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moonshinemusings · 1 year

Note

This blog *-* Can I have a headcanon for Price ? The ones for Soap and Alejandro are ghgffhh <3

Hello there! I'm really glad you like my blog, thank you! Here are some headcanons about our favourite Captain :)

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General John Price headcanons (Pt.1)

Warnings: slight mentions of PTSD, depression (?), smoking, canon typical violence

A/N: This turns pretty grim by the end, but I hope you still like it!

• This man watches football whenever he can and he's been at matches quite a lot in his life. He took Gaz with him a few times, even Laswell once

• Sometimes he snores like a dad and Gaz needed several days to get used to the sound in order to sleep when they started working together

• Tells horrible dad jokes all the time and he knows most of the guys hate them, but won't stop

• Coughs like his lungs will collapse but somehow he's healthy

• His knee always crunches like it's about to break

• He's mostly unperturbed by all the carnage and violence by now, but he saw a baby being born once and almost fainted and threw up

• In full honesty he doesn't mind cheaper cigars, but he likes to fuck with everyone by acting like he hates them

• The smell of the smoke on his breath/clothes is really noteable but he doesn't care

• Has a high alcohol tolerance. The only way you will know if he's getting tipsy is by noticing the subtle change in his accent to deeper and more slurred words. If somehow he's really gone, then you will know by the little red tints on his cheeks (which are mostly hidden by his facial hair, but you can see it up close)

• Not an early bird. He tends to be grumpy in the mornings, but if you give him coffee it's gonna be fine

• Which reminds me: his preferred drink will always be a good whiskey, but he usually downs anything he has to (coffee, tea, those horrible protein shakes, vitamin mixes and so on)

• Occasionally reads, mostly classics or novels

• Prefers salty food over sweet

• The secret of the facial hair? Patience and genuine care about his appearance. He shaves for like an hour every time because he doesn't want to ruin his mustache/beard (Alex is the same damn way I swear)

• He likes jazz music and 80's rock. Sometimes he blasts those horrendous English raps too because he knows the others hate it (sorry if I insulted anyone lol)

• Thinks pineapple on pizza is hideous (Soap loves it lol)

• He's had so many broken bones in his life, he has no idea if there is any in his body that he didn't destroy at least once yet

• He doesn't really like action/military based movies because of the unnecessary violence in them. They remind him of things he doesn't want to remember too much. He'd rather watch shitty romantic movies or even comedies, but he won't be caught dead while laughing at them. He also tends to laugh while watching horror movies, but the heavy gore can remind him of bad memories

• He doesn't care about social media or any of that stuff really. Sometimes Gaz shows him stuff like cat videos because he loves them. Everything he knows he got it from Kyle tbh

• He has no fashion sense whatsoever. Outside of work he either looks like a dad on vacation, or still wears too much stuff similar to his gear that he seems to be going back to work in 10 minutes

• He likes fuzzy socks btw

• Adores big dogs, he can just wrestle with them and when they lay on him it makes him feel centered and comfortable thanks to their weight

• Unreasonably good at poker and he has the highest record with like 2 wins behind Laswell (who he just can't beat)

• He can handcraft a bunch of stuff if you give him a piece of wood and a knife. He made little figures for Gaz and the guy kept them as lucky charms over the years

• He doesn't fuss around too much about food and he's not picky. Whatever he gets, he gets, and that's fine by him (he used to live off worst stuff anyways). He loves meat though, a nice steak always puts him in a good mood. Also probably makes mean bbq

• Drinks beverages like orange juice or even milk straight out of the carton

• He's a man who always keeps his promises. Not one to lie or feed half truths, he always straight up says everything he has to

• Has a collection of weird/dumb looking beanies he has received over the years from his team

• He met Kate's wife once and she made him feel like family in the best way possible. He was glad his best friend had such a great person in their life that they could go home to

• Very protective of his men. He has lost too many friends and doesn't want to lose anyone else

• His biggest fear is ending up alone, watching everyone he loves die

• Every man he has lost weights heavy on his shoulders. He remembers their faces, but not all their names which makes him feel even more guilty

• Tends to bottle up his emotions and act like everything is fine. Sometimes he breaks down seemingly out of nowhere, but only when he's alone

• Kate is his closest friend and when it gets really bad, she's the one he seeks out

• He has occasional nightmares just like everyone else, but feels like he's dealing well with them (mostly he does)

• He has a watch he got from Soap as a birthday gift once. He only wears it outside of work because it's too important for him to get it damaged in any way

• He rarely has free time or time away from work, but he gets the most out of it. He has a few safe houses, but prefers to spend his time in one in particular because it has all his personal belongings he has left

• At first he thought the "you're everyone's father" was a joke, but then he realized how genuinely they meant that and he kind of broke down. He didn't think he deserved that amount of deep affection and what came with a title such as that, but it made him feel unexplainably happy at the same time

• He's not sure if he ever wants a family. He knows the military is his life and would never leave it behind, unless he has to retire because he can't keep up anymore (even then, only if they force him). The idea of having someone who loves him waiting at home brings warmth to his chest, but he's not sure if he deserves it. He doesn't want to taint anyone with his hands that hold so much blood on them

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #mw2 #modern warfare2 #john price #captain price #captain john price #price headcanons #headcanons

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swiftie-erin · 8 days

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Here's my first-listen review of TTPD and TTPD: The Anthology!

disclaimer: i broke down the rankings per album because trying to do them all together would've been a hell of a journey and would've taken more than one day / been more than just a "first listen." and per usual, take the songs at the bottom with a grain of salt because all of them are so close and even the ones at the bottom feel like they should be in the top ten

Overall review: wow, this was a lot to process. I keep trying to think about whether I like TTPD or TTPD: The Anthology better, but honestly I can't choose. so much heart-wrenching pain, such beautiful lyrics, and incredible reflections on love, loss, inner turmoil, what-ifs, and using writing as an outlet. this is absolutely going to be on repeat through spring and summer!

1. Fortnight - lowkey would've loved more Post Malone on this song but this is one of my faves!!

2. TTPD - I love the storytelling and I love the way Taylor says "TTPD" and "nofuckingbody" hehe

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - the imagery?? "queen of sand castles he destroys"??? omg this is one of my faves.

4. Down Bad - Love this song sonically and love hearing Taylor say fuck LOL. this is my fave song i think!

5. So Long, London - 🥺🥺 "i'm pissed off that you let me give you all that youth for free" gives me goosebumps, i love this song

6. But Daddy I Love Him - tbh good for you taylor, get em. your life is your own and only you get to tell yourself what you can or can't do, or who you can or can't love!

7. Fresh Out the Slammer - the lyrics are so good and the bridge transition is so beautiful!!!

8. Florida!!! - same bbg, we all need a dose of escapism once in a while (also i love the 🍃 mention hehe). fuck me up florida!!!

9. Guilty as Sin? - this is the song I pre-claimed and tbh it does not disappoint at all!

10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? - the guitar, so good omg. the emotion in taylor's voice is raw and the female rage is palpable, love this song.

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - love the ending and love the chorus!!

12. loml - ouchie. the lyricism and that last chorus, wow.

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - we love a good depressive pop song!! "all of the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting 'more!'" and the click track!!

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - men ain't shit, taylor. what'd he do? I'll deliver your message LET ME AT EM-

15. The Alchemy - i'm so glad taylor is in a better place 🥹 it truly gives "karma is the guy on the chiefs coming straight home to me"

16. Clara Bow - such a beautiful song sonically, shows both the hope and hardships of wanting to be in the spotlight

17. The Black Dog - the second verse, OUCHIE. the bridge? i've died. i love this song more than i expected to.

18. imgonnagetyouback - i love the chorus and actually the entire song tbh

19. The Albatross - i'm very intrigued with the tale we're being told. people truly will read something about you, believe it, then crucify you for it.

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - such a beautiful, sad song. what-ifs (especially for people like taylor and i who have anxiety) can be so, so much more heart-wrenching than knowing

21. How Did It End? - the lyrics. the sound. everything unspoken. how everyone wants to know what happened but she's not even sure herself.

22. So High School - so goddamn cute!!! i couldn't be happier that taylor is happy and thriving with trav 🥹🫶

23. I Hate It Here - "when they found a better planet, only the gentle survived" BESTIE i wish. i'm there right with you, girl. the world is awful and living in your mind often is easier and better. also, i too read the secret garden as a child hehe

24. thanK you alMee - omg, this song. taylor is truly coming to terms with what gave her scars and acknowledging it and moving forward. i'm so fuckin proud of her.

25. I Look In People's Windows - "i'm afflicted by the not knowing" ugh me too girlie. the anxiety, the contemplation, the fantasies; i'm glad neither of us are alone in knowing these feelings all too well

26. The Prophecy - i love this song 🥺 it's one of my faves. it reminds me of Foolish One, it's so desperate and hopeful at the same time.

27. Cassandra - i'm a greek/roman history slut so i love this already. i love the intertwined story that she creates, it's powerful.

28. Peter - bruh this song makes me want to cry. Betty has turned off her porch light 🥺

29. The Bolter - I love the way this song sounds! the first chorus sets the stage so well and the chorus is lowkey catchy

30. Robin - precious lyrics about keeping children innocent so they can enjoy their childhood while they have it 💗

31. The Manuscript - as a poet and writer myself, i relate to this song so much. writing truly is an outlet for processing emotions and at the end of it, all of those feelings are part of the writing and no longer yours. you're free.

#taylor swift #taylurking #ttpd #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd #ttpd era #ttpd the anthology #taylor swift ttpd

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pinkcherryblossomangel · 1 year

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Away from home -chapter 5

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

When she starts missing home and the darkness creeps upon her, her hotel neighbour comes to her rescue.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

But the other boys do make appearances it's just easy to keep to minimum of characters lol

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

It's been 5 days since the 3racha boys came to set. And everyday so far has been so joyous. Their fun and passion is contagious. Today's also the last day on these scenes, a days filming is only like 3 minutes of footage, which is why we spend weeks on single scenes.

Call time is a bit earlier today, so unlike the the past 3 days I head to the location base by myself. Keith seems to feel Chris's absence moaning that he misses hearing his Australian accent in the morning.

"He'll be back tonight!" I say, which seems to cheer him up a bit. Like always I nod off and wake up driving through security. It's 7 am by the time we arrive. I head straight to my trailer when my costume for today has been laid out next to my call sheet.

I get dressed and head straight to make up. It's only a natural look today, but with Tabby's iconic red lippy! My hair doesn't seem to behaving the way they want it too, so after almost choking on 2 cans of hairspray I'm ready. I look in the mirror. I don't recognise myself most days, but when I'm in character I really don't. Which is good. I think?

I head down to the breakfast table and grab a bacon and egg sandwich. My dad's favourite. And some grapes and then wander down to set. I'm 15 minutes early, but like my old teacher told me, on time is late! When Jenna and Tash arrive they join me on the bleachers all gossiping and eating. Tash tells us of some drama she got in on twitter. Well that her fans got into. Something to do with her ex girlfriends new album. That's something I find quite funny about being apart of the Hollywood world, I now get the inside scoop on twitter feuds.

I look at the clock in the hall and realise he'll be here in 20 minutes. I'm suddenly acutely aware that this is the first time he's seen me in makeup. I've been barefaced and dressed in comfy clothes this whole week and I feel heat rising in my cheeks, burning with self consciousness. Jenna puts her hand on my knee, as if she can read my mind. I try to ground myself looking for things to see and hear.

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The filming goes without a hitch, but I haven't seen the boys. Seems like I was nervous for nothing.

And there they are entering the hall with our main runner alice and our lunch orders. There's someone else with the too! Hannah! The reason I even know who these guys are. Chan makes a b-line for me, with my lunch order, buttered chicken.

They decide to eat with us on the bleachers. Chris asks to have a quick chat just the two of us.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come out for a few drinks with me the guys and Hannah tonight? It's okay if not, I just think you two would get along and the guys wanna hang out with you, cause I apparently keep going on about you...."

"It's a date" I reply. Both of us blushing at my response. "Sorry I had to"

"I'll pick you up at 10?" Chris questions with an upturned brow.

"Don't be late, i know it's quite far away."

"A whole 4 steps!" He jokes as we walk back to everyone else.

-----------------------------------------

Today we're supposed to finish at 6pm, it's currently 6:20pm and we have another angle to shoot still. Like most days we're running behind. I told Keith to take Chris back to the Milton but I guess he decided he doesn't want to go yet as I can see him peeking behind Olivia as she's watching the monitors. She checks her watch and sighs.

"Alright everyone, we are running behind, but since it's a Friday I'm gonna let us off now. Get some rest this weekend and we'll finish the scene on Monday."

I head to ovet Keith with Chris, I almost trip over some wires I'm that engaged in our conversation.

"You two seem chirpy" remarks Keith as we enter his car

"It's that Friday feeling" Chris replies, I audibly cringe which makes both men laugh.

Back in my room, I tidy up after making myself a snack of instant noodles. There do lack something being done in a microwave. I decide to get a shower to freshen up before getting ready to go out tonight. But as soon as I get naked and turn the tap on, the showers head falls off and I'm covered it what's an equivalent of a bucket of freezing cold water. Unfortunately my room doesn't have a bath. I could ask to use Chris's shower right? I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

I put my dressing gown on and walk over to his door. I'm about to turn away out of embarrassment when he Unlocks the door. "I'm guessing that shriek I heard had something to do with this" He gestures to my current state.

"Youd be correct" He grins at my response. "Can I use your shower? mine has busted and the hotel can't fix it till tomorrow."

"Sure" he says waving me in. His room is tidy and smells of him. A mix of vanilla and musk. I head to his bathroom, the plan is the same as my room, except this one has him. "Feel free to use any of my products," He probably noticed my lack of any.

"Oh Shit, no, I'll go get mine."

"No Please, use mine"

"My knight in shining armour!" He looks down in a really cute way. I think making him blush may be my new favourite thing.

" enjoy your shower Y/N"

"I will Christopher" I smile, and head into the shower.

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I smell like him, I realise as I get changed. I decided to keep it casual with some black, wide legged trousers and an oversized t shirt. Something I'm not afraid to get dirty, but nice enough to be seen in. I apply just a small amount of makeup, for no other reason than o don't particularly like the feeling of it on my face. Don't get me wrong, I love getting dolled up,especially for events, but if I'm honest, I can't be arsed right now.

There's a knock at my door. It's Chan. Obviously. I grab my back pack and open the door.

"You ready?" He asks

"Yeah lets go. Im excited I've not been out out in ages."

"Out out?" He questions

"Yeah like out is like the pub but out out is like a bar or something. Do you guys not say that in Australia?"

"Not that I know" we reach the lift. "I'll have to ask Hannah, maybe she knows!"

The cab we order is right on time and we get to the bar at 9:15pm. There waiting for us is the rest of 3racha and Chans sister.

#bang chan x reader #bang chris #chan x reader #christopher bang #seo changbin #bang chan #han jisung #stray kids fanfic #stray kids #bang chan fanfic #kpop fanfic #fanfic

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spencstan · 3 years

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Queer Book recs

this is a list of queer books i've read in the last year and liked bc not everyone knows how many there are. and everyone should get to feel represented when they read.

i'll put what part of the lgbtq+ community is in the book unless there are too many lol

also i will mark in red the books written by problematic authors so that you guys know not to buy from or if you feel uncomfortable so you don't read them

another thing, I'm latine so I'll add that to the books that I feel have good rep. with bipoc rep I'll add it in some that I know for sure it's good rep but just so you know it's not really my place to say so feel free to correct me

my storygraph acc (it's like goodreads but it isn't owned by amazon): @/valeng

FANTASY (most of them are YA):

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Cemetery boys by Aiden Thomas(trans mc, mlm) (latinx)

They both die at the end by Adam Silvera (mlm) (latinx)

The Dark Tide by Alicia Jasinska (wlw)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab (m/f but they are both bi) (also kinda historic fiction idk)

The Extroardinaires by T.J Klune (mlm, wlw)

The Infinite Noice by Lauren Shippen (mlm) (it deals heavily with depression so check tw)

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (wlw)

The Atlas Six by Olive Blake

In Deeper Waters by F.T Lukens (mlm)

Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett(wlw)

ROMANCE and/or CONTEMPORARY (YA and NA):

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm)

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman (it's a graohic novel btw)

What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera (mlm) (latinx)

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic (mlm) (demisexual)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (wlw, mlm) (bipoc and latinx)

Conventionally Yours by Annabeth Albert (mlm, non binary, etc.)

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver (nblm, non binary mc)

Felix Every After by Kacen Calender (mlm, trans mc demiboy)

Here the Whole Time by Vitor Martins (mlm, wlw) (bipoc, it's a Brazilian author and that's where the book takes place)

May the Best Man Win by Z.R. Ellor (mlm, trans mc) (autistic mc)

Running with Lions by Julian Winters (mlm) (bipoc)

Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales (mlm, wlw)

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg (mlm)

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee (t4t, nblm, trans and non binary mc, wlw)

Loveless by Alice Oseman (aroace mc)

The passing playbook by Isaac Fitzsimons (trans mc)(mlm)

Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun by Johnny Garza Villa (latine) (mlm)

YA SCI-FI:

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutski (mlm) (this is basically a finnpoe from star wars and I mean this in the best way possible)

MYSTERY

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Ìyímídé (bipoc) (wlw, mlm) (don't forget to check tw for this one)

(check tw for all of them just in case)

(I'm gonna add when I have more recs)

#books #queer book recs #queer books #book recs #book recommendations #lgbtqia+#lgbtq+ characters #six of crowd #one last stop #ols #the raven cycle #the foxhole court #may the best man win #they both die at the end #adam silvera #olivie blake #alice oseman #heartstopper

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sunnys-sides-up · 2 years

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👑 We are here to introduce ourselves. I'm Ryan, and I'm the prince in charge. Let me start by saying we are not a DID system, we are merely Sunny's sides, much like the Sander's Sides show on YouTube. I am his creativity and love of acting, and the main side in charge. I am a prince after all~

😎 Hey, sup, yall, I'm Remy. I'm Sunnys sass and his addiction to coffee. Don't get in my way, I'm straight but act Hella gay lol

📚 I am Kayto. I am sunnys logic and his love of learning and puzzle games like Portal 2 and maze games. I'm also the one of the group who like documentaries and Game Theory.

💫 HIIIIII!!!! I'm Joop!! I'm his ADHD and his hyper fixations on aaaaaaaaaalllllll his favorite hobbies. I love singing, and dancing, and instruments, and drawing, and painting, and rp, and puppiesssss!!!!! Ryan's better at keeping me focused on the creative stuff, but I love keeping everyone on their toes of what I wanna do next!

🦨 Hello~ I'm Trashman. I'm his gross and stinky creativity. (I'm the one that comes up with ideas in the bedroom~~ hehehehe

Trashman!!

🦨well its true~

You dont tell people that!

🦨oh well~

🌧 *sigh* Anyway, I'm Ximmens. I'm Sunnys depression, anxiety, and the quietest in the group. Okay bye

💭 Im Kyle. I'm basically the "go-with-the-flow" side of Sunny's personality. Im also the peace-keeper between the others, so when a fight breaks out I try and keep everybody calm enough to work through our issues.

💞 Hi, lovelies, I'm Mom. I'm Sunnys morality and love for his family. Even though his family is mostly found family ^_^

🧡 Hey, everybody, I'm Dad. I'm another facet of his morality, and his "dad-friend" side. I'm the one that likes to take care of the others and make everyone feel loved

💙 Heeeeyyyy little dudessss! I'm Blue! I'm Sunnys confidence. Ryan and I had to leave for a while, but were back! We are back and better than EVER!

🌙 Hello, I'm exhaustion. I'm basically his love of sleep, and sunnys ability to fall asleep anywhere. But if something needs to get done or if a friend needs help, I help keep him awake at night to make sure what needs to happen happens. No matter what time it is.

💘 I am Lust. I am sunnys romantic side, and, well, his lust. I make all of Trashman's wonderful ideas more romantic and beautiful. I'm what makes him obsessed over Cass, his fiance. I love when two people find each other and are a perfect fit. Its the most beautiful thing.

🌸 *sits and wags tail happily* (Hi there! I'm Sweetie. I'm a dog! I'm Ximmen's therapy dog. I love making people happy and just being a shoulder to cry on. I dont even need to say much, just be there and it helps!)

💥 RUFF RRRRUFF!! *pants happily and runs in circles with a toy* (Hi! Hi! Hi! Wanna play?? I'm Candy! I'm Joop's dog! I run around and love to play! Whenever someone's feeling sad, I'm the part of sunny that will make a silly face or say something silly to make them laugh!)

And thats everybody! Or at least everybody who's shown themself to me. I'm Sunny, and these are my sides! Thank you for reading, and we hope to talk to you guys more soon!

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eitelle · 3 years

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Could you do one of the match up things? Here’s the stuff for it!

Mbti:INFP

sign: Gemini

height: 5’9

favorite food: Anything but I have a sweet tooth

Favorite colors: Red blue or purple

Hobbies: I like to watch anime, read books, cook, listen to music, play video games, sleep, bike, hike, and swim.

Personality: I’m nice, gentle, anxious, depressed, kinda lazy, comforting to others, friendly, and shy.

Looks: I would be describe as cute rather than like hot or something. I’m also kinda chubby and I'm insecure about it. I wear sweaters and big hoodies and I have glasses.

Other stuff ig: I’m really quiet when talking to people and when all the attention is on me, but when I’m with a close friend I’m very loud and talkative. Also! I apologize for stuff I don’t need to and then apologize for apologizing lol

AJSGSJDHD HI BUB SORRY THIS IS SO LATE KM SO BAD AT THESE AHSG

honestly i feel u for a lot of these (also u sound so pretty? u didnt tell me that u sound this pretty 😠) (ps what r ur fav books tbh-)

OKOK anyways i have matched you up w: levochka haiba 😫‼️

i hope thats fine since u didnt specify the anime SHSH

some hcs:

ok so yall def were the weird couple

we have the otaku n the otakus bf whos like a bimbo but a male

idk everyone just thought yall were cute tbh

kenma n kuroo made u a presentation to take care of lev n yaku n yamamoto gave u the talk SHSGSJ

u get piggy back rides from him (read: he forces you to be carried around by him)

he def cannot understand how u read n watch anime n also play video games but also stay so active. he def admires u

if ur ever feeling like insecure hes like “but that just means u can take my clothes n i can take urs? 🥺”

and also just comments on how cool it is that hes like a stick n ur like not and he thinks its so cute

he n u both love sweets so yall kinda splurge on those SHSGSHS

hes a hardworker but he doesnt rly get things, whereas ur the opposite so u help him n he helps motivate u and h guys just go together like that

he has a photo of yall together as his lockscreen that someone else took of yall

no bc its def this one

anyways he ties ur shoelaces for u n is a gentlemen for u n u only

at first yall didnt get along bc i kin assign u kenma tbh but then he realizes that yall just make each other better :DD

OK ONESHOT THINGY TIME

WHY DOES HE LIKE NOT HAVE GIFS??? ANYAAYS

tw/cw: body hate n angst!! pls be careful continuing!! hurt/comfort

*ANGST HERE BESTIES*

it was another night and another day of body dysmorphia. why couldnt you look like them, like the models on your instagram feed with the flat stomachs and toned abs. why? why did the universe make you the way u are.

at this point youre breaking down hot tears streaming down your face not noticing as your door to your room opens. your tall silver haired boyfriend on the other side thought something happened as it was abnormally quiet. normally he could hear some sort of anime video game or music for your reading but it was empty. and dark. your room was almost never dark so he knew something was up. he knocked and from hearing no response he quickly moved in.

*END OF ANGST* (brief summary of what happened: a breakdown ab ur body n then ur bf coming inside ur room. comfort starts here!!)

“y/n? oh my god y/n are you ok?” your boyfriend frets as he sees you on the floor gripping your stomach. “come here baby.”

he easily picks you up and carries you to your bed big spooning you while lacing his fingers with yours.

“i hate that you hate yourself. i love you, i wish you would see urself the way i see you,” he says sadly.

“and how is that?”

“well first of all, people always see a forced version of themselves. never the natural beautiful version that everyone else sees!! ur no different >:( i see u as someone whos beautiful n gives me extra cuddly cuddles and extra body heat :)) u have a uterus right? well ur little tummy pouch is just that its very normal. you can never have a flat straight stomach. and you need fats to survive so ur gonna be the oldest person alive someday. thats so cool y/n !!😄”

“wow... lev. i didnt know u knew how to talk like this 😟” you say laughing slightly to cover up how touched you really are from his words.

“hey im not that dumb >:(“ he says not realizing youve already dozed off. “right? hey y/n. Y/NNN- oh oops sorry dont wake up pls 😅”

ALR NOW TEXTS !! (n art/artbreeder)

THATS ALL I COULD FIND BUT I MEAN SHEESHHHH

OK HERE R TEXTS I HOPE U LIKE IT SHAHSHS

#michelles 60 follower matchup event #god i hate this event more than life itself #like only kinda tho #i like it i just wish i didnt include so much AJSGSJDH

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haienatrash · 4 years

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When They’re Out of The Limelight

Note: Hi everyone, I hope you guys are doing fine. I decided to delete the first version of this fanfic and write another one with a different ending, coz I received some feedbacks (not just from tumblr but also on twitter) saying that the ending was depressing and that I was too cruel to the characters (which was true, i admit that and i’m sorry. Lol.) I love my moots and I don’t want them to be sad. So here you go, this version contains two parts, hope you guys enjoy the story! - haienatrash

Part I - The After Party

June 5, 2020 - Baeksang Arts Awards 2020

"Everyone's looking for you." Someone with a sexy baritone voice said which made her twirl in surprise. It was Ju Ji Hoon. He was still in his simple yet gorgeous tuxedo with the brooch pin that she had chosen for him to use that night.

Hye Soo smirked at him, a bottle of beer on her left hand. It was that familiar tipsy grin that Geum Ja often use to Hee Jae when they would drink a bottle or more of Soju in Hyena. She sipped a beer before turning her back on him again.

Ji Hoon on the other hand, smiled while admiring her voluptuous figure from the back, taking note of the small details just like the back slit of the dress, how it exposed a little of her skin and the Bulgari Diamond Serpenti flawlessly resting on her back down to the middle of her spine. He was truly amazed at how the black Ralph Lauren dress fitted her body perfectly, flaunting those curves that she maintained through the years.

But his brows creased when he realized she wasn't wearing the white coat she had earlier. She must have left it on the venue downstairs, he unbuttoned his tuxedo jacket and pulled it off from his torso as he slowly walked towards Hye Soo, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Upon reaching her, he carefully placed the tuxedo jacket on her shoulder to keep her warm before leaning on the railing that reaches up to their abdomen. His gesture made her look up at him, but he was ignoring her stare pretending to look at the 360-degree view of Seoul. They were on the rooftop of the hotel where the Baeksang Arts Award 2020 after party was held.

"Hoon-ssi it's fine, you don't---"

"You're wearing a dress." He cut her off "Exposing your shoulder and your back..." He paused staring back at her before he continued what he was saying "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against you wearing that sexy dress, but I don't want you to get cold, alright Sunbaenim?" He rolled his eyes the way Hee Jae did, that made Hye Soo chuckle, amused by how Ji Hoon still has a bit of his character with him.

"Hee Jae is that you?" She asked him still giggling a bit "Sorry, but Geum Ja's not here tonight."

"Who says I want Geum Ja? I want Hye Soo." He said not looking away from her.

There was no response from her, now the only thing they could hear was the sound of the gusting wind. Their gazes were locked, she could feel the blood rushing to her face turning her cheeks into crimson red. He never fails to make her feel this way as if it was the first time that someone said those words to her.

"But you can't." She said bitterly, looking away from him, setting the bottle of beer on the railing cap.

Ji Hoon looked down, "You don't trust me, do you?"

"Trust isn't the issue in here. It's the age, the opinion of everyone around us and the career... Your career."

"I'm willing to give it all up---"

"Well I don't, I wouldn't let you give up everything you worked for just to be with me." She cut him off staring back at him. "You're young, you're smart and you're talented, there's so much ahead of you. Don't waste it with someone like me and I am sure you'll find someone much better, someone who can give you a family, a son, or maybe a daughter." She explained but it seems like he wasn't listening to any of it.

"Then I'll take whatever you can give. I love you, and I know you feel the same... Please?" He grabbed both her hands and kissed her knuckles. His eyes started getting wet.

"Ji Hoon, stop." She said pulling her hands away from him.

"This is so unfair. I just wanted to be with you." She saw how tears pooled down his cheeks as he said those words. She felt her heart broke into million pieces, watching him weep because of her.

She couldn't help herself, but extend her hand to his face, cupping his cheek wiping his tears using her thumb. Then she pulled him closer for the last time and caught his lips with hers, kissing him slowly and softly making it linger, trying to ease his pain.

Hye Soo pulled out of the kiss before saying "Let's not see each other again."

Hye Soo walked away from Ji Hoon and did not dare to look back anymore, because she would just do the foolish thing and gave into her emotion again. It's better to end it right now than to fuck everything up later on.

Part II - The Resolve

June 24, 2020 - Hyena BD Commentary Filming Day

Ji Hoon tapped the shoulder of his driver reminding him to take the day off and park the car on the fifth level before he came out of the black Mercedes Benz. He was wearing a plain navy-blue colored t-shirt with a large print on the back and a pair of jeans his hair was neatly brushed up the way Hee Jae would like it, with a black face mask and sunglasses on, which helped him disguise himself and not be noticed by the public. He entered the building and walked straight to the elevator, he pressed the thirteenth button and quietly stood there waiting as it lifted him to his floor.

He still felt a bit dizzy and nauseous because of his hangover from last night, he had been like this for a couple of weeks now and it was still because of what happened at the hotel rooftop last June fifth. That was the last time he saw her, and it didn't go well. His heart ached as he recalled how she walked away from him saying that they shouldn't see each other anymore.

He tried reaching out to her since that night, calling her everyday or whenever he was drunk trying to fix everything between them, but she would just shrug him off and ignore his phone calls. He even drove to her house a week ago only to be dragged out by her security. Ji Hoon clutched tightly on his phone, suppressing the tears which was trying to pool out of his eyes, he shouldn’t be like this.

Be professional Ji Hoon. Be professional.

Ji Hoon knew what he did over the past few weeks was pathetic. But he couldn't just let her go, she meant the world to him and he was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with her. He wouldn't get tired of fighting for her. That was his main reason why he wanted to attend the commentary.

Hye Soo Sunbae would be there. He thought.

Ji Hoon kept on saying that to himself, that was the only motivation he had for almost three weeks, that the commentary would be a good chance to speak with her.

The elevator opened, he looked at the indicator saying they were already on the thirteenth floor, he walked towards Studio five and gently pushed the glass door of the studio; he was welcomed by some of the staffs and crews that he had worked with during the filming of Hyena. He bowed to them as a sign of respect mostly to those who he knew was older than him, then he saw Jang Tae Yoo the director of Hyena, standing next to a tall woman with short hair who's back was facing him.

Obviously, it was her. His sunbae. Kim Hye Soo. The director looked at his direction with a smile on his face. Ji Hoon could read his mouth saying, "Ju Ji Hoon is here." to her. She turned to him, she was wearing a simple white blouse paired with a tattered pair of jeans and a white coat draping over her shoulder, it was simple yet stunning. Well, Hye Soo has always been stunning even in those simple clothes, the corner of her lips curved into a little smile as if nothing happened between them.

Damn, she really is a good actress... He said at the back of his mind. Ji Hoon waved his hand to them, he walked towards them bowing to his leading lady and the director. He felt awkward, not knowing how he should act around her.

"We're glad that you're here already. Maybe we could start in an hour?" Asked Jang Tae Yoo looking up to Ji Hoon. Both leads nodded to him. "Good, we'll go get the lights fixed. Have some snacks first." He said patting Ji Hoon's arm before he left them alone.

Silence surrounded them. He sighed before removing his mask, folding it and sliding it into the back-pocket of his jeans.

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

There was a lot of thing that he wanted to ask, and he wanted to say to her but "Hey..." Was all that came out of his mouth.

"Hi." She responded, still with that minimal smile on her lips. She handed him a cookie in pink packaging, which he took instantly like a kid who was given a candy.

She stared at him intently, examining his face. His lips were pale and dry. "Take your sunglasses off, it's a bit disrespectful to greet the director with those on." She said using the director as an excuse to see his face better.

Ji Hoon, without any second thought, took off his sunglasses revealing the dark circles under his unique mismatched eyes, he looked exhausted as if he hadn't slept for weeks. Hye Soo sighed rolling her eyes, she knew it.

"Meet me in the restroom at the end of the hallway going to Studio six and don't forget to put back those sunglasses on." She said before making her way out of Studio five.

• • •

He opened the door of the all-gender restroom then he saw her leaning with her hips on the tiled sink waiting for him. He locked the door before walking towards her, he wasn't sure what she wanted from him but here he was, obviously he couldn't resist her. She stood up properly when she saw him walking towards her, motioning him to switch places with her. Now he was the one who’s leaning on the sink.

"What do you want?" he asked as serious as he could.

"Close your eyes." She stated, ignoring his question. Hye Soo thought he wouldn't do as she said but he did, but as the usual he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He kept on blabbering about how she said the other week that they shouldn't see each other anymore but here they were, in the public restroom, alone. That he called her every day, but she didn't answer any of them and how her security dragged him out of her village. He did all that as she got the wet wipes from her bag, she leaned closer to him and gently cleaned his face, removing the unwanted dirt from his flawless face.

She could spend her whole day just staring at him, memorizing every inch of his face taking note of the small details like the mole on his left cheek that you could barely see if you aren't this close to him and the pointed nose that she compared with the Himalayas, which he found funny.

Hye Soo pulled the primer and the concealer from her make-up pouch. Lucky enough, she still has the concealer that he left on her bathroom the last time he spent the night there which matched his skin tone. She applied a bit primer on his skin and some concealer underneath his eyes. She took her time as she did his make-up, they still have an hour and she wanted this to last, she wouldn't tell anyone, but she missed this dork, she missed him.

"Will you please shut your mouth for a moment Hoon-ssi?" She asked, applying a thin layer of powder on his skin.

"My eyes are closed already, and now you also want me to close my mouth. I don't even understand why you're doing this. You aren't even answering any of my question?!"

"Keep your tone down, will you?" She asked before putting the final touch, a lipstick. From his cheek, her eyes travelled down to his thin lips, it was dry, but she still found them kissable. She gulped.

Don't do it. Don't. Her conscience kept on telling her, but she did it anyway, she kissed him. What she did left him silent, her lips moving against his. It took him a minute or two before he returned her kisses. His hand on her hips pulling her closer to him. The kiss was soft and slow.

“Does that answer all your questions?” She whispered against his mouth before pulling away to catch a breath. "I did that to push you away. Because I wanted to protect you." She placed a hand on his chest. "Let's talk about this later, okay? For now, let's get you ready for the commentary."

He only nodded letting her finish his make-up. After him she fixed herself next, wiping down the smudged lipstick on the corner of her mouth before putting another layer of the same lipstick she used for Ji Hoon's lips.

• • •

After the commentary they drove straight to the Director's house to celebrate the success of Hyena. The whole Team H was there, together with the supporting characters of Hyena, Gyeong Hwa even prepared a cake with the candles saying 'Hyena'. It was fun to be with them again and have a nice dinner while catching up. The celebration ended around ten in the evening, and everyone had gone on their separate ways, but it was different for Ji Hoon and Hye Soo, they still needed to talk.

Ji Hoon parked his car a few blocks away from her house the way he did before. She looked at him and she knew he felt anxious about how their conversation would end up, she could see it on his movements that's why she held his right hand and intertwined it with hers.

"Hey, we'll see each other again, okay?"

"Are you sure---"

"I'm not." She looked straight into his eyes "I'm not sure about what I'm doing and what will be the consequences, but there's one thing that I'm sure of..." She paused, gripping on his hand tighter before saying "And that’s you. I'm sure about you, I'm sure that I want to be with you." She smiled reassuring him that she wouldn't let him go, not anymore.

- END -

Bonus Content!!

On December twenty-fifth Kim Hye Soo posted photo on Instagram with a silhouette of a man, with a very intriguing caption. Some fans guessed it was Ju Ji Hoon. Then the next day both their agencies confirmed that they were dating.

Note: This photo collage is edited, and none of these are true. Thank you for reading!!

#hyena #hyena sbs #jung geum ja #yoon hee jae #hyena fanfic #kim hye soo fanfic #ju ji hoon fanfic

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molly2140 · 4 years

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I feel like showing off my vinyl collection, feel free to show me yours!

I'm an avid 70s/80s/90s collector, and deeply wish I could've been alive for all of that, most of my vinyls are 70s/80s, some older, some newer. Some are 100% vintage, others are newly made/released. My dad (who brought me up on literally everything 70s and 80s) got me a record player for Christmas and helped me start my collection, since then it's grown rapidly.

First I must show off my RDR2 vinyls, with Marty Robbins' "Gunfighter Ballads", his songs are perfect to listen to while playing RDR2, "Big Iron" being one of my favorites.

Dad got me all 3 of my Queen albums for Christmas, as he knows that Queen is perhaps my favorite band of all time, I've been trying to find vintage vinyls of their albums rather than the newly remade ones, haven't had much luck yet but we will get there. :)

Did I mention that my dad and I are diehard Gordon Lightfoot fans? "Summertime Dream" and "Sundown" are perhaps my favorite albums. Lightfoot's song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" holds a special place in my heart. While the song is based off of a true story, about the tragic sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior, this song has a deeper connection with me. My dad, my Uncle Rob, and my Uncle Rodney, they loved this song so much, they would sit and listen to it on repeat for hours and hours mesmerized by the story that it told, along with Lightfoot's iconic voice, and the instruments itself. This was their group song essentially. Unfortunately, on July 25, 2019 (a year ago this coming Saturday), my Uncle Rodney lost his battle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), he was only 49 years old, a year younger than my dad. It was something we would never expect happen to any of us, let alone him. Uncle Rodney went out of his way for everyone, he'd help everyone whenever he could and would never ask for or expect anything in return. He put his family first, he loved and cared for his kids the best he could, he worked his ass off hand crafting furniture out of cedar wood, and adding onto his home and designing it just the way a true country boy could ever want it, he was dedicated to his job, his family, and his friends. Hard to believe it will be a whole year this weekend, not a day goes by where I don't think about him, he was like a second dad to me, and I greatly wished that I'd had more time with him, especially hugs, he gave the best hugs.

However he'd want me to carry on and continue to be happy, and it was hard the first few months after he passed, I went into a depression spell, and starting coming out of it in February, and then I met the man who is now my boyfriend. I don't know if it was just coincidence, or if Uncle Rodney had a hand in all of it, but I shit you not, my boyfriend reminds me so much of him, including my dad. My family absolutely loves him and has taken him in already, and I've never been this happy. But alas, this isn't supposed to be my life's story, but some of these records mean so much to me, and Lightfoot's records will forever hold a special place in my heart, for the very sole reason you just read about.

Moving on! These are some great records I found on a clearance rack at a record store, all under $5 a piece! My grandpa is a huge John Denver fan, so he very much appreciates it when he stops by our house and hears me blasting that album from my room haha. My boyfriend loves The Oak Ridge Boys, and let me tell you, he can sing the oom poppa mow mows in the song "Elvira" perfectly, and I melt everytime haha. Rosanne Cash, her music gets played constantly whenever we are having a party at my Uncle Rob's house, so when I hear her voice, it makes me want to go down there and have a great time. The Outlaws, I only recently discovered them but I really enjoy this album in particular, "You Are the Show" is perhaps my favorite song on the album, I sing this one a lot no matter how terrible I may be at it, I can't help it lol.

Ah yes, more classics. My dad really enjoys when I decide to blast my CCR album (a birthday present from my boyfriend). "Fortunate Son" is probably my dad's favorite CCR song, and it is definitely his theme song. Boston and Molly Hatchet are two of my other favorites for sure, including Chicago, it has been awhile since I listened to them, but they sure are fun.

Oh these three here I love talking about. I mean, who doesn't love Footloose and Dirty Dancing? The Footloose record is vintage, the Dirty Dancing one is a newly released version, but I ended up buying it anyways as the record itself is that purple color of awesomeness. The Quiet Riot one I found at an antique store, my favorite album of theirs, and because it's a picture vinyl, I had to have it. It looks kickass watching it on the record player.

Any Fleetwood Mac fans? My witchy sisters, this is our music. I can actually sing Stevie Nicks pretty decently, my boyfriend absolutely loves it when I do. "Tango in the Night" is my favorite Fleetwood Mac album, I listen to this record religiously. Once I listened to it on repeat for about 3 days straight, and my dad eventually had to tell me to switch to a different record because he was ready to hear some other great music 😂 The song "Twisted" which Stevie sang with Lindsey Buckingham, was part of the 1996 movie "Twister" with Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt. My favorite movie, and my favorite Stevie Nicks song, might I also mention that I'm a weather nut and also studying for a degree in meteorology? Yeah, I also chase tornadoes, hence why "Twister" is my favorite movie.

And last but not least, these two little guys. Tiësto is perhaps my favorite DJ of all time, his classic hits and even the new ones, always give me such a vibe that is so enjoyable. My favorite mix of his? "Silence" by Delerium with Sarah Maclachlan, this was one of Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise" mixes, and I still get absolute chills hearing it.

Oh yes, I forgot to add, a bunch of the vintage vinyls I bought, I got at Guestroom Records in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma while I was there back in May. They have a giant clearance section with records under $5, and of course they have all the newly released music, and even full collection sets. My favorite part? They also have a beautiful kitty cat that lives at the store and he/she is such a lovely kitty. So if you're in OKC and wanna buy some vinyls? This is your place.

So that's all of my vinyls I have so far! I hope you enjoyed seeing my collection, and reading about why they mean so much to me, I hope I didn't bore you too much with them haha. Again, feel free to show me some of yours! Tell me why they mean so much to you! :)

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gurguliare · 5 years

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DVD: that one scene from your fic about Dirhaval, with the elf lady and the two of them being really intent with each other over the fire. "Do you love me" et cetera. I hope that makes sense I'm on mobile.

omg IT DOES although since that fic barely has scene divisions I’m going to take this excuse to do… a lot of it.

“I have remembered something,” she added, inconsequentially. “My aunt’s husband was Guilin’s steward. Everyone in my family hated him because he always making up to us with stories about the great princes. He said that Gwindor and Finduilas fought much over the Adanedhel’s love for her.”

I… I love this OC. She’s not even a box of rocks, she’s like, a box with one rock in it. Selectively dense; elsewhere, airheaded.

Dírhaval considered the fish with great interest. He had been told triumph lent him a fierce expression. He had no wish to scare his friend off now.

I can’t remember if @crocordile and I had a conversation before or after I wrote this about Dirhavel being like, not necessarily a big but an energetic guy who’s frequently seen around the camps doing SUPER WEIRD athletic shit to see if some of the feats he attributes to Turin were physically possible—anyway, whatever the timing, that concept was what I was psychically tuned into when I wrote this description. He has a beard and it bristles despite his best efforts to keep it trimmed.

“Raised voices—he overheard—Gwindor said, ‘Why does he seek you out, and sit long with you, and come ever more glad away?’ And that was true, I remember; they sat together in all kinds of places, on the terraces, in the treasury, and even by the earthworks for the bridge. No doubt he told her much you would be glad to know. But as for me, I think Gwindor a fool; few men would have loved her for listening. It reminds them what they hold dear in themselves.”

It was really hard for me to strike what seemed like a reasonable balance between hearsay and direct observation, but I leaned on the idea that Nargothrond, though huge, was not like, “modern city space” huge, more “sprawling overdeveloped apartment complex and you need a permit to go above ground”—so in five years and with perfect memory, everyone has a decent chance of stumbling on everyone else’s attempts at fresh air.

“That’s true,” he said. The first time he had interviewed her, she had spoken for an hour about the cavern of assembly, like an egg on its side—but so vast!—and with stalactites Finrod himself had sung down into pillars, or was it that he had worn holes in the walls parting small caves, she couldn’t decide; and the window on the river, whence a grey light came, like a shadow thrown on the gliding light of a thousand lamps and torches.

I think this description of the great hall is kind of cute but I have to acknowledge it was influenced, consciously or subconsciously, by the great hall in the Rats of Nimh.

And now when she spoke it was matter-of-fact and with hardly a jibe at her uncle. She was Túrin to him in that moment with her straight-sloping neck, the flushed skin of her neck and jaw with her face as fair as fair could stay at sunset, the cupful of shadow under her chin. He had burned the roof of his mouth. The fish was tender, almost flavorless, flaking between his teeth like a cake of river-flesh; a little muddy, even, as all water here was. He ate the crisped-black skin for a whiff of charcoal, which coated his mouth. “Don’t you love me, your loyal hearer?”

She gave him a startled wink; and smiled, and smiled.

Okay, so yes. I do love this moment, I hope it does a lot of things at once; basically I want 1) Dirhavel to be ironic in a nice way about his elf friend attempting to invent the term “emotional labor,” which reflects both a male impatience with this attempt to generalize everything to men talking women’s ears off, but also some vague species-based edginess about him trying to construct this human story out of testimony from elves, and like, navigating elves’ possessiveness of Turin but also the way they patronize him in the same breath, Adanedhel. And at the same time having to confront the fact that people are people and the elf-human boundary has gotten increasingly blurry with the end times, however much he might want to retain a sense of lofty apartness, whether as a human among elves, a writer among subjects, a man among women, whatever—that tension between observer distance and involuntary empathy is another big theme of this fic. And 2) I want the cook to catch it but not quite get it—like, she knows he’s making fun of her but she doesn’t necessarily interpret it in the same way he does, what she gets is that he’s talking about the limits of different kinds of love, that you can love someone and it can still go just so far: that’s why it triggers her next thought about Finduilas –> Turin.

“I do not think Finduilas loved the Mormegil either. Or, that is, I believe they loved one another as sister and brother.”

I said this in my commentary on an otherwise VERY different LOGH fic but I love when characters are wrong. Every time. Also, I love childish oversimplifications that have good reason for existing—that is, I like when you can really see why a character would with all their heart want to believe x, because the alternative is both messy and depressing.

Trying to lick his fingers clean just spread around the soot. Among the things she had told Dírhaval was that she was an only child. But he was inclined to believe her, almost. To Finduilas Túrin should have been a child. She must have wanted to love him like a brother—it would have been best, by far clearer and finer, to love him as a brother, even when her death walked near. The death he handed her down to; but if they were kin, it would have been her right to love him, blaming him.

“Do you not agree?”

Dirhavel takes this basically as like, confirmation for his thesis that all real love is irrational and unconditional (see also Gwindor wanting Finduilas and Túrin to be happy at his own expense, a few lines down) but only familial love has the “excuse” to be so. So the distinction is not, “would I love him whatever he did to me,” but rather, “do I feel fucked up and guilty about that fact or not.” In a vague way, this is supposed to set up the extremely bleak lines he gives Nienor after she gets her memory back: twice beloved.

“I can’t say.” Up again to pace. She followed him, basket on her arm, and settled onto her haunches when she saw he had no journey in mind. He stood when he performed, which was not hard, but it made him more restless when alone.

See above remarks about Dirhavel’s acrobatics, and also maaybe his ADHD

“I think—by the time—no, Túrin did not love her, and as for Finduilas, well, surely she cared for Gwindor? If they argued. Let’s see. And Túrin pursued her at last and fell in a swoon on her grave, we know that. And he loved Gwindor; how not, when Gwindor was with him at Ivrin? But Gwindor—I suppose—Gwindor must have hated him. No. He must have hoped Túrin loved Finduilas, and that was why he couldn’t be persuaded of the truth. For he would have wanted her to be happy, in the end.”

“Oh, no!”

His mood tipped down at once. “Oh no,” he agreed, and took his sandals off and stepped into the stream.

Again, I just think this interaction is fun. I mean I like the placement of his realization about Gwindor, but I LOVE the cook being like “oh no!! that’s so sad!” I hope other people enjoy “stories about the process of idiotic sadstuck brainstorming” as much as I do.

His mother had said once that both he and his father were happier than other men, but that they had no ballast, to keep steady the craft. If he took on an ounce of grief he’d sink, and yet he felt the flood almost as freedom. It made him more the master than had his dry, feckless race, his high-riding. As long as he struggled he had yet to succumb; that was the rule for a wasted night. He ought to go beg a bowl of sour milk from Linnor, or go and sing a service for the king. He could see as far as a night of stars.

I wanted to communicate a particular kind of mood downturn here where you can still clearly remember being happy, and the rising tide of discontent isn’t overwhelming on its own, it’s just depressing because you know where it leads—but for the same reason it’s also a relief, in that you know where it leads. Whereas joy is weird and easy to get lost in and you never know when the plug will be pulled. But I’m not sure the boat metaphor really works.

But it was day, it was red evening. It was his companion’s grief, filling his mind from above. She crouched and watched the far bank huge-eyed, not a tear in evidence, eyes opened but sealed, as it seemed, against sadness that strove for entry, not escape; she sat with wide mouth cracked, nostrils flared, sucking in great absent sniffs of sea-wind. She was besieged as an afterthought, safe and calm except besieged.

I also wanted to include some telepathy! As always! Dirhaval I imagine to be something of a natural, who probably has had some experience with elf mind-speech at this point—enough to recognize it but not really to manage it. I like this description of the cook in pain, I think it works well with her established personality and also evokes Nargothrond itself, which is of course the thing she’s actually grieving for. I mean, and she identifies it with Gwindor, reasonably enough, and takes unhappy pride in him as a lord of Nargothrond, and in this moment is kind of shot through herself not just with the fact of his defeat but the like, honorable necessity of his defeat, knowing that on some level he accepted it.

(Gwindor surely wished Finduilas joy. Finduilas, dying, remembered Túrin, and told him where his quest should end. The feathered tops of the reeds glowed on dark stems, like a fire in a field of reeds—there before nightfall he planted for ever the standards of the Noldor and their unsheathed swords, kindling in the dawn.)

I’m so proud of this stupid line lol, it’s just the reverse of Tolkien’s—“The light of the drawing of the swords of the Noldor was like a fire in a field of reeds”—but I LOVE THAT LINE, it’s so perfect for Dirhaval as an author and Sirion as a place of memory/last battlefront/first battlefront for this long war. And its conclusion, still to come.

He washed his hands and greasy beard in the river. “Your fish will be cold,” he advised. He had abandoned hope of dinner until she brought it, but that was no reason to encourage bad habits in her.

Dumb friends. Dumb friends are great because they are attuned to the hazards of stupidity, and can help each other.

Then he had to pick some scales out of his teeth, and couldn’t elaborate, but he heard her uncover the basket, anyway.

He had met her before with a handful of salt, pressing a few grains to her mouth to check their purity. “Dírhaval,” she said wisely, mouth full. “Dírhaval, I have forgotten how to cook.” Meaning she had no spices, witched ovens, and trained assistants—maybe, with her, it really was as though she had forgotten; at least it was something else she had lost.

Yeah… the focus on memory in this is another unexpected link to the LOGH fic uh, an inevitable byproduct of writing about a historian, and it’s also supposed to reflect that loss of separation between elves and men, since so much of what distinguishes elves is… their wealth of resources, psychological and material. And the material resources are essential to and interwoven with the psychological resilience, as noted here, so I really wanted to capture that sense that *not having* all the wonderful things she used to have baffles her as much as a hole in her memory. Because the default is that you keep everything forever, right? Another feeling which is not unique to elves. God I love………………………… “people.”

#Anonymous #no one expects the fannish inquisition #silmarillion #dirhaval #thank you for asking! i remain really proud of this fic and thrilled to blather about it

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frisbee-camp · 5 years

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Let Me Help

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Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they're all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 9 Unresolved

"What do you mean you saw them kiss!?" Cyrus had practically yelled, Nala jumped. Andi and Buffy had told Cyrus that they saw Jonah with Walker the entire night, practically attached to the hip. "He's been avoiding us a lot lately," Andi frowned and bit her lip. Buffy nodded and added, "Plus, Marty said there were rumors that Walker was dating a boy." "But, Jonah?" Cyrus said, slumped, "Jonah Hercules Beck is straight..." "No one's straight Cy," Andi said as they pointed between themselves and Cyrus, "we would know." "Yea, but..." Cyrus trailed off. He had totally believed Jonah Beck™ was 100% straight. But now that he knew he was with Walker, he felt a sudden urge of jealousy. He was the complicated one, he was the gay one, not perfect and popular Jonah Beck. Cyrus grimaced, his cheeks felt hot. "Cyrus?" Buffy said, "are you alright? It's OK to be jealous." "Yeah Cy, we all know you liked Jonah, it was pretty obvious," Andi said smiling, "but now that means you can focus on TJ! Who has a total massive humungo crush on you!" "Guys, I don't know why I said I liked him, I think it's because he defended me. It's because he defended me right? I mean no guy will ever like me," Cyrus said as his friends gave him shocked looks. "You've got to be kidding right! You've got the toughest guy in all of Jefferson basically in love with you and you don't even see it? You're all he sees Cyrus! D'you think he'd punch his longest friend over anyone? Don't be so oblivious," Buffy huffed, clearly over Cyrus' lack of self-esteem. After that, their conversation shifted to Buffy complaining about all of the girls that flirted with Marty and Andi complaining about never being able to see Amber because of her work schedule. Cyrus stayed silent for most of it, thinking back to when he woke up in his own sweater. Any other jock would have thought it was embarrassing or dorky, but TJ had kept it. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe he did like TJ? But, at the same time, he thought about how Jonah was going out with Walker, and that made his skin burn. It was worse than when Andi dated him, at least then he thought he had no chance, but now? Now that Jonah was, bi? pan? questioning? Whatever, Cyrus was still bitter. He envied Walker. What did he have that Cyrus didn't? Art skills? He could take a class. He's an artist! He'd won an award for his screenplay. Whatever, he thought, I'll just make Jonah jealous, we'll see how he feels then. When his friends had left after telling him that their "relationship intervention" was over, Cyrus received a text from TJ. From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Hey Cy, hope you got home safe and everything, I'm sorry I punched Reed... Are we still cool? 😬 To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yes :0 thanks again,,,,,sry i was a mess lol. see you tomorrow? From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Of course :) See you at lunch? To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yup WOOP WOOp 💥 Cyrus couldn't help but frown at his own text message. Ugh, I'm such a dork. He immediately texted Buffy and Andi for help. To GHC👩🏻👩🏾‍🦱🌈❣️: Cyrus 💕🕍✨: I think I just said I liked him because he defended me, so I'm overthinking it right? Like we're friends, so nothing will happen PLUS HES A HET!!1 ANDIII😽: cyrus stop overthinking everything, this happened with me and amber too remember???? BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: HE LIKES YOU DONT BE A DUMBBASSSSSS, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL KNOWSSSSSSSS LOOK AT THE VIDEO I DMD YOU ON IG GODDAMN ANDIII😽: Buffyyyy we weren't supposed to show him that.... BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: he needs to know Cyrus was never into social media, he only went on to comment encouraging things on his friend's new posts. He even had his notifications off, but once he opened the underused app, his screen was filled with dm's, new followers, and comments. He quickly scrolled through most of them. Many of them asked if he was Dating TJ?! One said Hi cy i know u dont know me but ur like really brave another said idk who ur kidding, tj is straight lmaooo and another said hey is it true? His heart raced, he suddenly needed to stand up. Where would people get such an idea? Sure, people must have seen TJ fighting with Reed, but he didn't think people would connect that to him. TJ was respected, Cyrus wasn't, why would Tj's actions be caused by Cyrus? Cyrus opened Buffy's direct message, which had been pushed to the bottom of his feed by the time he went looking for it. It was a dark video, but Cyrus managed to catch an out of focus TJ and Reed standing in Iris' living room. He turned up the volume, "-somewhere else!" He heard Tj say, he looked disheveled and sweaty. "GOD, What is with you. Do you like him or something?" Cyrus gasped at the same time as the camera person. Is this the source Buffy and Andi were talking about? "So we were right, you do like him! And now you're choosing him over us?! We've been friends longer than you have with that loser-" Cyrus' eyebrows raised as he saw TJ's fist come in contact with Reed's face. The rest of the video was a blur of curse words and drunk teenagers chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Cyrus sat down on his bed, unable to comprehend what had just seen. Now he knew why he was getting so many notifications. He didn't know TJ could resort to violence like that. Hearing about a fight is much different than seeing that. But, he smiled. TJ had defended him, plus someone liked him! Him! Anxious, depressed, confused Cyrus Goodman who hated loud noises and sports. He felt light and airy, but most importantly he felt needed, more needed than ever. He had almost wanted to come out to his parents right then and there. They were all there, of course, sipping their wine about twenty feet away. He had quickly texted his friends a shocked cat gif and turned off his phone as he walked out of his room with newfound confidence. "Hey Cy," one of his parents had called to him suspiciously, he didn't care which. TJ Kippen liked him and maybe he liked him back. "Hello parentals," Cyrus said cheerily as he sat in an empty dining room seat, they were still having brunch, which had now turned into wine and ice cream. Cyrus picked at the leftover grapes and popped them into his mouth grinning. "You look very happy today Cy, what did those girls do to you in there?" Norman joked. Cyrus shrugged and chucked uncomfortably. "Whatever happened to that girlfriend of yours Cy? Ilene was her name?" a mom said. "No Sharron, it was Ivy," Todd said. "No, I'm pretty sure it's Isa," Leslie said. "Guys, you're all wrong. It's Iris. And we were never really together and I don't want to talk about this with my parents right now," Cyrus got up to leave, but one of his parents called out to him. "Wait! Cy! Don't close us off so quickly. Just tell us, are there any new girls we should know about?" Shannon wiggled her eyebrows, Leslie nudged her side. Cyrus laughed a little too loud, "NO," he said, "no girls mom, never." "Never?" Todd said, quizzically. Cyrus stopped. Did I just out myself through a joke? Am I really boo boo the fool? "Cyrus?" His mom said, "do you want to tell us something we might already know? You know you can trust us." Cyrus thought about how his parents were trained in observing and analyzing. He knew that if he didn't answer, then they'd know he was hiding something if he answered too quickly they'd also know, and if he said anything at all they'd also know. He stood still instead, hoping that some being would impossibly teleport him to a different planet. Maybe Pluto? he thought Pluto is cute, and very far away from here. "Cyrus?" His parents called again. Cyrus stared at the wall behind them, unable to speak. He gave one last chuckle and turned to walk a little too quickly to his room. He put on his headphones, played his playlist titled I'M A BIG FAT HOPELESS ROMANTIC and looked at the messages left on his phone. They ranged from encouraging Bitmojis to angry girls telling him to back off. Oh my god, tomorrow is going to be hell. Cyrus spent the rest of the day nervously doing his homework in anticipation of tomorrow. Normally, he'd text TJ whenever he was nervous, but now that he was the reason for his anxiety, he stuck to his history notes. He had come out of his room only when he knew half of his parents were gone. Monday morning was relatively quiet, his parents had decided to not ask him about what had happened yesterday, which he was eternally grateful for. However, that was not the root of all of his worry. Once he got to school, Cyrus immediately knew something was different. For the first time in his life, people his age noticed him. Everyone's eyes followed him down the hall, to and from his classes, and even during the peak hallway traffic. Thankfully, he had Buffy and Andi the entire day to protect him. Sure, they could protect him from direct attack, but he could still see kids whispering and pointing at him. During lunch, Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus sat at their usual spot. "Okay you guys, things are different now, be prepared." Buffy had warned them both. Cyrus felt uneasy, he knew something was about to happen, but he didn't know what. They had been discussing how to address Jonah's new boyfriend without being overbearing. They decided to not bring it up. Just then, Marty and Amber walked up to the table and sat next to their respective partners, leaving Cyrus alone with his muffin for the millionth time. He thought about texting TJ, but he didn't know what to say to him. "Cyrus!" Amber said, "I'm glad you're feeling better. TJ should be here soon." Suddenly, the cafeteria doors opened and in came Jonah holding hands with Walker. Cyrus made a fist. They sat down a little too happily, Cyrus looked down at his tray. He felt tears pool in his eyes. "Hello there," Buffy eyed them. Cyrus tentatively looked over at Jonah who seemed grounded. There was something different about him as if a light he didn't know existed had been turned on. He watched as Jonah talked to his friends, he didn't listen to what they were saying, he was too busy looking at how Jonah looked at Walker every so often just to smile at him. Cyrus wanted that. He wanted someone who understood him, someone who grounded him in reality, someone that didn't make him feel so lost. "So," he heard Jonah say in his direction, "I heard that TJ likes you. I thought you guys were already together?" Cyrus thought he heard a twinge of jealousy in his voice, but it might have been his imagination. Cyrus suddenly couldn't handle it anymore, from the stares to the questions, to gently coming out to his parents, it was too much. He silently stood up. His friends eyed him. "I need," Cyrus started but couldn't seem to verbalize his thoughts. What did he need? Something, he needed something. "Something," he said, before quietly packing his things and walking towards the cafeteria exit. Before he could exit, he saw TJ walk in. Cyrus saw the confidence oozing out of him, his stomach churned. "Hey," TJ smiled at him, "Where are you headed? Lunch just started." "Oh, I was going to uh-" Cyrus looked up at Tj, Did his face get cuter? "I uh, was going to go sit with Andi and Buffy and them," he looked for an escape, but TJ was already turning him back around to join his friends. "Come on then silly, they're the other way," TJ grinned. Cyrus hid behind TJ for most of the walk back to the table, the whispers they were getting were becoming unbearable, he wanted to cry. He couldn't make himself look his friends in the eyes when he sat back down. "Is this the something you needed?" Marty chuckled, Buffy jabbed him with her elbow. Cyrus fiddled with a broken spork as his friends continued talking about Jefferson gossip. Tj had inched himself closer to Cyrus, he let him. He hadn't noticed how different he felt with TJ around. How much easier living seemed to be. Before he knew it, he and TJ were shoulder to shoulder, leg to leg. He still couldn't bring himself to look at his friends, but they were used to his daily mini meltdowns. TJ started to laugh at something Walker had said, Cyrus grinned slightly He fits in so well. He saw Tj look down at him worried, he gently pried the spork out of his hands, it had started to draw blood. Cyrus hadn't noticed. "What's wrong? Do you want to leave?" Tj softly asked him. Cyrus gave a small nod, his heart lurched. There were too many eyes on him. Tj quickly packed away his things and gave his friends an excuse. Before walking away, Cyrus saw Jonah frown at them. Cyrus didn't know where Tj was taking him, but he didn't really care. In the hallway, Cyrus thought he heard a noise. Once they rounded the corner, he saw Reed, Lester, and a couple other boys he didn't know. He gulped. TJ moved in front of him. "AYYYY look who it is!" Reed said, throwing his arms up. "Leave me alone Reed," TJ said, trying to walk through. "Bro, we're still bros. I forgive you for the other night. I know you were drunk and shit." Reed leaned in closer and said something to TJ that Cyrus couldn't hear, but made TJ look back at him. "Dude, leave him alone," Lester said, pushing on Reed's shoulder. "Hey, I just want to know what we're all thinking. So Teej, what is it? Are you still choosing this dork over your bros?" Reed said. The rest of the gang looked apprehensive, they didn't care enough to cause a scene. "Dude, just leave it," One boy said worried. "Shut up," TJ said quietly, "Just shut up." Cyrus saw TJ ball his fists and tense up. Lester moved towards Tj, but Reed stopped him with his arm. "Tell us," Reed said. TJ stayed still. "Teej-" Reed had said before Cyrus heard bodies hit the floor. He closed his eyes. There was yelling, sneakers hitting the floor, and eventually, he heard the voices of teachers. Someone pushed him against the wall, someone else called his name, someone else touched his hair. He didn't want to open his eyes.

#andi mack #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #ambi #amber brown #pandimack #andi mack fanfic #tyrus #tyrus fanfic #wonah #jonah beck #walker brodsky #muffy #marty from the party #reed with the weed #tw fights #kippen twins

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akane171 · 2 years

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Haha, it's funny to imagine people actually doing that for sure🤷🏻‍♀️😂 Still, I don't need to do that, I'm perfectly aware of reality 😅

Haha, yess, all points I can only agree with, but hey, thankfully Mel has all of that too, so they're a match made in heaven, just perfect😉😊

Hmm...I get where you're coming from, but I can'tsay I wouldn't value my privacy even more than they do if I were in their shoes, sooo🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

He didn't even need a full day😂😂 Eliza was on board like 5 minutes after meeting him and Alura accepted him to Argo despite being the former prince of Daxam within the first 5 minutes of meeting him, sooo😉😌 He's just great like that and anybody and their grandma can spot the adoration, admiration and love he has for Kara just by the look in his eyes😉😉😂

DON'T JUST MHM!😭😖😫😅

There is no evidence, what are you even talking about!!? You're imagining things!

...Wait, sorry, my brain is pretty dead right now, harrass her about what?😅🙈

OMG! "If everyone cared"😭😭😭 I love that song (Lol, there were SO many amv's with that song back then😅🙈)😭😭 And true, very fitting as well😂 and ohhh, a whole spotify Playlist??😱😱😍😍

Hmm... Maybe...Dunno...But, well, we've already established what a random, chaotic mess that plot was, soo😅🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

🙈🙈🙈😅😅😅 "Good"😅😅

Yuuup, mota of wasted potential🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ But hey, fanfics still make it better😉😂

"Suffer here and there"...Yeah right, I find that hard to believe😅 But ohh, yes, Dragons are SO freaking awesome😍😍😍😍

...Well, thanks for making me laugh for 5 minutes straight with that "Moan-El" reference, that never stops cracking me up and "Moan-day" is even better 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Funny you say that, in my headcanon for what happened in those 7 years, he DID meet and befriend Donna (until she ended up accidently back in the present day at least)😂🤷🏻‍♀️

HAHA, exactly 😉😉😂

XXX

I do it all the time, duh... well, when we have grass. Not to connect with reality, just touching it is nice ;3

I know! SOULMATES! :D

I kind of feel they would understand me and vote for a cottage in the middle of nowhere with no wifi connection xD JOIN US!

How the fuck, he managed to be such a sweetheart after years of being brainwashed by Rhea is a mystery. Oh wait, he was simply always a good guy with amazing heart.

*MHM HARDER*

Sure. You know you are both going to be haunted by kangaroos ghosts?

Harass her about Florence. I'm not a fan, so she can't fangirl with me about them xD also, I'm interested if she will fnagirl or just be cool and collected xD

It's a good song... and I can admit it as someone who doesn't liek teh band XD Yep, a whole ass spotify list. I would send the link here, but ya know, my haters would dig it out and blah blah blah

I will never stop being butthurt about that plot. I just feel I'm going to be 80 years old and get randomly irritated while stroking a cat.

They are. Especially if you want Mon-el interacting with a disabled, depressed and very grumpy dragon...

Happy to make you happy. Still, fucking MOANDAY. Who the fuck established this day?!

...I feel like I should harass you into writing that fic... On the other hand.... that angst =='

On the brighter side of life, I'm writing A Definite Maybe, keep your fingers crossed!

Imagine Mon-El viking style. Kara would die xD

#anons #my fam

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specsnsarcasm · 6 years

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The Affair - “402″

Watching "The Affair":

Cole

Oooooh! Tension! Something must have just gone down btw Noah and Cole. Tbc...

Can I just say how extremely happy it makes me that the kid from Noah's story (Anton) is on their “guy's trip” to find Alison? I'm way happier than I should be! Lol. I guess it's because it kind of means he's not being used as a prop in just one story, but is one of the gang?

It's a "Cole" episode! (Yay!)

Grandpa? Who tf is he calling "grandpa"? This dude looks like a straight-up villain from an 80's movie, and about 40 himself. Ppl in glass houses...

Omg, the scene with the police officer was so tense! I hate that some people get to use their privilege to get out of these types of situations. Cuz it sure as hell doesn’t work for everyone. 👀👀👀

Aw, Catalina is so cute and bashful when speaking Mandarin!

JJ is left handed (twinsies!)

So here's my problem with last season: EVERYTHING ended up in sex. PTSD/Depression? Sex. Drug addiction? Sex. A damn cold? Sure! Sex it on up! It led characters to end up in bed together again, which felt inauthentic and rather insulting. Look — I get that people have sex. (Couldn't be me, but I hear tell...lol). I get that it can be comforting. But not every scenario calls for it. Especially not the urgent 'I need you now', banging on the kitchen counter kind. Sometimes when people are feeling vulnerable or want to be close, non-sexual forms of intimacy are enough!

Oh, no. Cole, baby, don't do it! Don't get drunk and belligerent and make a scene.

*Phew* crisis averted.

You hate wearing a suit and tie? Awww, poor baby. (Grow the f^ck up!)

Oh, NO! He did NOT just say that to his wife. Boi! if you don't-

Luiza’s speech about the fear and helplessness of being undocumented is absolutely heartbreaking! And this is happening to so many people in the U.S. right now! Sadly, with the current... political climate (*SIGH*) it's only going to get worse. Immigration reform now.

Girl, I said the same thing about him whining about the tie. Tell him!

Holy sh*t! Is that guy on the beach just casually smoking crack? Cuz...

Aw, poor baby. You wanna be 20 and a free spirit, and smoke weed and drink beer on the beach, and f^ck that cute blonde chick and have no responsibilities? Too. fucking. bad. You have a wife. A kid. And a business. You are 40!!! I reiterate: GROW. THE FUCK. UP. (So help me, Pacey Cole! Do NOT make me dislike you!)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they drew on his face! They robbed him too? Man, those guys are dicks! The way they were talking, they’ll probably jack his rare surfbordt too!

(Rubbing alcohol to remove permanent marker, dude! Not soap and water!)

I’m glad they’re laughing about gun violence. HA. HA. HA. Wouldn’t it be wild if she accidentally shot him rn? Cuz lulz, amIright? (What was he really going to do tho, I ask you!?)

It irritates me that both Noah AND Cole's version of Alison is a flighty, spacey, hippy chick, decorating the scene (like a manic pixie dream girl). She carries profound sadness, depth and has her own life. This illustrates how men often don't see women as complex, independently-motivated beings.

Alison

Oooooh! He touched her shoulder! (*tee hee*)

Yo! Dude got his head smashed tf in! Wasn’t that a little excessive? I mean- sure, he's a creep, but the guy lost his kid and is suffering from PTSD.

Great. Is Alison going to fall in love with her "saviour" now?

Wait- how did the guy get in, anyway? I thought the husband locked the door?

What did Alison’s patient hope to achieve by telling her husband what Alison said, if she had no intention of leaving him? And then she has the nerve to look all wounded at Alison as though she’s betrayed her trust!??!? Girlfriend just got choked tf out! Your husband is going through some things but at some point, you have to be real!

Ben seems pretty healthy, mature and stable. Or at least trying (pretty cute too).

Cole, Noah, and this new guy? Alison? lol. Okay. 👀👀. Meanwhile, me: over here, single AF!

The way Jodie said “yes” to leaving the car light on reminds me of that fire-starting girl.

Dang, Ben Cruz! The way he asked her out was really smooth! Points! (Although, Skype? Really?)

Thoughts:

It’s interesting that in Cole’s version of events, the “kids” from the beach made him look like an old man when they drew on his face, whereas in Alison’s version, it was dicks and glasses and whiskers or whatever. It emphasizes that the “grandpa” comment and Cole's fears about getting older, and not wanting to become part of the establishment, are what resonated most with him. Also, it’s *really* cool that they took the time to make two different versions of the face marker. The show does this quite a bit. Attention to detail is what makes it so good!

Next week preview: Oh no! Dr. Vik seems really sick! Like... the kind of sick you don’t get better from. HO-BOY!

#the affair #the affair showtime #402 #the affair 402 #spoilers #joshua jackson #alison bailey #cole lockhart #my tv review of

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

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Hey everyone. I'm looking for some opinions on how to go about my life and dating. Men, women, or whatever you identify as. All of your opinions are welcome. Don't hold back. Be blunt and honest. I'm a big boy and can take some criticism.I'm 27. I am about to lose everything. My girlfriend of 4+ years who I moved to Denver for just broke up with me a week ago and is moving out and taking the dog. Shit is brutal. I've cried. I've been insanely depressed. I have felt hopeless. Then after a very positive conversation with a very positive friend, a switch flipped. I realized how much I have to offer and what a catch I am. Oddly enough, I've never been more confident. I completely understand that I'm riding an emotional roller coaster right now, so I'm just looking for some validation that I'm on the right path.I took time off work to get away and hopped on a flight and came home to see friends and family. I'm not going to lie. I have been doing a good amount of drinking with the boys and bullshitting, but I've felt like a man again. I've looked back at my ex and seen things I don't like, and have seen how much I was not valued as an individual. I certainly took her for granted as well and can fully admit I didn't give as much effort to date her and make her feel special and be as empathetic as I should be. She claimed to want a real man, but wasn't very good at accepting criticism or being disagreed with. I found myself putting up with way too much shit, just to avoid arguments. I think she wanted a doormat and I think I lost my balls for a while.Anyway, that is a little bit of background on the situation. Back to how I'm feeling now. I've been going up to girls at bars and starting all sorts of conversations. Just quick-thinking wit and charm is the only way I can describe it. I have not been looking to get laid. My girlfriend is going to be my ex after our conversation tomorrow when I get back in town. However, I've never cheated on anyone in my life and I'm not even trying to pull that shit. We are going to end, but I have enough respect for her and myself to not be that guy. Plus, I still had a lot of thinking to do and I'm not sure some strange would have been the wisest thing.I've shown an insane amount of confidence. I'm not trying to make myself sound really cool or anything. I don't think I'm cocky. I'm keeping things light and just straight up putting smiles on girls faces and making them laugh. I am not trying to get laid. I'm trying to go out and have fun experiences and meet new people.A buddy the other night pulled the "Have you met Andrew?" move (I'm Andrew) on some really pretty blonde. It sparked a really funny conversation and her and I ended up chatting even after she flashed her ring at us. She had a smile on her face the entire time and was loving the group’s energy. I wasn't trying to lay out all of my problems to her, but I did fill her in on my situation and asked her some advice on a topic my friends and I were discussing. We were talking about how taken guys tend to be attractive to women when going out. I feel like I always got more attention from women when I wasn't trying and just going out and having fun, because I had a significant other. I believe laughter, positivity, and a good time tends to attract women. When I used to be single (we met at the end of college), I just remember putting so much pressure on myself to get laid and I struck out constantly. I'm a good-looking guy and very fit, but I was just super nervous and wasn’t even close to being as comfortable with myself as I am now.Anyway, the question was wondering how women prefer to be approached. In my mind, hot women get approached constantly and hear the same bullshit. There are pick-up lines. There is the boring "What do you do?". I want to know what you do for a living but I want to know what makes you you and have a good time with YOU. I wondered if this was the right approach. I said these things to her and she confirmed that I was handsome and confident, and if she was single she'd definitely want to talk to me and would be interested.I had another experience last night of talking to a really attractive girl. I think I was trying to flirt with her at first. I don’t even remember how it started but her boyfriend eventually showed up and I ended up making friends with the both of them and having a good conversation. My positivity was inviting to both of them and we had a great time. I asked this girl the question about how to approach women as well. She confirmed I was handsome and would totally be into me if she was single and would have loved how I went about approaching her. She was very handsy with me and might have actually been attracted to me, but she seemed happy in her relationship. I’m not trying to be that guy and respected her relationship, but it did feel good to know a girl that fun and gorgeous liked who I was. She seemed like a great girl. We were all talking for so long that I think my buddy saw from a distance, knowing what I was going through, and came up assuming I was bothering them. I think he tried to apologize for me or something like that. The girl shot me a look of “who the hell is this guy?” and confirmed I’m cool. No problem here. She even later said don’t be like him, LOL. Basically I feel like I am acting completely different from how most people do, and I’m loving it.I just watched the movie Everybody Wants Some and took a whole lot of life lessons from it. I found a lot of the characters to be very admirable, particularly Finn. I see a lot of him in myself. An alpha, but not in the way that many people think. An intellectual jock who isn’t afraid to live in the moment, show his strength and vulnerability, isn’t afraid to be sarcastic and funny and say outrageous things, but never be an asshole to people. A character in the movie says a quote that really stuck with me. As someone who embraces the weird, this rang true. He said, “We’re fucking weird man. We’re different. The trick is you can’t fight it. You gotta accept it. You gotta embrace your inner strange, just be fucking weird, and when you do that, you bring who you are, never who they want, and that my friend, is when it gets fun”.I'm well spoken. I know exactly who I am and what I believe in and I don't sweat the small stuff. I have a good job. I'm a great athlete. I love having a good time and usually have a smile on my face. I can admit my flaws and take responsibility for my mistakes. I can have a conversation with someone and disagree with them respectfully, while also considering their opinion. For all I know, maybe you will change my mind. If not, you are entitled to your own opinion on ANYTHING and I respect that. I choose my battles. I’m more than willing to say I’m sorry in an argument, even if I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong. That’s not because I’m a pussy. That’s because I realize maybe I raised my voice or didn’t communicate effectively. That’s because I can put emotions aside and take a look at things and realize I would rather end this and enjoy the rest of the night, because is this tension really worth it over DISHES(insert anything silly couples fight about)!?!? I feel like those are all very admirable qualities and I’m proud to have them.So Redditors, I’m about to embark on a journey that’s going to have its ups and downs, but I feel confident about who I am and feel like I have a lot to offer, and if you don’t like it, that’s cool too. The bar scene is not my thing. I loved staying in on Friday nights and making drinks and watching movies with my favorite person, BUT now I’m rolling with the punches and making what is best of the cards I’ve been dealt. I know this post is very long, and as I typed it it just became more of a venting session. I appreciate you reading through it and hope maybe you got something out of it as well. Below is a summary of what I want answered.Am I going about all of this the right way?At a bar, as a girl being hit on all of the time, would talking to someone genuine and different like me be refreshing? Would you rather have someone serious?What is the etiquette for asking for numbers or dates in a normal everyday setting? If I see a pretty girl walking down the street and I walk up and ask a really silly and out of the blue question with a smile on my face and some charm and confidence, would you be offput? Is it too much if I start like that and then say, “But really I just thought you were really pretty and wondered if you wanted to grab a beer sometime”. I understand getting hit on can get annoying, so that’s why I try and keep a positive vibe and smile on my face and make you laugh. I want you to know I’m not a creep and I’m a fun time. If you don’t like me that’s cool. I’ll leave you alone. IMO having a stranger walk up and make you feel good about yourself or give you a conversation NOBODY else would is something that makes you memorable and unique. It’s not the worst thing to try and put a smile on someone’s face. If you can’t see that, I can’t see myself with you.Thank you all for reading. I look forward to the responses. via /r/dating_advice

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