#again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[kyliafanfiction]

What's the gripe with the Templin people? I tried watching their videos once but they seemed very boring so I don't really know anything about their content

(Full disclosure, it's been years since I watched any of their videos, so while I remember generally what they've said that pissed me off, I don't remember the specifics and I don't care to. Unlike say, Craptain America Steve "I am Drone Strikes In Human Form" Rogers, the Templin Institute does not live rent free in my head all the time, they just sublet some space every few months for a day or two) Well, My gripe is that their opinions on worldbuilding in sci-fi are very, very wrong. There's a lot of little things I didn't like or didn't agree with, like opposing the idea of a single government governing an entire world even if that world is part of (or even the capital of) a multistellar state, or saying that monarchies couldn't possibly ever function in the future because western democracies are so much more effective and efficient (*points to the United States* Not to say Monarchies are *good*, but monarchies are as capable of being effective at governing as democracies, because a monarchy is just a dictatorship where you call the dictator King, and we have a lot of functioning, for varying values of the word, dictatorships right now on earth), to saying that an Empire shouldn't call itself an Empire because it's too 'on the nose' or something to that effect, etc

But the thing that was the 'fuck this shit I'm out' for ever watching their videos again and soured me anytime anyone else links their videos and calls them "great worldbuilding advice" (seeing someone do that on a forum thread is what prompted my bitchpost) was one about sci-fi ships, and basically asserting all sorts of nonsense about what kinds of ships did and did not work/make sense (Dreadnoughts apparently are Bad™ and no serious writer should have them), ignoring that

1.) In most sci-fi settings that serve as settings for stories, games, TTRPGs, etc the classes/kinds of ships are there for narrative reasons first (in general, Templin's narrative-neutral approach to worldbuilding, while in theory sound, creates a lot of problems very quickly)

2.) The author is responsible for the space physics/etc of the universe. It's not hard to construct a universe where Dreadnoughts are the only viable form of warship for some reason. Or one where carriers rule the day, or one where carriers are actually a terrible, terrible idea, etc, etc, etc. Templin has this tendency, in their worldbuilding advice videos, to ignore that writers are gods of their own universes. Or so is my impression. They also speak authoritatively without basis, but that's kind of a me hangup, because ultimately it should be obvious it's all their opinion (I just think their opinions are bad) So I don't like them, get annoyed when I see people rec their worldbuilding stuff and can't believe I'm the only person who thinks their worldbuilding 'advice' is barely above useless half the time.

As for why right-wing neckbeard basement dwelling pissbaby shitheel fuckface morons hate them, it's that Templin Institute has "Gone Woke". The primary source of complaint for them seems to be that the Templin Institute asserted, accurately (if pointlessly, IMO) that Female Space Marines are entirely possible, if Games Workshop (the people who own Warhammer 40k) really wanted them, they could just change the lore. Under the cut for more details and context on that hot mess.

For those of you not familiar with this bit of interminable nonsense, in the Wargame (and associated setting that contains books, video games, TTRPGs and I believe at least one board game) Warhammer 40k, there exists a class of unit called a "Space Marine" which are genetically enhanced supersoldiers that are the flagship characters of the 40k universe. They get the most models made for them, the most narrative focus, etc.

Space Marines are, generally, made by taking candidates who pass a pretty grueling battery of tests, and grafting all sorts of extra organs into them that, if they survive, turns them into transhuman superpeople that are like ten feet tall, super strong/fast/etc and then gives them a pretty long lifespan. Space Marines are very, very. very, very skilled warriors and often deploy in 100-man companies that are often capable of turning the tide of planetary wars all on their own.

In-universe, the reason that Space Marines are all dudes isn't that the Imperium doesn't think women can't fight (the Imperium, as a whole, just cares if you hate the alien, the mutant and the heretic and can hold a lasgun when they conscript you into the Imperial Guard, and yes I'm oversimplifying) but that the process to create the Space Marines was made by the God-Emperor thousands of years ago using his own genes (or something like that) so they didn't work on women at the time - and the big E is on life support and has been for most of those thousands of years, and science and technology don't really advance much in-universe because it's a crapsack world setting (40k's fandom invented the word Grimdark, for reference), so even if someone was inclined to try and improve on the God Emperor's work, it would be hard to.

All of this is of course, arbitrary, because Games Workshop writes the lore. They've retconned things before, and these days their official position on 'canon' is that all published materials are from nominally in-universe sources and thus potentially biased or inaccurate. And they have had a guy named Cawl create an improved 'Primaris Space Marine' after thousands of years of work (though to be fair, in some quarters, the Primaris Space Marines went over like a lead balloon), so Templin Institute's point was that Games Workshop could say 'actually female space marines are possible because no one realized it before' or 'someone invented a way to make them possible' which is true.

This comment pissed off a bunch of idiots, most of whom are the sort of crypto/quasi/open (it does vary) fascists (or their technically apolitical buddies that give them cover) that give the rest of 40k's player base a bad name. And so they whined that Templin Institute 'went woke'.

Personally, I agree with Templin on this, but I also think this is a stupid argument and people who really want female space marines should just stop engaging with 40k and find a better game/setting to be into, because the Warhammer 40k game and setting is a horrible, terrible, noxious steaming pile of incoherent trash that should have been left on the ash heap of gaming decades ago to be replaced by better stuff.

And I say this as someone who has bought several Warhammer 40k video games, would like to buy at least one more, played some 40k-set TTRPGs a few times, reads some of the 40k novels and spends more time than she'd like to admit (that is, any) reading the 40k Lexicanum (a fan wiki). I will fully concede that the 40k game/setting is a compelling pile of trash, but it still is a pile of trash.

#Long Post #Kylia Writes Metas #Anti-Warhammer 40k #Fuck The Templin Institute #Worldbuilding #Science Fiction #Grumping #Asked and Answered

[machianery]

assorted soto thoughts go here!

i took a good couple days to go through the story because work and also i wanted to pace myself and i think it really worked out because i spent a LOT of time theorizing about where the plot would take us. i was convinced that peitha would empower us to kill the king or whoever and then double cross us by taking over our body to become new king.

dagda is trans. im 100% on this. the demon in her head when you fight her deadnames her. she is deeply upset by being told to compromise her appearance and true self for the sake of appearing to the world. shes trans.

when we first met her though my theory was she would START to warm up to us but when we were revealed to be hiding a demon in our head she would snap and rightfully try to take us out for putting literally the entire astral ward in danger like that.

and i really liked having a character in the cast who very much did not immediately like us. im almost sad that she DID warm up to us. we need someone to challenge things a bit.

i looove the new title. honestly commander always felt a bit like it only fit because we'd kept it for so long. like it was endearing to still be called that when we only commanded people for a relatively short about of consecutive time. but we have been wayfinding for the whole world for much longer. it fits because it would have fit for years.

i got spoiled to peitha's name when i stood somewhere in the first map and she started talking about her opinions regarding i think the architecture? and her name was in the text box. and then later i got spoiled to her appearance when i went to enter an instance and she appeared in a transluscent form to exposit again. im assuming these are part of a lore collection we'll find later oops.

i definitely understand where people are coming from when they say the wizards are cult-like and they hope zojja doesnt ascend. but i dont think thats what anet is really going for. it seems more like a metaphor for gaining power. you want to help the powerless people so you gain power but now theres a disconnect between you and them. idk though we'll have to see.

did you know the dwarf whose head is being warshipped by skritt is in the dwarven area of map 1. you can talk to him and be like Dont I Know You From Somewhere.

im so fucking glad that the new daily system lets you buy glam charges. im constantly searching for more of those.

some of the new bosses (like one of the two bosses you fight with lyhr in the debate hall) have ffxiv-style stack markers. the reason people are dying is because they arent standing in them. STAND IN THE STACK MARKERS.

the rifts seem pretty flexable tbh. you can farm them in a big train or you can pepper them in when theres no events you wanna do on your current map.

just before the final fight against cerus he goes on about the building youre in and how it was for a god to autonomy and how the king killed him. the bad guy KILLED his subjects' AUTONOMY. like. how more on the nose can you get lol i love it.

#gw2 #soto spoilers

[artdecosupernova-writing]

Find the Word Game VII

tagged by: @oh-no-another-idea!! my words: chocolate, eavesdropping, gay, grief, super tagging: @drippingmoon, @sleepy-night-child, @zmwrites, @drabbleitout, and anyone who wants to your words: nothing, nowhere, nobody, sometime, somewhere, someone

chocolate (Rebirth)—

"Oh, great. Thanks, 'Phene."

"Sure, 'Ren." Emnophene stepped back once she was done and pulled Warren to the mirror so he could look at himself. "It's not quite like Guetry's, but…that would require more makeup than I think is on the Node at current."

He grinned at the chocolatey smoky eye that enhanced his natural blues and gave him depth and sexiness he didn't expect. "Nice."

"Get out there," Emnophene, swatting his rear as he exited the bathroom. "You've already spent half the night in here."

"It's been thirty minutes!"

eavesdropping (Rebirth)—

The room filled with the purple haze of Guetry's watch, tattoo, and temple just then. "To a lesser extent, I am also here for you, Warren."

"Oh my fucking god," Guetry muttered into the heel of his hand. "You were supposed to be asleep."

"It's fine," Warren said. "Thank you, Scotty."

"I am certain the others would be more than happy to lend an ear or support as well," Scotty said. "They all have said very nice things about you when you're not around and have voiced their concern on multiple occasions."

Warren quirked an eyebrow at Guetry. "Is he eavesdropping on people?"

"You know, he kinda just does whatever he wants at this point." Guetry sighed again. "But he's right. I've heard it too."

gay (Aurora)—

Thrive exhaled, gaze roving over the horizon. "You told me a lifetime ago that there was a woman you left Esther for, someone you became irresistibly attracted to before coming to terms with your identity as a gay man."

"Yeah. God...I haven't thought about her in a long time. Thinking about it now, I guess she was the reason I didn't realize it sooner." Warren looked at him after a pause, eyes thinning. "...Do you know what happened to her?"

Thrive, lost in the world outside, ran the pad of his index finger over his own bottom lip and nodded.

grief (Eternal)—

Thrive stopped in his tracks, causing Warren to nearly run into him. He stared into the distance, eyes narrowed against the ascending sun, drowning in his own thoughts as Warren caught the grief that appeared without warning.

"I'm so sorry," Warren said. "I didn't mean to—"

"That's why he was killed." Thrive eventually looked down to Warren, his usual stoicism bleeding back into his posture. "I'm sure of it. The Leaders found out that he was close to uncovering the truth and they had him killed."

"You can't really think that, can you? Sure, your government was corrupt, but actually having someone killed for knowing too much?"

"It wasn't my government," Thrive said, despair rife in his tone. "I am not obhelian and I never was."

super(iors) (Eternal)—

After some back-and-forth with their superiors, the sentry directed the crew to the warship that Congress was willing to loan out to them—a vessel called the Laiori R'si.

The first thing Warren noticed upon meeting up with the Laiori R'si in R'lis space was that it was enormous. Any eliyi transport vessel he had ever seen could fit inside that ship at least once and still have plenty of wiggle room. Even one of the dreadnoughts could likely have fit if the warship had been gutted first.

"Shit," he whispered, staring through the Ganymede's viewscreen. "That thing is—"

"Ravishing," Guetry finished, appearing beside him with his hands in the pockets of his long leather coat. He smiled down to Warren with a slick wink. "Rock 'n' roll annihilation, baby boy."

#tag game #find the word

[fific7]

Ticket to Ride - Part 4

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

𝔹𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕𝕓𝕪𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕞𝕖

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy woke up really early due to light streaming into his room. The sun was coming up. He couldn’t bring himself to close the curtains the previous night - after all, the view was the big thing in this hotel, wasn’t it? He rearranged his pillows so that he could still lie in bed but also tipped his head up enough so he could see the view.

It was too early to go along to her room yet, so he’d laze a little, shower and then he’d go. He hoped that her anger had cooled overnight, as the two of them really had to have a conversation. Not that he was looking forward to that conversation, but he realised that if he wanted to have even an outside chance of getting her back, he had to man up and tell her the truth. He had the distinct feeling that If he only told her part of it - a sanitised version of what had happened - she’d see right through him and that would be that.

He laughed out loud.... god he hadn’t even slept with the woman, but if he’d known the shitstorm that was going to be stirred up by all of this, maybe he should’ve just damn well done it!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Meanwhile, you sat at the departure gate waiting for the boarding call. You’d always wanted to visit your next destination so while you were sad to leave Barcelona, you felt excited to be on your way.

With a little smile, you thought that the only real regret you had was you wouldn’t be there to see the expression on Billy’s face when he realised you’d skipped town again.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

As soon as he’d had that thought a little voice inside his head had said, if you had then you’d never ever get her back and you know it. Yeah, he did know it. So it was just as well I didn’t, he acknowledged to himself. Some no-strings sex with Madani wasn’t worth wrecking what he’d had with her.

Now he just had to hope that he wasn’t already too late to salvage that.

Billy stepped out onto the 20th floor landing then began walking up the red corridor to her room. He spotted a cleaning cart in the corridor - wait, that wasn’t outside her room, was it? No, it couldn’t be. But he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach the nearer he got.

He came to a halt next to the cart, and looked at the room number on the door for confirmation but he knew it before he even saw it.

She’d run out on him again.

Billy cursed loudly then swung round on his heel and headed back to the lifts. He took his phone out as he walked, hitting a starred number. It rang for a while then a grouchy voice said, “Yeah, what?”

“Micro? Got another job for you.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After clearing Customs and Passport Control you walked briskly out of the terminal building, following a sign indicating where you needed to go. You were getting more and more impatient to get to the city by the minute, but you knew you had to make sure you picked the correct coloured route, as they went to different destinations.

Standing on the jetty at Marco Polo Airport, you waited patiently along with other passengers for the Alilaguna airport boat to moor alongside it and which would then take you to Venice.

La Serenissima. The city which floats on a lagoon.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank listened to what Micro had to say, then exploded. “Oh for fuck’s sake!!! This is gettin’ out of control. Yeah okay, do his search then let me know - not him - what you find out.”

He ended the call and threw his phone onto the bedside table. He’d have to speak to Bill, this was too much.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was in a temper. He threw his clothes and toiletries into his duffel bag and zipped it up viciously. Nothing from Micro yet and he had to check out of his room now. He’d just have to sit in the bar/lounge downstairs and have a drink or two until he did hear back.

An hour and two whiskies later (yes, he’d thought as the barman’s eyebrows raised up at his request, it is damn early for a whisky but you have no idea what I’m going through), Billy was getting more and more impatient. Then his phone buzzed, but hope sank like a stone when he saw it was Frank.

“I guess he called you, then?” Billy said as soon as he answered the call. “Yep,” said Frank, “...he did. And this is the last one, Bill, you hear me?” “It’s not my fault she keeps flyin’ off t’different places!” whined Billy. “It’s your damn fault she took off in the first place, dumbass!” growled Frank and Billy said nothing as he couldn’t argue with that.

“Where’s she gone, Frankie?” he asked after a short silence. “Venice.” “Ah shit!!! Back to the States? Didn’t see that coming.” “Not Venice Beach, Bill... Venice, Italy.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You settled yourself onto the wooden bench inside the vaporetto which would take you on the short hop across the wide Giudecca Canal from Palanca to Zattere. Vaporetti were the Venetian equivalent of public transport but a hugely more pleasurable experience. What would you rather hop on - a bus or a ferry? Yeah, definitely a ferry! You’d decided to stay on Giudecca instead of the main islands as it had a calmer, more relaxed vibe and tourists were much less in evidence.

Karen had texted you as you were getting unpacked in your small but cute room. Your hotel was surrounded by residential gardens and a narrow canal on one side; when you went out onto the large balcony, all you could hear was birdsong and the church bells of Venice. It was heavenly.

But Karen’s text had brought you down somewhat; Billy was on your track again. He’d been told by Frank that they weren’t going to help him out any longer, but you weren’t convinced that would put him off. Billy was the most stubborn sonuvabitch you’d ever met. Looking out the vaporetto windows, you saw a majestic tall ship making its way imperiously up the canal followed by a small tug like a lady in waiting, and wondered where it was sailing off to.

Sighing, you gathered up your bag as the vaporetto docked at Zattere and prepared to disembark. Maybe it was time to just sit down and have ‘that talk’ with him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy, meanwhile, was waiting impatiently for his flight to start boarding in Barcelona airport. He just had to pin her down this time. No more escaping him and the talk they had to have.

He marvelled at the fact that in Europe, you were never really that far from your next destination. Here he was in Spain and in less than two hours’ time, he’d be in Italy. He’d bought a travel guide to Venice in one of the airport stores and settled down to read it.

Frank had given him the name and location of her hotel, somewhere called Giudecca. He didn’t have the first fucking clue as to where that was, so he’d better find out and quickly. Okay…. here was a map. Venice seemed to be divided into six sestiere or areas… hmmm no mention of Giudecca. Oh right, here it was, a large island out on its own across the Giudecca Canal from Venice.

He pinpointed the hotel on the map and felt a lot more relaxed.

I know where you are now, kitten.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Escaping from the crowd of tourists in Piazza San Marco into the relative peace of Caffé Florian, you sat down and ordered a horribly expensive cappuccino and pastry from the impassive waiter. But it was worth it just to soak up the historical atmosphere. You looked round the opulently decorated and gilded interior and opened up your guide book; it had opened in 1720 and scores of famous faces had passed through its doors or listened to its musicians outside. Wow - Casanova, Lord Byron, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway, Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Andy Warhol. The list went on and on.

Coffee finished, you wandered out of Florian’s and back along the Piazetta next to the Doge’s Palace. There was an arched bridge - the Ponte della Paglia - on the waterfront from which you could see the world-famous Bridge of Sighs, and you joined the huddle of tourists at the top of the bridge to eventually make it to the front and take a picture of it. Your guide book told you the bridge was so called because after their trials, condemned prisoners would be taken from the Doge’s Palace over the small canal at its side to the prison, and their last sight of Venice would be from the bridge. Hence the ‘sighs’.

Next, you walked along to the Arsenale, the huge historical shipyard where Venice had built her vast number of ships which had enabled her to have a huge trading empire. It had been said that they’d been able to construct a fully equipped warship in one day. But that was long in the past, you thought as you looked at an array of stone lion statues outside its main entrance and a bust of Dante set onto the wall.

Turning away, you headed to the vaporetto stop of the same name and waited for the Line 1 vaporetto to arrive and take you on a sail up the Grand Canal.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Yet again, Billy was in a bad mood. After a couple of false starts, he’d eventually managed to make his way onto the correct Alilaguna boat at Marco Polo and had alighted at Zitelle on Giudecca.

But now here he was - walking backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards - along the waterfront, trying to find out where this damn fucking hotel was. He just couldn’t find it! Where the hell was it?

Billy spotted a guy around his own age walking towards him and stepped in front of him, asking politely in English if he could help him find this hotel. A stream of Italian burst forth and the guy must’ve realised that Billy didn’t understand one word, as he then took his arm and pulled him along the waterfront a little. He stopped and gestured towards one of the narrowest damn alleyways Billy had ever seen, quite near the vaporetto stop.

He thanked the guy effusively and set off up the alleyway. There were peoples’ houses on each side of it and he tried not to be too nosy as he walked past them. But echoing within the walls of the alley he could hear voices, children’s laughter, a football match on a TV, a dog barking… talk about living on top of each other. He wasn’t sure he could live like that but then it just depended on what you were used to, he supposed.

Arriving in a small open area leading to a canal and a bridge over it - Corte Ferrando, he saw on a sign - he found the Giudecca Hotel right on the corner next to the canal. At last!!!

Walking in to the small but light and airy reception area, he dumped his bag next to reception and asked the guy behind the desk if he could book a room. “Certainly, signore, how many nights would that be for?” Billy shrugged, saying, “I’ll make it for two nights for now, but maybe I’ll need to extend that, I’m not sure.” “That is no problem. Can I have your passport please, signore?”

Billy handed it over, thinking as he did, going by her recent history it might be only the one night!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You stepped off the vaporetto at Rialto. Well, you just had to walk over the famous bridge and be a total tourist didn’t you, stopping to take a picture looking back down the Grand Canal. You’d gazed at all the big palazzi lining the waterway as the vaporetto zig-zagged its way between all the stops on the canal. They were certainly impressive, but they also had a faded, melancholic air about them.

Some of them had been converted into museums, some rented out on long or short-term leases by their owners, or they were now owned by foreigners who only stayed in them for a handful of weeks each year. When the festivals were taking place… Carnevale, the Biennale, the Film Festival. The rest of the year they lay empty and lonely, no doubt steeped in dreams of the lavish masked balls and elegant dinner parties from centuries past, while the noble Venetian families who used to own them lived in modern condos in Mestre on the mainland, no longer in their beloved Venezia. How sad, you thought.

Heading back to the vaporetto stop, you decided you’d go to Accademia, have a look round the art gallery, visit the huge and famous church Santa Maria della Salute and then wander round the artisan shops in Dorsoduro, perhaps have a glass of vino in one of the cute little wine bars.

You were determined to make this afternoon and evening last for as long as you could. Billy would no doubt be waiting for you when you got back to Giudecca.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The man himself hadn’t even bothered unpacking this time, just in case. He’d had a quick shower and then had taken a short stroll around the local area. He noticed very few tourists and decided this was why she’d chosen it. He knew she’d prefer to sample the local life more than the tourist traps.

Not wanting to spend too much time away from the hotel, he made his way back and sat outside on the lone park bench in the courtyard area. He started running over in his mind what he was going to say to her, to be honest he still wasn’t sure how to frame it so that she wouldn’t go ballistic.

His stomach knotted. Who was he kidding? Of course she was going to go ballistic! He was about to admit he’d made out on more than one occasion with another woman. And irrespective of the fact that it had been strictly business from his point of view, his girl was not going to be the least bit impressed with him.

Fuck, I’ve really screwed this up, he allowed himself to think for the first time. He’d made his brain block out this uncomfortable thought what with all the chasing after her in the previous few days. He’d been telling himself over and over that everything would all be alright.

But now he thought… would it? Would it really?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Returning on the vaporetto to Palanca, you felt yourself starting to tense up. You knew Billy would either have arrived by now or would very shortly.

Whatever he had to say to to you, you knew you weren’t going to like it. The evidence was too strong that he’d been cheating on you and you weren’t going to let him off the hook for that. The problem was, you loved the stupid douchebag. But how could you trust him now, after he’d been seeing another woman? In some ways, it was worse that it was just the one. And you were sure it was just one, if the perfume evidence was anything to go by. It would almost have been better if he’d gone back to his old tom-catting ways, quantity over quality to coin Frank’s phrase. Your stomach twisted as you remembered him saying to you that at last Billy had reversed that equation when he got with you. But if he was seeing just the one? That was bad.

You began walking up the alleyway and as you reached the open area, you saw a figure sitting on the park bench, the back of a dark head. Billy.

Squaring your shoulders and feeling as if you were about to go into battle, you walked steadily towards him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Venice

(My Photos/video 3 & 7 / June 2012 & 2016)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @theshadowkingsqueen @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3 @bat-luna-cat

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#billy russo #ben barnes #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 46:

What does your editing/revision process look like?

GREAT QUESTION LOL (ʘᴗʘ✿)

It's a mess. It's a god damn shit ass mess. I can slam down 1k words in an hour if the mood strikes but I will, without question, second guess the everliving fuck out of every last word.

So I write a scene and then spend like 1 week minimum nitpicking it.

Editing fanfic! Its a thing I do until it makes me literally sick. Sometimes I know I'm done with something when I just can't fucking stand to read it anymore. Holy hell you guys just don't have any idea how heavily edited all of my work is.

The method is: draft first, fix later.

So usually my WIPs are stuffed into Tumblr's drafts thing. And I pick at them a few minutes at a time, multiple times a day.

While I'm at work

When I get home

Before bed

When I wake up

When I'm taking a shit

You know, downtime lol

In fact I often start editing the work before I even finish writing all of it.

The number one thing I find myself doing when I'm revising work, is taking the second half of a phrase/sentence/paragraph and cut/pasting it in front of what was once the first half. I don't know why but most of the time, when I rearrange words like this, I like them better.

I also keep the fucking thesaurus handy. Because I'm not confident in my vocabulary. One of the shitty things about writing a lot of smut is this oppressive feeling of "sameness" that permeates each work. It's all smut. Mouths, hands, genitals, sensations, feelings, intimacy. There are only so many words to describe how it feels to be touched. And I don't want to reuse the same idioms from scene to scene cause then it just feels like "I wrote the same smut but remixed." I'm trying to incorporate a heavy focus on dialogue these days and that's helping a lot, but wordplay is challenging when you're writing oral sex for the third time in two months. At that point I often find myself banging out a non smutty scene just to like, loosen up a little.

Side note: I found this "sexy thesaurus" online that listed "heart of her arousal" as a way to say vagina and I'll be honest I've never heard this one and I really love it so yeah expect to see that more lmao

And one of the biggest things I do when I'm editing is distance. I have to take breaks from the work, to write something else, or just to do anything else at all. Sometimes I read other fanfics which is a double edged sword because it's inspiring but also makes me think "fuck why didn't I think of that???" But I'm trying to distance myself from the notion that I can't "borrow" from other works. I can borrow. Borrowing a "train of thought" is not plagiarism. Borrowing one word used near another word is not plagiarism. If I don't try out new words, I will never grow as a writer.

And don't even get me started on dialogue. It's funny because I find Shepard's character a pain to write but her dialogue is very easy for me. She speaks with my voice (not literally but in terms of words). Thane I find easy to identify but harder to dialogue. I revise his words a lot. There's a fine line between his ample vocabulary and his direct way of speaking. For instance in Taste of Victory, I revised these lines at least five different ways:

"What do you hope to gain by poring all night over strategic data?" - I struggled with what exactly Shepard was looking at. I wanted her to be doing some small, pointless thing that made her feel like she was still contributing to the war while tired as fuck, but I didn't want to use the words "war assets."

"The whole galaxy could be on to us and I could not find it in myself to care." - I wanted him to say "I have no fucks to give" in the most Theloquent way possible. I just made up the word Theloquent - Thane + Eloquent. I'll see myself out LMAO

"Ah, the legend herself, assassinated in the fortified heart of her own warship?" - this line was originally way too long. I wanted to keep the words 'legend,' assassinated,' and 'warship.'

Thane in particular is very easy to "overdo," in my opinion. It's easy to put too many big words in his mouth and even easier to tack "Siha" on to every single line of dialogue. In my headcanon, he calls her Shepard just as often, usually saving Siha for more private moments but not always. Actually he sometimes calls her "Dess" too, as a shortened version of "December" (thank you spookyvalentine for that nickname!) but I don't use my Shep's name as a general rule. But yeah I don't want Thane to sound like a thesaurus.

The absolute hardest thing is second guessing the "plot." I'm dealing with a lot of that now. If I change an idea for something that hasn't been written yet - while simultaneously working on a scene that comes AFTER that event - oh my god it just makes my stomach flip with anxiety. I could fix this by actually writing in a linear fashion. But that's so fucking hard to do lmao. That's one reason I haven't finished my long ass WIP yet. I'm happy with the interlude scene but I keep thinking I want to slow burn it more - it's important because both Shep and Thane make direct references to events that happened previously. Events that I haven't written yet. This is me clutching my fucking head in my hands and screaming into a pillow lmao (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

So TLDR my editing process is extremely nonlinear, time consuming, and exhausting. I have this ingrained idea that "there's always room for improvement." But often by the time I'm done editing I can't see what's good about the work anymore. I know which moments I like but I can't see it from an objective standpoint anymore. Coming back to fanfic after years was an incredible experience because it was the first time I ever read my own work from a completely clueless perspective. It gave me inhuman confidence to write again, and I have to remember that because I'll second guess myself into the ground if I'm not careful.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I should maybe try and calm down a bit lol

#zet vs 100days #oh boy another wall of text

[goattypegirl]

Harrow the Ninth Live Read: Chapter 6-11

Con: It’s been a while

Pro: We finished part 1!

Con: this post is hella long now.

Chapter 6

Eighth House icon. Oh no. Gotta say, not a fan of the characters from the Eight House in Gideon the Ninth, whose names I now forget. There was Big Dude and Mayonnaise Twink. 

OH OK WE’RE STARTING OFF WITH SOME LOCKED IN SYNDROME SHIT. 

So, panicked person wheeling Harrow is given the title “Sacred Hand.” I vaguely recall seeing that before; is that a title given to Lyctors? Is this one of the OG Lyctors finally making an appearance? Wheeling the frozen Harrow to the Emperor to “unfuck accordingly?” Well, maybe not. Presumably another Lyctor would be able to “unfuck accordingly” themselves.

Oh disregard it is a Lyctor! And if we go back to the Dramatis Personae, this should be... Mercymorn! Originally of the Eighth House! She seems nice.

“It was his order that she not be touched.” Did the Emperor do this? But hwhy?

Calling Harrow and Ianthe babies is kind of hilarious. Aaaand Mercymorn just knocked this random person unconscious. OH wait is this the person the Emperor said to make static-y noises at? Survey says... maybe? They were called the Saint of Joy, which seems a unique title?

The whole description of the Lyctor and the way she visually dissects Harrow is so poetic, but something else catches my eye here. Harrow says her eyes did not have such a startling transition, which helps confirm my theory that Harrow is suppressing or undid the Lyctor process.

Also using the power of Cringe, Harrow partially(?) undoes the paralysis spell done to her. “An emotion was playing out over her face that was- not unfamiliar to you- but nonsensical; you discarded it.” Eh? What emotion could this be referring to? Confusion over what Harrow did? Awe? Fear? All of the above?

OH okay before I forget, Harrow formed a bone hook inside of her to do that, and she made that bone sheath to hold on to the sword, so maybe her necromancy isn’t being suppressed? Well, maybe. That feels more... internal? Like she hasn’t grown any full ass skeletons from bone dust yet.

...Why is Harrow afraid of telling Mercymorn her actual age? Why is the Body telling her to lie? Why fifteen??

Relief? That’s what flashed across Mercymorn’s face? Oh, duh, because Harrow did that and didn’t immediately die. Duh. Also she straight up said “hiss”? That is weird. Also, thinking back, it is weird there wasn’t an age requirement in the Lyctor trials. Also Mercymorn took Ianthe too???

“You’re not as pretty as Anastasia.” Anastasia being the member of the Ninth House listed with the Lyctors, but not as one of the Saints. Doing this liveread has its advantages, namely that I can remember shit that happened earlier! 

OH WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. “AS Anastasia,” not “As Anastasia was.” Implying Anastasia’s still alive? Matches her name not being struck through in the Dramatis Personae, and Mercymorn said there were 3 OG Lyctors now. Which matches with Anastasia not having that line about being a Saint! I’ve connected the two dots!

Okay there’s a lot going on here. Why is this normal necromancer so fascinating to Ianthe and Harrow? What she’s doing is pretty dope to be fair. Mercymorn called Ianthe 12... which... huh. More on that in a second. First, I need to google what the fuck an animaphiliac is... probably in an incognito window. Oh, okay, it’s just a style of necromancy in this universe okay thank God. Mercymorn also said Ianthe wasn’t as attractive as Cyrus... which is weird... And it reminds Ianthe of being with Mummy... I assume she means her mother, comparing her to Coronabeth? Oof.

So, back to the lowballing age thing. Mercymorn assumes Ianthe is 12, probably  because she’s super old and has forgotten how mortals age. Harrow seems to have subconsciously picked up on this, which is why she lied about her age. I’m still in the camp of the Body being non-supernatural in origin. Yes, she has Gideon’s eyes, BUT, she spoke in the voice of Harrow’s mother and Aiglamene. SO, my theory is that the Body is a product of the trauma Harrow’s gone through, that’s kind of externalizing Harrow’s inner thought process. Like I said earlier, I’ve read Twig, and this is reminiscent of that.

OH hey we’re headed to the frontline apparently? Because 3 warships got shot down suddenly? Which begs the question I’ve had in the back of my mind since first picking up this series, who the fuck are they fighting??? Probably not Ressurection Beasts, given what we know about them. Other humans, probably? Dominicus (probably) isn’t Earth or humanity’s home planet. 

Okay, hold up. The Emperor is trying to get to the frontline now, Mercymorn wants him to return to “the Mithraeum”, which is presumably the capital of the Empire outside of the Dominicus system? Also, Emperor’s been on the ship for 80 years, and been away from the Mithraeum for 100... Once again, the math’s not adding up...

Okay, so God hugs Mercymorn, she freezes, he confirms that he is leaving, and that he knows exactly who shot down 3 warships???

Okay cool we’re not headed to the fronline, we’re headed to the Mithraeum, whatever the fuck that is.

Ohhh and the Cohort necromancer girl died, or committed suicide? And the Emperor brought her back? ...There’s a story there.

Ohhhh Mom and Dad are fighting.

OKAY ONCE AGAIN A LOT TO UNPACK HERE BUT THE MITHRAEUM CAN ONLY BE REACHED BY ONE MEANS???? AND IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING A LYCTOR???

...Hey. So. Here’s something. In the description of Mercy’s sword, it says it has a white knob at the end of, and I quote “-you didn’t know the exact technical word. It was a pommel though.” There’s a disconnect there, between Harrow’s knowledge, and the narrator’s knowledge. This has happened a few other times, like just a few pages ago, Harrow says a room is used for bodily functions, but the narrator jumps in and says no one in the universe would call it that, it’s a toilet. And this is going to sound kind of batshit, but like 6 years ago i was in to Undertale, and there was a popular theory that the narrator in that game was a separate character from the PC and... a lot of the points used in that theory kinda ring true here... even the use of second person narration...

So the narrator is a separate character from Harrow? Now, whether this narrator exists in-universe, or if this is a really cool stylistic choice, is another story. Right now I’m leaning towards... I don’t know. Well, hm. If the Body is a kind of externalization of Harrow’s inner thought process, maybe the narrator is an internalization? 

That makes no sense.

Something to keep in mind.

Anyway, the shuttle detaches. There’s a sort of irony, in God being tired of people martyring themselves for him, but giving a speech saying “hey if you die in my service I love you.”

OKAY I think we’re about to go faster than light using necromancy? This should be good. OH OKAY WE’RE TAKING A SHORTCUT THROUGH HELL. COOL.

...so what was their original method of faster than light travel that turned out to be unusable? did it have to do with neutrinos in italy?

okay I love Mercy and the Emperor’s dialogue here. Again, objectively, I’m sure they’re bad people who have committed several warcrimes... but the way they bicker is just hilarious.

I’m googling hyperpotamus, and i’m only getting other Harrow the Ninth livereads, so it appears to be a term made for the book. But I have a terrible feeling it’s a pun on hippopotamus.

There are so many quotes here that I absolutely love, including “said the Lord of the Nine Houses, who apparently existed within a complex power dynamic.”  and “The magma metaphor falls apart from here.” 

...Oh. Okay, serious time. Even at the very start, just post-Resurrection, two of the Lyctors fell to the Resurrection Beasts. Well, one died, and one was “removed from play.” Which sounds horrifying.

So we’re dipping into Hell because you can move fast there. Hell is full of angry ghosts. This explains the ghost ward. Lyctors have hacked the system, and so can kind of survive there. And we learn what happened to Cassiopeia, one of the deceased Lyctors. (Interestingly enough it says she baited physical portions of the Ressurection Beast. Not a beast. Nor is it given a number...)

ALright so entering the River physically sounds fucking horrifying. I’m very glad we only have to do it this once and it definitely won’t come back later in the book nope definitely not.

“and that you felt alone in your head.” ;_;

Chapter 7

Sixth House icon.

There’s not a lot to say here, besides how freaky this is. How much do you want to bet that the faint wail Harrow hears is coming from the coffin with Cyntherea’s body?

JOHN. GOD’S NAME IS JOHN?? #NAME LORE UNLOCKED. IM JUST SO HAPPY I FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO REFER TO HIM WITHOUT STRUGGLING TO SPELL EMPORER EVERY FUCKIN TIME.

Also, Mercymorn knowing his like actual human name further implies some stuff about the timeline of the Ressurection, which I was wondering about previously... but that’s a discussion for later because Harrow’s in Hell!

Not a lot to say here besides 

fuck.

A few things. One. I think they’re going to get out of this okay? And by okay I mean alive? We know Ianthe, the Emperor, and Harrow live up to the point of the Prologue, and I don’t think Mercymorn is going to die already. 

Two. Cassiopeia was from the Sixth House, going by her Cavalier’s last name, which explains the chapter icon.

Three. The lights? The last page or so is very metaphorical, but, at the beginning it says Harrow perceived herself as a “sickly radiance”, and that she perceived the others on the ship as a light as well. She later said she was an “ova cluster of two hundred pinpricks of light.” So I think in this deep part of the River Harrow accidentally sent herself to, souls (maybe?) are displayed as lights. Harrow’s own soul is literally made up of the hundreds of dead House Nine kids, which is. Spooky. But then, at the end, when they jump out of the River, they bring 5 lights with them. So... either something hitched a ride with them, or it has something to do with Harrow suppressing Gideon and the Lyctor ritual. Everyone else on the ship has undergone the Lyctor ritual (or something similar, in John’s case), and they only have 1 light each. At least to Harrow’s eyes. BRUH IDK WHAT”S GOING ON. 

Chapter 8

No further answers here, this is a flashback chapter! So, sheared skull = flashback. And this chapter is going to feature the Fourth House, apparently. Who was Fourth House again? Oh no it was the kids. Oh no. ;_;

So, we are continuing through Harrow’s re-imagination of the events of Canaan House, with her Ortus OC in tow.

Of course Harrow is overwhelmed by normal tea, and of course Harrow thinks dressing up skeletons is stupid. 

AND of course Harrow would have a private prayer wishing doom on anyone that looks at her with any kind of emotion.

Hold up, the Anastasian tomb? Reserved for warriors? And presumably derived from the word Anastasia, the mysterious not-Lyctor of the Ninth House?? 

I can already tell Anastasia is going to become my Pepe Silvia. 

Ohhh this is going to be a lore bomb about the timeline of the Ressurection and I’m going to need to pull out my copy of Gideon the Ninth to see if any of this shit actually happened. 

TEN? TEN NORMAL ASS HUMANS? AND FIVE NECROMANCERS?? BUT THERE WERE SEVEN LYCTORS. THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

Okay so I checked and none of this shit actually happened! In fact, Teacher actually said there were 16, 8 necromancers, 8 cavaliers. Where the fuck is Harrow getting 10 from? Who knows! And rather than explicitly saying “hey check out the basement labs to see how to become a Lyctor,” Teacher actually said fuck if I know. Not actually. But still.

Oh of course it’s called the Sleeper!! I had Kill Bill sirens playing in my head when I first read that. 

So,  had a whole ass monologue here, but this is already very long and im sleepy, so to very quickly summarize, the Parahumans series had an entity known as the Sleeper that was intentionally very mysterious and raised a lot of questions amongst fans, and the fact that there’s another entity here known as the Sleeper is flooding me.

So, I’m spooked. Again, this entire conversation did not actually happen. Teacher’s dialogue is precious. “go where I durst not go: because I love my life, and I love noise, also.” and “I do not know the answers to any of these questions, only that, already, you are being too loud.”

So, the rest of the chapter plays out with Ortus complaining to Harrow. Intriguingly, he says that Harrow doesn’t have much of an imagination, when she says there was no one else to choose as her Cavalier... And then one of the skeletons says, “Is this how it happens?” harkening back to Parodos, when the Body says something similar. There’s a lot to unpack here. One, like I said previously, because Ortus, and apparently the entirety of Canaan House, is a product of Harrow’s mind, they can maybe give some insight into Harrow herself. However, the fact that Ortus seems to break character and chastise her for her lack of imagination is... I don’t know.

Okay, theory time. “The Work” alluded to in the letters is not only the suppression of Lyctor-hood, it’s also the erasure of Gideon, and the creation of these false memories. Meaning Lyctor!Harrow somehow crafted them; there was conscious effort behind it. Which means we can totally pick these scenes apart to gain further insight into Harrow! The skeleton and the Body asking if this is what happened, and Ortus breaking character (maybe) are her subconscious breaking through... Maybe that ties into my idea of the narrator being an internalization or compartmentalization of Harrow’s trauma? Hmm...

Chapter 9

Seventh House skull, and not a flashback. I’m guessing this is because we’re going to inter Cyntherea’s body here.

Okay, so time seems to have passed. IDK how much of the River Harrow remembers here. It seems like she recalls it like a bad dream. Ianthe’s here, and they’re in a chapel made of bone. Or at least one absolutely covered in bone. 

Here’s a question. The necromancy Harrow excels at, that’s creating a whole ass skeleton from a single bit of bone. Is she actually creating a new skeleton? Or is she reforming one. Like if she had two teeth from the same skeleton, could she use that to make two new skeletons? In the last chapter the Ressurection was described as not creating anything new... does that apply to all of necromancy, or just what the Emperor did?

Also another side note, Harrow says the stars glow with an unearthly light, which matches what the Emperor said, that they restarted the stars near the Mithraeum with thanergy, so they’re weird now. Except... wasn’t Dominicus restarted the same way? Or is the Dominicus system a hybrid of thanergy and thalergy? I’m getting my energies mixed up.

Anyway yep it’s Cyntherea’s funeral, and Harrow is checking the fuck out.

Okay we have a new Lyctor... and I’m guessing it’s Augustine, since he and Mercymorn are fighting.  

Okay and John’s giving a speech and giving more lore about the pre-Ressurrection and it’s confirmed that this guy is Augustine and-

First gen? Second gen? Sixth installation?? Valancy? ANASTASIA?

bruh im so flooded and this is supposed to be such a reverent moment.

Ohhh this is awkward now that they’re pulling Ianthe and Harrow forward. Okay we get a formal introduction to Mercymorn and Augustine. Augustine trails off before the third... and asks if he, the third surviving Lyctor, knows about the missile strikes...Is the third Lyctor the one leading the people who shot down the warships, which is sounding increasingly like a rebellion rather than a battle against others? Who’s the third again ah fuck it’s ORTUS.

ORTUS is apparently interested in “you-know-what”. Which I don’t know what. Please elaborate. 

ORTUS is here and he’s skeletal. OH AND SO IS RESSURECTION BEAST NUMBER SEVEN.

FUCK.

(bruh what the fuck is a pseudo-Beast)

Okay yep time to fight an eldritch god.

Speaking of which, God’s name is John confirmed.

And Harrow bled from the ear and fell unconscious, hearing the name ORTUS.

Chapter 10

Pog we’re almost done with part 1. Fifth skull, sheared, so it’s flashback time. 

I don’t recognize immediately where we are; apparently this is in the library in Canaan House? Though I don’t remember one from Gideon the Ninth. We see a bit of personality from Ortus, when he complains about Fifth House poetry, which is nice. 

Oh, wait, never mind, that was Magnus speaking. Ortus remains as boring as ever.

Hehehehe dick jokes.

Hey so no fake vow of silence in the false memories of Canaan House! That’s interesting. As is Magnus and Abagail being here, and them being pretty fleshed out characters. As are these cooking instructions from the Lyctors...

HOOOOOOOLD the phone here. The cooking notes mention an M and Nigella... which was the first name of Cassiopeia’s cavalier... How would Harrow know that? The easy explanation is that this is a note that Harrow actually found, and is placing here in her fake memories... The other explanation is that something funky is afoot...

Ooohkay Magnus is asking if this is how it happens now. The simulation is breaking down. AND ABAGAIL CAN TELL THAT HARROW IS A LIVING WAR CRIME. PANIC.

Okay now we’re getting Ortus emotion! He is a grown ass man Harrow. At least, he would be, were he not a figment of Harrow’s imagination.

HEEEEY

WHAT THE FUUUUCK

WE’RE CONTINUING ON THIS DYING EGGS THING

PROBABLY WILL BE RELEVANT LATER.

Okay and the simulation breaks down further when Ortus says “you did have a cavalier with a backbone, I’m not them.” Interestingly enough, it’s hours later Harrow realizes something’s weird... Huh...

Chapter 11

Seventh House skull.

Literally just a paragraph saying Harrow sleepwalked and stabbed Cyntherea’s body.

...She sleep walked... the Sleeper from the fake Canaan House...

#harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth liveread #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb

[kariachi]

Okay y’all, it’s the big day. The latest of the Ben 10 movies, after which I will be fully caught up on the franchise and can unblacklist it finally because two days is too damn much already.

I’m going in with, pretty much no info? I’ve watched one trailer, don’t even know if there’s more, and gotten hints of spoilers. Enough to worry for my son but not enough to actually know anything. Which, given Kevin is about all I care about, tells you some of how I feel going into this. Am crossing my fingers and hoping this ends with him in a really good space and having nothing to do with Phil because I have been worrying about that since I learned he would be in this.

Don’t trust that man as far as my piddly arms could throw him and anyway I don’t want Kevin anywhere near any part of the Forever Dipshit unless he’s actively dismantling the fucker. Asshole deserves to get turned into a toaster. Haven’t heard any ‘oh your reaction is going to be fun’ sort’ve stuff from anybody, so fingers crossed.

But, we can’t know anything until we get into it, so, Ben 10 Versus The Universe.

An hour 12 minutes, yeah it looks like my initial estimate might be accurate. I will be here the entire damn day.

Ooo, it’s own intro, very nice.

Okay, 1) like that intro, very much in the style of the other series and I like that about it. 2) Spent it wondering if they were going to include Kevin in the rogue’s gallery runthrough and instead it literally ends with the Tennysons and Kevin in the Rustbucket, Kevin being his normal little shit self.

Maybe watching this when I was on the rag was a bad idea because y’all I am already in tears he’s enjoying himself so much. My precious son. Gods I love him.

Can I just sit on this frame for an hour, would that count? Can fill the time with telling you how much I love my son.

Ben 10 Versus The Universe: The Movie (The Game: The Gameshow: The TV Series)

They brought in fucking everybody for this. Kelly is at the bottom of the list but I am putting my trust in her. Seriously y’all I am so happy with her work on this show, I knew the reboot was going to be good as soon as I learned she was going to be working on it, she is a delight.

Okay, actual show, apparently we’re starting at what looks like a small base. I don’t know for what. it looks like they want me to think it’s military but also yeah no. The pool is throwing me off the most, I think. I mean wtf?

Oh look, Smythe shit. A steam-powered airship-zeppelin. And Ben as Heatblast handling the situation, as one does.

Ben is so tired. He needs a vacation from this vacation so damn bad. Somebody else handle the villains so he can get like, two weeks to actually relax.

Ah, it’s an industrial server farm. I don’t know enough about those or if it’s even a thing to give an opinion. Smythe wants it gone though, to the shock of nobody.

He wasn’t to wipe out telecommunications so we’re left with telephones as our most advanced mode of conversation.

Ben, meanwhile, is asleep. Can’t blame him.

Ben is bored. This shit is like clockwork, he could probably save the day in his sleep at this point. Especially from Smythe.

“I’m not even breaking a sweat, and I’m on fire!”

Ben saves the day, hardly even has to try (pretty much doesn’t) and in the end even Smythe has to agree this is getting repetitive.

Huh, Max and Gwen were in the doom-ball.

Max and Gwen are not impressed with Ben having been bored while they were under the threat of danger. Ben has the very valid point that they really weren’t at any risk, even if they were in a mine.

Max, while talking about staying ready for the unexpected, gets a phonecall.

Ben: “Bet you anything it’s Phil. He’s got some big emergency and we’ve gotta go somewhere and look at something.” Gwen: “You don’t have to be so smug. Not everything is a dire situation.” Max: “It’s Phil, we gotta go to his lab and look at something. He says it’s pretty dire.” Ben: “Like clockwork.”

Honestly I’d be bored too. This is why they needed to add Argit, something to mix things up, change up the style.

Unfortunately I didn’t get any ‘your reaction is gonna be so fun’ messages so I don’t think we’re getting Argit. But hopefully, given space and Kevin are involved, we will receive an opening for later Argitness.

Hello Phil. I still don’t trust you. You have been nothing but vaguely suspicious shit on top of vaguely suspicious shit every since the season 1 finale and with your history in the other series? Where you were a dipshit from the word go? I wouldn’t leave you alone with a beanbag chair.

Ben, not taking shit seriously, Gwen unimpressed, Phil stating that actually it may be the end of the world. Honestly fuck it save the children let it die. The reboot sequels can be Ben, Gwen, and Kevin traveling the galaxy trying to, ya know, survive and shit. They gather an Argit on the way who honestly is amazed these three didn’t die within a day and half. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that!

Do you even have a bedroom or anything, Phil, or is that building just all lab? Do you pull a Kevin and sleep on your tech?

I don’t trust this giant-computer room. It’s giving me FD vibes.

Anyway yadda yadda object heading straight for Earth, we continue

Ben is so excited to have something new going on

Phil thinks this is a massive meteorite. I’m going to guess warship because I’m fairly certain I remember Incurseans being involved somewhere and honestly.

Oh Ben

I’m like 3.5 minutes in

Ben: If I turn into Cannonbolt you guys can launch be at the meteor and the impact would make it go kablooey Gwen: You and the meteor would ricochet off each other sending you into deep space with no way back Ben: I’d never have homework again Gwen: Ben please

“After months of analyzing your Omnitrix-” I swear this show’s relationship with time will drive me to drink

Phil, do you really think you have time to try to properly prep the child for space? I mean you’ve got over an hour of movie but in-universe

...Phil, why do you have a g-force simulator? And where the fuck are you fitting it?

Okay, seriously, I am concerned at this point by the shit he has on hand. Also why are they focusing on FourArms, mix it up, there’s nine other aliens available

You guys realize you don’t have much choice but to send him anyway? I mean unless you intend to hunt down Kevin and sacrifice him instead which, honestly would be in line with his adult interactions so far and honestly space was good for him in the sequels so maybe it’ll be good for him here.

Ben is so excited and Gwen is so done.

Upgrades to the armor shit have been unlocked.

Problem being, the new armor makes Jetray look, very humanoid. I am not impressed.

Gotta hand it though, Boy can get some speed now. Holy crap. Hate to see XLR8 upgraded.

“We’ve only got one shot at this” Ben’s moving fast enough I think you’ve got a solid three or four

Gwen, Gwen are you having an existential crisis? He’s passed the moon, he’s not coming back down anytime soon.

Ben please

And Ben lost that game of chicken with the meteor, having swerved away at the last moment, presumably because the Omnitrix has the whole ‘you are not dying you fucker’ thing going on

And Ben has been flown right into a fucking vortex of some variety or another. Welp.

Thirty seconds until the meteor hits, nobody knows where Ben vanished too, Phil is resigned, Max is blank, and Gwen looks fucking haunted. Poor kid does not deserve this. She needs a vacation from this vacation too

Oh Gwen, baby

Welp, everyone is fairly certain Ben is dead. Good news is, you won’t outlast him by long the meteor should take out earth in about four seconds

Motherfuck- If you are going to just vanish can you not wait until one second before you’re supposed to hit a planet?!?! Fucking rude!!

Motherfucking Vilgax! I should’ve known! Only you would be so rude! Also how much shit was your little ramshackle pod encased in that it was mistaken for the largest meteor seen?

So, Vilgax is here on Earth and our only defense is Max, Gwen, and presumably Kevin. Either Kevin is going to tap into some pre-reboot murder instincts or shit is about to get bad.

Ben has been carried through the wormhole to, Kinet? I think that’s Kinet, give me a second- No! No it’s Petropia! Listen it’s been a while let me live. Why drop Ben here? wtf is going on?

Swimming through space because your ultra jetboots stopped working

Somebody is watching this child. Who? We know not.

Ben: *times out* Omnitrix: Fuck no *builds spacesuit*

Ben, worried he failed and doomed Earth. It’s okay, it was just Vilgax. Once you find your way back home it’ll all be good.

Sudden spaceship. Also is space just, purple? Is that what’s going on here?

Oh look, Incurseans. Hi.

Omnitrix takes a while to register an alien language and start translating, which makes sense that it would take a little bit for a translator like that to kick in, the tech trying to figure out what language is being spoken. Don’t think I’ve seen that before in a work, very nice. Also the language is literally Incursean so, that’s nice to know. Handy for someone like me.

...Ben is being arrested by the Incurseans for multiple violent crimes perpetrated across the universe. Did not expect that from them.

Also Azmuth, please explain to me what precisely you did with this watch before you threw it at Earth?

...How you could mistake Ben for Vilgax I do not know, but it’s nice to know it wasn’t Azmuth causing wanton destruction and chaos? I guess? This certainly explains how the bastard knew how the Omnitrix worked.

Takes Ben ten seconds of being amazed at and in love with the Omnitrix to register that they think he’s Vilgax.

The Incurseans know about Earth. I’m not sure if that’s a good, bad, or neutral thin in the reboot. The whole ‘arresting a fucker for crimes against the universe’ thing has thrown me off.

Ben plays along for a chance to escape, meanwhile you know Kevin would’ve snapped and argued and fought until they had to admit he couldn’t be Vilgax because Vilgax wouldn’t lower himself to biting.

(I mean it, look at that child and tell me he doesn’t bite)

Well, Ben almost escaped. Too bad Incurseans have those long-ass tongues

Humongasaur fighting an endless swarm of frogs

Ben just is having a day. Honestly it’s lucky Earth’s not going to get wrecked by a meteorite because otherwise he’d be fucked.

Team Tennysons is trying to track Ben down on Earth. Apparently Phil has found the Omnitrix’s signal and they’re tracking that. Three guesses who they’re about to find and the first two don’t count.

Phil: He crashed from space so he might be- Tennysons: Finish that sentence and die

Yeah, the red flashing doesn’t clue them in or anything

And the energy signature looks different. Gwen, darling, you are experienced enough to know exactly who you’re about to find in a cave in the middle of nowhere in the desert (because of-fucking-course, my goddamn disaster)

How is the red flashing not cluing you in? Ben is green, Kevin is red, and together they make one whole Christmas.

Kevin hauling ass, presumably either because something is wrong with his watch (my poor son) or because the Tennysons calling him Ben is freaking him out (my poor son) or both (my poor song)

Okay, Gwen, the tone wasn’t awful but still, was not nessecary to put that emphasis on ‘Kevin’ after the ‘it was just’. Alongside the almost aggravated look when you finally put the pieces together and realized it was him? I know you’re worried for Ben but come on. You hunted him down, he is innocent in everything.

Also can we talk about, something is clearly wrong? I guessed something was wrong with the watch, I think I was right- Kevin was groaning after timing out, holding his head, it’s not normal.

The first thing my son says is telling the Tennysons to get lost (quote “You heard him, hit the road” after Phil tells them to call him when they go back to their search), which isn’t surprising given the look on his face after Gwen’s ‘it was just Kevin’. Something is wrong and now he’s upset on top of that because, well, we know him and how he feels about not being appreciated.

Also holy shit the framing, with Kevin on top of a tall rock in an empty cave, with his back to the Tennysons, making up just a small part of the shot. Really emphasizing just how alone he is.

(Dear reboot give him his rat and prison-dad for fuck’s sake)

(Nobody sent me any ‘your response is gonna be fun’ messages, so I’m assuming I don’t get Kwarrel either, damnit. I can only hope for openings for later Kwarrel in the franchise)

Oh. Oh my son. Oh something has gone very wrong and he is shifting uncontrollably. He has isolated himself so nobody sees him like this. My baby. My precious little perfect child

Notice that he is shifting uncontrollably and he has still not taken off the watch, which would be the obvious answer to the dilemma. So why? Was he too busy freaking out to think of it? Or does on or off not matter anymore?

Tennysons: Why don’t you come along and let us help you? Kevin: Fuck you and your talking car too

“I built this. I should be able to control it.” Oh Kevin...

“And that’s amazing!” And Kevin has no fucking response (except to be a crushing wreck but, I’m deducting the half point and moving on). Praise? For his work? Is that legal?

My son. My heart.

“I didn’t do it all on my own. There was kinda this weird dream.” Said while he’s making his way down to the Tennysons because in the end all he needs is for someone to call him amazing, give him praise, notice him, appreciate him, acknowledge his worth.

The Tennysons recommend letting Phil help because he helped Ben and Kevin’s response is, quote “I’m. Not. Ben! And this isn’t the Omnitrix, it’s the Antitrix*.”

*First time Kevin’s watch has been referred to by that name in the show. Prior to this it was always called a watch or an Omnitrix.

There is so much fucking going on in Kevin tell me we’re learning some of it here I’m begging, give me the inner workings of my son

...pause a second, I don’t wanna look it up because I’m worried about spoilers, but does Kevin’s watch look different? The strap system is different, I’d swear it. Or maybe I’m wrong, it’s been a few days since a Kev episode...

Kevin pointing out that he’s not a Tennyson, denying ever doing anything to help them, wondering what their deal is, claiming they should hate him (my fucking son! someone get this child a dad and a rat, a blanket, some cocoa, and some fucking love and affection!)

By the way, I’m almost 20 minutes in and it’s been over two hours. Kevin is here now, things are probably gonna start going slower.

The Tennysons letting Kevin know they don’t hate him. Max straight up saying he doesn’t seem like a bad kid, just a lost one. Which honestly is very true, he is a good child he just doesn’t really... he’s a mess and there is so much in him and so much of it sour and just- He needs love. Proper, healthy love and guidance by someone who’ll look out for him, put his needs first. It’s why I want Kwarrel back- he, Gar, and reboot!Max have treated Kevin the best, been the most healthy adult interactions he’s had, through the franchise. Kwarrel could be the adult figure he needs in his life, but he got the one episode and nothing and just- I just want the best for Kevin.

“If you trust us, we’ll trust you.” And then Kevin agreeing to come along as long as his watch gets fixed.

Oh gods the smile as he follows them! Like, a moment of happiness for the child!

Vilgax set a city on fire. I take it he’s in a mood.

Yep. Definitely in a mood. Also how the fuck did you get out of the Null Void?

Oh look, we’re back with Ben. Honestly the least interesting part of this movie right now, though I love him.

Although I gotta admit, I never would’ve guessed the Omnitrix being used for a mistaken identity plot like this.

...okay unless he was thrown in the Null Void before you can’t charge him with that he was thrown in unlawfully. Or at least one would hope so. This is space so, the laws have been pretty fucked up in earlier series.

Y’all so not know the joy when you see “How do you plead” and go ‘he pleads not fucking Vilgax’ and then you hit play and Ben’s plea is “not Vilgax”.

Ben is fucking tired of people treating him like he’s Vilgax and you can’t rightly blame him.

Oh, look, Walkatrout. Hi guys! Nice to see you!

Oooo, hello spider-like babies! One second guys I gotta get you a screenshot!

I love them.

Also check out these fuckers!

Seems everybody and their mother is here to see this shit go down

Hi Tetrax. Care to tell us why you are here as a witness for the prosecution?

Welp, can’t see this going well

Tetrax, you lying shit, what is your angle? You have got to have something to gain from this.

Tetrax, describing Ben: “It’s like- It’s like a squishy little sack of organs held together with hair. And it’s head is enormous.”

Ben’s making another break for it

“-these are not the actions of the hero you claim to be-” Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Don’t sentence him to the Null Void you already know Vilgax can get out!

I’m impressed by how much these people believe in Vilgax’s acting skills. Like the fact that he’s acting nothing like himself and in fact 100% like the small child he appears to be only proves that he’s a good actor and not that, ya know, maybe they should check and see if they actually did grab somebody’s kid by accident. I mean it’s not like shapechanging watches are a one-and-done deal, a fucking 11-yo made one

And Ben gets dropped through a portal to, somewhere. It certainly doesn’t look like the Null Void.

Poor crying baby

“You don’t deserve to wield the Omnitrix, it belongs with it’s creator- me.” Oh fuck off, Azmuth. You let a squid have it for fuck’s sake.

Phil studying the Antitrix. Apparently the energy signature is very sporadic, but seems familiar.

Solar, Polar, please, we’ve got shit going on. Important Antitrix information. Could you not take a vacation? Take your mother to Disney World or something?

They’re at the fucking house because Phil has the most powerful radio tower in the country. Of course.

The Tennysons sent Kevin outside to handle them and he’s just standing in the yard watching them and eating chips. Telling them to shove off so his shit can get fixed. How is he not the most popular character in this franchise? Has he not earned a fucking spin-off?

Fucking Dark Matter running through the twins like tissue paper

Gwen, a firm believer in the art of ‘Kevin needs to fucking chill’.

My son sees cops and bolts. Nobody is surprised, given his everything. Honestly it’s probably the safest bet he’s got in anything in life- avoid cops.

“Whoever you saw on those security cameras it wasn’t me!” Kevin what did you do?

Is shocked to find the cops aren’t there for him, my poor son.

Kevin: *is just barely compared to Ben* This cannot be allowed to stand

“Proud? Of me?” Y’all the look on his face! My son! 

Like he’s not entirely sure if this is legal but he’s not about to look it in the face! My baby!

Vilgax! Hello! I knew you and my son were both going to be here so I saved you a spot in the pit! Reserved seating, as it were

Fuck off, squid-boy, the kid built the watch fair and square!

Oh gods, tell me the ‘Vilgax was involved in the dream situation’ theory isn’t being proven here

Also the look on Kevin’s face when he’s noting having seen Vilgax before, somewhere between ‘wait a minute’ and ‘you, you are the one I must kill’

He was in the dream and my boy is freaked.

“Used you as a vessel to finally complete my own design” Vilgax you gave the child a dream with a blueprint in it. There is only so much credit you can give yourself. How did you even do that? Is this some new Chimera Sui Generis  thing? Superstrength, tentacles, laser eyes, and fucking dreamwalking?

Is the Freddy Kruger of squid

As I said designing the piece means nothing if you go handing out the design to whoever. You can still patent the shit, maybe, but you can’t claim that whatever people made with said pretty-much-opensource design is your property.

Vilgax: It’s my design, give it to me Kevin: Fight me bitch

Kevin ‘Fight Me’ Levin

Ya know, I always though FD would be Kevin’s first kill but honestly it might be Vilgax.

I love him so much you guys. He is the most precious thing ever.

Kicks Vilgax’s arm as he’s going tor the watch, backflips away, perfect landing and out to kick ass

Vilgax if you wanted a kid who would just hand the watch over when you showed up maybe you shouldn’t have handed the design off to the most obstinate, anti-authoritarian, ‘you don’t tell me what to do’ child on the face of the planet Earth. You’d have probably had an easier time getting shit from Looma.

Poor gay couple who just got a car through the roof of their new house

Vilgax can talk shit all he likes, but Kevin is putting up a good fight. That’s another thing he maybe should’ve kept in mind, maybe don’t choose the kid who was doing perfect backflips presumably before he even got the stupid dream.

Okay, Ben is in the Null Void. They’ve tidied the place up since the OG series

Hello, species whose name I can’t remember off the top of my head. Good advice for the child thank you

Oh look, a Loboan, hello

There’s a whole mess of peeps. Including an Ectonurite, Vulpimancer, and Pisciss Volann

Dudes you already know Vilgax wants the watch why do you want to get his attention by getting it your own damn selves? It’s more trouble than it’s worth honestly.

These guys need to chill.

Yeeeep, deeefinitely need to chill

Ya know, Azmuth, if you wanted to show up and take your watch back? Now would be a good time? There’s a whole load of people here vying for it, earn the damn thing.

Hmmmm

Azmuth. Darling. Why are you in the Null Void? Why are you so firmly in the Null Void that fuckers know you and bend to your commands? The fuck did you do?

Everybody is talking shit about Ben today. He’s ten, let the child live!

Ben, out to kick Azmuth’s ass because he thinks he works for Vilgax because let’s be real, he’s had a fucking day and is also literally ten

Azmuth, just a rampaging dick wherever you find him

Also he has the Omnitrix back now

Jesus fuck, I just really want somebody to come step on Azmuth. Like, Vilgax is a dick but that’s his job, Azmuth is just, a fucking dick.

Azmuth you cannot talk about Ben being an infant and then turn around and say he should’ve known to kill Vilgax. He is a child.

Le gasp. Vilgax was Azmuth’s student. I’m going to assume you got thrown in here for not killing him your own damn self?

Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, annoying Azmuth into telling him the story of wtf happened with him and Vilgax

Young-Azmuth here is just, an image I never needed in my life. Give me Blukic and Driba back

Young Vilgax with goggles

And, shocker, Vilgax went ‘science is great but I can do you one better- universal domination’

Wow, Azmuth. Ya know if you’d had any braincells sufficiently developed you’d have known to kill him.

Azmuth. If you could have maybe one manner. A single etiquette.

Also, really? Sending the Omnitrix to Earth was the only option? You couldn’t destroy it now that it’s true destructive potential was known? Recode the damn thing to stricter parameters in a new coding language? Nothing else? Greatest mind in the universe and you couldn’t think of something, anything, besides sending it to a planet that would’ve been completely helpless if Vilgax had managed to get his hands back on it?

Ben: Okay, fuck you and your watch then, I’ll just go beat Vilgax myself Azmuth: Wait what?

Azmuth has set Ben a trial. You know the one, the ‘reach me within this time frame’ shit. If he passes he gets to keep the Omnitrix.

Attempt 1: No shapeshifting Attempt 2: Rath into Humongasaur

Attempt 3 starts with him having managed to end up outside of the trail area entirely

Azmuth is just a fucking dick. Ben points out that his entire goal is to save his planet from Vilgax, Azmuth blows it off because the fact Ben has his life’s work is more important. Gods just, being reminded how big a dick Azmuth is...

Azmuth, please keep in mind that the child is in fact a child

Ben and Kevin need to make friends so Kev can teach him some moves, he’d have kicked this Ectonurite in the head by now

Ben Tennyson, professional Good Child, saves the fucker that’s been giving him shit.

Ben figuring out new ways to use the Omnitrix and unlocking Goop!

Gods, Azmuth, now you gotta shittalk Goop too? Now you’re just being a speciest dick.

Ben saves a fucker, a fucker who’s been nothign but a shit to him, just barely fails the trial, and breaks down over not managing to beat it and save Earth. He’s so good you guys.

“Color me surprised that altruism still exists in this reality” you don’t get to make comments like that when you’ve been nothing but a dick the entire time you’ve been on screen

Azmuth has given Ben more time and a way out of the Null Void. Because it’s Azmuth, of course he’d rather stay there and wallow in his own bullshit that actually go out into the universe and do something about the problems he started.

Don’t waste your breath on him, Ben, he doesn’t deserve it

Dude he saved is now a Ben fan.

And Ben takes a sidetrip to save the Incurseans from a giant Null Void portal

And back on Earth Kevin is still putting a fight. He’s not winning, but he’s still fighting because he is a precious disaster.

The Tennysons trying to get it through his obstinate, broken little brain that he can accept help (and also that just because Ben does it doesn’t mean he has to refuse just to keep himself distinct from him (I am wording this badly but, I can’t word it right just now...))

It doesn’t work. 

My son. Vilgax ain’t even tired and Kevin is but he’s still holding his own.

Holy shit Phil has a living room

And Gwen has become a hostage. Good job drawing attention to yourself kiddo.

Yes Gwen, bite the squid! It’s not doing anything but I appreciate the enthusiasm and the fighting back!

She hardly even counts as a hostage, Kevin went to straight punch Vilgax and the dude just threw her away. At least use her as a fucking shield!

“You must be under the impression that you are special, when in reality you were only good for one thing.” 1) Yeah, building what you couldn’t. 2) Kevin is a brilliant artist and engineer, good at athletics, with a natural talent for magic, all on top of a good sense of humor and a smile like the fucking sun, HE IS WORTH TEN OF YOU

Also, so far the movie has given me no reason to believe that he was given any parts or tools with which to build this watch so, on top of all that, all my earlier points still stand so far as far as Kevin being better than fucking Tony Stark with machinery. Is that why you threw the design at this foul-tempered, stubborn little thing, Vilgax? Not because you’re an idiot and he could build it, but because he’s the only one who could? I’ve seen no proof against it yet.

Okay giving us that, that fucking view of him after being tossed, fucking skipping over the asphalt, was not nessecary!!!

My son...

My son....

You did great sweetie! You were amazing!

My son.... My poor, battered, exhausted, son....

Also the fact that he straight up says he’ll try again later, which is just- I don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt he will wake up and immediately upon realizing his watch is gone head out to fight Vilgax again.

The fucking K on the antitrix turning into a V is aggravating for pit-related reason but also very thematically appropriate

Vilgax fucking chimerized himself. Fuck off, that’s Kevin’s thing. Just all about stealing from children

Vilgax steals his chimerism shtick and Kevin immediately starts regaining consciousness. My child

Extra toothy mouths too?! Fucking chill, squid-boy!

Kevin is up and moving and everyone is fleeing a pissed Vilgax in the Rustbucket. He is now on the hunt for Ben

Vilgax is, really putting them through the wringer and Kevin is not happy.

And Kevin, once they’re at Vilgax’s mercy, runs off to start shit once again with the fucker. Because my child is perfect.

He has hijacked fucking Glitch! Of course he has! My child! Harness the fucking Glitch!

He and Glitch, luring Vilgax away with ease because this man handles disrespect worse than Kev does.

The Rustbucket is scrap, but Phil might have an option.

And we’re back to Ben. When last we left him he’d worn himself out saving the Incurseans, straight passing out, and now, now we’re back to him.

The Incurseans saved him, and are apologizing for starting shit. Which is better than they were in past iterations so honestly I’m happy with them.

Incursean leader: You have legal permission to apprehend Vilgax Ben: I don’t know how to get home IL: We’ll take you Incursean Otherdude: We can’t enter warpdrive Ben: What about that wormhole I took before? IO: ...that would work IL: Great, let’s go!

They are going to scour the ship for Tetrax so they can bring him in for falsely accusing a 10-yo hero of being Vilgax

Back to the Best Boy and Glitch fucking psychoanalysing my child as someone who uses an abrasive attitude to ward of people who may hurt him but at heart is a good person

“Listen, if there’s anything I know, it’s how to adapt and survive. If anyone can deal with being alone with Captain Calamari out here, it’s me.” My son!!

And they’re caught. Somebody give Kevin a crowbar or something.

Holy shit Glitch sacrificed himself to give Kevin a shot! Fucking hell! That, I think that may earn back the half point lost for the Gwevin. Sacrificing yourself to save my son earns a lot.

Oh you did not just call my son sniveling and pathetic. You didn’t. You get the special pit with FD.

My boy is crying. My boy is crying. A squid is going to die. Thou shalt not suffer a Vilgax to live.

The first person to get me a picture of Vilgax being torn apart by Kevin 11k gets a drabble.

Glitch! Giving my boy the aid and encouragement he needs in this moment! You definitely get the half point!

Kevin, like Ben, is having A Day.

Did, did Glitch and Kevin just fucking biomerge? Taking my son up a notch? Oh yesss

Glitch has been working on becoming armor for Ben but, well, Kevin needs it right now and it did need a testrun. Kevin is so happy to get to use it first. Seriously I don’t know what happened in their backstory but, damn

My boy

Welp

Back to Ben and Tetrax really should’ve been ready to bail, taking so long is just unprofessional.

Azmuth paid Tetrax to lie in court. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. Nobody. I’m shocked.

Ben is letting Tetrax go because he’s like 60% certain he helped in the long run

*snort* Okay, like that fourth wall break.

Kevin and Glitch, still fighting Vilgax, to the surprise of nobody given Kevin does not cannot will not stop fighting

They work well together, they really do. Glitch is more entertaining when he’s actually working off somebody rather than trying to just, be his own thing.

Ben cannot catch a break today

The Tennysons in an actual car plus Kevin and Glitch, all fighting Vilgax together because fuck it, better than going it alone right now

There’s still another twelve minutes.

My son. My Son. “A pity you didn’t stand down while you still had the chance.” “I’d rather go all-in and end up squashed than stand around and let some slab of squid jerky like you stand around and take over the planet.”

Ben is back on Earth and ready to join the fray. Sorry Squiddly but there is no chance in hell you can handle Kevin and Ben at the same time. Actually I’m fairly certain Kevin’s not gonna end up a Tennyson half because of this fucking obsession with Gwevin and half because Kevin and Ben as family would end the universe all on it’s own.

The fact Kevin then proceeded to call him Squidly just makes this day better.

A lot has happened since you left, Ben. Everyone has been having A Time.

And Vilgax smacks Kevin away, doing that final bit of damage to take Glitch out of the fight. Which means Kevin is out of the fight, or at least will be in a minute because honestly I’ll be surprised if nobody sits on him after that last stunt he pulled.

We’ve got nine minutes, let’s see if Vilgax can stand up against Ben, especially after all the fighting he’s already been doing. Neither of them is fresh, but Ben is fresher.

Vilgax is kicking ass so far. C’mon Ben, use Goop!

My son! Acting like he’s not worth saving because he can’t be useful. I am going to hunt down his father and the FD and destroy them both.

Glitch can drain the car and start repairs. The Tennysons are being helpful and Good.

My baby! He is just, confidence has plummeted. Kevin, baby, you are the best thing on this show! You are amazing!

Max, pointing out that Kevin managed to hold off Vilgax on his own, and that he and Ben together can kick his ass. Phil backing it up with a ‘the world needs you right now’.

Yesss, support for my son, this is all I want in this world

“Stand back, I’m going after my watch.” What did I tell you. He’s getting that fucking watch back if he has to eat Vilgax to do it. He worked hard on that thing!

Glitch is falling the fuck apart, Ben is down, Vilgax is about to win, and Kevin is not looking like he’s about to stop anytime soon.

MY BOY!!!!! MY FUCKING SON!!!! THE PERFECT BEING!!!!!!

He dove at Vilgax as he was about to use the Omnitrix’s key to unlock more power for the Antitrix and managed to snatch it back from the bastard! Because! He! Is! Perfect!

Vilgax has still gotten what so far seems to be a net positive effect, but at least he doesn’t have the watch

He thinks he’s Jafar

Vilgax standing there monologuing about his own greatness and Kevin just calls him a doofus and launches at him as Bashmouth

Then straight to CrystalFist when caught to make vilgax let him go, he’s amazing.

Ben catches him as he plummets, fully armored up, it’s time for these boys to wreck some squid shit.

Vilgax just keeps fucking growing. We’ve only got like five minutes left in the movie, just stop.

Kevin just, no hesitation. He is going to fight a giant squid so help him god

Welp. They managed to land some blows.

The boys have been taken out, Team Tennyson is at Ben’s side. “Glitch is- is gone.” “What about Kevin?” “I don’t know, Vilgax hit him pretty hard.“

Phil. Phil what the fuck are you hiding? You are hiding something and so help me if it could’ve helped my boy earlier I will-

Kevin and Azmuth need to meet because Kevin needs to punt him.

Oh look, the frog-bitch is out of the Null Void and bothering the Incurseans. They don’t deserve this, they’re good people.

Oh look, Ben has unlocked Waybig. Fitting, I suppose.

It’s gonna be a curbstomp fight, there’s only a few minutes left and we still need to wrap this movie up. Hopefully confirm my son is alive.

I was right. Good fight, still very quick. And now we gotta deal with fucking Azmuth again.

And, shocker, Ben gets to keep the watch.

Okay, we have confirmation Kevin at least limped away. He was alive as of the end of this film.

11/11 thanks to quality Kevin content and Glitch finally earning my respect. I’m still serious about the Vilgax thing though- first person, a reboot drabble of their choosing.

#achi liveblogs #ben 10 2.os #ben 10 #ben 10 versus the universe

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-09-15

This caught me laaaate at night gosh I’m tired but I’m gonna get it outta the way so it won’t stick in my craw!  Already saw the first page, so it’s time for:

> CHAPTER 13. The Funeral

Church with chess symbols at the peaks and a Prospit/Derse or Hope/Rage split color theme on the stained glass windows.

JANE: Dearly beloved...

> (==>)

Trolls, humans, and papparazzi.  Oh, hm, this church is RATHER carapacian isn’t it?  Between the chess and the continuing Prospit-Derse themes, like how this corresponds to how they align in the incipisphere top-left to bottom-right if I recall:

(Minus the outlying orbs to the left and right for symmetry.)

That twisted pattern is interesting, and not quite a spirograph.  Is that gonna be important later?  If we’re going to get some sort of class chart later in the comic, it’d be easy for them to hint at the chart’s graphical structure subtly by dropping it places like here.

JANE: Ladies... JANE: Gentlemen... JANE: News outlets... JANE: And other valued members of the Human Nation State.

Technically true, but still odd to hear--  ...oh right, I forgot this was asshole dictator-wannabe Jane, too.

I read an interesting twitter thread recently about the intense psychological distinction between wanting to BE the best, and wanting to be TREATED like you’re the best.  Epilogues/HS^2 Jane is kind of written as a case study on the pitfalls of leaning on the latter instead of the former.

> (==>)

They brought Yiffy WITH them-!?  --Oh right.  The hostage exchange was supposed to happen here wasn’t it.

Yiffy definitely looks like a Harley-Lalonde daughter in this shot.

JANE: Gamzee Makara, High Court Jester, exalted saint of the purple veil, has left us to traverse that grand, gay carnival in the sky, where, I am told by various members of the clownly cloth, he will spend the rest of history, honking in grand tribute to the Mirthful Messiah.

SINGULAR???

Weird.  Is it because Alt!Callie “won” here?

Or is Jane just forgetting because she’s culturally used to monotheism (ironically) and is insensitive.

JANE: And my first memory of our Purple Prince, was his robust codpiece--

Wow.

> (==>)

JANE: --As he offered me his friendly support, along with the sacred blood of his brethren, the holy sacrament--

He STILL killed trolls??! (EDIT: No, a friend points out that she's talking about when she met him first in Act 6 and he tried selling bottles of troll blood to her. EDIT2: -which may be another inconsistency, since Vriska supposedly overwrote that post-retcon.)

> (==>)

It takes Jake a few seconds of puzzled eye contact before he catches exactly what it is Yiffany is tossing down. In his defense, he is distracted by his wife’s speech, which is doing the emotional equivalent of wringing him out like a wet towel, before using that towel to slap the sweaty buttocks of a large, odorous man. Even if he knows everything she’s saying is a load of horsefeathers, it does nothing for his composure to hear her heap praise on that smelly, homewrecking clown.

Bad things about Gamzee deserve to be said here, yes.

Jake wonders what she’ll say about him, at his own funeral.

Now those are some uncomfortable thoughts.

He narrows his eyes in Yiffany’s direction. She’s a lovely girl, really. He wishes he could have gotten to know her under better circumstances. He’d known she existed, of course--Jane had complained about her often enough--but they’d never had much chance to get acquainted. He rather believes her and Tavvy would have been fast friends.

Then again, perhaps it’s better that she never had much of a chance to get to know his family.

He lets go of the leash.

Yep, there’s a plan to set in motion that he’s probably already discussed with her privately.  Gotta unite this four-kid team after all.

> (==>)

Wait, are you ATTACKING?!?  --Of course you’re attacking.  You would even if the plan was something different, wouldn’t you.

JANE: And I know that at times like these it is easy to want to give in. JANE: To throw in the towel, and turn our faces away from the light of democracy and moral fortitude that we, the citizens of the human kingdom, are blessed with from birth. JANE: God knows I’ve had my own faith tested in the last few weeks.

Jesus Christ, what has she turned the place into, a fucking theocracy?

She sounds like the leader of some screwed-up, fundamentalist country!  Like the United States!

*rimshot*

JANE: As many of you know, I did not grow up with the same privileges that all of you enjoy.

Jesus.

JANE: I was born on proto-Earth, that half-finished dystopia mangled by the ravages of foolish leadership and endless war.

Jesus, she really IS a self-evident takedown of hypocritical entitled political figures.  With the bonuses having Jasprose explicitly ADDRESS said entitlement to make things even clearer cut.

JANE: And as for Gamzee, well, his upbringing was even worse. JANE: He was born to a violent and uncaring home, a lonely child with few natural gifts.

...Some natural gifts and status.

> (==>)

She’s just, shaking with fury here isn’t she?  And about to perform an impressive corpse-lob.

JANE: It would be simple to let this disgusting, vile, SHAMEFUL act of spiteful revenge turn us away from the blinding light of the sword of justice that hangs over us all--

This sentence seems suspicious so I’m quoting it to refer to later if I need to, but is probably just platitudes.

> (==>)

JANE: Poised

> (==>)

JANE: Trembling

Okay maybe the sword’s a dick, but what exactly is Yiffany doing??  I’m finding it difficult as usual to tell between some of these image transitions.

> (==>)

JANE: Ready to burst forth--

Bad PR to shock-collar a kid mid press junket.  (Very dicks description.)

> (==>)

Click.  (Did they swap the shock function with Jane’s necklace somehow, that’d be fun.)

JANE: I want to give up, at times. I understand your pain.

While shocking a kid?  GREAT PR.

> (==>)

JANE: I sympathize with your pain.

Wow, those horrified audience members.  She REALLY can’t even see herself anymore can she?  Not even hear herself.  And they’re making sure this is pointed out to EVERYONE watching.  They described this as in large part a PR campaign to defeat her, didn’t they?

> (==>)

Great furious businesswoman-villain look, that art.

JANE: But when that pain! Becomes too hard! To endure! JANE: Remember poor, lifeless Gamzee! Who suffered pain far worse than any of us could ever fathom! JANE: THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL!

Click click click.  This is a fun sequence.

> (==>)

DIRK: Dude, didn’t you lower the voltage on that shock collar? DIRK: Little Red isn’t looking so hot. JAKE: Yes of course i did but the damn doohickys got the kick of a donkey! JAKE: I couldnt remove it completely shed know i was the one who did it! DIRK: Well, if that supervillain cuntwaffle doesn’t stop, she’s going to kill her. Not really the best at hostage management, is she.

Decent plan.  (And of course Dirk would pull out the word cunt.)  When’s the cavalry coming?

> (==>)

JANE: But we cannot allow his memory to be in vain! JANE: For Gamzee Makara taught us that even the most loathsome degenerate can take their place in society. JANE: All they need is the right redemption arc - !

Trying to hammer home some of the Epilogue’s trolly-critical themes a little less bleakly, I take it.

I kind of like the violent vibration in ALL of these gifs in a row.  It makes the scene seem small, slow, teeth-clenching but still full of steady action, emphasizing the importance of the relatively small events from panel to panel while giving them the sense with the animation of them being [i]drawn out[/i] and tortuous instead of just “occurring”.  It feels that way to me, anyway.

> (==>)

If he got up alive here, that’d be hilarious.  (Presumably he’s been treated and done-up like a normal funeral body, not “dormant” and undecaying like a dead god-tier.)

> (==>)

CORPSE PUNT w/ CLEATS

> (==>)

That face is just.  I love that face.

> (==>)

SHE MAD

JANE: Young lady, I am just about at the end of my rope with you. JANE: Throw all the dog bowls you want at the walls of my warship. JANE: But don’t you dare act up in front of a JANE: Live JANE: Fucking JANE: Newsfeed! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

What did you expect to happen?  Do you expect to shout her down from this, Jane?

JANE: After everything I’ve done for you--paying for your education, helping your parents cover up your existence from the world! JANE: Just imagine what Rose and Jade would say if they could see you now, even dissidents can have a little decorum! JANE: Get down from there at once! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

But this is GAMZEE.  --I guess it’s seriously disrespectful to his followers, though.  Still.  If you wanted civility from her, a shock collar, leash, and food bowl wasn’t the way to go about it.

JANE: Don’t you threaten me, young lady. Not today! YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR

What is your PLAN even, Jane?  You’ve completely disregarded her.

JANE: There’s nowhere for you to go. My agents are swarming this church. Be reasonable, Yiffany. JANE: Ugh. JANE: Disgusting name. JANE: But that’s hardly your fault. You were always just a footnote. Your parents’ little prank. JANE: Honestly, that’s why I helped them all those years ago! I do love a good jape. JANE: But let’s be serious. JANE: You don’t matter. If you did, they would have come for you already.

Can all the press hear her being such an asshole?

Okay, stereotypically, their arrival should be the next couple panels:

> (==>)

Jake, do something useful like hoping harder.

> (==>)

And she knocks the remote away.  Excellent.

And she does. Seemingly at the end of her tolerance for insults toward her name, social status, and heritage, Yiffy performs an impressive backflip off the podium and down onto the church floor. One that, if it hadn’t been happening amidst a sea of other newsworthy events, would surely have ended up on someone’s instagram story within thirty seconds. She gives Gamzee’s corpse one last parting kick: a hard, proper kick that proves those cleats aren’t just for fashion. Although they are certainly also for fashion.

Good, good.

He vanishes into the seething crowd, and we are confident that we will never have to deal with this asshole ever again.

God damnit.

> (==>)

Jake watches this from a safe distance, poised on the edge of intervening to pull Yiffy out of there. But in the end he doesn’t have to. Instead he watches in admiration as she tears the place to utter shreds. An echoing sympathy swells inside of him as she rends apart the funeral flowers and punts Gamzee into the shrieking congregation. Here is a girl who felt the cold, indecent hand of fate wrapping around her, and instead of submitting to it and slowly sublimating down into morasse of boiled doormat, she slapped it away from her with a lively oh, no thank you.

All at once, Jake feels immense affection for his granddaughter. He hopes the two of them can make up for lost time.

Lessons belatedly learned, but learned nonetheless.

> (==>)

JANE: Enough of this. JANE: Seize her!

Kind of Red Queen of you.  (Are those stained glass windows in back of the frame about to burst?)

> (==>)

Yep.

The stained glass window shatters inward, obliterated to stardust. The war is knocking.

Even attacking a disgusting faith’s church is pretty bad form, though.

Tired and busy, seeya next upd8.  <3

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers

[transcendencism]

finished up taris on sennash so here’s those game notes! edited to be a bit more comprehensible but some of these notes are just left as is skjdflsf

The Endar Spire quest is disappointing because it could be any other ship and the quest would hardly be any different. I don’t even understand why they’re going into the Endar Spire for footage of the Sith warships when the Endar Spire went down BEFORE the bombardment that destroyed Taris. The only thing that connects this quest to the Endar Spire is the music that plays after you’ve gotten the data & the trooper tells you to go deliver it to the base. The whole thing just doesn’t really make any sense.

The rakghoul serum quest where you have the option of stealing the serum from infected pirates or getting the extra from Dynamet General gave me a bunch of thoughts about Sennash’s career as a combat medic. I think she started out on Taris helping out with the resettlement initiative and ... man, what a way to start your military career, that’s for damn sure. In this same quest, you go and get some rakghouls to bite the shit out of you and infect you and I love the idea of Sennash being fully down for that. like “FUCK YEAH SCIENCE!” also she’s got a “I’m unkillable” complex so .. yeah, that’s fitting.

AND GOD the conclusion of that quest where the doctor, Ianna Cel, asks you to sign some secrecy documents so the Republic can make money off the vaccine; if you tell her it isn’t right, she just makes a complete 180% without much more pushing which is ... okay? cool? Space capitalism sucks though, I hate it.

For the Trooper arc, when you go to rescue the convoy or whatever that got captured by Imperials, Sennash was Immediately like “don’t make fun of my girl >:(” when Ensign Tane started talking shit about Elara. Then the reveal that Elara is a former Imperial shook up Sennash a little because she hates the Empire, but got glossed over pretty quickly. She’s still a little upset about it but ... ya know.

OH MAN this planetary arc quest with Commander Gardit at Draay outpost. Man’s been buying BANTHA STEAKS and has a PERSONAL VEHICLE. Just .. we coulda had so many conversations about military corruption and shit but noooOOOOO we needed a WAR STORY. And the corruption in the military is always treated as a “few bad apples” bUT THAT’S NOT HOW THAT SHIT WORKS.

[Elara: Thorus is a mass murderer. A war criminal.] Everyone here is a war criminal honey he ain’t special.

Needles wants to turn the rakghouls into a weapon, huh? 🤔 kinda like Doctor Lokin…

Listen I love Elara and I think that killing Thorus is justified but … it’s not like I know 100% he did it. Elara could be making that shit up. And I’m pretty sure executing a war criminal without trial is a war crime in of itself, and Elara’s sneaky “ohhh there’s some interference so under this protocol I’m gonna stop the call” so she doesn’t have liability is so … ICK. Why couldn’t I take him prisoner??????? Knock him out, take his gun, and bring him in??? Hello????

One of the other planetary arc quests sends you to find a missing supply convoy, but turns out they decided to defect. Sennash chose to give them money for a ride off the planet, then when she got to the next base she told them the convoy died like they requested her to do (and so they wouldn’t try to track down deserters). Sennash is pretty fiercely loyal to the Republic & believes in her duty and all that ... but that’s a personal standard she has for herself, if it’s too much for other people, she doesn’t blame them. She doesn’t think anyone should be forced into doing this job, especially not on a hellhole like Taris. I really liked the defected trooper’s response to Sennash saying “you have a duty to the Republic”, which was “but what about it’s duty to me?” like ... damn. yeah.

Finished Taris, did the companion conversations I wanted to catch up on:

Aric: Oh boy … this is where Canon Jorgan and Headcanon Jorgan really start to diverge. I imagine Aric took the position on Ord Mantell again because he felt bad about being away from his family for so long, and wanted to be nearby to look after his moms. BUT WOW his line about wanting to prove his people have a place in the Republic … yeah, I imagine that fits in. Growing up seeing how Ord Mantell treated the Cathar … yeeeeeah. And I think Hyroh thought similarly, which is why he wanted to join the Jedi so bad, but he got pretty disillusioned with it while Aric thought he was still doing the right thing.

Elara: The contrast between Elara and Sennash is so funny and good. Like, they’re pretty similar but when it comes to how they do their jobs, it’s just interesting. Elara is very particular about how she does things, knows the regulations and codes and all that, and likes routine! Sennash is very much just .. go with the flow, figure it out, kinda just a little bit all over the place. And oh man … the conversation with Kalor. Sennash is still a bit squicked out by Elara’s former Imperial allegiance, but Elara’s proven herself that she IS loyal to the Republic which … helps, but the moment when Elara used a loophole in those regulations to not have any liability when Sennash executed Thorus was very … hm, for her. Because yeah Sen would’ve executed him anyway, but it made her feel … strange that Elara was willing to do that. Still, she’s a proud member of the Elara Dorne Defense Squad.

final notes: as i’ve said before, i’ve kind of thrown canon out of the window so while a lot of these events aren’t “canon” for Sennash, they provide a lot of insight into her character. really thinkin’ she started out on Taris, hopped around to some other planets, then eventually got transferred back to Taris again and met Elara. The two hit it off but Elara didn’t want to bring up her Imperial background so it was kinda secret for awhile. Sennash got mad that Elara didn’t tell her, but then she realized pretty quickly that if Elara had come right out of the gate with “I’m a former Imperial!” they never would’ve gotten to know each other because Sennash wouldn’t have given her a chance. Also--

#game notes #notes: sennash #oc: sennash

[wintersoldierland]

The Universe Within

James smiles in satisfaction as he looks out of the viewpoint, admiring the stars spread out in front of him. Almost 50 years of doing it and the views still take him by surprise and make him breathless. 

He can't believe how lucky he is. 

From the HYDRA'S attack dog to a general of an intergalactic army, of scientist and peacekeepers… James knows that he lucked out, that things worked out. 

He knows it every day when he arrives on the Bridge and sees his crew and the whole universe in front of them. He knows that probably nothing will ever compare. 

“General? I have news,” his Commander says, her tail lashing anxiously. 

Kait’aar always had an issue with keeping her emotions in check, but she's also always been efficient. She only becomes more and more efficient as the years come by. 

“Yeah?” he asks, straightening in his spot. 

“You asked to be notified whenever a Stone is being used,” she explains. James sits up straight. 

“Where?”

Infinity Stones are never a good thing. They're powerful and in the wrong hands, they can bring devastation to the whole universe. Bucky has been keeping track of them for years now, and he knows that a few of them are missing. 

Now it seems like they're back. 

“Earth, sir,” Kait’aar says, voice grave. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. His Commander only watches in silence, more than aware of what's happening. “Set the course to Terra, avoid all and any hypersphere tunnels, use jumps. I want this quiet,” James orders quickly, standing up. 

“Yes, sir.”

With that, he's left alone in his office and the stars suddenly look too bright. 

“You are worried,” comes the calm voice of HAL.

James snorts. “Yeah, thanks, Einstein. I'm glad to know that one of the universe’s most advanced AI is so observant.”

HAL’s silence is actually very telling. James sighs deeply and leans against the viewport. 

“The Stones bring nothing but pain and destruction, no matter in whose hands,” he finally says. “Earth isn’t ready for any of that. I’m not even talking about the Stones, but about who will follow them. Any alien civilisation, anyone advanced enough…”

He falls silent and stares out into the universe again. He knows more than anyone just how dangerous those people can be, how easy it is to die out there. He knows the power behind some of the planets, the destruction some leaders can bring. He knows that Earth isn’t ready.

“They dodged a bullet with the whole Skrull/Kree thing, and only because Carol was there,” James mutters, smiling softly. Carol is definitely one of the kind. One of the strongest people he knows, and one hell of a friend. “She’s not there right now, she’s on the other side of the universe, and my home is basically helpless!”

“I suspect that Fury did find people to protect Earth, after Colonel Danvers left,” HAL observes calmly.

“Yeah… But how good they are?” James asks, not really expecting an answer. HAL knows better than to say anything now. “How will they hold against a threat this massive? Do they even know the scale of things?”

“Probably not,” HAL says dryly. “That’s why we’re on our way there.”

Bucky smirks and rolls his shoulders. “Damn right,” he says firmly. “We’re good at the whole saving planets shit, we can do it.”

“You also miss home.”

“Home is where the heart is, baby boy,” James laughs. The stars shine very brightly today. “And my heart is right there, amongst the stars.”

It still is nice to see Earth come into existence once again when Event Horizon arrives close enough. James stares straight at it, standing on the Bridge, and his crew works tirelessly to keep everything up to date. He can see the giant ships waiting just beyond what’s visible from the surface, can see the amount of sheer power that’s about to be brought onto his home.

He’s not happy about it.

“Keep monitoring,” he orders sharply. “If they try something, close the tunnels and keep them there. Unload everything you have if they fire.”

His crew nods and HAL pulls up a communication channel with the rest of Federation Generals. His friends, also stationed on warships.

“I may need help,” James says once they come into view. “I have a bad feeling about what’s happening on Earth and I need backup probably.”

“Federation won’t allow it,” Pho’el says grimly.

James allows himself a dark smile. “I’m not asking for permission. I’m saying that I need help from my friends.”

“See you on Terra,” Chia says and everything goes dark. James loves his friends so much.

“Good luck, sir,” Kait’aar suddenly speaks up. James turns around and smiles at his crew, people who he would die for, no questions asked. His family.

“Thanks,” he replies dryly, walking out. “You have the comm.”

James walks to his ship, Hadron, in silence, his armour constructing around him. HAL comes alive in front of his eyes as the mask slips into place and everything lights up blue. “Let’s do it,” he mutters, sliding into the pilot seat.

Hadron leaves Event Horizon as a streak of speed, entering Earth’s atmosphere easily, and James pulls up the first news channel that comes alive. New York is under attack and he can vaguely see some heroes dressed in weird suits. At least there's some defence.

“The Stone’s energy is pointing towards what’s called Stark Tower,” HAL announces, pulling up maps. James nods.

“Anyone we know?”

“Looks like Loki is already there.”

James only snarls. Looks like Loki did not actually die, not that it’s surprising, but that man is nothing but trouble. Chaos follows whenever its god goes.

Hadron remains invisible when he enters the battle, expertly avoiding any stray bullets, and he lands on the roof of where the issue is. Looks like Thor is already handling Loki, so James looks around and then lights up.

Energy surges through his veins and he allows himself to raise into the air, throwing himself into the battle. HAL is a constant voice in his ear, just as always, and together they clear what they can, catching any big pieces that threaten to crush civilians. James allows the battle to light up his core, boiling in his heart.

“Sir, there’s a projectile heading towards our location,” HAL suddenly says, pointing towards a bomb that’s flying straight at New York.

“Well, Mr Fury, Carol will be disappointed,” James mutters and then surges after it. 

A guy in gold and red suits gets to it first, and James watches as he takes the bomb into the portal, ready to face death.

“Oh hell no,” he snarls and follows.

It’s easy to destroy everything in his path, shooting at whatever comes close, clearing the air around him as he chases the stupid brave human into the portal.

“Sir, they’re ready to fire,” Kait’aar speaks up, voice grim.

James looks at the insane human above him, carrying the bomb into space and smirks. “Full power. Fire on my command.”

With that, he finally catches up with the brave human, grabs the bomb with one arm and turns to face him. The light in the suit is slowly dying down and HAL informs him that life support is failing, so James reaches out with his free hand and allows the nanites to flow into the other amour.

“My turn to be the hero, doll,” James laughs and launches the bomb at the ship towering over them. “Fire.”

Together, they watch as the ships go up in flames, surrounded by Federation warships, exploding in fury of colours. James lets the warmth wash over him and lazily salutes at Event Horizon.

The red man is watching him in silence, amour lighting up with James’s own nanites, keeping him alive and safe.

“Ready to go home now?” he asks lightly through the channel the nanites created.

“Sure,” the man replies, voice scratchy and rough, sending a shiver down James’s spine. “After you tell me who the hell are you!”

James laughs and glances down at the closing portal. “Later,” he winks and launches himself at the human.

They fall together, tendrils of power running around them until they pass through the portal. There, James grabs the human in a bride carry and sets them down slowly in the circle of heroes.

The human’s mask falls open and James stares down at brown eyes alight with the power of thousand suns. He swallows and smiles shakily, still keeping the human close.

If his heart is among the stars, it’s no wonder he feels it stir at the sight of the universe in the man’s eyes. 

Part 2

#winteriron #bucky barnes #tony stark #my writing #space au #space bucky au #ive been wanting to write it for weeks #so here you go #have this weird garbage #i have 0 idea wtf is this #honest #i sat down and this is what i came up with #expect more versions soon

[newcaptainofsquad9]

Home With You Again~Carol Danvers x Maria Rambeau-Part 1 (Avengers Endgame) Spoiler Warning!

Paring: Carol Danvers x Maria Rambeau, Platonic! Carol Danvers x Talos, Platonic! Carol Danvers x Peter Parker, Platonic! Carol Danvers x Nick Fury

Summary: (SPOILER WARNING) After Carol returns to Earth she finds out that both Maria and Monica were lost in the snap. She and the other Avengers successfully kill Thanos, but Carol goes overboard in a fit of rage. She manages to calm down, going into space to help out those who were affected by the snap. She now helps planets whenever she can, while drowning herself in her own sorrows and self pity. Abruptly, the Avengers need her help with Thanos from another timeline and she realizes that they reversed the snap, giving her a chance to see her lover and daughter again. 

Word Count: 1,923

Writer’s Note: Lot’s of angst, a sad Carol but there will be fluff too :). It’s a bit disjointed, but we all needed this in Endgame people I hope I delivered. 

Carol glances down at the grass as she watches Tony and Pepper embrace. She would have flown through the galaxy, battling the stars, Kree and rogues all over again just to take Maria in her arms. But, all she came home to was dust, ash and a burnt pan where she assumed Maria was cooking. Tears escaped her, along with the glow of her hands that can with the frustration and anger she felt. She grabbed Maria’s cellphone, calling Monica, yet she didn’t answer. Her boyfriend, Tom picked up, frantic about Monica crumbling to dust in front of him. Carol let the anger consume her wholly, firing a photon blast through the ceiling of Maria’s kitchen before leaping into the air with a bone curdling scream. 

...

“You didn’t have me,” Carol says to the Avengers numbly. 

“Look, new girl,” Rhodey starts, “we’re all about that superhero life but what-”

Carol cut him off.

“You think I wanted to be out there! Away from my family while they disappeared? I’m getting that son of a bitch whether you’re with me or not.”

Steve’s jaw tightens but he nods.

“She’s right, let’s get the son of a bitch,” he agreed. 

...

They caught Thanos alone. He was cooking something when Carol busted through his hut. All fire, hardly waiting for the avengers to catch up with her. A few photon blasts knocked him to the floor and Carol was on him again, arms firmly around his neck. Steve, Rhodey, Natasha, and Thor arrive. 

“Where are the stones?” Steve asked.

Carol’s grip on Thanos tightened, nearly strangling him to death.

“Answer. Him,” she growled. 

“Gone- I-I destroyed them,” Thanos said, “i-if y-you’re here now then, I was successful-”

“Damnit!” Carol roared.

It happened quickly. Thor tried to rush in first, eyes glowing blue with the lightning of Stormbreaker around him. Carol’s move was swift, snapping Thanos’ neck before Thor could reach. She let the titan’s lifeless body drop, as Thor chopped off his head. 

“The fuck was that!” Rhodey shouted.

“He’s better that way,” Carol said bluntly, “I avenged our family, friends, half of the world.”

“Carol,” Steve started.

Carol didn’t listen as she flew back into the air.

...

Talos found Carol in a bar on planet Krylor, drowning herself in the sorrows of whatever fine drinks she could get her hands on. He cringed when he found her, hunched over the bar with a friend, in silver armor, Brunnhilde. 

“To the new Queen of New Asguard!” Carol beams as she downs her drink in one gulp. 

Brunnhilde gives Captain Marvel a small smile. 

“I’m worried about him,” she says, “all he does is drink and play-- what are those things you mortals use to?”

“Video Games,” Carol bellows.

She finally notices Talos glaring at her. 

“If you needed me you could have--”

“Paged you. You’re always in between planets, even got a new hair cut,” Talos says as he sits next to Carol.

Carol runs a quick hand through her now short hair. 

“I had that hair for over twenty five years, it got in the way and I needed a change,” she says. 

“I like it,” Talos says before looking to Brunnhilde, “you’re in company of a Queen, eh?”

Carol nods, “Talos, Brunnhilde. My best friend, saved him back in ‘95. Brunnhilde, Queen of New Asguard, met her back--”

Carol cut herself off, staring down at the bar. 

“Five years ago,” she whispers.

Talos glares between the two women. Brunnhilde takes the hint and rises from the bar. 

“Well, New Asguard isn’t going to govern itself,” she says.

Before Brunnhilde leaves she puts a hand on Talos’ shoulder. 

“Good luck.”

Talos gives her a sharp nod before stalking out. 

“Seriously, is everyone all right?” Carol asks. 

“We’re hanging in there Carol, better than we were a few years ago. Thanks to you,” Talos says.

Carol shrugs.

“It’s all I can do now. Krylor still needs supplies-- I’m so close to finding more harvests for them. I need to.”

She rises, but Talos stops her.

“Carol. Breathe,” he instructs. 

Carol gives him a hard look and sits back down, twirling the drink in her cup around. 

“You lied you know,” he says, “I’m not your best friend.”

Carol scoffs, “just take the complement.”

“I think you know where I’m getting at,” he banters, “remember when I went through that head of yours? Fogged up memories of flying aircrafts, cart racing and long karaoke nights with--”

“Don’t,” Carol warns, cutting Talos off. 

Talos purses his lips.

“You’re gonna have to talk about her eventually,” he suggests, “my wife and daughter miss them too-”

“Talos,” Carol says, voice teetering on the edge of cracking, “Please all I can think about is--” 

Carol cuts herself off with a silent sob. She puts a hand on her face and exhales.

“Say it, tell me,” Talos whispers. 

Carol chuckles, wiping her damp and red eyes.

“Why are you making me do this?” she asks.

Talos’ eyes soften as he squeezes Carol’s hand.

“You may be the strongest I’ve ever known Carol, but you’re still human. Still flesh and bone, you don’t need to hold your emotions in anymore. I thought you got Yon-Rogg out of your head already?”

“I thought I did, but I could never stop thinking about them. I loved Maria, fuck I still do but--”

Carol cut herself off again.

“Go on,” Talos urges, “what are you thinking?”

“I have this dream of seeing them again,” Carol reflects, “God, Lieutenant Trouble’s really grown now, I didn’t even get to formally meet her boyfriend yet-- and Maria-- I just want her in my arms again. I want to be home with her again.” 

“Will you ever go back?” Talos asks, “to Earth, I mean just as a temporary stay?”

Carol shakes her head.

“I doubt that Talos, the Avengers have Earth covered and I have the rest of the galaxy there’s no need to--”

Carol gets cut off by the beeping of her phone, Natasha lent her one when she last visited Earth. Her eyes widened as she took it out. 

“I have to get to Earth, now,” she says.

Talos is up with her. 

“Be careful, Carol,” he says.

She doesn’t need it, they both know that. But, Carol accepts it anyway and embraces Talos tightly.

“Thank you, Talos.”

...

Carol went binary in a millisecond while crashing through Thanos’ warships. She surveyed the battlefield, looking for this Thanos from another timeline. 

“Danvers, we could use an assist,” Steve says. 

Carol nods, swooping down and spotting Spiderman, clutching onto the gauntlet for dear life. 

“Hi there, I-I’m Peter Parker,” he croaks.

Carol’s eyes softened for a moment. Here was this kid in the middle of a battlefield, bruised and afraid. God, he reminded her of Monica when she fell off of her bike years ago. 

“Hey Peter Parker, got something for me?” she asks.

Peter gets up and hands the gauntlet off to Carol, eyeing her in a mixture of admiration and concern. 

“um, uh ms--what’s your name?”

Carol grinned at him as she took the gauntlet and tucked it under her arm.

“Captain Marvel,” She declares.

Peter frowns, “ah, of course you used the fake name-- Cap, how are you gonna get through that alone?”

Carol turns toward the battle field, all of Thanos’ army waiting and Thanos himself. 

“Well, Peter--”

“She’s got help,” a voice says.

Carol turns as the other heroines joined her. 

“Go ahead, we’ve got your back,” Okoye says.

Carol nods and flies forward, eyes glows as she pushes through. 

Thanos collides with her, the gauntlet flying from her grip as Carol recovers slightly. The titan goes for it, but she stops him, gripping his arms tightly in an act to subdue him. Thanos cringes and headbutts her. Carol doesn’t flinch before aiming to knock Thanos across the field. 

“Captain Marvel look ou--”

Peter’s plea didn’t get to Carol in time as Thanos peeled the power stone from his gauntlet, using it against her.

...

“Vel--Captain Marvel,” Peter pleas, shaking Carol helplessly.

Carol hops up, taking notice of Peter. His eyes were red, and face tear stained. 

“Parker, what happened,” Carol demanded, softly, yet firmly.

“M-Mr Stark he-- he used the stones h-he’s--”

Carol’s face grew white with shock and pain. Her fists clenched. She could have saved Stark again, but she was reckless. Again she couldn’t keep the ones she cared for safe. She watches Peter break down in sobs. She’s seen this before. Monica always ran to her while growing up, searching for her mother’s comfort. She does the only think she knows how to do in this situation. She brought Peter into her arms, rubbing his back and soothing him as he cried into her chest.

...

Carol watched from Stark’s porch as the eulogy ended. She kept her hands clasped together to keep them from trembling. 

“D-Don’t lie to me, Fury,” she growled.

Nick walked over to her.

“I’m here aren’t I,” he said in a matter of fact fashion, “everybody Thanos snapped from existence has returned.”

Carol’s eyes glossed as the tears rose up again. She put her fist against her mouth to keep her composure.

“F-Fury--”

“Go see her,” he said, “I’m sure she’d want some explaining, especially with that haircut.”

Carol laughs and wipes her tears.

“Thank you, Fury,” she said. 

Nick shrugged and gasped when Carol pulled him into her arms. He returned it fully. 

“Anytime Avenger, we could road trip for old times--” 

Carol shot up into the air.

“Sorry Fury, but I’ve been dreaming of this moment for five years,” Carol shouted before zipping off. 

...

Carol landed awkwardly, her black suit a little scorched and tattered from the trip, but she didn’t care. Maria’s house was in fine condition, even the hole Carol blew in the roof five years prior was gone. The door swung open and there she was, Maria Rambeau. Her fellow pilot, partner, best friend, lover. Her home. 

“C-Carol-- oh God--” Maria cried.

Carol ran up to her, taking the woman up into her arms in a warm embrace.

“I-It’s you, I missed your hugs,” Carol whispered into Maria’s neck.

“Carol, I-- I thought you were--”

Maria broke down as Carol pulled back to see her face. Her hair got longer, now coming down past her neck. Carol admired the muscle in her lover’s arms as well, noticing how tight she held on. She almost came to tears too, but she had to be strong now. For the both of them. 

“I’m here now,” she declared, “and I won’t leave and let anything like that happened again.”

Maria put on a weak smile and that was all it took for Carol to kiss her. Her hands found themselves around Maria’s waist, while Maria ran her hands through Carol’s now short hair. 

Maria pulled back breathlessly and gazed fondly into Carol’s eyes.

“Haircut?”

Carol chuckled, “Do you like it?”

Maria touched Carol’s cheek and gave it a quick once over. 

“I do, but it’s going to take some getting used to,” Maria said before betting her lip. 

Carol caught the hint and slyly grinned.

“Oh, I see,” she said before capturing Maria’s lips again.

The kiss grew more heated as Carol’s hand went to Maria’s thigh and Maria’s went to Carol’s chest.

“C-Carol, Carol, baby--look at me,” Maria said.

Carol pulled away, eyes screwed shut before opening them again. 

“I-I need you,” Carol whispered.

“We’ve got time, OK?”

Carol nodded and threw her arms around Maria again. 

#endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #avengers endgame #Captain Marvel #Carol Danvers #maria rambeau #carol x maria #dambeau #Brie Larson #lashana lynch #valkyrie #brunnhilde #talos #avengers #nick fury #Marvel Comics #marvel cinematic universe #mcu imagines #peter parker #captain marvel spoilers #carol danvers x maria rambeau #fix it fic #endgame fix it #endgame fanfic

[bardicbeetle]

Jenna goes on a dw rant undercut because the Master

Spoilers maybe?

AIGHT

I love the Master as a character.

They’re just fucking amazing.

Delgado?  Great.  Suave, Moriarty-type, murder-my-childhood-friend-with-an-evil-flower, summon demons?  Get concerned when almost murdering the doctor for real?  “My Dear Doctor” Amazing.  A wonderful time lord.

Crispy?  Gets things done, finds a body, creeps out the fourth doctor (no easy feat), murders Nyssa’s dad (sorry nyssa).  Short lived but neeto.

Ainley???  A masterpiece, constant mocking?  Even less subtle than Delgado?  “My dear” even more frequently?  The VELVET SUIT.  UGH.  Brilliant.  A bit unhinged at times, but still, the mind is there, the plan is there.

Roberts?  Drama queen.  But damn good at it.  Takes the feeling of the TL high council and turns it up to 11 just to screw with the Doctor and make his amnesiac life harder.  Maybe trying a little too hard to kill him?  But he executed and so he’s salty I get it, still a good time.

Jacobi?  Sweet, deceptive, only here for a hot second but DAMN did he make an impression.

Simm (Part 1) unhinged?  Got a plan?  Cold, calculating, definitely mad, but a bit contained still.  Having the time of his many lives.  Murdering the human race with the human race!  Mobilizing the planet into a warship?  Using Jack Harkness as a living breathing stress ball?  Absolutely batshit murder child but I love.

Simm (Part 2) Oh dear heart you are totally off the handle now.  Calling out for help?  Trying to maintain your pride despite being thrown curve after curve of terrible.  Oh look your whole madness thing was just a ploy because the high council played you for a fool.  Siding with the doctor now, but only because you’re afraid.  Maybe you both just want your friend back.

(Silence for the 11th era)

MISSY!

Sorry, 

Gomez?  (part 1) Brilliant, fully accepting her evil mary poppins role and I live for it.  She’s less on the end of batshit murder child (as simm was) but there is still a lingering touch of madness.  HOWEVER, she’s trying for something, and while that something is... unclear, she’s great at getting the Doctor to follow along with every scheme she throws (harkening back to an older time).  

Gomez!  (Part 2) Flowing from murder madness into tragedy again, but there’s a little more hope this time?  There is no pressing threat of time itself ending.  Slowly returning to friendship?  I beg your pardon?  This almost-wholesomeness?  This NEARLY WONDERFUL?  I live for it.

Tying into Simm (part 3) soooo, we just gonna ignore the fact that EoT happened?  Just to make Simm evil?  Just to manufacture some bullshit?  Is that really what we’re doing?

Like I’m here for the two getting along, paradoxes aside, because Simm had some development at the end that could make him actually you know, not totally hostile to the doctor?

But yeah sure lets just ignore that shit and have him betray Missy at the last moment over some garbage.

And Missy’s death is.

Gods and monsters it hurts and it hits and she was just, left there, i can’t.

UGH.

SO.

I’m a bit angry.

Granted we’ve only had this Master for a few moments.

BUT, he seems very very early Simm.  He’s vibrant and comic and over the top in his movement and murder and I am... Apprehensive.

I do not trust Chibnall to make good on this.

I do not like the appearance of having thrown out not just Simm’s but Missy’s development as well.

Yes the Master will always be an antagonist, but there are ways to make that so without going back on (hello literal centuries of) what was built up in the past few seasons.

Having been part of the RP community for DW for so long I’m maybe a little skewed, having seen the Master done so well by people who are... not the show writers.  But not rolling back on development just seems like common fucking sense.

Make them a man again, sure, but don’t take away what they worked so hard to build up.  Missy was going to side with 12.  She wanted to move away from pure enemy territory.  She was succeeding at that.

I’d be beyond happy to take steps backwards but you MUST go further than Simm, you must go further than Roberts, you have to take it to the roots, you have to take from the fact that these were friends and partners who went in opposite directions.  These were people torn apart by differing views (time travel isn’t bonsai) and by war and by both of them being used by their race for things they didn’t want.  

There is room to grow closer again, there is room to be friendly, there is room to move past the “Hey I’m going to kill a bunch of people and betray you, buh-byeeeee”

Anyways.

I have a lot of feelings.

I adore the Master, and will always.  I just hope the writing doesn’t fuck them over yet again.

#dw spoilers #i have a lot of feelings about the master #they are my megalomaniacle murder child and I will never shut up about them #larkspur will write later

[gyromitra-esculenta]

OKAY. Buckle up. I got the word file open. For the fantasy space opera. I’ll promise I’ll paste 90% of what makes me go ‘what the yeeted ham?’. I don’t even remember if I ever posted those.

*

“You know, old man, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, if they got a ship with seventy-sixth in its name, they not a crew with a gleaming track record, yeah?”

*

They could even get on a liner flight and be done with this shit trip in two days, not in fucking two weeks. On a ship that doesn’t look like there’s much keeping it together, and is obviously the seventy-sixth of its name.

*

Like ‘it just happened one day’ he blew up a Deadlock shipyard, shot up and grenaded whole regiment of grunts, meleed to death their three psykers, and then dragged him screaming and kicking in the cuffs in his one old man army fashion.

*

“So, uh, you bringing ordnance abroad?” This is gold, Jesse thinks, when Jack rolls his eyes, and points to the rifle at his back, a fucking bitchass piece of a gun that’s almost as long as danu is high.

“Duh? No, that’s my flute, you fucking moron,” he spats out. “But I use it as a blunt weapon.”

*

“You might have been onto something with the seventy sixth in the name,” Jack sighs, feeling the coming headache, as the lift surges upwards.

“Told you so, old man.”

Danu shows him the most universal pangalactic gesture.

*

It’s only two days into the flight that Jack lights his cigarette on entertainment deck just as another ship emerges outside the hull of Murderous Rupert the Seventy-Sixth. His eyes go wide, because he knows that ship and knows they are royally fucked sideways.

*

“There will be serious shit going down very soon, we better get out of the way, and I mean it. Or they will just vaporize us.”

“That bad?”

“Capital warship bad.”

*

Jack hopes that the merry band that flies the Murderous Rupert the Seventy Sixth knows what’s best for them, and just rolls over on their back and starts whimpering for mercy.

*

“No. Absolutely bad idea. Don’t even try, if it’s not his armor, it will be his boyfriend, if neither of them, karma itself will get you.”

“You being stupid or what? He’s unarmed.” The bane of his life whines.

*

“Can’t find a ship that likes me enough not to try to murder me after a flight.”

“That was only once, Jack, and you took Heart on Tara. Lived to tell the tale. And you are not even interfaced, to boot.”

“Well, I died anyway.”

“Yeah, well, I died twice. “

*

Right. Sure as hell. That had to be a joke, because old man wouldn’t spend a day in the military. He spent his days shooting at the military. And gangs. And Talon. And people that might have slightly displeased him. And inanimate objects. Well, Jesse concludes, the old man shoots at everything and anything, if the fancy hits him. Okay, maybe he was in the military once.

*

“Worse, he has karma. Trip him and the next thing you know you walk face first into closing doors. Doesn’t work only on one guy he’s fucking on and off.”

“Oh, for fucks sake, leave Carol out of this.”

“So the off is the state right now.” Jack laughs at the same time as Jesse asks.

“You’re fucking a guy who’s name is Carol?”

*

When they make it to their cabin, Jack groans at the girl clutching sheets to her breast.

“Fuck, Jesse, does it always have to be my bed?”

“Someone has to be having sex in it sometimes. You’re either too old, or celibate,” Jesse snaps at him, while smiling apologetically at the woman. “Jerking off don’t count as sex.”

*

“We just got him on Knight training and they got their little fucking poisoned claws in him.”

“Man, you got problems.” Jesse sums it up.

“I’m upfront with my problems.”

“Any chance they go by the name of Carol, eh?”

*

“Well, if he lets you on one of those ops, you know he doesn’t want to see your fucking face no more.”

“I figure, but he won’t even talk to me now.”

“Jesse, first lesson,” Jack raises the bottle to him, and Jesse sips his own drink. “Alpha Zero has two fucking commanders, and they are not even on speaking terms right now.”

“That seems like a very inefficient way of running the crew. Reckon, there were those Los Muertos once that blew themselves up before we even got there, yeah? Not on speaking terms either.” Jesse grins. They were just casing the joint when it literally went up in flames, and old man literally cackled when he got a wind of what was going on there, sat down, popped a beer and watched the infighting, pausing only to shoot some poor bastard himself. “Don’t know about the fucking, though.”

*

“We had to drop them on a dead planet to let them sort their fucking lover’s quarrel. Was a bad move because apparently that was a fucking foreplay, and hey, we still have everything on the record.” Old man only groans and takes another swig. “But, hey, you both got one upped, Shimadas flattened two outposts and brought down a cruiser during their familial disputes.”

*

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jesse stops them. “You said ‘lover’s quarrel’, you mean he,” points at Jack, who raises his eyes to heavens, “had someone, anyone? I thought he was kinda asexual always.”

“They had their own callsign, it was ‘those two motherfuckers’. There were times you were afraid to open even a frigging cupboard.”

“All perfidious lies.” Jack answers, but there is a weak, wistful smile tugging at his lips that makes Jesse feel slightly bad as old man drinks again. The commander suddenly seems rather willing to drop the subject too.

*

“You punched a god?”

“Eh, it just happened one day.”

“Does everything ‘just happens one day’ to you, old man?”

*

The only thing he manages to notice before there is a fist in his face is an eyepatch.

“Sorry, kid, I thought you were someone else,” the woman says as she steps over him, and goddamn, it seems like it is a new trend forming, people stepping over him.

“Wait, I can e…” Another meaty thud and as he glances over from his (un)comfortable place on the floor, old man hits the wall and then slides down, blood dripping already from a broken lip. She does have a nasty right hook, Jesse concedes.

*

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Ana comes behind them like a fucking shadow and throws her arms over their shoulders. Jesse almost jumps out of his skin, and that certainly ain’t the fear of her right hook speaking, no sir. She ain’t anything to be afraid of, she just packs a mean punch. That’s what Jesse tells himself. Okay, fuck it, the woman kind of terrifies him.

*

Jesse laughs, because to imagine the old man fucking is bizarre in itself, and then, hate-fucking, it implies a show of emotion other than mild annoyance, disappointment or acknowledgement.

“I really love how everyone wants to discuss my sex life,” Jack does sound irritated, but a brief incline of his head says it all to Jesse.

“The fact that you have got none, old man?”

*

“Wait until you see all of her tricks. She’s an active with focus on defense and support, but the things she can do, fucking beautiful.” Ana scoffs. “I wasn’t talking about your daughter, incidentally, so fuck off.”

“Oh, so you don’t think my daughter is beautiful?”

*

“Wowza, old man, when you were younger, you certainly were a catch. I banged chicks with uglier mugs than yours there,” Jesse points at the picture and what comes out of his mouth is so bizarre Jack can’t help, but laugh, strained yet truthful. He’s just tired now, the tension leaving his shoulders. There will be time for other goodbyes.

“I’m… intimately aware of the fact, Jesse, since more than once it took place in my bed.”

“You jealous, that’s all.” The pest pulls himself a chair and sits down, pointing again. “That him?”

*

“Like, hell, it doesn’t,” he gives the little push old man needs to sleep again. He is past being overwhelmed and now it all seems pretty natural. Or neutral. But the big question is… “Like, fuck, what do I do with being second to the imperial throne?”

*

“God damn it, seriously, I don’t want to think about spacetime fuckery that’s involved with them both. The worst thing is they still fuck around with themselves, and I really, really, really would like to avoid fucking Raven playing Death in infirmary to scare the shit out of Gerver again. Then the Shimadas happen, and the older one just falls down to his knees immediately and starts praying. The younger joins in, and the shit is awkward for all present, I think even Raven got uncomfortable, and that fucker is like nothing sticks to me ever usually, because he goes like ‘I was just kidding’, and poofs away.”

*

“You know what he’s talking about?” Jesse looks completely lost at Jack.

“Pretty much. Welcome to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy that just happens to be the strongest arm of Federation’s military. Every day here is straight from holovid novellas your ex-girlfriends watch, Days of our Lives, Alpha Zero edition.”

#sometimes i write #notes #r76 #what the yeet is this i'm legit crying here what the fuck had i been taking when writing this

[theamazingcaptdeadpool]

Sinday Meme for Characters Who Share a Brain

The original meme can be found here: x Characters: Wade Wilson (@theamazingcaptdeadpool), Frank Castle (@mementomorimthrfckr) and Ajax (@cantfeelsht) Warning: An abundance of words, massive TMI, cursing duh, threats double duh, Any complaints may be directed at our lawyer; @hellsainted

Frank scoffed as Wade had spent the last three minutes trying to figure out a title, brainstorming no pun intended with himself – and the result he landed on you already read. “That sounds terrible, Wade.” he grumbled and sipped his coffee. A sort of bribe to get him to partake in the thing. “You come up with a better one then, Skulls, and we’ll use that.” Wade fired back, thankful that Frank wasn’t known for his creativity. “What was wrong with the original title?” Ajax wanted to know and crossed his arms. He was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, watching the other two with what one could describe as ‘calm suspiciousness’. “It was too long.” Wade complained. “Not catchy. And we’re replying as ourselves. The original title suggested that the co-pilot do it for us. Or arms dealer. Or whatever the hell you call her.” he explained, because he could see Frank straining as he tried to work it out. Be nice Wade. I’m always nice.  “Why don’t we just get this over with.” Ajax’s stare moved from Frank to Wade. His former subject was the most keen on this, after all – surely he would kick it off.  “Best idea you’ve had, Francis.” Wade murmured as he counted the questions of the meme. “Alright, there are twenty questions. Let the sinning commence!” he clapped his hands and rubbed his palms eagerly. 

“Jesus,” Frank exclaimed and leaned over the table, snatching the laptop from the merc with a dirty imagination mouth. “I’ll read these.” He glowered at Wade who raised his hands in defeat. There was no point in challenging the Punisher this early in the game.   “What muse needs the most attention on sinday?” Frank read and for some reason found himself looking glumly up at Ajax who shook his head.  “Wade it is then.” It wasn’t that Frank wouldn’t mind the attention… he just wouldn’t actively seek it.   “Yeah, that’s a no brainer.” Wade murmured, he had somehow produced whiteboard signs and written “Me!” on one side and “Not me!” on the other. What? I came prepared. I always do. Yes, that is me being suggestive. He gave one to Ajax who reluctantly accepted.  “Just making it easier for us.” He explained, surprisingly caring.  “Whatever it takes to shut you up,” Ajax looked at both sides to make sure he hadn’t written anything funny on his. 

“Easy, Francis,” Wade began only to be interrupted by Frank who read the next question loudly. “Which muse usually stays silent on sinday?” Frank sniffed. He hadn’t partaken in any sindays, yet. “I’m not it.” Wade said quickly. “I love me some sinday. Actually every day is sinday in my book. Doesn’t always have to be sex. Severe procrastination. Excess eating. Pillows of blow…” “You ever hear of TMI?” Frank put the laptop down on the table with more force than he intended.

  Wade wiped one of the sides of his sign clear and wrote “NO!” only to hold it up for Frank to see. None of them had noticed how Ajax was holding up his own sign reading “Me!” and it took all his effort not to wack Wade in the back of the head with it. “Let’s move on.” Ajax shot in, before Wade could start one of his endless rambles. Frank glared at Wade like a teacher glare at the kid in class that won’t ever stay silent – that they’re afraid to take their eyes off because they know they’ll cause trouble. “Share some headcanons about your muses’ sexual and/or romantic orientation… You want to go first, Ajax?” Frank offered without looking at him. “Francis.” Wade corrected him. “Can’t feel. He can’t get it up – and can’t get it off.” Ajax closed his eyes, his jaw tense. “Wade is right.” he murmured. “I’m asexual. Except for specific muses. That has to be talked over in detail.” “Contracts has to be signed. Very Christian Grey. Wouldn’t play with him.” Wade turned towards the room and whispered to no one. Well, at least none that Frank and Ajax were aware of. They shared a moment of confusion, waiting for something to happen – someone to reply. As the silence bordered awkward Frank nodded and continued with the survey; “I’m bi with a preference towards women, but I’m not really looking for anything.” His voice was low. He wet his lips and averted his eyes, bouncing his foot impatiently. 

“I’m pan – the comics has me paired up with women and Spiderman. Over here, meaning Tumblr, I have a preference towards men.” Wade stated the obvious. Frank drew a breath to read the next question, but then Wade continued; “Men with metal arms. Men that are Avengers. Men that’s purple… Is that even a man?” “You done?” Frank wanted to know. They’d missed how Wade had fixed the other side of his sign – and was now holding up a “YES!”. “What are your favourite ship for your muses?” Frank was visibly confused by the question.   “For me it’s the Millenium Falcon,” Wade answered – hoping it would make it easier for the not so shockingly thick marine. “Oh, and I love my warship.” “I don’t ship.” Ajax shrugged. He saw no need to. “Cablepool, Winterpool, Cappool, Hawkpool – the one with Colossus, I forgot its name…” Wade counted on his fingers. “Thunderpool is kinda cute.” “You any idea what he’s on about?” Frank turned towards Ajax. “You don’t want to know, mate.” Ajax said with a sigh. “It’s a question about who you see yourself with.” “No one.” Frank answered shortly. He couldn’t be with anyone, because whoever got close to him ended up dead or worse. 

“Why so glum sugarplum?” Wade leaned forward. “What about Castlevania?” “Are you…” Frank was about to get fired up but by some miracle managed to compose himself. He cleared his throat and shifted. “Nevermind. The next question – “ Frank decided he best ignore the entire thing; he thought they were done with Castlevania. He was not to be ‘shipped’ as the kids called it – with Dracula. “Which muse is the kinkiest?” “Next!” Wade called – he was holding up his sign. “Me!” it read. And maybe that was the truth. Wade is into a lot of things, after all… “Which muse has the strangest kinks?” Frank read warily. Wade slammed his sign down on the table to grab everyone’s attention and held it up again. He pointed to it and looked between the other two; “Unless you want to list some kinks?” “Next.” Ajax nodded towards the screen. “You sure, Francis? I won’t kink shame. Maybe I could interest you in – “ “Next!” Ajax insisted. “Choose one muse and tell us how they lost their virginity.” Frank read. He thought perhaps they could draw straws or… “Rock papers scissors lizard Spock.” Wade said with remarkable speed and accuracy. 

“I lost mine to and older girl at one of the many orphanages I visited.” Ajax said flatly, wanting them to believe that it hadn’t really mattered.   “You’re so boring, Francis.” Wade pouted. “At least give us some details.” “It was quick, messy and left me wanting more.” Ajax squared his jaw. “Satisfied?” “Unlike you’ll ever be again; yes. Thank you. I’m touched, Francis.” Wade sniffed as if he was sincerely moved, whilst Frank hid a chuckle and shook his head, clearly relieved that he didn’t have to spill the beans.

“Each of us have to share a random sex fact… I…” Frank rubbed the back of his neck. “I like it when the woman is on top of me, so I can see her pleasure and have her in control.” he admitted. Wade gave an approving nod. “I prefer to be the sub – to give up the control, but more often than not I’m taking it because I get impatient – I think. What about you Francis? Any sexy secrets about your preferences? Oh that’s right…” “I get off on watching others emotions. Pleasure – pain? Doesn’t matter.” Ajax admitted – his tone threatening. Wade gasped loudly and murmured ‘Sadist’ under his breath. Frank blinked and tilted his head slightly to the side – as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Remind me again why we haven’t killed this guy?” Frank asked Wade. “You tell me. Hey, Francis, would you like to hurt me a little – how about that, huh?” “Yes, how about that?” Ajax pushed off the wall, his eyes like pits of hell. Dark, angry. A far too familiar smirk tugging at his lips. 

Frank’s arm shot out – stopping the villain from getting too close. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Wade taunted him. “Yeah,” Ajax snarled – pressing against Frank’s hand. “If you could organise… Seriously who made up these questions? Are these,” Frank turned the laptop around, unable to mask how mortified he felt. “Are you behind these Wade? Because I swear to god…” “I can take the blame for a lot of things – but not that.” Wade pointed at the screen. “Finish the question. I’m curious now.” Frank sighed and tilted his head upwards, as if he was asking for patience. 

“Alright. Alright… Argh… God. If you could organise a threesome involving three of your muses, who would you choose? I guess this one isn’t for us. And… heaven forbid the three of us ever get put in a room together again. Because the next time? I won’t go easy.” Frank pushed Ajax so he fell back against the wall and stared threateningly at Wade. “Careful Frank, he might like it.” Wade taunted. Ajax pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He hated Wade for his ability to get to him.   “The next one is for her as well. What muse she’d like to write a ship for…” Frank shook his head again. “What the fuck’s up with all these damned boats? Anyway… I assume she’d like to try me out with Billy.” “Kinky.” Wade purred. “I’m already in quite a few ships. If we’re adding to… pfft.” Truth was, Wade was content with his situation, so it took some thinking. “A Nathan would be nice? And no ships for Francis. His ship sank the day he let Michael Jackson Dr. Killebrew fiddle with his body.” Wade clicked his tongue and winked at Ajax. 

“How can you possibly know – “ Ajax began – cut off by Frank as he read the next question. “What are some preferences when deciding whether or not to ship a muse?” Frank frowned at the screen. “Read the rules, play nice, write well – I don’t know.” Wade hummed in agreement.  “And don’t assume we’ll ship – I don’t know about the other two, but I’m picky.” “You? Picky?” Ajax scoffed and leered at him. “Do you get to be?” “Well – I can’t fuck all the people who’s bummed because you couldn’t get it up for them.” Wade fired back. 

Frank rubbed his face – considering shooting them both. Ajax wouldn’t feel it, but he could die. Wade would feel it and couldn’t die. What a trio they were… “Are you guys DONE bickering yet?” he sounded tiredly. “Never,” Wade answered as he breathed in. Ajax rolled his eyes. “I prefer missionary or the cowgirl or whatever it’s known as these days. I like the intimacy. The control or giving up of. I like to touch, to see…” Frank’s words grew with passion as he spoke. Wade blinked and looked at him. “What are you on about?” “The next question. I figured I might finish this on my own and get the hell out.” Frank was done with the bullshit.   “What was the question?” Wade put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Headcanons, sex positions.” Frank scratched his cheek, and glanced up at Ajax. “You outta this one, too?”

“Against a wall… Or relentless teasing,” Ajax didn’t even get to finish before Wade corrected him; “Endless foreplay,” “To draw as much sound from the other part as possible.” Ajax blinked and turned slowly towards Wade. “What about you then, collared and on your knees begging for it?” 

“Actually that’s not that far from the truth. But I like a lot of things. Depends on my partner and whether I’m giving up control or not.” Wade shrugged. “How much time – “ Frank already began reading the next question. “ – none, then.” Wade sighed. “Has she written smut for you guys? Because that’s a no for me.” Frank didn’t take his eyes off the screen – this he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Ajax arched an eyebrow and cocked his head, Wade nodded vigorously. “I suppose neither of you know whether she prefers to write it or not?” Frank huffed and leaned back into his chair. “How are we supposed to answer these questions when they’re not even… yes… Wade?” Much to his surprise Wade has raised his hand. 

“Thank you. I happen to know that she don’t mind writing smut, but she has to feel comfortable with the person she’s writing it with.” “Multiship or singleship?” Frank turned to Ajax. He couldn’t stand the guy, but at least he’d had the decency to explain some of these things to him. “Is no ship an option?” Ajax smirked. It should be pretty clear at this point that he didn’t ship. “It is now. I’m on the fence. I wouldn’t ship with someone exclusively I think.” Frank grimaced at himself, as he was now using Tumblr and games own terms.   “Good call, Frank! For me it’s multiship all the way.” Wade drew a horizontal line in the air before him. “I’m not exclusive either.” “Huh, I think we just answered the next question. So… What is our shipping preferences? Weren’t we over that? Chemistry?” Frank thought that slow-burn sounded nice, but neither of the other guys seemed like the “slow burn” type. He didn’t know how wrong he was in his assumptions. “Yeah. What would you call my ship with Thanos? Because… that’s like… unhealthy. Toxic ships? I guess we’re semi into that? Aren’t we Francis?” Wade winked at him. Damn was he having a field day. Ajax on his end just shook his head and slammed his shoulders back against the wall. “What’s an OC?” Frank glanced up from the screen, relieved that they were close to done.  “Original character. We don’t really do those.” Wade knew that was frowned upon in the roleplaying community, but he didn’t give a shit. “I don’t know about you, but I have more than enough with the canon characters.” On most days, he actually had more than enough with himself. Ajax and Frank both seemed on board with that. 

“So,” Frank turned the laptop off and pulled the screen down. “That’s it. We’re done. Let’s never do it again.” his knees cracked as he stood up. 

“Or the next time we can get naked and –“ Wade began,  Frank pulled his gun and aimed it straight at his crotch. 

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.” his voice was low, barely audible.  “You don’t want to shoot me, Francis might get off on it.” Wade kindly reminded him.  “Oh my fucking…” Frank rubbed his face and headed out of the room. There wasn’t enough booze in the world to make him forget. 

“Hey – are you off to kill someone? Do you have a team yet – hey Frank, wait up!” Wade picked up his swords and chased after the Punisher. Ajax sighed and pushed his shoulders down. Being around Wade always made him tense up. He rolled his head from side to side, then left through the back door – half expecting the two of them to be waiting to kill him.

If you made it this far, please let me know what you think. No, Frank didn’t kill Ajax. Yet. 

#so much sinday answered in one lengthy fucking thing #i'm not sorry #sinday #sinday meme #answered meme #ficlet #deadpool rp #wade wilson rp #frank castle rp #the punisher rp #francis freeman rp #ajax rp #marvel rp #drabble

[featherquillpen]

Poetry Watches DS9: “The Search”

Again, grouping both parts into one post.

I love this feeling of facing this more advanced foe. It’s not that Star Trek has never faced existential threats before, Borg etc., but the Dominion is different because it feels uncomfortably similar to what the Federation is.

“I thought Starfleet didn’t believe in warships.” Have you noticed how much weaponry the Odyssey, the Enterprise, and other “exploration” ships have, Major Kira?

Jake Sisko is SUCH a fashion icon

omg I love that Sisko is a such a fan of ancient African art. all the Starfleet captains are such Renaissance men (and women, I haven’t forgotten Janeway)

GOD I can’t believe Quark is going on this mission, and furthermore, I can’t believe it actually makes SENSE for him to go on this mission

Sisko making Quark kiss the scepter was SUCH a power move, omfg

omg Quark and Odo sharing quarters. please tell me there’s hilarious fic about this.

Well these are certainly some Shapeshifter Special Effects

I find it very weird that these goo-shapeshifters take gendered humanoid forms. I mean obv it’s because their CGI wasn’t good enough for anything else, but at least they could have TRIED an in-universe explanation.

Seeing Odo smile is so rare it’s a little terrifying

I love that shapeshifter culture is just taking on the shapes of everything around you to get to know them. 

I wish they didn’t have the sinister musical sting after the Founder said that the treaty was good. I would like some more ambiguity about whether this treaty is a good thing instead of it being Obviously Bad

GARAK IS HERE!!! The highlight of any episode! And happy to see Bashir as always.

Oh no Odo doesn’t like shapeshifter culture :(

It’s honestly kind of sad knowing that Odo rests in his goo shape in a bucket when the rest of his kind gets to hang out together in a big goo ocean.

these shapeshifters are really shitty parents

hOLY SHIT SEXY GOO MERGING!!! this is my BRAND!!!

I love the way Bashir says Quark in his accent. “Kwaahk.”

love Starfleet doing the whole Neville Chamberlain act. the one true constant in Star Trek is that the admirals are fools.

I’m sure Bajor will love being trapped under a shiny new set of bootheels

I CAN’T BELIEVE ODO IS DOING THE TOBIAS RANT ABOUT HOW GREAT THERMALS ARE (sorry only Animorphs fans will get this)

I love hearing Odo say “my people.” He’s getting to know his culture! Diaspora feels!

Yep, Bajor was definitely not down for being crushed by a new set of bootheels. Go them.

Garak and Sisko plotting together! I’m clutching at my face in glee.

“I’m sorry, you have a loose thread here” *TASE* oh my fucking GOD, Garak pretends to be a tailor even while tasing people, he is TOO MUCH

WTF????????? A SIMULATION???????????

the absolutely amazing implication of this is that everything we saw of Garak this episode was Bashir’s reconstruction of him from memory, and apparently Bashir’s reconstruction is just as beautifully Extra.

the other implication is that the admirals being fools was a reconstruction from Sisko’s and the Romulan lady’s minds. LOL 

WTF???????? I’m so mad that the cool goo-people are space fascists! Poor Odo!

Still havin’ diaspora feels about Odo.

it’s a shame he’ll never get to sexy goo merge again.

#poetry watches ds9 #star trek ds9