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#Without me they would be out of a job. Because I've been tearing myself into a million tiny pieces to hold the company together.
nerdnag · 10 months
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I hope everyone who reads this is having a better day than I am 🙏
#Away on a work thing for a couple of days and while my work situation has started to improve it's still not great in many aspects#Things can't just become amazing in no time I understand that#The main difference now from a month ago is that I now have someone who has my back#And who is systematically working to relieve me of a lot of burdensome work#And she is great. She is amazing. She really DOES have my back and I feel hopeful for the future. She cares.#But I still have coworkers (especially one of them) who are treating me so unfairly#I had to go to my hotel room and cry over the phone with my partner earlier today#Because I've worked my fucking ass off for such a long time to do good things and help my coworkers#And try to get us out of impossible situations as best as I can#And this is in no way meant to be a brag I just want to be extremely clear here about what's going on:#Without me they would be out of a job. Because I've been tearing myself into a million tiny pieces to hold the company together.#And what I get in return is literally... Complaints. And negativity. And annoyed comments about how they wish things could be better.#And the things they DO SEE that are GOOD they do not attribute to me at all#They have barely even thanked me for anything I have done#And I am supposed to fucking sit there. And smile. And be pleasant. And be social with them and have a haha good fun time with them.#But I am just so sick and tired of working my ass off for people who don't even care.#I don't even think anyone realises it but I am *this close* to just saying fuck it and quitting.#The only thing that's keeping me from doing that right now is the fact that this person who is slowly making things better for me DOES CARE#She is slowly realizing just how much of the company I'm carrying on my back and how close I am to collapsing under the ungrateful weight#And she has made it very clear to me that she will help me. That she sees me and supports me and that she will get things off my back.#And I really truly believe her#But if for some reason she would disappear... I don't think I can stay here anymore#So this is really the last chance I'm giving it#Anyway it will all turn out okay. I'm sure it will.#I'm just so disappointed and angry and sad right now#I've just suffered through a long dinner with them all and now I have escaped to my hotel room#I am going to comfort-binge Netflix for the rest of the night and try to be kind to myself.#Sorry for the long-ass vent#I'm impressed if you got this far#Tw vent
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butterfluffy · 10 months
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strawhats + d. mihawk with a healer!s/o
⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· what would it be like being a healer, and an s/o to these people?
⠀⠀➧ unlabeled | strawhats, d. mihawk (separate)  x gn!reader | multi-character headcanons
⠀⠀➧ warnings — idk, none, ig? mistakes may be present tho.. so do ignore them, thanks.
⠀⠀➧ requests are closed, sorryyyyy..!
⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: finally writing to clear out my inbox aAaaaAahhHhhHHHHh
req by @n0body-1mportant
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MONKEY D. LUFFY
This trouble maker captain right here is always injured lol
So that said, you always go on healing your big, trouble maker baby
Wild card : Though he can take punches, kicks, and even stabs without screaming in pain—Luffy starts whining like a poor puppy everytime he comes to ask you to patch him up.
“Y/n...! Look, look, I'm heavily injured! I'm reaallyy hurt! Won't you heal me!? And, and! Won't you give me a kiss, too, for doing a great job in beating that bastard's ass!?”
RORONOA ZORO
Same as his captain, the first mate is always injured—due to fights, his harsh training, and other causes
..Despite always being injured, Zoro hates getting himself patched up. But if you're the one doing the healing so he could get better, it's all good for him!
Wild card : Zoro doesn't care if he's greatly bleeding out during a fight—but outside a fight, if he got the smallest cut, Zoro immediately dashes to you to get himself healed up..!
“Hey, so, I was peeling myself apples a while ago using that ero-cook's damned knife—now I got this cut. Heal it now, and eat these with me, yeah?”
NAMI
Nami very much hates getting herself injured, especially getting scars
So Nami is quick to rush to you to get her injury fixed
Wild card : this happens quite rarely, since as said above, she hates getting scars—but, nami sometimes get herself injured on 'places' to see you flushed when she asks you to heal it~
“Babyyy..! Look, look! Look at my perfectly beautiful legs here! They've got a scar! Their beauty has been tarnished, so, please.. Take care of them, yeah~?”
USOPP
Usopp avoids getting himself injured at all cost.
And when he does get injured, he screeches as he dash towards you with tears on his eyes, asking you to heal his injury ASAP.
Wild card : I have this headcanon for Usopp where he's a real clutz, so he always has an injury here and there, and wounds that he doesn't know where it came from.
“Y-Y/n..! W..When I woke up, I saw this new wound on my arm..! I..I don't know where it came from—it's probably from the spirits that I've angered, waaahh!!”
(it was caused by Luffy. He was dreaming that Usopp was a piece of meat, and bit him during their sleep. 💀)
VINSMOKE SANJI
As the left hand man of the ship's captain, Sanji is always out on a fight to support his captain, so injuries are unavoidable.
He's developed durability to the beating up he receives and shows it off his coolness to you, BUT AFTER THE FIGHT, he whines.
Wild card : This perv right here always has a nosebleed everytime you go patch up his beaten up ass, causing you more trouble.
“My loveee..! I'm injured, I'm badly hurt..! Everything's so painful, so please, heal me with your magic kiss—*you kiss him* *he nosebleeds*”
NICO ROBIN
Robin isn't a big fan of getting injuries during combat, or whenever.
Though despite being injured, she handles it like a Queen! (You don't.)
Wild card : As said above she handles her injuries like the Queen she is, BUT, you don't—you're more panicked when she's injured as she stays calm while telling you some morbid jokes.
“Darling.. Please calm down. I'm not going to die, you know? All I got is this small scratch the size of a severed finger, so, don't worry about me too much, okay?”
FRANKY
SUPEEEERRRRR Franky right here who's a barely gets himself injured.
↑ Why? Because, he's a cyborg, a cool one who will barely get a scratch..!
Wild card : ...When Franky does get injured for some reason being during a fight or where else, he starts crying like a small child to you as he asks you to heal him...!
“Waaahh! This damned injury hurts so bad..! It's SUPEEEERRRR painful, I'm gonna cry! Y/n, Y/n, quick, quickly, heal me and ease my pain..!!”
DRACULE MIHAWK
The greatest swordsman? Injured?? Pfft, not a chance.
Though when he's going against strong fellas, he gets some scratches here and there, which he deals with by himself—not wanting to bother you.
Wild card : Mihawk doesn't show it, but, he loves, and finds it cute when you insist on helping him with his injury that he already had managed, or can obviously handle fixing by himself.
“My dear... I already fixed my injury, so don't worry about it. But.. If you really insist on using your ability to speed up the healing process.. Alright. I'll let you.”
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© butterfluffy 2023
⠀⠀ʚїɞ · likes, comments, reblogs, and/or feedbacks are highly appreciated!
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kiarastromboli · 5 months
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I missed u (Matt Sturniolo x Y/n)
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Masterlist.
Warning: Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)
Summary: You and your boyfriend Matt haven't seen each other for two weeks, and it's becoming unbearable for both of you.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Matt and I have been a couple for over a year now. Since the beginning of our relationship, we've always been very close, to the point where I don't think we've ever gone more than 2 days without seeing each other until last week.
I didn't think his absence would affect me so much. This week, Matt has been particularly busy with his YouTube channel, and he and his brothers have had quite a few projects to manage lately. As for me, I've been swamped with work; we're entering the Christmas season, so my job is busier than the rest of the year.
Anyway, it's been more than two weeks now since I've had the chance to see my boyfriend, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I have trouble sleeping without him, and I won't lie about the fact that I really want him right now. I know he feels the same way. The only times we've had the chance to call each other in the past two weeks were for him to relieve some pressure because, according to him, he "can't do it alone."
This leaves me desperate in the situation. I've tried to distract myself by masturbating several times, but it doesn't help. I'm incredibly horny, and the only thing that could help me right now is Matt.
I was quietly in bed at 1 a.m., unable to sleep as usual, when I was alerted by a message from my boyfriend on my phone.
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I knew teasing Matt wasn't a very good idea, firstly because he's been just as horny as me lately, so I knew it would frustrate him. Secondly, it would end up frustrating me too...
I could see Matt starting to type and then stopping, as if he was hesitant to send me a message. After waiting for several minutes, I decided to put my phone down when I realized he wouldn't respond.
Well, at least that's what I thought before receiving another notification on my phone...
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I got up from my bed to walk over to my wardrobe. I pulled out an assortment of lingerie I had bought a few days ago for this special occasion, especially for Matt. It was a blue lace set, Matt's favorite color. I knew it would drive him crazy to see me in it. The garter belt gave me a goddess-like figure, and the bra held my chest perfectly, although I knew Matt wouldn't waste a second to tear it off. I was already completely wet at the thought.
Barely finishing tidying up my room, he was already there knocking on my door. I hurried to run and open it for him in my little outfit.
"Hi-" he began to say before I cut him off, pulling him towards me by his collar and kissing him as I opened the door for him to enter.
"So eager," he said, disconnecting our lips with a smirk.
He took a step back to observe me in more detail when he saw what I was wearing. I could see his pupils dilate. I spun around to give him a better view, and he grabbed me by the waist after running his hand over his face to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"Do you like what you see?" I asked, smiling.
His grip on my waist tightened as I locked eyes with him. He licked his lips and bit them, continuing to look me up and down.
"Do you remember your safe word?" he asked, bringing his hand to my throat to force me to look him in the eyes.
"Ketchup," I said, chuckling to tease him. He tightened his hand around my throat, eliciting a soft moan from my lips.
"I'm serious, y/n. What's your safe word?" he said in an intimidating voice, bringing his lips close to mine.
"Hmm, red," I said in a tiny voice, biting my lips. I could feel a warmth building between my legs just from his voice.
His eyes left mine to gaze at my slightly swollen, rosy lips from our previous kiss. A smile played on the corner of his face before he started advancing towards my bedroom, not letting go of my throat.
"Kiss me," I begged when we reached my room, and the back of my legs touched the side of my bed.
"What did you say? I think I misheard," he replied, amused by my impatience and desire.
"Please, Matt, kiss me," I pleaded, frustrated that he wouldn't press his lips against mine again. I looked pathetic, and he loved it.
He took off his t-shirt. "Show me that you deserve it," he said, chuckling before pushing me onto the bed so that I sat right in front of him.
I raised my eyes to him, giving him an innocent doe-eyed look. He looked at me as if he were a predator, and I was his prey. My eyes drifted to the bulge in his gray sweatpants in front of me before returning my gaze to him.
"Don't play shy with me, baby. I know you're dying for it. Take it," he said in an authoritative tone, grabbing my hair in a ponytail to clear my face while licking his lips.
I brought both of my hands to the elastic of his sweatpants, pulling them down to his ankles, leaving him in his boxers. He was bulging in his boxers; I had almost forgotten how sizable it was. Not too big to be unmanageable, but just big enough to fill me where I needed it. However, it had been a while since we had been intimate, and I already dreaded the pain I would likely feel when he penetrates me.
"Stop looking at it like that, suck it before I shove it down your throat, y/n. Don't make me wait," he said, abruptly pulling on my hair, making me sigh in surprise.
I started to palm him through his boxers, looking him straight in the eyes. I could see the intense desire burning in his eyes, making me smile in the moment.
"This is the last time I'm warning you, y/n. Stop teasing me, take it," he said, trying to hold back a frustrated moan when I removed his boxers.
"Or what?" I said, smiling playfully. I wanted to push him to the edge; I knew he wouldn't be gentle with me, and that's what I wanted.
He smiled, licking his lips to suppress a chuckle.
"You want to play like that, huh?" he said, running his thumb over my lips. I quickly took it between my teeth and nodded, looking him in the eyes.
"Fuck, I missed you so much," he said, removing his thumb from my mouth to grasp his member and press it against my lips, signaling me to open my mouth, which I eventually did.
Without warning, he immediately thrust it deep into my throat, catching me off guard and making me cough around his cock.
He chuckled but didn't stop his momentum. He began guiding my head back and forth faster and faster. I tried my best not to choke and to suppress my gag reflex every time he hit the back of my throat.
"I missed fucking your pretty little mouth like this, princess," he said, breathing rapidly. "You're so good with your tongue," he added, throwing his head back, making me moan around his cock.
Tears started to flow down my cheeks due to his constant abuse on the back of my throat, and he quickly noticed, coming to wipe my tears away with his thumb.
"Look at you crying like a baby when you were acting all tough just a few minutes ago," he said with a smirk. I furrowed my brows, unable to help but moan every time he opened his mouth to say something.
I was completely at his mercy, and I loved it. He let go of my hair to grasp my face with both hands before thrusting into me at an inhuman speed. He released moans and groans, and it only excited me even more.
He pulled out of my mouth suddenly, causing me to let out a sigh of relief and frustration. "Why did you stop?" I asked, breathless.
He leaned in to kiss me fiercely. "I'm not done with you, baby, don't worry," he said, smiling against my lips before pushing me to move back towards my headboard. He was now positioned above me, his lips glued to mine without any struggle for dominance; his tongue didn't have to fight for control.
His hand moved from my cheek to my neck, then to my chest, where he paused for a moment to play with my nipples through my delicate lace bra, making me moan again, this time into our kiss. I felt completely intoxicated, drugged by him, by his lips on mine, and his hands on my body. I was on fire, completely consumed by him. I wanted him to do unimaginable things to me.
His hand left my chest to roam my waist, where he sank his fingers before descending to my lower abdomen.
My breathing quickened; he was getting closer and closer to where I needed him. I couldn't take it anymore; I only dreamed of one thing: him touching me.
He started playing with the lace of my panties, frustrating me at the moment. I wanted him to go further, but I knew he was punishing me for my previous behavior. "Matt, please," I said, moaning and closing my eyes. I needed him to touch me; I was dying for it.
"Please what, baby? You're a big girl; formulate a proper sentence, princess," he said with a big smile. He knew exactly what I wanted; he just wanted me to say it. He enjoyed seeing me beg; he loved it.
"Please touch me, I need you. Stop making me wait. I promise to behave like a good girl. Please, touch me, Matt," I pleaded, moaning pathetically. He directed his lips to my neck before finally touching me through my panties.
I let out a sigh of relief when I finally felt his fingers apply pressure to my clit. He made agonizingly slow circular motions, and I began to squirm against the mattress, frustrated because I wanted more. I needed more.
"Matt," I said in a frustrated moan, feeling him smile against the skin of my neck. He slipped his hand into my panties this time, letting out a surprised moan in my ear when he felt how wet I was for him.
"Soaked like a little slut," he said before coming to suck marks on my neck.
"Yes, your slut, and only yours," I replied, moaning when he started massaging my clit harder and faster. I couldn't help but moan at this point; it was stronger than me. I could feel that familiar knot tightening in my stomach; I had been waiting for days to finally climax properly.
But suddenly, and without warning, as I dangerously approached my orgasm, he removed his hand from my panties. I raised my head with a frustrated moan once again. He sat up to look me in the eyes with a satisfied smile. "What's wrong? Were you about to come? Did I stop at the wrong moment?" he said, chuckling.
"Matt," I told him, looking at him with frustration for what he had just inflicted on me. He took me by the waist to switch our positions this time, him below and me just above him.
"You're lucky it's been two weeks since we've done anything. If it weren't the case, I would have left you hanging to punish you for how you behaved with me," he said, grabbing me by the throat before giving me a hip thrust, rubbing his erection against my still clothed pussy.
I let out another moan before leaning slightly forward to rest on my arm placed on his chest. "Take off your panties before I tear them off," he said, smiling.
I moved off him to remove my panties and then straddled him. He directed me towards his face. "Ride my face, baby," he said authoritatively.
I hesitated for a moment before giving in and positioning myself just above his face. His arms wrapped around my thighs as if to prevent me from escaping his grasp. I slowly let myself fall onto his face, and when I felt his tongue on my pussy, I thought I was going to go completely insane.
He began to lick my clit going progressively faster and humping against me which sent vibrations directly against my clit, I hadn't put my weight on his face for fear of smothering him but I could feel my thighs weakening as the minutes passed. He began to lick my hole assiduously, his nose rubbing against my clit which pushed me even further towards my orgasm, his fingers were planted in my thighs when he felt them trembling because they were weakening, he came to press on them to force me to put all my weight on his face.
I tried to resist but I was so obsessed by the effect he was having on me that I finally cracked, leaving all my weight on his face, which caused the pressure of his nose on my clit to increase, making me moan louder than the previous ones.
I started rubbing back and forth on his face controlled by my pleasure it was all just too much for me the sensation in my lower belly started to become unbearable "M-matt- oh my- fuckkkk" I said closing my eyes feeling my orgasm approaching.
I raised my pelvis because I felt that all this stimulation was too much for me, the orgasm that was dangerously close was driving me crazy but Matt had another plan in mind with the help of his arms he came to press again on my thighs to force me to stay in place, he started to eat me with more passion I threw my head back when I felt my orgasm coming "fuck- I'm going to cum. "I groaned, almost screaming, at the pleasure he was giving me, and suddenly the pressure was off again. I came all over his face, shouting his names and a few insults along the way, before letting myself fall onto the bed next to him.
My eyes were closed, I was out of breath and Matt came to stand beside me, kissing my cheek before whispering in my ear "I'm still not done with you", I could hear his smirk in the tone of his sentence.
He straightened up and turned me against the mattress, now on my stomach. "Matt, wait, I'm too sensitive," I said, turning my head slightly towards him. He grabbed me by the hips and arched me so that I was level with his pelvis.
"I don't care you can take it I know you can." he said in my ear before straightening up and rubbing his member against my hole. His free hand caressed the length of my back before grabbing the back of my neck and pressing my head against his pillow.
He knew it'd been a while so he gently pushed inside me and I let out a moan of pain at the burning and stretching sensation, he stopped halfway through to ask me "Are you all right princess?" and I couldn't help but smile at his concern, it was so paradoxical that he should ask me that after fucking my throat like a monster and giving me one of the most powerful orgasms I'd ever had.
"Yes, baby, you can move, I just need to get back to your size," I said, moaning softly. He moved forward again until he hit bottom and let out a beautiful moan.
"I can't believe this pussy is mine." he said as he caressed my ass before starting to stroke back and forth.
"Fuck you're really tight I'm not going to last very long." he moaned clutching my hips as if his life depended on it.
I felt like I'd gone completely stupid because of his cock, it was going exactly where I needed it to go, the only sounds coming out of my mouth were moans and my boyfriend's name, as if my memory had been wiped and those were the things left out of my vocabulary.
He started to speed up the movement and he brought his hand to my clit to play with it was still super sensitive so I couldn't help gesticulating when he did that.
"I'm gonna fucking cum y/n" he said in an animalistic moan his movements had become severely fast he was slapping the bottom like I'd never been able to feel it in my belly.
"Cum with me princess." he said as he felt my pussy clench around him I didn't need to speak he knew my body by heart he knew I was about to cum.
And after a few more thrusts I came for the second time, my vagina convulsing around his cock, pushing it to the edge before he cum inside me.
We stayed in that position for a moment, just long enough to catch our breath, before he pulled out of me and lay down beside me.
With what little strength I had left, I snuggled up to him, "I love you, baby," he said, running his hand through my hair.
"I love you too," I replied in a tired voice with my eyes closed.
"I'm going to run you a bath, my princess, and I'll drop you off at work in the morning, don't worry." he said with a smile before standing up.
Masterlist.
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harrystylesfan2686 · 4 months
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Pieces Part 3
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: the aftermath of the break up has different effects on both, Azriel and Reader.
A/N: yall I'm sick🥲 the updates might be late but I'll try to post as much as possible. Hope you like this one!
Pieces Masterlist
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It's been one month.
One month of Healing.
When azriel left, I told myself that I will not contact him until I'm ready. Doesn't matter how much I'm missing him or wanting him. I will not talk to him until I know I won't take him back the second I see him again.
I gave myself two days. Two days to sulk all I wanted. I spent the whole time crying and feeling miserable about myself. Before Az left at least, I wasn't by myself. At least I saw him once a day.
Now? Nothing.
I am totally alone. His absence hit me Hard. Everything I saw, almost brought me to my knees.
The kitchen where we would make dinner together, laughing and joking with each other that many times ended with us covered in flour and syrup.
The couch where we would sit cuddling and talking until we fell asleep, always waking up with strained muscles.
His office where he would sit on his chair in front of his desk, writing out reports and whatnot while I sit in his armchair reading my book. Just enjoying each others company and occasionally taking breaks to make out on the very deck, and then some.
After those dreadful days though, I called Feyre and Mor and had a very much needed girls night. We took out a wine bottle and I spilled everything to them. My mind was too drunk to think my feelings about Elain might offend Feyre but she genuinely felt sad for me and embarrassed about her sister. The poor girl even apologised to my about Elain's behavior to which I immediately told her it wasn't her fault.
When I told them how lonely it got being alone in a big house like this, they suggested maybe I should get a job or something to keep my mind distracted and promised that they'll visit me often. So I did juat that.
I found a part time job at a local library. I have to admit, I'm really enjoying it. I'm the second assistant to the sweetest lady, Hilda, who owns the shop. I don't do much, just help her in small things like adjusting books on self or helping in shipping books out or in. Layla, the first assistant, handles most of the work around the shop. My job is basically doing what she asks of me. The salary isn't much but I don't care because it's never been about money.
The first week was very hard. Everyday after I came home, the silence felt like a slap on the face, reminding me of everything I lost.
But, slowly, I became comfortable with it. Now it's doesn't hurt me as it did before.
There were many times when I think of Azriel, tears filled my eyes, but I never let them free. I sucked them in and did anything else that didn't made me cry, like taking baths, baking my favorite chocolate brownies, reading in front of the fire place while drinking hot coco or calling my friends to take me shopping.
And as time went. I started to heal. I started to feel good, happier with myself. And without even realizing it, I started to love myself.
-☆-
Azriel
It's been one month.
One month of regretting everything I did to my mate.
I've spent my whole month sulking in this room, crying and regretting everytime I chose Elain over my wife. I haven't slept at all since I came here, just enough to keep me functioning. My appetite is gone. I don't eat unless Rhys come and force feeds me like I'm some baby.
I told Rhysand and Cassian everything the first morning i stayed here. Which earned me a flick to head by Cassian and a very disappointed look from Rhys. Even though they didn't give me any scolding(which I very much deserved), the flick and expression said enough.
Rhys has refrained me of any work, handling it himself or having someone else do it. While I have been sitting around here and hating myself. It seems like even my mind has declared itself an enemy, showing me memories of everytime I dismissed Y/N and hurt her in any way at most random times, cutting a deeper cut in my heart everytime.
"Hey Az, I was thinking if we could go out for dinner tonight? There is this new amazing restaurant I saw while walking near Sidra. I really want to try it." She told me as I put on my coat, ready to go.
"I can't, I have a mission for today. Rhys told me it's important so I can't skip. We'll go some other time. Okay?"
"Ok."
I could hear the excitement in her voice when she asked me and the hurt when I rejected her and promised to go another time. The time never came. She never asked again. And I never noticed.
"Az, are you awake?" She whispers in the dead of night. Both of us sleeping on the bed. My back to her, hoping to fall asleep quickly because I have early training tomorrow.
Cassian is spending time with Nesta more, so Rhys has told me to go to an illyrian camp to check how things are going. I have to wake and go there early to catch them off guard to see what's truly going on.
I can't do that if Y/N doesn't let me sleep.
I didn't answer her that night, hoping if i dont respond, she'll think im asleep and doesnt call me again. She really didnt call me again. I prioritized my sleep over her. Her voice sounded so small. She needed me. And I didn't care.
"So, I saw a really cute baby in garden today and..." I drone out her babbling and try to quickly I can get out of here, I promised Elain to help in her garden today. She'll be disappointed if I show up late.
"Az? You're listening to me right?" She suddenly questions, I clear my throat and answer a small, of course, she nods and takes a deep breath, not saying anything anymore. I sign in relief of the silence.
I put my head in my hands and tug hard on my hair, wanting to feel hurt, hurt the kind that she clearly felt and I didn't care.
I hate myself more and more as memories flash through my mind. I can't even cry at this point. I wished she'd hit me when we fought. Slaped and paunched some sense into me. I don't blame her at all for not talking to me. Gods, I wouldn't even blame her if she left me. I deserve it.
How do I fix this?
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Taglist: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget @going-through-shit @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @cat-or-kitten
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Note
AITA for slapping my mother in law?
I (27F) am married to my husband Jay (26M) and we recently had our first child Lily.
Well the pregnancy was a very very difficult one. I was throwing up every day for over six months, suffered long bouts of insomnia, developed gestational diabetes, standing up too fast made me incredibly dizzy, my entire body just constantly hurt, Lily kicked me so hard I legit had tears in my eyes (which combined with full body pain was...not pleasant) and to top it all off Lily weighed ELEVEN pounds and I tore really really badly.
Yeah...ow.
I love my daughter to death but never again. Ever.
Anyways after that literal hell of a pregnancy, I've been more or less bedbound for several weeks now while healing from that entire ordeal. Which means Jay has been taking care of pretty much everything, keeping the house clean, making food, taking care of me and Lily, etc. Its a lot I know and I wish I could do more to help but Jay has been insisting that I rest and recover and that he's got this. He's been handling everything like an absolute champ. Honestly if I didnt have him I dont know how I would be doing anything.
Well this morning Jay's parents came to visit and meet their granddaughter. So I was moved to the living room so I could introduce them to Lily and socialize a bit while Jay cooked lunch.
Now Jay's parents are very traditional. They believe that men make the money and that its the woman's job to take care of the house, the cooking, and the children.
You can probably see where this is going.
I introduce Mother in law to Lily and we get to talking. (Father in law went outside to go smoke)
Thats when mother in law asks why Jay is cooking. More importantly why Im NOT cooking. I tell her I physically cant even stand UP without help so how am I supposed to cook.
She only scoffed saying that I was just making excuses. I am very used to her bullshit by now so I just roll my eyes.
Then Lily started crying because she needed a diaper change. Mother in law tells me to go change her diaper. Again I cant even stand up by myself, much less get up to change a diaper.
I call Jay and he happily comes to get our daughter. Mother in law starts yelling, telling Jay no that I should do it because its my job. She grabs Lily and shoves her back into my arms and tells me to get up and go do it.
Jay, my wonderful angel, tried to tell her that I physically couldnt move for weeks and to mind her own damn business.
She then started yelling even more saying that I was making my husband do my job for me, calling me lazy and a slut (What that has anything to do with this? I have no idea) she went off on a complete tangent about how it was a woman's job to take care of the home and the children, that SHE managed just fine and she had five small children, that I was completely emasculating Jay, that I was a disgrace, etc.
She just kept going and going while not letting me and Jay even get a word in. Until eventually she said that my daughter will probably grow up to be a whore like I am.
I think it was a mix of pure exhaustion and hormones because somehow I managed to stand up for a moment and slap her across the face before immediately falling back on the couch.
Jay looked shocked, Mother in law looked livid. (Father in law was just watching from the doorway, equally as shocked.)
Mother in law started full on screaming, calling me every single name in the book until father in law physically dragged her out of the house by her arm.
Now hours later my phone has been blowing up with messages from my brothers and sister in laws, telling me that I was an asshole and that I had no excuse for hitting their mother.
Hell even my friends think I was in the wrong for hitting her (completely ignoring how she was yelling, calling me horrible names, in front of a newborn baby no less.)
So AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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musette22 · 1 year
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I know this has been said so many times in so many different ways, and I have nothing new to add, really. But I am going to say it anyway, because I am just so ridiculously grateful for fanfiction writers. There are innumerable fanfics out there - incredible, mind-blowing stories that are all shared with us for free. Written out of a pure, profound love for existing stories and characters, a need to know them better, explore them, add to them, do something with them the source material never dared. To make ourselves and others feel better, sometimes worse, but mostly just to make us feel.
And don't get me started on the quality of so much of the fanfiction out there. I know talent is an debatable term, but for want of a better one: the sheer talent and dedication of so many of these authors, most of whom have actual, real life jobs and families and other responsibilities, is just astounding. So many ideas, so many beautiful words, so much creativity. As a fanfiction writer myself, I know that it can sometimes be challenging to be creative, to find time and energy to write, when life is just. So much. And yet the love I have for these characters just leaves me desperately wanting to make time and energy to tell the stories I want to tell. Writing fanfiction is a hobby, yes, but for many people, it's also more than a hobby. It's a passion, a deeply rooted desire, even a community.
As a reader, too, I know how incredibly valuable and important these stories can be. I've spent the past few days doing nothing but devouring fic because I've been feeling too crummy to do anything else, and it's been an absolute blessing. Every fic I read was more amazing than the last. They all made me cry, laugh, think, yearn, and just feel so much better. So, I know this has been said many times before, but I just had to tell you again how much I love you, fanfiction writers. Love you with my whole entire, sappy, zero-chill heart.
Thank you for everything you do, all the hours, the blood, sweat and tears, the love you put into your stories, and thank you for sharing them. For just handing them over and releasing them into our custody once they're done, for all of us to read and enjoy, expecting nothing in return but some kudos and comments. That's incredible, ok? You're all incredible, whether your stories are 'popular' or not. So many people would be utterly bereft without you and your efforts, and I just needed to tell you again how appreciated you are ♥️
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deblklesb · 8 months
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Maybe reader goes into a full autistic/neurodivergent shutdown and Abby helps reader?
(disclaimer: I'll describe it based on my personal experience with shutdowns and also on what I've seen some people sharing. not all autistic people have the same experience, please keep that in mind)
i just KNOW abby would be so so supportive and caring with you!
like depending on the au she could have more or less knowledge about autism, i think doctor!abby could have more experience after appointments with autistic patients and etc. (she went out of her way to learn more in order to create a better experience to them), but either way would first and foremost ask you in simple questions about what you need, as in presenting options for you that doesn't need too much to think about.
"Want me to stay with you?"
"Hey, I brought water for you, babe. I'll leave the bottle in the bedside table"
"You need to eat, bun. I'll bring something for you okay?"
She'll get your favorite food. And if there's none in the house (most of the times you don't run out of your comfort food, but anything can happen) she calls for some delivery - she's not leaving you the first times because she doesn't know what you might need.
The lights bother you even more in shutdowns, so she'll have just one light on in the house, maybe the bathroom because it's central, or the kitchen because it's farther from your room. Sometimes you like to watch your favorite show or favorite movie on and on, so she tries not to interrupt.
There are times when you specifically ask her to stay with you, and so she does. If working next to you it's okay, she can lay down by your side and do some, just the very necessary, before giving you her undivided attention. At this point she also knows some lines of the movies, and so she repeats them along and laughs with you.
Abby is a-okay with being your personal weight blanket. Sometimes you just need her to lay on top of you, between your legs, and she stays there happily. You love how warm she is, and that she lets you stim caressing her skin and making braids on her hair over and over.
Once you got months without a shutdown, so when it came it made you so frustrated and nervous. Abby got home to find you laying on the floor due to the very hot day, face swollen with tear trails, only panties on your body; your skin was directly in contact with the cold ground as you looked at the TV.
"Hey, babe", she said, putting the keys on the table. When you didn't answer, she left her bag at the corridor and took out the shoes, coming closer. She crouched next to you, noticing how you weren't looking at her. "Bun? Are you okay?"
You just shook your head, still looking at the TV. Silent, you pulled your phone closer and wrote on the notes app.
The day was shit. it's too hot so i was sweating all the time and I'm already feeling like crap. my boss was so fucking stupid, he doesn't know how to maintain a good work place and just acts like all ableism is just jokes between co-workers when i distinctively told him it's affecting my job. I can't punch that motherfucker of coworker in the face because i would be fired and i need the job. and on top of all of that, traffic was hell, people kept honking all the time up and down, the chatting in the bus sounded louder than usual and i think my body doesn't want to stay together anymore because of this godforsaken heat.
Her blue eyes, bathed by the cool LED of the TV, wandered around the screen as she read you rant. And then she was seating there, not too close but enough for you to feel her presence.
"I'm so so sorry, bun", she whispered, not touching you. Your feet were brushing against each other, since the sensation soothed you, and the open window let the smallest wind come inside the apartment. "Have you eaten?"
I haven't been able to get up after i showered
"Okay. I'll go take a shower myself and then I'll make us something to eat, alright?"
She was next to you all the time that night. She didn't ask you nothing the whole time, just putting the food for you and then sitting there on the floor so you could eat together. Abby didn't come too close because she knew the temperature wasn't ideal and you both didn't had the money to get an air-conditioning yet, she just stated that you could come to her when you felt comfortable to do so and offered her hand to be held in the mean time.
After an impossible to count amount of time, you rested your head on her thigh, still quiet and watching the cartoon.
"Oh my God, Dooffenschmirtz' building looks so much like Ferb. Like, the shape... I never noticed that before", she muttered more to herself, but the fact brought a chuckle out of you. And as simple as it was, it made her chest a little bit warmer; to see you slowly relaxing and regulating.
"Do you want to sleep on our bed or here on the living room, babe?" She asked after a long time, because it was getting late and soon you'd have to sleep.
The living room was cooler than your room, and the mattress could be so hot during the night you'd wake up all sweaty and sticky - if the heat during the day was painful, waking up on drenched sheets would make you so so much worst. And you had that traveling mattress, you could put it on the floor and stay there for the rest of the night, next to the living room window.
"I can stay on the couch so you won't be alone", she added.
I guess I'll sleep here. We can fix the area to be more comfortable. I'll help you.
You stood slowly and the place was soon being organized to better accommodate you both. She got some pillows and thin sheets, you padded the simple mattress and covered the couch with a duvet to make it more comfortable for Abby.
That night she slept with her hand between yours, and you felt so grateful for having someone that would be with you through those times. You kept caressing her hand with your thumb because the stim was soothing you, untill you fell asleep with some cool wind coming from the restless city night.
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heeversee · 4 months
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New year with death.
Oneshot.
Genre: horror romance, paranormal romance.
Tags: suicide, romance, mention of blood, death and mild smut.
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It was 31st of December, you spent your new year alone without going to any parties or hanging out with friends.
You stayed home all day reading books and cooking food. All lonely and sad. you had family but they lived far away from you.
Your ex cheated on you and this year has made you question all your life decisions.
You finally decided that you could no longer continue to live like a pathetic person. You had lost all your strength to fight back against the world. And now finally you decided to end the things.
You got hold of a sharp knife. You were a looser, you had nothing to loose. Your family didn't contact you every since you moved out and your ex boyfriend had cheated on you with your only bestfriend. Which brok your heart that you couldn't handle.
You move your hand with blank eyes. The knife slicing your wrist. A lone tear escapes your eyes.
You felt so alone, the world seems so bleak, and there's nothing to look forward to. You felt like there's no one there for you, no one who understands. You can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and just wanted to give up.
You breath heavily as your blood passes.
You see a tall shadow about you. The person so handsome looking at you with soft eyes
"who... Are you?" You question with little life left in you
"why.... Why did you do this baby... Why ..." The man replied with his beautiful comforting voice.
"I'm tired let me sleep now, go" you shoo the man away. You were now soaked in your own blood. Smiling not regretting any decision you made, now you can finally be at peace.
Well that's what you thought until you saw yourself with energy again. You were shocked when you got up from the pool of blood. Your wrist suddenly stopped bleeding. You even had the energy to walk and move around.
"how i this possible" you mutter under your breath not understanding the situation.
You saw that annoying looming figure again. Irritated you get up and went closer to the man. You freeze in your tracks when you see the man.
His eyes are pitch white and his face as beautiful as an angles.
"are you an angel?"
You hear the man chuckle deeply. "On no dear.... I'm the thing that you have been waiting for"
"what the fuck.. and why are you in my home?" You yell at him.
"I'm something that you begged for my darling" he whispered in your ear.
"I'm death"
You wear suddenly pinned to the wall.
"and you belong to me" he said and pulled you in a passionate kiss
Death. He was death.
Death was obsessed with you. He loved you so much that he could not bear to let you go. But he knew that, as the embodiment of death, he had no right to be with you. Yet, despite the inevitability of you demise, Death could not let you go. It was his duty to take your life, but in his heart, he wanted you to stay with him forever.
Death watched the girl intently, waiting for the perfect moment to claim you for himself. He was always nearby, watching you with his dark, empty eyes. He was in love with you and wanted nothing more than to possess you. But no matter how much Death wanted you, he knew that one day he would be forced to take you. The fact that it was his duty to eventually claim you only made his obsession with you deeper and more intense.
"my beloved darling, I've always hated my job as death. But now that you have come so close to me I can't stop myself to make you mine. I wish nothing but to be with you. Breathe you.. love you... All the pain you had will pass away eventually my love." Death whisperd.
"let me spend this beautiful night with you my love" he asked politely.
You were confused not knowing where this is but you couldn't stop Yourself for not wanting a man as beautiful as him. His white eyes stare at you.. you felt your core ache for him.
You thought maybe it because you never had sex in your life. You didn't wanted to die virgin, and your good for nothing ex boyfriend never made you feel safe enough.
You dive into a wild kiss. You knew where this was going you knew it very well. And you were all in for it.
"take it easy love" death says as he enters you in one thrust.
..time skips.....
Death watches you breath heavily and go back to deep slumber.
He kissed your forehead softly and you sunggle looking up at him frowning.
"I know this has to be a dream but thank you for showing love. I've never experienced someone being so gentle and caring with me." you softly whisperd.
You touch his face and mumble "oh, you never told me your name" you say and your hands slip off lifeless and limp.
Death's obsession with you was not only driven by his affection for you, but also by his fear of losing you. He loved you so deeply and so passionately that the thought of letting you go was unbearable for him. It was the inevitability of your death that made him desperately want to keep you for himself. But he knew he had to fulfill his duty and it tore his heart apart.
"it's Heeseung my love. Lee Heeseung"
His sad voice drift further apart as you go into deep sleep forever.
The clock struck 12 and heeseung could hear the sound of people yelling and wishing eachother new year the sound of fire crackers exploding.
His eyes drift to find your dead body blue and cold with sitll eyes staring at him.
"it's the end my love for you and for me, Happy new year."
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Awfully sad ending 😭 I'm so sorry y'all.
I'm officially making @rayofsunshineeee my bestie. 💍
Happy new year my babies.
Thank you for staying with me and I love you all.
I hope you live a long and happy life, be successful and live your life.
Thank you. This is kwang Jiah meet you next year babies.
I really love you🎀🪐
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lyon-amore · 7 days
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*Attention: This story is inspired by the canon of the game due to the future of the characters and the sequel to the oneshot 'Crossed destinies'.
    It couldn't be happening to me. No…
     I look at the blue screen of the computer, with a small —or perhaps greater— anxiety of not knowing what to do.
   "Come on, react," I comment, pressing all the keys, but I don't dare take out the flash drive or turn it off. “Please don't mess up.”
     Luckily, I had called the secretary's office explaining that I had a problem and that they would look for the programming teacher.
     I lean on the table, biting my nails. A bad habit I've had for years. It's incredible that it has to happen to me, why did it happen? I have done what he told me, what could have been the problem?
    I try to type again while following the instructions, but the screen turns blue again.
   <<Great, you did a good job, Macie.>>
     I jump a little in place when I hear the voice. A familiar voice. I heard it two years ago.
     I turn around finding a boy with black hair and green eyes.
   “It can't be…” I mutter to myself.
   “It cannot be what?” he asks me, adjusting his backpack.
     I shake my head, trying to come back to earth. Now I was ashamed to speak.
   <<Also, renember that you have a boyfriend, silly.>>
     Renember? Even my thoughts get nervous without being able to think about the words clearly.
     I see the boy waiting for me to speak, he even raises an eyebrow, impatient.
   "Sorry, I was..." I took a deep breath, pointing to the computer. "I just don't know what happened, it was fine a moment ago and now, poof!" I raise my arms, slapping the sides of my body, nodding with eyes almost full of tears. “Goodbye, computer.”
   “Just like that?” He pushes me aside carefully, even with a small sorry.
    He start typing. It also gives him an error.
   “Just like that,” I cross my arms, watching him.
    I bite my lip as I tilt my head, looking at his―
   “Alright, I know what happened.”
I react, clearing my throat.
   “What happened?”
    He steps aside and I approach him. He points to the flash drive connected to the tower.
    “Where did you get the flash drive from?”
   “A third-grade student gave it to me,” I answer, beginning to think of the worst. “He told me that the teacher needed me to send her some urgent files and since he was busy, if I could do it.”
    He makes a sound of agreement but crosses his arms as he puts a hand to his chin.
   "Well, I have two news for you: One good and one bad." He looks me directly in the eyes and in part, I feel that it comforts me. "Which one do you want to hear first?"
   "The bad one," I answer with fear, "perhaps the good one will relieve me later."
    He lets out a laugh that makes me fall in love with it. I hope hr don't notice that I just blushed because I notice heat in my cheeks.
   "The bad thing is that they have played the joke that is played on first years—"
   "I'm a first year...”
   “Oh…” he scratches the back of his neck, nervous. “Well, officially welcome to the university.”
   “Thank you…” I bow my head, with a little discomfort.
    I didn't think this happened at this university, I thought it was prestigious, that's why I didn't choose to study outside the country.
   “Although it was supposed to be already prohibited since it can generate a high cost in repairing these computers.”
   “Oh yeah?” I look at him with curiosity at his words.
   “Each class had a flash drive like these to scare the first years, they gave it to the second years to continue the tradition,” he leans on the table, explaining it. “But seeing that each time the “virus”” he makes quotes with his hands “was much more dangerous, they banned it.”
    So a virus to scare the new ones. Well, it's not even a bit funny, I've found myself having to ask my parents for money and it's enough that they pay for my apartment because I wanted to live alone. At least until I find a job.
    I try to calm down, there is supposed to be a good part of all this.
   “Okay, and the good news?”
    The boy turns the backpack around and takes out a flash drive from one of the pockets.
   “I am the one they call when this happens,” I notice pride in his voice when he says it.
   “Or maybe you're the one who made these flash drives that make computers explode.”
   “No, it is not my style, I prefer to be more stealthy.”
     I let out a laugh, remembering his entrance. I didn't even notice him when he arrived.
     He turns around and places the flash drive in the other USB connection. He sits in the chair and begins to work.
     I sit at the desk, watching him work. I try to place my skirt better so that my legs can't be seen, I don't want to distract him. 
   <<Or do I? Wait, what am I thinking? Ugh… Calm down, you don't even know if he's dating anyone, it's weird that you're at the same university. Don't do this to Klaus, he's a good boy.>>
   “Leave.”
   “What?” I wake up from my thoughts. Looking at him confused.
   "You can leave if you want, it is just fixing it."
   "I won't stay calm until I see it fixed." I see him leaning on the table, looking at me, raising his eyebrows as if he were saying, 'Don't you trust me?'. “It's just that I've gotten nervous and I need to see that it's fixed, and also return the flash drive to that guy and tell him that his joke almost cost me a foot in the grave.”
     He lets out a kind of laugh —I think—, as if my expression had amused him. I don't see him looking at me even once, so he's not that type of guy... I like him.
     With a smile, I get off the table. It is approved. He's not a pervert... For now...
    I sit in the chair next to him, watching him work. I may know how to type quickly, but he doesn't seem to even touch the keys. I stare at his hands. His fingers are long. Again, another heat wave. I shake my head, trying to shake these thoughts away. I just didn't believe I would see him here. What were the chances of finding him again?
   “It will be fine, do not worry,” he says with a smile without looking away from the screen.
   "It's not..." I bite my tongue, it's better if I don't say anything. "Yes, I'm worried, too worried."
   “Well, do not worry, that is why I am here.” He looks at me and winks.
    I roll my yes. He thinks he's good with his skills, huh?
   “Do you do this thing of fixing the computer of newbies who play pranks?” I ask, resting my chin on my hand.
   "No, it is been about two years since I fixed one," he answers, giving me a quick look. “I am surprised that flash drives are still in circulation, they are supposed to get rid of them.”
   "Well, someone didn't do it in my career."
   “What do you study?”
   “Journalism.”
   “I understand then,” I blink, confuse. “There is a promotion to get a future position in the news 'The Vigilant’', so everyone is wanting to be on the lists.”
   “And how do you know that?” I tilt my head, curious “Do you also study journalism?”
    He shakes his head, sighing a little heavier.
   "No, my..." I see that he bites his lips, is he hesitating? "My girlfriend studies journalism."
   "Oh..." well, it's a way to find out that we're both caught and that I don't have to make mental scenes. I have too many The Vampire Diaries in my head. “And you study programming,” I point to the computer.
   "If you say it because of how to use the computer, that's because I have known how to use it since I was a kid." I see how his eyes shine when he pronounces those words. It's almost as if he has transported him to another time.
    I smile as I think it's adorable. If he don't study something he already know, it must be so he don't get bored in class. But if he have chosen something that has nothing to do with his specialty, that is either because he like to learn or because he have something else that he like. At least I think someone like him would choose something he likes so as not to spend years bored at university.
     Hearing the notification sound from my phone, I raise my hand in apology for stopping the conversation.
     A smile appears on my face.
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Klaus
Macie, this weekend there is a party at a friend's house, are you in? 😉
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    I smile looking at the mobile screen. Klaus is a good boy and my first boyfriend. The truth is that he behaves well with me and has a fun side. Although maybe that's why I hang out with him, because my cousin chose him as a friend. So that means he's not a bad guy. Although it's not what I've been dreaming of for two years, but... It's nice to be with him. But we almost never get to see each other.
   “It seems like you are better,” I hear the boy say and I look up from my phone.
   “Oh, my boyfriend just sent me a message,” I respond with a happy tone. “We barely get to see each other because he lives a couple of hours away from the city, so it's nice when he remembers me for little things.”
   “Oh, a long-distance relationship?” He raised an eyebrow at her question. Was the tone of annoyance?
   “Yes, is there something wrong?”
    He sigh and continue.
   “Well, I do not think those kinds of relationships work.”
    I let out a heavy air, along with a somewhat annoying laugh. What does this boy have to say about my life? I already found something wrong with him.
   "Sorry, but a long-distance relationship is very romantic." I cross my arms, leaning back in the chair. “then the reunion is magical.” I don't even know why I get angry, if I only said that it is a few hours from the city, it's not like Klaus lives outside the country.
   “Until one of the people in the couple doubts you or is constantly wanting to know who you are with,” I notice an annoyed tone. Is he saying it because of his girlfriend or because of a previous experience?
   “Have you already been through that?” I ask without realizing that maybe I shouldn't have.
    He shoots me a look, though it's not like he's angry. He seems rather tired.
   “You really like to talk,” he sighs and returns to the computer.
   "If you want, I'll start talking to the chair," I point my head at his seat and I see him smile as he shakes his head. "You're the only one in this room I can talk to."
    I see the computer turn off and I open my eyes suddenly. He wasn't going to fix it?
I shout alerting him to what he's doing, thinking it's another prank by the college veterans. I'm sure he played it on me.
     The boy looks at me and points at the screen, so that I can pay attention and stop screaming like a crazy woman —because I look like that— and I see that in reality... It restarts.
     I let out a sigh, relieved.
   “You could have warned me,” I hit him on the arm, angry.
   “It was more fun to see your reaction,” I blush, embarrassed by his stupid smile now. Okay, he's good with computers, I admit it. “And yes.”
   “Yes what?” I look at him confuse at his words.
   "Yes, I have been through that," he shrugs, "or well... I am going through it."
    I bite my lip, a little uncomfortable. Maybe we shouldn't have talked about it, but... 
   “Then she is not the right person if she doubts you,” I answer directly. 
   "Oh, it's not because she doubts, it's..." he looks concentrated at the screen, arms crossed. “Let me say it is because of her, she has been through terrible things and I am here to support her in whatever she needs.”
    I do something that I haven't done in a long time: I analyze him. I try to guess his expression, what does he mean, is he really comfortable with that relationship? But... His words have been very tender. That girl is lucky to have a boyfriend like him, I hope she's not beating him up too much with her jealousy or whatever.
   "Well, at least it's confirmed that you're trustworthy." I smile mischievously and he looks at me, raising an eyebrow, confused. “Your girlfriend can rest assured that you have not cheated on her.”
   "Wait, all this time you thought I was trying to hit on you?" ‘Trying to hit on me'? Is that still said today?
    I let out a small laugh at his words. He is cute.
   "I do not know what kind of men you have encountered, but you have offended me, I have only come to fix the computer." I see him typing on the screen again, angry.
   "Believe me, you've left me with a good impression, Mr. Computer technician." I lean on the table, smiling at him.
    He looks at me surreptitiously and I see that... Is he blushing? I don't think he's used to compliments.
    He finish typing and restart the computer. This time I stay quiet waiting while I bite my nails.
   “You are going to get hurt,” I hear him tell me and I lower my hand slowly, embarrassed by my attitude. “Look, I already fix it.”
   The computer turns on again, along with the files that were on the screen. I breathe a sigh of relief.
   "I admit it, you're good," I smile, getting a little closer to him to see the screen better. “If I have a problem with my computer, can I call you?” I look at him and see that he has been looking at me “Are you okay?”
   “Yes, I am fine,” he answers and gets up from the chair. I do the same and he takes out the flash drive, extending his hand to me, as if he were putting distance between the two of them. “Here, try not to get into a fight with the boy.”
   “Oh, don't worry, I'm just going to hide his body in the next lake I find,” I reply seriously and he laughs.
“Do not be too hard on him,” he says with a serious look. ''You do not need to make an adult cry.''
“I like to be hard sometimes,” I smile evilly and he lets out another laugh at my comment, but his face turns a little red.
He extends his hand again and looks me in the eyes. I wonder what he must be thinking now.
     I also extend my hand and he puts the flash drive in my hand. I try to calm down when I notice his hand, I don't want to think that he did it on purpose, but it was because of the speed of wanting to give it to me and that's why it touched me. I try to distract myself by keeping my eyes on the small object, looking away. I'm sure he can tell I'm red too. He must think I'm like a teenage watching her favorite actor.
     I turn the small object in my hand. And I don't think I can erase my stupid smile. I’m happy to have seen him again. I thought I would never do it and I still don't know what his name is. Maybe I can ask him now what I couldn't do two years ago.
   "Hey, what is your—" I look up and see that he's gone.
    I turn around and see him walking out the door. Has he left without saying goodbye? But why is he so rude? Or... Maybe he didn't like me...
   “Again, without knowing his name,” I whisper to myself, squeezing my hand tightly on the flash drive.
    Lian walks through the door, with a smile.
   “Who is the guy who just left here?!” She asks, approaching me, excited.
   “Just someone who has helped me,” I grab my things and put my bag on my shoulder, while my jacket is in my hand.
   “And he has a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Married?” I shake my head and she laughs. “At least he admits that he was prettier than Klaus.”
    I kept thinking about the boy and his words towards his girlfriend. I found him two years later. But I want him to be happy. I won't get involved in his life, in fact, I'm glad he found someone and he cares about her.
   "Hey Lian, shall we go to the cafeteria in the student area?" I ask to change the subject.
   “Sure, I'd like to have a strong one.”
    I set up the chairs and turn off the computer, feeling a little homesick at the moment.
    In the end, I will keep this reunion and the first one deep in my heart. And the last thing I want to do is get into a relationship when I'm also dating someone.
    I hope we are both happy with our respective partners, Mr. Computer technician.
Goodbye first and sad love
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momolady · 5 months
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Your Support & the Future of My Patreon
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Hello everyone! This is going to be a little bit of a heart to heart with all of you, I hope that's okay.
To start with, I just have to say, I never been more grateful for a group of people in my life. Having all of you here, past and present readers, has been one of the greatest and most rewarding experiences of my life. I've been living my dream for six years now, and I am brought to tears by all your love and support. 
If I could live and feed off your comments, kindness, and every word read, I'd be the richest person in the world. 
Unfortunately, as much as I want to, that's not how the world works. And doubled unfortunately, I know the world is affecting all of us. Inflation is crazy, the holidays are happening, everything around us is in utter chaos. As such, i 100% expected to see a dip in the support on this page. I did not expect how bad it would get. Three months about, I was around 300 supporters and the amount coming in was enough to where I could take care of myself and this page without issue. Unfortunately, Patreon's change in payout methods has resulted in me losing over fifty subscribers that I cannot seem to get back.
Let me just say, i do not blame a single one of you. If anything, I blame myself more. I know this past year has no been my best. Health issues, burn out, and several other factors have made my writing and this page suffer, and for that I apologize deeply to all of you. I am working to get better, I can tell I am doing better. I enjoy writing so much better, as most of my commissioners recently can tell you I've been going slow but I have been writing more exuberantly when I do. I've been going over word count of my own accord because I'm finding joy in my craft again. I'm working with people to edit and finish Ozren, and hopefully once that is published I will see an increase and return in supporters. But for now, my subscriber count has fallen so low, there will be changes that will take effect in 2024.
I am still figuring out those changes, and it will mainly affect mail outs. I cannot afford postage regularly, and I have to shop sales for stickers and prints. I also want to be able to pay artists what they are worth, so less art is being produced. So mail outs may become a far and few between thing. I will be able to do ebooks more regularly now that I know I can add them to posts. Posts scheduling may have to change as I may have to take up another job since patreon support has taken a dip and commissions have slowed to a trickle. Once again, this is no one's fault except maybe my own an the way the world is. I understand that I would rather have food than words, trust me! I am uncertain here about all this, but the new year will help give me clarity. 
Until then, December is going to have lots of cool new stories, including a special Christmas story like always. This one will be my take on Hallmark movies with orcs and childhood friends in the mix. I'm really looking forward to the future despite all this, and I still want to create stories that inspire and comfort all of you. 
I cannot thank you enough, and I will never be able to fully show my gratitude to all of you, past, present, and future. Thank you, my god, you're all amazing, wonderful, beautiful people. I could not ask for a better more loving community around me.
With all my love, Momo/Haley
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airi-p4 · 8 months
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It should have been me!
Hi! I wrote this short Adrien salt + Lukanette endgame fic a while ago. Enjoy?
Summary
Ladybug was mad, ENRAGED. 
Yet- how come Chat Noir was the one akumatized instead, when everything was HIS FAULT? It should be her!
AO3
____________________________________
This was so wrong!!
She should have been akumatized instead of him!
He was the one who deceived her! 
And now Chat noir- Chat Blanc- was walking around trying to destroy her. And she, Ladybug, ran, jumping on the roofs of the Parisian buildings, and dodging destructive waves aiming for her.
So unfair!
___
It all started when Chat Noir finally stopped his flirting. 
"I understand you're not comfortable, so I'll stop. Besides, I'm in love with someone else now," he had said. 
Ladybug was grateful. Really grateful. He finally seemed to take his job seriously and their teamwork improved. It was nice to see that he changed.
Now, she didn't have to roll her eyes at unsolicited advances or for not going on dates she never agreed to. Everything stood professional. 
Until that night. 
All because she had let her guard down and allowed her excited Marinette self say too much. How could she have imagined that…
"You look happy tonight, Ladybug" Chat Noir hummed. "Did something good happen?"
"Yes. Very good" she smiled widely. 
"Oh? What is it?"
"I don't know if I should tell you, but I'm so excited and-"
"Oh?" He smiled and leaned his head to the side, showing curiosity. He imagined that she may have been accepted to her dream university as she mentioned before, but he was eager for her to tell him. 
Until he actually heard it. It wasn’t what he had expected.
"I have a boyfriend," she confessed. "We've been close friends for a long time and I still can't believe we feel the same! He's amazing and the most caring boy I've ever met. I’m so happy! I love him very much!" She squealed.
And that's what unleashed the storm.
"No!" Chat Noir stood up aggressively. "You can't have a boyfriend! You're supposed to be with ME! We're meant for each other! I even restrained myself from telling you how much I love you or to kiss you because I know you like gentlemen and- you were supposed to fall for me! I worked so hard to impress you and try to get your attention!"
“What…?” She couldn't register what he was saying immediately, but when she did she couldn’t help but feel betrayed. "Are you saying… That everything until now was an act…? You were just pretending? I trusted you!"
The betrayal was too much to bear. And yet- he was the one getting akumatized? Again. For his selfishness and for not listening to her, as usual.
She was enraged. Hell! She should have been the akuma, not him!
But now - She needed help. All the help she could get.
The fox, the turtle, the ox, the mouse, the dog, the dragon, the snake, the rabbit...
And after a few second chances, they finally defeated the akuma and a purified butterfly flew away. Magical ladybugs did the rest to fix the massive damage caused by Chat Blanc- Chat Noir-, Paris’ former superhero after the events. 
"No… M'lady…" he begged, but he could only watch as she walked away, leaving a trail of tears as she left Adrien Agreste sobbing on his own.
___
"I can't believe it!" Marinette cried, secure in her boyfriend's arms. "All this time-! I thought he was finally maturing, becoming more professional- I really trusted him!"
Luka hummed and rubbed her back. He did wonders calming her down. How many times could have she been akumatized if it wasn't for him?
"And he was Adrien all this time… I can't believe I was so blind! I thought he was sweet, innocent and caring… I even called him perfect a few times, damn it!" She yelled in Luka's chest. "But no! He is none of those things! He's just selfish, disrespectful and irresponsible! I thought we were partners! I thought he would be happy for me when I told him about you!" She groaned. "Hell- he even congratulated us when I had the mask off! You figured out my identity on your own, without magic, just because you care about me…" she took a moment to look at Luka, her hand cupping his face softly and he hummed happily at the contact. She let her hands descend to his chest level, gripping his jacket, and sighed. "Chat, on the other hand, couldn't tell us apart despite his claims of being 'in love'. Ugh, what a joke…"
"You couldn't have known. You did the best you could, melody" Luka kept caressing her back in support. 
"And he still got akumatized!" Marinette roared. "He completely betrayed my trust, Paris’ trust, our partnership! And still got offended because I have a boyfriend that makes me happy! Heck- I really should have been the one akumatized, not him!"
"Don't say that… I don't want you to get akumatized... Ever" 
"I know…" She softened a bit at that. "But I'm so mad, Luka! I want to scream, to curse, to set a freaking dumpster on fire!" He groaned. "Maybe with a bit of luck his photos that used to be in my room are still there and I can kill two birds with one stone!"  
That made Luka giggle. "Didn't you throw them out a long time ago?"
"I did! And I made sure not a single one of them remained! But now I wish there were still some so I could burn them to ashes!" She growled.
"You're funny even when you're rightfully angry," Luka laughed.
"I am rightfully angry! Very rightfully!" She pouted proudly and he chuckled. Cute. A moment later she blushed happily when he kissed her cheek.
"What are you going to do now? With the ring, I mean" he asked.
"I need to talk to Plagg first. Figure things out. And then, I think I'm going to keep the ring inside the box"
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I hope I can count on you if it ever becomes indispensable." She leaned in to give her boyfriend a kiss on his cheek.
"You can always count on me, Marinette. You know that" he smiled tenderly. "Especially if you ask me like this" 
He leaned in to kiss her cheek and she giggled. Music to his ears. 
"Thank you, Luka. I love you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I'm so lucky" She kissed his lips, making herself comfortable in his lap. 
Fin
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borderepisteme · 10 months
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“But failure was big and alluring like nothing else then, failure was boundless and unexplored and vacant-seeming like oceans and space and pages on which we all tried not to write. There was something so evocative in all the emptiness of knowing you would be as erudite as Fugazi but never even that impure, the secret genius of yourself so utter and utterly drowned in the soft weedy hours off in dirty apartments in the middle of nowhere in which everyone agreed that we would rather die than try, and some of us did. Every diet coke can was stuffed with the butts of cigarettes. Failure was also the sounds of the amps turned too loud at the house parties, all that pleasant muffled ear-ringing afterward of knowing you'd fucked yourself up for life. Our lives were supposed to be made of permanent squander: that was the only redeemable way to be a no-thank-you child of post-Reagan empire. If we had to be a cliche, let it be dissolute. And sometimes I've asked myself in poems "Must we rock til we die?" and the answer has always been an unfailed failing yes. Once you have gone all in on all that beautiful loser there is never not rocking, even if you promise yourself that every song of your youth was a lie.
And most writers who have any success are actually just winners no matter how they self-present, winners with winning habits in winning places born from winning people educated as winners looking like winners with their winning new yorker profiles about winningly winning, too, even as they win at presenting as losing, but not me, I have lived the shit bottom of the barrel life for more years than I have ever lived any other kind, most of it my own fault, crying in parking lots outside the call centers crying in break rooms crying in cubicles and restaurant kitchens crying without jobs and also crying with them, crying for love and also against it and also because of it and without it, tears always falling down my bloated unhappy face as I insisted that I was prouder than my circumstances but never figured out how.”
Anne Boyer
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damonjuicyscock · 6 months
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Playlist-Chapter 9: Please don't go (90s Noel Gallagher X Reader)
Pairing: 90s Noel Gallagher X Reader
Warnings: language, angst, fluff, and... SMUT (yes it's back, P in V, Unprotected sex don't forget to protect yourself kids), a few spelling mistakes maybe.
Words: 3626 !
Summary: After the Whisky A Gogo events, Noel and you are barely talking to each other. But love seems to be stronger than this.
A/N: Heya Y'all ! Here's chapter 9 ! The return of SMUT ! I teased it a bit last week. I'm happy to finally feed you haha. Hope you'll like it as ever, and rendez-vous next week for the next chapter.
Love y'all
Enjoy !
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(That's how he's supposed to look like in December 1994 apparently, at least that's what I saw...)
“Babe, I love you so I want you to know That I'm gonna miss your love The minute you walk out that door
So please don't go Don't go Don't go away Please don't go Don't go I'm begging you to stay
If you leave, at least in my lifetime I've had one dream come true I was blessed to be loved By someone as wonderful as you
So please don't go Don't go Don't go away Please don't go Don't go I'm begging you to stay».
December 1994:
It felt weird and unpleasant. Being on tour with Oasis and barely speaking to Noel seemed unseemly and unacceptable. I felt like a freeloader. I was travelling with them for free in exchange for my help, and yet, the only thing I wanted was to go home. No matter how much the other guys reassured me, I still felt out of place.
It had been two long months since things weren’t the same. Noel was letting me sleep in the hotel rooms and was going to sleep with one of the guys. The beds felt empty without him by my side. But my heart was full. Full of sadness. I was crying every damn night. It was tearing me apart. Breaking me. And I knew that once Oasis would have their Manchester gig, everything would be over. I would go to live at my parents house for a few, find myself a job again, never see Noel ever again, and try to forget him. Oh, but I would have to see him again, because my belongings were at his apartment, and soon, he would move to London. That was the detail that caused my heart to even break more.
The thing I didn’t know was that he already moved to London when we were on tour. He’d hired removal men who’d taken all his stuff to his new apartment. His things, as well as mine. I was now a Londoner and Liam was the one who told me, because Noel wasn’t saying anything to me anymore.
You wouldn’t believe it, but the situation hurt me more than what I lived with Kenneth.
And knowing I had nowhere else to go to when in London, I was forced to stay at Noel’s apartment.
December 13th-14th 1994- London
This night, Oasis were playing Hammersmith.
After the gig, Liam wanted us to have an afterparty in a pub but Noel proposed the guys to have the afterparty at his place for a sort of house-warming party.
So we went to buy drinks and some stuff to eat too and arrived at the apartment. It wasn’t little but wasn’t huge either, and again there was only one bedroom and one bed. But there were two keys, mine and Noel’s. Maybe the move had happened before we argued, and that now, he didn’t want me there anymore.
And anyway, I had to leave.
After quite a party at Noel’s place, the guys stood the night, sleeping on the ground with covers.
At about 5am, when the sun was starting to rise, I woke up, trying to be as discrete as possible. I started collecting my belongings and my box, and silently took them at the main door. Then I heard a familiar voice, and felt a familiar silhouette stand behind me.
What are ye doing? He asked
I turned around and looked at him.
Oh, so you’re talking to me now?
I could say the say thing. Now please, answer me question. He answered, dryly
Well I think you’re not blind, I’m collecting my stuff. I’m leaving. I’m going back in Town.
Silence settled in for a few seconds, and I heard him sigh and his breath was shaking.
I don’t want ye to go. He said, his voice trembling
I looked at him and saw he was on the verge of tears.
I have to. It will be better for us. I can’t live like this Noel. I said my voice trembling as well
Tears invaded my eyes.
Live like what? He asked
I can’t stay with a man who doesn’t love me anymore, when I do. I should have known earlier. I can’t live with a broken heart. It would kill me. If I can’t have you, it’s better if I leave, because it would kill me to see you with someone else too.
Wait Y/N, I…
My dad bought me a train ticket, I’m leaving in an hour so I should better get going.
Will ye listen to me ?
No. I know you’re going to apologize for something you’re not responsible for. And it would break my heart even more. I can’t force you to love me Noel.
I took my box, my bag and my suitcase, ready to go.
Come on, please Y/N…
Farewell Noel.
And I left, under the rain. I sobbed hard. Love could hurt badly. Love only punches the heart.
By the afternoon, I was at my parents place, asking for affection and reassurance like a damn child, which they did give me, without asking any questions. And at the moment I was about to cry again, I heard meowing.
Ringo ?!
*
December 18th 1994- Manchester
The only thing I was doing during my days was looking for a job. But each evening and night, I was in my old bedroom, listening to the radio and reading to empty my mind.
Empty my mind because Noel was in my head. And because Oasis were playing Manchester this evening and I didn’t go.
At about midnight, the radio started playing an old K.C and the sunshine band song: Please don’t go. And each time the singer was repeating the chorus, it reminded me of Noel’s words. “I don’t want ye to go”.
So I started crying again. Shit. Everything reminded me of him. And I cried myself to sleep.
At 1:30 am, I heard someone throw rocks at my window. I immediately knew it was him. Because he was the only one doing this. I walked to it and opened it, receiving a rock in the eye, again.
Ouch! Seriously, you still can’t aim!
Fuck, I’m so soz Y/N.
What the fuck do you want?
Can I climb?
Why?
Please it’s fucking freezing out there! And I need to talk to ye.
I hesitated.
Okay, come on, but don’t break your neck!
Noel climbed at my window, entering my bedroom. Just like he did when we were younger.
Hi! He said with a smile
What do you want? I asked softly
Well ye left like this and ye didn’t even listen to what I had to say.
Noel…
Those aren’t fucking apologies Y/N. Please, let me talk.
I sighed, already sad about what I was about to hear.
Okay…
I sat on my bed
I want us to talk about what ye said in September.
I knew it… Listen, I said anything I had to say Noel.
I know but… I didn’t see anything. And I feel like shite for not doing so.
Feels like you’re going to apologize…
Would ye like to?
No. I was really explicit about it though.
I know. I didn’t know how to fucking react. I kinda… panicked.
I chuckled.
And why so?
Because I never stopped loving ye either. But I was fucking scared ye would break me heart again. And I can’t let ye do that. Ye don’t know how it fucking broke me. I wouldn’t survive if it happened another time.
Now I was the one feeling like shit.
Oh Noely, I’m so…
Don’t. It wasn’t yer fault, it was mine. I’m not trying to excuse meself fer what I did, but I think music was and is such a part of me life, that I had to run away from me responsibilities like the coward I  fucking am and focus on what would never leave me. And I figured and didn’t know at the same time that it meant losing ye. I kinda made an unconscious choice in a way. Ye were right. I stopped calling when I should have. Yer… Yer the best thing that ever happened to me Y/N.
And suddenly, he broke down. He was sobbing hard. I never saw Noel cry like this before. Often on the edge of tears, but not like this.
I was used to “hard” and “strong” Noel, who was never showing his emotions apart in studio when singing and playing his songs. Where he was letting his emotions loose. Because deep down, the real Noel was kinda and almost like the little boy I met, something innocent and pure. But when he would be done playing, he would call you a twat.
 I loved both sides. But I loved the real Noel even more.
He sat on my bed next to me, hiding his face, so I wouldn’t see him cry.
I sat beside him, taking him in my arms.
The best thing that has ever happened to you, huh?
Yea… He answered sniffing
After Oasis?
He chuckled
Mmmh, let me guess… yes?
You bastard! I laughed
He chuckled again
Of course not. Ye’ve always been before Oasis. Before owt else.
So stop crying your heart out handsome.
He lift his head up and looked at me.
Is there any chance?
I don’t know, actions have always spoken louder than words.
I knew he understood the assignement. Because his face slowly approached mine, our eyes closed, and his lips finally touched mine, kissing them tenderly.
He let out a low moan at the feeling, as if it was the best thing in the world. His tongue asked for entrance, and I let him, the kiss becoming heated, before stopping to say:
And I’m definitely stealing the “stop crying your heart out” from ye. What a fucking title fer a song.
Y/N, your muse, at your service. I answered
Fuck yes ye are!
And he started kissing me again, this time passionately, taking our breaths away. A pool started to from in my undies. I wanted him, I needed him. I started unbuttoning his shirt at the same time.
Are ye sure? he asked me
I’ve never been so sure of my life. I answered
So he let me finish what I started, while by his side, he started peppering my neck with kisses, causing me to shiver. I missed this feeling.
I took off his shirt, letting my hands wander on his torso and his back and caressed them.
Fuck, I missed yer touch… He said
I didn’t answer and kissed him instead. I felt his hands untie my dressing gown, uncovering my breasts. He then took it off me, leaving me naked from the top.
Ye’re even more beautiful than I remember…
Oh stop it.
He chuckled
I quickly unbuckled his belt and unbutonned his jeans. He stood up and took them off. He laid me down before hovering me and kissing me again. We were eager and we couldn’t stop. I felt his hand tug at my undies. I looked at him, smiling.
What are you waiting for ? I asked
He smirked and slid them off before sliding his boxers too.
I wrapped my legs around him to feel him against my skin again. He whimpered when I did so and caressed my cheeks. He started dry humping me, his look plunged into mine. And I could see it: the flame, the same one I saw on the last day of 1983, when he said he was in love with me for the first time. Some things don’t change. Here it was a mix of love and lust.
I caressed his body, his back, his buttocks, already being almost out of breath because the feeling of our reunion was a bit overwhelming. And I could feel it did the same thing to Noel.
Eventually, I was so wet I felt him enter me without warning from dry humping me, causing me to gasp. It hurt and felt good at the same time. It had been a long time I didn’t do anything.
Fuck, ye’re so tight… Are ye okay?
Yeah, you can move already. God, I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long…
Me too.
He started thrusting in me, slowly at first, so we could both get used to the feeling, and increased the rhythm of his hips rolling against mine little by little.
I had to be as quiet as possible, and it was hard to do so. The amount of emotion I felt at this right moment made it impossible.
I was whimpering hard, looking at my lover and kissing him. His hand was trying to find mine and when he finally did, he held it tight and squeezed it.
My eyes shut in pure extasy as I felt him filling me up to the brim. Our bodies were started to be covered in sweat, and our whimpers were getting louder.
With his other hand, Noel grabbed my thigh, caressing and holding it, giving him a new angle that helped him thrust even deeper in me, hitting the right spot, making me moan.
He put his lips on mine to silence me.
And with each thrust, he was hitting this magical spot repeatedly, bringing me closer to my climax.
Fuck… I love ye so much Y/N…
With these words, my body let go. My back arched on the bed, my eyes rolled at the back of my head, and my body started trembling. Noel helped me ride out my orgasm and stopped moving, looking at me.
I’ve got ye love, I’ve got ye.
When I finally was back to earth, I felt Noel’s hand caressing my breasts, sliding to my hips.
Why did you stop? I asked
I wanted to see ye cum. I missed hearing yer sweet sounds and seeing ye cum. And I want to last a little bit longer too.
Well, I hope you’re not disappointed.
He chuckled.
How could I be? we both had what we wanted.
Oh and Noely…
What?
I love you so fucking much.
Yea, I know.
I took advantage of the situation to hover him at my turn.
My turn now. Just sit tight.
Yer orders madam.
I put a hand on his shoulder to stabilize myself, taking his member in my other hand, sliding up and down before sinking down on him completely, causing him to moan lowly, as he bit his lower lip.
I grabbed his hands and put them on my hips before putting my hands back on his shoulders as I started bouncing up and down on his hard member.
I was sore from my previous orgasm and knew my next wasn’t far. I adapted a regular pace, kissing him at the same time to silence our moans that were getting louder.
Noel’s arms wrapped around my waist, and he started thrusting in me to help me reach our extasy.
Oh Noel… I moaned lowly
His lips came in my neck, kissing it and leaving a hickey.
He found my sweet spot again and my eyes closed in pleasure.
My insides started convulsing around him, which affected his movements that quickly became sloppy.
Fuck, love, I’m going to cum… He grunted
Just say it one more time. I whimpered
Say wh-what?
Tell me you love me….
Fuck… I love ye to fucking death Y/N…
And just like this, I wrapped a hand around his bicep, while the other pulled at his hair as I let myself go again.
I was only shivers.
My head fell in the crook of Noel’s neck, crying out in pleasure against his lips. Then Noel let out long and desperate moans against mine as he filled me with his hot release.
We held each other tightly, our sweaty bodies connected, kissing and catching our breaths. I rode out my high crying. It had felt so good.
When he softened, he pulled out and we collapsed on the bed, next to each other. He kissed my forehead before caressing my arm and my face. I put my head on his torso, listening to his heartbeat.
Are ye okay? He asked
I’m more than okay, I just cried because it was a lot. I…
Ye needed this, I know. I did too.
I was going to say I missed you, but yeah, I needed you too. With everything that happened…
Hey, I’ve got me scars too love. Ye’ve healed mine and I hope I healed yers.
Oh you did. You saved my life Noely. You did even more.
And this time, I won’t let ye go. That’s a promise. I can have both. I can have ye, and I can have music too. And though, if I had to fucking choose, I’d choose ye without hesitating.
I kissed him before getting up and grabbing an old clean tee to clean our mess.
After this, we quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms.
*
The next morning, I was woken by a pounding on my door. FUCK, THE DOOR! We didn’t lock it!
Wakey wakey in there! my dad said
Fuck! Noel, wake up! I whispered
My young over grumbled
Five more minutes mam… he said
Noel, for fuck’s sake, it’s me not your mam and we’re at my parents!
Holy shit! He said opening his eyes as he jumped out the bed, dressing hastily
Y/N, I’m going in! my mother said
Wait no mam, I’m not presentable!
Oh, it’s all right darling, I gave birth to you, I saw you being born, I’ve already seen you naked, I know how you look like!
Quick, under the bed! I said to Noel, who immediately hid
I barely had the time to cover myself as my mum entered.
Mam! For fuck’s sake I’m 27 years old, my intimacy!
Morning to you too sweetie, I see your language is as flowery as ever!
Soz, you just took me by surprise mam.
Nevermind, what do you want for breakfast?
Huh, toasts. Toasts with some of your strawberry jam please.
Okay. Will you take the same thing Noel? She asked
Oh for fuck’s sake… I mumbled, hiding my face in embarrassment
Huh yea, thank ye Y/M/N, and a cuppa please
Alright. Be downstairs in 10 minutes! She said before closing my bedroom door
Noel showed his head for under the bed, looking at me.
Hello there. He said
I looked at him and we burst out laughing.
Please, swear you’re staying for breakfast.
I’m not going to leave ye in the lurch on yer own, ye know I’m not like that!
Thank God.
I’m only Noel but thank ye love. He chuckled
So modest.
Oh, by the way, ye forgot this when ye left the last time. He said, handing me a key
What’s this?
The key to our place. Will ye come back to me after Christmas?
I kissed him and took the key.
I’m already back, me. I answered
I dressed up and we got downstairs. My mum was in the living room, sat on the couch, waiting for us.
Ah here you are you lovebirds. Sit and have breakfast.
How did you know Noel was here mam?
Not hard to guess when there are boxers half-hidden in your bedside table. Listen, it’s normal at your age to go at it…
Oh here we go… I said
But just not under my roof anymore. When you were 16-17 years old, I couldn’t say anything.  Preferred you to do it in a safe place rather than risking getting arrested. But now you’re both 27, you’re grown-up adults, you have plenty of places to go to do it. I gave birth to my daughter, but I never signed to hear her…
MAM! I exclaimed, interrupting her
Well, long story short, don’t have sex here anymore, are we clear? She said
Yes, understood mam.
Okay, we’re good then. Oh and now you’re reconciled, Y/N, after Christmas, you could…
Piss off? I asked
I wouldn’t say it like this, but that’s the idea. Your father and I we love you, you’ll always be welcomed here, but I know that if you stay, Noel will too, and what I just said would have fallen on deaf ears. At least you’ll be able to… do your thing by your side.
Well it’s nice seeing you again mam, it’s not like I’ve been away for a few months. I said, rolling my eyes
And I’m happy to see you my little angel, but it’s still the same point. Don’t have sex under my roof anymore. I didn’t raise you to assist to your lovemaking.
Jesus fucking Christ mother…
I never felt so embarrassed in my whole life. My mother had the talent to do this. At the time, I was even thinking about spending Christmas with the Gallaghers to run away from this. But happily, my mother never broached the topic again, as if nothing happened. A slightly avant-garde mother for her time but embarrassing as hell.
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Ok Here's my Big Long Rant About Chloe Gong's Books
So I discovered These Violent Delights towards the end of 2021, just before Our Violent Ends came out. My ex-girlfriend recommended it (funny enough she also got me into Taylor Swift. She was super toxic and later cheated on me but she had pretty good taste all around) and I had heard of it before so I decided to give it a shot. I settled into bed that night, planning to read a chapter or two, and three hours later, I had finished the book and probably almost screeched at the cliffhanger, and then began the agonizing wait (it probably wasn't more than a month, but still) for OVE.
The entire time, I could not stop thinking about how much I loved these characters. The relationships seemed authentic and fleshed-out and every character was so unique, and it was just so well-written. I especially remember being completely obsessed with Juliette (hence the username) and loving Benedikt and Marshall, although I was so so worried it was going to be queerbait.
When OVE came out, I got it out of the library and once again read it one night. This time, I was in tears by the end. To this day, only 2 books have made me cry (the other being They Both Die at the End) and OVE is the only one that has made me cry every time. They became my new obsession almost instantaneously, and when Foul Lady Fortune was announced, I was completely ecstatic.
When FLF was released, I went to the book tour and actually got to meet Chloe Gong. I was fangirling out of my entire mind and was probably super embarassing, but she was super funny and down-to-earth. I cried (again) in the parking lot as soon as I stepped outside. A few months later, she announced Last Violent Call, and when I found out that Roma and Juliette were alive, I actually fell on the floor. I went to the Immortal Longings book tour, although I sadly couldn't go to the FHH one, and I'm currently scheming up ways to get tickets for Vilest Things (Miss Chloe, please come to Philly again, I don't know if I can drag my mom to New York twice).
There are so many reasons why this series is so unebelievably important to me. First of all, the queer representation is honestly unlike anything I've ever seen. The queer characters are fully fleshed out and have personalities and arcs outside of their queer identities, but their queerness is also not a footnote or shoved in for "diversity points." When Benmars became canon and got their "Because I love you!" moment I was in complete shock--I honestly hadn't allowed myself to hope for it to happen. As the queer representation carried over into FLF, I just grew more and more overjoyed with this series. These books also came to me right when I needed them. LVC particularly came out during a very difficult and stressful time in my life, where my mental health was very bad. I remember thinking to myself all week, "Just hold on until LVC comes out," and it really helped me push through that period of time.
Chloe Gong was also pretty much a realization of my dreams. I knew I wanted to be an author for a while, but I really had no idea how to get there. I always thought, "Go to college for something you don't entirely hate, get a real job for about 10 years, then you can start publishing books." Seeing someone only a few years older than me with the same dreams as mine succeed in bringing them to life has been almost a lifeline over the years. I'm no longer as scared of what my future holds, or whether or not I'll be happy with my life. I honestly read her blog posts about her publishing journey probably once a month, just to keep myself motivated, because if she can do it, so will I.
So thank you so much @chloegong for this amazing world you have created. These books really mean the world to me and have brought so many amazing people into my life, and I can't imagine who I would be without them. This is way too long and way too personal, but I just reread FHH and was deep in the SS feels, so I had to get it all out there.
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kenny-the-ken · 1 year
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Y O U + M E Pt 4
ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS!! I really am so sorry for my absence lately, my life's been fucking hectic!! I hope you guys enjoy this, it took me forever, my brain just wouldn't cooperate
Things had been going oh so well sweetheart, oh so well. Your mother was no longer an issue, and let's just say that heaven's gained another angel. I mean, of course you were devastated but, I was there. I was your shoulder to cry on, your comfort and support, you lover, all in one. What more could a girl want?
But obviously my work wasn't enough, or it would never have came to this. My love, I did everything for you! Everything I did was all for you! I killed Clyde, for you! I killed your mother, for you! And now it seems that you have grown to resent me.
You found the box, the one with Clyde's teeth, your panties, your mother's ring and a few other things belonging to you in it. It was bound to happen at some point, I guess my hiding skills aren't as reliable as I once thought. But that doesn't matter now darling, because I know we will get through this. Because love is the most powerful force in the universe.
Getting you here wasn't easy, I mean, after you tried to escape from my apartment to go to the police, I knew that it would take you some time to come round to my way of thinking. I had to keep you safe, and somewhere I knew you'd always be safe.
I rented a room at a storage facility a while ago, just a place where I could keep extra things that didn't fit in my apartment, and where I keep my soundproof cage, of course. Bulletproof, scream proof, unbreakable, and even if you ever found a way out from there, you can't get out of the storage unit without my key, I have you right where I need you to be.
I'm watching you sleep, that cut on your head looks quite painful, I truly am sorry for having to hurt you dear, but you really did leave me no other option. You don't know you're here yet, you've been out for a while now. I did inject you with a small amount of sedatives so, they're obviously doing their job, which gave me the time that I needed to plan ahead.
I don't want to kill you. I want to love you darling, but I can't do that till I know you still want me too. You could try to pull the wool over my eyes, spin me a story so I let you out and then turn me in to the police, then where we be, love?
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My eyes flicked open, the thumping in my head already unbearable, a white light illuminating my surroundings, but not all of it. A box. Thick, reinforced glass caging me in within 4 walls. The door handle is on the outside, it's locked, and a hatch beside it, which must be where he'll feed me from. How could I not have seen this? How could I have missed the signs? I knew it was too good to be true.
"Ken?! KENNY!" Hands balled into fight fists as I uselessly bang and bang against the never breaking glass. "KENNY!" My voice was hoarse, choked with tears that streamed down my cheeks like a river that had broken its banks. How could I have let this happen?
My whole life I've loved fairy tales, wrapping myself in the comfort that one day my prince may come and save me from this miserable existence I call my life. But I wasn't a princess, I didn't hold the power to turn stupid little boys into princes that had came to save me.
Then you arrived. You came into my life and you were the first person to wrap me in a thick layer of cotton wool, to protect me from the things I didn't know about. You killed people for me, to protect me. You did everything for me, you gave my life meaning and in return I betrayed your wishes, I asked questions and I snooped through things that my eyes were never supposed to see. And I'm sorry.
"I'm here baby." A soft voice came from the darkness of the dimly lit room. The light in the box was so bright that it made everything outside of it appear dull, darker than it was. And from the darkness Kenny appeared, placing a gentle hand upon the glass cage that held me as its prisoner. As his prisoner.
"W-Why am I here, Ken?"
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Your eyes were flooded with terror, your knees weak, face drained of colour, why must you always think the worst of me, love? Aren't you supposed to love me? "I'm here, y/n. I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." Your sobs break my heart darling, oh how I long to wrap my arms around you, but not yet, I can't be sure your intentions are pure.
"Ken, please let me out of here!" Your tears stain your soft complexion, I want to kiss them away, make everything okay. "I can't baby, soon. I wish I knew what you were thinking." And it's true, I do. If we could see each others thoughts then maybe you could understand me better, know why I've done all that I have for you, it's all for you, for us.
"Kenny... p-please I-I can't stay in here! Y-you can't leave me here, Ken." I don't want to leave you here darling, oh how I wish you were in my bed, laying in my warm embrace. The sweet scent of your hair, your floral perfume, how I long to touch you.
But alas, I must be patient my love. As I place a cigarette between my chapped lips, I silently pray you have it in your heart to forgive me, to work through this together, and come back stronger and more in love than ever. I miss you so much and as I turn the lights off and leave you behind the closed door of my dingy little storage room, my heart aches to be taking you with me, hand in hand. But if you cannot forgive me and love me how I love you darling, then I guess I'll have to get used to missing you.
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milknhonies · 2 months
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Please someone lobotomise me. I don't want to have big human thoughts. I'm done. Just put me in a care home and let me go through dementia as I enjoy puzzles all day. I'd rather be at peace and forget things than have to continue feeling like I'm constantly drowning.
I hate myself and I hate that I struggle to fit into society.
I just want to be loved and I thought I'd be married with kids by now (yes I'm only 22 but I'm a Christian virgin who struggles with the physical feelings of being comfortable with sex other than the smut I write and read.)
I thought men were real- I thought men were romantic and worshipped women. I didn't realise how objectified and then shamed we are by men who behave like animals.
I don't want to work and I think that's a massive reason I'm having such a bad breakdown. I want to be a Pilates wife. I want to be at home baking and cooking and meal planning and loving a husband. I want to mend his work uniform and sit and rub his feet while he oats my head and tells me I'm his angel.
I don't want to work in disability care where my tolerance is so minimal to loud, overstimulated (overstimulating for me) aggressive clients. Or work with babies that scream and cry and hit along with angry parents that yell at you the moment something goes wrong. I wish job employment agencies would stop trying to pressure me into these roles. I KNOW THEYRE UNDERSTAFFED ALREADY SO IM NOT RIDING A SINKING BOAT- no THANKS
I just want my dad. I just want to go home. I just want to be 6 years old. I want to go to preschook again and do painting.
I don't want to work from 5pm-5am and walking Brisbane streets at night all alone going from one cleaning place to another just for one client to write passive aggressive comments in the Communication booklet and my boss to start telling other co-workers that I'm having meltdowns and I'm high maintenance.
I'm autistic and I just want to be treated like a toddler or a dog because that's kinder than what's happening now.
I just want a husband to look after me and protect me.
I want to just make cute little videos and not have to worry my pretty head about money.
I DONT WANT designer bags or clothes. I just want to have a house I'm allowed to decorate and make dresses or bake for church. And a husband who comes from work and pats my head and tells me I'm a good girl. At this rate I don't even care if he's fucking a receptionist on the side.
I get it how these are such white woman tears. But fuck I think every woman should have this dream off they WANT without any shame.
I know it's a "grow up this is reality, you're describing something that doesn't exist." WHY CANT IT EXIST. FUCK.
I don't blame feminism. Feminism is amazing and I love her.
I blame classism.
People can't survive on just single home incomes anymore and that's fucked up to me.
"but women had jobs too you're just describing the rich wom-"
Women with jobs were mostly young single women waiting to get married or women who never wanted to get married but needed a liveable income. YES some entire families worked to survive poverty back in the day, I wont disregard that, but FUCK
you would think being so advanced as we are considering we mass produce via machine etc, human life would be "easier" BUT IT ISNT.
And I'm TIRED. I really am. I've been depressed since the day I was born but because it's so normal to me I forget how depressed I am and then feel bad when I burn the fuck out.
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