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ottoblock · 6 months

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In the grand scheme of things, it could be worse. That’s what he’s telling himself. In his head, again and again, it could be worse.

He even gave himself a fake task! He’s set himself up for success!

It’s terrifying.

Etho isn’t sure why he chose Bdubs—well. That’s not quite true. But he’s regretting it. Bdubs, he has unfortunately learned, is quite committed to eye contact. Normally, this is fine. Sometimes it’s even a good thing.

Now, every time Bdubs looks at him, Etho has a split second of terror, a split second to stop what he is doing if it’s dangerous, before his limbs lock up and his muscles turn to cement and no matter how hard he wishes he could, he cannot move his body.

To be honest, he hasn’t tried that hard to. Look, he wants to win as much as the next person! It’s just—when the skeleton was shooting at him, he had a split second to put his shield up and then Bdubs was looking at him and he couldn’t even flinch.

All of this to say—Etho is avoiding people. It’s not—it’s not forever. He just. He needs a break. And he’s being helpful! Bdub’s bedroom could use some decorations! It didn’t have to be so drab! So he’s adding some moss bits, and just all around sprucing the place up. It’s fine. He’s fine.

He’s so fine that he doesn’t notice Grian has opened the door until he’s halfway to adjusting the blankets on Bdubs’ bed and his arms just. freeze.

For a second, he forgets. For a second, all he knows is that he was trying to be nice and helpful and suddenly he can’t move. For a second—

That’s not the point.

The door creaks as it shuts. Etho hears footsteps around the room, and then—

“Etho!”

Grian. It’s Grian—not a yellow name. Not a red name. He’s terrified of getting caught out by a red name. He’d be such an easy target, not even able to flinch, but no, it’s just Grian.

“Hey Grian!” Etho thinks that maybe the y in that word didn’t have to be so long. It’s fine. He’s fine.

“I was just checking in—I hadn’t heard from you in a while, no one’s seen you around recently. You alright man?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, I’m just—fixing up Bdubs’ bed. Y’know, so that when he comes back it’ll be… clean.”

Grian comes into his field of view, nodding, and for a moment Etho is so relieved that the Secret Keeper didn’t take away his ability to talk before reality sets in.

His arms are still frozen incriminatingly over Bdubs’ bed. He hasn’t moved them. Etho knows he and Grian are on the same side, but Grian is. Grian is Grian.

It’ll be fine.

“Okay, I’m just going to. Look, Etho, this desk shelving unit thing you’ve got is really cool looking, I’m just going to”—Grian doesn’t finish his sentence, but Etho’s arms unfreeze, and he’s so relieved he doesn’t even bother to wonder why Grian is looking at the unimpressive desk setup.

He shakes out his arms, sore and painful from where they’d been held up for so long, and then throws himself onto Bdubs’ bed. It’s comfortable, at least.

“Look, Grian. I appriciate that you’re here, and checking in on me and all that, but I’m fine so if you could just”—

“I’m not looking.”

What? “What?”

“I mean—I’m not. I’m not going to look. You can leave if you want. I won’t stop you.”

“But you’re not”—

“I’m not looking.”

Etho flounders for a second. “You know my task!”

“I do,” Grian tilts his head to the side. If he were looking, Etho knows, he’d have a sheepish expression, “I’m not going to—to sell you out or anything.”

Etho stares at him.

“You can. You can go, if you want.”

“When you say you won’t stop me…”

“I mean—yeah. I won’t. I won’t look at you.”

Etho considers this. Grian is still standing at the desk, staring at the wall. He sits up straighter.

“You can look.”

“What?”

“You can look,” Etho repeats, “Just for a second.”

Grian turns around, and there’s something open and vulnerable on his face Etho’s not quite sure how to read. He’s not sure he wants to, so he closes his eyes tight. The all consuming lack of movement doesn’t get to him as much when he can’t see what he should be running away from.

“I’m not going to—to force you to sit there all day.”

“No! No. I mean, you could. But you could also just, I don’t know, get comfortable. Somewhere you can’t see me. Lie down on the bed and look at the ceiling or something.”

Grian considers this. Etho can almost hear the idea tick in his mind.

“…Why?”

“Well,” Etho starts, and then realizes he doesn’t actually know why, “It would be nice to not have to worry, I guess. I won’t make you.”

“No,” Grian agrees, “It would be nice.”

He moves around the room until he’s lying at the door of the bed staring at the ceiling. Etho feels the discomfort of concrete in his veins.

Finally, the sounds of movement stop. Etho cracks his eyes open, watches as Grian closes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh.

“I’m not looking.”

#ethoslab #grian #secret life #trafficblr #trafficlife #secret life etho #look i am just. very normal abojt the idea of weeping angel etho #and also #okay #see #this happened RIGHT after i got super invested in dr who #i almost cried about it #IM NOT LOOKING????#YOU CANT JUST SAU THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE KORMAL #ottowrites

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amugoffandoms · 9 months

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Ahahaha i am making you talk about how the voting will affect kazui and yuno~~~

🔫😄

omg there's a gun im being threatened to talk about this oh no it's definitely not like I was planning on doing this anyway because I'm UNWELL ABOUT THEM AT 1 AM

ANYWAYS DRUMROLL FOLKS WATCHING IN THE AUDIENCE, IT'S TIME FOR MUG'S 1 AM MILGRAM THOUGHTS!!!

How Voting Will Affect the Liars

Similarities

From the get-go, we already know they're pretty similar. They have references to a cat in their t2 MVs (A flash of a cat silhouette in Tear Drop and Cat. [And also the Dove eating])

We also have Yuno confirming this in her interrogation questions.

Which prisoner is the most like you? Kazui is the only option.

The two of them are also related to theater.

Yuno mentions in one of her interrogation questions that she's a part of a theater club and half takes place at a theater.

Observant Pair

Yuno is able to point out lies while having a conversation. (See her catching Kazui lying about his type and Mikoto's smiling.) She's also pretty observant with all the relationships with the prisoners (Haruka & Muu, Shidou & Amane).

I'd say Kazui is also observant. I recall a timeline conversation he had with Fuuta about attacking a guard. He mentioned that the guard could have a gun or other weapons, which is why you would have to be careful when making decisions.

Now, here's where I get a little more assumptions and stuff and less concrete similarities, but I'm doing it because I love these characters a lot so it's okay!

They both have bad self-esteem/ issues.

Yuno's aren't especially prevalent in any of her voice dramas/songs, but just note that I'd feel like being told you're some little girl when you want to be thought as of yourself would be seriously bad for your mental health.

And, also, looking at current timeline conversations, she's been asking a lot if it was worth it to be born which haha girl you need therapy.

She does mention she wouldn't mind living her life over again, which sure, doesn't sound indicative of any problems, but considering how terrible it is to be dealing with people almost dying everyday and hearing people pretend you are lesser than who you are, pretending you are some little girl, I'd say it's pretty sound reasoning for some issues.

Kazui had a little, uh, how to call it, breakdown-ish over him lying his entire life.

E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that. K: … I get that. E: Huh? K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful. E: Heh. Then just– K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others! E: … K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born! E: …Hey, Kazui– K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…! E: Kazui… K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

[Source]

You can also take a look at a single interrogation question and see how terrible he's doing.

Do you like yourself? I can't really say I do.

So, wowee they seriously need some therapy (sorry I'm trying to be lighthearted I'm still think about kazui's votes BAHAHSHDH also these two being my favorite characters of milgram is not a good sign for myself)

They would rather they never committed the murder.

If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again? I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

Do you regret your "murder"? I do regret it. I should have kept lying.

(Voice Drama)

K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!

Love and Like

Now, this one is sort of hard to determine on Kazui's side, but they do seem to make some sort of clear distinction between love and Like.

Difference between like and love? Isn't liking a state, and loving a feeling?

Cat MV

Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that? . . .

Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?

Kazui mentions true love (so, let's say romantic in this sense!) and I'll use liked-liked as just crushing.

Kazui says he lied (to protect his wife) because of true love. He mentions he likes someone because he was wondering about it.

Now, Kazui as a liar is pretty obvious. He mentions he's a liar, continue lying until you find the king of the masquerade, and shown as a magician (known for tricking and lying). He basically says he's lied for others.

Lying

(please enjoy silly minigram)

Yuno has lied as well. Not in MILGRAM, of course. She has no reason to lie. I'd say moreso on the side of her work. She's lied to her clients about who she is because she wanted to satisfy her client. She dresses up (hey, is this a half reference why is there changing costumes in this /j) for each of her clients and lies to them just to satisfy them for the money.

Someone mentioned in a post I reblogged a while back that they both lied to satisfy others and that's what they did.

This same post was when I begin to realize how Kazui's voting will severely affect Yuno.

Voting

So, this is the part of the post you've all be waiting for.

The Voting.

Now, luckily for Yuno, she's innocent! Haha, woo!!

We'll talk more about that later.

Kazui's voting is interesting to say the least! (Please don't look at my last posts to see how crazy I went please vote him innocent anyways)

To me, Kazui's vote feels like would you forgive a liar who has come clean, who has begun to show their true self to you?

Kazui is beginning to reveal himself to us, to show the person underneath the lies, the costumes, and the masquerade masks.

He's trying to be honest again! For the first time since his wife's death, he's trying to show the truth and let Es reveal him for who he is: a liar, a liar who is trying to be their true self.

Now, let's reflect on Yuno for a moment.

Let's recall one of the main objections to Yuno's voting last round. She didn't like being voted innocent because of how much they tried to justify her actions and act like she's such a poor, innocent girl who only did it because she's never felt love. She couldn't believe she was voted innocent because of that! Because of lies she had made up for her clients. (Shove that, in Kazui's words lol)

She wants Es to judge not because she's pitiful but because they believe it is a correct judgment to decide. To use logic instead of half-baked opinions on herself.

She wants Es to see her true self, someone who isn't pitiful, someone who did it because she wanted to.

See the line of connection?

They both want Es to see them for who they are, not for their lies.

Now, reflecting on the current voting, let's look at Yuno.

Even after her telling us/Es not to pity her, apparently some people still acted like she was an innocent girl. And even then, we all sort of chalked her up as abortion girlboss (GUYS please she's so much more than that head in hands places hand on wall) AND, hey, I'm not saying I'm immune to this, my reaction to her was pretty much the same. I'd vote her innocent no matter the reason (I love her character or that her murder is forgivable to me, even with the pregnancy entrapment theory)

But, she's more than that. She's more than a single action she's done.

But, somehow we missed that while we voted and made our decision.

We decided she was just a single action she's done made from her lies. She was trying to make sure we'd see her as herself, not a single thing we did.

And we didn't! We voted her innocent because she's a pitiable girl who has done nothing wrong.

So, wowed, strike one for us, Failure to Vote for One's True Self.

We voted for a single part about her and disregarded everything else because it was easy.

We didn't let her show us for who she is.

Now, Kazui time!

I've already mentioned previously that Kazui wants to show his true self to us, so I won't regurgitate stuff you already know.

Now, I feel like it's sort of clear that people don't care too much about that. More on the fact that he could have stopped at any time. (He wanted to tell the truth on his terms. Divorce is also a pretty bad look on you in Japan so I've heard.) He wanted to protect his wife, okay, cool cool.

He still wants Es to reveal his true self. (And, judging from the guilty verdicts, I don't think that'll work, that'll just make them worse in the long run.)

Also, quick tangent: This sounds familiar. Why does this voting seem like we've done this before as if we wanted to reveal their true self as if we wanted to show them their sins.. anywho

And, by giving Kazui a guilty verdict, we're only further proving that we don't give a damn about wanting to know about his true self, only that he lied to his wife, disregarding any of his own feelings related to the matter. We don't care about him wanting to be hinest.

We're proving we don't care about his true self, only his actions.

So, now it's strike two! Failure to Allow Someone to their True Self.

So, yeah, isn't that fun? We failed to vote for someone's true self and failed to let them even be that.

So, why do I think Kazui's voting will affect Yuno?

Well, they're pretty similar, we know that.

They both are liars who have lied to satisfy others in a sense.

Kazui's voting is to see if we can allow someone to be their true self and be honest about themselves. He was beginning to do that when he took off his ring.

Kazui getting voted guilty means that we don't really care about their true self and their feelings, only their actions matter. None of their circumstances matter. (Hey, reduction of punishment by extenuating circumstances? What in the world, how did you get in here I thought that was only a Yuno thing)

Yuno is trying to show that she wants to be seen as her true self and we're forcing this man to continue lying.

So, guess what? Yuno probably won't show her true self if we're failing to even let someone be honest and vote based on their true self.

Yuno wants to be seen for who she is. And, it seems like we have an odd aversion to that.

So, Yuno will never find the warmth that will allow her to be true, to be herself. Hey, maybe she could die trying to be herself, who knows?

All we know is that we're deciding if someone's true self is worth seeing.

Judging by the current votes and what our judgments are based upon, Yuno will never be able to be herself. We have decided that it's not worth seeing anyway.

#I apologize if this is so confusing it's literally 2 am ad i finished typing this up #i am unwell abojt these two #places hand on wl #thanm you for asking me to talk about this though i am unwrel.abojt them #mug theorizes #milgram #mukuhara kazui #kazui mukuhara #kashiki yuno #yuno kashiki

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