya may or may not be spiritually connected to a lucario

18) Demon ability au-

Instead of tainted sorrow chuuya has an ability reminiscent of kouyou and kyoukas. (hes still got that singularity unfortunatly but this time its in a huge fucking demon?) his role in the pm changes acordingly

19) Mermaid au- chuuya's a mermaid happily enjoying life on land. Dazai is a mermaid hellbent on dragging chuuya back to the ocean

20) Circus au-

when chuuya joins the port mafia hes placed under lippmanns command instead of kouyou's. unfortunatly its not that easy and the port mafia's fronting as a circus. now chuuyas got to learn how to use rope.

21) Elise au-

On his deathbed mori manages to transfer his ability to chuuya. hes now living through elise. it goes as well as you'd expect now the mafias being run by an 11 year old

22) Chuuya stays with the sheep au-

self explanitory, dazai's plan fails and chuuya never ends up leaving the sheep. then 15 rolls around and verlaine disposes of them. chuuya travels around with verlaine until hes eventually rescued by the flags

23) Ada au-

chuuya moves to the ada after stormbringer. he works with yosano in the infirmary.

24) Demon/Coffee shop au-

Ex-fighting ring demon chuuya runs a coffee shop and tries to be evil (hes bad at it)

25) Chuuya is inside my laptop au-

Dazai finds a beat up laptop on the floor one day and being the cheap person he is decides to take it. the only issue is theres someone (something?) living inside it (its chuuya)

26) Dragon au-

Chuuya nakahara is one of the last dragons of his kind. dazai wants a pet dog but gets something more exotic instead

27) Nyan bungou stray nekos au- nyan neko sugar girls but bsd derailed and i dont know how to explain this now

29) Botw au-

chuuya's a gerudo who isnt that good at fitting in, dazai's a zora next in line for the throne whos bad at everything. together they make a wildfire look like a beach holiday

Honarable mentions

Danganrompa au (Only existed so i could execute chuuya)

Vocaloid/Utauloid au (canon except they have vocasynth voices)

Evermore's chuuyai farm and factory

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #chuuya #bungo stray dogs manga #i love him #chuuyabsd #evermore answers #bsd au #chuuya au #chuuya bsd #bsd chuuya

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nkn0va · 9 days

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Request (Persona): Rise comes home from a tour to see her S/O and their kids have set up a birthday party for her.

Lowkey feel a little bad for any kids Rise might have. She'd be a great mom but can't be there as much as she wants due to her work.

-Chances are this was quite the miracle to actually have happen. Rise really had to put her foot down with her manager so she could be home with her family on her birthday and not spend it in some far off city on the other side of the country doing some event for it.

-As soon as you got the phone call from her saying she was able to come home, you immediately got to work. The kids were immediately in on the plan as you rushed to get everything set up in time.

-You unfortunately didn't get much forewarning so it's a race against the clock to get everything done in time. Having a couple extra pairs of hands proves very critical to succeeding.

-When she gets off the train you head over to pick her up, leaving the kids alone for a bit to make sure everything's perfect. Inaba was a perfectly safe town and it'd only be for about 10 minutes, you weren't worried.

-Once you're in front of the door you tell Rise to wait outside for a couple minutes while you go and get something. She's pretty confused but complies until you tell her from inside she's good to come in now.

-Stepping into her home for the first time in a while, the first thing Rise's met with is a huge cake and he living room decorated for a party you and the kids worked hard on, down to the last minute details.

-The gasp escaping her is one of pure joy as she holds her hands to her mouth and has to hold back tears. The kids are immediately trapped in her death grip, only being let go when she pulls you into the hardest kiss of your life, much to their simultaneous relief and dismay, which you and her have a good chuckle about.

-A traditional birthday party with her family is one she's wanted for a very long time, but just hasn't been able to have much, if at all due to her work. Just something between the people she cared for most in her life. The old IT members were great and all, but things tended go get...chaotic. sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

-Best birthday ever.

#persona 4 x reader #persona 4 #rise kujikawa x reader #rise kujikawa #x reader #domestic fluff #nova birthday bash

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fanmoose12 · 10 months

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Hey, I have got a request.

Levihan after a one night stand.

There is a heavy weight on Hange’s torso.

She squirms, and, still hoping to preserve her sleep, tries to shake it off, but – to no avail. Turning on the other side proves fruitless too, the weight only grows heavier, trapping Hange in a much tighter grip.

Giving up on trying to escape from it, she decides to change the tactic and first find out just where that weight comes from.

It’s not her cat, although that adorable ball of fur Hange lovingly calls Beast frequently uses as pillow her legs or her butt, he also hisses and jumps off her as soon as she starts moving around, so Hange rules him out instantly. And if it’s not her cat, then—

Oh. As Hange opens her eyes, she’s greeted by a sight that takes her breath away.

Despite the tousled dark locks that obscure half of face, she still catches outlines of a jawline that probably can cut her finger, a small, but adorable nose she now desperately wants to boop and the softest, most kissable lips she has ever seen. The lips she most definitely has kissed last night.

There is no other explanation as to why this man is in her bed right now, after all.

And it also means that— Hange closes her eyes back again with a groan. It means that she doesn’t at all remember what the hell she was up to last night.

Straining what reserves of her brain she’s able to so early in the morning, while simultaneously trying to fight back the headache that is already looming on the outskirts of her consciousness, Hange tries to recreate the events of last night.

She remembers agreeing to meet Mike for a couple of drinks after work, remembers entering the bar they both frequent and ordering a glass of beer, remembers how good the cold, bitter liquid felt after a grueling day, remembers ordering a second one, and then a third one too, remembers Mike saying something about inviting his new boyfriend over for a couple of drinks, remembers meeting that said boyfriend and thinking that he definitely looks way too nice to date her brother, remembers him offering to ditch their favorite bar and go over to a nightclub he found recently, remembers thinking that cosmopolitan is way too overpriced at that place and ordering a shot of tequila, right before going to the dance floor, and—

Right, that’s when shit has started hitting the fan.

What happened after her first shot gets a little muddy, after the second and third one – Hange can recall only certain events, and after the fourth – everything turns to black.

Good lord, Hange really hopes she wasn’t stupid enough to continue drinking after that.

Although, the absence of foul stench in her mouth and the presence of a very attractive man in her bed points to a different chain of events.

So, she got stupidly drunk, found herself a stupidly handsome man, and then, probably, had stupidly amazing sex with him. All in all, the night was definitely a successful one.

The morning, unfortunately, doesn’t seem to be going all that well.

The man is still fast asleep beside her, which wouldn’t have been that much of a problem – had Hange not decided to bring him to her place last night. Now, she can’t just run away as she usually does; as it is, she can’t even move much, with the man’s arm still draped over her body.

Hange takes a moment to observe that arm a bit more closely, lets her eyes travel up to the man’s back, and – yes, now she is absolutely sure, she had a mind-blowingly good sex last night. A man with an arm so thick and veiny, with such a muscled back just cannot be a bad fuck.

Still, as good as knowing she had fun last night feels, it doesn’t solve the problem of what to do right now.

Hange knows that waking up the man and sending him home would be the most reasonable plan of action. Maybe, if he’s not just a pretty face and a very cute butt, she can make some coffee for him too. Maybe, if he’s all that and more, she can ask him to repeat last night some time.

But, first, she has to wake him up, and— Hange struggles to do that.

It’s not just that waking him up will undoubtedly be awkward, it’s not Hange’s first one-night stand, and most definitely – won’t be the last one, she survived a dozen of awkward moments just like this one, but— the man looks so peaceful right now, snores so adorably in her pillow that she cannot find the mental strength to ruin this moment for him.

And, yes, even if it’s embarrassing and a bit pathetic to admit, lying in bed with someone like this feels kinda nice. It’s been quite a long time since she had someone over, and even longer since that someone stayed through the whole night.

But, Hange tries to reason with herself, if she doesn’t wake him up, what should she do instead? She obviously cannot get out of the bed, while the man holds her so tightly, and she can’t very well stay here and just stare at him. It feels just a tad too creepy even for her.

Unable to find another solution, Hange resorts to the easiest one. Gathering all of her strength, she tries to get out from under the arm that’s holding her down. She squirms, huffs, and almost throws the arm off her. But then— the man grumbles something under his breath and pulls her even closer.

Undeterred and now a little irritated, Hange doesn’t cease her struggle, reinforces her efforts, and when that too doesn’t yield any results, she decides to play a little dirty and kicks the man in the shin.

He yelps, evidently wide awake already, and hisses out, “What the fuck? Will you just stop already? I’m trying to sleep!”

He opens his eyes, staring at her, and Hange now has to deal with two, equally mind-blowing revelations. One – the man’s voice, low and husky as it is, is definitely having an effect on her, turning her lower belly real warm real fast. And two – he has the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen.

So lost she gets in the bottom of that blue-gray ocean that she entirely misses the moment, when he realizes the same thing she did a long time ago – that he’s in bed with a stranger.

His magnificent eyes widen and his adorable cheeks get rose in color.

“Ahem, sorry… for that, I didn’t realize that I…”

“Were in bed with someone?” Hange helpfully supplies, when he falters. “Or that you were in bed with someone you don’t know?”

“Um… the first one?”

“Good!” Hange allows herself a smile. “Because if the latter was true, and you were just cheating on someone with me…”

“No! No!” The man shakes his head, appearing both mortified and horrified. “I’m not— I’d never done that.”

“Good,” Hange nods, and decides – it’s now or never. “Want to get coffee some time then?”

The man stares at her for a moment, then lets out a short chuckle. Hange never thought she’d ever find someone’s laughter sexy, but good lord, if she wasn’t lying in bed right now, she’s sure her knees would have given out. Is there anything about this man that isn’t attractive?

“So that’s a yes?” she asks, not even a bit embarrassed by how forward she’s being, or how desperate she sounds.

“Do you even know my name?” the man asks back, and right, that is a sound question.

Unfortunately, the answer might disappoint him.

“I’m— I’m sure I knew it. Last night.”

“Your neighbors probably already know it. You were pretty loud last night.”

Oh, so that’s how he is going to be? Hange would have found such confidence annoying – at least, she usually does, if— he wasn’t so damn handsome.

Well, it’s only fair if she acts so damn insufferable too.

“So should I go out there and ask them?” she says, and pats herself on the back, when the man laughs again.

“Sure. That is, if you can survive the mortification, Hange.”

Damn it. So, he knows her name, but she doesn’t know his? As if this whole ordeal wasn’t already so fucking awkward…

But she can’t very well show him that, that’s not Zoe's way. So Hange pushes her chest forward, gives him a look that’s all bravado she doesn’t actually feel and huffs out, “Ha! I survived way worse than that.”

“Yeah, after watching you fire the dance floor to Katy Perry, I have absolutely no doubt about that.”

Fuck, so she did that too? The urge to cover her face with her hands grows nearly unbearable. Hange can only hope that no one was recording her. And everyone, who knows her and had seen it, was way too drunk to remember it.

“It wasn’t all that bad,” the man assures her with a glint in his eyes that can only mean trouble. “Compared to a giraffe with epilepsy, at least.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Hange pushes him away with a hand on his chest, and only then realizes just what she had just said. But the man gives her no chance to take her words back.

“It was the other way around last night, but if you’re offering…”

Gods, if he continues talking in that husky voice of his, Hange will have no other choice but to do just that.

“I’m Levi, by the way,” he says. “In case you were still wondering.”

Levi. That’s a good name, Hange thinks. Fitting for him. And rolls off the tongue quite easily. She from yesterday probably thought so too.

Well, one problem is already solved. Not bad, all things considering. However… there still are quite a few gaps that Hange’s memory is missing.

“So, Levi, you’re..”

“Erwin’s friend.”

Oh! Right! Erwin! Him she does remember! Mike’s new boyfriend! She’s not that helpless, after all.

“Mike, his boyfriend, is my brother,” she tells Levi, in case that he, just like her, has a few pieces of the puzzle missing. Judging by the wince that appears on his face, he most definitely does.

“That oaf is your brother?”

“Yep!” Hange confirms with a grin. “So you’re very lucky that you weren’t cheating on someone with me.”

“How so?”

“Well, that’s easy,” Hange’s grin grows a little wider. “If you were, Mike would have beaten you up. After I landed a punch or two too, of course, but my punches would be nothing, compared to his. So,” she pats Levi on the arm, “I’m kinda glad you aren’t like that.”

“And why?” Levi raises a brow that Hange now notices – is almost unbelievably perfect. It puts her own untrimmed ones to shame.

“Because your face is too pretty to be turned into a bloody pulp.”

His wince grows more pronounced. “I can’t quite understand if you mean this as a compliment, or as a really weird threat.”

Hange taps her finger against her chin for a moment, then looks back at Levi, showing him a toothy smile. “Both I suppose? So, how about that coffee?”

“I’m more of a tea guy. And I need to take a shower first. And, just to warn you… I’m not the type of guy who does this…” he gestures uncertainly at the mess of covers they’ve made last night, “…often. So…”

“Oh!” despite Levi’s words meant as a warning, Hange feels nothing but relief upon hearing them. After all, she’s not that type of a person either. One-night stands are not something she indulges in a lot. Only when she’s extremely drunk and lonely. “You’re saying I have to dine and wine you before we fall into bed again?”

“If we fall into bed again,” Levi clarifies, but does so – with a ghost of a smile on his face. “But yes, something like that, basically.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal then!” Hange grabs his hand and shakes it heartily. “But I’ve got to warn you too,” she adds, holding his hand still, “I’m pretty irresistible, so if you won’t be able to take it anymore, well… just say a word, and your neighbors will learn my name too.”

“Wow,” Levi deadpans. “I’ll try my best to keep it in my pants. Now, go take a shower, irresistible. Your mouth stinks like a garbage can.”

“Sure you don’t want to give me a kiss before that?”

Hange tries to catch him in her arms, laughing, when Levi evades her effortlessly, with a disgusted look on his face.

“Brush your teeth, and maybe you’ll get your kiss. On the cheek,” he clarifies, before Hange can get her hopes up.

But she doesn’t feel disappointed in the slightest. All good things in life should be fought for. And with a bit of time and effort, she has no doubt she’ll win Levi over too.

#levihan

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ttuesday · 2 years

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The Feller’s Love Languages <3

Arthur -> Acts of Service

Arthur’s love language is definitely acts of service, it’s something he’s done his whole life to show others he cares for them. He knows how time-consuming chores can be, so by doing them for you, Arthur hopes it’ll show you just how much you mean to him.

If you ever need anything in town then Arthur will go and get it for you, even if it’s first thing in the morning. Sure, he might complain sometimes but no matter what, Arthur always gets it done for you.

Even if there’s any jobs you don’t feel up to, Arthur will gladly take your place if it means you having some time to relax. Hell, you could ask him for the moon and I’m sure Arthur will do everything in his power to get it for you.

The best way to show your appreciation is by doing little tasks that Arthur might not have the time for. We all know how busy he is fixing everyone else’s problems so sometimes he doesn't have the time to brush his horse thoroughly, declutter his satchel or donate some money to the gang fund. Honestly, if you do any one of these things, Arthur will feel like the luckiest man alive.

Charles -> Quality Time

Charles is a person who really wants to get to know someone before getting into a relationship with them so even when y’all were just friends, quality time together has always been essential.

Charles loves being around you, he even waits to do his chores while you’re busy with your chores too. That way, doing the chores is more fun and it’s kinda like an in-camp date, both of you so captivated by each other that doing the dishes doesn’t seem that boring anymore.

Of course Charles likes more intimate quality time too, whether that be hunting together or having a picnic and watching the sunset. Yet no matter where y’all are or who else is there, as long as you’re by his side then Charles is happy.

The best way to show Charles you love him too is by asking him to teach you how to make arrows, bait and traps. That way he gets to teach you a useful skill and spend more time with you, full of innocent touches as he softly instructs you on how to set the trap.

Dutch -> Receiving Gifts

Although Dutch loves going on about Evelyn Miller and the ruthlessness of the upper class, he can be quite materialistic. He loves getting presents because he can judge someone’s character by which present they give him; if it’s something he likes, then they must pay close attention to him which makes him feel even more loved.

But when it’s Dutch who’s buying the gifts, expect many bouquets of flowers. He likes getting the pre-made bouquets just because they’re a bit pricey and he loves spending money on you.

Whenever he leaves early in the morning for a con or robbery, he leaves small, more personalised gifts nearby for you to find, just in case the job doesn’t go according to plan.

Even if you don’t give him any physical gifts, just by making a big deal out of anniversaries or any gang events gives Dutch that same feeling of love.

Micah -> Physical Touch

Micah is so goddamn touch starved. Do y’all really think this guy has ever gotten a hug? (without paying for it). While it takes him a while to accept some genuine physical affection, it’s something he quickly clings to and holds on to dearly.

As much as he refuses to admit it, he’s a sucker for some skin on skin contact, even if you brush past his arm or let your hand linger on his for a few moments, he’ll think about it for the rest of the day.

When you’re in a relationship with Micah, he’s not afraid to get a lil touchy feely just to make sure everyone within a 25 metre radius knows y’all are an item. Basically, he’s always manhandling you, with one hand on the small of your back or wrapped snuggly around your waist.

While Micah is quite handsy, he doesn’t exactly make out with you in public (if people wanna see that, they’ll have to pay) so the best way to show him you care while simultaneously riling him up is by giving him a quick yet lingering kiss randomly throughout the day before continuing on your way again.

John -> Acts of Service

Similar to Arthur, John is kinda an errand boy (though he does complain a lot more). Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t necessarily enjoy doing things for others but he sees it as showing you how dedicated he is.

Like I said, you will hear a fair few complaints but John eventually gets the job done, whether that be making you coffee in the morning or doing some laundry for you.

If John ever hears you complaining about a recon job you have to go on or some boring task given to you by Dutch, he’ll offer to go instead or to tag along with you, hoping to make it somewhat fun.

Honestly, most of the time John ends up doing your chores at camp and completely neglect his own, so to return the love, the best thing to do is his chores for him before Miss Grimshaw starts berating him.

Javier -> Words of Affirmation

Javier is a big believer in communication being key in any relationship and so he’s always quick to praise you and encourage you in all aspects of life.

He’s basically your hype man, there to remind you how attractive you look, how talented you are and how you constantly make his day better simply by being there. And if he thinks you’re feeling a little down, Javier really amps it up and will spend the day whispering sweet nothings to you.

Seriously, Javier will take almost any opportunity to remind you just how grateful he is to have you in his life. Even when tensions get high at camp, Javier normally pulls you aside to gush about how lucky he feels to have you as his partner.

The best way to return the love is by telling Javier whenever he impresses you; whether it be on a job or playing the guitar, whenever he gets a compliment from you, he’s on cloud 9 for the rest of the day.

Bill -> Receiving Gifts

In fairness, Bill likes to love in a number of different ways. He loves spending quality time with you, touch you in places only he’s allowed to, listen bashfully as you praise him but if you really want to make Bill’s heart flutter, get him a gift.

Bill knows how important cash is both in the gang and in general so if you spend some on him, he feels sincerely honoured. Hell, you could simply pick him a wildflower from the outskirts of camp and Bill will act as if you’ve just brought him a gold bar.

Even when Bill doesn’t have the money to spoil you, he always brings you back little trinkets he finds while on random jobs or bring you a bottle of beer so you can both drink together and unwind after a long day.

If you buy him something snazzy for one of your anniversaries, Bill falls in love with you all over again. Even when money’s tight, leaving him a love note in his jacket pocket or some photos of the two of you together will almost bring a tear of happiness to his eye.

Sean -> Physical Touch

Sean absolutely loves touching you, whether that be playing with your hair, holding your hand, giving you a hug from behind and the list goes on and on!

He likes how reassuring your hand in his feels or how relaxed he becomes when you lean into him. You’re not doing much, but just to know you’re there is very soothing for Sean.

My god this man will use any excuse to give you a massage. It’s possibly his favourite excuse reason to touch you, slowly running his hands along your skin before he begins applying pressure to wherever it is you say.

To be blunt, literally any form of physical touch with you is enough to make him feel special but if you really want to spoil Sean (or if you want him to stop talking for a while) then run your fingers through his hair and watch him quickly turn to putty.

Hosea -> Quality Time

Hosea adores having some time alone with you, finally being able to unwind and give you all of his attention. Having a break away from camp and some quality time with you honestly keeps Hosea sane.

Date nights are absolutely imperative, no matter what’s going on, Hosea always plans a date night each week. It’s something he looks forward to and Hosea adores planning out each date night, wanting to keep the details as a surprise for you.

He’s always very hesitant to cancel a date night but if the law is snooping around and it’s too dangerous to go out, he can settle for spending the night planning cons on the outskirts of camp instead.

Hosea is quite the bookworm so something he loves doing with you is stealing buying 2 copies of a book and discussing each chapter together. It’s like your own private book club and it’s only one of the many things you do that makes Hosea’s heart warm.

Trelawny -> Words of Affirmation

Trelawny likes to talk and he likes to be open about his feelings, never hesitating to give someone a genuine compliment or try to uplift them with his words.

Honestly, when isn’t Trelawny gushing about you? Josiah can’t help but sing your praises whenever you’re near, telling everyone how amazing you did on a recent con and raving about how ravishing you look.

Sometimes he fears he may embarrass you with his constant praise but once you give him that cute smile of yours or a quick kiss on the cheek, he sees that as your permission for him to keep boosting about you.

Trelawny practically remembers every compliment you’ve given him. He holds your opinion very highly so whenever you praise him or simply tell him you love him, he can’t help but turn a light shade of red and wonder what on earth has he done to deserve someone as magnificent as you.

Kieran -> Physical Touch

Once Kieran feels comfortable with his partner, he absolutely loves physical affection. Touching you and knowing your close makes him feel so safe and relaxed.

Whenever Kieran’s going through a stressful time or fretting over the O’Driscoll’s, cuddling with you makes him feel like everything will be ok. He’s pretty sure you have some mystic calming ability cause no matter what the circumstances are, the instant you touch him, Kieran feels 10 times better already.

Kieran loves giving you small touches throughout the day. He knows if he does anymore then the gang will tease him so for the most part, he sticks to some playful nudges, squeezing your hand, rubbing your shoulders or giving you a quick peck on the lips if he’s really feeling daring.

Kieran loves it whenever you initiate physical affection, especially when you boldly kiss him in front of the others or sit on his lap. Although it always makes him flustered and stumble over his words, he gets a massive boost of confidence every time you do this.

Lenny -> Quality Time

Dating Lenny means you’re basically joined at his hip, always together whether it be in a job or just relaxing at camp. He adores spending time with you, although he usually gets distracted flirting with you and never gets any work done.

Whenever Lenny’s supposed to go on guard duty, he brings you out with him to keep him company. That way, going on guard duty is actually fun and y’all can get some alone time.

Even though you both spend a lot of time together, neither of you are ever bored. Lenny is an expert at making up silly games for you both to play throughout the day. For example, his latest game is putting his hat on your head and vice versa, with whoever’s wearing the hat by the end of the day being the one who has to buy the drinks the next time y’all are out.

Lenny’s dream would be a weekend away from camp, just the two of you at some old cabin, cooking dinner together and acting like a couple that aren’t wanted by bounty hunters. Even if living a relatively normal life is very unlikely, Lenny always likes to daydream about your future together.

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l-1-z-a · 1 year

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Emergent narrative in The Sims 2

Matt Brown at AIIDE 2006

Notes from Matt Brown's (EA/Maxis) invited talk at AIIDE 2006, entitled "The Power of Projection and Mass Hallucination (Practical AI in The Sims 2 and Beyond)".

The general gist of it is that The Sims 2 is a sandbox world that provides some small bits of narrative-promotion to try to encourage emergent narrative sequences to actually emerge, by matching them against pre-authored snippets that seem desirable. In general, Matt Brown has a very AI-minimalist style of AI design.

Some points and claims:

Perception is key: how to seem intelligent, not how to be intelligent ("Big A, little i")

Complicated behind-the-scenes computation is usually interpreted as random behavior by the player, so don't bother

Players have short memories and quickly move on, so your AI should too

Correlary to the above: Local intelligence is good enough, at least for something like The Sims. Just focus on making sure everything makes sense in relation to what comes immediately before and immediately after, and players will fill in appropriate long-term stories themselves.

Consistency leads to player storytelling and ascription of personality

Some randomness helps avoid brittleness; keeps you from getting stuck in repeated or easily exploitable weird behaviors

The Sims/NPCs react to player-driven momentum, rather than initiating much of anything

Much of the local behavior is organized around story trees

Story trees are explicitly authored bits of story, very short

In their experience, the important thing here was the authoring tools, not the AI: given good tools, a few human authors can quickly create and maintain lots and lots of story trees. Important features were sorting of story trees by roles, easy searching/comparison/etc., batch creation/edits, and variable bindings.

He was pretty adamant that it's much easier to write authoring tools to make writing extensional definitions of "good story" feasible than it is to build a generative system with an internal notion of good story, since you'd have to do a lot of manual fiddling on the latter anyway.

Events are matched against all tree prefixes simultaneously, and of high-matching trees, the events that that tree says would come next in its story snipped is scored against a model of player interest ("player likes [x] events") and personality of the NPC, etc.

Players find it easier to give specific outcomes rather than traits — answering "likes hiking (y/n)?" is easy, while "x/10 for extrovert?" isn't.

Focus the player on the details you will actually use; in character design and personalities, don't try to faithfully model things that don't matter very much to your game

Anecdote: They had a complicated model for which urinals Sims would use: if there's 3, and someone's at the leftmost one, the Sim is supposed to use the rightmost one, not the middle one, unless they have some sort of weird personality. It wasn't reliably getting the responses they wanted, so they ripped it out and replaced it with a random-number generator, which people were just as happy to make up stories about and ascribe personality to.

A bit of an admission in the conclusion: As a sort of aimless "sandbox game", The Sims only really needs to make sure something interesting happens, but it hardly matters what. The player is responsible for making up stories (this is their sandbox after all), so the story-AI part of The Sims is only intended to provide some prompts and play off what the player does. That might not be the case in other types of games.

Follow-up: Maxis ended up deviating significantly from this view of Sims narrative with The Sims 3, bringing in Richard Evans to do a less AI-lite version of the AI, which included longer-term planning rather than purely emergent narrative. Evans has given a number of talks on that, which I unfortunately don't have good notes on, but here (archived) is a brief writeup someone else did of his AIIDE 2007 talk.

Mark J. Nelson, 2006-06-21.

Comments welcome: [email protected]

Many thanks to @andrevasims for searching in this post:

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emcscared-whumps · 10 months

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WiJ 2023 - 01: Introduce Yourself

WiJ 2023 Navigation Post

(I'll put my favourite tropes under the cut because this post is getting a bit long, oops lol)

Re-Introduction

I've been in the Tumblr whump community for a couple of years now, but hello and welcome to everyone both old and new to my blog! I'm emc, and I'm an Australian writer and artist specialising in the bloodthirsty subject matter we all love here on whumpblr! I mostly reblog at this stage, but I love to participate in community events, and have plenty in the works :)

I create original whump works. I'm only in one fandom, Danny Phantom, so I will occasionally reblog stuff from there.

Project Updates!

I'm completely, totally obsessed by one singular whumpee... so everything I work on centers around him... lol

Anyways, so, it turns out that SP multiplied...

Shifting Phases - This is gonna be a loooooong fic lol, but! I'm making good progress, and I've managed to stay inspired and motivated for +6 years, so you can count on it getting finished, no matter how long it takes :)

10 of 59 chapters are drafted, one of which is pending review,

8 of the remaining 50 chapters are in progress,

The word-count as of writing this post is 23.5k.

I'm sure a few of you have followed for this fic/pieces of the boi, and I think about that constantly especially since it's still a major wip lol ^-^' Not worry, I will not rush uwu

I'll link the masterpost of it though because I keep it updated with my progress, and also any good snippets I write :)

Full Moon Waning - Because I'm horrible and have so many thoughts all the time, I've actually started planning this; the sequel to Shifting Phases! I think I have some cool whump ideas, and it provides another chance to explore the worldbuilding and character backstories, so I think it has a lot to offer and will be fun to write :)

Plotting; jotting down vague ideas and arranging them in a semi-coherent order.

Eclipse Descending (AU) - Oh this one is incredibly fun and fucked up, and somehow manages to be SO much darker in which Pete falls down a terrible path and becomes a hunter. It goes about as well as you'd expect lol. I explained the premise to a friend and she wondered, since it was so compelling, why it wasn't canon, and man, that's a fun thing to hear. It also means it's gonna be an absolute behemoth...

Plotting and detailing scenes simultaneously.

Caesar Salad (AU) - Remember how I said I wanted to stab my whumpee during the Ides of March? Guess which concept got WAY out of hand XD It will be a much shorter fic, but it's still a major project. It's an alternate secret reveal, so, it's an AU.

Detailing the scenes while trying desperately to come up with a resolution ^-^'

Anything Else? - Yep! I have a few other little scene/whump ideas that I'll eventually write out, but for now, I just keep them stored in a little au/idea doc. I'm still also working slowly on my BTHB card, and also the gift and several treats for the exchange I mentioned earlier, but I shan't be spoiling those :)

Favourite Tropes

Those of you who've been around me/know me will find that I am indeed very consistent XD Some of my favourite tropes include:

Bad caretaker/s

Collapse

Compromised mobility

Dehumanisation and animalisation

Domestic abuse

Emotional whump

Environmental whump

Hyper/hypothermia

Long-term injuries and scars

Near-death of the whumpee

Nightmares/Night terrors

Nonhuman whumpees (usually vampires, demons... and especially mer)

Panic attacks

PTSD

Restraints, especially creative ones

Secret angst-- whumpee having to keep their species/identity secret for their personal safety, and because they fear they'll be rejected by the ones they love most

Severe sickness

Species-specific whump

Starvation

Transformation whump

... and so many more...! Also, caretakers and whumpers are not necessary for me to enjoy the whump ^-^

#wij23day1 #whumpmasinjuly2023 #whumpmas in july #wij #whumpblr #whump community #whump intro #whump reintro #whump writer #whump artist #omfg how do i count #i can't fucking count i either made an error on chapter count here or on the masterpost shit shit shit lmao #i can count it's just whether i count them the same way lol

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princess-prentiss · 2 years

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All Too Well - Chapter 11

Pairing: Natasha “Pheonix” Trace/Jake “Hangman” Seresin

A/N: thank u for all the love anyway we're back with the regularly scheduled fluff (for now heheh) little shorter than i wanted soz

Natasha watched the two people she loved most in the world interact the way they should have been for the past six years, looking at the man she once considered the love of her life, observing how his eyes glistened with tears of joy as he placed tiny kisses all across her daughter’s head and into her hair.

They moved downstairs together after a while, Natasha’s mom making a speedy exit as she said something about having errands to run, which she knew was a lie but was grateful that her mom was giving them a chance to be their own little family for the first time.

“You know baby, your dad used to make these amazing pancakes for me, I bet if you asked him nicely he could make them for us.”

She looked up at Jake over her coffee cup as she took a long sip from it, raising her eyebrow in a challenge.

She remembered once, for a week over summer break during the academy, they had stayed at one of his parent’s houses on Cape Cod for her twenty-first birthday. She had woken up one morning to the sweet smell of something cooking drawing her from their bed. The sight of him, piling up a stack of pancakes, only wearing his boxers and t-shirt from the night before was something she was sure would remain etched in her memory forever.

All through her pregnancy with Mia, she craved pancakes, at first the ones they served on Sundays at the academy would do, but then, as they graduated and she returned home, she found herself searching stores and recipes for anything that would match his. She never could find anything quite the same. He had claimed that it was a secret that his grandma had told him before she died and made him promise to keep the family secret.

But then he had made some comment about her being his family in every way but one that it would be recognized officially. A small bit of hope allowed itself to weave into her brain then.

Was he going to propose?

But then, instead of a ring, he brought out a golden necklace, a single diamond in the middle of the chain. She adored the necklace he gave her, she wore it every day under her academy uniform, until she walked out of his room and simultaneously out of his life.

She kept it in the back of one of the draws of her dresser, rarely worn since, only for events she felt were important. Natasha remembered feeling the weight of the gold chain against her neck as she waved Mia into kindergarten for the first time, twisting it between two of her fingers as she watched her daughter disappear among the swarm of other children. She wore it on the day she finally finished flight school, two years later than she had planned, and with him nowhere to be seen; she had still felt the weight of the promise they had never made close to her chest.

It only made sense to her now, that one of the first things they would share together should be something that played such a significant role in her memory of him.

“Please daddy, please!” She jumped up and down on the spot looking excitedly up at him with wide eyes, starstruck.

The first time she had called him that he had cried. He wouldn’t try to lie. Not about that, he loved his daughter more than anything and wasn’t afraid to say he cried because of how much he loved her.

At first, he had frozen, lying in Nat’s bed as Mia moved to get up, the tears slowly making the way down his cheeks being the only indication that he had heard her, but then everything came back to him at once. He dragged Mia back towards him, pulling her into him tightly, before grabbing her mother’s arm with his other hand, pulling her towards him, so that his arms wrapped around them both. He would never forget it, Natasha was certain she wouldn’t either.

They spent the majority of the afternoon on the couch in her parent’s living room. A blanket thrown over them all, as she sat next to Jake her head resting on his chest, legs pulled up beside her as Mia sat in front of her, leaning back onto her, he had an arm around them both.

They sat through three Disney films together, Mia falling asleep against her mother by the halfway point of the second one, soft snores coming from her mouth, as her mother weaved her hands through the child's hair. Jake looked down at his sleeping daughter with adoration in his eyes before raising his gaze to meet hers, he looked so happy at the simple action that she wanted to hug him and cry at the same time, for the time he had missed with his daughter due to her decision.

He seemed to be able to gather what she was thinking, leaning down to place a kiss on the crown of her head, unspeaking, but then was there to say really?

Later in the afternoon, they left the house together, for the first time, Natasha sighting the fact that she wanted a walk because she knew Jake was getting restless without the daily run he had when they were shoreside. Mia ran ahead of them, as they fell into step behind her, both of them wanted to feel the warmth of the other’s palm in their hand, but neither one of them knew what it was that they were. Was showing affection in public something they should be doing?

Sure, Jake thought, they had hugged on the ship, but that was after they had both nearly died, and anyway, she hugged everyone then. So he settled for walking beside her, occasionally when his arm swung back and forth with his steps, it managed to brush against hers.

He broke from his contemplation with the noise of Mia’s laughter from where she had rounded the next street corner before them.

“Awww what a sweet doggie!” He heard her exclaim between her giggles.

The first thing he saw was her patting a large golden dog, who seemed to be enjoying the attention given the vigorous wagging of his tail, which seemed to be hitting its owner's leg with every movement. He raised his vision to look at the man behind the dog.

Maverick.

The color instantly drained from his face at the sight of their instructor, turning to the woman beside him in desperation, he would follow her lead, whatever she wanted to do.

Natasha panicked a little when she first heard her daughter’s laughter, Mia knew she shouldn’t go near strangers but the allure of the animal caused her daughter to forget that. Her eyes instantly jumped to the man behind the fluffy creature, taken back at the sight of the man she had thought was dead mere days ago.

“Captain.” She said respectfully.

At her address of him, the older man’s eyes shot upwards, drawing his gaze away from where he had been watching the young girl interact with the animal. If he was surprised to see two of his lieutenants, he hid it pretty well.

“Lieutenants.”

They both unconsciously stood a little straighter.

Jake had seemed to regain his voice, “Is that Penny’s dog?” He spoke in confusion.

“Yeah,” he responded looking down at the creature in question, “Let’s just say I owe her.”

He chuckled at that, Maverick shooting them both a smile.

“So who’s this?”

“I’m Mia.” The girl spoke, clearly not ignorant to the adult conversation going on over her head.

He looked as though his question hadn’t really been answered, so Natasha decided to help him.

“This is our daughter.”

Of all the things he was expecting, it clearly wasn’t that, but now she was confused.

“Sir, she’s in my file?”

Maverick’s eyes jumped back to the aviator questioning him.

“Ah, I’ve never really been one for reading.”

Both she and Jake laughed at that, because of course he wasn’t.

“So you two are together?” He said looking down at the joined pair of hands between them, Jake hadn’t realized that his hand had jumped into Nat’s at the sight of the man in question.

He looked at her nervously, as though he wanted her to tell him what to say.

“Er, it’s complicated.”

Maverick raised an eyebrow at them both in a mixture of disbelief and subtle judgment, before he turned back to the young girl crouched on the sidewalk, talking in hushed tones to the dog.

“Well Mia it’s lovely to meet you, I’m Maverick, but you can call me Mav.”

#hannix #natasha phoenix trace #jake hangman seresin #top gun #top gun maverick

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dark9896 · 10 months

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Sweeties [Klaus x Reader]

Requested by Anonymous ⚘️

Damien and Evalyn were old enough to understand what was going on, they knew why Papa was so excited to be in this weird-smelling store. The kind, older lady helping them find something cute to wear was asking Klaus several questions about what kind of colors the wedding would have. While Klaus had long since talked over every detail with you, it was just a simple matter of getting the children into something equally adorable.

Though Klaus had promised to not go overboard, he was not about to let this event go any way other than perfect. That meant the children would be in matching flower child outfits and decking little Mabel's stroller with flowers and ribbons. Gilbert wasn't wholly on board with this, though he knew Klaus's heart was in the right place.

His children were getting a "second mother" and he had asked a second lovely woman to build a family with him. A large ask from anyone, especially picking up the pieces of a broken family so smoothly as you had.

Klaus was determined to make sure things went better this time around.

One deep breath as you pushed open the gate, an outdoor wedding fenced off with a slightly tall fence covered with a semi-opaque covering. Damien and Evalyn had one hand on Mabel's stroller and the other out toward you. It was a miracle that they were both tall enough to reach your elbows.

Just seeing you wearing such a stunning dress had Klaus's heart fluttering. Seeing how it matched the children's outfits, and just how you were with them. Little Mabel was shaking her teeny fists, scattering flower petals everywhere while the four of you walked down the aisle toward the gentle giant. He could hardly contain how happy he was, a massive grin threatening to overtake his face.

You recounted how this was even possible. The tragic path slowly turning into possibly the happiest ending. It certainly wasn't how you thought things would turn out, it wasn't something you'd ever choose. But you already planned on being close with your friend's family...

This wasn't the way you pictured that...

But the soft tugging of the little children at your arms, trying to contain their excitement over having Aunt [Name] become Mama, legally; made you realize that you couldn't stay in third degree after everything that happened.

It made you think about the what-ifs of had your friend survived. What would your life look like then?

Standing in front of Klaus made every other thought melt away. That kind of thinking didn't matter, you could waste your life thinking. But right now, you were listening to Dr. Estevez officiating the ceremony. Listening to every promise you would do your best to keep for the rest of your life.

Having such a beautiful partner looking up at him so lovingly amid the vows had Klaus feeling like he was simultaneously melting and supercharged with electricity. His three adorable children hanging off their legs, absolutely enamored with what was going on; the prospect of having you around constantly the way you already were.

His whole world had revolved around his late wife... and now he was making room in that world for you, for the betterment of his children. And a little bit for himself. How you'd stepped up so effortlessly to assist him, to be there for Damien and Evalyn, to get him through everything going on.

He wanted to do everything right this time. All of Klaus's efforts to protect his loved ones would double, if not triple. If only to keep his children from going through all this a second time...

"Do you Damien, Evalyn, and Mabel Reinherz take [Name] to be your new mother?"

"Yes!"

Despite knowing this was coming, despite knowing they would say yes... Your and Klaus's hearts still fluttered at their enthusiasm, the simple earnesty both had; little Mabel could only wave her small fists and coo loudly.

"I hereby pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride. Then you two may hug your mother."

Damien and Evalyn didn't need to be told twice, clinging to your legs as Klaus kissed you gently, gentlemanly as he could be due to the fact that the children were right there.

#bbb #kkss #kekkai sensen #blood blockade battlefront #klaus von reinherz #ask

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sukajunin · 11 months

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Amor fati

I’ve always told myself that everything happens for a reason whenever I needed major consolation. Without truly knowing what that meant, it was somewhat reassuring to me that even the terrible things that happened to me had a genuine purpose. It became almost a stock-standard response to every misfortune I’ve ever encountered. The phrase itself is meant to be said for moments of comfort. But is it enough to brush off everything negative with this one-size-fits-all sort of comeback? I must’ve used it too many times that its meaning has gotten lost, like when you say one word over and over again that it starts to sound funny and you start to question whether it’s actually a real word or not. Now it’s a cliched phrase that no longer provides the same solace it used to.

Despite being overused, everything does happen for a reason. And it’s true: we may not know what that reason is yet. It might come to us in the next minute, the next hour, or years down the line. To me, this saying had always implied that some greater thing has control over our outcomes, our decisions, and everything else in between. That whatever bad thing that just happened to you was all part of a bigger plan.

I used to hear this a lot, too: Do your best and let God do the rest. It was also another phrase that was thrown around when I thought I was going to fail an exam or when I thought I wasn’t going to do so well at my violin recital. It wasn’t enough to be told to just do your best, because it’ll be even better when God has got your back, too. Maybe it was just another combination of comforting words, to let me know that my best was good enough and that a greater being will make sure I see positive results. This higher, omnipresent being, will move the earth to ensure that everything will be okay.

But my secular self refuses to believe that a big man in the sky has a say in how my life will turn out. After all, it was me making the decisions down here on humble earth…

My partner and I had been struggling for a while with getting a permanent residency in Australia. Ever since we finished up our student visas, it’s been an endless cycle of temporary visa applications. From terrible timing to not finding the right work, getting any sort of temporary visa was a real struggle. Dinner table discussions often included which visa to apply for next in order to stay here longer. But only just recently, did I realise that maybe our efforts of trying to get a PR was the ultimate roadblock that I didn’t know I needed.

Perhaps these plans never came to fruition because they’re not for me… yet. The one thing I love the most about my partner and I - and also my main source of crippling anxiety - is our ability to be… flexible, for lack of a better word. This time last year, we didn’t know where we would be, what our year was going to look like. And surprise, surprise, we still don’t know now. Not knowing where we are going to be in a year from now frightens me a little bit. But it is simultaneously one of the most exciting things ever. I look to my two older sisters as an example, who are both very much settled. Sydney is their definite home. This is their lives and it isn’t a bad thing, but I think, subconsciously, I haven’t thought about settling down in that sense and neither has my partner.

I want to believe that in some sort of twist of events, that all the decisions I’ve made - big and small - had caused a butterfly to flap its wings and led the stars to align or something for the universe to come up with this path for me. In the end, stories are stories and we love telling ourselves stories to make the unreasonable feel reasonable. But this narrative seemed far more interesting to me than a mastermind somewhere in the clouds was puppeteering my fate. In some way, I still had some control in my outcomes and that, yes - everything does happen for a reason because I subconsciously do things to lead me to this particular way.

Amor fati - a succinct Latin phrase, which means “to love one’s fate”, is probably one that I should tell myself instead when things are tough. And I think I had been headbutting my fate for too long because I had synonymously thought of it as giving up. Sometimes I do think that I’m not trying hard enough to get a PR. Maybe that’s true - there are ways to get it but the way to do it isn’t for me. I could also keep living on temporary visas but the thought of living that precariously haunts me.

On another level, my anxiety and spiraling thoughts stem from a lot of uncertainty. Of course everyone’s future is uncertain - we can die tomorrow and worrying about our pension plan should be the least of our problems - but being unsure of where you are going to be physically, geographically is scary. The thought of having to pack up your whole life that you had built to potentially relocate is incredible, yet stressful. It doesn’t help that being in my 20’s I see friends in very different stages of life. Some are married with kids, some are homeowners. Fuck, some have died. And you can’t help but to compare your very much unsolved life to ones that are seemingly very… solved.

As cliched as it sounds, your 20’s are absolutely a pigsty in terms of figuring yourself out. There were nights where I could feel my cheeks hot from the anger; my pillowcases soaked from tears. There’s a lot of mistakes being made and that’s okay, and I can’t believe I’m only just figuring that out.

It’s possible that I’ll never figure it out, so I’ll end this essay as banal as my former mantras - with a quote. Perhaps the answer can be found in the words of Austrian poet, Rainer Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

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feelin-kinda-cocky-bmc · 1 year

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FKC Mini-Update 2/21/23

Alright, don't have a lot for this update, but hey, I thought I might as well keep posting so people are aware this project is still very much active! I'm currently on Mardi Gras break, and will be utilizing the next two days to work on writing Dustin's Route. There is a bit in Dustin's Day 1 that was originally going to take me a hell of a lot of time, in which I would be writing eight unique chunks of dialogue based on three options the player chooses in a row. However, for the sake of getting a rough draft out ASAP, I have streamlined it to where each topic will flow into each other without much of a missed beat. The eight interactions might appear in a later installment of the game, though.

However, while I'm here, I'd like to announce that the FKC Tumblr now has a new header image, courtesy of our new artist: Rose! I'm extremely happy with the art and I'm so glad we have another great artist on the team. Here's the full image because Tumblr dimensions are wack lol

Anyway, in an absence of content on my end, I'll go ahead and put out what is completed, what is currently being worked on, and what I'm hoping to achieve in the future:

The rough draft of Rich's route is done. However, in an effort to keep up with momentum during the earlier stages of writing when I wasn't on ADHD meds, I ended up skipping a whole part and promptly forgotten that I had skipped it. It's still very much a draft with a lot of repetition that I need to iron out, solely because when you work on something for so long in spaced out intervals, you forget what you did previously.

Once all of the incredibly messy drafts of each route are completed, I will be going back to revise them and hopefully get to a point where I can personally playtest the early stages of the game.

Also, in addition to completed routes, Rich and Jeremy's routes will have secret routes. These won't be as important and as high priority, as they are genuinely just me throwing some OCs into a fangame. But hey, if you like hot, borderline criminal bad boys, or flower-loving, theater kid soft boys, then I've got just the routes for you ;)

With the way I'm writing the routes, I'm also simultaneously coding. Or half-coding, anyway. I'm writing it all in a way that makes it easy for me to simply copy and paste it into ren.py, and then I just edit the Python from there. Double tasking woo!

I also have basic GUI assets that I made,,two years ago,,so I'll need to revise those. But aside from the title screen art, everything looks moderately okay and is completely functional.

At the moment, I'm working on Dustin's route. This is going to be heavily headcanon-based, I'm warning everyone now, but it doesn't stray far from canon. He's just a little unique because there's not a lot of canon information about him

Also, I don't know if I ever clarified this, but each route will be structured in the same format: The default exposition (where you choose your route), around 5 in-game events (or days), the dance day (where your bachelor of choice has invited Michael to the school dance), and if you're lucky, the date day (self explanatory, only available on good endings). In addition, each route with have a bad, neutral, and good ending. This does not include secret endings

After the Dustin Route, I plan to start Jake's, and then Jeremy's (sorry Boyfs shippers!). When all are completed, I'll start revision and the addition of the secret routes.

When the writing stage (which I'm almost entirely sure will be the longest) is mostly complete, we'll be going into the art stages. I have several talented artists already volunteered to help out, and I will likely make a hefty portion of my own. Art will include backgrounds, GUI assets, sprites, and possibly promotional pieces.

And after the art stage, we'll start playtesting a beta version so we can figure out bugs, adjust the stories as needed, and overall gauge the interest of the BMC fandom :)

I would love to create background music for the game at some point, and have the capability to do so, but that genuinely might not get there until later stages of development

Though this is far off, after the game's release, I'd also like to release events. These events would allow for a new storyline to be played regarding Michael and the rest of the BMC crew. These will largely be either self-indulgent or catering towards the fandom as a whole, such as writing all the characters in FKC into an AU. These sort of events would happen for things like Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, etc. Again, far off! But I'd like to make it at least known

Discord | Community Idea Drop

#fkc #fkc sim #feelin kinda cocky #bmc #be more chill #i think we're finally starting to move this project along at a pretty steady pace :)

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meowstix · 1 year

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So I've been working on a bsb rewrite for a while now, and I have some ideas on how to handle V-Force's goons and Kai during the BEGA arc

For V-Force's goons, they are introduced much earlier as minor recurring characters, so I can slowly build their team dynamics without bringing the story to a halt. Snakey goes in alone due to not working well in a team, and since Psykick already plans to send in the rest as a team, it makes more sense to have Snakey go first so the BBA can't learn about the specific weaknesses of the other bladers

Daryl, Figel, Bat, and Chameleon work as a team. Chameleon's short temper and Figel's large ego are kept in check by Daryl (who is the sanest of these guys and thus the most qualified to lead them). Bat is very committed to his bat gimmick, but Daryl knows that in the right environment Bat is the most dangerous of them, so he makes sure that their enemies face Bat in the proper conditions

Gerry isn't a very skilled blader but has great physical conditioning and doesn't crack under pressure, which makes him perfect to test the cyber bit beasts (he's the most likely to be able to handle them, and if he can't then it's less of a loss since he isn't a very useful mook anyway)

Yuya marks the start of Pyskick outsourcing the cyber bit beast users. They know they can't risk their bladers dying, so just make it someone else's problem. Kane and Salima are kept mostly the same as canon. Jim's insecurity about his place on the team is expanded on (he works hard but can't get on Kane's level, and he sees Cyber Draciel as his best chance). Goki is given some actual characterization (he's powerful but lacks initiative, knowing he's only good at following Kane and Salima, and he sees Cyber Dranzer as a way to stay worthy as the team's muscle after Jim becomes exceedingly powerful)

Gideon keeps Zagart in the dark about his actual methods, so Zagart isn't aware that Gideon is killing people (making his redemption later a little better). After Gideon's death, the two agents go to Zagart and tell him everything, at which point Zagart is horrified at what Gideon did (again to make his later redemption a bit better). This also gives Gideon something extra to his character and gives the agents something to do besides spying on the BBA

Foxy is the first of Zagart's mooks to be sent out, and he loses to Takao. After he loses, he upgrades his bey in preparation for a rematch.

Zagart tells Doctor K to not send in any more mooks, but Doctor K disobeys him (like canon). She decides to attack when the BBA is separated (Max, Rei, and Kai are alone. Takao is with Kenny, Zeo, and Hiromi). She then sends out all the mooks at once (including Foxy). That way we get 4 simultaneous battles with each mook having one opponent (except Foxy and Denny who take on Takao, Zeo, and Kenny together). Each of the mooks is motivated by a promise of power (for varying reasons), and they operate pretty well as a team. This hopefully breaks the repetitiveness of this part of V-Force by having a single large event instead of multiple individual battles

For Kai and BEGA, after Neoborg and the BBA confront Volkov, they realize that BEGA's bladers are too strong to take head on. So Kai decides to join BEGA in hopes of talking the BEGA bladers out of it (incorrectly assuming Volkov keeps them in line through intimidation like he did with Borg). This allows Kai to still have his interactions with Garland and battle with Brooklyn without having his character do a complete 180, and after he loses to Brooklyn and Volkov kicks him out, he gets Dranzer MS and the rest is closer to how it went in canon

OOOH INCH RESTING... def respect the determination to Get These Guys Some Personality, part of me if i were to do a rewrite is honestly tempted to just. Make New Characters to replace the goons with for funsies. i will say, with the 4 simultaneous battles there is something to be noted with the fact that around the point this would presumably happen you've also got the saint shields doing something similar with those 3 battles back-to-back

with zagart there's really like, two ways you can do it, either what you mentioned or really leaning into "Wow, Even Considering His Motivations Zagart Is Responsible For Some Real Fucked Up Shit Huh" (which is personally my preferred route). in general i need 2 talk about my thoughts on zagart sometime actually top 10 villains who make me go "get a load of this guy"

in terms of bega, a point i actually saw raised was the idea that kai is sort of relapsing into his old ways. actually hold on i got sidetracked and kind of forgot where i was going with this (besides the fact that it wasn't something i really thought about in-depth) whoops. BUT ANYWAY YEAH THE IDEA OF KAI GENUINELY TRYING TO HELP THEM IS NEAT.

#I KINDA. LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT FJMDKF #you've got mail!#beyblade

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homesliceadulting · 8 months

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So, I messed up. I wrote last week about how I was super lax, but still lost a little weight and so I was going to be working super hard this week to make some progress--that did not happen, obviously. I regained 1.8 lbs.

Without making excuses, there are a few reasons why. I ate out around 4-5 times this week--even though I made a meal that was supposed to last me through the week, some of the events of the week caused me to throw caution to the wind and indulge myself. On Wednesday, when I was planning to do a workout, I got a medical procedure done called an HSG. It's a procedure that requires a long needle to be inserted into my uterus to distribute dye that will allow my fertility specialist to get a 2D image of my lady parts. This was super painful--I underestimated how taxing it would be on me physically and my hubby and I had a fattening lunch to make me feel better. I had something called The Conversion--it's 3 cinnamon rolls converted into French toast. And that's only half of what I ate. I finished the rest for dinner. Also, because of how taxing the procedure was, I decided against working out that day. So I missed a workout. Also, I had free tickets to a Seattle Mariners game, so we ate out then. I actually ate out twice on that day since my job doesn't not provide free lunch on Fridays. On Thursday, our day to usually eat out for dinner, I had a big Five Guys burger & cajun fries after my husband and I received bad news about our genetic testing results. This week has been a little emotional when it comes to our fertility journey on top of being a week that was a little busy.

I don't know that I've really thought about emotional eating, but this week was full of it. I feel quite disappointed in myself for not doing what I was supposed to do while simultaneously trying to be kind for resorting to an old, comforting behavior during a difficult week. I have 4 weeks left to lose 9.4 lbs and I don't know if that's possible--I will have to be so dedicated and I can't guarantee that I can get back on the wagon, given how the past 2 weeks have gone. On the bright side, I did plan each day, unlike last week, so that's an improvement. I need to renew my commitment, but I feel sad and upset about my fertility journey so far. Even though the HSG and ultrasound I got this week were pretty positive, the genetic testing results were actually pretty scary--the whole reason I started on this journey was to prepare my body for children. It was my main motivator. And with the bad news about our genetic compatibility, I start to question all the hard work I have put in and the work I will continue to have to do to move forward with living a healthier lifestyle. While getting healthy has other benefits and rewards (feeling better, feeling lighter, having more endurance, experiencing less stress, seeing results, fitting into spaces better), with my north star of motivation (having kids) coming into question, I need to mentally adjust. I 100% believe that losing the weight is beneficial to my life. But I may need a new north star. And that's painful, especially since having kids is something me and my husband want and have been preparing for for a long time. We need to schedule a follow up with a genetic specialist to learn more about the risks, but with our limited knowledge, it's easy to assume that things won't be as easy as we'd hoped. It's an unanticipated monkey wrench and it's taking a bit of an emotional toll that has resulted in me questioning my own life goals and motivation. Well, this is something I should share with my therapist.

Overall, I'm not dead in the water. I can get back on the horse and I will--I may just need some time to really get back on it fully. I will do the best I can while still allowing space for me to process everything. Overall, I still feel good about my progress thus far and believe that if I can be super disciplined, I can achieve my goal of being under 300 lbs in 4 weeks. I've got this. I can do this. Hoping to share good news next week.

#weight goals #weight loss

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soletlunasims · 1 year

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(This next part may be a bit long and simultaneously vague due to what I kept as screenshots and how best I could explain the order of events)

Ares spent the rest of her highschool days studying hard and preparing for her future. For Ares, the future was coming very soon. She was doing exceptionally well in school and for all of her efforts, she was able to graduate very early.

Ares graduated highschool as a sophomore.

She was so excited to start a life of independence that she practically applied for university as soon as she got her diploma handed to her. She was very young still and so applying to university wasn't as simple as it would be for most uni students. Nevertheless, Ares found herself enrolled at Britechester University for a distinguished history degree which made Chip exceptionally proud. His daughter going to the same university he graduated from and at 16, no less!

To celebrate, the family decided to take a vacation to the snowy mountains of Mt. Komorebi. They even invited Gunnar since it would be the last time in quite a while before they could all get together again.

The group spent their vacation trying to plan a trip up the mountain. Everybody except Caleb who prefers to take full advantage of the lodging accomodations and the Onsen next door.

With everyone having little experience with rock climbing, they did not make it very far. However, Gunnar discovered an enjoyment for the activity. One he may pursue later in life on his own time, perhaps.

The group camped up on the first part of the mountain for one night before they decided to head back and not chance it with the little knowledge they had but while they were up there, they had a great time.

Gunnar and Ares played in the snow. They contemplated what was at the top of the mountain

-and-

Would they ever reach the top?

Ares and Gunnar spent a considerable amount of time in silence. Each one thinking about different things but with the same question: Where am I going in life?

For Ares, this question was, of course, about her impending enrollment at Britechester and what could come after that. She was always thinking about her future. That was nothing new to her. She thought about it so much that she feared what would happen once she achieved everything she set out to achieve.

For Gunnar. He never worried about his future. He was a smart enough kid and had no need to worry about his future, really. He was nowhere near as driven as Ares, though, but he never felt he needed to be. He wasn't trying to get into the best schools or secure a specific career for his future. He never worried about it. But now, something was worrying him. Something he never had to consider before. Where was he going in life? And would he remain friends with the only person he ever truly connected with? Was he getting left behind for real?

After what felt like a good 30 minutes of quiet contemplation, Ares breaks the silence:

Ares: "Whelp. You ready to call it a night? It's so cold out here. Dad's got the space heater on in the tent"

Ares turns to head towards the camp. Gunnar starts to follow behind but stops after a few steps "H..hey....Ares?"

Ares: "Yeah? What's up?"

Gunnar looks down at his feet with a sheepish smile.

"I'm proud of you"

Ares giggles: "What? Stop fooling around. C'mon. I think dad said he was making hot chocolate"

Gunnar: "okay but.... Hmmm"

Ares: "Dude. What's up? Everything okay?"

Gunnar: "I mean, yeah... It's just.... I'm gonna miss you, ya know?"

Ares: "Well I'm not going to be gone forever, Gunnar. I'll be back between semesters."

Ares noticed Gunnar's face drop ever more slightly at her mention of school. "Hey... I'm going to video call you everyday. And when I come home for break we will spend so much time together, you'll wish I was back at school.", Ares laughed.

Gunnar forces a chuckle but he holds back tears, "Well... I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. Just in case you forget about me, you know."

Ares: " How could I ever forget about you, Gunnar? You're my best friend. My confidant. No body knows you like I do and nobody knows me like you. I'll be thinking about you all of the time"

At that moment, Gunnar made the most terrifying realization. In the same moment, he lost all ability to filter his thoughts. As Ares turned to continue walking, Gunnar lightly grabbed her wrist.

"I love you"

Ares made wide eyes at him for a split second then immediately shrugged it off "Love you too, Dude. Now, for real, I'm cold"

Gunner didn't let go of her. "Ares. I love you"

Ares stopped dead in her tracks. She looked down at the ground. "Oh"

Gunnar let go of her wrist. "....sorry"

Ares: "oh... No. It's just... I.... I don't really know how to respond to that...."

Gunnar moves past Ares. "Forget I said anything. You said hot chocolate?"

Ares: "No. Gunner. Stop..... Please?"

Gunnar sighs and turns back to face Ares. He shrugs.

Ares finds it hard to look directly at Gunnar. "I... I don't know.... How I feel. I can't rationalize love, so I have never thought about it. But...." Ares meets Gunnar's gaze and sighs "but... I do feel something when I am with you. Something that I don't know how to explain.... The only way I know how to describe it is.... Well it's like..... When my dad's are laughing together about an inside joke or when one of them takes care of the other when they're sick. I know they love each other but is that part of their relationship what love feels like? I don't know.... I just... I don't understand it and that's frustrating for me."

Gunnar stares at her for about 20 seconds before he replies, "Then.... Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Ares reels, "hah....what?"

Gunnar: "Well.... I thought maybe it would help.... You know. I don't know. I don't want to make it awkward....."

Gunnar strokes the back of his head, his face getting red with embarrassment.

Ares: "Yes."

Gunnar: "...S.....Sorry?"

Ares gets closer to Gunnar: "Yeah. Okay.... I want you to kiss me."

Ares inches even closer.

Gunnar: " Ares..... Are you sure?"

Ares nods as she leans into Gunnar.....

They share a very passionate kiss before Gunnar pulls away and looks into Ares eyes.

Ares kept her eyes closed for a moment longer. Gunner chuckled. "So....?"

Ares scrunched her face "uh.... I..."

Gunnar stops her. "Actually.... Don't tell me. I would rather this moment stay exactly as it is."

Ares nods and rests her head on Gunnar's shoulder and they share a moment of peace before heading back to camp.

A few days later

Vacation is over and the group goes back home. Ares would be leaving for University in about two days. The day after harvest fest. She says her goodbyes to Gunnar when they get back from vacation and spends her remaining time packing her stuff. Chip packs her a whole bunch of home cooked meals the day of her departure.

She goes off to college for her first taste of independence.

#the sims 4 #not so berry #The Palette Legacy

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winniecouturebg · 2 years

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Must-Know Tips For Wedding Shopping| A Thorough Guide For Brides-To-Be

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